#my dads started doing a thing where he gets mad at me for not cooking dinner. but i wasnt aware i was supposed to

[confused-alpaca]

ok am i completely misunderstanding social interaction here or is reminding someone of the previously decided plan for dinner (that wasnt even your own idea) not inherently telling them that you are the one going to cook it

[ghouljams]

Alone on Christmas? Mad at your dad?

Rating: E (MDNI) Words: ~11k Tags: Ghost x f!Reader, Dirtbag!Ghost, strangers -> ???, groping, non-con kissing, coerced consent, oral (F!Receiving), fingering, squirting, piv sex, kidnapping? Summary: A stranger online promises he'll make your parents' Christmas hell, and you're eager to take him up on the offer. You may have bitten off more than you can chew.

<Alone on Christmas? Mad at your dad?

[casual encounters]

“I am a 35 year old former SAS operator with no A levels, tattoos, and a motorcycle. I can play anywhere from 30 to 40 depending on if I shave. I’m a line cook and I work late nights at my mate’s bar. If you’d like to have me pretend to be in a long term serious relationship with you, to torment your family, I’m game.

I can do these things, at your request:

Openly hit on female guests while you act like you don’t notice

Start instigative discussions about religion and/or politics

Propose to you in front of everyone

Talk at length about my time in the army including what it felt like to kill a man(good or bad your choice)

Pretend to be really drunk as the evening goes on(don’t drink much these days, but I know the drill)

Start an actual, physical fight with a family member, either inside or on the front lawn for all the neighbors to see.

Only pay I want is the free meal and the entertainment.”

-do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

*

RE: “Alone on Christmas? Mad at your dad?” 

To:SASRiley@xxxxxx.xx

From:URHere@xxxxxx.xx

Is this offer still open?

*

RE: RE: “Alone on Christmas? Mad at your dad?”

To: URHere@xxxxxx.xx

From: SASRiley@xxxxxx.xx

Depends how far you want me to travel.

-S

*

RE: RE: RE: “Alone on Christmas? Mad at your dad?”

To: SASRiley@xxxxxx.xx

From: URHere@xxxxxx.xx

Any chance you’re in the XXXXX area? I’ll buy you lunch and we can talk details.

*

RE: RE: RE: RE: “Alone on Christmas? Mad at your dad?”

To: URHere@xxxxxx.xx

From: SASRiley@xxxxxxx.xx

Close enough for a free meal. I’m in XXXX

-S

*

RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: “Alone on Christmas? Mad at your dad?”

To: SASRiley@xxxxxx.xx

From: URHere@xxxxxx.xx

Let’s meet at Gallery Eats. Also can you send me an ID or something so I know what you look like?

*

RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: “Alone on Christmas? Mad at your dad?”

[attachment] [attachment]

Know you birds get jumpy, send it out to your little friends. 

Tuesday 15:30

See you there 

-S

*

He’s already at the shop when you get there, scrolling through his phone with his legs spread wide under the little wooden table, a full-face motorcycle helmet taking up more than half of the tiny tabletop.

You hadn’t realized how big the guy would be. Even sitting down he’s massive. You’d bet money he’s over six foot, and he easily eclipses the little cafe chair he’s settled in. His craigslist ad wasn’t lying when it said “tattoos.” The guy’s arms are covered in swirling black ink, and you follow the line of it up to the dark collar of his shirt where it peaks out to creep up his neck. He’s perfect. Your folks will hate him.

Dark eyes meet yours and a smirk creeps over his face, it tugs at a thin scar bisecting his lips.

He stands, and you bee-line for him.

“Thank god you look like your picture.” You huff, settling your bag on the chair across from him.

“That any way ta greet your man?” He grunts, holding a hand out. “Simon.”

You take his hand with a smile, and feel thick fingers wrap around your own. You glance down at the dark seal on the back of his hand, the carefully inked numbers already fading with age spelling out “141.” 

“So,” He smiles, leaning so far back in his seat that the chair tips, “How mad are we talkin’?”

*

It turns out Simon’s motorcycle isn’t his only mode of transportation. You roll up to your parents house in a half-wrapped muscle car that Simon claims he’s been “working on” and you can almost smell the distaste radiating off of your folks when they peak through the front window. Simon makes a big show of ignoring you while you try to get the oddly shaped Christmas gifts out of the trunk, lighting a cigarette and checking his phone while you struggle. Finally your parents decide to wander out onto their front step, and your father stalks over to take the bulkier gifts from you while Simon eyes him.

You grin at him, already pleased with his grumbling and glaring at Simon. Simon, for his part, offers a, “Sure it ain’t too heavy old man?” That makes a vein on your father’s temple throb angrily. He ambles after you and your father, and makes a show of giving your mom a once over.

“Sweetheart!” Your mother grimace-smiles at you, “Who is this?”

“This is Simon,” You sigh, leaning against Simon with a dopey smile, “My boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend.” Your mother grits her teeth, “You didn’t say you were bringing a guest.”

“Oh I know, but you can pull up a chair, right?” You gasp, “We’re not messing up your table are we?”

Your mother’s eye twitches. You know her well enough to know she’s already thinking about people bumping elbows at an overcrowded table. You can almost hear your little cousins complain about the lack of space. You also know she’ll never admit her annoyance in front of a guest.

“Of course not.” She smiles tightly, “The more the merrier.” She turns to Simon. “It’s nice to meet you Simon.”

Simon finally takes his cue, tossing his ashy cigarette onto the stone walkway with a flick of his fingers. He exhales nearly into your mother’s face before seemingly remembering last minute that, that’s rude.

“Nice to meet you,” His eyes flick down to your mother’s chest, “Can see where the bird gets ‘er tits from.”

You could scream with laughter the way your mother’s lips tighten into a thin line and her brows twitch down ever so slightly, the picture of barely contained shock and disgust. You can feel your father fuming on the other side of you.

“Why don’t we put presents down?” You chirp, trying to play at oblivious while Simon leers at your mother. She does her best to subtly cross her arms and tug the neck of her sweater closed. “Simon, do you have a hand to help dad?”

“Course, sweet’eart.” He hums, leaning to kiss your temple. A sweet gesture if he didn’t grab a handful of your ass at the same time, angled precisely so you’re sure your dad can see. “Christ you got a fat ass,” He mumbles, his voice low and graveled as he squeezes you again. You feel your cheeks heat in spite of yourself. It’s all pretend, all things you’ve talked about, but that doesn’t stop your body from reacting. His big hand lingers, fingers dragging over your ass as he pushes past your parents into the house. Uninvited.

You ignore your mother’s pointed look under the pretense of juggling presents, pushing into the house after your fake boyfriend.

Simon unceremoniously snatches the gifts from your father as soon as he’s in the house, haphazardly tossing the boxes under the tree while you carefully place your own presents, seemingly ignorant of your boyfriend’s lack of care.

“So how was the drive?” Your dad asks, trying to find something to talk about.

“Bloody awful,” Simon butts in before you can answer, he jerks his head in your direction, “‘ad to listen to the bird’s music the ‘ole time.”

“I thought you liked my music,” You pout.

“When tha fuck ‘ave I ever said that?” He snaps at you. You stifle the flinch and watch Simon’s brows draw down ever so slightly.

When you’d gone through all the details for this he’d told you to try and temper your flinching, assured you that you didn’t need to be scared of him, that if you were dating he’d never lay a hand on you. That didn’t stop his quick, harsh, response from startling you. At least the small crease in his brow made you think he didn’t enjoy the reaction.

“When we first met.” You smile, playing it off. 

“And you believed that?” Simon huffs, “Can’t believe I’m the first one to grab ya off the street with ‘ow gullible ya are.”

You blink at him, and turn to hastily cover for him to your dad.

“A consensual grabbing.” You assure him.

“Think I’m still deaf in my right ear from ‘ow loud ya screamed.” Simon grumbles, digging a finger into his ear as if to demonstrate his hearing loss. You feel your cheeks heat reflexively. Even fictional it’s embarrassing to imagine that you might have met a long term serious boyfriend in a kidnapping attempt.

Nevermind that the idea of someone like Simon grabbing you off the street is a major plot point in some of your favorite videos. You try to keep your mind out of the gutter, a difficult task with Simon’s fingers grazing your ass.

“It was a prank.” You continue covering.

“Bet actually.” Simon corrects in an attempt to make things worse. “Seein’ ‘oo could take the prettiest bird ‘ome.” He nudges your dad as if he’s bringing him in on the joke, “Should’ve seen ‘ow much this one struggled, should’ve known she’d be an ‘andful.”

“Your friends sound-” Your dad swallows whatever distaste boils behind his tongue in an effort to keep the peace, “interesting.”

“Served together.” Simon sniffs.

“Oh!” Your father seems to brighten at this new information.

“Lost a lot of good men, but kept all the worst, eh bird?” Simon tosses a smile your way. The playful grin lights up his face, tugs at his scars in a way that’s far too charming. 

“Where did you serve?” Your father asks, too eager for war talk.

“Went where I was needed.” Simon grunts. It’s an end to the conversation. You can see your father trying to think of where to go from there, if he should push for a different answer or ask about if Simon enjoyed his time in the service. He settles on exactly what you’re sure Simon was hoping for.

“So what do you do now?”

You almost brace yourself for his answer, and you’re glad for the added tension in your shoulders because it stops you from barking out a laugh.

“Beside fuckin’ the bird?” He doesn’t get another word out before your father growls out a loud.

“Alright-” that your mother cuts off with her well timed, if sudden entrance.

“Your aunt is on her way,” She informs you, “She’s excited to meet your boyfriend.”

“You got a lot of people comin’ ta this thing?” Simon asks, as if you hadn’t given him a full guest list.

“Just a few,” Your mother smiles, “my sister lives nearby so she’ll be bringing her boys.”

“Would’ve been nice ta know there were brats comin’ ta this thing,” Simon gives you a look and you pout.

“I told you this was a family thing.” You remind him.

“Didn’t know ya had so much family,” He sniffs, “Brother isn’t comin’ ta this too is ‘e?”

You have to stop yourself from grinning at the family landmine Simon so perfectly walked into.

“Henry doesn’t come to family functions anymore,” Your mother tells him curtly.

“Heard ‘e got tired of havin’ you scare off ‘is girls,” Simon grins, “thought you’d be a bigger bitch.” You choke. You mother’s gaze whips to you and you carefully go about adjusting the presents under the tree just so you don’t have to look at her. 

“Well I don’t know where you heard that,” The high note in your mother’s voice betrays her, the faux-calmness barely covering the boiling anger that’s starting to show, “but it’s not true.”

“Are you callin’ me a liar,” Simon’s voice takes an icy note in response and you glance over your shoulder to watch him roll his shoulders back. You can see the way his musculature moves even under his jumper. The threat is palpable, and also completely inappropriate for the situation.

He’s good at this.

It’s your father’s turn to diffuse the situation.

“You a footie fan?” He asks, because he’s ass at calming your mother (or anyone else) down. You can practically feel Simon’s attention shift, like the air in the room has to adjust to the pressure he exerts.

“City.” Simon huffs. You dad grins, and you know exactly what he’s going to say. Playful ribbing that somehow always ends in a screaming match.

“Manchester boy, eh? Ya find it hard losin’ to Liverpool all the time or do ya get used to it?” Your father jokes. The question hangs dead in the air. Simon hasn’t moved a muscle, so still it scares even you, and you know it’s just an act.

“You like chewin’ your food?” Simon asks, his voice so deathly calm that you grab his arm with  a laugh and pull at him.

“He’s just kidding Simon,” You placate, trying to pull your --wow this guy’s bicep is huge-- fake boyfriend away, “Right dad?”

“Oh come on,” You father tosses your way with a shake of his head, “I can handle a Manc-” He snorts and turns to Simon “-at least better than their players handle the ball.”

Simon flexes under your hands, and you physically can’t restrain him from shaking you off to stalk over to your dad. 

“Simon please,” You plead, you don’t even have to act, the way he grabs your father by the shirt collar you all but leap to wrap your arms around his waist and try to pull him back, “not again!”

“Again!” Your mother yelps as your father holds his hands up, eyes wide with fear.

“It was a joke,” Your father assures Simon.

“Fuckin’ better be.” Simon relents, releasing his hold on your father and turning those dark eyes to you.

“Look’t you grabbin’ me,” He grabs you before you can let him go, your muscles still vibrating with adrenaline. He holds your face with the same hand that had held your father, squeezes your cheeks with his fingers.“Real cute, thinkin’ you could ‘old me back.” Your stomach flips. “Taught you better’n that didn’ I? You want somethin’ you gotta ask, yeah?”

“I don’-” You try to shake yourself back to your senses and Simon squeezes you a little tighter, “Please let go.” Embarrassment settles hot in your stomach at the spark of… something in Simon’s eyes.

“There’s my girl,” He smiles, “Now give us a kiss love.”

You feel your stomach drop out, and you’re sure it shows on your face. Simon raises a brow. Your tongue feels too big in your dry mouth. You swallow and glance at your parents.

“I thought you said no PDA,” You try. This wasn’t in the brief.

“Just on the cheek then,” His smile is absolutely devilish, you wonder where he learned it, “Wouldn’t want ta embarrass you in front of your folks.” Your mother scoffs. Simon turns to glare at her and you rush a quick peck on his cheek just to get it over with.

His stubble is sharp where it pokes against your lips, but his skin is surprisingly soft. You almost hesitate pulling away. Your skin already feels hot with the humiliation of kissing a veritable stranger whose only goal is to antagonize your parents for the evening, so you don’t waste time with the action.

You’re saved by your aunt opening the front door with a loud, excited:

“Happy Christmas!”

Before she freezes in the doorway. Your cousins rush in, seemingly unaware of the tension and you take the opportunity to pull out of Simon’s grip.

“Is this a bad time?” Your aunt asks as tactfully as she can given the energy in the house.

“It’s a great time,” Simon answers for the crowd with a smile. Your mother throws an alarmed look your way and does her best to plaster on something less emotional for her sister.

“I thought you were gonna help with the presents,” Your uncle calls from behind your aunt, who immediately turns to help him get the boxes in. You see her vaguely gesture at the house through the crack between the door and the frame and wonder just what she’s trying to convey. 

This holiday is already off to a terrible start. Which is great. But you can’t shake the feeling that it’s going… worse than you’d initially thought it would.

“When are we eating?” One of your cousins asks, you turn to see the teen, Jack, staring at you. You suppose you’re the only adult that ever really gives any of them the time of day, makes sense he’d ask you.

“Uh,” you blink, trying to come up with a decent answer for him, “probably soon.”

“I wanna open presents,” One of the little ones whines.

“You gotta wait,” Jack tells him. 

“Ok!” Your aunt announces as she comes back inside, now holding gifts, “Looks like you’ve already started the party!”

“Haven’t even started drinking yet,” Simon assures her. Your uncle joins the fray, shuffling past you to set his gifts under the tree as well.

“You drink.” Your mother clarifies with a smile, she’s hiding the horror well.

“I’m the life of the party love,” He tosses your mom a wink and turns to look around. You assume for the liquor.

“What do you drink?” Your uncle asks, good natured as usual. That’ll change.

“Bourbon.” Simon hums, “But I’ll take a beer if that’s all ya got.”

“Sure there’s somethin’ around here somewhere.” Your uncle meanders over to your parent’s short liquor cabinet and starts rifling through the bottles. Your mother shoots you a look that practically begs you to stop him.

“Do you need something mom?” You ask, oblivious.

“It’s just a little early to start drinking, don't you think?” She asks, a leading question. You know what she’s trying to do.

“You sayin’ I can’t get a drink?” Simon asks.

“Let the man have a drink,” You uncle cajoles, “It’s a holiday!”

Your mother’s lips press into a thin line. She doesn’t comment on the glass your uncle pours for Simon, but she does retreat to the kitchen with your aunt in toe. You’re almost tempted to follow them and see what they’re saying. Maybe you could throw some fuel on the fire. Simon throws an arm around your shoulders before you can move, holding you against his side to keep you in place. You glance up at him, he doesn’t look at you. 

You tug your phone from your pocket for something to do, trying to look busy and uninterested in the chaos Simon is sowing, when it’s all you can think about. He manages a normal conversation with your little cousins, going through introductions like a regular person, even commenting on the shirt Jack is wearing. You glance at it and just know that was a fight with his mother. Looks like it’s based off some horror movie, blood dripping off a knife held aloft by a masked figure. Not very Christmas-y.

You can almost hear the argument that must have taken place when he’d put it on.

Simon must be smart enough to figure that out because he’s really hyping up the teen over the shirt. Talking about the movie and complaining about how his mom sounds like a bitch. Your cousin blinks at the swear before you see a grin split his face.

“Fuck yeah, is aunty letting us swear now?” Jack asks, too excited to contain it.

“The fuck is she the queen of England?” Simon laughs, turning to you, “Your mum’s not lettin’ ‘em swear?” You shrug.

“She says it isn’t ‘proper’.” Jack rolls his eyes.

“Fuck proper.” Simon snorts. He shoots you a look as he sips his drink. You’re sure Jack will be cussing the rest of the evening with Simon to back him up. Your mom’s gonna love that.

Your aunt comes out of the kitchen and grabs her husband to whisper in his ear. Your uncle glances at Simon and makes a confused face. One of the younger ones runs up to them and loudly asks:

“What’s fuck mean?” 

Simon averts his gaze and you feel his shoulders shake with restrained laughter. You have to hold it in yourself, the glare your aunt sends Simon’s way is too funny. The kid was bound to hear it from his brother eventually. Really, Simon is saving the teen from being grounded with that one.

Your mom comes sweeping into the living room just in time to save Simon from getting an earful. Your aunt’s glare transfers to her before she can fix her face. Your mother’s lips pucker, an unpleasant understanding that something is happening crossing her eyes. She ignores it, much like every other unpleasant thing you’ve witnessed with her, in favor of normalcy.

“Dinner is ready!” She announces.

“That was fast,” You blink, usually she spends more time milling about and waiting for people to finish a few cocktails.

“Well,” She smiles at Simon, “I thought I’d speed things up so nobody misses any other christmases.”

“Got nowhere to be.” He informs her.

“Oh I’m sure you’re mother would-”

“Mum’s dead.” Simon sniffs.

“Then your fath-”

“If the bastard was still alive I’d kill ‘im myself.” Simon smiles at her over the rim of his glass before knocking back the rest of the bourbon and pouring himself another two fingers, “You got me all night if I want.”

Your mothers lips pucker again, the slightest hint of distaste in her expression before she manages a smile.

“We’re glad to have you.” She offers. You expect she’ll still try to force you out early. “Dinner?”

“Bloody starvin’.” Simon grunts, pushing past her towards the kitchen.

Your uncle is already serving himself from the various pans laden with food. Your father isn’t far behind him, eyeing the roast like a man starved.

You grab one of the Christmas patterned plates and hold it out to Simon, letting him queue behind your father. He glances around and you watch his eyes land on your cousins hovering nearby.

“Adults serve first,” You whisper to Simon when he steps back from the line for food to let the kids cut in front. It’s a quiet motion that presses him into you, he glances back like he might give you an apology before he makes eye contact with your aunt and loops his arm around you instead. 

“What?” He asks loudly, “Your mum tryin’ ta starve the poor buggers or somethin’?” You blink at him. He raises a brow. “No heart under those tits, eh?”

Your aunt gasps and he gives her a once over. You keep your eyes on your little cousins as they happily load up their plates with turkey and mashed potatoes. One of the older boys smothers his whole plate in gravy and honestly, you can’t blame him.

“Can’t be jealous, ya clearly got the better ass.” Simon tells your aunt as you scooch around him to get your own plate. He catches you around the middle and pulls you back, curling over you. He tips your head back with a hand on your throat, thick fingers squeezing just enough to dimple the skin.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asks. You barely hear him over the roll of butterflies in your stomach. Your cheeks blaze with heat, and you clench your thighs together tight at the way he glowers down at you.

“I’m gonna make you a plate,” You tell him, he pinches your cheek and lets you free.

“Good girl,” He tells you, “Got ‘er well trained don’t I?” He jokes to your aunt, who you can feel radiating anger behind you.

You don’t really know what he likes, but Simon is a big guy so you get him a bit of everything, loading up his plate like you do this every day. It’s probably too much food, but part of you sort of likes the idea that he’s eating what you “made” for him. You hand him the full plate and he smiles, you turn back to grab your own food --you must still be nervous from having his hand at your throat-- and he smacks your ass. You bite back the yelp that threatens to break free. The sharp sting of pain spreads through you like wildfire, blossoming over your skin even through your skirt.

You quickly pile food onto your plate, hoping your aunt takes your speedy exit as one of embarrassment and not one of- well a different sort of embarrassment.

