#like i have So Many Thoughts about this stuff rotating in my head pretty much constantly

[varjopeura]

.

[scarletwinterxx]

this is how you fall in love - jeon wonwoo imagine

idk what to say except wonwoo is such a precious precious precious human🥺 i hope you're happy everyday, wonu🤍

i hope you like it!

alsooo if anyone want to be mutuals on X, i'm using the same un there😊

for my other svt fics, check them here

if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

When you say your life turned technicolor when you started dating Wonwoo, you meant it both literally and metaphorically. Before him, life for you was black and white. A 24 hour rotation of the clock.

To put it simply, you just lived life as it is.

It's still a mystery to you how you manage to land yourself a wonderful boyfriend like him, there are moments it doesn't feel real. How could it be when your man looks and acts like he stepped right out of a fairytale book specially written for you.

"Hey pretty, I got something for you"

He swears gift giving isn't his love language and he knows you don't like getting such grand gifts, but time to time he brings home little trinkets that reminds him of you or something cute that he thinks you'll like.

Just the other week he got you shoes that matches the one he has, but yours was in pink. Very cute, you told him. He remembered you telling him you needed new shoes but couldn't decide what to get, you saw the pink version of his' and thought about getting those but you never got to doing so.

So a few days after that, he surprised you. The smile you had on was worth every dollar he spent. You even went on a walk with your matching shoes on.

Today it's something else. This time it's a cute yellow hair pin, perfect match to the scrunchie he got you before.

"You know my favorite color is purple, right?"

He chuckles at your question. Of course he knows. At this point there's little he doesn't know about you, from your little quirks, to your pet peeves to all your favorite, he have those all listed in his mind like his own commandments.

It also happens to be his favorite color too, so that helps

"I know, I just pick that one so I can easily spot you" he takes the seat beside you on the couch, throwing his arm on the back of the couch making you rest your head against him.

"Huh?" you ask, looking at him

"Just when I don't wear my glasses, everything else is blurry but atleast I can see the color. That way I know it's you" he smiles, playing with the yellow scrunchie on your wrist

"So you're telling me, you keep getting me yellow stuff so you could see me?"

He nods

You look at him before a smile breaks out of your face, taking Wonwoo's cheeks between your hands to squish them. Cuteness aggression taking over.

To some, Wonwoo might seem like a cold person, very nonchalant but that's the exact opposite. If you get to know him more, he's a big softie and likes to play practical jokes every now and then. One of the many things that made you fall in love with him was how easy it was to smile when you're with him.

Falling for him didn't feel scary. From your past relationships it always felt like a part of you was lost, like you're not you're own person anymore. But with him, it's different.

Wonwoo let's you be you. You feel loved just by being you.

"What got you thinking, pretty? Lost you for a second there" he whispers

"Just.. things"

"Want to share?"

It's cute he still asks, even after dating for some time he still asks if you want to share whatever thoughts you have in your mind instead of just making you say it. From day 1 he let you set the pace, no matter how slow or how fast you want to go he'll be right beside you happily holding your hand.

He tucks your hair behind your ear, cradling your face in his hands and you think this is where you feel the safest, the most secure.

"Just you, still wondering what I did in my past life to deserve you"

He shakes his head, leaning down to give you a kiss on the forehead. "I should be the one asking you that. I'm just happy I get to love you like this"

He watches you watch him, he knows you're still having an internal debate. Thoughts bouncing around in your head, sometimes that happens and he's always there to shut any doubts.

"You love me, correct?" he asks, you quickly utter a confirmation making Wonwoo smile

"You said, anything I love you'll learn to love too. Correct?" he asks again, you nod at his question

"I love you, more than anything in this universe. I love even the tiny flaws you think you have. To me, all those things are just... you. These cheeks? I love seeing them the moment i open my eyes in morning, pressed against the pillow making you look like a sleeping angel. These hands? I love how they hold me, keep me grounded when it gets too loud. Your laugh, especially the one that don't sound like anything because you're laughing too hard and you're so happy I cant help but smile too and make me want to make you laugh like that everyday."

He holds your hand in his, eyes looking straight into yours as he says the words. Each and every one of them is the truth and nothing but the truth.

"You, all of you I love. This mind, the one that keeps you up at night, makes you worry about the future that have yet to come and everything that could go wrong, I love that too. That's you, you and your nagging, your ups and downs, your mood swings and bad days. I'd have it all" He frees your hand so he can reach up to flatten the crease between your brows. You feel his fingertip ever so gently land on your forehead.

"Just once, even for a second I wish you see yourself through my eyes and know just why I look at you the way I do. If only you can feel what I feel because there isn't any word in any language to express it. Not yet anyways" he breathes out.

Before you, Wonwoo's life was monochromatic. Like a black and white silent film. And when he met you, that's when it all changed. He started to laugh a little louder, smile a little wider. You're the color of his life, not the overwhelming kind of color but instead the exact hues he loved.

"Do you ever feel overwhelmed with how you feel about me?" you ask him. He can hear the genuine wonder in your voice, instead of sugarcoating it for you he tells the truth because he would never know how to lie to you.

"Sometimes, I overthink too" he lets out a chuckle before continuing "Like what if one day I become too much, but I can't help it. I just want to do everything for you. Sometimes, I feel down. I don't want to make you feel that too so I just..." he trails off

He didn't need to say anything else for you to understand.

"Then will you tell me if you're having bad days too? I can take it." you tell him

"Love, I-" he pauses "I'm sorry. I know I'm not the most vocal person, I just don't want to burden you with my problems" he breathes out. His hold on you tightening.

"I'm your partner, I'm your girlfriend. Am I not?"

"You are"

"Didn't you tell me once you'd marry me"

"I did, and I will" he smiles, recalling that conversation in his head.

"Then talk to me, I don't care about the baggage, I don't care if they're too heavy. I'm here. You share your joys with me, then that's double the happiness. That goes the same with your sorrows, you tell me all about it so it's half the pain"

He smiles, heart filling up with more love for you he didn't was possible.

"You can tell me, you don't have to give it all to me. I just want to know if you're okay, or angry or worried or sad. I just want to know how to be there for you like you are for me" you tell him, tracing his features with your fingertips.

He hugs you even tighter, afraid of letting any space get between the two of you. "You being here is more than enough for me. Knowing I'm coming home to you is enough for me. You are more than enough for me, my love"

You didn't expect your afternoon to turn into love confessions but you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

[nordicfiord]

Do you have any other dynamics between the voices that you like,besides Cold and Contrarian?

Love your art,by the way,especially Contrarian!I love how soft and puffy he looks!

Ohhh, thanks for the question! And thanks for the kind words!! Have another Contrarian – he is pretty sure his friendship with anyone would be good!

it also would consist of bullying half the time but if everyone is content that it can lead to some of the best friendships out there!

And now… IT’S RUMBLING TIME!!

tldr: I am semi-interested in most dynamics, but am currently obsessed with just one. Crossovers and AUs make dynamics more fun for me to think about because of backgrounds.

So! Voices, huh? What a wild bunch.

I love those little guys. I love that mostly here at the stp fandom we are just interpreting them through our own lenses of understanding – through our own perspectives. It is very fitting, and it allows all of us to view these dynamics in many, many different situations.

Honestly, my brain is a mess. It is a giant cauldron, where everything at once is boiling and twisting and turning. That’s why everything is mixing up into lots of crossovers and weird ideas. 

Can I say that I like voices dynamics in canon? Sure! I like that one Adv-Fury route with Stubborn and Contrarian having the “I may not have a brain, gentlemen, but I have an idea” moment. I like that Hero tried to stand up for us in Cage and Paranoid helped Skeptic to insist on his solution by “physically” restraining him?? What a power move. Pretty much every interaction between voices is something interesting to think about, honestly.

But, uhh…

My brain just chose two random clowns and said “Them. I wanna rotate them.”

Honestly I don’t even know why he (my brain) did it. Maybe he just projected my favourite dynamic (clown and clown enabler). But I like other dynamics too??? Why not them???

Genuinely don’t know.

BUT!

Remember I talked about AUs, crossovers and stuff? Those are bigger dollhouses for my brain. There he can assign some dynamics to characters and watch them unfold.

Examples? Sure!

Skeptic being “the mom friend”. Originally it went from the need to have anyone that could control ContraColdChaos. But when I thought about putting voices in my old Steven Universe AU (I will talk about it here I swear it is just too much to unpack….), it all just made so much more sense. Because there Skeptic was the one responsible for revolution and leaving their home world, ended up on an unknown planet with some very troubled teammates (traumatised disabled leader, “I-died-so-many-times-I-can’t-be-stable” general, repeated killer of said general, army refugee and a high-quality spy) and he HAD to take responsibility and make sure nobody dies. Also that created a very interesting dynamic with Hero, because Hero is basically a young abused ruler who doesn’t believe he has any autonomy… and here Skeptic is, his subordinate, who literally is making all the decisions. Like, it’s clear that Skeptic cares and wants the best for Hero… but he is pretty much adding to a family emotional neglect.

And there’s more. Opportunist feeling like he owes Smitten for saving his life. Cold and Skeptic trying to process that they’ve killed and revived the very same person. Smitten being this person and trying to live a normal life with his murderer and resurrector in the same home.

I guess I just… Can’t operate inside of the canon universe with the little outside influence there is?

Maybe in my head-universe, when TLQ left, he left the voices a big fun playground, where they can put various masks and play many, many different stories. They need something to occupy their “forever” too, after all.

Anyway thanks if you’ve read this far!! I appreciate it, really. Sorry if it’s not uhh… organized? Like I said, my mind really is a mess, haha.

Have a nice day everyday!~

[beatcroc]

E-117 Sigma for the character bingo if possible.... I like seeing people talk about this guy

SIGMA MY GOAT....

If u can believe it when I was first reading scrapnik as it was coming out sigma was actually my fave character. I distinctly remember being like "yeah its awesome they brought mecha sonic back after so long but this guy is just way too fucking fun." obviously i have since become turbo fucking insane about mecha, but that doesn't mean I love sigma any less than i did then!

