#shoulders. hurt. legs. hurt. feet. hurt. eyes. blurry. sweating and shivering. so so so tired. heartbeat being a little bitch.

[apollo-zero-one]

WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY HEALTH PROBLEMS BUT GOD WON'T LET ME DIE

FUCK

[daydaydayrk420]

Comfort after nightmares

Bucky Barnes X male reader

⚠️ nightmares, cock warming, male reader, sad Bucky, bottom Bucky, angst, partly smut⚠️

🚨 Minors and girls do not interact 🚨

______________________________________________________________

желаниe (Longing)

It's the same thing.

pжавый (Rusted)

Every night.

Печь (Furnace)

It's the same dream.

семнадцать (Seventeen )

Same hour.

Доброкачественные (Benign)

The same dream.

Девять (Nine)

The same screams.

Возвращение домой (Homecoming)

Same cries.

Один (One)

The same nightmare.

грузовой вагон (Freight car)

A brick wall bursts into pieces as a silver metal arm punches through it. People start screaming and running while the sound of heavy boots stomping echoes through the room. The winter soldier walks through the wall and aims his gun. The victim's face is blurry... Unknown. Or maybe his mind can't decide which face it should choose from the amount of options to put on. They beg as they crawl on the floor... Their voice echoes... it sounds as if it was a mix of multiple pleas from different people in one body. The gun fires. Why. Why did it fire? His finger wasn't even on the trigger. The bullet flies in slow motion. He tries to scream. But the muzzle felt like it was sowed into his flesh. He drops the gun and tries to pry the mask off. It hurts. He screams but it comes out as a quiet whimper. He tries to run instead. But his legs are not responding.

The bullet hit.

Bucky gasps and wakes up in a cold sweat. He's breathing heavily as he looks around disoriented. He's sleeping on the floor next to the bed as usual. The bed never felt inviting. He grabs his head and takes deep shaky breaths. He can't calm down. He looks up towards the bed. It's empty. Y/n must be in his office.

He sighs as he stands up with shaky legs. He's wearing only his underwear. He lets out a shaky breath once his bare feet feel the coldness of the hallway floor. He wraps his arms around himself and walks down the dark hall towards the home office.

The door isn't properly closed so he doesn't bother to knock. He looks in and sees y/n on his work computer. Y/n is clearly unaware of Bucky's presence. Bucky makes his way in. His footsteps are ghost-like quiet after years of training. Bucky lets out a shaky breath as the nightmare decides to repeat before his eyes again. That catches y/n's attention and he turns his chair to look toward Bucky. "Buck?"

Bucky walks into y/n's already open arms. He sits in his lap and sniffles. Y/n doesn't question anything already knowing what's happening and simply rubs Bucky's back soothingly. Bucky buries his face in his neck and closes his eyes enjoying his lover's touch. Y/n turns his chair again and faces his computer while he holds Bucky in his lap.

He caresses his back for a bit before he frees one hand and uses it to continue working on his computer. Bucky is on the verge of falling asleep again but something's missing.

"y/n...?" Bucky whispered. "Yes, darling?" Y/m hums and looks at his lover. "Can...Can I cockwarm you...?" He whispered with his face in y/n's neck. Y/n chuckles and caresses Bucky's hair. "If it'll help you sleep."

Bucky wastes no time and removes his boxers. "Buck you should put on at least a shirt. It's cold tonight." Y/n said as he caressed his boyfriend's cheek. Bucky huffs and looks around hoping to find anything to wear because he's too lazy and tired to return to the bedroom.

Y/n chuckles and removes his sweater. "Here." Bucky nods and takes it. The sweater droops off his shoulder and has longer sleeves than his arms. He looks adorable. Y/n grabs a bottle of lube and hands it to Bucky. "Prep yourself darlin'. I have to work." He said and caressed Bucky's thighs before he returned to writing on his computer.

Bucky whimpers and rolls his sleeves so the sweater doesn't get dirty. He lubes up his vibranium fingers and reaches behind himself. He traces his puffy hole and shivers at the touch of his cold metal.

He doesn't need to be stretched. Not really. He's still a bit open from the fun he and y/n had. Yet he knows y/n won't let him go on unless he's prepped so he's not in pain. Bucky pushes his first finger in with ease. The second one slides in smoothly too but the third takes a little more pressure. He whimpers and rests his head on y/n's shoulder.

"Take it slow Bucky. We have all night." Y/n said and rubbed Bucky's back. Bucky whines in protests wanting to have you inside him already but he knows better than to disobey. He pulls his third finger back and just uses his two fingers. He slowly moves them in and out and spreads them apart. "Good boy." Y/n praised. Bucky whines and fucks himself onto his fingers.

After a bit of fingering the third finger finally slides in with ease. Bucky works his fingers in faster eager to get the real thing already. "I'm ready." He whimpers and looks at y/n. He looks so adorable. Cheeks flushed with three fingers deep in his hole. The large sweater doesn't help. Y/n savors the view before he lifts Bucky up a bit so he can pull his dick out of his pants.

Bucky is already holding the lube again. putting some in his hand and as soon as y/n's dick is out he grabs it and strokes it to lube it up. Y/n groans at the eager touch before he chuckles and kisses Bucky's cheek and jaw. Once Bucky is satisfied with his work he lifts himself up onto his knees and lines up his boyfriend's soft dick with his hungry ass. He lets out a long whine as he sinks down. Y/n groans and fights the urge to fuck up into him and take him against the desk.

"That's it Bucky. Take all you need." Y/n murmured and caressed Bucky's back. Bucky whimpered and rested his head on his lovers shoulder and closed his eyes. He shifts a bit to get more comfortable. Y/n groans and grips Bucky's hips and buries his face in his neck. But he fights back. This is about and for Bucky. Bucky eventually found his spot and relaxed. Y/N takes some time to collect himself before he goes back to work. he slides his chair closer to the desk and leans back. He lazily writes with one hand while his second hand caresses Bucky's lower back in soothing circles. Within ten minutes Bucky has fallen into a peaceful slumber.

[toricrypticice]

The Golden Scarred

CHAPTER TWO (Lingering Desolation)

Three days later

Hunter felt hot and sticky. He had woken up feeling more out of it than usual, with a loud ringing in his ears and a sour taste in his mouth. He had attempted to change his bandages but even the slightest touch caused immense pain, almost identical to the night he-..

betrayed Belos.

The panic about the night was an easy excuse to leave the bandages untouched, with the fact that he really didn’t have enough bandages left anyway to wrap himself properly. The last few days hadn’t gone as planned. His body only seemed to hurt more as the days went on, making it hard to fall asleep and impossible to stay asleep. Either way he was completely drained.

Hunter sniffs shivering as he pulls his cloak closer, sweat dripping down under the mask as he walks. He was looking for food again. He had tried to make the sandwich last, he really did but leaving food out in the wild was bound to attract animals. Fighting squirrels for a sad, soggy crust of a sandwich really wasn’t worth it. Hunter had also attempted to go into town to find food but he found it crawling with scouts. Scouts that worked for Belos. Scouts who were posting his wanted scroll everywhere they could. Scouts that would turn him in before he even had a chance to redeem himself. Just the panic of getting caught and having to face Belos after everything he’d done.. Hunter decided it was best to just check the woods and hope for the best. Sure he wouldn’t find any sandwiches again but there at least had to be Slazberries or something right?

He had been walking for a good hour and much to his dismay he hadn’t found anything and another boiling rainstorm was approaching fast. At least that's what his- Er The Palisman told him. Hunter leans against the staff panting softly, his vision blurring and shifting around him. He was severely exhausted. Rascal tweets softly tilting his head causing the male to chuckle softly waving his hand.

“No no I got this.” The Palisman seemed unimpressed before it twitters again, flying up to help look. Hunter suddenly felt more grounded and aware as his eyes widened, his head snapping up. “D-Don't leave!” his voice was slightly desperate as he felt an immense wave of panic in losing his only friend. Hunter bites his tongue shamefully at the sudden outburst. He knew he shouldn’t get attached.

What would Belos think?

Rascal flutters back landing on his shoulder tweeting softly.

And yet Hunter let’s out a breath, relaxing his shoulders. The small bird nuzzles against the males cheek. Maybe he could talk to Belos and convince him otherwise about Palisman? I mean they really weren’t so bad right? Rascal was Hunter's.. Friend after all.

Maybe-

Hunter coughs harshly softly into his hand gritting his teeth.

“I think I hear a trespasser! ooooh! which means more friends for me, oh hoot!” He hears someone hoot happily. Hunter's eyes widened as he gasps slamming his back against a tree to hide feeling his head spin.

Oh Titan.

No one could see him like this!

So uncomposed.

A traitor.

There was no possible way for him to fight like this.

He peers out, narrowing his eyes, his vision slightly distorted and blurry before focusing. He didn't see any guards, odd. He lets out a strangled yell as something suddenly wraps around his leg, pulling him upward causing him to gasp in pain as he falls to the ground easily. Hooty smiles hovering above the male. Hunter grips his side in pain curling in on himself. It was the creature from a few days ago he took note.

“Hiya golden guard!” Hooty had heard so much about the prodigy from Lilith. He was supposedly a spoiled brat and nothing more. Belos’ right hand man. And yet?..

Luz had mentioned she had seen the boy out here in the woods.

Hooty tilts his head confused as he sees the blood stained young male.

Hunter grips his staff growling in pain and now anger, He quickly focuses his energy and zaps a few feet away standing.

“AH!” He shouts loudly as his side suddenly pulses badly from the small exertion. He clenches his teeth, gasping as he almost falls over, his vision blurring badly as he pants tiredly leaning heavily on his staff. Just that small spell alone was enough to exhaust him. So much for not showing his weakness to his foe.

He needed to get out of here, there was no way that he would win this fight. HIs head felt fuzzy and it was getting harder to focus. All he wanted was to sleep.

Hunter glances behind himself as the owl creature starts to move forward.

“Hey Luz will never believe-!” Before the demon could finish Hunter broke into a run away from the area. Lightning cracks overhead and the male gasps looking up to the sky before boiling rain starts to slowly drizzle down.

“NoNoNoNo” Hunter whimpers helplessly as he pants, closing his eyes tightly, his lungs burning. Why did everything have to be against him? Why did he have to end up here? Why did he have to ruin everything? He breaks into a harder run as he hears the creature call for him. No, he needed to get away. Get back to the cave. No one else could see him like this, what would Belos think?!

Just Get back to the cave.

Get back to-

*BAM!*

He slammed into something hard, knocking him back he stumbled before tripping over himself dizzily and finally falling over, wincing as his whole body flares with pain. His head swam slightly making him nauseous. He growls in pain and anger. What had he hit?

“Ow! what the heck?” A whined voice followed by a gasp “Golden Guard”

Hunter blinks back tears as he looks up, seeing none other than Luz the human standing there with a magic shield above her head protecting her from the boiling rain. The human had been walking the woods everyday since she saw the male. She didn’t understand. Why was he here in BonesBurrow to begin with? And why was he hiding in the woods? Had they been watching her? She needed to know.

Hunter's eyes widened.

No.

Anyone but her.

She’s the reason he was in this mess to begin with.

Another wild “witch” using forbidden magic.

He quickly stands almost falling over having to use his staff for support, his vision wavering as his head spins.

“S-Stay back Human!” He slams his staff down in some sort of intimidation although he was struggling to hold his composure. Luz stares in confusion and shock.

There stood the Golden Guard.

Bruised.

Bloody.

Shaking as he held his staff in a tight grip, almost scared.

The rain drips down causing him to hiss lightly. Hunter didn’t have time for this. He grits his teeth before coughing into his hand.

“Are- are you alright? -..What are you doing out here in the woods?” Luz asks softly, standing firm, narrowing her eyes at the male. Hunter takes another step back leaning heavily on his staff, her words seeming to echo. Hunter growls holding a hand to his head. Staying awake seemed to be getting harder and harder as his vision blurs again.

No he mustn't show weakness.

His breathing came out a bit ragged. “Look, let's get out of the rain.” To this Hunter's head snaps up in surprise, the motion making his vision swim. “I can help you” she extends a hand smiling, to which Hunter lets out a loud agitated scoff. He couldn’t trust her. He snaps angrily.

“I don't need your help!” The yell was followed by a loud intake of air as he staggered dropping his staff to which Rascal immediately flitters up tweeting worried. He tries to grab the tree next to him only to fall to the ground with a loud thump, his head slamming on the roots beneath him as his vision darkens. “Mm” he pants, feeling exhaustion start to take over.

He was so tired,

so cold.

His body felt so,

so heavy.

The noises around him seemed to fade.

Would it matter if he just rested for a bit?

He was useless after all.

No longer needed…

No one would notice..

Maybe he could finally-

“EDA!!!!” Hunter's head spun as the shout startled him. He peels his eyes open slightly, hmm had he moved, or rather was he moving? When had he fallen asleep? His vision blurred but he noticed the owl house coming into view feeling sleep start to take over again. No he couldn’t, not around the enemy. He needed to stay awake but no matter how hard he was struggling it wasn’t working. He pushes against the human slightly in a feeble attempt to get away.

Rascal flittered around the Human that held Hunter squawking worried. The Owl Lady runs in from the kitchen. Hunters eyes become too heavy for him and he slowly falls asleep much to his own dismay.

“What happened, did Hooty get into my apple blood again?-” Eda’s eyes widened as she sees Luz holding one of the Coven guards. “Why do you have that?!” Eda yells in distaste. Luz carefully lays the male on the couch, Rascal landing on his shoulder. Hunter groans slightly in his sleep. Luz carefully removed the mask, eyes widening before she quickly looks away gagging. She hadn’t been prepared for that. The young males left eye was almost fully swollen shut, blood stained his face slightly. There were a few scratches and burns on his face. A slash on his nose and a busted lip. But the worst was a giant gash under his eye, the area oozed slightly and was badly bruised.

Owl lady winces at the sight of the young male. “Yikes. King, get the first aid kit!.” There was no answer. Eda sighs heavily running out of the room to find what she needed.

….

When Hunter started to wake up he heard voices all around him, talking in a hushed tone. “Looks...Bad infection…..magic...but..” Only able to get bits and pieces of the conversation. He slowly peels his eyes open letting out an involuntary whine as his eye throbs from the action. He felt sick to his stomach as he shivered, his vision blurring.

“Oh good you're awake.” Luz hums. Hunter sits up almost instantly upon hearing the voice, letting out a loud growl of pain. He holds his side as it flares distressfully. “Hey be careful” she lays a hand on his shoulder to which Hunter flinches back slightly before glaring her down.

“I'm fine! Why am I here?” Hunter demanded angrily, his eye throbbing at the stress as he swats her hand away annoyed. His head still swam slightly thumping with every word. He remembered trying to run away, he didn't remember agreeing to come to the Owl House.

“Hey I’m just trying to help you” Luz snaps back slightly, frowning as she rubs her hand before pouting at the young males stubbornness. She had so many questions and by the looks of it none of them were going to be answered.

“Last time I checked I didn't ask for your help!” He retorts, breathing a bit heavily as he stands, a few beats of sweat dripping down his face. He felt dizzy and still rather tired but there was no way he could stay here. Luz frowns angry now, she says something under her breath in Spanish about stubbornness as she clenches her fists slightly before she lets out a sigh trying again.

“Look Hunter please you aren't well” Luz tries her tone trying to stay sweet but Hunter can sense her slight agitation with him. He had always been good at reading other people. Working for Belos over the years will do that to you. He always had to make sure to know exactly what to say and what not to say in front of the male. He wasn’t welcome there. He wasn’t welcome here either. It seemed he wasn’t really welcome anywhere.

“I’m doing just fine.” Hunter grumbles as he starts to open the door, clenching his teeth, feeling his legs wobble as he holds his side. Luz huffs loudly, the other witch couldn’t take care of himself clearly by the looks of it.

“Let us help you!” She grabs his wrist quickly to keep him from leaving but what Luz doesn’t expect is for the soft pitiful whimper to leave the male as he flinches back badly. The male to sharply turn around and back against the door in an attempt to get away from the female. The once great Golden Guards shoulders to suddenly start to shake as it slowly became impossible for him to catch his breath. Luz’ eyes widen and she let’s go quickly, her eyebrows furrow worried. “..Hunter?” She whispers softly not wanting to scare him worse. Hunter moves back quickly looking like a deer in the headlights, his back slamming against the door harshly as he shuts his eyes tightly. His body was shaking slightly as he pants a bit heavily.

Hunter could hear his heart racing and he felt like he couldn't breath. His hand moved to his chest as his heart pounded and he pants.

No no he couldn’t panic!!

not here!

not now!

And especially NOT in front of the human!!!

God did he have to be so!

so..

Weak!

Hunter chokes as he tries to breathe, tears starting to blur his vision, his hand gripping the fabric of his shirt tightly.

WEAK…

So useless!!

So—

“Oh how you disappoint me Hunter... “

Belos' voice echoed in his being. Hunter gasps loudly, wheezing as his eyes widen in a panic upon hearing the males voice.A few tears finally escaping his barrier and dripping down his cheeks. Luz watched as the Golden Guard lost all of his composure, seemingly trying to catch his breath as he shook. He looked terrified as he lets out a pained whimper. Luz couldn’t help but stare for a moment, stunned. Hunter looked… like a frail child. Nothing like how she had ever seen him. She sighs, slowly reaching out to which Hunter immediately recoils, putting his hands up shakily blocking his face, desperately pleading in terror as he sees his Uncle advance towards him.

“No No p-please I'm sorry Uncle! i-I can do better please i-!”

Luz gasps a bit softly in surprise. She’d never seen the male in such a state, she hesitates before putting her hand gently on his shoulder. Hunter inhaled sharply, eyes wide as he freezes looking up at the concerned human slowly starting to realize where he was and what just happened. He catches his breath steadily. The gentle physical touch being enough to bring him down from his panic.

“R-Right…” he breathes out looking down, embarrassed and angry at himself “a-another episode” his voice wavers as he blushes laughing nervously. Only having had a panic attack like this once before.. And let’s just say Belos was not happy and it did not help the situation he had been in.

Rascal tweets moving to the young males shoulder. Hunter gasps in surprise, before slowly smiling sadly at the small bird, carefully petting the Palisman. “s-sorry it won’t happen again” He sighs, keeping his eyes down as he apologies to the Human. This only made Luz more worried. “Just let me leave, it’s best for everyone” He felt so stupid having cried in front of Luz.

How Pathetic..

Hunter wipes his face as sweat slides down into his facial cut causing him to wince. He couldn’t help but wonder why the owl house was so hot anyway. He wanted to get back to the cool cave again.

“Hunter what happened to you?” Luz asks suddenly, to which Hunter's eyes widen slightly glancing up before looking quickly back at Rascal.

. “I-“ Hunter starts before going quiet biting his lip as he rubs his arm uncomfortably. He was embarrassed about everything but the human was bound to find out anyway, right? He sighs defeated.

“I messed up..

Ruined everything that I had- I just ..” he pauses looking angry “ I screwed up!” he snaps as he takes the wanted poster from his pocket practically throwing the crumbled piece of paper at the human feeling dizzy, he grabs the door for support. Rascal flies up tweeting anxiously. Hunter sighs heavily “I tampered with forbidden sources. I lied. I spoke out of turn. I failed the Emperor and when you fail. Well. you outlive your usefulness, although he does want me alive which means maybe i still have a chance to redeem myself” he couldn't help but laugh painfully as he shrugs “But anyway just do what I assume you will. Turn me in and -“ Hunter stops as Luz stomps her foot

“Belos in such a monster!”. Hunter flinches at Luz’ sudden anger in slight shock looking almost worried before he shakes his head at himself.

“Wait-What? No- no I failed, it's my c-consequence he’s just doing his job. Belos is a great emperor. If I hadn’t tampered with wild magic none of this would have-” Hunter was cut off by a loud scoff from the doorway

“Kid that dictator is no hero” Eda frowns sadly rolling her eyes. Hunter looks over wanting to argue but he doesn’t, this was Eda the owl lady after all. And anyway Belos was just a merciless man that's all… right?.

Yeah.

This was normal.

Hunter screwed up and needed to be punished. All normal parent and kid things.

And yet his mind wandered back to the night.

When Belos attacked him.

When he had tried to..

Hunter's hand moves to his abdomen to where he was struck as he looks a bit distant.

“N-no but he-..he cares” Hunter's voice was angry and didn't sound all too convincing. He steps back stumbling feeling a bit hot, “uncle just, just-” his uncle's icy stare flashed in his mind. Hunter shudders slightly looking down before he nods, sighing. “Right.. right ”

he was nothing to his uncle now..

He would have to redeem himself all over again to be in his uncles favor,

“It’ll be okay” Luz’ voice was soft as she started to guide him back to the couch, noticing him stumble slightly trying not to use her for support. “You have a place here for now” she offers

“I don’t want a place here” Hunter mumbles in annoyance to which Luz pouts.

Hunter sighs, leaning back on the couch with a frown looking away. His body felt a bit numb and sore all at the same time. He was tired, so tired. He notices Eda point to the kitchen causing Luz to sigh standing.

“I’ll get you some food while Eda takes a look at your wounds” Luz smiles, humming as she claps her hands.

“Wait what?” Hunter nervously glances at the Owl Lady gulping.

[fruitcoops]

Hi! If u have any time, I would love to read some fluffy Coops hurt/comfort! Maybe Remus having a nightmare about Greyback?

I can, yes! For those of you wondering why I didn’t continue the Greyback audio series despite a couple different asks: someone kept coming into my inbox and bothering me about progress, and I got tired of it. I write for fun, and if the story isn’t flowing I generally work on something else for a bit until inspiration strikes. Constantly asking (like, three times a day) about a fic will not get it out faster.

Coops credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for nightmares, past injury, and self-deprecating dream talk (briefly)

Greyback was out of the league, and rumors had begun to fly about a possible court case. Remus had received hundreds of texts, emails, and DMs from people expressing their condolences—his old teammates had contacted him more in the past 48 hours than they had in literal years.

And he was so unbelievably tired.

Hattie rumbled against his front and Sirius was solid and warm behind him, curved in a protective parenthesis against the endless unanswered messages. Upon Remus’ request, he had taken his phone and put it on the top shelf of the laundry room cupboards; anyone who wanted to talk to Remus would go through Sirius, first. He couldn’t think of anyone that mattered who didn’t have Sirius’ phone number.

“Are you still awake?” Sirius murmured against the nape of his neck. Remus nodded silently. “Do you want to take some melatonin?”

“It’s alright.”

Sirius shifted and pulled the blankets further onto their shoulders; Hattie wiggled up until her face was out of the sheets, then sighed heavily. “Do you want to talk?”

Remus shrugged, suddenly feeling shaky and untethered. He had only caught a passing glance of Greyback at the conference, staring him down across the lobby until his handlers took him away and left Remus alone with the media. The look in his eyes was almost murderous. “Just don’t let go.”

The arm around his waist tightened and he closed his eyes, matching his breaths with Sirius’ until his world narrowed to the heartbeat against his shoulder and Hattie’s fur in his hand. No aching feet, no pounding head, no verge-of-tears clog in his throat—just Sirius, just Hattie, just them in their bed and the whole world locked outside.

“We’re going to be okay, right?”

“Why wouldn’t we be?” Sirius moved and a small pocket of cold lodged behind Remus’ knees. “Re, I knew what happened before the story came out.”

“But know there’s…”He waved a hand in the air. “People. Cameras. So many people trying to contact me all the time, and I’m tired. I haven’t really been here for you.”

“Remus.” Sirius tugged on his shoulder until he rolled onto his back, but kept their sides pressed together. “You don’t have to be here for me right now. It’s my job to be there for you while this is going on. Besides, I’m used to dealing with media and nosy people.”

Remus exhaled slowly. “Thank you for taking my phone.”

“You asked me to do it.”

“Still. You could’ve said no.”

“You have enough on your plate already, mon loup.” Sirius trailed his fingers lightly through Remus’ hair and he closed his eyes. “Sleep. I know you didn’t last night.”

“I slept a little bit.”

“Yeah, for about two hours.” A gentle kiss pressed against his cheek. “Sleep.”

He took a deep breath and tried to relax, letting the tension drain from his muscles and allowing the tsunami of exhaustion to wash through in its place. His brain still ran at a million miles per hour and he could feel the beginnings of yet another headache—though who was he kidding, the last week had been a constant headache—but he focused on his heartbeat and breathed in the familiar scent of their bedroom.

Remus felt himself slipping, and suddenly all he smelled was sweat. Sweat and fear and the spongy plastic of the mats sticking to his cheek. He couldn’t feel any pain, but the terror of someone’s hands on his body bolted all the way to his core. Pressure on his thighs as the person’s knees pinned him down; pressure on his back and a palm by his shoulder blade; pressure, so much pressure, on one joint until it gave out and Remus was falling.

He was cold, colder than any ice bath, and gasping for air.

He won’t love you. He never did. Nobody will ever be able to tether you for long. He’ll get tired of trying.

“Please,” Remus begged as the roaring wave came up behind him. A blurry face appeared ahead, with cold eyes and a razor-sharp smile. “No, no—”

Fenrir wouldn’t let go. He was trapped like a fish in a net, struggling and fighting against the harsh grip until his eyes flew open and someone was talking right next to his ear and it was too much too much too much—

“No!” His elbow slammed into something soft and the warmth across his chest disappeared. “Get off me!”

Bedroom. He was in a bed, in a bedroom. In his bedroom. It smelled like lavender and laundry detergent. Hattie was on the floor, carefully sniffing his hand and watching him with huge gray eyes as he pulled his knees to his chest and waited for the last of the nightmare to tremble through him.

A hand brushed against his arm and he flinched, teeth chattering despite the warm room. “Don’t touch me.”

“Okay.” The mattress dipped as Sirius sat up and crossed his legs, sitting patiently and rubbing one rib.

Remus’ mouth went dry. “Did I hit you?”

“Just your elbow.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright.”

He shook his head. “No, it’s not. I hit you.”

“Do you want to take a look?” Sirius asked, his voice soft. Remus blinked rapidly and shifted to face him; he lifted the edge of his sleep shirt and gestured to his ribs. “See? No marks. You didn’t hurt me, just surprised me.”

“Part of me wishes they never found that video,” Remus said. The words tumbled from his lips—he had been choking them down for days now, but he was too tired to hold them in anymore. “I wish nobody ever knew except you and me and him.”

Sirius hummed. “That’s fair.”

“It’s stupid. He deserves what he’s getting.”

“He does.”

Frustration bubbled in his chest. “Then—then I have to choose one, right? He deserves what he’s getting and I deserve to move on and his name should be dragged through the mud, but I just want people to leave me the fuck alone.”

