#my dad got me fall out boy tickets!!!!!!!!

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

it's been your birthday??!!!! BELOVED HAPPY BIRTHDAY i hope you've had the most wonderful time full of love and laughter 🥰💕🌷i think you're wonderful and incredible and i hope your day has matched up to that MWAH

ABFSFJS THANK YOU OLA YOU'RE SO SWEET 😭😭😭😭😭😭💖💖💖💖💖 I LOVE YOU!!!!

[incorrectbatfam]

The batfam as people I've encountered at concerts

Dick: the guy who brought a bunch of dollar store beach balls to toss into the crowd

Jason: the dude who shoved his way to the front of the pit just to flip off the security guards

Tim: the guy who "accidentally" spilled his drink on someone wearing a Republican shirt at a Green Day show

Damian: the little kid who really shouldn't have been there

Duke: the substitute guitarist who was just some mildly talented dude they picked from the audience

Cullen: Billie Joe Armstrong's Gen Z doppleganger

Stephanie: the girl that crowdsurfed five times in a row

Cassandra: the lady who bit someone in the armpit

Barbara: the woman whose friend bailed so she brought her Uber driver

Harper: whoever gave me a black eye while moshing

Carrie: the girl who brought a K-pop light stick to My Chemical Romance

Kate: the two 50-year-old roadies who have been to every Killers concert

Helena: the woman who dressed like the dancer in the music video for Helena by My Chemical Romance

Luke: the guy who somehow caught 3 drumsticks (??)

Bette: the two girls who drove 4 hours to see Fall Out Boy's opening act and left before Fall Out Boy came on

Alfred: New Found Glory. I met the band. It was dope

Selina: the lady who got in with a fake ticket

Bruce: the opening act's dad

[aliaology]

NEW JERSEY RED

summary: reader finds herself falling for the new jersey devil’s center even if her heart is supposed to lie with the new york rangers.

pairings: jack hughes x fem!reader

warnings: none..? just yn getting sappy as hell bc she fell for jack!! use of ‘daddy’ but not in a sexual way.

lowercase intended.

BASED ON “tennessee orange” by megan moroney

living in new jersey wasn’t much of a difference than living in new york, at least, not to you. at times it just felt less chaotic, in a way that made you miss the chaotic streets of nyc. but moving to new jersey to become a media manager for the new jersey devils was a pro and a con.

growing up in new york city, meant you and your family were very big rangers fans. your father had seasonal tickets, every year. you went to every game with him that you could.

when your family heard you now worked for the new jersey devils, it felt like hell broke loose. working for the.. enemy? now thats foul play, you just betrayed your home team! but you didn’t regret it.

see, there was this boy. specifically number 86, a center for the new jersey devils. jack hughes. he was cute, scratch that— he was hot. you, like many other girls, fell right at his feet. of course you didn’t out right do so or show that.

but he as well— fell hard for you, maybe even harder.

not only did you work for the ‘enemy’ but now you were fraternizing with one?

you had the day off, sitting at your now shared apartment with your current boyfriend of nine months. you didn’t tell your family about him, he didn’t tell his about you. the media had no idea that the jack hughes had a girlfriend either.

your thumb hovers over the call button. the stool under you creaked as you shifted your weight. you clicked the bright green button.

it rang until it didn’t, “hello?” the sound of your mother’s voice filled the room.

“hi mama.” you spoke gently. “ive got some news for you” you told.

“finally! i havent heard from you in so long sweet girl, please tell me everything!” you could hear her smile from the other end of the phone.

you smile. “just don’t tell daddy, okay? he’ll blow a fuse.” you chuckle.

your fingers tap against the counter as you anxiously listen to her laugh. “okay, sweetie. are you okay?”

“dont worry— im doing okay. listen— i know you raised me to know right from wrong, it aint what you think, promise.” you start.

“honey, you’re kind of scaring me.” your mother nervously chuckles.

“listen, okay? i um— i never thought i’d honestly see this day, seeing how scared i was with my past relationships—“ you cut yourself off with a nervous laugh.

“i met somebody.” you told. you heard a quiet gasp on her end.

“really? honey thats amazing! tell me about him— about your relationship.”

you let out a breath. “hes got blue eyes, the prettiest eyes ive ever seen, mama. hes so good to me too, he always holds the door open, he never makes me cry. there has never been a moment where he’s made me upset.”

“oh honey..” she trailed off, sounding happy.

“im not done, mama. last weekend he took me to michigan, where his family lives. we watched a football game, a college one. his brothers used to go there. he let me wear his cap that has been on his dash forever— mama i swear i fell even more for him under those stadium lights. hes perfect.”

“but..” you trailed off.

“but? there’s a but? honey… whats wrong?” your mother sounded concerned.

“mama, you cannot tell daddy— he’s gonna think its a sin. but mama hes a player on the new jersey devils— but forgive me, i really like him, mom. hell, im learning how to golf for him mama. hes perfect, hes got a smile, mama his smile is killer. ive never seen one like it.”

“honey… you’re dad is right here, listening.” you clamped your mouth shut. just your luck.

“does he make you happy?” you heard your father ask.

“yes he does, daddy. i know hes a devil but god you would love him! i know he aint where we are from, but he feels like home. hes got me doing things ive never done. he makes my stomach burst into butterflies, he makes me blush, he makes me feel loved.” you explained.

“and you know i still want the rangers to win, daddy” you told.

you heard him chuckle. “as long as he makes you happy, sweetheart.”

you grin. you stay on the call for what felt like hours, talking about jack. when you finally end it, you feel arms wrap around your shoulders and your chest. a kiss is pressed to your temple.

“i hope you know how much i love you” jack mumbled, trailing small kisses from your forehead to your cheek and your jaw.

“and just so you know, you look better in new jersey red than new york blue.”

i #hope this wasnt shit LMAO first time posting on tumblr 😻🤘

[dearheartdont]

Fic snippet, Charles backstory : "At least twice a year Charles and his mum packed their cases and caught a train to Birmingham to visit relatives, leaving his dad behind with a freezer full of carefully labelled Tupperware."

Note: Canon-typical mentions of abuse. Use of a racial term now understood as offensive.

Charles’ mum never tried to leave his dad. Not when he smashed her Ashe Bhosle records. Not when his dad used a belt on Charles for the first time. Not even when a neighbour called the police after hearing an argument through the walls (is it an argument if there’s only one voice shouting? His mum had learned to hold her tongue and at thirteen Charles knew how to brace for a blow). The WPC turned up at the door the day after, asked Charles’ mother questions in an even voice, and left alone after finishing the tea his Mum served on their best bone china.

But at least twice a year she and Charles packed their cases and caught a train to Birmingham, leaving his dad behind with a freezer full of carefully labelled Tupperware.

---

His auntie’s home in Birmingham was packed and lively. His auntie, uncle and his two cousins, Priti and Hari, all in an end of terrace house. There was a constant hum of noise there– Hari playing ska records on his record player from his bedroom; the clatter of pots and pans from the kitchen where his mum and auntie would congregate; the stamp of Priti’s feet up and down the stairs as she rushed around getting ready to meet friends.

His mother had a voice in her sister’s house. Charles woke to the sound of her and his auntie talking each morning. She called Charles beta here. At home he only remembers her calling him that once. Charles had been very small and full of chicken pox. His mum had sat on the floor next to his bed to stop him scratching, her hand smoothing though his sweat-soaked hair. She’d sang to Charles to lull him to sleep. In Birmingham, she sang every day.

---

When Charles grew enough not to be a complete liability on the cricket pitch, Hari took him along to play with his friends.

“I’ve got a friend like you who’ll be there. Aidan,” Hari said as they cut through the back streets to the playing fields.

Aidan wasn’t like Charles in appearance or manner. He was broad chested, with dark, tightly curled hair that showed a reddish tint when the sun hit it. He cuffed his trousers like Hari did, and his Docs were brightly shined. His short-sleeved shirt was a maroon and white check, his braces thin and black. He looked sharp. He wasn’t like Charles at all, except that he was half-caste too.

“Jamaican dad, Irish mum,” Aidan said, offhand, when they were introduced. “Saves you asking later. Hari always get it the wrong way round.”

“Indian mum, English dad.” Charles replied, and then tagged on, “I’m Charles.” Aidan smiled then, like they’d just shared a joke.

“He can be on my team,” Aidan told Hari, and grabbed Charles’ shoulder to guide him to where there was a gap in the team’s fielding cover.

As Hari walked over to the other team by the stumps he shouted, “Don’t show me up,” to Charles’ back.

“He says that like he’s any cop himself,” Aidan muttered into Charles’ ear, and told him the story of Hari falling into the wicket just the week before.

At the end of that week Charles left with a ska mixtape from Aidan, and two Fred Perry polos that Hari had outgrown.

---

At 15, his older cousin, Priti, snuck Charles out with her to a daytimer.

In the queue, Priti swiped and smudged kohl under Charles’ eyes. “Gotta hide that baby face,” she said and pinched his cheeks. She made him promise, yet again, that he’d keep his gob shut about the daytimer from his mum, her parents and most especially Hari. “He’s such a grass,” Priti said. He could already hear the hum of music leaking out from inside the converted warehouse.

He let out a huff of breath when they got past the bouncer and the ticket table, and Priti laughed. “If your parents could see you, such a naughty boy!”

Priti’s friends ran to meet her and pulled her onto the dancefloor to dance in a swirl of long hair and fruity body mist. Charles waved off their beckoning hands and watched the dancefloor heave with bodies. The music was a strange mix of familiar and unfamiliar: bouncing synths with Indian strings overlaid, all underpinned by the shifting rhythms of dhol drums. The vocals singing over the top sounded joyful and yearning by turns.

By the end of the afternoon, Charles had joined Priti and her friends on the dancefloor where they taught him dance moves, taking the piss at every misstep he made, but cheering him on when a girl asked him to dance with her.

When Charles broke away to visit the loos he looked at himself in the mirror. His curly hair was frizzy with sweat, his eyes dark with the smudged kohl. He looked different. He didn’t look tougher, or more like his cousins. But maybe, sweaty and happy with his eyes traced in eyeliner, he looked more like himself.

On the way home, Priti sent Charles into the chippy with a fiver while she changed and scrubbed off her make up in the public toilets. They unwrapped the newspaper when she finally emerged and walked slowly back to the house, eating. The vinegar the chips were doused in stung Charles’ sinuses. At the top of the street, Priti stopped and rubbed a screwed-up hanky across Charles’ cheek. “I’m not explaining how you got that lipstick on you,” she said.

She left the kohl alone.

---

Charles says the food he misses is spaghetti. But sometimes he thinks about the smell of vinegar rising from fish and chips and being fed dhal on a roti by kind hands.

---

(Notes: I chose Birmingham as the home of Charles’ relatives as it’s a multicultural city with an established East Asian population. It was also a hub for the English ska scene.

Ashe Bhosle – famous playback singer for Bollywood movies.

WPC – woman police constable

Daytimer – a rave that played bhangra music. Held during the daytime so that British South Asian kids could go without parental knowledge.)

[scrollonso]

First Kiss (Break 1)

A strollonso AU where 18 year old rookie Lance Stroll falls helplessly in love with the notoriously mean world champion. (1.2k words, no warnings) [@v3lnys] {filler chapter? I just felt like Lance and Nando getting closer would make more sense if they spent break together + Mark}

last part - masterlist - next part

They had two weeks off and Lance had absolutely no plans, Nico was on vacation with his family to god knows where, Fernando had probably already arrived in Australia, and Lance didn't have any other friends on the paddock to worry about.

He had thought about going back to Canada but he just ended up back at his house in Switzerland. Spring had started by the time he got home so it wasn't like he could distract himself with snowboarding so he just ended up at home on his couch for the past five days.

Being alone was nice, but a part of him missed Fernando, oddly enough. They'd only ever hung out on the paddock but Lance had grown to look forward to the time they spent together, whether it was actually sitting and talking or just exchanging glances while in the middle of interviews.

As if it was fate, his phone began to rang. It was an unknown number but he figured it might be important, his dad had a history of calling him from random places just to check up on him, as if the 18 year old hadn't been left alone before.

"Hello?" He said, holding his (very small) phone to his ear

"Lancito, I am so glad you answered!" a voice on the other end spoke, a very familiar voice

"Nando?" Lance questioned "How did you get my number?"

"Is not important!" The Spaniard said, brushing off the question "Lancito, are you busy? If you are, cancel, come to Australia."

"No, I'm not busy." Lance responded, wondering if Fernando was really inviting him to Australia, wasn't he with Mark? Wouldn't that be awkward? "Is something important happening in Australia?"

"Si, You are coming, is important."

"Nando, I-" The younger boy laughed, not being able to wipe the smile off his face just from hearing the other mans voice "Sure, I'll come."

"Perfect, I'll send you the information, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, okay Nando"

"Bye, Lancito! Have a safe flight"

And with that the call ended and Lance wasted no time in buying the tickets to Australia (idk how people bought plane tickets in 2006...)

Lance got off the plane, trying to pat down the hair he could feel sticking up, he always slept on long flights and this one was no acception. It was weird being in Australia a week before he had to but he wasn't going to turn down Fernando is he wanted Lance there so bad, for whatever reason.

It was a Sunday morning and the airport was surprisingly busy, he eventually found his way out and got a taxi headed towards the address Fernando had texted him

"Just landed, headed your way now!!"

Lance stared at the screen before sending the message, just now wondering why exactly he was there, he wasn't blind to the media, especially when he was constantly being interviewed and asked questions fans were dying to know, he had heard the rumours, people saying Fernando was only talking to him to scare him, he was going to embarrass him, he had some ulterior motive, Lance hoped it wasn't true but now that he was blindly following Fernandos orders in another country while he was visiting his friend (who's seat he took) a part of him started to wonder if Fernando was planning something. He hit send.

They'd hadn't texted much, just Fernando sending him the information he needed and Lance thanking him before he got on the plane and turned off his phone, he wasn't too fond of it anyways.

"I am glad you made it"

"Is exciting"

"Tell the driver to go faster"

Lance smiled at his phone, excited to see the Spaniard again, even though he saw him not even a week ago.

"I shouldn't break the law yet"

"I just got here and my dad isn't here to bail me out!"

"I will do it, no worries Lancito"

He shook his head at the text, turning off his phone and waiting to arrive, not too far away from the location

He stepped out of the car, paying the taxi fare then walking up to the house, hesitating to knock. Maybe texting would be better? Or calling? Or anything besides knocking? Before he even had the chance to decide the door opened, revealing a slightly-taller-than-him Mark Webber and Fernando standing by his side, the two closer than he thought they would be

"Lance, welcome, so sorry about making you come so randomly." Mark spoke first, stepping back to invite Lance in

"It's no problem, I wasn't doing anything anyway" Lance smiled as he walked into the house, scanning what he could see

"I told you Lancito didn't mind" Fernando said to Mark, hitting his arm slightly "Is good to make sure you two get along before people start to speculate, ay?" Fernando smiled at Mark then at Lance, reaching up to flatten the hair still sticking up on his head

Lance wasn't sure why he was surprised Fernando was still calling him his nickname, he didn't know why he expected anything to change with Mark around, Fernando seemed the same, if anything he seemed happier around Mark. It made him feel bad, he was the reason Mark lost his seat, the reason Fernando's friend was no longer on the paddock, the reason Fernando had to settle for him instead.

"Well, Lance, I don't mind that you took my seat" Mark laughed, closing the door before putting an arm around Lance's shoulder "I was done with travelling all the time anyway, so don't beat yourself up over what people say"

Lance nodded, Mark was right, and he was pretty old so it made sense for him to be smarter.

"Now, how about we have fun now that we've dragged you to the land down under?" That made Lance smile, he was looking forward to spending the rest of his break actually doing stuff besides binging TV shows.

