#my coworker also finds him attractive so at least i got him

[its-a-show-stoppin-number]

[fairyofshampgyu]

Super shy !

genre: smut, baker au, college au, crack

Pairing: shy loser virgin bakery worker ! soobin x college customer ! reader

Warnings: sub soobin, dom reader, clubbing, alcohol, loss of virginity, riding, hand job, titty groping (can’t be a Soobin smut without him being obsessed with boobies be fr), premature ejaculation,

word count: 2.9k

As soon as you stepped into the newly established campus bakery, walking up to the counter and observing all the pastries, contemplating for a rather long time before you end up deciding on what you’d usually order anyway, Soobin couldn’t help feeling like his world got totally turned upside down. The sight of you rendering him completely speechless and unable to even think.

Time seemingly going by so slow like in the kdramas as your shiny hair majestically blows in the non existent wind inside, smile brightening up the entire bakery. He could practically see the roses blooming around your face like in the mangas. Was this love at first sight?!

Realistically, no.

But were you incredibly attractive to him and a breath of fresh air to the moody, stressed out college students that purchase a single coffee and stay for hours completing assignments with their backs concerningly hunched over? Hell yes.

And unfortunately for Soobin, he does not do well with pretty people. At all. Not realising you had even ordered, too in awe and preoccupied with taking in all your features until he’s snapped back to reality with the clearing of your throat and he can already feel his cheeks burning up horribly fast. Oh god. He really, really hopes it’s not evident right now.

“S-sorry…What did you say?” He begins apologising profusely to you, too embarrassed to even look you in the eyes, staring off more to the side. This was definitely not his best customer service.

With a chuckle, you brush it off and state your order again, “I said could I have the strawberry swirl cheesecake please?” If Soobin could look at himself in third person, he would so be face palming right now. Or better yet, maybe he could just go up and like, punch himself straight up or something for acting like such a loser.

“Ah right... That’s ₩7500. Cash or card?”

You pay with cash and Soobin, very nervously, fumbles around to garner the right amount of change to hand you, though doing it in the most awkward way possible and his palm makes direct contact with yours as he hands the money, making him blush even more and let out a small obvious gasp at the feeling of your soft hand. Oh my god. Why did he do that?! He really hopes you didn’t find that weird.

You only let out another chuckle, thanking him before you’re leaving the bakery in an elegant manner and Soobin is left to sigh and watch your back disappear. Damn it. He’ll probably never see you again. You were so pretty and so cute, too cute even-

“You’re such a virgin.”

His thoughts about you are abruptly dissipated by his coworker and unfortunately best friend, Choi Beomgyu who gives him the stupidest, most annoying grin he would definitely like to slap off his face right now.

“Just shut up.” Soobin grimaces and rolls his eyes at beomgyu, bringing a batch of freshly baked cookies out of the oven behind him and placing them into the display glass one by one.

"You’re pinker than the strawberry macarons we sell. That's saying something." Beomgyu raises an eyebrow at him with sass.

So does that mean you could see how flustered he was getting then? Oh no! Soobin clears his throat and narrows his eyes at beomgyu anyway. “Am not.”

“Are too! Anyway, all I’m saying is that interaction was painful to watch. You’re really giving pathetic, loser, virgin right now. I cant lie.” Beomgyu attempts to stifle in one of his obnoxious laughs.

Soobin is quick to snap back, "You've only ever slept with one person!"

"S-so!! At least im not a virgin!" Beomgyu’s cheeks also become the equivalent to the strawberry macarons as he scrambles to try and defend himself, brows furrowed and cheeks puffed.

“Well, the concept of a virgin is purely societal anyway. It doesn’t actually matter. It doesn’t mean anything really.” Soobin bitterly replies, continuing to work whilst his counterpart does completely nothing like most of the time. It's usually soobin that does work, remind him not to agree to beomyu's silly ideas of getting a job together ever again.

Beomgyu scoffs and snickers at this, "Whatever. You’re just saying all that to make yourself feel better because you’re a loser. LMAO"

"I’ll punch you right now."

"Then we'll both be fired~”

A poor customer still awaits at the counter to be served, standing in bewilderment and tiredness. Waiting for the two bakers to finish bickering and sighing as they don’t seem like they’re going to stop anytime soon.

Soobin doesn’t expect to see you again, in complete honesty, he’s almost forgotten you even exist after you never come again. But he’s in luck and more than pleasantly surprised when he hears the bell to the door go ding!, indicating a customer had walked in. He looks up from the cake he was decorating and in comes you looking cuter than the first time he saw you. He tries not to mess up the cake and he stands up straight almost instantly when he sees you, waiting for you to order and trying to remain calm.

You laugh and point at his cute nose when you come up to the counter. “You have like, icing all on your nose.”

“O-oh. I do?” He points at himself and you nod in reply. He feels himself going redder by the minute. He must look so stupid right now! And he urgently brings his sleeve up and tries to wipe the icing off his nose to not make himself look an even more of a complete fool in front of you .

“Ah wait no. Let me do it!” You lean over the counter as you see him struggling and wipe it off the top of his cute bunny like nose instead for him.

And that was the end of soobin. The end.

-

You become a regular at the bakery and soobin becomes a regular of embarrassing the absolute shit out of himself each time he sees you. He really doesn’t think he can top the previous comedic disaster that occurs when you enter, yet he always proves himself wrong, the awkwardness reaching new heights each time. From dropping trays of pastries, spilling drinks, nearly slipping in front of you, giving you a ₩50000 note when it was only ₩5000 change, the list goes on and on. He’s actually surprised he hasn’t lost his job yet.

And there’s also always a disappointed beomgyu shaking his head afterwards ready to make fun of him when Soobin promises to make a move but freezes every time you’re in sight, too much of a pussy.

“I’m calling an intervention.” Beomgyu declares and sighs after the nth time of soobin making absolutely no moves on you whatsoever, “Soobin, my man, my bro, you desperately need to get banged. It’s painful seeing the way you act. Your little crush is not gonna like you with the way you act. That’s it. We’re going clubbing tonight after this shift. No buts.”

“But-”

“I said no buts!”

“You know I hate clubbing.”

“You’ve never even been with me despite my constant pleads.” Beomgyu shakes his head and makes a dramatic pained face at his way.

“So? I know I’ll hate it.”

“You’re such a hater bro.”

“Yes I am. And I take pride in it. I’m a hater of everything.”

Beomgyu just sighs. He was utterly hopeless.

Unfortunately, there was no way Soobin could get out of this because beomgyu was having absolutely none of his protests and excuses and that’s how he ends up finding himself at the club anyway after his shift, sitting off to the side as he watches beomgyu disappear somewhere into the crowd. Soobin sighs as he downs his jack and coke. This was going to be a long fucking night.

-

In the dimly lit club, soobin’s discomfort was palpable, like a fish out of water and you noticed instantly upon arrival. It’s that cute tall baker boy who always serves you! You excitedly make your way and sit next to him, he looked a little lonely. “Hey! You work at that bakery on campus. I go there!”

Soobin’s eyes nearly fall out of his sockets at the sight of you sitting next to him and he nearly chokes on his drink as he splutters on his straw and nods. Act calm, act calm, act calm, act calm. Act cool and mysterious.

It’s you! You’re speaking to him?!

“So…these things not really your scene, huh?”

“Gee. How did you ever notice?” Soobin attempts to smile and joke with dry humour but it executes a little more awkward and nervous than how he would have liked.

You also try to carry on the conversation since this is the first time you’ve got to ever actually talk to the cute boy before. “I’m very intuitive. I can just sense things like that.”

He laughs at that too, feeling a bit more comfortable around you now. “No but yeah, I’d much rather be at home right now sleeping. Can’t say I’m much of an advocate for getting stupidly drunk with sweaty people you don’t even know with terrible rave music and flashing lights that should have an epilepsy warning”

“I get it.” You chuckle at how passionate he gets talking about how much he hates clubbing, frown on his cute face. “So why are you here then?”

“Friend wanted me to. Said I needed to finally get laid or whatever.” Soobin rolls his eyes and sips on his drink again, motioning his head to the direction of beomgyu on the dance floor, clearly drunk off his ass now.

“Oh, you’re a Virgin?”

Soobin’s ears go red when he realises what he said to you. “O-oh um y-yeah I guess…”

“Are you waiting for like marriage or the right person or something?” You question, genuinely surprised. He was tall and very attractive and it was rare for college boys to not hook up every single night these days.

“God no. Just never happened. I don’t really care for things like that. It’s probably overhyped anyway and doesn’t even feel that good. Like porn is highly unrealistic anyway.”

“You think so?” You chuckle at him and he nods, continuing to cutely sip on his drink with his straw. “Well maybe you should to try it out first and see for yourself.” Your words start to become a little flirty as you grow more confident talking with him and also because of the alcohol making you slightly tipsy now. “Sorry, but do you want to get out of here?”

“Yes please.” Soobin’s eyes widen even more at your suggestion and he’s more than happy to get out of here with you especially.

“Umm your friend is a bit….out of it right now.” You watch beomgyu drunk from afar, whipping his long hair back and forth claiming to everyone around he’ll be able to do it fast enough to lift off his feet and fly like a helicopter.

“He’ll be…he’ll be fine I’m sure”

Soobin has no idea what good stuff he must have done in his past life to get to this moment right now, in your room, making out with you, in your bed. Did he mention making out? With you?! The customer he’s been crushing on for months?! Holy, he might hyperventilate right now. It all feels like a dream. Is this real right now?

You cup his cheek and move into his lap, continuing to move your lips against his and soobin’s ears and face are all flushed, breathing loud of enough for you to hear and he looks all nervous and a little shaky.

You stop kissing him but he chases after your lips still and you stroke his cheek, “Are you okay Soobin?”

He’s only able to nod, lips parted and eyes all glazed over. He’s so out of it just from making out with you it’s crazy. But so cute too.

“C-can you…can we…just want…”

“What do you want, baby?” You chuckle and stroke his cheek as he manages to utter some words. The petname only makes his head go even more haywire.

“W-want you…”

“What do you want me to do?” You giggle and coo at him.

He shyly shows you the boner he’s had this entire time. You can’t believe he got a boner just from some kissing. “Can you-will you touch me…please? Need it…” He pleads at you nervously, so red in the face.

“Are you sure?”

He nods his head exceptionally fast and you begin to unbuckle his jeans as he watches you take his flushed and hard dick out, breathing only becoming heavier. Damn, you didn’t think he’d be that big.

You take him into your hands and his mouth his already agape, gasping when you slowly start to stroke him.

You pump his big cock at a steady pace so as not to overwhelm him too much, though twisting and thumbing at the tip occasionally that has him drooling at the corner of his mouth and beads of precum dribbling out heavily from his cock. It’s endearing how far gone he is just at you stroking his dick slow, shy whimpers and other noises eliciting from his mouth.

You unbutton you shirt with your other hand as you continue to pump him and his eyes go crazed at the sight of your tits, you guiding his own big inexperienced hands to grope at them and he does, slumping his head into your neck and shoulder moaning into it and still groping and squeezing at your tits.

With a sudden yelp you feel Soobin’s cum spurt up and leak into your hands, his eyes rolling back as he whimpers continuously from his premature orgasm.

He doesn’t lift his head from your shoulder yet, too embarrassed to face you but he eventually does, eyes still half lidded, trying to catch his breath and he’s hard again. “W-will you fuck me? Please please please. Wanna feel it, wanna feel you, please?” He practically begs, still panting out.

“Are you really sure, Soobin? With me?”

“Yes please! Only want you.”

You study his face for any hesitancy but it’s clear he’s so set on wanting you to fuck him. So you wrap your hands around both his wrists and bring him to lay down on your pillows instead, you still straddling his lap.

When you’ve undressed your lower half, you bring his dick and slide it over your entrance a few times, he moans out loud, hands coming up shyly to cover his face and then you sink down incredibly slowly on his massive length . Soobin’s jaw drops and breath hitches at the feeling of his dick finally in your warm pussy, a strangled moan ripping out of him. He could seriously cum just from being in you right now, but he tries so hard not to or you’ll be disappointed and he doesn’t want to see you disappointed or embarrass himself even more.

“You good, baby?”

“M’ f-fine. Just-Just need a minute.” Soobin shakes out.

You take his hands away from his face and lean down to softly kiss him instead, trying to calm him down and he effuses into your mouth, kissing back passionately with his eyes closed.

“I’m ready now…” He pulls away after a while and looks you in the eyes.

So you start to slowly move, riding him, going up and down on his virgin dick. Soobin’s mouth hangs open in endless moans and gasps and whimpers, face buried into your pillow to the side and his hair all messy now. Whole body flushed and shaking underneath you.

“Better than you thought, baby?” You grunt out, bouncing on top of his cock.

“So much better. O-oh my god, f-fuck…ah!” So maybe sex wasn’t overhyped after all. Because goddamn, you feel so fucking good. Maybe it was just you. But Soobin truly feels like he’s gliding on fluffy clouds right now. All the times he’s touched himself not even coming close to how he feels right now stuffed in your pussy as you fuck him, watching mesmerised as your tits bounce with each movement. He could die here right now in full contentment. Oh how he was so wrong.

It’s not long at all before Soobin can’t hold it anymore. His hips bucking up and breath hitching as a loud strangled mewl tumbles out of his mouth and you feel hot cum fill you up suddenly that makes you still your movements on him. He lets out a long slurred groan and then goes limp beneath you, eyes closing shut and open as he fades from conscious to not every now and then. Is he really that fucked out?

After a while, he finally somewhat recovers and comes back to you from his high, still panting out and chest rising up and down. He looks up at you with a small shy smile on his lips, arm thrown over his forehead.

“You know I literally only go to the bakery because of how cute and silly you are and how you always make a mess of yourself whenever I walk in” You chuckle and admit, drawing shapes into his chest.

“W-wait you knew I liked you?” Soobin asks, shocked and feeling embarrassed again.

You laugh, “Come on, you made it rather obvious.”