You manage to squeeze into the seat next to Simon, feeling his thick thigh press against yours like a warm anchor. Your mother gives him a dirty look as he reaches to fool with one of the candles in the middle of the table. You’re sure she heard his loud announcement that she doesn’t care about her nephews. His other hand settles on your leg under the table and you stiffen. Thick callused fingers grip your thigh, squeezing the soft flesh with something you desperately want to call reassurance. He knows no one can see that, right?

You watch the rest of your family fill the table, your little cousins already picking at their food, stuffing salad leaves into their mouths and pretending not to lick the gravy off their fingers. You wait for everyone to take their seats before you pick up your fork and your aunt shoots you a look.

“I’d like to-” your aunt starts only to be cut off by your fake-boyfriend.

“I want ta make an announcement.” Simon tells the table loudly, the conversation goes dead, your mother’s eyes bore holes into you, begging for anything but an announcement. You think she might bend her fork with how tight she grips it watching Simon shove his chair back to drop to one knee. You clasp a hand over your mouth, doing your best to play the part of shocked girlfriend, despite having planned this. 

“Simon!” You squeal as he tugs a black ring box from his pocket.

“Lemme talk baby,” Simon hushes you and you shut your mouth quickly, “I know it’s only been a couple a months-” the look in your mother’s eyes could kill an elephant, “-but I’m mad fer ya, an’ I know birds like you get off market quick so if I wanna keep that ass to myself I bloody well better get ya tied down.” Your mother gasps.

“Shut ya gob, I’m tryin’ ta propose.” He snaps at her, and she leans back like she’s been struck. Simon turns back to you, and you feel a rush of heat drip between your legs at the look in his eyes. This guy should be on TV with how good an actor he is.

“Will you marry me?” He finally gets out and you nod.

“Of course I will!” You fling yourself against him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

His big hands find your waist and squeeze. You pull away to take the ring box and he nearly pulls you out of your chair, only to push you back into it as he kisses you.

Your eyes go wide and you struggle to keep your hands on him when all you want to do is lurch away. Not a good look on an excited and newly ringed up girlfriend.

But the way he kisses you makes your stomach churn. His lips cover yours and almost as quickly as you get used to the feeling his tongue is trying to force its way into your mouth. You rush to close your eyes only to feel his tongue, thankfully, retreat. And be replaced by his teeth, biting your lip hard enough to bruise, prying your lips apart to slip his tongue in and lick your teeth. 

Your head swims, your eyes rolling at the way his hands grope and squeeze you, tagging every soft scrap they can find while he attempts to devour you. He does something with his tongue, twists it against yours to tickle the roof of your mouth, and you make a noise without meaning to. It’s all you can do to remember to clumsily slide your lips against his. You’re not sure you make a pretty picture when he pulls away, his spit trailing off your slick, swollen, lips. You suppose this evening isn’t really about painting a pretty picture.

It makes you squirm to feel his big thumb swipe over your lower lip, dragging the poor thing down to see your teeth. 

A chill racks your body as his eyes follow the motion of his thumb.

Your father loudly clears his throat. Your mother looks mortified. Your little cousins are covering their eyes while the teen pointedly looks at his phone.

Simon rubs the ring on your finger, pressing the metal back and forth against your skin. When the fuck did he put that on you?

“I’d like to say Grace,” Your aunt tries to wrestle the evening back into familiar territory as Simon sets you back in your chair. 

Your family bows their heads and you smack your knee on the underside of the table as you jump, unprepared for how high Simon’s hand settles on your thigh. You don’t even hear whatever prayer your aunt is saying with the way the blood rushes in your ears at the wide splay of Simon’s fingers. So. Close. 

You settle your hand on his and try to push him back to safe ground.

Jesus this guy is strong. Pain in your-

“Everything okay over there?” Your uncle asks. You must have looked like you were struggling more than you thought you were. 

“Fine,” You tell him, even though things are decidedly not fine and Simon won’t move his hand, “Just fussing with the ring.”

“Oh yes,” Your aunt holds her hand out across the table, “let’s see it.”

You hesitate before taking your hand off Simon’s. He doesn’t move, seemingly settled with where he’s settled. You hold your hand out for her to grab, let her turn your hand this way and that. Simon had told you he’d grab a ring, so you haven’t actually seen it yet. It’s pretty. A nice pear cut diamond with a trinity of what looks like pearls on either side. You wonder where he got it, you’re just glad it looks less fake than costume jewelry usually does.

“How nice,” Your mother coos, it sounds even less sincere than her compliments usually do.

You’re thankful you don’t need to do much talking at dinner. Simon more than makes up for you. He talks at length about how “mint” your friends are --he’s never met them-- and how his mates are begging for a go with you. He explains to your teen cousin, at length, how his violent video games could be worse, after your aunt bemoans the fact he’s been playing war sims. He makes no move to censor himself, actually from the few conversations you’ve had with him, you think he’s swearing more than he usually does. He even manages to start an argument with your father about “taking the gloves off” during combat.

“Different once you’re in active combat,” He explains like he’s talking to your father, “You do what you have to, keepin’ your ‘ands clean isn’t exactly front of your mind.”

You glace across the table at Jack, the teen looks completely invested in whatever Simon is saying. You can almost hear the look your aunt has fixed you with, you’re sure you’ll get a call later about your fiance “encouraging him to get himself killed.” 

“Oh please,” Your father blusters, “if that were the case the royal service would be under investigation. We’d see it on the BBC: Special Air Service members torture civilians. What a load of horse-” Your mother coughs and your father shuts his mouth.

“Got plenty of men like me givin’ orders,” Simon digs into his pocket to pull his cigarettes, stopping with his teeth around the filter of one when your mother coughs loudly. He shoves them back into his pocket with a grumbled swear. “Like I told ya earlier, ‘s not the good men that come back.”

“You’re so cool,” Jack tells Simon with wide eyes. Your aunt smacks his arm with the back of her hand, reprimanding. Simon’s eyes narrow.

He watches your aunt the rest of dinner. The conversation drifts as plates are emptied. You attempt to stand to help clear the table, and Simon holds you in your chair. Your mother putters around the table with your aunt, you smile and thank them. You’re almost done. Then you can go home and wait for the flood of texts/calls from your mom.

You can just imagine the way she’ll try to convince you to break off your (fake)engagement. You’ll wait a few weeks before spinning up some story about Simon cheating on you. Your family will be so grateful Simon’s gone they won’t ask any questions.

“Does anyone want pudding or are we going straight to-”

“Presents!” Your youngest cousin cuts your mom off, rushing  to the tree as soon as his plate is cleared. Your aunt grabs him and brings him back to the table only for him to run over again. She manages to pull a gift from his little hands, and bring him screaming back to the table. You wince at the sharp sound, the fat tears rolling down the kid’s chubby cheeks, crying about opening presents. Your aunt reminds him shortly that there’s still dessert to get through. It barely makes a dent in the tears. The kid pulls at his mom’s grip, screaming and kicking. 

Simon’s hand on your thigh tippens its grip. 

You know, you know. It’s never fun sitting around with a kid throwing a tantrum, but you’re sure your aunt will handle it-

There’s a sharp crack as your aunt spanks the kid. Hard.

Simon shoots up from his seat.

Your little cousin’s tears turn to sniffles and a wobbly lip as his mom gives him a hissed warning. 

Your hands shake as Simon stalks around the table to grab your aunt’s hand.

“The one thing you’re not gonna fuckin’ do,” He tells her in a low warning tone, “is hit your fuckin’ kid in front of me.”

It’s so different from the anger he’d had with your father over football. You know that, that was acting, but this… It radiates off of Simon like a miasma, dark seething hatred, anger like you’ve never seen. Your aunt looks at him like she’s seen a ghost. Her eyes are wide and scared, her hand still holding your cousin’s arm squeezes tighter, like the child is her only lifeline. 

“Ow!” The kid whines, the sniffles starting again in full, “Mum that hurts.” 

Simon cocks his head, his own grip tightening.

“Let ‘im go,” Simon presses, his anger as cold as death, “Or I’ll break your arm.”

“Simon,” You don’t know what you’re hoping your voice will add to this, not even sure what you should do, all you know is that you brought Simon into this house which makes him your responsibility.

“He’s alright,” Your aunt tries to assure Simon, “aren’t you sweetie?”

“Mum!” Your cousin whines again. Your aunt lets go of his arm like it’s burned her.

“Now apologize.” Simon demands. Your aunt nods sharply and swallows.

“Mum’s sorry baby,” She directs the comment at your cousin but her eyes are fixed on Simon, watching him like a rabbit watches a wolf. “It was just a little spank.” You think the pleading justification makes it worse with the way Simon’s eye twitches. 

“I ever catch you hittin’ ‘im again-” Your aunt’s eyes dart to you, to the fake rock on your finger, “-and it won’t just be your arm I break.”

Your glance to your mother for- God you don’t even know, help? Maybe? She glares at you like this is your fault. Fair enough. Your uncle seems quicker on the uptake.

“Maybe we take Christmas to go,” He chimes in, “Grab the kid’s gifts, since they seem tired.”

Your mother grabs hold of this lifeline as quickly as she can wrap her head around it.

“Absolutely!” She hurries to the tree to start sorting out gifts, “Oh I didn’t realize they’d be so exhausted, we all know fits are just fits, right Simon?”

“I look like I’m throwin’ a fuckin’ fit?” Simon asks her, his voice still cold.

“You know I’m pretty tired too,” Your aunt agrees.

“I’m not.” Jack chimes in.

“Yes, you are.” His mom hisses.

“And it looks like snow,” Your uncle adds, “so we should go.”

You hardly get a word in before your cousins are rushed out the door, no hug or forced familiarity from your aunt as she and your uncle juggle presents and strapping kids into car seats.

Simon takes one of the armchairs in the living room amidst the chaos, dangling his glass with his fingers on the rim as he glowers at your aunt. Your attempt to help them gather presents is stopped by Simon pulling you down into his lap. You stiffen reflexively to try and leverage some of your weight off of him, and he pulls you to lean against his chest. 

Maybe it’s good you don’t say good-bye. You’re not sure anything you could say would sound sincere with the way you’re perched on your fake fiance. You’ll definitely be hearing about this later.

You’ve never seen anyone in your family leave that fast. Your mother must blame you for this social faux pas with the way she glares at you. She’s not even trying to hide it, seemingly having deemed Simon as unworthy of her usual polite routine. She stops just short of yelling at you in front of him. Must be too afraid of what he’ll do to her if he’s willing to break your aunt’s arm over her kid.

You’re not sure when you lost control of the evening, but you’re ready to go. Your aunt’s exit should be your exit too. You even open your mouth to tell your mother it’s been a lovely evening.

Simon beat you to it.

“Let’s open presents.” You’d almost call it an order with how edged his voice is.

“We don’t have any for you,” Your mother attempts, “it wouldn’t be fair to open them now.”

“Don’t need a present,” Simon assures her, “Bird’ll gimme somethin’ later.” Your mother’s eye twitches. Simon’s hand slides over your thigh, his thumb rubbing gently at the sensitive, clothed, skin. Your nerves must be on high alert to feel his touch so acutely. He gestures with his glass at the tree. “Go’an,” He orders again.

The tension in Simon’s form slowly seeps out of him as your parents shuffle presents out from under the tree. His body, which had previously seemed poised to leap at the slightest provocation, relaxes back against the chair as your mother hands you a present. She smiles at you warmly, almost pitying, when you thank her. Simon’s hand doesn’t leave your thigh, possessive in a way that feels too close to reality. 

“Oh wait,” You tell your mother as she pulls one of the gifts you brought from the pile. You slip from Simon’s lap, and for some reason he lets you, bent at the waist to point to a different box. His hand slides over the swell of your ass with an appreciative hum and you have to stop the tremor in your voice as your blood rushes south. “That one first,” You smile, “otherwise this one won’t make sense.”

The normalcy of it is more welcome than you’d thought. Somehow your usual family Christmas doesn’t seem as tense or fraught with conversational landmines now that Simon’s intruded. If nothing else you suppose he’s given you that. It’s certainly easier talking to your parents when they keep casting nervous glances at Simon to make sure this is an appropriate line of conversation. 

Simon, for his part, does little except keep you in his lap as you tear into the paper wrapped boxes. Occasionally his hand moves from your thigh to squeeze your stomach, or your side, as if he’s checking that you’re still all there. It’s not exactly casual, and the heat that builds between your legs as he drags his callused fingers across your stomach makes you want to squirm back into his chest, just to try and escape the ticklish feeling.

You try to focus on the gifts, drumming up the appropriate amount of excitement to look grateful while all of your attention is on the spread of Simon’s fingers. His hand splays wide against you and you try to trace the outline of it, distract yourself from how big his hand is. 

But distracting yourself from the spread of his hand directs you towards the spread of his legs, to the firm muscle of his thick thighs, to the slight softness of his stomach when your back starts to hurt and you lean against him with less stiff of a spine. Your eyes drift to the window as your mother coos over the knitting supplies and class pass to her favorite craft store. It’s so dark out, the sun already disappeared behind the horizon and the streetlights are doing their best to shine even when the night dims them. You’re already tired.

Your phone buzzes and you check it with a glance.

It’s a weather alert.

You scramble off Simon’s lap only to be dragged back into it.

“Where d’you think you’re goin’?” He asks, his hands grip your sides, fingers just brushing the edge of your bra. You can’t deal with the way being pulled like this makes your head swim. Fuck, maybe he could just grab you off the street and- NO.

“Simon,” You push at his hands, “problem.” 

“No problem love,” He hums. Lips brush the shell of your ear and you stiffen as heat blooms over your cheeks, “‘Cept you gettin’ up oll the time.” “It’s snowing.” You insist, still pushing at his hands.

Your father looks at you with confusion and glances out the window. It’s hard to see when it’s so dark out. You’re suddenly hit with a grim understanding of why the street lamps seem so dim. Your dad walks to the front door and tugs it open only to be pushed by the gust of cold wind and snow that rushes into the house.

The wind is positively howling.

Your father muscles the door shut and your mother nervously clicks on the TV to check the weather. She doesn’t even help your dad brush all the snow off him, worrying her lip as her eyes fix to the screen. 

“Not gonna be able to drive home in that,” Your father grimaces. Your mother shoots him a look before skirting her eyes around you to watch Simon. You can almost feel his smile.

“You wouldn’t mind us stayin’ ‘ere would ya?”

You flip on the lights in your childhood bedroom. Simon looms behind you. Reasonably you understand why he insisted on staying, even why he insisted on sharing a room. As far as your parents know you’re happily engaged, and as far as you could tell there was a blizzard raging outside. Honestly you’ve never seen anything like it, and if you didn’t know any better you might have blamed Simon for it. 

You have never in your life been more aware of another person’s presence. 

“In you go love,” Simon tells you, pressing you forwards with a hand on the small of your back. You stumble into your room and turn in time to watch Simon close the door. He bends down to unlace his boots and you manage to kick off your shoes in the time it takes him to straighten again. Now that you’re alone you feel on edge. All the casual friendly airs that Simon had been putting on when you’d met him before have done nothing to prepare you for the weight of his full attention. You’re only too happy when he turns to survey the room.

“I can take the floor,” You inform him, already gathering the spare blankets and pillows your mom had set on your twin bed. 

“Sit down,” Simon orders, your ass hits the side of your mattress so fast you haven’t even registered the command before you’ve followed it, “You’re takin’ the bed.”

His tone leaves no room for argument. You suppose it could almost be called kind of him to give you the bed.

“Sorry,” You tell him quietly, mindful of your parents in the next room.

“What’re you actin’ sorry for,” He huffs, “Sweet bird like you doesn’t mind sharin’, does she? Besides,” He knocks your knees apart with a big booted foot, “I still gotta get paid.”

You stare up at him, confusion plain on your face. 

“I thought you just wanted the meal.”

“Meal’s not finished, is it?” He tells you, “Never got dessert.”

“Wha-”

“Take your fuckin’ pants off.” His tone is clipped, short, and deep. It sinks into your skin, prickling goosebumps everywhere he’d touched earlier. Which feels like it must have been, well, everywhere. 

You should say “no.” Literally nothing about this man has given you any indication that he’s someone you should want to get undressed for, and he’s spent the better part of the day tormenting your family. Granted you did ask him to do that, and honestly his efforts do land squarely in the “pros” category, but he’s a little too good at playing a dirt-bag. And this? This just seals the deal on that particular observation.

So you should say “no.”

But the way his big hands had grabbed you, the way his tongue had wound against yours, the way he looks down at you now, hungry, makes you desperately want to do whatever he asks you to. 

“My parents are in the next room,” You whisper, glancing back at the wall that separates the two rooms.

“Who gives a shit?” Simon snorts, “Don’t ‘appy couples celebrate their engagement?” Your eyes flick down to his trousers, the implications aren’t lost on you. He must catch you looking because his hand grabs your hair and tips your head back. “Trust me birdy, I’m tryin’ ta be nice, but if ya wanna choke on it…”

You race to get your trousers open, fingers shaking as you push them down. You don’t need to see his cock to make some leaps of logic that it’s just as big as the rest of him, and if he’s offering you the choice between his mouth on you, and your mouth on him-

Simon leans forward and unceremoniously shoves his hand into your panties, your trousers barely down your thighs. Your train of thought comes to a full halt as big fingers stroke through your folds.

“Atta girl,” He hums, “much ‘appier like this, aren’t ya?” He tugs his fingers free, spreads them in front of your face with a pitying pout at the way your slick glistens on his skin. “Least your cunt knows what’s good for it.”

He pushes your head back, tossing it towards the bed as he releases your hair. Your back hits the mattress and you have to work to keep from hitting your head on the wall. Simon’s fingers find the hem of your panties and drag them down your thighs, catching your trousers to discard the lot on the floor. 

You snap your legs shut against the chill of the room and he growls. 

“None of that now,” He advises, prying your legs apart. His fingers dig into the soft meat of your thighs, his gaze fixed on the wet mess between them. The way he stands over you makes him feel massive, makes the way he leans over you feel looming. 

His hands slide over your ticklish inner thighs and you have to stifle the giggle that threatens to spill from you. You doubt Simon would appreciate your laughter, might even think you’re laughing at him. Again your eyes dart to the hard length straining against his trousers as his thumbs spread your folds.

“Pretty,” He says it so plainly, casually, like he’s judging a toy. It blazes through you, lighting up your nerves and making you shiver. Any other protests you might have had die on your tongue as Simon drops to his knees. 

Seeing him between your legs makes your stomach clench, makes your cunt pulse with desire. One of his thumbs rubs up and down the seam of your cunt while the other keeps you half-spread. He presses his thumb firmly against your clit, the pressure makes your hips squirm, makes you ache for more stimulation. The pressure stops, and his thumb traces its way back to holding you open.

He spits.

You flinch when it hits your spread folds, body vibrating with embarrassed heat as it slides over you. Simon’s eyes follow it the whole way down, and his tongue drags it back up.

Simon’s tongue cards through your folds, warm and wet, and he groans low in his throat. It’s positively sinful the way he pulls his tongue slow and flat over you, like he’s trying to savor the taste. You snap your hand over your mouth, stifling the soft whimper that the attention brings to your lips. 

Simon’s eyes flick to your face and he makes a frustrated noise. You feel his teeth touch your skin just before he bites you. You yelp at the sharp pain, your hand shooting from your mouth to his head in an attempt to push him away. Simon tips his head back to bite at the meat of your palm, his teeth digging into the firm flesh before his tongue licks over it. There’s a sharpness to his teeth, chipped edges that scrape at your skin and ache before he soothes them. 

You don’t want him to bite you again.

You don’t think you do.

Do you?

His tongue rolls over your palm, wetting the dry skin with spit and slick. His mouth has a heady sheen to it that makes you want to drag your tongue over his lips, to clean up the light prickle of his beard with your own mouth.

“No sense lettin’ you breath if you’re not gonna scream for me,” Simon informs you. Your face has never felt hotter than when his teeth scrape down your palm to tease your pulse. You’re too enraptured by the way he moves to let spit drip off his tongue and onto your clit to really register what he said.

His tongue rubs against your clit, working the firm bud back and forth before letting his tongue roll over it. Each hot swipe sends a new shudder of heat and pleasure through your body. You whimper, your wet hand tangling its fingers in his short cropped hair just to feel him shake his head like a dog. 

It’s filthy the way he drags his lips over your folds, sucking and slurping at you like he’s trying to be loud. His stubble scratches at the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, prickly and sharp next to the warm wet mouth that sucks at your clit. His tongue keeps twisting over it, keeping it sensitive and tingling before he’s ducking down to fuck the slick muscle into your hole. Simon moves his tongue against the entrance to your cunt like he’s hoping to stretch out the hole with it, circling around the delicate outer edge before pressing inside, over and over until your brain feels like it’ll melt out of your ears. 

Then that wet heat is dragged up to your clit, circled and sucked, licked in broad strokes that wiggle against you just so he can hear the way your voice pitches up in pleasure.