The next week went by so quick Lance was surprised when he actually had to go to the paddock, almost as surprised as fans when he showed up with both Fernando and Mark.

He hesitated when Fernando suggested all of them going together, worried about what people would say, but the older men made it obvious they couldn't care less so thats how they ended up going together, Mark having plans of doing interviews around the paddock and spending his free time in sither the pink or blue and yellow garage.

Being in Australia a week early was great, they were busy the whole time but Lance enioyed it, loving the time away from his phone and especially away from the media. It made him notice how close Mark and Fernando really were, he felt jealous at times but it was probably just because he was used to having Fernandos attention on him after quali and races, he felt selfish for feeling that way so of course he never addressed it.

"Where are you going first?" Lance asked, looking at Mark, both of them on either side of Fernando

"I was thinking of interviewing people first, it's gonna be weird being the one asking the questions"

"As long as you stay far away from me, we're good"

Fernando shook his head, pulling the taller man closer "We really need to get you used to the media, eh? All you do is complain" He sucked his teeth after he finished teasing Lance, earning nothing but an eyeroll from the teen

"Yeah, yeah." Lance smiled, not able to stop himself when it came to Fernando "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

And with that the race week started.

[solarswonderland]

a photo and patriarchy

pairing: gn!reader x yujin

wc: 0.8k

genre: fluff

warnings: mentions of barbie and spiderman, mentions of kidnapping (as a joke), mentions of feminism and patriarchy (again, as a joke),

summary: a movie and a photobooth. what could go wrong?

a/n: requested by this lovely anon <3

“yujinnn hurry up, we are going to be so late.” you groaned as you rolled around on the bed.

“beauty takes time, y/n!” he yelled from the bathroom, slapping serum onto his face.

you loved how much your boyfriend paid attention to taking care of his skin, most boys your age don’t do that. but it gets frustrating sometimes, especially when he does all his tasks at the speed of a turtle and you guys are certainly going to be late for your movie.

“yujin, need i remind you this is exactly how we were an hour late for spiderman? We enter the theatre and suddenly there’s an indian spiderman with awesome hair yelling about tea to like 5 other spidermans. i wanted to laugh but i didn’t understand why i was laughing,” you whine, trying to control yourself from screaming into a pillow.

yujin rolled his eyes as he exited the bathroom.

“calm down, i’m ready.” he did a little twirl. “how do i look?”

“exactly the same as you did 20 minutes ago.”

“ouch.” 

after around 10 minutes of yujin insisting that he does indeed look different than before he did his skincare, you guys ran out of his house and got in the car.

“what took you guys so long?” yujin’s dad asks, as he starts the car engine.

“yujin was trying to look pretty” you deadpanned, earning a scoff from the latter.

“i don’t have to try, i AM pretty.”

you and his dad laughed at him. eventually, the laughter died down and his dad drove you guys to the theatre. 

you always felt sleepy in cars. or just any vehicle. you slowly start to fall asleep, your head dangling sideways when suddenly, you feel a hand on your head, slowly guiding you to a warm shoulder. you sneak a peak and find yujin staring at you while his hand is patting your head.

“do i look like a dog to you? why are you patting my head?” you asked him. 

he blushed. “shut up and go to sleep.” you giggled and held his hand, falling asleep.

around 20 minutes later you guys reached the theatre. yujin woke you up (after lots of protests) and you guys ran inside, showing your tickets at the front desk. you walked into the theatre, and no surprise, you were late. as in, late late.

you glared at yujin who just smiled at you sheepishly. you took your seats as you tried to decipher the plotline so far. trust me, it was hard. so far it was just ken yelling “patriarchy!” over and over again.

after the movie was over (along with both of you googling the plotline to understand the whole film), yujin could not shut up.

“i swear y/n, ken is my true calling i’m telling yo- STOP LAUGHING AT ME!”

you just continued laughing anyway because you are a menace <3. after walking around for a while, you spotted something. you pulled him by the sleeve.

“what the hel- are you kidnapping me????” he asked frantically, fear evident in his eyes. you rolled your eyes before pointing to a booth. a photobooth. ohh.

both of you entered the booth and paid the money.

In the first photo, yujin has his arm around your shoulder, as both of you hold up a ‘V’ sign. In the second photo, yujin has a wide smile on his face while you pout (the hatred i have for this word…)  as he uses your head as an armrest. In the third photo, you give yujin a kiss on the cheek. In the fourth photo, he gives you a kiss on the cheek. 

both of you exit the booth, laughing and giggling at all the photos you took.

yujin’s dad waits for you guys outside the mall, a small smile appearing on his face looking at the two of you.

“how was the movie?” was the first question he asked when you got into the car. 

“feminism is my religion.” yujin stated, looking proud of himself, while you facepalmed and his dad suppressed a giggle.

“thats not how it works- you know what? i’m not even gonna try.”

– time skip to your house –

“thank you so much for dropping me, mr.han!” you thank his dad, who simply smiles and salutes at you. yujin exits the car and holds your hand, leading you to the door.

“i know this whole day was chaotic and messy, but i had fun.” you said to him sweetly.

“obviously, you spent the whole day with ME.” he stated proudly, while you deadpanned at him. 

“for real though, i had loads of fun too. everything is loads of fun with you,” he told you shyly, with a hand on his neck while you smiled uncontrollably. you were going to kiss his cheek, when the sound of his dad's honk interrupted the moment. 

“get a room!”

© solarswonderland 2023

[alexsoenomel]

Take Me Back To Eden (Joel Miller x f!Reader smut/fluff/angst?)

Summary: ��Let me know if you ever come back to Austin,” – was the last thing he told you, and after losing your parents in a car accident you did just that.

Pairing: Joel x f!Reader

Warnings: oh boy here we go: 18+ MINORS DNI, big ol' age gap (Reader is 27 andJoel is 50), mentions of death, grief, if you squint reader has ADHD, unhappy relationship, oral female and male receiving, dick in vagina and all that jazz, pet names like darlin' and baby and I think that's all...

Word count: 9.3k

Note: So, I was sad and had a really hard time coping with life during my exams. So instead of going outside or studying I created this.

Song: Take Me Back to Eden by Sleep Token

Like/ reblog or both if you like it :)

Everything was going in your favor. You graduated from Austin Community College with honors, found a job as an assistant in a law firm, and had a man by your side – everything by the book. You were renting a small loft in The Big Apple, planning your future – you were enjoying life. 

It wasn’t until you got a call from an unknown number. It wasn’t until you answered with a hallo that your life flipped upside down. Your parents – your support, your guardians – got into a fatal car accident when a reckless driver crashed into them, and your dad lost control of the wheel. The car ended up crashing into a tree and both of them died in a matter of minutes. Someone stopped the time that day. Nothing seemed to be real anymore. You were in haze and not the purple one.  It was the weekend, Saturday or Sunday, you had no clue, you only knew it was the day both you and your boyfriend were off; sitting in the comfort of your home having a Lord of the Rings marathon. The scream you let out that day, you didn't remember – your boyfriend did and he thought it was gut-wrenching. The immense grief taking over your body that day took a toll on your body. Your heart was hurting, your head was pulsating and your stomach was starving but your mouth refused to accept food. 

Your boyfriend tried to be there for you, to talk to you, even though no words could subside the loss you felt, he tried to hug you, but you refused to be touched and so two days after you got the devastating news, your relationship fell apart. You were fighting too much. He seemed deaf; you were trying to tell him that you needed solitude and he seemed to be wearing headphones. 

On the third day, he packed his bags and on the fourth he left to stay with a friend. He kissed you on the forehead and told you; you were going to work this out, but you knew it was over. It wasn't like the love you read in the books; it was boring and uneventful. You felt like something was missing. Boy meets girl, they date, fall in love, start living together and then marry. When you found the damn ring in his underwear drawer your heart sank – you knew you weren't ready for that; you didn't want that. The loss made you snap and you ended it.

You were left in an empty space, lying on the bed, trying to see the point of this life you lived. You didn't see it that day.

On the fifth day, you finally got the strength to book a one-way ticket to Austin. Your aunt from your dad's side called you to discuss funeral arrangements and your heart sank even lower thinking about burying both of your parents. This all seemed like a fever dream.

On the sixth day, you packed everything you could in one suitcase and left New York. You decided to take some time off aka got fired, since you didn't bother to show up for work, and grieve. The good thing was you had some savings in your bank account since you and now ex were talking about buying a home – or at least he was.

Thank God that ain't happening. 

You thought and closed the door, heading to the airport. 

***

You haven't been back home ever since you graduated college five years ago. Your parents would always come to New York since they both loved the city and as your mom used to say Christmas in New York City was always a fairytale.

Austin was a lot different than New York City– hot and humid, quieter, and not so chaotic. Your aunt was waiting for you at the airport with open arms and for the first time in six days, you felt like you needed it. You accepted her warm hug and as soon as you placed your chin on her shoulder you cried and cried and cried…

"It's okay. Let it out." You heard her say as she tried to squeeze the pain away with a tight hug. 

***

The funeral was painful. Your parents were good, hard-working people, loved by many so a lot of people came to pay their respects. You shook hands with people and listen to the same two sentences over and over again wanting to jump out of your skin:

I'm so sorry for your loss.

My condolences. 

Your parents were supposed to be here. It was too early. 

Tears just kept coming and thank God your aunt gave you a big pair of black sunglasses to hide your swollen face. 

"Your folks were good people," you heard a man say as he shook your hand. By the accent you knew he was a local. And by the sound of his voice you knew you knew him.

You looked up to see a familiar face. Joel Miller – the man across the street from the house you grew up in.

Your voice was mute as you shook his hand, not being able to look at him anymore.

****

After they were laid to rest it hit you; you couldn't just rot away in your own grief, instead you had to try and live your "new normal" – whatever that meant. You told your family you needed some alone time. Your uncle offered to stay with you in the house but you declined, saying you needed to grieve in private. 

"But I don't want you alone in that house," he told you. That man was always so sweet and caring. Since he didn't have kids of his own; you were the daughter he never had. 

Mom has a great big brother.

"You remember when that boy broke up with me when I was 16 sayin' he's too embarrassed to go outside with me?" You asked him, wiping your tears from your right cheek. "And I didn't leave my room for two days?"

"I remember that bastard," he said, almost angrily. 

"I'll be okay. I need some time alone."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure," you said and kissed his cheek. "I'll call you if I need company, okay?"

"Okay."

***

The house felt hollow and eerie as soon as you turned the key and stepped in. The air wasn't stale yet and the TV was off which was a rarity since your dad loved watching the news, while your mom loved sitting next to him reading a good romance novel. The house was spotless, with no dust in sight, since your mom enjoyed cleaning and listening to music every weekend. She loved the smell of a clean and polished home. You couldn't bring yourself to go to their room, a lump in your throat formed when you stood in front of their bedroom door. 

You grew up in that house, you had many memories engraved in the walls and wooden furniture there. Your heart would ache every time you would see a small scratch or a stain on your walls.  Those were all the memories of your happy and innocent childhood the house kept and refused to let go of. From food stains to scratches from tossing toys whenever you had a temper tantrum…Your father refused to repaint the house, saying even though you were at times an insufferable kid, those years were the best years of his life. You haven't set foot in that house for five years but it was still a place you would call home. Family photos all over the walls, cherished moments captured with your dad's camera throughout the years…your home.

The first day in that house you spend on the couch watching a movie on dad's TV. Your fingers felt heavy as you pressed the button on the remote. There was a blanket right next to you; your mom's blue blanket she would use to cover herself on a cold winter's day while getting lost in her book. Even though it was June and burning hot; your body was cold. Your soul was too sad to warm you up; you had to use your mom's blanket. It still smelled like her; a mixture of lavender – her favorite detergent and vanilla – her favorite perfume. Inhaling that smell was almost painful but it brought a wave of comfort. She was still in the house. 

You didn't eat that day after the funeral; instead, you fell asleep with the TV on. 

The second day seemed a lot better. You went to buy some groceries, made yourself a nice breakfast of sunny side-up eggs and bacon, and went to see the state of your backyard. It was freshly cut and green like always. Your dad liked taking care of the yard and making sure the grass was evenly cut and watered. 

I miss you. 

It wasn't until lunchtime that you started crying again when you glanced at the picture on your living room wall of your parents smiling with birthday caps on having a toast with Joel. You remembered that picture because you took it. It was your dad's birthday and he decided to have a BBQ in his beloved backyard. 

You were sitting on the floor, looking at the picture in your hands as a sharp pain went through your chest, tears falling uncontrollably.

Why them?

Only when you noticed how grumpy and ridiculous Joel looked with his cap on a small chuckle escaped your lips.

Joel Miller.

Your favorite neighbor and guitar teacher during your college days. Every weekend you would look forward to spending some time with Mr. Miller while learning the magic of an acoustic guitar. It had been your dream to learn how to play and since your dad loved you with all his heart, he wanted to make that happen for you, so he asked Joel. Joel enjoyed teaching you, especially since you knew a lot about "old people's music" as he would call it.

Soon after you saved up and bought your very first acoustic guitar and started practicing almost every day after classes.

Once you moved to New York, you stopped playing. That city tended to either inspire or destroy someone's creativity and in your case, it completely killed the love you had for playing. Once you started working the guitar only collected dust in your little loft. You didn't have an answer why it just did…

******

Five years ago.

"Why New York?" He asked you after you finished your last guitar session. Well, it wasn't a guitar lesson, since you now knew how to play, you spent that day practicing Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple on his porch.

"I don't like living here."

"Why?" 

"Too hot and too many conservatives."

Joel chuckled at your comment. "I agree with ya on that one darlin' but why New York City?" 

"I always wanted to go there. Never got a chance," you blushed, giving him a short answer.

Darlin' – you always loved when he called you that.

“Are you plannin' on comin’ back?”

“Hmmm, not really.” If only you knew…

"Well, let me know if you do come back. We can catch up and play together again."

"Will do, Joel."

He was dreamy. A man of few words and ridiculously handsome. Your little crush –Joel Miller the guitar teacher.

****

Your eyes were puffy and red from crying. You didn't even realize you were hugging the framed picture like your life depended on it. 

Numb. Numb was the feeling. 

This is not fair.

***

The next day you remembered what Joel told you – to let him know when you're back. He saw you at the funeral but it wasn't the appropriate time to catch up obviously. 

It was the first time since you landed you had three meals. For breakfast, a sandwich, for lunch noodles and you were about to have ice cream for dinner because you were craving something cold on a hot summer evening. You were doing somewhat okay, you cried once, under the shower that you used the first time on that particular day. As you were eating ice cream, Joel's words lingered in your mind again.

As much as you loved solitude, you were starting to crave company again. Your own thoughts were starting to suffocate you. 

Your family was great, on both sides, but you knew they would only feel sorry for you and tried their best to make you feel better; which wasn't possible. You just wanted to talk to someone and maybe have a drink or two.

You picked up your phone only to see 10 unread messages and 5 missed calls from your ex. You didn't even bother to open the texts, instead, you found Joel's number under the name Mr.Handsome and started typing…

Hey, I know it’s been like 5 years but you told me to let you know if I ever come back to Austin. The circumstances are shit but I figured to let you know I’ll be here for a while. And thank you for coming to the funeral, Joel. 

After a minute your screen lit up.

Your folks were great people like I told you. How you holdin up?

Better than few days ago. I took a shower today. Yay!

That's somethin. I figured you wanted to be alone after the I'm sorrys and condolences. 

You both dealt with your shit in private. He knew that since your dad would always tell him how you didn't want to talk to him every time you were dealing with something. Joel would just tell him to leave you be, since he was also the same and his daughter Sarah was just like him but only less intimidating.

