#my feet still hurt so bad
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just went on a run
not feeling good
#I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN#quitting the running team unironically#HELLPPP#wait wtf my dogs are wrestling rn#or my aunt's dog and my dog#i dunno who's winning#i think#neither#they stopped#anyways#my aunt's dog is staying over at our house and she has bullied the cat to the point where the cat literally won't leave upstairs#so#yeah#my feet still hurt so bad#junoyapsstuffs
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TIL "Lay On Hands" is a paladin healing skill and I am blessed by this knowledge.
#moe talks a lot#oops i fell in love#cleric!right is forever funny to me because yeah its incredibly fitting for him to crave the power to heal#since he personally is so damaged and refuses to hurt others even in a game#but also he has such a foul mouth and you cannot remove that part of him ever#hes going to yell obscenities before he heals someone#like the joke of YOU HAVE UNO IT CAME WITH YOUR XBOX#is now YOU HAVE HEALING IT COMES WITH THE PALADIN#and then he just goes and heals karen while paul is like hey thats mean what if i want to bond with you :c#why wont you ever heal ME right i wanna be healed by you ! shes missing like 2hp what about healing my 10hp#again i have zero dnd exp and i am only learning from asking buddies who play it cause google sucks#i say that bc i tried googling something about clerics and it gave answers i didnt want to questions i didnt ask#anyway time to go perish personally im in so much pain and im v tired#for the record bc i know some people have expressed concerns in the past that im pushing myself too much to draw daily#its mostly my legs n feet that hurt constantly after work#my hand is still fine and while i do have some weird bruising on my arms (a mystery!) bc i bruise easily#its not me pushing through the hand pain or something bad like that its just i ache a lot
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remember when a while back i said i'm not physically disabled but standing up for extended periods hurts me and more than one person contacted me to let me know that i may be physically disabled and i was like yeah probably not tho
starting to think maybe there was something to that because today after work one of my colleagues said she was considering walking 6 km home and i was like cool, every step feels like walking on knives
#granted she's worked there for six years and i a week#and my shoes are probably not the best#but still#after a day of mostly standing and walking my feet hurt so. bad.#mine
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"Even if the sky cracks in mourning / And the heavens just won't open up for me" A Series of Small Offerings - II/12 - day20
#a series of small offerings#sleep token fanart#elaboration on this piece further down in the tags because this one may confuse people i think#(also please note that i firmly believe that the from the room below version of this song is the superior one)#(so the art was made with that version in mind because that is the version that lives rent free in my brain for reasons)#i've been thinking so much how to approach this one.. i knew pretty much since i've made the challenge that i will go with this line#specifically because i refuse to hear it as the lyrics sites and spotify tells me to hear it (as it appears in the post) but instead#i don't hear the 'the' in any version of the song i'm sorry that is just not there#so i'm convinced it is 'as the sky cracks in mourning'#(sky cracking-lightning;sky mourning-rain)#which is also exactly how the song feels to me#being a sad wet cat of a person standing bare feet in a strom and just crying 'why i was i so blind to my own hubris'#specifically in relation of finally (and far too late) understanding you fucked up a relationship so bad it still hurts years after#if you've ever felt anything remotely similar you know what i'm talking about#and you get why i refuse it being 'in the morning' instead of 'in mourning'#vessel i#vessel#vessel sleep token#vessel fanart#sleep token band#sleeptoken#levynn tries to draw#sleep token#edit: i don't mean to offend those who stand behind the line being 'in the morning' btw i just don't hear it#and i don't think i'm correct. i'm correct for me. not in your stead. half the lyrics can be heard at least two ways#edit2: appearently i'm actually right about something for a change.. a truly unusual turn of events#see comments for referrence pls#also edited this post to the correct lyrics#but leaving the tags for context 'cause thw original version of the post has been rb-d before editing i think
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fuck doc martens im never spending this much money on trash shoes again nothing but pain i swear to you . everyone give up on the docs im sick of it
#ive had these for over a year n theyre never comfortable#my last pair was a little better bc they were too big (they dont do half sizes so fuck off for that also)#but i had to wear 2 pairs of socks w them. bc too big.#now these ones just hurt like hell esp on my bad leg like my knee gets all terrible n they cut my ankles up#even the bigger ones that were a little more comfortable still left me with scars on my feet bc theyre fucking awfulllll#im sneakerpilled now i cant be fucking bothered.
