#my fault for not saving them
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How to save an AO3 fic in the Wayback Machine
This one author you love has deleted all their works, deactivated their tumblr, disappeared off the face of the (virtual) Earth.
You realise that, for some reason, you never saved their fanfictions. What now?
The Wayback Machine is your friend!
Well, only if some kind soul has saved the fic in the right way. You can be the kind soul, if you like. Just follow these steps:
1) Go to the story page. If multi-chapter, click on “Entire Work”. The URL will look like this:
http://archiveofourown.org/works/4436639?view_full_work=true
2) If the story is rated G or T, go ahead and paste that URL here https://web.archive.org/ in the “Save Page Now” box at the bottom right, and click on "save page".
3) If the story is rated Mature, Explicit or Not Rated (M, E, NR), ADD THIS BIT TO THE URL: ?view_adult=true. The URL will look like this:
http://archiveofourown.org/works/4436639?view_adult=true&view_full_work=true
4) Go ahead and paste this URL in the “Save Page Now” box of the Web Archive. It needs to have this bit, in this exact order
?view_adult=true&view_full_work=true
immediately after the story serial number. Of course, omit the &view_full_work=true if the story has only one chapter. Now click on "save page".
What happens if the URL doesn’t have the ?view_adult=true bit in it? The story won’t show in the Wayback Machine. You’ll get the AO3 content warning:
“This work could have adult content. If you proceed you have agreed that you are willing to see such content.” You will NOT get to the story.
Please note that this method does NOT work with restricted fics. Whatever you try, the Internet Archive will only save the AO3 login wall for those. As it should.
Alternatively: save that fic you like NOW. Even if it’s a WIP. Even if it's abandoned. Yes, even then. SAVE THAT FIC.
But for the love of all that you hold dear, DO NOT REPOST IT.
DO NOT PLAGIARISE IT.
DO NOT FEED IT TO AI.
The end.
#How to AO3#Wayback Machine#Internet Archive#archiving fics#AO3 fanfic#media preservation#self reminder#my post#brought to you by my desperation#authors leave and I feel berefit#all those WIPs gone#all those FICS gone#my fault for not saving them#back when I had the chance#forever lost#don't harass authors#don't plagiarise fics#always be kind#and if you can't#go outside and touch grass#ranting in the tags
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behold, my favorite part of scum villain (the AMOUNT of headcanons let me tell you)
#i love them so damn much#it’s not my fault#how can you not#look at them#they’re perfect#zhuzhi-lang#tianlang-jun#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#svsss#svsss fanart#i forgive them for everything btw
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edwin is a better, stronger man than i, because i would be infinitely more dramatic and petty in his position when crystal enters the scene and charles starts paying attention to her. i would have comic!edwin’s reaction at least (accusing charles of choosing girls over him, storming off to solve cases on his own and deciding to do shit that will get him into trouble so that charles has to come rescue him, etc) but i’d probably take it a step further. i’d be like “i guess you want me to go back to hell then since i’m basically nothing to you 😒” and then i’d legitimately go back to hell JUST to see if he came after me. if he didn’t come after me then an eternity of torture in hell is nothing compared to the pain of rejection and being replaced. but i’m also incredibly mentally ill, so.
(james acaster once told a story about a christmas where he asked his parents for a spice girls cd. he found out whilst at the pool with his family that his sister was getting the cd instead of him. naturally, he tried to drown himself in the pool to make his parents feel guilty. that’s my vibe if i were ever in edwin’s position.)
#even charles is more pissy jealous than edwin is#like when monty enters the scene charles is SO MAD and incapable of being normal#like instead of participating in conversations motherfucker is just pouring and glaring at them whenever monty is present#it’s because charles never had reason to be jealous before until other males started being able to see and interacting with edwin#he’s like nooo i didn’t realise his autism rizz was irresistible to literally every man that lays eyes on him i thought it was just me :(#anyway watching crystal’s early scenes with them actually makes me feel ill because of my rejection sensitivity#i’m like oh this is my nightmare#dw i love crystal with all my fucking part it’s not her fault she’s in this position#crystal palace surname von hoverkraft#edwin payne#charles rowland#james acaster#dead boy detectives#dbdshow#save dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#revive dead boy detectives#yeet my deet#yeet my deebd#payneland#paineland#edwin paine#dbda#dead boy detective agency#chedwin#the sandman universe#dead boy detectives comics#charles x edwin
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What if I straight up didn't explain myself? What if I just said trust me on this? Would you?