'so mean' is only half marked because like no one is mean to sigma but i do think he is EXTREMELY overlooked and like i cant entirely blame people since he's a strictly passive/support role in an otherwise pretty dynamic story, but like he's so subtly cool and awesome and there is so much about him that i think is absolutely fucking genius as a pull for a character. like im not even joking or exaggerating when i say sigma is probably the best thing they could have done for that sort of role. gamma was a widely beloved character and the first Big Deal of an eggman bot going off to do its own thing, and he also set a precedent for e-100's specifically being particularly observant and prone to developing their own line of thinking to become kinder. i think it's so so awesome of them to use sigma to follow in the footsetps of that. like it just feels like a natural thing an e-100 would wind up doing yknow. and aside from thematic stuff it's also just a natural pull to be like "hey yeah there were like 15 more of those guys we just never saw, there's one of just sitting around somewhere we can still use i'm sure.", especially since the egg carrier is also a feature on scrapnik. lastly also i do just enjoy having an early e-100 in the series again..... theyre such strange and charismatic designs.

i do also love him in a more general sense of like. they introduce mecha sonic as a big scary dude like twice the size of the average sonic character, and then on top of that they turn around and introduce a guy another two feet larger still as a bonafide gentle giant. 1000/10 no notes theyre the smartest people in the world. Anyway all the scrapniks have awesome designs and it's just a kickass aesthetic in general that is so very incredibly My Shit but to highlight a specific point on sigma, I did recently notice that the hole on his left side is directly over where his serial number would be. Very interesting little detail wrt to the themes of identity of course. been rotating in my head a bit.

"so many headcanons" is a bit misleading because i'm sincerely just not a headcanons guy, but with sigma in particular my interpretations of him are a good bit more....arbitrary, than i usually work with. its mostly just stuff playing him up as more of a Force than the comic really suggests because i like him. sigma is a deeply modest character and he plays that vibe very well but i feel like if you can look past how cheery and well-adjusted he is he very quickly becomes quite the freak of nature...or, robotics, i guess in this case, and i intend to make a point of this.

i do like to believe he's like an actual literal zombie. we know the e-100's are animal-powered. there is no fucking way any animal in him is still alive. the sonic series has provided practically no other explanations as to what powers eggman bots, but i feel like most any of them would have gone to shit with the condition he was in when he arrived on scrapnik. i do not know how the hell he is alive and it is frankly way more fun to just not try and define it. i don't think he knows either and hes never thought to pay it any mind in the first place. dont worry about it

i genuinely think he has a level of technical prowess basically on par with tails and eggman. tails is always talking about how eggtech is weird and hard to work with, and while sigma obviously has a more innate understanding of how it all works, his being able to reprogram everybody is like, slightly insane i think. tails & co had to use motobud as a base to get any shot at nonaggressive badniks but sigma is out there doing it completely from scratch for like a bajillion different models. and even just physically that's a lot of different types of bot to work with and maintain!

somewhat tying back to the first point, i would count him as perhaps freakishly durable. he might not have been the first guy to wash up on the island, but he was the first one to wash up alive. that and also yknow he had no issue recovering a pretty solid hit from m.knux. i've been replaying sa1 a bit recently and gamma evidently has some kind of "auto-recovery system" which is on one hand is definitely kind of just some horseshit technobabble...but....yknow. maybe that has something to do with it.

i am saying these to say: sigma is weird. ok. he is Weird. he's a simple dude and his friendliness makes him come off as eccentric at most but he is kind of a deeply strange guy. it takes a strange type of guy to just wake up and be like okay ^_^ yay ^_^ and start doing robot necromancy. i'm sure it's mostly just out of wanting to give others the same second chance that he had, but still. scrapnik as a project is kind of a crazy undertaking that stems from an equally crazy sort of logic. i need everyone to appreciate how weird sigma is with me. ok.

beast unleashed has a ? Because I'm not..... quite sure what that means? But I'm taking it in a general 'he's doing something to me sense bc oh boy is he doing something to me. [by proxy of mecha of course but.... man. Man.]

and then @ 'i will cry', sigma [and all the scrapniks] are some of the most guys ever for being in that place of "these guys have literally never bothered anybody, he is just a little old man who wants to help people why would you EVER", like to the point there is a significant part of me that DOESN'T want them to show back up or be relevant in mainline comic stuff because bringing them in contact with the rest of the cast will necessarily mean bringing them into the crossfire of actual plot conflicts. i just want them to have their happy ending. those dudes have already well and been through it. Please.

[karliahs]

i finished season 6!! i have...many thoughts. arguably too many. and please be aware that unlike my last screaming session, there's a fair bit of discussion here that isn't wholly positive! if negativity/criticism of this show is going to bum you out (genuinely no judgement if so), please don't click this readmore!

organised into a numbered list to pretend i'm capable of coherency. okay.

i am extremely biased and you shouldn't listen to me probably

there is a sense in which this show cannot win with me once it starts changing the status quo beyond approx the cultural festival, because i'm in the weird position of having spent literal years living mentally in this space that's like vaguely post-kamino to just post-overhaul. that's my comfy cozy little status quo zone and i like it there a lot. so when this show necessarily, very legimately wants to move its plot and characters forward from that point, there is always a part of me that feels a little like someone just ripped a big wall off my favourite playhouse - it's a legitimate story development but also hey :/

that said! when i was looking ahead at the stuff i knew happened from the point after i stopped watching, i kind of thought "huh, it sure does seem to escalate pretty intensely and become Just All War after a certain point." and i kind of thought that perception might be a function of my knowledge being all from spoilers, bc naturally that will focus on big plot developments and leave out quieter in-between moments. but uh... nope! again i cannot be trusted with perceptions about pace but...my feeling when watching is very much that at a certain point horikoshi decided he was barreling this thing right to the finish line

and that's fair! a lot of what's going on here with this status quo shake-up is like the objectively competent storytelling move where you don't give the audience time to slow down so they're feeling the same sense of overwhelm and fear that the characters are. basically it's me not them but boy would i have liked...space. for characters to slow down and react and feel things.

2. midnight was fucking robbed

she was robbed!!! why even kill her if you aren't gonna give it...weight. i know she's a minor character but best jeanist is a minor character and i feel like his fakeout death was borderline given more screentime and gravity than midnight's real actual death. and i know this show isn't about aizawa but fuck!! she had a big big place in the young aizawa arc, she mattered! to mic and aizawa! they were friends for 15 years! and they just don't really...do anything with it. i feel like if they'd killed mic off there'd have been...something. something that wasn't here. and she's not that much more minor a character than mic

3. the dabi reveal ruled

we all knew but christ. dance with your son in hell! the wilder and more bloodthirsty he gets the more i'm here for it. go for it you funky little maniac. love that he was animated like a weird little marionette while talking about shouto being a puppet. it's genuinely impressive that even with 0% surprise factor this still hit so good. i'm rotating him in my head like a microwave

and i say often that this show is better at creating problems than solving them for me but it sure is good at creating problems like. that fucking house. the pressure cooker of misery. tiny little touya soaking it all in. harrowing

4. the thing where dabi is a foil for shouto does not hit for me

i know i just said a bunch of good things about the dabi stuff but. okay.

i was conceptually never here for the concept of endeavour redemption arc and i will say! i was at times pleasantly surprised. the ep that basically concludes that the best thing he can do for his family is to stay the fuck away from them had more maturity than i expected. and again i genuinely enjoy the drama! it's very good drama!

but there is just. something about the thing where dabi is specifically there to be like. this is what shouto needs to try not to turn into with his anger towards his father, this is the path that could lead him down that just... for me it rings too much like vilifying the anger of an abused child. after they went so hard and so explicit on the domestic abuse angle.

i'm not saying you can't tell good interesting and valuable stories about anger after abuse, and even about how it's easy to become consumed by hatred when you've been wronged and let that take away your future. probably this story is that for some people. it isn't for me.

5. i love mirio but the missed potential of his temporary quirklessness fucking haunts me

idk if i can even say more about this like. i love him. i was happy to see him again. i long ago accepted that this show will never dig into quirklessness in a way that would satisfy me (and yes i know about Future Events and will be pleasantly surprised if that proves me wrong). but i truly cannot get over the missed potential of doing nothingggggg with this character who explicitly had a power that only let him be an incredible hero because of WORK. and effort. and training. and then having him lose the power but not the work and effort and training, and then shoving him gently out of the narrative until he just gets the power back one day. when your protagonist grew up quirkless!!! the opportunity for reflection on that is so obvious!!

okay apparently i could say more about that. sorry. read pez dispenser debris

6. hawks man

i already yelled (positively) about the twice stuff last time but it's worth yelling again because fuck!! again it's wild to me that after actively encouraging and seeking out spoilers, i still managed not to know this. and it fucking hit. toga's line where she goes "if [heroes'] purpose is to save people, did they not think jin was a person?" hit so fucking hard i had to pause the episode and put my hand over my mouth and stare at the ceiling for a while. it's...genuinely damning

and i think they did a really incredible job building hawks' character to the point where he does this. like. it's one of those perfect tragedy things where you can see all the pieces spinning into place. make someone into a weapon and they're gonna draw blood.

and then as always. i just vibe way more with the creation of those problems than their solutions. i'm sure they will do at least a little more with hawks but. idk. i feel like horikoshi is so good at breaking stuff and then he kind of hastily glues it back together and i'm like wait please. the wreckage was so fascinating. fixing it would be so long and hard and also fascinating. this is what fanfiction is for probably

7. lady nagant!!

i knew nothing about her going in and i liked her a lot. the music worked so well, there's this one specific kind of circussy little riff that i liked almost as much as AFO's theme, my other fave piece of music from this show

and again it's like...genuinely damning! holy fuck! and i'm trying to just enjoy the parts where they launch extremely cutting criticisms of hero society without remembering that my vague amalgamation of spoiler knowledge suggests we will not be....doing a whole lot with that

8. iconic yellow scarf era of sadness! at last!

in some ways i am the ideal audience for this narrative and in other ways i am again hopelessly biased. bc i have been craving content that addresses the fact that my boy is like this for so long, but also it's so My Favourite Subject that i have seen done well so many times that i'm like...would anything ever really be enough for me, an addressing midoriya's self destruction guy for literally 5 years now

in my head i expected this arc to be izuku going fully rogue so i was surprised when this was like...a semi-sanctioned thing, at least at first. but makes sense so you can then build to him being basically totally rogue. and oof the build. i really liked the visuals! let my son be fucked up and scary and haunted

and god when he admits he can't go back because he is so scared. i feel like the mall scene hit way harder for me this rewatch because there are so many horrible aspects to it, but particularly the thing of looking at these people all around you and knowing if you cry out too loud they will all get hurt. and it will be your fault, if you can't bear it quietly enough. and you are fifteen fucking years old. so the moment at jaku when izuku looks around at all the evacuating civilians and you can see him realising that him being anywhere near them could doom them. because they're near you, and this person with impossibly destructive power wants You. you're next...that inversion. that pressure. i love him forever and ever...

