#my evil plot of drawing is coming together

[writingwithfolklore]

Following a Trail of Clues

                Lots of plots have at least some aspect of figuring out a mystery or uncovering some hidden truth. While it may not be a traditional murder mystery, writing a plot that revolves around the gathering of information and uncovering of clues can be written using a lot of the same techniques.

1. You should probably plan it

If you’re strictly a pantser, give it a shot, but I have never been able to pants mysteries like this. I would recommend planning it from the beginning and saving yourself a lot of time and headaches trying to piece it together later.

2. Start with the beginning and end

When planning a mystery, I start with the beginning, and then skip to the point that they uncover the truth or figure it out and work backwards to fill out the middle. What is the last hint they need to uncover the full truth, then, what leads to that hint, rinse and repeat until we get back to that beginning you created.

                For example, say the MC is trying to find their missing friend. The last point would be ‘they find their friend’, so that’s where we begin. Maybe right before that, they’re told the location, to get their location, they’ve kidnapped one of the bad guys who knows it, to get to him, they need to break into the evil lair, to find the lair, they need to spy on the organization, and so on.

3. Diversify the hints

I talk about this a bit in my post about written elements (here), but essentially, you’ll want to diversify how your characters get their hints. It will seem cheap if they find everything they need to know on conveniently spaced notes or journal entries (unless you can really justify that), or it’s all told to them by someone who happens to know it all (such as the ‘wise man’ trope).

                Maybe they find the last clue written down, but the one before was told to them from a key character, and the one before was puzzled out through a riddle, etc. etc. Here are some places to find clues:

Someone else knows something

This could be either an ally or an enemy. Family members, friends they weren’t aware of, a hidden partner, seemingly a stranger who knows more than they’re letting on. If they are an ally, there should be a reason they haven’t come forward yet, or justification for why their testimony is where it is in a story. Maybe they are somewhat accidentally guilty in the mystery, maybe they are afraid to be involved, maybe they aren’t aware anything has happened at all.

If they’re an enemy, maybe your protagonists need to corner them, best them in a battle, talk to them away from their boss, kidnap them, etc. Consider why this person would betray their ‘side’ to provide a clue to the protagonists.

Journal entries, notes, letters, ledgers, or otherwise written down

Physical evidence—footprints, pieces of clothing left behind, an object, photos, drawings

Biological evidence--fingerprints, DNA, hair, etc. If your character already has access to the equipment for this, great! If not, consider how they could find this out.

A prophetic dream or vision (use in cases in which it would make sense for your character to have this, obviously)

A riddle, poem, or song, if you can justify it.

An educated guess (for small jumps)

Timing—if they can figure out a timeline, they may be able to figure out something else

Something is missing or off place. That’s odd, character always leaves their book on the bedside table, so why isn’t it there?

Any other ways to get hints or clues to your characters?

[kissitbttr]

eddie earns his first blowjob from his mean cheerleader girlfriend

warning: 18+, oral receiving, insecure eddie,

a/n: this was requested but i lost the ask lmao, enjoy. also not really that filthy xx

-

sex has never been his forte,

sure he jerks himself off and has a pile of porn magazines stacked underneath his bed but never actually experienced… sex.

girls aren’t exactly lining up to be getting dicked down by him. not when you’re the town freak. if anything, they avoid him like a plague. the only time girls want to be around eddie is just so that he can give them free greens and nothing else. he’s not stupid, he can tell what their true intentions are.

so when y/n came into his life. he has no idea what to expect. obviously, she’s far more experienced and skilled when it comes to it and it makes him feel slightly insecure. and jealous too. because he knows all of her exes were handsome jocks who probably scored more than twenty girls in their lives. no doubt that they had given her so much pleasure than he could possibly offer.

he wants to make her feel good. he really does.

“so, steve and robin gave me these” she pulls up two DVDs and show them to him. “evil dead and carrie. which one do you like best?”

he cocks an eyebrow, eyes switching between the two films. “i thought you wanted chick flicks or something like that?”

she shrugs, deciding to put evil dead on the player. “horror movies make me horny. and what better way to watch it than with my favorite man, hm?”

he chuckles nervously when she shoots him a wink and a smile. flirtatious one. “usually girls get horny when they see porn. but oh, not you. pretty fucked up if i might say.”

“you love it” she responds, crawling beside him as they both lay comfortably on her bed. “how’s your day, baby”

he puffs out a long exaggerated breath. “kind of shit, ms.O'Donnell been up my ass about the last assignment. she wanted me to re-do it.”

“aw that sucks” she pouts, running her fingers through his hair. “want me to beat her up for you?”

“no, i’m good” he laughs, not wanting her to do something that’ll damage her academics. the thing is about y/n, when she says something along the lines of ‘beating someone up’ you better not take it lightly.

because she will do it.

“too bad. I’d love to see her blood pouring out of those nostrils.” she sighs, plopping her head down on his chest as she hooks her leg with his. his arm wraps around her body protectively. “the offer still stands.”

“hey, enough of that would ya?” he kisses the crown of her head, smiling to himself. “as sexy as it is to see you get violent, the consequences will be ten times worse if you punch a teacher.”

“just gotta wait till graduation then.” she innocently replies, finger drawing circles on his chest.

halfway through the movie, eddie is trying his best to keep his focus on the plot. but she’s making it so hard for him to do so. she continuously shifts her weight on him, ‘accidentally’ brushing against his hard shaft with an innocent ‘oops’ every time she does it.

they’ve been together for almost a month and he hasn’t gotten used to the effect she has on him. it’s frustrating how he can’t control his thoughts and clammy palms whenever she puts her hands on his body.

“you okay?” she wonders, looking up at him with her doe eyes and playful smile. “you feel so tense, teddy”

“y-yeah” he stammers as his focus remains fixed on the screen. “just uhm, peachy”

peachy?? who the fuck says that?!

she hums in response, moving her mouth to attach itself on his neck with fingers moving down south to softly palm him over the thick material of his pants. he takes in a deep breath at the touch, finding it more difficult to think straight with her lips on him.

“y/n” he calls her softly, hand gripping tightly around her waist as he feels himself grow even more. “sweetheart i-“

she shushes him. “you look so good right now i have to do something eds.” her tongue licks a bold stripe on the skin, pushing her chest against his, “we can take turns later, yeah?”

he gulps, body melting under her touch. “s-shit, y/n wait, wait!“ he suddenly exclaims, freeing himself from her grip

y/n frowns when eddie pushes her lightly. feeling annoyed why he’s like that towards her.

“eddie what the fuck?! do you not want me to suck your cock?” she harshly asks, then a sudden realization hits her. “are you fucking another bitch behind my back, munson?!”

he wide-eyed her as she crosses her arm, ready to kill him at that exact moment. “what? no! w-what makes you think I’m cheating on you?!”

“who is it?” she shoots immediately. “Julia from the cheer team or that fucking weird four-eyed wendy’s looking motherfucker at loves to stare at you across the hall?!”

eddie is confused. he doesn’t even know who she’s talking about, let alone a wendy-looking girl that keeps staring at him. how does she even know that?

he shakes his head furiously, wrapping her hands in his grasp to reassure her.“no! oh god y/n, of course not! . i only got my eyes for my girl, you know that. plus, Julia? she hates me and my friends, why would you even think of her?”

“then what’s going on!” she groans, moving to kneel in front of him as he sits up straight. “every time we make out or when i try to suck you off, you’d push me away. are you not attracted to me, anymore?”

���princess, believe me when i say this has nothing to do with you! of course I’m still attracted to you.” he says, looking at her in the eye. “shoot me in the head if i decided to leave you for another woman, i give you the permission.”

“okay, so what is it?” her voice turns soft. “you can tell me.”

sooner or later, of course, eddie has to tell her the truth. he hates having to keep secrets from her, but it’s embarrassing. who the hell wants to date a virgin? if she found out about that, she’d look at him differently. and he doesn’t want to lose her. not when things start to get better for him,

she notices how his eyes drop down to his lap, fiddling with his fingers as he removes his hands from hers. this causes her eyebrows to knit in concern.

“baby? what’s going on” she reaches out to softly pat her thumb across his cheek,

“it’s pretty embarrassing” he lowly chuckles,

“it’s not if it got you all worked up like this. come on, It’s your girl.” she ducks her head down a bit to take a look at his features,

he exhales. “well you know it’s just that i…” he trails off, “never had sex before..”

“what?!” she sounds genuinely surprised. “you’re a virgin?”

he nods, slowly looking up to meet her eyes. “yeah. it’s why i have been so… weird. I’m sorry. i know you expected more from me.”

seeing him get so vulnerable and embarrassed because of that makes her heart break. that’s why he’s been avoiding her touch? god, this man is so precious she feels like she’s going to pass out.

“eddie, you don’t have to be sorry for being … inexperienced. there’s nothing wrong with that. and ‘expected more’? baby, you are already enough for me.” she cradles his face to get him to look at her. “do you think i care about whether you’re a virgin or not? because i don’t.”

“well, you’ve been with those guys before, right? i bet they made you feel good. and i want to do that too. perhaps even better.”

oh her heart is about to leap out of her chest.

“made me feel good? they thought they were doing something. i had to fake it because they barely knew how to do it”. she rolls her eyes, earning a small laugh from him.

“plus, i think it’s cute that no one has ever touched you before.” she giggles, pressing a kiss on his nose,

“well i don’t want to be cute! i want to be hot. for you” he grumbles, frowning like a small child.

“you are, baby” she giggles, even more, shaking her head at this adorable man. “so cute and hot, you make my head spin and panties drop. not a day goes by that i do not think of you”

“you mean that?” his voice small. “because you don’t have to say that just because I’m your boyfriend.”

“i meant every word. do you know how many girls i had to threaten and slammed against the wall for eyeing you? countless.”

“you never told me that…”

“not important” she waves her hand in an attempt to change the subject. “now… how about i make you feel good, hm?”

she moves to put her weight on top of him, putting her legs on either side of his thighs. his heart is beating a mile per minute the moment she sits there. having no idea where to place his hands, he just place them next to her knees.

there’s a twinkle of lust across her eyes, the straps of her blue nightgown falling down her shoulders. long messy hair tucks on the either side of her neck

“but i want to make you feel good too. make you cum on my fingers” he struggles to say each word when her hand begins to untie the strings of his sweatpants.

“we have plenty of time to do that, but … i think my boyfriend deserves it more. don’t you think?”

“well... only if you want to” he's being shy, cheeks red and it drives her mad how cute he's being with her

“of course, i want to.” his pants are pulled now down on his thighs and his cock springs free. “would you let me take care of you?”

he nods frantically, becoming putty underneath her bedroom eyes as she slowly wraps her soft palm around the base of his hard shaft. eddie had never thought her eye contact is strong enough to make his body tremble.

“f-fuck, sweetheart” he blows a sigh of pleasure when she goes down to lick the tip, humming to herself when she finally got a taste of him,

he watches every move she makes. afraid that if he misses just one second, he will regret it. it still doesn't feel real to him. having the prettiest girl in Hawkins as his girlfriend going down on his cock. with a sweet, innocent look decorating her features, enough to make him cream already. but he's holding it.

dear god, he's trying to hold it.

”not even halfway through but you taste so good to me already” she smiles with her tongue still out, he catches a glimpse of her piercing and almost lets out a moan. ”and you have been hiding this from me? not nice”

the minute she slips his cock into her mouth, he's a goner already. brown eyes lulling onto the back of his head with a soft grunt following. she drags her tongue slowly from the base of his shaft, all the way up before closing her mouth around the reddening tip. keeping her eyes on him as she goes, who seems to be having a hard time trying to compose himself.

a devilish smile appears on her face, and her freshly manicured hand reaches out to give his balls a soft squeeze. he flinches at the sudden contact, groaning and moaning when she works on her tongue around him.

”does that feel good, eds?” she checks on him to make after pulling her mouth off. making sure he’s enjoying every moment. coating the tip with her spit before she spreads it with her thumb, ”like having my mouth on you?”

he can only nod to answer, his body is consumed by too much euphoria to give her a verbal response. chest raising with a heavy breath every time her fingers tip-toeing over the sensitive skin. balling his fists so hard, he wouldn't be surprised if his fingernails create a dent in his palms,

”use your words, come on” she moves her hand up and down the stiff flesh with a soft grip, watching his mouth fall open.