His shoulders folded in and he pressed his forehead to his knees; there were no tears left, but that didn’t stop the shivering that made his stomach hurt. “Can I touch you?” Sirius asked after a moment.

“Yeah.” Remus leaned into him, laying both his legs over one of Sirius’ and curling up like a barnacle against his side. “Sorry for dumping all this on you.”

“Re, this isn’t dumping stuff on me. This is communicating how you feel, and Heather says that’s a good thing.”

“Heather isn’t here.”

“When’s your next appointment?”

“Monday.”

Sirius gave him a squeeze. “I’m not a therapist, but I can hug you until Monday if you want.”

Remus laughed a little—there wasn’t much humor in it, but at least it was there. “That sounds pretty nice, actually. I’m going to take a shower and then make some tea.”

“It’s a mint with honey kind of day?”

“Yeah.”

Forty minutes later, when Remus was mostly dry and bundled in his most comfortable sick-day clothes, he went downstairs and found a steaming mug of mint tea with honey waiting on the coffee table. Sirius smiled and patted the couch as the opening credits of Avatar began. It felt…well, it felt almost normal.

[21burritoseavey]

Like Everybody Else - daniel seavey imagine

a/n: I hope you like this, i didn’t want to make it too sad lol. Also, kinda random but how many of you use :), :( or :/ in texts? cos I do. Let me know what you think.

Song: Lennon Stella, Like Everybody Else

Run fast, run away, run straight into the loneliness

It isn't only home I miss

 “How's tour?” Y/n asked excitedly, taking a seat on the cushioned floor next to Anna. 

 Daniel smiled gently, “It’s...great.” Daniel spoke gingerly. “It would be so much better if you were with me” He continued easily. 

 “Aww, Dani” Y/n’s cheeks flushed bright pink at his sweet words, and she giggled timidly. 

 “Aww, you two are just the cutest” Anna said sarcastically as she rolled her eyes. Him and Y/n chuckled lightly on opposite ends of the FaceTime call. 

 “How are you two doing then?” Daniel asked with a tight smile. 

 “We’re doing great! Keri’s gonna take us snowboarding tomorrow with your family!” Y/n spoke positively. Daniel’s eyes lingered fondly on Y/n’s. He happily relished in the feeling of love that played in her toothy smile and soft gaze. 

 Daniel’s blurry, muddled mind cleared as memories of past family adventures emerged at the sight of innocent kids playing in the distant snow from out the window. The snow fell as gracefully as feathers. 

 Daniel turned back to his phone after what seemed like ages. “That’s great. I’m glad you’re having so much fun.” He said quietly. “I miss you guys so much.” He breathed, his voice slightly wavering. The girls didn’t notice the slight sadness etched in his voice. He rushed to end the call, not wanting to fall apart in front of them. “I gotta go. I love you guys!” He rushed out before hanging up. He tossed his phone to the edge of his bunk and set his face in his hands morosely. 

 Like the night all my friends got together

Heard about it afterwards

Didn't think was gunna hurt so much

Daniel trudged out of the interview room tiredly. His bandmates followed close behind with faces full of energy and voices dripping in excitement. The boys’ brand-new freedom allowed for tons of new adventures in the unexplored town and while the other guys almost sprinted out of the building, Daniel wanted nothing more than to be alone with his thoughts. He pulled out his phone from his back pocket and tapped Y/n’s name on messages nearly unknowingly, like it was muscle memory. “Daniel, come on, we’re waiting outside.” Jonah called gently from a few paces away. Daniel lifted his gaze and let a small smile play on his lips as he spoke. “Yeah, just a sec.”

 “Hi” He typed quickly, shuffling his feet slowly toward the elevator. His screen illuminated after a few seconds. 

 “Hey:)” Y/n responded. Daniel’s tense body relaxed at the simple message from his girlfriend, and he let the corners of his lips pull upwards to form a faint smile. 

 “What you up to?” He continued. A moment later he received a photo from Y/n and opened his hesitantly. The image loaded to reveal Y/n with a couple other friends of theirs. The dark atmosphere sparked his memory and he remembered Oscar’s birthday party. Their happy faces shone bright even in the nearly non-existent light of the club. Daniel’s smile faltered at the sight of them and he couldn’t help but feel a great amount of envy swallow his mood. He wanted them to be happy, but he wanted to be happy too. 

 “Daniel,” Jonah whispered sharply again. It was only at that moment that Daniel realised he had barely moved from his initial spot, and he chuckled lightly at his friend’s serious expression. He jogged over. “What’s got you so glum?” Jonah asked teasingly as they headed into the empty elevator. He turned back to see Daniel truthfully upset and his expression quickly broke. “What’s up, man?” He asked earnestly, setting a comforting hand on Daniel’s back. 

 “Y/n...and the others...” Daniel said simply, dropping his gaze to his pink sneakers. 

 Jonah looked a little bewildered. He narrowed his eyes, “What? What do you mean? Did they do something?” He rushed out. 

 “D-don’t worry about it.” Daniel dismissed with a gentle shrug. He averted his gaze to the sign above the door and watched it light up silently as they reached their floor. 

 Why if I'm doin' so well

Did I build a wall between me and the world?

Daniel was sitting up on his bunk bed, leaning against his single pillow with his legs stretched out and ankles crossed lightly. He was still dressed in his outfit - too tired of even changing into something comfier. He stared blankly at his Instagram timeline on his phone, scrolling mindlessly through photos etched with fun and adventure. The high, creaking noise of the door swinging open shot Daniel out of his faint trance, and he looked up expectantly. 

 “Hey, the guys and I are going out to dinner? Wanna come?” Zach asked, making his way further into the narrow hallway of the tour bus. Daniel shook his head lightly. 

“Nah it’s fine” He muttered as casually as he could. He felt a swell of emotion wash over him unexpectedly.

“You sure? You said no last week as well.” Zach asked, peeking a brow at the boy across from him. 

 “Yep” Daniel said quickly, swallowing back the lump in his throat. He pulled a tight smile, trying to ignore the uneasy feeling in his stomach. Zach nodded gently, turning away towards the door, but just before he came to it, he looked over his shoulder one last time to Daniel. He let his eyes linger on his downcast eyes lit up by the screen in front of him before walking forwards and shutting the door behind him. 

 Daniel sighed in relief and dragged his palm over his face tiredly. He kicked off his shoes and watched them drop carelessly on the floor. He tugged the throw blanket at the foot of his bed closer and pulled it right up to his chin tightly, letting his eyes linger to the dark night sky aglow with city lights. He glanced at his cheery bandmates sauntering out of the bus and onto the footpaths with nothing but joy in their step. Daniel wanted to feel like them too, more than they could ever comprehend. 

 Been drilled in my head forever, be better, turns out

I'm just like everybody else

 Daniel burnt the midnight oil often. He usually found daytime band rehearsals too overwhelming to focus. His gentle piano playing broke the serene silence of the night, coaxing a beautiful, soothing melody until it was interrupted by the wrong note, caused by the slip of his finger. Daniel huffed deeply, resting his head aggressively on the keys in annoyance. It produced a muddled sequence of notes and Daniel felt the vibrations buzz through his head. He lifted his head, slouching back on the bench. He finally felt a great swell of anxiety drown his mind. The previous, harsh critiques from Randy reverberated in his head continuously and he couldn’t get his mind to stop spinning with self-doubt. 

 Daniel sighed deeply. He bit his lip in an attempt to stop his frustrated tears from pouring down his face. He looked around the empty and gloomy rehearsal room and let it all go. He hid his face in his hands tiredly while he cried. The dull ache in his heart was all he could think about, but he merely let himself feel the pain he thought he deserved. A few long minutes later, when Daniel thought he’d cried all the tears left in him, Daniel lifted himself up stiffly from the piano. He rubbed his temples gently before flipping the sheet music to the next page and continuing. 

 Don't even go near a mirror, it’ll kill ya

Trust me, you don't wanna see yourself

“Guys” A crew member came back into the dressing room. “You’ve got three minutes.” He reminded before rushing out into the hallway again. Daniel turned back to the mirror as he adjusted the cuffs of his dress shirt again. 

“Does this look alright to you?” He turned to Jack, pointing to his black and white suit. 

“Yeah,” Jack laughed lightly. “It’s fire...for the five - hundredth time” He joked, “why?” 

“Oh, I don’t know.” Daniel started, glaring over his shoulder to Jack again. “Maybe it’s ‘cause we’re going to a red-carpet event.” He said nervously. 

“Don’t sweat it, dude. We’ll be fine.” Jack reassured. 

Daniel nodded. His gaze persisted on the smudged, full length mirror standing in front of him. In truth, it wasn’t just his appearance he was worried about. It was also his talent. The thought of being in the presence of A list celebrities and artists he greatly admired sent everlasting shivers down Daniel’s spine. 

Fuck the noise, It's too late, It's the choices

Now I don't even wanna be someone

 “Dani.” Jack called gently from across the table. “Daniel.” He said blankly after a moment. 

 “Daniel.” Zach’s hand slammed hard on the table causing a loud thump to echo through Daniel’s whirling mind and he looked up from his downcast gaze to his bandmates cluelessly. “It’s your turn” Zach said, gesturing to the Monopoly board set on the table. 

 The dim light of the lamp casted a warm glow to the lounge room. Daniel sat lazily with his legs tossed on the coffee table. Daniel’s face broke into a soft smile. “Oh right. Sorry.” He chuckled. He leaned over, picked up the dice in one hand and rolled it. 

 “You okay, man?” Corbyn inquired honestly, eyes flickering to Daniel.

 “Yeah...you haven’t really…been here tonight.” Jonah asked carefully. His face was brimming with concern. Daniel’s gentle smile faltered, and his eyes wandered nervously before landing on his bandmates again.

“Y-yeah, yeah. I’m just tired.” He shrugged hesitantly, “don’t worry,” he added. He dropped his gaze back to the board and rested his chin in his hands. 

 That's nice, champagne, what a shame, It doesn't work on me

So don't go wastin' your money

Everybody in this room is too hard, too pretty, I'm tired

I just wanna be nobody

Daniel sat awkwardly at a circular table in the fancy, high end restaurant. The cacophony of polite chatter and clattering of fine cutlery filled his ears and he could barely focus on his own table’s conversation. “Daniel.” The sound of his name being called had Daniel diverting his stare to the older man opposite him. His sharp, strong features only complemented his staid personality. 

“Yes.” Daniel spoke as elegantly as he could. He tried not to let his nervousness peak through his calm facade and he wiped his slightly dampened forehead with the back of his hand. 

“Your managers over here tell me you’re quite the song writer.” He stated the faintest hint of a smile present on his lips. Daniel’s face flushed with nervousness. He cleared his throat with a slight chuckle and dropped his fork onto his plate. 

“I try my best.” He grinned. “But yea...I really enjoy it.” He finished shyly. He washed down the tension flooding his body with a sip of his champagne. 

The older man glared at Daniel before honestly saying, “you know, this opportunity is extremely selective. We only pick one applicant a year.” Daniel glanced at him expectantly, trying to ignore the tightening twist of his stomach. “There are many artists that enjoy writing.” He finished. 

“I understand-” Daniel tried but he was interrupted. 

“He’s a great writer, take it from me” Randy intervened swiftly. He shot a glare to Daniel before leaning his elbows on the table to converse gravely with the other man. Daniel reluctantly focused back on his nearly full plate - he barely ate because of his anxiety. He shoved a forkful of food into his mouth. 

What made me think I was special? I'm not special

Turns out I'm like everybody else

This song sounds exactly like 5SOS

They are just a like 1D

Their music sounds the same

Daniel typically took criticism with grace and modestly, but this time was different. The rims of his eyes were red from glaring at Instagram comments under his music announcement post for almost one hour straight. His fingers readily hovered over the word ‘reply’, prepared to sincerely explain how different his band’s songs were and how much work went into producing them. 

In the back of his mind, Daniel couldn’t help but believe their hurtful words. He set down his phone on the floor to the side in an effort to stop his mind from whirling out of control. He drew up his knees in embarrassment and hid his face against them tiredly. He let his anxiety-stricken face relax and tears flowed gently down his face. 

[untaemedqueen]

The Lions Den

Mafia!Jimin x Wife!Reader

Genre: Mafia!AU, Smut, Fluff, Angst

Chapter 5.

Warnings: Smut, Blood, Guns, Knives, Excessive Cursing, Excessive Alcohol Intake, Smoking (Cigarettes and Cigars), Mental Health Issues

Warnings For This Chapter: Gory Descriptions, Shoddy Medical Work From A Non-Professional, Mentions of Suicide, Character Mentions They’re Ready To Die 

TagList- @ayyyocee​​​​​​​​, @mysugabear03, @wisebtsgot7prune​, @imaforeigner​​​​​​​​, @yeonkiminnie​​​​​​​​​, @stories1907​​​​​​​​​, @ppersonna​​​​​​​​​, @brilee64​​​​​​​​​, @gooplibrary​​​​​​​​​, @vivpurple7​​​​​​​​, @xjoonchildx​​​​​​​​, @brightwingr5​​​​​​​​, @yaniposts22​​​​​​​​, @rjsmochii​​​​​​​​, @taeslittletiger​​​​​​​​, @pjmcth​​​​​​​​, @bts-chub​​​​​​​​, @kpoppingthempills​​​​​​​, @kim-ji-hyeons-world​​​​​​, @jikooksgirl19​​​, @yoong-i​​​, @ruinsofangels​​​, @absolutefantrash​​, @chiminies-noona​​, @eclectically-esoteric​

Sequel to The Bird Cage

A/N: A super big shout out to my resident nurse forever @youarejesting​, she’s the absolute greatest and I’m really grateful for her help!

The drive to the warehouse was silent apart from the sound of squealing tires and Jimin's heavy breathing. His eyes were screwed shut, sweaty hand gripping at yours as it rests on your lap. You can hear Namjoon's lips smack together as he whispers under his breath. The tires squeal loudly before turning onto the deserted road of the warehouse.

In the distance, as the sun rises you can make out Hoseok's SUV. The warehouse doors were swung wide open and you squeeze Jimin's hand as Namjoon slams on the brakes. Jimin’s eyes snap open before wiping his hands on his pants. Through the windshield of the Escalade you can see splatters of blood on the dirt path into Jeongguk’s famed warehouse and your stomach begins to roll.

Hoseok was nowhere in sight and your heart stops for a fraction of a second before you’re shoving open the car door and jogging out. “Y/N!” Hoseok screams and you take a deep breath before jogging into the warehouse.

The stench of blood has your body faltering backwards, your eyes straining to see in the dark wooden repository. Then you see it, Jeongguk laid out on the ground, blood pooling around him. Hoseok above him shirtless pressing his black t-shirt onto Guk’s body. “Oh my God.” You mumble before running over to them.

Jeongguk has a cold sweat, face pale as his eyes stare up at the wooden rafters above him. Black hair stuck to his face like it’s been glued and you can hear Jimin curse loudly behind you. You fall to your knees, hand caressing his sweating face before looking up at Hoseok. His eyes are puffy and red, he’s been crying for his little brother. “Noona!” Jeongguk slurs as a smile breaks onto his face. 

His voice is hoarse and you take in a deep breath before looking down at him. You can’t find it in yourself to answer him as you take over for Hoseok putting pressure on his wounds. You can save him, you have to. “Get the car ready, we have to move him.” You tell Hoseok who in turn sighs gently.

“He’s been bleeding for almost an hour, he’s not going to make it.” He whispers in your ear before sobbing gently. 

“Yes, he is. He’s going to make it. Go do as I said.” You whisper fiercely as Namjoon’s hands grip under Hoseok’s armpits before he hauls up his body without a word. You can hear Jimin sob loudly before he’s crashing onto his knees beside Jeongguk’s body. The knees of his pants get caked in blood as he runs his hand over the youngest’s forehead. “What’d you do?! Kookie, you fucking idiot.” Jimin whispers before putting his hand over the black t-shirt as it soaks in his blood. 

Jeongguk gives a quiet laugh before closing his eyes. He coughs gently before cringing and gasping for air. “Noona?” He whispers trying to lift his hand to try and grab your arm. 

“Don’t move, Guk, please.” You whisper as Jimin peels back the shirt before crying harder. His eyes screw shut, before he presses harder on the wound taking over for you.

“Am I going to die now?” He asks before licking at his lips, he coughs gently before looking back up at the ceiling. 

“No! You’re not fucking dying! I’m going to help you.” You tell him as your nasal passages begin to burn with raw emotion. Guk cringes, a short breath invades his lungs before he finally grabs your wrist.

“Noona. It’s okay. I’m ready.” Jimin presses down harder on the wound as he bites his bottom lip.

“No! You aren’t! Stop talking!” You seethe to him before your eyes become blurry with tears. You look up, eyes blinking rapidly to see clearly before you spot the workbench of tools Guk uses. Standing up on shaky legs, you drag yourself to the iron table before swiping your arm over your face. You whine gently as you peruse the tools, he has nothing to help stop bleeding. You wouldn't expect him to in his line of work but you had wishful thinking. 

“How deep is the cut?” You ask your husband who doesn’t hear you over his own wailing. 

“Car is ready!” Hoseok yells into the warehouse.

Namjoon enters, hair absolutely disheveled as he rushes over to Jeongguk. “How deep is the bleeding?!” You yell out in hopes someone will hear you.

“Deep! You can almost see his fucking guts!” Jimin screams back to you as he stands up. Your jump on your toes, the shock beginning to set in before you eye the clamps on the iron table. You turn your head as Jeongguk’s body begins to writhe on the floor. 

“Call Doctor Song!” You yell to Hoseok as he opens the car door. Quickly, your hands grab the clamps before looking around. Your teeth find the skin of your bottom lip, peeling some off before taking in a deep breath. You have to save this kid. You fucking have to.

“Blowtorch. Where’s the blowtorch?!” You scream loudly as Hoseok runs behind you with his phone pressed between his face and shoulder. He rushes past you towards the chains that are attached to the wall before digging through them and throwing you the torch. Kicking up dirt off the floor, you jog back over to the younger man.

“Okay, okay.” You mumble before setting the clamps down on Jeongguk’s legs. 

“What are you doing?” Jimin mumbles before sniffling. You ignore him as you fish into Jeongguk’s hoodie and pull out his bottle of cognac. The cap goes flying off and you can hear Hoseok mumbling into the phone on the other side of the warehouse.

“Guk. You gotta tell me what to do. You’re medical, you need to help me.” You tell him as you douse the clamps with the alcohol. 

“You’re wasting my alcohol.” He chuckles to himself before wetting his lips with his tongue. 

“When I say, lift off the shirt.” You tell your husband, he stares at you before pushing his black hair back.

“You can do this, Kitten?” He questions before looking at your stomach. 

“It’s not the first time.” Many times over the years you’ve had to help out the crew whether it be that Jeongguk was not there or he was the one hurt. But, he was never this drunk and willing to die before. You feel lost but you can’t let it swallow you. Your eyes flick to Jeongguk as he begins to cough again, harder and weaker this time around.

“Now.” You say to your husband. He lifts the shirt and your stomach rolls at the deep wound. Blood lazily traipses over the sides of his body as the pressure is released. 

“I’m sorry Kookie.” You whisper quietly before dousing the wound with the cognac. He chokes on a breath before groaning. You shower your hands with the alcohol before discarding the bottle. 

“Noona. You owe me for that bottle.” He mumbles to you and you chuckle gently before nodding. “I’ll buy you another one.”

You light up the blowtorch, before setting it down on the floor. With a shaky hand you grab the clamps and run it through the flame. “Jeongguk, tell me what I’m doing.” You mumble to him before meeting his eyes.

He shivers before gasping gently, “Heat up the clamps.”

Your bottom lip purchases between his teeth before heating up the clamps until they turn an orange tint, the metal radiating heat. “Put it where I’m bleeding out.” 

His instruction makes you swallow thickly, you can feel your mouth salivating out of sheer queasiness. Jimin looks down at the wound before clearing his throat. “Bottom right.”

You lean over the wound before pressing your lips into a straight line, you whimper before looking at the youngest as he shuts his eyes. “Just fucking do it.” He whispers before clenching his teeth.

You pull the clamps away from the fire, the metal glowing red before shaking out your limbs. You whine gently before groaning. “Okay. Okay.” You whisper to yourself, trying to will yourself to press the hot clamps into the large cut. 

Namjoon grabs your wrist as you whimper before dipping the hot clamp into Jeongguk’s wound to cauterize the veins, a second feels as if it is forever, before Namjoon is pulling out the clamps. Jeongguk screams loudly, feet lifting off of the floor. You cringe before apologizing numerous times to the younger man. His body shivers as he shuts his eyes. 

“Don’t pass out. Stay with me.” Jimin tells his younger brother as he runs his fingers through Guk’s hair. 

“Am I bleeding still?” Jeongguk asks through clenched teeth, Namjoon covers your eyes before peaking into the wound and shaking his head. “No.”

“Get me to the fucking hospital if you want to save my life so badly.” He mumbles before his body stills. Jimin takes off his shirt before pressing it to the wound and looking at everyone.

“Hey, Guk?” Jimin calls gently to the youngest before tapping his cheek gently. Jeongguk makes no movement before he’s being hauled off of the floor by Hoseok and Namjoon. 

“Get him to Park Hospital. I’ll take Namjoon’s car.” Jimin says to them as they exit the warehouse. He wipes at his face before looking up at you. Your body falters back before you’re laying on the floor, eyes dazed up to the wooden rafters above. 

“Kitten?” You hum gently as you close your eyes, hands still shaking gently as you clear your throat. Then it sets in, quite like it did a few years ago when you took care of Yoongi’s wounds. Your body shakes before a sob rips from your throat. 

“Okay.” Jimin whispers before your body is being picked up by his arms. He coddles you to his body before kissing over your forehead. “Let’s get you home. You and the baby need your rest.”

You lean against the door frame, staring at Jeongguk’s sleeping form before rubbing your hands together. He had been brought back not too long ago and you’ve been watching him sleep for quite some time. You sigh gently before sipping the ginger tea Mirae had made for you. He looks so peaceful as he sleeps but you know just how tormented he is when he wakes.

You enter the room before sitting in the armchair next to the bed. Watching as his eyes shift quickly behind his closed eyelids. You put down the tea before crossing your legs, hand running over your lips before you let out a small sigh. There was a time where Jeongguk reassured you during your time of need, being a shoulder to lean on. And now, through all of your guilt and your own selfishness you left him to wallow in his own self pity without taking care of him. You close your eyes before running your hands over your face.

A groan emits from his sleeping body and you’re quick to look up before pressing your lips into a straight line. “Noona?” His voice is hoarse and weak and it makes you whimper.

You stand up before sitting at the edge of his bed and running your hand over his tattooed arm. “Do you want water?” Your fingers brush his long hair out of his eyes as he nods slightly.

You grab the water bottle from the side table and crack it open for him. He lifts up before groaning loudly and falling back onto the bed. “Take it easy. You’re not going anywhere.” You whisper to him as he grabs the water bottle from you. 

His eyes find yours, before he grabs your hand. “I’m sorry I’m worrying you.” 

You shake your head at his words before rubbing your thumb in soothing, circular motions. “You need to stop drinking, you need to come back to reality Kookie. I know it’s so hard to see her around you but you need to stay with us.” He closes his eyes before drinking the water again.

“I’ll stop drinking.” He whispers before putting his head back and looking at the ceiling. “We have another baby coming soon. I want you to be around for them.”

He takes in a sharp breath before closing his eyes, “I’m so sorry. I’ll shape up.”

“You were there for me once when I needed to be found. You were by my side supporting me and I’m here for you. I’ll be here for you when you find yourself again.” He grabs at your hand before squeezing it tightly. 

You have so many questions for him, so many things you want to say but you only find yourself asking one. “Why’d you cut yourself so deeply, did you really want to die that badly?”

He clicks his teeth before sighing, “I didn’t cut myself. There was someone in the warehouse that I was going to torture and I was too drunk to make sure he was shackled properly. He got me and he got away.”

You widen your eyes at him before his bedroom door opens to Jimin. “Who was in the warehouse?” You ask before looking over at your husband. “One of the Ims men. He stole a shipment not too long ago.”

“You’re telling me you took it upon yourself to put an Im in one of our warehouses without an order?” Jimin pipes up, nervousness creeping into his voice. Jeongguk flinches before nodding.

“Yes. While I was drunk and now he’s on the loose.” Jimin pulls out his phone before cursing loudly, the room falls silent as Jeongguk attempts to sit up against his headboard. 

“Namjoon, there’s an Im running around that needs to be taken care of before he goes and tells them what Jeongguk did to him.” He hangs up the phone before narrowing his eyes at his younger brother. “You better hope Namjoon finds him first. Or I’ll have your head. Kitten.”

Jimin holds out his hand and you sigh gently before standing up and walking over to him. His hand lands on the flat of your stomach before slamming the door shut. Whether or not the Im is found. Hell was going to freeze over, you can feel it.

[set-phasers-to-whump]

i think i’ll just collapse right here, thanks

Prompt: blurred vision

Whumpee: Nick Burkhardt

Fandom: Grimm

hi i’m very tired and stressed so there is a high chance this might be very bad but oh well this is all it’s gonna be. hope maybe you enjoy anyway?

Nick wakes up that morning and immediately knows that he’s sick. He’s achy and his head hurts and he’s chilly. But that’s the extent of it, and it’s really nothing so much as a small annoyance. Nothing to skip work over. 

At first, that assumption had been correct. It’s a paperwork day, and a little discomfort never stopped anyone from filling out the required boxes and initialling on the dotted line. But as the morning wears on, Nick starts to feel worse and worse, and even the benign task of paperwork starts to feel incredibly daunting. 

The overall achiness of his body is about the same at eleven o’clock as it had been when he’d woken up, but his head is absolutely pounding now, and he’s shivering so hard his handwriting is hardly legible, but he feels himself sweating, too, which is a terribly uncomfortable sensation.

Still, he tries to focus on his paperwork, but finds he can barely read it, let alone keep filling it out. His vision is blurring, and the letters all smudge together. He blindly signs the papers, as close to the signature lines as he can. His hand is still shaking, though, and he knows Renard will be on him about his awful penmanship later. But that is far from his most pressing issue, so he continues on with his haphazard signing. 

Around noon, he starts to feel really bad. He can’t even pick out the signature lines on his paperwork now, and he sets down his pen, hearing it rattle against the table for a second as his hand gives an especially violent tremor. His head is still pounding, feeling like it’s getting worse with each passing minute. And if he’d been cold before, he’s absolutely freezing now, and he wraps his arms around himself in an effort to warm up. This is despite the fact that sweat is still dripping down the back of his neck. I probably have a fever, he lets himself think, for the first time. 