9. i knew aizawa would not be in this arc but i felt his absence so keenly

like i know i know. he's a minor character. he was busy not having a leg anymore. but i would have killed a man for anyyyy kind of OFA reveal reaction/one of his kids running around the city with a target on his back from the world-ending villains reaction. please. please. i knew i wouldn't get it but i still wanted it very bad

[oodlyenough]

Regarding how long it took Trucy to call Phoenix "Papa". I think the better question is how long did it take for her to actually mean it. Same for Phoenix genuinely thinking of Trucy as his daughter and not a little kid he needed to help and take care of

Well, see, that's kind of the trajectory I expected to begin with -- how many years into those 7 was it before she started seeing him as "dad" enough to say it, etc. I didn't expect the game to have an answer to that and had speculated about what that might've been like only for the game to give... a pretty unsatisfactory (imo) canon answer.

But you're right, saying it VS meaning it are still different things. I don't have any specific timeframe in mind but I imagine it happened faster with Phoenix, because I think (and he says as much in canon) he really latched onto Trucy and that relationship post-disbarment, and also Phoenix is a pretty ... emotionally intense dude who needs to be needed. It's easy for me to imagine him focusing all his emotional energy on Trucy and getting super invested very quickly.

Trucy I find it much harder to speculate about because I don't think the game gives us a good sense of her interiority. I got the impression throughout 4 that she was keeping plenty of secrets (another post I've been thinking about: how much did she know in 4-1 because my impression is "everything") and so I feel like I can only guess at what she was thinking. She's unreasonably chipper in that first scene with Phoenix, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt in assuming it's largely for show. Maybe she felt she had to put on a show for Phoenix so he'd keep her around, in which case how long was it before she let that drop for the first time, and how long before she naturally thought of him first for comfort/etc instead of Zak... 🤔 I don't know but I would imagine it took her longer than Phoenix.

In general I wish 4 had given us more of them interacting together and more genuine moments. Phoenix says at the end that he's the only one who knows how she really feels, which I totally believe (again she seems like she's performing, even to Apollo) and I like the idea of them as this tight knit and sort of... secretive little unit, a double act. But we don't get to see it in action much and a lot of the references to him Trucy makes are just played for laughs or to make Apollo even more suspicious of him.

I also think Trucy looking up to/missing/wanting to emulate the Gramaryes is understandable but interesting vs Phoenix knowing they're a toxic murder polycule and wanting to shield her from that without (presumably) wanting to disillusion her. Also fandom lied to me about older Trucy's costume being blue because of Phoenix, it's Thalassa's costume 😭 which made me sad for him ngl... another fic idea among many.

This got really long and mostly off topic sorry lol, I've been rotating Trucy and Phoenix in my head since starting AA4 and, like most things in AA4, there's so much cool stuff to extrapolate on that canon just kinda... suggests without ever diving into. Much to think about

[inkbeanjo]

Sorry for being annoying but i have more questions about your OCs. So i am still kinda rotating my overly cybered up shadowrun oc idea in my head and i am wondering, How would Moni, Retro and the others react to someone who is seemingly an outsider but has abilities similar to a technomancer? My diea for my oc was that due to all her cybernetics it has kinda fused her soul with tech and gives her the ability to do stuff like remotely control technology, access the net without a deck, that kind of s tuff, but its also in a very uncontrolled way so she has to deal with like the equvlent of being bombarded with info and ads 24/7 which does not do her mental health any favors and has to rely on software to try and filter all of that out. So how would they react if say during one of their private chat room sessions, my oc unconciously just popped in unannounced, and there is a outsider who by appearance shouldnt be able to do what she is doing, doing what appears to be technomancy, to talk to them?

This splits two ways tbh- like between what shadowrun's setting sets up, and between how neo-a's setting divorces from that if that tracks In shadowrun, while the resonance is something more or less exclusive to technomancers to wield, it's not a space void of non-technomancer influence; the big ten more or less built the matrix on the backs of technos, to the point that host foundations are believed to dip into the resonance's upper layers- moreover a lot of normal people get swept up in resonance/techno bullshit pretty frequently, whether through errant sprites or clinging dissonance/having a slight spark of resonance by being tangled in it so much, or the weirder circumstances of being in the wrong place at the wrong time for a resonance well to form in digital space, sucking you off to god knows where. For the normal person separate from all this, with a wireless-enabled datajack/smartlink/synthetic eyes/really any number of augmentations, one can experience the wonders and hells of controlling the matrix and always-online connections whether they want to or not- so in your character's case and in the shadowrun setting by raw, any of these might be the case. A normal person seeing/interacting with resonance shit is usually the sign of a burgeoning technomancer to-be, but that's just my two cents it's less straightforward in the comic setting Neo-a's based on the games I got to play and co-write with a handful of close friends, but I've put a lot of work into beginning to divorce it from shadowrun- mostly in settling on to-be revealed isms and logical consistencies for how, thematically, a dystopia and universe operate when there's reality-altering magic and weirdass computer-magic that extends beyond the screen (also to be revealed, this's directly after chapter 4 in some ways) The center pillar of neo-a as a setting is that it's Weird- that the universe does not operate in logical or sensical ways, and is quite frankly glaringly flawed to the point that it stutters, breaks, or bleeds out in dysfunctional overlap. It's a reality of unreality layered in intersectional/existential bullshit (we'll get there), and where one or several (or many) people might be convinced that things operate with rhyme and reason in predictable fashion the truth is that those are snippets of understanding at best. There are exceptions across the board and oddities all around that don't fit into the norm of how things should be; "why can this person see/interact with the reverb without being a techno" is a question born out of surprise as likely to get answered as "why does this number keep showing up everywhere in my life"- or on the same train of thought, "why doesn't this person notice that number constantly showing up?" I can't really play my hand too much because I do very much want to show rather than tell in the comic's case (and I will), but the gist is "they're surprised and very cagey" in response to both xwxb

[yellowvixen]

Hi, hello! Binturong anon with a lot of word vomit here, so be warned. I just read your reply to my ask and I'm so happy right now! I was slightly worried for a bit that you didn't like my silly little story, but hearing that you put off posting it because you liked reading it made me feel warm inside. And you want to draw it someday??? 😳 I can't believe this I'm hdhdjgk

As for my Sol OCs, I do have a few that are specifically parallels, but I'm never quite happy with them. There's always so many good ideas and I sometimes end up finding other people's takes on them that are SO cool (like Rime!) or that have ideas I was thinking of and I'm suddenly paranoid that I'm ripping off somebody else's character...

I absolutely get the struggle of deciding things like species, there's so many cool animals to use and I freaking struggled deciding on ones for mine. The Knuckles one is probably one of the most complete actually, but unfortunately I cannot show you her or any others because I'm not an artist. 😞 So I just rotate them all in my head until I think "Nice" and put it down on a digital notepad. I'm always interested to see others create their takes on them though! I'm certainly interested in all of yours!

I never considered Team Dark, apart from my Sol Shadow, who's definitely the least thought out. There's so many other cool ones out there, so I never really bothered. The few I have, if you're curious, are supposed to be Knuckles and Amy, to round out Blaze and Marine's Classic Quartet basically. And also a different Sol Eggman, because Blaze's nemesis being Eggman in G-major feels like a kick in the face to both Blaze and the actual Eggman 😒. (I also have a Sol Big but she's technically a joke character. She's also really small. I gave her a dinosaur though, as all women deserve.)

Anyway, basically just wanted to let you know that Rime is cool and I'm going to be thinking about that reply for the foreseeable future. Have a good week!

SORRYY I LEFT THIS SO LONG stuff kept happening and then I got ill and then more stuff happened 😩

But! Yeah!! I think it's cool seeing other people's ideas for stuff like this, like I know for sure there are other versions of Sol Shadow out there that are ice powered cats like Rime!! I don't rlly think it's the end of the world if people independently come up with the same ideas as long as you don't purposefully copy anyone.

God you're so right about there being so many cool animals to choose from... Sol Rouge was easy for me but everyone else is being a pain skfjfhdgd. Eventually I'll figure them out though. (One day I promise...) Also! It seems like you have the descriptions of characters down even if you can't draw them, so you could always commission someone!!

I love the idea of Sol Amy too, I personally have 0 ideas for them so might not design my own version tbh. But having a Sol Classic 4 is super cute! You could have a lot of fun with their designs too, the way classic Amy looks pretty different from modern Amy. Sol Eggman too... I've just kinda retconned Nega and made him actually be from the Sol dimension idc about canon LOL I haven't thought about it too much.

Also TINY SOL BIG??? I'm in love that's so cute and such a fun alt version. With a dinosaur too FUCK yes.

I really love how imaginative people are when it comes to the Sol dimension, actually giving it more characters and lore! If sega won't give it love then at least we will 😤

Thank you sm for enjoying Rime, and once again sorry this took so long for me to answer 🥲🩵 I hope you have a nice week too!!!