”fuck yes. it feels so good b-baby please... don't stop, please” he begs in between breaths, almost sounding like a squeak. eddie finally opens up his eyes to gaze back at her. giving her, his best pleading look, ”i wanted your mouth for so long”

”good boy” with that, she slides his cock back into her wet mouth. while her other hand runs up and down his thigh, sending a light shiver down his spine and arising goosebumps on his skin

eddie's fingers are curling up against the sheets. a strangled noise leaving his throat when the sight of her breasts almost spilling out from the dress. looking like a proper porn star.

he thinks he might actually pass out from this. the velvety insides of her mouth make his head spin and her tongue never seemed to stop teasing the tip. his legs are tense and she can see it from the corner of her eye. she’s taken by surprise when his hips accidentally bucking up, hitting the back of her throat.

”shit, s-sorry about that, sweetheart” he softly tells her, earning a squeeze on his thigh from her as a reassurance that it's okay.

he feels his body is blazing. he can't exactly describe it but it feels so good. pure bliss blooms inside of him when she continues to bob her head up and down. and fuck, eddie doesn't want to cum just yet. but he can't take it anymore. not when she peers up at him through her lashes, still with that innocent look on her face. or when she reaches out to squeeze his heavy balls of cum.

it gets even more harder when she sinks further, moaning around his cock because the sweet, sweet taste of him is creating an excitement that bubbles in her stomach

“f-fuck, fuck. i'm cumming” he rushes, thinking that she might pull away but she only wraps her lips tighter around him. sucking even harder until he releases it all. thick, white string of cum falling in her mouth and painting her tongue. eddie cries out in pleasure, screwing his eyes shut.

his fingers slowly start to loosen the grip around the sheets, his breath going steady, and relaxes both his legs.

she pops off of him, brushing a finger in the corner of her mouth to swipe his remaining. not wanting it to go to waste. “you're so adorable” with a giggle, she plops herself next to him, “how was it?”

“fucking amazing” he laughs breathlessly, rubbing his face up and down with his hands before facing her. a lopsided smile tugging her lips. ”god you were so good with it, I thought I was going to die”

“never heard that one before” she snickers playfully, making herself comfortable underneath the duvet. cuddling up to him. “you tasted so good too, what's the secret?”

he pretends to think while pulling herself close to him. “cheerios and cigarettes”

she swats his chest with the back of her hand, making him laugh. ”I'm gonna make you some real food. my man needs to have the stamina if he's planning to fuck me with his cock.”

he freezes, leaning back slightly to take a good look at her face to see if she's pulling his leg. “what?”

“you heard me.” her voice is stern but also playful. “you're gonna fuck me into oblivion and I will guide you through it if I have to. and we're not stopping until you make both of my legs shake that i can’t fucking walk to school tomorrow.”

eddie is certain he's in heaven right now

[askdacast]

Life Series SMP/Eyes and Ears AU Thematic Discussion + Theorycrafting (pt. 1)

WARNING: Extremely long post

Kachow what’s poppin fellas, I’m back at it again talking about boomer block Youtubers and their surprisingly in-depth improv series. Now that the Life Series’ 5th season has finally concluded, I’m back on the lore train and poor Scar is left to suffer the consequences, and Martyn’s concluded yet another lore stream, I decided to compile a long master post of lore notes and theories about what we have so far.

Obviously all the ‘lore’ of the Life Series is purely unofficial; Grian has not approved any of it as being actually official/set in stone for what he intended the series to be. Most of it has been us in the crazy fandom extrapolating their really good storytelling, and also “semi-canonized” by Martyn in what he calls the Eyes and Ears AU (and this post assumes you are familiar with it). As someone who’s been a fan since the beginning way back in 3rd Life, I’ve pretty much hopped on the lore train since the beginning as well (if casually) and enjoying all the different extrapolations/analysis/angst written around the players. Rather than just theorizing lore details in a vacuum, however, I’ve always liked imagining the lore based around the reoccurring themes, symbolism and arcs we’ve seen across the series. I’d been bouncing my various thoughts and theories around these themes for a while, and finally I decided to compile my notes together.

This post is basically my imagining what the Life Series/Eyes and Ears AU story is “about,” as if it were a fleshed-out, long-running and story-driven tv show. Initially this post started as simply a gigantic “Eyes and Ears Theory,” me trying to sus out my own theories/ideas of what the Life Series’ mysteries were based on Martyn’s lore. However, considering that Martyn is ALSO writing the lore on the fly, and I have some details I would interpret differently or change, this ended up less a ‘theory’ and more ‘me writing an entire AU/interpretation of the Life Series as a whole.’ My intention is NOT to ‘correct’ Martyn’s lore, nor to claim my theory as the ‘right’ interpretation; rather, this is my personal interpretation of what the Life Series story is about, based on information shown in the original SMP and in Martyn’s AU.

One last disclaimer: I am ONLY drawing on lore details from the Life Series, Martyn’s lore streams, and Minecraft EVO, and also references to the iRL creators. I am not drawing on any story from other SMPs such as Pirates or Empires; there may be some Hermitcraft references here and there.

This is going to be very long, and a multi-parter, because I can’t summarize to save my life. And I promise I’ll come up with a proper name for my series of posts another time. If you’ve stuck around to read, I thank you.

Part 1: The Overall Plot + Understanding the Watchers

Recap of official lore details

Although Martyn hasn’t given specific details on the Watcher + Listener species (he hasn’t come up with a name yet), we know the following details for sure (from EVO, lore streams etc.)

Watchers + Listeners + The Council are all deity-like beings of the same species, and they all consume human emotions

The Council are the upper ranks/possibly leaders, whereas the Watchers + Listeners are separate factions

The Watchers are at LEAST two high-ranking members of the species (the two dots being outcast from the wider circle, as is their logo)

The Watchers were behind Minecraft EVO, where they gave all the players tasks (much like Secret Life) and eventually ending in them fighting the Ender Dragon separately

While the Watchers may not have been evil in EVO, they certainly became so AFTER, when they began to crave more negative human emotions, viewing them as “tasty” (Martyn’s words), s p i c y

They first kidnapped Grian at the end of EVO season 1, turning him into a Watcher to possibly have him join their ranks, but he’s gone rogue after realizing what their plans for the Life Series were, and plans to rescue his friends from them

The Life Series was the Watchers’ ploy to trap the players in an infinite death game where they betray and cause each other pain, all to harvest their negative emotions. Grian, in defiance to this, takes control as the ‘game master’ to make the whole thing…well, a game, so that his friends can enjoy, have fun and ease their anguish. In Martyn’s words, this is like “pouring ketchup all over the Watchers’ sundae.”

The Listeners (EVO season 2) are an opposing faction to the Watchers who disagree with their methods, although why is unknown. They’ve attempted to contact some players (e.g. Jimmy) before back in EVO in order to oppose the Watchers, but it’s not known how successful they were. They’ve also tried to swap in players in the Life Series before (e.g. subbing Lizzie and Gem for Pearl and Cleo in Lim. Life) in order to sneak them in and try to subvert the game. The Watchers kidnapping Gem for Secret Life is partially in retaliation to the Listeners. The Listeners may not be good and may have nefarious intentions also, it is as yet still unknown.

There’s potentially a third faction, the Speakers, but very little is known about them and Martyn doesn’t want to elaborate on them yet.

Okay, but what are the Watchers even after?

"Accept your fate."

From here on out is my real conjecturing/theorizing. The main question on my mind has been why are the Watchers doing what they’re doing? Obviously Martyn has confirmed that they are malicious deities who find negative human emotions tasty, but this raises further questions. Why exactly do they desire such emotions, or need them to survive (if they do, anyway)? Why do they favour negativity, when the other members of their species consume a wide range of emotions? They were confirmed to be outcast in some way from the other factions for this ploy, so what does that say about them then?

The whole species fundamentally do not understand human emotions (or perhaps do not even possess them)

This seems to me the most logical conclusion. These are powerful deities who can create miniature worlds/dimensions, life, and time to an extent (death loop). They should theoretically be self-sufficient, so I doubt that their consumption of human emotion is for survivability reasons (i.e. I don’t think Watchers will literally die if they don’t consume emotions, the same way humans die without food). What seems more likely is that human emotions bring them some benefit to their intelligence or power that they’d otherwise be quite non-functional without. (Think like the demons in The Promised Neverland, who regress to feral natures/lack of sapience if they don’t eat humans)

The Watchers’ powers and their lab-rat experimentation on the players gives a huge vibe of not being able to understand human emotions in an involved way, but only from a distance. They know methodically things like murder and betrayal cause panic and anguish, so they enforce these experiences through the game, mechanics like the Boogeyman, the Secret Tasks etc. But they don’t really know internally why these emotions come about the way humans do. Being above time, they probably don’t understand why the funny small animals have so much attachment to their transitory experiences and memories (more on this later).

world's angriest pumpkin

The Watchers are Losers, Actually

Going further, don’t you think the Watchers have a very misanthropic mindset all around? “Anguish and panic are s p i c y.” They conversely have a complete disgust for positive emotions, and can’t stand Grian making things fun for everybody. It almost feels like they have the mindset that only things like hatred and fear are exciting, bringing motivation and life to the humans, whereas things like happiness and fun are ‘useless’ because they don’t bring about the same results. Let’s also not forget their name – Watchers – and that Martyn’s confirmed them to be symbolically based off us, the audience. It’s almost like a commentary of the worst of the entertainment industry, of an audience who crave watching anything and everything to satisfy their own desires, even at the expense of the privacy and safety of the entertainer. Given the current state of the internet and social media, I don’t think I need to elaborate how awful things can get.

In other words, I believe the main motivation the Watchers are eating humans emotions is because they WANT to understand and ‘take into themselves’ such emotions. I don’t think they’re totally emotionless – Martyn does portray them with moments of glee and anger. But their understanding of emotions is superficial (self-centered, if you will) at best. As deities with no needs, being above time, they have nothing to be afraid of and nothing to feel sad or anguished over. It’s a boring, dull and empty existence. And that’s precisely why they’ve set up the Life Series game: by kidnapping a few humans and putting them through the artificially constructed wringer of panic and betrayal, they think they can create a human farm of such rich, complex and exciting emotions, all for themselves to enjoy at their own pleasure and fill the void they have.

(Listeners’ side note: If all that is the philosophy of the Watchers, it’s probably not difficult to see how/why the Listeners oppose them. The Listeners likely disagree that negative emotions are the most optimal state of humans, and unlike the Watchers do not think human suffering is just tasty popcorn one can eat at one’s pleasure. Their name – Listeners – implies they’re a more sympathetic faction, as in they listen to one’s troubles and heart rather than take delight in suffering at a superficial level. But if they are the same species, it’s very likely they have the same lack of instinctive understanding of human emotions that the Watchers do, and this could cause…problems.)

Why turn Grian?

All this is also why I believe the Watchers kidnapped Grian + turned him into a Watcher in the first place. Firstly, if they were going to concoct their plan to trap humans, they needed a collaborator from the humans in the first place. Secondly, and most importantly, this collaborator was going to be their only direct source of how human emotions work/feel like, and therefore what were the most optimal conditions needed to ensure their death game would generate the most pain and anguish. They picked Grian because he’s always the ‘leader’ of the SMP players, the person gathering and organizing everyone, so logically, he is the most ‘representative’ of the humans, and the one with the greatest ability to control them.

Of course, it’s also true that Grian was a little $#@% throughout EVO and actively rebelled against the Watchers’ tasks, so making him their collaborator might seem strange. Ignoring the meta reason that the ending was written to explain Grian’s exit from the series. But I figured in this case, they considered the benefits more than the costs. Grian’s chaotic nature is not unlike the Watchers’, considering how much he loves causing pranks and trouble to others. So, as a huge oversight, they think Grian is just like them: he loves to see people suffer, so they think. Additionally, the Watchers are desperate to understand how Grian gets his fellow humans to follow him and do what he asks with little effort. You’ll notice the Watchers have very direct, authoritative ways of trying to wrest control (e.g. the tasks, “do this or you fail”), and they get very petty and upset when people rebel against them (re: Scott’s refusal to be the Boogeyman, their motto is a very demanding “OUR WILL BE DONE.”) They see Grian’s charisma as yet another aspect of human emotions they fail to understand and thus WANT to possess for themselves.

Pictured above: The Watchers, coping and seething

Of course as we know, the Watchers believing Grian would help them is a major oversight. Becoming a god doesn’t just fundamentally change who Grian is, and he definitely doesn’t want to consign his friends to an infinite death loop of suffering. That being said, I don’t think Grianhas truly gone ‘rogue’ so much as taken as much advantage as possible of his ‘deal’ with the Watchers. We can guess the Watchers promised to him some kind of control/leadership over his friends’ circumstances as long as he worked for them, which led to them giving him the keys to the Life Series. In other words, so long as he fulfils their requirements of things being a death game that will generate ‘food’ for them, and lets them revive everyone each loop, he gets to decide how the games go.

