#my entire thought process here was like:
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Concept art?? Style practice?? Not a clue ✨ so here, have the doodles ✨😌🫶




Just goofing around over here,, don’t mind me,, *hides behind Decepticon!Prowl wips*
#transformers#tf jazz#tf prowl#concept doodles that are like#a little bit#✨ wAy too polished ✨#my entire thought process here was like:#I have an idea#but no time make idea#solution:#Giant brush tool 🤩#cause wHo needs sketches on a time limit?? /j 💀✨#*starscream esc laughter*#…#me. I need sketches.#just not today#TuŤ<333#angst#??? I think
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boy he's rly mobbin all over the place
#qkdraws#mob psycho 100#mp100#mp100 shigeo#mp100 mob#shigeo kageyama#mob#recently got into mp100 !! finished season 2 a couple days ago and rly liked a couple stills so <3 here they are#gotta hurry up and watch season 3 before my crunchyroll trial ends .......#anyway i looooooove when he goes insane . aren't u tired of being nice mob don't u wanna go apeshit#he's SO fun to draw#also quick art rant: i had completely different plans for these two pieces but#i made an overlay with a deep blue and fucked around w the modes and it made mob kinda pop outta the pic#and i just went w it ?? thought it looked nice#just goes to show that u should REALLY experiment . dont let ur fear of fucking things up stop u#the beauty of digital art is that there is an undo button . fuck around to ur heart's content and Find Out !#anyway the most difficult part of this entire process was making the dust not look weird#im just not good at dust i guess VGEYAGV
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did every hero really follow endeavor's plan during the jail break? I've never watched bnha, but I always figured there were more heros then Japan knew what do with. Was endeavor really just that worried about how the fight again AFO would go? and did AFO have the league with him? or other prison escapees? Given eraserhead was so entrenched?
As a preliminary matter--yes, it was way more than AfO. The League basically did what they did during the USJ arc and subcontracted their violent attacks. They needed a big force to first get AfO and everyone else out of Tartarus, and then they made it very clear (via loudspeaker and also fucking tweet) that they would all be very peacefully retreating while all those criminally insane and violent motherfuckers went that other direction. Ball's in your court as to how you want to tackle it.
AfO was the biggest threat, by fucking far, but it was far from isolated to him. It was the entire League of Villains + Their Very Special Friends. It was the kind of force that would be required to make the entirety of Tartarus fall for the first time in history. So the heroes had plenty to keep them busy.
And as to whether Endeavor was that scared about the next fight with AfO... Yeah.
I think bnha does a good job at establishing that All Might and AfO just exist at entirely different levels than every other person alive. Their fight leveled a decent chunk of Kamino. And I think that's kind of power and devastation is hard to conceptualize as like, people in a world where we don't have to worry about superhero fights. (as a side note--Sukuna's Big Fight in the Shibuya arc from JJK did better than any other fight in media to really capture the sheer cosmic horror of being caught as a bystander in one of those fights).
But endeavor saw it. He was there for AfO’s and All Might’s last fight. The gods were fighting. Everyone else was just an ant.
He is facing the villain that ultimately took down All Might. All Might won Kamino, sure. But he didn't get up again after. He was permanently and irreversibly taken out of play. And Endeavor has spent the last year feeling like he was struggling to be even half of what All Might was with two hours of productivity a day. He was so consistently voted to not be able to compare to All Might that he bought a wife and had four kids about it, all of whom hate him actively.
He does not think he is winning this fight. He is Japan's number one hero. The responsibility is going to fall to Midoriya Izuku to him. He is the best they have left, and the fight that would be coming was one that already nearly killed All Might, the one guy he has never ever been able to compare to. And when he really looked himself in the mirror and asked if he could stop AfO, the answer was no.
And it wouldn't just be AfO if he came back to power. It would be his followers--and he was liable to get more than just the current League of Villains roster. It would mean more Nomus. They could barely handle one Nomu--how could they possibly handle the Nomus, and the LoV, and AfO?
And the answer that he came to was that they couldn't. Not without All Might.
He thought he was sacrificing Yokohama for every single other city AfO was going to level if he had time to grow in strength again. He thought that if they threw absolutely everything they had at him while he was weak, then maybe they could contain him and the League before entire cities fell.
So. That's why he came to that decision. Why did every hero fall into line?
So what’s key to what happened here was it was this complete structural breakdown at exactly the wrong time.
Structural Flaw #1: Transportation
Was it every hero in Japan that responded to Endeavor’s order? No. But not every hero in Japan was available. Any heroes out of the immediate area were too far away to do shit.
But it's a massive crisis. Heroes would commute from all over if they could--but it's not about desire, it's about time and resources. With how imminently emergent the threat was, a lot of far-away heroes would need something like a jet to even conceivably get there in time.
Who is sending the jet?
Let's pin down what heroes could, conceivably, get there in time. Very few heroes are in walking distance. How do heroes typically get from Point A to Point B?
Hero society in bnha is an agency model. There is no communal pool of resources--you have what your agency has. You have a jet to transport you if your agency has the money for one, and I’m pretty sure only all might had that (he has since had it dismantled and the parts repurposed for the sake of the environment. He only had it to begin with so he could quickly respond to imminent threats. All Might thinks there's more than one way to save the world and saving the environment is part of it). Like. We even saw Endeavor flying fucking commercial.
But let's just assume, arguendo, that some agencies have jets. It would have to be the very top agencies to possibly afford it.
All of whom are shown in canon to mostly operate out of the same area. So they're going to have to send the jet somewhere else to get more heroes. Now any travel time is doubled. If they do send it out, how many people are they realistically getting? Are these heroes in multiple different cities? That's more travel time then. Maybe we just land the plane in Kyoto and whoever gets on in the twenty minute period while they're refueling is who is coming back. We'll hand them parachutes and kick them out the plane door over Yokohama. Okay. Good plan. Go team.
Who is sending the jet?
Like, who is physically making the call to send the jet? Who do they call? Do they just start ringing around their buddies and seeing if they have other plans? The city is on fucking fire and we need people fighting now, so the big name heroes don't have time to organize transport with other agencies. They’re not even thinking of that right now. Make it a sidekick's job.
They are all on fucking strike.
Fuck it. Fine. Make it an admin's job. There has to be some kind of office staff who can work a telephone who's available.
Who is thinking to send the jet?
Admins are not making strategic calls about where the company jets go. There would have to be some kind of protocol in place or someone with the authority to send the jet would have to think of it in the moment. And I guarantee you this would not be the case.
Because this is a society where they have canonically semi-privatized public safety and put people in direct competition with each other over it.
ASIDE: The Economic Structure of Heroics and Why It Sucks
I have an economic structure. You must listen to it. I promise it is relevant. This is why it takes me forever to do things it's because i get too deep into the weeds and have to explain the fucking economic structures underpinning the analysis for my nonsense to make sense.
How the fuck do heroes get paid?
I have no idea if canon ever tells us because to be so for real with you guys I have not watched this show in years. I haven’t cared about canon since the Shie Hassaikai arc. The fucking YouTuber arc broke me. I literally never watched it again. If they ever explain to us how heroes get paid I do not know and I do not care. I refuse to go back to canon. Everything I found out about canon after the Shie Hassaikai arc, I learned against my will. The ending to this story was so fucking stupid and I only have a scattered knowledge of the details but I’m still right. If canon ever tries to explain it then please do not tell me, I refuse to learn more things about this show.
But I still like poking around the potential economic structures based on the part of canon that doesn’t cause me psychic damage. So here’s the thought process for the economic underpinnings of hero society in the pez universe.
From canon, we know it can be an enormously lucrative profession, we know that it involves some degree of private interests (re: merch lines), and we know that there are some people who cannot have merch lines (Underground Heroes, e.g. Eraserhead), so there also must be some kind of public funding aspect to it as well. So. Who the fuck signs your paycheck?