Do you wanna come over to catch up? Human interaction seems nice today and I have alcohol.

For some odd reason, you felt a strange sensation in the bottom of your stomach. Nervousness? Why? 

I'm still at work. I can come after 10? 

Sure. You in the mood for whiskey after work? My father has a nice bottle he refused to open. 

Always in the mood for whiskey.

Perfect. See ya later!

He came at around 10:30 pm. When you opened the door you were greeted by a tall man in a green flannel, with soft brown eyes looking at you. Mr. Handsome. Your heart started racing but you ignored it.

"Hey!" You said and let him in. "Long time no see!"

"Long time no see!" 

Once he stepped into the light of your living room, you noticed his hair filled with even more grays than you remembered five years ago.

You wondered if it was once black like charcoal. His beard was also lighter and grayer.

He was still handsome, maybe even too handsome now. 

You went to the kitchen to get your dad’s prized possession, it was still sitting in the same spot in the pantry on the top shelf, collecting dust. Hillrock Solera Aged Bourbon Whiskey – a mouthful.

“How do you take your poison?” You asked as you put two glasses on the kitchen counter. Joel sat right in front of you. 

“Neat.” He said. 

His was neat and yours was with rocks. You made a toast in silence and took your first sips. It was strong but smooth and tasted like it took a small fortune out of your dad's wallet. It burned your throat but in a way no drink has ever done – it was a pleasant rich burn. 

“Why he didn’t wanna open it? It’s a good fuckin’ whiskey.” Joel asked you looking at the liquid gold. 

“He wanted to open it on my wedding day.”

“I’m guessin’ there’s no wedding.” 

“Not a fuckin’ chance.” You laughed. “I never told him I don’t wanna get married.” 

You were craving interaction but didn’t know what to say, what to add. The silence in the air was pleasant, felt like a warm hug in his presence. He was enjoying it just as much. 

“So Joel…” – you said finally – “What happened in your life during these past five years?” 

He finished his first glass and you immediately poured another one. 

“Same ol’ same ol’. Still working as a contractor.”

“How’s Sarah?” 

“All grown up in college. Studying agriculture in Nebraska.” 

You remembered his daughter fondly. She loved to hang out with your family. Your cousins would always tell you how pretty and smart she was. She was like family. 

“They grow up so fast, I swear.” You said taking another sip. 

***

The night was passing by quicker than you expected. Time wasn’t suffocating you and for a few hours, life seemed normal. Joel told you about his bar adventures and how he managed to get kicked out of multiple bars in the last year alone because of his short fuse. 

“You don’t seem like the violent type though.”

“Oh trust me darlin’ I can be when a fuckin’ moron tries to start an argument over stupid shit.”

Darlin’

You haven’t heard that one in a long time. He turned back time for a few seconds, as old butterflies started creeping into your stomach. 

After two glasses you started feeling tipsy so you decided to continue your drinking endeavors in the living room on the couch. Joel was sitting right next to you watching you as you poured your third glass. “How’s your love life?” You asked, not thinking this one through. Joel's eyebrows frowned as he gave you a half smile.

“Doesn’t exist.”

He never liked talking about his love life and past relationships, hell, you have never seen him with a woman next to him holding her hand. It was hard to picture him with someone since he was always just Joel. After Sarah’s mom he never fully recovered – or that was what you thought. Your speculations were always off when it came to people but you liked to think he never truly had gotten over Sarah’s mom. 

Now you were sitting there, cheeks burning, alcohol running through you as you wanted to hear one question: “What about you?”

A drunken man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts, but your words were too shy to come out. You wanted to let him know you were single, a desire buried so deep you forgot you had it. 

“What about you?” He asked. YES!

“I broke up with my ex when I got the news.” You confessed. “ Their death just pulled the inevitable trigger, I guess.” 

 “Even though that sounds kinda poetic, why was there a trigger in the first place?”

You swallowed nervously before taking another sip of whiskey. You never said those words out loud, you never dared to admit to yourself what was happening behind closed doors. You wanted to do everything by the book; make your parents proud; only to suffer in silence as a result.

“I wasn’t happy.” You felt a sense of freedom saying those words. Freedom, freedom, freedom…

Joel gave you a look of understanding, his soft eyes fixed on yours, sharing this intimate moment with you. 

“If you ain’t happy then what’s the point?” 

“Exactly, and I was stupid enough to think it mattered to my parents even though they never pressured me into”– you raised your two fingers to make quotation marks – “doing everything by the book.” 

“What you mean…marriage?” 

“Yeah, and this law degree I have, this job back in New York which I don't have anymore…I don't want that.” You confessed, putting your soul back together. Verbalizing it was validating and therapeutic. Joel just sat in silence and listened carefully knowing exactly what you were talking about. He was in the same boat once, lost and stuck in one place right before Sarah was born. He realized he needed to get his shit together – for her and his family. 

“What do you wanna do?” He asked genuinely curious. 

“I wanna play again and make music.” 

He wasn’t expecting that kind of answer. He always thought playing guitar was a hobby of yours nothing else. 

“I wanna paint, write and just…create.” You added.

“Old artistic soul you are.” He smiled, remembering the good days; your lessons. He thought you were gifted – a rock star – but you refused to believe it. When you learned the basics of the guitar you started experimenting, playing with melodies, and writing songs. Joel would play them. He liked your songs. 

 “I can tell you darlin’ one thing I know is your parents were proud of you and no matter what you do now they will be proud.” 

Your eyes started watering, but you refused to let the tears roll down your cheeks. You chugged the rest of your whiskey down like water. 

“I just wish they were here.” You leaned in, resting your head against Joel’s shoulder. He smelled like pine trees and something you couldn’t put a finger on it – something that made Joel, Joel. It had a calming effect on you.

“I know. I miss them too.” He said. Joel did miss them. They were his favorite neighbors, not forcefully kind or pretentious Bible folks – just normal kind of people. He loved spending time with your dad playing poker now and then and he certainly adored your mom’s signature pecan pie.

Alcohol was running through your veins as the sound of the clock was echoing throughout the house. 

“What time is it?” Joel asked you. 

“Mmmm, almost 1.” You slurred your words looking at your phone. 

“Do you want me to stay or are you okay sleepin’ here by yourself?” 

“You workin’ tomorrow?” You completely forgot it was Thursday. 

“Sadly. Have to get up at 7.” 

“Can you stay here for the night? I can take the couch, you go to my room. I can’t sleep there.” 

Joel placed a light kiss on your head and you were too intoxicated to notice it. Seeing you grieve the loss of your parents had a strange effect on him. It was almost like he could feel your pain, the same agonizing pain in his heart. “I will take the sofa.” 

He stood up leaving you starved for his touch and scent. You were drifting away when he pulled you back into reality. 

“Your back will hate you tomorrow though.” You said and wrapped yourself in your mother’s blanket. Joel pulled out the seat of the sofa making it into a small bed. 

“Or not.” You added when you realized someone finally fixed the pull-out sleeper chair you broke right before you left. 

“I fixed it for your old man a few weeks ago.” He said, adjusting the pillow before he laid down. He let out a sigh, feeling his body relax. “It’s brand new now.” 

No wonder your parents loved Joel so much. His exterior was tough, but under all the layers there was a heart made of gold. Even a simple thing like fixing the damn chair made your eyes tear up. 

“Thank you for fixing it for my dad, Joel.” 

“Your welcome darlin’” 

And with that you both drifted to sleep, leaving the whiskey bottle half empty. 

***

You woke up at around 8 am to an empty house and a pleasant smell in your nostrils. Your head was pounding, your mouth was dry as a dessert and you couldn’t sleep. You checked your phone only to see a text from Joel. 

I made you breakfast. Eggs and waffles since you only had that in the fridge. I figured you’d be too hungover to do anything, so EAT! 

He was right. You were indeed too hungover to do anything. 

On the kitchen counter, there was a plate waiting for you and a glass of orange juice. 

Thank you, my favorite guitar teacher :) 

You answered before your brain could complete your thought. 

And thank you for coming last night. I hope I didn’t suffocate you.

One thing you learned over the years was – people don’t give a shit. In the end, your problems are your own and no one else’s. He didn’t answer. Once you dove into your scrambled eggs you heard a bing. 

Darlin if you think this is a one time thing you’re mistaken. 

Again with the darlin’. Your heart started pumping faster as you stuffed your face with eggs. 

As you were thinking about how to answer, another message popped up. 

I told you to let me know when you’re back so we can catch up and play again. 

Another message. 

Well we missed the playing part last night.

He still remembered his own words from five years ago. You wanted to get back into playing, but by now you were rusty; you hadn’t touched your guitar in so long that you forgot how to hold it. 

You’d be disappointed. I haven’t played in ages, plus my guitar is back in New York. 

Darlin playin guitar is just like drivin a car. You aint forgetting that. You just have to remind your fingers how to move. 

You chuckled. His words made sense. Another message popped up in a matter of seconds. 

You can play my electric one. 

He never told you he had an electric guitar. He would always play the acoustic versions of his favorite rock songs. You decided why not. 

Okay, that’s goin’ to be a mess. I’m down. 

***

The rest of the day you spent in anticipation and nervousness. You tried to occupy your mind by doing simple tasks like going to the store, making lunch, and rummaging through your stuff in your room. You finally got the courage to go in, to see old family photos all over the room and old trophies and diplomas. You were an overachiever, a gifted kid your dad would call you, straight A student, a painter, a writer, and a spelling bee champion. Too bad once puberty knocked at your door that gifted kid became insecure, lost, and consumed with sadness. Once a gifted kid, now a miserable adult. You thought living by the book would make you happier, but it only made you hate life even more. 

You found your memory box under your bed and spent the majority of the day looking at old concert tickets, letters, and little Polaroids of old friends. You were too hyper-fixated on going down the memory lane; you didn't cry. The nostalgia this box brought  made your heart warm. Your room was a memory portal, pleasant and nostalgic, and you decided to take a nap in it. When your head hit the cold pillow your whole body sank into the mattress, and you drifted peacefully, with no thoughts in your mind and sorrow in your soul.

You woke up at around 7 pm. Someone was knocking on your door.

"Hey." You greeted Joel with a yawn, still not feeling 100% awake. You noticed his hair was slick back and wet, and he was wearing his signature jeans and a blue t-shirt. He probably took a shower back home. You swallowed the remaining spit in your mouth as you admired his looks. That man only looked better with age.

 In his hands, there were two guitars, his signature acoustic one and a baby blue Fender Stratocaster in the other. 

"Hey." 

Immediately he put the guitars on the couch and went straight into his backpack trying to find something. 

"There it is." He said and pulled out a small amplifier. 

"Joel, this guitar is fuckin' beautiful. You never told me you had an electric one." 

"Yeah well, when my band fell apart she went to the attic." 

You tilted your head wondering if you heard him right. "You had a band?"

Joel stopped mid-connecting the baby blue beauty to the amplifier and shook his head. "Long story." 

You started slow. You have never played an electric guitar so first Joel let you play with strings and feel the weight since an acoustic was a lot lighter than an electric one. 

"Like I told you, it's like drivin'." 

You took a deep breath, feeling your hands shake in anticipation. The anticipation being you waiting to fuck everything up. 

"I guess I forgot how to drive." You smiled awkwardly. 

Truth be told you forgot since in New York you don't need a car, but once Joel played one chord and told you to do the same your ears immediately perked up.

"That's G5." You said as your fingers touched the strings. The sound was strong and sharp, far different and powerful than the sound coming from Joel's guitar. 

"Another one." He said and played another chord.

"F5." You were correct. 

Joel's face lit up with excitement. The first time you saw him smiling for a straight minute. Every sound he played you guessed it. 

Soon enough you saw the pattern and recognized the melody.

"That’s…That’s Smoke on the water?"

"Unbelievable," he said, confirming your answer. " I’m convinced you have a perfect pitch because you darlin' are a natural." 

You felt your hands get sweaty and your fingers felt still and in pain – it was the same satisfying pain you felt in them after every lesson you had with Joel, only this time the pain was sharper because the strings were thicker. 

"Wanna find out?" You asked him. "Play me something and I'll try to follow you."

It felt good playing again. Walking on that road again was familiar and Joel was holding your hand guiding you all the way. 

He nodded and thought for a second before a familiar melody filled the room. It was Dazed and Confused by Led Zeppelin. Your favorite song. He took the inspiration from your old worn-out Zepp t-shirt you were wearing that day. It was your dad's. He gave you a few years ago when he realized he was too big to wear it. Both of you connected through that band and now Joel was playing one of their songs for you. 

The precision in which he moved his fingers, his silk back hair, his bottom lip between his teeth as he was trying to concentrate…Joel Miller was starting to occupy your mind more and more.

You shook your head and listened carefully. The chords were relatively simple. You played a couple before you eventually found them and slowly but surely you followed him. He was right, it was like driving. Your fingers remembered. 

"Good girl." You heard him say through the sound of both guitars creating heaven in the form of melodies. You smiled back at him, pretending like you didn't just feel your pussy get wet by his comment. You wondered if he was aware of it – his presence was intoxicating, addictive, you wondered if he was aware of his charm. 

"You're a fuckin' rockstar." He said and placed the guitar right next to him. He went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"No, I ain't." You denied, but he didn't register you.

"A rockstar with a perfect pitch." 

***

By the time you finished your jamming session, it was almost 9 pm. From Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, and Queen you covered everything you used to play together. Your fingers were red and swollen – but your heart was full. Joel put the missing puzzle piece in you, making you realize playing wasn't just a hobby, it was a need and a means of survival. Art was the core of your whole being.

Why did I stop playing in the first place?

You decided to have a late-night dinner.

"Hope you like my shitty burgers. I'm a lousy cook so if you get food poisoning you have been warned." You shrugged your shoulders and went to the kitchen. You made them that day to not think about cooking tomorrow, not knowing he would come.

"I'm not sayin' no to burgers." He smiled softly.

As you were sitting in silence devouring the burgers that were actually quite good in Joel's words your mind went somewhere you didn't want. Your crush. Your undying crush that was Mr. Handsome. He was much older than you, a friend of your now-deceased parents, and yet you would still get butterflies after so many years. 

"Tell me the story about the band." You shook your butterflies away and let your mind focus on something else. 

"I told you it's a long one."

"Well, make it shorter." You sassed. 

You shared a look before simultaneously taking a bite of your burgers, grease slipping down your fingers. 

"After high school me and my buddies would play small gigs in local pubs. We were doin’ pretty good until we got into a fight and broke up. I punched the bassist." 

"Of course you did. A fight over what?" 

Joel rolled his eyes when he realized what he had to tell you. "They wanted to name the band Rock Bottom." 

He confessed as you choked on a piece of your burger. Thank God you swallowed the piece quickly enough because you started laughing, while Joel just stared at you trying not to roll his eyes again. 

“A rock band, Rock Bottom! That’s horrible, I love it!” 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

“But wait, why did you punch the bassist?”

“Ah, he fucked my ex.” He said almost too casually and you froze mid-bite. It was the first time he ever mentioned an ex/girlfriend. 

“That wasn’t the answer I expected.” 

***

After dinner, you both started craving alcohol. Since there was little to no whiskey left, you remembered your mom would always have a bottle of red wine in the house – for cooking and drinking purposes. Red wine was your poison and it opened many doors, setting you free and killing the remains of your shyness. Adrenaline was running through your veins when you poured your second glass, feeling your tongue untangling. You wanted to confess more with each sip. He seemed to be getting more and more handsome or you were just getting more and more intoxicated. For the past two days you weren't rotting away, you laughed, cried, ate and you remembered good moments in life. His laughter only made you laugh, his words made you listen, his music made you calm…

Your gaze was fixed on his perfect aquiline nose as he was telling you another story about his band or rather about the bassist that fucked his then girlfriend. You were drifting, wondering, fantasizing what it would be like to close the gap between you, to feel his warmth, to spend the night.