Please actually reblog !!!!!! and leave comments !!!! guys 😭 if you like the fic. It’s really appreciated and so nice tysm !<3🙏💕🌷🌷! It’s incredibly discouraging and irriating when fics have such little reblogs ☹️. At least send an anon in the inbox if you don’t want to rb, don’t just like. Feedback is always appreciated it make writers want to actually write :)

A/n: having serious writers block rn but forced myself to write this in practically one sitting (it was so painful) and has not been proof read at all so if it makes no sense I apologise 😭

[missmarveledsblog]

Never doubt the Matchmaker ( jake seresin x reader )

Summary : nat phoenix trace was well known by her friends and coworkers as being a excellent matchmaker although jake seresin thinks it all bullshit till he finally let her set him up and jake learns never to doubt the matchmaker ...

warnings : goofy , fluffy , miscommunication sort of rom com feel to it , picture doesn't describe the reader just cover art i started making for fics

Natasha trace  was a woman of many talents , she was strong , determined , and calculated . all good qualities that made her one of best female pilots but she also had another talent one that didn't even remotely have to do with the navy and it was her match making skills . when she disclosed the information it got laughs  , didn't bother her she laughed along with them .  then one by one it would start off joking then hinting to outright asking. first it was fanboy then bob then javy then rooster. only one she didn't get asked by was payback giving the man was already married and jake who still thought it was all  crock .  she didn’t really concern herself with what bagman had to say the results spoke for themself .  fan boy was living with the barista she set him up with , bob was married to the animal shelter volunteer , javy was still going strong with the yoga instructor while  rooster only began seeing the nurse it was still good and boy was he already gone . the results spoke for themselves as always but jake still a skeptic , still ready to shoot it all down of course . 

“ he’s just afraid of finding the one is all “ rooster laughed .

“ i mean i don’t doubt your skill but hangman finding the one is a bit far fetched “ bob shook his head amused in the constantly denial of the match making but in fairness they all were  til she did her thing. 

“ don’t worry bagman i wouldn’t subject any woman to deal with you “  phoenix rolled her eyes . 

“ because its not working i mean rooster would fall in love with a rock” he countered as the brunette exclaimed out a “ hey “ 

 “ why does it bother you so much , you feeling left out , a little lonely “ she taunted . 

“ never lonely phoenix i can get a girl to keep me warm at night any time” he winked  taking his shot potting the ball . 

“ why don’t you let her set you up then “ bob suggested . 

“ he’s right you think it’s fake then prove it “ javy added . 

“ ain’t you suppose to be on my side here?” 

“ come on man what have you got to lose”  rooster smirked . 

“ you know what i’ll bit just to show you i’m right” he crossed his arms looking to the female pilot.

“Fine  i’ll set you up bagman “ nat shook her head . 

It had been weeks since the whole agreement in the hard deck and jake constantly being the one to let her know the fact . then like an angel to answer all there prayers she found the one , the one that would have jake seresin eating his words .  then one day during lunch jake was looking at text of details for a date saturday . he promised to give the woman a chance   , knowing full well it would end like all his dates do  and that part wasn’t so bad .  He’d gotten the womans number striking up a conversation , she could least do that only thing was when he asked for selfie she would reply later , later never came then it was “ i forgot next” which didn’t fill him with much fate but still keeping his word he continues to chat . saturday he was on the beach  a regular tradition now playing dog fight football as the guys asked about his  date. 

“ i mean we text but no selfies so not promising “ he called as nat shook her head. 

“ she hot bagman not that it matters “ she rolled her eyes . 

“ all chicks say there friends are hot , i’m just being honest” he smirked . 

“ not al about looks “ rooster pointed out . 

“ says the guy with the hot nurse girlfriend , you telling me if she wasn’t attractive to you in the smallest bit you would be with her ?” he asked . 

“ yeah because of the person , she is” . 

“ again not that it matters but y/n is a hotty and well able to handle you “ nat scoffed . 

“ yeah we’ll see about that phoenix”. 

When he got home  still texting his date asking her what she was going to wear so he would be able find her .  all he got back was long red dress probably something a grandma would wear  he didn’t know why but that was what he thought . then he got ready   thinking the worse as time got closer , like it was set up in a different way , a ploy for phoenix to get back at him and set him up with some lady that had twenty cars the generic mad woman crossing his mind .  he could slip out early that was for sure  although javy was telling him it would be ok also agreed to call with fake emergency. He was glad he agreed to meet somewhere else because if this was a trick least there would be no witnesses that was for sure . checking over least he looked good   as he looked down at his dress pants that fit snugly on his legs of the light blue almost whitish blue shirt that made his chest and arms look great . he was ready to prove natasha trace wrong and make a  lady happy to get the jake seresin experience . he was sure it was going to be a disaster , some sort of catfish situation even though he had yet to she her face expectations were not high. He stood outside  the bar it was classy  place so who he thought he would meet would stand out a mile off already building an image of some desperate woman .   parking and taking one look at his phone both message one to tell him she was at the bar and another from javy to have good time but he was also on standby if needed . heading in there was one woman at the bar in a red dress , long that stopped at her shins , her long legs crossed with a pair of black open toed heels   , spagetti string straps as she looked around she was gorgeous. Maybe if his  date failed he could ? . 

She couldn’t believe she let natasha trace do her whole match maker thing knowing how it was going to fail , from texting the guy it was ok nothing special didn’t seem like he was into it either so least she wouldn’t be the only one who was going to go into it with less expectations , plus she could only imagine what she was going to meet not that she didn’t find  nat’s flyboy friends attractive because they were but they lacked a little something  .  she herself worked as a mechanic not as glorious or as dangerous as  the navy but she and nat bonded over being in a male dominated area even still she was confused as the receptionist . now here she was sitting waiting for some stranger  when she could be in her shop finishing the shit ton of cars that needed to be fixed but maybe a few drinks would be ok  , help take the busy week off her shoulders . one so busy she kept forgetting to send a selfie and then she thought it would be more fun to keep the mystery going . she text him to let him know he was at the bar barely flickering her gaze  when he text to say  he was outside well here it was. 

“ showtime “ she winked to the bartender downing the drink waiting for whatever disaster  that was coming her way . 

“Erm y/n “ the  southern drawl clear his throat she turned to raise her hand. 

“ over here” she smiled ok , so he wasn’t tragic looking maybe it was shallow but hey he was gorgeous blonde so she wasn’t complaining . 

“ well darling nice to meet you “ he beamed , he’d give nat this one she was the hotty at the bar . 

“ jake?  Nice to meet you too “ she held her hand out almost swallowed in his own , lifting it to his lips and kissing her hand .

“ what are you drinking ?” he nudged . 

“ just beer , southern boy huh” her own accent coming out more as she talked . 

“ austin born and raised , you ?” he took the seat  noting the slight disappointed glance of bartender since he came over. 

“ dallas , would you like to go sit down and get some food because i for one am hungry ?”  

“ lead the way beautiful whatever you want it on me “  he beamed holding his hand out and letting her take him anywhere and it would be anywhere damn she was like a siren luring him to sea .  following the sway of her hips like they were personal hypnotizing him and maybe they were , pulling the seat out putting the full gentlemen charm because shit she had him hooked with her body already . 

“ so jake from austin what made you ask nat for her skills “ she asked looking up  ever the gentlemen pulling her chair out and pushing it in for her as she looked up through her lashes at the blonde . 

“ honest answer?” to which she nodded .  “ honestly i wanted to see if she was good as other say kinda a skeptic but maybe not so much “ he winked as her  head tipped back and wondrous sound of her laugh came out. 

“ oh my god same i only agreed because she set my cousin up with ostrich , duck some bird dude “ she laughed . 

“ rooster?” 

“ YES !  i haven’t met him yet but my cousin  ironic dove is singing his praise then when she told me she got a perfect match not gonna lie since your being honest and all but i said no for while stuff at works been well hectic “ she shook her head. 

“ what is you do , you never said in your texts plus you owe me a selfie or two “ he teased . 

“ a mechanic actually while other girls where playing with barbies i was playing with tools and hotwheels i’m only girl of a bunch of boys so i guess when i wanted to be one of them safe to say my mom was little let down to say the least “ she chuckled . 

“ i’m only boy of bunch of girls i’m second born though “ 

“I’m the baby  , i’m actually working in a shop owned by my two older brothers and top at my job not as exciting as being a aviator for the navy though” she winked . 

“ nah i’m impressed least i know if my truck ever  has trouble i know who will take care of it for me” he smirked leaning forward honestly he hated how much he was going to be hearing nat gloat because he was already hooked  this woman was perfect although she was a decade younger but fuck she was making him feel like a teenager.

The date was good he laughed a lot she was funny , she seemed interested in knowing him and   kept the conversation light nothing was felt pushed or awkward . it was perfect date  he hated he would have to tell phoenix  as much he didn’t want that night to end ,  they even made out in the back of his truck  so why was it two days after the date and everything was radio silent . only thing that he was told was she got home safe and would contact him again .  he never had that much fun on a date especially one that didn’t end in sex , he wanted to be respectful , he also didn’t wanna text and come off desperate so he was wondering what hell went wrong .  maybe he could ask nat and swallow his pride at the fact she was good but clearly not good if he was ghosted . 

She wondered what went wrong did she come on too  strong , did he not like her .  the date was perfect and yet she never  got text back after she told him she got home safe .  it was all good even making out in the back of his truck til he stopped it now she was slightly annoyed he ghosted her .  burying herself in the overflowing work she could of been doing instead  when the familiar sound of an engine . to see natasha trace coming her way all smile probably ready to hear about how it all went . 

“ i’m mad at you “ y/n huffed tying her hair up before diving back into the hood of the corvette that needed dire attention.  

“ what did he do ?” she groaned now holding the coffee she brought like a peace offering instead of an early celebration . 

“ ghosted me  , i thought we had a great time  , even made out in his stupid truck and boom nothing even when i offered him to follow me “ she grumbled looking up . 

“ wait what javy said jake had great time i was here to rub it in both of you “ . 

“ well i’ll do that rubbing in your matchmaking skill ain’t all that .. but i love you and you didn’t know this was gonna happen so i guess i ain’t actually mad at you… my vagina might be “ she laughed finally taking the coffee. 

“ i’m gonna find out what going on cause something is  not adding up “ nat brows furrowed as she head off ignoring the protest that came from y/n mouth . 

She couldn’t make sense of it , according to javy he was smitten  like really smitten so what the hell was going on .  she knew y/n was younger than jake by ten years was that it but then she was thinking jake would date younger than himself maybe not that gap but again it didn’t seem to bother him . it wasn’t even to do with the match making anymore ..ok maybe it was could that be it , he was ghosting y/n in his own need to be right.  Now she was pissed  as she drove a little faster ,  parking her car and storming down the halls. She didn’t even look at the guys when she got to jake staring up , eyes narrowed  and hands on hips . 

“ what is your problem how come your ghosting y/n ,  she said she had a great time with you and what  is it your need to be right because that fucked if you don’t like her least be a man and tell her “ she gritted . 

“ what are you talking about  , she ghosted me nat  she should grow up and tell you the truth “ he scoffed . 

“ she looked upset although she wouldn’t show it …  she thinks you don’t like her she offered  her place ?” nat said even more confused .

“ believe it or not i was being a gentlemen because i actually did like the her.. The date “ he corrected pulling his phone out to show the fact he ended up texting her couple times . 

“ oh you stupid man , it concerning your still flying that not her the name is similar but you’ve been texting another woman no wonder she didn’t answer … idiots “ she scoffed as jake looked at his phone he didn’t even realize that name was still in his phone  he just saw the first three letters and was currently cursing the device in his hand .  it all connecting in his mind only for rooster to say it all out loud. 

“ shit you actually ghosted her after all” .

“ where she work  cause she not gonna believe me if i text her now ?” he asked chasing after nat  who honestly was done with life at the moment. 

“ if i  tell you , you gotta wear a shirt that says i was right for three nights of my choosing in hard deck ?” nat mused even though she was gonna help him either way but didn’t mean she couldn’t have fun too . 

“ you know what i’ll let you have six , come on “ he pleaded  ready to dart out knowing he’s morning was free . 

“  don't make me regret this “ nat smirked texting the address . “ make sure you check the right message “ she called as he ran off flipping her off . 

 he didnt know what it was but he was hooked on this girl like some sort of spell was cast on him  . he usually didn't bother texting after the fuck boy tendency  was strong he knew it himself but shit he was so disappointed and turned out to be his fault his fuckboy ways or some sort of self sabotage  .  already losing something so good before it even started he wanted to delete all the contacts in his phone maybe change his number start a new leaf. He was just hoping he wasn’t too late as he got into his truck nat sent another message telling him  the  coffee and baked good  peace offering to bring  as well as his size  maybe he would wear the shirt  an extra night for that. It was a race for what he didn’t know but he wanted to find out.   

She was tired but finally she gotten on top of the overflow of repairs  ones even her brothers were impressed she managed to pull of maybe the frustration of being ghosted was working in her favor , she was ready to grab her coat and head out . 

“ hey kiddo truck coming in can you sort this while i sort something in the office” her brother mikey called . 

“ you gotta be shitting me i’m heading out deal with it yourself” she scoffed. 

“ do it and i’ll give you rest of week off and next week  paid and overtime?” he said holding phone to his ear . 

“ fine after this i’m out for a week and half   “ she rolled her eyes throwing her things down tying her hair up . 

“ yeah she going  i think a date would be a good payment huh trace” he chuckled heading into the office. 

She was huffing and puffing but hey time of and extra money she could be happy with , what she wasn’t happy with was a tall blonde aviator standing by the truck . 

“ we’re closed” 

“ says your open “ he nodded to the neon sign. 

“ busy should of called a head.. Or do you have a phone?” she scoffed hand on her hip  , burning hole in his head with the fiery gaze she had on him . 

“ can we talk please ? i got your favorites here” he held up the container. 

“ you could of talked to me before , my brother is in there i will not hesitate to get the bat from his car “ 

“  hear him out … heres your stuff and thanks for screwing up so i can get a date with nat “ mikey called placing her stuff at the door before heading in and locking the door . 

“ traitor “ she mumbled taking her bag and  only see her car keys missing . “ son of a bitch “ she grumbled .  But it wasn’t going to get her down  no come hell or nothing she would walk her ass home . so she did turning out away completely not even sparing the blonde a second look or care if he was following her or not. 

“ come on please let me explain “ jake called. 

“ explain nothing if nat sent you here tell her it’s all good “ she waved over her shoulder not only was  she pissed she was no embarrassed thinking he owned her explanation .  which he did but one of his own violation and not one her friend force him to make .   she heard his booths hitting the asphalt , she could hear the panting  behind her shaking her head she kept walking . 

“ come on please” 

“ you ghost me , i practical ask you to sleep with me i thought you were doing the whole gentlemen thing  but turned out you just didn’t like me which is fine i mean not everyone gonna like me but shit when are guys gonna be honest and be like look i ain’t feeling it   or some shit “ she snapped not caring about the group of guys walking by .  

“ dude you blind “ one commented as she just groaned walking past them all . 

“ hey hey  i did want to ok and i was trying to be a gentlemen , i wanted to take you in backseat of the pickup if i could “ he yelled only instead of the group of guys passing it was a group of elderly women . 

“ pig “ one scoffed as they hurried passed. 