[stoportotouch]

hello your lieuthrouple is rotating in my mind and I know they have yet to acquire a child in your fic, but I was wondering if you had any headcanons for them as dads? who is the best bedtime story reader, who looks after them when they’re sick, who can get them to sleep the fastest, who gets them dressed/hair done for school, etc etc etc. i just love hearing about them as a unit and how they care for each other and your characterizations are so wonderful, so I’d love to hear any ramblings you have

oh anon you are So In Luck because i have... so much to say about this subject. (mostly with the uh. assumption that most of this takes place in the canonical setting; i have played in a modern au one (1) time and mostly concluded that in that au Nobody There Is Cis.)

little is uh. pretty much IMMEDIATELY great at all of it. somehow this does not surprise him (or the other two); he had many siblings even if not many nieces and nephews (most of his sisters did not marry and i think the only of his brothers that married did so after the expedition disappeared). the only real Thought that i have about this idea in a modern setting is that little is the one who stays at home with both kids ngl. he is also the person who hodgson wants there when he has both of them because irving is uh. too jumpy for a sick-room.

also another Thought I Had was uh. hodgson would probably (in the specific setting in my brain) have had to learn to knit/sew/etc. (and tbh all three of them could probably mend stuff) and he suddenly regains the inclination when they've decided that they want kids but aren't trying Yet (while irving is in hospital). he does not make anything that is particularly useful but fortunately little's parents never threw anything away and little's older brother essentially smuggles some ancient baby stuff back to them when he goes to visit their dad. (dad does not miss any of it.)

irving, meanwhile, gets very into making furniture while he is hospital because the doctors want him to do something that involves moving around. and while he would like the Thing That Involves Moving to be sex he can't really say that to the doctor. so saws it is. he makes more or less all of the furniture that the kids have when they're babies and a couple of toys and things when they're a bit older.

little unfortunately got uh. bonked on the head. and also nerve damage in his hands. which means that even if he had had an aptitude for knitting before (he did not) he does not now (but he is willing to hold balls of wool while hodgson's scarf evolves first into a baby blanket and then what could probably be a carpet). he was not a good knitter before, however; his mother and older sisters once tried to teach him to knit only to have to cut the attempted knitting off the needles. (this actually happened to my mother. this skill skipped a generation because i picked up knitting with only a tiny amount of effort.)

as far as getting them to sleep. tbh nobody can get james (little and hodgson's kid and also the older one) to sleep for the first ~year of his life. this is partly just... natural variation in humans and him being colicky and just kind of fussed over (affectionate) constantly but also they did have him when hodgson was not fully Unleaded/generally healthy again. which probably partly explains the colic. however. the fact that there are Three Adults (plus a nurse, which hodgson was not keen to consent to until it was pointed out to him that the only one of them who had ever held a baby before is also the guy with the brain injury) probably makes all the Newborn Stage stuff easier though. always at least one person awake to hang out with the baby if he is fussing and if they need to rotate Baby Duty they can have two people awake.

their second child, kate, is basically the world's easiest baby, though; she is (due to the godawful timing of the court-martial later in the fic) There At The Court-Martial because "wtf we are NOT leaving her with anybody she is like three months old" and she's just like. "oh a party for me?" every time she meets somebody new. this extends to her being really great at sleeping; hodgson does end up having to be Questioned about crozier's time as captain but more because he is the most likely to give a reliable account of all the lieutenants. (little has a brain injury, irving was unconscious for a few weeks, jopson only counts in the eyes of the admiralty when it suits them.) she gets to hang out with dundy for about half an hour and does not pick up on how nervous he is.

as i have said before. james is basically hodgson's software running on little's hardware (but he speaks exactly like irving, plus a bit of hodgson's at-home geordie dialect. this is confusing but very cute for everybody involved). kate, on the other hand, is like if somebody tried to be hodgson twice. (and also looks like this leyendecker painting, which was also the thing that i saw that made me think "hmm, what if the lieutenants DID have kids?")

as far as school and stuff. hodgson and irving actually met because hodgson was irving's instructor on board hms excellent and all three of them are book smart even if not people smart. hodgson is not, however, very good at teaching children. irving, on the other hand, at one point took over his older brother's teaching duties in the schoolroom of the church where said brother was also the priest. (this was after said brother's wife died -- he later remarried to the woman who kate is named after -- and from what i can tell irving went to stay with him for a few weeks to help him with the children and the... generally existing.) so he does most of that with both of the kids.

this is with the exception of teaching kate (and james, for the five or so minutes that he is interested) to play the piano. irving is less than useless at piano but hodgson is genuinely good at it. kate learns to play the piano from him and james also learns knitting from hodgson, because he needs an outlet for the ADHD Energy that he gets from hodgson. (ironically, even though kate is biologically the daughter of two people with adhd, she does not have adhd.)

[dragon-queen21]

hey :) ! I saw your kuma bear agere edits a while ago when I was browsing through the kb tag and thought, “huh. That’s pretty cool” and didn’t think much of it. After some weeks, I would be thinking about it again and go to search for it. I felt strangely happy? Like, yeah, this makes sense. Yuna would probably do that cause of everything that has happened. So, now I’m asking this after pondering it for a couple months. The point of all this is: do you mind sharing some hcs you have about kuma bear? Or some edits. Anything really, it can even be about someone other than Yuna or about her relationships with anyone else. I just feel really happy when I see someone else enjoying kb and making edits and stuff. If not, thanks for posting your kb edits :). I really like them! Have a nice day ^^

dbsjbdjdbksnsi You have no idea how long I have waited for the chance to ramble about Kuma bear :D I know theoretically I could have done so at anytime without prompting but still

This ask is so dear to me you have no idea, thank you so much, this made my whole week! Anyways!