He turns his head to wipe his mouth against your thigh, lips parting to lick a long stripe before he sinks his teeth into the meat of it and sucks. Your own lips close tight around the whimper the dull pain of it pulls from you. 

He muscles your leg up against his shoulder, his arm moving to find a comfortable angle as he hooks his thumb in your fluttering cunt. You blink at the intrusion, the thick digit may as well be two of your own fingers the way he pulls at your entrance and stretches you open. That isn’t what steals your focus from his mouth though, what tugs at you is the way his other thick fingers rub over your ass, spreading your slick and attempting to soften the hole into something pliant.

He’s grabbed your hips to roll you onto your stomach before you can raise a protest to the searching fingers, big strong hands dragging your hips up so your knees settle on the edge of the bed as he stands. It forces your face into the quilts, muffling the noise of surprise that the motion shakes out of you. Again you find protests on your lips, you hadn’t even come, and again they’re snuffed by his fingers.

Two of them push into your cunt and you moan low in your throat at the burning stretch that they provide. Your hips rock back into them, your stomach fluttering with need as more heat courses through you. His fingers crook and he thrusts them down into your cunt, hitting some throbbing tightness that makes you cry out.

Simon makes a low cooing noise in the back of his throat and his fingers stroke against your walls. You turn your head to rest your cheek against the bed, your lips pouting and your lashes fluttering as he gives you just long enough to suck in a breath before his fingers are pressing against that soft aching spot again. Your eyes roll, your breath caught tight in your throat at the thrum of pleasure that tightens like burning heat in your aching cunt.

His fingers pump faster and faster into your cunt, and you cry out, your hips wiggling and your fingers gripping at the quilt. The wet squelching noise that comes from his fingers fucking into you makes an embarrassed heat rush over your skin, and you burry your face in the blankets just to gasp out your moans. Your mouth hangs open, drool dripping off your tongue as your breath stops in your throat. The tight heat between your legs feels like it’s winding its way all the way up through your diaphragm. Your muscles are tensed so tight you think you might snap, and you let out a low moan as your breath finally shakes free. You suck in air between sobs, each punch of his fingers into your cunt pushing a new noise free of your lips.

The wet noises just get wetter.

And then something inside you snaps. Your stomach clenches tight and your cunt follows, spasming around Simon’s fingers as they pump in and out of you. Stars dance across your vision and you bite the quilts to stop from screaming. Something trickles out of you and he rewards your orgasm with a throaty chuckle.

He pulls his fingers from you and rubs soaked fingers over your ass before he’s trying to push one inside.

“Been eyein’ this ass all night.” He hums.

The firm pressure hurts the harder he presses, and you whimper out a sniffled reproach to the feeling, a soft “hurts” that you’re sure will fall on deaf ears. Simon stops, pulls his finger back and slicks it in your cunt again, the feeling of his fingers twisting against your soft spot making your eyes roll. It hurts, an overworked burn that makes you whimper for an entirely different reason.

He pulls his thick fingers from your cunt and you feel the tip of one teasing your ass again. It’s barely a pressure when his finger tries your ass again, and he lets out a slow breath as you’re filled.

“Just sunk right in,” He tells you, pumping his finger in and out, the drag of heat has your lashes fluttering, your head spinning at the deep pressure that makes your cunt clench, “Isn’t that pretty.”

His thumb catches your cunt again, tugging at the slick hole. The click of his belt and rustle of fabric clues you in to what comes next.

That doesn’t mean you’re prepared for how big his cock feels nudging at your entrance. A chill runs over your skin, goosebumps raising to meet the air where your jumper has slid down your back. The blunt head of his cock presses against your hole, and you arch your back into the feeling, desperate to find the right angle for it to slip in. 

Simon doesn’t seem as eager. He pushes into you slowly, lets you feel the way you burn and stretch around him, lets you feel every centimeter of that big cock. You feel tight, even as wet as you are, you feel like you’re squeezing the life out of him. Your cunt is hot and tingling, and your clit throbs with the need to be touched. 

You feel his hips press against your ass, and he grinds into you. Another wave of goosebumps rushes over you at the deep ache he pushes into. You squeeze your eyes shut just to stop the way they keep trying to roll back in your head.

Simon pulls back, and you can almost feel the drag of his head against your walls. He grinds the tip against the soft spot near your entrance before punching his cock back into you. You make a choked noise before your throat seems to open and a flood of moans and pleas flows from you. Each push of his cock into you pitches your voice up and you moan in desperate panting sounds.

You ache. You’ve never felt so full. He hasn’t taken his finger from your ass, instead he presses it down to try and feel his own cock stretching out your walls. You shove a hand between your legs to try and stroke your clit only to feel the stretch of your skin around his fat cock. You’re so wet that your fingers slip over your folds, uncoordinated, and you can’t get a good angle. You open your mouth but can’t find the words to ask for what you need.

One of his thrusts pushes you up the bed and your hand moves immediately to push against the wall with a ‘thump.’ 

“Simon,” You whine, “Simon.”

His free hand pets up your spine, bunching your jumper up under your armpits to unhook your bra, before finding its way to your hair. He curls his fingers and finds a tight grip near your scalp. The bite of pain makes you want to push back into him. The deep pressure, the slight sting, from your ass makes your body stutter, your brain crashing into itself.

Oh God.

“Not a thought in that pretty little ‘ead is there?” He asks, the fingers gripping your hair tight pull your head back, you moan your pleasure for him as he gives a hard thrust into you, your bleary eyes opened just enough to focus on the white wall. “Course not,” Simon grunts, a huff of laughter edging his voice, “Wouldn't've responded to my ad if there was.” 

You reach back to claw at his thigh and find it still, painfully, clothed. A burst of humiliation shoots through you at the thought that Simon hasn’t even bothered to get undressed. 

“Stupid thing, really could’ve just grabbed ya off the street.” He mumbles, there’s a touch of fondness to his voice, a smile that doesn’t feel appropriate for the way he fucks into you. Like he’s trying to teach you a lesson.

The only thing you’re learning is that Simon’s cock hits something deep and needy inside of you. The finger in your ass starts to pull out and you scream. Simon groans as you tighten around him, your cunt desperate to keep his cock inside. You’re buzzing with your orgasm, settled right at the edge with nothing to push you over the edge. There’s too much stimulation. His cock pistoning into you and his finger starting to tug at your ass. You’re still sore from his fingers but you can’t stop yourself from clenching tight around him.

“Mad fer it,” Simon chuckles, “tell me what ya need bird.”

“Clit- clit,” You stutter out, still barely able to keep the words straight in your head. 

“Louder love,” He teases, “don’t think I heard ya.”

“Please,” You sob, your moans still tearing from your chest on each thrust, “touch my clit.”

He drops your head back down onto the bed, and you muffle your noise with the quilt clenched between your teeth. His finger pulls from your ass and you scream your pleasure into the bed. It’s so hot, your ass burning with something that isn’t entirely painful. It just makes your clit pulse harder. 

Simon’s fingers find their way between your legs and he pinches your clit between them. One roll of the tight bud between them has your legs shaking. The second has tears brimming at your lash line and your mouth hanging open as you flutter and drip on Simon’s cock. You tense and release around him, your orgasm crashing into you like a train. Waves of it rush through you, shaking your muscles loose until you’re laid like a doll against the bed. Your skin is burning and you ache,

And Simon keeps fucking you.

The smack of his hips against yours fills the room, his breath heavy and his fingers now tight on your waist. You push back into his thrusts and it makes stars dance across your vision. That deep aching part of you makes everything draw tight again. 

Simon’s thrusts grow quicker, rougher, his fingers grip you so tight it hurts. You scream for him again, his hard thrusts pushing you to the edge a third time. The blistering heat of his come hits your overworked cunt and you moan. 

“Too much,” You whine. Everything is sore when he pulls out. You don’t think you can move.

Your knees slip off the edge of the bed and you just lay there.

Simon rolls you back onto your back, and manhandles you into laying on the bed properly. 

You sit up just enough to tug your jumper off and toss your bra to the floor with the rest of your clothes. Simon ditches his shirt and you sleepily take in the cut musculature of his chest as he wanders to turn off the light.

You pass out before he ever gets his pants off.

*

Your parents have already gathered the presents from last night by the front door when you wander downstairs in the morning. Your father doesn’t look at you, but your mother positively glowers. You try not to think about how loud you’d been last night.

Simon’s had his hands on you since you woke up. His fingers splay wide on the small of your back, as your parents attempt to rush you out the door. 

You’re settled in Simon’s car, driving down the street when you finally let the laughter take over. You giggle and snort, pressing your fingers against your mouth to try and stem the flow of them. But really, what can you do? Despite being forced to spend the night putting a dent in your plans it’s worked out perfectly. Your parents won’t be asking about you getting a boyfriend any time soon.

If you’re lucky your mom will never ask you about your relationship status again, even when you “break up” with Simon.

You’re still giggling, glowing with happiness at a successfully executed plan, when you try to pull the ring off your finger.

Something sharp digs into your skin and you yelp in pain. 

“What the fuck?” You question, whimpering when you pull harder and it only sends the sharp bit further into your skin. You raise your hand to look at the ring, and find a sharp tooth just under the diamond, clearly a feature not a bug. Still you glance at Simon. “I think this ring is defective,” You tell him, “It keeps stabbing me.”

Simon hums, turning right down a street. 

“Then stop tryin’ ta take it off.” He advises. You twist the ring around your finger, trying to find  a way to work it off.

“I can’t get it off,” You grunt in annoyance.

“Not suppose ta,” Simon tells you plainly, taking another turn, “That’s how bein’ engaged works.”

Something squirms in your stomach.

“We’re not engaged.” You remind him.

“Wearing my ring,” He reminds you, like he’s explaining it to a child, “said ‘yes’ to my proposal-” A smile splits his face, predatory in a way that makes you press your legs together, “-probably still buzzin’ for my cock too. Sounds engaged to me.”

You balk, your mouth hung open as you gape at him. Is he insane?

Simon doesn’t even look at you, just reaches to the side and presses against the underside of your chin with gentle, firm fingers, closing your mouth. Then he leans past you to open the glove compartment and tug a crumple of papers out onto your lap.

“If ya get bored you can look over those.” He tells you, flicking on his signal to hop on the highway.

You glance down at the mess of papers settled on your thighs, a mass of text and fine print that your eyes can’t focus on because they’re so shaken by the two poised at the top:

“Marriage License.”

divider by @/saradika-graphics

[guttednights]

𝔗𝔴𝔬 𝔦𝔫 𝔬𝔫𝔢

Warnings: threesome, mdni, overall smut with johnny and simon (and fluff)

You had no idea when you started dating Simon that Johnny was an extra bonus. You and Simon first met when you moved to the 141 as a recruit. At first, Simon avoided you at all costs, why? because he thought you were pretty and he's a bit intimidated by you. but after some time (and Johnny pushing and threatening him) he finally spoke to you. it may have not been anything major just a simple acknowledgment of you, then a "hi" and then ACTUAL conversations with you. Eventually, he asked to get a coffee and that's it. you guys have been together for a year now. You always knew about Johnny and Simon being complete besties, I mean who couldn't honestly. they were always giggling like school girls around the base, Johnnys usually fucking around and Simon yelling at him to stop like he's his dad or something. It came as a bit of a surprise when Simon asked to come over while you guys were at home, and Johnny showed up with him. you opened the door to 2 big men with big smiles on their faces. You weren't mad of course, you welcomed them in. "figured you wouldn't mind if soap joined us ya?" and you agreed, you don't mind, now you just have to cook an extra stake. And that's kind of where it started. after a few months of that Simon moved in, meaning he left Johnny and his apartment. johnny was happy for you guys but sad because he felt lonely :(. One day Simon asked if Johnny could move in. Since you have 2 extra bedrooms you figured why not. And sure enough, a month later Johnny was living in your house (not rent-free because living is expensive). You had NO idea what Johnny moving in had in store for you. Honestly, at first, it started off with tame things, you Johnny, and Simon cuddling in bed watching movies.

Now you're being trusted from behind by Simon's fat cock, while Johnny slowly thrusts in your mouth admiring your teary eyes, and swollen lips. Simon's fingers are practically digging into your side knowing you're gonna be bruised tomorrow while Johnny is being soft and gentle. Simons has always been that way tho. As your sweet moans fill the air in your bedroom, Simon pulls out flipping you around like you weigh nothing. "be gentle with my sweet girl Johnny", Simon says to Johnny as he lines his girth up with your hole. now this whole time Johnny has been the most gentle man ever, but the second that first thrust happens it's over for you. He's not going fast, just deep every single thrust his whole length is devoured by you. He watches that white ring of cream form at the bottom of his length as he thrusts deep and slow. and for Simon? his cocks in your mouth as he deep throating you, gently playing with your sensitive clit while Johnny tears you apart :(. Simons has always been aggressive during sex and you love it. not long after Johnnys' deep thrusts continue into your swollen cunt you're coming on him, and Johnny is not stopping for anything, "gonna come for me ye? mhh ya that's a good girl", and while you're busy being fucked in your throat and cunt, simons thrusts in your mouth become faster and deeper, his grunting and breathing increase "that's my sweet girl" "taking me in your throat like this". soon enough his warm come is making its way down your throat as your teary eyes stare up at him, he pulls out as his cock softens and kisses you looking at you. "that's my sweet girl". johnnys thrust getting faster and deeper if possible, "Simon?" "Ya?" "Do you come insid- inside?" "Ya, can come inside Johnny." Quickly johnnys hand goes from holding your leg to his chest to your clit rubbing fastly as hes close to coming. his fast thrusts soon stop as he fills you up with his come. his moans are soft as he pulls out and crashes down on the empty space next to you.

your quickly pulled over to Simon's chest as he kisses your head. "my sweet princess" he whispers. "let's get ye cleaned up ya?' Johnny says kissing your shoulder standing up and starting the shower. While Simon is helping you shower (cause you can't walk) and Johnny getting dressed, Simon can't help but say something. "Johhny you were not gentle with my sweet girl." "msorry LT" Johnny knows he's only just kidding as he walks out of the bathroom. For you on the other hand? Tired. of course Simon gives you the best aftercare as Johnny gets you guys food.

now of course this is a often occurrence, either you Simon, and Johnny, or just Johnny, or just Simon. but you can't complain, your two favorite boys giving you the best sex of your life, why would you complain?

side notes: I've never written smut before so I hope this is okay, I think it's good enough to post but I will try harder to make it seem more coherent next time. Also juggling the idea of Simon and johnny, I think Simon would definitely come inside you first but I'm too lazy to rewrite :3.

LMK what else you guys would like to read i need ideas fs.

[missmielyhoran]

Little Helpers

Harry needs a bit of help, and who's better than his two little gremlins...

90sRockstar!Harry × Reader

A/N- Happens wayyyyyyy long in the future, like at least 10 years after they meet. Harry and reader are in their mid 30s

Only Angel Masterlist // Masterlist

*****

It was your birthday.

And Harry was struggling.

You've been out in New York for last week or so for work while he has been staying home with kids.

To say they're pain in the ass is an understatement, but he made his bed (or hot tub), so he had to lay in it.

Harry was the "fun" parent, to say the least, cause he can't say no, and those gremlins even tho they're only four years old are way too good at getting things their way.

Meanwhile, you knew how to shut down something you knew they didn't need. Like the large Nerf gun, Harry got them in secret and then had to listen to you yell at him while those two giggled from the stairs in timeout.

But that wasn't the problem right now.

The problem was that the house was mess, the kitchen was mess, it was your birthday and he doesn't know how to cook, clean all at the same time while taking care of kids who are already running around in backyard.

It was times like these he was amazed by how his mother, and even you did everything so efficiently. Never once did he saw a thing out of place when you stayed with kids, and he had to go out.

(Maybe cause you made the kids clean up after themselves while he sees one look of their puppy eyes and melts)

He took a deep breath in and called for the kids, "Jack! Soph! come back inside" He yelled, which caught the twins' attention. Their little head snapped towards him, and soon enough, they were running in giggling still in their pjs.

Harry shook his head and walked back inside and saw them talking to themselves. They were literally each others best friends, always attached to the hip, partners in crime, and he hoped they're like this when they grow up.

"Kids, kids and kids!" He announced dramatically. Twins giggled again, "There is only two of us, dada. Why are you saying kids three times?" They looked at each other and laughed again at Harry's trying to be mad face.

"Hey smartasses listen to me." He flicked their head lightly, "It's your maa's birthday today"

The twins' eyes went wide, and then Soph jumped, screaming "birthday" making Harry laugh. "That means we will get cake?" Jack asked his dad.

"You will if you help me" Harry shrugged, "Whoever helps me out the most will get the bigger piece!" Harry said.

Twins looked at each other again and then their dad and nodded their head quickly, "I will help you" Jack said, "Me too" Soph said in tow.

"Well then, let's start with this room. Pick up all your toys and everything else and put them where they should be." He said, walking towards the kitchen sink. It was an open plan, so he could still see the kids while cleaning up the kitchen.

He looked at the clock, and it was still 4 hours left to your arrival. He could do it.

He hopes he can do it.

*****

Harry was surprised and amused when he looked up and saw two heaving toddlers sitting on the ground.

"Well done babies, you did such a great job" He said, squatting down to their level and kissing both of their heads.

"We know" They said together. Harry laughed at that cause even if the kids looked like him, their personality was yours. Sassy, witty and smart for their age.

"We put everything in different boxes so you could see who did more work, and my box is the most filled" Jackson said cockily and Soph rolled her eyes.

"I'm just going to steal more from dad's plate" she said without any care as much as Harry would like to think otherwise it was true. He lost his right to have his own food when he become father and he's okay with it (to certain level). Harry still very much amused with their banter over cake slice, goes to the kitchen, and fetches both of them their water bottles along with a bowl of fruits.

"Why don't you two drink some water and eat all those fruits and then come help me bake the cake?" Harry asked them immediately, getting nods as an answer from hungry babies.

He took out all the ingredients while the kids ate and arranged them, so it was easier for kids to "help" him.

Soon enough, they were all done with their snacks and were standing on the large wooden stool beside Harry, watching him make the cake. Both of them have large chefs hat on and custom matching aprons Harry got for all of them for when they would cook together on Sunday mornings.

He was in the middle of cracking egg when Sophie started to fuss, "Dada I want to do it too!" She said, pouting.

Harry brought the bowl in front of her and stood behind her holding her hand, which had egg in it, and then cracked it open and put it in the bowl. Sophie giggled, finding amusement in cracking eggs, which made Jack feel left out so Harry did the same with him too.

The kids helped him as much as they could, with bringing him stuff, and finally, the cake was in oven.

Jack and Soph sat in front of the oven watching the cake like hawk cause in their words, "we want it to be perfect like maa makes it". Harry cleaned the rest of the kitchen.

"C'mon babies bath time." He announced which much to kids displeasure meant they had to move away from the oven. Harry literally had to drag them upstairs with Soph in his left arm and Jack in right.

"You two are getting heavy for me to pick you up and roam around" he said, groaning at the feeling of back ache rising.

"No, you're just getting old, dada." The twins laughed. Harry rolled his eyes at them and flicked their heads.

"In the bath. Your maa will have my head if you two are dirty" He said, starting the warm bath of them.

*****

There have been times Harry felt proud of himself, and right now, as he watches the clean house, clean kids, and a not burned cake, he feels proud of himself.

Kids were watching TV in the living room when they heard the car pull up in the driveway, and everyone was set on their mission.

Harry quickly lit up all the candles. Meanwhile, kids stood in the position near the door with paper confetti in their hands to throw at you.

Meanwhile, you feel exhausted as you get out of the car. The fashion week of this year was hectic. You were so busy you didn't even remember it was your birthday until you opened he door.

Colorful confetti flew on your face as you heard "happy birthday" in unison. Your kids stood near the door with the biggest smile on their faces with your husband behind them with cake in his hand.

"Omg, thank you so much my little munchkin" you said, sitting down on your knees and pulling twins into tight hugs. All exhaustion and stress were lost as you saw your favorite people.

"Hey, I'm also here." You heard Harry whine, making three of you laugh.

"C'mon maa, we want cake!" Jack said, first making you laugh. You kissed both of their cheeks and stood up, walking towards your husband.

You pecked his lips and smiled, "Thank you, baby." you said with a warm smile matching his. "My absolute pleasure angel" He said, kissing you again.

"Those gremlins helped me, or I was ready to have a panic attack this morning," he said, chuckling.

You brought the cake to the kitchen, Harry stood beside you his arms around your waist, and kids stood on the stool on your other side.

"Maa make a wish!" Soph said. You nodded and wished for your family to stay just like this forever and blew the candles. Jack and Soph clapped while Harry leaned down and kissed your cheeks.

Cake slices were cut and put in plate for all four of you and as you and Harry stood in the kitchen with your head on his shoulder watching your kids banter over who's slice is bigger you never felt more content.

This is all you ever wanted.