And we know exactly what Grian’s done with this: he created the green-yellow-red lives system, he creates a fun gimmick each season, he inserts himself into the game as a player, all to bring out the best and most creative side of his friends rather than the worst. The Boogeyman probably is the only gimmick the Watchers added on their own initiative (re: Martyn’s POV in Last Life) in order to make things more spicy. Probably Grian’s conversation with the Watchers each time goes, “hey, I got an idea on how to bring out the most creative ways for everyone to cause pain in each other, [comes up with some bullcrap justification for the game’s fun mechanics].” I like to think the Watchers were going to make the death games even more vicious, cruel and competitive, but because of Grian’s wrangling he’s convinced them that a slow burn from joy to horror creates better results, and they tolerate it as long as they see him useful.

Memories and Emotions

There is also one BIG detail of the Watchers’ plan I’d like to mention: Martyn claims that the Watchers do NOT erase the players’ memories. At the end of each season, they consume everyone’s emotions so that there’s no more angst/ill will towards each other, and they start each season afresh. The players remember what’s happened in past seasons, but they don’t continue to hold the pain and negative feelings they had towards each other.

I don’t buy this, for numerous reasons.

For one, Martyn has confirmed the Watchers ARE capable of removing people’s memories. The one memory they have outright altered was the ex-EVO players’ (Martyn, Jimmy, BigB etc.) memory of what happened to Grian: they don’t remember that Grian was taken to be turned into a Watcher, and instead remember it as him either going missing or dying after the Ender Dragon fight. All this presumably to not give away the Watchers’ schemes and to ensure they still listen to Grian as if nothing ever happened.

More importantly, however, memories are vital to humanity’s emotional experience and mental health. I am not an expert by any means, but there are studies showing how people with amnesia, PTSD or other conditions affecting memories have flashbacks/emotional reactions to trauma they don’t remember consciously. The Watchers have (supposedly) done something far more simplistic yet fantastic by just eating up everybody’s emotions. All this, even though they see humans as emotion factories, constantly able to generate emotions just by existing, by their ability to draw and create meaning through emotional experiences, and by creating memories – the clearest embodiment of a mortal’s attachment to time (which if you remember, I believe the Watchers have no concept of).

You cannot just tell a human to stop feelingcompletely (under normal circumstances anyway), but especially not if they remember something very very traumatic.

Besides, there ARE clear instances when some of the players remember the events of past seasons and are STILL not over them! Impulse and Tango still being bitter/distrustful after Bdubs betrayed each of them separately, Cleo distrusting BigB for the same reason, Scott referencing Flower Husbands a lot, Pearl feeling betrayed by Cleo/Scott when they supposedly broke up the Gaslight/Gatekeep/Girlboss trio at the start of DL, Bdubs’ “I wanna be your favorite son” in Secret Life, the list goes on. Note that I’ve only listed negative/bittersweet instances; there are plenty more cases of the players remembering past seasons and alliances positively which the Watchers may have ignored. The point is, if the Watchers truly consumed everyone’s emotions to the point of a clean slate, they haven’t exactly been thorough. Nor do I think it’s very conducive for them either – don’t they want players to have enduring, unending, unresolved pain, the sweetest of all (to them)?

No, I think the Watchers HAVE been erasing/suppressing the players’ memories – they’ve just been very selective which ones. Martyn’s said that the Watchers do not care what families or connections they separate so long as they get the people they want and the plans they want. I’m going to assume the players in my theory/the Eyes and Ears AU are exactly the same as their CC counterparts. In other words: they’ve stolen Grian away from his wife. They stole Martyn away from his and his daughter. Ditto with Skizz, Impulse, Tango etc. They stole Scar away from his family. Joel and Lizzie are the only couple they didn’t separate, perhaps because they needed both for their plans, and also so they can inflict the most torture on them by ripping them away from each other, over and over again. And in order to ensure the complete submissiveness of the players to the game, the Watchers have taken away their memories of their past lives, their families, basically anyone who isn’t a fellow player in the game. The Watchers don’t erase the memories of bonds between seasons, because it’s a pain to have to teach the humans how to play all over again, but they erase any memories they find disadvantageous to keeping the game running.

They might even go one step further: while they haven’t erased the players’ memories of who each other are (so as to not cause confusion), they do try to suppress important memories. Things like how they met, the times they confided in each other after a bad day, cried on each other’s shoulder, laughed in each other’s successes, the times they hung out with each other’s families. Imagine the different alliances constantly gravitating to each other, but never being able to remember why they care about each other so much. Imagine Bdubs’ “Come on, you know you and I go way back!” when trying to justify taking Cleo’s stuff, and Cleo laughs back, even though she can’t quite remember what exactly Bdubs has done to warrant that. Imagine Joel or Lizzie trying to remember why they loved each other so much.

They fight and kill some of their friends, and protect others, because…because why again? It’s for survival value, surely, so the Watchers whisper. It’s because the strong must congregate with the strong and leave the weak to die, surely. It’s because Martyn’s always been a loner, and always will be, and should remain so. So they tell him. So they whisper, this is a deathmatch for a reason.

Grian’s Fundamental Rebellion

I think all this is the real reason Grian is rebelling against the Watchers. The most immediate reason is obvious: he wants to free his friends from this death loop. But the deeper reason as to why he’s rebelled is that the Watchers are torturing and robbing his friends of their humanity. They’re taking a tight-knit group of friends who love and would do anything for each other, and turning them against each other in a cruel and unescapable death game. On TOP of this, the Watchers have constantly messed with their heads in order to make them obedient and submissive to their schemes and the worst of their human nature, trapping them in fear, pettiness and paranoia. Of course Grian is upset. Of course he wants to save them from this fate. It’s an insult to who he knows these people to be.

This all leaves Grian in a pretty precarious position. While outwardly the Watchers want to make him a lackey as the “game master”, both he and they know he really wants to save his friends (they probably see it as their ‘cattle’ showing a bit of resistance, which once again they need to suppress). And while on one hand he’s making the games fun to ease his friends’ pain and bring the best out of them, this is just a hotfix rather than a real solution. In order to really rescue the players, Grian’s got to get them to rebel against the Watchers as well. Refuse to play by the rules, by the expectation that they must murder and kill without mercy, without any attachment to their alliances or past friendships. Make everyone like Scott refusing to be the Boogeyman, or Skizz constantly trying to be wholesome (until the bloodlust gets the better of him anyway).

Ironically in order to achieve this, Grian’s best bet is to try to jog everyone’s lost memories of each other and the things they lost, both good and bad. But ultimately, this is going to make them (in the short term) suffer more. This is where you can insert all your Desert Duo/Flower Husband/whatever alliance you like most angst. But more practically, I like to imagine when “the cameras” are not watching, when Grian knows no one will notice or catch him, he sneaks around to the different alliances, even the ones he’s not part of, to ask them how they’re doing, if they remember anything from the past etc. (in a meta sense, the players edit and cut stuff from their videos all the time; who’s to say he isn’t trying to catch a quick chat while everyone’s mining?!) It also reflects in why Grian is constantly trying to make alliances with different people instead of just gravitate to one person, he needs to check on everyone and capitalize on every single opportunity. (besides the meta reason, being that cc!Grian wants to be creative, and sticking to the same person all the time isn’t very entertaining from a content creator perspective)

One last detail about the winners: I don’t have much to say about the fragments yet, because Martyn (sneaky boi) hasn’t yet revealed the significance of the fragments nor of their healing, although he has hinted Bad Things™ will happen if a player gets too fragmented. But I do think the winners are important: with the game finished, they give Grian a very short window of time to talk to one person directly, without Watcher interference. They’re always the last to be killed/swept away/revived by the Watchers, and I can imagine there’s a brief period of time when their souls are being transferred to The Void w/e where Grian can step in and interfere. In my theory, Grian passes on some sort of clue/push to the winners, as like a subtle message about what they can do to stand up to the Watchers. I’ll detail on what I think these individual messages were in part 2. Needless to say, 3rd Life was a traumatic experience for Grian for many reasons, but the nail in the coffin was the fact that he won, and therefore there was no way for him to pass a message onto anyone.

Conclusion

Hooooooo jeepers that was long @A@; Thank you so much for your patience reading this if you made it to the end, I really appreciate it. As I said, I’ve had these lore ideas bouncing in my head for a LONG time, and with the end of Secret Life I couldn’t get out of my head the different trends/symbolism that was popping out of an improv series. It honestly speaks a lot to how genius our favorite block dudes are at improv, that they can turn their improv nonsense into a coherent narrative. I really wanted to try my hand at fleshing out such a narrative, and with Martyn constantly drip-feeding lore to the fans, I had more than enough material to not just put out guesses but construct something a full XYZ. As I mentioned, I enjoy workshopping themes and characters a LOT more than just worldbuilding or “what if this or that” details in a vacuum, hence why I’ve written all that I have, so this was a fun exercise for me all around!

Next time in part 2 I talk about Character Development™, or character specific notes and details I’ve noticed and extrapolated from what we’ve seen of each individual player, as well as what their different arcs across the seasons mean for them within the lore. Stay tuned for another wordbarf!

Bonus list of works I was inspired by for this loredump:

Log Horizon

The Promised Neverland

Danganronpa (ironic as I’m not really a fan of this franchise, but the first game has an otherwise solid premise which I found really similar to the Life Series)

The Fate franchise (when Martyn asked “what’s Fate?” on the latest lore stream, let me tell you I couldn’t stop laughing; NO MARTYN DON’T GO INTO THE WEEB RABBIT HOLE)

Various amazing animatics from the Traffic fandom: Earth, Bang!, most of Melloz Heist’s works, and of course all the amazing fanart

Way too many conversations with my friends about fantasy species

[the1975attheirverybest]

TEN YEARS

A/N: Since it's looking like we won't be getting a livestream of the Leeds show tonight, and since I have a crazy few days coming up starting tomorrow, I wanted to post a little something to keep y'all happy while I get my schedule together and to also celebrate ST and last night! short, sweet, no plot, just vibes.

Warnings: none, except maybe typos (i have no clue where my glasses are)

----

She could hear her heartbeat in her ears despite the chattering crowds all around her. "Excuse me- could I just" mumbling apologies as she squeezed past the masses of giddy, sweaty, emotional, and excited fans. She could blame the ones who were struggling to keep from crying, or the ones who were immediately recounting the events they'd just witnessed onstage for fear of their memories eroding as the night came to a close, or maybe to make sure that what they'd experienced was actually real, that other people saw it too. In fact, she felt the same way and would've wanted to stick around and take it all in, if it weren't for her insatiable desire to lay her hands on Matty as soon as humanly possible.

She felt the butterflies flutter in her stomach, her anticipation and impatience spurred on by the glimpses and fragments of conversation that reached her ears from people around her.

"He looked so good in that leather jacket-" someone behind her had observed.

"I'm glad he took it off though. Cuz, arms? hello!"

somewhere from the center of the crowd, an overstimulated, antsy woman yelled out,

"but can we talk about Ross's hair?! I love him."

"I mean, I knew they weren't going to play antichrist, cuz Matty is evil, but at least give us fallingforyou?"

"bro, no matter what he does, you're never happy. he can't win at this point."

"ten years! it's been ten years! 2014 me, scrolling black and white tumblr would lose her shit if he could see this."

the smile that had plastered across her face grew wider with every comment she overheard. Though the walk to the backstage area wasn't long earlier in the day, when she'd wandered around, watching the backline tech and the crew set things up, right now, it felt miles away. Finally, too impatient to do things responsibly, she jumped the safety barrier and landed on the other side. giggling to herself as she sprinted to find the boys.

Her airy giggles broke into a fit of laughter when she spotted the four of them, dress in all black, huddled into a corner, whispering and laughing like children. Matty turned around at the clomping of her footsteps, a grin on his face.

"Babe-" was all he'd managed to say before she'd jumped into his arms with the full force of her body, laughing uncontrollably into his ear as she panted, breathless.

Matty's arms wrapped around her waist, picking her up, off the floor, and spinning around in circles, giggling until they were both dizzy.

"You- you did it!" was the first thing she could think to say, still out of breath and heaving, she pressed her lips to his, clumsily crashing into him. Her feet unsteady, and her head still dizzy, she chuckled when their teeth collided.

Remnants of Matty's aftershave still clung to his shirt. She could taste the cigarettes he'd smoked onstage and the drink he'd sipped on. She buried her face into him for a moment, leaning her body against his as she came down from the adrenalin high, then, with her feet firmly on the ground, she turned to face the boys.

"Congratulations! how're we feeling?"

chatter broke out again as they interrupted each other, answering her questions, describing the view from the stage, George boasting that his drum riser was the best spot up there, and Matty, restless as ever, re-enacting his moves.