Sources of Funding
a. Public Funding
There must be some kind of official governmental budget for heroics. Like. They are very much a public service. There would be no way to have a fully private heroics force without government funding. What else are you supposed to do, fucking Venmo heroes after they save you? Do they put your kitten back in the tree if you don’t have enough.
In my mind, there's public funds allocated to heroes as part of a city's budget. That funding is allotted based on the number of employees in a given entity balanced against the confirmed acts of heroics of that same given entity. There’s a base salary level and that can be increased based on how successful you are, but salary isn’t exclusively what this fund is for. The heroic entity (an individual hero or an Agency) is effectively receiving grant money from the government to run their agency. You put it into salaries, gear, office space, everything. The government is basically investing in heroes, and it’s investing more in heroes who are shown to have a greater positive impact on society.
It involves overly complex calculations regarding the scaled difficulty of a given bust/rescue/act and ranking of the villain (if there is one) and the overall public benefit for the service rendered. You get bonuses for having a lower average property damage, for contributing to community building projects, that kind of thing. It is Complex. There is a lot of paperwork that has to be submitted to strange and vaguely threatening government accountants. When Mirio and Izuku start their agency, they will burst into tears multiple times trying to figure it out once filing season rolls around, bundle all the paperwork in a Massive Tears And Shame Package, mail it off to the shadowy powers at be, and then get a perfunctory notice that they are getting a ludicrous amount of the city budget allotted to their dinky little agency for the upcoming fiscal year because they are Big Fucking Heroes and enormously good at what they do and it reflects in their stats. They will then lay on the ground of their haunted fucking office and stare at the ceiling for a very long period of time.
But this puts the heroes in competition with each other. Your public funding is chained to your stats under this model. There's only so many criminals out there--you've got to get the right numbers or it cuts into how much of a slush fund the agency is working with.
It's sort of an insane model for a public servant position, but I think it matches with what canon shows us. Imagine having firefighters pitted against each other. like, having a competitive model for public safety raises extreme concerns about how it incentivizes public servants to act.
But this isn't canon's model. It's my guess as to how canon works based on the hints i can remember and my own mental illness. So why do I think canon suggests a model like this?
It's because 1) canon does establish that heroes are in competition with one another and 2) this kind of model would likely be necessary due to the level of autonomy that heroes have.
The literal first fight we see involves heroes in competition with each other. Kamui Woods is doing a big Ultimate Move, and Mount Lady rushes in and steals the show. Like. that is crazy behavior if we are looking at this through the lens of a typical public servant. Imagine you're trying to get directions from a park ranger and a different park ranger kick flips in with a map and a desperate need for you to get your directions from them instead. You call poison control and they’re beating each other in the head over who gets to tell you you’re dying.
Still, on its own, the competition isn’t dispositive, because the private income streams (we'll get there) would incentivize competition even if public funding wasn't based on it. But the level of autonomy that hero offices exhibit also suggest some kind of competition model.
Heroics agencies are not run like a typical police force or fire station. With most entities that function as first responders, they respond to some kind of centralized force (like 911 call centers) and they have highly regulated resource distribution. Like, police forces are restricted to a specific jurisdiction. Within that jurisdiction they have multiple districts and officers typically stay in their district. They're not going to a different fucking city because they think the crime is cooler there.
But Endeavor does exactly that. He's like "hello, son who hates me. Let's go to Hosu because I want to fuck with the hero killer for street cred. won't you come along. It is non-optional" and todoroki says "i hate you father and will abandon you on our father son trip to set a serial killer on fire with my mind. it will be for mildly gay reasons."
These agencies aren't a centralized public service. They are all just off doing their own thing. They're not responding to specific areas as allotted to them by the city--they just fuck off and do whatever. Like, there's probably some coordination between agencies as to who is covering what patrol, but it likely would be more out of courtesy than formal requirement. People wouldn't step on each other's toes nearly as much if there was more of a structure to this.
Typical public agencies who receive funding in accordance with staffing and budgetary needs have more structure and formality than is exhibited in canon. Heroics Agencies act like they're all independent contractors. They probably function like grant money recipients, where they're all fighting for the same pool of funds. You have to write in and show why you deserve that money when that's the case. They're in competition with each other.
Like, is this definitively the structure in canon? No, of course not. I have no fucking idea what, if anything, canon has going on. But it definitely fits with canon.
b. Private Income Streams
We know from canon that it can't just be public funding. Izuku alone probably paid for the Mighty Agency private jet with how much fucking all might merch he bought. Canonically, heroes have merchandise lines, branding deals, commercials, everything. All Might had fucking movies made about him. Those are all extremely lucrative income streams--and likely where the richest heroes get the biggest brunt of their income.
In order to get this kind of income, you are necessarily in competition with your fellow hero.
Public attention, spending money, screen time, all of it--it's a limited resource. You have to be the person who gets to the fight first, who does the big move, who saves the day. If it's someone else? Then that's another kid buying their action figure instead of yours. Heroics is heavily commoditized in canon, and that inherently invites competition.
2. Distribution of Funds
So now that we have a theory as to where the money comes from, how does it get paid out? Based on canon, it comes down to a structure of (a) Independent/Underground Heroes and (b) Agencies.
a. Independent/Underground Heroes
I can't actually remember if the word "independent" is said in canon or if I came up with it, but I think canon implies its existence. It's basically the same thing as being an underground hero, but you're still a Spotlight hero. I also cannot remember if the underground/spotlight thing is canon or fanon or what I’m sorry I haven’t watched this show in years.
Independents are spotlight heroes without the backing of an agency. They just go out every day with the clothes on their back and a dream. They have no support staff, no back up, and no one to help them if things go sideways.
It is not a popular employment option.
Part of it is because it's that much harder to fund being an independent. Like. Say you're just out of high school and you decide to strike out on your own as independent. You're still spotlight, so you can have a merchandise line, and that'd be a nice income stream while you're just starting out.
How the fuck do you start your own t-shirt line?
How do you make contracts with the manufacturers? How do you make and copyright the design? how do you sell the stupid things? Do you try and get them in Walmart? Do you start an Etsy? Your own website? do you call your mom and cry when you have 500 ugly t-shirts with your face on them that no one wants to buy and they're taking up all the space in your studio apartment.
Agencies have preexisting structures in place to help launch these kinds of options, which is one of the reasons why they're so attractive for baby heroes just starting out. The only reason why Mirio has merchandise is because he decided that he didn't care and didn't need to make merch and Izuku came after him with feverish crack addict energy because he cared and he needed Lemillion merch like. yesterday. All Might ended up getting his agency to start a lemillion line. Mirio gets the profits with a reasonable fee to the Mighty Agency. To this day he suspects that Izuku is 70% of his sales but Izuku denies this fervently, like a liar (he actually has a small but very devoted fanbase who rabidly support him and buy all of his merch. he would cry if he knew this. Still. Izuku is his biggest fan and buys literally every single piece of new merch in triplicate.).
Underground heroes are in the same boat as independents but they don't even have the option of a merch line. They exclusively get public funding unless they're backed by an agency, which none of them are because agencies have a tendency to fuck them and their busts for the sake of the spotlight. All underground heroes are bitter and culturally opposed to agencies.
On that note:
b. Agencies.
This is where by far the most heroes would end up. But an agency is like thirty dudes with the same joint bank account. How does the money get there and get distributed out?
i. Public Funding in an Agency Context
Take the above model. How do you attribute public funds based on personal statistics if there's no single person? Does everyone get their own check? But that wouldn't make sense--this isn't just for salaries, it's for funding the actual heroics itself.
Everyone under the same agency would be counted together for the purposes of funding allotment. If Sidekick A managed 300 busts last year and Sidekick B man managed 350 busts, then congratulations, The Big Hero Hero Agency made 650 busts last year, here's a check made out to the agency, figure out what you want to do with it.
