#my brains so chaotic the spiral would love it

[faithshouseofchaos]

I would like to see a part 2 to this

https://www.tumblr.com/faithshouseofchaos/762652024189976576/the-young-lewis-and-young-nico-being-told-off-by?source=share

Where it shows them now were their having trouble hiding from media because aparently no one would have guessed that brocedes were getting back in touch and this would be a headline if they can get info, and the other drivers surprise and confusion to this info is immense because they also thought that lewis and nico R hated each other in an extremely passive-aggressive way.

—🍑

A/n — @crispysoup318 I just combined the two idea as best as i cloud

I thought it was a joke — Lewis Hamilton x Male!Reader x Nico Rosebrg

Word count—776

Fluff Crack fic

The Monaco Grand Prix weekend had always been chaotic, but this year, it felt different. It wasn’t just the press swarming the paddock or the luxurious yachts packed along the harbor—it was the rumor mill spinning out of control.

It all started with a photo.

A single, grainy shot taken at a quiet café in Monte Carlo late last night. Nico Rosberg, sitting opposite Lewis Hamilton, both laughing over what looked like dessert. At first glance, it seemed like an amicable catch-up, shocking enough considering their years of tension. But the moment that sent the F1 world spiraling was the kiss—Lewis leaning over the small table, Nico tilting his head up, their lips meeting in a way that couldn’t be mistaken for anything other than romantic.

The first wave of shock hadn’t even settled when another photo hit social media. Nico’s so-called husband—you—appeared at the same café shortly afterward, leaning casually against Nico’s chair with a drink in hand. If that wasn’t enough to break the internet, the third shot did: you, Nico, and Lewis walking out together, Lewis’s hand resting lightly on your back while Nico smirked, his fingers brushing against yours.

Twitter descended into chaos.

“BROCEDES WAS A JOKE?!?!?”

“Nico has a HUSBAND?? And LEWIS IS PART OF THIS???”

“I need a second to breathe, but also I don’t think I can breathe.”

“So Nico hated Lewis… but also secretly loved him… while being married to this third guy… but then all three of them are a thing? Is this fanfiction?”

“Wait, wasn’t he just Nico’s husband?” someone muttered. “Like, how is Lewis involved in this?”

“And Nico and Lewis hated each other,” another replied. “This doesn’t make sense!”

In the corner, Charles Leclerc looked genuinely distressed, his breakfast untouched as he muttered to Pierre Gasly. “I don’t understand. They were always fighting, weren’t they? Like… properly angry. This has to be fake.”

Pierre, wide-eyed, shook his head. “Brocedes was a meme! A meme, Charles! How—” He gestured helplessly. “What are we supposed to do with this?”

Nearby, George Russell frowned, clearly overthinking the situation. “But if this is true, that means they’ve been hiding it for years. Years!”

Carlos Sainz, standing beside him, choked on his coffee. “So Nico didn’t just retire to get away from Lewis?”

“Apparently not,” George deadpanned.

“They won’t need to. Look at Lewis.”

Sure enough, Lewis Hamilton, arriving just minutes after you, was doing absolutely nothing to help the situation. He strode into Mercedes hospitality with all the confidence in the world, flashing his trademark smile. Instead of slipping quietly into the back like he should have, he went straight to Nico, threw an arm around his shoulders, and pressed a quick kiss to his temple—in full view of half the paddock.

Carlos, who had just recovered from his earlier choking incident, muttered, “Wait, wait, what?!”

George’s jaw dropped. “I… I don’t think my brain can process this right now.”

It didn’t take long for the drivers to start gathering in small, confused groups, some pulling out their phones for updates. Lando Norris, scrolling Twitter furiously, let out a stunned laugh. “Guys, the memes are already insane. Look at this!”

He shoved his phone toward Oscar Piastri, who squinted at the screen. “They Photoshopped Nico holding a ‘Brocedes Forever’ sign,” Oscar said, trying not to laugh.

“This is a PR nightmare,” Toto Wolff said somewhere in the background, his voice carrying over the general noise.

For you, Nico, and Lewis, it was just another challenge in a relationship that had defied expectations from the very beginning. The trio had spent years carefully hiding it, crafting a delicate balance to keep the media—and nosy drivers—off their trail. Nico was known for his perfectionism, Lewis for his showmanship, and you for being the quiet, grounding presence who had seamlessly blended into Nico’s post-retirement life. No one had suspected that your relationship extended beyond friendship—or that it included Lewis.

“Let’s make one thing clear,” you muttered to Nico as he grinned at Lewis’s display of affection. “This is your fault.”

“My fault?” Nico arched an eyebrow, pretending to be affronted.

“Yes,” you said, ignoring the curious stares aimed in your direction. “You’re the one who said, ‘It’s fine. Monaco is basically our backyard. Nobody will notice.’”

“To be fair,” Lewis interjected smoothly as he slid into the seat beside you, his hand casually brushing your knee, “he’s not entirely wrong. Usually no one notices.”

“Except when you kiss him in public,” you said dryly.

Lewis grinned, leaning back in his chair. “What can I say? I got caught up in the moment.”

[vastpotato]

I really just wanna see a yellow door that shouldn’t be there and walk through.

You think that if I was trapped walking through hallways that don’t make sense with mirrors and pictures a creepy long sharp thing, I don’t have to complete my senior art show?

[thelesbianluthor]

Kristen Applebees is a mess of a character in the most realistic way.

The thing is that I understand why people got to a point where they got tired of her chaotic and careless behaviour but that's the point isn't it?

I laughed at the bits and chaos of JY so much but I understand that things can be nuanced. I can laugh at the bits while also thinking about the implications of her actions in the story.

Kristen is a mess, she is spiralling, because she is a teenager who was faced with either choosing herself and being kicked out by her family and community or forever living a comfortable lie that would have inevitably made her lose herself.

She brought back a Goddess and she found her truth in Cassandra's domain, but she is also a teenager who just went through her first breakup with the first girl she ever loved and whom she experienced the highest of high and the lowest of lows. She has a right to mess up and fail and hit dead ends. Yeah Cassandra depends on her and Kristen needs to step up and take her role seriously but at the same time, it's so fucking unfair that the weight of a divine being's entire existence falls on the shoulders of a teen girl still in high school who is trying to find herself and learning how to handle life while also still recovering from a lifetime of trauma.

Whenever I think about that scene where Kristen says that her brain feels kind of liquid and she keeps failing to hold on to stuff I feel so incredibly connected to that feeling. I struggle so much with doing things that require a prolonged effort for a long term goal. My brain fails to hold onto stuff so I genuinely don't perceive how much time has passed, time feels so blurry and I inevitably end up failing at things I should be focusing on because my mind latches onto other things.

I relate a lot to Kristen on her struggles with commitment when it comes to important things and her latching onto fun and excitement that inevitably causes her to lose track of what matters.

The thing is that Kristen relied a lot on Tracker and how stable her presence was in her life. Tracker kept her anchored while also giving her a way to channel her energy and attention so I am not surprised that when they broke up Kristen lost most of her drive towards establishing her religion. It's not Tracker's fault of course and it is something that Kristen had to learn so JY Kristen was an inevitability

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Hihi slug, I love your work, and thanks for everything!! Since Matenro season is nearly upon us, I was wondering if we could get your opinion on the solo snippets🤞🤞

Matenro's new solo previews are SO GOOD, what do you think of them?

Thank you both for notifying me about them! Taking a look now...

(The album is probably already out now, but... better late than never...)