"Ross, I, um, have some news." she looked up into his eyes, a gentle hand pressed on top of his. "Two people were injured, five lost consciousness. Your hair killed the entire front row." Ross's initial concern gave way to an innocent laugh, his head tilted upwards, his pearlescent smile drawing a dimple on his cheek.

"He knows, he knows." Adam patted Ross's back prompting Matty to reach over and pull the hair tie out of ross's hair. "glorious lions mane. He does it for the ladies."

***

She couldn't help but smile against the soft fabric of Matty's hoodie, clinging to him harder and letting her body sway along with his as he danced to the Killer's song from the side of the stage.

"Sorry, I'll calm down." Matty whispered down to her.

"No, no! Please don't. I love it when you like the music."

Hw wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her body against his and moving them both to the rhythm of the music.

"Matty? You happy?" she looked up at his eyes and saw his answer before he even spoke.

"So happy."

"Good. I mean, you looked like you were having fun up there."

"'course I was. I mean, we used to come here as kids-"

George laid a hand on his shoulder squeezing it lightly, "oh, here it comes." playfully rolling his eyes.

"same old story." Ross mumbled.

"oh about how he came to Reading instead of picking up exam results?" Adam giggled.

Matty laughed, telling them to fuck off, before looking back down at her. "Yeah, I'm happy."

"And you get to do it all again tomorrow." she planted a kiss on his cheek.

"I know. How lucky am I?"

[linkspooky]

I'm out of touch with the manga, but how come Dabi's fate is so cruel and bad?

Your guess is as good as mine. My speculation is that Hori changed his endgame plans three times. At first Hori planned on killing Endeavor early during the high-end battle.

 "Truthfully, Endeavor was supposed to die during the 6th season, but when I was drawing the High-End battle in Kyushu, I decided to delay that. Maybe because of that impact, there was a little delay after the High-End battle..."

At this point you can tell that Hori didn't think of how keeping Endeavor alive would effect the endgame plot, because Endeavor's arc remains stagnant since the Pro-Hero arc. He basically doesn't do anything, but is kept alive on the promise that he will eventually do something to atone. My guess is Hori simply didn't plan far ahead enough to think the point he wanted Endeavor's arc to end at.

In the original scenario me and class1akids speculated together that since Enji wasn't going to be there, Shoto using Phosphor would actually work to take down Dabi non-lethally and the confrontation would end there.

The second change is because Hori kept Endeavor alive, he needed to make it so Enji and Dabi had a final confrontation, but because he also made the choice to have Enji fight AFO instead, the battle had to be split into two parts with the finale being Enji and Dabi's confrontation.

This second change is what resulted in the horrific burning off of Dabi's skin. If not for this change then likely we would have got an ending where Shoto visits Dabi either in prison or in rehabilitation like Rei, and that's the first step to Dabi's recovery paralleling the end of the Tournament Arc.

The third time is that it's clearly foreshadowed that Toya would eventually be able to sit down at the dinner table, and Shoto would ask him his favorite food. Enji has a dream about his family eating dinner together and wants Toya to be there too, Natsuo once mentions he doesn't know Shoto's favorite food, much much later this prompts Shoto to think about Toya's food and declare he'll make him sit down and eat Udon.

What we got instead was Dabi in an iron coffin on life support, with his family just expressing their condolences and getting to say their goodbyes in the short time Dabi has left.

I have no idea why this change was made. Maybe to pander to a part of the fandom that loved Enji's redemption arc, but despised Dabi because of all of the trouble he caused his family. Either way it's very weird, because it's not just killing each character off. It's subjecting them to these ironic hells like it's the twilight zone. Toga wanted to know if the heroes would save her or they'd kill her like twice, the answer is no and they'd just put her in prison so she kills herself. Shigaraki was afraid that he was born evil and wasn't in control of his life, AFO reveals to him that apparently AFO controlled his entire life from the beginning, and then Deku kills him and he dies having destroyed nothing meaning his life was indeed meaningless. Dabi's greatest fear was that he was a born failure, his life meant nothing, his death was unmourned and his family moved on without him. Well, now Dabi is going to die in a life support machine with no skin that looks like the torture devices from hellraiser, slowly, painfully, only able to be conscious a few minutes a day and his family is just going to move on without him.

This isn't just "the villains have to die to atone for their sins" this is like Hori specifically torturing them for the audience and also insisting they brought their suffering upon themselves for not wanting to atone like Hawks, Endeavor, Lady Nagant and Gentle and therefore are disqualified from being human in the end.

[surachibee]

if you’ve been following a lot of my recent stuff, you’ve probably noticed (or maybe you haven’t, idk!) that I’ve been tagging a few art posts as ‘pitverse’. You’ve also probably noticed that I’ve provided no context to these posts what-so-ever! and that sucks! So to explain a bit, I present:

”surachi what the heck is pitverse”

Okay, first. ‘Pitverse’ is a working title. Maybe. It’s cheesy, but I kinda like it because it’s cheesy.

Anyways, if you’ve been following me for a while, you may or may not remember this art where I designed a bunch of pits that were loosely based on the different ending to the original Kid Icarus on the NES. Some took influence from different places (eg. the solider ending heavily drawing inspiration from Kid Icarus: of Myths and Monsters) and some were completely made up (eg. the farm ending’s design). It was fun! And it pretty much started this whole idea to begin with.

I’d draw some stuff here and there for it, but other than that I never really did much with the idea other than ‘oh hey look designs’. That is until it came up again a couple years later when I started to get *really* into oMaM stuff, which led to me coming back to the idea of a weird multiverse thing.

Thanks to a few friends, we talked about it and eventually it became like a four-swords adventure multiverse labyrinth thing. Pandora’s Labyrinth times twelve. So as it is right now, it’s like a hypothetical game where some new *evil big bad* takes a handful of Pits from different universes/timelines and plops them into some pocket dimension of different levels and challenges, and together, they have to find out what the heck going on.

Right now, I think I’m gonna try to keep it to three Pits for simplicity sake. Obviously, Pit from Kid Icarus: Uprising has to be here, that’s our guy. He’s also the protagonist! He’s left relatively unchanged in this AU. This also takes place in a post-game setting, so he’s already fought Hades. This applies to the other guys as well, even if their hypothetical “games” and adventures aren’t actually real (Factor) or heavily rewritten (Myth) here.

Good news is that Uprising Pit can still communicate with Palutena! But he’s the only one out of the bunch that can. (Would’nt that have been nice? Imagine all the work you could get done with THREE Palutenas [haha reference]). In this AU’s logic, Uprising’s world in the pocket-dimension what-ch-ma-have-it space is closer to the one where this takes place, so (Uprising) Palutena is able to establish a decent enough connection to at least communicate, though it’s not the best. The other Pit’s worlds are further away, so communication with their respective realms are off the table. This also causes other problems like occasionally “bugging out” and forgetting stuff since they’re so far from their original worlds. So Uprising Pit got kinda lucky.

Speaking of other Pits, there’s other Pits! Both of them draw inspiration from things previously done/involved in the franchise so they’re not entirely made up, but they do stray pretty far from their source material. Anyway..first, we have Factor! He’s heavily inspired by Factor 5’s rendition of Pit from their “Icarus” project back in 2007-2008 that was turned down. Here, this AU’s interpretation of the idea is a little more in line with the franchise’s overall light-hearted and goofy nature. (In this AU the Pit’s are taken from different points in time, so he would’ve been plucked from the future. I did this so 1. They all could look visually distinct from each other, and 2. the thought of Factor going “oh he doesn’t know about [x] yet” or Uprising Pit insisting Myth to NOT go after the wish seed in the future was funny.)

Next…there’s Myth! He’s based on Kid Icarus: of Myths and Monsters, and besides a few plot points he’s pretty much just a modern take on the character. He was easier to pin down because while the concept of Factor’s story was interesting, being banished from the heavens for some unspecified crime, it’s pretty vague in comparison. With Myth, there’s an entire game with a plot to go off of, even if this AU strays a bit from it.

That’s pretty much the basics of this AU! Just a couple of Pits going on an adventure getting into other-worldly shenanigans. I’m having a ton of fun with it and hopefully I can develop the idea more as I go along. Thanks for reading! There’s some extra footnotes and miscellaneous doodles below.

• This AU follows the idea that oMaM takes place in a different timeline than Kid Icarus: Uprising, hence it not being referenced (at least not on purpose, I’m looking at you aurum track accidentally having the same intro motif) or mentioned. Plus y’know, Sakurai not knowing it existed so there’s that. Might as well rework it into a weird explanation. (coping)

• All of these worlds take place in different timelines, so Factor isn’t an older version of Uprising Pit, nor is Uprising an older version of Myth. They’re all still Pit, and all of them have fought Medusa, but it had different outcomes (somewhat based on the endings) and at that point they diverged from each other. • I’ll probably change the naming of the Pits at some point. While they’re good right now, I’m not sure if I wanna keep Factor named after a company. Might have their names based off the titles of their respective games, so instead of “Factor”, “Myth”, and “Uprising” it’d be “Icarus” (based on the project’s internal name), “Myth”, and “Uprising”.

[skitskatdacat63]

Hey, do you remember that really homoerotic scene from Skyfall? No? That's okay, here's a Vettonso version of it :)

- explanation & w/o text:

Hi hello, finally my weird psychosexual relationship with Casino Royale has come to fruition. Yeah this is directly based off a scene from Skyfall, but I def envision the vibe as being more like Casino Royale hehe. I can't believe I made that inspo board for this AU almost 4 weeks ago, and then ended up drawing a four panel "comic" about it. Ahhhh proud of myself, a bit, a tad. I think this took 20+ hours across the span of a week? God. Anyways I digress! The AU!!

First of all, their Bond song would be "My Way of Life" by Frank Sinatra. It's so toxic, codependent and obsessive, I'm in love with it. And it really suits Fernando and his motivations and outlook in this AU. Basically, MI6(in the context of James Bond) in this AU is an analog for Ferrari. It picks theses guys up, tells them that they're Ferrari MI6's most special boy, chews them up, and then spits them out when they're finished extracting all their talent and skill and life force.

Much like with Ferrari, Seb in this AU replaces Fernando after Fernando loses favor and becomes undesirable. Now Seb is the new golden boy, and Fernando has turned to a life of crime! Fernando resents Seb for this of course, but also becomes obsessed with him and the idea of him , and how they are connected. It's weird to watch someone else basically go down your exact same path and unknowingly make all the same mistakes(buying into the mysticism of it all too much, being overly cocky, having naive beliefs and goals, etc.) He is caught between wanting to doom Seb even more but also wanting to "save" him, by corrupting him and convincing him to work together.

Basically: He's both a Bond girl and Bond villain.

Fernando is in such a weird place in this AU. I think he's just very dramatic. Seb is just casually living his best 007(005?) life, and Nando is watching him with binoculars, whispering to himself: "DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE NARRATIVE FOILS!?" Yeah he hates Seb, but like the song lyrics say, their lives and dreams are inherently tied up together. He would feel lost without Seb, because Seb basically, unknowingly, destroyed and then took over his life. Maybe he'll feel satisifed if he manipulates Seb into going down the exact same path a bit better.

About the drawings themselves. Still can't believe this scene is a real thing that actually happened, insane to me. But in this AU, after the events of these drawings, Fernando definitely kicked all his henchman out of the room, and fucked Seb in the chair. And then against the wall. And then on the floor. Hey man, Seb is already looking mighty delicious with his unbuttoned attire and being tied up.

I think the general plot would be that Fernando keeps trying to seduce him to the dark side, and Seb keeps making him think it worked, only to escape at the end of the encounter. Leading Fernando to just come up with increasingly more violent and kinky traps. Seb goes along with it(read: enjoys it), leaving Fernando satisifed, only to somehow escape and wink and make kissy faces at Fernando in the process. (Fernando smoking cigarette in bed: "How do I make him stay. Sigh.")

I like to think though that Fernando does win in the end, by realizing, ah wait shit I do need to actually explain my motivations to Seb. And Seb is so worn down by his job, not Fernando, and how he's being treated, that he listens, really actually listens, and realizes Fernando does really have valid reasons. And then they become evil crime husbands yayyyy. Wow you thought this was a espionage AU? Well it is, but just not the outcome you'd expect.

[judesmoonbeauty]

The Past Records: Ellis & Jude Bonus CG Story

Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do NOT post my translations elsewhere. Also, feel free to ignore my random commentary.

Translation notes are marked with *** Alternate translation is marked with///

Days after the submission of the report on Jude and Ellis by members of the Crown -

Victor: You know why I called you two together, don't you?

Ellis: First assignment for Crown?

