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bountydroid · 3 days ago

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The Lonely Elf pt 2

Haldir x female!elf!OC

Notes: Sorry this took so long. Im surprised anyone actually wanted a part 2.

TW: Battle? No real descriptions of death or gore.

Word Count: 2,162

"Then I will die as one of them!" Aragorn's angry voice echoed through Helm's Deep. I winced as the men around us took in his words. Before Legolas could respond, Aragorn turned around and retreated from the conversation.

"Let him go lad." Gimli said softly, stopping Legolas from following after his friend. "Let him be."

The mood was dire in Helm's Deep. With each minute the orcs grew closer and the fear deepened in the men's hearts. I found a place to sit quietly, watching the hustle and bustle of preparing men and children. My heart saddened. Was this the end? I failed Bilbo. I told him I would look after Frodo but when he left I chose to go with the others instead. After everything he had done for me, how could I betray him in such a way?

"Bilbo will understand," Gandalf's voice rang in my memory. I confided in him about these feelings on the way to Rohan, but his words did little to comfort me. Tears fell down my cheeks as I wondered about Frodo's well-being. With all my heart I hoped that he and Sam were doing well, that they were safe and warm. I wished I would endure this fight to see them again, but I had little hope. After Legolas and Aragorn's argument, we parted ways, the four of us finding our own corners of the keep to hide in. We all needed to think about our dire situation and process it in our own ways. I chose this time to think about those whom I love. My wonderful family of hobbits, the company dwarves I have barely been able to face since our adventure went dire, and of course Haldir. I choked down a sob as I pulled out the coin Galadriel had given me.

"Let it help you remember what you are fighting for, and what awaits for you when your quest is done," I spoke aloud bitterly before tossing the coin away from me. "What a joke."

The hustle and bustle continued through the night. The women and young children had found shelter in the deepest part of the fortress while the rest of us readied for battle. I did not fail to notice the looks I received from the men of Rohan. They thought I should be with the other women, despite my experience in battle. A bitter taste settled in my mouth as I decided to look for my traveling companions.

"It's a little tight across the chest." I heard Gimli say from behind a door, I slowly opened it and stuck my head around the corner. "There you are, lassie!" He exclaimed happily causing me to smile down at him.

My eyes shifted to Legolas and Aragorn. "You ready to kill some orc?"

Before they could respond, a horn echoed from outside, "That is no orc horn." Legolas said, eyebrows furrowing before rushing out of the room to find the source.

"We come to honor that allegiance." Haldir's soft voice echoed in my ears. Before he could see me I backed up and hid behind one of the men as I held my breath. My heart jumped as I heard Aragorn greet him. "No, he can't be here." I thought to myself. Conflicting emotions filled my body. I was both happy and distraught to see him. How could he throw away his life by coming here? How could he seem so stoic in the face of certain death? I slipped back into Helm's Deep, hoping to find a corner to hide in so I wouldn't have to face him.

The men seemed more hopeful now that we had elves fighting at our side. I knew that our chances were still slim to none, but we had a better chance if the men thought we would live so I didn't say anything to persuade them otherwise.

"The she-elf? She's over there." I heard a man's voice ring out. I held my breath as I peered around the corner to see him talking to Haldir. Haldir's eyes flickered over to me before he looked back at the man. He gave him a small bow and headed in my direction.

I closed my eyes as I let out a long breath to steady my nerves as his footsteps became louder and louder. "Elowen." I heard him say softly as his feet came to a stop.

"Haldir," I responded as I opened my eyes to meet his gaze. Silence filled the air for a couple of minutes before I finally broke it. "Why would lord Elrond send you to die?"

Haldir looked taken aback by my question. "He didn't. I volunteered."

"What?" I questioned as my face twisted up in confusion.

"I volunteered when I heard he was sending troops." He repeated softly as he crouched in front of me.

"Why?" I asked, barely above a whisper.

He met my eyes before answering, "Because you are here."

The tears I had been fighting all this time started to spill out as I gave in to my emotions. I could feel him put his hand on my shoulder massaging it softly as I tried to regain composure. I tightly gripped his arm like I was afraid he would disappear at any moment. He continued to rub my shoulder to comfort me as my crying came to a stop.

I finally met his eyes again, all puffy and red, I wanted to respond somehow but words were failing me, Instead, I opted to throw my arms around his shoulders and bury my face into his neck, letting my actions speak for me.