*****

I think they're my favorite couple after Harry and Autumn.

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Tell me if you liked this or just talk to me cause trust me I love it, here♡

[puppietooth]

let me preface this by saying i will love and adore and cherish s3 no matter happens. however, i will say — the one thing i want to see is carmy going out of his way to get back on sydney’s good side.

i’m talking begging for forgiveness, grovelling at her feet, bending over backwards for her.

imagine:

carmy gets out of that walk-in, sees the queasy look on her face, and is already drafting that notes app apology in his head. he tells her he’s sorry and that he fucked up and she tells him they managed to pull everything off without him but she cannot with his bullshit right now.

that hits him like a punch to the gut and, well, he gets it cause it’s definitely deserved.

but as the weeks go on, carmy tries to talk to her she only responds in shrugs, nods, and yes chefs. sydney goes home straight after service, after she helps with clean up, does not linger and talk in the office with him like they did before. carmy tries joking with her and she rolls her eyes more often than not. he asks her if she wants to work on the menu with him and she says no and he gets the feeling that she doesn’t even want to be alone with him anymore.

and that’s when he realizes — fuck. she’s so mad at him.

my girl is mad at me i want to die.

so? what else is carmy supposed to do but the most?

sydney comes in one morning and tells tina she was running late so she couldn’t stop by her favourite spot to get her morning latte. carmy overhears this and takes it upon himself to run to that spot, ten blocks over, to get her that latte. and when he gets back, sweetly and breathless, he gives it to her only to find out it’s the completely wrong order. but syd smiles, just a little, says a small thanks.

during family, he casually hints at the fact that he’s seeing a therapist now — says sorry chef i have therapy saturday afternoon when marcus asks if anyone would be down to go to the farmers market with him. because he needs her to know that he’s trying to get better. for himself, yes, but also for her.

his notifications are on and his phone is never on silent anymore — carmy vows to never miss a text or a call from her ever again.

carmy starts checking in with her about everything. when the walls need to be painted again he tells her, asks sydney if she’s okay with changing the floral arrangements but the bar, lets her know he’s ordering new aprons for the line cooks, runs tweets by her before posting them to the bear’s twitter account. and it gets to the point where syd has to tell him to chill — that she appreciates him not wanting to keep her in the dark, but some things just don’t need her approval. pats him on the shoulder and tells him it’s his restaurant, too.

it might come off as a bit showy but he tells her great work today, chef sydney after every service — because she is doing great work.

when sydney’s finally moving out of her dad’s place carmy is there, bright and early, moving her boxes into his car, trying to avoid the subtle stink eye her dad is giving him. again, deserved. he drives her out to her new place, helps her set everything up and lingers when she asks him if he wants coffee.

carmy shows up for her, everytime. he sets his own priorities aside, swaps them out for hers. sydney says jump and he asks how high?

it all comes to head on her birthday. before service he goes up to her and gives her a present — a scarf, fabric pink and decorated with prints of various different flowers. it’s soft and silky and he saw it on a mannequin in a window front while he was downtown a couple of weeks ago, immediately thought of her. she tells him it’s lovely and beautiful and she’ll wear it all the time but that he really didn’t have to — that he doesn’t have to keep trying to win her over, that she isn’t mad at him anymore, that she hasn’t been mad for a few weeks now, that she can see he’s trying.

then, sydney hugs him, strong and gentle at the same time, tells him — i see you, carmy.

whatever is supposed to happen after that does not happen because fak starts yelling about an exploding toilet from the room over so sydney scoffs and says she’ll go take care of it.

and it’s at that exact moment that carmy becomes aware of what he hasn’t been aware of but that has been there, right in front of him this whole time.

holy shit.

he likes sydney.

he likes her a lot.

[harlowtales]

Jack has to deal with a cruel twist of fate 🤵👰🏻‍♀️💍🤰🏻

18 + ONLY - Adult Content

“Yo my girl is coming over tonight behave yourself” Clay said to his brother

“Couldn’t care less bro” Jack said as he checked his messages totally preoccupied as they were sitting on the couch together watching the game.

“Ok boys she’s going to be here soon. Clay set the table, Jack just behave yourself” their mom said shaking a spatula at Jack as she finished cooking

“Whys everyone saying that?” Jack said in fake bewilderment. He knew damn well why. He would get to cracking jokes and pouring on charm or just being goofy and the girls would fall for him leaving Clay with a broken heart.

Clay had come into his own. He had matured and grew tall and handsome and was a super producer living on his own. The family was gathering for Labour Day long weekend dinner and Clay was introducing his mystery woman to the family.

“Must be serious bro. I’m happy for you.” Jack said sincerely. He decided he wasn’t going to do anything to upset his brother. He had matured too and he had nothing to prove by stealing yet another girl. Jack made a mental note to not play around because he wanted to see if this girl was trying to date Clay to get near him.

Just then the doorbell rang but it was his grandparents. Then it rang again and it was his dad coming back from a run to the liquor store for the festivities. Then it rang again and again filling the house with aunts and uncles and cousins. No girlfriend. Clay started nervously checking his phone. Tonight he was going to propose in front of the whole family. His family was just meeting her but Clay kept her under wraps for almost a year.

Jack would tease him about his imaginary girlfriend but Clay wanted to make sure she was with him for the right reasons. Tonight be was making it official and they were basically eloping. He didn’t want the whole big fuss. His family was big and could get to be a lot, and him and his girl were low key. They always talked about a ceremony at City Hall, small dinner party and quick honeymoon in Jamaica. He was busy finishing up his brother’s album.

As everyone was getting hungry waiting for their new guest they decided to start eating. Jack was watching his brother out the corner of his eye concerned as he was frantically texting her back and forth. He vowed to keep quiet so he said nothing. Finally the doorbell rang. It was Stefanie. Clay jumped up to let her in and she was a mess!

Stefanie had caught a flat tire on the way over. She insisted on driving over herself because she was hyper vigilant about not looking like a gold digger or Clay spoiling her. She had an old Acura that worked on a good day but refused Clay buying her a new car. She knew how to change a tire but it had also rained a bit ruining her look. She didn’t want to look like a “baddie” so she had on jeans, a tank top with a light crisp white shirt and sandals with a slight heel.

Her hair was in a ponytail with light makeup. Perfect for a family Labour Day affair. That is until she had to get dirty. She had hazel green eyes being mixed Puerto Rican and beautiful olive skin with one dimple and a big smile. She also had a great sense of humour and was studying at a small University in Ohio majoring in international law. She told Clay she was having “car trouble” knowing full well Clay would rush over to where she was to help.

“Baby!” Clay exclaimed “What happened to you?” He whisked her in the house and Maggie their mom grabbed her a towel.

“Come with me Stefanie I’m going to clean you up you poor thing!” Maggie and her sister fussed bringing her upstairs.

Jack hadn’t yet got a good look at her. He had to go stand a bit away as he got a business call. When he returned he was confused. “Didn’t your girl walk in?” He asked Clay looking around.

“Yes and she’s a mess! Mom’s cleaning her up and giving her a change of clothes.” Clay explained. He was mad because Stefanie was always making something worse by not calling for help. It wasn’t the way he hoped dinner would go tonight.

When they came back down from upstairs Stefanie was all clean and freshened up with a pair of Maggie’s tights and a hoodie. Perfectly comfortable while her clothes were cleaned and dried. “Thank you so much everyone! What a way to meet you all. Geezus that was a heck of a way to kick this off. Hi, I’m Stefanie with an “f”” she beamed at all of them. Clearly this girl was different. She was outgoing and confidently shook everyone’s hand.

Then she got to Jack and paused “I guess saying hey what’s poppin? will get me eating all the coleslaw” she chuckled making reference to the times Jack has said in his songs he hates coleslaw. She had a goofy little laugh and was so jovial Jack chuckled too immediately impressed but keeping joking around to a bare minimum so nobody could accuse him of flirting.

“So Stefanie with an “f” please sit. You must be starving.” Jack’s dad said “eat up because we’re about to play some games.”

“Ooh! I love games! What kind of games?” She asked enthusiastically her eyes brightening as she dished out her food.

“Well I don’t mean to brag but trivia games are kind of my thing.” Jack’s dad Brian said leaning back confidently in his chair satisfied from the big dinner he ate.

“Sounds awesome Mr.Harlow.” She said sweetly with impeccable manners

Jack leaned over and whispered in his uncle Ben’s ear “This has to be a paid actor. No way Clay bagged this dime.” Clay shot Jack a look from across the table to which Jack responded with a look of innocence.

After dinner they all settled in for the big game. Board game that is. It was a serious thing in their house and nobody took loosing well. Clay was feeling the velvet of the small ring box in his pocket waiting for the right moment. Everyone seemed to be absolutely in love with Stefanie. Everyone except Jack. He had been unusually quiet this whole time.

“Ok get your partner and let’s get started with the first round.” Jack’s grandpa ordered

Clay and Stefanie snuggled into one another on the floor with a blanket ready to play. Clay was sure they would win. Stefanie was his secret weapon.

“First question for the lightning round.” Grandpa said “What Chinese state has the Great Wall of China? Everyone was silent.

“Can I Google this?” Cousin Ben said as arguably the smartest person in the room

“OMG!” Stefanie finally exclaimed jumping up “I know this one! It’s a trick question!”

“Baby calm down” Clay said laughing pulling her back down. They were so cute together. Jack watched their interaction to see if it was real. Stefanie would have been a dream girl for him. How did Clay land her? Where did they meet? Did she have a sister? But he vowed to behave and behave he did.

“China has provinces not states so any answer would be wrong. Am I right?” She asked the room excitedly

“Um how did you know that?” Jack’s dad asked her in awe.

“Stef’s an international law major.” Clay said slyly as he proudly put his arm around her as she sat back down

“Unfair!” Jack’s cousin Sean said “I’m not playing. This is rigged.”

“Ok everyone that was beginners luck. Next question!” Grandpa announced loving being the host of these shenanigans.

“What is the law of energy?” He said dramatically in a hushed tone.

The room went quiet. Clay squeezed Stefanie’s hand to stop her from answering. Eventually one of Jack’a cousins said “Give it to us Stef. We know you know.”

“Um ok and this is just a guess. The law of energy is energy is never lost just transferred.” She said adorably squeezing her eyes shut and crossing her fingers to which Jack looked away.

“Correct.” Grandpa said as the ringmaster

“I’m tapping out they’re going to win.” Jack’s uncle said walking away in a huff.

“Oh no I’m sorry everyone how about this next round I won’t answer. Zippy lippy.” Stefanie said with a giggle. Jack couldn’t take it anymore.

“Bro.” He gestured to Clay “Can you help me grab snacks in the kitchen?”

“Sure” Clay said happy his girl was making such a great impression.

“Who is this girl?” Jack said immediately as soon as they were out of earshot

“What the fuck bro, what’s up your ass? You don’t like Stef?” Clay said annoyed

“No. She’s great. Almost too great. How did you guys meet?” Jack asked as he grabbed some chips and dip

“I played a little gig on her campus and as you can tell she’s not shy. We hit it off and went for drinks after and that was it I was hooked.” Clay said lovingly looking over at Stefanie biting her tongue to not further upset his family.

“She got a sister?” Jack pressed Clay

“No and even if she did I wouldn’t let you near her.” Clay said defensively

“I’m not an asshole bro” Jack defended himself

“No you’re just…you.” Clay said and Jack knew what he meant. Jack had stolen too many of his girls only to have them crying to Clay later how Jack just stopped showing interest.

“Stef’s the real deal. Look what I got her.” Clay said taking the ring box out of his pocket and cracking it open for Jack to see. It was a cute little diamond just like Stefanie. For some reason emotions were coming up for Jack he couldn’t make sense of.

“That’s great bro just be careful.” Jack cautioned as they returned to the gathering. His head started pounding.

Jack pretended to have to leave early after getting a phone call. He left with warm goodbyes and a salute to his brother who was nose to nose with Stefanie. Clay decided to take Stefanie on a drive around his neighborhood and as he shared his childhood memories he popped the question in private. They called Jack right away on FaceTime. Stefanie was beaming and holding up her ring for Jack to see. Will you be my best man at City Hall tomorrow bro? Clay asked.

Jack was in shock. “Of course I’ll clear my calendar. Congratulations you guys.” He said slightly deflated. He couldn’t shake this cloud that had settled above his head and he tossed a d turned all night. In the morning he awoke groggy to pups licking his face.

“What’s the fucking rush?” He said to himself as he fixed his breakfast “Whys he getting married so fast?” But he had agreed to be his brother’s best man so he picked out a nice suit as it was too short notice to buy a gift so he had his assistant run out and get a card and a wad of cash for the happy couple.

Jack arrived to find his parents beaming and a relative of Stefanie’s. Her parents were in Puerto Rico and could not make it. “Hello brother!” Stefanie said to Jack flinging her arms around him already tearing up.

“Baby watch your makeup.” Clay said lovingly dabbing under her eyes. To see Clay like this shook Jack to his core. Urban was serious with someone, even his other buddies were all getting booed up. It wasn’t as regular for them to all be hanging out in their free time. Jack relied on his day ones and he was feeling just plain lonely. When would he meet someone like Stefanie? How was that even possible with his lifestyle?

The club girls he was having threesomes with were not fulfilling anymore. Girls were getting left on read as he had started to question his life. Fans were upset because he had been so M.I.A. Feeling like he was losing his brother to a fantastic girl he felt he couldn’t compete with was causing him an inner struggle to be happy for them. Plus if he was being honest… he was attracted to Stefanie. Her goofiness, her giggle, her smarts, her eyes, her boldness, the way she was helping his mom do the dishes when he left last night… and that one dimple, had intrusively entered Jack’s mind all night as he tried to sleep. His brother one upped him and got THE girl.

Jack blushed shyly as Stefanie shot him a grin and a goofy shot gun for the shot gun wedding happening with his brother. She had her natural curls flowing with little babies breath flowers strategically placed in a half-up do and a simple white summer dress she ran out bought that morning that delicately graced her slim frame. She looked like an angel. As they recited their vows Jack’s stomach began to tighten up.

“Hunny are you ok?” His mom asked as Jack shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

“I’m fine. I think that macaroni pie last night didn’t agree with me.” Jack explained it away

“That’s because you’re always eating all that healthy shit.” His dad leaned over and whispered

“Thanks dad appreciate it.” Jack said rolling his eyes. He couldn’t wait for this to be over.

As the happy couple jumped into Stefanie’s old Acura and drove off dragging rattling cans and a “Just Married” sign headed to the airport for their mini-honeymoon, Jack made an excuse and quickly bolted. He turned the key to his condo excitedly greeted by pups and nuzzled his whole face in her soft curly fur falling onto the couch in exhaustion. He picked up his pad and started to write a song about a girl he wished was his but didn’t deserve.

The weeks went by and as Clay returned tanned from the Jamaican sun him and Jack got back to work on the album. Jack braced himself for Clay talking his ear off about his new wife but Clay just kept his head down working hard to get everything perfect.

“You know you can talk about her. I’m ok with it.” Jack said late one night with his brother in the studio.

“Stef?” Clay said as he looked up from the computer screen “Aww you know Stef bro she’s back at school and here on weekends. Ain’t much to say we just us. With Stef everything is just natural. When she’s done her degree she’ll move here and that’s pretty much it.”

“What about kids?” Jack asked as he tore open the package of a Nature Valley Bar.

“I would love that when it’s the right time. Stef has dreams of working at the UN.” Clay said proudly

“So why the rush in getting married?” Jack asked

Clay squirmed and hesitated to answer. Jack looked directly at him and waited for a response.

“Uh, no reason.” Clay said “I mean if you know the one is the one…why wait?”

“I guess so.” Jack said suspiciously

“Ok you want the truth?” Clay said looking at Jack now

“That’d be nice for a change.” Jack said sarcastically

“I didn’t let anyone get to know her…well you, until I was about to ask her to marry me so it didn’t give you time to do what you do best stealing my girlfriends.” Clay finally said with a hostile tone

“I fucking knew it.” Jack said getting up and pacing “I knew something was different about you this past year.”

“Yeah different like I wised up. Stefanie is totally your type. I had to work smarter not harder bro.” Clay said tapping his temple indicating his intelligence.

“Playing chess not checkers I see.” Jack said sitting back down

“I’m happy for you bro honestly. No funny shit.” Jack said

“Thank you bro” Clay replied “Now let’s get this hook done I have to call Stef. I miss her already.”

Jack caught the far off look in Clay’s eyes and decided he better get on board and get to know Stefanie. If she hurt Clay it was game over. Their family was worth a small fortune and had to be careful who they let in.

Stefanie had her nose in a book chilling with her cat when she was jolted out of her story by her phone pinging. It was a text from Jack. How he even had her number she didn’t know. “Look out the window.” She read aloud and looked to see Jack Harlow standing there waving at her. Stefanie froze. Clay had warned her about Jack stealing his girlfriends. “Jack?” She called down to him. “What are you doing here?”

“You gone let me up?” Jack said in his smooth drawl back up to her. Stefanie ran down to let him in. It was Jack Harlow after all.

“Nice little place.” He said as he entered her apartment looking around. He had his puppy with him who immediately her cat didn’t like.

“Let me put Ms.Pumpernickel in my bedroom.” She said

“Of course her cat has such a cute name.” Jack said in his head. He drove to Ohio to hang out with her without telling Clay because Clay would have stopped him. He fully planned on telling Stefanie to keep his visit a secret.

“Listen Stef, I wasn’t here ok?” Jack said to her as she returned to the living room

“Of course you weren’t.” She agreed not sure where this was going

“Look, our family is kind of a thing.” He started explaining

“Yeah just sort of.” Stefanie said sarcastically, fully aware of her new status as a Harlow

“I needed to get to know you without Clay around.” Jack said raising the hairs on Stefanie’s neck.

“Jack I don’t do well with ambiguity. What’s all this for?” Stefanie asked throwing Jack off with her change in demeanour. Had Clay warned her about him?

“Can we just talk?” Jack asked so sincerely Stefanie’s walls came down a bit.

“Sure. I’m sorry I don’t mean to be rude.” She apologized “Can I offer you a drink?”

“Water please.” Jack said as he sat on the couch

Stefanie started to sweat. She never told Clay she had a crush on Jack for years. She didn’t just happen to know song lyrics. She deeply loved Clay as she had heard Jack was a major player, and now alone with him she could see he didn’t have to try very hard.

“Thanks” he said as she nervously watched him drink it down and wipe his mouth

“So shoot ask me anything.” Stefanie said wanting to get to the point

“What movies do you like?” Jack asked her throwing her off

“Um well I like science fiction mostly.” She said to no surprise to Jack as she seemed a bit nerdy which he found irresistible

“Stef I didn’t drive here to ask you what movies you like. As you know our family has some money.” Jack said cautiously

“I’m aware and I don’t want it. I’m going to work for the UN done day.” She said so adorably Jack had to regroup in his mind

“Ok” he breathed “I had to hear it from you. I don’t want anyone taking Clay for a ride.”

“Relax Jack. Really. I’m not a gold digger. Like at all.” Stefanie said patting him on the leg to which a sensation traveled up his body.

“Stef?” He asked “How did you know a deep cut like the coleslaw line?”

“Um no reason I mean who hasn’t heard Dark Knight?” She said off handedly

“A lot of people.” Jack said leaning back on the couch making himself more comfortable

“Look I like the music salute.” She said abruptly

“Is that all you like?” Jack asked trying to dig deeper

Stefanie blushed and felt warm. “Cute dog!” She blurted out “What breed is she?”

“Stefanie. Answer the question.” Jack insisted

“Every girl has liked you it’s not a big deal.” She said tossing her hair as if to toss away his accusations of what he had felt. At dinner at his parents, Jack caught a glimpse of Stefanie looking at him as he chatted with family at a distance. He said nothing to Clay but it bothered him.

“Every girl likes me but I don’t like every girl.” Jack said lowering his tone making Stefanie uncomfortable

“I’m married to your brother Jack.” She asserted

“I know that. I’m sorry I should go. As a matter of fact it was wrong for me to come here. I felt something and I thought you felt something and wanted to make sure so I know how to play this whole thing. I can’t say it’s easy watching Clay with you.” He couldn’t believe he just said the quiet part out loud.

“Jack you should go.” Stefanie said embarrassed “I shouldn’t be having this conversation with you alone like this. I love your brother.”

“Sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself not me.” Jack said as he left.

Stefanie closed the door behind him double checking through the peak hole to make sure he was leaving. She felt dizzy and went to lay down with her cat patiently waiting for her to come and snuggle. It took Stefanie days to shake Jack’s presence it was powerful. At dinner she tried not to let on she was struck by how gorgeous Jack was in person. Was it ok to crush on your husband’s brother just a wee bit in your mind?

Her phone pinged one day as she was painting and listening to classical music making her jump. It was Jack. “Before I go do you want to come by my hotel for dinner? Sorry I have to eat privately as it causes less of a stir. No funny stuff.”

