#my favourite fruity old man

[fancysilverfox]

Have a funky little Hosea sketch while I search for my will to live at work today ✨️

Also congrats to me for my first Hosea Fucks Friday post mwah

[saintspock]

"spock is allowed to fall in love with women" have you considered he's not. have you considered that. there's someone you forgot to ask - me.

[evillama666]

“Headcannons”

“Headcannons”

Karl Heisenberg

I started playing re8. It only took me three years to get the game but it only cost twenty bucks! I want to write a fanfic for Heisenberg but I hurt my wrist and can't write so I've just been jotting down headcannons in my free time before I forget them. I have a lot of them so is this going to be messy and unorganized? Yes

Tags: Randomness... There's no specific theme to these, some x reader stuff, contains some NSFW topics. He's a perv after all

Word count: 2445

Look at his cheeks! I just wanna squish 'em!

꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…

First off, in my own little world Ethan does join Karl but not until after he goes through his entire factory and sees how truly strong he is. He's just like "Man fuck this! I don't want to do this shit again." Killing another Lord, I mean. So he joins Heisenberg under one condition: no using Rose. And Heisenberg reluctantly agrees. Also Heisenberg knows how to put her back together so it's a good idea to keep him alive. And let's be real, there's no way he's going to be able to use her powers. She's fucking six months old. What is he going to do? Fucking throw her at Miranda? If Ethan was able to kill her by himself it'd be a lot easier with Karl to help without even using Rose.

Also when the 'curse' is lifted from the village and everyone is set free, the other Lords are able to come back because of their little crystal forms Duke collected. Rose was put in that crystal form so I think that they'd be able to come back because of that. That way everyone can have their favourite characters back :)

Anyway, now that I've got that out of my system, headcannon time!

This first one is actually my Papa's, he's watching me play since he didn't watch the gameplay when it came out. Also he loves that Heisenberg calls Ethan 'Papa'. I think you can piece that one together...

He totally sees Heisenberg as being that 'weird' uncle. I showed him some fanart where Karl is like that and he loved it.

Heisenberg is the kinda guy to let kids try a sip of his alcohol, ask them if they want to smoke, just plain being chaotic, and anything else that just pisses of their parents. Mostly Ethan and Alcina. He's has a love hate relationship with Alcina's daughters. He acts like he hates them, and sometimes he truly does, but he secretly likes them. He just hates their mother.

He stayed in the village after Miranda died. Sure, he hates the 'family', but he wants to learn all the secrets of the village. That's actually based off one of the files I read.

He's a history nerd. He was sheltered from the outside world so he knows nothing but give him the internet and a few highschool textbooks and he learned everything in like a week. He finds everything so interesting. He particularly liked the industrial era.

And modern technology... Oh he loves that. It took him a while to understand the internet. He loves how horny it is. It didn't take him that long to actually learn how to use a phone though. He's a fast learner. However he loves taking them apart so you had to find him a bunch of old ones so he'd stop taking apart his... and yours.

He loves Wallmart. You took him there. He liked specifically the kitchen aisle because he made all the pans float. But when you took him to Home Depot? He had a fucking field day. You two ended up staying there until it closed...

He had to ask who the hell 'Magneto' was because people keep comparing them. Especially that kid that saw him making the pans float in Walmart. That's when he fell in love with the X-Men comics. And got even more excited when you told him there were movies. He may or may not have tried to do experiments based off the comics... He specifically loves Wolverine because 'Hugh Jackman is funny and extremely hot.'

We all know this man is Bi. His voice actor is extremely 'fruity'. There's no way he's straight.

His love language is gift giving! It suits him perfectly. He's always making stuff. He'll make you lots of necklaces out of old gears he doesn't need. He also makes lot's of toys for Rose. (Which all need to be pre-approved by Ethan) He likes to make you jewelry but he'll also make you little inventions. Anything that'll make your life easier.

Oh, you complained about somethin? He's making an invention for that. You were pissed when he took apart your coffee maker but he ended up making a new one that brews the perfect cup everytime. If you ask him for anything, he'll make it for you.

His factory doesn't actually have a kitchen. He just stores all his kitchen appliances in a random room. Also, you have to constantly remind him to eat. You don't allow him to use his excuse "But I'm a Lord. I can go days without eating!"

He only showers once a month... Why would he bathe so often if he's just going to get filthy again?

This man doesn't own a bed. Doesn't even have a bedroom. He's used to going days without sleeping so why need one? But he does have an old, brown sunk in couch that he had to repair a lot of times over the years. It looks uncomfortable as hell but it's actually surprisingly comfortable?

He has random arm chairs and other furniture he picked up off the side off the road scattered along his factory. Though, that couch is his favourite. He'll lay on it while you lay on top of his chest because there isn't actually enough room for the both of you.

So he ends up spending the night at your house a lot since you actually have a bed. But when he's there, he's constantly trying to take apart your stuff. He gets scolded a lot.

He loves pets, but can't have any of his own because his factory isn't safe for one and he already doesn't take care of himself. There's no way he'd have time taking care of a pet. He doesn't want to put the poor thing through that. He's more of a dog person, obviously, but he does like cats. Especially scruffy ones that kinda looks like a small dog. So if you have a pet, he's coming over a lot.

He doesn't like dates. He'd rather you hang out in his factory, or he'll go to your place and have dinner. He does like walks though. Around the village, a park, the beach. But it's at the beach, he's using his powers to find whatever washed up metal. He's actually found some pretty cool stuff. No need to buy one of those expensive ass metal detectors he's like a personal one.

If you fall asleep when you're at his factory, he'll take his coat off and lay it on you. Trenchcoats were originally used as blankets in world war two. You can be doing your own little thing when you're hanging out with him in his factory. He just likes you're company. He's fine with parallel play. He usually stops whatever he's working on when you fall asleep, realizing he should probably call it a night.

This man is touched starved! He loves cuddles! He loves cuddling with you after a long day in the factory. His hair is a weak spot. He loves when it's played with. He's too busy to ever cut it, and he likes it long. Once and a while he'll trim it, a long with cleaning up his beard. He loves when you cup his cheeks in your hands and mess with his beard.

Give this man a beard oil kit and he'll actually take care of his appearance. It's a good gift for him.

He was reluctant to let you braid it but caved in. Now he always lets you play with it whenever. He also loves it being pulled on. Another reason he likes it long.

This man is extremely kinky. He's basically into whatever and will always agree to try whatever you suggest. However he will always respect your boundaries if you don't like something. He might push a little, ask 'are you sure?' but he'll ultimately drop the idea. You can bring it back up again when you feel comfortable though. He's into bdsm. He really likes tying you up. More specifically, using whatever metal is around to bind your wrists.

He makes sex toys. A lot of sex toys. Sometimes it gets boring in the factory and it wasn't like he was ever seeing anyone. His toys are... uh... rather intense. He can handle it being rough.

He's created whole ass machines just for sex. I told you this man is freaky. He can pound that shit for hours. His powers let him go on for a while... That couch along fleshlight he altered has been through a lot...

If he makes a toy for you, he'll cator it to something you like. It's never as rough as his personal toys. He'll make you something like a vibrator that can run for days without dying, and has many more settings than the average one.

He'll steal Alcina's fancy ass candles for wax play. She'll be walking around in her castle and notice one of her candles are missing. She doesn't actually know the real reason Karl steals them. She thinks he's just making her life difficult.

Another way he makes her life difficult is by moving shit, walking through her caste with his muddy boots, eyeing up her maids, and just lingering around until she yells at her.

He definitely likes pulling pranks.

