#my feral idiot would be EVERYWHERE

[simplynotcapable]

if i could draw none of the baelon fans would be safe

[babyleostuff]

. . . praising the hhu for the “lalali” MV

[🍒] choi seungcheol

ugh, this man would be so smug (he’s a leo after all), you would not be able to wipe that annoying smirk off his face for the rest of the day (he’d probably fall asleep with it too). choi seungcheol lives for the praise and it makes his ego skyrocket (as it should because he’s the best), but he’d be so annoying with it. he’d follow you everywhere and be like “oh, so you loved the earrings that much?” or “tell me again how good i look with those green highlights”. man would be unstoppable. but deep inside he’s kind of freaking out because “omg omg omg they loved me in the MV” *heart eyes*. (and he’s a lil cutie patootie so at the end of the day when you’re laying in bed he cuddles closer to you, and is like “did i really look that good?)

[🍒] jeon wonwoo

(this era belongs to wonwoo change my mind) 

he knew you’d go fucking feral over him in this MV, i mean the visuals, the outfits, the attitude, THE RAP - come on, there was no way you wouldn’t end up screaming at every scene with him. he was especially excited for you to see the “mafia boss” scene with him, since he knows how much you love the jeon “actor” wonwoo agenda. and he was not let down in the slightest. at first his plan was to tease you over your reaction, but he found it hard to do it since you looked adorable (and low key crazy) fangirling over him in the MV. like, you’re really cute for getting excited over a barely three minute video, jumping around the room, and screaming like a maniac, so he just ends up looking at you fondly as you rewatch the MV for the tenth time.

[🍒] kim mingyu

he wasn't sure if he should have warned you before you played the MV about his naked tiddie scene because he was afraid you would fall off the couch and hurt yourself. like, he knew exactly what your reaction would be on that scene, so he wanted to avoid any accidents if he could. but, to his surprise, you sat through the whole MV in silence, and when it ended you simply laid on the floor, and he was like??? you good??? and then, as if the reality hit you, mingyu got what he wanted - you yapping about every single thing you found hot in this MV (which was everything), at one point you started even hitting him and yelling at him for being so handsome. all mingyu could do was to laugh because he knew that this was your way of showing your appreciation. another annoyingly smug one, ugh (not only is he tall and big as hell, but his ego is even bigger, he’s so annoying seriously).

[🍒] vernon chwe

he’s kind of like “do i really look that good?” but then he looks at you, and your excited reaction, and goes “yeah, i guess i am that cool.” he just really appreciates your reaction, and all of your compliments, and wild screams, and incoherent words - whatever comes his way he soaks it up like a sponge because hearing that praise from you makes him feel so so good. and ohmy he loves your reaction to the middle finger scene, the way you laugh and your excited “let’s go” makes him smile like an idiot, though he gets a bit shy too. he just truly feels blessed for having someone who will praise him so much over a MV like it’s the biggest masterpiece to ever exist.

[bountydroid]

Darlin’

pt 2

Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x f!reader (right now there is nothing romantic, maybe in the future I am undecided.)

Description: After being captured by some cowboys, reader ends up in front of a ghoul and fearing for her life.

Notes: This is awful I apologize in advance. Please let me know what you think. This is just setting it up for the real story.

I sighed as I stumbled behind my captors. I am not even sure how you ended up in this situation. One day I woke up next to my fire surrounded by three cowboys, smiling menacing at me. Next thing I know my hands are tied and I am being forced to follow them everywhere. I heard them talking about a "last bounty" and rolled my eyes. I know their type, there is never really a last bounty.

It was night-time as we made our way to the graveyard, I was so tense you shuffled stiffly behind their leader as he tugged on the rope connecting the two of you.

"He's the best bounty hunter there is." Their leader rambles on. To be honest, I wasn't listening.

"How do we know which grave?" One of his companions asked.

"Well, Slim we look for the fresh one." He responded. "Dom Pedro has our friend dug up once a year. Cuts some pieces off and then puts him right back in the ground."

"That's awful," I mumble.

The four of us stop in front of the graveyard and see a cross with two bags of Rad-X hung above it. "Bingo." Their leader says.

"Shit." Slim replies. "You are telling me the supreme badass we're looking for is a godforsaken mutant?"

"Are you really going to let out a ghoul?" I asked, exasperated by the whole ordeal.

"Have some respec'!" Their leader interrupted. "That is your prospective coworker you's talking about Slim. And our ticket to a big payoff. And you -" He said turning around to me, "You's better keep your mouth shut. Who knows what he does with little girls like you? I imagine we will let him do whatever he likes." He growled.

"I thought you said you knew this guy?" His other companion asked.

"I said I knew of him. My pop worked with him once." He shrugged.

"Your pop?" His companion asked breathlessly. "How long's this asshole been moulderin' in the ground?"

"How do we know he's not feral?" Slim asked, obviously afraid.

"That is why we brought our little friend." Their leader said as he pulled out a cage with a chicken in it from behind his poncho. "A feral ghoul can't abide a chicken. If he goes for her, we kill him."

"Just like that?" I asked dryly. I knew this band of idiots barely stood a chance, and that this was likely where I would die.

"Shut up," Slim said before he grabbed a shovel and started to big. "Should make the bitch dig." He said turning to his friend who just laughed in response.

Some time later they finally had dug up the coffin. It was surrounded by chains, obviously keeping something strong within. I couldn't help the chill that ran up my spine. I looked over at the chicken tied to a stake and couldn't help but wonder, am I bait too? Is that why they brought me here?

The three of them watched with bated breath as they opened the coffin from afar, but I couldn't stand to watch and just kept staring down at the chicken at my feet. Their leader gave the rope tied to the coffin one last tug and it finally swung open.

A ghoul stumbles out of the coffin, groaning and coughing and cracking his bones. He obviously hadn't been let out in a long time. I couldn't help but feel bad for him. If he truly wasn't feral, then there was a person in there.

"Well well well." The ghoul finally spoke. "Why is this an Amish production of The Count of Monte Cristo or… just the weirdest circle jerk i've ever been invited to?"

I couldn't help the snort that escaped my mouth. His attention was then brought to me as I stood mostly hidden behind the leader of the gang.

After a brief silence, the leader started laughing as well, obviously trying to diffuse the tension. "Welcome back. I'm Honcho. Now you don't even know us-"

"No." The ghoul interrupted. "I do not." His gaze then moved down to the chicken. He slowly approached as he licked his lips in anticipation.

The four of us moved back in fear as he picked up the chicken.

"Does that count?" Slim asked. "Should I shoot him?"

"Would you shut the fuck up," Honcho responded. "We-uh, we got a proposition for you." He said as he moved his attention back to the ghoul. "A bounty came down. A huge one. Enough to be a last score for me and whoever's with me. Yeah. Now, somebody made a run from the enclave." He said pulling out a sketch of the bounty and his furry friend.

"Now what makes you think I'd give a good goddamn about that?" The ghoul asked, obviously not interested in the bounty.

It ain't where he's running from I figured you'd be interested in." Honcho said confidently. "It's where he's running to. That witch Moldaver in California. That's where you from ain't it?" He smiled. "Originally I mean."

The ghoul stared him down for a moment. "Now, what the fuck would you know about where I'm from?"

I tried to swallow but my throat was so dry from fear that it was painful. I slowly took a step back from Honcho. I could feel that this was going to go bad quick.

"Well that don't sound like gratitude, do it, boys? Honcho responded with a sour tone in his voice. "How about we put you right back in that hole so Dom Pedro can have his fun with you for the next thirty years?"

The ghoul smirked as he looked between the 3 cowboys, amused with Honcho's confidence. "Well, I'll tell you what boys, whenever somebody says they're doing one last job, that usually means their heart's not in it. Probably never was." He said as he kneeled back down to the chicken. "But for me? Well, I do this shit for the love of the game."

It was barely a second before he had his lasso around Honcho, easily pulling him off his feet and throwing him across the graveyard. I stumbled behind him a couple of feet before the rope he was holding came loose and I fell to the ground. I stayed down and covered my head as I heard gunshots and the two boys falling to the ground. I slowly looked up at the ghoul who was staring down at me with a blank expression before turning his attention back to Honcho.

"You are right, friend, about one thing. This right here? Was your last job." The ghoul said while aiming his gun at the cowboy. "My paycheck wasn't quite what you expected, but, well you know what they say. Us cowpokes.."

"Wait! The girl! I brought her for you! Thought you might be hungry." Honcho mumbled around the rope in his mouth. I was barely able to understand him, but it looked like the ghoul did.

He stopped and turned around to look at me again. I stared back at him in horror, still on my stomach in the mud. "Well, that's no way to treat a lady." He smiled threateningly before turning back to his target, shooting the rope holding up his coffin, and watched as it dragged Honcho into the ground. "Us cowpokes, we take it as it comes." He finished.

Without a word he picked up his bag, threw it over his shoulder, and walked right past me.

I don't know what came over me at that moment, but I knew that I didn't want to be left alone. "Wait!" I said before I even knew what I was doing.

He stopped in his tracks but didn't turn around to look at me.

"I'll die out here on my own," I whispered. "I could lead you to the bounty. There is information that the idiots didn't share with you. I could help."

At this, he turned to look at me and crouched in front of my kneeling body. "I know exactly where I am going darlin'." He responded. "I don't need your help."

"But I do!" I said as I gave him the best puppy dog eyes I could muster as I held up my still-bound wrists.

He scoffed before looking up at the sky. "No." He said before getting up and walking away.

[love-anddeepression]

absolutely obsessed with protective dad miguel omg, like if on a mission where a villains being a creep he would be so feral cause THAATS HIS DAUGHTER so joel coded

Hope you like this nonnie<3333 sorry if there’s any typos.

Tw: a creep. Panic attacks and feelings of inadequacy

"You know, of all the super-heroes I've fought, I'm going to enjoy defeating you the most." the villain grins and chokes you harder, his other hand travels down the side of your spidersuit and he pins you against a wall, "I think it's the suit."

"What is wrong with you dude?" you wheeze out.

He only punches you and his hand moves from your throat to your jaw, "Careful, girly. Or I might not be as merciful as I'm being right now."

You huff, "Yeah, sure. Okay.”

You only realise he’s being serious when his eyes turn animalistic and he grips your cheeks so your mouth is slightly open. That’s when you start to thrash around. Kicking everywhere and you manage to snag him in the balls and he doubles over.

You immediately break out into a run and let out a thwip of webs to swing above him.

Unbeknownst to you or the villain, Miguel O’Hara himself is swinging at full speed to that very alleyway because he was eyes on you.