The night sky grew darker as the soldiers fell into their positions. Aragorn, Haldir, and King Theoden had ordered each person to their designated place. We were as prepared as we could be. I stood next to Legolas and Gimli, picking my nails nervously. I tried my best to stop myself from searching for Haldir. It was for the best that I didn't think about him and his fate. I would only put myself in more danger if I was distracted. I tried to remind myself to have hope, even in the face of certain death. My grim attitude wasn't helpful to anyone. I tried to remind myself of what Gandalf said. "Look to my coming on the first light of the fifth day, at dawn look to the east." Would he be able to save us? I stewed in my thoughts as the torches in the distance came closer. Their footsteps were deafening as our army stayed silent.

"You could have picked a better spot!" Gimli said angrily as he tried to peer over the wall.

I let out a small scoff before turning to face the others, noticing the small smirk on Legolas's face.

"Well lad, by the luck you live by. Let's hope it lasts the night." Gimli said as Aragorn came up behind him startling me.

Where did he come from?

"Your friends are with you Aragorn," Legolas said as he stared at the approaching army.

"Let's hope they last the night," Gimli responded.

"This isn't the end Gimli," I finally broke my silence. "I refuse to die here. There is still so much I want to do."

Aragorn's voice rang out, his deep voice louder than the pouring ran. He walked among the elven archers, encouraging them in their native tongue. The Urukai army finally stopped marching, staring at us from the ground.

"What's happening out there?" Gimli asked while jumping to try and see over the wall.

"Would you like me to describe it to you?" Legolas responded, lightening the mood. "Or would you like me to find you a box?

Gimli's laugh made me smile, but it didn't last long when the Urukai started to bang their spears on the ground, creating a thundering rhythm.

The archers nocked their bows, preparing for Aragorn to say the word and let their arrows fly. As we waited for Aragorn's command a single arrow flew out and hit an Urukai in the neck, causing the army to stop and stare. The battle has started, whether we were ready or not.

I had lost track of how long we were fighting for, but one thing was for sure, we were losing. It was not unexpected as most of us had steeled ourselves for this outcome, but we were still filled with desperation and hope that somehow we would live. The outer defenses had fallen, everything but the main keep had been breached, and it was utter chaos.

"To the keep!" I heard Aragorn yell out, urging our forces to retreat. "Haldir!" He continued to yell in elvish.

My eyes scanned the wall before landing on Haldir's back. A sigh of relief left my body as I started to make my way towards him. I would drag him to the keep if I had to. Before I made it to him I saw him lean down with his hand near his waist. He was hurt. I started to run along the wall as fast as I could, pushing men and Urukai aside while I watched one come up behind him. I realized I would not make it in time, in an act of desperation I pulled out my knife and threw it at the Urukia's head, hoping that nothing would get in its way.

With a bit of luck, it hit its target. A sigh of relief left my body as I continued to run towards Haldir as the dead Urukai fell on top of him. "Haldir," I said as I pulled the dead weight off him. "Let's get you to a healer."

The keep was packed and there was an army banging on the doors. It wouldn't hold for long. I nervously bit my nails as I sat next to Haldir who was being tended to by one of the elvish healers. I watched Aragorn and Theoden argue about something, but I was too far away to hear. Satisfied that Haldir was safe I decided to go to Aragorn to be briefed on the situation. After a single step, I felt a hand grab at my wrist. Startled, I looked down with wide eyes at Haldir's face of desperation.

"Stay," He begged. "There is nothing out there but death."

"Are you regretting coming to my rescue?" I jested, trying to lighten the mood.

He scoffed as he pulled me to the ground next to him. Despite the chaos around us I felt content in the moment, like I was where I needed to be.

In a stroke of luck, Gandalf arrived just in time with the Riders of Rohan at his back. It was no small miracle that we defeated an army so large. After the chaos began to settle down the fellowship was ready to leave and face Saruman in his tower. When Legolas came to collect me I felt conflict in my heart. I looked to Haldir who was now on his feet and delivering orders to the elves. They were getting ready to head back to their homes. Home. My heart tightened at the thought. Like he could feel my eyes on him, Haldir turned to face me only to see Legolas holding my gear.

"Come Elowen, we must go." Legolas' voice rang in my ears.

"Okay," I responded quietly as I took my things from his arms.

"Wait," Haldir said loudly as he maneuvered through the crowded keep. "Come back to Caras Galadhon with me."

Legolas looked between us, "Make your decision quickly, Elowen." He said before leaving us to speak alone.

"I made a promise Haldir. It is important to me that I finish this journey." I responded with uncertainty as he towered over me.