Jakurai's A Majestic Figure

Title note: 4-kanji compounds are like the SAT vocab words of Japanese; they're not super common in everyday speech and can evoke a literary or sophisticated feeling. This one is...interesting. To the best of my knowledge, it isn't a standard compound (I'm also not getting any hits when I Google it) and I wonder if that's significant. It's just two words strung together to make the appearance of fanciness, perhaps. I couldn't say for certain. At any rate, both 威風 and (especially) 颯爽 describe a majestic, often captivating appearance. This isn't to say that such qualities of dignity or majesty aren't real, but I definitely feel like both terms are defining a subject from an outside perspective. These aren't terms I would ever expect someone to describe themselves with, which makes the song title sound like it's an outside observer commenting on Jakurai instead of Jakurai talking about himself. We see this happen a lot in Hypmic, with people putting Jakurai on pedestals or Jakurai struggling to see himself as the same grand figure others perceive him as. As a result, I wrote the song title as "A Majestic Figure" to emphasize the appearance of majesty, whereas the character of the figure is unknown. Anyway, let's dive in and see what this is all about.

(10 seconds in) Vibing with these instrumentals

(19 seconds in) Not vibing with these "ah"s... but we can't have everything in life

(43 seconds in) I'm a little too tired to fully keep up (I'll look up the lyrics when I'm done) but I REALLY like the urgency in the delivery, which is so at odds with the flowing, dignified background music. In JPN fiction as a whole, flusteredness/desperation is contrasted with calmness as a synonym for imperfection and perfection. Jakurai is, honestly, really kind of a desperate character...yet one that appears outwardly calm/perfect to most of the rest of the cast, so it's interesting that we get to see his desperate nature on full display right at the start of the song.

(1:26 in) Hand motif mentioned *Cinemasins ding* (of

(End) Thank you uta-net for having the lyrics up already; ily. Let's see now... Interesting. I'll have to read them again in more depth later, but it looks like a call to forgive past wounds and seek out a better, less painful way of existence--in a societal sense, a religious (as in like, ascending or becoming enlightened) sense, and a personal sense. All great things to see Jakurai expressing. Again, it's interesting to see Jakurai expressing this with such urgency, even if these are things we know he really, really cares about. That coupled with the background music seems to match a bit in the lyrics that says "And [to end war within society, paraphrased] I take grand, dignified action mixed with the discord and noise of Shinjuku, a samsara spiral of cacophonous echoes." Mixing the stately and the chaotic, the "imperfect" and the "perfect." Really interesting stuff!

Hifumi's The Beginning of the Last Song

Title note: "Last Song" is English and written in katakana, which is a sharp contrast to the style of Jakurai's title. Creates a much younger and casual feel appropriate for Hifumi. Not much else to say here, so let's jump in.

(10 seconds in) Modern indie pop song on the radio feel. I'm not a fan of autotune in general so I'm not in love with this, but I'm hopeful it'll pick up soon.

(22 seconds in) I listen to so much "soft hiphop" (for lack of a better term) during work that my brain instantly catapulted itself into work mode and stopped paying any attention to the words. Coffee mug? Check. Emails? Check. Anxiety? Check. Let me rewind and listen to this properly.

(32 seconds in but for real this time) So far, very Hifumi. Opening verse has some fun figurative language but essentially says Hifumi's suit is pure courage he dons like a suit of armor. In doing so, it masks him and makes him become like a whole other person. From there, he switches to addressing a listener: "I want to soothe your mental wounds. I want to change your frown into a smile. I won't let go of your hands, and no, I'm not doing this for a reward." It's something that Hifumi should be saying to himself (something Hifumi wants to hear, maybe?) and yet he says "To [Host!]me, this is happiness."

(59 seconds in) Hmm... I was going to say this song feels sad to me, because all these positive messages of "Keep going! You're safe now!" are framed as being directed at other people, and I was like..."Hifumi, who's going to say that to you? Who's going to help you feel that way?" but then the line "You made me realize I'm not alone" radically flips the framing so that it DOES become things Hifumi is saying to himself, too. How nice. :) I would not want to translate this, personally... Haha it's using the vagueness of Japanese grammar and lyrical conventions to great effect, but I don't feel comfortable touching that personally.

(1:02) Hell yeah, belt that shit, homie

(1:32) So it's a last song in the sense that it's a farewell or the final song of his old self. Now he's the new, healing Hifumi. We love to see it 10/10 bravo. The song is also a happy, heartfelt thank you to the unspoken listeners (presumably Matenrou) who helped him feel less alone. That's cute! I like it. I probably shouldn't go here, but I find it intriguing how the vagueness of listeners is utilized. The first time the listeners are addressed, the language is...if not borderline romantic, pathos-filled to the point where it's definitely evocative of his host job (hence why he's not seeking compensation for handholding, an often romantic gesture). Yet it's borderline enough that it wouldn't be inappropriate to imagine it being addressed to Matenrou instead of his patrons. Hahaha. Again, another reason I don't want to go near this one.

(Overall) I like it! A nice ballad for Hifumi.

Doppo's Andante

(5 seconds in) For a song called Andante, this has a faster tempo than at least one other song on this album lol. But it's much less frenetic than Doppo's other solos, so there's that, I guess.

(7 seconds in) This delivery is giving me anime ending made by a 2010s rock band vibes lol.

(14 seconds in) Damn there's a baller line here that I'm stumped on how to convey in Eng in a way that's both baller and sensical. Meaning wise, it's like "I want to take back the things I shouldn't have said and give them as a present to you" and in figurative language it's like "Once, I used to fire words into the air [speak things in anger or carelessly]. Now, I want to gather them up [esp. like a bouquet of flowers] after their flight and use them to decorate you [again, like flowers or like a piece of jewelry--it's a positive connotation]" Pop off, Doppo

(40 seconds in) Oh this is killer and also going to need some major explaining. Doppo's name is literally "he who walks alone" which is usually considered a positive thing--someone who "walks the path of life" alone would have gotten there by outstripping the rest of the pack. In Doppo's case, though, this is a negative thing. I think it's not as obvious to Eng-only fans, and I know I didn't really think about it for a long time myself, but Doppo considers himself a "loser" bc he didn't follow a conventional life path. It's considered atypical to switch employers, especially very early on in one's career, as he did when he stood up for Hifumi and got himself fired at his first job. Part of why he puts up with shitty treatment at EL Medical is because it's one of the few places that would hire someone who switched employers at such a young age. (Sidebar: My (probably flawed, as I don't live in Japan) impression is that this is becoming less and less of a thing as time goes on and the economy goes to shit, but I think it's the self-stigma more than anything else that's affecting Doppo. To me, it feel similar to the societal pressures in the US to attend and graduate from a four-year college. Plenty of people don't for all sorts of reasons, but because that's so ingrained as the default life story for Americans in a lot of communities, Doppo's dealing with the kind of disappointment and self-hatred someone who dropped out before getting a four year degree might feel.) Doppo beats himself up about that a lot, but here we get that lovely line of "In the waves of people (hitonami) passing all around me, I no longer see anyone who looks like me. It's a shame, because I always wanted to be just like everyone else (hitonami)." Outside of that beautiful wordplay on hitonami, we're also treated to the figurative language of hitonami being literally "in line with others." Doppo, a character who walks through life alone, wanted to walk through life at the same pace/reaching the same milestones at the same time as everyone else.

(1:04 in) "Life is a tightrope act; it's like walking a balance beam [lit. "average beam" aka a beam where everything is averaged/balanced]. In a country where not everything can be average (narasarenai) and where even if the things that [I] can accomplish (narasareru) don't matter [in the eyes of society], sometimes the sounds I want to make don't come out right (narasarenai). When that happens, I can call myself pitiful--or I can feel the breathing of the beautiful flowerbed that is this city, and when someone's humming under their breath disturbs that short break [lit. breath], I ask them 'So, what is this happiness thing anyway?'" I would rather die than TL this song but I'm LOVING the creativity and depth of the lyrics.