But what about incidents that involve multiple heroes from the same agency? Let's say that The Big Hero Hero Agency is involved in a big bust. It is Sidekick A's baby. They have spent months doing this. This has been blood, sweat, and tears. When the day comes, they are joined by Sidekick B, Sidekick C, and Big Hero himself. Sidekick B has been helping Sidekick A for the past three weeks on this case. Sidekick C got called in the day-of to help.
Big Hero showed up for the last twenty minutes of the fight when they were mostly done with everything.
So. You're filling out the post-arrest paperwork. For funding and for public statistics, you need to make sure to properly account for who gets credit for the bust. It has to be one person--if you had everyone individually credit themselves for the bust, then it looks like you've resolved four incidents instead of one under this financial model. it's artificially inflating your numbers for public funding. that's fraud. Who should get the credit: Sidekick A, Sidekick B, Sidekick C, or Big Hero?
Well, there's nothing stopping Big Hero from writing their own name. So let's go with Big Hero. He helped.
This was one of the big sources of the sidekick strikes: a lot of agencies had an absolute policy of attributing successes to the name hero if they touched the case at all, because there was no rule against it. It was better for the agency, after all--unrealistically high numbers on the biggest name meant the agency as a whole appeared more successful.
So there were a lot of heroes artificially inflating their stats with things that were more properly credited to their sidekicks. Which made it all the harder for sidekicks to leave because their stats were shit because their boss was taking credit for their work.
ii. Private Funding in an Agency Context
But that’s just public funding. How would agencies distribute private income streams?
Big Hero Agency is proud to announce its newest line of Big Hero Action Figures, featuring the Entire Big Hero Team, now retailing for $39.99. Get it now from a store near you.
So. An agency is selling an action figure line featuring Sidekicks A, B, and C, as well as Big Hero himself. We’ll round up to an even $40. How do we split up the cash?
You can’t give everyone each $10. You have to first pay the suppliers, the advertisers, the trucks that shipped the toys to the store, etc. Then you have to pay back into the agency to fund miscellaneous expenses—the stationary, the insurance, the coffee in the fucking break room. Everything. By the end, there’s only $4 of profit left over. Not great, but hey—they’re selling a lot of toys. So if they each get a $1, then it should add up quick.
Right. But. If you think about it, people are only really buying it for Big Hero. He’s the best hero of all of them—his name is on the agency, and just look at how much higher his stats are. So it’s only fair that he gets $3.70 a toy and the rest of them can get $.10 apiece. Don’t worry, it’ll add up quick.
Not all agencies would have been like this. But a lot of them would be. Money is a hell if an incentive to screw people.
END OF ASIDE.
With all that in mind—why would they feasibly have a structure to fly in help from other heroes far away? That’s their fucking competition. Sure, we have team ups, but they’re all either well in advance or in the heat of a moment. If they are in the heat of a moment, half the time the heroes resent it because they just stole their fight. They’re gonna what—pay the exorbitant jet fees to fly in someone who’s just going to steal their hard work in the eyes of the public?
Okay, but what about situations like this? Massive emergencies where you need more people?
Those haven’t ever happened before. They had All Might.
So. The heroes on the ground calling in help are out. What about the heroes who are close enough to make it there by ground transport? No one calls them, they just show up out of public need. How are they getting there?
Trains are out. All the trains into the area are shut the fuck down. We are not giving the freshly escaped villains a bullet train to the rest of the country. Same thing for buses. No fucking bus driver is making their regular route into a fucking battleground.
Private transportation it is. Anything more than a few hours out of the area is completely out of the question. Like, good ol’ Manuel from Hosu City and all his buddies? Not making it. The wild wild pussycats? Watched this on TV from their mountain home. Gran Torino? On FaceTime with All Might, who is watching the fight with Midoriya Inko’s hand gripped in his left and Bakugou Mitsuki’s hand gripped in his right. Gang Orca? Twelve hours away and on a fucking island so he needs a boat AND a car to get there. Or he just fucking swims.
But there has to be at least some hero that saw this happening and heroically climbed in their Mazda sedan to make the three hour car trip. Why didn’t they go to the fight in Yokohama instead of the one against AfO?
Frankly at that point those literal children were visibly doing way better than the actual heroes were faring and any heroes showing up went where they were most needed and uh. It wasn’t by the kids.
If we have the agency model as given to us by canon, then that means there is a decentralization of resources. If you want to utilize your public defense force in the case of emergencies, then you need a way to fucking get them to the emergency. Canon does not have that. This is a huge structural failing that only wasn’t a disaster sooner because most emergencies required one guy and he had his own private jet. So most heroes in the country never had to even consider if they would listen to Endeavor’s order because they were completely cut off and useless at the time.
So. Now the analysis has been narrowed from all of Japan’s heroes to just the ones in the immediate vicinity of the fight. That’s still a fuck ton of heroes. This is a heavily populated area with a bunch of heroes around. You can’t go outside without tripping over a hero.
Most of those guys were on fucking strike.
Structural Flaw #2: Over-Reliance on and Abuse of Sidekicks.
The vast majority of the workforce had to be sidekicks. Like, just from a business model perspective. Even the smallest agencies we saw had 2-3 sidekicks. Endeavor’s agency had at least double digits, and I think Idaten was at over a hundred or something. We were probably looking at, conservatively, a 1:10 ratio of heroes to sidekicks.
All those guys are on strike.
Okay. But not all of them, right? Idaten already settled and got their sidekicks back. That’s like a hundred guys.
Except the Strike was not isolated to the Tokyo/Mustufasa/Yokohama area. Idaten sent out a lot of their sidekicks to other regions to help alleviate some of the strains of the strike. (As a note, this was not the Idaten sidekicks crossing the picket line. Them picking up the slack for other sidekicks still striking would have helped minimize effects on the public. However, the agencies of the striking sidekicks would have reaped no benefit from this under the compensation structure outlined above. Idaten would have gotten the credit for everything their sidekicks did, so the other agencies would still be bleeding from this while risk to the public was slightly alleviated. Idaten’s entire function in this strike was to set an example for quick settlement and minimize public harm. There’s this entire sub-analysis on Idaten’s internal culture and how it intersects with broader heroics standards that I won’t get into now this is already way too long.)
Idaten is at 1/10 capacity. It has like, ten guys, all of whom have been working say, thirteen hour shifts (voluntarily—again, it was a decision made to try and minimize the public safety risks of the strike while still allowing their colleagues their best chance at improved conditions) daily for the past month.
All of those ten guys responded to Tartarus before Endeavor made the call.
To understand the exact nature of the breakdown, you really have to see the chaos of how exactly this unfolded.
The LoV and their merry band of criminals hit Tartarus. The heroes do not realize at this time that they intend to let everyone out, give them transportation, and point them straight towards the mainland. They think that they���re just there for AfO. That’s still a huge crisis that needs to be shut down immediately, so they call out all of their best. Endeavor responds. Hawks responds. Eraserhead responds. Mt. Lady, Kamui Woods, Miruko—everyone in the vicinity who could conceivably respond show up. For a second, it looks like it’s going to end here.
Once the LoV get AfO out of his cell, the entire tide of the battle turns against the heroes. Now everyone’s out. All of those horrible, terrible villains. Tartarus has fallen. They have to make hard decisions. The high ranking, very powerful heroes who are most likely to break the line on Endeavor’s decision? They’re already at the fight by the time he has to make it. It is chaos and something they cannot easily leave.
The LoV’s picked right now because they knew that the heroes were operating at less than a tenth of their regular capacity. They picked right now because they knew the system had structural faults, and if they hit them just right, it would all come down on the heroes’ heads.
But the sidekicks broke strike lines to respond, right? Why do they all go to endeavor’s side?