"I do not wish to lose you." He said tenderly as his hand reached for my cheek.

I closed my eyes and leaned into his hand, enjoying the moment. "I must go, but when I am done and the ring is destroyed, I will come find you."

I opened my eyes to see a frown across his face. He hummed quietly as he lovingly rubbed his thumb across my cheek.

"I promise," I said, trying to reassure us both. "But I must go now, they are waiting for me." I turned away from him, trying to hurry to the fellowship before I changed my mind. I let out a small squeak as I felt a hand grab my shoulder and whip me around. Before I could protest I felt Haldir's lips collide harshly into mine. I melted into his body as the kiss became softer and more passionate. My mind went blank as I parted my lips, making way for his tongue to enter my mouth, deepening the kiss. When I finally pulled away he cradled my face as he gently knocked his forehead into mine. "Come home to me." He whispered.

#haldir x oc #haldir x elf!reader #haldir x reader #lotr #lotr fanfic #marchwarden haldir

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bountydroid · 2 months ago

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The Lonely Elf

Haldir x female!elf!OC

Notes: In my LOTR era. This is a self-indulgent story about an OC I've had in my head for a long time. I recently rewatched ROP, The Hobbit, and LOTR (extended version of course) and my love for Haldir has returned. I don't expect anyone to read this.

TW: OC is depressed af. Sort of eating disorder if you squint? Mutual pining (Im a slut for it).

Word count: 5,748

"Will you come to, El?" Frodo's voice echoed in my ears. I felt my chest tighten as I remembered my quest with Bilbo, how it ended, how deeply it affected me. I looked down at the hobbit before kneeling in front of him.

"Of course," I say with a sad smile as I look up to the other companions who have volunteered for this perilous journey. "I wouldn't have it any other way, Frodo."

After retaking Erebor with the dwarves, I found it too difficult to return there. Bilbo knew it, he lost a lot as well. He would never admit how important Thorin was to him and he knew I understood completely. So when he offered me a place in Bag End I couldn't resist. "It is just temporary," I said to him as he smiled up at me. However, temporary for an elf is a lot different than for a hobbit. Sure I traveled here and there, but I always came back. Months turned into years, and years turned into decades and soon Bag End felt like home. Home. That was something I hadn't had in thousands of years.

I remember the village I was raised in and the generations of humans that raised me. I often wondered why, when they found a small elfling, they did not return me to my own kind. It felt selfish of them. I knew nothing of my people, their traditions, their language, I was alone in this world till I ran into a company of dwarves. Bofur warmed up to me almost immediately, he could tell I was different than other elves and before long he had convinced the rest of the company to trust me. Thorin was the last to trust me, but he had good reason. In the end, however, we became extremely close. Two lost souls in Middle Earth searching for a place we belong. During our journey to Erebor, I had started to hope that maybe when we took back the mountain I would have a home again. That dream was shattered when Thorin died. Even though the rest of the company urged me to stay, I couldn't stand the sight of that mountain. So I remained in Bag End, "an honorary Baggins" Bilbo called me. That is why when Frodo asked me to come along I couldn't say no to him. I wouldn't leave this burden to him alone.

"Please look after him," Bilbo said to me after gifting Frodo his old Mithril shirt. "He needs you."

"I will do my best, my dear friend," I said reassuringly as I placed my hand on his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.

The next morning we were off on our journey. In the month between our leaving Rivendell and the death of Gandalf our fellowship had grown quite close. Boromir and the Hobbits were becoming fast friends as he taught Merry and Pippin how to fight. Even Legolas was starting to warm up to Gimli. It made me smile as I remember traveling with Gloin, his father, and getting thrown in the Mirkwood dungeons by that very elf. However, the mood shifted wildly when Mithrandir died. It broke all of our spirits. How could we possibly hope to succeed when the strongest of us had passed? By the time we had entered Lothlórien, we were all exhausted mentally and physically. I could hear Gimli talking somewhere behind me about how dangerous these woods were and the witch that resided in them. I felt nauseous. Whether it was from fear or lack of food, I did not know. I had been in this forest before but never encountered this so-called witch, and I’m not sure I wanted to. When the party came to an abrupt halt I was taken aback. It took a moment for my eyes to focus and see the bows trained on us.

"The dwarf breaths so loud we could have shot him in the dark." An elf said to Aragorn as he stepped out from behind the archers.

It was Haldir. I felt my heart swell in my chest at the sight of him. I listened as Aragorn greeted him in the elven language.

"Aragorn! These woods are perilous. We should go back." Gimli says from behind me, fear evident in his voice.