(1:27) WILD! FUCKING! CHEERING!!! "You fake smiles in a mirror to make other people happy and call it love. It's a form of hypnosis, and I've made a go of falling under its spell because I just want to be equals [on par with, balanced], and so if you and I can walk these crowded streets together, then I think I don't mind as much that I'm always walking alone." THE GROWTH! THE GROWTH!!!!

Damn, this album's lyrics go hard. What a feast.

[crescentrivers]

LONG POST TIME!!! Expanding on the swap au mentioned in this post cause a few people seemed interested and also I just wanted to.

Edit: this post is kind of outdated for the au and its cringe so ignore it, more roleswap stuff coming eventually maybe

The idea was originally just a joke like “what if Pokey and Paul were role swapped lol that would be fun to draw sometime for like a shitpost or for like next April fools” but it spiraled because like the original post mentioned my brain cannot leave things alone

So the lords in black + Webby are humans and some characters that were originally human take their place, I know that’s been done before but who becomes gods is different I think. I haven’t really decided who’s swapped with who, (other than Pokey and Paul are swapped and Webby and Hannah are swapped) but it’ll probably ended up being the LIB swap with their blorbos. The only thing is it’s kind of hard to picture some of these characters as that kind of evil, so I wouldn’t say they’re all chaotic evil now but they’re absolutely some kind of evil.

(It’s not like a super direct roleswap all the time but the main idea is the og gods are humans and some humans are the gods now.)

I don’t have much decided with this au yet (if you have ideas I’d love to heard them) but what I do have down I’ll put under the cut:

So human names

Pokey - Porter

Blinky - Bentley

Tinky - Terrance

Nibbly - Nathan

Wiggly - William

Webby - Willow

All of them are half siblings (except Wiggly and Webby might be twins my age headcanons keep changing) who have the same mom. They had a rough childhood and their family is very dysfunctional, they’re able to reconnect in most timelines but the stories usually start with their relationship being strained in some way.

Hannah is the youngest of the gods, Webby/Willow met her when she was a kid. At the time they acted around the same age but Willow being a human aged faster (Hannah’s actually like a few hundred years older than Willow at the least) so Hannah’s still a kid/teen. She has matured some since then though so she doesn’t act the exact same as when they met. I think that when they met Hannah would’ve been more chaotic neutral, not really understanding right and wrong and just wanting to have fun (kind of like the Collector from TOH) but thanks to her friendship with Willow she started to understand the value of life on Earth and that the adult gods are kind of awful people, so now she tries to protect humanity.

Another thing I can talk more about is what the roleswapped TGWDLM would be about since that’s where this au idea first started, still not like fully decided but there is some interesting stuff involving it.

Unlike TGWDLM where the story is sort of from the hives POV and the hive/Pokey makes choices that would point to them seeing Paul as the musical’s main character, Paul doesn’t really care about Porter, only putting special focus on him when he gets in his way. The story is more just from Porter’s POV.

It starts with Porter returning to his hometown of Hatchetfield because a musical he’s acting in is on tour there (the musical is either Mamma Mia like in TGWDLM or Santa Claus is Going to Highschool I haven’t decided which) so he reunites with his half siblings. But nothing good ever happens in Hatchetfield so a meteor crashes into the theater. Then the mayor (whoever that is in this au) just bans musicals. Note the anti musical thing isn’t a big part of Paul’s motivations in this au, it’s just kind of a thing that’s happening. If you’re going to take over the world with a hivemind you might as well ban the thing you don’t like, right? The only reason the story focuses on it at all is that this is from Porter’s POV and he’s a massive theatre kid.

Im not sure what Paul’s exact motivations are in this au, probably power/just wanting control or him trying to bring some fucked up kind of order/peace through mind control. Probably a mix of both idk. Also I don’t know what their real names are in this au but they aren’t Paul and Hannah, combing up with fancy eldritch names is hard.

In an alternate timeline where this is the musical we got instead of TGWDLM the gimic would obviously be different since the hivemind is no longer musical. Basically I picture that it would start with big grand ensemble numbers with even the solos or smaller group songs having back up singers, but overtime as more people succumb to the hive the numbers gets smaller and smaller as less people are left to participate. I’m not sure if that means the songs are diegetic and the musical-ness is actually being sucked out of the world or if it’s just a metaphorical thing to show how people keep getting infected.

Porter is upset but his siblings don’t really take things seriously until like murder starts happening and it becomes clear more is going on under the surface. So it becomes the family’s goal to survive and that goes about as well as it did for the gang in canon TGWDLM. Eventually this leads to Porter trying to destroy the hive by blowing up the meteor which also goes about as well as it did for Paul in canon TGWDLM.

Also through all this BS Porter has some kind of character arc. He probably starts of kind of egotistical and self centered, he’s not nearly as evil as canon Pokey but he’s kind of selfish and generally a jerk to those around him, mans probably has some kind of main character complex. But through all the horrors he probably starts to open up and be nicer to those around him, he still has a lot of an ego but he’s an actually nice guy who cares about his family and just wants to stop the force that’s hurting them.

If anyone actually read all of this I love you

[play-rough]

No but anon is onto something there. It'd be funny (not the word I wanna use but I couldn't think of a better one) if Dazai thought Chuuya was gonna hurt him or something and almost started crying. But after Chuuya starts tickling him those sad tears that started turned into happy tears.

(I know I said I hate to make the baby upset but I am a liar and a lover of angst 😔)

Also I'm in the middle of baking a cake and I thought of Chuuya making a sweet treat for Dazai to save for later for when he's little or even them frosting and decorating cupcakes together and that just sounds so cute. Dazai with his clumsy hands trying to put sprinkles or frosting on and getting all grumpy because it isn't going where he wants it to and Chuuya silently chuckling right beside him. (He tried to help but Dazai wouldn't let him.)

And when they're finally done (Dazai gave up out of frustration.) Chuuya tells Dazai he made the cupcakes look beautiful and they both eat them together while watching a movie together

(This made me think of Chuuya getting them matching aprons or something with sea animals on them to avoid a big mess. I need you to know you've ruined my life because I can't get them out of my head 😭)

PLEASE i love dazai getting grumpy or frustrated when he cant do something bc he’s too little he’s so precious when he’s fussy.

Ive been wanting to do some kind of skk baking thing for a while, ive been rolling it around in ye ole brain, i had a lot of fun decorating cookies growing up and i think chuuya could honestly pitch the idea to big dazai (I feel like he would enjoy silly meticulous tasks like lining up sprinkles side by side on cookies, something repetitive to get lost in) and then he regresses as he’s decorating, just relaxing and enjoying the nice cookie smells. Chuuya does little things like rolls up Dazai’s sleeves for him and all of the sudden BOOM he’s tiny and the decorating gets clumsier and more chaotic and you can almost S E E him spiral down into headspace as he plays with the sprinkles and chuuya wants to take pictures but he’s gotta be sneaky with it bc he’s worried if he draws attention to Dazai’s slow ease into headspace he’ll feel insecure and snap out of it

This goes on until Dazai’s gotten small enough to just mostly be making a mess and he’s getting fussy and overtired, the baby doesnt want to do anything except be held. So Chuuya knows it’s nap time, and Dazai is all sticky, so they take a bubble bath first and then chuuya zips dazai up into kitty pajamas and puts him down for a nap in the living room while chuuya cleans up in the kitchen, and when Dazai wakes up they can eat the cookies as a snack and have hot cocoa and watch a movie or something

they’ve ruined my life too don’t worry 🥹

[somerandomcryptid]

ah no no sorry i confused the words bc i was asking of You wanted to talk more about the cpunz and cquackity and c!cryptid stuff related to your recent art post but i got confused if it was part of You previous au or a new one and got confused, sorry 😓

-cleo

Ah yeah that makes more sense. No problem! actually kinda good you got confused cause I think I may have cooked something kinda fire so before I absolutely lore dump on you have some sketches of an au where Punz is a big doggo I just did

Man’s best friend :)

Anyway onto such less wholsome stuff because yeah those sketches were for Dreaming of death

also tw for implied child abuse and one mention of a child being hit (not contiunasly just twice with different people behind it each time), and one other mention of a child being harmed in a relatively minor way

I really should have clarified this is almost directly after the other Cryptid and Quackity in formal wear arts I’ve done. which I don’t think I’ve ever really explained? because honest i haven’t decided all the details. i just know that a fancy event is held at las nevadas and afterwards the las nevadas crew kinda like, goes around the server? like bar hopping but without the bars? they’re still all deunk though. it’s very chaotic.