The moment, he saw the villain acting the way he did, he decided one thing.

He was going to make him suffer.

The villain finally got to his feet and let out a breath and a groan.

He heard a sound behind him, from the dark of the alleyway and dared to turn around.

Two red eyes stared into his own.

He disappeared into the darkness as he was pulled in by garnet webs. The only thing that could be heard were shrieks of pain and the sound of bones being broken.

The last thing he heard before he blacked out was a snarl, “You will never touch anyone ever again.”

——————-

You were huddled in a corner of a balcony, hugging your knees as you replayed the memory over and over again. Every breath you took hurt and only quickened with each passing moment.

It’s not that serious you idiot what is wrong with you now he’s probably gotten away and Miguel is going to be pissed

You flinch at the sound of someone landing on the balcony. And you almost let out a sob in relief when you hear Miguel’s voice.

His head whips to where you are and his mask disintegrates. His eyes widen a little and he makes himself a bit smaller and says your name softly.

Your breathing slows a little as he breathes with you. Guiding you and his hand hesitantly brings your own away from where it’s holding your hair tightly.

“You’re okay.” His voice is soft and calm, “I’m here.”

With a hiccup you throw your hands around him, “I’m sorry, I fucked up.”

“Hey.” He pats your back soothingly, “it’s okay. I got him. The mission is over.”

“But you shouldn’t have had to.” Your voice breaks against his shoulder and so does his heart.

“I don’t care.”

“Did you kill him?”

“Almost.”

You pull back to look into his eyes, “sorry.”

“Shut up.never apologise. No one hurts my kid and and gets away with it.”

“Okay.”

“I’m serious. Understand?” He cups your cheeks softly, and your face scrunches up as tears form, “oh babygirl.” He breathes out as you start to sob.

“I just.. don’t want to be a burden.” You wheeze out between sobs.

That’s when he understands it’s not just about that asshole.

“You’re not a burden, honey.” He says against your hair as you hug him again.

He shushes you as your sobs only grow.

“Hey. Hey.” He pulls you away gently to look you in the eyes, “look at me. You’re not a burden. You’re a valuable asset to this team and we’re all lucky to have you. If anyone of them even heard what you’re saying right now, they’d be shocked. And then they’d be mad. I know that this feeling won’t go away immediately, but for today, know that none of this is your fault.”

“But he could have gotten away.”

“But he didn’t.” He reassures you.

“I can’t screw up like this, Miguel.”

“You can’t blame yourself. He was being a fucking creep and you ran away. It’s alright. You’re human.” He says your name to make a point. “And that’s okay. Okay?”

You breathe heavily and nod.

“Good. Now? Do you want to takeout? We can watch Star Wars back at home.”

You flash him a small smile, “yes please.”

He smiles and takes your hand, “Come on.”

You hug him once again and shake your head against his shoulder.

“You just wiped your nose on me, didn’t you?”

“No, what are you talking about?”

You know that the suit is a hologram right?”

“So the snot is on your shoulder?”

“I swear to god.”

[pursuitseternal]

Smut Ask! 🥵🔥

14 with Ascended Astarion x f!Durge 🩸

🎨 by @comfortyart

“Where are your manners?”

Cross-posted as “Reprimand Me:” for “The Rogue You Were”

Ascended Astarion x Reader (f!Durge)

Smut Ask Prompts | Masterlist

CW: Blood, murder, hot Bhaalspawn shit, mouth play, sucking licking oral fixation, Dom Astarion, table sex, a lesson in manners

They had come quickly, a small force cloaked in shadow. Zealous remnants of the cults you had fought so hard to break. Bhaalists and Banites, cloaked in their auras of murder and reeking of death, snuck into your home, into the Palace.

You were preparing for dinner… overseeing the final touches to the latest gala your hallowed halls would host. Thankfully your silver was polished to a shine, the vases so bright, you could see every movement behind you as they crept in from the sewers, from the bowels of the city.

The biggest mistake about ambushing a Bhaalspawn in the dining room is that there are knives… everywhere. You grin, eyeing yourself in the reflection of the large vase, cool fingers curling around a dinner knife as you feel the metal heat and come to life in your hands.

Child of Murder. Bride of the Ascendant. Who would dare come to kill you? Who would dare attempt to threaten you in the seat of your power?

These idiots.

But then again, you enjoy your massacres like you enjoy fucking your Vampire mate.

Feral.

Quick

And bloody.

It's a torrent of blood, a shower of weapons you unleash on the assassins. Their death cries reverberate off the rafters. Their wild attempts to stab you, to take you down miss so magnificently, you smile. But you drink their hostility, bathe in their ire. They all fall preciously at your feet, a meal fit for a king—for the Ascendant and his Consort. By the time you’re through, there is only silence and the faint dripping of your enemies’s gore from the cream walls and gilded chandeliers. The floor is so covered with crimson, your dainty slippers squelch through it as you pull the dinner knives from their lifeless bodies and lick them clean.

The silver is cool on your tongue, the blood so deliciously warm yet. A hungry hum in your throat and you pick up another knife from a corpse and begin to clean that one in the same manner.

A smile turns your face as that warm, deep chuckle that sends shivers to your belly sounds from the door. Astarion leans against the doorpost, arms folded, eyes glinting with hunger. “Well… I was going to say you clean up nicely for dinner, my darling….” He tuts his tongue, chiding you, wagging a long and elegant finger even. “Naughty, naughty, my sweet. Someone needs a reprimand. You’ve made quite the filthy little mess, haven’t you?”

His darkened eyes scan the corpse pile, “And you didn’t even save any of the fun for me, pet. Where are your manners?” Gods, his tone is petulant and pouting, as if the massacre at his feet displeases him. You chuckle, for that growing bulge between his legs tells a decidedly different story.

Fingers lock like a vice around your wrist, pulling your knife-bearing hand to his eager pink tongue. One long, sinuous swipe licks the bloodied blade clean. “Mmm, delicious,” he purrs as he presses on the small of your back, drawing you close until your hips jut together. “When you’re all sullied and destroyed from your rampage, my darling, you know what that does to me…. You know I adore you, terribly.”

You give a low, blood-slicked laugh in your own sated throat. His hungry tongue laps down the hilt of the knife, brushing its warm, wet width over your fingers. He takes the knife from your hand and tosses it, its silver clattering somewhere in the distance. One by one, your filthy fingers are sucked in the warm wet of his mouth. That sinful tongue wriggles as he licks your hand clean, until he presses a smudging kiss on your knuckles, bending low before you in a mocking and elegant bow.

“I'll have to forgive you for being terribly rude, killing them all before I returned, at least you saved us plenty to eat.” Dexterous as ever, he makes quick work of your bodice, freeing your blood-spattered breasts. Warmer than the stick of your enemies on your skin, he turns his skilled tongue to lave your bosom, tracing the remnant spatters of your fight. “Ugh, I have to say, Bhaalist blood is one of my least favorite… acidic and muddy, polluted from bleeding so many others.”

You begin to throw him a pout, your hand gripping in his soft, silver curls as your yank him up, his tongue still hanging, lolling like a dog mid-lick.

“You seem to like my Bhaalist blood well enough… my lord…”

“That is completely different, my sweet,” he flashes you that rakish smirk that instantly floods your belly with searing need. “Yours is a vintage unlike any other… my first, my blood of choice,” he cranes against the hold you have on him to nip the skin of your throat, his breath washing down the hollow of it. “You see, I have manners, my dear. Since you’ve deprived me of the spurting blood of our enemies fresh from the kill, may I sup on all you have to offer?”

His voice is velvet command, a saccharine order that you are more than happy to obey. That murder-denched hand of yours, coated in the crimson spray drags its sticky fingers down the soft column of your neck. “You didn’t even say please…” you tut your tongue, coloring your lips crimson with a brush of fingers over your frown. “What a liar about manners…”

A growl, a bit playful with an edge of irritation, he narrows those ardent eyes at you. His breath down your throat, his lips crushing yours in a consuming kiss, and you are melting in his arms. Deep and husky, his voice rasps in your ear, that single sweet move tickles you: “Please.”

“Of course, my love,” you consent, angling your head for him to feast.

As he bites into your flesh and sucks your essence, you can’t help but ride the wave of bloodlust and victory that burns in your veins. You suck your fingers; messy, lewd pops between your lips make your love chuckle as he feeds. He can hear your tongue lapping on your own flesh, he can sense the satisfaction of the hunt as you consume from the remnants of your enemies.

Nothing could be more arousing than blood on your tongue, feasting on your spoils of battle as his lips suckle your neck. Well, perhaps one thing could enhance the taste of victory.

You draw yourself closer, his arms wrapping tightly around you, crushing you against the hard planes of his body. His breeches are softest buckskin, supple and tight, and your hand wanders up his thigh. Every line and cord of muscle presses into your palm, your touch tracking higher and higher… until you feel his cock jerk into your fingers. Astarion growls approval between his deafening swallows of your blood, and you can think of no better paradise.

It makes you burn… burn for more blood and lust. Urges overwhelm you, drives now incited by being so close to him… to smell his fragrance with every breath and savor the heat of his body through your dress. Your blinding urge is now very different than before; it is a debilitating craving for your Sire, lust for his chiseled, undulating, undead body. Your drive to dream in red with him, to pave your path in the blood of your foes and lick yourselves clean in the aftermath.

And so you both shall…

The bloom of his arousal bursts into your consciousness, your bond quivering with the taste of your own blood on his tongue. You see it as you feel it, the nails of his hands scraping their points up your thighs, the blood-sticky silk of your skirts rucking around your waist… “Precious little Bhaalspawn, hungry for blood,” his voice croons in your ear and floods your mind all at once. Your vision is clouded in red, the crimson of his eyes and the spatters of blood that cover your palace. “Or are you just… hungry?” He bends down to place a kiss on your neck, so gentle and adoring.

A gentle kiss before a rough fuck, you grin.

In a flash, he picks you up and slams your ass down on the dining table. China clatters and whatever elegant appointments had remained untouched from the invasion tumble down. Your body melts into his hard planes as he slots himself between your spreading, welcoming thighs. Hips grind, fingers yank you flush, dug deep into the curve of your ass. Gods, you can feel his cock, fully hard and throbbing with his heartbeat, nudging against your cunt. Swivel after tantalizing swivel, he humps you, dragging the sweet soft press of buckskin and his arousal back and forth over your mound.