Against her better judgment she texted back “Sure.” Wondering what he was still doing in Ohio.

Stefanie decided to look casual so as not to give Jack the wrong impression not realizing he found that even more sexy. She showed up in baggy jeans and an off the shoulder button up shirt with her hair in a bun and just one long curl hanging down with her tortoise shell rimmed glasses on. Jack gulped when he saw her. “Come on in” he said feeling a bit weak. “Wine?” He said holding up a nice selection for her.

“Please.” She replied as she kicked off her shoes. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all. In fact dinner was lovely. She got to know Jack better as they talked well into the night about so many different things. She realized some of Jack’s true feelings about politics and music, but especially being famous and how hard it was. “I better get going.” She yawned. Jack this was awesome. I think we got off on the wrong foot”

“Stefanie stay.” Jack said putting his hand on hers. “He doesn’t know I’m here.”

“Jack what??” She said in disbelief but not moving her hand away

“Just hear me out. We get this whatever this is that we know is there out of our system and that’s it.” He suggested breathing hard his heart pounding. He had to have her just one time.

“Jack no” she said getting up to leave. He stopped her and kissed her gently pulling her in close and pressing into her. She pulled away and grabbed her shoes not even stopping to put them on, but he blocked the door.

“Tell me you feel nothing and I’ll move.” He said desperately savouring the taste of her on his lips.

“Jack please let me go we can’t do this to your brother.” She pleaded

“You didn’t tell me you feel nothing for me.” He said not moving from in front the door

“I have a silly school girl crush.” She admitted “Now let me go. You really want to ruin your whole relationship with your brother? Tear your whole family apart?”

“No I don’t you’re right.” He said slumping down “Stefanie I can’t get you off my mind.”

“I can’t get you off my mind but that’s not helping anything! Jack I have to go. Call me before you leave tomorrow but tonight…I can’t stay here and this never happened.” She helped him up and he walked her out of the hotel and flagged down a taxi to take her home.

As Stefanie opened the door to her apartment she noticed a light was on that she remembered turning off. She felt a presence, grabbed a candle stick, and tipi toed around. She went to her room to find Clay fast asleep. He had come to visit and surprise her. She quietly washed Jack off of her and shampooed him out her mind.

Once in her pyjamas she settled in next to her husband and kissed him on the forehead. No more of this. As soon as she was done her studies in a few months she would suggest her and Clay move to another state. She had strong feelings for Jack and getting to know him made it worse, but Clay was no consolation prize. He was incredible in his own right. Stefanie decided she had to do what she had to do. She started feeling on Clay in his sleep. “It’s time to make a baby.” She said to herself.

Clay never knew what transpired between his wife and Jack. Jack never texted Stefanie again and their encounters were brief at family gatherings. “You not really warming up to Stef are you?” Clay said to Jack at one such gathering as they looked on as Stefanie animatedly chatted with Jack’s mom.

“Stef’s alright I ain’t got no issue.” Jack lied. By now he had gotten over what happened and got no further signs from Stefanie, but if he did, it would be impossible to resist her.

“Well that’s good cuz we got some news.” Clay said “Can I get everyone’s attention!!!” He said dinging a glass “Me and my beautiful wife have an announcement.”

“We appreciate you all very much.” Clay said reaching for Stefanie’s hand who all of a sudden looked pale Jack noticed.

“We are pregnant and moving to New York so Stef can make her UN dream come true and I can put my career in turbo.” Clay shared as he rubbed Stefanie’s stomach. She stood there half-smiling not saying a word.

Jack retreated to the basement den to watch tv while everyone cheered for them and cornered them talking excitedly asking them tons of questions. He didn’t want to leave abruptly and draw any negative attention but he could always make the excuse he was on a call.

Well this was it. Stefanie and Clay were as good as gone. Maybe now he could really move on. He kind of already had as he was spotted at a Louisville club with a new girl since the incident in the hotel in Ohio. Stefanie heard about it and reassured herself she chose the right brother. It was no life for her to cheat on Clay with Jack. She noticed Jack had walked away but preoccupied herself talking to family. Maggie and Brian were disappointed Clay was moving so far away, and Brian noticed Jack had quietly slipped away. Something wasn’t right.

“Hey son. Everything ok?” Brian said catching Jack in the Lazy-boy watching soccer.

“I’m just tired is all.” Jack said quietly not looking at him

“Weird to see Clay doing all this so fast huh?” Brian said

“Tell me about it. Weird is the right word.” Jack replied sullenly

“Listen son, it’s hard for all of us all these changes.” Brian offered

“Yeah I just need to find someone like what Clay’s got.” Jack said sadly

“You will son. It’s harder for you is all but you will.” Brian said encouragingly “You’ll find your Maggie one day or your Sugar.”

“Dad?” Jack asked “What made you know mom was the one?”

“I couldn’t get her off my mind.” His dad said

“Yeah sounds about right. I think I met my soul mate but it’s not meant to be.” Jack mused almost like his dad wasn’t there.

“That’s tough son. I’m sorry to hear that. There’s lots of great gals out there.” He said “I better get back don’t stay down here too long.”

Jack resigned himself to rejoin the celebration after the first half of the game. He heard footsteps and looked up to see Stefanie. “Hi Jack. May I sit?” She said kindly

“Ah sure Stef…or should I say mom.” Jack smiled and touched her stomach “I wish..”

“I know. Part of me wishes that too. Are you ok?” She asked

“Are you happy Stef?” Jack asked

“I’m so happy.” She smiled

“That’s good. I’m happy for both of you really.” He said

“I’m glad because I feel kind of bad.” She said starting to tear up

“Oh no shhoooosh I’ll be ok really.” Jack comforted her holding her as she sobbed

“I have no idea why the universe works the way it does.” She said “You should be the father not the uncle.”

“Stef stop this, what’s done is done. I should have left you alone.” Jack said regretfully “I’ll always be there for y’all you hear me? We can’t help how this worked out.” He said pecking her on the forehead and catching her perfume. “I’d rather have it eat at me every day than ruin my brother’s happiness. He thinks I don’t like you so make like we’re all good with each other ok?” Jack said with a wink.

“Ok Jack. Thank you, and for what it’s worth…I…I came down here to tell you…I do love you, but you would break my heart. I can’t compete in your world.” She said earnestly

“Stef, you on a pedestal. Nobody can touch you.” Jack said swallowing hard “and nobody better or imma catch a case.”

They both laughed and headed back upstairs. Stefanie went over to Clay and gave him a kiss and nodded to Jack from across the room. Clay sent Stefanie down to talk to Jack hoping if they talked a bit Jack would soften up to her. He had no idea and would never know what almost happened.

@itsyagirljaz @jackharlow502

[slime-sandwhich-nom]

Haha..new tawog hcs <3

(also my mom always told me I was exactly like Gumball and I never forgot about it)

- gumball loves horror, horror films, games anything. Darwin does not.

- gumball standard face is :3, the problem is that people can't understand if he's smiling mischievously or if it's his normal face.

- gumball when he was younger liked to snooze in Darwin's bowl.

Darwin had to sleep in the bathtub sometimes for it

- Carrie feels lonely because she can't touch anything, not even Darwin. She feels alone despite being in a room with so many people.

- penny flirts, Gumball gets flustered.

- gumball enjoys saying words in different languages, he likes to say ciao, hola, excusez-moi,Nǐ hǎo and more. It's simple words really, hello, excuse me, or words of objects like pants, paper, anything. He just likes to do that.

- Darwin likes to hum parts of songs, while instead gumball likes to make little noises.

Darwin says that if he hears weird noises around him he knows he's not going crazy it's just gumball.

- gumball speaks alone, he just speaks out loud to himself (got it from his grandma.), Darwin instead likes to write (no matter how bad his handwriting is.) he just keeps a diary no one can read and instead looks like some kind of secret code.

- Richard knows how to cook, he's just too lazy to do so. Sometimes he does cook whenever Nicole can't because she's too tired.

- Nicole suffers of insomnia.

- gumball is he sits still for too long will start rocking slightly unconsciously, he doesn't even notice it when he does it.

- Darwin has abandonment issues, which explains his jealousy whenever gumball and penny hang out.

it surely does annoy gumball because he can't properly enjoy some time alone with his girlfriend, but he gets where Darwin comes from, so he doesn't get mad, but he gets annoyed still.

Gumball makes up for Darwin by hanging out with him the next day.

- Anais is.. lonely. The only time she ever gets someone to hang out with is Polly. Whenever gumball is babysitting her.

But it's still lonely for Anais since it's not that often.

- when people say Gumball is anxious and paranoid, they ain't joking. Gumball is genuinely anxious about anything, talking to people he doesn't know, going in public, coming in late, coming in too early, what if this happens, what if that happens. He just pretends he's all good (he is very much not)

- Darwin always wonders what would happen if they were fictional, who would be he shipped with.

Gumball knows that answer very well. He decides to stay silent for his brother's mental health. (He saw things that he shouldn't have)

- gumball is the kid who says romance is disgusting but then gets all lovely dovely with his girlfriend

- gumball originally wanted the bed on top because he enjoyed watching everyone from up there but Darwin wanted him by his side at night so he just got the bottom one.

- gumball is the one asking "would you still love me if I was a worm" in the relationship.

- Nicole is not a cat person, and it's actually a thing between cats. For example my eldest cat HATES other cats, it took him ages to get used to the new kitten. Oh but he's super friendly and cuddly with new people! He loves anything that isn't a cat. He purrs and cuddles.

So yeah. Nicole doesn't enjoy the presence of other cats around, unless it's a cat she knows, like her parents or his son. (It's a territory thing for cats, btw.)

- Darwin sometime pets gumball with his feet. Gumball lets him until it gets annoying.

- gumball sometimes joins in the gossip between masami and Leslie.

- Penny's dad is tormented by gumball. He's like when a cat goes specifically to the people who don't like cats and ignore everyone else. That's exactly their relationship.

Y'know the whole "I bought a cat despite my dad not wanting it" situation? Yeah. That's gumball and penny's family.

- Anais once ran a business where she sold candy, and she got money instead. Didn't run for long because president brown treated it like some illegal drug situation or something

- gumball when he was younger was that one kid who looks cute and acts innocent around adults but he's a nightmare to the other kids his age. He still is, he's just everyone's problem now.

- once in class they talked about scoliosis or any problem of posture and it took weeks for gumball to convince Darwin that he did not have scoliosis or any of the other things, he's just a cat and cats are built weird. It's normal.

- whenever Gumball coughs he sounds like a dying man who has smoked for 30 years, no one knows why but it scares the shit out of everyone each time.

- gumball thrives in dresses. He's the prettiest girl at the party.

- honestly gumball is just a crazy bastard, in the real sense. Like he's fully unhinged and it's not even funny, penny is dating some kind of maniac who will literally kill people just because he wants to prove a point (and he did already in the show. Multiple times.)

And..she still loves him and she just says "it's part of his charm."

- gumball whenever he has to go to the doctor (or vet, in his case.) has to be tied up and sedated real hard because he just hates hospitals. He just hates any hospital, doctor, vet, anything. He hates being there, it makes him super uncomfortable and he has tried before to escape but ended up doing more damage than anything

Anais Is only scared like a little kid, nothing wrong with that, usually it's Darwin to hold her hands (gumball can't because he's busy not being at the doctor. He doesn't wanna go near anything that relates to a doctor or a hospital.)

Darwin is relatively calm at the doctor's appointment (he cries after because he was real scared but was very brave.)

- the reason why gumball hardly gets sick (and if he does is because he makes himself sick just to skip school.) is because he was basically FED antibiotics when he was a toddler. His mother was just very anxious about gumball and his health.

then there's Anais, getting sick once a week.

- Gumball ironically thought of becoming a doctor once, simply because the subject itself is interesting. buttt he gave it up because he's too lazy to actually study all that crap.

- gumball either doesn't remember any of his dreams, or if he does it feels like something that actually happen (it didn't) or he was high or something.

Darwin remembers them very clearly and enjoys talking about it! They are nonsensical though.

Anais actually has.. somewhat..normal dreams? She dreams about daisy anyway.

- sometimes Leslie asks gumball genuine opinion on boys in terms of dating, since Leslie only knows gumball who (as a guy) likes guys. The rest seem to be straight (therefore will only talk to you about girls, instead of boys) or just aren't interested in dating.

..only because gumball actually has good points and good taste. In both boys and girls. (But Leslie is interested in boys.)

- gumball sometimes says that penny looks like a sunset and that he would prefer seeing her over the actual sunset, she hasn't recovered from it still.

- gumball figured out he was bisex because before he had a crush on penny he actively thought a few guys in his school were cute and he would date them if he had the chance. Probably had a crush on one or two of 'em.

- in the Wattersons house there's this rule of "don't trust gumball if he's either sleep deprived or after 8pm" because he'll start spitting stuff like "your nervous system has no idea your eyes exist so once they find out, you are already blind because the nervous system sees them as a threat." Or "you can get an aneurysm at any time no matter how healthy you are" and it freaks Darwin out to the point he can't sleep.

so they told Darwin, gumball just lies by 8pm and doesn't think straight when sleep deprived. Just so Darwin can sleep.

- penny is a gumball apologist. Yes her boyfriend is a dumbass and yes he did nothing wrong (she absolutely knows gumball is totally in the wrong most of the time but she defends him nonetheless.)

- gumball is normally on his tippy toes, like any cat. So to reach Penny's cheek to kiss her he has to get on a stool, needs her to crouch down or she needs to pick him up.

- penny is going insane with the whole red flag, green flag, situationship, one month rule this one month rule that.. gumball instead has NO idea how to date or what to do but he's doing a better job than any guy in existence.

- Carrie and gumball hang around in hunted houses. For fun. Gumball is the "hey ghosts! It's ya boy!" Type.

- penny enjoys getting all dressed up whenever it's for a date and gumball is Adam Sandler walking around with his clothing style

- usually it's gumball who makes a ponytail for Anais with her ears.

- yeah gumball has a sister, you know he's well educated on periods and all that shit. (His mother got him ready before Anais was born for when she'll need help.)

- gumball is just not innocent. Not in the sense that he's dirty minded, it's that he just knows stuff normal kids his age don't.

He just acts clueless and dumb so people don't expect much from him, he's too lazy to get high expectations. but he's actually smart and more mature mentally than kids his age.

- Darwin HATES vomiting. Vomit. Anything related to that. He's not scared but really REALLY grossed out, can't even think about it he gets nauseous himself.

- Darwin takes ages to type on phone so he always asks gumball who's relatively fast.

- Darwin.. can't spell. Or at least, has difficulties in it. Gumball always messes with him by giving him the wrong spelling. Darwin never realizes.

- gumball has big difficulties in math. and ms. Simian doesn't make it easier for him.

- Darwin info dumps about sea animals. Gumball now know useless facts about sea animals. (Does not complain)

- gumball likes lemons...again something he shouldn't eat but he does anyway.

- the nickname gumball is from the fact that he tends to sleep tucked in like a ball, which looks like a blue gumball. People just started calling him constantly 'gumball' because it's funny when a cat has a stupid name. (Realistic to irl anyway)

- gumball has a problem with texture.

gumball has both problems with texture AND picky on his own, his mother is going insane with it.

- gumball and Nicole are the fastest in the family, gumball is the fastest in his class if we don't count bobert.

while Nicole shows often how fast she is, gumball is too lazy for that. At least for P.E.

Normally he slows down so Darwin can keep up with him.

- gumball enjoyed eating fish but since it made Darwin uncomfortable he stopped altogether.

- sometimes people tell Darwin that his brother doesn't love him, because cats "don't love you", and that most likely if Darwin dies gumball will eat him.

Darwin response is "okay, I'll let him. He's gotta eat if he's hungry."

- yes gumball often ignores everyone like general cats do. He moves his ears towards your direction but god forbid him to stop his session of watching people from the window and stalk them.

- the coach has to literally give gumball an extra prize (food for free for example) to "motivate him" to do any kind of exercise during P.E. otherwise that cat will never feel like doing unnecessary exercise.

(20% of the time it works.)

- having gumball as a student is like having this guy hang around without a care of the fact that you're here.

Darwin instead will follow instructions CONSTANTLY, sometimes too literally though.

- gumball when he was little used to grab birds or small animals and bring the home, he never really "hunted" them, he just wanted them as a friend in the house.

- gumball is just an average cat just with the ability to talk.

So this small little thing with a massive ego. Y'know, kitty cats!

Nicole is more traumatized than anything, she's the opposite of gumball but that's just because of trauma, really. She still hasn't healed fully from it.

- when gumball was younger he used to bring random food to Darwin because he thought his little brother wasn't capable of doing it himself- like when a cat hunts for you and brings you birds or mice. He's just tryna help.

Sometimes he still does.

- gumball tilts his head when he's confused and trying to understand something.

- cats..play with their food.

You know damn well gumball dies that too. Just not with food, he plays around with people. By making shenanigans and chaos around of course, all in good fun! So yeah he's entertaining himself while everyone screams around.

- gumball stress eats

- when gumball, or any of the Watterson kids need comfort, they go to their father. If they need advice and someone to kick ass, they go to their mother.

- gumball would rather adopt than getting Penny's pregnant. He knows what kind of stuff can happen with a pregnancy or giving birth (death, specifically.) and his anxious ass will not put his girlfriend through that.

- gumball is secretly a nerd. He particularly likes biology and psychology.

He hides this fact about him though, being a nerd at a middle school is like asking to be killed on the spot.

- just like for Darwin watching gumball's ears move individually and can do a 180° is freaky, for gumball it's weird looking at Darwin move his little fish tail at will.

- Darwin taught gumball how to swim like gumball taught Darwin how to walk.

- gumball's grandma (Nicole's mom) has definitely cried like once or twice just by looking at gumball. Because that's HER GRANDSON. And he's just so similar to her child, it's like watching both her little girl in front of her again and watching how much she has missed of Nicole's life.

Gumball's grandpa just calls gumball "Nicole."

"hey Nicole!"

"I'm gumball"

"same thing"

- gumball remembers everything. He pretends not to, but he does. Even if sometimes people say something else happened or have no memory of it, he just remembers it.

This means he remembers when rob killed his entire family in front of him, and gumball is still not fucking over it.

right after it he couldn't sleep or just HAD to cling to Darwin because he thought nothing would happen if he did. If gumball can't die because he's the protagonist, then if he clings to Darwin then neither can he.

Took weeks, painful weeks, of gumball recovering from a trauma only he remembers. His own family tried their best to help him while not even knowing what was bothering him.

Gumball doesn't hate rob but in that moment he wanted to kill him so bad, and he tried too (the only time gumball hates that his own show is family friendly and restrained him from hurting seriously rob)

- gumball wears clothes from the girl section because not only does they fit him better but because they are just more fun to pick (the boy section is just copy and paste. It's boring.)

- yes, Darwin's shoes are STILL the same one gumball gave him all those years ago. They are kind of falling apart but he always fixes them or changes them in order for them to fit

- gumball has a group chat but its members are all the characters that exists on cartoon network. Like yeah gumball is friends with uncle grandpa, yes with Clarence, yes with any character you can think of. They are all friends.

- gumball is the one who says "hear me out" to the most disgusting creatures ever existed.

In fact he constantly says hear me out to penny whenever she transforms into something she finds "ugly and disgusting"

he never means it sexually or anything, on one side it's a joke he likes to do to see people's reaction, on the other, he genuinely loves penny despite on how she looks and it makes her feel better whenever he says that, so.

(he literally fell in love with a walking peanut, if her turning into a dragon doesn't bring him to his knees then idk what does)

- gumball was the one kicking his feet whenever penny texted him or paid attention to him. he still does.

- people think gumball is insane, like genuinely he's mad. And he agrees

- honest I like to believe that in gumball's universe every other animal evolved, cats, bunnies, ect but humans did not or if they did, they are rare asf (reason why humans are "weird" in the gumball world) then other things started to appear, probably from radiations or something and that's where the objects started to walk around.

So everything is still modern but built not for humans but for animals/objects walking around

- Tobias and Leslie did date for a short,in secret, didn't work out too well.

Now for headcanons that I do have and did said before but saying them again

- gumball likes to hang out at Penny's just to loaf and sleep on her chest. She plays on his phone instead (Penny's dad is always worried they might be doing something freaky but that's all he sees.)

- gumball is that type of cat who sits weird as fuck. Like no he doesn't sit like a standard cat he SITS CRISS CROSS APPLESAUCE.

- Darwin has HUMAN feet. the rest is fish. Like when you glue two pieces of different toys together

- gumball is a lanky dude, like for cats he's a tall and lanky motherfucker (like his mother, for cats she's super tall just like her mother.) he just wears baggy clothes so he looks tiny (because he's a young kitten)

- gumball says ominous shit for fun

- gumball constantly slow blinks at penny, she thinks he's high or sleep deprived

- when gumball, or any character that has legs like a cat, deer, horse ect. Wears pants they look like "normal legs" (human legs.)