“ i thought you ghosted me ok …i maybe even worse asshole to admit that i was texting the wrong number because the names were similar which i’m going to have to text that person the same thing cause i’m pretty sure she married now” he winced as she finally stopped walking . 

“ you want me believe and if i did it worse that it was a mistake dude it ok we didn’t click i mean i thought we did … oh shit “ she said as he held his phone up showing her the messages her name but the contact was similar . “ is it safe for you to be flying “ she asked .

 “ yes i  made a dumb mistake but my eyesight is fine “ he snorted shaking his head nat previous statement . 

“ so you didn’t ghost me ?” she blinked up slightly  still trying to piece the new information slightly relieved since lets be real being ghosted is never fun . 

“ i didn’t ghost you be a fool to  ,  if  your in a forgiving mood since i cleared it up would you maybe wanna go on another date ?” he stood not the usually confident or cocky way he was used to he was almost shy when asking a definite new feeling that he would ( would not ) out loud . 

“ i guess since you got me a week and half off work i could least do that “ biting her lip , wanting to kick herself at the urge to twirl her hair in her finger like some smitten school girl . 

“Well then lets get going “ he winked wrapping his arm around her only for the same group of guys from before walking by looking barely 16 . 

“ dude kiss her “ one  not so hushed whisper yell  . 

“  man i was gonna ask her out” another whined. 

“ y’all watching this whole time ?” she snorted while jake was looking like the cat that got the cream having her at his side . 

“ tiktok was done … if things don’t work out with old man  heres my number” the guy winked as jake took the piece of paper instead . 

“She wont need it son “ was all jake could say leading her back towards the shop , back where his truck was least if her brother was doing him the solid he could have a small drive thru  date . he was new to it all actually wanting to see the one person actively and exclusive ( not that he told her , he wasn’t bradshaw ) but he was willing to show it in future .  He also learned never to doubt nat and her matching making skills again well how could he went he was going to be wearing the visual proof .

[fishsinsareacknowledged]

Something something something husband Nikto with boyfriend König who have a strained relationship cause they were fuck buddies years ago long before you.

Tags: Nsfw Nikto/König/Reader, sub! König, reader doesn't fuck but they do. Possessive/obsessive Nikto,Reader. Very much bottom König getting railed by Nikto for like a paragraph. He's a slut officer. Established relationship. Also some perverted reader and König in here. Just a smidge.

It was all messy and all ways fucked up and bloody before you came into the picture. Meeting and marrying you was one of nikto's only right decision in his all wrong life. Such a sweet precious thing, full of life and the irregularities of humanity in all the wonderful ways.

Sure dating one of your ex team/coworkers wasn't the best idea but eh. You were too good to pass up. König thought so too.

"Schatz, date at the 14th?"

"Hmm, sure, I'll ask my husband."

"What."

The poor man didn't even know the two of you were married before then because Nikto keeps his private life separate. Speaking of, the colonel finds himself thinking about the shorter brute more and more after their little...situation. Wonder why that may be?

And so he arrives at the house with two bouquets of flower. It would be rude if he only brought one right? His Oma always said if he was to find a partner he would get at least five flowers, she didn't mention what would happen if he was attracted to two people. That were married at that.

The door opening with a click as Nikto greets him first, a white tanktop and some shorts. It's all casual and all so much- He didn't even get to knock please have mercy-

He's leading him inside without any words. All silent outside yet loud inside as König internally cums over seeing some of Nikto's skin, all scarred and gott he just wants to run his tongue over those scars again please-

"So, you want my spouse too hm?", and it all comes to a pause. Hands purposefully hiding the flowers.

"Yes, sir.", Nikto used to love that, maybe he still does now, if not? even he's respectful in someone else's house.

"Prove to me you can be a good slut." Flowers turn forgotten on the kitchen table.

Their own lust reignited. Something domestic and new added in the mix of nostalgia as they find themselves another night together.

"ебать, just as tight as I remember."

"I hope our Liebling doesn't mind."

"ah, they are aware."

"Actually? Wait hold on shit- ngh- Schieß- right there-"

And he just takes it all. Every slap of hips against his sore, soft ass. Every spank Nikto delivers to his tight asshole and cheeks. Whining when a finger slips in, angled perfectly with the dick already splitting him open, moments before he comes with a loud grunt.

And he whimpers softly when Nikto overstimulates him, further milking and coating his prostate with teasing filling touches and their sin mixed throughout. The first to initiate and the first to pass out on the bed he doesn't recognize in the morning.

Hands and bodies he doesn't remember in the sunlight. Until he moves and a voice he remembers, every scene comes back to him like a train crash.

"You're awake, 'they' insisted you'd stay, you're welcome to."

And he's unused to the softness in nikto's tone. But he knows. He doesn't want to leave when you're in his arms and he's in yours. A man touch starved beforehand and now he's being held front and back its enough to make his heart nauseously full.

He's not allowed to leave either and he knows it too. The grip in Nikto's hands is unfamiliar but not unknown, something old he used to feel that only his muscle memorizes while he was asleep.

The sheets have been changed he's noticed, no longer the cum stained sheets he got ravaged on and passed out in. No doubt getting carried by the thicker man when he was out cold.

Surrounded front and back and a realization made. You're not theirs, he's yours and Nikto's. A realization that makes him whimper before he gets coddled by the two figures around him, hands already pawing at his tits and hips being shifted backwards. He's stuck with nowhere he'd rather be.

—

"So, how long have this been going on?"

"Three years." Some of Nikto's high quality coffee gets spiten out in pure surprise as said man gives off a loud breathy laugh.

"Am I intruding?"

"Not at all. We've been wanting a new pet."

××××××××××××××××××××××x x××××××××××××××××××××××

Ya boi did not proofread this have some fun looking at my grammatical mistakes.

[redactahoe]

Hiiiii….! Heeeey..! How y’all doin’ ..!

I know it’s been almost two months a minute and I apologize for that there’s been a lot going wrong in my personal life and I’ve been pretty burned out with arguing with cvs about Giving me my adhd meds but I got em so have some funfacts about my sweetheart oc and Milo

Here’s a wip for reference:

—————————————————————————

For reference my sweetheart oc is named Ilya ands a lovable asshole

He’s Sam’s little brother and totally thought that Sam was missing but still alive despite what everyone around him was telling him and part of the reason he became an investigator was so that he could at the very least find out what happened to his brother

Following the whole Sam and iyla being brothers that means that iyla is also freakishly tall and built like a Mac truck. Sam stands at around 6’7 and iyla is 6’9 and it pisses Sam off so bad when ppl mistake iyla for the older one of the twos even though iyla only has a little scruff on his face meanwhile Sam has a whole ass beard)

Despite the fact that iyla is a flaming homosexual for Milo and is deeply and almost obsessively in love with his mate, he still looks like an attractive straight guy or what Lucas (baabe) likes to say a ‘book tok girlies wet dream’ and this causes a lot of… workplace crushes. And while yes at the department that iyla works at majority of his coworkers know and have accepted his relationship with Milo (because 99% of the things iyla talks about is Milo and much he loves his mate) the still get the occasional rookie or incredibly persistent people who either don’t know or haven’t accepted. It’s ok though like I mentioned before(see first point) iyla is a bit of an asshole and has an arsenal of smarmy and sassy shutdowns and comebacks for the overly insistent ones.

Because of his job iyla has to dress pretty professionally so whenever he’s not working he takes every chance he gets to where his stupid little pj pants. You know those pjs that have like superhero’s or cartoon patterns on? Yeah, iyla loves them! He has a vast collection of them and they drive Milo crazy

Speaking of clothing as much as I want to lead you to believe that iyla and Milo are fashion icons, it’s not true. It’s all Milo and iyla truly and whole heartedly has no fashion sense at all. But what he does have is the amazing ability to pick up and match whatever frequency Milo is putting out so it gives the allusion that iyla also has a sense of fashion. But no he’s just really good at matching energy

Milo quite literally changed this man’s life. Ilya can’t take care of himself for shit and survived off of the bare minimum and coffee. And because of this he was pretty malnourished but would never tell anyone and would play off the light headedness, migraines and other symptoms of not taking care of one’s self off and most people wouldn’t push but Milo nore his mama aren’t most people. When Milo found out about iyla basically starving himself and then got the same ‘it’s fine, it’s not that bad, and you don’t got to worry’, Milo wasn’t having any of that. And took it Apon himself to make iyla lunch every single day and take said lunch to iyla every single day. Milo still does this to this day. And while at first iyla tried to convince Milo not to waste his time or resources on him, it was more like trying to convince a brick wall to move. And then Marie found out through Milo and took a step further by essentially forcing ilya to let her mothering him.

Bc of the whole Milo and Marie forcing iyla to take care of himself, he ends of becoming very soft and squishy, at first iyla tried to hide this new development from Milo in fear of Milo not liking his new body, but Milo had long noticed and is incredibly obsessed with the weight and how it looked on iyla and was actively holding back from jumping iylas bones. The only reason Milo didn’t drag that dumb mf into pound town was because he was still trying to considerate and respectful of iylas feeling. Let’s just say Milo ended up demolishing any insecurity in iyla that night >:]

Iyla and aggro are best buddies. Like aggro is the kind of cat that typically doesn’t like being carried but whenever iyla is around, little man is begging to be in his arms. If iyla ain’t holding him them aggro is either on his shoulders/head or following him around like a little shadow. Iyla is not allowed to close his office door or aggro will scream. Milo sometimes likes to joke that he’s the third wheel here which is then responded with lots of love and affection from iyla because Milo will always be his number one priority(aggro comes in at a close second though)

Much like his brother iyla has an accent but it’s ever so slightly lighter and sounds closer to a Cajun accent rather than a country accent but that still doesn’t stop his friends from also calling him a cowboy. But unlike Sam, iyla fully accepts this title and even plays into it\

A lot of people expect him to a cold jaded investigator who expresses a lot of emotion, he is anything but that. He’s a comedic jackass (think Pete Davidson, Deadpool, ) who has no filter. And while most of the time he’s able to keep it tame, he’s still very reactive and does not think before he speaks most of the time.

The first time he met colm(at work because colm knows no boundaries) he was holding back so much snark and was trying so hard to be respectful bc colm is still Milo’s dad and whole he may not have sway on Milo’s opinion he definitely could still affect Marie’s opinions of him. But that all when out the fucking window when colm made an off handed comment about Milo’s sexuality and iyla on reflex called him a cunt and drunkard, proceeded to flip colm off and walk away. Milo found this hilarious though, and could not stop talking about it for weeks. And while colm tried to cry about the ‘no good stealth punk’ to Marie, she told his ass that he should have listened at left iyla alone

Iyla has a bit of a temper and a smoking habit. But don’t worry iyla has gotten amazing control of his temper and he’s been trying to quit smoking since he met Milo. And even when iyla is angry it’s just a lot of comedic yelling and cussing. Not aimed at anyone in particular (usually) it’s just a lot of iyla yelling increasingly creative curses

Iyla working and iyla not working are two very different people. Iyla despite his jokey laid backness. Takes his job very seriously and Coworkers that aren’t close to him kinda don’t believe iyla can genuinely laugh and he has something that Asher likes to call his ‘lieutenant voice’ where it’s essentially iyla speaking in a kinda scary and demanding tone which is usually used when a fellow officer/investigator fucks up, is being dumb, or god forbid being discriminating against anyone, especially iylas family.

Milo thinks the lieutenant voice is very sexy, David of all people is a little scared of it(but he would never admit it out loud), sam is also a little intimidated by it but he will openly admit that he didn’t think his little bro could be that scary, Asher, Angelo, Casey and the rest thinks it’s kind of funny how easy it is for iyla to switch into lieutenant mode

Despite the vast height difference between Milo and iyla, iyla very rarely makes jokes about Milo’s size. He is very aware on how these jokes make Milo feel and he almost knocked Chrissy’s lights out for making a pipsqueak joke about Milo behind his back. But on the other hand he will call Sam every short related nickname under the fucking sun.

On a more serious note iyla is incredibly paranoid about his friends and family’s safety and took it very hard when Casey fell of the the face of the earth to hunt down Quinn. And while at first iyla was mad ad Casey that anger very quickly shifted on to Quinn after iyla decided to look into Quinn’s history and found out that he has had a pattern of targeting to black sheep’s and using that persons loved ones against him.

You don’t wrong iyla or anyone iyla cares about and get away with it. Iyla is a very vengeful person and believes that if you hurt someone for no good reason then you need to receive that hurt back tenfold. He has a long history of getting his lick back on people, and some range from incredibly funny and ironic to down right murderous

On a more lighter note, he’s super competitive and Milo and him playfully argue and banter all fucking day but it usually ends in some form of a steamy make out because their gross and in love

[cringe6fail6star6]

Imagine MC just... really dense. Even worse, than in canon. U ask them what others see u as n they reply "Solomons replacement" which makes sense right? Now ask them how they see others "friends at best, coworkers at worst" n that MC does love devils. Even equally. But completely refuse to ask outright bc "that would be rude" and why? "Idk, they never asked so i never think about it"

MC u fucked them "Yes, but like,,, it wasnt bc of love, barely an attraction honestly. Usually just to keep me alive" MC who fucked u up like that? "Mixed signals"

Sure, most devils don't shy from saying these damn words(i luv u), but do they mean them tho? "Nah, u just miss Solomon, ill tell him u said hi, so dw bout it, I'll send him best wishes." Sure we fucked, but will all my affections be read as sexual? Will my hugs be read as invitation for more? Am I more than my body? Is there really anything but my body? No, there is not, u may proceed.

"Maybe they wanted to know more about you?"

"..." hmmm -> devils like Solomon -> I am Solomons descendant-> they got me here bc im Solomons descendant -> bc devils miss Solomon-> they know he can possess my body -> they wanted to ask if I could ask him to possess my body. Right, the conclusion. "Nah, Solomon isnt around, he cant possess me right now."

"????"

"Idk either man, people just think he can do it whenever. Crazy, i know."

What self? Oh right, self that died before my time! Mhm mhm, that self! Of course. Ah, no sadly no self before my time. Sad I know.

Yes, devils may think MC reciprocated, n they sure do, but they also think that they're not allowed to reciprocate bc it feels like devils feelings aren't for them, ya know? Like yes you love me and my body. But is it love towards me or who my soul once was? I'll take the love and give it back, but I feel like shit over it.

"So... i know we love each other, but just to make sure, bc i know youre dense. What are we?"

??????->devils need me bc of Solomons contracts -> love here is purely sexual -> all affection/love is sexual in nature in hell -> hes asking me about contracts n when we gonna break it. "Open ur mouth and we'll see."

Like there is logic behind their thoughts, but it's so convoluted it's easier to just ignore it n see all relationships as purely transactional and or platonic at best. Just helping a pal not to die, like blood transfusion but with energy ya know?