#fe warriors three hopes#mercedes von martritz#miklan anschutz gautier#we really only need to clarify this is STRICTLY warriors miklan and i think ive already condemned myself but i accept it#i am very sorry but the person i usually would talk to about rare pairs has been a bit busy so i couldnt go to them to get it out that way#so art is the only way i have you have to understand its not my fault (its my fault)#did you guys know i reset the azure gleam map three times before googling the chapter where he dies to try and save him#no i dont think he deserves to be pardoned for what hes done but i liked that w3h gave him a small chance to be better FOR HIMSELF#no i dont think he should simply be forgiven for everything he did but i do like that he was given humanity and how#he was still not a good guy but damn you guys i think about that npc sometimes#who says that they admired him becoming something despite being a criminal bc if miklan can do it whats stopping them from being better ?#like that npc stuck with me a while ok#just ......... there are a lot of thoughts here that i dont think many of you care to read even in tags so ill stop now#i will say the canvas is saved as speed run to cancellation lesgo
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Me: I love all of the TOS trio individually.
Me: How can I have a fave, when they are all equally amazing.
Me: They can’t be separated.
My Star Trek Pinterest board:
50 pins of Kirk, 50 pins of Spock, 165 pins of Leonard McCoy.
#it’s probably his blue eyes#actually I have quite a lot of spock and kirk saved in photos I don’t ahways pin them#he could break my bones I would say thanks#bones just does it to me#i will not be sharing my pinterest board because all of the kirk pins are him being shirtless#i still believe i love them all equally it is no my fault bones is hot#star trek#star trek tos#st tos#mccoy#star trek mccoy#leonard mccoy#bones mccoy#doctor mccoy#leonard bones mccoy#for some reason i have around 200 pics of Spock in my photo gallery so#i feel bones obsession is a low key universal trekkie experience
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after getting too drunk to head home on her own, dali crashes at amaya and karlee's. she hangs around for a while to help with chores as a thank you for letting her stay and for the clothes she borrowed.
sometime after dali leaves, karlee and ama have a discussion about how dangerously low their finances are and how the ranch isn't bringing in much profit.
dali by @beebeesiims (also let me know if it's okay to tag you each time dali is on screen 🫂)
#ts4#ts4 gameplay#sims 4 gameplay#postcard legacy challenge#postcard: gen4#dali standing there w a coffee mug in ama’s shirt and pj pants…. i’m gonna be abnormal for a while#and then she’s wearing ama’s shirt again w karlee’s jeans and hat :D i love sharing closests#postcard gen 4 bankruptcy arc 😞#they have no money. i used most of the previous generations saving to build this house 😭 my fault yall#this works out for me bc i feel like it’s time for them to struggle 😈#i just think it's so funny that theyre talking in the corner 😭#hey i didnt want to say this in front of your friend but we're broke :/#dalila by beebeesiims#sim: karlee kamealoha#sim: amaya kamealoha
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Alex Albon // I Want You To Love Me (Fiona Apple, 2020)
#web weave#alex albon#f1#heres hoping the pictures dont get squished by tumblr again. if they do its not my fault they were hq when i saved them
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i have posted a LOT about the issues i had with season 4 of TUA but i'm going to say everything i've been thinking right here right now. i cannot get this shit out of my head.