- gumball's tail is usually down, he's not sad or anything, he's neutral, but oh if he sees penny you see that tail raise AND vibrate (for a cat it means he's EXTRA happy to see you and that he missed you as well.)

- gumball is aware that he's in a cartoon, it's all he ever knew so he can't be upset at that if you never saw the world differently.

Ok I'm done Tumblr is starting to lag when I type on this

[reno11037]

My Live (kinda) P:EG Chapter 1 thoughts

SPOILERS AHEAD

I thought it be fun to make a post AS I play chapter one, like literally writing this as I play, I’ll also do this when the other chapters come out

Some time later I’ll make another post discussing some things in better detail

With all that out of the way, let’s begin

__________

Downloading now

Launching and loading now

Chat I am not fucking ready for this lmao

Starting the chapter now

Opening looks so fucking sick, chat they cooked

Here we go, I’m so not ready 😭

Dorm rooms aren’t soundproof lmao

Damon’s room looks fucking sick, I love the layout of it

THERES A FUCKING REFERENCE TO DAMIAN, HES ON THE CALENDER LMAO (who if you don’t know is a cut character)

Damon called him sexy, Damon gay confirmed/J

A stage?

OH A CHIBI TOZU

Bitch just called me a chicken

DING DONG BING BONG BABY

FBI OPEN UP

THE CALENDERS ARE THEMED, DIANA GOT HORSES, TOZU LIGET LOOKED AT DAMON AND SAID ‘lmao you gay ass’

Neverminds all the girls got horses and the guys got Damian

MEETING TIME

Cool we got a map now

Lmao the name alpha sanctuary

Opp Wolfie don’t trust Damon or Eva

Diana to the rescue :D

TOZU JUMPSCARE

Lol Eloise calling him a villain

We got the rules

Desmond called him ‘Goat Guy’ lol

The shutter door opened

Exploring time

Nice looking room

A pharmacy?

And old looking pharmacy

lol Kai just worried about someone (or him) getting high on the drugs (good thing I use paint thinner/J)

Aww Ingrid’s not mad at Damon 🥺

Ok I love Ingrid omfg 🥺 she called Damon cute (she called his suit cute but still)

Ok I guess I’m helping her with laundry, i didn’t mean to click, I thought Damon would answer for me 😭

A back room? It looks like the store from DR2

Cassidy called Damon Damie, I love that nickname

Damn this area fucking large

FUCKING TOZU JUMOSCARE

Marabucks mention

One of Cassidy’s lines is ‘better zip up my fly, my genus is showing’ and I don’t know if I love it or hate it

Medical bed room 👀

Toshiko called Damon Mochi, FUCK THE OTHER NICKNAMES, I LOVE THIS ONE

Toshiko is scared of needles, she’s so me

Great another lab

Tozu plushies? I hate him but FUCK I want one

Ooohh Ingrid found a pin pad, has anyone tried 11037?

Never mind it’s only 4digits

LMAO CASIDY PUT 8008 IN THE PINPAD

Oooh we all got profiles now

Oh so they all can see each others profiles

Eva’s profile?

WHAT?? WHAT IS IT???

…

Ultimate Mathlete

lol everyone’s on Eva’s ass

Why the fuck is she so upset, it’s not that bad??

Opp she left

Welp back to the dorm

Someone’s at the door

A lot of people, everyone

So everyone’s lock is broken

Oh now I feel bad for Eva, she don’t look okay

oooohhh Toshiko playing matchmaker

Opp never mind

Splitting by gender

OOOOHHH DAMON GOT PAIRED WITH KAI

👀👀👀👀

I hate Kai’s fucking room, WHY IS IT SO PINK AND FLAMMABLE

Dividing the room I see? I’ve read this fanfic before lol

And back to the stage with Chibi Tozu

Cats and dreams?

DING DONG BING BONG BABY

Ooh letters

WTF WOLFGANG??

…

Welp

Wolf in sheep’s clothing?

Oh it’s his dad

Oh everyone got a letter

Oh it’s everyone’s secrets, I wanna know what Damon is (he’s gay lol/j)

FUCKING TOZU JUMPSCARE

Opp the first motive

Damon trying to get Tozus attention, trying to meet up with him

FREE TIME, WOLFGANG WHERE ARE YOU

USING MY MARABUCKS AND GETTING HIM A GIFT

GOT SOMETHHING HE’LL LIKE, OOOHH WOLFIE

HE LOVED IT

Oh his profile got updated

ANOTHER FREETIME?? OH WOLFIE

DING DONG BING BONG BABY

Opp it’s time to meet with Tozu

Here we go

…

And Tozu ain’t here

Nevermind he’s here now

Why Damon got Wolfgang’s secret

It was literally darts lol

Like father like son, wolf in sheep’s clothing…

Is his Wolfgang’s dad a killer or something?

Welp back to Kai

Oh Graces is swapping with ulesses (idk how to spell his name nor do I care cuz idc bout him lol)

Back to the stage with Chibi Tozu

Ships?

Oh boat ships

Boy with cream colored hair? Damon? Idk if his hair is cream colored but idk who else

Tozu built a ship? So did his friend?

DING DONG BING BONG BABY

Opp knocks on the door

Hello Ingrid ☺️

Laundry day and Kai is coming with

Oh Wolfie and Grace are here

LMAO WOLFIE CANT CLEAN OR DO LAUNDRY

I love Ingrid 🥺, she’s so gonna die tho lol

OMG I LOVE HER SINGING VOICE 🥺🥺🥺

Lmao Wolfie putting the entire bottle of detergent in

Oooh getting breakfast with Kai 👀

Oh Eva

She wants to talk to Damon?

Oh it’s Desmond’s secret

Oh Eva trusts Damon🥺 cause we took her side earlier

Oh she apologized to Damon 🥺

Now we showing her Wolfgang’s

So Wolfies dad did something bad and Wolfie is like him, like father like son

Eva lied about her talent cause she felt powerless??

Oh, oh Eva🥺 baby SHES PRECIOUS

Yea Damon and Eva are trusting each other 🥺

OH SHE SMILED 🥺🥺🥺

Opp Grace is yelling at Eloise

Opp Wolfie is upset at Damon and Eva for being late

Oh Cassidy and Jett

Oh she got games

Oooh a game tornament

Tomorrow at 9

Ok so Eloise, Wolfie and Diana won’t be there

ANOTHER FREE TIME??

I don’t have anything for Wolfgang so I’ll go spend it with Eva

Damn WHERE TF IS SHE???

Found her! Finally!

She liked by gift ☺️

She looks so depressed 🥺 my baby🥺 omfg I love her, I didn’t like her at first but now I love her

And her profile got updated

DAMN ANOTHER FREETIME??? THATS 4 IN ONE CHAPTER???

Back to Eva I guess

She liked my present

Oh Damon is allergic to dogs

Oh so Eva was forced into her talent, poor baby 🥺

Oh she was bullied too 🥺

And her profile got updated again

Oh Diana,

She wants to know how Damon is but the song Isolation is playing? TF does she really want?

Oh she is SO sus

She wants to know if Eva said something? Thank you Damon for not telling Diana

DING DONG BING BONG BABY

Kai trying to convince Damon to go to the tournament 🥺👀

And he succeeded and in return

THEY SHARING THE BED👀👀👀

IVE READ THIS FANFIC BEFORE

Back again with the stage and chibi Tozu

He had a dream

In class

Idk what he’s saying and idc lol

All I heard was Swiss Army Banana wtf is he on and how do I get some of it lol

Oh Kai is waking Damon up

They slept through the morning announcement

To the tournament

Only Damon, Kai, Eva, Cassidy, Jett and Mark are here

Oh Eva helped set it up

Oh she’s a fan of the game, people are totally gonna ship her and Cassidy now aren’t they cause I am a little lol

Jean is supposed to be here but he ain’t

Eva likes video games, she’s SO getting shipped with Cassidy. Damn now I need fanart

Oh Kai’s back

OH KAI IS SHOWING DAMON HOW TO PLAY CUTE☺️👀🥺

Jean is here

So is Grace

Oh Mark doesn’t want to talk about his talent?

OH I LOVE THE SPLASH ART THIS IS SO CUTE 🥺🥺

OH SHIT A KA-BOOM

Uh oh powers out

Using the trinkets as flashlights, smart move Jean

Ok Eva coming up with a plan to turn the power back on

Damn this looks like a horror game now

Searching in pairs and Damon is with Kai again

Aw poor Kai is scared🥺

Opp someone just ran past

Opp the boiler room, are we gonna see a dead body?

It’s silent

Oh

OH

And can’t see shit

Oh the power is back on

Lights on, dead body?

Oh

OH

????

Who

WOLFGANG NO

FUCK NO WHY

I CANT BELIEVE HES THE FIRST VICTIM NO

FUCK WHY HIM, WHY SOMEONE I CARED ABOUT???

DING DONG BING BONG BABY

A body has been discovered

Well time to investigate I guess, I’m so fucking sad I can’t believe Wolfgang was the fist victim

And Kai ran off screaming

My first guess is that he got electrocuted, there doesn’t seem to be any blood

Here comes everyone

Here’s Tozu too

Oh Toshiko is crying, GURL SO AM I 😭😭😭

We got the Tozu tablet

He was in the water in the boiler room so he did get electrocuted? At least it was quick😭

Bye Tozu

Oh Diana already looking sus

Investigating time

I’m not gonna say a lot, I’ll do that in my later post about the chapter

I wanna completely focus here cause I’m stupid lol

DING DONG BING BONG BABY

Investigatings over, trial time and I have no idea wtf happened lmao

All I know is Wolfie got electrocuted

Class trial starting, I probs won’t say a lot till it’s over cause I wanna focus

I’m so fucking confused lmao

I fucking hate rebuttal showdown, I DONT KNOW WHAT TF IM DOING 😭😭😭

WTF I KNEW DIANA WAS SUS BUT I DIDNT THINK SHE BE A KILLER I IN THE FIRST CHAPTER WTF

Oh nevermind she just watched him die?

Teatime with Tozu, I lowkey want that art as a poster ngl

NGL THESE DISHEVELED SPRITES OF WOLFGANG ARE LOWKEY KINDA HOT, SOMETHING ABOUT A MAN WITH BAGS UNDER HIS EYES ❤️😍🥵

OH DAMN THE KNIFE SPRITES

Bring her back??? TF IS HE GOING ON ABOUT??? HIS MOM???

So Diana used the taser gun on Wolfgang and then watched him die?

Opp nevermind

Is Wolfgang drugged or something??

OH DAMN KA-BOOM

Oh so Diana was framed

OH so Wolfgang was hallucinating, so he WAS drugged

Ingrid just said something sus…

I SWEAR IF ITS HER IM GONNA LOSE IT, I JUST STARTED LOVING HER 😭😭😭

Oh Damon said ‘that guy’ so it’s not her, is it Jett??? I LEGIT DONT KNOW

OH IT IS JETT??

Oh no it’s not him, killer just took something from his room

Oh wait, WAS IT SOMEONE FROM THR TOURNAMENT??? Throwing the battery through the vent???

Oh no the battery was suspended over the generator nvm

I still have no idea who tf killed Wolfgang tho

The cord was tied to the vent, SO IT WAS SOMEONE FROM THE TOURNAMENT THEN???

HOLY FUCK IT IS

WAS IT JETT??

Oh no

WAIT

EVA??

HOLY FUCK IT WAS HER

WTF I JUST STARTED LOVING HER I HATE IT HERE

It really was her, FUCK I HATE IT HERE, I JUST STARTED LOVING YOU WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS 😭😭😭

WTF EVA JUST EXPOSING DAMON FOR HAVING WOLFGANGS SECRET

OH DAMN NOW EVA TWEAKING

SHE USED THE CAMRRA?? Also did her accent change??

She used her game console, that’s fucked

Comic recap time, I still can’t believe it was Eva, I JUST STARTED TO LIKE HER, I KNEW I COULDNT TRUST A BITCH

End of class trial, FINALLY THO CAUSE BY ASS HURTS FROM SITTING SO LONG

Eva’s motive…

It was Tozu?? Tf you mean he ‘made you’?

She’s a traitor?? We got a traitor reveal THIS EARLY??

Oh nvm

So Eva approached Tozu

They made a deal??

To begin the killing game??? WTF EVA

So she did it to get a perk??

So the life or death secret about the pharmacy was the perk??

So Eva solved the life or death secret, got into the pin pad room and got the perk. Damn

and the pin is being changed again so possibly someone else could get it

The perk lets you used the cameras, damn that’s a good perk

Tf you mean you had no choice Eva??

So she did it so she could escape and leave everyone for dead

😑 I knew I fucking disliked you from the second I saw your ass

‘I’m always the one…that people hated’ oh Eva

DONT MAKE ME CARE FOR YOUR ASS AGAIN

Tf you mean you still would have died cuz of the perk??

Oh

So if Eva didn’t kill someone then she would die

Opp voting time

BYE EVA

Execution time!

Opp Eva getting dragged away like Leon in THH

At least she’s putting up a fight

Opp nvm

So far it doesn’t look at that bad

…

I was wrong

Opp she running now

Raining math stuff

And she tripped

And she stabbed herself on the math stuff

And nails

She’s crying 😭

Oh Cara’s puppet there giving her a hand, and her hand came off

And Eva fell

Oh Damon, seeing him cry watching Eva die HURTS

Everyone’s crying now

Diana lying to herself again??

She blames herself for nay saving Wolfgang, oh sweetie 😢

Oh she’s gonna live for him, cute 🥺

Oh Diana, I fucking love you holy shit

Everyone leaving

Damon

Damon I love you but tf you mean Diana pissed you off??

AND CHAPTER OVER

Damn that was wild holy shit

The devs COOKED WITH THIS ONE

[beetleviolet]

@midwesternvibes 's rottmnt villain leo au will never fail to haunt my brain so, hark! I bringeth tidings of fanfic!

I was really curious what it would take to drive Leo so apart from his family, so I tried to write it in a way that from right to me. This one really challenged me, so I hope yall like it!

To be clear, I feel like this would take place like before Leo is a villain. When the possibility it just. There.

TW: child abuse/emotional abuse, panic attacks/flashbacks, crying, murder, suicidal thoughts, ptsd

The anger started- well, no. It didn't really have a definitive start or finish. A collection of moments Leo could look back on and think, maybe this was it. Maybe this is when it all began, maybe this was when it gained momentum, maybe this was the point of no return. 

And again, even the single moments he could pick out always had other ones tangled around them. Leo took the fall for, well, everything. Not that his brothers never got in trouble but, well, if the dish broke it was Leo who broke it. If an argument started it was Leo who crossed the line. If the chores weren't done then it was Leo's turn, even if it wasn't everyone else said it was and Dad believed them. Looking back, it was an easy thing to blame Leo. He was already labeled trouble, what was a little more? 

The trouble stuck with him like his stripes, like yeah there was a mask there but come on dude, we can both see them peeking out the edges. Leo wasn't to be trusted. Leo was easy to blame. Leo was trouble. 

“Why would you do that??” 

“It was one mistake, Raph!” Raph seemed too flabbergasted to speak, only gesturing at the burning building behind him. So yeah, Leo had started an eensy-teensy little fire. He'd gotten everybody out! 

Leo's mistakes were big. There were few, but they were big, and no one wanted to let him forget it. 

“This is just like that time you broke the TV!” Mikey giggled as he brushed the plate shards into a dust pan. At least he didn't seem mad. Leo tilted his head at him,

“Uh, you broke that.”

“Did not!” Mikey protested. 

“We were playing basketball and you tried to throw it to me!” 

“You didn't catch it!” Leo felt his fingers twitch, wanting to flex, maybe a tic he picked up from Donnie. Frustrated. Angry. A start. 

Leo couldn't remember what happened next, really. They got interrupted by some other brotherly shenanigan. It was just. Well. Leo loved Mikey. He shouldn't be mad! You weren't supposed to get mad at the people you loved, right? Right? 

“Leonardo!” Yikes, full name treatment. Leo jumped, scrambling on 7 year old legs. “You did not help Red cook dinner!?” 

“Uh..” Leo peered behind the looming figure of his Dad, where Raph was half hugging a sniffling Mikey with a bandage on his finger. “..no?” 

“Your brother got hurt!” Oh, that made sense. Mikey was still learning. He had been clammering Raph for a chance to help in the kitchen, that's why Leo didn't today. But he couldn't say that because Splinter had that- that look. That clenched jaw that scared Leo more than anything. Dad didn't hit them, usually, not really. Maybe a small fwip behind the head if they were very bad, a sandal thrown by if they said something out of line. It wasn't that, really. Dad didn't like to do that, sometimes he even apologized for it. Usually to Donnie and Mikey, but whatever. But it wasn't that. 

It was more the glaring, the teasing, the yelling, oh when Dad yelled at him Leo could do nothing but shake. It was his brothers watching. It was his brothers watching when it was Mikey who had thrown that basketball so it hit the TV, the TV Donnie was fixing as Dad screamed. Leo shook, he set his jaw and blinked and he didn't cry, he didn't cry. Leo wouldn't start crying. He didn't start. A start. 

Once, when April came over after a fun mission, she did this announcer thing, where she gave everyone an intro as they entered the room. Leo was up to go last. Turned out he wouldn't go at all. And them everyone went to bed. 

It overshadowed those little papers Leo kept in the drawer of his bedside. Notes and doodles and things his brothers had said to him, happy things. Like the time Donnie said he loved Leo, not “I love you guys”, he said “I love you”, just to Leo. The time Mikey made his favorite pizza because he was sad. A big hug from Raph, paper airplanes with good messages from April. That bedside table got crushed when the lair was, well, shredded, and Leo sat on his knees, seiza, picking up as many as he could before his brothers caught up. 

“Come on, Leo.” 

“Gimme a second.” He heard Raph shift impatiently,

“You're taking so long.”

“Can't rush perfection.” He could feel Raph's eye roll. 

“You know bein’ down here makes Don upset.” Sure, this was about Donnie. Leo shoved a few more into his pouch. 

“It's not a party for me either.”

“This isn't about you!” Raph snapped, and Leo felt like a scrap of paper as he trembled in the wind. That was the first time Raph had said it to him. The first time. The start. 

On one of those scraps of paper was a time when his Dad lectured him, and Leo shook and he didn't cry and Dad sort of faded out and watched him. Leo stared at the floor next to Dad's feet, waiting to be told to bring his eyes up, waiting for the, “Look at me when I'm talking to you!”, but it didn't come. Dad just. Looked at him. Looked at him for longer than he might have ever before. Splinter never looked at him when Leo was talking. Or when he wasn't, really. Not really.

“...go to your room.” He said, and Leo just about ran. In his room, he was allowed to cry. Well, there was no rule against crying, not one written or said, but Leo could feel the pressure when he did it, eyes and expectations on his skin, and so he didn't cry. Except now he started to. Now he sobbed. He jumped at the knock at the door. He'd never heard that knock before. Mikey did the one from Frozen, knock knock kno-knock knock!, and Raph would bang twice, Knock! Knock!, and Donnie did morse code, something different every time. This was a simple knock, a tentative, knock knock knock against the door frame. Leo didn't answer, maybe couldn't. The curtain rippled as Splinter entered. He had a plate in his hand. He watched as Leo scrubbed his eyes before placing the plate, a plate of fruit, on the bedside. Then again, he watched. Stared. 

Leo wanted a hug.

It wouldn't fix anything, and there was something inside of himself screaming, no! He didn't need it! He wouldn't mean it anyway! And maybe he wouldn't. But soft fur, warmth around him, a gentle hand against the dip of his shell. Splinter had this lullaby he would sing to a fussy Mikey, a sick Donnie, a sleepy Raph on the couch. Leo wanted to hear it. He wanted it so bad. 

He and Splinter stared at each other. And then his father left the room. Leo ate the fruit. Oranges and strawberries. 

He didn't write all of that. He wrote, “Dad cut fruit for me.” And that was all. That was all. 

And then

And then there was the Krang. 

Leo was a lot of things. He was a hero, he was a martyr, he was a brother, he was a son, he was dead, maybe, somewhere, and he was hurting and he was trouble. 

His family loved him. They opened that portal for him, so they loved him. But Mikey loved Draxum too, because he was family. So yeah, his family loved him. They wouldn't be the same without him. But did they like him? 

Dad avoided him for a while. So did Raph. They were mad at him, Leo thought, for starting this whole mess. Mikey was a whole mess. He cried a lot, happy and sad, and Donnie sat on the medbay chair, not spinning like he usually did, just sitting. No one would give Leo a straight answer about anything. Eggshells. Sometimes, everything got too much and darkness closed in and Leo lost control. Raph would help, when that happened, but when that happened Leo wasn't Leo, he was just scared and he didn't think, he only flinched away from the red and green above him. Raph started to cry. They all looked at him. Leo looked back. He couldn't speak. They looked away. A start, or maybe a finish, because Leo hadn't expected anything more. 