Devil confessed liking MC -> I'm loved -> I want to reciprocate -> friendly kiss on a cheek or forehead or hand or anywhere really -> devil get aroused -> oh fuck not again! -> it's sexual again, goddammit

MC who sees devils as parrots so they aren't allowed to touch like 90% of their bodies unless they want devils to misinterpret them. It's annoying but at some point they finally find a safe way to show affection and its all good now. Unless devils find out humans show affection differently and now MC has to survive devils misinterpreted views again.

"Pls i just figured out how to keep my interactions platonic/non sexual, dont ruin it for me" N devil just wanted to hug them bc ya know, it's non sexual show of affection in all realms n specifically humans. N now MC on the other side of the stick.

This stick of misinterpretation that let's MC keep everyone at arms length bc they really don't like sex or at least not all the time, and now devils try to move closer? Fuck no, I'm out.

[aquarelliwrites]

All Caught Up

SHIP: Max Verstappen x driver!Reader PROMPT: “I got you three gifts for Christmas. Since I wasn’t there for Valentine’s Day or your birthday-” “We weren’t even dating then!” CONTENT WARNINGS: slight alcohol consumption in the last scene, she/her pronouns, no use of y/n

3.1k

You sigh, the door shutting behind you with a soft click. Another one, and it locks. The keys get tossed unceremoniously into the decorative tray right next to the entrance, and your shoes get toed off soon after that. 

What a way to spend Valentine’s Day, huh? A transcontinental flight from Nice to Luton of all places, then waiting around for nearly an hour for your luggage to find itself on the revolving conveyor belt in front of you. Then, as if the universe itself had it out for you, the thin metal frame holding your umbrella together twists out of shape under the onslaught of wind - leaving you fuming in the cold rain for 45 minutes before your Uber arrives. The guy is apologetic, of course, and the traffic isn’t his fault, so you try your best to smile and reassure him it’s alright. Following that, you spend the half-hour drive to Milton Keynes attempting to warm up even slightly in your soaked coat.

Really, that whole monologue was a long way of saying the pre-RB20-launch meeting was cold, rainy and miserable in many ways. There were a couple of positive sides to it, though, you think as you unpack your bag in the hallway - your coworkers, both the ones who’d stay in the factory and who’d join you in the paddock, were all delightful and friendly, congratulating you on the promotion. The car itself looked fantastic - all smooth carbon fiber wrapped around the innards of the car like a silk sheet, covered in sponsor logos, sharp nose already pointing to another successful season for the team. 

And Max. He was… also there.

The dark and lonely flat seems to mock you at the very thought.

Well, no, that’s a rude way of putting it. Your most famous coworker was as kind as anyone else you’d met before and during that day. You’d already met before, when you became a reserve driver for the team the year before. Your first meeting face to face was nothing but pleasant, and you quickly found you both had a similar sense of humor.

You’re half-worried the kettle won't work after several months of abandonment. It turns on on the first try. You breathe a sigh of relief.

The problem arose in the fact that this grayscale day around you was eclipsed by his presence - as if he was the only object in full Technicolor - as soon as you’d noticed him. His smile was downright infectious, for one, and you honestly could have sworn your hand trembled when you clasped his in greeting.

“Hi, it’s great to meet you again.” He lit up the room with that smile, at least in your eyes. “Christian and the team have only sung your praises for the past few days.”

A softer sigh escapes you when you remember it, and your response: “Oh really? That’s good to hear - they haven’t exposed my worst secrets to you yet.”

“Your worst secrets?” He looked confused while you were busy taking off your coat.

“Yeah, you know,” you grinned, “that I’m secretly a terrible driver who has autopilot installed on her car, or that I’m awfully annoying. So they don’t scare you off, you know?”

To you, his laugh sounded like silver bells, and spring awakening in your chest, and a golden spark blooming into fireworks inside you, and every cliche thing you’ve ever read about in books. You had heard it in recorded interviews and distantly at parties you both got invited to, obviously, but the attraction fully hit you now that you were standing face to face.

Oh, attraction. That’s what it was. You hum and sit down on the couch, your teacup still scalding your fingertips. It's quiet everywhere but your thoughts. Actually, no, if you strain very hard, you might hear your downstairs neighbor's TV.

You couldn’t even fathom how headlines nicknamed him the rain of this cursed place, having spent half the meeting subtly glancing his way, and the other half trying to think of ways to look at him that weren’t… how should you put it? Outright creepy?

Hours later, you both stood in the car park under his umbrella - he’d insisted, and you really couldn’t bring yourself to say no. 

“What a Valentine’s Day, huh?” You chuckled, warming your hands in your pockets. He looked towards you - fuck, his eyes were beautiful - and shrugged.

“Never was a fan, really.”

“Me neither. I’ve never had anyone stick around long enough to celebrate properly.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “Any plans, then?”

“Not really. They set me up with a flat here back in December, so I’m just heading there for the night. Might get real freaky and order pizza, or something crazy like that.”

“Ooh, don’t go too wild.” He chuckled, and you joined heartily.

The LED headlights of your Uber bathed you both in white light, and you stepped out from under the umbrella. “Thanks for everything, Max. I’m looking forward to this season.”

“Yeah, no problem.” The pitter-patter of raindrops against concrete nearly drowned out his reply as you walked towards the car. He lingered for a moment, gazing at your retreating silhouette through the sheets of rain before unlocking his own car and leaving the car park empty of people once more.

You’re content to stare out of the window now, watching the raindrops race down the glass. The launch is tomorrow, and they'll announce you as the second Red Bull Racing driver. The world will either accept it, or be forced to deal with you for a year.

Truly? Honestly? You're just looking forward to becoming friends with Max.

It is barely 9 in the morning, but the late-July sun is dead-set on giving you a headache today, apparently.

The automated gates at the paddock entrance let you through, and a couple of photographers spot you from a short distance, snapping photos immediately. You grin joyfully, throwing up a peace sign at them before checking your watch.

You have time to make a detour.

The fans at the barrier buzz with excitement when you approach them, and you find yourself in an easy conversation with the front-most ones. It’s nice to hear people are fans of you sometimes, so what?

A girl thanks you profusely for signing her poster, and extends a pink friendship bracelet towards you. “Oh, here’s a birthday gift!”

“Aw, I love it, thank you! Do we match?” You smile, tightening it around your left wrist, right below your watch. The girl simply responds by showing her own wrist - indeed, she has a matching one.

The short detour takes longer than expected, and shortly, one of the  social media girls comes to find you. “You’re all great, thanks for coming to free practice!” You wave goodbye and jog to catch up to your coworker.

Your side of the garage is experiencing an unusual amount of activity, and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s happening - the people weren’t too subtle with their cameras either.

“She’s here, she’s here!” Someone yells, and you’re ushered into the middle of the crowd to stand in front of Anthea, your race engineer. Who is, shockingly, holding a cake.

“Happy birthday!!” The crowd roars, and you spot a bunch of the drivers hanging around as well - not that it isn’t obvious, what with the colorful fireproofs in a sea of navy polos. Charles and Pierre are standing somewhere in the middle of the crowd, Carlos and Lando in the back (granted, talking animatedly with each other as soon as the congratulating was over), Oscar and Logan to your left, close by. Max, of course, right next to Anthea.

The cake itself is Red Bull blue and checkered black-and-white on the top, a small model of your car right on top, surrounded by 22 lit candles.

In that instant, you feel indescribably loved. And it's a beautiful, sparkling feeling.

Are those tears rolling down your cheeks? Oh no, they are. And you worked so hard on your eyeliner today - you feel Oscar and Logan each put an arm around your shoulders as you wipe the skin under your eyes dry. 

“Happy birthday, dude. You’re finally old enough for preschool.” You yelp when Oscar ruffles your hair lovingly and swat at his hand.

“No, Osc, come on!” You laugh through tears, fixing your hair hurriedly. “Who organized this?”

Anthea grins at you, and Max suddenly looks extremely invested in the concrete floor underneath Logan’s feet. “Max suggested it, I think he was the only one who knew about it? Other than, like, Horner and the people who did your paperwork.”

A soft blush appears on your face, though you feel it burning your cheeks and ears to high heaven. Or at least that’s what it feels like - maybe it doesn’t look so bad to everyone around you. “You guys are the best, seriously. Thank you, Max, and everyone for making it happen.”

“Yeah, yeah, you big sap. Blow out the candles already.” Logan pipes up, and the entire garage chuckles. You roll your eyes in mock annoyance, but lean forward with a silent wish in mind, and blow them out in one breath.

Afterwards, you vaguely remember Oscar trying to shove your face into the cake when the candles and car were taken off - and failing - but the minutes after were so chaotic that it felt like one moment you were standing there, hugging your best friends, and the next you’re sat atop a countertop with Max, both attacking the chocolate cake with vigor. 

“Oh my God, this is so good,” you practically moan, your mouth full. “Is this Belgian chocolate?”

Max is swinging his legs, hitting your right calf rhythmically with his foot. “Yeah, I think so. I’d be disappointed if it wasn’t.”

“Me, too,” you nod, licking off the ganache stuck to your fork. “Hopefully practice won’t be a complete tragedy today.”

“It’ll be good. The data shows it,” he says, completely sure of himself, before hurriedly adding, “I think. I- well, I know. Anthea told me.”

“Good, then. It’ll just be my shit driving that will put me in the wall then.” You nudge his shoulder with yours, but his core strength is greater than you expect and, alas, he doesn’t even move. For a moment, you kind of want to stay stuck to him, leeching off his body heat.

However, it is July, and you are just friends.

He nudges you back - more like shoves, you nearly go flying - and clicks his tongue. “You always say that, but it only happened in Canada. And it wasn’t even your fault.”

You blush, again. Annoyingly. Were you overthinking, or was he keeping track of your results during the season?

“And you’ve already got three podiums. It’s great for a rookie.”

He was definitely keeping track.

You lower your head, smiling. “Thanks, Max. Seriously. For the surprise and the support you’ve given me - it means so, so much.”

“It’s really no problem. I think you’re very talented.”

“I can’t believe you knew when my birthday was,” you pipe up when he takes a breath in between monologues.

It’s evening now, and the late July sun is streaming golden light through the window of Max’ room at the Belgium Grand Prix paddock. You’re standing in the doorway, chewing on your drinking straw absentmindedly while he talks about the data gathered in FP1 and FP2 - as if you weren’t in the debrief together. Or, you know, as if you don't drive the same car. It’s a habit of his that many could find annoying and is nothing but endearing to you.

He looks a bit taken aback, but after a moment simply says “I can’t believe no one’s ever celebrated it with you like this.”

You shrug. “People don’t really stick around enough. Or, most of the time, my friends and family were too far away to make plans,” is your reply. “You know how it is - moving to Monaco as soon as you can and leaving everyone behind.”

“It’s a shame, though.” He’s studying your face now, and you feel some emotion between ‘uncomfortable’ and ‘flustered’ when you notice how he’s checking you out. Or maybe he isn’t?

“It is, but so what?” 

“You deserve to celebrate your birthday properly.” He says it so matter-of-factly, like it’s a no-brainer. Which it may be - you’ve had birthdays, and they were great, but they seem like such a long-lost part of your childhood that it takes you a moment to remember when you last held a party.

“I did. Just- well, just not with other people.” You did. Really. You took yourself out to breakfasts and treated yourself to flowers and books and new shoes, occasionally. It’s just that you did it alone most of the time.

“Would you be opposed to celebrating with other people?” Why does he look like he has something planned?

“...Do you have something planned?”

“No, but we could go hang out. Grab dinner somewhere, and a drink after, maybe?” 

It’s a casual request, and you feel inclined to accept. Maybe you’re a bit brave, or a bit stupid, or just a bit head-over-heels when you laugh softly and nod. “Sure, what is this? A date?”

Now he’s the one who looks flustered. “Uh… sure. If you want it to be one.” 

“Sure.” You’re smiling again, and when he moves on to his next talking point, you’re more than happy to keep chewing on your straw and listening.

Ripping open the wrapping paper to reveal a plain cardboard box, you send the camera guy in front of you a worried glance.

It’s a lovely, warm November morning in Abu Dhabi, and the Secret Santa event is wrapping up. You had gotten Logan - who was practically too easy to shop for - but now it’s your turn to open your present, and you’re nervous.

“Hopefully it won’t explode?” You joke, then run your nail under the piece of tape holding the box closed. When you manage to get it open, your lips curl upwards into a bright smile.

The box is full to the brim without any of the items cluttering together - whoever packed this had to have put immense care into it. You spot a pair of fuzzy socks, candles, bath salts, a bottle of French wine, and many other small self-care items.

“Aww, this is so sweet- Oh, there’s no way.” You pull out the last thing, which is a copy of ‘The Book Thief’ by Markus Zusak. “This is my favorite book,” you tell the camera, having a sense of who this is from, “and I remember I was talking to Max the other day about how sad I was that I lost my copy on a flight a few months ago. We agreed to start a book club over winter break.” 

The media employees chuckle at the thought, and you join them. “More like, I made him. Yeah, this is from him.”

“It is.” The woman holding the microphone confirms.

They leave you sitting on the white couch on the terrace, a small smile still tugging at the corners of your lips while you read what he’d written on the inside cover:

‘Sorry I can’t hang out - my weekend is fully booked. How about Christmas at my place? - Max’

You roll your eyes and giggle. What an idiot.

Your idiot.

“Alright.” He starts when you both settle on the shaggy beige carpet in his living room. You’re both a bit buzzed - both having had screwdrivers for late Christmas breakfast, champagne on the balcony before lunch, red wine with the lunch itself, and now you’re nursing a mimosa while he finishes the champagne. Talk about day drinking.

“Alright. Presents, right? How do you want to, like… Should we alternate?” Your head tilts at the size of the pile of presents you definitely knew you didn’t bring.

“I was thinking we could go one by one, from the top, and just sort them by whose name is on it?” He suggests, legs stretching out in front of him. You smile when he playfully nudges your calf with his foot.

“Sounds good,” you nod, taking one last sip for the time being and leaving your glass on the coffee table.

Max reaches for the first present you got him - it’s wrapped in red and green with an obnoxiously large bow on the top - and is delighted when he sees that you’ve gotten him diecast models of his and your 2024 cars, different only in the numbers and the yellow T-cam on yours. He promises to keep them on his desk with a laugh, and hands you the next present.

Inexplicably, it’s wrapped in pink. With hearts all over it. And another obnoxiously large bow on top.

Wondering if he may secretly be colorblind (or unaware of Christmas traditions), you peer up at him with brows furrowed in confusion. Meanwhile, he’s handing you another two boxes: one white one with party hats all over, and another with a candy cane pattern.