i think a lot of it ties back to the flaws i noticed in season 3, they tried to take on too much and abandoned the previous storylines that were waiting for them (viktor's traumatic relationship with leonard, five's trauma in general, lila's parents dying because of five, DAVE, etc etc) and we were all expecting them to tie it all together in season 4
instead they just.. added more..???? jennifer and abigail were thrown in late season 3 and were just suddenly supposed to be super important to us (they were not.) the subway that takes you to other timelines (objectively cool as fuck, why is this only introduced in the last season of The Timeline Show)
and i'm still really upset that reginald is an alien because it makes no fucking sense. i always assumed he created the mystery 43 babies (why else would he seek them out and already have a plan for them) but the alien route was.. ill-fitting. i think it would've worked better if he fell in love with abigail, who was an alien and created marigold, and then his hubris and curiosity was what unleashed it into the world and doomed the timeline. "sure this mystery chemical destroyed the planet my wife is from but i'm reginald hargreeves so that won't happen to me!" [happens to him] also i wish abigail was not just used as "see! abuser not so bad! abuser have wife! he love wife :]" because. what. and then her weird complaints about reginald in episode 6 that came out of nowhere confused me. they just should've written her entirely different if they were gonna have her at all
AAALSO i hated that they regressed all of the characters back to how they were in season 1 (or worse??). luther was living in the old umbrella academy building because apparently he will never leave it?? after everything?? diego's life was different but he was still doing this weird job shit (discount batman and mail carrier are the same thing) and he was miserable with his loving wife and kids (who ARE you.). allison's husband left her again (what the hell raymond) and she was still the neglectful single mother of claire?? after EVERYTHING I KNOW I ALREADY SAID THAT BUT GOD. klaus actually had something going for him, if only his recovery wasn't made into a joke, and then he relapsed and got kidnapped and was just very.. season 1 klaus.. but with no ghost ben anymore. five.. eugh. he was not season 1 five he was just NotFive. crazy how they had a magnus archives crossover and just brought in NotThem to take five am i right guys. ben's also different because it's not the same ben from season 1 but they just made him really fucking mean. like worse than season 3 because there wasn't that underlying "please i just want to be loved" thing. crypto bro ben was funny as fuck though. and VIKTOR just fucked off by himself after working so hard to be part of the family again. glad he got to transition and become canada's #1 manslut but jesus, just abandoned everything you did to be part of the family huh.
my vision for the ending of TUA would go something like this
ending of season 3, pretty much the same but they all have their powers and reginald's head getting sliced in half did not reveal him to be some alien freak. also at some point abigail would have been introduced. i don't feel like rewriting season 3 too okay i'm cutting corners.
luther finds sloane when he goes back to where the umbrella academy building used to be, but it's now a very lovely apartment that the two of them live in together. they host all of the family gatherings for sentimental and space reasons. i think luther would explore the stripper idea but decide not to follow it because of sloane. sloane would be fine with it but luther would still get worried.
diego and lila live in the same house somewhat nearby. lila's family (they do get to be alive but lila does have to overcome the trauma of losing them while simultaneously getting them back) are their neighbors, it was the compromise they came to because diego wanted their house to be their space but lila wanted her family close. they have three kids who are each loved and names get to be in the fucking show. (looking at you mystery twin. grace and coco (?) didn't really get much attention either). they have a big backyard that the kids all play in together when they're visiting
allison and ray are still together and they have claire (maybe another kid...) they also live somewhat nearby the rest of the umbrella family because i refuse to let them separate. i don't have much to say about them other than RAY DID NOT WALK OUT ON HER.
klaus and dave live in allison and ray's neighborhood. maybe they adopted a kid? maybe they didn't? i think their family would be really cute either way. klaus is still overcoming his addiction and dave supports him through it. it's not made into a joke and actually gives klaus a lot of depth and emotional moments. also just in general dave meeting the rest of the family would be really really sweet
five gets to retire. he lives with viktor in my mind. full circle on viktor being the person who always waited for him and offered him a place to stay after he got home in season 1. five would not actually be getting a retirement pay because he has never had a real job so he's just vik's roommate now. he could have a romance plotline with a woman working at the department store down the street named delores. she looks familiar.
ben lives alone and works at a tech company? honestly i don't know what i would do with him in the pre-plot but it would not be put him in jail?? me personally. i think he would probably move further away than everyone else but stay close enough so he could visit sloane sometimes. he still feels like an outsider but doesn't know how to tell the umbrellas he wants to be their brother now
and viktor lives with sissy harlan and five (previously mentioned). his transition gets to actually be explored (PLEASE.), harlan is in therapy, and sissy is a strong working woman!! again i don't really know what to do with him pre-plot. just know he's the happiest he's ever been!!!
