#my brain just doesnt function how it should

[sad-leon]

Forgor to clock out but already took melatonin so even if I wanted to make that 30-45 minute round trip, I couldnt ;-;

I know its not a big deal, but the anxiety doesnt know that

This why I liked swiping my badge, much harder to forget to clock out (though also much easier to forget to clock in)

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

If i had a quarter for every villain that CANONICALLY ends up being friends with (or at least close to) Donut I'd have three quarters!!!

I'm rounding up to get a full dollar of "former villains get to be friends with Donut" with red team locus thank you for your time

[dubacheryking]

perhaps this is a controversial take but failing to teach your kids how to read and how to swim should get them taken away from you. those are two extremely basic and EXTREMELY IMPORTANT skills for children to have throughout their entire lives. if u unschool ur kids and think them learning to read isnt important go fuck urself

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[femmefaggot]

my mother acting like me not grabbing the garbage from the curb is the end of the world. it was taken Yesterday and im so close to having a panic attack it is not even funny so youre going to need to give me a few fucking minutes.

[1nt3rnalpu7ref4ct10n]

tumblr wont let me post anymore pics for the night so

✨Random Xmen Hcs that i just thought up recently based on xmen tas s1e3 and 4✨

(these are mostly sabretooth related cause big angry kitty man got my brain)

Harnesses: Logan actually (based on the animal) loves harnesses, but probably has bad past experiences w harnesses, so hed need positive reinforcement training (like how you train dogs to not hate muzzles or crates). Victor however L O A T H E S harnesses, based on those videos of cats being unable to function when theyre wearing those walking harnesses for the first time

Scott doesnt know how to properly interact with pets, hes the type to just awkwardly start petting a cat or dog thats sat on his lap and he doesnt know what to do

SCOTTS SO AUTISTIC I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS HES AUTISTIC AS FUCK

Vic does that flehmens response thing whenever he smells somethin, its not that its a bad smell (half the time it Is a bad smell *cough cough logan*) its that hes trying to process the smell and what the source is

not based on the episodes i just think its fun: kurts like a weird and adorable mix between a cat, gecko, n owl (i saw fanart of kurt with owl feet and i fuckin love that idea, and hes flexible, he can probably turn his head almost 180 like owls)

OH ABOUT CATS VIC DOES THAT MOUTHING AFFECTION THING BIG CATS DO CAUSE PRESSURE ON TEETH FEELS NICE

Victor also has the tapetum lucidum thing (like logan) so i cant help but always imagine he n Logan are fighting or something in the dark and when they hear a noise they just look up and 2 sets of blue-ish green/copper-red eyes are reflectin whatever light there is

When Victor stretches, he stretches his hands and claws, so his claws like grip onto a table or somethin and he stretches so hard his arms do that shakey flex thing and his claws just rip and tear whatever theyre stuck on, i think theres a video of a tiger doin this somewhere

Logan prob also does the claw stretch thing, hes gotta, claws are the entire length of his fucking forearms, and kurt maybe if he does have claws

idk, this is mostly just talkin about victor bein a 7ft tall cat

KURT IS DIGITIGRADE, kinda/somewhat, ive seen kurt in some of the cartoons be shown as digitigrade and it should be talked about more

not a hc but actually kinda canon SCOTTS A REDHEAD, HIS HAIR COLOR IS LIKE THE SAME AS ROGUE AND GAMBITS

another hair hc/somewhat canon: MAGNETO ALWAYS HAD WHITE HAIR, THATS WHY PIETRO HAS WHITE HAIR ITS FUCKING GENETIC

[zelenbug]

Omg... I saw your speculative biology post about rayman creatures, i am so weak for those!

Do you have any more headcanons you could tell me about? Personally I'm most interested in the Teensies and flies (ahem, Murfy) but you can tell me about anyone you feel like. I'd see it as a win either way :D

If you want to offcourse!

surprised this wasnt as niche as i expected ! i dont really have much more to say that i havent mentioned in the post but this is giving me something to fink about so im happy to pull some more out of my brain

-

teensies have pupils in much the same way mice and rats etc do. its just that they have really dark colored irises so you cant see the pupils under most conditions. however some teensies are weird and have really light irises, as in these guys. the eyes are set up like the same otherwise

globteens case is explainable with how incredibly pale he is. he might just have some kind of leucism

-

also i concluded from rayman 3 that they have 2 toes on their feet and this is the closest visual approximation

-

something i also concluded from rayman 3 is that teensy heights vary a LOT. several are taller than rayman! explicitly! and i think it gave romeo permanent back problems hence his incredible posture (i have no idea why ottos posture is really weird but in like, the opposite way, why is he this upright)

most teensies still live up to their name, but some ethnic groups will tend to be noticeably taller, like sylkins tufkins nookins (especially nookins) etc. but they can all be randomly tall. i think this is a given for any species of anything but its kind of notable for the people literally named teensies, also just how much the heights seem to vary (this is obtained with raymap also, theyre not found on the same map but the heights are relative to rayman and should be accurate)

its funny sometimes my headcanons are just . descriptions of things that literally are canon. but like. you get me this is something that is remarkable in my hc lore

-

nose does has cartilage in it (gotta protect the magic organ thing somehow) but its still like. very squeezable. makes a honk through cartoon logic, hurts some people if honked though (Ales Mansay)

speaking of him. if the magic organ is broken, its still like. present it just doesnt function well. i have no idea what it actually looks like other than some kind of blob thing that takes up most of the schnozzle (with some space for like. the nasal cavity). the closest thing i could think of is. the melon on cetaceans. i dont know if itd be like that i just think it wouldnt be much like a brain??? its hard to imagine An Organ Dedicated Specifically To Synthesizing Magic.