“I got you three big presents. Since I wasn’t there for Valentine’s Day,” he says. Like it’s the most normal thing in the world. “Or your birthday.”

You can feel yourself start tearing up. “Max…”

He grimaces. “I’m so sorry. Should I have gotten more-”

“Max. We weren’t…” You swipe the tear off your left cheek, a little bit of eye pencil coming off with it. The alcohol is making you emotional, you tell yourself. “We weren’t even dating back then.”

“You were alone, though. I mean we did go on that date for your birthday, but it was just dinner. I, just…” He trails off, pulling at the carpet fibers. “You deserved better for this year.”

You set the box down gently, and move over to sit on his lap. He’s a little surprised when you hug him tightly, but he embraces you back quickly, one of his hands immediately reaching up to play with your hair.

“You’re one of the most thoughtful people I know. Thank you.” You whisper, and you can hear an exhale of a laugh when your breath tickles the back of his neck.

“It’s my pleasure, shatje.” He pats your shoulder, and you kiss him with a giggle still on your lips. Crawling off of him, you turn your attention back to the presents he gave you. The pink box holds the silkiest, softest cami nightgown you’ve ever touched; the one with party hats, a signed copy of your favorite author’s newest novel laying on top of a heavy navy blue knitted blanket. Arguably, though, the Christmas one is your favorite - a pair of Lightning McQueen Crocs. Signed by Charles Leclerc.

“You’re ridiculous,” you burst out laughing again while he only smirks and pours his champagne flute full once more. 

“You know it, darling."

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[so-much-for-the-seashells]

Inhibitions? What Are Those?

Jacob Palmer (Crazy, Stupid, Love) x EnglishTeacher!Reader

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters except for the reader insert and Lara!

Author’s Notes: Icon credit goes to @hollandsbabygirl !! She’s so talented!!

I have to admit, this fic is kinda dumb. But also kinda endearing? I dunno, you’ll see for yourself. It starts off as a fully formed idea and then I don’t really know what happened, but I had to get it out so here we are. It’s a fluffy sort of thing, hopefully enjoyable!

Anyway, as per usual, I love seeing your notes- they make my day!

Content/Content Warnings: minors dni! It’s not spicy, but we’ve got a good dose of suggestive themes.

You know, tonight was supposed to be something simple, nothing too crazy. A little celebration for finishing out the school year with Lara, my coworker.

And yet, I find myself sitting alone at the bar at ten-fifteen in the night, my friend having left with a total stranger an hour ago. Good for her, the woman she left with was gorgeous and seemed to be a good flirt, but alas, here I sit, alone.

Well, not completely alone. There’s a guy who’s been looking me up and down, catching my gaze every time I look his way. Lara had been trying to convince me to give him the time of day- well, time of night, I guess- but quite frankly, I’m just not feeling it. I’ve seen this guy here every time I’ve gone here, which is few and far between. My guess is he has more STDs than I’ve had students, which would be saying something.

Before he was sitting a seat away, but now he’s scooted down to the seat next to me.

“Heya, gorgeous. Can I buy you a drink?”

“Listen, jawline,” I say, giving him the once over.

“Jawline?” he makes a face, nose scrunched and lips in a line like he smells something bad. I raise my drink to my lips; take a small, languid, sip; before continuing.

“Whatever. I know your move, coming to the same bar every night to take home a different pretty lady, throwing out your lines and your casual chauvinism. It’s cute, but you can buzz off if you’re trying to work your fuck-boy charm on me,” I set my glass down on the bar with a slight thud to emphasize my point.

“My fuck-boy charm?” he smirks. And to his credit, he really is attractive. Pink lips curled up to a point with boyish, mischievous blue eyes- it’s conventional. More than, even. I’m just not having it. And he didn’t deny that he’s the slut I described him to be.

“I said what I said.”

“Wanna get out of here?” he tries. The audacity.

“No.”

“Worth a shot.”

“Mm.”

“So is all I’m getting one syllable answers now?” he looks amused. Not pissed, nor frustrated. Just amused.

“No.” And I can’t help it, but I smile as I say it. I can’t say I don’t see the charm.

“I got a smile,” he comments, a smirk playing at his lips.

“And at least three ladies awaiting you to escort one or all of them to your surely not humble abode,” I counter.

“Wow, you really don’t like me, huh?” he takes a sip of his very expensive whiskey.

“Maybe not you specifically, just your type.”

“What? Casual chauvinistic fuck boys?”

“Exactly,” that gets a slight huff out of me. Again, I see the appeal. I just don’t want to.

“Tell you what- you play pool?” he points to the pool table with his glass.

“Why?”

“Do you play?” I have a good feeling we could go question for question for three hours.

I turn up my nose. “Sure. Why?“

“I’ve got a proposition for you, if you’re interested,” he says. His voice has a slight hint of New York to it, proposition sounding like prop-ah-sition.

“I’m not interested,” I say, knowing he’s going to explain it anyway.

“Good. I tell you what- you win, I’ll buzz off. I win, and because you’re into this, you consider a kiss,” he proposes.

“Mm. You buzzing off or me just considering? I like these odds,” I down the rest of my drink. “Let’s do it.”

“Sounds good,” again with that smirk before turning to the bartender. “Another for the lady? On my tab.”

“Wow, what a gentleman,” I snark.

“I try,” he says, grabbing my drink from the bartender with a thank you and handing it to me. I down it right then and there.

“Thanks,” I smirk, before walking off to the pool table. Sure, I don’t need the extra kick in the pants right now, but what can I say? It’s fun.

He follows suite, somehow having grabbed yet another of my drink in doing so.

“You gonna down this one too, Dollface?” he asks, handing it to me.

“What did you just call me, jackass?”

“Dollface. Why? You don’t like it?”

I plaster the fakest smile I can manage onto my face and then in my highest voice, say “Noo, I love it.”

He laughs. “Lovely voice you’ve got there.”

“Why thank you. It’s good for attracting hot douchebags.”

“Hot Jacobs,” he corrects, holding out his hand.

“Y/n. Let’s not forget I called you a douchebag.” I drop the voice, shaking his hand briefly.

“Mm. Y/n,” my name sounds like honey coming off of his lips. “You know, Y/n, we could just skip this silly game and head straight to my place.” He’s standing barely six inches away.

“Tempting, but this ‘silly game’ was your idea,” I counter, leaning up.

“A dumb idea, if I do say so myself,” he says, eyes trained on my lips.

“Well thats too bad. I was looking forward to some good old fashioned billiards,” I smirk, holding up a pool rod between us.

“Who am I to deny a lady?” there’s a double entendre in those words that against my will gives me chills.

“You seem like the type to. Color me impressed,” I respond, keeping my composure.

“What color is ‘impressed’?”

“Maybe a blue, or an orange?”

“Those are polar opposites,” he notes.

“Huh,” I say, setting up the balls in the triangular holder, and then removing it.

“Ladies first,” he says, stepping behind me.

“Gee, thanks,” I say, lining up a shot. I can sense him behind me, so I rear back the rod, hoping to hit him in the stomach, and then take my shot, making a ball in the furthest hole away from me. I smirk, hearing his oof from behind me, and turn around.

“Oops,” I snicker.

He sticks out his tongue, holding his stomach.

“Aww, you look like one of my kids,” I mock.

“You have kids?” he looks a little alarmed by the notion.

“I teach fourth grade English,” I explain. “Why?”

“Oh, I was going to say I could be a good daddy if you’d give me the chance,” he rubs the back of his head. I grimace.

“I ought to hit you again.”

“No, no, please don’t, I’m sorry,” he holds up his hands in mock surrender.

“You love your double entendres, huh?”

“A little too much, some might say.”

“I would have to agree with this omniscient some,” I say, taking a long sip of my drink.

“Did I make you uncomfortable with that last one? I’m sorry if I did.” Huh. Genuineness. Didn’t expect that one.

“No, you’re fine. It was kinda funny,” I tell him, a smile playing at my lips.

“Alright, if you say so. But if I do make you uncomfortable feel free to hit me again,” he offers.

“You into that?” I joke.

“Maybe a little,” he laughs, sipping his whiskey.

“Can I try your drink?”

“Sure…” he hands it to me, looking a little confused.

I take it in my hands, and throw the glass back, drinking whatever was left of it, including the ice cube. I suck my teeth because of how strong the liquor is- just what I need for what I’m about to say.

“Uh-,” I hold up a hand to his face, taking my sweet time to crunch down the ice cube.

“How about we ditch pool and head back to your place?”

And it’s sudden. And it’s rash. And it’s probably really, really dumb.

But it also feels right, and for that reason there is no end of confidence in my voice.

Sure, we could stay here and flirt another hour, but no matter how it were to be caused the outcome would be the same, that we would go home together.

And honestly, so be it.

“Yeah,” he says, the surprise in his voice evident but matched by a rasp forged by apparent attraction. His electric blue eyes are blown out, the black of his pupils overtaking his irises. Yet somehow he manages to regain his smirk, retaining his suave aura.

Fine. He’s hot. And all of my prior inhibitions have dissipated into a state of nonexistence.

***

Fifteen minutes later, I’m sitting on his couch, apparently filled with the down of only black swans, waiting for him to join me. I look around, at his movie theater sized screen, his expensive coffee table, the fancy lamps and other furnishings. The furniture itself is relatively sparse, yet spaced with purpose. Also, every piece seems to be worth more than my yearly salary. But there’s nothing that really says anything about this Jacob.

Jacob Palmer, was his full name, as he had told me on the way here. And yet nothing in this room tells me anything about Jacob Palmer.

The enigma himself emerges back into the living room with two orange-ish drinks in hand. “Here you are,” he says, handing me one.

I stand up to take it from him, immediately rising a dip. It starts off tasting orangey and sweet, and then turns bitter and tastes something like glass cleaner. I do everything in my power not to grimace.

“You hate it, don’t you,” he comments. There’s no offense in his voice, if anything just a hint of amusement.

“No, it’s great,” I day, trying to take another sip, unable to stop myself from puckering due to the bitterness. “You made it?”

“Yeah,” he’s fully smiling now.

“Oh, lovely- could I just see your glass?” He hands it to me. I pour my drink into his, and the hand the full glass back to him as if it’s some wonderful gift.

“You’re adorable,” he chuckles, sipping the nasty drink and sitting on the couch. I follow suite, sitting next to him so our knees are touching.

“Tell me something about yourself, Jacob Palmer,” I say after a few moments of silence. His brow furrows, eyes slightly wide as he looks at me.

“About myself?” the surprise in his voice breaks my heart a little. Who is this man?

“Yeah, about yourself.” My voice is gentle, this feels fragile.

He sighs. Not in discontent, but with a tinge of wistfulness. “When I was eight, I had a dog named Brownie. He was a chocolate lab, and for some reason eight-year-old me thought that was a good name for him,” he laughs fondly.

“He sounds adorable,” I prompt.

“He was… he was my favorite little dude. But not my mom’s. One day he “went missing” and I never ended up finding out what happened to him,” Jacob sinks back into the cushion of the couch. I tentatively put a hand on his thigh.

“Oh, Jacob, I’m so sorry,” I mumble.

“No, I’m sorry- that’s about as unsexy as story as I could’ve told.”

“Heh, I’ve heard worse.”

“That makes me feel less bad.”

“Good, it was meant to.”

A few moments go by as I trace little circles on his thigh, close to his knee. He takes a hefty sip of his drink.

“Okay, tell me something about yourself, Y/n L/n,” he says, turning to me, his blue-eyed gaze boring holes into my soul.

“Uhh… my favorite movie is Ghost,” I say, shrugging.

“Well that’s a bit lighter than what I said,” he jokes.

“Light? Did you just call Patrick Swayze light?” I say with melodrama. “He is literally everything to me, rest in peace.” I send a kiss up to the sky to prove my point.

“Oh yeah? How do you feel about Dirty Dancing?”

“The only movie I like more is Ghost,” I answer.

“Well… you know the move? The big move?” he asks, setting his glass down on the coffee table.

“The one where he…” I mime Patrick Swayze’s infamous lift of Jennifer Grey.

“Yeah, that’s the one. I can do that,” he says, looking at me, dead serious.

“You’re shitting me,” I say indignantly. There’s no way this random hot stranger at the bar can do the lift.

He stands up. “Come on!” he says, offering a hand. I take it, and he lifts me up. Shit, I can already tell he’s strong. Maybe he really can do it.

“Stand here, ok?” he directs, hands on my waist as he positions me. His hands are well manicured and pleasantly soft. He then walks off about three yards from me, thumbs in the belt loops of his jeans.

My heart is pounding out of my chest, from nerves and excitement. I couldn’t have stopped myself from running into those soft hands if I had wanted to once he said go. And man, I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s how attractive it is that he can lift me up like this, that I’m about seven feet off the ground, or that he you know, just Swayze-d me, but once he lets me down, holding me so that my legs are no longs straight in the air and instead wrapped around his waist, once we’re eye to eye again I can’t help but kiss him full force and whisper bedroom as he pulls away briefly before chasing my lips again.

And man, that was a long sentence. Absolutely embarrassing-appalling, even- for an English teacher.

But I guess that’s just the Jacob Palmer effect.

***

I’m lying beside him, looking at the ceiling. We’re both stark naked, and out of breath. My hand is interlocked with his, the only acknowledgment of each other.

My legs tingle as I lie there limply, I’m sure that they’re going to remember this night for a few days.

What had pleasantly surprised me about Jacob Palmer was that he was more focused on my pleasure than his, almost like he got off via me getting off.

He was so methodical, so calculated and perfect with the way he did everything. With the way he slowly brought me to the edge three times, every time making me progressively more weak in the knees. He obviously knew what he was doing from experience, but that didn’t bother me in the moment with how good he was. Especially with how he managed to ease my typical tenseness into a babbling mess.

And all of a sudden I’m giggling uncontrollably, finally recognizing how unreal what just happened was.

“What?” he turns toward me, laughing with me.

“I-just-,” I can’t stop laughing. “You’re not real! With the Swayze, and the movie theater screen, and the sex- god, the sex!”

“That good?” he looks a little smug. Honestly, well deserved. Most of the guys I’ve been with can’t even find the clit much less get a girl off three times.

“Yes!” I cry. “But also, who needs three toasters and a movie theater sized popcorn machine?” My voice is hysterical, as if I’m on anesthesia.

“No one! Except me apparently,” he hides his face in his pillow.

“I’m sorry,” I say, trying to catch my breath. “It’s just that you’re such an enigma to me.”

“You aren’t that easy to figure out yourself, Dollface,” he concurs, peaking one eye out at me. His eyelashes are so long. We sit there smiling at each other for a minute, before this new wired me decides to dramatically ask for a drink.