He likes video games. He loves Mortal Kombat. He likes beating the Dimitrescu sisters asses. They get so pissy. But it's nice bonding time with their uncle. It's one of the few times he'll agree to hang out with them. He's memorized all the moves and combos so there's no beating him. Aaron Black is his favourite.

He'll also play Stardew Valley with you even though he hates it. He does the caves for you so you don't die. His little character looks just like him. He doesn't get why you play this game when you can just go in the village and actually farm.

He loves motorcycles! He made a whole custom one from scratch! He's been to a couple queer biker bars a few times.

He looks like a hobo, so people assume he's homeless and give him a few dollars. Especially when he goes to Walmart. The first time he had to ask you why a lady gave him dollar. He was offended when told him 'She probably thought you were homeless' but he couldn't really argue...

He likes metal music. No pun intended. He's even got a couple spiked bracelets. He thinks metal music is nice to work to in his factory. Rob Zombie is his favourite. My Papá agrees with this one!

He'll also listen to Old Mans Poison. Specifically their song "Feed the Machine". I love that song so much and it suits Heisenberg. He'll also listen to German heavy metal.

Any alt people and metalheads need to be careful around him, because if you're wearing a lot of metal, and he activates his powers, you'll be dragged across the room. He usually doesn't mean it but sometimes he'll use that against you just to tease you. If you're wearing any necklaces in general, be careful around him because he will accidentally choke you and won't feel any remorse about it. He'll actually laugh.

He'll attach metal to non-metal objects so he can make them float around. He can control blood. It contains iron in it. I think that's how he's so successful with his soldat.

If someone pissed him off, he'll just kill them with a blood clot. :)

But he also uses that power to patch up Ethan.

He has a lot of self harm scars on his arms. The other scars however, are from messing around in his factory and being tested on. He has depression but, will always deny it but, deep down he knows he has it.

He loves steampunk fashion. Most of the necklaces and gifts he makes are steampunk. He loves any steampunk accessories you get him.

There's nothing that suggests how old Heisenberg was when he was experimented on by Miranda. He did come along after Alcina, who was forty-four when she was experienced on. I think he was around ten when he was taken, making his resentment towards Miranda much, much deeper. This is also based off some fanart of him as a kid which I thought was cute.

His one necklace is a little scale. I totally see him just wearing it to fidget with it. Either tugging on it when it's around his neck or using his powers on it. Same thing with the compass. Using his powers to make the needle spin around.

He's neurodivergent in some way.

He'll start like a hundred different projects but never actually finish them. He'll also get hyper fixated on one project and only do that for days on end or do a bunch of projects based off one topic.

Despite never being hugged, Karl gives the best hugs. Sure he's very stiff and has no idea what to do when it comes to comforting people. You'll have to initiate the hug. It'll take him a moment to actually wrap his arms around you and it'll take a few hugs before he feels comfortable hugging you back.

His touch starts off stiff and awkward before gradually relaxing and he'll wrap you up in his trenchcoat so you feel secure.

Honestly I headcannon that with any character that wears a trenchcoat. I actually have a trenchcoat and it's literally perfect to wrap someone up in a hug with it.

Any relationship, whether it's platonic or romantic needs to go slow for him. Lots of baby steps! Why do I like baby steps with characters so much....

Once someone is close with him, he may let them use his first name.

He will talk your ear off about his inventions. Even if you don't understand, he just needs to get it out. But! He will absolutely love it if you ask questions. And if you're very interested he'll simplify everything down for you so you understand.

He'll have you help him on his inventions that don't pose any threats. He's not gonna risk hurting you so he'll just have you hand him tools and such. It's nice having an extra pair of hands around. He'll explain how the invention works. Ask him questions! He likes that. He's never had anyone to talk about his work with.

He likes when you lightly trace over his scars. Like if you're holding his face in your hands and lightly trace over them with your thumbs. Or when you two are cuddling and you trace over the scars on his chest and abdomen.

꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…꩜…

Oki... I think I'm done for now. I can't think of any more. I know I have more though so I might make another one of these.

Now to the part I hate

[striveattemptfail]

a cursed realization: wade and logan are old men. logan especially so.

they MUST have weird old man habits and general body weirdness. and not the endearing shit like preferring to use old school tech, or having a "get off my lawn, my favourite miscreants" kinda attitude, or being unable to keep up in sex, or any of that kinda cute stuff

i mean the unpleasant sweaty old man smell, having walking farts, snoring while awake, their stomachs just making noises for no goddamn reason bc their digestive systems are no longer 30 y/o

all of which they don't even realize they're doing bc they're old and either a) have more pressing things to worry about [at their age]; b) stopped giving a fuck; or c) both of the above

source: i live with two very old men (my dad and uncle). one is a few years away from retirement and the other is already at that age. they are family but they are still gross old men who act like drunk uncles given half the chance

and while neither logan or wade are in their 60s, these habits don't just magically appear once you hit that age. they begin long before that and accumulate over time until the stinky old man package is complete

"but jercy," you say, "they have perfect regeneration!! they can't have any health problems!! they're too self-conscious to be that gross!!"

1: (re: perfect regeneration) that is an even worse argument for wade, who has mega cancer and canonically does not smell pleasant or have a properly functioning body. he'd 100% have old man problems as a symptom of his cancer bc his mutation is physically keeping him in a constant state of dying. everything he does is out of sheer stubbornness and willpower to make a joke out of his life

1b: to play on a popular headcanon: any aromatic, artificial fruity skincare routine he has can easily be used as a reason for him to cover up his old man smell

2: see point B above for logan

2b: see the movie, logan (2017), or the comic, death of wolverine (2014), for the fact that logan can canonically age/die. albeit it's at a vastly slower pace than everyone else, but it means logan WILL eventually have these issues with his body too, if he doesn't have them already

2c: feral/animalistic logan who takes on animal traits would be so much worse bc wolverines are called "skunk bears" for a reason. wolverines (and any wildlife/animal that you can compare logan to) fucking STINK!! they have EVEN GROSSER ANIMAL HABITS!! you just gotta accept it

3: (re: self-consciousness) you got a point there, but once again refer to point B. most folks i know at their age are on their way to or have already stopped caring about what others think of them. and even if wade and logan are somehow the exceptions to this, i'm sure they let loose in private and probably indulge in their grosser habits when they're alone

4: if you want biblically accurate old man yaoi you're gonna have to contend with the fact that it comes with the non-sexy old man problems. i'm sorry i have to break the illusion but this is the reality we must face together

5: suspension of disbelief, friends. do engage with that once in a while lol

in conclusion: i unfortunately have every bit of confidence that wade and logan are not exempt from old man behaviours and bodily functions and i will die whining about it. thanks for coming to my ted talk

[wetbandito]

A work in progress of my modern au fanfic,

Post-It Mortem. I’d like to say thank you to @strugglinggranola for the idea of the title.

This is my first time writing anything as I do lack a lot of confidence due to the terror that is university.

Please let me know if you’d want to read something like this.

Here goes nothing…

To say Rook was knackered was an understatement. For some reason everyone seems to be dropping like flies and The Cross Roads Funeral home had been inundated with the dead over the last few weeks.

Rook had finished with her latest charge, a 39 year old mother of 2 who had sadly passed from cancer. Rook tried not to think too hard about the fact she was only 7 years younger than the late woman whom she had prepared for burial. It was an irony in itself to be surrounded by death and yet unsettled by it but Rook took it in her stride despite it all and got on with her other tasks.

“Right time for a well earned beverage.” Rook said out loud to herself. She often thought out loud and liked to think those she was caring for were listening.