They just so happen to run into staged duo (not directly but staged duo can see them, if they actually had awareness they’d probably be able to see them too)

and uhhhhhhh welll Cryptid and Q aren’t exactly.. obeying quaritoine rules?/platonic this pisses both Dream and Punz off. amd wellll Punz is kinda the more confrotational of the two?(he feels like he should fight dream’s battles because he wasn’t there for him in prison)

so he uhhh yoinks his child cryptid. They do not appreiate this. Q also, does not appreiate this. but Punz kept Quackity in his basement for 2 weeks and experiemented on him, safe to say he has the intimadation points. and the height advantage.

Anyway yeah that’s all the context I SHOULD have given. But brain was wprking a mile a minute because dod!Punz is walking contrictions if they were good at pvp. and I love him for it.

to elaborate on that. the guy is one, trying to gaslight himself imto thinking he doesnt want to make out with Dream, two trying to gaslight himself into think he doesn’t care about Cryptid.

which like…. wrong but also he does truly hate Cryptid a bit and is hella jealous of them. He also has tucked them into bed and condsidered for a brief second staying with them when they request him to.

And that’s not even touching how Cryptid feels about him. because he is the reason for aproximately a 4th of their issues. and also their idol a bit.

and they just hate each other but also care about each other in such an interesting mix.

Punz genuinely thinks they are a brat and that they are incredibly dramatic about how bad their lofe is because they have it ”good” in his eyes. but he also genuinely would never want to see them hurt and seeing them with Quackity makes him seeth because their risking their safety and also that their wasting their potential which he begrudgingly admits they have.

But also. he is the only person on the server to have scarred Cryptid(physically I mean), when they first met properly he held a dagger to their throat. they were fine, it’s just a little scar but it was still signifagant. He is also one of the only people to have hit them, the only other person being Quackity, was only once. still happened though.

Sorry this kinda just spiralled to me rambling about dod!punz with no real end point but he’s one of my favorites for just how convoluted he is. i would ramble more. but also it’s 6:30 am and I should go to bed lol.

(Since I’m main tagging I’m going to put the big ol’ Dreaming of death is an au of the fic penpal by @calamari-minecraft-corner :3)

[tieronecrush]

HELLO CONGRATS ON YOUR MILESTONE ILY <3

obviously I am sending you a smut prompt 🛍️ this one makes my brain go fuzzy

“can you look at me? please?”

and I would love that with literally any Pedro boy you like but I'm feeling either Dieter (bc this man is observed constantly but rarely ever seen I think) or Frankie (bc he do be beggin)

TYSM HANNY BANANNY ILY TOO BESTIE

the idea of dieter asking to be seen just overcame me when i sat down to write this so it is him <3

dieter bravo x f!reader

18+ ONLY, MDNI - no other warnings on my drabbles

After midnight on this random Saturday night, or technically Sunday morning, you find yourself in the bed of your latest match off of your new dating app — Dieter.

Academy Award-Winning actor Dieter fucking Bravo.

To be fair, you hadn’t seen the film he won for, Hunger Strike, and only saw stuff about his featured role in Cliff Beasts 6 and the documentary that was made out of the behind-the-scenes shitshow that was creating that movie.

To you, it had been a fluke that you’d been accepted onto Raya, the app you’d matched with him through. You garnered a generous amount of Instagram followers for posting your art, and have ended up having an extremely successful career selling your originals and prints. During a wine night with your friends, you’d been drunkenly convinced to apply for an invitation onto the app — one of your friends had been accepted a few months before and had been basically a reference for you. It was all very official, and it had gotten you some pretty good matches: actors, YouTubers, photographers, agents, and more.

This was new for you though — it was normally one dinner or drinks, or heading straight to the hookup. You’d done minimal chatting before all of these meetups, but things were different with Dieter. He’d messaged you first, and you’ve been talking for at least two weeks and FaceTiming while he’s been finishing up filming in Canada.

He was actually kind of…sweet.

There was no pressure in your conversations, and no awkward silences when you FaceTimed. His messages made you laugh, made you smile, even gave you butterflies when he complimented your work or called you “a spectacularly arresting genius.”

And after all of those days and nights spent getting to know each other and exchanging spiraling ideas from your chaotic minds, you have ended up here in his California king with the softest linen sheets you’ve ever felt — currently straddling him after he made you come with his fingers and his mouth.

He fills you up completely when you’re fully seated on his hips, soft whimpers echoing through his massive primary bedroom. His fingertips are gripping tight to your hips, surely leaving bruises under their wake when he moves them to your thighs to give you full mobility of your hips.

“Fuck, babygirl, you’re a fucking vision over me right now.”

He sits up, one arm wrapping around your back as a moan of your name leaves his lips at the feeling of you finally starting to ride him, lifting and grinding your hips around his cock. His mouth latches onto one of your breasts, kissing the velvety skin and sucking at your nipple. The pleasure stutters your movements, a gasp projecting from your lungs when Dieter fucks up into you, his slapdash pace shaking your thighs as his hit against you.

“Oh my god, Dieter…” Your breathy call to him is punctuated with a high-pitched whine, your head rolling back and eyes screwed shut. All you can manage to reciprocate is circling your hips while his cock drives hard against your walls, the tip of him nailing that spongy spot in you with every thrust. A vice grip is taut through your forearms and hands, digging your nails into the skin of his broad shoulders.

“Can you look at me? Please?” The sincerity in his tone snaps your head forward and your eyes blink open, finding him less than a foot away from you. Steamy air spills from both of your ajar mouths, the tenderness — no, the vulnerability in his eyes is palpable. The intensity of his stare glues yours to his, the only exchanges besides flashes of pleasure in irises being sultry exhales that you both swallow from the other.

“Tell me how it feels for you, babygirl. Wanna hear your voice, please.”

You struggle at first to find any words for this moment, finally clearing all the jumbled thoughts about him to give you something to say.

“I feel so…connected to you. Hasn’t ever felt like this before. Like, a whole ‘nother level…”

“I feel it too, babygirl. Can’t even describe it, really. You fit me like a puzzle piece — your sweet pussy, your curves against me, even your fucking wildly brilliant brain. Could do this all day and night with you, baby, if it always feels like this.”

“Fuck, Dieter, ‘m close, I-I—”

“Let go, beautiful girl, come for me. Wanna feel you all over me, squeezing me.”

It’s a fall from grace — if you could call what you were doing graceful. Blinding hot pleasure radiates all over your skin, vibrating at every point he is connected to you. His name falls from your lips over and over, even a soft thank you thrown in the midst of your visions of heaven. Dieter was guiding you through the winding orgasm, his own hips continuing to hit up against your thighs before they stutter, his warm release coating your walls and extending your euphoria while you watch him come undone under you.