“You want a water? Coke? Tab?” he sits up, moving to get out of the bed. The cover is strewn haphazardly over his waist, exposing his Adonis belt. But instead of admiring his physique, I laugh.

“Tab? Who the hell drinks Tab?”

“No one!” he snorts.

“Then why do you have it?”

“For the same reason I have a screen that used to belong to a movie theater! I’m deeply unhappy and trying to disprove that money can’t buy happiness.”

“And?”

“And whoever the hell said it the first time was right- I’m still unhappy.”

“Shit, Jacob,” I say, sitting up next to him, not caring that I’m completely topless. “I’m sorry.”

This explains these constant one night stands of his. The bar being his second home. He wants to feel loved, to feel happy. It’s like the enigma’s beginning to unravel.

“Tell you what. Wanna take a bath?”

“What?” I can’t stifle the disbelief in my voice, the enigma’s rewound itself into a tight ball.

“The buying thing? I have so, so many bath products and shit. That I don’t use,” he confesses, looking me in the eyes.

“In that case,” I say as seriously as I can manage. “I would love to take a bath.”

His poker face cracks at that, and he stands up, offering me a hand. “My lady?”

“Milord,” I take it, letting him pull me up and sweep me into a kiss so all-consuming that I’m just about ready to forgo all ideas and go right back to the bed.

“Mk,” I hum breathlessly. “Where’s the fridge?”

“Well, the drink fridge is next to the popcorn machine,” he says.

“Drink fridge? As in specifically for drinks.” I take his ashamed blush as confirmation. “Noted,” I say, scurrying off in all my nude glory leaving him to start the bath that we, two adults, plan to take.

***

“Okay, let’s use rose and strawberry and orange,” I dictate, hands grazing over the racks of bath salts. “And the bubbles.”

“Perfect,” he says, taking a long swig of the orange soda I had grabbed for him. I had taken a strawberry- apparently he has literally every flavor.

“How do you have all this pop and never drink it?” I ask, touching the bath water to make sure it’s warm. It is.

“For these, I guess,” he motions to his abs.

I blow a raspberry at him. “Boring.”

He blows a raspberry back at me, before dumping half of a container of bath salt into the water. “Think that’s enough?”

“Meh,” I say, prompting him to pour the rest of the jar. We throw some other things in the bath as if we’re witches in a cartoon movie making a potion, and then finally hop in.

I’m sat with my back against his chest as we laugh about nothing.

“Jacob?” I ask once our laughter’s died down. He’s holding me close, strong forearms wrapped around my stomach.

“Yeah?”

“Why are you so unhappy?”

“I don’t think you want the answer to that, it’s about as unsexy as the dog thing.”

“You’re too sexy to be unsexy, Jacob Palmer.” I think I’m addicted to saying his full name.

He sigh, hugging me impossibly closer. “Uh… my dad. He was a really good man, too good some might say. Just a sweet guy, you know?”

He takes a second, presumably regaining his thoughts. “He died when I was little. I think my mom’s happiness went with him. She was so beautiful, but very vain. I think he kept that side of her away, but once he was gone…”

He sighs again, and I shift so I can look up at him. “I think you’re a lot like your dad,” I say, not really knowing how to comfort him. “Sure, you come off as a… what did I say? Casual chauvinist? A fuckboy? But you’re actually a really good guy.”

“And how would you know that? We’ve known each other for hours.”

“For that reason exactly. I don’t usually get a good vibe on people fast, but you… you’re different.”

“Thanks, Y/n,” he kisses me on the lips softly. “Can you tell me something about yourself? I feel like I’ve shared too much,” he laughs awkwardly.

“Hmm… I don’t love teaching,” I confess. I’ve never actually said that out loud.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I shouldn’t have stuck with it, and it’s so hard to do it just for the three or so kids who actually care, you know? And English? Who fucking cares about English?”

“You do.”

“Yeah, but did you?”

“No,” he confesses sheepishly.

“Exactly. And I’m even getting that from teaching ten year olds. It’s just not… worth it? From the pay and the general outcome, it really isn’t.”

“Then quit!”

“And do what?”

“Become a dancer- I saw how straight your back was on that lift,” he compliments, trying to get a smile out of me. He succeeds.

“That would be the dream. And probably more practical than teaching, financially speaking.”

“Yeah… does the garbage man get paid more than you?” he jokes.

“Yep.” My voice is a deadpan.

“Damn.”

“Yeah,” I lie back against his toned chest.

“You’ll figure something out, I’m sure of it.”

“Whys that?”

“Because,” he starts, voice full of conviction. “You’re incredible.”

“You’re not so bad yourself.” And yes, it’s only been a few hours. It’s dramatic and kinda crazy and stupid. But it feels right?

And so maybe we stay up into the ass crack of dawn, talking about everything and nothing at all. Maybe we find ourselves sleeping the day away, only to rinse and repeat tonight tomorrow night. Maybe we go on a real date, and we see where our paths take us.

But for now, I think we both just need to focus on the happiness in the moment. So that’s what we do, even whilst covered in bubbles taking a bath- as adults.

[a-sleepy-raven]

💙 coworkers to lovers with leon??? ☺️

Thank you for your request, dear anon, and my apologies for the long wait. I hope you enjoy it nevertheless. :)

prompt: 💙 coworkers to lovers

Leon Kennedy x gn!reader – coworkers to lovers (HCs)

Given the line of work Leon is in, he spends a lot of time with his coworkers. He might not be the most social person after everything that’s happened to him but he still makes an effort to actually remember their faces and names because he just spends so much time around them. That being said, he wouldn’t exactly consider them his friends – and he definitely can’t see himself getting closer to any of them.

However, his whole attitude about this changes the moment you join the team. There’s just something about you that draws Leon in, no matter how much he tries to fight it. And he really tries to fight it because you’re in the same team and it’s heavily frowned upon to get involved with each other under these circumstances. So, no matter how much he likes you or how interesting you are, Leon will most likely push you away at first.

He also tries to convince himself that working together with you is more than enough for him because, at least, that means you can spend some time with each other. However, it doesn’t really help with the growing attraction between the two of you, and he considers asking the higher ups to transfer you to a different team, just to get some peace of mind, but then he’d have to explain why he’s asking for the transfer and that would make things even more complicated. So, he just sucks it up and hopes that what he’s feelings for you is just a stupid crush that will go away soon.

It doesn’t go away, though, and Leon finds himself more and more drawn to you as the time goes by. He also starts to be less reserved around you and actually strikes up conversations with you and laughs at your jokes and teasing remarks. He feels oddly at peace around you, like nothing else matters when you’re there – a feeling he’s been craving for quite a while now if he’s being honest with himself. 

The more you grow on him, the more Leon wants to be around you. He finds excuses to stay at the office longer, like a report he needs to finish (though it’s already been handed in), just to spend more time with you. Sometimes, when he notices that you’re once again working without taking a proper break, he brings you tea or coffee to cheer you up a little. It’s also quite obvious to your other coworkers that Leon likes you, based on the little things he does for you and the way his gaze lingers on you when you pass him by.  

Better be prepared for the infamous invitation to dinner sooner or later. As much as Leon is self-confident and stern during missions, he’s an awkward mess when it comes to casual interactions, even more so when it comes to you. Of course, he tries to play it cool but it’s quite obvious how nervous he is about asking you out. (Every time he thinks back to this moment he can’t help but wonder how he got you to say Yes. It’s beyond him why you agreed to go out with him.)

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed it, please consider reblogging, liking and/or leaving feedback. I'd really appreciate the support! &lt;3

[c-m-stuff]

They Know

-Description: You and Spencer are having a secret relationship. When the others find out, they tried to play a game with you.

-Warnings: Fluffiness, mention of smut

-Word count: 1859

-Note: Hey y'all, I'm finally back with a brand new one shot! This time, it's one with a lot of POV switch, but I made it clear who's POV it now is. Also, a huge pile of lines are from one of my favorite series. Friends - 5x14

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_________________________

Y/N POV:

Keeping a secret relationship from your coworkers and friends is hard. Keeping a secret relationship from profilers was just impossible. But Spencer and I gave it a shot anyway. We thought that we were superheroes. Hidding a relationship from people you work everyday with? Not even to mention the person you fell in love with works there too, and no one expected a thing? Yes, we were superheroes. At least that's what we thought. But that one party at David's changed my mind.

It was Spring, and to celebrate Easter, we all got invited to David's for a nice breakfast. Nice, you'd think? It was until Emily went to Spencer, who just took place at the kitchen island.

'Hello, Mr. Bicep. You're working out?'

'Um, no. Are you okay?'

'If you really want to know... No, I can't tell you this.'

'You can tell me anything, Emily.'

'Actually, you are the one person I can't tell this to. And the person I want to the most.'

'What is going on?'

'I just haven't been with a guy in so long... And sometimes you're looking for something... And it's right there in front of you...

Now you have something to think about. I know, I will.' she ended the conversation, walking back to the girls, leaving a stunned Spencer behind.

_________________________

This all happened without me knowing it. But when we went to his apartment, he began telling:

'(Y/N)?' he called me, as I just took place at the couch.

'Yes, love?'

'Something weird happened today at the party. I think... Emily was flirting with me.'

'What?' I asked, confused, while he took place next to me.

'Yeah, it was weird.'

'You probably misunderstood.'

'No, I'm serious. I know, I'm not that good at social clues, but I really think she was flirting with me.' he said it in such a serious tone, that I had no other choice than believing him.

I thought for a moment, until my thought went to one person in particular. The only person who knows about us. It was not that is was on purpose, she caught us kissing once.

'Oh God, you don't think Penelope told her about us do you?'

'Okay, is it so hard to believe that I am just maybe attractive to other girls?' he teased me with a giggle. I joined him in his laughter, placing my hand on his lap.

'You are very attractive, honey. I just don't think you are Emily her type. You are my type.' I smiled in the kiss that followed, while his hands found their home in my hair.

'Good.'

_________________________

The next day:

It was lunch break at the BAU, and the genius and I decided to casually pick Penelope up for the lunch, as well to ask her about Emily.

We knocked on the door before opening it. There she was, the tech queen. She turned her chair around, facing us.

'Hello, my buttercups. To what do I owe this nicely visit?'

'Hello, Penny. We wanted to ask you to go eat lunch with us.'

'Of cour-'

'But, I have a question first.' I cut her off, leaving her confused.

'Did you told Emily about us?'

'I didn't tell them!' Penelope immediately answered.

'Who's "them"?'

'Emily and... Penelope.' she tried to save her ass, but it was too late.

'Penny...'

'And our whole team. I would have told you, but I promised not to tell.' we looked shocked at her, and yet we weren't that surprised, either.

'I'm sorry. But it's over now, right? You can tell them you know they know, and I can go back to knowing nothing!'

'Unless.' I began, thinking, when Penelope immediately began to protest.

'No, no. No "unless". This must end now.' a smirk was plastered on my lips, as I figured out what to do.

'They think they are so slick messing with us! But they don't know that we know that they know. So...' Spencer began getting my plan, now smirking as well, while finishing my line:

'The messers become the messees!'

'Come on, you guys. Think how much fun it would be to tell.' Penelope tried but had no chance.

'Oh no, they think they can mess with us? Let's see how far Emily would go. We're going to play this game all along. Spence, call her and invite her in your apartment for a steamy night.'

'Wha-what?' he asked, confused. I smiled at his adorableness.

'Not for real, of course. We let her come and convince her that you are in love with her. I'm telling you, she will never expect that phone call from you.' he began now laughing lightly himself, taking his phone out of his pocket. He dialed her number and putted it on speaker.

'Hello, you.' we heard through the other side of the line. I whispered something in his ear.

'Emily, I've been thinking about you all day. You know that thing you said before? I was intrigued.'

'R-really?' the abruptness was noticeable. I giggled softly.

'Yeah, why don't you come over? I'll let you feel my bicep and maybe more.'

'I'll have to get back to you on that.' and the line got on hold. We laughed, while Penelope began to track their phones.

'Oh yeah, they're all together. Oh, she texted me! She wants to know if I told you about them knowing.'

'So, they know our plan now, but how far will they go?' I thought out loud, as we heard Emily her voice again.

'I'd love to come by tonight. Say around 7? I'm really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse.' and she hung up.

We all looked a bit shocked, not expecting that she would actually come. But, we were also determined not to lose.

_________________________

That evening:

'Make her think you want to have sex with her and it will freak her out!' I told my boyfriend when we were back in his apartment. It was almost 7 p.m., she could be here any moment.

'How far am I gonna have to go with her?'

'She'll give in way before you do.' I assured him, knowing deeply that Emily felt nothing for Spencer.

'How do you know?'

'Because you're on my team. My team always wins.' I said, sarcastically, while going through his soft hair, placing it just right.

'At this?' he laughed, but I could see the nerves that he was feeling.

'You got this.' at that moment, we heard the sound of the doorbell. I gave him a quick kiss and disappeared in the bathroom.

I heard Spencer opening the door and Emily coming in. Spencer began talking:

'So here we are.'

'Nervous?'

'Me? No. You?'

'I want this to happen.' she said, confident.

'So do l.'

'I'm going to put on some music.' I heard Spencer say.

'Maybe I'll dance for you.' while the music was lightly audible, there was a silent pause. The two not knowing what to say. Spencer was the one who started making conversation again.

'You look good.'

'Thanks.'

'You know, when you say things like that, it makes me... Want to rip that sweater vest right off.' Emily continued, as I heard my boyfriend make a genius comeback.

'Why don't we move into the bedroom?'

'Really?' she said, flabbergasted and nervous, definitely not expecting that.

'Do you not want to?'

'First I want to take off all my clothes... And have you rub lotion on me.'

'That-that would be nice. I'll go get the lotion.' a few seconds later and Spencer opened the bathroom door.

'It's way out of hand. She wants me to put lotion on her!' he exclaimed, getting more nervous.

'She's bluffing! You can do this, my love. Hang in there a little longer, she is gonna crack!'

_________________________

Team POV:

In the meanwhile, Emily opened the door to the hallway, meeting Penelope, JJ and Derek.

'He's not backing down. He went to get lotion.'

'It's Reid. You can take him.' Derek told her, all enjoying the sensation of the game they came up with.

'Oh, I know it! Show him your bra. He's afraid of bras. Can't work them.' Derek opened the bottom buttons of her dress, smoothly, her black bra showing off just enough.

'You didn't rip off any buttons.' Emily said, impressed.

'It's not my first time.' the group of agents laughed, as they heard the bathroom door go open again.

'Go back there and seduce him till he cracks!'

_________________________

Spencer's POV:

I came out of the bathroom, seeing Emily closing the front door.

'You're going?'