"And that's why I wanted to break his fuckin' jaw the second time."

You blinked a couple of times, praying to God you didn't visibly drift away. Another sip of wine went down your throat smoothly. 

"Darlin' are you okay?" 

Crap.

"Yeah I-" in a second God answered your prayers when you heard a bing from your phone. Your aunt and uncle have been checking up on you, regularly making sure you were alright so you assumed someone messaged in the family chat. You were wrong. It was your ex again. 

A quiet ugh left your lips followed by an eye roll before you locked your phone and put it on the table. 

"Everything okay?" Joel asked, glancing at your phone then back at you.

"Yeah. My ex and his I wanna talk bullshit." 

"Dude doesn't seem to get the memo, huh?" 

"Nope. I don't wanna talk to him. If I open my mouth he will probably cry or lose his mind. I'm doing him a favor."

Joel licked his bottom lip, not understanding what you just said.

"Care to explain more?" 

"You really wanna listen to me whine about my failed relationship?" 

"I'm all ears." 

He gave you permission and you told him everything. Something about this man screamed a safe haven for your aching soul. He was the comfort you needed. You told him the forbidden words. The love you wanted was the love your ex never knew how to give. His love was plain, boring like working 9 till 5. If he made a mistake he would buy you something, it he was tired he would forget to kiss you after coming home from work, if he was horny he would fuck you in the same position over and over. There was no depth, no fireworks. Your relationship looked like a marriage of two middle aged people that hated each other. He wasn't capable of satisfying you, neither emotionally, nor intellectually, nor sexually. The guy was as plain as white bread. When you got together with him, it felt right, because you didn't know him well, but after a year you already knew and when second year rolled around you wanted to jump out of your skin. 

Joel wasn't surprised by your words. He understood them, especially when he knew you during your college days. You were always hyper, desperately chasing that high; that dopamine boost, always getting hyper fixated on songs he would play you – you wouldn't stop practicing until you perfected the song – your brain was scattered back then in the same way as it was now. You were anything but boring. He liked that about you; your wild spirit perfectly aligned with his inner lone wolf. Later he realized, he wasn't much of a lone wolf after all when he was with you. Five long years without her… – he thought as the sweetness of wine hit his dry mouth. 

"Oh and he has a small dick," your mouth slipped. You were always as blunt as they come, but after alcohol – you were far worse. Joel choked on his last sip and chuckled. 

"How small?"  He asked genuinely curious. 

You lift up your right pinkie. "Add another half an inch." 

"Damn, poor dude." 

"No, Joel poor me," you said,putting your index finger on your chest. "It's not even the size, it's the fact that he was a selfish bastard and lasted two minutes."

You didn't know why you opened this particular can of worms. Joel seemed to be interested and listening, but was he truly? Your now drunk brain wanted to dive into something unknown and you did everything you could to stay in that lane and keep the conversation going. You wanted to know what he liked in the bed; you wanted him to verbalize it and then show you; especially since it was the truth – you haven't had good sex in AGES. At the same time another thought pierced your head like a bullet – was it wrong to be having these sinful thoughts in your deceased parent's house? Was it wrong to be crushing on a man who just turned 50? Were you just sad and wanting to replace sadness with a good orgasm? You didn't know and frankly you didn't care. This high was too good for you to stop chasing it – like a damn junkie. 

Joel licked his lips and devilishly smiled. He always liked hearing you vent. He thought you were adorable, getting all annoyed and frustrated and always losing yourself in your own thoughts – your mouth being faster than your brain. 

"Darlin', no wonder you weren't happy. Should have dumped his ass a long time ago."

"Stop callin' me that," you said, feeling yourself getting wet. Wine just enhanced everything you were feeling and Joel seemed to be getting hotter by the minute. "You always call me that and it's distracting." You added not wanting to sound rude.

"How so, darlin'?" He was a tease. You were his darlin' and ever since you stepped foot into his house, for your first guitar lesson, he would call you that and every time you would get distracted. 

"Ugh, Joel, don't make me embarrass myself now." You hid your face from him with your palm, feeling your cheeks burning. You dug this hole by yourself and now you had to lay in it. 

"Oh come on now, I'm curious." He was curious, even though he already knew the answer. He just wanted you to say it. 

All those years and she still looks at me like that. Silly little thing… 

"I- I like it too much…if you know what I mean." You poured the rest of the wine in your glass and took a big sip.

"No I don't." He tilted his head, like a damn kid asking stupid questions.

He was impossible.

"Jesus Christ," you whispered under your breath. "I get horny, okay?" 

You finally confessed and Joel smirked.

"Dear God, take me now." Came out in the form of a whisper. 

He was your parents' neighbor, your dad's poker buddy, he was 23 years older than you and yet you wanted him to devour you. 

"Is it bad that I have a crush on you and you're only 10 years older than my dead father?" You asked. The first time the word dead came out of your mouth. 

"Is it bad that I don't think it's bad?" 

That damn smirk on his face is going to be the death of me.

"If you don't think it's bad, can I do something?" You were burning up and the summer weather didn't help. 

"Of course, darlin'," he answered, and thank God he gave you an affirmative response because you were feeling adventurous. You chugged the rest of the wine from your glass and put it on the table. Then went and sat on Joel's lap, putting your legs on both his sides. You could feel his hot breath on your face, his firm chest and his dick slowly getting hard. Your hands found their way into his now dry hair; it was soft, softer than you thought. His fingers went behind your back, finding your bare skin under your shirt, making you shiver. 

"Now do you think it's bad?" You said, slowly moving your hips, grinding against him. 

His breathing deepened, his mouth slightly opened and he whispered: "No." 

That was all you needed to hear. No more holding back, no more hiding behind a shy smile and refusing to look him in the eyes. His wine-stained lips touched yours gently. His lips were surprisingly soft and as the kiss deepened more and more, his hands roamed on your body freely, touching any naked surface he could find. When your hips started moving faster a muffled moan escaped from Joel's mouth letting you know he was growing impatient. Hell, you could feel it. He was now fully hard underneath those jeans and big. 

When oxygen became a necessity, you broke away resting your nose on his.

"Still not bad?" You asked, almost breathless.

"Still not bad." 

Something about sleeping with your favorite guitar teacher in your living room, filled with family photos, was giving you an ick so you went into your room. Your bed wasn't big, but it was big enough for both of you. He climbed on top of you, kissing you hungrily as you pulled on his hair making him groan into the kiss. 

"Mmm I thought you couldn't sleep here." He told you between kisses. "What changed your mind?"

"I broke the ice today" – you sighed as Joel bit your neck gently – "With a nap." 

Your hands pulled on his t-shirt, trying to take it off and feel his warm skin against yours. He took it off, before taking yours off followed by your shorts leaving you completely bare, only in your black panties underneath him. It was too hot for a bra that day. You cupped your breasts feeling a sense of embarrassment. Joel took your palms, intertwined his fingers with yours and put your hands above your head.

"No need to feel shy aroun' me darlin'," He said and placed kisses all over your collarbones, getting lower and lower. You sighed growing wetter with each kiss and touch. His lips explored your skin, his beard lightly brushing against it leaving light red spots all over your belly. When he reached your panties he kissed you through the fabric as your back arched – your body on fire. You have never experienced anything like that with anyone and he hadn't even fucked you yet. Something about him; maybe his age or maybe the fact that you had known him for so long, he was comfort and you were ready to let go of all of your worries. You were his. 

"Are you going to…?" You asked looking at the ceiling, but unable to finish the thought. 

"Don't be shy, baby. Use your words!"

Baby.

You swallowed, feeling your cheeks burning. "Eat me out?"

Joel took off your panties as he positioned himself right in front of your cunt. He kissed the skin on your inner thighs as you bit your lip, balancing yourself on your elbows.

"I can do that, can't I?" He asked, trying to play innocent.

"Yeah, it's just… no one has ever. I don't know if I'd like it." You confessed. 

You had little to no experience when it came to good sex. Your ex liked the same shit and wasn't as creative as you would have wanted him to be. All of your previous partners were the same – same shit over and over. They were all selfish – selfish and just awful.

"You've been with some dickheads, darlin'. Who doesn't wanna eat this pretty little pussy? I mean look at you, baby." 

His words were hot, but tongue against your wet cunt was even hotter. 

"You're already so wet for me.Tell me if you don't like it, okay?"

"Okay, Joel."

He started off slow, showering you with kisses all around your sensitive and pulsating core, before his face was buried deep between your legs, licking the bundle of nerves that no one bothered to touch. Your fingers were in his hair, pulling it harder and harder as the pleasure was growing stronger. It was a brand new feeling – intense, but good. It felt like he was tickling you and torturing you and yet you didn't want him to stop. Your mouth only knew the sound of his name.

"Joel, Joel….FUCK!" 

You could feel the vibrations of his groans against your skin, making your back arch. When he placed two fingers inside, you knew you were going to lose it very soon. It was too much to handle. He was fucking you with his fingers as his mouth never left your clit. Your sanity began to crumble as you started forgetting your own name, only pleasure taking over you. 

"Oh my fucking God!" You screamed, gripping the bed sheets as the orgasm rushed through you. Your body was stiff, skin covered in goosebumps, your lungs forgot to breathe – the climax hit you hard. 

You were panting, practically running towards air, but not being able to catch it. Joel kissed your hip bone and climbed back up. 

"Good girl!" He said and kissed you letting you taste yourself. A mixture of sweet and salty hit your taste buds – you craved more. 

"Spit in my mouth!" You heard yourself say, breaking the kiss. Your hands cupped his face pulling him closer and licking your juices off his beautiful nose. 

Joel bit his lower lip,  letting you know he liked your demand.

"Open!" He said and you opened your mouth, letting your tongue out. A thick drop of saliva left his mouth and hit your tongue, and you swallowed instantly. Something about being able to finally taste every part of this man was enough to send you into an animalistic state so intense it was able to  cloud your judgment completely. You wanted to take control now. It was his turn to moan and scream in pleasure. Your hands went around his torso as you pulled him closer to you. His hot skin pressed against yours and before he knew it you managed to flip him over, with his help,so he was under you. Finally, he was under you.

"You are a lot stronger than you look, darlin', he told you as you took off his jeans.

"Not strong Joel…just really fuckin' horny." You confessed. 

He was bigger than you– sure; stronger– sure; but under your spell powerless. It has been a very long time since he felt this kind of connection with anyone. He needed this just as much as you did. 

"What you wanna do? He asked and watched you taking off his boxers, his dick free and fully hard and slightly curved to the right. 

"I want you to fuck my mouth, handsome." 

Handsome.

He was indeed handsome. His hair messy, skin drenched in sweat, his eyes soft as always – he was indeed the most handsome man you have ever laid your eyes on. 

Only a gasp left his lips. He didn't even manage to react to your statement; his dick was already in your warm mouth. 

"Fuck!" You heard him say under his breath. Not having a gag reflex was a blessing, since he was big enough and hit the back of your throat right away. Your head moved slowly up and down as you hand cupped his balls making him grip the bed sheets and moan your name. Hearing him say your name all hot and bothered only made you want him even more. 

Your pace became faster, with each movement his dick would hit your throat and every time he would moan. 

"Baby!" He called but you didn't answer.

"Please, don't make me cum!" Your ears registered. He was begging.

"Please, don't wanna –" 

His words. The desperation in his voice was sweet like honey – music for your ears. You didn't stop though, you wanted to listen to him beg a little bit more. 

"Baby –"

His dick was hitting your throat every time and it felt too good to stop.

"Please –" 

His words – too melodic and desperate to pull away. 

"I'm gonna –"

Until you finally pulled away. His head hit the pillow and in relief he let out a sign when you got back up to kiss him

"Going insane, handsome?" You teased.

"Teasin' me like that darlin' – Jesus Christ– yeah a little bit." 

You kissed him again, swallowing his short exhales, smiling into the kiss. "I couldn't resist, you're cute when you beg." 

And with that he flipped you over by wrapping his hands around your body. With ease, like you were a ragdoll. A squeal echoed in the room. Your fingers followed his face lines; on his forehead, cheeks all the way to his lips, your thumb, brushing against his lower lip. You had never seen his face up close, every line was a perfect puzzle piece on his face, his eyes were dark, tired but filled with warmth. He was a work of art, nothing more, nothing less.

"You're so handsome, Joel." 

He didn't know how to react. He forgot how to take compliments, so he just kissed you, almost wanting to absorb your words through your lips. He liked them – he liked you, very much.

"You're beautiful, darlin'." He said, stroking your hair. 

"I never thought you'd go for a young lady like me." You told him, your hands around his torso, pulling him as close as possible. 

"And I never knew you'd go for an old man like me." He smiled, his face inches away from yours – noses barely touching.

You frowned. "You ain't old." 

"Sure darlin'." He smiled softly before kissing you again. 

It wasn't a dream. It wasn't a daydream. He was healing the wounds in your soul with each kiss. He was gluing you back together; like you were a broken vase; not even knowing that he was the glue. It was strange to finally feel an ounce of happiness – true authentic happiness; considering the situation and the enormous grief surrounding you in that house. He made everything go away. 

A pathetic whine left your lips as he entered you. He was big, bigger than any guy you had slept with and the blissful sensation was fused with light discomfort before completely melting with pleasure. Joel kissed the skin just underneath your ear.

"Are you okay?" He whispered. 

"Y-yeah. Fuck me!" You whispered back.

Slowly he started to move, establishing the pace. With each thrust, your fingers pulled his hair, with each pull he moaned. It seemed that he waited for you long enough. You were now his and only his to consume. 

Your legs wrapped around his waist pulling him closer to hit that sweet spot, your ex was incapable of hitting without cumming in two seconds. Sloppy kisses and love bites as the pace got faster. The room filled with moans, groans and whimpers. Time stopped – it was just you and him.

Joel suddenly stopped and took your legs, placing them on his shoulders. You watched him as he slowly leaned in to kiss you as he started moving again– faster and harder. You had no idea you were that flexible. 

"OH MY GOD!!" You screamed feeling him hit that sweet, sweet spot over and over again. 

He took your face squeezing your cheeks between fingers, forcing you to look at him.

"Not God, Joel!" He smirked as he was fucking you. 

You giggled. "Funny, old man!" 

Your body wasn't hurting, he bent you over in half; like a piece of paper; you could see your feet dangling in the air as he was pounding into you. 

"Joel, Joel, Joel!!!" 

"There we go! Come on baby! Cum! Cum for me!" His words were unexpected; since no one has ever cared enough to say them. No one has ever cared enough to see you come undone.

You dug your fingers into his back, feeling the waves of pleasure consuming you completely. 

"Gonna–"

"Fuck–"

"JOEL!"

For the second time you fell apart under him. Your body was completely drenched in sweat as you let the pleasure run through you. He still didn't stop, he was eager to cum; to have that release and fill you up. He wondered if he could.

You lifted your head up and kissed him. "Cum in me, handsome!" 

"C-can I?" He asked, barely able to speak. He was close – really close – he just wanted to make sure you were okay with it.

"I'm on the pill," you reassured him. "Please, Joel!"

The desperate plea was all it took for him to completely lose himself. He stopped moving, his body twitching in pleasure as he filled you up. The sound of him moaning and groaning as he couldn't keep your name out of his mouth was something you never knew you'd hear. 

You felt him fill you up completely, before he pulled out, collapsing next to you. 

He was aware that this wasn't just a meaningless fuck and you knew you were already falling for him. 

***

A few months later  

Your alarm went off as you pressed snooze. It was time to seize yet another day but after another 5 minutes and another and another... You rolled on your side to find the other half of the bed empty. 

"Joel?" You mumbled, still feeling groggy.