Chests rise and fall at an exponentially slower rate while you both float down, coming back into your bodies and locking into that same intense eye contact from before. It’s a silent transfer of energy until Dieter breaks the quiet first, his palms skating up your thighs with a trail of goosebumps.

“Is it too soon to ask to see you again?”

[minnieposting]

MIITOPIA SCS 🥺🥺🥺🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷 i love love love playing with my fav enstars charas again!!! so happy i picked this game up again after way too long!!!

some chara dynamics ive been thinking about under the cut!! note that canon is only loosely considered bc these charas are basically my ocs 😭🩷

kaname (kanamie :3) here is based off my old ogmeru hcs back in the day and i love thinking abt him as the 'glue' to the group in a way?? hes got a very big presence, loud and proud, tho deeply insecure... hes got the airheaded trait so hes always in the clouds in his own world, can be stubborn and hard to work with. but he is very cute so its fine. he is best friends with mayoi and has a crush on tatsumi... also hes a popstar!

tatsumi here in my game is so funny bc he keeps acting in character, aka, chaotic as fuck!! he loves the foods everyone hates, says he swallows giant MP candies in one go, definitely has the ability to kill whenever he wants but simply chooses not to which is somehow scarier . Even tho i gave him the kind trait, hes got threatening :) vibes, yknow. he has loves both mayoi and kaname #polyamory. cleric!

rinne has the laid back trait, and he hates literally every single food for some reason?? 🥲 im sorry man. i dont have him set up for anyone rn, but i might do something with niki or develop his relationship w hiiro later on as the story progresses. i have niki and hiiro as npcs but im planning to use them for when my main team eventually gets kidnapped lol. hes a thief

finally, mayoi!! my main chara and hero, he loves and cares for his team so much. esp kaname! he feels very strongly abt him and wants him to be happy and safe. sometimes falls into ocd thought spirals because he convinces himself his genuine love and affection for him is smth perverse and wrong. but he understands how his brain is and knows hes just being 🫠. anyway hes a mage !!!! and lowkey has a giant crush on rinne too

i definitely want to turn mayoi into a cat or an imp when the option comes up. so maybe my story will change entirely when that happens bc the thought of imp mayoi wanting to protect this cutesy popstar kaname is super adorable to me. plus imp mayoi and cleric tatsumi!! YES!!!!!!!!!! i love it so much

now some more misc rambles ... mayoi and kaname randomly got mad at each other and now the thought of kaname getting >:| easily and throwing out canon kaname style 'insults' is so ... i love u. i can never be mad at you. tho mayoi would probably be so sad and then kaname would be sad too (shoots myself)

[dr-lizortecho]

I would love to hear more about why delena taught you about love if you ever want to talk about it! I'd also love to hear what you see as Damon and Elena's similarities and differences.

So this is a really difficult thing to explain anon, at the very least without explaining the triad of ships that I attribute the same thing to, so I apologize for rambling about non-delena ships in my answer! And this will probably be tmi like everytime I discuss how shows/ships personally impact(ed) me

One of the first ships I ever became invested in enough to create content for- and start discussing in depth was Malec (The Mortal Instruments Series). To start this off I’d like to give a very short disclaimer- I was thirteen or so and still believed in destiny and fate and singular soulmates (one person literally designed to be with you that you just stumble upon out in the wild) and grew up pretty much under a rock (the only reason those books ever graced my presence was my eldest sister sneaking them to my older sister who snuck them to me) and had no clue that queer people existed at all. So color little me shocked for a solid second and doing math tryna figure out the scene where Clary says that Alec is in love with Jace (I philosophized about souls for five seconds and figured it out). All of this to set up how naively blind I was to the concept of love, to the point where Clary and Jace made perfect sense as true love from the moment she sees him- because my little mind had subscribed to the disneyification of romance without much thought to it as a whole. So being able to watch what seemed to me as obvious connection and therefore love between Alec and Magnus while the former second guessed himself was a new experience for me. Realizing that not only is love something that transcends the obstacles in life- but that it’s messy and complicated. Basically Malec taught me that love is a mess- it’s not always logical and above all it’s not something linear that exists at 0% or 100%. Because sometimes you’re falling in love with and choosing to pursue someone while still moving on from someone else- that feelings don’t just snap away because you’re actively pursuing something better for you.

Then Delena came into my sphere. Which I won’t lie wasn’t my first introduction to ships of their caliber, however, something about the individual characters made it come to life and made something in my brain click into place. Because there’s this big question that keeps floating around Delena in the early seasons which is ‘does Damon deserve love and forgiveness?’ aka Elena. Now the answer to that question appears quite simply- no. Damon doesn’t ask for it, he doesn’t try to change, he doesn’t attempt to earn it. However, Elena chooses to forgive him anyway to show love and kindness and turn the other cheek (okay- sorry for the religion bit, but biblical love anyone???). Which was eye opening and beautiful to watch. Because even with more years on me and more emotional intelligence it had never clicked how much work love could be. That you had to consciously make difficult choices and choose to forgive, to understand that people react to pain in all sorts of ways. So Delena taught me love is messy (lol, if you’re noticing a pattern it’s cause there is one). That people are chaotic and their emotions even more so, that you have to choose love everyday. And above all it’s not just something that exists in the good times, it’s bigger than that. That without that choice- that forgiveness love doesn’t exist and will fail every time.

Now- if you follow me and haven’t seen the show I apologize for the continuous spiraling, but Echo is the third ship that taught me about love. This one is much more complex and difficult to explain (but I kinda did explain it a long time ago in my farewell to the show) but Echo taught me to love my faults and myself, to see we are all worthy of love without tying ourselves into perfect knots. And to spare everyone me talking way too much I’m going to leave it there.

[joellesolo]

Neurodivergency is wild, everyone.

The neurodivergent urge to NEVER throw anything away, even if it’s broken/torn/ruined in some way, JUST IN CASE it comes in handy.

I have a pajama rotation I have lived by for over five years, and my Thurs-Sun top between showers is this super comfy HU lounge tank. Well, a couple years ago it got a hole in it, so, I went to the HU site and replaced it (and in hindsight, should’ve bought like five of them). Fast forward to now, there are like, five dime sized holes in my current replacement tank, and I was spiraling (because that’s all I’ve been doing lately 🙃) because I can’t really sew, and I can’t just BUY a new shirt that’s a totally different texture (because I did that for my Tues-Thurs pj shirt and it’s been a year and I STILL don’t like the new one, too thick) so I googled how to sew and it was not going well, so I posted on facebook whining about the neurodivergent routines and clothing rotations I have, honestly just hoping someone would offer to fix my shirt for me 😅 (side note: I did try to find the actual shirt, first on poshmark with no luck, then on HU with no luck, then I found it on a super sketchy site which was cool except it was super sketchy and the link wouldn’t even open on my husband’s phone when I sent it to him so, that was a no go 😞)

And, someone commented explaining they totally get it!! and had knowledge of sewing and was trying to ask me about the fabric, if I could patch it, etc., and I’m like, no, it’s pretty lightweight, I don’t have any other shirt that’s similar otherwise it would solve my problem ha, and while they’re trying to talk me through it I get hit by this random thought:

“Wait, what if I saved the original one?? I don’t like to throw things out! I always save stuff! I could use the original as scrap fabric for patches!!”

So I went digging through three boxes of old clothes in my closet, was about to admit defeat, then thought to check my pajama drawer, and, it was the second shirt from the top. SECOND FROM THE TOP. It’s just been hanging out in my pajama drawer for two/three years, I didn’t toss it even though it has a hole! 