“My my,” he croons, “you’re such a mess, all wet and dripping. Why, it’s positively everywhere.” Nails skate over flesh and fabric to where your sexes press together. He rends your small clothes, the silken gusset disintegrating with one forceful tear. And you in your impolite hunger return the favor. You find the latches of his breeches, pulling with all your might as the little brass buttons give way. Little metallic pings bounce on wood and porcelain as they land unseen.

His cock sings free, hard and flushed and demanding. Pre cum drips down your fingers as you stroke him, warm and sticky and almost as satisfying as blood. He bares his fangs in a blissed out smile, your touch eliciting a growl so deep and desirous, you’re sure the china sprawled on the table clatters again. With a roar from his throat, he sheathes himself to the hilt, mouth at your neck and hands clawed in your skin as he fucks you.

“Such improper manners, eating before everyone is served,” he chides you tauntingly as he slams into you again and again. “And look, you’ve got far worse than your elbows on the table,” a nice slap on your ass accompanies that jibe, hard enough to raise your soft flesh in the angry red shape of his hand. “Such unruly behavior for my consort… show me you know better,” he slows his pace, making you feel every inch of his length stretching you out, dragging inside you from leaking tip to deep rooted base. A hand grips at the back of your head, tangled in the blood-caked mess of your hair.

“Want me to fuck you? To seal your victory in blood? To reprimand you for such impolite behavior?” Crimson eyes roam your blushing face, glinting with hunger and alight with approval. Warm, smacking lips brush your ear. “Say please…”

It’s his turn to play the same games, and it makes your lips pout, your hips buck harder to try and coax him deeper. One of your hands splays back behind you, fisting into the table linens, bracing you as you try to grind desperately on anything you can get between your legs

“Ah, ah,” Astarion chides again, yanking back on your hair to make your gaze meet his. “Don’t be rude, pet. I won’t ask you again. Remember your manners…” his mouth travels to that sensitive spot near your ear, shivers and tingles racing down your spine as he rasps, “and say please…”

Moans tumble from your lips, the only sounds louder in the dining room are the clatters of china and silver on the table that shakes beneath you and the slap of his hips against your thighs as he fucks. It takes but a moment for him to drive you right to the edge, to the precipice of pleasure before he thrusts and stills inside you. “I haven’t heard the magic word yet, my darling,” he pants, his voice thick and sticky with blood and hunger.

Your walls flutter on his achingly hard cock, every muscle of your belly clenches with desperate need. Clenching your fangs, you curl your lips in a snarling smile. “Pleassssse.”

“Good girl,” he purrs, the praise instantly washes over you, balm to your bloodlust as he snaps his hips with abandon. The ferocity overwhelms you, your back now splayed on the table, porcelain and silver poke into your spine as he grabs your waist to keep you on the edge. Heat bursts, sticky sweet from inside your belly, a wash of arousal and pleasure as you scream for him.

Hard… deliberate… gasping… he fills you, warmth flooding our insides, painting them white as he pulses against your vice-gripping walls. His silver locks fall into his face with how zealously he’s worked to satisfy his hunger. A shaken breath from his smirking lips is your sweet reward.

And you are his reward, his prize for his exertions, his efforts to teach you your lesson in manners.

His ruinously handsome face twists into that smirk, the one that makes your walls flutter around his cock one more time as he still sits deep inside you. “And now, a polite Consort would say….” he taunts you, voice lilting and playful, a flourish of his wrist as he speaks to coax the words from your throat.

“Th-thank you…”

He gives you that grin—confident, powerful, and oh so full of shit—as he cups your blood-splattered cheek. “You’re quite welcome, my dear.”

[rowarn]

I’m so happy i found your blog ;___; your soft simon/konig are literally a breath of fresh air like the other anon said😍💕 you write them so well and so tender and caring, they’re literally dream men tbh😮‍💨💕 what are yiur thoughts on how they’d be w a reader whose inexperienced?? both when it comes to intimacy and love in general (im thinking of a feral and skittish cat 🐈‍⬛ who mistrusts every approach and touch and backs away 😭) i always read abiut these men when they’re w a reader who is very sure of her self/sexuality and confidently engages w them (and don’t get me wrong i love reading it regardless!) but what abour when reader has no clue how to act/what to do and is kinda ashamed about it bc she doesn’t want to let her partner down bc she still possesses the v card🥴

(im totally not projecting 😭🙊 btw it’s totally fine if you don’t want to answer this!! wouldn’t want to overwhelm or cross any limits!)

HI MY LOVE IM GLAD UR ENJOYING MY STUFF!!!

hmmm i think both simon and könig wouldn't actually rlly say anything about sex unless you brought it up.

simons very perceptive, he can tell that you're a little shy and skittish about anything too intimate so he keeps his touches pg and simply follows your lead. he lets you guide the pace and he won't bring up getting his dick wet unless you do first.

if he catches on that you may actually want to properly discuss it (even if u don't flat out say it, again he can tell if somethings on your mind <3) then he'll be SO patient and soft with you as he listens. if you're embarrassed or scared, he'll do his best to reassure you that he's not some bumbling idiot who doesn't know how to make it feel good. and he's also not the type to really care about the idea of virginity. doesn't matter to him; he'll guide you and teach you everything snd he'll be so careful and sweet with you, you don't need to worry. he's not great with words but he does his best to get his thoughts across to put you at ease!!

könig wont bring it up bc he's kind of nervous. his thoughts sort of race when he doesn't get a black and white answer so when he notices you're a little skittish about him touching you, he goes thru 400 different reasons why and doesn't want to ask and scare u off by thinking he's some sex obsessed maniac (he's a pro at catastrophizing!!!)

will not ever bring it up avtually, you definitely will have to sit him down and spell out your thoughts to him. he'll noticeable relax in relief when he realizes you're not scared of him you're just....embarrassed?

unlike simon, he is pretty good with words. he blunt and gets straight to the point. he'll tell you that he's...big....everywhere and that he knows how to prep you so it won't hurt and that he would be SO careful if u felt like you were ready. he also assures you that it's nothing to be embarrassed about. contrary to simon, he does understand that some people view their virginity as something special and that if u want he can make it a rlly romantic evening for u!! it's up to u!!! just tell him what u want and he will follow your lead without a single thought <3

overall, simon isn't rlly the type to just jump into bed unless he gets the idea that you CLEARLY want to have sex with him. he's had his fair share of bedmates and he will definitely be able to pick up on any flirting. if he thinks you might not want to have sex, he wont say anything. he's a grown man who doesn't need to get his dick wet (: he's got his hand (yum) <3

and könig is.....könig. he's just happy to be here <3

I HOPE I ANSWERED UR QUESTIONS!!!!!

[mcdonaldsnumberone]

LOVE ME HARDER!

you swear your favorite color has nothing to do with kaiser. but unluckily for you, the boy’s fallen madly in love with you and has somehow convinced himself that he can connect the dots to make you fall madly in love with him. when you meet his flirting with a tough front though, kaiser has a secret weapon up his sleeve (or under his uniform collar).

gender neutral reader

content warning(s): reader’s favorite color is blue, kaiser’s tattoo isn’t super visible with his uniform in this fic

You loved blue.

You still do. And for the foreseeable future, you weren’t going to ever stop loving the color. It was a color so dear and special to you, and as much as you loved all the other colors, there was something indescribable about the blue hue.

It was everywhere. The color of the sky. The ocean. The small Google Docs icon while you scribbled down notes on your computer. A stray car in the distance while you crossed the road. It was the color of loyalty and knowledge, the cool tones even embodying the mystifying feeling of melancholy. And, if you allowed yourself to get a little pretentious and philosophical, probably the color of the universe. 

What a dignified color. You would never stop loving blue. Not ever. Certainly not now. And you would never extinguish your love of the color because of a man.

But boy, was someone making it difficult.

You always heard him before you saw him: the rumble of footsteps, Ness gushing incoherent praise, the shrill trill of German words hanging in the air. Like an overture before a grand opera, except those thirty seconds were the only prep time you’d get to turn on your heel and book it out of there if you didn’t want to say hello to your biggest headache.

“Oh, daaaarling! There you are! Hey- Don’t run away!”

An outstretched pair of arms materialized on either side of your body, and you let out a loud yelp before you were pulled backwards into a tight hug. You screeched like a feral cat, clawing helplessly at the air while a loud haughty laugh rang out against your eardrums.

It was only when you turned around that the sense of hearing gave out to the sense of sight. Beautiful strands of blond-blue hair swept across your eyes, the twinkle of his golden locks not too unlike the catlike gleam in his pupils. Speaking of his eyes, you hated the stupid bastard for how much blue he had on him and more importantly, how good it looked. Even the smug azure of his crinkled eyes made you stop breathing for just a split second, and your lips parted unconsciously as your hatred momentarily dissipated into wonder at the delicate hue.

“Staring at me? Awwwww, do you think I’m handsome? Of course you do. You wouldn't be so starstruck otherwise,” he chuckled. You instantly snapped out of your stupor, and you twisted your face into a disgusted frown.

“Take your hands off of me, you idiot,” you snarled. “I’m not in the mood to talk to you.”

“Oh? Perfect. I think that’s perfect timing to talk to you.” Kaiser kept one arm slung firmly over your shoulders, expertly placing himself at your side. You dug your heels into the ground and kept your place whenever he tried to edge you closer to his torso, egging you to relax into his touch. “Busy being a little color nerd again? I think it’s adorable that you’d pick your favorite color after me-”

“-I did not pick my favorite color after you,” you huffed. You crossed your arms, and you glared directly up at him (this time, you took extra care not to get lost in his eyes). “Do you really think I don’t have a personality or something? To pick a favorite color after a man?”

He shrugged. “Hey, I’m a pretty charming guy, if I do say so myself. Just now, you couldn’t keep your eyes off of me. I’d say I wear the color well. Say, if I swapped my red eyeliner out for a blue one, would that make you stare at me even more?”

You wanted to push him off, but you knew better than to engage a professional athlete in a half-wrestle-half-run-for-your-life-thing. “In your dreams. You’re an atrocious mix of colors.”

“Sure.” He easily brushed your words off. He broke out into his usual smug grin, chuckling at you as if he were a cat toying with a mouse. If he could, you swore that he’d gobble you up in one bite and leave no crumbs. “But I’d say blue is totally my color.”

Red hot annoyance flooded your body. This was so unlike you, to be moved to such anger that you’d be thinking of any color other than your favorite cyan hue, but something about this man made you want to beat him to a bloody pulp until he truly was nothing more than a mix of crimson and black and white broken bones. 

“Blue is MY color!” You grumbled. “I liked it even before I met you! Hell, I probably understand it better than you do! Dipping your hair in Kool-Aid and being born with blue eyes doesn’t automatically make blue your color! It’s my favorite color, and me liking it has nothing to do with you! Not everything revolves around you, Kaiser!”