--

A minute, or quite possibly an hour, later, Hank looks up from his own paperwork for the first time all day. He’d been focusing hard all morning, and now his reward has arrived: it's twelve-thirty, and he’s going to head out and get a sandwich from his favorite shop. 

He looks over to Nick, who is looking down at his papers, apparently as deep in concentration on them as Hank has been for the past four hours. 

“I’m gonna grab a sandwich,” he says, frowning when Nick doesn’t look up at him. “You wanna come?”

Nick blinks, processing Hank’s words as fast as he can. After a few seconds, he says, very quietly, “sure.” He’s never been less hungry in his whole life, and Hank’s mere mention of lunch has sent his stomach churning, but if he says no Hank will ask why, and then he’ll realize Nick’s sick, and it’ll turn into a whole thing, which Nick really does not want. 

“Let’s go,” Hank says, picking up his wallet. “I’ll even buy yours, too.”

Nick gives an almost imperceptible nod, then stands up. Hank is already heading towards the doors, eager to get to his lunch, and Nick quickly steps to follow him. 

He’s not four steps into his walk when he trips over a box that he hadn’t seen, and he looks down at his feet for a second in confusion. How had he missed that? 

When he looks back up, everything is blurry. Granted, it had been blurry before, but nowhere near as bad as this. Everything he sees is just light and color, all of it blurring together so much that he can’t pick anything out. 

He sees one vague shape approach him, and then it speaks to him in Hank’s voice, but there’s a whooshing sound in his head that makes it impossible to hear what he’s saying. Oh no, he thinks, because this cannot be good, and then his legs start to shake underneath him, and he wants very much to call out to Hank, but a sudden spike of nausea deems that action unwise, and before he can think of some alternative method of alerting Hank to his distress, he’s collapsing to the ground. 

--

Nick wakes up on the uncomfortable and immediately recognizable material of the break room couch. He’s absolutely freezing, and there’s something cold and wet on his forehead which is definitely not helping matters. He reaches up a hand to move it away, but someone grabs his wrist, and he looks up blearily, recognizing the vague, slightly blurred shape of Hank.

“You have a fever, Nick,” he says, putting Nick’s hand back down on the couch. “And I know you’re probably freezing right now, but your body temperature isn’t. You need to leave that cloth where it is. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but it’s going to make you feel better.”

Nick doesn’t like Hank’s words much, because they mean he is going to have to continue being cold, but he trusts Hank, so he listens and doesn’t try to move anything, noting with some distress that his body feels frankly awful, besides simply feeling cold. He groans, vague memories of earlier in the day spilling into his head. He’s sick. Really sick.

“I’m sick,” he observes, brilliantly, closing his eyes to avoid looking around at the blurry, nauseating colors of his workplace.

“I know,” Hank replies, his voice soft and kind. “And we’ll be having a talk about coming in to work sick when you’re feeling better,” he adds, his voice still kind. He places a far-too-cold hand on Nick’s cheek (which, little can he tell, is far too warm). “You’ve gotta take better care of yourself, man.”

Nick sighs softly in response, too sick to formulate a true reply. “Thanks,” he decides is an appropriate reply. He takes a deep breath, feeling himself teetering on the edge of sleep.

“Feel better,” Hank says, noticing Nick’s tiredness and patting him on the shoulder as he pushes himself up from where he’s been kneeling on the floor next to the couch. 

“I’ll try,” Nick murmurs, and then he drifts back off to sleep.

thanks for reading this!!! i hope you liked it :)

[therainroguefanfiction]

❉ 139 Dreams (Kazuki Juumonji) Aftermath

📑 Table of Contents

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Romance ☁

Word Count: 1,415 ☁

Pairing: Reader x Juumonji Kazuki ☁

World: Anime, Eyeshield 21 ☁

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: . ☁

You stared at Monta and Sena skeptically as they tried to persuade you to go running with them. You weren’t exactly the most athletic person in the world and you tried to avoid running (or physical activity in general) as much as possible. Being friends with people on the football team made that slightly difficult…

“Come on, it’ll be fun to the Max!” Monta grinned, grabbing onto one of your arms.

Sena nodded, grabbing your other arm. “Just this once?”

You let out a sigh of defeat, knowing that you couldn’t say no to Sena when he used that puppy dog face. “Fine. But don’t expect much! I’m not a runner!”

The two boys nodded enthusiastically, chorusing an “Of course!” before dragging you to the football field where Hiruma and the others were waiting.

“You’re late! Ya-ha!” Hiruma laughed in a psychotic manner, holding two automatic guns and firing them into the air.

“So-Sorry!” Sena cried, shaking slightly at the intimidating blonde.

Hiruma moved his eyes to meet yous before his mouth pulled up in a grin, showing off his extremely sharp teeth. Clearly, he was plotting something, and it sent a shiver up your spine. “Yosh! Let’s get going!”

As the group started to head off, you missed the light blonde haired male that stared at you, his cheeks harboring a small tinge of pink.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: . ☁

You wheezed, your chest aching painfully as you attempted to continue walking. Your feet were aching and your legs felt like jello; it was agonizing.

Everything had been going well – at first. You were able to keep a nice pace alongside Eyeshield and Monta…. until Hiruma intervened, causing the two rivals to have a race to see who could get back to school first, leaving you in the dust without a second thought.

You ran and ran and ran and ran, pushing yourself harder than you ever had before in an attempt to keep up with them, but they slowly faded into the horizon until they vanished from your sight altogether. And to make matters worse, they had left you behind in an area that you had never been in before.

So, here you were, barely able to stand and feeling like you were about to pass out, lost in an area you had never even seen before. You thought that, maybe, if you pushed hard enough you could manage to find a familiar area and be able to make it back without a problem. But fate was not on your side. No matter how far you walked, you couldn’t find a single familiar street. It was all foreign to you. You were lost and going in circles.

Finally, after two hours of trying to return home, you stopped, falling to your knees in a wide alley before hitting the cold cement. Despite how cold it was, it wasn’t enough to cool down your burning body. Every part of you felt like it was on fire. You were covered in sweat and couldn’t move a single inch. Your lungs burned as you breathed in and out heavily, eyes squeezed shut.

It was beginning to get dark, the sun having just set. The sky slowly became darker, the street lights coming on in a poor attempt to imitate the sun.

You knew you were screwed. You were too tired to move and you had left your cell phone at home that morning. You were probably dehydrated, too. You didn’t know the area, so you weren’t sure if anyone would mess with you or not. Even if they did, there was no way you’d be able to fight them off, not in the state you were currently in.

It may have just been the pounding of your head or the fact that your heart had split and gone into your ear and legs, but you could swear you heard the sound of rushed footsteps.

Was this your end?

You felt pathetic. You couldn’t even touch the football team and, instead, were laying in the middle of god knows where unable to move. Sure, you were un-athletic, but this was just downright pathetic!

Only half of your tired mind was conscious, but you managed to pick up the sound of your name being called. It was faint, sounding as if it was very far away. You couldn’t answer even if you wanted to; your throat was bone dry.

Through blurry, half-opened eyes, you managed to see a pair of shoes appear in front of you before you felt yourself being picked up. You grunted in pain at the movement before finally letting the darkness claim you.

Why did you ever listen to Monta and Sena?

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: . ☁

A groan passed your pale lips as your eyes slowly peeled open to stare at a bright white ceiling. Had you died?

Remembering what had happened, you shot up from the bed you were lying on, instantly regretting it when pain shot through your legs and back, making you groan in pain as your hands tightened around the sheet.

“Oi, you shouldn’t be moving.” A pair of strong hands grabbed your shoulders, gently pushing you back into a lying position before resting on your forehead.

Your whole body was in pain, but most of it was focused in your feet and legs. After lying still for a few moments, you slowly opened your eyes. You had to blink a few times before your eyes could focus properly. You were surprised to see just who was standing at your side, waiting for you to wake up.

“Juumonji..?” You questioned, voice cracking; you felt so thirsty.

He nodded lightly, removing his hand from your forehead. Was it your wild imagination… or did he actually look worried?

“What… What happened?” You groaned, attempting to sit up again.

He handed you a glass of water, his hand against your back to help you stay sitting up. “Drink this. It’ll help.”

You nodded, taking the glass from his hand and swallowing about half of the cold liquid that sat in the glass. It coated your dry throat, making it feel tight before the feeling started to fade. You were more thankful for water at that moment than you had ever been in your whole life. “Thank you.”

“You’re really not a runner… are you?” He muttered, rubbing your back lightly.

“Che. I tried to tell them that.” You scoffed, looking away from the male at your side. You felt so embarrassed by the whole situation.

“I found you passed out in the middle of an alley. You were breathing pretty heavy, and your face was red.” He mused, staring intently at you.

You scratched your cheek with an index finger, looking anywhere but at Juumonji. You had to admit, you were surprised that he was the one to save you. Normally he was the kind of guy to not care about anything or anyone, must less a pitiful person like yourself. You let a sigh pass your lips at the thought.

“I uhh… I’m glad… that you’re okay.” He rubbed the back of his head and looked away from you. Try as he might, he couldn’t hide the pink spreading across his cheeks.

You blinked in surprise, resting your palm against his warm cheek. “Thank you, Kazuki.”

The pink deepened at your touch and he slowly rose his hand to cover your own. “I-It was nothing!”

You grinned, pushing yourself forward until your lips reached his own. The action made you blush, but it was un-noticeable due to the flush of redness from your run. Juumonji shook his head and decided that a small peck wasn’t a big enough reward to satisfy him for his deed. He grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him. Without hesitation, he crashed his lips against yours, pushing you back onto the bed and crawling on top of her, careful to balance his weight to keep from hurting your already sore body.

The aftermath of your decision consisted of you barely being able to move for the next three days, having to rely on Juumonji every time your legs began to buckle. It was hard having to go through school while still being so sore, but with Juumonji at your side, you managed. It was a painful experience, but you were happy that you had gone through it. The experience itself may not have been very fun, but the result of it was amazing – it was something you would value for years to come.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: . ☁

📜 Read more by checking out my masterlist 📜

[splendidlyimperfect]

An accidental hair-pulling incident during a fistfight leaves both Gray and Natsu with uncomfortable feelings about each other than neither of them are willing to face. But when Gray slips into depression and stops taking care of himself, Natsu has to step up, and they’re both forced to face the questions they don’t want to answer.

@ao3feed-gratsu​ 

Chapter Summary: Gray's overwhelmed, and Natsu is there to ground him.

Chapters (4/?): 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster Characters: Natsu Dragneel, Gray Fullbuster, Lucy Heartfilia, Erza Scarlet, Happy (Fairy Tail), Wendy Marvell Additional Tags: Fluff and Angst, Hair-pulling, Hair Brushing, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mild Smut, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Gray’s bad at taking care of himself, Natsu calls him an idiot a lot, neither of them wants to admit they’re in love, Tumblr: FTLGBTales, Depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Gray’s bad at feelings and Natsu’s done with his shit

**TW for panic attack and very brief mention of suicidal thoughts

-----

It takes a second for Gray to realize that Natsu is kissing him. Suddenly, the ache in his chest is battling with a low, thrumming sensation in his stomach. He exhales sharply, and when Natsu moves to pull away, Gray quickly reaches up and wraps a hand around the back of his neck.

“Please,” Gray whispers, and he’s not sure exactly what he’s asking for. “Please, I need...”

“I know,” Natsu says, running both hands up into Gray’s hair. His voice is low and rough and Gray suddenly realizes that Natsu’s crying too. “I know.”

Then he’s kissing Gray again, hot and desperate, thumb rubbing the ache out of Gray’s temple as his other hand tucks Gray’s hair gently behind his ear. Gray can’t help the small, frantic sounds that flood out of him as he runs his fingers down Natsu’s arm and grips his hand.

“Hey,” Natsu murmurs against Gray’s lips. He tries to pull back again and Gray’s fingers tighten around the back of his neck.

“I can’t—please don’t—”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Natsu reassures him, rubbing his thumb across the back of Gray’s hand. “I’m right here.” He presses his forehead to Gray’s, and despite the fact that they’re touching almost everywhere else, the small gesture feels almost too intimate. It’s terrifying, and Gray suddenly sits up, tugging at his hand and rubbing his face as a hot, dizzying flush creeps up the back of his neck.

Continue reading on AO3

“Gray,” Natsu says gently, refusing to let go of his hand. Gray’s never heard Natsu say his name like that. Everything is going blurry, the air around him suddenly far too hot. “Gray, look at me.”

“I can’t,” Gray chokes out, “I can’t, and—it's not... there’s...”

“Breathe, Snowflake,” Natsu says, taking Gray’s hand and pressing it to his chest. His heart thrums under Gray’s fingertips, wild and erratic and so alive. “C’mon, breathe with me.”

Natsu’s scarf is still around Gray’s shoulders and it itches, like pieces of broken glass dragging against his skin. He tries to pull it off, but he can’t feel his hands.

“Deep breaths,” Natsu murmurs, chest rising and falling under Gray’s fingertips. “You’re okay. It’s just you and me here, you’re safe.”

Natsu’s voice is soft and low as he runs his hand through Gray’s hair. Gray remembers hearing him talk like this once, only once, to a little girl who’d been caught in the crossfire of two warring dark guilds. She’d been hiding in a house that was about to collapse, and Natsu had surprised everyone by crouching down and coaxing her gently into his arms.

Gray’s in Natsu’s arms now, and he wants to feel safe, but he’s too hot and his skin is itching and the sound of Natsu’s voice is drowned out by the roaring in his ears. Everything’s blurry and he’s sweating, and he can’t breathe and—

“Gray!” Natsu’s voice breaks through the panic and Gray lets out a sharp gasp as he looks down at their joined hands. Frost stretches from Gray’s fingers up over Natsu’s arms, making pretty white patterns against his dark brown skin.

“Shit,” Gray breathes, trying to pull the magic back. It doesn’t listen to him, though, and it’s like he’s eight again, ice exploding around him and shattering the windows of Ur’s cabin because he can’t stop crying. “Fuck, shit, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Natsu reassures him, pushing a bit of his own magic against Gray’s until the ice melts and his skin is damp instead of frozen. Gray stares at the wisps of steam that rise up around them, following the complicated patterns as he tries his best to keep breathing.

~

Gray’s still shaking, but he’s breathing now, and Natsu pulls him close in relief, kissing the top of his head. “You’re okay,” he says softly. “We’re okay.”

All the terrified tension in Gray’s body seems to melt away as he slumps against Natsu, letting go of Natsu’s hand and wrapping an arm around him instead. Gray’s fingers clutch at the fabric of Natsu’s shirt like it’s the only thing keeping him here.

“’m sorry,” he mumbles, but Natsu shakes his head. They’re touching everywhere, now, and Natsu’s afraid to let go. Gray’s shivering, even with Natsu’s natural heat and the scarf draped around his shoulders.

“We should find somewhere to sleep,” Natsu says gently. He could keep them warm with his magic; he learned a long time ago to make flames that didn’t hurt. But with Gray so far gone in his memories, it’s probably not the best idea.

Gray seems like he might argue for a second, but then he slowly nods against Natsu’s chest. “I don’t even know where we are,” he admits quietly.

“There’s a town pretty close to here,” Natsu says. “You think you can walk?” He’s expecting a grumpy remark or sarcastic comment, but instead Gray just presses his face against Natsu’s chest.

“’m tired.”

“I know,” Natsu says, running his fingers through Gray’s hair again. “When was the last time you slept?”

Gray doesn’t answer, and Natsu sighs. “C’mon,” he says, gently nudging Gray off him so he can stand up. He takes Gray’s hand and pulls him to his feet, refusing to let go. He's terrified that if he doesn’t hold on, Gray will run away again.

Gray looks like he’s going to fall over, so Natsu turns around and pulls Gray close. “Up,” he says, motioning for Gray to get onto his back. Gray makes a quiet, unconvincing sound of protest, but then his arms are wrapped around Natsu’s neck and his forehead’s pressed to Natsu’s shoulder.

Natsu looks up at the sky, quickly finding north and making a mental map of the area. Then he turns toward the town and starts walking, carrying Gray through the night.

~

Gray wakes up slowly surrounded by a comfortable warmth. He yawns, rubbing his face and squinting around the unfamiliar room. Then he looks down at the arm wrapped around his waist and realizes that he’s not alone in the bed.

Oh.

Gray stills. His shirt must have ridden up at some point during the night, and Natsu’s hand is splayed across his bare stomach. Every time he moves, Gray shivers, unconsciously pressing back against Natsu’s warmth. He drops his hand down to cover Natsu’s, torn between sliding their fingers together, or pushing Natsu off him.

“Don’t even think about trying to run away.” Natsu’s sleepy voice is muffled against the back of Gray’s neck, and he adds, “And don’t pretend that’s not what you were gonna do.”

“I wasn’t—”

“Gray.” Natsu pulls him closer. “I know you.”

Gray lets out a shaky breath, giving in and dropping his hand onto Natsu’s. His face feels hot, his skin is tight and uncomfortable, and he suddenly really, really wants a shower.

“’m not gonna go anywhere,” he insists, tugging at Natsu’s arm until Natsu relents enough for him to roll onto his back. Yesterday’s breakdown is slowly coming back to him, and he covers his face with both hands, groaning with embarrassment.

He’d told Natsu. He’d talked about his mom. He’d cried in Natsu’s fucking arms, which is just…

“Shit,” he mumbles.

Natsu sighs, pushing himself up until he’s sitting cross-legged on the bed next to Gray. A charged silence fills the air between them, and Gray’s not sure what to do with it. A thousand thoughts race through his mind, twisting together so he can’t separate them and focus on one thing at a time. He grips the blanket tighter as the familiar panic starts to swell in his chest again.

Natsu’s soft, uncertain voice breaks through Gray’s racing thoughts. “Were you going to come back?” Gray looks up at Natsu, frowning, and the ache in his chest intensifies at the sorrowful expression on Natsu’s face. “To the guild,” Natsu clarifies. “To us. To… to me?”

Gray wants to say yes. He wants to promise Natsu that he wasn’t going to disappear, that he wasn’t thinking about ending everything because he just can’t fucking do this anymore. “I...” He can’t lie to Natsu. “I don’t know.”

~

A piece of Natsu’s heart cracks at the uncertainty in Gray’s voice, at the way he won’t quite meet Natsu’s eyes.

“Gray,” he says gently. Gray stares down at his hands, expression somewhere between heartbroken and exhausted, and Natsu suddenly can’t think of a single reason why he’s never told Gray how he feels. All the denial and name-calling and thinking about kissing Gray but hitting him instead – it all feels so insignificant next to Gray’s pain.

He reaches out and takes Gray’s hand.

“I’m sorry,” Gray whispers, and he tugs half-heartedly against Natsu’s grip.

“Don’t,” Natsu says, squeezing Gray’s fingers and bringing his other hand up to brush Gray’s hair out of his face. “Please don’t push me away.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” Gray whispers, voice so quiet that Natsu can barely hear it. “I… I can’t…” Natsu sighs, shifting closer and pulling Gray into his arms.

“Loving people is scary,” he says softly. “I get it. I loved Igneel more than I loved anything in the world, and he disappeared, and for the longest time I thought it was because of me. Maybe I didn’t love him hard enough, or I did something wrong, or if I’d just been better or smarter or…”  

Gray shakes his head against Natsu’s shoulder. “It wasn’t your fault,” he insists.

“And it wasn’t yours, either,” Natsu says, kissing Gray’s forehead. “What happened to you, to your parents, to Ur…” He trails off, running his hand up and down Gray’s back. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I can’t imagine how awful it must have been.”

Gray doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t pull away, either, which Natsu takes as a good sign. They sit in silence for a while as the late afternoon sun pushes its way through the curtains and the sound of the city spills in through the open window. Gray’s breathing is calm and steady against Natsu, and for a moment, Natsu thinks Gray might have fallen back asleep.

Then Gray says, very quietly, “You kissed me.”

Natsu can’t help the laugh that escapes him as he holds Gray closer. “Yeah,” he says softly. “I did.”

~

Gray frowns, pulling back and studying Natsu’s face. He’d expected Natsu to deny it, or at the least get flustered, but his gaze stays on Gray, strong and steady. Gray can’t look away, even when his stomach twists like he’s in free-fall and his hands start to tremble.

“Why?” Gray asks. The question makes him wince as soon as it’s between them because it feels needy and desperate, but Natsu doesn’t laugh.

“Because I wanted to,” he says quietly. “I, uh… have for a while.”

“Oh,” Gray says, and he’s pretty sure he should say something else, but he’s not sure he can be honest the way Natsu is. Yesterday was already so much, and there’s a messy tangle of feelings in the space where Gray normally keeps his calm.

“I’m tired of pretending,” Natsu says after a moment. “It’s been… god, years, that I’ve felt like this, and then you left, and what if I hadn’t found you?” He looks at Gray, eyes dark and serious. “That whole week, when I was looking for you – I kept thinking, what if you were dead? What if you—you’d gotten hurt, or you…” Natsu swallows. “And you’re here now, and we’re both bad at saying this stuff, but I care about you and I want you to be okay.”

Natsu’s words sink under Gray’s skin, soothing the low thrumming sensation that’s trying to drive him back to the edge.

“I want to be okay, too,” he says.

“Then stop running away,” Natsu says, taking Gray hand and squeezing it. “Come back with me. Let me help you. Let other people help you. Please.”

Gray sighs, and when Natsu brushes his hair out of his face again, he leans into Natsu’s hand. The touch feels good – grounding and real. “I don’t know…” Gray groans in frustration. “It’s so much. There’s so much, and it’s just – I can’t sleep, and then I can’t eat, and I’m so tired all the time, and angry, and everything sets me off and it’s all so much.”

“I know,” Natsu says, shifting close to Gray again. “And you just bottle it up, then you either pass out or run away.” Gray wants to argue, but he knows Natsu’s right. “There are better ways of dealing with your shit.”

“Like what?”

“Therapy.” Natsu says the word so matter-of-factly, and Gray groans, slumping back onto the pillows. “Yeah, I know.” Natsu laughs as he nudges Gray over and settles down beside him. “But wouldn’t it be better than this?”

“Dunno,” Gray mumbles, shifting closer and resting his head on Natsu’s shoulder. “This isn’t so bad.”

Natsu flicks Gray’s ear. “You know what I mean, idiot.”

“Mm.” Gray sighs deeply, letting the warm contentment of being held by Natsu keep the ache at bay. It feels right, somehow. Safe. “Okay,” he says.

“Okay?”

“I’ll… try.” Gray looks up at Natsu. “Therapy, or… whatever.”

“Promise?”

The intensity of Natsu’s stare makes Gray’s cheeks burn hot, and he reaches out slowly, brushing his fingertips across Natsu’s cheek. “Promise,” he says softly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind Natsu’s ear. Natsu lets out a happy sigh, then tips his head, kissing Gray’s palm. Gray inhales sharply at the sensation of Natsu’s lips against his skin.

“Sorry,” Natsu says quickly as a pink flush creeps into his cheeks. “I didn’t mean—I know you’re overwhelmed and that probably wasn’t the best timi—“

“You talk too much,” Gray interrupts, running his fingers into Natsu’s hair. Natsu’s about to keep arguing when Gray tugs lightly, and the words dissolve into a quiet gasp. “That’s better,” Gray says, then pulls Natsu in and kisses him.

Everything broken inside Gray slides into place under the gentle pressure of Natsu’s lips on his. Natsu’s hands find their way to Gray’s shoulders and he pulls Gray closer, until they’re touching in as many places as possible.

It’s perfect and terrifying, and Gray lets himself fall into the feelings he’s been pushing away for so long.

“So… years, huh?” Gray asks eventually, trying to keep his voice steady as he tightens his fingers in Natsu’s hair again. Natsu makes a sound that’s somewhere between a growl and a sigh as he pulls Gray closer to him.

“Yeah,” he breathes, pulling Gray in for another kiss. “Years.”

“Me too,” Gray says against Natsu’s lips, and pushes him back into the bed to kiss him some more. 

[kd-holloman]

Green

My world had been black for as long as I could remember. I knew my family by my other senses. My father was the scent of grapes, the wiry texture of his beard, and the calluses on his hands. My mother was the smell of baking bread and the sound of her skirts swishing as she walked. Karolina always stomped wherever she went and Geordie always reeked of sweat and the stables when he returned home. 

I knew colors, but they meant different things to me than they did everyone else. Yellow was the scent of straw drying in the summer sun. Brown was the color of Karolina’s hair when she asked me to comb it, soft and silken beneath my fingertips. Red was the color Geordie’s skin, warm to the touch, when he spent too much time in the sun. But, ever since I was a little girl, green had always been my favorite. 

I hadn’t been any older than eight or nine when one of the vendors in the market had slipped us candy while my mother hadn’t been looking. It had been hard and smelled of the mint herbs mother used to make tea. It had been very sweet on my tongue, tasting strongly of sugar with the sharp bite of wintergreen. “What color is it?” I had asked Karolina around the candy in my cheek. 

“Green,” she’d said. 

Ever since, green had been my favorite color. 

As I laid on the witch’s table, a terrible, smelly something was boiling over the crackling hearth to my right. There was rough burlap-like strip of fabric wound tightly over my eyes, keeping the ointment smeared across my eyelids from spreading. 

My chest felt heavy, it was hard to breathe. I was afraid. 

My mother and father had gotten into a fight—one of their loudest yet—after I had tripped and fallen down the narrow staircase at home. I always counted the steps, there were twelve of them, but I must have missed one.

Father had forbidden my mother to take me to the witch's cottage, to which my mother had slammed something down on the table and shouted, “Enough is enough, William! I will not bury our child!” I had never heard her so furious. 

At my head, I could hear the witch. It sounded like she was crushing something with a pestle. Her voice was the sound of autumn leaves skidding across the cobblestones when she said, “We are ready.” 

“Are you sure this is going to work?” Mother asked quietly. 

“If you did not think it would work, why did you pay me?” Her hands were rough as she seized my head with bony fingers, to keep my chin straight. “Hold still, child.” 

I did as she instructed. I gripped the wooden boards beneath me with a white-knuckled grip. What if doesn’t work?

When I asked Mother about the witch, she had told me not to get my hopes up. I had done my best, but hope was inevitable; She had planted the seed in my heart, I felt it grow and blossom. It was beautiful, but dangerous. It smelled like the poisonous plants at the edge of the wood, sweet and overly perfumed.  