When you finally got the strength to actually get up, you found him in the kitchen making pancakes. 

"Mornin'," you said, rubbing your eyes.

"I was about to wake you up darlin', we're already late." He said, placing a kiss on your forehead. 

It was a rainy day in The Big Apple and you would much rather stay in your beloved loft than go outside and be a productive member of society. Unfortunately, you had dreams to catch and money to make.

"Didn't they tell us the rehearsal is at noon?" You asked, taking one pancake from the plate. 

"Darlin' it's 11am." He told you. You didn't realize you had been snoozing your phone for an hour.

"Do we have to go though? We already had two gigs there and we played the same shit. I know my chords.," you whined. As much as you love playing, you really wanted to stay in.

"Yes, we have to. Tonight is some kind of fancy jazz night, remember? We will be playing different songs."

You completely forgot about that.

"Shit! Well, it's your fault old man! Your stamina is so high, we always end up fucking like rabbits almost every single night for like 5 hours!" You teased and smacked his ass playfully. 

"Seriously?" He said with a bitch face as he watched you leave to go to the bathroom to get ready. 

"Love you, handsome!" He heard you say.

"Love you too, darlin'." He said and flipped the last pancake. 

[the-girl-wh0-cries-w0lf]

Paper Rings

James Wilson x peds!reader

description - there's never a break when you're a doctor, someone is always in need. No matter what you have planned for the evening.

Or

Wilson has a ring but y/n has a patient.

requested - yes

word count - 1.5k

authors note - obviously inspired by 'Paper Rings' by Taylor Swift. I am just falling in love with this story of this pair and I am looking forward to writing even more. But I would love to know how much viewership my fics are getting so please if you read it and like it - interact!

Masterlist

Requests open - here

-x-x-x-x-x-

*wilsons pov*

My hands just couldn’t stay still and felt the need to flick each finger constantly. Maybe they were nervous for what they knew they would be holding in a few minutes. I brought my hand down to my pocket, confirming the square shape that could be felt from outside the fabric.

I’d planned it all perfectly. Her favourite restaurant, the flowers. Even the new dress and shoes she currently adorned. She sat across from me looking as beautiful as ever. Her lips moved as she passionately discussed the recent case she’d been consulting on, but I couldn’t register any sound that escaped as I got lost in her eyes. I was mesmerised by her lips and the way they seemed to kiss each word that escaped them. Her hair looked unbelievably soft and I knew the subtle coconut smell that seeped through each lock. She was perfect. And she was mine.

“I’m so glad were doing this. As much as I love takeout and cuddling on the couch in sweats, it’s nice to dress up once in a while. Well, anything is better than scrubs.” She laugh melodiously.

“Well, you look very beautiful.”

“You think I look beautiful in scrubs.” She laughed incredulously.

“Well, you do, and super sexy.” I bit my lip thinking about my girl in those scrubs that fit her body like a glove. Hair scraped back, too focused on saving lives to worry about how it looks. It’s like knowing my girl is a superhero and seeing her in her costume; just so powerful and unbelievably sexy.

I’m knocked out of my thoughts when she leans over to caress my hand. “You need to stop that or we won’t make it to dessert.”

“I’m actually in the mood for something hot and sweet tonight.” She winked like the minx she is.

“I do have an ulterior motive for tonight.”

“If House walks in, I’m leaving right now-“

“No, he’s at a monster truck rally. I bought the tickets especially.”

“Good, we don’t need a repeat of last time. It’s like having a toddler with the humour of a 12-year-old boy.”

“Anyways as I was saying—”

A crashing sound reverberates around the whole restaurant and both our heads snap towards a table where a young boy had collapsed, pulling the table cloth with him. His mother jumps up to catch her son as he falls. She shrieks at the events that just transpired in front of her eyes. The mum yells and the dad announces to the restaurant…

“IS ANYONE HERE A DOCTOR?”

In perfect synchronisation, y/n and I rise to attention and both announce.

“We’re doctors.”

-x-x-x-x-x-

Y/n has just finished talking to the boy as the morphine takes him to sleep. She is still wearing her sleek black dress and red pumps, only now they’re covered by her lab coat. Is she trying to kill me. I join her, having also given up my dress coat for a lab coat. I couldn’t deny, we looked powerful together. Dressed to the nines, whilst saving a boy’s life.

“Simple allergic reaction.”

“Peanuts?”

“No, egg. I’ve never seen it develop this late.”

“Well, the parents are vegetarians so there’s a chance he’d never been exposed to it until now.”

“Thank god we were there.”

“No. Thank god you were there.” I lean down to kiss her nose as she scrunches it up. I love when she does that, she’s like a little bunny.

We walk towards the parents who have not stopped pacing since they entered the hospital. The mother hurriedly approaches us to meet us in the middle, whilst the father’s head remains hanging low.

“Mr and Mrs Carmichael, there is nothing to worry about, your son is fine now. He had an allergic reaction to egg. I’m going to write you a prescription for an epi pen but I recommend staying away from eggs altogether. Ooh I actually have an amazing birthday cake recipe that doesn’t use eggs in my office, I’ll go get it now.” I look on lovingly as she teeters down the corridor as fast as her heels could take her.

Mrs Carmichael laughs whilst wiping away the tears that fell in relief. Mr Carmichael shakes my hand whilst his wife composes herself once again.

“Thank you so much. Seriously, I mean I dread to think what would have happened if you and your wife hadn’t been there.”

“Oh she’s not my wife, but I’d really like her to be.”

“Well, we may have only known you guys for a few hours but I highly doubt she’d say no.” He patted me on the back and went to follow his wife who was slowly gravitating towards her sons room. I suddenly remembered that I was a doctor and had a patient.

“Oh yes, we want to keep your son in overnight for observation but you can take him home tomorrow.”

“Can I stay with him? I don’t want him to be alone when he wakes up.” his mother asked, her eyes never leaving her boy.

I soften my voice to reply. “Of course. I’ll set you up a makeshift bed.”

Mr Carmichael rubs his wifes back soothingly and guides her into the room.

“I’ll go home and make up a bag for you and him. I’ll be an hour tops.” He kisses her head and leaves her to sit down next to her son.

In that moment, I had never been more sure of what I was about to do.

-x-x-x-x-x-

I stand in the door of her office and I just watch on as she is standing on her desk trying to look amongst the multitude of toys and pictures on her shelves.

“I swear I saw the recipe just last week!”

“Honey, as much as I love this sight you’re gonna hurt yourself.” I make my way over and grip her waist to lift her down from the dangerous position. She grumbled but let me lift her anyway. I think she just likes it when I hold her, especially around her waist. She turns around in my arms.

“How are they?”

“The mum is gonna stay overnight and the dad went home to pack a bag for her.”

“We should get some sheets and pillows for her, she’s gonna be so uncomfortable.”

“Already done. She said it was comfy but I think she was just being nice.”

“Or 3 hours of pure stress worrying about her child meant hospital chairs and a few pillows did sound inviting.”

I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I scanned every inch of her face to commit it to memory, as if it was the last time I’d ever see her face. She giggled, feeling bashful under my gaze.

“What did you want to say? At the restaurant, you were about to say something.”

“Oh yeah,” I was jerked back into reality. “I wanted to say that I never in my life thought I would meet anyone like you. As sweet as you, as kind as you, as smart as you. And, even when I met you, I never in a million years thought I deserved you. I know my history doesn’t exactly give me a stellar record, but I think on some level I’ve been waiting my whole life for this. For you. So—” As I finished, I began to feel around my pockets. The less I found, the quicker I checked. Damn it! My jacket was still at the restaurant.

A lightbulb went off and I sprinted away to look in her craft boxes. After a few minutes I turned back towards her. I got down on one knee.

“Dr y/n y/l/n, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?” I presented to her a ring made out of two pink and red pipe cleaners twisted together.

Tears fell down her face and mixed in with her soft giggles.

“Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes!” She threw herself down onto me so we both tumbled to the floor. She was on top of me, and we both scrambled to fit the pipe cleaner ring on her finger.

“I’m sorry it’s not a proper ring. It was in my jacket that I left at the restaurant, but I couldn’t wait a second longer without asking you-“ She met my lips in a deep kiss.

She pulled away ever so softly and whispered.

“You could have asked me with paper rings, and I would still marry you Dr James Wilson.”

“So, about dessert?” I raised my eyebrows suggestively.

-x-x-x-x-x-

We were cuddled up on her office couch, our bodies covered up with a single sheet. She admired the ring that still sat on her finger despite our activities.

“Just think soon we’ll no longer be Dr y/n y/l/n and Dr James Wilson and we will become Dr y/n y/l/n and Dr James Wilson.”

“No Wilson?” I laughed whilst stroking the smooth skin of her arm.

“That MD and PHD is mine, you’ve got your own.”

-x-x-x-x-x-

[ofstoriesandstardust]

orange show speedway

or: Carole and Maverick go to the Del Mar fair with their kids

like father, like daughter masterlist

warnings: swearing, jealous teenager Rebel, this one’s just kind of for fun as we move into summer, did i get Carole completely wrong probably, Bradley’s got a girlfriend for like five seconds and we never see her again, Maverick hasn’t hit his stride in comforting his daughter yet and it’s funny, i wrote this on a whim in like an hour and am posting it before i lose my nerve

word count: 1.6k

You huff, plopping down at the barely-shaded table your Dad and Carole are sitting at. She peer at you from over her sunglasses, a smile on her face. “You alright there?” 

“No.” You say petulantly, crossing your arms. Maverick laughs, licking his ice cream cone. 

“What happened kiddo?” 

You sigh, rolling your eyes at the thought of why you had come back to the table in the first place. 

You and Bradley had both entered the photography contest at your high school. In an effort to work with the youth, the Del Mar fair offered free tickets to every high school student who entered it with a ticket for every entry. 

You’d both submitted two entries, planning on going to the fair together twice, especially now that Bradley had a shiny new license he could use to drive the both of you. 

And then, it all came crashing down when your neighbor had gone to the fair and snuck in alcohol, getting blackout wasted and nearly arrested. Your Dad had insisted he and Carole go with the two of you. 

And honestly, you weren’t really mad about it. Carole hadn’t seemed like herself for a few months now and any time to spend out with your Dad you would jump at now that he was back in San Diego on leave for the next little while. 

No, you were more disappointed at the fact that you wouldn’t get to spend time alone with Bradley like you had been looking forward to. you wouldn’t get to go on the spontaneous ice cream tip that was sure to happen after the fair or jam together in the Bronco with the windows down to songs his parents used to listen to. 

But your parents had been good, promising they’d let the two of you hang out for the day with a wink from Carole and a nudge from Maverick. 

And then-

“Bradley’s girlfriend showed up.” You mutter.

Your Dad hums. “I haven’t gotten to meet her yet. We not a fan?” He asks, eyes flickering to Carole. Carole shrugs, the patterned sundress moving with her. 

“She’s alright.” 

“No, she’s a fucking bitch.” You mutter under your breath, which earns a “Hey!” from Maverick and a flick against the head from Carole. 

“Watch your language.” Carole says sternly, shooting you a look as Bradley and his blonde cheerleader girlfriend come into view. “And be nice.” 

“Whatever.” You mutter under your breath as Bradley beams, sweaty under the California sun. 

“Hi Mom. Uncle Mav, this here’s my girlfriend Angelina.” 

Maverick nods as the girl waves. “Hi Mr. Mitchell, it’s nice to meet you. Bradley’s said so many good things about you. Mrs. Bradshaw, it’s good to see you.” 

“Kiss-ass.” You mutter, earning a pinch from Carole underneath the table. 

Carole waves a hand. “Angelina, I told you. Please call me Carole.” 

Bradley sits down, leaning his body against the table as he face his Mom. “We ran into April and Alex and all them.” 

Carole hums, finishing her ice cream. “Oh that’s fun!” 

“Yeah and I think they wanna go on a bunch of rides. So,” He says, sticking his palm out face-up. “I need money for tickets.” 

Carole sighs, face falling. “What happened to the money I gave you and the start of the day?” 

“I spent it on food!” He says, voice rising with defensiveness. 

“You teenage boys and your appetites.” She mutters with a shake of her head before digging through her bag on the table. “Okay, here. But this is all you’re getting for the rest of the day, do you hear me?” 

He grins, taking the money from her in an instant. “Thanks, Mom!” He says, leaning over to press a kiss on her cheek. “See you guys later!” He calls, grabbing Angelina’s hand as your Dad blinks, watching him go.

“Well, he couldn’t wait to get out of here.” He says, shaking his head as he looks down at your open hand. “And what do you want?” 

Carole smirks, leaning over the table to give you a high-five. 

You shoot her a glare, before turning back to your father. “Money.” 

“What do you need money for?” You Dad says with an incredulous look. 

“So I can call Slider and tell him I’m having a terrible time and I need him to pick me up.” 

Your Dad says your name, rolling his eyes. 

“I’m serious, I know he’s in town. I’ll even throw in fake tears if I have to. I just don’t want to stay here.” 

Your Dad sighs, moving to lean his arms against the table. “Are you really having that bad of a time? Go hang out with Brad and his friends, they all seem really nice.” 

You scoff. “Yeah, to you. They hate me. And Angelina’s a bitch. She’s all, rude and passive aggressive towards me, like I’m trying to steal her man. Like I haven’t known the kid since he was in his dinosaur phase and ran around the house with nothing but dino undies on, pretending to be a dinosaur because someone let him watch Jurassic Park.” 

Carole clicks her tongue and she tilts her head. “I will never forget Bradley climbing the bookshelf and nearly falling off.” 

“Yeah, yeah, he’s a real clumsy fool. Cash please?” 

Your Dad sighs. “Well- I-” 

He looks at Carole for help as the two communicate together silently in the way they do. 

You could only hope to have a friendship like they do some day, in the way that they’re family to one another, brother and sister, wholeheartedly nothing but platonic soulmates. 

Finally, Carole sighs. “Tell you what? Why don’t you and I go look at the photography exhibit and afterwards, we can go get you some funnel fries and share them and talk about the coolest pictures we saw like we like to do.” She leans forward, voice dropping down. “And, if you win any awards, I’ll take you out to dinner next week, just me and you. Wherever you want to go.”

You shrug. “I guess.” 

She sighs, leaning back up. “You wanna get in on this, Pete?” She says, jerking her head towards you. 

Your Dad’s head shoots up, eyes wide. “Uh...” He puts his hand out, awkwardly patting your shoulder. “Sorry.. you uh, don’t have any friends kiddo?” 

Carole groans, hand falling as she pinches the bridge of her nose. 

“I’m going home.” You say, standing up from the table.

-

“Hey, c’mhere.” Bradley says, grabbing your arms. You whirl around as he drags you up the ramp for the ferris wheel. 

“Where in the fuck did you come from?” 

“No time for questions, just walk.” 

“Bradshaw!” Someone shrieks and your head flies around, spotting Angelina storming after the two of you.

Bradley’s still dragging you along as you splutter, completely baffled. He hurriedly ushers you into the gondola as the attendant shuts the door behind the two of you, giving the pair of you a confused glance at the urgency in which he’s moving. 

Angelina is lost to the ground as the ferris wheel begins it’s rounds. Your eyes are still wide as you turn back to Bradley, who seems to be very proud of himself, arms leaning up agains the back of the gondola. 

“What the fuck was that?” 

Bradley shrugs and you try not to look at the way his t-shirt hugs his shoulders. “I broke up with Angelina.” 

You blink, tearing your eyes away from his body as they fly up to his face. “You did what?” 

“She needed to go. She was a bitch to you-”

“Don’t let your mother hear you call her that.” 

“-and mean to my friends and she was sleeping with Jameson Hall behind my back anyways.” 

You snap your fingers. “I knew it! told your mother she was a kiss-ass!” 