'Not without you, lover.'

'So, this is my bra.' she walked closer to me, her bra visibly in sight. It made me even more nervous than I already was.

'It's very nice.' I tried to stay in my roll, my voice cracking a bit.

'Well, come here. I'm very happy we're going to have all the sex.'

We were standing now close together. I prayed in my head that she just gave up. She placed her hand on my thigh, not breaking eye contact.

'I'll kiss you now.'

'Not if I kiss you first.'

'I guess there's nothing left for us to do but kiss.' I hesitated, just hoping (Y/N) would run out of the bathroom and stop this.

'Here it comes. Our first kiss.' we both hesitated, but the drang to win was bigger. Our faces came slowly closer to one another and suddenly our lips were sealed in a really awkward, uncomfortable kiss. I couldn't take it any longer, as I ended the kiss and jumped away from her.

'Okay, okay, okay, okay! You win!' I yelled, while both the bathroom door and the front door swung open, revealing my girlfriend and the others who were all eavesdropping.

'I can't have sex with you!'

'And why not?'

'I'm in love with (Y/N)!'

'You're what?' Emily asked, shocked.

'That's right! I love her, I love her!' I repeated, while pointing at (Y/N) who was standing in shock. I walked towards her, a smile appeared.

'I love you, (Y/N).'

'I love you too, Spencer.' our lips captured in a sweet, yet passionate kiss. Everyone got quiet, smiles on all their faces.

'I thought you were doing it. I didn't know you were in love!' Emily confessed, when we ended the kiss.

'Hats off to Emily. Quite a competitor.' I praised her, as she nodded in reply.

We ended this eventful night with a drink and some appetizers. I may lost the game, but I won the love of my life. And, that is everything I ever wanted.

[witheringwidgetwrites]

Hello! I was wondering if you’d do a headcanon with our lovely demon brothers that have a s/o with a heavy yet still cute country accent? I have one myself and I genuinely curious to know their reactions! To add to that, maybe their s/o just calls basically everyone they meet “darlin’”

Absolutely,,, as I also have a southern accent myself! I am basing this off my personal customer service voice because that's how I got most tips lol

Lucifer

First he finds it a tad hard to understand you, especially the euphemisms.

Even if you explain, he's still confused.

Once he gets used to it, he's kind of drawn to it, it's a nice change of pace.

If you call him darlin, expect to see a light blush graze his cheeks.

A little disappointed once he realizes you call everyone that, and he's mortified when you call LORD DIAVOLO that right to his face!

Mammon

Definitely into it. Finds it endearing.

Gets so flustered when you call him darlin!!! until he hears you call someone else it,,,

Will probably poke fun at you, and definitely mimics it when he's alone. Tries to find out how you do it!!

Once you saw him down the hallway and waved, yelling "hey darlin'!" and he turned around, looking around. (Think the tiktok trend 'it's shredder, WHERE')

Leviathan

Has only heard it a few times in his entire life! There's a few animes like, 'Help! My Girlfriend Turned Into A Horse On Her Family Farm' and 'My Cute New American Coworker Just Moved Here And I Can't Understand Them!'

Lowkey attracted to it. Finds himself fantasizing about you and things you could say to him.

Runs away when he hears "Thank you Darlin'!" come from your lips. Genuinely bolts. Turns around, and just books it. I can't explain to you how fast he ran.

Gets quite jealous when he hears you call someone else darlin tho, starts thinking stuff like, 'oh of course it wasn't anything specific' or 'of course they didnt mean it in.... that way'

lol probably reminds him of Applejack from MLP. He's definitely watched it.

Asmodeus

Loves it. Adores it. Will outright ask you to say things. Specifically loves the way you say anything with a OW sound, like tOWn.

Starts to call you darling more as well. "My dearest darling, MC, come take a selfie with me!!"

Tries to dress you up in a lil cowperson getup. Hat, jeans, everything. Maybe jean shorts. Now he's fantasizing about all the cute ways he could dress you up!

Satan

Another boy that's intrigued. It's new to him, and he loves to be curious. Probably looks up southern customs.

He definitely researches courting customs from your area, but is disappointed when he finds out how old the traditions are, so you have absolutely no idea he's been trying to court you for months.

Doesn't mind the nickname, is also jealous though. Sometimes he has trouble understanding you through the thickness of your accent.

Beelzebub

Cocks his head at you when you first speak. Almost taken aback.

Grows on him quickly. He enjoys the nickname, and he's the least jealous of the brothers, besides maybe Asmo. He thinks it's so sweet to hear you call his brothers darlin!

First tries to get you to make human recipes the best you can, he wants to learn about your "culture" as he puts it.

Also tries to court you through customs, but he tries to make food from your home! It takes a while for him to get to this point though, and he's very bashful.

Belphegor

First hears you sass back Lucifer while he's in the attic. He likes the accent. Hates you. Chuckles a little, disappointed when Lucifer turns you away.

Probably mocks you, honestly. Mimicking your accent, poking a little fun at the way you say certain words, like 'water' and 'town'.

When you both grow closer, he hears the nickname for the first time. You can see a slight blush grow on his cheeks before he scoffs and starts to fall asleep.

Doesn't mind when you call Beel darlin, but anyone else? kind of a different story.

Probably also teases you, tickling you from behind before leaning real close and saying, "Want me to stop, darlin'?"

[cho-aaacho]

Hello! Thank you for reading my William fanfics! William is such an interesting character, and his friendship with Wesker is something I love about him. I've got an idea about this, and I hope you like it. Sorry for the wait!

𝑳𝑼𝑽𝑶𝑹𝑨𝑻𝑶𝑹𝑹𝑹𝑹𝑹𝒀!

Tags : Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Crushes, Secret Crush, Admiration, Caretaking, Soft William, LUVORATORRRRRY! Reference.

Summary : It's not easy to unravel his feelings. Grasping the hues of his reds and blues, at least you try to feel them. But... did he feel that too?

"Why don't you tell him yourself? I know William would be so happy if it came from your mouth." 

"What—you can't because—oh, okay. I understand. I'll tell William. After that, make sure to take your medicine, or William will go crazy when he finds out you aren't in the lab for too long."

"You don't want him to know you have a fever? Weird. But... you can't order me around! I'm the one in charge here."

Never thought in your wildest mind you'd call Albert Wesker in the morning.

You know very well what he was thinking. Strict demeanor, cold glare, and disinterested voice, criticizing not only your teamwork but also your choice of outfit.

He is the most hated scientist in the entire facility. The monster. A living Frankenstein. Though his face is extremely attractive to a scientist, he is still an asshole in the laboratory.

You always hope that Spencer transfers him to another facility so you can spend your lab days with William or Alex. He is so different from William Birkin.

In almost everything, they're so different. It feels like the two are like the moon and Venus.

William's supportive presence, soft-spoken voice, and eyes that always gleam when he talks to you give you a warm feeling in your heart. It seems like he is pouring something sweet yet intoxicating into your heart. It's cute, isn't it?

You only need two days to become close to him. To know his red and blue, to learn his cold and warm sides, to touch his divinity and comedy.

Ever since that day when he helped with your project and defended you from Albert, something has blossomed inside your heart. It's a cute feeling—too much warmth—and Alex says it might be love weaving through your heart.

You tried to get closer to him. You did. Like checking his mental health. Always. Reminding him to take his vitamins and driving when he's too tired to walk.

Sometimes you ate lunch with him, chose the same menu as he did. Eating his favorite food. Eating the same candy. Despite how terrible the taste was, you tried to be like him. Everything about him seemed to write endlessly in your mind.

Oh, he's so nice, warm, friendly, brilliant, and young. All of these make you insecure; they make you think that you're not worth it for him. Why is he so nice to you?

Is it necessary to be that nice? To someone like you? What was he thinking about you?

Are you curious about that?

Thinking about that makes you hurt sometimes.

Now you're resting in bed with a fever and an eerie sense in your throat. You feel so useless right now.

This happens after being overworked and forcing yourself to stay with him. Standing behind his back and lending your hand to share your warmth with him, you add another chapter of your love to his heart.

William, on the other hand, hasn't slept in three days. But, strangely, he appears normal and healthy. Meanwhile, your own body is screaming and needs rest; as a result, you have a fever.

You fantasize about him caring for you, coming to your apartment, taking care of you, and supporting you as you supported him.

But when you think about it again, it won't happen so easily. After all, that man was consumed by his science project, and he had no time to cherish his coworker. You.

If only he had thrown his ego away for a day. If only he had noticed your condition right now. If only he had the same feelings as you.

Maybe...

The door buzzer rings, breaking your thoughts back to reality. You turned your head at the door, still feeling dizzy from your fever and lacking the energy to walk and check.

You felt compelled to glance up at the door and yell at the person behind it, or just ignore them and go back to sleep.

But... something was off when a familiar voice yelled at your name and called your name relentlessly.

Could it be?

You walked to the door, hoping it was William and not just a fever-induced illusion.

As the door swings open, there stands William with a huge plastic bag in hand. His body is covered with a lab coat. You assume that he might be sneaking from the lab just to meet you. To see your face.

His blue eyes fixate on you, scanning your face carefully as if he is trying to study you.

A hint of confusion draws across his face as he gazes at your presence, adding unexpected feelings to your heart.

"Hey," he uttered softly, gazing at you softly as he bit his lips. He was trying to find the right words to describe his feelings.

"Albert says you have a fever. He was mad, you know. Why do you keep it secret and only tell Albert about your health?"

"Oh, because I..."

"No, we're partners, aren't we?" He added, locking his blue eyes to yours, though his mind struggled to find the right words. He was trying so hard to understand the situation.

Then he continued. "...and you can't do this to me. I know you are always concerned about me. Why are you not telling me if you need me?"

You held back. That dizziness and heavy feeling in your head hurt you, and William's remarks only made it worse.

Honestly, you thanked Albert because William was led to believe in Albert's cold-hearted nature. However, why is William here? Was he coerced by Albert to meet you?

"Why are you here, William?"

He released a heavy sigh. Frustrating danced in his mind. "Of course, I'll look after you. I'll take care of you till you're well!"

"But, what about your science project?"

"Listen. I can work on another project with my team. I don't care if I lose it because I can make another masterpiece with my team. However, you. All I have is you. I won't be able to have you back if I lose you."

"So please take this medicine in this plastic bag and allow me to be your doctor. Of course, I'll treat you gently."

The reference comes from this song. I've loved this song since I was in high school. 

[proudchildlesscatlady]

Do have any headcannons about William lark tor

William:

1. Was raised by a single parent as his other parent died because of the abatement. **Not sure if Will is the Scion of Gawain through his mother or father **

2. His favorite music genre is jazz, blues, and classical music.

3. He doesn't watch TV and movies as much but would often listen to the radio. He has his own portable radio. If he does watch TV it would be documentaries.

4. His love of tea developed after he was awakened by Gawain but before, he could care less for it. Tea helps Will alleviate the stress and pain of being the healer.

5. He likes to eat scones and cucumber sandwiches with his tea.

6. His family is the "poorest" out of all the Legendborn members. His family still had wealth but not as much as the families of the Legendborn members.

7. One of his parents is a doctor and William would often read his parent's notes, medical books, and listen to them talk about their jobs.

8. Green used to be William's least favorite color. After being awaken, he learn to appreciate it.

Lark:

1. Born and raised in Scotland but him and parents moved to the United States so he can attended the Merlin Academy.

2. He can do a very convincing American accent.

3. His favorite TV shows are The Bing Bang Theory and Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

4. He likes listening to Minnie Riperton and Stevie Wonder. Lark's favorite music genre is soul, blues, and R&B.

5. His favorite desserts are lemon cakes and orange creamsicles. Anything that is citrus 👀😉

6. During his time at the Merlin Academy, his father was very strict towards Lark as he wanted his son to win the Kingsmage title. Lark endure harsh trainings from his father to ensure he beats Sel which did not end up happening.

7. He does not get along with all of his Mageguard coworkers but is cordial with them. He dislikes Zhao and Ramirez the most as those two would often bully Lark.

8. Even though he didn't show it, Lark was hurt (for a bit) that Bree didn't want to him to be her Kingsmage. He was so excited to meet Bree and trained hard to ensure he is the best for her. In the end, he harbors no harsh or ill feelings towards Bree.

Tor 🙄😒🤬

1. She has one younger brother who she does not get along with because the siblings are nothing alike.

2. She once made her dad lose a big business opportunity because she said something bigoted to one of her dad's clients. She was grounded for two months.

3. Despite being a racist, she secretly finds super model Anok Yai attractive.

4. Would use Sar when Tor gets called out for her racist/ biogeted behavior. She would say, "I'm not racist my girlfriend is Mexican" even though Sar is half Venezuelan and not Mexican.

5. She does not have any [real] friends because she is so unlikeable and unbearable. Sar is the only person that actually wants to be around Tor instead of just tolerating her.

6. She is a Trump supporter and has voted for him (should not be a surprise 😑). She thinks Kamala Harris does not deserve to be President. She also thinks Harris is a "DEI hire" or got her position as vice president because of Affirmative Action.

7. She tried to get back together with Selwyn but he said "Fuck off."

Sorry not sorry but I hate Tor and I can't come up with any headcanons that is remotely kind or positive.

[tsunem-dilem]

Tsunemi Hirano

Dazzling sunny idol, illuminating the stage with her color☆

(art above by my v cool friend @crikuu!!! full creds to them thank you shawty <3)

A young woman who wants to spread light and experience everything about ES and idols. She is sociable, friendly, and wants to get along with everyone they meet, but holds a hidden serious side when things need to change or get done. With a bright singing voice, she gives peppy performances guaranteed to bring your mood up.

She is currently a member of ShawtyPOP! under NEW DIMENSION, featuring herself, SSERII (created by @yume-tonin), Camellia Kordula (created by @floriographica), and Kanami Lovette (created by @crikuu), and produced separately by A.D. Vyse (created by @musical-ghostie).

Age: 19

Graduated From: ???