Victor: Yes! As expected of Ellis, your ability to understand is a perfect score of 100 points.

Jude: Whether or not I accept depends on the nature of the assignment, though.

Jude: Even if Her Majesty the Queen ordered me to do it, I wouldn't accept an assignment that would be to my detriment.

Jude: I will not kill people unconditionally at the behest of others unless the conditions are satisfactory.

Victor: Ha, I'm well aware that you are that type of person.

Victor: You can wait until you've been briefed before you decide if you're up to the task.

Victor: What about Ellis? Any conditions?

Ellis: My job is to shine shoes, so any mission is fine.

Ellis: If I'm going to kill them, I'd like to kill them at their happiest moment, but I don't think I can say that on a mission.

Ellis: My terms are..... I'd like to at least make sure they don’t suffer, how about it?

Victor: I see. I guess it's possible in some cases that Jude is NG but Ellis is OK. (He didn’t just say NG omg 😭✋🏻)

Victor: Although, I think you will both agree to it this time.

Ellis & Jude: ?

Victor: There was an ex-convict you were taking care of off duty who was trying to make a deal for those drugs, wasn't there?

Victor: His buddies have apparently been released and are plotting to re-offend.  I want you to lure them in and wipe them out.

Ellis: Hmm ..... I didn't know his friends were still around.

Jude: How do we wipe them out….

Victor: I don't care how you do it, as long as you prevent recidivism.

Jude: ……

Victor: Negotiations are concluded, right?

Jude: Yeah, I'll take care of it.

Ellis: I'm good too.

Victor: Good. Okay, then. 

Victor: Loyalty to your evil.

A plume of purple smoke rises from a corner of London Harbor.

Ellis: You should quit smoking. That's what Roger said too.

Jude: It's more convenient to smoke. Kids should shut up.

Ellis: You said you smoke to socialize with a lot of business partners who smoke, but right now you don’t have anyone to socialize with.

Jude: I didn't say I didn't smoke when they weren't around.

Ellis: Jude's "happiest day" is yet to come, and I hope you live a long life.

Suddenly, Ellis broke off.

Immediately after, several men with murderous, bloodshot eyes surrounded the two in the darkness. 

Jude: Why should I live longer for you?

Not caring that he was surrounded, Jude exhaled another cloud of purple smoke without even drawing his weapon. (He’s so badass.)

Ellis: Because, Jude, you hate breaking promises, don't you?

Ellis, still smiling, slowly pulled two knives from his leg sheath.

The moonlight reflects dully on the knife.

Tonight the moon was shining brightly in the clear night sky.

Ellis: The moon is beautiful tonight, too.

Jude: Yeah, I feel like shit.

Ellis: Come to think of it, how should we end up disposing of them? Kill them?

Jude: We're going to hurt him enough to the point of death, and then we're going to restrain them.

Ellis: Copy that.

Man with Bloodshot Eyes: Are you the ones who caught my brother with the drugs and beat him to death?

Man with Bloodshot Eyes: Were you the ones who went out of their way to tell us to come to the harbor at 25:00? 

Man with Bloodshot Eyes: Don't think you'll get out of here alive!

Starting with each of the leaders who jumped out, the men rushed in.

Ellis: I'm sorry, but it's our job to lure you in  and wipe you out.

Ellis: You're the ones who won't make it out alive.

Ellis: Oh, but don't worry, I won't kill you right now.

Ellis: You might be happier to die here, but ..... 

The game was easily settled.

Ellis: Is this all of them?

Jude: The number of people on the list is 13. The number of pieces of trash lying around is 2, 4, 6……..13.

Ellis: All of them.

Man with Bloodshot Eyes: What are you gonna do to us?... Ugh!

Jude sits down on the man's back and the crushed man lets out a muddled scream. 👌🏻 

Jude: What a loud piece of trash.

Jude: Well, it's natural to be concerned about what will happen to you if you lose your bodily freedom.

Jude: I'm going to ask my brothers to help me with the experiment.

Man with Bloodshot Eyes: Hic….experiment?

Jude: You may go blind or become a little demented, but you rarely lose your life.

Jude: Compared to the people who were drugged and killed by you, that’s a hell of a lot better isn’t it?

Man with Bloodshot Eyes: Hey, hey, please...

Ellis: Poor thing….

Ellis: I need to help Jude be happy, so I can't ….help you. Sorry.

Jude's hand touched the man's forehead, and the man whirled around and lost consciousness.

Ellis: I hope this brings you a little closer to your happiness Jude. 

Ellis: Come to think of it, this was my first mission with you Jude.

Jude: What?

Ellis: It's no different from what you normally do.

Jude: Idiot? Things are different.

Ellis: ?

Jude: Besides the fact that we can torture them, we’ll get paid for the mission.

Ellis: Jude, you look really bad…..

Jude: You're so noisy. If you've got time to waste, throw these guys in the wagon.

Ellis: Yes.

Victor: Hmmm...thanks for the report! From what I've read, it sounds like it was a smooth first mission.

Victor: So you can say that I was a good judge of people!

Jude: Don't look at me, your face is annoying.

Victor: That’s terrible.

Ellis: I'm glad it went well. I think I can handle more missions like this in the future, Victor.

Victor: You guys really are opposites……I think I'll call you the candy and whip duo.

Victor: By the way, as for the "disposal" of the criminal group, it was mentioned that all of them were killed.

Victor: You actually took them in for some kind of interesting research, didn't you?

Jude: !

Ellis: You noticed. How?

Victor: I'll keep that part a secret, I guess. But you don't have to lie in your report. I'm the one who entrusted you with the mission.

Victor: As long as you stay true to your evil, I'm fine with that.

Jude: How much do you know about this?

Victor: I only know what I can see on the surface. You all headed there on foot, but a horse-drawn carriage left the scene.

Victor: I heard that in addition to the Crown Castle, your workplace, and your clients, there is another facility of some kind that you frequent.

Jude: You've got spies all over England, pervert!

Jude: Out of all Crown members, you’re the one I know least about. 

Victor: Haha, that's not true. I’m a simple person.

Ellis: Simple?

Victor: I’m a man who will do anything to protect your freedom.

Victor: But I can't see into your hearts. So I'd be happy to learn more from you in the future.

Victor: I'm talking about your favorite type, your hobbies, your three sizes, and so on!

Ellis: …………….

Jude: I gotta go to work, Ellis.

Victor: Don’t ignore me! That hurts!

Victor: Hehe.

Victor: How very Crown-worthy, aren’t you? I'm so glad you've joined us.

Victor: Hopefully, the crown will shine above your heads as well!

[Master List]

[maxiemumdamage]

If it wasn’t clear I finally read Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes.

And I’m…mystified? By the criticisms of it which I had already seen plenty of before reading the actual book. Most complaints were about 1. pacing, 2. the POV character being a whiny brat/already evil, and 3. the overdramatic nature of everything. I’m not even gonna touch on that last thing, because people have always said it about the Hunger Games and it’s never been as true as they want it to be (the “Baby Bomb” in Catching Fire and Reaper’s moment with the flag come to mind, but there’s plenty of examples).

But like…I saw complaints that it took too long for the plot to pick up, but I was enthralled from the beginning. The ending was very harried and kinda rushed, sure, but that was also sort of the point — Coriolanus has a breakdown in the woods and in doing so goes past the point of no return with Lucy, so he returns to the Capitol and becomes the dictator we all know. It might've felt more jarring if I hadn't known that was how it would end, but...we all knew going in there was no way Coriolanus Snow and Lucy Gray Baird would run away and live in the woods together. Because before we ever knew Coryo, we knew President Snow. We knew where he'd end up.

I feel most of those complaints were rooted in the fact people always expect the Hunger Games books to be about...the Hunger Games. They view it like they're in the Capitol, like the Games themselves are the entertainment and focus and point of the story. They’re not, even when we’re reading about the creation of the Games as they became what they were in canon. The Games were never the point — it was about the people and world that created them. I went in expecting a post-war climate, and the saga of how a clever, manipulative young man worked his way into power, and as such I was immensely satisfied. This is about Snow becoming the cruel person we know, with some of his worst qualities being there from minute one and others taking time to be built or reinforced.

My biggest gripe is the romance. Yep, SnowBaird, the huge draw for every TikTok Songbirds and Snakes movie fan, just felt so out of place to me when it happened in the book. Lucy just got out of a romantic relationship that bit her in a truly spectacular fashion. But ok, sure. She's desperate, pretty much completely alone, and Coriolanus is very kind and supportive in his actions and she can't hear his self-serving and obnoxious internal monologue.

Coriolanus, though...I never understood why he seemed to be in love with her. He has a grudging almost-respect for Lucy Gray that he doesn't give anyone else, but I figured that was more because she demonstrated her cunning and talents where he could dismiss most others. She’s a performer, she’s got talent and poise, she’s forced to win people over (like him! (it’s not. his life never depended on it in the violent and final way hers did)).

And maybe it was necessary, that Snow thinks he’s in love. Because it’s at the core of the possessiveness, the jealousy, that colors so many of his interactions with Lucy. He has to be in love, so we can assign meaning or justifications to his actions. And then he tidily betrays everyone he supposedly loved, and it becomes clearer he’s only ever cared about himself.

And in general, I rarely understand romantic plots. And especially here, the point isn’t romance. It’s trust. Trust Coriolanus fails to extend to practically everyone, and it’s ultimately why he can’t make a better choice than to run back to the Capitol and Gaul.

[poreyneel]

i was thinking about ur Durge x Gortash x Gale art, and its dynamic implications, and i thought of a slightly different version i thought youd like to hear,

Gortash x Gale x Tav

Hear me out, SPOILERS OF COURSE

Gale is torn between being Gale Dekarois, the man who loves his cat and learning, and being Gale of Waterdeep, the powerful wizard who was proud and strong enough to draw the goddess of magic herself, and who better to represent those desires then Enver & Tav?

Devilish Enver who hungers for control and power, whispering promises in his ear, of ruling together, of all his dark desires fufilled, of controlling the crown, because who needs the absolute when they themselves ascend to godhood?

Darling Tav who is sweet and charming, risking everything to save everyone, who accepted every piece of him, who would stand in defiance, who'd refused to compromise with evil and come out on top every time, who has given him hope and unconditional love.

i totally ranted for much longer then i meant lol but i am just very passionate

OMG THAT'S INTERESTING and I thought about them too!! thank you!! before I go to Tav x Gale x Gortash let's talk why I started all of this with Gale x Gortash (but it's with avatar Gale most likely bc there he can do literally what he wants bc we're controlling him lmao) so, it's literally a dynamic between two chosen - Bane already desired Mystra's power so in Gale's "I wanna reforge the Crown and ascend" corruption arc an alliance with Gortash can be useful to take her down their relationship is not about love, it's about partnership and world domination (because if players don't try to convince Gale to throw his ambition his root is an attempt to become a new god) and yes, the plot leads to a different outcome, but i love making different scenarios so it's like a trade offer - Gortash gets the opportunity to implement his plan, and Gale gets a strong ally to try to take revenge on Mystra and get rid of the sphere it's more about partners in crime again than feelings ig but we all know that in the canon this ambition does not end with anything good for one or the other but their duet would be truly catastrophic, provided that Gortash knows perfectly well what to put pressure on and what to say so, back to the Gortash x Gale x Tav: Gale is very easy to manipulate - Mystra has been doing this for a long time, we can do the same and Gortash, a specialist in manipulation, especially. Gale becomes attached very quickly, he doesn't like himself so much that he is ready for literally anything for the sake of those who give him attention. Gortash can take an advantage of it. My Tav - bard named Nayris Sterr - the absolute opposite of both Gale and Gortash. He doesn't need power even in theory of ascending and blah blah blah, he just wants to tell a story - and fate decides what it will be. For Gale, Nayris is a guiding light, he never judges him, but sees when something goes wrong. He knows people too well, especially their psychology and behavior - and he will not press if he sees traces of some kind of trauma. And even despite Gale's good intentions, he knows that the option of using the crown will not lead to good outcome. History should not repeat itself (yeah Karsus hello!!). And this is the first person to accept him for who he really is, not who he tries to become. Their relationship is about mutual help and understanding, even though Nayris is not a wizard and not Mystra's chosen one, he is still the same person who just wants to help Gale remember that he's a human being at the first place and he matters. He really matters - and not only to him. Gale has gone through a lot of pain, especially the trauma of the abandoned. The fact that he always wants to prove something - but he does not need to prove it and Nayris will let him know.