And I was like, perfect! I can just cut up this one and then patch the other one and don’t have to worry about different textures! And then my brain took it one step further and went, wait a minute, the old shirt has ONE tiny little pea sized hole, the current shirt has five dime sized holes... why not mend the shirt that’s in better shape instead of cutting it up and trying to fix five fucking holes?!

So I threw it in the dryer with a dryer sheet (because it smelled like stale drawer) while I showered, and now I don’t even care about fixing it because it’s my SHIRT and it’s the proper day and it fits just right and is super lightweight and I will worry about mending it when the hole gets bigger (or when someone offers to do it for me 😅) 😂

So, yeah, that was a crazy/chaotic two hours of pure stress for no reason. And DAMN I hate my brain sometimes (like needing a pajama rotation!) but DAMN I love it sometimes (like saving a holey shirt!) and it was just a wild ride.

So here are the shirts, the original on the left (you can tell it was in a drawer cuz the fold lines while the one on the right was on a hanger 😂) and a picture of me being so damn proud of myself for essentially being a hoarder 😅

And if you ever, EVER, happen to see the Her Universe Jedi Napper Yoda Lounge Tank in a Medium on poshmark or ebay or any of those sites, please let me know so I can snatch it up 😂

[logically-asexual]

One more time with feeling

summary:

Part one of this series is 'I can tell I've rotted in your brain', about Logan being slowly pushed away over the years until one day he is kicked out of Thomas's conscious mind and becomes the orange side.

This is part two, about Logan finally coming back.

Read on AO3

Chapter 3

| First | Previous | Next |

words: 2124

Virgil opened his eyes slowly. He felt a shiver run down his spine. He hated it here. 

He was in the dark side of Thomas’ mind, his previous home. It looked pretty much the same, still dim, still a mess of cobwebs, weapons and filth. It seemed less chaotic now, though. The weapons were still on the floor but now they were classified on piles in the corner, for example. The tower of dirty dishes in the sink was organized with the biggest, heaviest pots at the bottom and the lightest utensils at the top, making it unlikely for it to fall over. 

He took a deep breath, preparing himself mentally to face the other Dark Sides. 

Even with the progress he had made before with Logan about his fears of Remus, the anxious Side wasn’t ready to face the Duke yet, not where he was the most powerful. Luckily, he didn’t need him right now. He braced himself and called out loud: “Logan! Janus!”

Only Janus showed up, with a bored expression. 

“Where’s Logan?” Virgil asked. 

“Right, because of course you should be able to summon him whenever you want without care for his opinion.” Janus replied with his usual sarcastic tone, studying his nails under his gloves. “You’re on the other side now, remember? I’m surprised that you can even be here without Thomas’ permission.” Janus looked him down, making Virgil shift in his place, uncomfortable. 

The urge to apologize was strong, but Virgil had to stand his ground. He was here for a mission. “Can you call him?”

“I can.” 

Virgil waited a moment, but soon it became clear that Janus wasn’t going to do anything, so he corrected himself. “Will you call him?”

Janus lifted an eyebrow at him, but wouldn’t hold eye contact. “Why should I?”

“I need to talk to him.”

“And how does that benefit me?” Janus tilted his head. 

Virgil was beginning to lose his patience. He had forgotten how difficult Janus could be, and how much that exasperated him. “Please, it’s for Thomas. He needs Logan.”

“Oh, really? He seems perfectly fine to me.”

Virgil inhaled deeply. “Look, I know you’re upset with me but can’t you be helpful for once in your damn life?”

“Upset? Me? Oh, Virgil, I am devastated,” he dramatically lifted a hand to his forehead, “I still can’t sleep thinking what could have been of my dear good friend Anxiety, oh, brother, how I miss him…” Deceit’s sarcasm was getting old too quickly. 

“Oh, I know you do, that’s why you replaced him with Logic as soon as you could.”

“Excuse me?” 

“This is all your fault!” Virgil pointed a finger at him. “You dragged him away from Thomas for your stupid power play or whatever that motivates your scaley brains.”

“I am sorry, that’s right, I forgot my own role for a second,” he laughed humorlessly. “I am solely in charge of dragging Sides in and out of the dark side against their will whenever I feel like it, clearly like how my opinion mattered so much when you decided to move out.”

Virgil narrowed his eyes. “I was looking out for Thomas’ wellbeing! Just like I am doing right now, but it seems I am the only one who still gives a shit about him.”

“Well, congratulations. You certainly are doing a great job at keeping his life from spiraling into disaster.”

“Why don’t you do something then?”

“Oh, Virgil, I would love to, but to think of showing up unannounced when nobody really wants me there I’d have to be incredibly dull and naïve…”

“That’s it, you little bitch—!” Virgil charged towards Janus, but his physical assault was prevented by a hand firmly holding his wrist. 

Stunned, Virgil looked up to see the Side who had appeared next to him. His mouth opened and closed a couple times as he took the other in. The dark blue color of the jacket and the square glasses were all he could recognize about him. 

“Logan?”

“Hello Virgil.”

The three of them were now sitting at the table, using it mostly as an obstacle to keep Janus and Virgil from jumping at each other again. Logan sat with his usual perfect posture, appearing unbothered. 

“What happened to you?” Virgil asked Logan. 

“Well, there have been many occurrences in my personal life recently, but I assume you’re inquiring about my appearance.”

“Uh… sure.”

“That is none of your business.” Logan simply stated. 

Virgil blinked, lost for words. “Oh. Okay… Sorry.”

He stayed quiet for a moment, after which Logan began standing up. 

“If there’s nothing else to discuss–”

“Wait, Logan.”

He sat back down.

“We need you.”  

“For what?” Logan raised an eyebrow at him the same way Janus had done earlier.

“For Thomas.”

“Hm. I don’t think so. As far as I am concerned, Roman is leading the lifestyle Thomas always wanted to have.”

“Things aren’t going well and you know it. He needs your help.”

“Does he want it, though?” Before Virgil had a chance to say something Logan continued. “That was a rhetorical question. I wouldn’t be here if he did.”

“But he does! I even made him say it out loud! He wants his responsibility and organization, his Logic back.”

Logan and Janus looked at each other, communicating with furrowed brows and movements of their eyes. Logan didn’t want to talk about what happened, but he knew he would have to do it eventually. 

“I am afraid it’s too late for that.” Janus finally said. 

“What do you know, you slippery—“

“Janus is right, Virgil,” Logan interrupted. “Logic as you knew it no longer exists.”

Virgil once again paused in bewildered silence. “What?”

Logan rubbed his nose between his eyes. “You know, maybe I could answer your questions if you could formulate them as complete sentences sometimes.”

Virgil stuttered for a moment. “I’m sorry. Uh… Why does Logic no longer exist?”

“As you know, we grow and evolve along with Thomas, and our roles and appearances often change according to the way he perceives us as parts of his personality. If that outlook changes, then we change, too.”

“Uh huh?” Virgil prompted him to continue. 

“In addition to punctuality, rationality, and organization, Thomas seems to have associated the logical Side of his personality with behaviors and emotions such as assertiveness, anger, irateness, and hostility.”

“Logan wasn’t exactly Thomas’s favorite Side already,” Janus continued the explanation, “but now every issue with anger that he had was projected onto Logan until it practically took over Thomas’s perception of him, which, you might guess, made him very happy.”

Virgil nodded. “Patton hates it when Thomas is angry.” Then, he turned to Logan. “So that’s how you ended up here?”

“I guess it was a matter of time.” Logan shrugged, but his tension was apparent on his shoulders and his clenched fists. “But this way, if he wants the traits you mentioned to return as a Side, then he’ll have to accept the anger and similar characteristics that I now represent, as well.” 