I tried not to cough and turn my face away, overwhelmed by the scent of cloves and dirt. The powder the witch sprinkled over my face tickled where it brushed against my skin.

The witch began to chant in an unfamiliar tongue, moving around the table in a series of rhythmic stomps. The smell of smoke and burning plants followed her as she went. She made her way back to my head. 

A terrified squeak slipped between my lips as she grabbed my head between her hands and shook it softly. 

Her chanting grew louder. 

I could feel warmth radiating from her palms. It tingled, it prickling my eyes. It burned like a spilled cup of tea, hot and sudden beneath my skin.

Her chanting rose and swelled, her voice coming from somewhere deep within her chest, loud enough to hurt my ears. Her once soft and delicate voice became a roar, the same way thunder rattled the window panes. 

My eyes were burning, hot and cold at the same time. I shivered, feeling both feverish and chilled. My skin felt like it was tingling, the way my leg did if I sat on it wrong.

As suddenly as the chanting started, the witch stopped. “Sit up, child.”

I sat still as she unknotted the blindfold and pulled it from my eyes. I tried not to flinch as she dabbed the ointment from my eyelids. 

My heart was beating so fast that I felt like a fly had hatched in my chest. I rubbed my palms against my skirts while the woman worked. “Will I be able to see?” 

“If it worked.” The witch’s breath was unpleasant as it blew across my face.

“C-Can I open them?” 

There was shuffle as she stepped back. “You may.” 

I couldn’t bring myself to do it, not yet. “Mama, could you help me outside? I want to see outside.” 

She was at my elbow before I finished, her fingers familiar and gentle where it curled around my arm. Her muscles were tense beneath her skin, tight with worry. “Of course, my dear.” 

My stomach lurched into my throat as I slid from the table, but I managed to steady myself once my feet were on the floor. The scary thing about being blind was that you never knew how far you were falling.

“Careful now, Mary, the cobblestones are a bit uneven,” she murmured as she guided me away from the table. 

I shuffled after her, my walking stick long forgotten. When I felt the spongy texture of the grass beneath my shoes, I took in a slow breath. It shuddered on the exhale. “I’m nervous,” I said.

Her hand was soft where it touched my face. “Take your time, dear.” 

“What if it doesn’t work?” 

“Then, the witch will hang.” 

I didn’t wish ill-will upon the witch. She had been kind enough to treat my blindness for the price of one of our milking goats and a basket of freshly baked bread. I knew my mother wouldn’t listen to my reason. Father always said that his wife was a stubborn thing, forged from the same type of iron that her blacksmith father had used to make his living. 

I could hear the hope in my mother’s voice, “Go on, Mary, open them.” 

I sucked in one more steadying breath and opened my eyes. 

Color erupted before me, blurry and out of focus. I blinked several times until they started to spread and form shapes. The shapes soon became objects and I was unable to hold back my wonder as I shouted, “I can see!” 

Mother grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into a hug. When she looked back at me, she was smiling. Her face lined with tired creases. I touched her face, remembering the way it had felt against my hand for years and years. 

I pulled my hand back and looked at the moisture glistening on it. “Wet,” I said quietly. “You are crying? Why?” 

“I’m happy for you, dear.” 

I smiled back at her and looked past her to the thick forest bordering the garden of the witch’s cottage. “Everything is so bright and beautiful!” I walked, for the first time, without a cane to the forest’s edge. I touched something the size of my palm. I remembered the veiny underside, the smooth texture of the top, and sound it made when the wind blew. 

“Leaves?” I asked, looking over my shoulder at her. 

She nodded.

I ran a finger down the length of the leaf. “What color is this?” 

My mother seemed a little puzzled by the question, but she answered nonetheless, “green.” 

“Green.” 

A smile split my face, my heart was overflowing with joy! I couldn’t believe it! “Green? I love green!” 

Elation bubbled from the center of my chest, spilling into the air in the form of a laugh. I took off running through the field adjacent to the cottage, feeling the stalks of the grass pass beneath my hands. It smelled like a spring day and I was giddy with it. “Green!” I shouted to the sky. I spun in circles, watching the colors of the world blur again and again until I fell down. 

I sprawled out on my back, staring up at the sky. Blue. I remember Karolina telling me that the sky was blue, the clouds were white, the sun was yellow. Without being able to touch, I hadn’t fully been able to understand. Now, I knew because I could see!

“Mary,” Mother called from the witch’s cottage. “Mary, come back! We have to get home before your father goes into fits!” 

“Coming, Mama!” I laughed and rolled in the grass one more time. 

Green. My favorite color was green. 

[unicyclehippo]

Dina would be like “ I love you please kiss me” and Ellies the type of person to be like “AS FRIENDS OR..?” I swear lmao

jdkfjskhfhaksjs check this out it’s not exactly the same but ellie is equally stupid

//

‘hey george, thanks for getting me,’ ellie says quietly, following her friend into the garden behind greenhouse six. it’s an over grown tangle, which is only permitted because it’s where the squash monstrosity lives and grows and because it’s basically smack bang in the centre of the settlement, meaning if raiders ever did get to this point, they’re all already screwed. that’s ellie’s reasoning, anyway. ‘where is she?’

ellie scans the garden. beyond the shift and away of bodies dancing to the music that crackles from the radio, she picks out flashes of colour and detail as she searches intently for dina—the plastic lanterns, the fragments of broken CDs repurposed into glittering decorations, the overturned buckets and crates scattered around the room, the paint splattered over the wall in reds too close to blood for ellie’s comfort.

‘i don’t see—‘ ellie breaks off, lips flattening with displeasure. she skirts the room, not wanting to disturb the others and not wanting to be slowed down, and when she makes it to dina’s side, she takes frank larkin’s hand from where it has strayed to dina’s ass and squeezes until he yelps. when he tries to tug away, she helps him take his hand off dina, guides her friend behind her instead.

dina doesn’t seem to notice, or mind.

‘evenin’, frank.’

‘ellie,’ he greets her just as tersely. ‘mind letting go of my hand there?’

‘depends on what you’re planning to do with it, i reckon,’ she tells him, but after a moment she lets his hand drop.

rubbing at it, frank glares at her and takes a step back. ‘we were just dancin’,’

‘yeah and you know if she weren’t drunk as shit she wouldn’t give you the time of day. keep walking, larkin.’

‘keep being a bitch, williams,’ he mutters as he slinks away and dina—dina who has since draped herself across ellie’s back and started swaying to the radio’s safety reminder—perks up.

‘shut the fuck up, frank! shut up! don’t you call her a bitch!’

‘alright slugger,’ ellie sighs and she turns, hoists dina off her feet and just about carries her out of the garden party. a full minute of walking, dina refusing to help since ellie is doing such a good job of it, brings them to a bench and ellie sets her down on it, has to keep unwinding dina’s arms from around her neck. after the third time, ellie kneels and holds both of dina’s hands in hers.

‘you are,’ dina says, looking down at her with unfocused eyes, ‘like, you’re so pretty.’

‘thank you. how much did you drink?’

‘oh, like,’ dina’s head lolls to the side in an uncoordinated tilt as she considers the question. ‘a lot.’

‘okay then.’

‘are you mad at me?’ dina asks, trying to twist one hand free of ellie’s gentle hold. when it feels like she might actually hurt herself, ellie lets her go and she can’t find it in herself to be surprised that dina’s hand immediately settles on her shoulder, winding her fingers into ellie’s hair.

‘i’m not mad at you. do you wanna try walking again?’ dina nods and with ellie’s help she stands. ‘i’ll take you to your room,’ ellie tells her, which was a mistake because dina scowls and sits again, tucks her ankle around the leg of the bench so ellie can’t make her stand again. ‘oh my god,’ ellie breathes. rubbing at her forehead, she crouches again. doesn’t even bother trying to avoid dina’s reaching hands. ‘dina, what’s wrong?’

‘you’re mad at me,’

‘i’m not.’

‘if you weren’t mad, you’d,’ dina blinks, looking a bit unsure. ‘you’d take me home.’

‘i am going to take you home.’

‘ellie, ellie,’ dina brushes clammy fingers over her cheek, misses and nearly jabs ellie in the eye but then her palm settles and she pats once, strokes the tiniest bit with her fingers. ‘ellie,’ she whispers again, ‘to your home.’

‘do you want to come to my room?’ ellie offers, too tired to even bother deciphering what dina might be thinking.

‘i thought you’d never ask,’ dina teases, slipping forward on the chair. ‘also, i’m gonna puke.’

//

after ellie helps her to the garden bed, and studiously avoids listening to dina retch as she scrapes dina’s hair off her face and rubs soothing circles over her back, ellie more or less carries dina to her house and knocks until joel opens the door.

‘whoa, what happened to her?’

‘definitely not alcohol?’

a smile flickers at the corner of joel’s lips and then is gone. ‘got it. come on, i’ll get her some water, you get her on the couch.’

‘thanks, joel, you’re the best.’

he grunts.

ellie readjusts her grip on dina, grimaces when dina buries her face in ellie’s neck. ‘please don’t puke on me.’ dina mumbles something unintelligible and not in english and ellie rubs her back. ‘almost time to sleep, stay awake just a bit more, okay? will you do that for me?’

dina nods, maybe, and ellie crosses the room, eases her down onto the couch. she stops her when dina immediately makes to lie down.

‘joel’s coming with some water, stay awake a little longer.’

‘m’kay,’ dina slurs. ‘you’re taking care of me,’ she says with a little wonder, ‘that’s so nice of you.’

‘you’d do the same for me.’ ellie smiles down at her, smoothes a kink of hair back from her face. it’s kind of endearing to see dina like this, now that she’s passed the puking phase. she takes the cup joel hands her, nods when he pats her shoulder and leaves her to it. ‘here, dina. drink this.’

‘i—think i’ve had enough,’

‘oh now you realise,’ ellie mutters quietly, just to herself. more loudly, she says, ‘it’s water.’ dina turns her head away and ellie is tired enough to want to not push it but she’d rather dina not wake up with a hangover to top all hangovers so she persists, cupping dina’s cheek. ‘please, for me?’

dina’s eyes go suspiciously wet. ‘for you,’ she agrees, and chugs the water down, throws the cup to the ground. the plastic clatters a few times before rolling under the armchair across the room.

‘good call on the plastic, joel,’ ellie murmurs, again to herself. ‘good job, thank you.’

‘you,’ dina pauses, presses a hand to her chest and swallows down a burp. ellie hopes it was a burp. ‘you’re welcome. i love you.’

ellie’s heart lurches at the words, the least slurred of everything dina has said since she collected her, and she smiles to her like she never dares to when dina isn’t drunk, with all the tenderness and esteem and care she normally keeps carefully in check. dina’s eyes widen. ‘i love you too,’ ellie tells her. ‘go to sleep, okay?’

//

dina wakes ellie in the morning, smelling strongly of ellie’s shampoo and of half a tube of toothpaste.

‘hey,’ ellie grunts. ‘morning.’

Mmorning, hero.’

there’s an almighty crick in her neck and ellie groans, straightens from her seat on the floor between the couch and the coffee table. she rubs at her neck, sighs with relief when it pops and she rolls out her shoulders.

‘i’m getting too old for that.’

‘eighteen,’ dina grins. ‘positively ancient.’

ellie returns the grin, heaves herself up onto the couch and stretches her arms over her head, yawns. her hands flop down into her lap and she blinks her eyes open again, bleary and a little blurry, and catches the tail end of a slightly flustered look dina throws to the ceiling.

‘you good?’

‘hmm?’

‘no hangover?’

‘big one,’ dina tells her with a grimace. ‘but the water helped—and joel made me the greasiest breakfast ever, so i’m well on my way to recovery.’

ellie frowns. ‘where’s my breakfast?’

‘you slept through it.’

‘what the fuck?’ ellie breathes, offended. ‘see if i come get you again if that’s how you treat me.’

dina tilts her head. it’s unfair how pretty the smile she directs at ellie is; soft and sweet and slow, brimming with affection until it overflows and a little dimple pops in her right cheek. ‘you would,’ she says knowingly.

ellie breathes out a shaky breath, wipes her palms on the coarse fabric of her jeans. ‘yeah, well, i’m dumb like that. never learn,’ she laughs quietly. her laugh dies when dina switches from her seat on the coffee table to the couch right next to her.

‘i love it about you,’ dina tells her, eyes bright. ‘you know that, don’t you?’

‘i—well,’ ellie blinks. pulls herself sharply under control, ignoring her sweating palms and thundering heart. ‘someone’s gotta look after you.’

‘my hero,’ dina says again, quietly, and she leans in until their shoulders brush together. her eyes dip for a second before returning to ellie’s eyes and ellie thinks distantly that she must be very close for her to be able to see the flecks of lighter brown through dina’s iris’s. ‘how about a kiss for your trouble?’ she whispers, and when ellie’s head wobbles a little—a nod, hopefully—dina leans in until her breath puffs warm over the corner of ellie’s lips.

ellie’s eyes flutter closed. she curls her hands into tight fists in her lap to keep from reaching for dina. skin tingling, when dina’s lips actually press to the corner of her mouth, it feels like an electric shock right through her and ellie’s breath catches with an embarrassingly loud hitch.

dina’s nose skates over her cheek before she pulls back.

‘thank you, ellie.’

‘I -,’ ellie licks her lips, shivers when her tongue brushes against where dina had kissed her. ‘i wasn’t about to let anything happen to you,’ she says, avoiding dina’s gaze and instead watching her hands, picking at a loose stitch on her jeans. ‘you’re my best friend, i don’t know what i’d do if you got hurt.’

[ghiblisprite88]

To the Stars 10

I want to say sorry folks for the long ass wait; I have recently moved and could not find the teime to write like I wanted too. Please enjoy!

Chapter 10

Hushed voices reached your ears; it was warm you noticed, no longer were you out in the snow. However, the dull ache and pains from being tossed from your shuttle like a rag doll were still present. You could feel blankets that weighed heavily on top of you; it was getting hot under them making you sweat. Try as you might move it was a feeble effort; barely able to crack open an eye you could see the blurry silhouettes of two people talking but couldn’t make them out.

“It is nostalgic having you home Jimin, and to bring such galactic garbage with you too.” A woman’s curt tone reached your ears.

“Eomma I took care of them didn’t I? Besides, they were following her; she had been a bit reckless to save Jungkook.”

“You wish to scold her when she wakes after she put her life on the line to save his sorry self? He should have been more vigilant and protected her; when will you boys stop acting like children and protect your own?” The woman spoke hotly.

“Eomma...we are all safe now that's all that matters.”

“When were you going to mention she is your mate?”

“I...uh...well.”

“Mmhmm thought so. She will come around soon; go look after the human before he has a heart attack.” The woman ushered him out.

If you had the strength you would have smiled at the exchange; you were safe and that lifted a great weight off your chest. Yoongi must have been worried sick you thought; you would have to get up soon to see him...yet the warmth and weight of the blankets lulled you back to sleep again. Why get up right away anyways it was so comfy.

Flashbacks of the mission plagued your mind; flashing between trying not to get caught and being chased by the galactic scum. Fear had your heart racing until it was all you could hear in your ears; pounding and pounding until it felt like you couldn’t breathe, the cold grip of fear making your mind irrational. Someone was yelling but you couldn’t make out what the voice was saying; thrash as you might you couldn’t get enough air or move it felt until fangs bit into the juncture of your shoulder pinning you against a strong body a low growl reaching your ears. You knew that sound and instantly relaxed. Sinking against the body you knew so well; finally feeling air in your lungs and your fear leaving you.

“Geez you’re a handful aren’t you.” Jimin scolded.

With great effort, you opened your eyes to see it was indeed Jimin holding you; a deep furrow between his brows as he fretted over you. Carefully he laid you back down on the bed and covered you up with the blanket yet again; laying beside you he ranted as he brushed strands of hair from your face.

“You never think things through, do you? Do you have any idea how freaked out we have been? Yoongi has nearly had a heart attack every day or a major mental breakdown, Hobi had to lock him in his room to keep him from storming up here and shaking the life out of you. My mom has been giving me nothing but grief from that stunt you pulled and even though I took care of it it's my fault you’re hurt like this making me feel like an ass! Jungkook is on scrubbing duty for a year because of that stunt and I will be locking you away from any more missions I nearly died from worry over this crap! My mom is already planning our future as we speak the woman is a demon when she gets an idea in her head all because she found out you are my mate and holy hell we need to avoid that if at all possible…”

You couldn’t hold back anymore as you broke out into a fit of giggles; his confused glance down at you made you laugh even harder. To think a big brave captain of a big bad ship could be worried over something so little as yourself was just too much.

“Are you broken?” Jimin asked fighting his own smile.

“Maybe...I did take quite a fall from the sky you know. I had to fight off all those soldiers too in the snow might I add and I got to see you be a badass for a second and save me.” You smirk.

“Yep your fucked up. Are you at least feeling ok now?”

“Sore and battered but not dead I’ll make it. Yoongi really freaking out?”

“If Hobi didn’t use his skills as a siren to keep him docile we would all be dead by now so he could get to you. For such a small man he is something else when he is pissed.”

“Yep...like a cobra just waiting to strike, freaked me out the first time too.”

After a few shared laughs Jimin helped you up and you worked your way down to the main level of Jimin’s family home which was more like a stone fortress built into the side of a mountain. His mother was a beauty like you had never seen before; pale spots dotted her skin in such an alluring way you could see where Jimin got his looks. His father was built like a tank; pure muscle also covered in pale spots of the snow leopard, his people all wore thick fur clothing to protect them from the elements. Upon seeing the crew crowded around a table talking; brought relief to you...worrying about them had stressed you out more than you would like to admit. Jungkook was the first to spot you and immediately grabbed you up in his arms apologizing nonstop until Jimin pried him off. Your eyes landed on Yoongi who looked worse for ware; dark circles from hell lingered under his eyes instantly making you feel sorry. 

“Yoongs…” You whimpered. Making your way to him a bit wobbly you sank down into the chair next to him and hid against his collarbone as you let your emotions go unsaid; he didn’t need to hear it he knew you well enough. Wrapping and arm around you he squeezed you tightly; you could tell he had been miserable and worried about you just as much as you had him.

“You took long enough.” He muttered. 

“Well excuse me I’ll go into a coma next time.” 

“Better fucking not!” Yoongi growled. 

Laughter erupted from around you; the crew you had learned to love and accept like family sat around you. Jin, Namjoon, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook. Maybe you had died and this was your heaven? 

“You guys act like and old couple! Have you always been like this?” Hoseok asked laughing. 

“Like I would settle for a bratty kitten like this please!” Yoongi growled. 

Hoseok laughed his head off as he smacked the table. 

“Right because you were busy toying with me just last night were you not?” Hoseok winked at Yoongi who went pin straight against you. 

“Min Yoongi what have you been up too?” You smirked at him. 

“Shut up cat! You fish boy can it!” 

“Only if you make me big boy.” Hoseok laughed dodging all attempts by Yoongi to hit him.

What the hell had happened while you were out? Jimin collected you from Yoongi who was about to mess up Hoseok’s pretty face; but the siren seemed to be welcoming it. Being led through the house you were shoved into a bathroom of sorts with a large hot spring in the floor. Jimin shut the door rather roughly jamming a plank against it so no one could get in.

“What are you doing?” You asked.

Jimin turned to you with a feral look in his eye; advancing on you until you were cornered against the wall. Without a word he started to strip you of your clothing before his own; shoving you toward the spring until you walked in. The hot water a welcoming relief to your tired body and aches; the man before you looked as regal as you remembered. His dark locks hanging over his eyes; his pale spots decorating his skin teasing you with glimpses of his muscles as he moved. 

“I think you owe me kitten...making me go through everything like you did. Part of me wants to love you to death and the other wants to bash your head in for being so reckless! So I guess I’ll knock out two birds with one stone, get you washed up and get some of my frustrations at the same time.” He smirked. 

“The hell--?” “Shhh not a peep out of you this time. Just relax and let me handle everything.”

That was in no way enough of a warning; Jimin crowded your body against the side of the hot spring, his form towering over you as his eyes locked with yours. You stared back not wanting to give in to his dominance just yet; his pupils dilated as he waited for you to look away first. You could see the restrain in him; he was trying to control his want to completely take you over. Grinding his hips against yours you could feel how hard he was; a low purr vibrating through you as he nuzzled her cheeks with his nose not breaking eye contact. Finally you give in and sigh when he nips at your jaw down your neck and back up again nuzzling behind your ear chuffing as he scents you. 

His grip grew tight on your hips as he pulled you against him; perhaps it was the slight manhandling that was turning you on or the pure animalistic masculinity he was expressing that had you melting in his grasp either way you wanted him and bad. Meeting his growls with your own you were raking your nails against his scalp as you pulled him down so you could devour his lips. Hearing Jimin groan into the kiss you let your hands explore as much of him as you could reach relearning every plane and curve of his body like you would never see it again. Grinding against him desperate to alleviate the ache growing between your legs all because of him and the need to have him inside. Impatience had Jimin lifting you up off your feet so you were straddling his waist, quickly and harshly he rubbed at your clit with his thumb breaking the kiss to watch you jerk and fall apart before him. 

“Listen carefully kitten; we won’t be having a repeat of that little stunt now will we?” He growled.  “J-j-jimin.” You moan.

“Answer me!”

“No no I... it won’t.”

“Good. Now you are going to take everything I give you no complaints you hear me?” He growled by your ear making you shiver.

Seeing you nod he quickened his pace on your clit as he slowly pushed himself inside you not even bothering to warm you up; the stretch was both stinging and pleasurable at the same time you weren’t sure which was more. Taking a snail’s pace at easing in until he bottomed out to pulling out before sliding in again; just as you were starting to calm down he slammed his hips into you making you cry out. Soft and sweet was not happening; he had a point to prove and you were all for it as you felt him hit your cervix so deep you were seeing stars. He pressed down harshly on your clit as he rammed into you; your screams and moans music to his ears. 

Your fluttering walls teasing his control as he lost himself in the feeling of you...his mate...his own slice of heaven riding him like a steed. The way your body would dance for him always mesmerized him making him proud he could evoke such a reaction out of you; hearing his name on your lips like the most beautiful song to his ears. Feeling you wrap your tail around his leg to help anchor yourself making him push up into you harder and faster; your walls were starting to squeeze on him...he would fill you up so you wouldn’t forget who you belonged to. Pulling a roar out of your lungs he felt you come on him screaming his name as he pushed you past sensitivity until he emptied himself inside you. 

A tangled and panting mess the two of you were; the hot water felt nice against aches you had completely forgotten about. Jimin was dutiful and cleaned you until he was satisfied before cleaning himself. Carrying you out of the hot spring he dried you with towels before wrapping you up in one while he rummaged through some shelves to pull out some clothes for you. They were the tribal clothing you saw everyone else wearing; they were made out of a hide of some sort with the inside lined with fur. A pair of pants and a tunic like shirt felt like the coziest blanket you had ever been in; he found you some boots to wear before he dressed himself. Pushing you toward the door he led you back to the main room of the house; everyone had gone it was empty, he guided you to the kitchen where he told you to sit at the table. 

Before long you had a meal set before you with plenty to drink as well; not sure what animal the meat was you still dug in and moaned to have some food in you. Downing your water as you tried to eat as quickly as possible; your stomach was growling at you in impatience from waiting. When you finished you had a full on food coma settle over you.

“That’s it for today kitten; back to bed.” Jimin chuckled at you dozing off at the table. 

“No I just woke up...I want to see everyone.” You mumble.  Jimin could only shake his head at you; leaving the dishes for later he picked you up again not surprised you didn’t fight him since you were dozing off in his arms. Taking you back up the stairs to your room he laid you down on the bed with fresh blankets already on it; probably thanks to his mom. You fought sleep you really did; but every time you blinked your eyes got heavier and heavier. Jimin went to leave but you grabbed his sleeve...you didn’t want to be alone. 

“Stay.” You whine.

Chuckling Jimin crawled into the bed with you and pulled you against him with the intention of only staying until you fell asleep before he would go and join the others. However the comfort and security of having you in his arms soon lulled him to sleep as well. Finally feeling safe again you welcomed the heavy slumber that awaited you; the scent of Jimin easing any worries you may have for the time being. 

[lazyfox411]

Tired

all this hype for season four has made me emotional so ive pumped out a little oneshot of klance comfort so here you go enjoy

Tired. That was how you felt when you couldn’t get any sleep. When you took on responsibility you didn’t want, that you weren’t ready for. When you were forced to keep it, even after its proper holder was found alive and well. When your team didn’t realize how much you were struggling. Maybe they did. They just didn’t care.

Tired. That was all. That was why he was shaking, that was why he couldn’t stomach anything, that was why the room around him was blurring in and out of focus. He just needed sleep.

Sleep wouldn’t come.

Keith leaned heavily against the wall, a trembling hand pressed to the cool, hard surface. God, he felt like shit. Beads of sweat were collecting under his helmet, clinging to his forehead, soaking his bangs. He felt it the back of his next, turning ice cold and sending shivers down his spine. He realized too late that his legs were giving out and he ended up in a heap on the floor, glad that no one was around to see him fall.

He’d tripped right outside his bedroom. He dragged himself to his feet and through the door, and used the remaining sliver of energy inside him to collapse onto the bed. Keith ripped his helmet off. He stared at it. It looked dirty, and smudged. He didn’t know when was the last time he’d even given a thought to cleaning his armor. He thought of the way Shiro’s armor always shined as though he’d spent hours polishing it. That was how a leader’s armor ought to look.

“I’m no leader,” Keith mumbled to himself. He threw the helmet at the wall. It didn’t make much of a noise, but he was quite sure it left a dent. That was satisfying, somehow.

He was still thinking of Shiro in shining armor, the way he’d looked before his disappearance from the black lion. His lion. Keith’s lion, now. Even though it shouldn’t be.

“I’m not good enough for this.” Keith had no idea who he was talking to, but it felt good to say it. “I don’t want this.” So why did Shiro? “I didn’t ask for it.” Shiro had given it to him. But he wouldn’t take it back. “I’m tired.” He closed his eyes. Even without the visual aspect, he could still sense the room spinning. If it didn’t stop soon, he was going to be sick. All over his already dirty armor. Why was he even wearing it? Oh, right. Training, he remembered blearily. I was training.

Keith didn’t know what to do now. Even with Shiro back, he couldn’t relax. Because he was still supposed to be the brave leader and pilot the black lion and win the war. A war against his own kind. Why couldn’t he just be normal, like everyone else? Why wouldn’t the black lion take Shiro back? Keith missed Red. How many times now had he gone to her, tried to get her to open up to him again, but gotten shut out again and again, only to have Lance show up moments later, taking down her barrier like it was paper thin. It wasn’t Lance’s fault. Maybe Keith had taken Red for granted. Maybe he hadn’t. Either way, he loved Red. He’d never said it out loud, but the red lion had been solid and steady, unwavering, even when Keith had doubts. The red lion had chosen him for who he was. It seemed he had to be somebody else for the black lion.