and just in general, a lot of this happiness from all of them comes from their powers and that they can finally be one big happy family together (whether ben likes it or not). setting up the inherent tragedy that comes with perfection
episode 1 opens by showing everything i just explained, the tragedy of getting everything you want or whatever the title was. their powers are still integral to their lives. they're either tied to their careers (luther would probably be like a wrestler or something again, diego could try police work again because i want that to be explored) or other aspects of their existence (allison still finds herself doubting how much of her life is real, klaus' relapses are always caused by his trauma surrounding ghosts, five sometimes space jumps when he wants to be alone [also i think he could feel some sort of shame/guilt because he lives with viktor and can't really contribute much without the commission. not really his fault though because of his insanely fucked timeline], ben uses the squid to carry things or grab things that are far away, and viktor plays the violin to help him remind himself that he is in control of his power now, and he won't end the world again)
the main conflict starts when ben meets a new woman named jennifer and shakes her hand when introducing himself (starting the marigold/durango reaction that builds very slowly throughout the season.) it could be romantic but i think it's just devestating. they're slowly realizing they're losing everything they worked so hard for because of something they can't control
yadda yadda yadda figuring shit out while also having conflicts in their life from the earlier seasons and it culminates in the old umbrella academy building, viktor is the only person who can remove the durango and marigold from ben and jennifer and save the world. he finally gets to be the hero, be the one to stop the end of the world instead of cause it, but he needs to take the marigold from each of the siblings in order to balance the amount of durango jennifer had (no idk why he would let the other like 30 something marigold kids keep theirs i really don't know how to fix that. why would they do this to me)
each of the siblings have to give up part of their lives, part of their identities, and it's hard for them!!! they struggle a lot to agree to do it!!! and it's also harder for them because they don't know if viktor will survive doing this. but he's the only one who can? is his life more important than the existence of everything and everyone? ultimately, they all give up their marigold, and viktor takes all of it and the durango to save everyone. it cancels itself out and stops the cleanse reaction, and i think it would kill viktor (but it doesn't have to). we see that same clip of the 'perfect world' but they get to be in it. they were never the problem. lila and diego play in the park with their kids. allison ray and claire are walking together. klaus and dave are talking on a bench. luther and sloane are carrying a large basket of food. ben and five are helping them set up the picnic. harlan is sitting in the grass with sissy next to him. each of the adults have a small violin tattoo on their wrists. their lives will never be as perfect as they were before, but they can finally just rest and move on. because it was never their fault.
also reginald dies. fuck that guy
#holy SHIT i did not mean for this to be that long#i got really into it i guess#idk i just wish season 4 was not that#it was never their fault#they were just PEOPLE#flawed people but they did not deserve to die#a perfect world can exist with them in it#also this is not viktor hate in any way i love him so fucking much and this would make me cry violently#i just think it would be a full circle moment#the guy who ended the world twice is now the only one who can save it#and he has to give up more than anyone in order to do it#but he does it#not gonna say with no hesitation because that would undermine his relationship to sissy harlan and his family#this was really just me dumping everything i've had in my head on tumblr#complaints and the perfect ending i've decided is canon#the umbrella academy#the umbrella academy season 4#tua season 4#tua s4#tua spoilers#tua#umbrella academy#long post
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Hey! i’m really into the dbch story and i was wondering if doc and xisuma ever tell bdubs the specifics of why etho lost his memories, cause if they do that is prime self blaming angst for bdubs
I’m inclined to believe they don’t. Actually (and maybe I should do a small comic for this so more people see it) I imagine, once a month or a few pass and they finally return etho to bdubs as reset, I imagine they are VERY serious about warning bdubs not to try to force Etho to re-deviate— they don’t go into specifics, but they probably tell bdubs that whatever happened had to do with something that was emotionally overwhelming, and that forcing him to redeviate/not letting it happen naturally could trigger the same error. They have no idea what could happen so bdubs needs to be very careful and let Etho find himself again on his own.
Whether or not bdubs gets impatient or can only go so long before he doubts it would be that bad if he tried pushing Etho in the right direction is another story.