He chuckles. “I needed a quick escape and you were right there and I didn’t want you to get caught in her rage cross-fire.” 

“You know you’re gonna have to face her when we get back down, right?” He shrugs. 

“That’s a problem for later. What did you do today?” 

You shrug. “I don’t know, your Mom and I got funnel fries and watched Mav lose at all those carnival games cause I told him I wanted him to win me something. Oh, and we went to the photography exhibit-”

“Wait, I didn’t get to go, Angelina wouldn’t let me out of her sight. Did I win anything?” 

“You won nothing. I won first place for both of my submissions.” You say smugly, sitting back in your seat. 

He smiles, his eyes lighting up. “Hey, that’s not bad!” He says, reaching out for a high-five. You respond, smiling when an explosion sounds behind you. You crane in your seat to see the fireworks going off. 

“Hey, come sit with me on this side. That way you don’t have to twist in your seat and I don’t have to worry about you falling to your death.” 

You probably could’ve just shifted on the bench but you move to sit next to him anyways, squeezing in next to him. Bradley’s arm rests on your back as the two of you watch the colorful explosions in the sky. 

“I kind of think these are a fire hazard.” He mutters. 

You snort. “Hm, let me think. Fireworks in Southern California in summer. Yeah no, not a fire hazard at all.” 

You both break out into laughter as the ferris wheel continues on. 

“Did you have a good day?” 

You give a half-shrug. “Did you?” 

He nudges the back of your shoulder with his hand. He feels warms, even through your sweatshirt meant to keep you warm against the chilly ocean air. 

“Better now, that I get to spend it with you.” 

You roll your eyes. “Who’s the kiss-ass now?” 

"i think it all kinda feels like an orange show speedway/when you’re racing head first towards something that’ll kill you in five seconds flat/when i’m racing head first towards everything that i want back”

[flanaganfilm]

Hi Mike! I visited Governor's Island for the first time this summer and as I explored the semi-abandoned buildings, I was struck by how much it reminded me of Midnight Mass. Then a tour guide told me that Governor's Island inspired Crockett Island! Is this true? What influences did you draw from Governor's Island?

Absolutely! I grew up on Governors Island. It used to be a Coast Guard base, and my father was stationed there twice while I was growing up. We were there twice: from 1978-1981, and then again from 1987-1989.

I was an altar boy at Our Lady Star of the Sea Catholic Church.

My dad would frequently be out at sea for work. I got around on my bike, and the kids on the island would roam free most of the time.

We lived in Fort Jay, a renovated Civil War fort complete with a cannon in the backyard.

And whenever I could, I'd pay 75 cents for a ticket to a movie at the old theater on the island.

Quite a lot of my childhood experience on Governors Island made it into MIDNIGHT MASS.

Like Crockett, Governors Island was a very small community. Like Crockett, it was only accessible by ferry.

It was a wonderful place to grow up, and it shaped me pretty profoundly.

The island was purchased by the city after the Coast Guard shut down operations there. For years it was abandoned, but it's become a wonderful park. I try to visit whenever I can.

A lot of the old buildings are still there, like our old apartment in Fort Jay.

The church that was a major inspiration for St. Patrick's on MIDNIGHT MASS, where I used to serve mass as an altar boy, is there too, though it has been turned into an art installation.

And the old movie theater, where I spent so much time as a child falling in love with cinema, is still there as well. But it's seen better days.

Whenever I'm back there, I rent a bike and ride around the island, and I get lost in memories and nostalgia. Sometimes I even listen to Neal Diamond while I do it... just like I did when I was a kid.

I've gotten to bring my own kids to the island now. And Kate and I have gone glamping at Collective Retreats on the island a few times now (an experience I highly recommend).

Governors Island is a major part of my origin story, and shaped me (and my work) in ways I'll never entirely understand. But yes, to answer your question - Governors Island was a huge influence on MIDNIGHT MASS. From the moment you see Warren on his bike and the Neal Diamond music kicks in, I was digging deep into my memories as a kid living in one of the coolest small towns in America... nestled right in the heart of Manhattan.

I can't wait to go back next year.

[gegesusu]

Sebaciel‘s childhood sweetheartAU 4: The present

*English is not my first language

*It is just a concept story under Modern AU, where both Sebaciel living as normal human, met each other in their childhood. In this setting, they both have a normal family, and living in a normal life.

*[Ciel] do exist in this setting, so Bocchan will be called as he\ little one in this fiction. It’s annoying not to know his real name, but I do not want to make it up :

Part 1:

Sebastian doesn't seem to be all right these days. The little Phantomhive have some concern .

It does not mean he is in sick.No cough, fever, or runny nose, he is as healthy as always.

Then he did not do well on the test? However little once just heard from his parents that Sebastian got a perfect score on his school exams...

Or because Sebastian missed the cartoons he wanted to see yesterday...

[Ah, if it was me, I would be very sad, but not reasonable for Sebastian.]

Obviously, the possible reason in his mind not powerful enough to make Sebastian such an unhappy child these days. So what is it?

“What shall I do... Sebastian always cares for me so much! Now it’s my turn to care for him this time!”

How about a gift? So in a flash, the little one start his brainstorming:

【1, Make a surprise! Once,I had being in a bad mood because of the fight with my brother.Sebastian brought me a box, I opened, and a hand-made frog jumped out of it, and I was frightened in a moment since it was so out of sudden! At the same time. I laughed out loud because of the shock. Yeah, just scare away the bad stuff! Sebastian is a genius. I'm just a little surprised he likes pranks, but I don’t hate that, after all he hasn’t tried to scare me even once. Maybe he has noticed me having some bad days. He's always been very careful with me... Can I do it? Making something scary to make Sebastian happy again? That sounds strange, but I wonder if I could see a new expression of him?

2,How about a cake? Sebastian always brings us really good cakes.Mom always said sweet things make you feel good. I can make him a cake in return! But, Can I even able to make it? If I can't make it as good as Sebastian makes it, I'll buy it myself. I don't know if there's enough money in the Piggy Bank... No! it will be pointless if it didn't do it myself!

3 Let’s take a trip somewhere！That time Sebastian took me climbing a tree, I could see the place so far, far away. I heard that a traveling can change the mood, so if I took him to that“Far away place”could work? But I don’t know where it was, and how to get there, can I go there by bus, train or plane? Do I have enough pocket money to buy a ticket? Can I

come back that day? Sebastian's mom and dad will be worried if they come home too late... What if he gets scolded when he gets home? I don’t want that happen to him.

4 A picture book! I have a collection of picture books, every time I will take out at a lonely moment and I can have a nice dream, it is a magic book! Oh, and Sebastian read it to me last week when he sleepover at our house, we were lying in bed together, and I leaned against him, and he read it to me. Sebastian has a beautiful voice, and if he sings me a lullaby, I'll fall asleep right away, and he smells good, not like mom, but reassuring, and just as I'm about to fall asleep, he patted my head. . 】

“No, no, no. I have to think about what to give to Sebastian. I can't think about anything else!” To clear his mind, he shaked his head again and again.

But they are actually about Sebastian. He do not know when it began, the figure of that older boy have been in his mind and brain for a long time.

“Why am I always thinking about Sebastian?”

Even he have brother already, and Sebastian could be count as his brother too, Why are they mean so different to him?

And when every time he think of Sebastian,his face would be turning hot, and his heart started beating faster as if it is about to explode.

Is it because he think too much? The little one thought.

Come to think of it, Sebastian did a lot of things for him, made him a lot of delicious desserts, took him out to experience all kinds of things, told him a lot of interesting story and knowledge. Sebastian always understood him and stayed with him when he needed. However,he had never given something proper in return to Sebastian. At the same time , he knew nothing about Sebastian.

Well, He did know Sebastian likes cats better than dogs.( it is the only topic they have a conflict about) He doesn't seem to be interested in girls, but he is good at anything, he never mentioned other things he likes …

Oh, and the last time Sebastian's mother visited, she did mentioned. “He used to be like a little adult at home, but he's suddenly become a little more lively out of blue these days after the party, it’s like he have been a different person!”

[Isn’t Sebastian always lively? Why does his mother say that? There is a different Sebastian whoI don't Know in another place?]

Rachel just chuckled softly.

[I really don't know Sebastian, how could I possibly give him a gift to make him happy again?]

Part 2:

“**， do you have any dreams for when you grow up?”

“HMM?” The Little Phantomhive who sitting beside Sebastian while making something,he looked up and met this inquiry in a sudden.

Yesterday Lizz showed him how to make a wreath, and today he wanted to make one for Sebastian.

“Well...” something is on his mind, he feel a kind of stiff when he is trying to say something.“Yes... but it's nothing special... You might think it's childish.”

“I would never call you childish, and of course, I won't allow others to say it.”

Maybe it's because the wishes of a child are equally childish, but even so, Sebastian's words were sweet.

Sebastian always knows what to do to make him feeling eased.

“Okay …so I said... I want to open a toy store.”

“ A Toy Store?”

“Well, because I was… weak when I was still little, and I was always being alone in my room, it wasn't so lonely to have toys around. With these toys, I can build a world of my own, and I think that's Amazing!”

“Well, it's cool to build your own world!”

“Yes! Ah... You don’t think I'm naive, do you?”

“No, I think it's very you. I like it.”

... Even an ordinary word from him is with the power to move the heart. Is Sebastian a magician?

“So... is there anything Sebastian would like to do in the future?”

Sebastian paused, looked up at the contrail sewed into the sky, and said:

“I. . . never have a specific goals like you do,but I'd like to try to see the world.”

“The world...”

“Yeah, something like go to China once and see if the Great Wall is really that long, or if there are actually mummified zombies exist in the pyramids...”

“Mummies! That's Cool!”

When looking the sparkle in this little one’s eyes, Sebastian smiled and continued:

“Then I will learn about the culture, learn all kinds of things, and become a better adult.”

He stretched out his hand firmly to the sky, and a goal was set in his mind.

Sebastian is so great! He will travels all over the earths and going to explore his potential . He has already been very capable enough to do anything, he is still looking for more chance to get progress. As if he is Sebastian, any dream cannot be a hardship.

But then...

“Are you... going to leave me?”

Regret raised just as the words slipped out of his mouth, he quickly covered by his hands, but it was too late.

{ what am I talking about! ? Why would I say it out ！？} He really want to punch myself who just said it out...

The two were silent for a while, and the elder one’s replied.

"Yes”

The sound of the wind blew away,the whisper of birds faded,the rustle of leaves stopped, only leaving their echo in the hole of his heart.

I wish this sentence was just a joke, but you won't lie to me, is it?

It was his dream, like he keep supporting me, and I should also support him like he did, but, why I am so hate him to leave me here alone... I should ask him not go, then, Sebastian may promise not to leave...

No, I had no right to stop him from having a his dream, but now I just eagerly want him to give it up for me? I'm such a -- I'm such a selfish, horrible friend! Bad friend! Bad!Bad!

The wild sky above him overwhelming him. Like it will crash him any moment.The vastness of the sky is the stage for Sebastian's future, and about him, he is just an audience who can do nothing about the actor on the stage. He felt he is drowning into the sea of the people, he never have breathed so loud after stay with Sebastian. He felt closed to his edge of asthma going to relapase.

Just when he thought he was drowning into it, the Actor make another sound to drag him back to the earth:

“But I will come back to be with you.”

The drowner stop breathing harshly and look at the actor.

“Oh! I mean…. If I haven't found my dream by then, Can I come to help your toy store Dream”

the actor seems a little panic in a sudden and he shyly scratched his face with his finger. Like the words he just said are not from the script, but from his own heart.

But that is not important, because these words are just for that little audience. These words swept away the sadness, but keep the tear of joy on his face.

“Will... will you be with me then, as always, forever?” He urgently grabbed Sebastian's arm and let the tears fall, afraid he will be disappear at any moment.

“Yes, we'll never be apart after then”Sebastian took out a handkerchief and wiped one tear and another from little one’s cheek.

{I'm so happy that Sebastian said she wants to be with me forever

Even if he went to a far away place, after that he would choose to return to my side, not his parents, or others, just my side.

The Birthday Chocolate Cake, the Christmas present, but this is even better.

Sebastian won't lie. He always keeps his word, so I'll believe him!

One day, he will back on his own, and I also want to be stronger at them” so that I can be strong enough to stand with him one day, I also want to grow up to a better adult!}

So he wiped his tear on him own, and made the decision.

The Breeze brushed the dew off the buds, bloomed.

“We had a deal! I will also try my best to grow up bigger and better, and make our all dreams come true!”

Tears have fallen with the wind, leaving the most brilliant smile.

It shone on Sebastian's eyes like a grain of sunlight cross through a leaf onto the grass, small,but enough to turn into a star among those leaves.

For the first time, Sebastian felt he all he wanted is nothing more than what was right in front of him.

So the knight touched his Little Lord.

And got the gift he has longing for….

[builtaworldwithyourlove]

Free Falling

Chapter Three

1.9k/ (eventual) husband!joel x f!reader /minors dni

‘I felt very still and very empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel’

Summary: you take the leap to leave your stagnant relationship, and end up falling into the arms of a man who will give you the life you always dreamed of. 

Content: loveless relationship, mention of TW: domestic violence, emotional abuse, age gap (reader is mid-late 20s, Joel is late 30s-mid 40s), angst,smut, fluff, oc(reader’s ex-boyfriend and friends/family), mention of reader grieving loss of her dad, swearing, smoking, alcohol consumption, lovely lovely baby boy Joel, reader is a sweetheart, sexual tension, tiny bit of heavy petting🤸🏻, some physical description of reader, date night, teasing, inappropriate toe groping🤨, i need me a joel miller asap, oral (f!receiving), strawberries are involved, cum eating (sorry🙂‍↔️)

🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷

It was a hectic rush trying to get the girls home in order to give you enough time to Sunday reset plus get ready for date night.

1 New Message- Joel:

‘You’re not allergic to anything are you?’’

You:

‘Plotting my murder already Mr Miller?’

Joel:

‘Call me Mr Miller again and I think I’ll be the one dying🫣’

You:

‘Duly noted…. Mr Miller’

Joel:

‘Get ready and stop teasing me.’

You smiled at your phone like a mad woman. Leo followed you step by step, getting under your feet as usual, but ultimately stopping and giving up when you slipped off your robe and he curled up amongst it.

🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷

Joel knocked on your door. You brushed out your pin curls, and ran down the stairs. 

He stood there with a bunch of roses, a bottle of prosecco and a crate of strawberries.

Your eyes watered and Joel swiped his thumb under your eye to stop you crying.

‘Come on baby, I’m not that bad am I?’ Joel had his hands full but you lunged into him and held him tightly.

He gave you the prosecco which you popped in the fridge, and he followed you through the kitchen. 

He pulled you close and kissed you. You wore an orange sundress, with cut outs either side of the waist. It was floor length and you had to lift it ever so slightly when walking. Joel scrunched it in his hand and ran his fist up your thigh. 

‘Now this I like,’ he growled. You gently bit and pulled on his bottom lip.

He smacked your ass and left you high and dry. ‘Come on baby, we’ve got some dating to do.’

You poured him a half measure of red whilst he waited, and you went upstairs to reapply your lipstick and add your jewellery and perfume. You picked your shoes and purse, and met Joel in the hallway. He had cut your flowers and arranged them in a vase, then set them upon the white marble table you had in the centre of the room.

‘Let’s go, Mr.’

🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷

Joel drove the truck back to his house and you walked to the train station, which was the next road up from Joel.

He had prepaid for your tickets and you started your journey into the city.

‘You’re pulling out all the stops. Do this for all the ladies?’ You snarked, teasing was in your blood.

‘Only the ones that deserve it’ he smiled and winked at you. You tilted your head and patted his side. 