You fumed at him, having blurted out all of the tension mounting inside of your chest. You stood there, wanting to claw off the weight of his arm across your shoulders. You wondered if Kaiser would yell back at you, if those beautiful sapphire eyes of his would narrow into small slits before he’d wind up for the pounce, if he truly would swallow you up into a void of blue nothingness just to prove you wrong.

But instead he threw his head back, and he laughed heartily.

“You’re too funny for your own good.” He pretended to wipe a tear from his eye with his other hand, and he barely held himself together long enough to look at you. “The world? Revolve around me? Maybe to all those other stupid commoners. Those brainless fools need a stunning star to guide them. To give them any purpose in life.”

You grimaced, skin crawling with disdain as he yanked you closer. His free hand caressed the outline of your cheeks and jaw, and you let out a small “eep!” as he hooked his fingers under your chin to gingerly lift your face to meet his. You held your breath as the German prodigy leaned in, until the silhouette of his peach-pink lips were much too close to your mouth for your liking.

“But, darling… Oh, my sweet, stupid darling…” His voice was far too smooth for your own liking. Like the lining of a regal blue mink-fur lined cape, the kind you’d see in a 1700s painting of a king, the edge you get from swallowing down a mouthful of ice water. He looked too pleased with himself, having you ensnared perfectly in his arms like this. The thick tension that hung between the two of you felt like poisoned honey, and he shook his head at you mockingly. “If anyone were to pay attention closely, they’d know that the script is much more different for you than it is for those everyday fools.”

“Don’t lump me in your weird fantasy.” You blinked at him defiantly. He pursed his lips slightly, but Kaiser didn’t waver even once. 

“All I want to say is that there’s nothing wrong in admiring beautiful things. If you like blue that much, nothing wrong with admiring the blue on me, is there? It’s unhealthy to deny yourself the things that you love so much.” He let you go finally, and you practically leapt out away from him. “If you don’t want to throw yourself at my feet and beg to play the role of my dedicated love interest, that’s fine too! Although, I don’t see why you wouldn’t want to. Anyone would be honored to have my attention the way you do.”

“You’re a self-centered prick. I don’t want to give you any more attention than what I’m already wasting on you.”

“That’s what I’m saying! If you let down your high walls and properly let yourself admire me for the beautiful, charming, handsome guy I am, then it wouldn’t be a waste of your time.” He expertly flicked his hair over his shoulder, winking at you as some of the strands tumbled down his collarbones and back. As atrocious of a haircut as it was, you did have to admit that the color of his weird gradient was very pleasing to your eyes.

But you’d rather eat knives than admit it out loud. 

“You’ll have to try harder than that. Anyone can dye hair,” you muttered, thoroughly unconvinced. “And before you ask, I’m not interested in staring at your eyes either. Blue eyes mean nothing to me. And I can always go buy color contacts off the internet and stare at those instead if I really want to.”

“Boo! That’s so boring! Wouldn’t you want a real living person? Someone with personality?” He pouted.

You rolled your own eyes. “Yeah. Someone that doesn’t have a stick stuck up their ass.”

Kaiser pressed his lips into a line, suddenly lost in heavy thought. He knew your patience was already running thin with him, and while it was frustrating that the typical antics he’d lavish onto his fans wasn’t netting him the reaction he wanted from you, it still thrilled him the same. You were so tough to crack! He knew deep down that you had some heart for him and that you loved admiring beautiful things! And was he not the most beautiful thing of them all? He was skilled, talented, the kind of guy anyone should be flattered to have. All he needed was to convince you with something unique, something that no other groupie or fan of his couldn’t have, and maybe that would be the key to luring you over.

To turn that burning red hatred of yours into a calm, placated blue interest.

“Well, what if I give you something truly special then? If I could show you something that you have to admit is beautiful, would you admire me then?” He offered tentatively. You sniffed, keeping your head held high, but he took your silence to mean that it wasn’t a complete refusal.

He broke out into the biggest grin you had ever seen. Your confidence wavered slightly at his smug smirk, and nervousness prickled over your skin. You held your breath as Kaiser slowly raised his hand to his neck. Two fingers hooked onto the golden collar of his Bastard Munchen uniform, which covered a generous portion of his neck.

He yanked down. 

A flash of deep, royal blue stunned your vision, and your eyes instinctively widened. Kaiser tilted his neck to the opposite side, making sure you could catch a proper glimpse at the part of his throat that was normally concealed by his uniform. You felt like something inside of your brain had violently hit the brakes the moment the color hit your eyes. 

Roses.

Beautiful, beautiful blue roses. 

You’re automatically entranced by them. They’re tattoos, each expertly painted on his skin with a careful hand. The black outline makes the rich hues pop even more against his body, and while you tiptoe forward to catch a better view, you can only make out the better part of one of the bigger roses. The rest are covered by his uniform, and you can see the hint of inked thorns traveling away from the flowers and towards his arm. 

Kaiser instantly caught the shift in energy from you. He wisely kept his mouth shut, but some prideful part of him was celebrating inwardly. He let you step closer to admire the handiwork on his body, your curiosity delighting him to no ends.

You wanted to touch them. To touch him. Oh, you could imagine the feeling of soft rose petals under your fingertips while you were utterly mesmerized by his tattoo, almost forgetting that it was just an inked drawing rather than real flowers.

“Well? Isn’t it lovely?” 

You flinched, snapping back to life. Dumbfounded, you were at a loss for words. It was completely unlike you to not have some kind of mean comeback to snark at him with, but the secret weapon Kaiser had on hand was too much. His tattoo had overwhelmed you in a heartbeat, the artistic touch only making you want to see it again.

But unfortunately for you, he adjusted his uniform back into its regular position with a cruel smile. “See? I knew you’d like it. Do you want to look at it again? Oh, I know you do. C’mon, tell me. Tell me you want to see it again. It’s not like I’m going to refuse.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, and very hesitantly, you swallowed back your pride. “Can… Can I see your tattoo again?”

“With pleasure, darling.” He cooed. He paused for a moment, and he pulled you closer towards him. You gulped nervously when he peered down at you, clearly savoring the victory he had earned by pulling wool (or in this case, a lovely tattoo) over your eyes. 

“But why don’t I take you to my room instead? I’ll take off my shirt for you. That way you can see the entire thing. And then you can fawn over me properly. You just said you wanted to see my tattoo again. Those pretty roses,” he leaned in, tempting you over and over with the fleeting memory, “Those pretty, pretty roses that are in your absolute favorite color.”

You were torn, and Kaiser reveled in that tormented expression of yours.

He held his hand out. “No need to be shy. Let me show you all sorts of beautiful blue things, my darling.”

x

[happyk44]

Percy: I don't get it - why would your siblings even want to "manage" us?

Nico: It's not that we ever wanted to deal with you like a person trying to domesticate a bunch of feral dogs. It's more like we had to do it because no one else was capable. Kind of like how my dad doesn't want to have to go Olympus to be mediator whenever your dads start fistfighting each other, but he does it anyway because Hestia is begging and if he doesn't, the world will probably explode and then the Underworld is going to be way busier than it already is and he's already got so much on his plate, he doesn't need more.

Thalia: I think you're exaggerating here, Nico. I can't imagine our siblings have always been at each other's throats to the point we need one of you to step in all the time. I mean, Percy and I worked together just fine during the last Titan war!

Nico: Okay, well, first of all, people who can work together can still want to kill each other. They aren't mutually exclusive. Case in point: both your dads whenever they think my dad is wrong or get mad about the same dumb thing. Also all siblings everywhere in the world. I would know - yesterday I helped Hazel decorate her room at Dad's house, and wanted to strangle her with the string lights because she was making fun of my room because I was making fun of her room.

Nico: Secondly, camp now has a giant crater that definitely wasn't there before, and I had to be called to shadowtravel from California because no one else could get through the storms you made or make either of you listen.

Nico: Also I can and have talked to a lot of our mortal siblings who frequently warned me about this exact scenario and were extremely relieved that neither of you would be living at camp together long-term, so your thoughts and opinions mean nothing to me right now.

Thalia:

Thalia: Fuck off.

Percy: I just want to say that I believe you, and I would never dismiss you or curse you out like she did just now. I think that was very rude of her, and she should be the one who stays tied up, while I am let go.

Nico: I know the fight was your fault, Percy.

Percy: What! I have no idea what you're talking about. I was just being my usual kind, polite self and she blew on me for no reason.

Nico: I can see your soul, Percy, I know you're lying.

Thalia: Ha! Idiot.

Percy: Shut up.

Nico: I need you both to stop talking to each other for the next ten days.

[whirlwindimagines]

Hi hi! I just stumbled onto your blog and I saw the Vash writings you did and oh my god my heart 💖😭 thank you for this blog!

Totally an optional request, but could you do one where the reader is a bit reserved on her feelings with Vash, but once she hears people bashing him for being a menace or a crybaby the reader goes absolutely feral in defending him on how he’s done so much for people, and starts to realize how much they genuinely cares for him. And if Vash confronts them on it the reader gets so flustered to where they can’t even look them in the eye or just melts with how he is

Again completely optional! Just thank you for all you do and I hope you feel better! 🥹

Aww I'm glad you’ve enjoyed my fics for Vash, I'm so in love with him it's not funny ;p; I hope you enjoy it! I left it a little open-ended :) ;) So who knows what that can mean :) And thanks! I'm currently having some good soup, so hopefully, I get my voice back ;p; Also ya'll have two Vash x Readers today for Stampede Saturday <3

edit: I DID IT AGAIN FORGOT THE LAST SENTENCE, I cant even blame sick brain on that ;p;

‘Those hardest to love need it most’

Vash X Reader

You're going to blame the alcohol, or maybe you are just an idiot? Everything about today was fine, or normal well as normal as it can be when you are traveling with Vash the Stampede. You entered a small town, hoping to stay out of trouble easier for you than for Vash.

Vash wanted to come to this town and said he knew the sheriff here. You crossed your arms as you looked at him, “And you’ll stay out of trouble while we’re here, right?” Vash rubbed the back of his neck and let out a nervous laugh, “Oh come on! You know I try to! It’ll be a quick trip, honestly!” He clasps his hands together, giving you a pout with those big puppy dog eyes.

Who are you to resist? With a ‘tsk’ and an eye roll you let him drag you into town. 