Circles: Niki's Kitchen, Manga Club, Mystery Researchers, ASOBI Club, Ibara Lecture, BIBLION

Height: 160cm (5'3")

Weight:  55kg (121 lbs)

Date of Birth: April 18th (Aries)

Extra

Roommates: SSERII, A.D. Vyse, Kanami Lovette, Camellia Kordula

Handedness: Right-handed

Blood Type: B

Likes: Plushies and other comfy objects, sweet snacks, collecting coins

Dislikes: Oranges, pessimistic outlooks

Favorite Food: Chocolate (and any sweet related)

Family: Parents, older brother (distant)

Hobby: Collecting coins, helping others, drawing

Specialty: Making people smile

Image Color: #FFF189

Relationship Descriptions:

Ibara: Old coworkers (sort of) reconnecting. Ibara is down bad nasty insane about her but is also EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED AS FUCK. Tsunemi tries to help him open up and turn his face toward the sun, the light he abandoned, while he sways between wanting to manipulate and conquer her and falling more into a genuine, softer love. The Toxic Straights of all time. Fated lovers but evil. Yuzuru: Gentle and genuine x completely shy and in love. Watched him perform in a fine live one time and completely fell for him. Wants to close the distance between them but is intimidated by him and his seemingly perfect persona. Cares for her v much and wants to always support her. Prince x commoner (imagined) vibes lowkey. Please serve her you perfect man I love you Yuzuru. Tsumugi: Guardian angel x bringer of smiles. Works under the same agency, and Tsunemi helps out Tsumugi whenever she can since she knows he's busy. He's super shy and wants to confess but doesn't think the feelings are reciprocated (they are) and thinks that Tsunemi will definitely find someone better (she has room for you!) Fated lovers sort of, but sad. Chin up bird boy you've got it!! Chiaki: Helped her come out of her shell in her past, and she's his #1 fan!! They're like. besties in love, almost? They're super close and super friendly and they want to help each other shine and spread hope and justice!! Really wants to repay him for how much bravery and strength he gave her in the darkest time of her life... RYUSEI Red, my hero!! Keito: Fear crush. Fear crush. Has a quest to collaborate with every idol in ES, and is... rightfully terrified of AKATSUKI, more specifically, their leader. With a bit of pushing from Camellia (the AKATSUKI representer) she learns at least to get a bit more comfortable around him! But that fear turns into a weird... longing, as she realizes that huh, maybe he's a little attractive and is maybe my type and thinks a little too hard about it... Does not tell anyone about it ever (but is so obvious about it that practically everyone knows) and buries it as the universe keeps trying to get her to say something to him. Chaos and ridiculous shenanigans ensue. Fated lovers but not evil. But evil for Tsunemi. She's dying. Help her. Hiyori: Started out as rivals at some point (there can only be one sun here!) but slowly evolved into a weird disjointed sort of friendship! They bond and grow, and Hiyori begins to find Tsunemi so cute, like, she's the most adoooorable little thing. Begins to pamper her and take her out more, in hopes of winning her affections and getting closer to her! He has so much love to share, and she's the perfect vessel!! Nagisa: Circle buddies! Autism and ADHD/AuDHD creatures, respectively. Both very curious about everything, and became friends because. well, she's friends w practically everyone in Eden. She finds him really pretty and interesting, and he finds her very... cute, like a cat. They hang out when they can :D Madara: First person she meets in ES! Family trauma (poor relationship w mom) builds into the sweetest little found family duo you've ever seen. Helps her find her strengths as an idol and put her feet on the ground. Souma: Kitchen circle buddies! Friendliest with him out of all of AKATSUKI. Wataru: Just a couple of sillies. Idk I just like the thought of them interacting a lot. Other friends: All of Ryuseitai, Hiiro, Tatsumi, Niki, Tsukasa, Arashi, Nazuna, Mitsuru, Natsume

Psst, hey, do you want to imagine what sort of songs Tsunemi would sing as an idol/want a better read into her joyous energy? *throws this at you!* (and an alt ver with no ES!! music for those who do not want to engage w their content at this time!) Thanks for reading! If you made it down here, you get a high five! 🤚

[ashilrak]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ♥️

I meant to do this the other day, but oop, here goes nothing:

HAUNT ME, THEN— (co-written with @mrthology)

Or, when Apollo cursed Kassandra before the Trojan War, it didn’t go as planned. Now, millennia later, Apollo and Kassandra are still stuck in an endless cycle of death and rebirth. Percy Jackson doesn’t know why people keep calling him Kassandra, or why he’s plagued by memories; all he knows is that he didn’t want to be a demigod.

There are a lot of reasons I have this as a favorite, but the biggest one is that this was a collaboration that has led to some big changes in my life and I couldn't be more grateful for it. It was also one I was just completely obsessed with while writing and took me through the emotional wringer, so bonus points.

The Murder Monologues (co-written with @theinevitablesense)

Stress came in many forms: work, pesky roommates, opinionated best friends, and attractive coworkers. Similarly, stress relief also came in many forms: knitting, music, cooking; Strangling people in their own homes. To each their own.

Bet you didn't think you'd see Hamilton on here lmao This is another collaboration and one that was genuinely so, so, so much fun to write. It is completely unlike anything else I've written, features a ship that doesn't really exist, and is such an off-the-wall AU. Like yes it's a Hamilton fic, but also. We played fast and loose with how criminal investigations work and talked about it like it was a comedy. We had a playlist that slapped featuring Razzle Dazzle from Chicago. If there's any fic of mine that could have its serial numbers filed off it's this one. Genuinely fun as shit and one I think about a lot.

See The Beast You Made Of Me

Percy Jackson thought he was done with prophecies, but the mist acting up means that it’s a revival or death. The Gods are calling for Rome to conquer and they want Percy to lead. Who better to shape their new Emperor than Apollo, already enlisted into Percy’s service for punishment? — Apollo grins down and leans in close enough that Percy can taste him. “I will make you greater than Augustus, more majestic than Hadrian, as clever as Marcus Aurelius," he says. Then with a flash of teeth, Apollo adds, "and as merciless as me.”

There are a lot of things with this fic I think I'd do differently now, and had I been the type to write in full and edit before posting I'm sure it'd look very different. But, I'm proud of this fic in the sense that it shows a lot of growth for me as a writer at this point. Obviously, I still have a lot of room to improve (and like to think I have since writing it), but it was a bit out of my comfort zone and I had a lot of fun pushing myself with it. Another one that's a bit off the wall, but sometimes that's the vibe.

Too Much To See Waiting In Front Of Me

Or: Paul takes Sally, Estelle, Percy, and Annabeth along on his family’s annual beach vacation

This is a simple one-shot, but it's one I love. I don't normally re-read my own writing, but this one I have. I don't know, it's cute and sweet and domestic and I like it.

Go On Shore (And It's Time For Us To Leave Her)

Or: Poseidon ventures west to see what's kept Ares so busy and finds a woman he can't get out of his head. Luckily for him, her time is for sale. Unluckily, Zeus is wary of any potential offspring and is sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. Sally and Poseidon both know how this ends; they can't help but fall anyway.

This might be another surprising one but, this is one of those ideas I just got really into. It's a historical Posally AU. I don't do much with Posally but boy is it something I love and have thoughts and feelings about. One of my majors in undergrad was history and I wrote a thesis on the economic and social pressures of prostitution in the Early American Republic which is where this idea came from. It was fun to jump back into that and bring in little tidbits while also playing with the idea of the Gods sticking their noses into the revolution and following years.

I've only included summaries to give a better impression of tone/vibes. If any catch your interest, please please please read ships, rating, tags, and warnings closely 🩷

[carsh0w-cutie]

*pulls out chair and sits down*

I know absolutely nothing about the source material, but tell me everything about your f/o and any lore you want to share (if you have any) :3 /nf

SHAPESHIFTER YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU JUST UNLEASHED. IT'S GONNA GET LONG AND CONFUSING. UNDER THE CUT IS THE  D R I V E R   E S S A Y

content warnings: mentions and avoidable clips of violence, threats, and blood/gore. And background nudity with a scene in a strip club but it's not focused on that it's a background thing

Drive is a Rated R film. There's also mildly suggestive things about me being Into It but nothing super explicit 

"You know the story about the scorpion and the frog?" - Who is Driver, and Why Do I Love Him, and WHAT'S THE LORE OF MY S/I???

a "essay" by Archie "carsh0wcutie" Valentine

Table of Contents

Section One: The Plot Of Drive

Section Two: Why Driver?

Section Three: Palm Trees Out The Rearview

-----

Section One: The Plot Of Drive

"Driver is a mechanic and part time stunt driver in Los Angeles who moonlights as a getaway driver for robberies. Driver has a isolated and detached personality. he doesn't seem to care much else in the world except his boss Shannon and his neighbor Irene, whom he becomes emotionally attached to."

(yeah he has a canon love interest but they don't even GET TOGETHER IN THE END. HERE'S HOW ARCHIE CAN STILL WIN!)

"After Driver becomes entangled in a botched heist involving money stolen from the Mafia, he finds his life coming apart and must fight to stay alive and protect the people he's come to care for."

Section Two: But Why Driver?

I'm about to get very incoherent. Forgive me.

Reason 1: He's very very Pretty in the Face. I mean. He's attractive. He's played by Ryan Gosling and I like hot weird blondes.

like woah.

Reason 2: Personality!

He's a very calm, cool and collected guy. He has a very soft, monotone voice. I like how...I dunno. Soft it is? I'm not good with words on this one. So uh....listen to him talk in this one

He's a quiet guy, but not like, unfriendly. He's helpful in the film when Irene's car breaks down at the grocery store. He's just a autistic introvert who doesn't do much talk, just action. He's quiet, loyal, talented. 

Fuck, there's a popular "Stalker Driver" headcanon among the Driver Lovers. I somewhat subscribe to this headcanon but in the "Soft Stalker" variety.

For my self insert (Archie from here on!) at least. Driver isn't the "breaks into your apartment to stare like 👁👁" type. He's more of the "I'll keep my eye on you and I'll give anyone who upsets you a hard time, but like...from a distance. I'm not gonna be weird about it" < AT LEAST NOT AS WEIRD AS HE ALREADY IS? There's no Archie Shrine here. More like he knows their routes and knows who they know. They're coworkers anyway. It's pretty easy for him (elaborated on later)

He isn't just a quiet, odd guy though. He's got some rage in him. When you piss him off, he will find a way to SMASH YOUR FACE IN. And I'm...into that. I like my bodyguard mechanic boyfriend okay? But he's so...chill when he does it most scenes. Besides like, one scene, he never raises his voice. But his body language changes. You can notice this in the Hammer Scene. His hands shake and his jaw clenches. But his voice is soft and cold.

I'm gonna link to Clips Of Violence if you need them to see the theme!

(tw for threats and injuries and there's also boobs in one (strippers in the bg) You don't need these to understand what I'm getting at I hope...)

(HAMMER SCENE IN THE STRIP CLUB. ONE OF MY FAVES and probably the most famous scene. No blood but a man's hand gets busted and is made to swallow a bullet. GET HIM HONEY!!! it's age restricted...but it's there)

(Diner / Shut Your Mouth. Threats of violence but no violence shown)

But he isn't EVIL per say (I mean, I support Evil F/O Nation, but Driver Isn't That methinks)

The only reason he gets so Deep Into The Violence and Rage is because he wants to help Irene's Husband pay off a prison debt so nobody Hurts Them Anymore, which goes wrong. But even after that, he STILL WANTS to Protect Irene, and her son in the film. HE'S JUST GOT ANGER ISSUES AND LOW EMPATHY. HE'S MOTIVATED BY GOOD WILL. HE DOESN'T EVEN KEEP THE MONEY FROM THE HEIST??

He's also...a really talented guy, with cars (THIS BECOMES SUPER RELEVANT LATER. NOT JUST IN THE FILM BUT FOR SELFSHIP LORE). He's a Mechanic at a garage. And he's good at his job, wriggling around these classic cars and knowing how to get in em, fix em, get out of them. 

I mean, it's heavily implied (to me) that he restored the car he drives (a 1973 Chevrolet Chevelle Malibu with a 454 engine), himself. (The actor that plays him actually fixed the car himself from a junkyard. Ryan Gosling got way method. I've accepted that in canon)

He's a car guy! He's a Chevrolet Guy!

Overall, he's a quiet car guy who Will Fuck You Up.

At the end of the film, after successfully ridding the world of everyone who wanted to hurt him, Irene, and her son, he gets stabbed, but lives, and decides to leave into the sunset, choosing to be selfless and leave Irene to not cause any more residual harm, and presumably, the city of Los Angeles as well.

But where does Driver go? Well...I'm a selfshipper...and I like to make Universes for my guys...

Section Three: "Palm Trees Out The Rearview"

Let me type this au's premise like it's a plot to a sequel

"A year Post-Drive, Driver, after fleeing Los Angles and leaving the state, decides to settle down in a small town somewhere along the Kentucky border, where he begins working at a small local garage, where he meets the bubbly, kind, and sweet receptionist named Archie, who he begins to form a relationship with, both in and out of work"

But of course, what would Driver be without a little bit of violence?

"But once Archie reveals how there's a member of their family who's gotten out of prison, and is trying to get money from their father, Driver decides that he must work to keep the people he's become attached to safe once more. But this time, he succeeds and is able to stay with Archie and redeem himself, at least in their eyes"

Aka: Archie is a Certified Freak and kinda gets into it when their boyfriend gets mean and violent.

But why is PTOTRW so important to me?

Because...

Archie Valentine is LITERALLY ME?!

I'm actually a receptionist in a local garage somewhere in the Midwest! I found Driver's character after I had been working there and it just clicked! Literally Mechanic Boyfriend! I work with him IRL!!!

All I need is the hair clips and nail polish and I'm Literally Archie. Isekai'd him into MY existence!

Anything that happens at my work he's just standing over my arm like "?"

Archie and Driver have a very "Grumpy and Sunshine" dynamic, but I do kinda flip this with Archie having a bit of "I actually kinda hate most of you sometimes" in them. They work in CUSTOMER SERVICE they have a BIT of hate in their heart. And they get into it when Driver defends them from things and threatens to smack your face into the counter if you so much as make a wrong look at his favorite little sweetheart. They get into it.

Also known as "You see him, Driver? I don't want to anymore. Fetch."

He likes to follow them around at work, waiting for them to need a bit of help or if a car needs pulled in he'll GET ON IT! He wants to hear them talk to him or giggle at something he does. It kinda makes his day if they look his way. Like, this is a common occurrence.

Archie: "I can't reach this shelf of WD-40...I'll go get a stool or..."

They turn around to find Driver standing in the room's doorway like "do you need help?" And looking at them like 👁👁❤️

Archie has him WHIPPED and they don't even know the half of it.

Archie isn't even super pretty or popular. Driver found this cheery receptionist who ALSO likes muscle cars and DOESN'T turn away in fear??? He's SOLD. he's not just a boyfriend but also a lapdog.

But when Driver gets his pissed off moment Archie's watching like 👁👁💕 "oh boy I want that!!! c'mere lemme kiss"

But he'd NEVER as much as mess up a hair on Archie's head. The idea of hurting them makes him wanna puke if he thinks about it too hard. Archie wants him to menace them with a hammer once or twice because WOOHOO.

Phew...that's all I can muster to type right now! If you need elaborations...feel free to give me a ring 📞📞

Receptionist OUT!