Rook headed over to the fridge and went to get out her precious energy drink, (the one vice she allowed herself) when she noticed there were now two rather than the one she had left the night before. She then realised a post it note had been left on the can she had picked up.

“Good Evening Rook,

My deepest apologies I opened the fridge and your can of drink fell out and exploded all over the place. I replaced it and bought another one as an apology.

With warm regards

Emmrich.”

Rook chuckled to herself that even on something benign as a post it note Emmrich Volkarin was just as polite and proper. She chuckled even more at the image of Emmrich popping to the local corner shop to buy 2 energy drinks like a university student the night before their exams.

Professor Emmrich Volkarin was Rook’s shift partner. That is to say they ran opposite shifts of nights and days. He was a kindly older gentleman who reminded Rook of a Vincent Price or Peter Cushing character. He had taught one of her modules at university when she was studying mortuary science, he was kind and caring of the day and showed obvious passion for an often understated profession.

Some might say that was why Rook applied to the home he was at when she had graduated.

They didn’t get to see each other often as they were akin to ships in the night. The odd time they did see each other was when they were expected to attend staff meetings it usually fell on a day where Rook had completed a night shift so she often looked like the dead she had cared for and was in no shape for conversation.

She admired the man and that was that (she says whilst blushing at the gallantry the man had shown by buying her more drinks).

Rook penned a note and attached it to his favourite mug before heading over to the desk they shared and cracking open her can of fruity goodness. She wondered out loud if Emmrich was judgemental over her choice of beverage and she stopped herself of course not he’s probably the kindest person she’s met although she did feel a sense of embarrassment that she still drank these at her ripe age of 32. It was a habit that started not at university but when she started night shifts.

And that’s a wrap of what I’ve written up to yet, hope you have enjoyed!

[muldermuse]

I have some more. The brain rot is willlld

Boyfriend!Butcher will get a record player and some old records to surprise you and you spend the night dancing together.

Boyfriend!Butcher will go to your family gatherings(if you’re close to your family like that/or it’s just the holidays) he makes some of your distant relatives nervous. But he’s charmed your momma. I have a head cannon of my OC who had a little sister, her and Billy are tight. He looks out for as if he was his own sister.

Boyfriend!Butcher was so nervous about you figuring out what he was doing (if you didn’t know prior to dating/meeting him and the boys.)

Boyfriend!Butcher loves giving you little gifts, nothing expensive. Little trinkets, a chocolate bar from the gas station. He knows your go to food orders off heart.

Let’s take a minute to imagine Butcher going into a Starbucks and ordering some frilly, fruity, fancy drink for you. He gets it right every damn time though.

Boyfriend!Butcher is a fan favourite at your job. He’s charmed the elderly lady that works are the front desk to let him back to see you before you’re off work. He loves seeing you all dressed up in your work attire.

Boyfriend!Butcher loves your thighs. This man screams thighs man to me. (Karl to, to be completely honest)

I could spend all day talking about this man. I need help, I think my husband is catching on, poor guy lmao 😂

BILLY BUTCHER LOVES YOUR THIGHS, has to have his hand resting on them when you’re sat together

loves how they squeeze his head when he’s going down on you , wants to be smothered by you :(((

[chlobliviate]

Out of context snippet

Thanks for the tag @pain-in-the-riri!!

This is the opening to a fic I’ve had on the back burner for a while called The Remus Lupin Boyfriend Experience.

Fake dating! Background Jily and Dorlene! Unhinged behaviour in the name of ‘boyfriends’!

Remus and Sirius were categorically not a couple. They had made that very clear to Remus’ ex boyfriend, James, and Lily, and Pete, and The Weasleys, and Remus’ mum, and The Potters, and Marlene and Dorcas, and the very sweet old lady outside Tesco who had told them that it was beautiful to see two young men so in love. She was the one who had taken it the hardest, honestly. They were just best friends. That was all, and that was fine.

Lily had tried to pry from Remus whether he had feelings for Sirius for years at this point. His response to her hadn’t changed (‘Of course not, give me some credit.’) but he’d only be lying to himself if he didn’t acknowledge that there was at least a tiny flicker of something there. Not that he’d ever act on it and risk losing his favourite person and fracturing their friendship group forever. James had tried once to bring up his love life and learned his lesson swiftly when Remus blocked him on everything for ten days.

At 31, Remus had been in several long term relationships, but had been single since turning 30 after a calamitous break up with Benjy-Fucking-Fenwick. He knew that James and Lily meant well but there was no way in hell anything would ever happen with him and Sirius. He imagined they were also having these conversations with Sirius, but the two of them had never discussed it. James was getting less and less subtle when they met for video games and cocktails (an honoured Saturday evening tradition) and Lily just shrugged whenever Remus stared daggers at her.

But they most definitely were not a couple. Never had been a couple. Never would be a couple.

“What are you drinking tonight, Moons?” Sirius threw his arm around Remus’ waist and rested his head on his shoulder. “I can’t decide between some cider or risking James’ cocktail making skills.”

Remus hummed in thought as he instinctively wrapped his arm around Sirius’ shoulders. “He said he was aiming for ‘Sex on the Beach’ and ‘Woo Woo’s. So if you’re feeling fruity I—”

“I’m always feeling fruity, darling.” Sirius smirked up at him as Remus threw his head back and laughed. “You’re right, it’s cocktails and games, not cider and games.”

“But what about fruity cider?” Remus chuckled. “Is that not a cocktail?”

“Shut up.” He said, “Stop making things more difficult than they need to be.”

“But that’s where I excel. You know me.”

“Unfortunately.” He huffed, “So, vodka and juice?”

“And Grenadine if they have some.”

“That sweet tooth of yours is going to fuck you up one day.” Sirius suddenly turned to face Remus and spoke quietly. “Don’t look now, but Ben is over there.”

Remus, to his credit, didn’t look, but sighed. “Let’s grab what we need and go.”

“Or…” Sirius had a look on his face that Remus didn’t like at all.

“Or?”

“Or we let him know how much better you are without him.”

“I’m not— How? I’m not exactly thriving.” He narrowed his eyes at Sirius, who was beaming at him in a very disconcerting way.

“Well, I heard that you’re enjoying your new job, you’re very close to finishing your book and that you have a hot new boyfriend.”

Remus snorted, “Yeah, sure. I also won the lottery and I’m flying home in my private jet.”

“Remus, the things that man-child did to you made me so fucking angry. I’m still angry! Furious, in fact!” He looked up at Remus, his tone sharper, “Just tell him we’re dating, he’ll be jealous, trust me. You know he never trusted me around you. Not like I’ve known you since you were a tiny eleven year old.”

“You were a tinier eleven year old, and that just feels like opening an unnecessary can of worms, Pads.” Remus chewed on his bottom lip. “He probably wouldn’t care anyway.”

“Oh, he will.” Sirius extricated himself from Remus’ arm. “Trust me?”

“Of course I do.” Remus smiled softly at him.

“Hold my hand.”

“I don’t want to hold your hand.” Remus stared at him, blankly.

“Just suck it up and hold my hand. You have to.” Sirius grabbed his hand, roughly interlacing their fingers. “It’s not like we’ve never held hands before.”

“I hate you so much.”

“That’s fine, just hold my fucking hand.” Sirius said through a very toothy smile as he saw Benjy spot them.

Benjy Fenwick, man that you are, catching strays once again.