It's barely been five minutes since you’ve entered the town when Vash gets roped in on helping the local sheriff, you offer to go with him but he just dismisses you and says he’ll find you later. You are about to argue when he gives you a gentle smile and a pat on the head. At that point the argument ties on your tongue, and before you can embarrass yourself you just agree and run off. 

Which leads you here sitting at the bar of the local saloon, enjoying a drink or two. You sigh, leaning your head down on the bar, being alone with your thoughts is never good. Lately your mind has been drifting off to warm and fuzzy feelings of Vash. You're scared to figure out what that all means, so you’re choosing to ignore it. 

You hear two men sit down at the bar; you glance at them before ordering another drink. You hold the drink in your hand, swirling it around as you start to zone out.

“Did you hear that Stampede guy is in town?” One of the men says it draws your attention, but you keep your face passive. “The Humanoid Typhoon? That guy is nothing but trouble.” answers the second. Your grip tightens on your drink, you hate that nickname it's so unfair when they call him that. They have no idea who the real Vash is, you know you should just let it go. Vash always wants to see the good in everyone. You, on the other hand, have a much harder time with that. 

“He's got a bounty too; 6 million double dollars. I say we go for it before he destroys the town.” You slam your drink down on the bar counter hard, startling the two men next you. With a glare you look at them, “If I were you two, I would stop talking.” 

So, you were a little protective over Vash, someone had to be. “A stranger like yourself shouldn't stick their nose in other towns' business.” You roll your eyes, “That man is a danger to us, brings nothing but unfortunate everywhere he goes.” 

Your heart aches for Vash, you stand suddenly grabbing the man closest to you by the collar of his shirt, “You have no idea what you're even talking about!” You snap, anger taking over. “Vash does everything in his power to protect people like you, scum that doesn't even deserve it. You’d be lucky to meet someone as incredible and amazing as he is.” You know that you certainly felt lucky to have met Vash.

Oh.

Oh.

You drop the man suddenly, eyes wide, taking a step back. Oh God you were an idiot, truly and deeply. Your heart rate picks up, how could you have been so blind? Clearly, the man didn't like being manhandled by you, because he lunges for you. But before he can reach you, you are suddenly pulled back, your back hitting a firm chest with a hand on your shoulder. 

“Whoa, now fellas let's take it easy!” Vash’s cheerful voice breaks the tension, you look up shocked to see Vash’s easy-going smile, but something is off about it. His jaw is set tightly and his hand trembles on his shoulder. Your face heats up, how long had he been standing there?

The man scoffs, “You should keep this one on a leash.” He points at you as you sneer at him, moving to take a step forward. You're stopped by Vash’s hand tightening on your shoulder, you glance at Vash, as he narrows his eyes. “Funny, I’ll keep that in mind.” 

You're about to snap something at Vash, but he swiftly begins manhandling you to throw you over his shoulder, you let out a shriek of protest at the movement. Gripping the back of his jacket like a lifeline, as he carries you out of the saloon

“Vash put me down!” You yell at him; your heart is beating way too fast and your face feels out. He does put you down, he does it so suddenly that you nearly lose your footing until he places his arms on your biceps to settle you. He doesn’t let go, but instead hangs his head. 

You are still angry, “You should have let me handle those guys, who do they think they are talking all that nonsense-” 

“Stop, please.” Vash interrupts you, his voice quiet and sad. “It doesn’t matter.” His voice breaks a bit, you can tell he's probably going to start crying. The anger melts away quickly after that, “Well it matters to me.” you admit softly, 

He looks up at you, tears forming in his bright blue eyes and your heart skips a beat. “Why? You don't need to defend me; I’ve heard it all before. Honestly.” He says this with a light laugh.

“Well, it doesn’t make it okay!” You snap, and he flinches back startled, dropping your arms but you don't let him get far as you grab him by his biceps taking a step closer. “You give so much to everyone you meet, your kind, you see the good in everyone even when they don't deserve and you give people hope, me included. So yeah, I'm going to defend you every time no matter what, Because I care about you!”

Vash’s eyes widen, and you feel like you’ve maybe overstepped, also did you have to throw in that part at the end? Your face heats up, and you’re looking everywhere but at Vash’s face. Dropping his arms, you turn around, “Okay, I'm going to bury myself in a hole bye Vash.” You turn around quickly, ready to run off but before you can Vash grabs you from behind slamming your back into his chest and hugging you around the shoulders. 

He rests his face in the crook of your neck, “I don't deserve you.” Vash mutters into your neck, you blush brightly, and you sigh smiling softly, “You do you really do Vash.”  You’re not sure on how long Vash holds you, but you’re not complaining. You’re a little embarrassed to have been so open with your feelings, Vash can be a little dense so you doubt he’ll look deeper into your words. 

Which is fine, just being like this together is enough. Your whole-body freezes, when you feel Vash place a gentle kiss on top of your head, “I care about you too.” You were going to die, your pretty sure you blacked out or at least your legs gave out. “Whoa!” you hear Vash cry out moving his arms to keep you steady and, on your feet, “Are you okay?” 

No, you really weren't, you let out a yelp as Vash spins you so you’re facing him. He leaned in close, too close! You shoved him back, leaving your hands on his chest and bowing your head. “Just… hold on.” You focus on composing yourself, you look up as you feel Vash place his hands over yours and he’s looking at you with such a sincere smile it makes you want to cry. 

“It's okay I get it, you’re okay…” a pause, he looks unsure, “We’re okay.” Your eyes widen, and then soften he's giving you an out. You relax, you need to work through these feelings first by yourself and then you two could figure out where to go from there. 

You smile softly at him, “Yeah, we’re okay.”

[winniethewife]

My blood would teach me how to love (Santiago "Pope" Garcia x F!reader)

Warnings: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT. Self-harm, cutting, Degradation, Blood, Blood play, hematolagnia, violence, Fear play, Knife play, Pain play, dub-con, PinV, Fembodied, Dacryphilia, fingering, masturbation, Oral (F! receiving), biting, unprotected sex, Over stimulation, Hair pulling, Unrealistic kink (Please don’t do any of this IRL), google translate Spanish.

Minors DNI

For @romana-after-dark 's Dead Dove Do Not Eat December.

Words:1214

Felt so safe in the chaos

Fuck I think I was brainwashed

My tears are just like dust you sweep under the rug yeah

My fears my blood would teach me how to love

She sat in the bathroom, her hand still clutching the razor as the cuts on her thighs bleed. She watches as the red dots of her blood turn to streams. She started to feel the hurt wash away, replaced with the numbness she was seeking. She sighs softly, leaning her head back on the cabinet behind her. Why was everyday so intense, every emotion too much to handle? She was about to clean up when she hears him call her name. Shit. Santiago, she forgot they had a date tonight.

“Cariño? You in here?” Santiago knocks on the bathroom door, before opening it slightly, he looks down at the ground to avert his gaze if she was changing, but instead he comes in contact with her, the blood, the razor…He bites the inside of his lip. He hated how much this scene turns him on. He should be worried, asking if she’s okay, but a mixture of rage and arousal over took his mind. He kneels down and takes the Razor out of her hand. “What the fuck is this? Huh?” He asks the venom in his voice pierces her soul. She looked at him, the fire in his eyes is obvious. She knew he would be disappointed in her, she had been clean for several months now.

“Cariño, you didn’t…Dios mio…fuck.” Pope is fighting with himself, he holds the razor tight…looking at the bloodied metal he loses it. He takes the metal to his own wrist and slides it across his wrist, once… twice …thrice…She looks on in shock.

“Santi…What are you doing?”

“Oh so you can cut yourself but I can’t? That’s idiotic.” He sneered, his eyes darken as he hold his bleeding wrist to her face. “You see this? You see this Tu perra estúpida? You want that? You like that don’t you?” He snarls as he presses the blood on her face, his breathing gets heavier as he watches the fear creeping onto her face, Pope puts the razor on the counter moving to lift her. Once she’s in her arms, he licks the blood off of her face with a growl. He takes her to her bedroom, tossing her on the bed. He takes his pocket knife out of his jeans pocket, he seems like he’s gone completely feral, and losing his sanity inch by inch as both her and his blood starts to appear on the sheets. As he hovers over her he holds the knife to her throat. “Qué putita! Bleeding everywhere for me right? Como la puta que eres.”

“Santi…I-”

“Cállate la boca. I’m gonna show you…Oh I’m gonna show you…” he growls again before yanking off her under wear and moving down to her weeping cunt, lightly dragging his knife along her skin as he moves. He pushes her legs apart with one hand, the other holding the flat side of his knife against her cunt. He felt his cock pressing on his jeans, begging for release, twitching in anticipation. She lays there terrified, but aroused? She feels the cold metal of the knife against her, and she feels a tingle up her spine. She pants as her feels her hear racing as his dark eyes pierce hers. He pulls his belt out of the loops with a loud snap before tossing it to the side. He moves the knife along her inner thigh, he pressed the tip of the knife into her skin just enough to draw the tiniest bit of blood. She whimpers softly, she doesn’t want him to stop, but it also feels so fucking wrong to be doing this.

“Esa es mi niña bonita…” He whispers as he sets the knife aside and pulls his shirt off, undoing his jeans but leaving them on as he looks at her. Lust in his eyes as he situates himself between her legs. He drags his hand along the cuts, staining his hand red, he keeps eye contact with her until his face in her cunt. Laping at her juices as her pushes his tongue along her strip, his nose bumping into her clit again and again drawing moans from her. he takes her blood soaked hand and pulls his cock from his pants, running the red along his cock, he sighs into her pussy at the sensation, as props himself up with is other arm he feels the sting from the cuts. He groans again, the pain feels so good. He lets his teeth graze her as he eats her out like his life depended on it.  Her legs twitch and her cunt clenches on nothing as she starts to feel her climax coming.

“San-Oh god I’m gonna…fuck..” She groans out as her climax comes in waves over her body, the hot pleasure driving her wild. Pope bites down on her as he growls, she lets out a yelp.

“You should have asked if you could cum niñita…Now I have to punish you…” Popes voice was low and gravely as he pulls down his jeans and gets on top of her, tearing her t-shirt off as he grabs at her breasts, getting blood all over her chest as he hungrily bites as her nipples, like he wants to tear her tits off. The tip of his dick pressed on her entrance, not going in just teasing as his pre-cum mixes with the blood and her own release. She lets out a whine as she felt hot tears in her eyes, the pain was good, but it was all so much. Propped up on her elbows she throws her head back in pleasure only to have Santiago grab her by the hair and yank her hair pulling her head back up to look at him.