For one thing, it wasn’t all of them who showed up—maybe a third of them were not even in the area any more. It wasn’t malicious, or intentional, or anything like that—they were off visiting their families for the first time in a long time or taking vacation. All of them had spent the past few years being completely overworked and abused by their jobs. They just weren’t there.
So now we’re down to 2/3rds of them who can even try to show up.
A lot of it wasn’t actually made as a reasoned choice. For many of them, they ended up where they did because of all the chaos.
So you’re a sidekick. You’re on strike. The entire world has gone to shit. How do you normally find out about the world going to shit?
This is a competition model streamed through individual entities. There’s no central command structure. Your agency calls you.
Well, your agency either fucking fired you or they cut you off completely during strike negotiations. This time, you find out through the news when the story breaks. Now what?
You frantically try to get in touch with your (ex) agency. Who is picking up the phones?
No one. That was your fucking job before you went on strike.
I used to work at a government public-service type deal, and let me tell you, they abuse the fuck out of non-unionized workers. You are doing everyone’s job. No one ask why we don’t get more support staff because they have unions. Like. I had a law degree. I was hired to be a lawyer in that office. They had us all doing the jobs of four people, and by that I mean it would be the literal entire job description of another fucking position in that office and we were all expected to just do it too.
Unions incentivize treating workers right. The absence of them opens the door to the opposite.
Why the fuck would agencies hire more people to lighten the load on the sidekicks and let them focus on actual heroics? Just make the sidekicks do everything. What are they going do, complain? They’re a dime a dozen. Hire more of those fresh faced kids with no standards just out of school.
You know when you had a job where you’re like. This fucking place is going to fall apart without me. But they treat you as disposable and easily replaceable and you’re like “okay bet” and so you leave and you find out from the people left behind that it actually fucking fell apart without you and you’re just like :o
Yeah. So that happened.
There has been a massive break down in the function of heroics offices for the past month and change because the sidekicks were not there. They were the ones who actually did most of the day to day handling of the office. They were the ones coordinating transport and figuring out the actual mechanics of who would be deployed where in a crisis. All those things that would be super helpful now? Yeah, those guys aren’t there, and they’re locked out of the fucking offices and can’t get in to un-strike for the sake of societal crisis.
But they know where the fight is. It’s on the news. Why don’t they just show up?
Where’s their gear?
Who owns it?
Heroics support gear must be an enormously expensive thing. It would have to be provided by the agency itself. Literally the only reason why Mirio has gear is because 1) all might would NEVER let his pseudo step son run around without proper support so the man would have bankrolled it himself if needs must and 2) the UA support class has a stipend each year where they can make support gear for active heroes and those heroes get it for free in exchange for free advertising for the students trying to kick start their careers, so he is decked out in THE most experimental bullshit from Hatsume Mei Industries (I have this entire side plot where the support class this class year low key became a sort of religious cult haha not really it’s just a joke it’s not really a joke and power loader is afraid every single day when he comes to work he is afraid under the iron clad rule of Hatsume Mei’s weird girl energy and they all decided Mirio was the Tabula Rasa, a figure of prophecy, and I just cannot get into that right now it’s too long it’s too long already. But it’s so fun).
All those sidekicks on strike lost valuable time trying to get back into their agencies so they weren’t showing up to an S-class villain fight in their fucking jammies. Then, when some poor admins figured out what was going on and let some of them in, everyone was frantically gearing up and getting in whatever transport van they were pointed at. Some of them didn’t know they werent reporting to Yokohama until they were already at the other fight. There’s was so much chaos and confusion that very few people had a clear idea of what was happening.
With the sidekicks, some of them never made it, some of them just got in a van and went wherever it took them, and some of them chose to obey Endeavor’s orders. Some agreed with the decision. Some disagreed but deferred to his experience. With how the Sidekick Strike had left their infrastructure, very few sidekicks were able to respond fast enough to make any real difference.
Now for the last possible demographic: the heroes that weren’t on strike and weren’t initially deployed to the Tartarus Prison Break. Why didn’t any of them go to Yokohama?
Structural Flaw #3: All Might was that one kid doing the entire group project for like forty years and some of these people are having to be heroes for the very first time and realizing that they don’t actually want to risk their lives to save people they just sort of liked the idea of this job.
It may be a bit too specific to be a structural flaw but I’m counting it anyway.
So, just to give a bit of a recap: We consider every hero alive in Japan as a candidate for Endeavor’s order. The vast majority of them are too far away to do shit, and there’s no centralized transport network to get them there faster. Toss in those who are dealing with personal medical issues or are away on vacation or just can’t come for some reason or another, and you’ve lost most of the heroes in Japan as respondents. Probably ~80% of potential heroes are culled from this alone.
So we have, generously, 20% of Japan’s heroes left as potential people to respond. ~90% of those are sidekicks on strike. They’ve got hours before they make it to any fight, because of the aforementioned structural breakdowns.
Now we’re down to 2% of Japan’s total heroes.
Some of that 2% were first responders to the initial Tartarus prison break. All the big name heroes in the area. But there can’t be that many top heroes—so let’s say 0.2% of them were at the initial fight.
Now we only have the remaining 1.8% of heroes to analyze.
There have to be a percentage of those who agreed with Endeavor’s call as a tactical decision. If they show up to any fight, they’re going to be obeying his order.
So we only have the ones who disagreed with his call left to look at.
These are small-time heroes. All of the big names are already at the fight. So they are less likely to have flashy Quirks, be especially talented, or consider themselves to have an especially large effect in the grand scheme of things. They have likely spent their entire careers living in a world with All Might.
It has never actually been down to them.
Think of Uwabami. Momo did her work study with her.
Her hero outfit is a fucking evening gown. She spent the entire work study doing commercials and meeting with her fans. She explicitly invited the young heroes that she did because she thought they were cute enough to be in commercials with her.
Now, she’s had some good if minor moments helping rescue civilians. It’s not that she’s never saved anyone.
But all of the top heroes are already committed to the fight against AfO. The current Number One Hero just ordered all her colleagues to report there. And Yokohama has a lot of S-Class villains en route.
And what the fuck is she going to do to stop them? It’s just her. Half of those villains took All Might to stop the first time. She is not fucking all might.
Is this a hero likely to go to Yokohama completely on her own to fight *checks notes* literally the entire prison population minus one guy? The worst guy, albeit. But one guy.
These are all heroes who have never had to be the actual thing standing between society and destruction. There has always been someone more powerful or capable or heroic nearby. Until recently, there has always been all might.
This isn’t to malign them. A decent percentage of them are legitimately well meaning about being a hero. They do good. But when it came to the big, blowout fights, they have always, always, always been the heroes evacuating civilians in the background or performing rescue in the aftermath. It has never been them who had to stand up and do the fight itself.
Every single one of those villains represent a big, blowout fight. And this hero trying to decide if he’s going to obey Endeavor’s order? They are one guy. And they’re not sure if they could even beat one of those villains alone, let alone all.
The reason why no one disobeyed Endeavor’s order was because, frankly, at the end of the day, they did not want to die.
Endeavor’s order signaled to everyone that there was no guarantee anyone would show up to Yokohama. It actually put good odds to the opposite. If you decided “fuck that, I’m going to Yokohama” then you’d likely be doing it alone.
What Class 2-A did was considered a death sentence. People who didn’t know them and their bullshit were shocked that they all made it out alive. These were the worst villains their society had ever faced and it was all of them at once (minus that one guy).
The heroes who were in a position to disobey endeavor didn’t actually think it’d make a difference if they did. They’d just… lose.
Most if not all of these heroes made the decision to become heroes during all mights era of peace. Everything just had lower stakes. Crime was less frequent and less serious. The big fights always had someone there who could handle them, because All Might was there. They’d fight the odd mugger or purse snatcher and help put out fires and go home at the end of the night. They’re heroes. That doesn’t mean they’ve ever truly had to grapple with a life or death fight.