Virgil nodded again. “I’m sorry, L. I should have known what was happening and maybe I could have done something.”

Logan inhaled deeply, his eyebrows furrowing, then he shook his head. “In the time I have been here I have gone over the events dozens of times, looking for something that could have been done differently. There’s nothing. This was inevitable from the moment Thomas chose the lifestyle he did for his adulthood.” 

“But you did always like this dumpster, didn’t you?” Virgil looked around the constantly decaying living room.

The corner of Logan’s mouth twitched. “‘Like’ is a strong word. Despite that, I appreciate it that here I don’t have to be concerned about whether I said the right thing to convince Thomas about doing something good for himself, or to not hurt him at least.” 

“Don’t you get frustrated with all that’s wrong currently that wouldn’t be if you were there?”

Logan thought for a second. “Focusing on impossible scenarios isn’t productive, and I normally would avoid the practice.”

Janus shot an accusatory glance at him. 

“However, some… emotions,” he grimaced, “aren’t as benumbed in me as they used to be, so I would lie if I said I don’t get fixated on ideas about what I would do if I were given the opportunity.” 

Virgil was comforted by the fact that Logan hadn’t really changed. It was still him. Maybe more irritable, but that shift had started years before, and now he seemed to have accepted to deal with it. Now just Thomas had to do the same. 

“So why don’t you just go back?” 

“That would be nice, wouldn’t it?” Logan scowled. “Everything gets back to normal and then I’d just have to wait a few minutes until they get tired of me again and end back here more humiliated than before, how exciting.” 

The sarcasm was a new addition.

Virgil looked down at his hands, thinking of a response that wouldn’t make things worse than they were. He settled on just speaking his thoughts out loud.

“On one hand I know what that’s like and I don’t want you to go through it. It turned out kinda alright in the end for me but I don’t know if it will happen a second time. On the other, I told you before that I just know how to point out the problems, but not how to solve them, and Thomas got plenty right now and I am so sick of just standing there knowing things are wrong and being incapable of doing anything about it.”

Virgil finished the rant flopping his head down on the table. 

“I’m sorry that it is so complex, Virge.” Logan sighed. “Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t show up and get a single word in. Not if Thomas and, more specifically, the other Sides aren’t at least somewhat open to what I’d have to say.”

“But they’re in denial and insisting everything is fine.” Virgil looked up to glare at Janus. “Because of you!” 

Janus didn’t change his calm demeanor except for narrowing his eyes. “Hey, I’m doing what is needed to protect us. If they don’t want to see us then why should I force them?” 

“Ugh you’re always like this, you don’t care about Thomas, just about yourself!”

“Caring about myself is caring about Thomas because we’re the same person you idiotic—“

Their bickering was interrupted by the sound of a chair sliding against the floor, caused by Logan suddenly standing up. 

“Shut up!” He shouted. He was breathing heavily and not looking up from the table. After a second, more calm, he said, “I should leave. This is leading us nowhere.”

Virgil stood up after him. “No, Logan, wait.”

“If I participate during a discussion it will keep devolving into this and I want no part in that.” 

“No, it doesn’t–”

“Yes! God damn it, don’t you listen? – I’m sorry!” Logan stopped his own outburst, covering his face in his hands. 

“See!” Virgil gestured at him. “This is not healthy.” 

Logan just shook his head. 

“Like,” Virgil kept trying, “you remember when we were in my room, right? And you spoke about that curve thing for experiencing anxiety. There’s gotta be something similar with anger, like, Thomas being a pushover too scared of conflict means he can’t get anything done.”

Logan rolled his eyes, communicating that this seemed obvious to him. 

“But aren’t you in the complete other extreme? With Thomas pushing all his repressed anger onto you for you to bottle it all up, it just can’t be… good. I’m sure that if you talked and let some of it out then you could both meet in the middle, and that would be good for both of you, all of us, actually.”

Logan’s tense expression faltered at that, not knowing how to feel about Virgil schooling him with his own previous lecture. 

“… Come on, dude… Just give it a chance. Please.”

It wasn’t like Virgil to try so hard to get something. His uncharacteristic insistence convinced Logan that what he asked for really was important to him. Reluctantly, he lifted his chin up and finally said, “Fine. If you somehow make it so the others are open to seeing me then… I’ll be there.”

Virgil visibly relaxed, a figurative weight lifting off his shoulders. “Thanks, L.” He took a step backwards and began to sink out. “I’ll see you soon, then.”

After he left, Logan slumped back down on the chair, leaning his elbows on the table and his face in his hands. 

“This is going to be a disaster.”

“Yup,” Janus answered before drinking from a wine glass he had just manifested.

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[malka-lisitsa]

Star wars Headcanon: Katherine's BPD

@sithdestined brought up a point about the resources and training Katherine would have gotten as Katerina while with the jedi order, so I want to touch a little on the differences in her BPD for this verse.

Unlike her TVD main verse, Katherine spent a lot longer in this 500+ year life span as Katerina than she did in her canon universe, and ALSO never knew her father.

Because of this Katherine's bpd stems less from an abuse root, and more instability in her life when she was younger. Lack of needs being met, and circumstances that lead to abandonment issues.

Katerina had a more mild case of BPD to start, and when she joined the Jedi order, she was given training that helped her manage her emotions and emotional responses as a whole. How to rationalize and talk herself out of a spiral. Essentially A CBT therapy training.

This helped Katerina immensely while she was in the order and worked with regularly to keep herself in check, and with very little in the way of opportunities for abandonment triggers, Katerina did really well in her environment.

It wasn't till she met and fell in love with Stefan that her BPD symptoms started to act back up. There was suddenly someone so incredibly important in her life that she was capable of losing, and this often triggered her abandonment issues and ultimately lead to her choice to leave the Order for love.

While she was with Stefan he was incredibly good at meeting her needs and took very good care of her, so Katerina's BPD symptoms were highly manageable again in her still mild case.

It's not until she LOST STEFAN and the spiral there after that lead to some incredibly shitty situations that resulted in a lot of traumatic events, did Katerina's BPD move from a mild case to an extreme one.

Her emotional regulation was next to zero, trust issues sky rocketed, paranoia, for a while she had all 9 symptoms in her little bpd infinity gauntlet. Luckily her desire to live returned after a very short time, with the reminder that Stefan wouldnt want her to go before her she was meant to. - Once again survival instincts set to max.

It was in this time period's unstable grief spiral that Katherine changed her identity and also made a lot of enemies. Impulsivity, paired with zero emotional regulation, and rage tends to land you on a lot of people's shit list.

Eventually, Katherine evened out and her spiral ended with her in a delightful chaotic neutral alignment, and a lot of trust issues.

However unlike her canon universe counterpart- Katherine had prior training on how to help regulate her emotions. Now out of her spiral, Katherine does a lot better with her emotional reactions than canon Katherine does.

This Katherine can and will get up and walk away BEFORE she acts or reacts on her anger. It is her first step to emotionally regulating herself. She also will try to talk herself out of a spiral if her abandonment issues are triggered. Katherine tries to rationalize the actions of others before her brain takes them and runs with some demonized story of how they hate her and are going to betray her.

Keep in mind, these tactics do NOT always work, she very well may slip up and fail to regulate herself, but UNLIKE canon Katherine, SW Katherine at least has the tools to TRY, and there for isn't quite as reactionary as her canon counterpart.

That being said her white hot rage is still the same, and the way she reacts violently is just as probable should she fail to regulate herself after a trigger.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[wxlfbites]

I’m starting to realize that my surroundings can sometimes effect my identity in ways that have previously sent my nonhuman journey spiraling.