But what if he just won't listen? Or if the bard says something wrong and Gale realizes that their connection is not so strong as he thought. After meeting with Gortash and information about the crown - Nayris is categorically against it - he could certainly go his own way. In the canon, he is quite loyal due to affection and feelings, but what if the realization came to him that he is free to do whatever he wants? Their bond would be about obsession, trust and disastrous consequences. Gale is dependent on Mystra, in love with Tav (Nayris) but sees potential and ambition in Gortash. whether the desire to take revenge on Mystra and become a deity or the awareness of attachment to a single person will prevail - who knows

[abnerkrill]

Nik! Did you watch Rebel Moon? How was it?

Yes hello this is my 4 star review of rebel moon on letterboxd.

But first: a professional, somewhat critical review of rebel moon that engages with the film well, especially regarding anti-colonial themes, and isn't just knee-jerk regurgitated Snyder haterism:

And now more of my thoughts: [edit: Oh No, He Went And Talked For 3 Hours About It, Thanks For Coming To My TedTalk:)

No one has a better knack at putting together a cast list SO ATTRACTIVE TO THE BISEXUALS. read it and weep, boys. (Jena Malone is there too but really just for 1 set piece)

...Jena Malone's one (1) scene set piece features her as an alien spider woman with legitimate grievances against the Empire who now wants to kill kids because all her kids were killed. Like, so valid, girl. Also, did I say Jena Malone as an alien spider-woman? And this is just one scene.

Look, if that pitch doesn't hook you, this film may not be for you, and that's okay, but by GOD my people are the people who hear "Jena Malone alien spider woman" and perk up. I love you, freaks.

The cinematography is ace and always will be under Snyder's direction. music by Tom Holkenborg SLAPS. Costuming and design overall is super super strong. (People on this hellsite are always complaining about inadequate, boring as hell sci-fi design and you get RM and you don't appreciate it for what it is. WAKE UP.)

Costume showcase! Second from the right in this photo showing off those sweet sweet sci-fi costume designs is my beloved non-binary they/them revolutionary Milius. CANONICALLY non-binary, let me add. Imagine SW doing that lmaoooooooooooo D*ve Filoni would fuckin keel over and die

Kora! Our tragic female protagonist of color who's over 40, with a dark edgy sexy background. [KIDNAPPED AS A CHILD!! DEAD FAMILY!!! DEAD LOVER!!!!!!! SHE FAILED TO PROTECT HER WARD FROM ASSASSINATION!!!!! SHE IS THE MOST WANTED WOMAN IN THE UNIVERSE!!]

Bitches on tumblr LOVE taking failmen with sad backstories from media and blorbifying them, but the second it's a woman? please. If this was a man people would be writing the filthiest x reader smut you've seen since Mandalorian S1 came out. If this was a man you'd already have seen 20,000 fan drawings of her with her muscles and tits OUT. God where's my Kora fanart.

I personally have no problems with the plot of this movie (part 1 of 2) being "we must collect warriors to fight the evil empire." That's kinda fantasy story 101 and I still love new, varied interpretations of that plot.

If there's not much interconnecting plot because Kora's just gathering fighters, it's kinda like... that's the point, babes, they'll actually get to it in part 2. We're just at the "forming the team" stage. I revel in that part of a fantasy film and I always want it to be longer, so this film is like catnip to me.

Uh, yeah, this is getting long. More under the cut.

Entertainment professional nitpick time! I've seen someone say RM would be better as a TV show to introduce a new character each episode. And I truly don't think that fixes any of the problems this person has with the film, while introducing way more problems. (Who the fuck would go in on an original concept TV show where each episode introduces a new hero. You could not sell that pitch to a studio, ever, and viewers would instantly check out if they didn't like the introduced character of the week, and the same complaints would be made: it’s just a new character intro blah blah blah. This wouldn’t fix anything! It would very much make it worse!)

Me, like every day, through gritted teeth: that's... not... how... tv... works...

Like be realistic for a hot second with me. Television is not "long movie"—it is a different medium with different rules. Yes, the past decade has blurred many lines between TV and film, but they're still different mediums, and when people blur them ("it's a 10-hour movie!") the results often suck ass, because you either lack episodic structure or you lack feature structure. Snyder is a feature filmmaker who has never worked in TV. Whenever features people jump into TV, it's a whole other learning curve! They're usually terrible at it! You want Snyder to have to learn a new medium? You want him to learn 5/6-act TV structure from scratch? You want him to (horrified gasp) lead a writers room? Those are not his strengths, baby. Let him play in his space opera sandbox.

And I'm not done! You want the casting team to have to deal with the headache of getting feature film actors to star in a TV show? (Pay cuts! Longer commitments! TV production timelines!) You want to do that to me, personally, and fuck up the TV landscape some more by going, "Oh, we can basically just make a Longer Feature Film in TV"? Fuck off with that. TV has different production realities and different basic story structures. A [long] film [with two parts] is still a film, in structure and production practicalities.

Truly, Tumblr media studies brains (derogatory) at it again.

To each their own, but again, I think RM's structure is fun because it gives me more of the goodies (badass, varied character intros) for the price of one (2-hour film.) Like... that's the good stuff, that's often the most exhilarating part of a film for me. And contrary to popular belief, it's not intro to intro without rising tension or stakes. It builds tension as it goes because new facets of resistance against the Motherworld are explored in each character's intro scene. New ways they fight back, new worlds on which they fight back. And a ticking time bomb of the King's Gaze (king's gays lol) catching up.

Here, have a trailer bc Tumblr's mad at me for too much text in one block.

...I like the RM characters. I want to spend time with them and see what other zany shenanigans Snyder will have them do. (Alien bar fights! Taming a space gryphon! Lightsaber battle!) I like the side-quest-y, exploratory, space opera sandbox playground nature. It's fun, and like, again, if you don't perk up at the concept of collecting cool characters like action figures, this film may just not be for you.

To me it's a polycule. Like, the most messed up polycule in the whole galaxy, but it's a polycule.

Speaking of: THE CHARACTERS ROCK. Yeah, we're missing some significant character development because Netflix truncated Snyder's 4-hr, R-rated film into a 2-hr PG-13 version (likely to be able to release the 4-hr cut later, drum up new press, and get more eyeballs on the movie in total in a few months.) That's... not really Snyder's fault [even though he claims he's in on the plan... some part of me thinks it was Netflix's idea and not his. Stinks of studio meddling.] And it's not indicative of the quality of the actual film, which I currently see as more of an abridged version of the R-rated film that's gonna come out and fill up some of these story holes.

If people are judging the film for not being the 4-hour version, and then decide not to see the 4-hour version, that's their call, but it's kinda shitty to act like the 2-hr version is all there is. Like it probably wasn't Snyder's call to do a 2-hr cut! He's said that the 4-hr one is a whole different movie. I betcha the common criticisms (not enough character development, just jumps from character intro to character intro without interconnection, lack of structure) will be helped, if not outright solved, by the longer cut.

I think people are also happy to take a Part 1 of a movie if it's, say, Dune, and the source material has another part, so Part 1 is allowed to be fucking boring, whereas people don't give that kind of allowance to original sci-fi movies, WHICH IS A REASON WE DON'T GET ORIGINAL SCI-FI. If you're painting with as huge and cosmic a palette as space opera Rebel Moon, the 4-8 hours total across the 2 four-hour parts is kinda bare minimum for an epic. So... patience is a virtue? Let part 1 have elements of IT'S KIND OF A PROLOGUE?

What's that saying? If you want the rewards of space opera worldbuilding with an ensemble cast, you must submit to the mortifying ordeal of 2 hours of setup. Geez. Enjoy the wacky exposition or get out of the space opera genre.

Yeah, that leads me to the point of people who don't enjoy space opera are getting mad at RM for fulfilling the promises of the genre. You might truly be happier elsewhere. The whole thing is over-the-top, huge-scale MELODRAMA and I thrive on melodrama. If it's too cheesy for you, don't come to space operas!!!!!!!

On that note, people have said RM is too tropey and too Star Wars-y. But like I said. If you don't love the tropes get out of the genre!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you aren't here for bloodier/hornier Star Wars get out of RM!!!!

Another big idea I would be remiss to skip over. RM is an explicitly, deliberately anti-colonial, anti-imperial text—far, far more so than any other mainstream sci-fi currently being released. Well-intentioned liberals love to tout Star Trek/Star Wars as progressive media but they really hedge and defang all their political commentary, especially in their 21st century franchise form—think the SW sequels/shows straight up woobifying K*lo Ren in realtime and the Trek shows that (while fun!) are really often just nostalgia bait.

RM is pretty fucking radical. Its theme basically is Kill Nazis—or in expanded form, something along the lines of "The empire will eat up everything of value in the universe unless it is met with unified armed resistance built on solidarity."

And just look at RM's casting. We're not colorblind here; we're very color-conscious. (That's a rant for another day, but I've really started to despise colorblind casting for its extremely well-intentioned-liberal "we're all the same" mentality. It just winds up erasing.) Anyway: RM features the explicitly American-English-Afrikaans empire vs. the Algerian Amazigh protagonist, Black freedom fighters, Japanese revolutionary... and like. Snyder's always gonna be into Vikings so obviously we have Space Vikings too, whatever. Look at me, I can criticize Snyder too! The Poor Sad Space Vikings are not the strongest part of the film!

...Anyway of course the empire vs. revolution is absolutely kind of Star Wars-y since RM is highkey Snyder's Star Wars, but it goes so much further than SW dreamed (or, perhaps, nightmared). SW's rebels/resistance continually get defanged because they're kind of foundationally space magic/singular hero's quest deals, and modern SW with the exception of Rogue One/Andor is just politically, socially stupid. In contrast, RM is about forming a coalition, without something like the Force to help you out. I could write an essay on the ways RM starts in the same place Star Wars starts but takes its politics so much more seriously, so much further.

While I'd argue "good politics" and "artistic quality" rarely correlate, RM is explicitly and doggedly a text about the colonial empire that exploits, enslaves, abuses, and seeks to utterly control marginalized people groups in its quest for domination—and god, I would LOVE to see a resurgence in very fanged, very angry political sci-fi.

One more aside. Snyder has been rightfully criticized for his earlier works basking in fascist-adjacent, hypermasculine aesthetics; 300 is notably super duper racist in how it depicts savage/monstrous Persians vs. Beautifully Good White Spartans Defending Their Culture. (more on "300 Bad" stored up in my brain if anyone wants THAT rant.) To Snyder's credit, none of his films since 300 have really done that—parts of Batman v Superman and his cut of Justice League purposefully poke fun at it. The hypermasculinity is kinda still there, but it's subsumed in the service of melodrama and mythic-flavored cinema, and it's kinda a staple of the action genre anyway, and if you're gonna criticize Snyder without criticizing EVERY ACTION MOVIE EVER, that's just more regurgitated Snyder haterism.

No one is doing mythic action like Snyder these days. No one has the balls and the command of melodrama & operatic visuals. And it comes clearly from Snyder's background in art & art history because all his shots are jam-packed with symbolism and meaning and allusion. So criticize the film for its weaknesses if you like but geez, if I see another post railing about the lack of CRAFT in RM, I will start biting. ALMOST NO BLOCKBUSTER HAS THIS LEVEL OF CRAFT. It's okay that you don't understand visual storytelling, babygirl, but please don't accuse Snyder of lacking craft.

Sorry, you've triggered Cinema Defense Mechanisms in me, I'm gonna have to sit down for a while after this.

I have more takes. Takes hot enough to fuel the King's Gaze (king's gays lol.) But I'll end with a funny observation: I transed my gender (cheers, shouts, hoorays) just about the time I was getting ready to watch Rebel Moon, and in one shocking, epiphanic moment I turned to my partner and went "Of COURSE I'm a man. I like Zack Snyder." So........... do with that what you will.

[withering-sunflower-dust]

You know, I'm thinking abt an empires au more specifically an actor au. I've seen a lot of different actor/behind the scenes aus which has very much dragged me into a rabbit hole for esmp/alsmp actor/behind the scene au

Sooo I'mma post something for it instead of letting it rot my brain!

Random interviewer; How do you take shots with your uhh, evil counter part?

Sausage's actor; oh Supreme?

Random interviewer; that's what you guys call him on set set? over here we call him Bratwurst

Sausage's actor; yea that's understandable, But to answer the question he's not actually green screened in

Random interviewer; really now?

Sausage actor; yea, I think the writers thought the plot would be perfect because I have a twin brother *points off screen*

Bratwurst's actor; sup!

Sausage actor; his voice is a lot different, he normally uses a voice changer on set

Random interviewer; I see!

_____

Interviewer; how did the writers come up with the ending for season 1?

Gem's actor; that's actually a really funny story!

Interviewer; how come?