If they went to Yokohoma, they thought they’d die. So they might as well respond to a fight that has a chance. Even if they feel ashamed as they do it. Even if they think Endeavor made the wrong call and wanted to go to Yokohama instead. All Might wasn’t there anymore. And they were afraid.
But there is one thing that Class 2-A had going for them that gave them an advantage over these heroes. And that was the fact that they are all medically insane.
It’s that they were together.
It’s a decentralized heroics structure. If you have a large agency, you are necessarily a top hero because no one else would be able to get that many people to agree to work under them. So you’re already at Tartarus and this isn’t a decision you had to make.
Maybe you’re independent. Maybe you have a small agency with 2-3 people. There is no preexisting centralized line that you can use to try and gather more people to go to Yokohama with you. You’re stuck with your immediate colleagues and maybe a few other heroes you’re close enough with to have their number. You really don’t have time to try and ask around to see if anyone else wants to go to Yokohama instead—you need to pick a battle and get there yesterday.
What good is 2-3 people going to do in Yokohama? You’ll just get massacred and it won’t have made a difference. At least if you go to stop AfO, you’ll have a chance at doing something that mattered.
Maybe you disagree with Endeavor but you defer to his training and experience.
Maybe you don’t go at any fight at all. Maybe you’re afraid. Maybe you became a hero in a time where you had a symbol of peace, and you realize you can’t keep doing it in a time without one.
I think there’s a small subsection of heroes that quit in the aftermath of Yokohama. Because they wanted to disobey endeavor’s order, and they thought they’d just die and it wouldn’t matter, and then dawn came and a bunch of school kids had managed what they were too big of a coward to do. I think the fact that they fell into line when their hearts told them they shouldn’t made them seriously doubt whether they were good enough to be a hero.
But they were alone when Endeavor made the call. And it felt like certain death. And—yeah, it sort of felt that way to Class 2-A when they made the decision to respond. But they weren’t alone when they did it.
They were together. And they always felt braver when they were together. Together, they could make miracles happen.
#pez dispenser debris#me with fictional worlds: where is your city planner I just want to talk#none of the heroes were happy at the thought of abandoning Yokohama#Yokohama didn’t happen because the heroes actually all got together and said ‘fuck those guys let ‘em die’#it was an absolute implosion of the heroics structure that they’d spent their entire careers working on#in my mind there’s a heroics organizational reform bill still making its way through the Japanese government in an attempt to correct the#structural failings that led to Yokohama happening. Aizawa keeps getting calls for his fucking kids to speak to the government about the#issue. and he’s like ‘absolutely not someone will tell them to do a flip and they will do it and cause a public incident’#no one said it out loud but everyone was sort of terrified that one of them would die at Yokohama#you could choke on the fear during the ride over#but they didn’t know what else to do. Yokohama needed heroes and all they had were them#but when you think of Yokohama think of all the big boss fights during bnha#not afo but like. overhaul. now think of fighting a few dozen of him at once. it’s. it’s not great odds.#the idea of just responding alone in the face of that is a nonstarter. and the decentralized nature of the system meant it was borderline#impossible to get the support needed to make a defense feasible. but class 2a had each other. and that was all they needed.#going to Yokohama the next day and it not having been a bloodbath was the biggest relief of those heroes lives#endeavor had never had a good relationship with shouto but he went to him in the hospital after and genuinely thanked him#I have this mental image of Iida. concussed four times over running on fumes and slightly delirious. desperately trying to keep it together#just a little while long. he has a list of the injured who need immediate evacuation. and his classmates. some of them need to be taken to#a hospital immediately. he made a list of their medication allergies. please ensure everyone is taken to the same hospital. he doesn’t think#he could bear it if they were scattered about. and he needs to help coordinate the transports of the villains from where they’ve been#containing them. and one of the Idaten sidekicks is like. Tenya. it’s okay. you did amazing. you can relieve command now. they’ll take it#from here. and he just says. okay. and he sits on the curb and cries. he asks them if one of them could call his brother. he’d. he’d really#like to come home if that’s okay. just for a few days. he just. he wants to go home. like the aftermath of that scene was kind of brutal to#process because on one hand they had all done so amazing but on the other they were so painfully young. a lot of them broke down in the#aftermath. kirishima got embarrassed because he started crying and asked mr Aizawa to call his moms. like once the adrenaline crashed it#all sort of hit them. they had all been so brave but also they were kids and they really really wanted their parents now if that’s alright#they know they’re heroes now and they have to be brave but also can someone please call their mom. please please please they just want their#mom. it was sort of a punch in the face for the full heroes to get there and see just how young these kids were. like these weren’t they’re#colleagues. these were kids who they didn’t protect. it hurt.
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FUN VALUE 62: The Eccentric Genius
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Isn't it odd how firsts are seconds? As in, should we consider the order of exposure by FUN value or follower number? Though I suppose goners are not meant to be linear at all. This is why all of the Followers reiterate that central piece of the story, yet, each of them offer an unique perspective that helps us piece together not only Dr. W.D. Gaster's current condition, but who he is as a character.
No, there is no typical way to look at a character who defies the very notion of a written script. To be atypical among the already strange, to fit right in yet feel so obviously alien, the sole lump of hard coal among shiny gems.
It makes sense why ASGORE took so long to hire a new Royal Scientist.
After all, the old one... Dr. Gaster. What an act to follow!
They say he created the CORE.
Coal that burns the most effectively and brings light to all around him, in more ways than one. Impossible only until someone steps forward and makes it possible, to pursue the most absurd of ideas and be stared at with either unease or awe, to make it an act to follow.
From the occasional inconvenient property damage, the unecessarily bulky gadget that looks like it came straight out of a cartoon ...
... to the grand opening speech nobody got a single word of but applauded for the flashy lights anyway.
However, his life... Was cut short.
One day, he fell into his creation, and...
Will Alphys end up the same way?
This bit can be particularly misleading at first glance, alluding to the idea of an accident or, possibly, a suicide of sorts. We already know how this bit played out, however, the mention of either instance is purposeful in a way the ideas complement each other.
To be special is to be strange, and loneliness is often the price of brilliance. It can be difficult to escape feelings of alienation when people seem to get along so naturally without having to make a conscious effort to understand and be understood. This parallel with Alphys isn't only due to their shared position, but the taxing demand for excellence that comes with it in exchange for belonging.
It wouldn't be a absurd to speculate that, possibly, Alphys would one day have a manic episode that would both be her greatest stunt and her last breath in this earth. Ah, but this is where they deviate, isn't it?
Beloved Dr. Wacky Dingus, too in love with life to leave it, yet never satisfied not to risk it - who continues to offer mystery and wonder, once through light, now through dark.