“Eyes. On. Me.” He commands. He moves up her body, wrapping his arms around her, holding her head to maintain eye contact as he finally thrust into her needy hole. Their bodies drenched in sweat, blood, and tears as he fucks her, fast and hard, not holding back as she digs her nails into his back and tears stream down her face. “Eres tan jodidamente bonita cuando lloras...Mgh…Fuck yes, Perfecta para mi…” He groans as he touches his forehead to his as he thrusts even faster, he feels his climax approaching and he cannot stop. He pushes against her, Pressing his lips to hers, swallowing her moans as he licks into her mouth, biting on her lips, breaking the skin, the metallic taste of blood in his mouth drives him over the edge. His eyes roll back in his head as he coats her walls with his release. His thrusts slow down, the moaning dies down as He holds her close.

Santiago opens his eyes again to see the blood stained bed, his lover covered in blood and sweat, laying limp in his arms as she takes deep, labored breaths. His head starts to clear. He looks them over, both of them covered in red. He pulls out of her, gently kissing her neck as he held her, her soft skin against his. He feels his own tears falling down his face. He presses his forehead against her again as the tears fall from his soft brown eyes.

“Por favor perdóname mi amor…Forgive me… Cariño…”

“Shhh….All is forgiven…Mi vida…Santiago…”

~

Masterlist

Translation:

Tu perra estúpida: You stupid bitch

Qué putita!: What a little bitch!

como la puta que eres.: like the whore you are.

Cállate la boca.: Shut your mouth

Esa es mi niña bonita: That's my pretty girl

Eres tan jodidamente bonita cuando lloras; You're so fucking pretty when you cry

Perfecta para mi: perfect for me

[rubilune]

Cheng Xiaoshi: There are some things beyond our understanding. We must accept them and learn from them. Because these moments of crisis are also potential moments of faith. A time, when we either come together or fall apart. Nature always has a way of balancing itself. The only question is, what part will we play?

Lu Guang: Did you just make that up?

Cheng Xiaoshi: No. I read it in a fortune cookie once.

Lu Guang:

Cheng Xiaoshi: A really long fortune cookie.

Lu Guang: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces.

Lu Guang: *waves his finger and sings like they're in a Disney Channel intro*

Lu Guang after seeing Cheng Xiaoshi die once again:

Cheng Xiaoshi: Why is Qiao Ling making me do the dishes again? You haven’t washed them in a week, Lu Guang!

Lu Guang: It’s because I’m Qiao Ling’s favorite.

Cheng Xiaoshi: I hate you.

Lu Guang, also known as a universe destroyer for his 100% platonic bff: Why would you wanna save the galaxy? It's full of idiots anyway.

Cheng Xiaoshi: Because I'm one of the idiots that lives in it!

Lu Guang: Are you sure

Cheng Xiaoshi: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO-

Lu Guang: It was me...

Cheng Xiaoshi: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.

This could work either way but I have you know what in mind

Lu Guang: I have an idea.

Qiao Ling: A good idea?

Lu Guang: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Lu Guang after deciding he's not going to be left hoeless

Lu Guang: How do you tell someone that you wanna have sex with them in a polite way?

Cheng Xiaoshi: Excuse me Mx. Would you give me the honours of indulging in sexual activities with you?

Qiao Ling: What the fuck is wrong with you two?

Cheng Xiaoshi: Now, if I may speak for good-looking people everywhere...

Qiao Ling: Only as their rodeo clown.

In my defense all I'll say is that they are so siblings, your honor

Someone irrelevant, to Qiao Ling: Look at you! All cute and small! I could just eat you up!

Qiao Ling: *proceeds to kick them in the shin and run away*

Lu Guang, walking past: Rule number 1, don't call Qiao Ling cute or small.

I support the feral and armed with medical equipment Qiao Ling Agenda

Qiao Ling: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Captain Xiao: Wasn’t Cheng Xiaoshi with you?

Cheng Xiaoshi: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

Cheng Xiaoshi: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once (several times) and it offends me.

Is the following one in character? No did the idea make me laugh? Yes.

Captain Xiao: *double checking supplies in the boat* Compass. CB radio. Sunscreen.

Qiao Ling: Hot dog costumes!

Captain Xiao: I’m sorry, what?

Qiao Ling: You know, in case we get lost at sea, and one of us, probably Lu Guang, goes mad with hunger, we’ll put these on. Lu Guang hates hot dogs, so they probably won’t eat us.

Captain Xiao: Are you saying that Lu Guang would rather eat us than hot dogs?

Lu Guang: I do hate hot dogs.

Qiao Ling: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me.

Cheng Xiaoshi: YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT EVERY TIME YOU BEAT ME AT CONNECT FOUR!

Cheng Xiaoshi: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward.

Lu Guang: I’m worried about you.

Cheng Xiaoshi: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong?

Qiao Ling: Strong.

Captain Xiao: Weak.

Lu Guang: An idiot, is what your are.

Lu Guang: And here we see Qiao Ling and Cheng Xiaoshi in their natural habitat. Texting eachother variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh.

Qiao Ling: Gaelic bread.

Cheng Xiaoshi: Grueling brad.

Qiao Ling: Ha ha, glamorous beans.

Sibling behavior

Qiao Ling: Seriously, all you do is bitch.

Lu Guang: I happen to bitch the perfect amount for someone in my situation.

He actually does

In my mind Captain Xiao is actually now their parent

Captain Xiao: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do. I would kill for you.

Captain Xiao: Ask me to kill for you.

Cheng Xiaoshi: ...First of all, calm down-

What I will always love about this man is he didn't even know them for more than a couple times and yet he never hesitated on helping them

Cheng Xiaoshi: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.

Cheng Xiaoshi: And I started thinking.

Cheng Xiaoshi: Like, it was just trying to get food.

Cheng Xiaoshi: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?

Captain Xiao: Are you ok?

He isn't

Lu Guang: We all have our demons.

Lu Guang, grabbing Cheng Xiaoshi: This one’s mine.

And he isn't letting go

Cheng Xiaoshi: I regret nothing!!!

Lu Guang: I regret everything!!!

*insert the same old joke*

Cheng Xiaoshi: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Lu Guang!

Lu Guang: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

Lu Guang after the 3rd time travel:

Qiao Ling: You need a hobby.

Cheng Xiaoshi: I have a hobby!

Qiao Ling: Fawning over Lu Guang isn’t a hobby.

Cheng Xiaoshi after calling Lu Guang handsome for the 100th time

Qiao Ling: “Ladies and gentlemen” is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly, I’m falling asleep already. “Cowards” on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, to the point, and dramatic.

Here I am again with my feral Qiao Ling agenda. I regret nothing

Cheng Xiaoshi: Lu Guang, you’ve tried 37 times and you’ve failed every time. Give it a break.

Lu Guang: DO I HEAR “FIRST TRY PART 38?”

I don't even have to repeat the joke do I?

Cheng Xiaoshi, seeing a banana on the car seat: What the FUCK??

Cheng Xiaoshi, buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it’s the LAW!

Tbh, I don't think he'd ever get a driving license in the first place, it would be too much of a hazard, but it is nice to dream

Captain Xiao: What's the most efficient way to burn calories?

Qiao Ling: Exercise more!

Cheng Xiaoshi: Set yourself on fire.

Lu Guang: There are two kinds of people.

Captain Xiao: *shatters a window and climbs through it*

Captain Xiao: *turns around and helps Cheng Xiaoshi through it* Breaking and entering is wrong Cheng Xiaoshi.

Cheng Xiaoshi: Okay.

*out grocery shopping*

Lu Guang: *takes a free sample twice*

Lu Guang: Robbery and Fraud. I am a Rebel.

I find that to be a bigger crime than breaking the entire universe tbh. At least in that he hasbhis homosexual tendencies to back him up

Captain Xiao: How do you type so fast?

Cheng Xiaoshi: Anxiety.

Lu Guang: What do I get?

Cheng Xiaoshi: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.

Lu Guang: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one.

Cheng Xiaoshi: It won't be me.

Lu Guang: I'll get my coat.

The joke will never get old will it? (It has, like 4 jokes ago, but I'm so unfunny I can't think of another one)

Qiao Ling: I did it! I memorized everything in the book! I'm gonna ace this test!

Cheng Xiaoshi: Ok, Qiao Ling, I'll give you one more question before you go. What ended in 1918?

Qiao Ling: 1917.

Cheng Xiaoshi: ...You're ready.

I love them a healthy amount

[chaotickasugaicrows]

Hello again. Been a bit busy these last few days and our good friend finally got his internet un-banned by the government so ended up a bit distracted.

Anyway, here's a sneak peak for a fic we're working on. It's an AU based on based on the animanga Marimashita! Iruma-kun (summary in pinned post). Some things to know: everyone is a demon except Zenitsu but they're not the canon type demons. Instead, they're more demons that live in a different dimension labeled hell. Also, demons have a feral state (aka wicked phase) that makes them super powerful but out of control (kinda like how Nezuko went a bit crazy in season 2). Training this state is advantageous if dangerous.

My Soul Is Yours

Damnit! Inosuke heaved as he felt his exhaustion weigh down on his aching body. Navigating the destroyed terrain made his legs sore, and protecting himself from the fierce attacks practically reduced his arms to mush. The taste of iron invaded his mouth. It spilled over and the blood made its way down his chin. Fuck. Before him was a terror that no beast could ever hope to replicate. Kamado in his wicked phase was not only a formidable opponent, but a deeply unsettling one.

Sharp pieces of scorched earth cut at his feet, broken weapons laid around him. Shit. The dust began to settle. A quiet ticking in his ear. Eager giggles emanated from his fellow demon. A grin split Tontaro’s face in half. Feral, unfocused eyes turned upward in delight. With flushed cheeks, his classmate reveled in the destruction he created. It was tough to reconcile the creature in front of him with the lovestruck idiot that followed Monitsu everywhere. Inosuke grit his teeth. His limbs screamed at him as he readied himself for another assault.

The fox demon gleefully prepared a torrent of fire. Inosuke tried to steady his breathing as much as he could. He’d gotten so used to his pack brother’s gentle and proper demeanor, he forgot what kinds of demons the Kamado bloodline were. His friend was from the line that governed ‘Virtue’ and ‘Destruction’. The fox lunged forward and disappeared from sight. However, it wasn’t hard to locate the killing intent that prickled his skin uncomfortably. By the time he turned around, he only barely managed to stop a flaming fist from coming in contact with his face. Inosuke let out a pained hiss as the fire burned his arms. He should have known better, should’ve known Kentaro’s wicked phase would turn out like this. Now this knowledge was seared into his mind as the flames had seared his skin. 