Gem's actor; season 1 with an actually supposed to end like that we had an ending plant out for like months, but then one day I guess somebody broke havoc and then the sets kind of burnt down.. not entirely there were a lot of sets that were still okay to use like mythlands, The cod empire, and like some others but yeah that's kind of how we ended up with that ending for season 1

Interviewer; so we could've had a different ending?

Gem's actor; yes actually! Our original ending was actually..uhm.. how do I say this..okay I think our show would have actually been rated R if we had the original ending we planned

Interviewer; woah now!

Gem's actor; it's true! Even with the blood and things we have now on the show it's still only PG-13, but I think with that ending it would have definitely been rated R, {*Scott's actor*} was actually supposed to drop an f-bomb at the very end

_____

Interviewer;what are your opinions on the ships?

Scott's actor; uh, I love the ships the people drawing these pieces of art are so talented honestly

Interviewer; if I were to ask what's your favorite ship, what would it be personally for you?

Scott's actor; uuuh, oh that's a hard one, I would say the Jimmy and Scott ones. But, the sausage and Scott ones have a very special place in my heart

Interviewer; and why is that?

Scott's actor; I'm actually married to {*sausages actor name*} so like when I see these fan arts of these two characters that basically resemble us, it makes us feel so appreciated cuz we never thought the day would come where people would be drawing us in a physical relationship

Interviewer; wait, YOU'RE MARRIED?!

_____

Interviewer; if I can ask where did the concept of your season 2 skulk corruption come from?

Shelby's actor; uuh, personally I think it was inspired by sausages season 1 corruption I think it was supposed to be a continuation of that and with a closing space for it since this is our final season so we wanted to close off any kind of potholes and I think this was the perfect way to do it by getting my character corrupted and having {*sausages actor*} help my character out with this whole thing cuz that was like a whole friendship arc I never thought I would see but honestly watching it back I loved how it came out

Interviewer; I see! Well what do you think of the ships?

Shelby's actor; uh, season 2 nature's wife was actually {*sausages actor*} idea but we like went along with it, mind you this was before it was announced to the crew me and {*Katherine's actor*} was actually dating

Interviewer; that is truly amazing!

Shelby's actor; it is! Sometimes on set we joke about how {*sausage's actor*} actually has psychic abilities outside of his character

_____

Interviewer; who do you think were the most chaotic people while filming together was?

Joey's actor; uh, for season 1 I think {*fwhip's actor*} has explicitly answered this question in his YouTube Q&A on his channel, while just on set even if behind the scenes one of the most fun and chaotic people to be with is me and {*sausages actor*} we rock havoc on set

Interviewer; yea that makes sense

_____

Interviewer; a quick question before we continue with everything, who was playing Hermes?

Joel's actor; oh that's actually something I've wanted someone to ask

Interviewer; why is that?

Joel's actor; The Kid that was playing Hermes is actually {*sausage's actor*} Son well more like adopted son but same thing, the kid that played Hermes is actually {*Scott's actor*} and {*sausage's actor} son, so yeah that's actually really funny to think about, cuz both in cannon and real life Hermes is actually {*sausage's actor*} son in both realities

[undercat-overdog]

So I was reading some of your older answers to questions about your fics when I became curious about something. Let’s pretend that there’s an AU where a more corruptible version of ‘Bones’ Celebrimbor accepts Sauron’s proposal to marry and rule with him. What would happen to Sauron if Celebrimbor were to die? (Let’s say in battle fighting for Sauron) Comparing it to Melian’s reaction to leave everything behind after Thingol’s death.

Hey anon! Thank you for the ask, and sorry for my delay in replying.

You know, I was thinking about it a while back and I definitely think there's a tack Sauron could have used that could have led to Celebrimbor's darker side coming through. I thought a bit a while back about how to do that and mostly they wouldn't work as an AU from that particular point in Bones (things like insidious mind control using the One, C being captured and through a mix of stockholm syndrome and wanting to make S's rule less horrible comes to participate - if you're curious about such AUs, simaetha on ao3 has some fantastic fic), but had Sauron framed it as less "let's rule the world together" and more "Gil-galad's not ambitious enough, you are, those less knowledgeable and skilled and smart as us 'wander here untaught', we need to raise them up, even if not all of them like it at first, etc." Basically the appeal he made to the Elves of Eregion in the Silm but upping the imperialism. Because Celebrimbor is prideful and is ambitious and does have a sense of superiority, and I definitely think it could be appealed to more.

Of course, Sauron didn't think he needed to hide his eventual plans, though he certainly planned to keep hiding his rather unique biography. He is also hiding his current extra-Eregion activities - he is at this point (c. SA 1200-1500) occasionally traveling around working on his evil empire. I like to imagine he sent back regular letters to Celebrimbor talking about how lovesick he is all the cool, definitely not evil-empire-related stuff he's seeing. Probably some rock samples or pressed flowers. He is being dishonest and deceiving Celebrimbor about a lot of stuff, but he is for the first time open and honest about his true goal in the proposal scene.

Anyways! In the scenario you propose, Sauron would react very, very poorly to Celebrimbor's death. Many people would die horribly. However he felt about Celebrimbor at the time - and I think he would probably end up respecting him less and Celebrimbor becoming somewhat less important in his life, thought certainly still very important - Celebrimbor is his and it is unacceptable that someone (else) hurt him. And elf soulbond! (I do love elf soulbonds.) I think it would cause a lot of pain to Sauron. Emotionally of course, he would be incredibly distraught and bereft, but metaphysically too.

To go to Melian's reaction, there's the interesting question of how she returned to Valinor. She is shapelocked, due to "begetting", but I find it logistically unlikely for her to have left Beleriand physically; I imagine she shed her form, which implies to me some sort of metaphysical change? She is no longer capable of being tied to Thingol physically (maybe a little desperate necro, but Thingol's no longer in that body). Likewise, in a situation where S loses his elf husband, I imagine it would create some sort of 'wound', if you will (and that Melian experienced that). Different in scale and effect than the loss of the One in canon, certainly not permanently incapacitating, but not too different in quality. A part of Sauron was wretched away, leaving a gaping, bleeding wound.

Many people would end up dying, horribly. But Sauron certainly isn't going to Valinor, as Melian did. I imagine the timeline and plot here would draw closer to canon. If the One wasn't already made (and I'm uncertain if a married Sauron could make the One as it is: his soul isn't just his own anymore, there's another soul that's intertwined with it*), I don't know if Sauron would make it, because I'm not sure there's the same incentive as there is in canon, but maybe something like it. But certainly going full on dark lord, Sauron the Great, King of the Earth, as he called himself in canon.**

*as a general rule I prefer 'soul' in writing, but yes, technically eala and fea and the two are different. Sauron has no "true" physical form and is whole without a fana, but Celebrimbor or any other elf are only whole when his fea and hroa/soul and body are together. But for the terms of a marriage bond, they function more or less interchangeably.

**what name he ended up using here is also open to debate. "Sauron the Great" is a title he did use canonically, but does anyone know he is Sauron/Gorthaur in this AU? Maybe not, aside from some Orcs! He's probably going by Annatar in this AU and he might end up keeping it. Well, as one of his names: I imagine he had many in different local languages.

(Also, please don't worry, your asks made me very happy to receive!)

[theresattrpgforthat]

Hi there! I’m running a Christmas one-shot for a few mates of mine. I’ve told them to make DnD characters because it’s the system they are familiar with (I play a greater variety of systems then they do and I’m determined to infect them with indie ttrpgs eventually). Even though it’s DnD, I was wondering if you knew any cool Christmas related systems I could read up on and maybe borrow a rule or two from and graft in to make the one shot a bit more interesting?

So far I’m thinking either a standard “the magic is fading” plot line or an office comedy, both based in Santas workshop. If you can’t think of anything don’t worry, I’m going to have a look through my library either way and see what I can find.

Love this blog! ❤️

THEME: Christmas Games

Hello friend! This one-shot idea sounds so cool! Let's see what we've got to work with.

Oh Holy… What Happened Last Night? By OopsAllSmurph.

Santa’s out of town until the night of Christmas Eve, but he left you all, a group of his most trusted North Pole townsfolk, in charge of the North Pole until he got back. You did what anyone would do with a magical city at their fingertips -- throw a MASSIVE rager. After a little too much eggnog, you’ve all woken up with 2 problems: A massive hangover, and a North Pole in disrepair.

You’ve got until midnight tonight, Christmas Eve, to put the North Pole back to the way it was (or hide it well enough nobody will noticed) so Santa can leave for his trip around the world without a hitch! 

This a simple one-page game that might work well as inspiration for your office comedy idea, perhaps if your characters have to help all the inhabitants of the North Pole get cleaned up before Santa comes back. You can roll randomly for lost and broken items, and add extra obstacles like find all the stray reindeer, put kids’ names back on the toys, and pay the Grinch his protection money!

Elf in Your Self, by StarshineScribbles.

The Elf:  Fear it. Run from it. No matter what you do, You can't escape it.

Every Christmas, the Elf arrives out of nowhere.  Sitting on your shelf. Leering at you. Trying to make you behave. Trying to enforce compliance with some half-remembered dogma about Naughty and Nice lists.  Also, it might be possessed by a demon…

The only way to return peace to your home is to destroy it before it takes control of your mind.

Elf In Your Self is a game about a dark version of everyone's favorite surveillance-based Christmas decoration.  Players will use a deck of cards to tell the story of their attempts to banish this evil force from their homes. But beware, one wrong move and you may become possessed by the Elf! 

This feels like a game of collaborative go-fish but with a horror-movie twist. You are attempting to put together a ritual that will weaken the Elf in an attempt to get rid of it by the end of the game, but your players will become possessed by the Elf if they are forced to draw from more resources. I suppose you could use this as a mini-game inside a larger story about an Elf that has been causing havoc in Santa’s workshop, or perhaps use the idea of a big bad demon harassing a Christmas Town by possessing an innocent villager.

Christmas Goons, by hechlok.

The wizard Santiclous is looking for a mysterious artifact to light on the top of the Christmas tree - help him save the magic of Christmas!

Ruins, machines, lost gnomes, and Christmas presents await you. Let's get to it, Christmas Goons!

Christmas Goons is a short dungeon crawl that brings your characters through the ruins of a gnomish inventor’s home base. This adventure is designed for Tunnel Goons, but the dungeon map looks like it could be used for any game you like. There are details for each room, with suggested obstacles that you might be able to re-skin for the game of your choice. The adventure is also free!

Oh Bring Us Some Figgy Pudding, by Tim Obermueller.

Over seven nights, you are trying to defend your figgy pudding from increasingly hostile carolers. Good luck!

This is a tactical game of pudding defense, with increasing levels of difficulty as the carolers whittle away at your skills over seven nights. I could see this being some kind of possession or zombie storyline, with the carolers having a mindless fixation on the pudding, and your characters have to spend seven nights/rounds of combat fending them off with different tactics.

A Christmas Belonging, by dannymakesrpgs.

A Christmas Belonging gives you snow covered landscapes, quaint small towns, and the low stakes high drama experience of a made-for-TV Christmas movie. Recreate those cheerful stories of romance and family drama in this collaborative, zero-prep RPG.

This is a diceless game about someone who prioritizes work over family, coming from the big city into a small Christmas town, where they meet someone who changes their outlook on Christmas - and on life. Extremely trophy, extremely cheesy, and great for folks who love taking a genre and pushing it as far as it can go.

I’m not entirely sure how to incorporate this into a traditional D&D game, but perhaps it might be a subplot that goes on in the background; perhaps an adventurer who is here just for treasure meets a cute local who wants them to slow down and experience the meaningful magic of a local holiday. Perhaps this cute local’s magic ritual is exactly what is needed to solve the adventurer’s problem!

You Will Be Haunted by Three Spirits, by Meghan Cross.

You Will be Haunted by Three Spirits is a GMless game for three players about changing the heart of someone who desperately needs it. Each player will take on the role of a spirit as well as collaboratively taking on the  role of the individual being haunted by the spirits.

It is roleplay heavy, GMless game that is played in three rounds as each of the spirits reaches out to the Haunted in an attempt to soften their heart and convince them to change their ways. All that is needed for play is this game text and a set of dice. Players will each take on the role of one of the visiting spirits as well as collaboratively playing the role of the Haunted as they are visited by the spirits attempting to save their soul and change their heart. 

This is probably my favourite holiday trope. It is probably the most heartfelt game on this list, and the least likely to travel into goofy territory. The biggest obstacle to using this game its that it requires three players only if you play as written - one to be the Past, one to be the Present, and on to be the Spirit of What Is To Come.

However, if you want to use it as inspiration, you might set up the party with the job of convincing their Haunted to change their ways so that the magic of Christmas is returned before it is too late. You could have some characters taking on the embodiment of different Spirits, while others work to bring about the miraculous events of the past, present and future. If you want to embody some of the magic and warmth of Christmas, this might be the game for you.