"You have entered the realm of The Lady of The Wood. You cannot go back." Haldir responds as he looks between each member of our party before his eyes land on Frodo. "Come. She is waiting."

I could feel Frodo's anxiety radiating from behind me. I turned around and gave him a sincere smile. "It's okay Frodo," I whisper as I feel Haldir's gaze on me. I turn to meet his eyes for a second before he turns and slips behind his archers.

We followed close behind, not that we had much choice with the elves surrounding our party, and we marched until we came across a small structure and a platform that we were urged to climb upon. By the time we made it there, the sun had set and the cold had set in. I couldn't help the small shiver that ran through my body. I stood quietly next to Gimli as Haldir greeted Legolas and Aragorn in elvish.

Gimli interrupts angrily. "So much for the courtesy of the elves. Speak words we can all understand.

I gave Gimli's foot a soft, disapproving kick at his rudeness. Haldir looked down at Gimli before saying in a disgusted tone, "We have not had dealings with the dwarves since the dark days."

"And you know what this dwarf has to say about that?" Gimli responded quickly before saying in dwarvish, "Ishkhaqwi ai durugnul!"

I close my eyes as I run my hand over my face in annoyance as Aragorn addresses Gimli angrily, "That was not so courteous!"

The marchwarden looks over our party again before meeting eyes with Frodo, "You bring great evil with you." He says with a grave tone. "You can go no further."

However, Aragorn refused to accept this as he pulled Haldir aside and began to argue. If Aragorn was unsuccessful what would we do? We needed food, rest, and safety. This was our only option. I looked over at Haldir and the annoyed expression on his face as he argued with Aragorn. Like he could tell I was watching, his eyes flickered over to me. His face softened when he noticed my forlorn expression but soon his attention returned to Aragorn. I turned away sighing before walking over to Gimli.

The memory of our first meeting slipped into my mind as I stood in silence.

I was outnumbered. Dozens of orcs had caught my scent and I was out of arrows. I could see the Lothlórien forest in front of me and it was my only chance of survival. I tried my best to keep from tripping over roots and rocks as I ran through the glistening forest. I didn't have time to revel in the beauty mixed into the trees. The magic of the forest was the least of my concerns with the orc pack gaining on me.

I made a split decision to call out, in hopes I wasn't alone. "HELP!" I yell out as I continue to run blindly. Barely a second later I feel an arrow whiz past my face and the yell of an injured orc behind me. When did they get so close? Before long a handful of elves came out of the woods, easily slaughtering my attackers and then they brought their attention to me. I was a stranger to them, a threat.

An elf strode up to me with a serious expression saying something in elvish. I made a sheepish face before I explained, "I don't speak elvish." Disbelief washed across his face as he looked me up and down.

"He doesn't speak the common tongue." Another elf says from behind me. "I am Haldir, who are you and why are you in our sacred lands?"

"I am Elowen. I am sorry to enter your territory without permission I had no other choice. I can leave now if you wish." I respond.

He hums for a moment as he stares into my eyes. “What kind of elf doesn't speak elvish?” His voice was thick with disbelief. He thinks I am lying.

I sighed, my body deflating at the accusation. I was used to being treated like an outsider, but never a liar. "I was raised by humans, not elves," I say with an exasperated tone. “I know it is strange but it is the truth."

Haldir looked between my eyes for a moment, his expression was softer than it was before. “You cannot go the way you came. There are more orcs in the territory." He explained, "You will have to go to the East."

"Thank you. I will be on my way." I say before turning my back towards him, but before I can realize what is happening a hand grasps my pack and pulls me back.

"You will not go wandering these sacred forests alone." He says sternly as he holds onto my pack tightly. "I will escort you."

I gasped in surprise, “As you wish," I quickly mutter.

He tentatively lets go of me before walking in front of me, "Come."

I quickly do as I am told. The last thing I want to do is anger my guide. While we walk I study him from behind. He is calm, confident, and knows the forest well. He gracefully moves around any branches and roots jutting into the path ahead. He is beautiful like elves should be.

"Can I ask you a question?" He asks, breaking the silence.

"Of course," I respond, surprised that he is speaking to me.

"Why did you never learn elvish? Some humans know it." He asks as he looks over his shoulder.

I think over his question for a minute. I haven't ever really thought about why. "I guess -" I start. "I guess I didn't feel worthy."

This causes him to stop in his tracks before turning around to face me. "You should learn." He says. He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. The underlying message was not lost on me. You are wrong.