Regressor Yuna headcanons

~~~

~You can’t tell me that Yuna wouldn’t have severe trauma considering she’s been on her own for so many years and her parents genuinely just didn’t care where she was or what was happening to her.

~Yuna probably would have regressed a couple times before she got summoned to the other world but never actually knew what it meant. Probably vent regressing when she got too lonely. Maybe she researched a couple things online and found the term age regression and just brushed it off because, “well that couldn’t be me, I don’t have childhood trauma I must just be over tired.”

~Then when she meets Fina and her family and everyone else it just suddenly hits her like “oh. I had a really bad childhood huh? This is what a loving family’s supposed to be like.”

~After that she has a harder time not regressing whenever she gets back from a mission just from the overwhelming feeling of love and safety

~So Yuna gains the ability to turn Kumayuru and Kumakyuu into cubs. I forgot what she does to earn this power so I’ll instead share the idea that has been rotating around my head. She gains the power due to accepting her own regression.

~Yuna carrying around her bear cubs everywhere with her when she's small like they’re stuffed animals.

~Making childhood snacks like pudding and needing someone to tell her when regressed to stop eating desserts or she’s going to make herself sick

~The shyest little cub whenever she’s regressed. I feel like she’d trust Fina if she tried to coax Yuna out of her room but otherwise she just hides away.

~Fina doing her best to watch over Yuna when she’s small. She'd would definitely know how to look after her considering she took care of Shiri for years. And if Yuna gets really embarrassed she just tells her that it’s her way of making it up to her for all of the things she’s done. (Also Fina would probably be a regressor too but that’s for another post entirely)

~Probably made a bunch of little gear for herself but is 90% of the time too embarrassed to use it and even less so around anyone.

~Fina and Noa being very proud at being the “older siblings” whenever Yuna is small.

~Cliff is 100% father figure material for Yuna while she's small. Noa probably mentioning something about Yuna regressing and Cliff just going into protective father mode.

I have a lot more thoughts for this series (lot of found family material tbh) but I am going to cut myself off here before this post gets any longer than it already is <3

[crehador]

brother crab's spring 2024 parting thoughts (part 1)

doing this quickly and messily this season because it has been a very messy season for me (how... how did i get 50+ episodes behind at one point)

anyway LOADS OF PHENOMENAL STUFF THIS SEASON although i would not call it flawless sentai daishikkaku is still far and away the anime of the season for me (but more on this in parting thoughts part 2, since its season hasn't finished airing just yet)

THE GREATS

kaijuu 8-gou was so much fun. imo it's a very typical battle shounen (but with an adult lead! fantastic) in that it hits all the beats you would expect a battle shounen to hit, but it hits them well. characters are fun, fights are dynamic, worldbuilding is solid and compelling (not terribly revolutionary, but it doesn't need to be)

it's overall just such a good time. hoshina im lov u. s2 please come soon

boukyaku battery was also phenomenal. easily one of the sports anime of all time. hilarious and riveting. the characters are so good, both as individuals and a team, and their backstories all unfolded so wonderfully. the visuals just get better and better. mappa let your staff rest but also. damn. undeniably good work

and todochi!! todochi forever!!! terrible fucking boyfriends (affectionate)

wind breaker was super solid all around as well, i haven't seen toman myself but i keep hearing that it's like toman if toman were good (lmao i'm so sorry to hear this toman enjoyers, stay strong)

oddly enough i'm not possessed with like... and overabundance of super strong feelings towards the characters, though. they're all really fun to watch, and i definitely plan on continuing the series, but i'm not quite rotating them in my head all the time. still good stuff though

THE GOODS (THE VERY GOODS)

astro note should be in the greats honestly but i'm trying to do three per section in this post, but it was just a delight through and through. there was nothing i didn't enjoy about this. takumi you are such a shit (affectionate)

tadaima okaeri... honestly i'm really happy with this adaptation! not only for voice actor reasons (but yes mostly for voice actor reasons) but like put next to all bl adaptations, this one imo does a lot very, very right

i adore the series itself too, did a quick reread before the series started airing and it really is just so wholesome and sweet. but personally i find it a stronger family (and found family) story than a romance, like where it really shines is its exploration of community and generational trauma despite best intentions. which is i imagine not what many people expect from an omegaverse bl but there it is

yozakura-san chi no daisakusen is continuing on into next season (i forgor) but i think it's pretty solidly made its home in this tier for me. it's a lot of wacky, zany fun, and really a delight to watch every week, but it doesn't really stay on my mind afterwards. so just, good stuff!

THE NOT BADS (OR AT LEAST NOT TERRIBLES)

jii-san baa-san wakagaeru was actually overall really enjoyable to me! lots of really deep, poignant moments, an ending that... i shan't say, and loads of quality humor and sweet family moments

but it came out the gate real strong with a first episode that was rife with grandpafucker jokes so i feel like a lot of people might not have made it to the poignant stuff which, fair enough lol. wouldn't say this is something that can't be missed, but really wasn't bad all told

sasakoi... tragically... had i think a pretty strong start but alas. production issues have reared their head and the animation quality in particular got worse and worse throughout

personally i'm not that much a fan of the drama either. the main relationship is pretty cute, but the drama surrounding them... honestly i just couldn't get invested. but that's solely a personal taste thing

as for re:monster... the less said the better. never in my life have i seen a show that more obviously wanted to be a hentai but wasn't

THE SEQUELS/CONTINUATIONS

obviously dungeon meshi was excellent no one needs me to say anything about that

yuru camp s3... i can understand the criticisms, i can understand not vibing with the new art style. but tbh i personally still enjoyed it immensely, it's still cozy, it's still cute, i couldn't really ask for more

hashira training arc my beloved. i can't really give an unbiased review of this one because i love u genyaaaaaaaaa. and gentaaaaaan. god this was such a good arc for them. anyway

shockingly enough i think that is... all i watched this season? (besides yatagarasu and sentai daishikkaku, but more on those later)

i thought there were more than just these but i don't see anything else in my activity log

so basically EXTREMELY STRONG SEASON aots will be decided in like... 20 hours

[armchairaleck]

Alright, I am going totally out into the wilderness, away from anything the Dragon Prince fandom wants to read, to write some totally self-indulgent Viren/Corvus post s5 enemies to lovers.. ticking all my boxes but no one else's.. it’s pretty much consuming all my writing hours because I know it will be blown to smithereens by season 6… and I don't have much to say about it here because I also know it's utterly ridiculous.

ANYWAY sometimes I need a break from two guys discussing the nature of fate and existence around a camp fire (yep, fun times when I go all in on the indulgence..) so I’ve also started to write bits of King Atticus is an utter bastard AU (haven’t really thought of a proper name for this yet…)

Here’s a snippet cut below. I don’t even know if it will make it into the main plot, it's really just a little study of Atticus and Kpp'Ar plotting somewhat dubious stuff for Duren...

“Mmm” Atticus lifted the goblet of red wine to his lips and smiled. “Here’s to new ventures.”

Kpp’Ar did not drink straight away, he swirled the wine a little and let its scent settle in his nose first. The wine would undoubtedly be some of the best the five kingdoms had produced. He might as well savour it.

The first sip didn’t disappoint, rich and heavy on the tongue, mountain wine, grown in the foothills of Del Bar, he could almost taste the sweetness of the first winter frost that they’d allowed to settle on the grapes before harvesting. An excellent vintage, he let it roll slowly around his tongue and watched the king.

Atticus sat regarding him, eyes narrowed. It was often the king’s policy to sit until a silence grew so uncomfortable that it was impossible not to break it, and Kpp’Ar decided to oblige him before it reached that point.

“You seem to have already decided on the mage you want as my successor.”

Atticus leant back in his chair and rotated his goblet slowly between his fingers so that the candlelight glinted off the gold.

“Well, he has certain admirable qualities the others don’t possess. Very dedicated to the kingdom, and my son Harrow seems fond of him, they’re fond of each other, no? You can’t pay gold for that sort of loyalty.” He laughed, and Kpp’Ar felt his usual slight revulsion at the cold, metallic ring of it. “You’ll have time to indulge your other pastimes, research, those puzzles that you like. You can let someone younger do the more mundane magic and worry about politics.”

Kpp’Ar shrugged, it wouldn’t do to let the king see his true emotions, he was like a snake that way, he would swallow them now and digest them slowly later, add it to the list of all the other information he kept locked away inside his head.

This latest move, his retirement, was simply the king rearranging his chess pieces on a board. Kpp’Ar knew he had outstayed his usefulness, there was no point in arguing his case.

“It would be nice to have the time to explore other avenues certainly.” He smiled back at the king.

“Precisely, council meetings were never really your scene, and Viren has a strong sense of… justice.”

“Indeed.”

Kpp’Ar gazed down at his glass, he didn’t particularly want to look at the king, to see the knowing look on his face, the unspoken things that lay beneath his words. There were many things he found it prudent to keep to himself, but he could never be completely certain that Atticus hadn’t already sniffed them out somehow.

“You’ve invested a lot of time in Viren, it must make you proud to see how far he’s come.”

Kpp’Ar took another sip of the wine. There it was, the little flash of the blade. The way Atticus would hold it in his hand and let you see for just a moment before striking.

“Of course.” He let his finger trace the patterns etched around the goblet, finest Neolandian gold of course, and he feigned absolute indifference. Even if Atticus had an inkling of just what Viren meant to him, of the odd complexities that their relationship contained, he was not about to expose that in front of him. “I suppose I’ve grown… fond of the boy.” He wasn’t a boy now of course, he was a man grown and yet sometimes there were moments when Kpp’Ar could still see the burning drive of Viren’s younger self, awkward and eager and full of passionate intensity.

“Yes, you always seemed unusually invested in that one.” Atticus gave him a slow smile, like a wolf it was, all barred teeth. “Don’t worry, he’ll do well, achieve far more than most men of his station. Do you know, I’m even considering giving him a title? Lord Viren, I expect that would sit well with him. You were never much moved by titles were you Kpp’Ar? But then, you came from money, what does a little word mean then?”

Atticus knocked his signet ring against the rim of the goblet in his hand and the sound reverberated in the silence.

“For what would you give him a title?” Kpp’Ar kept his voice merely curious but he knew there would be a cost involved commensurate with the reward. Common boys like Viren did not simply become lords in Katolis.

“For services… rendered. I mean, that’s the usual reason for giving out titles, no?”

Kpp’Ar stilled his features and took another sip of the wine. There were very few angles to playing Atticus, once he had made up his mind about something there was very little dissuading him. Kpp’Ar knew he himself was an aberration, tolerated only for his unmatched skills in dark magic. Of everyone at the court he alone said no to Atticus, everyone else bent the knee, and so here he was, nothing but a piece in a game that could be quietly removed now. There was a new piece to take his place, one that he himself had trained and honed to perfection to suit the king’s needs. In a way he’d always been playing Atticus’s hand, had moved his own pieces exactly where the king had wanted them.

“What service will you be asking of him? It would be better for me to know, in case I need to advise him.”

Atticus placed the goblet back on the table.

“Yes, of course, you might be right. The ambassador from Duren… she’s been getting a little… insistent lately, harvest failures, a blight that’s been spreading year by year. Of course Duren don’t keep a high mage, strictly speaking there are no mages at all in Duren, they see themselves as… above that sort of thing. Enlightened, talk is Del Bar are thinking of curbs at least. Imagine that, soon all the kingdoms might start considering dark magic unacceptable, you know how they love to frown on anything they don’t understand.”