One day he’ll get his happy ever after, but it’s not this fic. I’m going to focus on this after I’m done with Ghosts so within the next week or two 🥰

I have no idea who to even tag bc I’m bad at tumblr. So I’m gonna tag ‘anyone who wants to do this’! 🥲🥲🥲 and maybe try and get better at tumblr.

[night-night-stories-before-bed]

I am sick as fuck with the flu and high on meds since Friday. Been watching Godzilla movies until now and just started Miraculous.

Why can't I find fic with my man Gabriel?? Let me make him worse or get a toxic and tense relationship with my favourite forever grieving widow!

Give me my old man Yaoi!

Because you can't tell me Gabriel isn't fruity…

I might also want to throw him down the Eiffel Tower.

And a few staircases…

Like how can you be so horrible to your son? Even Toji loved his son more than you I bet :(

I want to adopt Adrien and Marinette and keep them safe away from all those fights. They are kids!! Kids shouldn't be fighting so much :/

I give it a week because man, that flu is hell. At least its not my annual laryngitis.

[discofama]

A lot of thoughts on how Alastor stopped being my favourite character, just my personal opinion and preferences. Warning: this doesn't mean I hate his character!! I just don't like him that much

At the start, it was about attitude. I mean, we all watched the pilot, it feels like a genuine first episode for the series, so any changes were noticeable. Most were okay! But one that really made noise to me, as an Alastor fan, was the slight change of Alastor's personality.

For some reason, he became less energetic, moved less around the place, touched and handled people less... And I don't know how to explain this without sounding like a bigot, but he became affeminate (and sometimes almost even child-like) in the way he talked, expressed and moved. Now, I've got no problem with femenine male characters! It's just that Alastor wasn't like that in the pilot, and I really, really liked him that way. Affeminate, fruity villains are common and starting to feel very tiring for me, personally. In the pilot, he felt more like a man from a century ago, and now he's got a different way of being. That plus the higher voice tone plus lower radio effect plus removal of laugh tracks etc... I didn't like it. But it was mostly about the energy. Pilot Al was all over the place, was talkative, charismatic and seemed friendlier, but series Al kind of lost that, he became almost quiet...

About the design. A lot of people hate it, but I don't. I understood the criticism about the hair cut not matching his era, I didn't care because of all the other details about him that did, but many of those details have been lost. He's just lost that special feel the character had.

Then the deer ears. They're unique, I like them, how wouldn't I if I'm a literal furry. But if you combine that with all the other concepts Alastor carries, it's a little saturated. He's a deer demon and makes deer noises and stuff, but also a radio demon with a radio voice and a cane, but also a voodoo demon with living shadows and weird tentacles... You get me here, right?

Getting extremely personal here. I think it'd be cooler if his powers actually resembled something about deers or radios, but fucking tentacles? It's a lazy choice and I just don't feel like it fits him. A power with a similar function (if they needed it) that I think would look better instead, is growing from the ground huge tree branches that resembled anthlers. Or, I don't know, radio antennas that confused the enemies with annoying static. Just something else that at least tried to match the concepts he already had.

Moving on to storytelling...

I HATE when they tell us something instead of showing us. And they do that with Alastor several times, damaging that feel of danger around the character. I hate it. I can't stand it.

Perhaps it was on purpose, so he would be revealed as a fraud. But that twist would go WAY harder if they showed us. NO person telling his story, just a flashback without commentary that raised a lot of questions at a vital point of the plot or something. I can't comprehend the reason this series refuses to show the past without someone telling it. Sometimes it works well, sometimes it's annoying. But I feel that this series would GREATLY benefit from adopting a technique of storytelling similar to battle shonen (combined with the musical numbers obviously).

Now I'm not saying he's a fraud, i'm talking about the possible case of not being him the one behind the overlord massacre. If it WAS him, this storytelling problem is even worse. It minimizes the impact on the audience. It does not help to make the character seem dangerous. I swear to god, if the way they told us about his massacre was a two or three minutes flashback showing us his old radio show, where suddenly screams were heard coming from it and the news were spread in all of hell about the disappearance of several overlords...

It would have been SO. COOL.

[carmenized-onions]

NEW CHAPTER, 14, new recap (can you believe the first one i recapped was chapter 5 oh my) lets rip some coke and goooo

“I thought it was a good bit!” “Cause I’m a piece of shit?” - IVE MISSED THISS

CHARMIN SOUNDS LIKE CHARMING 🥹🥹🥹

the deer in headlights bit is v funny, you’ll see when you see the memes (which i made before the chapter, i am nostradamus)

she is fruity for sure

nodding like i understand food talk (tf is a3)

unrelated but the same therapist thing reminded me about something i keep forgetting to bring up - RICHIE IS HR. so when you mentioned the bear needs an HR, well they do. and as long as carmy treats chip right i think he’ll accept the co-worker relationship (anything to be able to work with chippy)

THE CAT. he is those cute curly kitties. the shat, iykyk

the fact carmen wants to say ‘i love you’ this early (something he struggled a lot to say to his family) IS SOOOOOOOOO

OMG CHIPPY GOING TO WORK FOR THEM FOR REAL????:333333333

This has been Carmichael Burrowski, folks! Don’t call no one— — DNEKRKRIOELEKDKFODNEKE CARMICHAEL BURROWSKI

Ugh, boyfriend? What kind of word is ‘boyfriend’? That's fucked. - THEYRE SO SIMILAR AND PERFECT TOGETHER

And you cannot say you love him because that would be weird. - OH SHUT UP THEYRE SO

“I’m going to kiss you.” “Yeah, okay.” - THAT IS SO FUNNY SJDJFJKF

He’s fine with the touch of hair pulling, on your part— Possibly more than fine. — *giggles in meme*

“You’re so pretty.” You tell him anyway, speaking into his half open mouth.  Whatever thought he had, it’s dead now.“—Jesus fucking Christ.” - i need them to know how much i love them jesus fucking christ

“I’m not a fucking virgin.” - LMFAOEKRKKEOEKEKRNRKRKRKEKEKEKE

“It was a recent development, okay?” “Darn. Sorry I was late.” - 🥺🥺🥺 imagine -

“I want you in every sentence.” - FUCKING KILL ME WHY DONT YOU CARA MIA😭

to bite you like a cannibal - this man and his hickeys🤭🤭🤭

“Fak is still outside, I’m pretty sure.” - CHIP??1?2?2?3kr3kr3kr3kr838484kr4&4&4

“Wait— Are they?” Oh, so Richie’s here, too? Good. - oh great everyone’s here, bet squid is there too

NUZZLING NOSES

her old cat, her old pu-

Nuzzling your face into Syd’s cheek - squidink as she’s holding carm’s hand?? wild

“First of all, wrong placement.” - ofc it is

When shit happens, you call me - 🥺🥺🥺 bestie!!!

“Get your weird little hands off my Chip, you perv—” - LMFAOOOW DJEJEJDJDJ I LOVE HIM SO

and syd’s reply sidjdifi

“Y’know how going to a different barber is like cheating—?” - SJDJDJ GET HIS ASS CHIP. they swapped her for fucking ted fak???