The black bayard materialized in his hand. He could control it now. He threw that at the wall, too. Another dent.

He set his head in his hands. He really didn’t feel well. His head hurt, he was dizzy and queasy and all kinds of bad. Why couldn’t he just feel normal?

Keith looked up then, the sound of the door whooshing open drawing him from his thoughts. Somebody was walking in. Keith fought away the blurry lines that danced across his line of sight until Lance came into focus, his tall silhouette framed in the doorway, soft light from the hallway seeping into the dark room.

“Lance? What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here? What are you doing here? This is my room.”

“No, it’s my—” Keith paused. He looked around. He couldn’t tell whose room this was. Why the hell didn’t he know where he was?

“Pretty sure it’s my room, dude,” Lance said. “No worries, though. It happens. I once walked in on Hunk in the shower thinking I was going into the kitchen. It did not end well, trust me.” Lance stopped, eyeing Keith closely. He waved a hand in front of the other boy’s face. “Hey, earth to Keith. Can you hear me?”

“Yeah. Loud and clear.”

“Are you okay, buddy?”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t look so good.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah?” Lance was thoroughly confused now. “Is something wrong?”

“What? Oh, um. No. All good.”

“You’re sure about that?” Lance asked.

Keith folded his arms. “Yes.”

“You know you can talk to me about it if you want to.”

“I don’t have anything to talk about, Lance,” Keith glowered.

“I think you do.”

“Well I don’t. So just leave me alone.”

“But you’re sitting on my bed,” Lance pointed out.

Keith huffed, voice rising up in his throat and bursting out as a scream, “Just leave me alone, Lance!” He felt himself losing control before the words were even out of his mouth, and before he could get a grip on what was happening, he was flat out sobbing.

Lance sighed. Alone was the last thing Keith needed to be right now.

Keith sniffled as Lance sat down next to him on the bed. He didn’t want to look at Lance. He didn’t want Lance to see him like this. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this. He didn’t want to be like this.

Lance tentatively reached an arm around Keith’s shoulders. “Hey,” he said softly. “Just breathe, buddy. Let it out, and breathe.”

Keith had given up on any bit of dignity he might have had left. He leaned into Lance, let his entire body go limp, let the tears run free down his cheeks. Lance held him, supporting his floppy, achy limbs and carding fingers through his sweaty hair.

“There, there,” Lance murmured. “Don’t be embarrassed, okay? Just let it all out, you’ll feel better, I promise.”

And so he did.

“Shiro’s ch-changed. I used to think I could tell him anyth-thing, but now he just keeps going on and on about how I need to be the leader and fly the black lion, but I can’t and I don’t want to and I don’t think he even cares. He says he does, but I don’t think he cares about me anymore. I don’t even know if I care if he cares.” Keith had no idea if Lance could even tell what he was saying, his voice was so strangled and high and choked with sobs. But he didn’t care. It felt good to talk, even better than it had minutes earlier, because this time somebody was listening. He kept going.

“I’m just…I don’t know what to do, Lance. I’m just a mess, I’ve always been a mess and I’m sorry you have to try and clean it up now. I’m just I’m upset because I miss Shiro and I miss Red and I miss home and—”

“Keith. Hey. Look at me.”

Keith looked up at Lance with wide eyes. Lance had a hand cupped around his cheek. His hands were soft, and warm.

“I’m tired,” Keith said weakly.

“I know,” Lance whispered. “It’s okay.” One of his hands found the back of Keith’s neck, and he worked his fingers over the tense muscles he found there. Keith visibly melted under his touch.

“I’ll tell you what,” Lance said, continuing with the massage, “how about you go hop in the shower, get all nice and fresh and clean, and then we’ll go to the kitchen and get you something to eat. Then we’ll come back here and you can sleep, right here in my bed so I can look out for you. And when you’re feeling better, then the two of us are going to pay Red a little visit. I think she misses you, too. What do you say, Keith? Does that sound okay?”

“Yeah,” Keith blinked sleepily. “That sounds good.”

[promtography]

promptis

A mid-battle mishap convinces Prompto he’s dead weight, Noctis assures him he’s not

He screwed up.

Again.

Noctis had insisted they keep driving through the night, assuring them they would be fine “as long as they kept moving.” Well, moving didn’t stop the Iron Giant from spawning right in the middle of the road. They were forced to deal with it they wanted to continue driving, and Prompto felt his heart sink as the exited the car.

Now, the daemon alone would have been trouble enough, but in the middle of their fight, things took a quick turn for the worse when a Magitek engine decided to drop a bad situation right on their heads.

They decided the best solution was to split up, with Noctis and Gladio focusing on the hulking daemon while Ignis and Prompto kept the troopers in check.

At this point, he should be used to fighting MTs. They did it seemingly endlessly, and he actually was, for the most part. Except now, with a full day of exploring and quests and hunts behind them, not to mention half of them fighting a veritable behemoth just a few feet away, Prompto found it hard to keep his head on straight. His bullets grazed when they should’ve killed, he blocked when it would’ve been better to dodge, he found himself nearly running into Ignis a few times, shouting out a quick “my bad” when the advisor jumped out of his way.

Prompto’s ears rang with the clanging of troopers, with echoing gunshots that tore into metal armor, with the groans of the massive daemon behind him, with his own blood rushing in his head. He never realized Ignis had even said anything until he felt agony slam into his thigh. His leg gave out immediately and he scraped his hands on the pavement as he caught himself. He choked on his breath, panic numbing his mind. He looked down to see the handle of a dagger protruding from his leg and Ignis was at his side before it had even finished vanishing in a shimmer of magic.

The advisor hauled him into a sitting position, yelling at Gladio to cover them only to be cut off by a nearby trooper who decided to take advantage of their disadvantage. It swung its sword in a deadly arc, and Ignis just barely managed to summon his dagger in time to block it, but the angle was bad and Prompto heard a snap as Ignis yelped in pain, the dagger flying from his hand. The trooper raised its sword again for the finishing blow, and Prompto found he could only stare as it came swing down.

Only to clang uselessly against Gladio’s shield as he threw himself into a defensive position. The offending trooper was then obliterated by a devastating sweep of his greatsword, and Prompto thought he was saved until Gladio turned ferocious eyes on him.

“Prompto! Wake up!”

Prompto flinched as the words were roared at him, and it took him a moment to work his throat open enough to respond with a “yes, sir!” but Gladio was already getting back into the fight, making quick work of the remaining troopers with broad sweeps of his sword.

Clenching his hands in his lap, Prompto felt hot tears welling in his eyes and hated himself for it. His leg is pulsed with pain in time with heartbeat and an alarming amount of blood was leaking from the gash. With raw and dirty hands, he summoned a potion and noticed Ignis doing the same. He cracked the vial and shudders at the disturbing feeling of his flesh unnaturally stitching itself back together. He hears the splintered bones in Ignis’ wrist shifting back into place under his skin and couldn’t bring himself to look.

He knew he should apologize, and he was busy deciding exactly which fuck up to start with when Ignis slapped him on the back and stood up, offering his hand to pull Prompto up with him. Prompto took it hesitantly and Ignis hauled him up to stand on trembling legs.

“Eyes forward, Prompto,” and Prompto sobbed, knew this wasn’t the place for it, they were in the middle of a fight but he couldn’t stop himself and he wipes furiously at his face. He wants to throw up, he wants to throw himself off the top of Ravatogh, he wants to go back in time so he could never agree to going on this trip because they would be so much better off without him.

It was with these thoughts screaming in his head that he followed Ignis to where Noct still struggled with the Iron Giant, Gladio having rejoined him and the two were working flawlessly alongside each other, their cooperation effortless after years of training together, knowing exactly how the other fights, and Prompto feels so foreign, so out of place he wonders why they even let him come.

A lost mutt, yapping at the heels of a Prince who stands guarded by wolves.

Breathe. Prompto dries his eyes enough for him to take aim at the daemon, Gladio and Noct having nearly finished it. Breathe. He drops into a low stance, waiting for a clear opening as Noctis darts around the Giant in a flurry of blue. Breathe.

There.

The gunshot resounds with a damning finality as the bullet slams into the daemon, and it staggers, stumbles, and begins to melt into the ground, defeated.

Prompto collapses, trembling, and holds his head in his hands. He can’t breathe suddenly, his vision is blurry and his face is wet and Noctis is there with a hand on his back, rubbing soothingly up and down his spine and Prompto thinks he’s saying something but his head hurts, his chest hurts and he’s tired and he wants to go home, doesn’t want to put anyone in danger anymore.

He’s pulled gently to his feet, lead by the hand to the car and he falls into the passenger’s seat. He spends the drive to the nearest hotel forcing air into his lungs, looking only at his hands clenched tight in his lap because he’s afraid if he looks at anything else he’ll somehow cause another problem.

When they arrive, the others exit the car and head to the small window to book a room. Prompto can’t bring himself to move, so he stays in the car.

After paying for their room, Noctis comes back, assuring the other two that it would be better if they left it to him. He approaches slowly, and Noctis can see Prompto’s shoulders getting tenser, more hunched the closer he gets.

When he’s finally close enough to lean his arms on the door, Prompto is practically folded in half.

“Hey,” he whispers.

Prompto feels his heartbeat thrumming. He lifts his head just enough to turn towards Noctis, but doesn’t look at his face. He takes a deep, shuddering breath. When he speaks, the words are thin, as if the slightest bit of pressure would cause them to snap.

“Listen, Noct,” he blinks away sudden tears, “I think you guys-”

He squeaks when Noctis smacks him on the back, the hand then moving to rest on the nape of his neck, “I know what you’re gonna say, some ‘I’m just dragging you guys down’ spiel, right?” and Prompto finally looks at his face, eyes wide. Noctis smiles softly at him.

“You’re not.”

Noctis leans in then, pressing his lips feather light against Prompto’s and Prompto feels frozen, can barely even process what is happening.

Noctis draws back far enough to look into his eyes.

“Sometimes, shit happens.” The hand on Prompto’s neck travels up into his hair, tucking away some loose strands, “And when it does, we deal with it.”

Noctis kisses him again, firmly this time, sweetly lingering, and they’re both sticky and gross with sweat and dirt and blood and the night is just a bit too cold for comfort and Prompto could cry with how happy he is in that moment.

He does cry, actually. Which is unfortunate because it makes Noct move away, and he chases after him only to be stopped by hands cupping his face, thumbs wiping at his wet cheeks.

“No one blames you, Prompto.”

He brings his hands up to Noct’s, holding onto his wrists and has to swallow a lump in his throat, “But… Ignis” a hiccup, “…he got hurt.”

Noctis pauses before pulling away completely. He then yanks the car door open and Prompto yelps and sputters when the prince seats himself on Prompto’s lap.

Noctis rests his hands on Prompto’s shoulders, and Prompto fumbles with his hands before hesitantly settling them on Noct’s waist.

Using one hand to tip Prompto chin up, Noctis admires every detail of the blond’s freckled face, “Ignis was hurt by the enemy, not by you,” he presses their foreheads together, “we’re all gonna get hurt at some point, so it’s ridiculous to take the blame every time it happens.”

Prompto swallows, doesn’t know what to say, so he holds on to Noctis, tucking his head under Noct’s chin and Noctis holds him back, stroking his dirty hair and breathing slow and deep, and Prompto matches his breaths and feels lightheaded with how much easier it suddenly is to just breathe.

Neither of them knows how long they stay like that, but then Noctis yawns and exhaustion crashes to the forefront of their minds, he recent fight only adding on to an already long day, and Prompto feels like he could pass out right there, but Noctis grabs his wrist and drags him to their room.

But when they get to door, Noctis pulls Prompto against him, hands on his waist, and backs him into the door. A quick, hard kiss is pressed to his lips.

“I’m glad you’re here, Prom.”

Before he can react, heat shoots down Prompto’s spine when that royal mouth laves at his neck. He tips his head back with a small thump as Noctis licks and kisses and sucks at his throat and Prompto moans, shivering, grabbing at Noct and running his hands up under his filthy shirt.

Prompto almost starts crying again when Noct slips a leg between his own, at the same time moving from Prom’s neck to his mouth, sliding his tongue past soft lips. Prompto barely has enough presence of mind to kiss back, whimpering, hips twitching, so eager to grind into the thigh pressing against his crotch.

He thinks he’s dying when he suddenly feels weightless, only to be rudely notified that he is in fact very much alive when his back slams into the floor, the prince sprawled on top of him not making matters any better.

He takes a second to orient himself, staring at the ceiling when Gladio’s face comes into view. Prompto can’t tell if he looks amused or annoyed.

Noctis pushes himself up and is glaring at his bodyguard as he helps Prompto to his feet, “What the hell, Gladio.”

Gladio merely crosses his arms and smirks, “You two are definitely getting separate beds tonight.”

[cinnamon-muffins]

Mail-Order Mello (Part 2)

Summary: Growing tired of his father harassing him about marriage, Near decides to play the ultimate joke by ordering a Russian bride. Little does he know, he ends up with more than he bargained for. | MelloxNear, LightxL | Alternate Universe

--

:*watches as he sets the large tip on the table but doesn’t comment on it, but he does wonder if this is something Near just always does* *continues towards the exit alongside him, throwing his hood up and over his head* You’re done already?:

--

:*does the same as Mello, even if he dislikes the way the fur-covered rim tickles against his cheek* It’s getting late, I don’t like to be out at dark. You should be glad I came out to begin with.:

--

:Hm. Suit yourself. *pushes open the door, a bell dinging above them as they leave - but the rain is a bit heavier now, the temperature having dropped since they first arrived* дерьмо.. *shoves his hands in his coat pockets, looking over towards Near to see how he’s handling it*:

 (‘Shit..’)

--

:*as soon as they step out into the rain, his face grows into an uncomfortable grimace* *crosses his arms across his chest, his torso already racked with hard shivering* It’s-- cold...:

--

:We’ll be back soon. It’s not that bad. *begins along the wet sidewalk, maneuvering around the people there* In Russia, where I lived, it hardly ever rose above 30.:

--

:This isn’t normal f- for me... *his walking begins to slow down as his limbs grow affected by the cold, trying to burrow into his hood, suddenly thankful it’s there*:

--

:I assume you didn’t grow up somewhere cold then. *sees the towering building of Near’s a couple blocks away, and he grows suddenly curious, and while it’s a question that should be asked in private, he realizes no one is even listening* *speaks through the rain, leaning so Near can hear him better* .. I’m sure large building like yours draws attention. What do you say it is?:

--

:-- Software. *says as loud as he can, which isn’t that loud* You should have seen the logo- as you came in. It’s a multi-million dollar company in itself.:

--

:Ah. Does anyone ever try to apply for ‘job’? *glances towards him again, and once he notices his subtle shivering, he has half a mind to help him out - but he decides against it, figuring he’d also feel uncomfortable in the first place*:

--

:*too focused on trying to keep himself from freezing and hitting oncoming strangers to notice his grammar, his fingers tightening their grip on his jacket* It happens, but our receptionist knows wh- what to do then-- *suddenly gets hit on the shoulder but a rapidly walking business man, it temporarily knocking him off balance* --!:

--

: - ! *before he can process what’s happening, he reaches out to catch Near before he can fall, grasping him with an arm wrapped around his shoulder, drawing him away from the strangers around them* *turns to throw the man who hit his shoulder a dirty glare, yelling in his direction* Watch where the fuck you’re going-!!:

--

:*stares up at him with wide eyes, not expecting to be caught by the other, much less for him to get angry at a passer-by* Mello-- *carefully draws his attention, using his arm for leverage to get back on his feet* --It’s okay, I’m fine.:

--

:*the businessman ignores him - either that or he’s already too far off to have heard him, to which he frowns distastefully* Fucking idiot... *allows Near to use him to stand up, having half of a mind to go track that man down and demand an apology*:

--

:*can see the contemplation in his eyes, so he gently nudges him in the opposite direction, wanting him to keep going* Let’s keep going, we’re almost home and out of the rain. *even as they start moving he doesn’t mind being close to him, rationalizing it as better protection from that same situation happening again* -- Thank you, it was very kind of you to stand up for me.:

--

:People are assholes. *mutters as they continue on their way as his version of accepting the thanks, Near’s words somehow convincing him to leave it be, and he keeps his arm around him, now wary of everyone that passes them*:

--

:You’re very correct. *agrees with a nod of his head, but despite the setback, Mello’s added warmth is at least an advantage for him* But it’s best not to- make a scene. You’re my spouse, what involves you will involve me.:

--

:So we’re supposed to act married now? *crosses the crosswalk with him before turning the corner, the entrance of Near’s building now in view through the blurry rain*:

--

:That isn’t what I said. *seeing the view of his building gives him an unusual burst of energy, his legs carrying him faster than before to make it there* I just can’t have you getting in trouble, or else it will cause me problems.:

--

:How? *looks towards him with a frown, wondering why he’d be so against it* If I went after that guy, you wouldn’t have to do anything. I’d make sure that asshole would apologize to you - and that’s it.:

--

:The authorities could have been around, and a whole new set or problems could be brought on with a public disturbance. *realizes the likelihood of that is rare, but he’s mainly trying to save face on actually admiring that he’d do something like that for him at all*:

--

:*rolls his eyes* You really never have been out, have you? *with their pace, they quickly make it to the glass entrance doors, and he already anticipates the warmth as the doors open automatically for that* Maybe I know more about New York than you do.:

--

:*the doors slide open and Near basks in the warm, never feeling happier to have a controlled temperature in his life* *starts to ditch his now wet jacket, exposing his dewy face and semi-flat hair* It’d be normal for a gangster to know street behaviour, hm?:

--

:Is that what you think of me? *can’t help a subtle smile, taking off his own jacket and throwing it carelessly to the side, knowing from past experience that doing so eventually leads to it being cleaned and delivered to his room* Besides, you don’t know who I was or what I did before this. Don’t jump to conclusions. *despite his words, his tone is somewhat playful*:

--

:*can’t help the smile that happens in return, deciding to follow his lead and simply drop his jacket on top of the other* Of course, мужа. *walks a short distance before he’s back at the elevators, pressing the button and getting in as soon as the doors allow him*:

 (‘Husband.’)

--

:*mocks* Жена. *now that he’s away from the rain, he stretches his arms above his head, following alongside Near to the elevators* *as he enters the elevators, he’s about to say something humorous, but suddenly, the sight of the other catches him off guard, and he stalls in the elevator, watching him for a brief moment, a strange, foreign feeling overcoming him* *immediately, he goes silent, moving from the awkward position to stand next to him* ...:

 (‘Wife.’)

--

:*keys the floor they both dwell in with no problem, not registering anything wrong with Mello before he glances up at him* *his expression is innocuous and benign past his damp bangs, actually seeming concerned to the best of his abilities* Are you alright?:

--

: - *a little startled, quickly turning to look at him* - Yeah, I’m fine. *leans back against the back wall of the elevator, watching as the floors steadily move upwards, remaining quiet as he faces forward, trying to dissect the strange comfort he felt just now* ..:

--

:*doesn’t say anything more about it, turning his head back to stare at the metal doors before they open at the correct floor* *he walks out, waiting for Mello to accompany him until they head toward the door and inside the comfort of his home* --I know it doesn’t entertain you very much, but would you like to build a puzzle with me? After my work is complete, of course.:

--

: - No, I’m going to sleep. *his voice is cold, not bothering to make eye contact - somehow that makes it more difficult to say no* *immediately sets for his room, a bit dazed out in thought over this situation, not yet able to describe it or how he’s feeling* ... I’ll see you later.:

--

:..? *suddenly stills, watching him go without the slightest idea of why he suddenly acts like when they just met* *realizes that he shouldn’t care about this, but still a pang of hurt fills his chest* *his stoic voice returns as he goes over to his seat, his back turned to Mello* .. Yes, have a good night.:

--

:*pauses for a moment as he says that, stalling in his steps* ... *only a moment passes before he wonders why he’s even caring in the first place, a thought which propels him forward into motion and towards his room, set on doing whatever it takes to forget it*:

--

**around 11:00pm that night**

--

:*much later that evening, after dressing himself into a clean outfit and readying himself for the night, he eventually winds up at the grand opening of the new club just a few blocks down* *the atmosphere of the place certainly lives up to its hype, loud music reverberating throughout every corner played by a DJ set up at the front, people dancing and packed inside to the brim, neon lights flashing and moving to the rhythm, and alcoholic drinks being served all around, coming from the extravagant bar set up on the side*

 *finds himself moving through the crowd until he ends up sitting at the bar area, looking around the room in search of someone worthwhile of his attention* *to help the time pass quicker, he orders a drink, and it’s not long until he’s sipping slowly from the glass, continuing to watch the crowd, his head beginning to feel dizzy from the atmosphere* ...:

--

;*after almost an hour of nonstop dancing, he finally breaks free from the crowd on the dance floor, not wanting to break a sweat, lest he look unpresentable* *takes a deep breath in, smiling at a few people as he walks his way to the bar, bending over the counter* Hey, can I get a sex on the beach, please? *gives the bartender a wink, grinning when he ignores the other orders he has to work on his*;

--

:*watches the redhead approach the bar with mild disinterest, though once he orders, he does grow amused that he has such an affect on others* *observes him through the corner of his vision, realizing quite suddenly the male’s outfit, hair, and overall persona seems to contrast starkly with someone like Near, and while that's a passing thought, he can't help but realize there might be some advantage to this* *turns in his seat, facing the bar as he takes a long drink from his glass, speaking purposefully to the male next to him* Sex on the beach? Why not something stronger? *gestures his own glass, a daring look in his expression*:

--

;*as he carelessly waits for his drink to be made, he notices the male beside him trying to get his attention, to which he of course engages in* *glances down at his drink and back up to its owner, a relatively healthy-looking blond with a thick accent he finds intriguing, and so he grins* Not my thing. A little goes a long way. *simply puts, just as the bartender is sliding him his drink, to which he easily catches in his hand, taking a sip from the straw with a grin* *sticks out his hand, offering it to the other* I’m Matt, light drinker, heavy dancer~;

--

:*smiles, though it’s mostly out of amusement over how he decides to introduce himself, and he extends his hand out, shaking Matt’s hand once before retracting it* Mello. *offers nothing more than the name for a moment, tilting his glass to his lips and taking a long sip, enjoying the way it stings his throat* You like it here?:

--

;*as another song blared on the speakers his foot taps his the best, generously drinking his beverage as the other speaks to him* It’s awesome, we haven't had a nice club on this side of the city. It’s mainly just a bunch of stiff wall-street buffs. *gives him another look with a playful grin* But you’re certainly not one of those, hm?;

 ((ya’ll both just thirsty hoes, wtf))

--

:*swivels his chair slightly in his direction, leaning against the back of his hand with an equally playful expression* I’d like to think not. *as he observes him, he almost contemplates backing out of the conversation, but he presses onwards, there being no logical reason to leave just yet, and so he offers half a smile* I was worried this place would just be another ‘The Underground’, but.. This place isn’t so bad. *makes it obvious he’s directly referring to him*:

 ((lol rite))

--

((GAGS. REAL CANON MATT GAGS AS WELL.))

 ;*his brow goes up at the small hint of flirting, and he can’t help but chuckle under his breath before taking another drink* *normally his type is a little different, those of the heavy muscle variety, but the blond’s appearance isn’t bad, so he indulges the other* *moves a little closer to him, propping his head up on his hand with a sly look* Don’t let my outfit fool you, ‘mister Mello’, I am a guy. Hope that doesn’t cramp your style.;

--

:That’s perfect, actually. *finishes off the last bit of his drink, pushing his glass to the side decisively, standing and offering his hand for the other to help him off* C’mon. Let’s dance.:

--

;* sees the other and immediately does the same, not wanting to waste it, but as soon as it's done he accepts the other's hand hopping off the stool with a grin* *its his turn to take the lead as he grabs his wrist, tugging him towards the dance floor where the music vibrates their surroundings, to which he easily starts to flow with* You sure you can dance? I heard Russian’s are pretty stiff~;

--

:Find out for yourself. *smirks, following him towards the dance floor, in amongst the sweaty, dancing bodies all around them* *once they've picked a spot, his body begins to move along with the rhythm, and he moves his hands to Matt’s waist, drawing him closer* Music here’s not shit either.:

--

;They hired one of the best dj’s in New York for the grand opening, so it's not just pop remixes. *easily adjusts to the new position, smiling as he lazily rests an arm on his shoulder, rolling his hips to the music* So are you new here?