“I’ve heard some rumours.”

Kpp’Ar did not keep in particularly close contact with any dark mages other than those he has trained himself, and yet this news had already travelled to him from a disgruntled trader in Del Bar. It’s true that Duren by advantage of their geographical location have not had to resort to dark magic in quite the same way the other kingdoms have. Most practitioners there are simple healers who keep to the shadows and are recommended only by word of mouth. There are no great mages, no one of the calibre that Kpp’Ar would consider worthy of the title.

“Quite, and yet now that their harvests can’t feed the population, to whom do they turn?”

“To you I suppose.”

“To me.” Atticus’s voice cut like cold steel. “Suddenly their moral high ground is not so lofty after all, suddenly our aid is acceptable. I intend to let them see what a few more years of blight does. Let them come to the pentarchy when their backs are really against the wall. Then we can negotiate.”

Kpp’Ar nodded, Atticus had always been politically ruthless, it had left Katolis almost as powerful as the other four kingdoms put together. The Katolian army is a well-oiled machine, it greatly exceeded the needs of a few border skirmishes that erupted from time to time with Xadia. He ruled with an iron fist, and yet he was one of those rare leaders who can also put on a show of relating to the common man. Kpp’Ar had always been impressed watching him in action, from the humblest peasant to the richest lord he ingratiated himself effortlessly, like some street hawker peddling false cures.

He himself had always struggled to bond with anyone, he had very few friends, and yet for some reason over the years he has known him Viren alone had become something else to him. Something he chose never to quite quantify with words because it was fraught with hidden danger. They have blurred the edges of their relationship in so many different ways now and it was increasingly apparent that these feelings he had have allowed him to be played. He can see no way for Viren to avoid the web that Atticus has spun.

“So you want Viren to put her off?”

“No. I want new ambassador, someone a little more amenable, or better still, no ambassador from Duren. She simply has to meet with an accident, it would be unfortunate, but… well these things happen.” Atticus spread his hands and shrugged.

“What will you tell Viren?”

“Just that, nothing more, he’s a bright enough lad, ambitious, he’ll figure it out.”

“I don’t think you know him that well, he won’t kill someone, not even for a title.”

“Well, the title is only an incentive, a man like Viren has plenty to lose though doesn’t he? That beautiful wife, the son he seems so fond of, a baby daughter too.”

There is a dark look on Atticus’s face now and it is that moment that Kpp’Ar can see how easily he’d been played, how utterly out manoeuvred he had been, and that he is now expendable, he too could meet with an accident if the king willed it. He took another sip of his wine, swallowed it impassively as his mind worked around the problem.

Atticus thought that he knew him, thought he knew every person and all their weaknesses, but he isn’t infallible, he’d always been greedy for magic, for the power that it gave him but also for the knowledge of it too.

“I have a solution that might work, something I’ve been wanting to test for you actually, something I believe you’ll like.”

“Oh yes?” Atticus looked at him, face impassive, but he can see the glint of hunger in his eyes. Kpp’Ar knows something about human weakness too.

“Old magic, elven, I picked them up in Xadia, I had to pay a considerable price.”

Kpp’Ar reached into his cloak and dropped a soft fabric bag on the table, Atticus reached for it, undid the string. He is a man who had always been inordinately interested in dark magic and all its trappings. A small pile of coins dropped onto the table and the king stacked them, one on top of the other, before picking up the top one and spinning it slowly between his fingers.

“What are these?”

“Prisons, very old I believe, they trap the soul, hold it in an different plane. Far more elegant than murder.”

"Hold it how?"

"Trap the soul, transmigrate the body. No trace."

“Alright, so the ambassador is gone, we say she’s been taken by Moonshadow elves. Create a little division with Xadia. Duren could send a hundred spies to scour our kingdom and they won’t find a trace?"

"Correct."

Unlikely another ambassador will be keen to come after that.”

“I'm sure you have ways of getting your wish, Sire.”

Atticus flipped the coin and caught it easily, regarded his own reflection in the polished gold.

“Heavier than a normal coin.”

“Yes.”

“What magic?”

“Star they told me when I bought it, but that’s only because it increases the price considerably. I should say moon, perhaps some corruption of the moon primal. Hard to be sure without more research.”

“Interesting. Fine that plan is acceptable, can you reverse it?”

“Theoretically, I haven’t quite worked that part out yet, there are very few records of this sort of thing. Perhaps if Viren and I could use the castle library I might find something there.”

“As you wish.”

The king placed the coin back in the sack, pushed the others back in carefully and tied the string.

“I think perhaps I’ll let Viren have a few more months under you, so he can get used to the new role, he can attend the council meetings, but I’ll still consult you on the magical side of things. How does that sound?”

“Very good your majesty.”

Kpp’Ar bowed his head so Atticus couldn’t see his expression.

“Oh, and Kpp’Ar, send Viren to me later will you? There are a few things I wish to discuss with him.”

———

What are the complexities of Kpp’Ar and Viren’s relationship?

Viren and Kpp’Ar are carrying on a clandestine affair behind Lissa’s back… I mean maybe.. when I get into the planning of this AU Viren has a lot of affairs, clandestine and otherwise..

[porchtart]

i have a lot of thoughts just swirling in my head about grief and creativity, but it's very hard to verbalize what i'm thinking in a concise manner. i definitely am feeling very touchy and unhappy these days, and it's bothering me a lot that i've pretty much entirely stopped drawing. i have been writing a lot, which is fantastic - but i miss drawing a lot. i have so many ideas, but every time i pick up a pencil i feel sick. it's fucking miserable. i just want the grief to be done with, but it's not something i can just claw my way out of so easily.

i've been back in therapy too. it's good to have someone to tell about all the stuff going on inside my brain. i have such a hard time opening up to others, even those dearest to me. if you're reading this, sorry i'm so unwell.

i've been pretty much exclusively writing nikolae, which has been wonderful, but it definitely is making me keenly aware of where the pain points are in my life. he's always been a very therapeutic character for me, but he's become that even more so in the last year or so. i found an anonymous response i had given to someone asking survivors who write darkfic about their experiences with it, and reading back the pain that i'm too embarrassed to share as myself was so jarring - especially when i recognized where i was putting that pain into the story we are writing. i'm very grateful to have that writing as an outlet.

i feel like... not necessarily a live wire, but i do feel like i'm not myself lately. i'm so irritable and impatient. i am prickly, unable to live peacefully as myself. i feel like i'm having a crisis of identity. i know that most of it is certainly grief - that doesn't make any of it easier.

i've decided to quit my second job, but i won't be leaving it until early august. i just need to hang on until then, i guess. it will be nice to have my evenings back, no rotating schedules.

[sanctified-silence]

Statement of Grian... no last name, huh. Statement of Grian, regarding luring fishing experience. Original statement was given 12 of February, 2024. Audio recorded by [static] the head archivist of [static]. Statement begins.

I've never been quite into fishing before. Not much of surprise, I probably don't look the type, I know. And I don't think I am "into" fishing now, to be crystal clear. Actually, I think that I won't be able to even think of fishing after all this is done. I will just try my best to forget this ever happen and come back to the architecture.

It was meant to be a break, okay? I was in quite the burn out recently. Work, work, work and more work just piled up my back, not giving me any room for breathing. More projects, more calculations, more designs, more thrown out expensive paper. More awful people I have to deal with to explain why their idea of the architecture and exterior design not only majorly impractical, but also dangerous. And I was having none of it.

Of course, when I saw that damn advert, I didn't hesitate to throw it all far away for some needed pause. Here, I wrote down exactly what it was saying.

[There's an attachment to the file of a small paper, on which was written down the words "Stillwaters Paradise - the best place to relax and take it slow, while the time swirls around you". There's also some artistic rendition of what the advert looked like in a rather sketchy drawing of lake and forest]

The next thing I know I was at that park, paying for my stay. I remember the woman that met me at the counter. Something about her gave me the willies, maybe it was her almost white grey eyes, that seemed a bit big for her face, that stared at me with distant expression. Her hair were sticking to her face and neck in way they would if they were wet. She reminded me of a dead fish, holding her lips slightly open.

She asked me if I'd like the fishing equipment go into my check. At first I tried to refuse, but her eyes made me feel dizzy as she was talking about how great this park is for all fishermen, so I reluctantly agreed.

At first I was just taking a nice stroll around the park, taking in the nature, since it was beautiful, haven't visited that many natural resources in the UK, or anywhere, for that matter, but the place was gorgeous, full of different trees and flowers. What I did notice however was that it was quiet. Uncanny quiet, I mean. No birds, no flies, no mosquitos, no anything. Just the sound of leaves moving on the wind.

It weirded me out a lot, but I wrote it off as me being stressed and overworked or something. Coming to a lake, I noticed multiple sets of fishing equipment in the shack nearby, I remembered that I actually payed for it, so might as well make my money worth, I figured and took one. I know, it sounds kinda stupid in hindsight, but I didn't know at the time that it's not a common practice. As I said, never was a fishing guy.

There were a couple of people who were fishing there already. None of them greeted me or even glanced at me, when I came down to a shore. Weird, but I just thought it's because they were really concentrated on what they were doing. They still creeped me out so I took a place as far of them as I could. I tried to make sense of the fishing equipment stuff I got, it seemed pretty straight forward from sidelines. And soon the float was in the water, innocently bobbing around.

At first it was somewhat normal I caught a couple of small fish, no clue what they are, but they gave enough of rush of emotion to continue on fishing.

I was staring at the float, there it was making a small circles on the water surface, I felt my eyelids get heavier and it took me a lot of strength to keep the open. My stomach started making that weird feeling of my very insides rotating, like unsettled bad lunch. There was this float. Bobbing. With time the circles of waves it was making started slowly spiraling inwards. No, the whole water surface around it started bending in those shapes without a proper form, shifting, breathing. Same is for my fishing rod.

Well, the rod in my hands stood unchanged, maybe a bit sharper and pointy than it's supposed to, but it was still normal. It's the fishing line, it's spun on itself and then in the next moment there was two. Three, four, six, ten, all different, with the same float, but they bounced on those weird waves that made no sense in their own manner. A few of them were pulled down as if the were getting the fish.

I tried to pull, but to no avail, the fish, or whatever was biting the bait was far stronger than me, but I could pull the other ones with no problem. It is then I looked into the sky, I don't remember why, maybe because I needed to stop my eyes from hurting, or maybe it was my growing headache, but there was no relief for either of them up there. Because all of the sky was in those fractal impossible shapes. Even the sun, it looked cartoon almost, bright, but not blinding. Headache inducing.

I got up from my fishing spot and immediately regretted it, the wildest vertigo I ever felt made me dizzy, I closed my eyes, trying to find a balance, but when I opened them again, I felt even more sick. I was standing in the sky, fishing. One of the rods caught on the sky's fractal and I tugged. I wish I didn't.

When I pulled, the whole damn sky was swept away under my feet and swirled, becoming this mess of blue, orange, yellow, green and white, trying to mix with water and surroundings of the park. The colours were bright, the edges of this swirl were sharp and it cut me and my clothes in multiple places, I think it even broke one of my nails. But it called me. It hurt to look, to touch, to even hear, because the noise was nothing I ever thought was possible, but I stepped into it. And another step, going further and further.