“You’re still— We’re still sharing, right?” - SYD SHENJEHEJE

I’m sexually normal - very normal thing to say, it me tho

OMFG IF CHIP RECOGNIZES DONNA AND PETE FROM OUTSIDE THE RESTAURANT

“Baby’s do traditionally experience time, yeah.” “You n’ that smart mou—” - their dynamic is unmatched

You have to respect the power in that. “Damn.” - that reminded me of marcus

“Oooh, Charmin gets his first paycheck suddenly he’s all that—” “You wanna come up to my room or not?” - i was gonna comment on the charmin thing but HELLO1??1?23)kr3:kr

THEY CAN HANG. SURE BRO

THEYRE WATCHING RATATOUILLE OMGGGGG

Sleeveless black turtleneck? Maybe black palazzo pants - HOT

Please say yes to the white apron. Please say yes to his team. He'll get your initials monogrammed and everything. - *passes out*

the wonderful rat chef

ON GOD

“Yeah. I’ll answer.” - bc 🥺😭

“You’re fucking Carmen!” - GOODBYEEEE. not carmen outing them YET AGAIN

“So fuck you, actually.” - 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

“Fuck off! I’m already coming to fucking Time Square with you, don’t be whiny.”  - this is giving when dwight was like ‘of course i’ll get that stuff for you so just shut up’

“I nominate Carmen.” “I second the nom.” - tag-team<33

Don’t fuck in a fuckin’ Holiday Inn Chip’s worth mo - he’s so sweet and yet so???

HE CALLED CHIP BABY I REPEAT

It's absolutely going in Carmen's top five favourite expressions of yours. - 🕊️🕊️🕊️

“Syd said she will be knocking violently if I’m not back at midnight on the dot, yeah.” - SQUID GIVING HER GF A CURFEW

THE BERF SHIRT

“God, it’s over—” - squidink is so over rn😔

“Baby, just say you’re happy for me.” - BABY. THEYRE SO BACK

squid can stab men, a little, as a treat

You hand her your water bottle when you spot her looking at it. - 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

her instinct is to call chip, oh OH oh

“I didn’t ask you to be great.” Syd says it before she thinks it, and it’s enough to make your eyes water - MINE ARE RUNNING TOO ACTUALLY

God you’re dehydrated - *careless whisper plays* i mean what I SAID NOTHING

squid out🦑🦑

“It’s so crazy that you think that’s gonna happen—” - I LOVEEE SHEEE

Your shoulders touch as you both stare at the ceiling. - CUTIES

She hums, pointing to the popcorn tiles - namedrop! jk…unless?

“Oh my fucking God it’s that bad—”- GET THEIR ASSES SQUID

In front of everyone, accidentally while saying goodbye, off-handedly while hanging up, over text, and so on and so forth. - all of those are cute actually

“Now it’s three.” “Fuck, it’s gaining interest?!” - WE’RE SO BACK!!!!

“Wait, what the fuck, Syd, say it back!” - REAL!!

this was so cute!! just them and their adventures

LETS. GET. ROLLLINNGGGG!!!! (papers!!!) (we both can do drug jokes in this house!!!) (there will be a wip under all this as a treat I promise)

I’m honestly shocked Charmin isn’t a canon nickname (yet!!), cause like. IT DOES SOUND LIKE CARMEN!!! AND THE TOILET PAPER BEARS!!! AND THE TOILET PAPER BEARS ARE BLUE NOW TOO!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!

You are frfr an oracle with your memes, occasionally I look at em like hmmmmm,,,, this is gonnna be a lot funnier after the next one. My comedic Nostradamus genius. (the secrets of the universe ARE in the popcorn ceiling!! U!!)

The benefit about writing about food for people who did not come for food is that I also don’t have to fully understand what I’m saying. Had to look at a wagyu chart and make a lot of assumptions. I am not going to make steak with pop rocks to find out if it’s any good.

OKAY WHAT THE FUCK I S RICHIE’S JOB I’M BEING SO FR I DO NOT !!! Carmen’s Exec, Syd’s CDC/Head, Richie is… HR/Co-Manager/Host??? No wonder he can afford fuckin eras tour tickets bro is getting THREE DIFFERENT PAYCHECKS WHAT!!! But this does make sense. Bro IS THEE Human Resource.

Had to look up photos of sheep cats. Yeah that’s him. That’s Carmen but a Cat for sure.

RAHH. The held back I love yous are very. Very rah. Theres a lot of thought behind them for me but I shant share because I feel like that may give too much away I fear?

Carmichael burrowski is brought to you by seeing Carmichael company vans a lot and Mae Burrowski from Night in the Woods. Thank u both for ur service.

I completely forgot about the ‘that’s fucked’ convo with Fak until I saw a gifset and went OH YEAH…. It IS fucked. They are so stupid. They are also both unable to say I love you because that would be WEIRD!!!!!!!

I am so happy with the incredibly funny smooch because it was very much to mimic Carmen’s —

I think funny kisses are the way to go. There is something very charming (CHARMIN!) to me about awkwardly expressed consent.

YOU DIDN’T PUT THE RATATOULLIE MEME IN THIS ONE FOR THE PUBLIC TO ENJOY AND FOR THAT!!! YOU’VE DEPRIVED OUR PEOPLE!! i knew if I was gonna make him watch ratatouille and have him relate, he’d have to relate to more than just remy.

I’ll call them and let them know you love them, promise. Whenever they get out of the bathroom.

Carmen 30-Year Old Virgin Berzatto— Or 28-29, time line is UNCLEAR!! Regardless, I couldn’t take away my man’s one W. He fumbles most people, I had to let him have the one he canonically got. And also it was too fun to consider him absolutely STEWING as Tony recounts her emotional relationship with Mikey, just thinking in the background “I need to tell her I am in fact. NOT . a virgin!” I hate this man.

I WANT YOU IN EVERY SENTENCEEE RRAAAWHWHWHEHE!!! Loved that. Loved writing that paragraph. Love love. Love wanting to have someone so intrinsically in your life that in order for someone to know you they have to know them. WOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Carmen give her a hickey before we have to confront the emotional implications, GET HER BOY!!

Well how much did you bet on syd being there because now I owe you

CHIPS GOT TWO HANDS FOR A REASON BABY!!! I’m kidding the triangle would never work. But they should try anyways.

Whole Richie scene makes me :)) it’s fun to navigate these two going through like, so many internal emotions obviously over Chip’s trauma dump, and deciding what Richie would actually take a moment to comment on. And I think it absolutely has to be the ‘imagine your friends are dead’, bro 100% HAD TO BE HELD BACK FROM RAMMING THE DOOR DOWN TRULY TRULY. Don’t imagine I’m fuckin dead cousin!!!!!! I’m not a fuckin ghost!!! Call me!!!!!!!!! I am literally your guy!!!!!

Watching season 3 and seeing half of the season unnecessarily focusing on a Handyman (Ted) really had me clutching my pearls like. Bro. where’s my baby. Who the fuck does this guy think he is. This is CHIP TURF!!

BIG SHOUT OUT TO SYDNEY ‘THE SQUID’ ‘SEXUALLY NORMAL’ ADAMU!~

Donna!! Donna!! Finally semi-time that I have to face my white whale of writing,,, da mom… I’m still mentally tackling how to write her, but we’ll get there when we get there…. (truly thought she was gonna fucking die this season I didn’t think I was gonna have to DEAL WITH IT!!)

Everyone simultaneously did a record scratch at ‘do you want to come up to my room’ and I think that’s beautiful. I think that’s everything I wanted and more. They can hang bro. and watch ratatouille. Like hang out and be normal and fantasize about easily removable aprons with monogramming done.

Carmen is a certified shoe in his mouth yapper. Sugar, hand the crown to your brother, you may step off your throne; because this fucker has gotten caught like three separate times simply by being himself.

VERY DWIGHT Very like, sibling texting ‘fuck you I hate you what do you want from mcdonalds im omw home’. That’s the Richip dynamic to me. And then they kill carm.

Chip baby!!! This is not a drill he finally called her a pet name!! men, to your stations! And she didn’t even have the brain to COMPUTE IT, alas.

