#im so tired and my feet hurt so bad
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hi good afternoon im gonna play video games and daydream about a time i will never have to clean again
#im so tired and my feet hurt so bad#this damn house is a depression nest#it's still not completely clean but i'm done for today#lext post
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TIL "Lay On Hands" is a paladin healing skill and I am blessed by this knowledge.
#moe talks a lot#oops i fell in love#cleric!right is forever funny to me because yeah its incredibly fitting for him to crave the power to heal#since he personally is so damaged and refuses to hurt others even in a game#but also he has such a foul mouth and you cannot remove that part of him ever#hes going to yell obscenities before he heals someone#like the joke of YOU HAVE UNO IT CAME WITH YOUR XBOX#is now YOU HAVE HEALING IT COMES WITH THE PALADIN#and then he just goes and heals karen while paul is like hey thats mean what if i want to bond with you :c#why wont you ever heal ME right i wanna be healed by you ! shes missing like 2hp what about healing my 10hp#again i have zero dnd exp and i am only learning from asking buddies who play it cause google sucks#i say that bc i tried googling something about clerics and it gave answers i didnt want to questions i didnt ask#anyway time to go perish personally im in so much pain and im v tired#for the record bc i know some people have expressed concerns in the past that im pushing myself too much to draw daily#its mostly my legs n feet that hurt constantly after work#my hand is still fine and while i do have some weird bruising on my arms (a mystery!) bc i bruise easily#its not me pushing through the hand pain or something bad like that its just i ache a lot
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i love travelling with deutsche bahn because you actually pay money for your seat reservation and expect the seat to be free but no! you still end up sitting on the fucking floor 😋👍🏻
#they double booked the train and now part of the reservations aren't valid anymore. mine included.#i want to kill myself fr like my feet hurt so bad and im tired as shit why do i give this fucking company my money to sit on the floor
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It’s weird. I don’t normally cuddle with my other plushies (despite having 20 of ‘em) after the first day or so, even when I’m sick or hurt to the point where i basically have to be on bed rest, and yet. For some reason cuddling the ouaw plushes make me feel better. These little guys did not leave my arms when I was sick, and I keep alternating between Frost and Torbek right now (if not both, depending on my position and how I’m feeling)
I mean, they don’t make the pain go away, but they make it a bit more bearable. Until my grandma comes back with my pain meds, at least
#I feel really bad about needing everyone in my family to help me or to grab things for me#but I also don’t really have a choice if that makes sense?#it hurts to walk and to get into and out of bed#I mean hell. I just got up to refill my cup with something cold and fresh#rather than the room temperature water from last night#and I needed my aunt to help me get up#and my back is seizing bc Im having to sleep on the couch for the time being#and since I can’t lay on my back#where the cushions are firmest#my spine is screaming at me as if I’ve been up on my feet for 24 hours straight#another thing that sucks is that I can’t sleep#like I’m tired. I’ve barely gotten 4-5 hours worth of sleep in 2 days#but bc of the couch and the pain I just can’t. even after taking pain meds#actually the pain meds just made me want to vomit#even tho I took them immediately after eating dinner so it’s not like I was on an empty stomach#I’m just. not having a good time rn lol. I swear every week feels like a stronger gut punch
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i literally got no pictures at the actual event so heres a very tired selfie from after 👍
acab n all that but i do make a really hot cop :)
#jumpscare! my ugly mug!#<pictures of me tag except i need to change it#im so tired bro#my feet hurt so bad#i got to work at 8:30 and didnt sit down until noon and then ive been on my feet since#owie#anyway happy halloween babes xx#i had handcuffs dangling from a belt loop btw :) i had so much fun w this costume tbh
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people arent meant to be on their feet for 8+ hours a day
#every fucking day for 3 and a half months my feet hurt so bad after work#i can barely walk#i mean this has happened at every job ive had but only just complaining about it now#its long overdue imo#im so tired of living my life in constant pain because of my job
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i deserve an honest to god medal for making it home but all i got was this lousy masterpost i need to update
#heeeelp. heeeeehkllpppp#crammerposting#EVERYONE GET DOWN IM ABOUT TO HASHTAG COMPLAIN HASHTAG STRUGGLEPOST#my god#i only walked for like 30 minutes but my back and feet hurt so bad i didnt know if i would even make it home or die in a bush somehwere#and it took me 1 hour in general cuz i kept having to take bench breaks#and im also a starving white woman im soooooooo hungry#for ththe past 7 hours i’ve only had like 5 spoons of rice a bun with chicken and Water#im so damn hungry and tired and now im gonna have to cook lunch myself cuz my brother is asleep#i feel crazy but fuck me if im not gonna make the bangerest spaghetti ever
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god. live music my fucking WIFEEE
#bee buzzes#what a good fucking showwwwwww#im so tired and my feet hurt so bad and i just got the hiccups for some reason but i am so fucking#god#GODDD#it was fuckijg fantastic
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IM REALLY TIRED W EEEPS
#AND MY FEET HURT SO BAD#GOD I CAN NEVER JUST SLEEP WHEN I GET HOME#NO I HAVE TO COOK AND CLEAN FOR TWO HOURS#IM TIRED
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what is wrong with me why am i like this i cant do anything let alone anything *right*
#delete later#tw mental health#im so tired#and my head hurts#and i cant draw#i need a hug so bad#my meds are less than ten feet away but i cant fucking stand up
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Ignore