But yeah. I don’t think Xisuma or Doc really… tell anyone that this happened. Etho’s error seemed like a very specific one-off scenario, so it’s not something the other hermits should be trying to avoid or be careful about happening to their own android friends, and the only thing telling people would do is make them worried about the situation. All they need to know is that etho was broken and that they need to be careful with him. I don’t agree with their decision to keep what happened to themselves but I understand it I think. Xisuma “i don’t want to worry the hermits” Void and Docm “eh this isn’t the first time I’ve replaced this arm, people won’t question it” 77
#that’s a lie actually I think xisuma ends up telling Cleo :>#but only because Cleo is very smart and I think they should be close in this au :]#but no she would clock Tired Overworked Existential Crisis Xisuma in an instant#Cleo calls them both idiots and gives them big hugs and tells them they need therapy. also that they’re welcome by her place anytime to talk#it’s very sweet and healing to me#this is where “all things end’’ on Xisuma’s playlist comes in actually#oh my god I got so off topic#BDUBS IS GOING TO FEEL GUILTY NO MATTER WHAT THOUGH#like okay. technically#the reason etho shut down is because he was freaking out that everything was his fault#(last life—not giving bdubs a heart— trying to win for bdubs and then losing— coming back to s8 feeling like he can’t face bdubs—>#ending up leaving him alone when the moon hit#and bdubs was hurt by these things. no doubt#but bdubs just wants his friend back and maybe he’s a little reckless about it#bdubs hides his emotions behind cartoonish frustration and complaining but he feels bad#he feels like he should be doing more to ‘save’ etho and bring him back even though he was to#told* he shouldn’t#dbhc ask#dbhc#dbhc bdubs#dbhc etho#dbhc doc#dbhc xisuma#ask#anon
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i have several drafts from back in january comparing some of my old man yaoi ™️ ships which i decided against posting at the time because, quite frankly, they were thoughts no one would appreciate but me. two of the ships i know have some overlap, but the third didn't fit. a different genre. too niche.
but, with a new deadpool movie out and other ppl seeing the buggy parallels, i might as well get this off my chest:
shuggy is cablepool.
(not movieverse cablepool, to be clear. (i enjoy movieverse cable but he is not my mutant messiah.) comics cablepool.)
the dynamic is eerily similar:
we have an occasionally slapstick murderclown with obvious issues about the unusual way he looks, who presents himself as only having selfish motives but is (sometimes) lying about that, is very hard to kill, is disliked by ppl who have to work with him and popular with and beloved by ppl who don't both in-universe and out!
and his ex-bestie, a massively overpowered would-be martyr who is missing a flesh arm, has three scars over one eye, whose continued fondness for the murderclown post-breakup baffles everyone around him (murderclown included), and who refuses to elaborate on his motives for doing shady shit (including manipulating our beloved murderclown) except that he's doing everything for the sake of the future
like. tell me that's not them.
#tos originals#tbh it's kinda wild how much lines up. even the redheaded kid adopted in secret who much of fandom would like to pretend is still alive!#(note that comics are notoriously inconsistent re: characterization across books so i AM picking and choosing >#> and most of my interpretation of c&dp comes from their excellent mid-00s team-up comic)#…but seriously. it feels like everything but the childhood frenemies backstory is present here.#dp refuses to admit that he believes cable can accomplish his pie-in-the-sky dreams & is very tsuntsun about backing his play#cable is so op atp he tries a pacifist route knowing that if anyone tries to wreck the good thing he's building he can swat them like flies#when they break up dp is super bitter but cable never stops being fond of him. dies to save him even! (he gets better. it's comics.)#in dp's solo runs he occasionally waxes rhapsodic—missing cable and hating him in the same breath#…and dp basically never comes up in a cable solo book lmao#(it's not his fault. most cable writers hate dp. they also don't seem to like cable much.)#hhhhhh this STILL feels too niche to put in the tags#…just the ship tags then#shuggy#cablepool
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#w359#wolf 359#doug eiffel#image desc in alt text#pen and ink#comic#i love drawing the hephaestus. her massive and sprawling body with endless corridors#the way that minkowski and eiffel both describe it as so big you could get lost in it#so big it couldnt possibly have been designed for a three human and one ai crew#so big that there has to be more of it than they can access#and its their home. but its also a hostile environment.#and its hera's body too. but it's out of her control#shes the stations ai but she isnt the station its a body shes been put in and its under her control but shes constantly fighting it#you know?#it reminds me a little of that one episode of ds9 where the station which theyve all made their home on. starts trying to kill them#and its all dukat on the computers going ATTENTION BAJORAN WORKERS. ATTENTION BAJORAN WORKERS.#while they desperately try to save the inhabitants and protect themselves#this is their home they live in it they get used to it. they love it. and sometimes. it wants to hurt them. and thats not its fault#its a fascinating relationship to have with a place#anyway forgive my tags i love drawing space stations
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saw someone say they're we're happy Alicent's and Otto's deaths forced them "realize what they had done" and like...