The post squid scene was so tough I was like, ‘do I cut this and just end on carmen?’ but then I knew, I’d never write this scene, cause spoiler alert, we’re doing a very slight time skip. So like. I just wanted Squidink to have their actual last beat to their sad no contact era because!!! So many feelings to be had over not contacting your boy in forever!!! But god its so OVER!

‘Didn’t ask you to be great’ is SUCH a punch to the gut, esp for a people pleaser like Chip (or me, man). Like. Fuckin. GOD. It’s the same sentiment Richie had in Just Dropped with ‘I’d love you even if you weren’t useful’, but like, this side of it is pre-useful. Like. Not only would I love you if you weren’t useful, I would never ASK you to be useful. HELL.

All of those I love yous are cute you say? Well I will have to up my game in coming up with something truly mortifying, then.

Shout out to me, directing on set, and demanding that my crew says it back when I say I love you. Genuinely my ‘Heard’ is a reciprocated ‘I love you’. No one call Richie/HR.

also the memes. immaculate as always. AND THE AUTHOR/CHIP COMPARISON,,, ART IMITATES LIFE, what can i say? if carmen/chip manage to live together at a point i really can't imagine him denying anything she wants. i think he would only have opinions on the kitchen and maybe efficiency of moving through spaces. (WE NEED TO PUSH THE COFFEE TABLE BACK!!! SIDLING AGAINST IT TO GET TO THE COUCH IS CAUSING A 3.4 SECOND DELAY IN MOVIE TIME!!!!) psycho.

Anyways. As always, a pweasure to hear your thoughts. I am hoping next weekend will finally be the fucking weekend I put something out. It’s hard slugging through this next chapter because it’s basically our so much fucking dialogue chapter, and navigating action and meaning AROUND that has been a nightmare. I think I’m probably over thinking the fuck out of it, to be fair. I feel so bad making y’all wait, so here is a juicer snippet.

THANK YOU LOVE YOU APPRECIATE ALL UR PATIENCE AND ALL UR THOUGHTS I LOVE TO HEAR FROM YALL!!

[tired-demonspawn]

ok i wanna put this lil fiona and cake theory/vibe-i-got out there so in the extremely unlikely case it becomes real i can claim i called it and have receipts

(written as of prismo the wishmaster being the latest ep)

anyway

so what i assume will be the plot of the next few episodes is them goin thru universes, trying to find an ice king crown so simon can become a magical lunatic again

now what i propose is that they find some sort of AU crown and/or the fact that simon wont be fighting the effects this time makes it so basically the fruity-ass simon we see in the trailer-

(the fruity-ass simon in question)

-is what our favourite depressed husk of a man becomes

or at least something close to him/"the ice prince" since based on the background and overall vibe of the place in the shot that is most definitely either an AU simon theyll meet or hes a part of some dream sequence

now why am i proposing this?

short answer: i think it would be neat

long answer: we all know he's not going to just end up the same old ice king, not that that wouldnt also be an ending but yknow thats just depressing innit

(+i really dont think the entirety of his character so far was that much of a wet cat so we would feel happy he got magic dementia again)

what realistically is prbly going to happen is either:

what im proposin(aka altered ice king/prince),

he accepts himself and his life as is(aka wont become ice king at all),

or a secret 3rd thing that im too dumb(or i mean i have only seen 4 eps so far, anything could happen) to even conceptualise (maybe something to do with bettygolb? who knows really, shes a god of chaos now, it would be on brand)

of course what would also be neat and in my opinion could very much happen is that he does become some altered ass ice mf, but only temporarily and once back to human again he has like a new understanding and taste for life and therefore even if fionna and cakes dimension is still linked to his sorry dome it will become magical again cuz hes found the magic in himself or something like that

(in short a combo of my moot and the other option)

i dunno just a silly lil idea/feeling i had

do understand im proposing this only as a lil fun idea and a "well wouldnt that be neat" and as mentioned above if it turns out to be correct i will have receipts of calling it

feel free to expand upon it further tho! :)

[kyndaris]

Way to Dawn

There is something to be said of old turn-based games with pixellated graphics. For many, they hark back to the good old days where things in the world actually made sense. In these halcyon days, things were simple. There was not as much grey in the world because everything was black and white. Unfortunately, as time has passed me by, games have become grittier with worlds as drab and bleak as the one we face in reality. Octopath Traveler, however, is a series that knows exactly how to tap into the nostalgia we have for our childhoods.

When the first game released in 2018, I was immediately hooked. In 2023, the second game came out. Due to the fact I was drowning in far too many lengthy games that released in the back-half of 2022, coupled with an overseas trip, and a host of other compelling titles, I simply could not find the necessary time to sink into Octopath Travler II. Enter January 2024.

After finishing off a few key games like Assassin's Creed: Mirage and Spider-Man 2 over December, I managed to eke out some time to give Octopath Traveler II my undivided attention. 90+ hours of it, in fact.

While I started with Alfyn in the original Octopath Traverl, this time I decided to go with my gut and pick my favourite class in almost every single role-playing game I've ever had the chance to dabble in: a thief. Unlike the happy-go-lucky apothecary, Alfyn, Throne finds herself trapped in an endless cycle of death. Her opening chapter sees her scurrying through the sewers of New Delsta with three other members of her gang, the Black Snakes. As the chapter progress, we see the internal struggle among the members of the gang before Throne is then confronted with a long-time friend as both are keen to escape the chains that bind them.

Despite the bleak nature of this first part, Throne's story is still one filled with optimism as she fights for freedom and to break free from the cycle that has kept her trapped for all her life.

From there, I slowly recruited the rest of the Travelers, starting off with Temenos and Osvald. From there, I jumped on a ship to Beastling Island, recruited Ochette and moved to the Eastern Continent - nabbing Castti, Hikari, Partitio and Agnea. The journey took me all across the world of Solistia.

Later, as the game progressed, I would hop to and fro from both continents as I chased after each dangling story thread for my odd band of characters.

And while I liked all of the stores, the two that stuck out to me belonged to Partitio and Agnea. Possibly because of how positive their outlooks were, and how undaunted they were of the cruelties inherent in the world. I know others on the internet may disagree but given the state of the world these days, I was in the mood for something light-hearted and fun.

Let's start with the Dancer shall we?

Agnea is a girl from the village of Cropdale. Her mother was a dancer and, like her, Agnea dreams of becoming a star. Her story, although simple, sees her travel all across the world to show off her dancing talent and bring a smile to people's faces.

Along the way, she meets a colourful cast of intrepid performers from Gil to Giselle's Travelling Troupe.

Of course, it wouldn't be a video game without a villain. And Dolcinaea serves as the perfect foil to Agnea's optimism. Hers is a tale of hardship growing up in the deserts of Sai, being inspired by Cuani (Agnea's mother) and working hard to become a star to take her away from her roots. But while she views her past with disdain and wishes to eradicate it, Agnea is there to remind her of the people her actions will affect, culminating in a dance battle at the Grand Gala in the Merry Hills region.

Plus, there's some fruity goodness along the way with a few key lines between Veronica and Dolcinaea.

Who doesn't like an uplifting journey, anyways?

As for Paritio...where to begin?

If all merchants were like him, I'd think the world would be a much better place. Growing up in a silver mine, Partitio has experienced both prosperity and the depths of poverty when the former land owner of the silver mine takes back the land and levies a huge tax on the silver that is mined in the area. Crushed underneath the weight of oppressive capitalism, Partitio and his gang of friends push back against the enforcers (including a man named Giff - which felt like it was ripping off Biff from the Back to the Future series).