Just like that it was over.

Another visitor of the park was shaking me violentely, as we stood in the lake, knee deep. There was no rod in my hands. Actually there was nothing on my hands or arms or anywhere on me for that matters those deep painful cuts that I thought was there a moment ago. I looked back at where my fishing spot was, where also supposed to be the fish I caught. There was no fish there.

After that with half wet pants I drove off, back home. Far from this weird place. I remember the look of something I can only interpret as hungry disappointment in the face of the woman at the front desk.

I had a several nightmares after that, all far too bright and confusing. I remember standing in the fishing store, looking at equipment, but I have no recollection of going in. I found a rod by my door in one of the mornings. Sold it immediately. I found myself even driving the road to this park at multiple times, but turned around as soon as I understood where I was going.

Today was a first day when I took a shower without feeling like the drain collected a swirling light with the water.

[breanutbutter]

Left it all behind *Sam x OC*

*hey all! This is my first published fic so kindness is super appreciated that being said if you have any constructive suggestions those are more than welcomed! I’m hoping to make this a chaptered series so let me know how you like it! Please enjoy!*

Sam x OC

No triggers

2925 words

Summary: Sam and Liza are friends from college, Liza invites Sam to a graduation party and he stands her up. They lose connection and haven’t seen each other in 4 years. Liza doesn’t know why san fell off the face of the earth h but she’s happy to reconnect.

Chapter 1:

*Flashback to 2005*

Liza’s pov

2005 was my year, I was finally finishing my bachelors degree in History after many hours of cramming for exams and forgetting to eat. it was finally all worth it. I poured my blood sweat and soul into this degree. I'm pretty damn proud of myself. I only have a few more months left to finish studying and I'll be free.

Student life has been exhausting. Whoever told me it would be the best years of my life are absolutely full of it.

As I'm in the library staring at the few words I scribbled out in my notebook for the essay I'm supposed to be writing, I see a familiar flash of messy chestnut hair rush past me. I set my pen down and rotate my body to get a better view of the guy with the hair of course it’s Sam. Sam and I weren't very close to say the least we didn’t know each other very well at all we had a few mutual friends at school that caused us to cross paths pretty often. We met in the fall 4 years ago. My friends knew Sam's friends. He's been at most events I attend so he's comforted me in a weird i-don’t-know-you way. I've always been good at reading people, from strangers to friends I had a bad feeling about. Sam tries to act polished and put together but I can tell there's something in his life causing him to hide his true self. He’s always a storm of chaos flying through the halls in a rush darting from side to side. He’s always in a wrinkled collared shirt strung over his body, never tucked in his pants neatly like our peers. I just know there's something in him he’s ashamed of. “Hey Sam!” I shout down the library aisle at the lanky boy that's scurrying off somewhere probably late for something important. He turned his body to face me stopping dead in his tracks, there was a smear of sweat over his forehead causing him to swipe his hand over it wiping it away. He looked like a mess of lost time and stress, his face twisted up in a look of confusion as to why i’m calling him over.

“Are you going to Ethan's graduation party in two weeks? ” I asked him to cross my legs over each other resting my cheek in the palm of my hand. He cocked an eyebrow up at me “i don’t think i was invited” he shrugged about to turn away seemingly to dart off for whatever reason. “That's okay you can be my plus one. See you then Sam "I smile as I wave him off. He offers me a curt nod and shy goofy grin. Ethan is our mutual friend, he's friends with Sam’s girlfriend Jessica. That's why I thought it was odd he wasn't invited or maybe he just didn't want to make small talk with me there. I finish my last couple of sentences before I pack it up and stuff my book in my backpack, the interaction still lingering on my brain.

*2 weeks after the initial interaction*

My brain shocks me back to reality as I remember the conversation I had with Sam two weeks prior. Twas the night of Ethan's big graduation party. Ethan explained that he likes to throw his party before graduation so we could finish studying and give us a bit of relief before the big exam comes up which is much appreciated. After letting my mind wander back to Sam for a short moment I realize it's already 5pm and the party starts at 7pm. After lots of deliberation I decide to hop in the shower to scrub the grime of the day off my body. I run myself a steamy shower and glide in letting the warmth engulf my cold body. I dip my head under the stream making sure my hair gets evenly coated with the hot water before I begin my normal shower routine. After my relaxing shower I wrap my favorite pink fluffy towel around my body tucking in the loose end under my armpit making my way back to my room. I let my damp towel fall to the floor as I picked out my outfit. I normally go for the safest option: a collared shirt and a modest pair of taupe pants but tonight I decided to go out with a bang. I flip through my abundance of modest attire and reach for my black strappy dress. It fits my body in all the right places. It accentuates my slim waist and allows enough cleavage to give a taste of what’s underneath the dress. I smile to myself and slip it on after my underwear and bra. I finish up my hair and makeup with just enough time to drive over to Ethan’s house. I greet my best friend who grew up in a similar family situation as me: wealthy and unable to be reckless. We grew up with each other and were as close as two peas in a pod. She’s the one I can rant to about my parents considering she understands how old wealthy parents are she gives great advice. Olivia was just finishing up talking to Ethan when she greeted me “hey girl right on time as always” she slapped me on the shoulder pointing at the overhead clock showing I was in fact not on time and I was almost 30 minutes late. I laugh and shove her back “hey it takes time to look this good!” I shout in her direction. After I shrug off my coat and shoes she pulls me into Ethan’s lush kitchen pausing to grab two shot glasses.

“We’re letting loose tonight” she says as she reaches for the vodka I audibly gag “fuck dude vodka tastes like rubbing alcohol” I hiss as she chuckles and pours out shots “don’t be a puss” she says. I bring the cold bitter liquid and suck it back feeling the burning sensation hit the back of my throat “I hate you” I say slamming down my glass causing an echo to ring through Ethan’s very large house.

After a couple more shots we end up mingling in the living room. I'm constantly checking my watch waiting for Sam’s arrival but he doesn’t show. After two hours goes by I look at the door and let a disappointed sigh pass through my lips. I don’t know why I care so much. I don't even know the guy yet I’m here anxiously waiting for his arrival. Another hour goes by so do a few more shots and by this time I’m living my best life and dancing to I wanna dance with somebody with Olivia and a few other drunk girls. I pause halfway through the song to glance at the door. Nothing. I nervously look around and pull my phone out of my purse, shooting a quick text his way ‘hey Sam! you coming tonight?’ I quickly send it and push my phone back to its confines of my purse. I easily forget about the whole Sam situation and eventually I’m wasted and it’s time to head home. Sam never texted me back; he stood me up. I shoved the thought out of my head as I stumbled through my door. He wasn’t even my friend, he probably had other plans.

I stripped out of my clothes and dove into my bed happy to head to bed after an exciting and excruciating night.

Present day 5 years later (2009)

I open my eyes as the sound of my alarm clock blares through the room. I squint as I roll over to check the time “shit” I mutter it’s already 8:15am I’m going to be late for work. I rub the sleep out of my eyes and jump up out of the warmth enclosing me. I leap into my closet and grab a white button up shirt with a small yellow daisy on the breast pocket, a black pencil skirt and my favorite black blazer. I quickly throw my outfit on my body and run to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I stare at myself in the mirror as I am cleaning my teeth, a mixture of toothpaste and saliva dripping down my chin. I'm unable to believe I’m late for work. little miss perfect is never late. I shake my head and spit the toothpaste into the sink. I’ve only been late once in my life: senior year of college that following Monday after Ethan’s graduation party. I was so stuck in my head as to why Sam never showed up. Rejection was my biggest enemy and I over thought every little thing even back then. I barely knew the guy yet I was so disappointed he turned me down for some reason. I shook the past out of my head and decided to focus on the now: getting to work as soon as possible. After slipping in some orthopedic flats I grabbed my coffee mug, purse and keys and raced out the door. I ended up late to work and was stuck in rush hour for nearly an hour.

I rushed into the museum huffing and puffing, setting my purse and coffee cup down at my desk. It wasn’t like I would get in trouble for my late arrival after all I was the head conservator . It was more of an internal issue I’ve dealt with for as long as I could remember.

“Hey Elizabeth what’s got you so out of breath?” My coworker Brent asked with a look of worry plastered on his face “I’m late” I said between breaths. He nodded and gave me a gently smile before turning on his heels,as soon as he was almost out of my office he turned back around “oh Elizabeth I almost forgot 2 Agents from the FBI have requested a meeting with our conservator and that would be you, they’ll be here in an hour” he smile and resumed his journey out of my office. “Thanks Brent!” I shout to him as he saunters away. I finally get a chance to sit down and enjoy my coffee over my many emails. What kind of business does the FBI have here at an art museum? I push the thoughts to the back of my head and let my breathing get back to normal. After about an hour I hear a knock on my office door “come in '' I shout. Brent pushes the door open with a small nudge and smiles politely at me “they’re here Elizabeth '' I nod my head and gather up my paperwork. “Show them the way to conference room 2 I’ll be there shortly, thanks Brent '' I give a swift nod before packing up my stuff to bring into the conference room, I’m unsure of what they’re looking for so it’s better to be prepared. I make my way to the conference space with my stack of paperwork and my laptop bag slung over my left shoulder. I give it a gentle nudge and it swings right open.

I step into the large room and set all my paperwork and laptop bag on the large conference table in the middle of the room before making any introductions. My back was turned to the two men as I prepared all of my information in a nice spread on the table. Once I finished laying everything neatly out I cleared my throat and turned around to face them. I firstly notice a man a little taller than me who gives me an almost forced smile and proceeds to introduce himself “ thank you for meeting us Miss Thayer i’m agent Hamil and this is Agent ford” the man says offering his hand to shake mine. I extend my hand into his and give him a firm handshake with a smile on my face. “It's a pleasure to meet you Agent, please call me Liza” I say gingerly before letting my eyes wander to the taller boy beside him. I only had a small glance at him previously while i was talking to agent Hamil so i didn't get a good view of him yet. As my eyes find his face I begin to wonder where I knew him from. He looked awfully familiar yet I couldn't place my finger on it. The taller boy snaps me out of my staring spell and extends his hand out to mine “nice to meet you miss” he says before taking a step back shuffling in his spot. As I hear his hoarse voice my mind is able to source whose voice it is: Sam Winchester’s. I am so beyond confused at this moment that my brain is running in overdrive. I swallow the saliva in my mouth harshly before offering them a seat. Sam looks the same as I last saw him yet different at the same time. He's taller and older yet there's something sadder in his eyes. He looks exhausted from life. He let his hair grow out, he could barely see over the mop of shaggy hair sitting on his head and now his hair is about chin length it suits him this way. I take a breath and turn my head to Sam nervously. What if he doesn’t remember me? Will he laugh at me or think im stupid? What if it isn’t even him? “Sam Winchester?” I blurt out my brain spitting those words out before I even have time to think if I want to ask him that question.