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girls after an average shift
#CANT FEEL MY LEGS 🧍🏻♀️#tbh i get bad joints sometimes like not awful it is just a little achey bc my mum’s arthritis genetics Got Me#and i woke up this morning and immediately was like. oh. this is gonna be bad isn’t it#and then clocked a 9 hour shift that literally didn’t have a single slow down#like when I tell you we were slammed off our feet from the moment I walked through the DOOR#and it was just a perpetual rush from that moment on. like i haven’t stopped. close was MIDNIGHT#my legs hurt so bad I feel like there’s metal in my knees. i feel like i need oiling#I’m sweaty and gross and tired and achey and I have another close shift TOMORROW#but it’s agricultural show weekend (hence the business) so a load of the waitresses ‘snuck’ outside (we pretend to clear glasses from the#outdoor tables) to watch the fireworks and it was pretty cute. like no matter how shit my job or shift is i do still love most of my#colleagues and we always have a proper laugh together. small victories#AND I GET PAID TODAY LETS GOOOOOOO#hella slaves to capitalism
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i am hoping to never have to get another colonoscopy again (until i’m old enough to need to get them etc etc) but tbh i would very much like to experience the relief and comfort i felt when i woke up, was able to eat a warm meal (meatloaf + mashed potatoes, perfect comfort food (and it being soft was great bc i had had a endoscopy and broncoscopy done too so my throat was SORE)) for the first time in over 24 hours, got to wear super comfy anti-blood-clot compression boots, was on regular doses of IV tylenol and therefore the most pain free i had been in ages, and then got to sleep for the rest of the day. AND there was the joy of being told i didn’t have crohn’s. it was solid
#marzi speaks#the colonoscopy prep SUCKED and i never wanna do that shit again#4 liters of shit yourself juice that tastes like saltwater#(plus a couple extra cups of miralax bc i had been on a muscle relaxer specifically meant to get my intestines to move slower)#plus all the walking back and forth to the bathroom ended up causing so much blood to leak into the soles of my feet#that not only was i basically walking on bruises that were only getting worse#but my swollen blood vessels had started to pinch my nerves which put me in the worst pain i have ever been in in my LIFE#genuinely i was getting delirious from the amount of pain i was in. brain entered full panic mode it hurt so fucking bad#thankfully my dad was there and got them to get me a dose of morphine. which was VERY pleasant#and made me immediately understand the dangers of opiates#bc i had one dose months ago and if i was offered another. i wouldn’t take it but i would lowkey want to#morphine felt Great . killed the nerve pain and while my feet were still sore i no longer cared. it was beautiful#ANYWAYS i don’t miss being hospitalized and scared but i do miss the sheer level of comfort i felt right after that operation#i was so tired and i knew the worst of it was over now so it was just. pure relief. i melted. fell asleep and stayed asleep mostly
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dude im being so brave rn
#logbook#cleaning out the fridgeeee lets fucking gooooo. oof.#doing it while the housemates are gone for various reasons but mostly so i can toss out the trash b4 they get back#planning to make my bed. then do plant chores after this.#ive given up on leaving the house this weekend which is fine bc leaving the house really becomes a several hours time.#like living up and out of the city and needing to get to the city on days im off? boo. just let me stay up here.#i got in my old person porch time this morning. played games and experienced the birds at my feet.#the fact that im not hurting so bad today is a win esp since tmrw im back at work and will just be hurting all over again#i'll just plan for errands after work instead and let myself clean the house which has been stressing me out sooo much lol#also i got new sweatpants and they are legit the cosiest ones. they top my other cozy pair. wild.#dude icb its nov. . .so much going on rn im truly distancing myself from all my life shit to clean house. literally.#work has been so shit every fucking day idk if i can do this anymore tbh#anyways no matter. im alive and still existing in case anyone was wondering.#i hope everyone and their plants and creatures are doing ok. mwah.
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I’m gonna kill him.