From there, Partitio seeks to do away with the devil that is 'poverty' and seeks out a means to make money but also give back to the community at large. He does so by buying the rights to the steam engine. But not before securing himself a grand sum of 80 billion leaves!

And instead of running away with the money, makes good on his promise to make the world a better place.

While there are some forums that declare Partitio as a capitalist in the truest sense (where human greed does not enter the equation and people know how to share the wealth), I thought many of his ideas somewhat left-leaning. True, he is no communist but Partitio is a person who understands the plight of the common-man and knows how to utilise the talents of those around him to the greatest benefit. More than that, though, he is filled with empathy for those around him and isn't shy to splash his own money around to improve the lives of those around them by 1. giving them a living wage and 2. not push people down in order to get ahead.

Plus, when his theme starts playing and the saxophone kicks in...you know you've got a winner on your hands.

I also really liked Agnea's Song of Hope theme. But I'm also a sucker for any fiddle or string instrument. Which is also why I'm in love with Throne's and Osvald's themes. And that is something else I wanted to praise about Octopath Traveler II. The music! My goodness, the music!

Both Octopath Traveler games are scored by Yasunori Nishiki and he is a genius when it comes to composing such great music. There is something so magical about all the tracks in Octopath Traveler II that I loved.

And that's saying a lot because I very much enjoyed the tracks of the game. Heck, I even bought the CD for the first game and had my mother play it while we drove back up from Melbourne.

The music also proved great at selling the emotion of the song and kept the story aloft, proving to be very poignant at several points. It always kept me engaged during the boss battles. Such a shame it was overlooked at The Game Awards in 2023. I'm sure Flute Guy would have kicked it out of the park if Octopath Traveler II had been nominated for Game of the Year. He certainly was living his best life when Xenoblade Chronicles 3 was nominated and was grooving out to Tears of the Kingdom.

But back to the story of Octopath Travler II. Like the first game, the stories of the Travelers are connected to a central antagonist. But whereas Galdera was a hidden boss hidden behind several side quests, after finishing off each of the Traveler's stories and the Crossed Paths storylines, the Travelers come together and ACTUALLY interact with each other.

When the world plunges into darkness, the Travelers soon piece together that the Moonshade Order was behind it all. Together, they set about re-igniting the flames scattered around the world before confronting the big bad: Vide after Oboro sacrifices himself to the God.

And like many games of the past decade, Octopath Traveler II is a game that explores themes of despair and hope through the lens of nihilism. In fact, I was reminded very much of Danganronpa. True, we didn't have a crazy antagonist obsessed with despair, but we did encounter individuals who saw a cruel unforgiving world and gave into the darkness (or Shadow) within their hearts to quell the suffering.

It's a sentiment I can understand. Humans are cruel. Wars are started for petty reasons, be they for resources or simple pride.

Worse, we turn a blind eye to certain inconvenient truths. Especially if they would only serve to make us feel bad.

Sometimes it's easy to think: what would life be like if humans were all wiped out from existence?

Our Travelers, though, are made of sterner stuff. Despite witnessing atrocities, they continue to fight for the dawn. In their hearts lay a glimmer of light - of hope - for a better world. And in a video game, their actions do bring on positive change.

Together, they drive back Vide and look to the future. Thus bringing a happy end to it all.

But while the overarching story might feel quite simplistic, the themes explored in Octopath Traveler II, I felt were especially poignant. In each Traveler's story, we got to see elements of our current world - be it corrupt bureaucracy, the inherent greediness in humans or their lack of care for the natural world. Each time, though, the Travelers managed to triumph over their foes and bring new understanding.

It's a story I can get behind. And it's probably why I fell in love with Partitio and Agnea's story (but also, who wouldn't want to fight a steam train?)

Gameplay-wise, Octopath Traveler II doesn't stray too far from the first game. It does, however, have a few tweaks that make the game fun and exciting such as Latent Powers and character abilities. For example, Throne is able to increase the strength of all characters at the start of battle when it's night-time. Hikari, on the other hand, has access to learned skills which can be gained by challenging NPCs scattered around the world.

This brings a whole host of different ways to play the game and to optimise the party. Even as weigh in on when to use brave points to unleash on our foes and break past their shields or to hoard them for a devastating attack later on.

Combined in this way, Octopath Traveler II is a marvel of a game. True, there were moments where I felt the story was a little bogged down, but I certainly enjoyed my time with it. Better yet, it never felt like it was a grind. The 90+ hours I sunk into it flew by without me even realising it as my characters levelled up and grew stronger with each passing hour. Beyond these factors, it also added elements of fruitiness between NPCs but it never tried to shove it in the player's face.

Still, in my head-canon, Dolcinaea and Veronica are a couple. As are Temenos and Crick (before his untimely demise - but he was giving off mass death vibes in Chapter 3. Just saying), Pala and Mikka, and possibly Castti and Malaya (although Malaya, too, is dead).

Plus, I loved the dynamics between all the Travelers with Castti being the mum of the group, Osvald the dad, with the others being chaotic siblings.

[cherry-bombx-and-chunky-bootz]

BROOO

its all Leon x Chris, bill x Stanford and dead pool x wolverine.

YA WANNA KNOW MY FAVOURITE OLD MAN YAOI

THESE TWO FRUITY MFS

[kirby-rarepair-tourney]

Round 1, Set 3, Poll 2

Knights and a King's Poor Fruity Right Hand Man: Metagoon VS Dametaranza!

Which one's rarer, and which one's pairer? Vote now, for your favourite rarepair!

Propaganda:

Metagoon

HEAR ME OUT!!!! LISTEN!!! first off its a knight x assistant, SECOND they are both old ass men THIRD they are both the sassiest men in the show!!! I am aware they have directly interacted two times throughout the entire run of the show and have barely acknowledged each other but!!!! both mk and escargoon have known each other for a long time within the castle besides sword, blade and ddd. so they very likely both couldve been having super deep conversations for those however many decades. both of them take very similar approaches but different when it comes on their stance of king dedede. escargoon seems to only be around the king because of the status being directly under him gives him and the benefits to the job but escargoon does not like what ddd puts him thru. same thing can be said for mk who very obviously is only working under the king because of ddd for his association with nightmare and kirby who is set to land there any time. they both work for him for a means to an end rlly. I also think that mks frim nature could rlly help escargoon break out of his “two personalities” cycle. when escargoon is around ddd hes a bitch when hes not (sometimes) hes nice(?). though once he gains his status back under ddd or no longer makes use for the kids hes prtty bitchy again. mk could probably set him straight or atleast walk him in the right path with him not being his superior nor one of the “brats” he has to deal with. they seem on equal footing. also just a hc i like to think because both escargoon and mk are mechanics that after the anime escargoon helps mk rebuild the halberd. OKOK IM DONE!!!!! HERES A FIC I NEVER FINISHED IF U WANNA SEE MY GRAMMATICAL ERRORS AND ILL MIND [Linked is the fic in question!]

Dametaranza

They were. HORRIBLE. for each other. The textbook definition of a problematic pairing. They got together for the wrong reasons, handled conflicts the worst ways possible, and both have such inflated egos that they NEVER learned anything good from what they were going through. Why did they stay together you may ask? Well, you see, their flammable relationship had… “benefits”, bonuses one may say. (I will not elaborate.) Also I use past tense because they are exes. They hate each other so much but also… they can’t live without the other. They just GOTTA be so loud about how much they despise the other. It has its beauty I suppose??