#delete later#i feel. ateocious. my head hurts and my hsnds ache so bad. had to pin my legt hsnd ladt night bc it woke me up trying#to seize up. i just want to sketch ☹️#had to cancel on plans bc im too tired to mske iy out of the flat so feel pretty shit about that but hey. not much i can do about that#so oh well#my feet are also still unstable and my hips arent happy. fuckin sucks
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:^[
#i started my new job on monday#and its rlly rlly hard#all i can think the last couple days is im not cut out for it#and that i made a mistake by agreeing to it and possibly to my degree as a whole#i haven't been able to sit down for more than 5 minutes the whole shift#which i am not dumb shouldnt be so hard but im also fat rn so that does make my feet hurt so bad its lowkey all i can feel physically#and i get asked like . 100+ questions a day (i do not even think that's exaggerating)#and its a LOT to learn all this new stuff about all these new clients and like . they have rlly high needs so its important that like#if no one else understands at least i do bc im like. their point person#and im qualified to do the job. if not more so than all my coworkers : /#but i have left each day barely even understanding everything that happened that day. It FLIES by because there is not a dull moment#and when there is so far its been actually a Problem i need to address making it dull that i am not immediately aware of#im sure itll even out in the coming days but like : ((((((( this is VERY hard for me and i feel like i cant convey that well#bc logically i should be good at it so i must just be being dramatic or smthn idk#and i feel like i cant talk to my friends lately bc idk that feels rlly hard#but its not like i rlly have the time to its just rlly sad#im up too late but im not even tired enough to sleep im just really sad and overwhelmed and i wish i could just like . explode briefly#just till its over or normal#fucking. wretched man idk like its jjust a lot : ((((((#i wish i could communicate that effectively so the bigness of it would come across#delete later
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DUDE THAT WAS AMAZING
#my favourite show I’ve been to#nothing but bangers really great energy#we were barricade which was amazing too#Cody complimented my nails!#I did ones especially for the show based on the deathless tour poster and he pointed them out and told me they were cool!#I got a shirt and got my vip vinyl signed#all in all it was an amazing show#my feet hurt so fucking bad but whatever#I also I think made a kids day#it was their first concert and they also had the vip and they’d made a bunch of bracelets#and they asked me if I wanted one#and I was like ‘I’ll trade you!’ bc I had made a deathless tour kandi cuff#and so I pull out this big bracelet and they were just seemed so delighted by it and they immediately put it on and went to show their dad#so that was a nice experience#the people in line for the vip were super cool too it was a good hang#anyway#im so tired but I had so much fun
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WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY HEALTH PROBLEMS BUT GOD WON'T LET ME DIE
FUCK
#its been 8 hours of chest pain and I just snapped im ready to crack my ribcage open#my fuckin ear is still blocked#my brain chemicals are bad and evil#I have been involuntarily stimming(?) throwing my hands up and shaking my head aggressively as I do when stressed or uncomfortable. all nite#shoulders. hurt. legs. hurt. feet. hurt. eyes. blurry. sweating and shivering. so so so tired. heartbeat being a little bitch.#I'm going to eat a sharpie marker (not really)
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genuine question does anyone have any tips on how to manage prolonged constant extreme anxiety? like the kind where u have to always stay distracted bc any second alone with ur thoughts will send u into a nauseous pit. the kind that makes it so u never get a restful sleep and u never have an appetite and ur hands are always shaking and ur muscles are painfully tense. anyone know uh…… what i can do about that
(i don’t have insurance atm and my medical anxiety is far too high to get anything prescribed atm so i need things that i can do on my own other than breathing and i’m sick of reading articles)
#it feels like it did when my mom was sick and i couldn’t think about anything else for months#except my mom ISN’T sick anymore. so there’s no one reason i can point to#it’s just always there. my stomach hurts my jaw hurts my body hurts#i can do things to stay distracted but when the night rolls back around i feel like i’m trapped in a haunted house#i’m just so tired i wanna cry about it. i want to relax so bad. i want to feel okay and safe and rested SO FUCKING BAD#i didn’t used to be like this i hatehatehate it i don’t wanna be like this or feel like this anymore#not to mention my sister has such high anxiety rn too that even if i’m distracting my own brain she can pull me back into it with hers#how do i exist without being endlessly terrified of everything that could happen to anyone at any time?#without the constant painful awareness of every tick of every second passing by?#im like this close to a meltdown at all times. i’d rather be apathetic than this it’s breaking my bones#i’m physically safe in that i want to remind anyone reading this that i have never been yk. suicidal or anything it’s not like that at all.#i want to be here i’m just SCARED sgajshsnd i’m just shaky and tired and tense and aaaaaaaaa#i need help. idek what that means i just need someone else to tell me it’s gonna be okay#(@ the friends that DO tell me that every day. i love u so much i appreciate u so much. i wish my body would remember it)#i put my feet in grass today and touched a tree and made tea and cleaned the house and it helped a little. it did.#but i just feel like everything takes this constant conscious effort and it’s soooo tiringgggggg i just want to rest#i want to let someone else control my brain for a while#sigh#okay i’m done i just needed to scream about it for a moment#there are places to go and things to paint and songs to listen to#i will keep going. even scared. i just wish i were less scared.
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I DONT WANNA GO BACK TO WORKKKKKKK AAAAAAAAAAAAA
#jabber jay#10 minutes left in my break do you think i have enough time to fake my death#my feet hurt so bad and my tummy hurts and im tired and i dont WANNA TALK TO CUSTOMERS AND HAVE TO SMILE#WAAAAAAAAAAA
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