The ground rippled and cracked at the sheer force of the kitsune’s attack, pushing Inosuke slightly into the dirt. Everything began to dull. Despite the burns, he mustered up enough strength to knock the other demon away. Damn that ball ball old guy and his stupid fucking training! He was breathing hard, but he kept his glare on his opponent, cautious of any movement. He shifted a hand to his hakma, ready to pull a weapon at any moment. 

Shit. How long had it been since the session started? How much more would he have to endure before he could finally put a fucking end to this?! All it would take was one word, but that stupid tall ass teacher wouldn’t let him yet! And he would rather die in this dumb fight than give in! He let out an involuntary growl of annoyance. He swore he’d get Hideokojima back for this somehow! Just then, he noticed movement. Before he could blink, the kitsune had disappeared from his sight. Fuck. He better get his shit together or he really will die in this dumb fight.

He whipped a weapon from his pocket. Distantly he noted the wind biting at his new wound. A buyōkiseru. Inosuke tightened his grip. It would have to do. From behind him came the faint sound of shuffling. He pivoted and swung with all his strength. He struggled to remain steady afterward, but it was worth it. Konjoro stood a short distance away, a small scratch on his cheek being the only indication of Inosuke’s effort. 

Inosuke planned to attack while the other demon was shocked at being hurt, except, waves of growing agony put those plans on hold for the foreseeable future. Damn it! He dropped to his knees, no longer strong enough to keep himself standing. His chest burned with every breath. His vision began to blur, sound came crashing back in a sudden crescendoing cacophony. The rustling of clothes, gasping, blood dripping, heartbeat, manic laughter, even the ticking of a watch. 

Then, finally, the voice he’d been hoping to hear, for a fucking while, cut through it all. “NOW!” With a bloody grin on his face he took a deep breath, enduring the pain it caused, and shouted out that damn safeword. “ZENITSU!” 

Gonpachiro snapped out of his wicked phase mid lunge and flailed forward, eventually faceplanting just outside the circle of debris around Inosuke. Although he was glad his pack brother had returned to his regular self, he now knew why the Kamado name was always treated with fear and reverence, and that image would forever alter how he perceived the kitsune. Before he could utter another word, the world became a mess of unfocused colours.

[space-invading-pigeon]

Had the idea of there being kind of a hive thing with cocoons attached to it somewhere in the Upside Down. Like, Steve finding it, seeing something move around it one of the cocoons. Out drops Kas/Vampire!Eddie. They fight and maybe Steve ties Eddie up with a jacket and throws him over his shoulder. Eddie is still flopping around, and Steve comes back to the group. He's kind of dirty and beaten from the fight, with little splashes of blood on his white shirt, the thigh of his jeans, his hands, possibly some in his hair, and his cheeks.

Another scenario could be that there is an opening in the hive. Steve goes in it, leaving the rest outside with Nancy, and finds Eddie sitting on a rock and twiddling his thumbs. Steve sits by him, but Eddie doesn't seem to remember him or himself. Eddie then kisses him after mumbling something like "pretty." And then, it all comes back to him. He's really confused. I haven't thought this was out entirely.

Idk just give me a hive kind of like the tunnels in s2.

That would be awesome???

Like, let's say that someone in the group gets a bad feeling. Paranoia, maybe, or maybe they're growing more sensitive to the things of the Upside Down. Hop isn't healthy enough to investigate, so Steve takes up that mantle. They find the tunnels just like they did in s2, but instead of demodogs, there's these.... Pods, everywhere. It's nasty as hell and Steve immediately herds the kids who refused to listen to him out of the tunnels.

But the kids are magnets for trouble and physically incapable of letting well enough alone, so Steve decides to run damage control before one of them inevitably gets hurt. He goes down into the tunnels alone like an idiot, armed with a flashlight and his walkie. A few hours of exploring brings him to what he thinks is a hub of some sort. It is, as I said, nasty as hell, and Steve is ready to go home, but one of the pods is glowing, something inside shifting like it's fighting to get out, and whatever it is could be dangerous, so Steve decides to hatch it himself, pop that thing open and just fight whatever comes out.

Only what pops out is almost definitely Eddie Munson. A weird, pointy-eared, fanged Eddie Munson, but that's definitely Eddie, and for a moment Steve is so shocked and relieved to see him alive that he forgets Eddie just popped out of something that belongs in a sci-fi. Eddie gets the drop on him, so there's ... An embarrassing amount of shrieking as Steve fends off the attack, followed by an awkward amount of time soothing the half-feral creature he'd tied up with his sweater. Actually, that hadn't been a bad idea- Monster Eddie seems to calm faster, shoving his nose into the fabric and making weird noises that sound like he's trying to speak to him. Steve decides that he's done dealing with this. He's just- there is a line he'd drawn, and it's somewhere behind him, and coaxing some Upsidedown Monster Version of a guy he may or may not have had a crush on out of Fight Mode is definitely crossing that line. He carries Eddie back to his car.

As soon as Eddie is mostly comfortable, Steve pulls out his walkie and radios Dustin. "Hey, Henderson, I found this weird lookin', uh, cat? Meet at mine tomorrow morning." He reports. Dustin responds immediately.

"Why are you telling me about some cat, Steve? Are you going to keep it or something? Over."

"I think we should keep it. It's kinda- uh, bitey right now though, so that's why I said wait until tomorrow."

"You're supposed to say 'over,' over."

"Oh my- fine, whatever. My place, tomorrow. Ten. Over."

"10-4, over and out." Steve snorts a little at just how seriously Dustin takes his radio chatter.

Dustin is delighted to find out Eddie is alive, as is the rest of the Party (although they are a bit shocked to see he'd been shifted into a vampire-esque monster). Eddie, now that he isn't fighting for his life- or maybe now that Steve has his arms tied securely- seems more than happy to let things happen to him. He chitters as Dustin, Lucas, Mike, and Max fawn over him, makes those weird growling noises as Robin tries to talk herself into being totally cool with the claws and fangs and subvocal communication, and melts into a puddle of churrs and purrs and happy grumbles when Steve carefully washes his hair. He does so well that the Party decides to untie him-

Eddie grabs Steve by the throat and holds him for about three lifetimes seconds, as if to assert that he did not like being tied up, and then reverts back to a mostly tame being. After that, Eddie likes to follow Steve around the house, happy to observe until something in the wind changes or whatever motivates goblin people like Eddie, and then he spends about ten minutes chasing Steve down, biting the shit out of him, and parading around the house like he'd done something praiseworthy.

El tries to offer her help, but after much talk, the Party decides to try and bring Eddie back to himself the old-fashioned way. It's a bit awkward, if only because Steve is insistent that they treat Eddie like he's Eddie. Steve becomes Eddie's Person, for a while, because they'd all agreed not to tell Wayne until they could get Eddie back to himself (or at least mostly back to himself).

[aashipping]

Bad Cramps

This writer is in period amd she's in feral mind state, no beta read so get the fuck off if you don't like this post.

Barok x short chubby reader cause I say so. She has a nickname called Pumpkin.

Platonic Herlock/Reader if you aware that part.

Today's another trial day, the councils are the Reaper of Bailey and the great attorney from East country.

But your body decides to stab your back today.

Curling up in your bed, you don't want to move, don't want to do anything. But you want to hear those familiar voices of your friends.

The waves of sting feeling inside your lower belly and back and everywhere just triggered your unreasonable angry.

Suddenly, you got a new plan.

"Hello, this is Herlock Sholmes." The man said while you can hear the sounds around him.

"Herlock, are you in the Bailey now?"

"You sounds like you're weak or something, Miss Pumpkin. Do you need some help? And yes, I am going to see Mr. Reaper and Mr.Naruhodo's trial today."

You bite down your lip and take a deep breath so that you wouldn't yell at Herlock.

"Wonderful. Can you remain this open so I can listen too? I can't go there but I still want to listen to it. Please Herlock, O the great detective!"

Herlock doesn't say anything, but you can imagine he's raising his eyebrows with a confused and amused face right now.

"As you wish, my lady, but can I get the reason for why you can't come along? And I don't see Heather either."

You clear your throat, "She's with me since I kind of in sick. My back and belly hurt and I am bleeding regularly."

"You what?!"

"Don't be an idiots Herlock, the regular bleeding within women!"

"Oh."

You roll your eyes and turn to the other side.

"Alright, wish you feel better soon, Miss Pumpkin."

"Thanks."

Hearing Barok's voice always brings you peace.

It doesn't matter it's his crashing glass sound, his insults to the jurors, witness or the defence lawyer. You don't mind those harsh words right now.

His deep, rich and smooth voice is what you need at this moment.

You craved for his comfort words.

You craved for his warm touch or even hugs.

Of course, you know this is all your mind and fragil state tricking you. But you don't want to be reasonable for now.

You are bleeding, what would hurt more about dreaming?

To Noruhodo Ryunosuke, it's not his first time to see Lord van Zieks be annoyed and impatience.

But it's his first time to see that prosecutor be that gloomy and aggressive.

So far, Lord van Zieks broke 7 glasses and 2 bottles of wine, and one leg slam in the first three hours.

His death glares are cold enough to freeze the witness and defendant on the spot. Even Asogi and the judge could feel his stormy mood.

"I see Miss Heather isn't come today, does she feel sick or something, Lord van Zieks?"

The prosecutor cross his arms, his eyes are closed. Then he open them with a neutral face.

"Pray forgiveness for the discourtesy of unfocused in this trial, my Lord. I do be bothered by the reason she can't be here. But the true reason got me so impatient with, is the nonsense of my learned friiend."

Everyone could see your unusual aggressive, Lord van Zieks. And how could this be my fault......

"Be careful, Naruhodo. The enemy is awake now, time to bring it to a new possibility and find the truth." Asogi peeks at his lawyer friend and warned him.

"Oh, ugh, right! Thanks, Asogi."

In the break of twenty minutes, Mr.Sholmes sneak into the lounge.

"It's a bad weather today, don't you think, Mr. Naruhodo?" The detective says and smokes his pipe.

"If you mean the prosecutor, then yes it's worse than usual." Naruhodo slumps and has cold sweats.

"Heather isn't here, could that means that Miss Pumpkin is kind of in trouble or something such?" Asogi puts his fingers under his jaws.

"She's uncomfortable today, feels sick. So I let her my ears." Mr.Sholmes snaps his finger and takes out his phone device.

"We're adjourned for twenty minutes now so you can say hi to the boys, Miss Pumpkin."

"...Hello?"

Naruhodo and Susato cheers in excitement.

"Miss Pumpkin! Are you alright? Mr.Sholmes said......"