From abusive households, to reliving trauma, traveling across the country, the rise and fall of internet popularity, losing loved ones, moving between homes, struggling with mental and physical illnesses, and navigating a growing subculture that I identified with, my life could practically give a guy whiplash. It’s no wonder my identity is the same way. I’ve noticed though, that when I’ve been in safer, more secure environments, my identity seems less chaotic… and in environments with enormous amounts of stress and strife, my identity feels impossible to steady.

When I first awakened, I was in a relatively safe environment, and I knew immediately that I was a wolf. When I was forced back into a place that put me in constant fight or flight, my identity morphed into a whirlwind of cameo shifts. I was a wolf and then a wolfdog, a fox, a dog, a werewolf, then a vampire, a polymorph…. I was everything and nothing all at once. And a species identity crisis wasn’t even the half of it. If you’ve known me for a while, you will have seen all of the different faces I’ve put on over the years and all of my struggles that you could connect them to. But now…. my home is a place of healing and solace and I am able to feel the confidence in my identity as a wolf again.

So I’m sitting here… really getting it now… that my brain couldn’t comprehend why my mother was staying with our abuser for so long, why I was the scapegoat in my family, why I deserved the abuse, and so it created a system to protect me. If I couldn’t understand everything external, then my brain would focus on understanding the internal. Any small feelings had to be thoroughly analyzed for the sake of understanding what they meant and why. Now that I don’t have to use that system, I’m able to just… be… and that feels… so nice.

[unsleepingtales]

Ey life got chaotic but we press on. First up is Ravening War episode three reactions, hopefully soon to be followed by Ravening War episode four reactions, and, if we’re lucky, Ravening War episode five reactions. Let’s go! (also this is a long one just a heads up)

First combat episode this season I am HYPE

My partner prefers the role play episodes and I get that I really do but something about all the numbers and mechanics and trinkets in the combat episodes really tickles my brain

Colin :D

Aabria’s makeup on point as always

Fruity you say 😏

(Distant screams of ambushees)

Different degrees of strong and loose?? Malleable battlefield?? Ey??

Raphaniel so fucking ruthless Jesus

With a lot of swagger!!

Karna sweetheart

Karna why you gotta kill someone

Come on Provolone!

Aw lil Karna and Colin moment :)

You didn’t bring a carriage. You brought starfruit.

Awww everyone’s mini reveals

So excited to see Amangeaux fight

Gang it is once again Rick Perry Appreciation Hours

Sorry Aabria a WHAT kinda gal

Bloodthirsty radish yeesh

Karna is so real because if I had magic I also would just use it all the time regardless of how much danger I would be putting myself in if someone saw me

That looks like a real orange. Are you telling me that’s not? A real orange?

DOME ANTICS

I really hope that they do like. A series of destination/travel posters for Ravening War with the art they’ve been putting on the dome. I think those would be sick.

The camera movement this episode!!

God I want to work for them

Augh poor little cherries

The character choice “Actually no, she’s gonna be dumb” is so important sometimes.

A little fuck with your mind cantrip?

Mind sliver oooooo

It’s really hard to see a woman spiral like this 😔

This is happening TO me sir no it is not shush

COLIN DEALS NECROTIC DAMAGE????

Nothing can heal this person from this blade????

Oh my god.

Oh my god that’s fucking horrifying. As someone with GI issues? The visuals of that Eldritch blast are horrifying.

A little guy??? You can’t add a wrinkle to the encounter!

Y’know, if you wanted the rowboat guy to not notice anything. Maybe you shouldn’t have thrown a guy into the river?

Banana has the highest initiative???

You *feel* pretty hidden??

“Please full die”

Brennan was really trying for a Beardsley calling to Helio moment there and Did Not get it.

Like a delusional mary poppins <3

A Cody level turn!!

Pulling arrows out of her own body, still goes oof.

Chess jokes!

Ohohohoho intimidation

Oh god

Gonna kill Brennan with his own box!

Grape IS the worst candy flavor thank you Aabria for speaking the truth.

Pamela!

Brennan looks like he’s losing his mind lmaooo

Is Deli just gonna flat out kill her in one turn

Ooh that’s a cool ability ngl

Pompous Mockery? Neat

All the multiclasses this season are so cool! Giving me so many ideas!

Don’t kill Colin :(

Horrifying. Horrifying!

Everyone gleefully watching Brennan squirm is so fun

Oh time for some Raphaniel lore!

Oh my god??

Oh does that end his turn?? Does it?

Oh dear lord

That’s our third “how do you want to do this” in like 15 minutes jesus

Karna! So creepy! Love u bb

YOU. DIED. FOR. NOTHING.

Babe WHAT

Ohohoho the political intrigue

“No secret was worth this” Colin honey

Raphaniel is just so unhinged huh

Spiesssss

What. What’s up guys. What? Hello what?

TWO NAT 20S on this poor fucked up apologetic skeleton thing?

SPORES?????

If karna’s bardic just saved him that’s beautiful ngl

Zombies?? Calorum’s got zombies???

On a 22 arcana he’s got no clue? Damn

Oh god what if that’s what Karna would turn into if she didn’t cut the rot out of herself?

Hive mind? Mold hive mind?

How many people have visibly used magic now?

Ooh camera antics

And we go back below the food pyramid!

Sanctus Putris means holy rot jsyk

Oh god oh fuck oh no

Oh this is so reliant on shame. That has so many thoughts attached to it.

Guilt is being utilized so effectively here

I also feel crazy!

[iris-echos]

Me on new years eve 2024 with blackbox warrior-okultra (true story actually that i would very much like to tell)

Yknow what fuck it under the cut imma put the story which is basically my origin story as a will wood fan

Okay so once upon a time there was a genderfluid rat motherfucker named echo

Hi. Thats me.

Uhhhhhh

So yeah being genderfluid there are a R I D I C U L O U S amount of us who are will wood fans so i had a couple pretty well known songs in some playlists (i/me/myself, the main character, thermodynamic lawyer)

Im also a magnus archives fan which is a fandom with A SHIT TON of will wood music used in edits and tt audios and whatever you can think of a fandom using a song for THEY HAD THAT WITH A WILL WOOD SONG

Now this journey of mine began... december (???) of 2023

In my tiktok scrolling i came across a sildeshow of someones "which will wood song are you" result and the little blurb under the result said something aling the lines of "are you a jonathan sims kinnie by chance?" Which made the creator mention they didn't know who that was and the comment section spiral (haha its a tma joke get it) into disbelief at a wwattw fan not knowing magpod

This played on my mind a bit because id heard a few songs and they were pretty good so i thought id listen to them sometime

Flash forwards to new years eve. My house was full of relatives my parents had given me permission to hang out upstairs by myself

I decided to give this will wood fellow a listen

I found a discography playlist, put if on shuffle and oh shit not only is his lyricism captivating some of the songs have SCREAMING (also i was wearing headphones which whole other level dude)

Now i love metal, i love punk (especially the loud shit)

So what else was i to do then scour spotify for playlists of loud ass will wood songs and then i found it

"CHAOTIC WILL WOOD"

Well who would i be to refuse?

I put that on shuffle and after a few songs i heard it

Piano. Faster than most guitar riffs. Holy fuck i kid you not this was the moment my life changed.

BlackBox Warrior - OKULTRA

I would finish that song and swipe right back to the start

I listened to that on loop for –and i shit you not– at lease FOUR FUCKING HOURS

From 10pm to 2am

I went into 2024 blasting will wood directly into my eardrums until i could almost feel my brain leak out of my ears and i kept listening

And i would do it again

you ever listen to a song 47 times in a row and every time you’re like wow what a good song. I’m gonna play it again.