 ((WOW I HONESTLY DIDN’T EXPECT TO BE SO UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS

 ALSO I KINDA WANT MATT TO HAVE A FRENCH ACCENT TOO????? ))

--

((YES I WAS GONNA HAVE MELLO MENTION THAT BUT I DIDNT KNOW IF YOU WOULD LIKE IT))

 :Fairly new. New enough that I haven't seen you yet. *draws him closer with arms wrapped around his waist, their bodies nearly touching as they continue to move to the rhythm* I'm assuming you are too. *referring to the accent in Matt’s voice*:

--

;*gives him a snarky grin as he nods* Bordeaux. I moved to New York a few years ago for school, but I don’t think my accent will ever disappear. *laughs a little, but as the song slowly delves into something more sensual, he has no fear to get up close on Mello’s body, his eyes sparkling with mischief* And why are you here, mon chéri?;

 (#Triggered)

--

:Well, I like it. *smiles, doing his absolute best to focus on the male in front of him, and chase away other thoughts insisting on consuming his attention* *knows enough French to understand the small bit Matt offers, and simultaneously he allows the other to come closer, their hips swaying together* I wanted to live exciting life in big city. I wanted its experience. *leans forward, pressing their foreheads together, speaking with a hint of sensuality - but somehow, this situation still isn’t yielding the desired, mind-numbing results* .. I think I’m doing alright so far.:

--

;*didn’t expect the sudden intimate touch, his eyes wide, only able to murmur* Whoa... *without any warning he puts some separation between them before he’s suddenly taking his hand, leading him in a different direction away from the crowd, toward a dimly lit hallway* *he doesn’t make it far before he’s willingly pressing himself against a wall while pulling the other in with arms draped around his neck*  I can’t resist a smooth talker.. Wanna make out?;

--

:*follows him, idly moving his arms around him to push their bodies flush together, consciously making the effort to make his motions appear desperate* *though, as soon as Matt speaks, he’s suddenly reminded of just earlier today, when he’d been instead kissing Near, and heat rises to his face, replaying the memory in his head - and it’s almost frightening just how affected he is, not ever having been so before* *his hesitation is somewhat obvious, remembering the promise he made Near, but not just that, somehow following through with Matt just won’t yield the same results as it would with Near, a realization that’s even more frightening* .. Matt. *slowly pulls away* .. I’m sorry. *says simply for the moment, before feeling the need to explain further, but vaguely so in a way that might make sense to Matt* ... I think I like someone.:

--

;*the moment he sees hesitation in Mello’s eyes, and his voice say his name softly, he knows exactly what’s about to happen* *his hands slowly drift to his side, looking somewhat confused as to why he’d even start this, but as he explains, it makes complete sense* *relaxes against the wall, giving him a small, sympathetic smile* Hey, it’s okay. We all get- what is the term- cold feet. I’ve been eyeing a hot redhead all night, but I’ve been too afraid to even say hello~ *laughs a little, bringing his hand back up to caress his cheek, following it with a small pinch* Don’t be afraid of your feelings, they are there for a reason.;

--

:Hmph. *grows flustered, feeling absolutely ridiculous over all this, and he has half a mind to just continue what they started anyway* .. I’ve never liked someone. I’ve never - felt this way about someone. *takes a step away, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking out towards the crowd - as he does, he immediately notices a tall, muscular redhead* .. Is that him?:

--

;? *looks in the direction he’s pointing in, seeing that it in fact is him, and his eyes quickly turn away, as if he’s not worthy, and he goes more bashful than the confident, vixen-like state he’s been showing all night* You caught me.. ;

--

:Either you talk to him, or I’ll tell him to. *sounds very firm, giving Matt no other option than to approach him, but he’s also doing this because he wants an easier way to end this conversation and quietly leave*:

 ;*currently walking towards the bar before sitting down in the much-too-small seat, mouthing something in a calm, polite manner to the bartender, who then begins mixing a drink for him*;

--

;*looks rather astonished, not used to such direct demands, but he slowly begins to agree, looking at his target while taking a deep breath* -! *he’s about to move, but just then he thinks of something, turning to Mello and diving into the pocket of his jeans to pull out a cell phone he knew was there* *sees the phone is of course locked, so he goes to the phone screen to tap in a number* *once he’s finished he hands the phone to him with a bright smile* Let’s still be friends, okay? I want to know all about this love situation.;

--

:*frowns, this being a little forward from a stranger, but something about Matt seems trustworthy - and beyond that, not annoying like most people he meets* *nods after a moment, stuffing his phone back in his pocket, and he offers a brief smile* Whatever. Go get your lover boy.:

--

;*with a new sense of optimism he nods, starting to walk out, but as a final goodbye for the evening he turns over his shoulder to look at him one last time* Always practice what you preach, blondie. *gives him a small wink before he sets out of the hallway, going directly toward the hulking red male with a saunter, sliding gracefully beside him, nonchalant as he comments beside him* A cocktail? Why not something a little stronger?;

--

;*turns to the redhead speaking to him, and immediately he smiles, most certainly liking what he sees, the cocktail remaining untouched in his hand* Oh? What do you suggest?;

 :*once he ensures Matt is completely distracted, he sets off for the exit - but not before taking his phone out once more and typing a quick text to Matt so that he has his number, then stuffing it back in his pocket* *doesn’t turn back as he leaves, exiting into the comparatively quiet, but still bustling street, immediately walking towards Near’s headquarters with purpose*:

--

**

--

:*just after a few hours of slumber, he unfortunately begins to toss in his sleep, rousing awake just enough to comprehend* *frowns, upset to been awoken, not because of losing sleep, but because of the bitter way he and Mello had left each other, even after what he considered a pleasant evening* ... *stares up at the ceiling, wondering what he could have done differently to keep his attention, and why that matters to him* ...:

--

:*it doesn’t take long until he winds up back at the building, into the elevator, and up to the floor his room is on - and Near’s is on* *somehow, he finds himself directly in front of Near’s door, simply standing there in the dark, not even remembering having approached it, the silence and lack of distraction allowing all these feelings to resurface* ...:

--

:*rolls on his side, trying to convince himself that sleep is more important than the useless thoughts he’s having, about someone he paid to be here no less,  but even still, he can’t help their position on the forefront of his mind* *sighs out quietly, his hand clutching the pillow, his voice quiet but filled with confusion and longing* Mello...:

--

((this is so dramatic))

 : .. *his hand reaches out towards the doorknob, as though it has a will of its own, and he gently grasps the metal piece, impulsively twisting it and pushing the door open, exposing another dark room* *this being his first time ever being in Near’s room, he looks around, his eyes already adjusted, and he soon finds the bed and a lump beneath the blankets to one side, indicating a person beneath* *his breath catches, and for some strange reason, he feels nervous for once* ...:

 ((one day they gon have kids and kids gon ask how they met))

--

((well you see......))

 :*nearly jumps when he hears his door come open, not expecting that in the slightest, silently wondering if the other actually heard him call his name* *stays perfectly still though, not wanting to make any indication that he’s awake, wondering why the other has brought himself here* ..:

--

:*approaches the bed, and for a moment he thinks the other is sleeping, but the rise and fall of his chest indicates that he’s not quite there yet* ... *moves to the side he’s resting on, leaning to reach down, swiping the back of his now ungloved fingers against his hair, pushing the white locks from his face* ..:

--

:*the sudden touch takes him off guard, simply staring up at him, only seeing minor details due to the increased darkness* *since he knows the other is aware that he’s okay, he slowly mumbles, unsure of his words* .. You didn't want to be around me.:

--

:What? *murmurs without thinking first, retracting his hand and simply standing there, watching him through the dark* .. It’s not that. *decides against admitting the full truth, whatever the hell that is, and a short silence passes before he continues* ... I went out tonight.:

--

:*slowly sits up in his bed, wanting to be comfortable with speaking to the other, even if what he says leaves a bad tastes in his mouth* *looks down in his lap, unconsciously fiddling with his hands, his voice coming out a little hollow and analytical* ... Were you safe at the very least?:

--

:.. *quietly analyzes him as the moment passes, searching for a hint of what Near’s feeling, almost wondering if he feels betrayed* ... *once he speaks, his voice grows quiet, eyes averting* .. I didn’t sleep with anyone. It was boring, so I left.:

--

:..? *that certainly wasn’t the answer he expected, as made obvious by his eyes coming up to the other, trying to search for any notion of a lie in the other* *when he can’t find anything, he can’t suppress the feeling of relief, so much that his body relaxes, but he keeps the same voice* Why did you go in the first place? You promised.:

--

: ... *the question renders him speechless, and he finally looks at him, all the while trying to figure out a way to answer him that doesn’t accidentally convey anything too - unwanted* ... *takes the moment to sit down on the bedding, next to him, and once he speaks, he knows his answer is vague* .. I thought it would be fine.:

--

:You thought it would be fine to betray my trust? *his brows furrow together, the answer not satisfying whatever* *for some reason, it hurts him more than he expected to know he didn’t care about his feelings* .. I told you explicitly I didn’t want you to go, I-- tried, so you wouldn’t go.:

--

:You tried so I wouldn’t fuck someone. *responds bluntly, suddenly irritated* You only didn’t want me to go because of that. All I did was listen to music and have drink. *doesn’t understand why he’s bothering to explain himself, but the guilt inside him continues to fester* - I won’t go back. It’s fucking boring anyway. *adds on, internally cringing as he knows it’s a lame excuse*:

-- :*stares at him for a moment, slightly surprised that he would try such a pathetic excuse with intentions of making him feel better* ... Okay. *says simply, slowly sinking his way back in bed, turning on his opposite side* Feel free to rest, I’m sure you’re tired.:

--

:... *contemplates leaving that moment, but something has him cemented to the spot* .. *impulsively, he reaches down, untying his shoes and tossing them to the side, shrugging his jacket off and letting it join the floor* *grateful that he wore somewhat comfortable clothing, besides the leather pants, but that’s the last thing on his mind as he yanks the covers up, climbing under them and resting his head against the pillow*:

 ((i wanna find a picture of near’s room))

--

:-? *as he feels the bed dip beside him he turns around, and his eyes open just slightly at the sight of Mello in his bed* - What are you doing?:

--

:You said, ‘Feel free to rest’. *comments as though it were obvious, but there’s also an underlying tone daring him to suggest there’s more to it than that* *as Near turns to face him and he can see him much clearer, more closely, and he almost regrets doing something as ridiculous as this, especially with these ridiculous feelings*:

--

:*speechless, only able to focus on the other’s eyes as he wonders if this is a ploy to rid the guilt he must be feeling, or even an apology* .. *once again feelings open inside him that he pushes deep down inside, too afraid to begin to try and understand them* ... *decides it doesn’t hurt to let this happen, just this once, so he keeps quiet, getting situated in a more permanent position* .. Don’t ruffle up my pillows too much.:

--

:Fuck off. *frowns, and he responds by grabbing at the pillow beneath him, ruffling it up before leaning his head back against it* *somehow, the humor deflates the situation, and he can’t help but smile, unable to repress the short, quiet laugh that follows*:

--

:*a little in awe at hearing the other laugh, that not being something he’s heard since his arrival, and somehow it makes him want to smile* *feels strange with another person in his bed after going so many years alone, but as he examines the other, he doesn’t find it as much of a problem as he assumed* ... To make up for your misbehaviour, you’ll take me to the tourist attractions tomorrow as a proper spouse should.:

--

:*the conversation is a nice distraction, he muses* I was already going to. *truthfully, he had been, finding it ridiculous that someone can live in New York City without ever having traveled farther than a quarter mile radius* Where first?:

--

:*isn’t sure what’s considered a tourist attraction other than the obvious, which he says* The Statue of Liberty. *yawns a little, his eyes settling lower as he grows tired once again* ... Я боюсь, что мне может быть одиноко, когда ты уйдешь.:

 ((‘I’m worried that I may be lonely when you leave’))

--

:*it takes a moment to realize he's not speaking English, and what he says catches him off guard, making him pause* … Так почему ты привел меня сюда?:

 (‘So the reason you brought me here was true?’)

--

:*immediately shakes his head, even if he can’t see it* До сих пор я не чувствовал себя одиноким. Я не думал, что когда- *the remainder of his sentence is abnormally quiet* Растите, как вы.:

 (‘I didn’t feel lonely until now. I didn’t think I’d ever- Grow to like you’)

((The grow to like you has a more serious translation than he thinks))

--

:*eyes widen, and his breath catches in his throat, coughing a little* - Sorry. *offers quickly in English, simultaneously wondering if Near even knows what he said or even meant it* .. *responds, quiet* .. Тогда, возможно, вам следовало быть более осторожным, когда вы решили купить меня. Могла бы получить девушку, так как ты только в мужчинах. Тогда они не будут тебе нравиться.:

 (‘Then maybe you should have been more careful when you decided to purchase me. Could've gotten a girl, since you're only into men. Then they're be no chance you'd like her.’)

--

:*glares at him for a moment* Я не просто люблю мужчин, я же вам говорил. *after that his face softens again, too tired to think about being irritated* Я купил тебя, чтобы быть противоположным тому, чего хотели мои родители. Я не думал, что мы поладим.:

 (‘I don't exclusively like men, I told you that.’

‘I purchased you in order to be the opposite of what my parent’s wanted. I didn't expect us to get along.’)

--

:*his eyes sharpen into a glare, but it only lasts a moment before his expression softens just slightly* Я тоже не ожидал, что ты мне понравишься. *suddenly realizes what he initially says, backtracking to it, unable to help the curiosity* Итак, вы были с девушкой раньше?:

 (‘I didn't expect to like you either.’

‘So, you've been with a girl before?’)

--

:.. Никогда. *doesn't want to deal with his mockery, so he turns his head into the pillow, mumbling* Вы не должны быть в отношениях, как пол.:

 (‘Never’

‘You don't have to be in a relationship to like a certain gender.’)

--

:Hm. *a moment passes before he reaches over, pushing against the side of his head, wondering why he's suddenly facing away* .. Ты прячешься.:

 (‘You’re hiding.’)

--

:*looks at him without any chance to not as he’s holding his head up, having to stare into the other’s eyes with a bashful look mixed with irritation that very few could translate* - You’ll make fun of me. You mock me because of my lack of experience.:

--

:Я - I don't fucking care. *responds truthfully, wondering why he's making a big deal out of it, and he rests his hand beneath his head to prevent him from looking away again, despite it being a childish maneuver* I’m just curious. That's all.:

--

:... *surrenders to the other, simply relaxing his head against his hand, too tired to try and struggle past it* I don’t know that gender matters to my feelings. It just so happens that those who I enjoy the company of have been men.:

--

:’Men’? *notices the plurality of the word, though he's only picking* ... Where are you from, anyway? *realizes the entire time he's been there, he's never asked, and at this point he decides to not bother wondering why his curiosity has grown this much, steadily growing tired*:

--

:*thinks about the question, and if it’s really alright to trust someone with that intimate information* ... Japan. We also lived in the United Kingdom for a few years, but the majority of my life was lived in the Asia.:

--

:.. You don’t look Japanese. *scrutinizes him, though the more he looks, the more he can somewhat see it, but it’s definitely not obvious*:

--

:I took more after my mother. *says bluntly, though even he has some Japanese descent* He was born and raised in England, hence why we lived there for a short time.:

 --

:He? *points the word out, knowing he didn't mistranslate, simultaneously adjusting himself in the bed to get more comfortable, tugging the blankets up* Your parents are both men?:

--

:*all he does is give a simple nod, wondering if the other has an issue with such- which, wouldn't be a problem considering why he’s here* Does that make you uncomfortable? Russia still prohibits same-sex pregnancy, I realize.:

 ((Get topical))

--

:For all I know, my parents were both men. *rationalizes that, but it does remind him of the many horror stories he's heard whilst growing up, but he never thought about it much beyond that* .. No. I've told you; romance is distraction, whether it's between man and woman or man and man. I don't particularly care either way. And I assume you weren't actually born in Russia.:

--

:You are correct. *admires Mello’s open-mindedness, it being a rare trait in an area where everyone is forced fed the same information* *smiles slightly, deciding to tease him* -Is that why you so easily accepted to bear my child?:

--

: - What? *frowns, pulling his hand away, a short huff immediately following* I never said I'd get pregnant - Or pregnant you. Obviously I wouldn't have allowed earlier to happen without some means of protection.:

 ((he means impregnate))

--

:Impregnate. *smiles a little wider, amused by his slip-ups and frustration* Are you saying you’d like to have sex with me?:

--

:*the correction falls deaf on his ears at Near’s next statement, and once again, his breath catching* - I didn’t imply that. All I said was if such thing were to happen, we wouldn’t be stupid about it.:

--

:*only gives him a small hum in agreement, but he can’t help but be satisfied by just his thought over the matter, no matter how intimidating sex is* *thinks about that as he stares at the other, and without thinking he reaches out to him* -- Maybe we could start with being close. Just for now.:

--

:*hesitates, wondering if this is Near’s way of making an excuse to indulge in his feelings - whatever those might be* ... *moves closer, drawing him closer, and wrapping an arm around his middle* .. Close enough?:

--

:*doesn’t know what he expects when Mello wraps an arm around him, but to his surprise he doesn’t dislike the feeling like he thought he would, it in fact feels warm, almost inviting* *gives a small nod, resting his arms between them* You’re not uncomfortable, are you?:

--

:I wouldn’t have laid down with you if I was. .. Idiot. *adds on with a mumble, resting his cheek against Near’s forehead, looking out into the dark* Besides.. *a yawn makes its way out, and he closes his eyes, feeling rather exhausted, as well as strangely at peace* ... You’re lonely.:

--

:I’m not- *the yawn is contagious, and he easily settles in the position, forgetting about battling his accusation, even if he doesn't believe it* .. Let’s sleep. I’ll need all of my energy for tomorrow.:

--

:What’s tomorrow? *mumbles tiredly, slowly being lulled to sleep by the other’s warmth* - Tourism. *offers simply, realizing what he means* .. Yeah, whatever. Let’s sleep.:

--

:*all the thoughts are easily dulled by his exhaustion, and he simply enjoys the pleasant feeling of the other’s hold as he closes his eyes* Goodnight then, Mello.:

--

:.. Good night. *responds, his voice quiet and void of his bite, not even a subtle trace to be found* *the moment he speaks, he feels himself drift off, consciousness fading* ...:

--

**

--

:*after another two weeks have gone by, seemingly in a blink of an eye, Near find himself in the place where he normally is, with his blocks* *the past two weeks have brought Mello and himself closer than what he assumed would ever be possible for him. Their arguing was cut down dramatically, and one way or another they always ended up in the same bed, just like a routine. Things were content, and he was truly beginning to enjoy Mello’s company* *he stares at legos, barely able to focus as he thinks over how, after this day, things will go back to normal, and the blond will be out of his life for good* ... *internally he battles against his feelings, telling himself that this will be for the best, and after the plans and instructions he gave Mello, he remember how harsh the other can be, and it will make this ordeal easier for him to let go* *every so often he checks up at the clock, making sure the time doesn’t get away from him until his parents arrive* ---Are you almost ready?:

((The plan he’s mentioning is how Mello is going to act really rude and stuff))

--

:*currently residing in a comfortable chair, one leg crossed over the other as he has a book propped up on his knee, idly reading it* *secretly though, he has to refrain from allowing his apathetic expression to slip, growing more amused over his idea as the time draws nearer* *looks over towards Near, before noting the clock* Been ready.:

--

:Are you sure? *looks up at him with complete seriousness* I don't want you to do anything too crude, these are my parents after all.:

--

:I’m going to act ‘normal’, just like you asked me to. *raises an eyebrow, feeling almost offended* What the hell could I do that would be considered ‘crude’?:

--

:I’m not sure, like put a gun in my father’s face? *mumbles as he goes back to his blocks, trying to distract himself from all of these thoughts running through his head* Just behave, but not too much. And--:

 *a few knocks sound off the front door*

 :--! They’re here. *looks at Mello quickly as he stands up* Go back to your room until I call for you.:

--

:*rolls his eyes, closing the book and standing up, beginning towards the door exiting into the hallway* Whatever. Let me know. *disappears into the hallway and towards his room, shutting the door behind him*:

--

:*once Mello is out of the way, he takes a deep breath and moves towards the door, opening it wide to expose both of his parents* Mother, Father. Welcome back.:

 “*looks down at his son with warm eyes, his hand swiftly going to swoop down and pat Near’s head* Thank you very much, Near. We’re happy to see you again.”

--

“*as he enters, he sees nothing has changed except for perhaps a few more piles of books in the room than usual, but his focus immediately goes to Near, but he doesn’t offer to embrace him, knowing if he did he’d be pushed away* It’s good to see you, Nate. How has it been going?”

--

:Fine. *answers simply, not needing to give anything away so quickly* *goes back to where he was before the others showed up, starting up once more* How was your meeting with the commissioner?:

 “Unnecessary, as always. *mumbles as he sits on the couch nearby, legs pulled up to his chest* Things were much easier when I could handle meetings over a computer screen.”

--

“At least it wasn’t that long of a meeting. We handled it rather quickly - Mostly, they wanted to confirm information we’d already discussed over email. *decides to move the subject matter towards Near, curious* How’s work?”

--

:Nothing of true importance to speak about. *says with a small shrug, that being at least true on the business half of his life* Everything has been relatively calm.:

 “Good to hear. *responds simply, knowing Near would handle things either way* And you’re doing well? Personally?”

 :*gives his mother a small nod, but he sees this as a way to get their attention* Better than normal. I’ve decided to take father’s advice, after all.:

--

“ - *that certainly catches his attention, and he wonders what advice he’s referring to* - Oh? And what’s that? *laughs a little* Surely not that you’d go out and start dating. Are you thinking about moving with us to Japan?”

--

:No, father. *a little perturbed that he’s still bringing that up, but he ignores it to get the satisfaction in the end* I did listen to your advice on wanting me to find a relationship.:

 “*eyes widen at that, certainly not expecting something so completely abnormal for Near to happen in just a short time since they’ve been gone* You’re- dating? When did you meet this person?”

 :Shortly after you went back to Japan. I took father’s advice to heart, since it was so important to you. But we aren’t dating. *looks right at Light now, a certain smug look in his eyes* I’m married.:

--

“ - *his breath catches, that word being the last he expected to hear* - What? *wonders if Near’s just pulling his leg, or if this is some sort of scheme to convince him that somehow he’s married, because the other alternative is impossible, especially considering the time restraint* - Married? It's only been a couple of months. Who could you have met and fallen in love with in just that short amount of time?”

 ((do they all speak English or Japanese))

--

:*the expression that his father gives is exactly what he wanted, but he easily hides the smile he wants to show off* Why don't you meet him yourself? He’s here, after all. His primary language is Russian, but he’s proficient in English so I would prefer you speak as such.:

 “*still in a state of shock to hear such news from his son, of all people* *has a bad feeling about this, knowing who he is, and knowing his primarily goal is to clash with his father, so he can’t imagine the person to be savory* .. Let’s meet him then.”

 :*stands up at that, walking to the hallway, only stopping at the edge before he calls out* Mello, my parents are here. You can come out. *turns back to the living room, his eyes mainly on his father* Don’t panic, he’s slightly- rough around the edges.:

--

“*at the mention that his husband is here, something he doubted would actually be true, his surprise grows - but at Near’s description, he grows concerned, wondering what exactly that constitutes* *turns to L, wondering if he's thinking the same thing* ..”

 :*disguises his crude smile as a gentle, inviting one, flattening out the sweater he’s donning and straightening the collar around his neck* *does one last check in the mirror for his hair, which is perfectly in place, hanging freely, but it's been pushed away from his face, one side tucked behind his ear, a careful amount of hairspray holding it in place to look put together* *honestly, as he observes himself in the mirror, he can hardly recognize his appearance, but that's all for the better, and so once he's satisfied, he turns away and heads into the hallway, reaching the large doors entering into Near’s office, eyes first going to the males who must be his parents* *easily detects which one is Near’s father, based on his dress and stuck up expression, offering his hand out with a smile* Hello, it’s nice to finally meet you. How are you?:

 “*at the male’s presence, he’s surprised - but certainly pleased - by the picture perfect appearance to which he considers fine, and so he smiles brightly, reaching out to shake his hand, obviously happy in how this situation is turning out so far* I’m well. It's nice to meet you too; why is it we haven't heard about you yet?”

 ((‘Dress’ referring to his manner of dressing, not like an actual dress btw))

--

((I know Haley xD))

 :*instead of the person expression of mortification, he sees his father is actually pleased, and immediately the smug look in his eyes dies* *immediately looks to see why he’d ever give Mello a look like that, but his eyes widen as he realizes that ‘Mello’ did not walk out of the bedroom* *actually speechless as he stares at him, not even knowing he had such an outfit* This- is Mihael.. *knows he has to say something, hoping that this is just an addition to the real plan* -- I wanted you to be surprised and be able to meet him in person.:

 “*just like Light he is pleasantly surprised to see the person who walks out of the hallway, it not at all what he was dreading to see* *relaxes slightly, but naturally he still keeps his reservations until he can know the other well enough to make a decision* It’s nice to meet you, Mihael. My name is L, and my husband is Light.”

--

:*has to hide his smirk from seeing Near’s reaction out of the corner of his eye, and he moves to L now, offering his hand to shake* Your son has told me much about you.:

 “Has he? I assume good things. *smiles, giving L a look that suggests he’s pleased, but also not yet making a decision over whether he likes him or not, especially considering what Near said in warning* How about we continue this conversation over lunch? We could eat here, if you'd like. *looks to Near, considering his feelings*”

 :Anything is fine by me. Though, I have been trying to convince Near to go out more - Which has surprisingly been successful. *smiles, looking towards Near and reaching out to take hold of his hand* We've been visiting tourist destinations around New York recently.:

--

:*slightly frigid as he looks toward Mello, not able to get over this new persona, and more so how he’s ruining what he had intended for this day* *feelings trapped by this, knowing he has to go along with it or else he’ll make himself the fool, so he takes the other’s hand, mumbling* ... Going out with fine.:

 “*his eyes go up, impressed, as they’ve tried several times and never convinced their son to go out* Well then, I suppose that’s what we’ll do. Light, you did mention a restaurant on our way here that you wanted to attend.”

--

“You’re right. *nods, recalling the restaurant seemed rather nice, and a perfect setting to have their first dinner with the new husband* I think it's Italian cuisine. How does that sound?”

 :*smiles and offers a short nod, simultaneously linking his fingers with Near’s and offering a short squeeze, though rather than out of affection, it's out of amusement, enjoying playing this little game he's created* That sounds perfect.:

--

“*with everyone in agreeance, he stands up, nudging Light with his foot to get up and moving towards the door* Let’s get going, I suddenly have a large appetite.”

 :*reluctantly agrees, and he’s about to follow before he sits back, holding Mello in place also* Mihael, will you go with me to m-- our room? I left my shoes in there. *doesn’t wait to get an answer before he pulls him along through the hallway, not even bothering to go into the room as he just turns around toward him, looking none too pleased* What do you think you’re doing? You’re supposed to make them hate you.:

--

:*as he’s dragged into the hallway, he finally allows the façade to drop* *smirks, looking down at him with utter amusement* I thought it would be - more fun this way. *gestures to their link fingers, holding their hands up* Consider it revenge.:

--

:*gives him an incredulous look, fearing everything that he’s doing will only make things worse for him when he leaves* You can’t- We had an agreement, Mello. Do you truly want to risk your freedom for revenge?:

--

:*raises an eyebrow, though his threat for some reason doesn’t strike the same chord of anger as it usually does* Do you honestly want me sticking around anyway? However I act today doesn’t make difference.:

--

:... *no matter how he rationalizes it in his head, the nagging decision to tell the truth sets priority in his mind, but thankfully he has enough sense to ignore it* ... Fine. Do what you want, but you’ll slip up at some point today. I’ll get what I want.:

--

:We’ll see about that. *offers another smile, one that suggests he knows he’ll win this, and he brings Near’s hand up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of his knuckles* C’mon, spouse. Let’s go out to eat, like a normal family.:

 “*having been wandering around Near’s office, taking a look at things, he decides to head into the hallway to see what’s taking so long* *once he sees the two in the hallway, he smiles, comfortably leaning against the door as he gets their attention* Nate, are you almost ready?”