Dad sang that lullaby to him. 

That he didn't see coming. He was alone, still in the medbay, still still still, and his thoughts were pulling at his skin and dragging him down. Leo couldn't move. He couldn't speak. He couldn't talk. Small, clawed feet padded closer. Leo shook. 

Stroking fingers on his forehead, a quiet hum, smooth Japanese, and Leo got everything he had been asking for. 

It wasn't enough for him to calm down, no, not nearly, so after a while, a blessed, blessed while, Dad left, and Donnie appeared. He counted his breaths orderly, fingers flexing because he wanted to leave and get back to work. He was anxious. Leo couldn't help but catch it, his breathing ok but he couldn't stop shaking. Donnie didn't know what to do. He asked something and Leo nodded and then they left him alone. His breath began to catch. A beginning, a start. An end. 

All alone. It was funny, how he felt that phrase with his whole soul. There was no one for miles. His chest was an empty bell. Leo swung his legs over the edge of the skyscraper. It was funny, when he tried to die, they didn't leave him alone for days.

It wasn't that he wanted to, it was just. 

He wanted to know what they'd think, just a little. Maybe this could finally prove that they need him, just a bit. But Leo was all alone. 

He shook it off. He was 16 years old, and he didn't want to die. He was 16 years old, and he had to start for home now if he wanted to get back before anyone noticed he left. Had to start for home. He had to start. 

So naturally he sat right there and stared at the skyline. 

They sent April after him, when he kept missing calls. He watched the text messages roll in, telling him that breakfast was ready, that they had training in an hour, that he better be back by tonight for patrol. That he was worrying them. His heart rate was steady, according to Donnie, but he was worrying them. 

April was dropped off by a Genius Built something or other, Leo didn't turn around to check. She stepped forward and, oddly enough, stayed quiet as she sat next to him. She watched the city with him, rustling and bustling below, and then she bumped their shoulders together, arm against arm, and Leo was shaking and and and

He couldn't cry. He couldn't start. April pressed warm against his arm and she stayed there until his breaths were even, his face still dry. 

He might have written that down on a scrap of paper, if he did that anymore. Maybe he should start, he thought, laying staring staring at the ceiling. His room was sound proof, but he could feel them talking about him. That was the only reason he was still alone. Probably. Maybe. It was just. 

It was just. 

Leo felt everything. It was like 16 years of feelings had all slammed together into a knotted mess in his chest. There was probably some logic to that, if he were to ask Mikey about it. Something about the connection between recent traumatic events and coping skills. He didn't care. Leo just curled up on his bed and imagined he was drifting. He imagined he was somewhere else. 

When Leo was little, when he was trouble, more then usual, he would imagine he was a scrappy kid on a forgotten planet with lore only he knew. He pick pocketed Jupiter Jim, which was bad, but Jim saw he was just hungry and desperate and decided to take him with them. Red Fox was hesitant, but by the end of their adventure she trusted him completely. Which sucked because Leo was a spy for the planet leader the whole time. What was he supposed to do? There was something about Leo that was just fundamentally different then Red Fox and Jim. Why fight that? 

But whenever Leo got that far he started getting tired, so he mentally skipped his redemption arc and right to the dramatic moment, where he was told everything would be ok. And 7 year old Leo fell asleep imagining he was held. 

He stopped when he got older, well aware that self-insert JJ fanfiction, however G rated it may be, was still pretty weird. Leo was pretty weird. Yeah, his whole family was, but Leo was different from them, another category, walls and subway tracks between them. 

It all came down to Leo wanting to be as close to his family as possible, but never actually succeeding. So he just ran away. 

Maybe he could just. Run away. 

It would be easy enough, right? With his portal swords and everything. 

Run away. A fresh start. 

Leo stared at the wall. He had some money from picking up shifts at Run of the Mill, but knowing his family he couldn't just go back there, so he would have to find a different job. Donnie had access to the whole city at the press of a button, so he would have to move out of New York. Maybe somewhere in the Hidden City, out of his families reach. Maybe-

Knock knock knock. 

Tentative. He knew that knock. 

“Blue? Your brothers say it is time for your patrol.” Right, that. What was he doing, getting all wrapped up in maybes? He wasn't running away. This was just a phase, he just had to wait out all of his tangled emotions and then everything would go back to how it used to. 

“Coming!” He called, tieing on his mask. He straightened it in the mirror, pulling it a little wider to hide more of his stripes. His phone was dead, so he left it charging by his bed, snatched up his katanas and stepping into the hall. 

Raph was mad-worried, Leo could smell it, literally and figuratively. April must have told him something. Leo would have to balance on his tightrope of being obnoxious enough to not cause worry, but not too much, or he would earn a lecture for missing the training he himself had scheduled. There may be a couple snide comments eitherway, but Leo would smile from his spot 50 feet in the air, dancing, daring. 

But before he could leave, his father had looked at him. 

“Have a good time, Blue,” He said. And then, “I love you.” 

Oh. 

Leo could have gone through at least 300 different memories, at least 600, at least 1000. Every moment of wanting and wishing and now he was here. And now. 

Leo looked at his Dad, at Splinter. He looked at the super-star turned rat, celebrity turned father, and he just. 

“Bye, Dad.” Leo said, and he didn't cry. He turned on his heel and he walked. 

…it felt kind of good that he was the one walking this time. A kind of good he didn't want to think about.

—

Hypno and Warren. 

Months ago, that wouldn't have sent a shudder up his spine. Months ago, that wouldn't make the room go cold and his heart started to thud. But months ago, Hypno and Warren hadn't made the biggest mistakes of their lives. And months ago, the simmering mass, the start in Leo's chest wasn't hell bent on proving it. 

His brothers did their usual banter, if a little strained from nerves, but the two villains were as mediocre as ever. 

The three of them kept trying to catch his eye, concerned because Leo wasn't talking. He didn't really know why. You'd think they'd like it better this way. Even Warren was making comments. Why should he have to pretend around them, anyway? Joke and smile to what, make them feel better? Leo loved his family, he loved them with all of his heart, but his chest was on fire and today he just. He couldn't. 

And then Mikey went down. 

It was just a sprained ankle. Just a sprained ankle. But Mikey yelped in pain and his eyes shone and he was about to start crying. About to start. Raph's eyes went white. Donnie bared his teeth. And Leo. 

Leo. 

He didn't really think about it too hard. Not really. He just opened a portal. Just a small one, right around Hypnos torso. He spoke, voice a little stilted, a little to the left, 

“Will you grow back too?” Hypno looked at him with round eyes. Warren began to stutter, something high and pleading, but Leo couldn't hear. 

“Let him go!” Raph commanded. Why did he care? These were the ones who started it all, who stole the key in the first place, who was Raph to protect them? Leo's brother had the worst kind of savior complex. 

“Nardo, what are you doing?” Donnie asked. He already knew, he asked anyway. Wasn't he supposed to be the logical one? Emotional bad-boy? What a joke.

Hypno would cause nothing but danger for his family. Nothing but trouble. Why did they care? 

“Leo.” Mikey said, soft. He met Leo's gaze, fierce, “Let him go, please. I'm alright.” Oh.

Oh no, no, what was he doing?

“Step out.” He whispered. Hypno scrambled away. Leo let the portal snap close. 

Oh no, no no no no. 

What was he

“Leo?” 

Hate him. He had to go. Had to start. 

Leo slashed in front of himself, stepping through without a second thought. 

Maybe he should have just

No, no, don't think like that. 

Maybe

Leo stumbled, landing heavily on the ground. He pressed his palms into the pavement, cement leaving indents into his skin, cold and damp. Grit coated itself on his knees, tremors working through them in waves. 

No, no, no. 

Maybe

He should have

Stop.

But he couldn't slow his thoughts, ringing through his bones like a bell. 

He should have done it. 

Maybe this was the point of no return, the end, it was over. Regret curling in his gut, a photo in his pocket that he didn't spare a glance. It hitched in his chest, and Leo felt his face grow hot. Burning eyes, burning burning, tears.

A start. 

[intervalart]

Hey, it‘s that same anon again! *is gripped by you* oh wow okay haha 😅 do you…do you also wanna talk about Mad’s headcanons? I have ONE about him, that he’s from San Francisco (and i guess also that he’s Spanish 😅) you can talk about these guys as much as you want. They’re in my head too 😁

SORRY ANON, I HAVE BEEN FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE IRL, YOU DON’T EVEN WANNA KNOW HOW DUMB ITS BEEN.

But here I am! It’s now! So here’s some Mad Dog Headcanons!

I also hc that he’s from San Francisco actually! But I Go a bout it slightly different. xD For one thing, I hc that he’s at least half Chinese (possibly half so that he’s at least Passing so he doesn’t get slurs heaved upon him immediately upon entering a room), so he knows Some Cantonese™, but his family wanted him to speak English whenever possible, so he's kinda rusty on it. (He probably knows some Spanish too, but isn’t as fluent as Sundown)

But let’s start from the top;

(Some stupid pictures of the stupid dummy to break up the cut)

His mom used to be… well, a prostitute. If you called her that to his face he’d probably kill you though. (She wasn’t the nicest or gentlest lady since she’d had a hard life, but she still instilled “respect women” into him since she’d seen all kinds of shit in her old job.) Because of this, Mad Dog never knew his dad, lived with his mom, aunt, and probably an uncle (a large family overall), and had to live down jeers from other kids about his mom being a “woman of the night”.

He was driven to prove himself though, cuz he couldn't stand to inherit the fish shop or be around his stifling family, he wanted to do more with his life and make it his own. So he basically worked his ass off to be anything but blue collar. Refined, educated, wealthy, etc. (if anything to distance himself from his past as much as possible)

Eventually, he got himself a gig in the theater, sometimes acting on stage with his troupe members, other times working backstage with all the fly system. (Which is why he’s both a total fruit cake [theater kid], and why he’s good at traps and technical stuff when helping set the traps). He was basically living out his dreams… until the theater was foreclosed and shut down. (I want to write a comic about this someday, but drawing backgrounds gives me agita)

He hit the booze, coping from the perceived failure of his career, but he was too proud to go back to his family’s fish shop (cuz remember, he's the most stubborn guy ever, and I don’t think his relationship with the family is Great™), so in an act of desperation (despite protests from his theater pals), he picked himself up by the bootstraps and started bounty hunting to pay the bills.

He was crafty with it, so it worked in his favor for a while… But there’s a distinct point in time where he hasn't had to kill a man yet, and a tiny part of him wonders if he can. Like… he’s acted it out on stage, and he’s stood up for himself multiple times in fights, but he’s never been directly responsible for killing anyone. (yet)

This goes out the window pretty quick though, cuz quickly proves he can kill a man when it's in self defense. (his trip to the bounty board in Texas was not uneventful, and his dandy-ass is painting a target on himself with how he dresses lmaoooo)

After that, he quickly builds his reputation and, it kinda goes from there lol. So now time for bullet points.

Mad Dog wants you to think he got his name because of his stubborn personality and unwillingness to let go of his target (It is, partly), but he actually got his name because in one of his first bar fights in Texas, he absolutely 100% bit a guy. (He doesn’t talk about that part as much.)

He’s is a pretty good cook! Since the family had a fish shop, he learned how to cook them, but he expanded on his own culinary vocabulary himself.

However, he’s not very good at sewing. His mom or his aunt would usually fix his clothes for him, the theater had a seamstress/costumer, and he always paid for tailors to make his suits for him. He just never had a reason to learn.

Also, his taste in food can make him a bit of a food snob. He always insists that he do the cooking, cuz he is… Not impressed by Sundown’s cooking.

He is also a good dancer, but instead of from dodging bullets like Sundown regularly does, it’s for fun and fancy purposes (see also Texas Jitterbug).

I have actually previously discussed this, but I actually think that Mad Dog miiiiiight not be the most accurate shooter on his own, so he relies on the longer barrel of the Buntline Special to improve his accuracy. (Even though trying to use it for quickdraw is really REALLY stupid, but that’s another post).

Tying into stupid things…. ugh. -holding my head-. He’s clever. He’s crafty. He’s tactical. He can come up with some of the smartest and ingenuitive things you’ve ever seen. And he is the stupidest motherfucker on the planet. Bro ABSOLUTELY has high INT and low WIS. He wears a BLACK SUIT IN THE DESERT FOR FUCK’S SAKE. AND EYELINER. IN THE DESERT.

Anyways, that’s all I’ve got for now, and again, this is not tying into AU iterations, where things will be slightly different (especially in BBFF and Roleswap… And Duende AU, but that requires knowing OC lore)

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk, now I’m gonna go throw MD in the wood chipper, bye.

[issdisgrace]

Could you do one of Asa with a Dominant male reader? Possibly even throwing in a bit of bondage. I just want to see this wall of a man crying while he’s getting dicked down.

REWARD FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR

WARNINGS: Fluff, smut, collaring, Asa is autistic fight me, also Asa is a good boy that sings like a canary in the bedroom

Today was a normal day, for the most part. Asa had gone to the hotel and would be back before dinner with my family. I tidy up and made sure to put away all the things that would hint that mine and Asa's relationship was far from a normal one. Asa was a man of power and control everywhere else, but here in our home, I was the one with the power and control. It was nice to see over the years of being with Asa just how things changed. He was once a very closed off and stiff man, but as time went on, that man was slowly replaced with a more relaxed and open man. It was a long time to get Asa to this point, but it was worth it. I wish he would be more like the man I know behind close doors with others like my family. In the 7 years of our relationship and our 3 years of marriage, I don’t think Asa has said more than an essay worth of stuff to my family. My family’s still not sure about Asa despite us being together for 7 years. Now that Asa’s in a good spot emotionally, I have hopes that this dinner will open a new door and my family will see just how good Asa is. At 5:30 I started dinner. Asa will be home any minute and my family arriving at 6. While I’m preparing the vegetables, I hear Asa come home.

“I’m in the kitchen, love.” I call out. I hear his soft footsteps as he makes his way to the kitchen.

“Hello.”

“Hi, Asa. How was the hotel?”

“Good, I got to get a couple of things, but I was going to go out tomorrow and get what I need.”

“I’ll go with you. I have to pick up a couple of things. While we’re out, we can try that cafe that opened last week.”

“Sounds good.”

“Oh, I got you something. It came in the mail earlier.”

“What have I told you about spoiling me?”

“Asa, you are my husband. I can spoil you all I want. Wait here and let me go get it.” I leave my spot at the counter and walk into the living room and grab the box off the coffee table. I make my way back to the kitchen to find Asa making himself a cup of tea. 

“Here love.” I say and hand it to him. I watch him closely as he opens it. He examines it, slight shock written on his face. 

“This is like 30 different types of Scarabaeus beetles, how?”

“I know some people.”

“How much did it cost?”

“That is none of your concern, love. Now you got to go get ready. My family will be here in a bit.”

“Ok, I love you and thanks for this.”

“No problem, Asa, I love you too.” I give him a kiss before sending him off. I go back to cooking and before I know it, there’s a knock on the door. I answer the door and there is my mom, dad, younger brother, and my younger sister.

“Come on in dinners about ready.”

“Where’s that husband of yours?” Dad asks.

“Upstairs, I got him a new piece, so he’s probably putting it away.”

“That’s sweet.” Mom says.

“You know you spend too much on that excuse of a husband.” Dad says.

“Dad, Asa is not a bad man, nor is he a terrible husband. It’s just he’s not used to other people.” 

“Huh? Sounds like you're making an excuse.” He says.

“F/n leave poor Asa alone. I know he’s a good boy and if he wasn’t, I would let him marry y/n.” Mom speaks up. 

“Well, I’m still mad he went to you, not me, to ask for y/n’s blessing.”

“Dad, remember he didn’t have a good relationship with his father.” My brother b/n speaks up. My dad grumbles. 

“Alright everyone stop, we are going to have a good dinner. You are going to be nice to my husband and not make any snarky comments, ok. Now you guys go have a seat in the living room and I’ll go get Asa.”

“I want to see Asa.” The s/n days. She loves him. 

“Alright, let’s go get Asa.” She follows me up the stairs and into Asa’s office. Asa is in a pair of black slacks, gray turtleneck, black dress shoes. He looks lovely as always. He is bent over his collection, examining each and everyone making sure they are all placed correctly.

“Asa.” The s/n cries out and runs to hug him. Asa turns around just in time to be engulfed in the hug. 

“S/n, how have you been doing?” He says, looking down at her. 

“I was good, except b/n almost set the house on fire the other day.”

“Does mom and dad know?” I ask, mildly concerned.

“No, and please don’t tell mom and dad. They will never let us stay home by ourselves ever again.” 

“Ok, but next time I won’t be so generous.”

“Thanks, so Asa y/n said he got you new bugs what did you get.” One reason S/n and Asa get along is because S/n also likes bugs. S/n pulls away from Asa and lets him show her the scarab beetles.

“You guys come down when you're done. Dinner will be done is 15 minutes.”

“Ok, we’ll be down soon.” I leave them with a smile, knowing they will geek out over the beatles together.

TIME SKIP AFTER DINNER

My family just left and S/n managed to convince Asa to take her to work sometime so she can see the bugs there. Asa had been more open and talkative and it was nice to see him so relaxed. I can definitely tell that my father was suspicious about this change of behavior, but the rest of the family didn’t care and took the change happily. It was time to wind down for the night, but I felt Asa needed a treat for being so good. I walk up behind Asa as he brushes his teeth and wraps my arms around his waist, placing my head on his shoulder. 

“You need something.” 

“No.” I say as I slowly slide my hand down his torso and into his pants.

“Please don’t tease.”

“Since you asked so nicely, I won’t, but how about you get out of these clothes and I give you a reward?”

 I pull away from Asa and walk back into the bedroom. I go over to the trunk where we keep our toys and get a collar out. I turn around to see Asa coming out of the bathroom naked, like I asked. He’s always a good boy. 

“Come here, love.” Asa walks off to me, his cock swaying slightly. I couldn’t help put lick my lips. He always looks so delicious. Once he was in reach, I pull him in. I place the collar around his neck and lock it into place. 

“Since you did so well at dinner, you get to decide your reward, so what will it be?”

“Can we cuddle and could you also play with me?”

“Aww, you're so cute. Of course.” I gently lead Asa to the bed. 

“Get comfortable, love.” While Asa gets comfortable, I strip off my clothes. Joining Asa in bed, I pull the man into me. I slither my hand down to Asa’s cock and slowly start to tug on it.

“Come on, let me hear those pretty little noises. You know how much I like them. “

“Please.”

“Please what?”

“Please, sir, make me cum.”

“Oh, I will just have patience.” I speed up my pace and start to mark Asa’s neck. Asa’s moans filling the room. Another thing I loved about Asa is that when we are in the bedroom, he sings like a canary. His sounds are just so addicting. I made him sing and sing as I jerk him off. It only took 5 minutes max of me playing with him for him to come to his high. 

“Please, I’m close, sir. Let me cum.”

“Aww love, go ahead, cum for me. Cum for your sir.”

[kentjohnson91]

Today we are going to discuss trades/ free agency signings that have happened this offseason and how and why they made me upset:

Nikita Zadorov: Vancouver➡️Boston (free agency)

As a Bruins fan SO EXCITED

As a fan of chaos i’m sad

Him and Myers reeking havoc on the ice together was so iconic for the short time we were blessed by it😔

Nick Blankenburg: Columbus➡️Nashville (free agency)

This was like one of very few moves i have not approved of by Mr Don Waddell

He was cooking from the start and then this happened

Like Ik he was probs gonna be in the AHL a lot but like for an undrafted defenseman he is good

He’s like 5’9” (more like 5’8 stop lying Nick) and runs around throwing hits on 6’3 or bigger guys

He’s my favorite little man and i want him back. He rounded out the Michigan group on Columbus too well.