Otto's one thing, I get the animosity. but Alicent? your getting hot and bothered over her realizing she failed, she failed to save her children, she failed to protect them, to them alive? that she tried so hard, so fucking hard, making every hard decision, trying to get between her children and the fate they were damned to by Viserys and Rhaenyra? that she damned her kids, who were already damned to die to begin with, and had to suffer the guilt of them dying to her own hand? that she's going to drive herself mad with grief over her children, her grandchildren?
like... it's not satisfying (especially for show Alicent) watching a woman go so mad with grief it literally kills her because she fought with everything she had to save her children only for them to die anyway. ever since her father's exile, when Rhaenyra's lies took Viserys's favor, when Viserys ignored the Rhaenyra's sons bastardhood at the risk of the whole house, or when Luke took Aemond's eye and Viserys demanded good will; she knew her children's lives were forfeit. then Daemon killed Vaemond and her children's coffins were built, catching cobweb's all the while. she knew and she fought it desperately, taking risk after risk, living in fear until her moment came, she could out Aegon on the thrown, she could protect her kids, maybe, just fucking maybe they'd be safe... only for it to lead to a war that would kill her entire family.
her death, slow and tragic as it was, is heartbreaking. she didn't deserve it, she deserved to feel safe, to feel as though she could allow her past friend take the thrown without her children being at risk to feel as though she and her children weren't being circled by wolves and picked at by vulture's. she didn't deserve to live alone and die alone. she didn't deserve to have her hands coated in her children's blood.
#the fact that her (amongst many other greens deaths) get so many TB fans dicks hard is actually nauseating#like do you not realize how fucking awful her death is going to be?#like I cant imagine her pain#imagine risking it all after years of literal torture by her own families hand#her father manipulation. Viserys's abuse snd neglect. Rhaenyra's betrayal.#to save her kids#knowing they were damned#thst they would die if she didnt try#and than they died horrifically anyway#despite her efforts to save them#to be a good mother#to not fail them???#and this isnt to blame her if that isnt clear#its just such a fucked up situation she was in#they were going to die regardless (in my opinion the war was going to happen no matter what they did and it would have claimed their lives)#but in trying to save them it felt like it was her fault#if you get what i mean#which makes her descent into madness so sickeningly horrific#alicent hightower#alicent my beloved#pro team green#pro alicent hightower#hotd#house of the dragon
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Frank isn't even LOOKING at the stars hes a big fat LIAR!!!!!!!!
[Original Image]
#i havent been feeling well lately but its okay cuz i have them :-)#bioshock#bioshock fanart#frank fontaine#bioshock atlas#atlas bioshock#my post ‼️#im slowly getting a more cohesive Frank design#him & atlas both have. actual colour palette saved now!!!#frank nibbles fontaine ily#that fucking bird that i hate#the original caption was gonna be way more cheesy btw#sorgy for pushing the frank & atlas agenda again my fault i love them#theyre bug shaped <3#maritime's conundrum ‼️
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#19.3 Unravel
It had been some time since Agni felt this nervous. Not even talking with Jinsung Ha recently had made him feel like this. He fiddled with the mask on his hand as he waited for Grace to come back. He had thought hard on how to deliver the news, but he knew that no matter how he phrased it, Grace would be upset. Velt nuzzled under his palm and Agni gave her a few pats, before deciding that she would be better inside her bowl in his lighthouse, just in case the shinsu acted up around Grace after he received the news.
Grace came back wearing the comfiest shirt and shorts Agni knew Grace liked to wear on lazy days. He joined him on the floor, and they ate dinner together. Agni always finished last, so while waiting for him to finish his meal, Grace told him about his day with Bam. Grace was intrigued by how much his way of thinking had changed, and how glad he was to be able to be by Bam's side when he was having a bad day. It reminded Agni of the hidden floor, when Grace faced his sworn enemy.
They left the used bowls on the coffee table and went to brush their teeth. Afterwards, they turned off the light and went upstairs to sit on their bed. Grace's curious gaze never left him, and Agni curled his feet nervously.