He smelt so good. The fresh mint on his breath, the scent of his hair product and the musk of his aftershave. You leaned your body up against him, enjoying the close proximity as you waited to disembark.

He grabbed your hand and led you to the restaurant.

🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷

‘I know it’s a cliche, but I figured you liked the finer things in life’ Joel said bashfully.

‘I would’ve let you stay the night last night without a date’ you winked.

‘Bold of you to assume I’m finishing the date after that.’ He gently cupped your chin in his hands. You felt heat rise at how much of you he could fit in his palm and how close he was to you.

You swallowed dryly, and he swept a stray hair off of your eyelashes.

🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷

Joel ordered a sancerre for you to share. Out of habit, you went to pour the glass for Joel. You had never been wined and dined like this, it was always a 5 buck bottle of wine and takeout with James. 

He swatted your hand away and frowned. He nodded and filled up your glass. You found his leg with your foot under the table, slipped off your Oran sandal and ran your foot up and down his calves. Being peak summer, you got to enjoy the full feeling of Joel’s muscular legs, and he reciprocated the appreciation by clenching his jaw and grabbing your ankle under the table.

‘One sniff of wine and this is how you behave’ You squealed then spluttered and held a laugh in so hard you thought you might pass out.

Joel stared at you through a smile and patted your leg. 

The waiter approached asking you for your food order. The devil on your shoulder took the reigns, and as Joel was mid sentence, you placed your foot on inbetween his legs and started to paw at his crotch.

He sharply inhaled and coughed. He knew he had the upperhand with you though, and he adjusted himself on the chair, leaning back passing the menus to the waiter and thrusting his hips upwards into your foot.

A wave of lust crashed in your stomach and you squirmed in your seat. 

Joel shook his head incredulously and licked his lips as he sniggered to himself. 

You leaned over the table to kiss him. ‘Thank you for tonight, Joel.’

You both managed to stop the antics and enjoy grown up conversation. You opened up about your life, your childhood, your family. Joel did the same, you shared tears and smiles and your hearts grew fonder by the second. 

‘Bill and bedtime?’ Joel held your hand in the middle of the table and you both necked the remainder of your wine in unison.

🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷

You finished up at the restaurant and strolled back to the station and headed home.

Your arm was interlocked with Joel’s the whole time, and you spoke about so much yet nothing at all.  The wine made everything funnier than it should be, and all shyness and first date jitters had been subdued.

Joel walked you home. It was only 9pm and it was still a bright summer evening. 

‘Nightcap?’ You asked at the threshold of your home.

‘I’m taking the date was a success then.’

‘I don’t ever want you to go’ you whispered, as Joel traced a line across your collarbones.

🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷

You poured two glasses of drink, slipped off your shoes and laid your purse, keys and phone on the worktop.

A firm hand scooped your hair into a ponytail before letting it fall down your back. 

Joel planted kisses down the side of your neck, behind your ear, and round to your jawline. He nibbled on your earlobe and your breath hitched as goosebumps covered every part of your body.

You reached up and around, holding Joel’s head close to you, and pulling him in. Your back arched and your pelvis tilted back into him as he unzipped your dress. His hands grabbed you firmly on your hips and he lifted you up onto the counter.

He kissed you softly, one hand rested on the back of your neck, and the other holding your thigh which was wrapped around his waist. 

You both broke away and took your drink down in one. Joel caught the strawberry between his teeth. He brought it up to your lips and you took a bite. The look in his eyes was animalistic, and the dress you were wearing was soon in a pile on the kitchen floor. He kneeled down and ran the half eaten strawberry up your inner thigh, then traced the pale red line with his tongue.

‘Is this okay?’ Joel pressed a kiss to your thigh and held your hands.

‘Yes. Have all of me’ you breathed heavily. Your knuckles turned pale as you held the edge of the counter with dear life.

A cold breeze caught you by surprise as the summer air caught onto the wet stripe up your thigh. Joel hooked his fingers under the thin waistband of your underwear. Using this, he pulled himself up closer to you.

The bridge of his nose pressed into you and he dragged his bottom lip up over your lace covered core. He pulled your underwear to the side and delved into you like you were the last meal on Earth. Both of his hands were behind you, grabbing onto your ass and pulling you onto his face, practically suffocating him. He licked stripes up your folds and paid attention to your clit. His tongue danced upon you and he stretched you out with two of his fingers simultaneously. You rebalanced yourself as both of his hands were soon to be occupied, as he took himself in his right hand and succumbed to the lust. The grunts and moans were obscene, and you were so drunk on this feeling. You caught a glimpse of his naked lower half, and you instantly felt flushed. You rocked your hips and pressed yourself against his tongue, and he drew an orgasm out of you in no time. He came just after you. You pulled his hand up toward your lips and cleaned his two fingers, relishing in the taste of you and him combined.

He grabbed the kitchen towel from you and cleaned himself up. He stood up and kissed you. You couldn’t help but still be turned on by the wetness of his beard. He licked his bottom lip,and smiled. You fell onto his shoulder and laughed.

‘Holy fuck, I’ve never come so fast in my life’ you were in disbelief. ‘I think you’ve ruined every other man for me now.’

‘Good. I don’t want you to be anyone else’s’ Joel kissed you, and picked you up in his arms.

He carried you up the stairs and ran you a bath.

‘Big day tomorrow?’ He asked.

‘Lots of meetings, lots of work, lots of missing you.’

He was crouched by the bath, monitoring the temperature and swirling around the bubbles. 

He walked into your room where he had left you and almost crumbled at the sight of your body. Unclothed and glowing. He kicked off his shoes, and walked towards you. He crawled onto the bed and let his full body weight compress you. Limbs were everywhere as you tried to enjoy the last drop of eachother before it was time to go. He kissed you greedily and grinded onto you.

‘Bath’s ready. I better make a move baby’ he grinned, knowing full well you were craving him still. He knew he couldn’t let on that he needed you just as much.

He picked up your robe, draped it over you and you walked him downstairs.

‘Thank you for tonight baby. You’re real special to me, I hope you know that.’ Joel stroked your hair back and kissed you again.

‘The pleasure is all mine. Thank you for treating me like a princess. Text me when you get home. 

‘Bye baby.’

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Next week had been planned meticulously and your daily routines had been set up. The outfits had been organised and your home was spotless. Joel had run the bath hot enough for you to sweat out the wine, and you had a herbal tea to set you up nicely for the morning.

Joel had called you to let you know he was home, and you exchanged kind words and compliments.

‘I miss you already’ Joel said.

You looked at the semi dry patch of paint on your wall where Joel had repaired the hole left by your ex.

Was it too soon? Were you healed or distracted? Did you heal before you’d broken things of with James, knowing you were preparing for the inevitable. 

‘Baby?’ Joel whispered.

‘I miss you too. I’ll see you soon baby.’

‘Call me in the morning before work, we’ll plan the next time.’ Joel sounded chipper but uneasy.

‘I can’t wait. Night,my sweet.’

You couldn’t shake the feeling that this could turn out to not be right for you, but you hadn’t give James a second thought. Even tonight, James only crossed your mind because you were close to self sabotage.

You texted your mum goodnight. She responded and sent the link to your horoscope for the weekend, as she always does on Sundays.

‘The Universe has no timeline. What’s meant for you will find a way.’

You scrolled to your phone for a picture that you took of Joel and yourself after dinner. It replaced your old lockscreen, and you smiled.

Maybe the universe is right, you thought, I’m exactly where I deserve to be. 

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@iamsherlocked-1998

@sugakookieswithmilk

@galway-girlatwork

[lululawrence]

Why is hell breaking loose tomorrow?

Oh it’s for me personally, not like fandom wise or anything lololol

See, just over a week ago my dad fell down the stairs and dislocated his knee which then meant he has been in a brace for over a week and needs surgery. All of this meant he couldn’t take the trip across the country with my mom for my niece’s birthday and baptism that he was meant to leave for 36 hours after his fall, so my daughter took the ticket to see her cousins. That said, it’s left me as the caretaker for my dad and I’ve needed to get him to all his appointments and help him prep for surgery and get everything taken care of for his post surgery care as well all while dealing with my youngest two children and all that life already usually throws at us for the past ten days.

But that’s the calm before the storm, see. Cause tomorrow is the surgery. It’s outpatient, which means all post-op care is up to us and my mom is still across the country. So I’m the one who has to get him to the hospital, be there during surgery, etc etc etc as well as his immediate post op care once we are home. Thankfully my husband got the day off so he could be with the boys while I’m at the hospital and busy with all of that.

However. A lot a lot a lot of appointments and other regularly scheduled life things that are required for my kids’ various needs had been put on hold since I had anticipated not having the additional assistance with child care while my parents were out of town, so things have been fairly chill on that end the last week and a half, but see my mom and daughter fly home tomorrow and that means alllllllll those appointments that had been building up plus the additional before school starts appointments and sessions and sports practices and shopping for school supplies and everything will all be kicking off basically now too AND!!! What time does the flight arrive thus requiring me at the airport? 1:10 am. So after a day at the hospital and caring for my dad, I’ll be picking up my mom and daughter in the middle of the night from the airport.

If that was all I would chalk it up to a crazy 24 hours, but I’m not even gonna break down the way we have at least four conflicting schedule issues on Thursday and Friday alone with appointments and therapies that cannot be rescheduled due to time constraints and other issues, and my mom will probably be jet lagged and exhausted and of no help plus my husband will be back at work and my dad will still be recovering and needing care post op…….

Oh and wordplay sign ups open tomorrow morning. And the one day a week I’ve worked VERY. VERY. VERY HARD to get for myself so I gave some sense of sanity and doing something for myself was supposed to be tomorrow night and that… is no longer happening. And I need to get to the grocery store and finish laundry so the travelers can use the wash for all of their clothes when they return and the house is a disaster and I haven’t meal planned past today and the garden is practically overgrown with weeds and….

So yeah. All hell breaks loose for me tomorrow. As far as I know for everyone else it’ll be just another Wednesday. 😂

Anyway. If yall would like to send us prayers and good vibes tomorrow so my dad’s surgery goes as well as possible, I sure would appreciate it. And sorry for kinda ranting at you in response when you likely did not need to know any of this 😂😂😂

[munsonsreputation]

#4 taylor x stranger things 🧣

Eddie Munson with You’re On Your Own Kid?

Maybe focused about the lyrics “Writing in my room

I play my songs in the parking lot” as soon as I heard those lyrics while first listening to midnights I thought of him immediately!

hi katya!!!!!

i love this request so much and i hope you like the take that i took on your request!! it's something different, but i thought this point of view made sense <3

thank you for this request and all the sweet comments...i means the world to me!!!! 🌎💫💘

Eddie hated getting emotional, or at least he used to especially when he was a little kid still living with his drunk off his ass dad. Living in that type of environment made it hard for him to express how he felt.

If he was angry, sad, disappointed, hurt, or even over the moon happy—he didn’t quite know what to make of those feelings and instead locked them away to avoid getting a drunken lecture or a smack across the cheek for being too emotional.

It wasn’t until Eddie moved in with his uncle Wayne that he learned how to cope with these emotions. How emotions were actually a good thing, and Wayne wanted to know how Eddie was feeling. That if there was anything he could do to make him feel better, he would do it in a heartbeat. That there was no such thing as being “too” emotional. That everything feeling good or bad meant something that it was important to talk to someone about it.

But of course, Wayne wasn’t always home. He worked his ass off to pay the bills and make rent, all while making sure his nephew continued school and had a fruitful future that could get him out of this town.

But he didn’t know that Eddie had his own ticket out and it was through something deeper that would touch the lives of many.

Songwriting had become a sort of therapy for the young boy. Most times it was just random sentences, almost like a diary entry that was written across the pages of his notebook. But those sentences later turned into lyrics, those of which would be carried by a guitar that Wayne gifted him for a birthday.

It started just as simple as it sounded. Writing in his room while strumming that guitar as he sang out the words until it became something to him. Like the words and tune had taken a life of its own and, for once in his life, Eddie felt proud of himself.

He felt even prouder to know that he kept songwriting and playing that guitar going for the last ten years. In high school, he founded his own band, others who also enjoyed writing and jamming out in empty parking lots just so people could hear them. It wasn’t until their senior that they got picked up by the bar that they played out of. Offering him and his band a weekend to play, letting his lyrics be heard by many more ears.

All of it seemed like a wild dream that he was chasing without ever having a map, but he was determined, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to quit anytime soon. He had one plan in mind: to keep making music, get the hell out of Hawkins, and bring his uncle with him.

So maybe the road wasn’t smooth. The journey wasn’t easy. But it all came down to one thing, and that was feeling. Feeling like he was where he was meant to be. Feeling like he belonged. Feeling like there was a world out there where he could be heard. Feeling like everything was going to fall into place one day.

And it felt like today was one of the days.

“I’m fuckin’ nervous as shit.” Eddie’s leg shook up and down as you giggled, clutching his hand in yours while he squeezed down on it.

“Just take a deep breath in babe.” You instructed him coolly.

Repeating the breathing exercises that he mimicked, trying to get ahold of his emotions right now. Not knowing if he could keep it together any longer. It all felt too surreal. He never thought he’d be sitting in this room with a bunch of people he looked up to growing up. That the people he listened to and inspired his own writing was coming up to him and congratulating him on an exciting debut album.

“Win or lose, you’ve had a great year kid.” Wayne spoke lowly, patting him on the back where he sat on the other side of him.

Wayne was right. Eddie had an amazing year as a solo artist and while it sucked having to watch his band, go after other dreams, you were more than proud of him for sticking around and making it through, fueled by his own determination and will to pursue this career.

You just knew that he was meant for this. That the second you heard that boy in the bar singing about sprinkler splashes and fireplace ashes that he was going to be something big. Eddie Munson was more than a pretty metal head, but surely one that had something to say and deserved to be heard—and you were just grateful that you could be along for the ride to see him grow and be loved around the world, just like you and Wayne loved him.

“And the winner for album of year goes to…”

Eddie closed his eyes, clutching your hand tighter and feeling the squeeze that Wayne was giving his shoulder in anticipation for the next words the announcers would peep.

“The Banished, Eddie Munson!”

A gasp left your lips, slinging your arms across his neck as you pulled him into a hug and the arena erupted in applauses and cheers. Wayne was busy celebrating to himself, clapping his hands and hollering out the words, “I knew! I knew it, son!”

“Holy shit! I love you,” He stammered in your ear, hugging you tight, feeling the happy tears you were weeping fall across his neck.

You sniffled, pulling away, as you grabbed his cheeks and stared at him lovingly, “I love you too! Now go get your award, rockstar!”

Eddie smiled, kissing you deeply before finally standing up. Reeling in the people who were on their feet for him as he walked through the aisle and up the velvet stairs where the presenters proudly handed him his award and gave him a hug.

“Wow….Jesus, I just need a second.” Eddie shook his head, looking out into the abyss of people that extended from the floor out into the stands where the flashing of cameras and cheers never ended.

“I just gotta say thank you to everyone who voted for me…” He paused, holding up his award and shoving it towards the camera, “and this would not be possible without the fans. Without my long-time friends, Corroded Coffin…this is for you guys. I wouldn’t be here without ya’ and I miss you guys every day.”

He paused, letting everyone clap before he continued, placing the trophy down onto the glass stand as he took a moment to breathe and try to collect everything he was feeling and put it into the right amount of words.

“For a long time, I thought I was just writing out of my ass to be honest with you,” He chucked, as did everyone else who laughed along, “but, uh, I’ve noticed that every song I’ve written has correlated to something I’m feeling in the moment…and when I was younger, when this whole dream started, it was about feeling alone.”

He shook his head, looking down as he could feel the tears springing to his eyes just thinking about how far he had come.