[lineycantdance]

AwaE's "Tale of the Magical Island" play

In the the sixth episode of Season 2 of Anne with an E entitled "I Protest Against Any Absolute Conclusion," the community of Avonlea comes together to put on the annual Christmas Pantomime. In this meta, I offer my analysis of this story within a story.

Not only does the plot of the panto draw heavily upon the story of Adam and Eve, but in my interpretation, it also allegorically serves as a way for Avonlea to use the medium of the theatre to process and come to grips with the threat that the grifters posed to their "magical island" community.

First, a brief synopsis of the play:

The opening number introduces the audience to an agrarian community residing on a "Magic Fantastical Island." Our hero, a farm boy, encounters a Fairy Princess who, seeing The Boy's hard work and goodness, bestows upon him a Golden Apple Tree which he vows to faithfully protect. A Dame happens upon the Golden Apple Tree and asks The Boy to hand her one of its fruits, but he refuses. When the Dame steals an apple, the Devil Lobster appears accompanied by a catchy tune. Things seem bleak when the Devil Lobster gets ahold of one of the apples, but a Prince on a noble steed arrives to vanquish the evil foe. However, the Devil Lobster thwarts the Prince by crushing his sword in his claws. As stormy skies swirl overhead, The Boy digs a large Black Hole with his trusty shovel and tricks the Devil Lobster into falling in. The hole swallows up the Devil Lobster, the day is saved, and they all lived happily ever after!

The Panto as Allegory for the Grifter Arc:

Ultimately, this play tells a simple story in which good triumphs over evil with a moral about resisting temptation and the perils of greed.

I would like to call attention to the fact that the apples are painted gold. Like their edenic counterpart, they symbolize sin and temptation, but in the context of this allegory, they also represent the enticing prospect of finding gold in Avonlea.

One of the Prince's lines suggests that if the Devil Lobster got his hands on the golden apples, it would bring spoil and rot upon the town's land ("You think you can turn our land into rot?/ I'm the unconquerable prince, lest you forgot!"). This parallels the threat that the mining operation posed to Avonlea—digging up the earth in the hopes of finding gold would have defiled the land and brought environmental destruction to the small farming town.

The Devil Lobster is defeated by falling into the Black Hole—this bears a striking resemblance to how Mr. Dunlop was ultimately caught by the townsfolk in S2E3 after he fell down the mining shaft at Nate's dig site.

It's significant that The Boy is the one who digs the hole to stop the Devil Lobster. The Boy represents the every child, and more specifically, the youth of Avonlea. While the adults of the town were easily swindled by Nate and Mr. Dunlop's gold scheme, it was children, specifically Anne, Diana, and to some extent Jerry, who were able to see through the grifters' ruse, put all the pieces together, and try to stop them from getting away with their scheme.

The version of events rendered in the play puts a more heroic spin on the role The Boy plays in thwarting the evildoer. He actively sets a trap for the Devil Lobster using the pivotal prop—a shovel—to do so. Since a shovel is a tool of excavation, this reflects how the excavation site Nate initially used to stage his con became a trap and holding place for Dunlop when their ruse came crashing down.

In reality, our child heroes were not so active nor successful in thwarting Nate and Dunlop. Only Dunlop was captured whereas Nate got away with the money. After their sleuthing in Charlottetown, Anne and Diana tried to warn the Barrys about what they'd discovered, but Diana's mother wouldn't hear any of it. Anne told Marilla who thankfully believed her, but by then it was too late, and the two literally got tied up. Meanwhile, Jerry had his own moment of realization, finally recognizing the boarders as the thieves who mugged him and stole his money in the finale of season 1. He tried to throw a punch at Nate, but got beat up again and fell unconscious. Mr. Dunlop only fell into the hole, not by any of the children's doing, but because he and Nate turned against each other.

The play credits the children as the real heroes in the story and offers a happier ending than the real version of events in which the community is still reeling from the financial blow of the con, lingering distrust—especially of outsiders—and feelings of regret and shame. In particular, we see how Marilla blames herself for inviting the boarders into their community and how the fallout of the the con hits the Barrys especially hard, manifesting as marital conflict between Diana's parents. The play's happier version of events helps the town process the ordeal they've gone through and imparts a moral they learned from the experience.

Each Character's Role in the Panto:

Anne as The Boy: Like the show itself, Anne is the protagonist of the play, our plucky hero. Her stepping into the role of The Boy was foreshadowed with her trip to Carmody earlier in the episode during which she dressed up like a boy. It's also fitting that Anne plays this part since she was the one who put all the clues together about the boarders' true intentions. The fact that Anne replaces Josie in the lead role of the play, as well as Matthew's last-minute substitution for Billy as the Owl, signifies that Anne and the Cuthberts are forces of progressive change in Avonlea.

Diana as the Fairy Princess: Most characters, including Anne, see Diana as the angelic image of a proper lady. She's generous, sweet, beautiful, and comes from a wealthy family. Like her Fairy Princess counterpart who awards The Boy for his hard work, Diana sees Anne's virtues even when others don't, and overall is a supportive and generous friend.

Matthew as the Owl: Matthew stepping into this role is foreshadowed in his flashback with his brother Michael in which a young Matthew can be seen whittling an owl figurine. Owls are associated with wisdom and true sight. This is a fitting choice for a narrator character in a play and also suits Matthew who demonstrates real wisdom.

Mr. Lynde as the Devil Lobster: In S2E2, a townsperson remarks that Mr. Lynde shows no moderation whatsoever as he piles his plate full of sweets. The Devil Lobster is the embodiment of greed and avarice and proclaims that he is "simply shimmering with sin." Tamatoa who? I only know the Devil Lobster! Also, it's clear that Rachel is super into seeing her husband acting a bit naughty and decided to have some fun with this casting choice.

The minister as the Fair Dame: Seeing the minister in drag is played for comedic effect. The Dame plays the part of Eve taking the apple from the Garden of Eden. While the minister was skeptical about the gold testing business, he did not dissuade the town's eagerness for material riches and therefore also shares responsibility for inviting avarice into Avonlea.

Mr. Phillips as the "Unconquerable" Prince: This is also played for laughs as it demonstrates Mr. Phillip's inflated sense of ego. He envisions himself as a gallant hero when in reality, he is anything but. The Prince is ineffectual at fighting off the Devil Lobster and runs away like a coward, much like how the adults and authority figures of Avonlea were completely bamboozled by the grifters.

Rachel Lynde as Queen Victoria: Perhaps a narcissistic casting choice on the part of Rachel, but let's be real, she was the artistic director behind this whole production and knocked it out of the park. Pop off, queen!

I hope you enjoyed this discussion of the "play within a play" in S2E6 of Anne with and E. This is probably my favorite episode in the whole series due to its many wholesome moments, especially Jerry giving Anne his Christmas card, Gilbert and Bash coming over to the Cuthbert's for Christmas dinner, and Matthew overcoming his stage fright. 10/10 would recommend. Of course the Christmas episode absolutely slaps!

[bereft-of-frogs]

I have a whole bunch of things to do and a rough draft I should be working on, but instead here's an absurd night of the fire theory (with admittedly, a few holes):

I think the night of the fire starts with the Jedi split up. The remaining trailer footage is a few scenes of just Sol and Indara together, and the fight between Kelnacca and Torbin. So they start divided for some reason, and then Aniseya casts a spell to enchant at least Kelnacca, or the both of them, and make them fight. There's the trailer shot of all of the witches having blacked-out eyes, so I think she's either drawing on them for the spell or they're all casting it together?

(bunch of holes: what makes them decide to split up/return to the fortress, what happens between Aniseya and the rest of the coven, why does she cast the spell)

Sol and Indara realize something is wrong and go to the fortress themselves. Sol steps into the fight (Kelnacca vs Sol trailer footage) while Indara traces the origin of the spell back to Aniseya. She confronts her to get her to stop -- with Mae watching.

Mae seems to not think her mother's power is a huge deal (if you watch the first confrontation, she looks delighted when Aniseya casts the spell on Torbin the first time, like it's a harmless game) so she considers her mother to be 'unarmed' ('The Jedi don't attack the unarmed'/'yes you do') but the Jedi do take it seriously (Torbin looked pretty upset afterward), so Indara considers Aniseya to be 'armed'. Eventually Indara feels the need to kill her to stop the spell ('A Jedi only pulls her weapon if she's prepared to kill') -- but what she doesn't realize is that's going to rebound and kill the entire coven (the moment Osha hears where they all scream above her).

I think Koril survives, maybe she wasn't involved with the spell, (too conspicuously missing from the pile of bodies) and comes back to attack the Jedi in a rage for killing Aniseya (trailer shot of her lunging at someone) and their confrontation results in the reactor getting tripped and the larger fire starting. (Wouldn't be surprised if Mae does drop the lantern --perhaps being distracted by hearing the start of Indara and Aniseya's fight, and rushing off to witness that -- and DOES start the smaller fire that traps Osha in her room but the Jedi vs witches confrontation is responsible for the larger one that destroys the whole fortress)

So the guilt is spread more or less evenly. Kelnacca and Torbin feel guilty for being mind controlled/attacking each other/the reason Indara had to kill Aniseya, Sol potentially for starting the fire. My main rebuttal for a lot of the 'Indara is a Sith/Indara premeditates a massacre and the others' guilt is for failing to stop her' theories is...there's no reason to lie if only one party is uniquely evil or at fault. If it is just one person and they all feel THAT guilty...they'd just tell the Order, I can't see all four being willing to lie for just one person, it seems like a collective thing.

And the splitting up part is important because I think only Torbin and Kelnacca experience the mind control/spell thing. Indara and Sol are more functional 16 years later because even if they have regrets and guilt over what happened, they were adults and they were 'in their right minds', so can own up to their decisions. But having your sense of self overridden might lead to being more haunted ('...he gets inside your head and stays there') and unable to move on, leading Kelnacca to his exile and obsession with the coven symbol, and Torbin to take the Barash Vow (especially if he thinks it's his fault that Indara felt the need to kill Aniseya, and chain-reaction wipe out the rest of the coven)

Especially because I think the Barash Vow is going to end up being more about that trauma of having your sense of self violated and your connection to the Force broken in some way. The only other time we've seen the Barash Vow in practice in this era (...aside from the actual Barash herself plot which, I'll be real, every time that came up in the last two books I was like 'Porter, babe, I love you but there is SO much else going on, I do NOT have the space to unpack this right now...') is Dez at the end of Into the Dark. And Dez objectively did nothing really wrong except be a bit impulsive and get himself stuck in a bad situation. What the Drengir make him do is clearly not his fault. But he chooses to take the Vow because 'the cracks are still showing' with his connection to the Force.

(Side note: do we think Dez will ever come back? I'm inclined to say probably not or else he'd have been namedropped again by now but honestly I'd rather have him come back in than Cohmac. But alas. I don't think there's really much left for Dez, character-arc wise, and there's a whole lot left on the table for Cohmac, with the way he just....noped out of there (sigh). So out of the two of them Cohmac's more likely to show back up in the Reath-focused books. But. What's Dez doing tho?)

I'm not 100% sure how this connects to my last bit of the theory: that everyone knew Mae was alive and purposefully left her behind for some reason. Indara and Torbin are 0% surprised that Mae is still alive, and Sol is getting to the point of 'doth protest too much', especially after Vernestra got upset with him after the meeting (Sol & Elzar could form a 'getting justifiably read to filth by Vernestra Rwoh' support group if they were alive at the same time), and all the stuff he's hiding.

Also suspect: Sol's line 'there's nothing back there' on the ship at the end of the episode, when Osha wants to go back. Maybe he did know something was back there, a living Mae, maybe also Koril, but they thought it was easier for Osha to think her sister was dead and not have to make this choice. Maybe they've made some deal (all the stuff about the Stranger trying to prompt Sol into remembering him) to each take one of the twins and lie about the other being dead (the Stranger also is not surprised that Osha is alive, while Mae is shook), and this is the true Parent Trap moment lol XD

I genuinely don't know how seriously I mean that last point because truly I'm like 'lol they did a Parent Trap that would be so silly' but also....yeah I think they might have done a Parent Trap...

*admittedly all quotes are paraphrased from memory, I can go back and add the book quote about Dez's decision later because I can just CTRL-F in my kindle app but I probably shouldn't take the time to scrub through confirming show quotes lol, I really have SO much to do today. I said this last week too. I'm really going to push through this rough draft this afternoon I promise.

ETA:

Ok, NOW I'm going to go clean my apartment and work on what I actually want to be working on, theory exorcised from my brain for now