"Yeah I heard him, just a normal problem, don't worry about it. And you're doing so well so far, guys."

"But Lord van Zieks is so scary today, he's even scarier to Naruhodo-sama! I thought we'll be hung up or something when this trial has its end."

"Don't - Don't say that, Susato-san!"

"He's in that bad mood? Why? The witnesses or the jurors step on the death line or something?"

"I think the answer is more simpler, Miss Pumpkin." Asogi shakes his head.

"He's in the bad mood cycle like a black cat he is? Is that what you're saying about?"

"True but no."

"You confuse me."

When the baliff announced they need to move, you called Naruhodo's name.

"Naruhodo, I think the cake is a lie, you need to review your judicial records."

"The cake? Oh ugh I will, thanks Miss Pumpkin."

"Mr. Disanst, you said that you were going to a bakery, can you tell us why you were going to there?"

"Oh uhm... You know, my wife has a sweet tooth and she craves the sweet when she's in mood or having a bad pain monthly. So I buy her cake when she doesn't feel good."

Some audience in aww and compliant him.

Yet, Naruhodo found that there's no cake on the table in the photo.

And there's a butter knife on the cabinet, with a cup of tea.

"But it's weird, there's no cake in the photo, a butter knife and a cup of tea with a strong drug in it are set behind the door, right on the cabinet. Can you tell me why and who put them there?"

"Who knows? Maybe my wife? And I didn't eat cake with my wife you see. I was in the living room."

Naruhodo slams the table.

"Objection! I am afraid the cake is a lie, Mr.Disanst."

"You didn't in the living room, you were in the bedroom. You drugged your wife to put her into sleep, and you took this chance to strangle Miss Cassandra to death before you stabbed the butter knife into her chest and left your unconscious wife with the body."

"You-You have no evidence! This are all your imagination! Why would I kill Cassandra?"

"It's the letter and the cake, Mr.Disanst. You cheated on your wife with Miss Cassandra. She baked the cake and you poured the drug in the tea. You two were planning to kill your wife, but you accidentally found her secret, her betrayal with a backup plan to blackmail you. So you killed her, set your own wife up, so you could keep playing the victim role."

The case is dismissed, and Lord van Zieks seems to lost in his thoughts.

After the trial, he rushes to a famous bakery nearby the Court.

[michaellikesdilfs]

I hate Derek Goffard

He makes me insufferably upset. OH MY FUCKING GOD. DEREK PLEASE DIE. i hope theres a date given for when derek died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone. everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man. where the fuck is Derek if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt. HES SUCH A PATHETIC MANWHORE UGHHH he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some rich shithead whos a fan of creepypasta/torture p*rn fanfics/the hunger games and wanted the irl version just to be edgy ill go ham.

I want to set his motorcycle on fire with him on it so bad. ill punch derek and his sad frail ‘alpha male’ twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until all thats left is one final motorcycle he kept on him at all times and I’ll eat it in front of his corpse. I'm going to pulverize him into dust and then snort him. 

im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point. 

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING DEREK GOD DAMN FOOL MOTERCYCLE HUMPING SAND EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT AVATAR OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING DEREK STOP DEREK I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY FUCKED UP HOBBIES WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT. THIS BASTARD MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME EVEN IF NOT IN THE ROOM. GET AWAY FROM ME 

if i wanted to get into heaven and god said Derek waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down

This man has never showered I just know he has penis cheese. He is such a spoiled blond boy I hate him I hate him I hate him he seems like the type to leave all those ‘fragile men reviews’ on the Barbie movie GOD I HATE THAT MANSPLAINING BASTARD.  I’m currently curled up in a ball sobbing why does he look like taht stop it Someone make it stop there’s blood everywhere I hate Derek he’s probably the type to think periods are liberal propaganda I hate him I hate him I’m going feral why am I shaking why. IF I GET ONE “didn’t ask” COMMENT IM GOING TO CONSUME MY LIMBS. IM CURRENTLY CHEWING ON MY DRYWALL OUT OF PURE RAGE I just know he watches mlp and has a crush on twilight sparkle and Kins rainbow dash

“I Kin Rainbow dash and Applejack bc I’m awesome and I’m kind and I’m brave and I’m Loyal and… 🤓🤓” -Derek

(this is all a joke btw it’s ok if u like Derek I just have this BURNING hatred for this fictional character. This is mainly a parody post of the JURGEN LITNER rant LMAOO)

[thestarwarslesbian]

Time to rewatch star wars.

I will be writing down my thoughts as I go along. First up:

I love the classic yellow writing into a shot of a planet, the planet the main character is on.

R2-D2 and C3-PO who doesn't love them.

The Orgianl corriodor secne, I love it.

VADER!!!!!!

Secret message, hell yeah.

Also Princess Leia - how I didn't know I was gay before I have no idea she always was my favourite.

I love how Leia is seen weak at first until towards the middle of the film.

'Fowl stench'

'you are a traitor and part of the rebel allience. TAKE HER AWAY!' One of my favourite lines.

Going sepreate ways, a bad idea.

That's no transport

'Look sir a droid' - dang they are idiots.

LUKE! My tattoine boy!

I love Lukes hair in ANH. He should have kept it how it is. Din wouls have gone feral.

Do you think Owen would remeber 3PO or not. He would have gone 'Fuck not his droid again'.

'I was going to tochie station to pick up some power converters' - and you never will.

R2 is a murder now.

'Help me Obi-wan Kenobi. You're my ownly hope.' - Classic, amazing, beatuiful - That one was directed to leia.

Owen realy be like 'who is this obi-wan? An old drug dealer like your father.' And Luke belived him.

Look at the sun's Luke. That's right look staright into them. I LOVE THAT SHOT.

R2-D2 proffesional of running away into danger.

Luke now is not the time to sleep.

What a powerful man. Waving his arms in the air like he just doesn't care.

I would have triped down that hill.

The origanl Hello There.

'Of course I know him he's me.'

C3-PO is dramatic.

THE CLONE WARS - where you meet your husband Obi-wan. He's probely out shopping right now.

THE LIGHTSABER!!!!!!!!

Luke you idoit don't look at it like that, you may acidently sab your eye out.

It is in everyone Luke. That's what the force is/

Served you mean severd his limbs.

LUKE SHE IS YOUR SISTER!!!!!

Yes go with him Luke don't go home, it will be the begining of a long line of trauma and I don't want that for my sunshine boy.

bye bye senate

Don't make fun of your boss.

MANIPUATION.

NO LUKE DON'T GO HOME.

MY SUNSHINE BOY. MY SWEET PRECIOUS BOY. I'M SORRY YOU HAD TO SEE THAT.

'These are't the driods you're looking for'

CHEWIEE

Gambling is not good for my sunshine boy.

Han shot first.

Yeah R2 watch your language.

Spy's are everywhere.

Jaba in CGI!! I have the special editions on DVD.

Han is in dedt and will be for a while.

BOBA FETT! BOBA FETT! BOBA FETT! BOBA FETT!

Blast them.

What a peice of junk

dramatic music that turns into a melody.

'Recognised your foal stech when I was brought on board' reminds me of hannibal when he insultes Will's colone.

DANTOOINE!!!!!!!

Bail is obvisoly still alive with Fox and Breha as the heads of the allience.

Oldman thinks friend is dead when he is really off planet with wife banging the oldman's husbands brother who is thought to be dead.

I love Han and his sas.

Obi-wan is probely laughing because Han has the force not luck

Classic Jedi traning.

I'm suprised there is no bodies floating around in the space.

'That's no moon.'

Very bad. I would think so.

Didn't you fight in two wars mr 'alternatives to fighting'

FACT: The meinelimun falcon was built not far from where my mum grew up.

That is a slow lift.

Vader is agitaed - it's funny to see the helemet move this his head but nothing else it sort of boops around.

FACT: David Prowse who is the body of darth vader lived a 20 minute drive from where I live.

Well those compartments were convient.

Han and Luke could have been making out down there - just saying.

On star tours when the driod is going through baggage in the queue, it says TK-421 why aren't you at your post.

Wookies they look cuddly but turns out they are dangerous.

Money, money, money - that is all Han can think about.

Do you think Obi-wan had to learn to sow to get the prefect fiting jedi robes?

I think the mouse droids are cute.

My sunshine boy can't see a thing.

'How are you?' - That whole bit is why I love Han in the origianl trilogoy, Luke is still my favourite.

'Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?'

'I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you.' - Look at this cinimon role!!!! My sunshine boy has seen to much darkness in the world.

Leia is a badass and I love her.

Trach compactor.

LUKE!!!!

It's not that deep is it.

Tell your number to the world - you may need to change it after.

That Poor trooper who hit his head.

Their not dying.

big walking carpet out of my way

I would have fallen off that, that doesn't mean Obi-wan has skill. I'm just very clumsy.

Luke's hair is perfect again and he just happened to bring his clothes with him.

yes spilt up that's always a great plan.

Of course you conviently have a graplaing hook.

Luke is so sweet throught the whole trilogy but is pure cinimon role in ANH.

The classic lightsaber fight.

He just disapreaed.

Vader is probely like WTF where did he go?

'BEN'

RUN LUKE! RUN MY PRECIOUS SUNSHINE BOY!

it's like space invaders with the guns.

That small ship can be a big danger.

Thank you Mads Mikkleson for that weakness.

Should be easy if you have the force and grew up on Tattoine.

Why don't the empire just use hyperspace to get to the rebal base?

I think Luke really considered leaving with Han but decided not to becuase he wanted to help everyone.

Leia is like 'the guy we both like is an idiot'

Luke can suddenly understand binary.

Yavin IV is my dream planet to live on, it's green and has loads of history.

RED 5 - it's the best of course.

Luke is like are you sure?

Uncle Kenobi to the rescue.

Here comes vader.

Tarkin is in denial - I would be gatting out of there if I could.

Vader is picking them off quite quickly.

Luke in the trench run on his own.

'Use the force Luke.'

That music is perfection.

I love the whole score of the movie.

R2!!

This is cutting it close Luke.

Han to the rescue!

Ping Pong with Vader's ship.

What a great shot.

And in the nick of time as well.

Luke honey, my sunshine boy, your twink is showing.

The hug between all 3 of them.

R2 will be fine.

Big event.

Luke is in Han's clothes.

I loev the jacket but it is quite big on my boy, it makes him even cuter.

Where is Luke's briad.

R2 is all shinny.

Chewie is probely complaining about not having a medal.

I love this star wars 9/10.

ESB will be the next on.

Let me know if you want to be tagged when I bring these out.