Grace was the one who broke the silence. "So…what is it?"
Agni's breath hitched. This was the part he dreaded most. "I talked with the crocodile earlier. Did you know that he could manipulate stone already?"
"Huh." Grace needed a few seconds to let the information sink in. "Didn't Rak learn it on the Hell train? How does he know it?"
"Turns out our crocodile also traveled back to the past like us. He found the young crocodile and taught him."
"What?!" Grace gasped, wide eyed. "That means our Rak is–!!"
"He's dead." Agni quickly snuffed out that hope. They had been in delusion for long enough; it was time that they faced the bitter truth. "He suffered a fatal injury from the explosion. He couldn't have lasted long without proper help." Agni omitted the actual cause for Rak's death, but still kept his words true. "I'm sorry."
"…Oh." Grace looked lost, just like Agni was. His lips parted a little, but they closed before any sound escaped.
Agni gently squeezed Grace's hand, encouraging and comforting as he let the silence stretch on, giving Grace some time to process the information.
"Agni…" Grace whispered, "do you think Hatz and Isu…?"
Agni bit his lip and avoided his gaze, as the nightmare of that day replayed in his mind. He witnessed Hatz get his arm ripped off when trying to protect him. He could still recall the clang of a sword hitting the floor, and Hatz's suppressed scream that gnawed deep at his guilt. He witnessed Isu get beheaded after being taken hostage, the memory of warm blood painting them both still vivid like it happened yesterday.
Agni refused to acknowledge their possible deaths, because it felt like a nightmare that one day he could hopefully wake up from. He avoided the topic when Grace brought it up, so he wouldn't have to say it aloud and make it real. He had been so hard on himself, because he couldn't get rid of the feeling that he had failed Grace and everyone else involved.
Agni knew this had to change if he wanted to live better, now that they had gotten a second chance. So he swallowed down the lump in his throat that had built up over the years and asked mostly to himself; "What are the odds of their survival?"
"There's always a chance–"
"Grace." Agni looked him straight in the eye. "They were already severely injured before the explosion hit."
Grace fell silent and went still.
Agni felt a pang of guilt upon witnessing Grace's reaction. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap." Agni fiddled with his hands. He realized that he didn't know how much Grace knew of what happened. "My scar…do you know how I got it?"
"I…was told it was from the family heads' battle." Grace looked thoughtful. Agni knew he was trying to be careful with his words. "A stray attack?"
"It could have been worse." The memory of the scorching heat on his skin felt like it had only happened yesterday. He passed out right when he was about to heal Isu, and only found out later that he also lost sweetfish at that time. The days he spent recovering from the burn, to withstand the excruciating pain every second he was conscious, and finally coming to terms that it'd be a permanent scar, was one of the turning points that had changed him forever. Were Grace not there to care for him, he might have ended up destroying himself even more.
Agni hadn't realized he had his left hand clawing on his cheek until Grace pried his hand off and frowned, "You're doing it again."
"Maybe I should wear the mask…" Agni muttered to himself. After all, Grace gave it to him less so he could hide the scar but more to prevent him from unconsciously hurting himself. The only time he could safely take it off was when Grace was around.
Agni bit his lip nervously when Grace didn't reply. He no longer had the courage to look Grace in the eye that spoke so much concern, so he leaned close and rested his head on Grace's chest. "Rak, Isu, Hatz and Hwaryun were trying to get me out of that damned place. But we were caught while escaping, and…it was a bloodbath. I was…too occupied to react to the incoming heat. Rak shielded us from the explosion. And when I woke up…"
"They weren’t with you," Grace finished it for him after Agni trailed off a moment too long.
Agni nodded dazedly, "I've been telling myself that they're still alive, after a blow that could kill rankers. But…who am I kidding? I was lucky enough to survive with just this little–" Agni vaguely pointed to himself– "inconvenience."
Agni felt a hand gripping his arm, and he pulled away to see Grace looking at him with a pained expression. His eyes were glossy and his lips were pulled into a thin line. Trusting his instinct, Agni reached out to gently trace and cup Grace's cheek with his free hand.
"I'm sorry," Agni muttered. "I'm sorry, for not telling you sooner."