#FUN VALUE X#headcanons#wd gaster#gaster#undertale#deltarune#not sure i have articulated this like i wanted but hey#cinematic thinkers when they have to do descriptive writing:#left a bunch of things out because i meant to make this about this piece of dialogue alone ahh#only part 1 of a lengthy dissection of clues that lead up to ideas#anyway haha enjoy my thought process on characterization for this man#because this is about characterization i do not mean to get too deep into shattering what-is-going-on theories#i did it i named this collection it will be called fun value x#x values#like x files#i am so good at titles (not)#i love you mad scientist grandpa dnw you belong in my Heart#sigh can i jump to value 91 already i want to talk about goner kid so bad#this is my yeah he has a personality actually sorry#an entire charater archetype even (filing my nails cuntily)#pet peeve: “hah as if gaster has a personality that we know of” (vaporizing you with my comically large cartoon laser)#/lighthearted#but also /srs#its ok im here to spread the vision anyway
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i always feel like there's such an underappreciated aspect of lumpus being the one to have feelings for slinkman (over the years) which is that there's something so Hilarious about him wanting to dump his head in a vat of acid because he's thinking stupid mushy shit, or Worse, about this Thing again
who also does not pick up on this at all and just thinks he's being weird again
#camp lazlo#talk#shipping stuff#scoutmaster lumpus#slinkman#slinkman.jpg is always there for us#you love your silly little slug don't you scoutmaster lumpus...#''an underappreciated aspect'' there's only like 3 people in the world who've ever written in-depth thoughts about them in general syd#it's just so easy for me because i also see slinkman doing anything and i'm like (holding my head in my hands) wtf#My Beloved Slinkman Calms Me Down#i think about it a lot though because before i started joining in over here#slinkman being the one with the crush is what i would see like 99% of the time#but i Literally had to actually go and plot things out for lumpus to get better before i could see slinkman liking him back#and that's also why i have this Entire larger picture here#where in the grand scheme of things i'm not even really imposing on canon in that way...#i'm not really planning for tension to be at the forefront there#its some other weird shit going on. y'know. until other stuff gets revealed in the past and the future#the whole process here is like a 30-year journey we're taking the advanced course and still not ending with anything labelled#so i do get it especially with lumpus being preoccupied with jane#and yet still not for a moment have i subscribed to slinkman having feelings first ☝️
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actually first ep of Voyager where Janeway talks to Tuvok about how his family misses him is that when she says they Worry about him Tuvok contradicts her and claims that Vulcans don't do that but when she corrects and says they Miss him he accepts this and admits he misses them too; implying perhaps a pedantic difference between 'Vulcans do not Feel Emotions' (false) and 'Vulcans do not Act Out of Emotion' (accurate) -> 'Miss/Longing' is an emotion, but 'Worry' is an action one does out of emotion -> one Vulcans do; one Vulcans do not.
#N posts stuff#continuation of thoughts from my last post bc i can smell the counterarguments of 'vulcans are not emotional and are#therefore not impulsive and therefore no vulcan child Would run off unattended' which is Wrong#but also a half formulated thought regarding: how often characters will CLAIM that 'vulcans don't do X' and how often#people take that at face value instead of accepting it as like. a character motivated Lie that is being told lol#ie) when Spock claims 'Vulcans don't Have emotions' this is a lie he tells because 1) it's funny to him or 2) this is an Exaggerated#expectation he feels put on him BC other vulcans are more ready to judge his behavior based purely on the knowledge of his#half human genetics -> Spock is forced to hold a Higher standard just to get others to acknowledge they are Minimally equal#ALT: we do Know that Vulcan emotions are deeper/more intense than they visibly show; it doesn't feel Standardized to me that#daily Vulcan culture would DENY the existence of emotions entirely (unless one undergoes Kohlinar which seems to be a Rarer#and more Intense lifestyle Choice SOME vulcans make) bc that Feels like it would be a Lie which wouldn't be Logical to uphold#BUT i Can see conversations About those emotions being one of those things Vulcans keep extraordinarily close to their chest#in Amok Time Spock was ready to Die before he'd tell anyone about a biochemical process his body was experiencing; I can see#emotions as a whole being an almost Equally intimate thing to share w/ outsiders -> hence the 'Vulcans Don't experience emotion'#claim being made in broader Outside society ; you'd talk about it w/ other vulcans but Not with a bunch of humans#(Spock being an arguable Exception to this standard BC of the 'has to uphold a Higher Standard just to be permitted on even ground)#this post is a lot of thinking aloud idk how much coherence there is here but it's fun to think about on many paths
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every time I come back home I experience new mental illnesses -_-
#its not even bad rn it's been nice#there's just so much horrible stuff underneath it all though and i think i just can't handle it#i think im just grieving my entire life every time I come here#and I've been just having these thoughts i guess intrusive thoughts about everyone dying tragically for the laste few days and it's#NOT FUCKING HELPING#idk it's nice we're all nice and both is happening but there's always some new info dropped on me that they just.#expect me to process by myself and i just end up crying at night all the time cause like what am i supposed to do#yeah sorry for venting again i was getting a bit better at not doing tht but i neeed it rn ToT#k i think i just need to go to sleep and maybe ill forget everything tomorrow or something idk#vent#vent post
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Orb...

+ process kinda
#istg lineart is just a horrible terrible thing LOL#i sketch and it goes very well and i am very happy and i feel very creative!!!#i have to do lineart and it makes me want to give up the piece .....#i get to paint and im like omg i could do this for hours !!! this is so fun !!!!!!#thus: orb#im very happy w it so thats why im posting#idk how long the actual piece is gonna take so might as well post a little sneak peak ig#lmfao i gave up on the crown bcs it was too complicated and then drew this. maybe the crown will come back. prob not#im surprised w the process of this. i usually struggle a lot w accurately referencing real life things#and i usually end up tracing them just to understand how the form works#and god ive drawn so many complicated things for this piece and havent had to trace at all???? okay?????#i mean ofc its not entirely accurate bcs the craftsmanship on the original orb is actually insane#but i think ive got it down p well :)#ill have to try to make the gold look a bit better at some point later on but for now its !!!#i like how half my art i post here is either chibis#or just the most brainrot intense historically detailed shit ever#yes no one i talk to probably knows what a globus cruciger is but GOD DAMN IT IM GONNA DRAW IT ACCURATELY#had this thought ^ when i looked at my top posts and my last post was those nando chibis#and then after a week of not drawing after that im like yeah let me draw several imperial relics#catie.art.
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On occasion, when the Archons gather themselves and their companions together to rekindle the harmony of a generation long past, Ei will see the ghost of her departed sister in a stranger clad in blue and a wide, circular hat.
It is a strange comparison, because they are nothing alike.
Hello everyone here’s a short fic I wrote about Wanderer resembling Makoto in very specific ways because of the link between her death and why Wanderer was created. (Not a reconciliation fic. That family enstrangement is still enstranging)
#scaramouche#wanderer#raiden ei#raiden makoto#genshin#genshin tangents#fic tag#writing#writing tag#hat radish#hat radish is relevant here becwuse beinf hatradishpilled is a full time job and i did not mean for thrm#to be vaguely relevant throughout the entire thing but they are#SEE my thought process was. I think the only circumstance wanderer wojld go anywhere near where he knows ei or Yae would be#is if he were with someone he liked. NUDHCJD#also it works thematically. this is my justification#fic: source of inspiration
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#like i have So Many Thoughts about this stuff rotating in my head pretty much constantly#(i tried to write the post. i did. i get stuck after a sentence or two every time i do)#the things i want to say are right there! the will to write them is right there!#it's just. this is not my language. it takes a lot of mental processing power to get Any words onto a screen#and i think i'm fairly fluent! i still get caught up in turns of phrases and spelling words and picking the right prepositions and whatnot#do you have any idea how scathingly smart i am in finnish#how good of a writer#and all of that gets muddled up by using a wrong language#all the Actual Thoughts i want to convey get buried under anxiety about word choices#usually i don't mind at all. usually the things i write here are light and short enough that it doesn't matter#with light and short things you can either choose to ignore any dumb language mistakes Or you can very quickly check them#but when you want to take a closer look at an entire culture and talk about its impact on people?#and sprinkle in some very vulnerable personal ideas too?#it's not a light and quick and easy thing to write. and constantly stopping to check things Will destroy the flow#i just. i have thoughts and no satisfactory way to share them and that sucks!!!#eughhhh#sussitalk
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It might just be a lot of things. I really don't know. I don't like not having any energy after work but it staves off a lot of our thought processes but at the same time I don't love it. It's tolerable but I want to be doing something else. I wanna be in the dirt and I want to feel the earth under my feet and I want to know she's listening to me and telling me it's ok and I want to take care of her like she's taken care of me. I want to plant trees and cut back weeds and learn to identify our native plants and I just can't do any of that and make a living. It's not even a volunteer opportunity for me. I'm just some random citizen who didn't even go to school for any of it. And I'm so lonely. I'm the loneliest I've been. I love all my friends online I do. Truly and wholly but it doesn't help the fact that I have no one around me irl. And it hurts. And I'm scared. And I am so small all the time. And I just want it to change.