 :*at the name, the corner of his lip curls up in amusement, giving Near a look* - Yes, Nate, do you want me to get your shoes for you?:

--

:-? *suddenly grows embarrassed and irritated, both from having his father see them in a seemingly intimate setting and having his real name exposed so easily* *retracts his hand from Mello, but trying to keep the kind facade, wanting Mello to be the only cause of his mess up* Please. I wouldn’t want to keep mother waiting any more.:

--

:Of course. *offers him a sweet look, one that he ensures Near’s father will see, before disappearing into Near’s room, smile immediately vanishing as he looks around, not having a clue where Near keeps his things* *finds a closet door, sliding it open and finding a neat collection of extra clothing and shoes, and it’s not much, but he hasn’t seen Near wearing any of it* *grabs the only pair of tennis shoes he sees, before heading back towards the hallway*:

 “*before Mello returns, he offers a knowing smile to Near, waiting a moment before speaking* .. He seems like a decent man. How did you find someone like that?”

 ((internet))

--

:-- Halle introduced me to him after I told her of your advice. *mumbles the only logical excuse he could muster, watching the door to wait until the other arrives with his shoes* .. You’re clearly happy about this.:

--

“Well, I’m happy you took my advice. *steps closer to him, reaching out to gently hold his arm* I’m proud of you for going out of your comfort zone. Don’t you think it’s worth it?”

 :*returns with the shoes in hand and a fake, gentle expression* Here, would you like me to put them on for you? *gestures the shoes for Near to see*:

--

:*doesn’t answer his father right away, it actually forcing him to think about his real-life situation* ... I suppose it was. *gives Mello a dazed look, but he quickly comes to, realizing he might as well use the other while he has no reason to deny him* Yes, thank you.:

 “*comes stalking back to the hallway, angrily chewing on his thumb as he tugs Light on the collar* I went all the way to the entrance before I realized you weren’t following me.”

--

“ - *raises an eyebrow, frowning* Do you not actually look to see if I’m there? *takes a few steps closer to L, before pulling his phone from his pocket* I’ll call the car and let them know we’re ready to leave again.”

 :*as Light and L aren’t looking, he shoots Near a quiet, dirty look, leaning down on his knee and forcing his foot up and off the ground, pushing it into the correct shoe, before doing the same with the other* - Perfect. *despite the sweet tone, his expression is still laced with annoyance* Ready?:

 ((light’s referring to a private car))

--

:*sees the look that Mello gives him, and that suddenly sparks a plan in his mind* *doesn’t give an ounce to Mello, only responding in a nice tone back while taking his hand again* Of course, dear.:

 “*temporarily distracted by the two in the corner, specifically his son, as he’s never seen him like this before, but he only smiles* Let’s go then. -And hopefully everyone will follow me this time.”

--

**

--

“*as they step into one of the large, living rooms on the same floor as Near’s main area of living, he relaxes into one of the love seats, allowing room for L to sit next to him if he desires* Well, that was actually pretty good. I’m glad we went there.”

 :*nods in agreement, despite the fact the food was less than enjoyable - and he had to actually eat all his food before getting dessert* *sits on the love seat opposite of Light, facing him, going against the instinct to sit improperly and instead sitting up straight with one leg crossed simply over the other, and he gestures for Near to follow him* Yes, I’ve always been fan of Italian cuisine. It was wonderful suggestion on your part.:

--

:*wants to roll his eyes at Mello’s formal way of speaking, assuming he took lessons from a textbook or television* It was fine. *sits down beside him nonetheless, contemplating how exactly he should enact his plan, but for now, he goes with the flow of conversation * -- Father, Mother, you should tell Mihael what you do. He’s certainly a fan of the line of work:

 “Oh? *muses as he sits in his normal position on the couch, intrigued* I am surprised that would request that, Near. I would assume it would scare anyone away.”

--

:*as Near sits, he places an arm around his shoulders* Scared? *smiles, looking curious, though he does have an idea as to what it is, considering Near’s line of work* Well, what is it?:

 “*looks to L, and he knows he can trust Near, but even so, he won’t release too much detail* L and I are in the same line of work. I’m the head chief of the Japanese police, and L is a private detective. Though, we work together on many cases.”

 : - Interesting. That sounds fascinating. *reaches forward, picking up one of the cookies on a tray resting on the table between them, a small set up of snacks and tea prepared for them when they first arrived* So, very similar to Nate’s work. *at the name, he offers a quick glance to Near through his peripherals, having full intentions of discussing it later*:

--

:*amused by the reaction, that is until he calls him by his first name* Near, Mihael. You know I prefer that--:

 “*pipes in, knowing how to settle Near before he gets upset, having plenty of experience with him and Light* Near, of course, is my successor. I’m rather good at what I do, so I would have needed to find one either way. But luckily Light found me first so that I didn’t need to look so far. *finds his own humor rather hilarious, but sees only pity smiles, so he continues* For now, Near controls everything in select countries as a primary, and also helps with cases I have no time for.”

 :*gives a small nod in acknowledgement, turning a strand of hair around his finger* Russia in particular is my mother’s dominion, so hopefully you were clean of any incriminating charges before you left or it would mean trouble for you- *gives Mello a small smile, seemingly to be a joke to his parents, but the other should see the truth in it* hm, Mihael?:

--

: - Right. *chuckles in response, jokingly adding on* You got me. *secretly, he feels almost nervous, the presence of especially L a bit intimidating, but so far it looks like he’s easily fooled both of them*:

 “*laughs shortly, the idea that Mello of all people could be truly a criminal borderline hilarious, especially considering after the entire afternoon, he’s deemed him to be perfectly suitable for Near* Though, L, didn’t you say the mafia there has been causing trouble for you?”

--

“I wouldn’t go as far to say they’ve been troubling me. *mumbles, rubbing his thumb over his bottom lip, his expression growing a little annoyed* But they certainly have gotten unruly as of late. I’m suspecting their leader has been MIA for a while now, and they’re just now beginning to really feel the affects of it.”

 :Really, mother? *seems interested, even if he already knows all of this- after all, he does have the former boss under his roof* Then it should be easy for you to break it apart while it’s weak. *gives a small glance to Mello* Or perhaps the boss was the cause of the decline in the first place.:

--

:*looks to Near with only the slightest hint of surprise, not wanting to give any indication that something’s wrong to the others, but he’s wondering how on earth he found out about his connections with the mafia, or if he’s just a hell of a good guesser* *laughs it off, taking a bite from the cookie in his hand* I don’t know much about these things.:

 “Well, you’re an author, right? You don’t keep up with these things, nor do you even have the ability to access that information. *looks to L, responding to his suggestion* - You know, I think you’re right. From what you’ve shown me, it’s almost exactly like what happened in Italy.”

--

“Ah, yes, that was quite a fortunate situation for me. *smiles, happy to recall that case for him* It was only a short time before their entire base was revealed.”

 :*doesn’t respond to Mello’s look, only focusing on his parents to keep from giving him any answers* The old boss should be thankful if he isn’t already dead, your wrath is particularly strong, mother. I would hate to be on the receiving end of it.:

--

:*reaches over to take hold of Near’s hand, disguising the movement as gentle, but almost unnoticeably squeezing it tightly, obviously none-too-pleased* Right. It’s hard to believe that sort of thing actually exists.:

 “Crime lurks everywhere. *reaches forward, grabbing one of the glasses of water set out for them, and he also takes one of the pastries, instinctively offering it to L* Even in places it doesn’t seem like it. People are very good at hiding it, but not good enough.”

--

“*is ready to roll his eyes at Light’s dramatic speech, but the sweets dangled in front of him distract any thought from that, taking it and effortlessly stuffing it into his mouth while still talking* Enough of this talk, surely Mihael isn’t interested in our work. This is about catching up with our son.”

 :*wants to frown at the sudden pressure on his hand, but he keeps a solid face, not wanting to give off like something is wrong* *squeezes his hand back as hard as he can, all the while thinking of anything that may set the other off* -- We’re talking of having a child.:

--

“ - Already? *frowns, setting down the glass after taking a sip, looking concernedly towards Near* Isn’t it a little too soon? I wouldn’t want you to rush into anything.”

 : - He’s right. *continues, as though further explaining what Near means* It’s something we both want, but you’re right, it’s something that won’t happen for a while. *turns to Near, smiling, but there’s hidden anger behind his expression* - Right, Na - I mean, Near?:

--

:Right. *agrees with a cool tone, making no stands against the other, but his glance goes back to his parent’s, knowing exactly how to hit the other* We would prefer to wait until Mihael’s ready to bear the child.:

 “Oh? *seems slightly surprised by that, noticing the type of man Mihael seems to be, but he isn’t too quick to judge* Good for you then. As long as you two are sure, the right time will come.”

--

:*his grip on Near’s hand tightens, anger steadily consuming him that he would make such an assumption* - Is there something wrong with you bearing child?:

 “*the somewhat harsh tone from Mello surprises him, but since it was only one statement, he easily excuses it, figuring it must be a touchy subject* *interrupts, before Near can respond* Well, you have all the time in the world to think about this. You’re both still very young.”

--

:*easily ignores his father, seeing that he’s struck the chord in Mello that he expected, so he goes along with it* I’ve already discussed this with you. I need to focus on my career, but beings that your an author, you’re able to take the necessary time to properly rest. You’re my wife, after all.:

 “-? *a little surprised at that, as he thankfully can say he’s never assumed anything from his son, but he never expected the bold decisions* *speaks up, noticing that both of them are getting more animated than what he’s seen over the afternoon* -Perhaps you shouldn’t concern yourself over this now.”

--

:*scoffs, that igniting an immediate fire in him, and he snaps back, as though having no control over his words* Ну, в зависимости от того, как ты, бля, шумешь и действуешь, когда ты под мной, кажется, черт возьми, ты п��едпочитаешь быть трахнутым, чем я.:

 “*doesn’t understand enough Russian to properly decipher the lingo, and while he does catch a few words, he’s mostly worried over the tone he exhibits* - Alright, I think you need to calm down. - Why don’t we move onto something else to talk about?”

 (‘Well, based on how you fucking sound and act when you're under me, it sure as hell seems you'd much prefer being fucked than me.’)

--

“*unlike Light he is proficient in the other’s language, it immediately putting a dark expression on his face, straightening his figure as he calls out quickly* Mihael, that isn’t at all appropriate to say in front of his parents.”

 :Ой? *speaks as if he isn’t phased whatsoever by his words, so much that he leans in to whisper in his ear, not wanting his parent’s, moreso his mother, to hear* Я владею тобой, ты будешь делать все, что я скажу.:

 (‘I own you, you will do everything I say.’)

--

:*looks in almost panic towards Light and L once L speaks, having forgotten they were even there* *returns to Near, sneering at the pathetic attempt to enrage him further (though, it does work)* *responds quietly, threateningly* Вы бы предпочли рассказать своим родителям, как мы на самом деле встретились?:

 “*looks towards L, concerned, demanding answers* What’s going on? What did he say?”

 (‘Would you prefer tell your parents how we actually met?’)

 ((I just rly don’t think Light knows Russian btw, he’s never had a reason to like L))

--

“*looks confused himself, not understanding because they’re speaking to themselves, so he shakes his head* Don’t concern yourself with it. Perhaps they’re just having a argument. Near, Mihael, please take a moment to calm down.”

 :*eyes widen, genuinely afraid for him to say something like that to his parents, lest this entire event be something he’ll be put down for* Я сделаю так, чтобы тебя арестовали за твою неудачу.:

 (‘I’ll have you arrested for the failure you are.’)

--

:*physically feels rage filling him, and at that, he immediately stands, storming away from Near* Fuck off. *murmurs, before leaving the room in an instant*:

 “ ... *watches as Mello leaves, growing further confused, various possibilities going through his head over what could have possibility caused this dispute* .. - Nate, whatever this issue is, you need to either tell us so we can help, or talk to him.”

--

:-? *didn’t expect Mello to leave without anymore fight, and immediately he’s compelled to follow him* -- I’m sorry Mother, Father. I’ll go speak to him.:

 “*before Near to leave the room he catches him, gently asking* Do you want one of us to come with you?”

 :.. *shakes his head, appreciating the concern, but his mind is only focused on finding the other* Please make yourselves comfortable, we’ll be back shortly. *starts into the hallway at that, quickly making his way to Mello’s room, where the other has yet to lock the door* *comes in, only making his way in enough to shut the door* What are you doing? I thought you were so sure about making them love you.:

--

((mello is so defensive about his masculinity lol))

 :*had just been about the slide the lock in place when Near walks in, and he steps back, more so out of surprise he actually immediately followed him rather than purposefully allowing him in the room* Who cares? I only did it to piss you off.:

--

:*frowns, forgetting that his attempts were solely to make him upset, and while that makes him feel less guilty, he presses further* Then why storm out of the room? You knew I had to stop whatever you were doing.:

--

: - You’re fucking annoying. That’s why. *crosses his arms, turning around and walking to sit on the edge of his bed, facing away from him and towards the window, not at all in the mood to be around him right now* You were purposefully - instigating me. And you know it.:

--

:Obviously. *mumbles, walking only a few steps further, casually twirling his hair* Your whole purpose for being here was to make a bad impression. I had no other choice.:

--

:And you decided the way to piss me off was to say I’d have your children? *glances behind him, scoffing* You’re ridiculous. You could have at least thought of something better to say.:

--

:*simply rolls his eyes* Out of everything we’ve argued about, your masculinity has always brought on the biggest outburst. It was the obvious way to go. *grows tired of standing, so he sits beside him, not caring if he has an issue with it* Let’s go back out there so we can finish this once and for all.:

--

: - Whatever. *decides to drop the issue, not wanting Near to go into further detail, and he turns his body away, resting a bent leg on the bed* .. Why did you follow me, anyway? You could have finished this on your own.:

--

:*wasn’t expecting the question, and he would rather go without it for his own sake, but he sits there, silent until he manages a response* --At first I felt wrong for upsetting you. Maybe I was feeding too much in the delusion that our marriage was real.:

--

:Is it? *asks rhetorically as a small smile appears on his face, but it’s not seen by Near since he’s facing away* *the smile fades, quickly recalling his anger* Well, do you not feel wrong now?:

--

:I think it was only fair considering you’re making things difficult very difficult for me. *mumbles, crossing his arms over his legs* *pauses, his tone growing slightly more solemn as he thinks over the situation* I don’t know what I’m going to tell my parents when you’re suddenly out of my life, considering how ‘happy’ we’ve been this entire time.:

--

:*turns his head slightly towards him, a little surprised he’s already concerning himself with it* ... It’s not all that uncommon for couples to get divorced. Besides, doesn’t every couple go through some sort of ‘honeymoon’ phase, or whatever?:

--

:*shakes his head, not accepting what the other has to say* There’s no chance that I would marry someone without an absolute certainty of the other person. *looks around the room, distracting himself as he considers his choices* -My other option is to have it look like a unforeseen death. Perhaps a car accident- or an illness. That would be less documented.:

--

:*turns sharply towards him, perplexed* What - You’re not going to kill me off. That’s pathetic. What’s so wrong with you just divorcing me without having to make up some stupid story of my death?:

--

:I told you, that would make it seem like I made a bad decision. *gives him a small look, frustrated by his questions* Why does it even matter to you? This isn’t your life. You’ll be long gone.:

--

:*frowns, averting his eyes towards the window facing out as he realizes he’s right, that he has no true reason to be upset over Near’s plan* ... Well, an illness seems like hassle. If you’re so fucking rich, you’d do everything in your power to get me best medical care. Pick something else.:

--

:Being rich has nothing to do with it. *says with a somewhat harsh tone, quickly turning away from him* No matter how much money one has, it can’t always change the outcome. You’re going to die, and I’m going to be alone, like it was meant to be in the beginning.:

--

((sounds familiar))

 :*looks towards him, wondering where this is coming from, as the last time they’ve discussed this a month prior, he was sure he was only speaking out of tiredness, as he didn’t show any indication he still felt that way afterwards* .. You act as though I’m actually going to die.:

 ((light and l be like, ‘hurry the fuck up’))

--

:-Perhaps it’ll be easier to think that way. *whispers, hurriedly standing from the bed, wanting to leave before he lets his emotions get the better of him* Come on then, my parents are waiting.:

--

:*wonders over his sudden rush, and he stands, immediately following after him* Right, remain completely unattached from everyone around you. Why not just think same for your parents?:

--

:*the comment has him pausing, his hand just barely at the door knob before he catches him* I’m unattached from you for a reason. I don’t want my feelings to grow for someone who wants nothing more from me than a ticket to freedom. *his hand drops to his side, actually managing to calm down as he filters his words* ..Please understand that this is already hard on me.:

--

:*guilt washes over him, and he moves closer, standing just a few feet behind him as he chooses his next words carefully* ... You aren’t unattached from me.:

--

:... *doesn’t respond initially, internally trying to deny the accusation, to try and find anything to say other than the truth, but he fails* ..I don’t know why. I’ve thought over it countless times, so much that it’s kept me awake at night, but- I am:

--

: ... *the confession is startling, if not a little unsettling, especially considering it describes exactly what he’s been going through* .. *without saying that aloud, he instead steps forward, moving his arms around Near into an embrace* *a moment passes before he speaks* .. You realize if I leave, that doesn’t mean we can’t still - talk, or whatever.

 ((if))

--

:*the hold comes as a shock, almost causing him to flinch at the sudden touch, but once he understands what he’s doing, the warmth comforts him, despite it being such a difficult topic* I- don’t think I’ll be happy knowing you’re out there, possibly finding other people’s company.:

--

:*rests his chin atop his head, inhaling the subtle scent of his hair, and he rationalizes the personal touch as feeling sorry for the other* Are you jealous?:

--

:No. *he says quickly, immediately flustered whenever he brings up such a topic* .. You’re my spouse, no matter where you go.:

--

:It’s okay if you actually like me. Or are attracted to me, whichever. *slides one of his arms around his waist, pulling him against his chest, the position and change of conversation directing at Near making him feel more in control, less aware of his own feelings* Though, you have to realize you have bias. You’re not around anyone else all time.:

--

:*reluctantly has no retort to Mello’s statement, though he allows him to pull him closer, even holding his arms around him loosely* I don’t deny that there is some bias. *looks up at him, his eyebrows going up* - but what is your excuse? You have plenty of experience with society, and yet you’re here holding me.:

--

: - We’re married. *retracts his arms, moving past him to open the door* Let’s just pretend we've made up and deal with your parents.:

--

:*can’t help but smile at his reaction, knowing what it means without him having to say it directly* *gives him a small nod, moving forward, but not without taking his hand to lead him out* Let’s go. *walks out and into the hallway, coming back with a much more calm expression*:

 “*leaning against Light with his attention on another pastry, but he suddenly gets up once he sees them, eyeing particularly Mihael* Is everything alright now?”

--

:*puts on a sweet smile, squeezing Near’s hand and glancing towards him, before offering an explanation to them as they walk towards the seating area* We have fights all the time, but we always make up.:

 “*the explanation makes sense, especially considering Near definitely takes after L, and he and L have quite the few spats - but even so, he feels somewhat wary* .. Are you sure that everything’s alright? *leans forward, idly pushing the tray of pastries away to make sure L doesn’t take anymore* If there’s something wrong, you know you can tell us.”

--

:It’s nothing wrong, father. *responds in a quiet tone, wanting to be as confident as possible* It was a foolish argument, but we’ve talked, and everything is fine. *gives Mello a small smile, though he isn’t sure if it’s just for show, or genuine after their talk* Our marriage still stands.:

 “*frowns at the sweets being taken away from him, but he catches the site of Mihael and Near, and it instantly calms him* *something still feels off with their relationship, but he can’t help but think that things will be alright with his son, so he simply nods* I’m happy to hear it.”

--

:*sits down, bringing Near to follow him with his arm around his shoulders* But - maybe we should avoid talking about having family. For now, of course. *smiles, laughing the situation off*:

 “*begins to feel better about this, taking a sip of his tea, all the while keeping an eye on L’s actions to make sure he doesn’t make a lunge for the sweets* I’m sure the day will come where you’ll agree, anyway.”

--

:We’ll see. *keeps a light-hearted tone, not wanting to bring up the fact that it of course won’t be happening* How long will you and father be staying in America, mother?:

 “For now your father’s business with the government is complete. We’ll leave tomorrow, and we shouldn’t have to return for quite some time. *speaks honestly, though, he knows they still will come back, if only to see their son*”

--

:Your work is - ‘mobile’, right? Why don’t you move here, to New York? *asks despite knowing well enough that’s a ridiculous proposition, one that he doesn’t even want occurring if he gets free*:

 “*laughs shortly* Well, we own a home in Japan already, so we couldn’t possibly move to a whole new country. *looks towards Near* In fact, we’ve been hoping Near will move to Japan at some point.”

--

:*rolls his eyes, ignoring his look* Father, we aren’t moving to Japan. Mihael just managed to settle in a new country, and he doesn’t know Japanese.:

 “Oh, he doesn’t? *decides to tease Mihael a little, switching his tongue to the language to he can’t understand as a bit of revenge for earlier* *turns to Light* If we get rid of him, Near won’t have any excuses left. Our little boy will have to return with us.”

 :*eyes widen slightly, less to the morbid joke and more to the embarrassing name* Mother--:

 ((I feel too weebish when i use kanji but he spoke in japanese for that))

--

((i gotchu))

 :*as L switches to the new language, he frowns, absolutely hating when people speak in a language he doesn’t know around him, but he holds his tongue* *once Near speaks, he grows even more confused* - What’s going on?:

 “Oh - Nothing. L just wants Near to move back with us. *switches to Japanese, responding to L with a smile* Though, it’s not a bad idea.”

--

“What a dastardly thought, commissioner. *grins wide, leaning into Light with full intentions of kissing him*”

 :-! *disgusted by his parent’s show of affection, looking away immediately* They’re two of the most powerful men in the world, but they-- are still normal parents. *mumbles grimly, not wanting to tell him what they actually said*:

--

“*accepts the kiss, bringing him closer with an arm wrapped around his waist* *once they release the kiss after a moment, he leans back against the couch cushions, taking another sip from his tea as he gives L a warm smile* Maybe one day.”

 :*looks to Near with a curious, but annoyed frown* Aren’t you in the exact same position? You’re powerful, and you’re in a relationship.:

--

:But we aren’t like- them. *points to his parent’s still not wanting to look at them in case they aren’t done*:

 “*gives Light another grin before he turns over to his son’s conversation, amused* Near is different in many ways, but the same as every other child when it comes to being embarrassed by his parents. One day you’ll know what it’s like.”

--

:We could be. *leans forward, pressing a kiss against his forehead in defiance, but internally, his own words sound a little bit too realistic, even though he knows if he were ever to be in a relationship, it wouldn’t be so romantic*:

 “*as they talk, he nods in agreement, idly offering L a sip of his (unsweetened) drink, expecting him to deny it* Near’s very normal in a lot of ways, whether he thinks so or not. *an idea comes to him suddenly, which he decides to voice aloud* You know, since we’re leaving tomorrow, maybe we should all do something together before we leave. As a family.”

--

:*nearly flinches away from the overly sweet gesture, not liking it even if he is still pretending with the other, his cheeks growing warm involuntarily* We did do something as a family. We went to lunch.:

 “*raises his hand up to Light’s gesture, of course rejecting the drink, but his attention focuses on the conversation* What kind of activity would we do?”

--

“Maybe... *thinks for a moment, wondering if there’s something that they’d all enjoy* *tilts the cup against his lips, taking a sip as he thinks* ... We could visit a museum. Have you two gone to any?”

 :Few art and science museums, but not many. *leans back against his seat, but secretly, he’s growing annoyed he’s going to have to keep this façade up for an entire day*:

--

:*seems to sense Mello’s agitation, so he easily thinks of something to use as an excuse* Mihael has a busy workload tomorrow. His next transcript is due, and we can’t take him away from work.:

 “Hm, that’s unfortunate, but we understand. *doesn’t harbor any bad feelings, knowing how it can be with time-sensitive work* Surely we’ll have to plan something for our next visit.”

--

“*nods in agreement, taking the final sip of his tea before setting it down with a small clank* Maybe next time we can plan to stay longer - At least a week, maybe. We’ll have to see how our schedules work.”

 :*grateful for Near’s intervention, to which he relaxes, already growing tired of this, but considering these are Near’s parents, he’s a little lenient* Yeah, maybe for - Christmas, whatever is you celebrate.:

--

“None of us are religious, but we’ve always celebrated for Near’s sake. *likes the idea of spending a holiday with Near, as he’s insisted to not for several years now* Christmas it is.”

 :*as everyone makes plans around him, he can’t help but frown, it once again reminding him of how the situation will vary much different from what they’re seeing now* ... *squeezes Mello’s hand without thinking, it subconsciously giving him strength* Father, Mother, I’m sure you’re tired from traveling. Would you prefer to stay here or do you have somewhere else?:

--

“Well, we were planning on staying at the hotel a few blocks down, but if you wouldn’t mind us staying here, I think it’d be a nice way to spend a little bit of time together before we go.”

 :*wonders over the small action of Near’s hand, but he doesn’t comment on it, figuring it’s subconscious* *looks towards him, speaking to him, figuring he has no reason to go against the idea* .. You have million rooms here.:

--

:Of course. *feels at ease with Mello guiding with him in the conversation, growing more secure* You’ve stayed before, feel free to take whatever area you’d like.:

 “*seems to sense the vibe coming from Near, and instantly he nudges the one beside him, starting to get out* Let’s go and settle ourselves in, Light. We can come back after we’re finished and perhaps think over what to have for dinner.”

--

“Right - I wouldn’t mind cooking for dinner, also. *stands up, offering a hand for L to use to get up, looking over towards Near* We’ll stay in the same room as last time, so you know where to find us.”