The rest of the hike was relatively quiet, but the birds singing kept you company as you walked close behind your guide. The sun did not shine through the treetops making it impossible to know just how long we had been hiking. It didn’t matter to me. I was grateful for the company, even if he was silent. His presence was enough. It was at this moment that I realized just how lonely I was.

"Here." He says quietly as we reach the end of the forest. He turns to face me once again as I stare up at him.

"Oh," I said quietly, sad that our journey had ended already. "Thank you, Haldir."

He puts his hand on his chest and gives a small bow, "Go now and be safe." He says with a small smile before turning to walk away.

Before long he disappeared into the woods, and I never thought I would see him again.

"Did you have to insult him?" I asked Gimli, but before he could respond we heard Haldir's voice.

"You will follow me," He said while staring at Frodo. I couldn't help the sigh of relief that left my body.

We were safe. He explained that he was leading us to Caras Galadhon and once it was in sight it was the most beautiful place I had ever seen.

I gasped at the sight of the wooded city. "It's beautiful," I murmured.

"Indeed," Haldir responded looking at me out of the corner of his eye.

I felt my ears redden at him finally speaking to me. "Pathetic." I thought to myself.

As we entered the city I couldn't help the starstruck look on my face. Everywhere I looked was full of beauty, sparking silver buildings nestled among large trees. I felt the tension in the air as I walked side-by-side with Haldir.

"Do you remember me?" The question that had been burning in the back of my throat broke free.

He let out a small chuckle as he looked at my embarrassed expression. "How could I forget?" He responded with a teasing tone.

I smiled shyly in response before looking down at my feet. He remembers me.

We made it to the top of the forest to see an elven couple waiting for us. They gracefully made their way down the steps hand-in-hand as they looked down upon the company. I nervously glanced over at Aragorn, who was giving our hosts his full attention as he bowed his head. They seemed to almost glow, which reminded me of something Haldir said on our way here, "Lady of Light indeed." I thought to myself.

"The enemy knows you have entered here." The male elf spoke. "What hope you had in secrecy is now gone." He paused to look over our company before continuing. "Nine that are here, but ten set out from Rivendell. Tell me, where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him. I can no longer see him from afar."

I winced at the mention of Gandalf's name. In the beauty of Caras Galadhon, I had almost forgotten our loss. We stayed quiet, none of us wanting to speak the truth of Mithrandir's whereabouts.

"He has fallen into shadow." The Lady of Light spoke with a look of disbelief on her face.

"He was taken by both shadow and flame," Legolas responded. "A Balrog of Morgoth. For we went needlessly into the net of Moria."

"Needless were none of the deeds of Gandalf in life. We do not yet know his full purpose." The lady responded with a comforting tone as she looked at Gimli. "Do not let the great emptiness of Khazad Dum fill your heart Gimli, son of Gloin, for all lands have now grown full of peril. And in all lands love, is now mingled with grief."

I could hear Boromir whimpering in despair as she stared him down. I did not understand till I heard her voice in my head as well.

"Elowen, the lonely elf, for I have heard much about you. Gandalf was very fond of you. You are welcome here." I heard her whisper in my head.

"What now becomes of this fellowship? Without Gandalf, hope is lost." The lord said. We had all thought it, but he was the first to say it out loud.

"The quest stands upon an end of a knife, stray but a little and it will fail, to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains as long as company is true. Do not let your hearts be troubled. Go now and rest for you are weary with sorrow and much toil. Tonight, you will sleep in peace." The lady said, distracting us from her husband's question.

The promise of sleep in safety felt like something to cherish, something we were likely not to get again. I let my body relax at her words. I was grateful for her hospitality. The lady motioned to Haldir, who gave her a bow before beckoning us to follow him. We obeyed quickly, anxious to get some rest.

"You will have the opportunity to bathe as well as fresh clothing while you are here," Haldir explained as he led us to a clearing. "I will be watching over you tonight."

My traveling companions were quick to explore our new sleeping arrangements, taking in the beauty of the forest. I stayed behind, quietly standing next to Haldir as I watched the halflings excitedly look around.

"You said something about a bath?" I asked while looking over at the elf next to me. "I can't imagine we smell good," I said offering a smile.

"For your sake, I will not respond to that," He said smiling back. "Come." I let out a small giggle as I obeyed, following close behind him as we traversed on the winding paths. Eventually, we came upon a small grove, hidden by trees, and inside it lay a glistening pool of crystal clear water with a small waterfall emptying into it.

"Wow," I whispered as I took in the view.