#elias.zip#i think. that dreamis affecting me a little more than I thought it did. it really exemplified that I feel like everyone sees me as not tryin#g to make connections in my adult life but im in a dead town with an aging population i didnt grow up in or around. i can't find public even#ts that would get me around people my age. I can't drive still to go places anyways and I struggle so fucking with the entire process anyway#s that even with the stars aligned I fuck myself over anyways. I'm too weird. too quiet. too loud. not assertive. weird. weird. weird. werid#. just some fucking crybaby.#everyone's moved on from being anxious but not me. I can't do it. i try and try and try and try and push myself out of my comfort zone but n#obody wants new friends. and my interests are too niche. and i dont fit in and nobody wants to be friends with the baby because all he does#is cry and god I've felt worse moving here than i ever did back at the old house and it feels like I'm never going to get to see what cou#ldve been I'm stuck like this!!#sometimes i really wish i could just leave. leave it all. vanlife or backpack or something and learn why i was made to live as a human. i ju#st want to go back home. I wanna see my packmates again. I'll do better this time. Please. I'm sorry
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piplups are typically proud pkmn that are difficult to bond with, so I've been thinking again about what it was like when Junebug first met Henry, their starter 'mon... (cw for vague-ish abuse mentions)
Junebug is incredibly patient and often gives people more grace than should ever be extended to a person (will put up with a lot of incredibly cruel behaviour from others and make excuses for them), so being patient with an initially stand-offish Henry would be not a problem at all. they are also big on researching so they'd have known what they were getting into, even as a young child, when they chose piplup to be their starter.
anyways Junebug quickly realized he didnt like being in a pokeball, so they stopped doing that and put the pokeball up on a high shelf where neither of them could reach it to show they weren't going to use it with him. and he slowly started to trust them more and open up to them more after that - it was a key moment that marked the beginning of Henry considering them to be a potential friend.
when they first received Henry from Rowan (who I imagine travels around the region with a bunch of starters to educate kids about how being a trainer works and get them started on their trainer path), they took him home in the pokeball as one does, and when they let him out once they got up into their room, he refused to even look at them for a good long while. oh the humiliation of being in a pokeball!
but the real bonding finally began once Henry had spent more time around Junebug's parents - they had tried to keep him away from their parents as much as possible to protect him, but ... hard to do when you are a young child living with them sbdjskl. it was a less than ideal way to grow close, but the two of them soon grew inseparable, supporting each other through the rougher times and cheering the other on as they both grew and learned, and covering for the other when someone slipped up. hiding or shredding journals, bandaging scrapes from forbidden ventures off the allowed paths, tucking away ill-gotten bits of food into hiding places, comforting each other after nightmares or after being reprimanded/punished, nudging the other if they're "misbehaving", standing look-out when the other needs to do something against the rules, etc etc etc.
making an intolerable situation somewhat bearable! bonding while stuck in an unsafe environment! growing up together while trapped under an abuser's thumb! the whole works !
#abuse tw#I've been avoiding bringing up any angst stuff but ... there is so much and it is stifling to avoid it entirely fjdkdl#i could say smth abt how my real life would be considered angst yadda yadda processing and talking abt it in a safe way yadda yadda#but fjdksl idk i dont think that whole speech is necessary#I'll give the proper CWs as needed and ppl can ask for more if they want#i probably will never go into like. actual detail bc honestly my brain goes staticky if i try to do that even in my own personal writing LOL#so it'll mostly all be pretty vague with some specific nods to things here and there#anyways yay henry :] he's such a sweet lil guy and i want to do more writing and art featuring him fjfkdl#I have so many thoughts abt all of my team but Henry and Greer are the ones who have the most Lore™#junebug 🪲#dandy.cmd
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'i'll cook for you next time.' 'when? tomorrow?' 'ani.' 'then when?' 'hmmn...' *thinks* 'when you look the most adorable'
live footage of inside Gu Won's head:
#tv: king the land#king the land#lee junho#junho 2pm#im yoona#girls generation yoona#yoona snsd#kdrama#local gay watches KTL (and gets diabetes in the process).txt#local gay watches k-dramas.txt#you bet your f*cking ass that man is already out here planning his next move#he's like bitch i'm going to be so normal about this. i'm going to be the most normal man you ever saw#i'm going to roll up to the Bank of Aegyo and take out a loan worth more than their entire stock system if i have to#that's my girlfriend!!!!! she said she'd cook for me if i became more adorable!!!!!#himbo ass man no thoughts head empty just Cheon Sa Rang
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Hey winions has anyone brought this up yet
If I'm hearing it right the Different Beast motif is a melodic reprise of Survive o o it's set to a lower key and is simplified/altered a little but it's basically the same melody
Here lemme prove it with some timestamps-- if you need help visualizing it, listen to the trombone (? tuba?) in Different Beast and sing "six hundred lives at stake" along with it. You'll have to start at the second note of the Different Beast motif, but you're gonna see it I think hopefully. It's especially obvious when the Different Beast motif is brought up in 600 Strike
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Anyway I wound up picking up on this because I was in the weird situation where I listened to Troy and Cyclops saga last (before you come at me for that, I do know the story of the Odyssey from OSP's summary), so when I heard Survive's chorus I was like ":OOO WAIT THAT'S THE MOTIF DIFFERENT BEAST IS REPRISING"
Have fun with this now every time you hear the Different Beast motif come up haha
#epic the musical#music breakdown#hi fellow winions please be nice and not too pissed about my epic listening order haha#the way i got into epic was uh shandzii's scylla and underworld animatics#at the time epic was showing up on my recommended a bit but i didn't click because i thought it was a musical adaptation about epic#y'know the one about the tiny humans#i didn't really care for that movie so i could've cared less about a musical adaptation for it of all things#but oh boy was i wrong#very very wrong#then after listening to scylla and underworld in full i got into some more tho out of order because i am weird and autistic like that#my first epic animatic was gigi's scylla haha#i actually was around for the ithaca saga's release so i did get my shredded with my own knowledge of how the odyssey ends#i actually loved how it was portrayed because like#the wedding bed 🥺#and then i slowly listened to the entire musical bit by bit in my weird autistically picky way#because i heard troy and cyclops were a lot of people's least favorites they were the ones i was the most nervous to listen to#because i got into the later ones first and usually the later ones are better than the former so like how much of a quality curve is there#and then i listened to it and it actually slapped? like i think atm survive is my favorite song because of the ear worm melody#i didn't get *that* attached to polities because i thought he was kinda naive he totally would've been lotus-ed if ody didn't stop him#(and maybe knowing he was bound to die was also part of it)#but i will tell you my jaw DROPPED when i was listening to survive and the he's got a club scene went down#i was so shocked from it i actively stopped for a bit from the work i was doing in school to just listen and process poly's words#learning that polities got pancaked by polyphemus when i knew he died is a whole 'nother level of horror haha#i have a vivid imagination so in underworld i just imagined that oh he probably died in a monster battle or something#but no he got fuckin' PULVERIZED AND IT DIDN'T EVEN ONESHOT HIM THAT IS HORRIFYING#and of course you have ody giving his name and i knew about that from the odyssey so i was team athena the whole time they were arguing hah#like yeah athena's deal with warrior of the mind was fucked up but ODY YOU'RE GIVING POLY YOUR NAME AND IP ADDRESS YOU DUMBASS#THE ONLY WAY IT COULD'VE BEEN WORSE WAS IF YOU TOLD POLY YOUR DAD'S NAME LIKE YOUR O R I G I N A L C O U N T E R P A R T#anyway thea stilton fandom if you're still here for some reason i am making something epic and ts-related that i'ma post soon hehehe
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Complex feelings of the day:
It's heartening to see the crowds at the protests today.