“But I’m thankful I found songwriting because it gave me that outlet to say anything—to be heard for once. And I just want to dedicate this award to my twelve-year-old self…”

Eddie Munson looked deeply into that camera, shooting that gaze towards the thousands in attendance and the millions watching from home in awe.

“Twelve-year-old me, I’ve got a message for ya,” He sniffled, smiling as the happy tears slipped down his cheeks, “Y-you made it! You’ve got your uncle! The love of your life! People who love your music!”

His voice cracked, as the cheers got louder and everyone at home watching from their couches seemed to get choked up as well.

“You’re not alone, kid!”

And that’s when Eddie Munson knew he made it. To see himself finally up on the stage that he once dreamed of being on with his girlfriend and his uncle clapping proudly because they knew it, too. All of those empty parking lots and dingy bars brought him here. The blood, sweat, and tears poured out into something good.

Something that would last and let the outcasts like Eddie know that they weren’t alone.

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[beaker1636]

First Christmas - Vinny Mauro

Background: Y/N is the newest drum tech for Motionless and they are on tour, only having 2 days off for Christmas it was spent away from home and in a hotel.  I also made her dad a famous musician in this but never said who so…. Theres that.

Also Welcome to Christmas in September thanks to @tearfallpixie and @nerdraging4point0 encouraging my unhinged ass to post a Christmas fic in September. Also please be gentle, this is literally 3 years old so back when I first began writing fanfics so while I think it is cute and love it I also can recognize that I have come a long way and would have changed a lot if I wrote it now! Enjoy!

Well, like usual you were awake before the boys, not that it bothered you any as it gives you some peace to yourself before you are forced to figure out whatever is going on this time.

“We all are still gathering in Rick and Vin’s room this morning, correct?” You send in the group chat before walking into the hotel lobby to grab some coffee from the in house coffee shop.  In doing so you accidentally bump into Gabby, Rick’s girlfriend who just flew in and he has no clue about.

“Hey y/n,” she says, pulling you into a hug. “Has Ricky figured any of this out yet?”

“Not a single person has a clue that I arranged with you to fly in for Christmas.  I figure we can still do the secret santa thing with it… just like we planned hence me paying for your ticket,” you tease, smiling at her and happy to help make her and Ricky’s Christmas special.

Both of you grab a coffee and then make your way up to your hotel room, she didn’t book one as she figured she could stay in your room with you and then with Rick once he knows.

“Do you mind if I jump in the shower quick? It was a long flight and I could really use it,” she asks you, the hint of jetlag visible on her face but still not outweighing the excitement that is there.

You nod and as she does so you quickly get dressed, not bothering to try much because it is just the guys and they have all seen you in your lounge wear so you just throw on jeans and a hoodie… that you are pretty sure you stole from Vinny but you don’t remember anymore honestly.

Your phone dings and you finally get a response from someone in the group chat, Chris.

“Yeah, we are all planning on it in like an hour, still correct?” he asks.

After multiple replies that say that is correct you set your phone down when Gabby steps out of the shower, getting to work on her hair and makeup as she wants to look decent for the first time she is seeing Rick in months.

“I’m anxious and we have a little time left, can I do your makeup y/n? I know you hate doing it yourself,” she asks you, already coming towards you while hoping that you will say yes.

“Sure if you want to, it will kill time,” you respond as you get your makeup bag out, avoiding her eye contact when your mood falls slightly.  “Honestly I didn’t plan to do it  because I know at some point today I will probably cry being the first Christmas since losing dad.”

“It will be a rough day for you for sure, but you still will have all of us here for you today.  We all love you and are here for you.  The boys already have said that they aren’t going to let you leave if you try.  I also think there is one that really loves having you here… close your eyes,” she says, teasing you about your not so hidden crush on Vin.

“Yeah, only because I keep fixing all his broken shit,” you respond as you do as she asks, closing your eyes,

“We all know that is not the only reason why he likes you, but whatever, keep lying to yourself.  Open up and I’ll finish with your lashes,” she says to you.

You choose to ignore what she just said but do open your eyes, glad that she is almost done and that you can get away from this awkward conversation.  You love your best friend and love that she got you this job… but she definitely can be irritating when she chooses to tease you about things.

“Well, get your bow on Gab, it’s time to be there and I can’t wait for everyone to find out my secret santa gift for Rick,” you say, helping her put her bow in her hair before you sneak off ahead of her towards the hotel room you are all meeting in, she follows behind you keeping back so that when Vin let you in the door nobody sees her.

You instantly walk in and demand that you get to give Rick his gift first as you had to leave it in the hallway as you find a seat on the floor, Vin taking a seat next to you.

“Okay, so clearly my gift is for Rick and I am not trying to rush anything but even if we wait for everyone elses he has to go get it like now.  Sorry, it was too big so it’s in the hallway still,” you say with a smile as you watch the confusion on his and everyone else's faces as he makes his way towards the door.

“What the fuck could you have gotten thats too big to bring in?” Ryan asks you softly as everyone watches the door.

The second the door opens you hear a gasp and look up to see Rick pulling Gabby into a tight hug and kiss, clearly happy that he gets to see her for the holiday.  Everyone starts chatting to let them have their moment, waiting for them to come into the room before continuing.  

Rick instantly pulls you into a hug when they do, whispering a thank you in your ear which makes you blush and smile, excited that you did something that he really appreciated.

They all slowly make their way around the room, everyone passing out their secret santa gifts, laughing and having a great time before it’s finally your turn to open yours.

“Okay y/n, last gift is yours and clearly it is Vin who drew you so,” Chris trails off glancing over at you.

“Wait, give me a second to start recording before she gets it… okay and go,” Ricky says, you now embarrassed about the fact that for some reason Rick is recording only you opening your gift.

“Can I ask why the hell you are only recording my gift?” You ask, looking up and annoyed about the prospect of being recorded.

“Your sister helped me with your gift and made me promise that we would get a video of your reaction.” Vinny says as he hands you a rather big box.

“Oh god, should I be scared about this?” You ask, trying to make a light joke to make things less awkward.

You slowly remove the paper, slightly disappointed to see that the box is plain.  Opening the box it takes you a second to register what is going on, but when you do you can’t help the gasp that escapes your lips as you slowly pull the blanket that is in the box out, instantly tears are flowing down your face.

“It’s…. How did you?” you can’t even get your words out as you look closely at all the details of the quilt that is in front of you.

“I got your sisters phone number from Gabby so I could ask if she had one of your dad’s band tour shirts so that I could have one of those bears made with it for you and she mentioned that she had an entire tote full of old merch shirts that he kept over the years.  So I asked my mom who sews a lot to help me make a t-shirt quilt of all of them for you.  I knew that having something of your dad’s for Christmas would mean a lot more than something stupid from the store,” he says, watching you with a big smile when he can clearly see how much you love it.

You glance up at him, meeting his eyes with tears still falling from yours. “I-I love it, I.. thank you,” you say softly, leaning over to pull him into a hug. 

He moved slightly, pulling you into his chest while you cry, a hand moving to brush through your hair to comfort you as you cry. 

“Okay so can I look at it? I haven’t seen it yet,” Gabby asks, you nod your head without moving, still needing another second to compose yourself.  Listening to everyone around you talk while you gather yourself.

Slowly you get yourself a bit more composed and lift your head away from Vin’s chest, wiping at your eyes with the sleeves of your hoodie before realizing that some of your makeup is on Vinny’s shirt now from where you cried.

“Shit, sorry Vin, I didn’t mean to stain your shirt,” you mumble glancing down, embarrassed.

“It’ll wash off, I don’t mind,” he responds softly with a smile. “You on the other hand, why don’t we go wash it off your face now that you look like us after a show.” 

You can’t help but giggle at his awful joke as you get up and make your way to the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth to wet in the sink, unaware that Vinny has followed you until you see him in the mirror behind you. 

“Here, let me help you.  After all I am the reason that you are crying,” he says  as he gently takes the washcloth out of your hands to begin cleaning your face with it, careful not to rub your skin too roughly.

Once he is done he pulls you into another hug for a minute, just standing there holding you for a moment before you both make your way back out to the main part of the room towards everyone else, both of you standing in the doorway for a second while you watch everyone talk.

“Hey guys look up,” Chris says with a smirk as you both glance up at the ceiling.

You instantly blush bright red when you realize that what he was trying to show you was mistletoe that is hanging from the bathroom door frame, no clue what you should do in the moment.

“What the fuck? I don’t remember us putting any up?” Vin asks, glancing at Rick with a confused expression on his face.

“That’s because there wasn’t, I just hung it up while you both were in the bathroom so we can trap you guys.  Figured the two of you deserved a second gift,” Justin says, winking at both of you when you look at him as he speaks.

“And you did ask us how you should make a move so we decided to make it for you,” Ryan adds with a laugh.

“None of you are going to shut up until I actually do it are you?” Vinny asks, glancing around the room while avoiding your gaze as everyone nods at the two of you. “Fuck, please don’t punch me for this.” he says softly.

Next thing you know his hand settles on your cheek, lightly making you look up at him.  For a second he hesitates, and you aren’t fully sure what you expect until you feel his lips gently on your own.  You hesitate yourself before you start to kiss him back, shy and unsure what to think when he pulls away, both of you quiet as you process what has just happened between the two of you.  

“You’re welcome,” Chris says loudly. “Now stop being shy and admit that you both want to be with each other so the damn tension is finally gone…. And then we will figure out Christmas dinner.”

Feeling shy you go and take your seat on the floor again, embarrassed but honestly happy with what just happened.  Even more so when Vin rejoins his spot next to you and takes your hand, pulling you into his side as his way to confirm that Chris was right and he does like you without saying it out loud.  You can’t help but think that you should probably talk about everything but decide to enjoy the moment while it lasts, the two of you can always talk about this at a later time when you are alone. 

[uses-for-fics]

Are you ashamed of me?

Anders Holmvik/ Fem Reader

a/n: he looks so cute right here!! i cant explain it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had been working overtime the past whole week, so you had not been able to meet up with your boyfriend, Anders, for a few days. After work, you were too exhausted to hang out with him and would instead eat, take a shower, and head straight to bed. You were putting in extra hours to save up for your upcoming anniversary, which coincided with the Norwegian food festival that you had bought tickets for a few weeks ago. You planned to spoil him with every dish his heart desired. Since you were getting off work around 3 pm today, you decided to head over to his place after work. Expecting him to arrive not long after you had reached his place. You approached the door and heard loud mechanical sounds from inside. After knocking again, you finally received a response of "GOING!". A blood-covered Blake opened the door. He smiled realizing it was you. “Oh! Hey y/n! No overtime today?”

You raised a brow at how nonchalant he was behaving even though he was covered head to toe in blood. “Yeah, I finally saved up enough so no more overtime this week and I'm off work tomorrow, so I got Anders all to myself.” Blake made space for you to come in.

He winced as you passed by. “Ooo if only you were here a bit earlier.” you turned to look at him. “What do you mean?”

“You don't know?” he tilted his head.

“Know what?” You stopped in place.

“Anders isn't here!” Adam yelled from the kitchen. “Where is he?” you yelled back, heading towards the kitchen. “HIS DAD- oh you're here now.” Adam stopped yelling after seeing you walk into the kitchen.

“Oh my god! What are you guys doing?” you gasped. The kitchen was covered in blood. Adam was attacking a strung-up cow with a chainsaw, not caring where the blood was splattering.

“We're making jerky.” Blake had finally reached the kitchen.

“What? Ok, you know what, not important. Where's Anders?” you shook your head. Adam put down the chainsaw. “His dad came for him. They're out buying a car right now.

"Oh." You looked down soaking in the new information. 'Why wouldn't he tell you his father was in town? Was he ashamed of you?' You shook your head not trying to imagine the worst. Blake noticed your sudden change in mood. "Hey... forget him man, how about you hang with us and make jerky!" He smiled. He turned to Adam, realizing he wasn't paying attention, he shoved his elbow in his gut.

"Oww, I mean, yeahhh why don't you join the meat jerking boys or whatever." Adam went back to cutting up the cow and Blake rolled his eyes.

You laughed. "You call yourselves the meat jerking boys?" Blake shrugged. "Yeah, pretty much, so do you want to hang out with us?" You sighed. "Fuck it why not!"

You spent the rest of the night letting your frustration out on the 'pre-jerky' how Adam liked to call it. Cutting it up, stabbing it, beating it up so bad it was starting to look like a crime scene. You ended up taking an early leave, going to take a shower and lie in Anders bed. You drowned out the hard rock music the boys were playing, thinking of your 6'2ft, fresca loving goofball. You couldn't remember falling asleep, all you could remember was cuddling up in one of Anders' old tees and hugging his pillow. Letting his oddly forest-y scent engulf you.

You had felt something touching your face. Your hand went to swat it away. Again, something brushed across your cheek. "Get off." you mumbled reaching up and feeling your hand touching something cold. You opened your eyes suddenly scared by the random object caressing you. "What?!" you sat up hitting your head against Anders. "Oww." he groaned, rubbing his forehead from where he got hit. "What are you doing here?" you laid back down, covering yourself up again.

He chuckled. "I can ask the same question, you're the one in my bed." You rolled your eyes. "Why do you care? Shouldn't you be with your dad, driving around in your new car, trying to impress him with your fake life?" You sat up again. He opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off. "Hey maybe while you're at it, why don't you get a new girlfriend? Oh, wouldn't that be perfect? A perfect, meticulously chosen life all created by your father. Yeah, that would just be so great and why don't you take your new girlfriend and dad to this." You reached towards his bed side drawer, grabbing the tickets from the top. "Here, happy anniversary I guess." Your eyes getting teary, unable to stop your tears from falling. He grabbed the tickets from your hand and gasped. The Norwegian food festival, it was all Anders had been talking about the past three months. "You remembered.' His heart sank as he saw you just give a soft nod. "Yeah, but it doesn't matter anymore." He reached for you. "No. What? Come here." You pushed him away. "No Anders, you can't just make this go away with a hug! I don't care how hot or stupidly adorable your sleepy face looks. You lied and not just to anyone. It was to your dad. Really? Out of anyone, you just had to choose your dad?" Anders shook his head. " I can care less about what my dad says." He reached for you again. You let him hug you. You mumbled into his shirt letting your tears fall. "I wish I could believe you.' He pulled from you, not being able to hear you when you spoke into his shirt. "What was that?" He wiped the tears from your cheeks. "I know how you feel about your dad Anders. You're always trying to impress him, I just want to know why?"

He thought for a second. You couldn't help but snort. "It was a rhetorical question dumbass."

"Oh." He smiled at you. You sighed and laid your hands on his cheeks, it had been so long since you'd been able to even see him, much less touch him. You placed your forehead against his. "I just,,, I think you're the most beautiful, hardest working, sweetest, adorable goofy goober to exist and seeing you bend over backwards for your dad every time you get a call from him, makes me so pissed cause you're so perfect so why should you change the way you are for someone who doesn't appreciate you?"

Anders leaned forward and kissed you. His arms gripped you tightly, pulling you closer and closer every second. Your hands tangled in his hair, slightly pulling on it. You pulled apart for air but kept your hands in his hair. "I want to marry you." He smiled.

"Anders." you gasped.

"You're right Y/n. I'm always doing everything my father wants. I'm always trying to earn his love and respect when the only person I really care about is right in front of me." "Dersy.' your tears fell again. He started giving you pecks all over your face. " I'll tell him the truth tomorrow but for right now, I want to spend time with you." He laid down next to you and snuggled up as close as he could. "I love you." He snuggled his head into your neck. "I love you more." You smiled, feeling sleep catch up to you again. You guys spent the rest of the night cuddling and enjoy the comfortable silence. As quiet as it could be with Adam and Blake there.