"Fresh clothes will be brought to you," Haldir explained before bowing slightly and taking his leave.

Once he was gone I quickly started to shed off my clothing. The layers of leather armor became exhausting by the time I was fully rid of them. I folded my clothes nicely before placing them alongside the pool. I nervously dipped in a toe before realizing the water was warm. I let out a sigh of relief and I slipped my body into the welcoming water, closing my eyes as I rested against a rock. It wasn’t long till I fell asleep.

I was startled awake by the feeling of a hand on my shoulder. I looked up bewildered to see a she-elf in front of me. She gave me an apologetic look before explaining, “It is dangerous to sleep in the pool. Here I brought you fresh clothing.” She said as she motioned to a pile of white cloth.

“You have my thanks,” I responded sheepishly as she bowed and turned around to gather my old clothing. “The marchwarden has instructed us to clean these for you. Is there anything you will need for tonight?” She asked.

“No there is not,” I said. “I appreciate all you have done.”

She offered a smile before turning and disappearing, allowing me to dry off and change into the fresh clothing she had brought for me. Once dry and changed I returned to our camp for the night.

“You smell good,” Pippin said excitedly as I sat down next to my pack.

“You could too you know.” I jested, “You all smell horrible.”

“Hey now!” He responded feigning injury, “This is the smell of a REAL man!”

I let out a boisterous laugh as the hobbit flexed his muscles. We bantered for a little while longer till I could hardly keep my eyes open. I cuddled up against my pack as I fell asleep to the sound of singing elves. Legolas had said they were singing to honor the memory of Gandalf. It was beautiful.

"El, wake up," Merry said as he shook me awake. "It's breakfast time!"

I groaned as I turned away from him, "I'll eat later."

"Oh no you don't," Merry responded willfully as he shook me again.

"Fine!" I said crankily as I finally sat up and rubbed my eyes. "Someday I will be free of the stubbornness of hobbits."

As I opened my eyes I realized that the rest of the fellowship had bathed and changed as well. Everyone wore beautiful white clothing, untouched by the darkness of our journey. I followed behind the group, falling behind as my eyes drifted everywhere but the path in front of us. I didn't want food, I wanted to explore this beautiful place. I couldn't help but feel a pang of anger in my heart as I remembered all that was taken from me as a child, I could've lived my whole life in a place like Calas Galadhon. The thoughts did not leave me as we sat at the breakfast table, the noise of my companions talking and eating fading into the background as I stared at my plate. I had not eaten in some time, but I could not bring myself to take a single bite. I felt dirty, like if I touched it I would ruin it. Like I didn't deserve it. The thought brought me back to that hike with Haldir when I said I was not worthy of learning elvish. I remember the implications of his response. I was worthy of elvish, and I was worthy of this food. Everyone else had almost finished their plates by the time I took my first tentative bite.

When we had finished we were brought back to our camp by Haldir. Even on the way back from breakfast, Pippin was already asking about a second breakfast. I couldn't help but giggle at the confused expression on Haldir's face.

"There will be festivities later to honor Mithrandir, you are all welcome to come." He explains as we enter our camp.

"Thank you," Aragorn replies with his hand over his heart. "We would be most grateful to attend."

To this, Haldir nods and starts to turn away but before he can get far I grab ahold of his arm. He flinched at the sudden contact and turned to me with wide eyes. I quickly pull my hand back and bring it to my chest like I had touched a burning flame. "I am so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

'It is fine," Haldir responds with an unconvincing look on his face. "What do you need?"

“I-“I mutter out, “I was wondering if I could wander Caras Galadhon, or if someone could be my guide? I would very much like to see this magnificent place.”

He does not respond immediately, causing anxiety to settle into my heart. “Forget it,” I say quickly as I turn away.

“Wait,” Haldir called out. “I will guide you.”

“Oh.” I responded quietly before turning around, “I’m sure a marchwarden has much better things to do.”

To this, he gave me a small smile. “No, I don’t. Now please.” He said as he motioned me to follow him.

I did as I was bid, following close behind the elf as he led me through the city. He told me everything I wanted to know, anticipating my questions before I asked them. The history of Calas Galadhon was vast and complicated but quite interesting as well. He also told me much about Lady Galadriel, the Lady of Light. I spoke to him about how I heard her in my head and he confirmed, “Yes, that is part of her magic.”

“It’s quite unnerving,” I mumble. “But she is kind.”

We continued along the path, passing many elves along the way as they went about their daily life. I wondered what it would be like to live here. What would I spend my days doing?