Sam gives me a confused look as if he’s unsure of how to respond. He doesn’t answer my question but explains why they are meeting with me. Sam talks for a few minutes about an artifact they are investigating before his partner, the shorter one from earlier interrupts him. “Where do you think you know him from?” he asks coldly pointing to his partner, it seemed like the question was still on his mind. I brush the strand of hair out of my face and look over at them. “I’m sorry for the abrupt question you look like someone i went to college with” i look down at my feet feeling the embarrassment ripple over my body and hit my face causing a sense of warmth to heat my cheeks up. His partner who I assumed was Sam pipes up “what college did you go to” he asks looking at me with a look of interest “stanford” i reply still looking at the hardwood floors. I look up and my eyes meet his, he has a look of remembrance on his face and grins widely “Liza Thayer? Whoa it's been awhile” his partner punches him in the arm and gives him a look of what-are-you-doing. I faintly hear agent hamil or whatever his name is angry whisper into sam’s ear “we’re working a case man stop flirting with the museum lady” they continued to silently argue before sam looked back at me from across the table “so how have you been?” he asked so casually and all i’m wondering is where he's been after he stood me up and dropped off of the face of the earth. “You know, living life. How have you been? How’s Jess?” I ask, the air seems to shift after i ask about Jessica Sam shuffles into his seat uncomfortably “uh Jessica passed away the night of the party” she speaks slowly and looks away “i’m so sorry” i say softly giving him an empathic look.

We stop talking about our personal lives after that and begin talking about artifacts, giving them the info they need. “Here’s a little more in depth information on the origin and other useful things about the tablet you are investigating” I say and hand them a few loose papers I scooped up off the table. They nod and thank me for the help “come around if you have any more questions” I smile as i stand up. “Thanks for the help” Sam says once more before they both exit my office.

After the long day I settle in my cozy pjs on my couch with a warm mug of tea between my hands trying to wrap my head around the day. I was late and I ran into Sam, what an unexpected day. I felt bad about Jessica, this whole time I was victimizing myself when it wasn’t even about me. Sam went through a whole loss that night and I was worried that he stood me up? Boo hoo. I just switched friends on the tv when I heard my phone ring. I saunter over to my home phone that's primarily for business calls. I pick up and hear Brent on the other line “someone broke into the museum” he said panic running evidently through his voice. “What?’” I ask not expecting to hear that at 8pm at night. Brent explains the whole situation to me about how an ancient tablet was stolen shortly after close and that i need to come down and access the scene. I nod into the phone as if he could see me “I'll be down as soon as possible. Thank you for letting me know Brent, "I say before hanging the phone up. What is up with today? I think to myself before rushing out of the house to investigate whatever the hell is going on.

[just-horrible-things]

‘Verse: Resistance Story: Unlikely Salvation, co-author @whump-sprite Timeline: Late Arc 2, Ariadne and Alex living together

Missing Taryn [ First | Prev | Next ]

Alex comes home to find Ariadne sitting on the kitchen floor, surrounded by the contents of the undersink cabinet, trying to unblock the drain with a bent coat hanger. She’s disassembled the trap and as many of the pipes as she can. Half the pieces are in the sink above, the other half balanced on the baking tray that’s catching the filthy water underneath.

“Heya,” Alex calls as he closes the door behind himself. “Hey,” Ariadne calls back.

She hears him take his coat off and go to the bathroom, then he comes into the kitchen and stops in surprise at the mess arrayed around Ari where she sits with her sleeves rolled up, arms streaked with black-green drain slime, up to her elbows in the sink’s guts.

“What’s up?” he asks. “The sink’s not been draining right.” He can hardly have failed to notice. “We let too much pasta and shit go down it, probably. I put drain cleaner down it yesterday but… it didn’t work. So now I’m trying this. The blockage is a pretty long way down and I’m having trouble reaching it.” She shrugs. “But I think it’s working. Slowly.”

“... can I get some water? I was going to make coffee.” “Sure. Just try not to let it go down the plughole, or it’ll land on me.” She leans out of the way to let Alex fill the kettle, then resumes threading the coat hanger back into the pipe to fish for another blob of goo.

There isn’t a lot of space in the kitchen for two people, even without an obstacle course of cleaning supplies covering the floor, but Alex finds a spot to lean against the counter and watch Ari work.

“Where did you learn to do that?” Ariadne almost laughs. It just seems like common sense – drain’s blocked, you stick something down and unblock it. But Alex just wilts if he thinks she’s laughing at him. “My mum could fix just about anything,” she says. “I guess I got it from her.”

The stove hisses gently. Ari glances up, and catches Alex with a strange look on his face – thoughtful and perhaps a little puzzled.

“You don’t talk about your family much,” he says. Neither do you, Ari thinks. Instead she says, "The apartment I grew up in was…. well, bigger than this, but not much bigger. The kitchen was a bit wider, probably not any longer, we had a second bedroom… Okay, a bit bigger. But it felt pretty cramped with four kids in."

"Things were always breaking, probably because kids don't treat stuff gently. The landlord didn't give a shit, and mum couldn't afford to call a guy in because she couldn’t work full time what with looking after us."

She's not sure where dad's money went, thinking about it. Alcohol, perhaps. They didn't talk about it. 

"So she'd get out a screwdriver or whatever, get one of the older kids to hold things for her, and she’d do it herself. She used to say, if you see something broken, you fix it. So that’s what I grew up doing."

Alex is quiet. Ari wrinkles her nose, rotating her bent wire and wiggling it back and forth to try and get the hook on the end to catch on the blockage instead of just poking uselessly at it. Behind her, the kettle starts to whistle. “Do you want coffee?” Alex asks. “Always.” He fills the press.

Finally the hook catches, and Ari is able to coax another disgusting glob up the pipe. She deposits it on the baking tray with the others. It’s mostly hair. How enough hair gets down the kitchen sink to form a major structural component of a blockage… must be one of life’s great mysteries. 

The smell of coffee starts to cover the drain stink.

“What about your folks?” Ariadne asks, as she starts to thread the wire back in once again. On the edge of her vision, she sees Alex shake his head. “It was just me and my sister,” he says. “I’m sorry.” He hums a little non-committal hum in acknowledgement.

She’s almost done here, she thinks. It’s hard to visualize what she’s touching with the wire, but she wiggles it around as far as she can, and she can’t feel it catch. She’d like to be able to put some water down it and see if it flows, but she’d have to reassemble all the pipes first.

“D’you… want your coffee down there?” Alex’s voice has turned brittle. Ari looks up. “No,” she says, “I’ll come get it in a minute, I’m filthy. … are you okay?” Alex looks down and away. “I miss her.” He says it like a guilty admission. “Oh, Alex. I’m sorry.” “No, I’m sorry. After what she did I shouldn’t be–” “Of course you miss her. She’s your sister. I’m not gonna get offended.” 

Ari sits back on her heels to look up at him. She almost puts her hands in her lap, then thinks better of it.

“She must seem like a monster to you,” he says. Ari tugs at her lip with her teeth, picking her words carefully. “I’m not her biggest fan,” she ventures. “But… she had a good reason to hurt me.” “No,” Alex says firmly. “Revenge isn’t a good reason.” “Okay. What I mean is… she had an understandable reason. I’m not… I don’t think I get to decide she’s a monster.”

Alex sniffs a little. “I thought you’d hate me for still loving her,” he confesses. “Definitely not,” she says. “Not even a little bit.”

He picks up his mug, then puts it down again awkwardly.

“... can I have a hug?” Ari grimaces, and shows him her hands. “You really don’t want a hug right this second,” she says. “I stink. Give me a minute to wash up, then yes.” “... What about the drain?” “The drain can wait. It won’t mind, it doesn’t have feelings.” He smiles a little bit at that. “I’m nearly done anyway.”

Ari washes up in the bathroom, soaping all the way up her arms. She scrubs, and rinses, and soaps up and scrubs again before she’s sure the smell is gone. Looking in the mirror, she finds she’s managed to touch her face and leave a black smear right across one cheek. She wrinkles her nose in disgust.

“Still want that hug?” she asks, when she returns to Alex in the kitchen. Alex nods. Ari hugs him tight around his ribs. He hugs back, and she feels him relax against her. She relaxes too, suddenly aware of how tense she was.

“You could go back, you know,” she says. “If you’re homesick. You don’t have to live with me forever.” “But… what would you do?” “The same as I do now, more or less.” “You’d be alone.” “Yeah,” she says, pulling back a little to look at his face. “I’m a grown adult you know. I’d be okay.” He hums, and reluctantly lets her go.

“I don’t want to leave you,” he says. “This… is working. Besides, I don’t know if… I’d be welcome. After…” He doesn’t have to finish that thought. After he helped Ariadne. After he chose an enemy over his own people. “Okay,” she says. “That’s okay, you don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want to. I just… want you to know that… if you want to, I won’t stop you leaving. I won’t be upset.” “Okay,” Alex agrees, voice still a little tight. “Oh, here  –” He picks up Ari’s mug, and puts it into her hands. “Oh.” She smiles. “Thank you.” She starts to take a sip, then wrinkles her nose. “Shall we go in the other room? It smells of drain in here.”

Settling onto the couch, Alex still looks mournful. Ariadne isn’t sure if she’s said too much, or not enough. She sits beside him, checking his reaction to be sure she’s welcome.

“Tell me about her?” she suggests cautiously. “Your sister. What’s she like, when she isn’t…” “Breaking people’s bones,” Alex says sourly at the same time as Ari finishes “-- mad.” He frowns, and Ariadne realizes what she’s asked. “You don’t have to,” she amends hurriedly, “you don’t have to tell me anything about her, forget I –” “No,” he cuts her off, “I know what you meant.”

He leans against her shoulder, and Ari shuts up to let him think.

“She was the only family I had,” he says. “She always defended me. Always. Ever since we were children.”

“She didn’t use to care about resisting the government, or fighting back. Neither of us did. We just wanted to survive. It was only after the Resistance rescued us from… from the hospital. After that, we wanted to help them help other people like us.”

“Tare didn’t want me to heal for the Resistance. She didn’t want me to ever have to heal anyone again, but… I wanted to. I didn’t want her to go off into danger fighting for them. But she wanted to. She was always brave. Fierce.”

Ariadne suppresses a shiver as goosebumps race across her skin.

“She had to be, to survive. To keep me safe.”

Everything Ari could say sounds trite in her head. You had a hard life. She cares a lot about you. I'm sorry. 

She rotates her mug in her hands, and wishes for the distraction of the drain. 

“I never thought,” Alex’s voice is quieter, sadder, “that she’d…” “I had it coming,” Ariadne says. “Ariadne,” Alex reproaches. “No,” she says, “hear me out. I know it was… wrong.” She says it, but it’s difficult to wrap her head around what could be right or wrong, under the circumstances. “I mean that… it followed, it was a consequence of what I did, what I was. I knew the risks. It was… a reaction, to my actions.”

Alex hmms sadly. His shoulder is growing warm against hers. “We don’t believe in that kind of torture. Not for any reason. Or at least… I don’t. I thought they, the Resistance, didn’t either. If I was wrong… then I don’t belong there, and I don’t want to.” Ariadne nods solemnly. “You don’t have to go back,” she affirms. “We’re doing fine, we can carry on like this.”

Alex meets her eyes, and nods, and wipes his nose, but something catches in his voice when he speaks. “I don’t hate her,” he confesses. “I – I miss her.” Carefully, checking his reaction, Ari puts her arm round him as he swallows back tears. “It’s okay,” she says. “It’s okay to miss her, it’s okay to not hate her. Of course it is. I get it. It’s okay. It’s… messy, and complicated, and… we have time to work it out. As much time as you need.”

Alex settles against her. “I don’t know if that’s true,” he says, choked up. “She… it’s a dangerous way to live. What if she dies, and I’m not there?” “Then… perhaps you can send her a message. Or arrange to meet up with her, talk to her.”

Maybe you could convince her to stop being a terrorist and go off with you, thinks a part of her that clearly hasn’t gotten the memo yet about that no longer being her damn problem.

“It doesn't have to be all or nothing,” she says. "Think about it." Alex nods against her shoulder. "And… it's okay, with you? If I want to see her?" Ariadne swallows. She thought it was. That's why she said it. But she's suddenly very conscious of her pulse thudding in her skin. "I won't let her hurt you," Alex says. "I won't let her. She doesn't even have to know where you are." "Then… yeah," Ari agrees, "yeah, it's okay with me."

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