#ra speaks#personal#little brother *spends three hours helping a family friend* I wasn’t home all day how dare you accuse me of not doing the things I dint do#actually you’re the lady one who’s home all day doing NOTHING#me: o.o you wanna say that again shrimp? you wanna say that and not run out the door to a thing you should have done hours ago?#I think he regretted it the second he said it. by his tone. but still.#my little sister calling me lazy bc my feet hurt so I do sitting work 🤝 my little bro saying I do nothing all day surrounded by my thesis#having a bad one yall
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Scientists: want so badly for adult children who are friends with and/or still dependant on parents for money or a roof to be Bad that they are intentionally looking for detriment in the study results
Study results: so overwhelmingly positive they can't actually find the data needed to twist the narrative
Scientists: >:|
#i read an article#the article was pro kid/parent friendship and dependance bc MANY studies have shown that's beneficial to both sides#but people want SO BADLY to believe the fiction of Independence and it's necessarity that they think parents who still#care about and frequently talk to their grown kids are causing codependency and setting them up for failure and like#not inherently#living with my mother was super beneficial and i still would be if he wasn't anti ever living in MO again and i anti livinf in TX until#it's again a state i can comfortably live in as a trans person#like if i lived with my dad and step mom there'd be reason to question bc while he's gotten better she's just as bad#and expects me to sit down and take emotional abuse and revisionist history from my father's memories of abusive days#whereas dad will thank me for calling him out once he gets over the understandable moment of hurt in realizing what he thoughr was helping#one of his kids was actually hugely painful and detrimental#but also me asking my father for money isn't a danger to my independence it's a sign of the failure of the system#it's not a ''failure to launch'' it's a 'the system and economy are so broken it is literally impossible to get on your feet on your own'#like come off it#look at other societies and multigenerational homes#are they suffering for it? no! then why would we be????#like if you raise a child and all but evict them from your life when they're 18 then like. do you actually love them? do you actually care?#or did you feel like children was an obligation and now it's over and they only matter for holidays and birthdays?#bc the latter is much more of an issue than adult kids '''''boomeranging''''''
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So based on a true story (then I went to my car and cried because someone apologized to me).
I thought I vented and whined in tags but I don't see them and I'm too tired to type it all out. Just know a few days ago I tried to avoid being in customer pathing, a customer then backed up to let another customer have some space, aaaaand the backing up happened right into my trolley at work. He then made a comment about how it was painful and I needed to be more careful. Today he apologized and said he felt bad enough about it even if I didn't remember him (I very much remember the incident but my facial recognition is in the negatives).
#my characters#oops i fell in love#anyway wow dang woah the apology was genuine and he didnt need to apologize#and i feel bad that i dont recognize him and if i see him again i still wont know its him#but like it meant SO much to me that he remembered me and apologized#cause i have clipped my own heels and ran over my own feet with the trolley so many times#it really does hurt! so i was concerned for oh no what if i clipped his heel or or or#but he just. apologized to me and i was definitely tearing up when i said thank you and i appreciated hearing it#and i dont like that he probably went home to his wife and was like oh i apologized and made the kid cry#its been a real rough week sir and that kindness was unexpected and i greatly and humbly appreciate you#so in honor of not hurting someone take my anxiety oc who is terrified hes gonna hurt someone#being told hey sorry you didnt hurt me and i overreacted bc he fucking deserves that much#i say completely biased bc i definitely needed that today#and since i needed it then my son oc guy needs it
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-_- good morning
#hell on earth. horrible dreams sthat make me feel so slimy snd gross.#i meed 2 get up and do things and maybe like.b#blast music in my ears until i go deaf#but alas i am. sitting here miserably staring at the ceiling bc my back and feet and knees still hurt like fuck#i hate it here so bad.#if i dont work on artfight today you guys sre allowed to shoot me directly in yhe head
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Yall i've spent the past 6 hours making a (nearly) to scale bonnethead shark sculpture. Also I have to wake up for school in 5 hours
#2ND LAYER AND BACK FINS TOMORROW ‼️#my back hurts so bad#I also didn't do my homework so now im speedrunning it#but Im super excited and am really enjoying working on her#also I watched The Shining for the 1st time while working on this#neat movie! gonna read the book when I get the chance#also I say nearly to scale cause shes 22 inches long and bonnetheads tend to be between 2-4 feet#so shes just a bit smaller then average but still in range#rambles#wowie look at that
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Gonna try going to work without taking an advil beforehand for the first time today… pray for me..
#it’s full time.. I’ve been working here like a month and a week#i feel like… maybe I might have built up enough muscle by now to be able to take it#cuz I really. I need to ween myself off the ‘taking an advil almost every day’ thing it’s not healthy ghgh#but also… uhhh my feet r gonna hurt#I can handle it tho… I believe in myself.. and if it gets rlly bad I can still take an advil on my#lunch break#but I dONT WANT. to have to do that… cuz I want.. to treat my organs nicely#so yeah… please send thoughts and prayers ghghgh-#pepper words
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hi good afternoon im gonna play video games and daydream about a time i will never have to clean again
#im so tired and my feet hurt so bad#this damn house is a depression nest#it's still not completely clean but i'm done for today#lext post
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BELLUM. *flops myself down unto the dash like a wet trout* salutations brethren
#is that a fucking gremlin ?? ( OOC. )#(( work almost killed me my feet and my bad foot in particular hurt SO bad#still got two more days to go before I get two days off ; motherfuckin six days in a row I hate it heeeeere !!!!!#but um hi hey hi how u doin cuties what's the word ))
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