After some time we made it back to camp. I did little to hide my disappointment as the fellowship came into view.

“If you are unhappy you don’t need to continue the journey,” Haldir said as he scanned my face.

“It’s not that. I just-“ I paused. “I enjoyed exploring here.” I respond honestly, “I wonder what my life would be like if I grew up in a place like this.”

He nodded silently, not taking his eyes off of mine. “I understand as much as I can.”

“Thank you for a wonderful day, Haldir,” I say as I give him a small smile. I reach my hand out but stop myself before I touch him, remembering his reaction last time. My ears reddened as I realized what I was doing. I quickly dropped my hand back to my side and scurried toward my companions.

As I met back with the fellowship Aragorn gave me a knowing look. “Boromir will be disappointed.” He whispers to me.

“What?” I ask as I stand above his sitting form.

“He fancies you, but your heart belongs to another.” He said smirking up at me.

I scoff, trying to play off his words, but my face betrays me as it heats up from embarrassment.

The rest of the day was relatively quiet as we readied for the night festivities. We were told there would be wine and dancing. I smiled as I thought about how much Gandalf would have enjoyed participating in such a party.

“All they need is some Old Toby,” Frodo said. “That was his favorite.”

At his words, I felt a tug at my heart. Another loss. Is this what I was doomed to experience? Thorin, Gandalf, who was next? This quest was bound to take more lives. Likely my own as well. I tried not to allow my feelings to ruin the night for me. The festivities were beautiful. Lights were strung through the sparking trees and candles were lit around the space. The elves looked beautiful in their beaded gowns and dress shirts.

“You are not dancing?” Boromir asks as he walks up next to me. He wanted me to dance with him. For a second I thought about it, but then I remembered Aragorn’s teasing words.

“Not in the dancing mood,” I respond, giving him a sheepish smile as I grasp harder at my wine chalice.

“Of course. I am sorry for your loss,” Boromir says putting a hand on my shoulder. “I understand you were close.”

I hummed in agreement as I kept my eyes trained forward, afraid that if I acknowledged his words I would cry. As my eyes scanned the room I came across one particular elf. Haldir. He was standing guard to the occasion, restlessly pacing along the outside of the crowd.

“Excuse me,” I say quickly to Boromir before wading through the partygoers to get more wine. My hands shake as I try to fill my chalice without spilling. While Boromir’s words were not ill-willed, they still affected me deeply.

My eyes wander back to Haldir’s anxious form. Surely no danger was posed here but there he was. He was a serious elf, anyone could tell that. I smiled to myself as I watched him reprimand another guard for drinking. I gathered enough courage to head his way. I wished to speak to him. I always wished to speak to him. His eyes met mine as he watched me climb the steps to reach him.

“It’s a party you know,” I say teasingly once I was planted in front of him.

He smiles slightly as he looks down at me. “Then why are you here?” He asks.

“I’m not really in a celebratory mood,” I admit.

The smile fades from his face as he takes in my words.

“Could I head back to camp? Or do I need an escort for that?” I ask. I had hoped he would offer to escort me, but my wishes would go unfulfilled.

“You may find your way back on your own,” Haldir responds. While his answer was disappointing, the tone of his voice was not. It was as soft as freshly fallen snow like he thought if he spoke too strongly I would break.

“Thank you,” I say graciously as I give him a small bow before taking my leave.

I take my time as I make my way back to camp with my wine glass in hand. There was no rush to return. Truthfully I just wanted to be away from the happy faces. Would they even know I left?

“Elowen.” Boromir’s voice woke me from my trance.

“Why are you here?” I ask him with a disoriented look on my face.

“I am worried about you.” He responds as he takes a step towards me, putting his hand on my shoulder. “I care about you.” He says quietly as he moves his hand from his shoulder to my cheek.

In that moment I realized there is only one soul I wish to touch me in such a way. I pulled away abruptly at his touch. “My heart belongs to another,” I say in a panicked tone as I look around to see if anyone was around. “I am sorry.” I blurt out before dropping my chalice and running quickly down the path. I was no longer heading towards camp, afraid I would encounter Boromir there. I did care about him just not in the way he wanted. However, I was not only running from him but from the realization of my feelings for Haldir.

In my dazed state I quickly got turned around. The panic inside me grew as I realized I didn’t recognize my surroundings. “Did Haldir bring me here?” I questioned myself as I tried to remember earlier that day with no luck. Eventually, I gave up and sat on the ground next to the path. Letting the tears of my pent-up emotions rain down my face. Gandalf, Boromir, Haldir, it was all too much. I knew eventually someone would find me and help me get back to camp, but for now, I was grateful to be alone so I could cry without prying eyes.