[Added by Poll Runner] It's a darker and edgier take on Metaranza! Definition of toxic boy yuri imo, the cattiness and sharp edges, it really adds a lot for a cooler take on an already cool couple! You put two fucked up arrogant little "Has died will die again" freaks together and you watch the world burn <3

[mrlondonboy]

🔍 Harry Griffin Jr Takes a Lie Detector Test

"  we're  going  to  be  taking  a  lie  detector  test  today.  you  will  be  hooked  up  to  the  machine,  and  we  will  ask  you  a  series  of  questions  -  whether  you  tell  the  truth  or  lie  is  up  to  you,  but  the  test  will  be  able  to  snitch  out  any  lies."

" Seem simple enough."

"  to  start,  what  is  your  first  name  and  what  city  are  we  in  ?  "

"Harold. Or Harry. And we are in the amazing New York City."

"  thank  you.  how  are  you  feeling  today  ?  "

"Just peachy. Had my morning beagle and coffee. I'm content."

"  understandable.  how  about  an  easier  one  -  what's  your  favourite  colour  ?  "

"It's been blue forever. But like a darker blue. I don't know the name, but let's just say dark blue."

"  and  your  favourite  film  genre ?  "

Harry lets out an airy chuckle. "Most people would say Superhero movies, with my track record but I want to make the record straight I do enjoy a good horror thriller."

"  let's  see  -  what  is  one  thing  you  wouldn't  be  found  without ?  "

"It is too "basic"- is that the term?" Harry laughs trying to understand these new terms being tossed around. "My phone. I'm always on it. Text, random Google searches during the day."

"  keeping  it  light,  what's  your  drink  of  choice  ?  "

"Whiskey on the rocks." "That's a lie." "Okay, okay. You got me. I'm kinda of a fruity drink kind of guy. Long Island Ice Tea is up there.

"  which  of  the  following  have  you  attended,  and  would  you  attend ?  "

bold  what's  been  attended,  italicize  what  would  attend  /  attend  again.

the  ballet.  the  met  gala.  the  horse  track.  the  race  track.  a  yacht  party.  the  opera.  the  orchestra.  a  broadway  show.  a  shakespeare  production.  a  concert.  a  comedian.  an  (  american  )  football  game.  a  soccer  /  football  game.  a  documentary  film.  a  film  premiere.  a  polo  game.  art  museum.  wine  tastings.  nyc  sightseeing  tour.  celebrity  sightseeing  tours.  haunted  tours.  charity  galas.  fashion  shows.  fashion  week.  disneyworld  /  disneyland.  a  basketball  game.  a  hockey  game.  a  baseball  game.  a  boxing  match.  a  cricket  match.  the  golf  course.  the  olympics.  

"  oooh,  we're  jumping  into  something  a  bit  heavier  now.  what  is  the  one  thing  you  want  to  achieve  in  life  ?  "

"Not to keep in the footsteps of dear old Dad, but maybe finally get that Oscar. Not necessarily in the acting career but one of my films I produce getting some attention. Outside of my name."

"  who  knows  what  the  fates  ​​​​​​​have  ​​​​​​​in  ​​​​​​​store.  ​​​​​​​how  do  you  feel  about  reputation.com ?  it's  ​​​​​​​all  ​​​​​​​anyone  ​​​​​​​seems  ​​​​​​​to  be  ​​​​​​​talking  about  lately."

"I've heard of it. It's a website. I've seen dozen of these in the past couple of years now. My name is always circulating in these outlets. Ever since I've shown my face to the public. I do have to admit this one knows where to get their information."

"  everyone  is  entitled  to  their  own  opinion,  i  guess.  what's  the  weirdest  /  craziest  headline  you've  read  about  yourself  there  ?  "

"Oh, man. A recent one I saw that actually made me laugh, that I had signed on to this trip to space that other celebrities were going. As much as I wish that was true, I didn't make the cut. - I know!" Harry reacted to the gasps behind the cameras. "I'd kill to go to space."

"  what's  something  you  are  currently  working  on  ?  "

"A few projects here and there. Mostly producing. So sorry to disappoint any fans of mine that want another Superman movie any time soon."

"  i'll  look  forward  to  it.  one  last  official  question  -  and  it's  an  easier  one.  cats  or  dogs ?  "

"Thanks. They are some projects that are close to my heart. Oh dogs 100%. I have a Collie, Quinn." Harry was quick to pull out his phone with his free hand. "This is the little guy."

"  personally,  i'm  a  dog  fan  anyday.  anything  else  you'd  like  to  add ?  "

"That this was fun. Only got one beep out of it. Gotta say that's a win."

"  well,  thank  you  so  much  for  joining  us  today  ​​​​​​​-  can't  ​​​​​​​wait  ​​​​​​​to  ​​​​​​​have  ​​​​​​​you  ​​​​​​​back  ​​​​​​​with  ​​​​​​​us  soon."

[bedoballoons]

Is there anyway you could do ghost files and worth it boys just kind of their day to day lives with their partners :)) thank you <3

I hope you enjoy!!

Shyan first:

Ryan smiled goofily as he inhaled deeply, the wonderful smell of delicious fresh baked cookies filling his nostrils and making his stomach grumble in response. It had been awhile since Shane and him had been able to go on a proper date, so he was going to enjoy it to the fullest of his abilities. "Alright, I obviously am going to get the triple chocolate and a pop. What are you getting? Something fruity and gross I assume?"

Shane chuckled happily as he put a hand through his own hair ruffling it just the way Ryan liked. "Strawberry cheesecake is a classic. What you get is a chocolate disaster." To everyone else their banter would seem like a old married couple fighting over dinner but to them it was a routine...a way of saying I love you without actually saying it.

Ryan's smile never left as he placed their order, making sure to pay when Shane wasn't looking. By now he knew better, if he didn't do it Shane would no matter who's turn it was. "I'm so hungry it isn't funny. I could eat a whole dozen of these cookies. I mean I wouldn't but I could."

"You'd throw up...but yes you could. You know I could have paid..." The taller male said as he carried their food over to the nearest table, it was in front of the window and his favourite seat in the whole shop. He sat down in the seat across from Ryan and despite a nice view outside that he used to look at all the time his eyes were trained on his partner. His new favourite view in the whole world.

"You could have paid yes but I didn't let you." Ryan laughed mischievously before taking a bite of his cookie. The chocolate was sweet, probably sweeter than most people would normally like but he loved it...he loved him.

Worth it boys:

Steven laid his head back dramatically, it had been 4 hours on the road and he was starting to feel impatient. Don't get him wrong he loved to travel, he loved his job, and he loved eating the wonderful food but long car rides got boring after a few hours. "Andrew can we listen to music...I need something to sooth my mind or I'm going to go crazy. Crazy Steven could kill someone."

Andrew smiled at his partner, taking a peek in the rearview mirror at Adam who was still listening to podcasts in the backseat. He on the other hand loved long car rides, especially when he was driving like now. "I can turn on music but you most likely won't like it."

The taller male rolled his eyes as he responded, "At this point I will accept anything to break the silence. Why what do you have in mind?" His eyes shifted to the other as he watched him flick on the cars cd player, expecting something terrible.

Andrews face had a big silly smile as suddenly the whole car filled with one direction music, he had a soft spot for the boy band. "YOU LIGHT UP MY WORLD LIKE NOBODY ELSE." He shouted, singing the words completely out of key, if his partner wanted to be entertained than he would deliver.

Steven burst out laughing, to the point of tears as he watched how Andrew got into it way more than any grown man ever should. "This is the most ridiculous thing you have ever done!" He couldn't help it though as he started to bob his head along to the rhythm as well.

<3