 :*as they begin to stand, he starts to feel relieved* .. *looks towards Near, a sudden question in mind, and he mumbles just loud enough for him to hear* .. I’m assuming not same room as mine.:

--

:*shakes his head, responding back* They normally stay on the floor below mine. *goes back to his parents, offering them a small wave* Take your take, we’ll see you when you return.:

 “*gives them a nod, examining the two with interest before opening the front door* Behave while we’re away, you two. *leaves without another word, pulling Light along with him*”

 :*rolls his eyes at his mother’s comment, but lets out a small sigh of relief, this entire day being a difficult endeavour* -- Are you regretting your attempt at revenge yet?:

--

:It’s - surprisingly annoying. *pulls at the top few buttons of his collar, opening at least three before he feels like he can breath, before grabbing the hem of the sweater over top and pulling it over his head, throwing it carelessly to the side* How do people stand to wear this shit? It’s constricting. *runs a hand through his hair, messing up the perfectly in place strands*:

 ((r u sure it’s constricting))

--

:I wear a button-up shirt nearly every day, I don't find it constricting in the slightest. *casually adds as the other removes the uncomfortable clothes, his eyes leisurely following down to his chest* Though, this outfit did look particularly nice on your figure.:

--

:And my others don't? *arches an eyebrow, obviously offended by the comment* *with sudden decision, he kicks off his shoes, glad to be rid of the uncomfortable, yet to be broken in shoes*:

--

:Well, I also think the leather fits you, but this gives you a different look entirely. It makes you seem- bigger, while the leather makes you seem more tough. *reaches out to skim the cloth covering his torso, marveling in its softness* - both are appealing.:

--

:*at the touch, he's surprised, but he supposes it's just another example of Near’s oddity and how he can do something socially unacceptable without realizing it* ... *manages to speak, after a moment* .. Well, good, because I don't plan to change.:

--

:*retracts his hand after a moment more, having his fill without any reason* I would never ask for such. I like Mello the way he is- subtracting some of the attitude, of course.:

--

:*watches as Near pulls away, wondering what caused the sudden movement* *frowns at what he says, though he doesn't deny it, knowing his attitude is especially evident around Near - but he figures it's his fault anyway* Well, I’ll change when you do.:

--

:*his eyebrow goes up, wondering what he could mean by something like that, as he’s never had an attitude with the other* Would you have me act like a loving spouse? Would you be not as angry then?:

--

:Maybe. Depends on what that includes. *as a final attempt of comfort, he kicks his feet up and on the coffee table in front of them, making sure to avoid hitting the leftover pastries and tea* *relaxes, content now that he’s had his fun with messing up Near’s plans for the day, even if it ended somewhat badly, but also glad it’s (mostly) over with*:

--

:*looks over at him, seeing how relaxed he is, a little perturbed that he’s so satisfied with himself* .. *a small idea forms in his mind, and he decides he can manage to go out of his comfort zone to get his own revenge* *without any warning he creeps up on him, swinging his leg over and effecting straddling the other, eyes direct on his* *his voice comes out soft, but it has emotional unlike his normal apathy* Ты такой замечательный муж, то почти сводит меня с ума..:

 (‘You’re such a wonderful husband, it almost drives me mad.’)

--

:*having closed his eyes to relax just a moment prior, they suddenly shoot open the moment he feels Near shift, him closing in happening before he can even process it* *once he realizes he’s effectively trapped, he doesn’t attempt to immediately shove him off despite being capable of doing so, feeling frozen in place as he speaks, the words sending a hot, twisting feeling straight to his gut* *not one to be outdone, he counters back, voice thick with challenge* Ой? Что тебе так обо мне нравится?:

 (‘Oh? What do you like so much abnout me then?’)

--

:*knew Mello wouldn’t immediately curb at that, so he’s prepared to play along, reaching forward to gently curl a strand of his hair around his finger* А что нет? Каждый раз, когда я смотрю на тебя, я таю. *mumbles, resting his free hand against his shoulder* Ты такой сильный..:

 (‘What doesn’t? When I look at you I want to melt.’ ‘You’re so superior..’)

 ((Gotta get that that inferior complex))

--

((U right))

 :*his last statement strikes a chord in him, fingers twisting into a half-closed grip against both his calves resting on either side of him* … *wonders for a moment what he’s getting at by doing this, but strangely, the mystery of it makes the situation even more enticing, deciding to continue playing along* Итак, значит ли это, что теперь ты хочешь быть моей маленькой домохозяйкой, Золотце?:

 (‘So, does this mean you’re willing to be my little housewife, my dear?’)

 ((The Золотце part is basically the equivalent of ‘my dear’ in english and ‘mon cheri’ in french btw))

 ((Btw I really wanna do a high school light and l au, we could give them their own outfits and everything))

--

:Домохозяйка? Это то, что вы хотите? *quietly responds, genuinely curious if Mello truly wants something like that or if he’s trying to make this difficult for him* *leans down a little, his hand drifting down to his chest* Я мог бы, если вы позаботитесь обо мне.:

 (‘Housewife? Is that what you want?’ ‘I could, as long as you take care of me.’)

--

--

:*unable to restrain himself, his head swimming, he leans forward, pressing a kiss to his jawline, before offering a single sharp nip just beneath* Hm.. Хорошо. По рукам.:

 (‘Hm.. Alright. Deal.’)

 ((Хорошо is the “Korosho” Eli always says, I think xD))

--

:--! *flinches at the sudden bite, reflexes telling him to move away, but he stays only to be pleasantly rewarded by a warm sensation creeping down his neck* Грязный трюк.. *looks at him with distracted eyes, the hand twirling that strand of hair now going full against his scalp, barely scraping against it* Мудак.:

 (‘Dirty Trick.. Asshole.’)

--

:*the vulgar language catches him off guard, and part of him wonders where he learned it from, but mostly, he’s too distracted to care* *a soft groan escapes him at the touch to his hair, surprising even himself, and he focuses on moving his hands up his sides, digging his fingers into his waist, subconsciously pulling him closer* .. Сделай это снова.:

 (‘.. Says you.’)

--

:*his breath quickly catches as he feels the nails pull him in like a hook, his fingers twitch, and all he can think to do is pull harder, liking the reaction before* --? *but as he moves against him, he can’t ignore the ‘growth’ he feels underneath, to which he can't help but feel satisfied* Hm. *without any warning he starts to removes himself from Mello’s lap, fully intending on leaving him to suffer*:

--

:-? *as soon as he feels the other’s disappearing body heat, he grows confused, rational long gone as he doesn't bother to contemplate his next move, using his hands against his waist to impulsively jerk him back into place, flush against his body* Кусок дерьма - *the words barely make it out of his mouth before he forces their lips together, kissing him hard and without thought*:

 (‘Little shit -’)

 ((We should include a matt scene again, pick up that subplot again))

--

:--? *just as he think he’s gotten his victory, he’s caught off guard as he’s suddenly pulled back against Mello’s body* *doesn’t have time to think before his lips meet with the other’s, his eyes closing out of response* Gn-- *despite the surprise, he can’t ignore how good it feels almost immediately, and having some experience now, he’s able to get into the flow before he grows frustrated by its heaviness* *pulls away quickly, looking down at him, flustered* -- don’t be so rough so quickly. I- don't like it:

--

:*frowns as he pulls away, immediately attempting to tug him closer before he speaks, and he pauses once he understands* - *grows somewhat embarrassed amongst his otherwise deluded feelings, subconsciously keeping him in place, twisting his fingers in the cloth of his shirt* You started it. You asked me to satisfy you.:

--

:*looks at him with a small hint of amusement, not able to stay angry at him as he notices the embarrassment on his face* If you want to satisfy me, then- Be more gentle. *speaks softly as he closes in, hand creeping to the back of his head to keep him interested* .. Тогда вы можете стать все труднее.:

 (‘.. Then you can get rough.’)

--

:And .. how do you know what you want? *his voice doesn't come out as intimidating as he’d like, much more distracted by the touch to his hair and sound of his voice, and he idly realizes it seems to take hardly anything to rile him up, a fact that settles strangely in his mind* Вот?:

 (‘Here?’)

_

:*intrigued by Mello’s somewhat passive responses, but he’s caught off guard by the question, contemplating it’s meaning* *grows a little more quiet, shrugging his shoulders* It’s- only kissing, and it’s my home. I can do what I want when I want.:

--

:Are you - what do you call it - exhibitionist? *smirks, but he doesn't bother waiting for an explanation, instead drawing him into a kiss, this time making an effort to be more gentle, but the feeling is strange, almost overwhelming* ..:

 ((He's not really using the term correctly xD))

--

:*rolls his eyes even into the kiss, but Mello’s lack of understanding English isn’t nearly as amusing as the kiss easily begins to affect it, it something unlike he’s felt before* *moves closer to him, idly grazing his fingertips against his chest, wanting to feel him as much as possible* Mm..:

--

:*refrains from digging his fingers into his sides again, settling at tracing them along his thighs, lightly* *leans into the kiss, beginning to feel dizzy as he carefully, slowly deepens it, the action oddly intimate* ...:

--

:*easily manages to progress along with him, his attention solely on the other and how the kiss feels, it sending pleasant shivers down his spine* Nn.. *can’t think about how any bad implications could come from this, fully immersed with his hands gently roaming to explore whatever they come across*:

--

:*the kiss is surprisingly pleasant, somehow making the promise of what’s to come even more anticipating, even if it is just this, but he feels content, despite having trouble keeping his touch soft* *once again, he feels the urge to grow rougher, for a moment pressing harder into it, one hand digging into the side of his hips, but it only lasts a moment before he remembers what they agreed on*..:

 ((so r we gon do ur idea))

--

:-! *at the sudden grip his flinches his hips, but the pain easily morphs into pleasure, it spurring on a sudden sense of eagerness to the kiss, moving closer to Mello with fingers digging in his shoulders* ..:

 “*doesn’t bother knocking, quickly allowing himself in as he continues speaking to Light behind him* I think he’ll approve of that. You still enjoy gyudon don’t you, Ne-- *looks in front of him to see Mello and Near on the couch in a- compromising position* ?”

 :-?! *didn’t even notice the door opening, it being too late to separate before he already hears L’s voice* *rapidly pulls himself away from Mello, his breath still heavy as he looks at them with wide eyes* Mother-!:

 “*his brows raises, a grin on his face* .. Perhaps you’d prefer Russian cuisine.”

--

:*grows confused the moment Near rapidly pulls away from him, attempting to grasp him again, but he stills the instant he realizes exactly why he moved in the first place, seeing both Light and L in the doorway*:

 “*upon seeing the two on the couch, shock freezing him in place, not ever having expected to see this from his son, even if he knows it’s only expected* *figures he’s feeling this way only because he’s his father, but even so, it wasn’t what he was expecting to see upon first walking in, and it’s even more incriminating considering Mello seems somewhat undressed* - Nate?”

 : - *starts to button his shirt back up, realizing how it may look, but he realizes the overall amusement of this situation, having cost Near so much embarrassment* *turns to Near, speaking to him* See, Near? I told you we should have waited.:

--

:Mihael. *practically grits his name through his teeth, and if he were any other person he would be tempted to hit him, but for now he settles for quickly removing himself from the other’s lap* -- I’m sorry, Father. We didn’t expect you back so quickly.:

 “Now now, don’t be such a prude, Light. *says with amusement, having more fun with Light’s reaction than anything* They’re married after all, and you can’t say we weren’t doing the exact same thing.”

 :*eyes widen, completely in awe at his mother’s lenience- and disgusting conversation* Are you punishing me?:

--

“You’re right. I’m sorry. *offers the apology with a smile, but it doesn’t sound entirely genuine* Anyway, this is where you live.”

 :*reaches over to take hold of Near’s hand once more, squeezing him gently, mumbling quietly for him to hear* Seems you can’t control yourself, Домохозяйка.:

 “*not having heard them, instead deciding to continue the conversation they initially meant to have, figuring it’s the easiest way to diffuse any tension* So, Nate - gyudon? What do you two think?”

 (‘Housewife.’)

--

:*gives Mello another mean look, though his face does get red at such a comment* *moves away easily, focusing on his father, giving him a small nod* That’s fine- as long as you and mother stay five feet apart.:

 “*smiles, taking his own seat on the loveseat across from Mello, just like they were a short while ago* No promises.”

--

“*sits next to L, moving an arm around his shoulders and effectively already going against Near’s wishes* Mihael? Have you ever tried it?”

 :*looks towards Light once he speaks directly to him, having been distracted by the subtle redness of Near’s face* - No, I haven’t. But I’m not very picky.:

--

:*looks at his parents grimly, annoyed that they won’t listen to him, but he guess that’s their own revenge, so he keeps quiet* - I’ll help you if you get up now, father.:

 “Oh, what a charming negotiation. *muses to Light, getting intentionally close to his face just to tease their son* You may want to take that offer before it never happens again.”

 (those parents)

--

“*leans in to press a kiss to his lips, letting it last a moment before finally retracting himself, offering L a gentle look before standing up, gesturing for Near to follow him* Alright, let’s go. It’s been a while since you’ve cooked with me.”

 :You’ve actually cooked before? *doesn’t actually want to get up, deciding he’d rather wait until they leave so he can finally - take care of other matters* Without burning the place down?:

 ((y dont i just @me next time))

--

:*rolls his eyes at his parents, crossing his arms at their overly-affectionate display, but thankfully he’s distracted by Mello’s question* I don’t go near the stove, I just help him with the minor things for the sake of ‘bonding’.:

 “*smiling softly at the warm kiss, easily letting him move away for him and his son to have their time together* *decides to lock eyes on Mello, deciding he needs a little discipline as well* I think Mello and I will sit here and have a conversation while you two make dinner. We need bonding time as well.”

 ((haha mello has to suffer through a boner))

--

((lol))

 :*his eyes dart towards L once he addresses him, wondering what the hell he’s planning* - Sure, that’s fine with me. *forces out in the nicest manner possible*:

 “You sure? *asks out of habit, before heading towards the door* Alright, well, we’ll be in the kitchen. C’mon, Nate.”

--

**

--

:*after a long afternoon and an admittedly pleasant dinner, his parents returned to their temporary home and he ended up showered and exchanged in a new set of pajamas, lazily drying his hair with a towel on the edge of his bed* *glances over at his bathroom, somewhat hesitant to speak up* -- There’s no reason to sleep in the same bedroom, they’re on an entirely different floor:

--

:*after having finally washed the sticky hairspray from his hair that’s kept it in place all day, he dries his head swiftly with a towel before tossing it on the sink’s counter* I’m using your shower, not sleeping in your bed. *adjusts the robe covering his body and lazily tied around his waist, deciding he’s finally finished, and so he exits the room, combing his hands through his hair* Not that you’ve ever minded.:

--

:*glances at him twice before he realizes what he’s wearing, his eyes wander for a moment before he suddenly turns away, pretending to be distracted with his hair* Maybe we should. *mumbles, before adding quickly* -just in case they came here in the middle of the night. They’re known to do that.:

--

:- Really? *believes him, surprised for a moment before he realizes it does sound like something his parents would do, after getting to know them throughout the day* That’s fucking weird. *mumbles offhandedly, moving to the small table where his phone is sitting, checking the messages and seeing he has quite a few from Matt talking about his latest date, and he begins to type a response, distracted from the conversation* .. Or are you just finding excuse to sleep with me?:

 ((he means that like literally sleeping))

--

((yes I know haley))

 :I am not. *speaks in a serious tone, tossing the towel on the floor after he’s done with it* Don’t act as if you’re not jumping at the opportunity to stay in here without the usual excuse at two in the morning.:

--

:*the sudden comment hits a little too close to home, and he can only look towards him with a mixture of irritation and bewilderment that he can be so direct* ... Fuck off. *drops his phone, allowing it fall onto the table without care, a bad mood developing* Don’t act like you don’t look forward to it.:

--

:*doesn’t have to look at Mello to understand he’s set him off, wondering when he became so in tune with the other’s emotions, but he quickly ignores that, appeasing him instead* I do look forward to it. *simultaneously patting the other side of the bed as he comments playfully* You’re rather thin for your height, but you’re still warm.:

--

:*rolls his eyes, not wanting to sit down out of spite, but he doesn’t feel like standing any longer* You’re lucky I’m tired. *sits on the mattress, kicking the comforters away as he leans back against the pillows* Is that all I’m good for? Heat?:

--

:And the occasional conversation. *repeats the same process Mello does, bringing his feet up to his chest for added comfort* What’s wrong with enjoying the company of my husband for one more night?:

--

:Nothing, I guess. *responds casually, crossing his arms behind his head to rest against* You could just hire someone to do this for you, since I’m not here every night. And you seem so obviously desperate for - what, warmth? Conversation? *glances towards him, the hint of a smile on his face*:

--

:Hmph. *doesn’t respond beyond a small huff at first, defiantly shaking his head* It took me weeks to be able to comfortably have you in my room for more than a minute, much less lay in my bed. It’s too much of a hassle to train another spouse.:

--

:I feel honored. *responds sarcastically, then decides to continue once he realizes what he said* - I’m not trained. You haven't taught me how to do shit.:

--

:*”looks at him, but not before he rolls his eyes* You are too sensitive. I never said anything about training you. After the first night, you understood things. *adds quietly, a little reluctant to add this* .. I meant so that I would like them.:

--

:I haven't done anything intentionally to please you. *says simply, it being true - despite the instances he remembers being patient, such as letting him go at his own pace when they were traveling to tourist destinations* .. You seem like you’re uncaring anyway.:

--

:I do care about some things. *defiantly mumbles, not like the assumption, even if he does act that way quite often* I cared enough to go in public with you. I allowed you your privacy by taking the tracker off your phone. *lays his head against his hand to relax* I even tried to cook for you, remember?:

--

:And how did that turn out? *chuckles, recalling the incident, the food having somehow been both undercooked and burnt* Maybe you’re not a good housewife.:

--

:*looks at him as if that’s an obvious statement, flicking him on his shoulder* The point is, I tried many new things to make your stay here pleasant. Things I wouldn’t do with just anyone.:

--

:.. I never said I didn't appreciate it. *mumbles, fidgeting for a moment before distracting himself by grabbing a book he left here a few nights before, opening it to where he left off, worried over the direction of this conversation* .. So? This makes us friends, then?:

--

:*the question strikes him as strange, to which he doesn't have an answer for at first, only offering a small shrug* *plays with his hair idly as he watches him read* Do friends kiss like we do? And sleep together?:

 (He’s genuinely asking if that's a thing)

--

:*is about to respond ‘no’, but he realizes that it is actually something that occurs* .. Sometimes. Not usually. *keeps the answer simple after realizing Near is likely genuinely asking the question, keeping his eyes on the book in front of him* .. We’ve only kissed twice anyway.:

--

:I suppose you’re right. *takes his word to heart, thinking maybe it truly is something just between friends, to which he suddenly feels conflicted in his feelings* Then we’re friends.:

--

:... Is there something wrong with that? *looks towards him, wondering what's going through his mind, momentarily forgetting about his book*:

--

:No. *responds simply, trying to ignore the confusion he has for their new label* *lays himself down on the pillow again, closing his eyes to relax* I’m happy you want to be my friend.:

--

:*the sentimentality is too much, heat rising to his face out of embarrassment, but he hopes the other doesn't notice his discomfort over the foreign situation, mulling the label over as well* ... Well, it's unavoidable, right?:

--

:Technically not. *peeks an eye open, ignorant to the blush on Mello’s face, lucky for him* Things could have been very different for us. You could have left, we could have never spoken and been parted after a month without a second thought.:

--

:... *turns the page, realizing he's right, though he didn't expect him to voice it aloud and so directly* .. Should I?:

--

:-? *becomes more alert now, almost concerned that was what he wanted to hear the entire time* .. *swallows softly, remaining as passive as possible* Do you want to?:

--

: ... *doesn’t answer at first, his initial gut answer unsettling, as he's never been in a situation before where he couldn't easily leave due to emotions* .. *sighs heavily, setting the book face down in his lap* ... Come here.:

--

:... *doesn’t respond to him initially, but slowly he considers it, scooting his body over to get closer to his side, still keeping his hands close to his chest* Is this your way of telling me goodbye? I know you aren’t one for words.:

--

:*as he comes closer, he brings an arm around his shoulders and drawing him against him* ... *remains silent for the moment, weighing the options heavily* .. No. You’d know if I was leaving.:

--

:*the decline does take him by surprise, but he doesn’t anticipate anything from the other, only deciding to enjoy whatever this is while it lasts* - Will you tell me what happened to you in Russia? I’ve gone through many possibilities, but can’t pinpoint why you would leave the mafia, or why they’re searching for you.:

--

[ohfortheloveofsinbad]

A Dark Past Comes Crawling Back 1

There’s so much blood. It’s all over the floor, all over the walls, the bed, the small, shivering boy with pale silver hair, and the knife he holds in his heavily shaking hands. He stares with terrified eyes at the lifeless figure on the ground before him, whose wounds are pouring out endless steams of blood. The bright flood of red stains the wooden floors and soaks into a dirty, old rug that lie nearby. A broken bottle filled with strong alcohol omits a strong, stinging smell in the dead man’s still warm hand.

The blood wouldn’t stop spreading, and with each moment spent in that suffocating, dingy room, it only seemed to pour out more and more, until the boy was wading in the thick, hot substance up to his mid-calf.

He tried to scream, but his voice wouldn’t come out. He tried to move, but his muscles wouldn’t obey him. He was stuck, unable to do anything but shiver in his place as the blood rose higher and higher.

All too soon, the blood reached his torso, then his collar. He couldn’t help but shudder as the disgusting liquid creeped up his neck, then covered his mouth, which he kept shut tightly so that he wouldn’t swallow any. He cast a pleading last glance to the door as the blood covered his nose. Tears dripped from his eyes until his vision became blurry, and the last thing he remembered seeing was a haze of red and black.

Another boy, a bit older, yet no older than eight, with a head of messy white hair and shocking, snake-like green eyes runs out of a house in the dead of night with a large black bag slung over his shoulder. He quickly jumps into the passenger’s seat of a large jeep, and his accomplice changes gears and squeals out of the driveway at a high speed. Three are dead inside that house: a man, a woman, a small girl who was no older than five years old, yet the boy feels no remorse; he got what he came for.

Time seems to flash forward. The boy is in every quick scene, always holding some sort of weapon, always fighting, drinking, smoking, or fleeing. By the time the quick scenes end, he is no older than twelve, a young boy who has seen, done, and heard more than anyone ever should in a lifetime.

All he knows that he is exhausted. He’s weary of life and the hardships he faces, and all he wants to do is escape. It doesn’t matter to him that he is the most feared person in the state of California, possibly the most feared person in all of America. He’s tired. He doesn’t want this struggle anymore. No one cares to understand his feelings, nor does he care to explain them to anyone. He suffers alone and in silence. He wants a way out.

He finds himself in a parking lot outside of a rundown motel. A glance back shows nothing but a single, sleek, black car in a parking space.

Every last piece of cloth that had once been on his body has been ripped off and discarded. The boy finds himself in a lumpy bed with a fat, naked man who is smoking a cigarette. One look at him brings feelings of emptiness and fear into the young male’s heart.

The fat man drifts off to sleep in no time at all, but the boy lies awake, angry and hurt. He contemplates killing this person, but he has no weapons. They were stripped from him just before he entered that cursed black vehicle. His damn “comrades” had sold him off in hopes of settling a debt with a rival gang.

He slips out of bed and weakly pulls on his tattered, ruined clothes. He steals the man’s wallet, then quietly limps out of the room. He escapes the crusty motel and hides in an alleyway, where he collapses onto a mat of filthy, rotting cardboard and blacks out in mere moments.

The boy has not grown, but time has definitely passed when he awakens once again. His eyes feel as though they’ve sunken into his skull. He’s covered in cuts, bruises, and sores. He has multiple infections, and suffers from several diseases. The money he stole has run out, he can’t buy any medicine, he hasn’t had food in days. He’s starving. He’s dying. No matter how much he cries and calls for help, no one listens or looks, and if someone does, they quickly walk away, an expression of disgust on their face.

More time passes, and he feels as though he is on the verge of death. His body is deathly thin, and moving is something near impossible. He croaks out a small, final cry for help, unsure if it would be heard over the pouring rain.

His vision blurs. All that was left of his energy had vanished with that tiny cry. Blackness gnaws at the edges of his sight like a hungry animal. He knows he’s going to die there, a pathetic whelp of a human being.

The storm begins to grow more powerful. Freezing wind wracks his already icy body with heavy force. He lays in a dirty puddle. He’s so thin and filthy that he’s hardly even recognizable as a human being anymore.

The darkness takes over his vision just as he hears footsteps making their way toward him.

-

Ja’far’s head shot up off of his pillow. His first few waking moments were spent gasping for air, however warm and stale it was in his dark bedroom, as he tried to calm himself down. His blankets rested in a twisted knot at his feet, indicating just how restless his slumber had been.

The groggy man dragged a clammy hand down his face with a shaky sigh. An expression of utter disgust contorted his features upon the realization that he had been sweating profusely as he slept. A quick inspection with the back of his hand revealed that his pillowcase and covers were absolutely drenched. Ugh.

It had only been a nightmare, but those always managed to hit Ja’far hard. Only this time Sinbad wasn’t there to comfort him and calm him down like when they were children. It was discomforting to think that he had to suffer alone, just as he used to before his friend had come along, but he was a grown man now. He couldn’t crawl into another grown man’s bed for comfort. It was unbecoming.

Ja’far curled into himself on his small, yet comfortable bed. He clutched his head in his hands as he tried again to calm himself down. He told himself over and over that the past was the past; that no one can hurt him anymore. The awful dream had ended just before a good moment, when Sinbad had heard his cry and saved him from that alley. Sinbad had shown him how much better life could be. That’s right, life was better. Life was so much better. His hardships were over, and he had no need to worry about his past anymore. Sinbad had assured him of that.

It took a while, but Ja’far managed to calm himself down. He grumbled angrily to himself when he realized he wouldn’t be able to sleep anymore for that night. His body never allowed him to settle down and rest after he had woken up. His legs were already twitching with energy, likely from the adrenaline that pumped through his system, and he knew that he had to get up and start his day before he got restless.

He turned to his other side with a groan and squinted his unadjusted eyes to save himself from the blinding light of his electric clock as he checked the time. It was five-thirty in the morning.

Well, at least it wasn’t as dreadfully early as Ja’far had despaired it would be.

He didn’t have to go to work until eight. Sinbad would be upset if he came in too early again, though. The man was his boss, but his disappointment was never a matter of working overtime. Instead, he was always concerned that Ja’far spent too much of his life at work.

Ja’far figured that perhaps if he offered a better explanation than “I couldn’t sleep,” Sinbad would let him off easy and not force him to take vacation time again.

With a grunt, Ja’far forced himself to sit upright. He stretched his stiff limbs and twisted his torso from side to side, enjoying the satisfying pops each movement brought from his sore joints. He had a lot in store for the day. More than usual, anyway.

He tried to fix a schedule in his mind. Work was at eight. After sticking his sheets and clothes in the washer, taking a shower, eating breakfast, watching the news, and then sticking his laundry into the dryer, it would probably be around six-thirty, then around six-forty-five when he finally got to work. Then, if he maybe just loitered around in his car for a while longer, he could go in and only be an hour early.

That was that, but he’d take his time, just in case his calculations were off. The later he went in, the less cross Sinbad would be with him, Ja’far figured.

With a schedule set in mind, Ja’far turned his body to the side and placed his clammy feet on the cold floor as he turned on his bedside light. It was going to be a long day.