Hours passed before I saw another soul along the pass. A startled she-elf stared down at me, clearly unsure what to do.

“I apologize,” I said with a scratchy voice. “I am horribly lost.”

The elf just stared back at me a bewildered expression causing me to sigh. She did not know the common tongue. I slowly got up from the ground and walked passed her. I thought I was heading in the direction I came from, but truthfully I had no idea where I was.

“Elowen.” I heard a melodic voice in my head. “You needn’t strife.”

Galadriel.

“I am lost,” I say quietly, unsure if she could hear me.

“But that is not why you cry.” She responded knowingly. “You will not be alone forever.”

I started rubbing my eyes, cursing my emotional state as I heard footsteps approaching. I looked up from my hands, expecting Galadriel, but instead came face-to-face with Haldir’s concerned expression.

“Oh,” I sniffle.

He said nothing, instead opting to reach out and gently grab my hand. My eyes widened, shocked by his touch as he started to guide me. He remained silent as we wove along the trail, never letting go of my hand.

“How did you know where I was?” I asked quietly as we entered the camp.

He turned to look at me, quiet for a moment before responding “Lady Galadriel.”

“Oh,” I said quietly. My exhaustion was written across my face.

“Rest now,” Haldir utters as he places a small kiss on my forehead. Before I could even process what he had done he was gone. I stood in place as the feeling of his lips lingered on my skin.

After some time had passed, we finally had to leave Lothlórien. We were all dreading it. We had spent weeks in the comfortable presence of elves, and in those weeks I never saw Haldir again. Galadriel, as kind as she was, would not let us leave without making sure we had everything we needed to succeed. Food, water, and supplies filled our small packs as we changed back into our old clothing. Once we were ready we made our way to the riverbank to say our final farewells and be off on our treacherous journey.

We stood in a line as Lord Celeborn spoke. "Never before have we clad strangers in the garb of our own people." I tried to listen to him speak pretending to not be distracted by Haldir's fingers securing a cloak around my shoulders. "May these cloaks help shield you from unfriendly eyes." He continued as I kept my eyes down, avoiding Haldir’s. “Of course he had to be here.” I thought to myself as embarrassment took me.

While we packed up our boats Aragorn was pulled aside by Lord Celeborn. While we waited for his return I chose to focus on making sure the halflings had everything they needed.

"He's looking at you," Sam said to me as I straightened his pack.

"I know," I sighed before looking back to meet Haldir's eyes. I was surprised to see an almost pleading look on his face.

"Well, aren't you gonna say goodbye?" Sam asked.

I hummed quietly as I mulled over my options, as much as I was heartbroken by the lack of his presence, the look on Haldir’s face made it impossible to stay away. I stood up as Sam grinned at me. "Meddling hobbits,” I said, feigning annoyance before walking over to Haldir.

"Thank you for your kindness, Haldir," I said quietly as I stood in front of him.

"I-" He started before stopping himself. "Be safe." He finally said.

I looked up to meet his eyes, they mirrored the sadness in my own. "Do not fret,” I say as I lay my hand softly on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. He had avoided me for weeks, but all my annoyance had been washed away by the forlorn expression he sported. I had come to expect the downfall of our quest now that we were without Gandalf, but I tried to comfort him nonetheless.

Before he could respond I heard Boromir call out, "El! The Lady Galadriel wishes to see us once more before we head on."

I step back as reality comes back into focus, giving Haldir a sad smile and a small bow before I head towards Boromir and the rest of my companions.

We waited turns to see the Lady of Light, each fellowship member coming back with gifts to help on the rest of the journey. "And to you, Elowen, I give you the gift of remembrance," Galadriel explains as she hands me a small coin. "This is a gift given to our marchwardens when they have completed their training. Let it help you remember what you are fighting for, and what awaits for you when your quest is done."

Haldir. Does she know something I do not? "Thank you, Lady Galadriel," I mumble as I bow my head.

Once the entire fellowship had received their gifts we piled into our small boats in silence, our heads swirling with the words Galadriel had spoken to each of us. Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel waited at the shore as we left the magical forest behind us, but the rest of the elves had disappeared. There was a sad tug at my heart as I peered into the forest looking for any sign of Haldir.

I wished to see him one last time.

#haldir x oc #haldir x elf!reader #haldir x reader #lotr #lotr fanfic #marchwarden haldir

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