I did not go to the protests today on account that I went to multiple in 2016-2020 and literally everything we were protesting against ended up happening anyways because there was no clear action line from the act of protesting to the act of actually changing things.
Yes visibility and connection to people feeling the same as you about things is nice and can alleviate isolation.
But that alleviation is only temporary because our society is currently designed to promote isolation for the purpose of pursuing capital.
It's surprisingly hard to articulate in a way that the dumb as rocks general public can understand how the capitalistic systems we're currently suffering under is not us leftists saying we want a world without money. Currency existed before capitalism, before feudalism, and most likely as far back as organized trade.
It's unrealistic to say a world without currency can exist because sometimes a person does not have an item or skill to barter with at a particular moment of trade, so eventually we'll end up reinventing the concept of money.
The fact that I can only somewhat name the activists that are also part of some level of government (local, state, or federal) speaks greatly to how desperately the leftist/socialist/whatever-ist needs a figure head (or ideally multiple) to rally around. The closest analog I can think of is like Hasan Piker, which even though I like the guy I don't think is a great choice as a leader of a movement, his skills lie elsewhere.
(this one is aimed more towards PSL and other similar parties and organizations) it's a fucking dumb idea to make the only way to contribute as a party member is as an event organizer/activist/face of the movement. We're not all organizers, some of us want to contribute in a support role and do not want our faces to be the face of the movement.
I remain extremely critical and doubtful of the research surrounding the oft cited "it only takes about 3% of the general [US] public protesting for the people in power to take action on the legislation asks" as much of this observation hinges on the people in power believing in democracy, listening to their constituents, and those movements were done in a time where SuperPacs and legal corporate and wealthy bribery weren't allowed. It's an entirely different power structure we're facing now and like many of the people I've met in life (mostly cis white men tbh), do not give a shit about anything and are incredibly narcissistic to the point they'll burn everything around them down if it means they "win" and can have power over others.
Despite this, there is hope. Even if it is delusional. You need the delusion to reach it. I don't know how to teach this to people, you just need to experience it to understand it. I think letting go of the need for control is one of the first steps.
#anyway ill be over here having my annual mental breakdown as my birthday approaches#perhaps this is just survivorship bias since i vividly remember and am still processing parts of the first stint of trump#and everything I thought would happen has come to pass and everything yet to pass doesn't surprise me anymore#the cruelty is the point#thinking about it i understood this the first time with how much people hated me because i was a competent person who happened to be a girl#i was probably like 8 or maybe younger#but the visceralness of the tone every time that ive run into some jerk off whos misogynistic or queerphonic etc is palpable#i dont think ill ever understand people who say theyre surprised at how much others can hate [insert group here]#because ive seen it and felt it basically my entire life#theres reasons why i observed so much to be able to mask as 'normal'#it was a safety and coping mechanism
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i once accidentally dated someone for a few months. its very difficult to explain how this happened, but the gist is that i thought we were hanging out, and she thought we were on dates, and it was just a very painfully highschool thing.
she was a little bit confused that i hadnt tried to pull any moves, at all, even a little. like, didnt even try holding hands because, and i cannot emphasize this enough, i did not know we were dating.
so, halloween rolled around, and she thought, you know, why wait for destiny, when you can grab it? so she hit me with a clue by four.
babylon, she said. babylon. my mom's gonna be out of town on halloween, and im gonna have the house to myself, and it's going to be kind of lonely. would you like to come to my house and watch scary movies with me?
you know, kind of a netflix and chill thing. except, and i cannot emphasize this enough, i did not know we were dating. also autism. so i took it at face value and said: oh! yeah! thatd be fun! and she thought she got her point across, but she didnt and it was a mess.
skip forward to halloween: my family has a block party every year, right? and at that point i was too old to really trick or treat, but we still wore costumes for our role in the block party, which in my case, was handing out cotton candy. so i took the first shift, and my costume was this homemade abomination minion thing. i had full yellow body paint, and goggles, and a bald cap, and overalls. the kids who saw it were like, uh, hm. overly realistic minion. and adults were like, oh, some kind of hills have eyes hillbilly with jaundice. very scary.
(it was not my best costume.)
my little brother swapped me out for second shift, and i was getting ready to change out to head to her house when i was like: no, she'll get a real kick out of this. this is one of the worst things i have ever worn. so i kept it on and just brought a change of clothes thinking i could shower real quick and change at her place after she saw my nightmare getup.
so i left after that, got there, knocked on her door, and she said come on in. so i went in, and there was this very long hall with an abrupt right turn into her living room where the tv was, and i went down the hall, and i made the turn, and my field of view went from beige drywal to her, on the couch, naked. naked in the paint me like one of your french girls pose. super naked.
i panicked. this was my first time seeing a real person like, full on sex naked,which is a totally different beast from other kinds of naked. you see one kind of naked and you think yeah, im ready for all the kinds of naked, but you arent. i wasnt at least. i really wasn't.
so my brain crashed to BIOS. she also crashed to BIOS, but for different reasons. of all the ways this could have turned me, having me show up in yellow body paint and overalls was pretty pretty low down the list.
so we sat there a while, and you know, she wasn't getting any less naked, which really wasn't helping me get my brain sorted out. it really wasnt much of a surprise when she got her bearings first and started asking questions.
"babylon," she said. "babylon. what are you wearing?"
and i was like, kind of rebooted, but i was nowhere near full functionality, so symbolic language wasnt loaded in yet. i had nothing running but my trusty autism.exe, so i said
"overalls"
and she looked at me like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked at her like she was the first naked person i had seen in real life who got naked specifically for me, and my upper level cognitive process went: "listen man, we are not going to get our shit together as long as 80% of your brain power is devoted to not blinking. you gotta get out of here."
and if id communicated that, maybe things would have been less of a mess, but instead i just kind of turned around and walked back to my car. i figured i could drive a few loops around the block, get my brain in order, and figure out what the hell we were gonna do.
the only thing i had said to her since arriving was, again, overalls.
first loop around, i was like: oh god fucking damnit. oh shit. oh shit. shes gonna get like, an eating disorder from this. oh no.
second loop around i was like: oh NOOOOO oh WHAT THE FUCK oh SWEET JESUS PLEASE. i dont wanna go back man. i just wanna bury this and forget about it. please. please. let this bitter cup pass from my lips.
and after my third loop, i went and i knocked on her door again.
she answered it this time, and i counted my lucky stars that she'd changed into some pajamas. she was all teary eyed which was the saddest thing ever, and we sat down in her kitchen and talked. it was pretty bad - i figured out we'd been dating, and she figured out that trying to jump from home plate to 3rd base is considered ballsy in baseball, least of all dating. no real winners there. and i can remember after all that, we sat there a bit a bit longer, just steadying ourselves, and i was like "well, im actually really glad we figured that out. guess i'll see you at school tomorow' and she said "WAIT. wait."
"lets watch shrek 2."
so we did and it was horrible. we did not look at each other. we did not say a word. we just sat in stony silence, while shrek 2 played in the background, and when it was done we shook hands. i think we might have been able to salvage that as a friendship if it hadnt been for shrek. as it was she turned white as a sheet and ran away every time she even got a glimpse of me at school, and that summer she moved to a new state to live with her dad. all her friends said she moved just so she wouldn't have to go to school with me anymore, and i dont actually think they were lying.
every time i hear relationship counselors talk about how important communication is, and i'm tempted to roll my eyes, i look back and go, alright. alright. theres probably some poor bastard, somewhere in the world, who doesnt even know that hes married.
and god help him when he figures it out.
other bad dating story here.
#funny stories#dating#dating fiascos#minions#the minion incident#anecdotes#fuck shrek#and fuck shrek 2#like its the best in the shrek series but that movie is basically my trigger now
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