Kevin Bahl: New Jersey➡️Calgary (trade)

Ik i say “im not a devils fan i just love him” about like half their team but like i swear its true

I need everyone to acknowledge the childhood friends to NHL teammates arc of him and the Hughes brothers and that is heartbreaking that it is no more

Also i understand it was an underpay for Markstrom but that will always happen for goalies (see Ullmark trade) so all the Devils fans acting like it was a good thing he was gone and not appreciating the time he put in there or the calgary fans mad they got him and hating him already made me wanna cry

Like GIVE HIM A CHANCE

also he just had a baby right before the trade and that means none of his NJD teammates get to see the baby and that will make me bawl (hehe bawl - bahl) like a baby no joke

John Marino: New Jersey➡️Utah (trade)

TOM FITZGERALD WHEN I GET YOU

This poor man who tends to look like a kicked puppy for no reason seemed so happy there

with Jack, Luke, Nico, Kevin, Curtis, Nate like cmon why would you do this to me

Will never cope with whatever the fuck was goin on with him and Luke honestly

WHY UTAH

Ryan McLeod: Edmonton➡️Buffalo (trade)

this was another one like the Kevin one where the fans pissed me off instantly

“the other guy was such a good prospect he was gonna develop more and play for buffalo”

i’m gonna hold your hand when i tell you that McLeod is 24 (almost 25) and 25 year olds can STILL DEVELOP TOO THIS SHIT SHOULD NOT BE NEWS HELLO???

also people who started using what his brother did as an excuse to not want him

while no one knows for sure, randomly assuming with no real reason that he had any knowledge of his brothers part in the 2018 Team Canada Scandal is so unfair honestly

and ALSO they separated him from his pookie (Bouchard) and his gay dads (Leon and Connor)

Not coping

Linus Ullmark: Boston➡️Ottawa (trade)

where do i even begin

no more hugs

no more feeding each other during post game interviews

no more eating cinnamon buns that Ullys wife made them together

no being Matt Poitras dads together

I ofc understand from the business side but it doesn’t make it hurt less

Jake Debrusk: Boston➡️Vancouver (free agency)

This one stung

we all knew it was coming but like

he’s been here his whole career

him and McAvoy were the ultimate duo

scored their first goals on the same night

if anyone saw Charlie McAvoys post about him and Grizz just know i cried for hours over that shit

Matt Grzelcyk: Boston➡️Pittsburgh (free agency)

another one that hurt a lot

once again see charlie mcavoys post

THE ONES OF THEM FROM COLLEGE TOGETHER

ENOUGH CHUCK

also no more amazing interviews with Mr Grzelcyk (Matt’s dad)

He worked in the Garden forever so Matt LITERALLY LEARNED TO SKATE THERE

HOMETOWN HERO AND A HALF

HEARTBROKEN

Anyways if i think of more im forgetting or something else happens before camp ill make another post but anyways

[maochira]

the dads coming back home and then smelling something burnt in the kitchen and it’s just the reader’s failed attempt to make dinner bc they wanted their dads to rest. 🐈‍⬛

Do the Blue Lock dads ever get a break from their kid's chaos? 😭

Characters: Ego, Noa, Chris, Lavinho, Snuffy

Requests open! - masterlist - dad!Ego masterlist

Tags: gn!reader, single father!character

The moment Ego walks into the kitchen, you can see the disappointment on his face. "What in the... What did you do now?" He looks at you with a strict expression. "I got hungry," You answer and look at the pan with the burnt food in it, "But I think I left it on there a little too long." - "A little?" Ego points at the pan. "That's literally completely burnt. How did you even manage to do that?" He's getting more and more frustrated each moment and now starts counting all the things that could have gone wrong and how you could have caused a fire if you weren't careful enough. "...I'm sorry," You apologize when your father is done scolding you, "I just didn't want you to have any extra work because of me." Ego is silent for a moment. He's about to scold you more because you still ended up causing extra dishes to clean up, but seeing how sorry you are makes him soften up a little. "It's okay, I'm not mad. Just... disappointed. And worried."

As soon as Noa gets home, he panics because all he smells is smoke and he's afraid a fire has started. He calls for you and soon finds you in the kitchen where you're opening a window and about to throw some burnt food into the trashcan. "Don't tell me you burnt your food again." Noa sighs and looks around the kitchen, only to see the mess you caused there. "Okay, I won't tell you." You laugh nervously, hoping your father isn't mad at what you did. From his facial expression, it's hard to figure out what he's thinking and feeling right now, but you can already imagine that he's disappointed. "Didn't I tell you last week to be more careful?" Noa collects the dirty kitchen utensils laying around and puts them into the sink, "Listen, I'm tired and I-" - "That's why I tried to cook." - "Huh?" Noa turns his gaze back to you. "You do so much already, so I thought... I could make dinner before you get home." Your father's disappointment vanishes quickly and is replaced by a little bit of pride. "That's really nice of you. But you know you don't have to do that, right? I'm your father so even when I'm tired I'll still take care of you."

When Chris enters the house and smells smoke, he goes into panic mode immediately. He's so afraid a small fire started somewhere and he's even more afraid that you might be hurt. He starts calling your name and you can hear the worry in his voice. When Chris finds you in the kitchen and realizes you're fine, he immediately runs up to you and pulls you into a hug. "Oh my... You're fine. Thank god. I was afraid you might have gotten hurt." The worry in his voice is still prominent as his embrace tightens to the point where you can barely breathe. "Dad- I need air-" Chris quickly lets you go and it's only at this moment when you notice the tears in his eyes. He was this worried about you. He doesn't care about the mess you caused in the kitchen and neither does he care about the burnt food on the stove. He really just cares about you being okay. "Don't scare me like that ever again, okay?" Chris looks right into your eyes and tries to sound strict, but he's too much of a soft dad for that.

Lavinho is surprised by the smell in the house, but he quickly figures out it's just caused by you burning food. Usually, Lavinho isn't strict at all, but when he enters the kitchen he has the most serious face you've ever seen on him. "Dad I swear I-" - "What did I tell you about being in the kitchen all on your own?" Lavinho's voice is stern as he walks closer to you. You knew you'd get scolded to some extent, but your father's usual way of doing that still has some sense of lightheartedness and humour. It's so out of character for him to act and sound so strict. And just as you're about to answer again, Lavinho breaks that facade and starts laughing. "Oh come on, did you seriously think I was mad at you?" - "You really seemed like it..." - "I could never be mad at you! Now come here," Your father quickly pulls you into a hug and pats your back. "But I still meant what I said. You're not experienced enough to cook all on your own yet, alright?" - "I know dad, I'm sorry." Lavinho pulls away from the hug and looks at you, this time with an expression that's much more usual for him. "Now let's get this mess cleaned up and then we'll cook something together, alright?"

This isn't the first time you've burnt your food this week, so Snuffy isn't surprised about being met with the smell of something burnt when he returns home. He knows you're probably already cleaning up anyways, so he just calls out for you to let you know he's back home. A few minutes later, he enters the kitchen, where he sees you trying to scrape off burnt bits of food from a pan. "You need some help with that?" Snuffy chuckles and wants to take it out of your hands, but you refuse to let him. "No, it's alright, I'll do it," You insist and continue what you've started, "I don't wanna cause any extra work for you, you know..." A sense of pride fills Snuffy after you say that. "Don't worry about that, it's my job to care for you, you know?" - "Yes, but I still want to do at least something. Also, I caused uh..." You pause for a moment to look around the kitchen, "I caused this mess. I'm cleaning it." Snuffy just stands there for a bit while you continue cleaning the mess you've caused. He wants to help you, but he knows you wouldn't let him. And as he watches you, he gets another idea. "Hey kid, how about we order some food instead of cooking again and causing more dishes to clean?"

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[heavyhitterheaux]

Maybe axel asking jack for relationship advice

AN: Axel is sixteen in this

Jack was in the kitchen on the hunt for the sweet potato pies that you had made and hid from him last weekend when Axel walked into the kitchen and called out for him.

“Dad?”

“Hmm?” Was all he answered as he turned around and thought about the next possible hiding spot for the pies.

“Um…” Axel started to say and instantly got quiet, making Jack stop his task of finding the pies and looking over at him.

“Everything okay?” He asked and Axel simply shrugged.

“I need advice.” Axel quietly said and a million things started to run through Jack’s mind.

“About what?” He asked as he took a seat on the island and Axel sat across from him. 

“So there’s this girl…” Axel started to say, but Jack immediately put his hand up to stop him.

“Before we go any further, there better NOT be any pregnancy caused by my second born.”

“NO! I’m not stupid! I know you two will kill me!”

“Okay, now that we got that out of the way, continue. What about this girl?”

“I like her, but I don’t know if she likes me back or even notices me for that matter. How did you get mom to notice you?”

“Taking note of what her interests were and letting her know that they were important to me too. For example, I definitely think that if your mother wasn’t famous that she would work for NASA because of how much she loves space. That’s where Nova’s name came from. And she did the same thing for me, we were around each other so much and spent so much time together because of that. Yes, her looks are a plus, but if she doesn’t have the personality to go with it then what’s the point? She needs to be a good person on the inside too.”

“And that’s when you bought her that telescope? And named a star after her?”

“Mm hmm, took me four months to save up my allowance to buy it for her and she still has it laying around here somewhere.”

It was quiet for a few seconds before Jack spoke up again.

“But even when we were at odds before the three of you were born, my love for her didn’t waver. Yes, I was mad at her and let a lot of things slide that I shouldn’t have, and she still forgave me because of the type of person that she is. I definitely didn’t think I deserved another chance and had it made up in my mind that she was going to divorce me and was just literally waiting for her to say it. I don’t ever take having her in my life or the six of you for granted because it definitely could have gone another way.”

“I… see how you look at her when she isn’t paying attention and I want to be able to do that one day. And I noticed that you two never argue in front of us.”

“I have the utmost respect for her and I never want a thought that I don’t love her or care about her to cross her mind because that couldn’t be further from the truth. She’s literally my entire world and it got a little bigger when she had all of you. We want for you all to have an example of what a healthy marriage looks like.” Jack said, being completely honest. Anything that you needed or wanted no matter how big or small, he would do it for you. 

"The pies are behind the cheesecake on the bottom shelf in the back left corner by the way. I won't tell mom I said anything."

"You have officially won my favorite child of the day award."

Your laughter filled the kitchen as you were now trying to cook dinner as Jack was behind you. He had told you that he was coming to help you, but instead he had been the test taster and was stealing bites of food every few minutes.

“Jackman! If you don’t quit we won’t have any food left!”

“But I’m starving!”

“How are you starving and you’ve been stuffing your face for close to an hour?!” You asked as he reached over to take another bite of food and you slapped his hand away.

“It’s almost finished, be patient!” You scolded and all you got in response as he kissed your cheek and you couldn’t help but to smile.

Axel was standing in the doorway of the kitchen and simply admired his parents from afar as Jack had now taken your hand and the two of you were dancing around the kitchen and waiting for the food to finish.

And he took note of how Jack was looking at you when you didn’t notice knowing that was something that he wanted to have one day.

[lunajay33]

Destiny Part.2🐺

Summary: Paul has just shifted to his new life as a wolf and feels empty without his imprint hoping he finds her soon, y/n just moved to forks to live with her dad and sister Bella and decides to go to the bone fire to make new friends

Part.1

The fire was slowly dying down and I was growing tired but I didn’t want to leave Paul

“Y/n come on we’re going home now” she said as she stood up, she always just ordered me around

“But I don’t want…” but she interrupted me

“No we’re going now let’s go” everyone went silent and I felt extremely embarrassed

I stood up and looked down at Paul

“I’ll see you later right?”

“Ya of course we are always at the beach so come by anytime, I’d love to see you again” he said making me smile, I felt like a little girl again with a huge crush

“Y/n I’ll leave without you” she yelled as she was getting in her truck

“Thank you everyone for having us!” I said respectfully as I hurried to the truck

Paul POV~

She was so beautiful and so kind, she is perfect to me, even when we were younger and I’d see her play with the others I always thought she was cute

“Dude did you imprint on her?” Embry asked

“I think I did” I’ve never felt this calm before

“Congrats Paul, she’s a good one, but I know she’s shy so don’t scare her, be patient with her” billy said

“I will, I promise”

Y/n POV~

I got out of the truck and walked up the stairs to the house

“What was all that about back there?” Bella asked seeming mad

“What do you mean?” I opened the door stepping into the warm feeling of home, the smell of dads mediocre cooking

“With Paul you were both all over each other” she followed me into the kitchen where dad was

“What’s the big deal we were just talking”

“Woah what’s going on girls?”

“Why don’t you tell him y/n” bella exclaimed

“Bella I don’t know what’s your problem I was just talking to Paul what’s the big deal he’s nice to me” I said feeling like she was taking things out on me

“Bella, Paul’s a fine kid what’s the problem, she went to make more friends anyways” dad said stepping in for me, knowing how this stuff overwhelmed me

“I don’t want her near him”

“You can’t tell me what to do, I’m sick of you bossing me around, I can have my own life too I hate having to live around what you want” I yelled as I ran up to my room

First she embarrassed me infront of everyone at the bonfire and now she’s mad at me for talking to Paul, I’m sick of her it’s not my fault her boyfriend left, now we were left with her awful attitude

I fell asleep crying, waking up with red and puffy eyes, I walked to the bathroom and threw my hair up into a ponytail and washed my face

It was still pretty early so I quietly left the house and getting on my motorbike, dad couldn’t afford to get me a truck like Bella but I didn’t mind

I drove down to the La push beach just wanting to get away from the house, she wouldn’t let this go and I knew it so it’s best to stay away from her

I wasn’t paying attention and lost my balance, skidding across the ground

I screamed out in pain feeling my skin rip across the ground, I laid there trying to focus and calm down

I moved my arms and legs, I don’t think anything was broken but I was still in intense pain, I slowly and painfully got up, picking up my bike trying to kick start it, thankfully it still worked

I decided to drive to Emily’s house since she was like an aunt to me, she always made me feel better when I’d come and visit

I jumped off my bike, removing my helmet and slowly making my way up the stairs when I heard laughter coming from the field, I looked over to see all the boys running out of the woods shirtless, I spotted Paul and bursted into a blush but then he saw me and ran up to me

“Oh my god what happened to you” he said as he looked over all my cuts and burns

“I…I fell off my bike” I said looking down

“Come on I’ll fix you up” he said as he placed his hand on my lower back, leading me into the house

“Here sit down and I’ll be back with the first aid kit” he said as he hurried up the stairs

“Oh dear are you okay?” Emily asked as she saw me in her couch

“Dont worry I’m okay” she placed a glass of water infront of me

Paul came back and sat infront of me between my legs

“How’d you fall?” He asked as he cleaned my cuts

“It’s nothing”

“You can trust me, I’ll always be here for you” he said making me smile

“It’s bella she always tries to tell me what to do, she got mad at me last night so I just lost focus and fell when I was driving”

“What was she mad about? She seemed mad when you were leaving last night too”

“She gets like that, she likes to boss me around but she was mad because…..because I was with you, I don’t know why though you’re so nice”

“I’m sorry, I hate seeing you like this, I just want you happy, can I make you feel better in anyway?” He asked as he finished patching me up

“Just stay with me”

Part.3<-

[lianobody]

Yandere platonic hashiras.

When you were born your mom taught you were the most precious thing on earth until the baby daddy walked in the room screaming “I don’t want this baby I’m leaving you she’s an accident!” Your mom cried and she started to grow hate towards you. Over the past 9 years your mom treated you like shit, you had to learn how to cook for yourself and you needed to let her abuse you but otherwise she treated you like a ghost. You had a shitty life and you were only 9 but yet you still loved your mom. One day at night while she was abusing you a mysterious person came in. They had weird features like a horn. The person was so fast for your eyes you backed away in a corner even though your mom told you to sit still when she’s abusing you. Your mom looked at you furious and she was about to open her mouth until..! The mysterious person killed your mom and one shotted her! You backed away more in the corner but you tripped and started to cry. The mysterious person chuckled until.

2 people a boy with black hair and a mask and a girl with pink to green hair was running to your mom’s house the boy killed the demon when he arrived and the girl came up to you saying “was that your mom?” You nodded crying. The girl said. “my name is Mitsuri kanroji and the guy with the snake is Obanai iguro” you looked at her with tears in your eyes. Both Mitsuri and Obanai were looking at you. You didn’t say anything that only caused Mitsuri to get worried and obanai to get mad you weren’t listening to Mitsuri. Obanai said “Talk back to her you should respect your elders” You sobbed wiping your tears saying “M-my m-mom a-abused me. I-I still miss her” both Obanai and Mitsuri were shocked. Obanai started to get flashbacks from his past. Mitsuri told Obanai “We can’t just leave this child alone! It will be to cruel!” Obanai went up to her and patted her shoulder saying “let’s adopt her as her parents” both you and Mitsuri were shocked but after a few seconds Mitsuri nodded saying “Ok Obanai I agree but we need to make sure we protect her she’s to innocent for this world. Let’s raise her as a demon slayer as Soon as we go back” Obanai nodded but he turned to you asking you “whats is your name… s-sw-sweetheart” Mitsuri likes Obanai was so sweet to you. M-my nam-name is [Name] sir! Obanai nodded and went up to your face. “Don’t call me sir call me dad.” You nodded. Mitsuri picked you up and carried you all the way back but you and the other 2 didn’t notice your emotions were slowly draining away.

When you 3 arrived at Obanai’s estate Obanai said “Oh I forgot to introduce you to my snake his name is Kaburamaru. Your emotionless self went to pet him and he enjoyed it. Obanai smiled thru his mask but you and Mitsuri obviously didn’t notice. Mitsuri excused herself before she spoke “I love your relationship with our daughter but we should train her now!’’ Obanai agreed with her statement “We should let her use a real sword” Mitsuri had a worried about expression while you had a emotionless one. Obanai carried you. You were really light as you barley eaten this week because they was no food in your house. Obanai looked at Mitsuri and said “I have a spare one let’s train her.”

They trained you, you did final selection and 2 years passed on and you 11 now.

Mitsuri held Obanai’s hand causing him to blush “can we introduce our daughter to the other hashira please? They would love to see her” Obanai couldn’t refuse to her in his state right now he nodded blushing. While you were at the the area where all the hashira were Gyomei sensed your presence. I sense another. All the hashira took there swords out because it was still night until they saw you. They were confused why Obanai and Mitsuri had a child with them and why Obanai was carrying you as he wasn’t really fond with kids. Shinobu asked with a smile on her face. “now now Mitsuri why do you have a child with you and there eyes are without spark~” Mitsuri screamed excited and said “THIS IS ME AND OBANAI’S DAUGHTERS” They had a shocked expression. All the hashira taught Mitsuri and Obanai did the deed. Gyomei said “I am happy you guys have an beautiful child by there presence they are 11.” All the hashira calm down because Mitsuri wouldn’t get pregnant at that young age right? Obanai said “I know what all of you guys are thinking.. she’s adopted don’t worry.” And the hashira nodded in agreement they didn’t want to hang out with you that much until your charm came out. All the hashira rubs there eye and they suddenly want to protect you from all the danger hidden around the world. Muichiro came up to you first asking “C-can I be your b-big brother?” You always wanted to have an another sibling so you nodded with barley any emotions. Giyuu saw your emotionless eyes and didn’t want you to end like him. “I-I want to be your uncle” nodded and he smirked a bit. Gyomei started to cry and say “I would like to be your grandpa and take care of you” you were confused but you said “Ok..” not really caring.. Mitsuri and Obanai both knew they are becoming Protective over you in a bad way and they liked that so Mitsuri screamed happily “All the hashira can be [Name]’s family member. All the hashira smiles and muichiro carried you and kisses your forehead.

After that day you barley go on mission without another hashira they can’t bare to let you out if there sight.. They need you. They want to feel more happy.

Headcannons.

- Uncle Sanemi who kills any demon before they can’t touch you and pats your head a lot telling you compliments but says “Don’t go to tomioka your already emotionless”

- Uncle Giyuu who smiles around you and and tries to be the best uncle. He Carries you to quiet places so you guys can be alone with no distractions. You make stuff for him even though it’s not the best he still keeps it.

- Uncle Rengoku who always tries to cheer you up. You never have a smile on your face and it bothers him a lot he always gives you his food and you eat it very slowly that it annoys him so he force feeds you.

- Aunty Shinobu who is teasing you 21/100 times how your gonna end up like Tomioka but still loves you and shows her loves by putting poison in your food or drinks when you disobey her commands or orders <3 or she gives you flower crowns but you end them eating them because in your old house when you didn’t have any food you ate flowers.

- Uncle Tengen who gives you expensive jewelry and if you don’t wear it he will Force them on you and call you “My flashy niece” And then if you don’t wear his expensive gifts for the third time in the row he will punish you. But in a flashy way.

- Grandpa Gyomei who loves to carry you he pats you on the head a lot of the times and you enjoy it but you never show it, you can’t show love. You mostly sleep on him as a sign of affection and he barley moves until you wake up.

- Big brother Muichiro who death glares other members of the corps if they try to talk to his beloved younger sister. Somehow he remembers you. He punishes you if you do something he doesn’t like. He likes it when you wear matching outfits! You wearing a kimono and him wearing a yukuta. Don’t worry it’s Mitsuri’s Money!

- Mom Mitsuri who hates it when you ask to go to your mom grave she can’t help to punish you! She hates it really! But you said something she despises.. After the punishes she says sorry to you and buys you anything you want!

- Dad Obanai who wants you to quit to ur job as a demon slayer as your only 11 but he won’t tell you about it. You remind him of him when he was younger. He spoils you a lot as your his and Mitsuri’s tsuguko. You see him for 1 week then you go to Mitsuri’s House house for a week. He doesn’t want Tomioka’s attitude rubbing on you so he wants you to stay away from him.