Agni silently witnessed tears that streamed down on his love's face. It was a bitter sight that Agni wished he'd never have to see again, that he had tried to avoid for so long by not telling him. He pulled Grace in and held him close to his chest, as if Agni was trying to gather his own crumbled heart back together.
Grace mumbled their late best friends' names as he held onto him tighter, shaking from each breath he took between sniffles.
Agni felt his own eyes sting with unshed tears. He remembered the years he spent climbing the tower together with his old team. Despite their banter being his source of headaches, Agni knew he too had come to acknowledge them as his cherished friends. Only when they were gone did Agni realize how much he'd miss having them around. Seeing the younger them didn't exactly close the gaping hole in his heart, but at least the emptiness was more filled.
Agni squeezed Grace tighter. "We have their younger selves with us now. We will protect them better this time."
Grace only nodded and sank further into his embrace. And Agni planted kisses on his hair, relishing the thought that after everything he had gone through, Grace was still a constant in his life. As long as he had him, everything would be okay.
When Grace started shaking again, Agni caressed his hair and hummed a comfort song they had known by heart. Still, it didn't make falling asleep any easier for Agni, especially not after admitting that his nightmare was very much real. However, as he had been through grief…this, too, would pass.
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#Whee we get to know some of their past. Specifically their turning point#I hope it flows nicely because i have rewritten this like 3 times now 😭😭😭 dialogues are just not my specialty#like how to make them reveal such information without making them come out of the blue#writing style aside. let's talk about why Agni behaves this way#I will save the details on the what and how for the prologue. but basically Agni had been through hell that he couldn't escape alone#Rak Hatz and Isu saved him (or attempted to). and Agni owed them for saving his life. thus the strong attachment that Khun doesn't have#also let me mention that Agni had trouble differentiating between hallucination and reality after the incident. So he was kind of in denial#maybe Agni had come to a conclusion that they might be dead months after that. but he was too afraid to admit it to Grace#because he thought it was partly his fault for being incompetent. and Grace would hate him for letting their friends die#not wanting to risk being left by Grace. he just put himself (and inevitably Grace too) in the illusion of truth#that there's still a chance their friends are still alive because they have no proof of their deaths#so when Agni was offered to go back to the past. he agreed to it. Already expecting that Rak Hatz Isu aren't the same ones that he looks fo#but it was as good as he could get to redeem himself. Plus they get to meet everyone else who they couldn't save#Anyway. I'm taking hiatus until April. In return I will answer if you have any questions whether it is written in the tags or sent via ask#see ya folks <3 we'll get more brothers and team bonding when I return#tower of god#tog#two sides of the same coin fic#my fic#my art#bam#25th bam#jue viole grace#khun#khun aguero agnis#khunbam#shibisu#ship leesoo#rak wraithraiser#hatz
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nobody follows me here so i can freely scream into tbe void :33
i'm constantly plagued by that scene from RoTS with ani and padme on the balcony on coruscant.... they're so genuine and so silly and padme is So Excited to start spending the rest of their lives together,,, and it all goes downhill so fast ,,, truly doomed by the narrative . anakin does everything he can to potentially prevent padme's death but it ultimately plays out exactly how his visions showed,, and the dichotomy of padme dying in white and brining new life to the world, while anakin is ultimately experiencing a rebirth into someone who will bring mass destruction,,,, and how the paths eventually converge down the line and return balance to the force i am so fucking emotional over them all the time. bwah
#anakin skywalker#star wars#padme amidala#they loved eachother so FUCKING MUCH i just want them to be happy :(((#my partner got me on the whole 'watch star wars in chronological order' train and clone wars into ROTS broke me dude. it broke me#he wouldve done anything for her. he tried to do everything for her. he was her everything. his efforts to save her drove them apart#and its all palpatines fault. fucker
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i cant stop thinking about them :(( ignore the bad quality
#they make me crazy in my head#NOT A SHIP#BTW#ooh the guilt of a lost loved one and craving to go back and do something different#convincing yourself there was something you couldve done to save them#that its your fault#nancy helping max navigate those feelings cause shes BEEN THROUGH IT#i think they should get to hug#some of the most hug-lacking girls out there#fanart#stranger things#nancy wheeler#max mayfield#angst#kinda#hurt/comfort#harperdoodles
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