ive been thinking about it but im not sure if other species have that too, just much smaller placed somewhere else on the head, just allowing them to use magic. i think i like it better if Everyone gets access to it regardless of having An Organ Dedicated Specifically To Synthesizing Magic

-

i doodled baby murfy once

greenbottle larvae dont tend to talk much, or do much other than eat rotted meat all day. you cant really socialize or play games with them or anything

they dont end up remembering how it was like to be a larva or a pupa. pupating would feel like going to bed for like a week and then you wake up suddenly having conciousness and wings. its around this time they get named too, larvae are treated almost like a weird pet that will suddenly turn into a person eventually

also like, imagine the adaptation period after emerging from the pupa. its like being a 13 year old and a newborn at the same time. they do adapt fairly quickly though, one whos 15 or even 14 (both ages equivalent, not glade years) can already seem pretty normal

also the actual hatchday, and the day they stop being a pupa, are treated as separate, so its like they get TWO free birthdays! unless the dates overlap

much of this Larva Information applies to the other bugs as well. they have larvae and then pupate and then emerge as actual concious beings

[manie-sans-delire-x]

Thoughts on ASPD stigma.

Even psych professionals often dont comprehend how having CD or ASPD (or NPD or even BPD) is not the same as having "bad person disorder", and they forget that a person without those disorders can be equally toxic or manipulative. ANYONE can be. Even depression or anxiety can contribute to someone being toxic. Drug addicts are known for being highly manipulative and toxic, yet we correctly identify them as the victim and patient who needs serious help. (And you dont even choose to have a mental illness at all, while many addictions start as a choice).

The stigma and defeatist attitude of psych professionals refusing to treat ASPD or see it as impossible leads to confirmation bias and a self-fulfilled prophecy. Even if the ASPD itself cannot be treated, most have co-morbid issues, and a depressed, drug addicted, traumatized sociopath will behave worse than a non-depressed, non-addicted, healthier one. They should focus on other areas and work on what they can. The brain, and life itself, is a system, and making one aspect healthier will make all parts at least a little healthier. Also, they know people with ASPD notoriously do not seek out treatment and tend to reject it, so why not try when someone is willing and take the opportunity to learn what works and what doesnt? Where is the willingness to try? To try challenging their own therapeutic skills? The academic curiosity to learn?

Ive been medically discriminated twice, due to an ASPD diagnosis myself, and due to my own schooling in psych, I know that they straight up teach students that therapy just makes people with ASPD more manipulative. And I'm actually not even denying that, I do think thats true in many cases, but refusing to treat a person with mental illnesses and trauma because they MIGHT become more manipulative in the future is crazy. This way of thinking is not tolerated in any other field- medical, legal. A doctor doesnt (usually) refuse to give treatment, even to a murderer or rapist. A judge cant sentence a person as guilty because they feel like they might commit a crime in future. (And at least committing a crime is objective, while "being manipulative" is subjective, vague, and also not illegal...).

Whenever I work as a mental health professional, I make a point to approach my clients with unrelenting positive regard. I think the best of them even when they're being very symptomatic, even when cursing me out and physically attacking me. I hold the belief that they are trying their best and severely struggling, and I treat every day as a new leaf and fresh start between us. The patient who actually has the illness is the one suffering the most. Its a disorder for that reason, because having it really sucks and negatively impacts a persons life in every category of functioning. No one sane chooses that. If I can do this with an ASPD diagnosis, they certainly are able to.

I think this stigma could be reduced a little by including internal experience and thought process in the diagnosis criteria, or at least discussing it with students, not just focusing on external behavior. This deeper understanding of the psychology behind ASPD may increase empathy and help clinicians see ASPD as a complex, usually trauma-driven mental illness whose presentation can vary a lot between people and that doesnt make up the entirety of a person's personality, instead of just seeing someone choosing to be shitty.

Also I know prison inmates are a conveniently available population to research, but they should really research people with ASPD who are able to keep out of prison and somewhat function in society, and females too, not just violent male convicts. Obviously basing all knowledge on extreme cases and only one sex is going to give a skewed perception.

[freebooter4ever]

is the corset comfortable enough to wear everyday? or at least more comfortable than the pooling blood? I'm curious about what will happen after consistent use and then removing it all. the blood pooling happens right away when the compression isn't happening?

it's interesting that it would work similarly to compression tights. I don't really understand how that would work considering how much your torso moves at any given moment while you breathe. at first I was going to say I'd like to read a long paper about it, but realistically I'd prefer a youtube video with visuals. I'm a slave to technology.

It certainly feels comfortable enough to wear it all day so far - though I am starting small and plan on wearing it in the early morning when the brain fog is the worst and in the evenings until I get used to it. What I have on isn't a corset btw, it's shapewear. Which i bought as a test before i invested in a full blown corset.

The interesting thing about POTS is that it is literally different for everyone - there are commonalities but seriously mine is SO different from anyone i've talked to online and that seems to be the 'norm'. My only advice would be to try everything because you don't know what will work and try to make sure every piece of gear you buy is returnable. Once you find something your body tolerates then you buy a bunch of it (i started with 1 compression tights, now i have 4).

I genuinely have no idea scientifically how compression works - I asked my cardiologist and he didn't really explain it to me just kept repeating the type of compression i should wear. I do know that i have been wearing the tights for about two months now and still the minute i take them off the blood starts pooling (and it dont stop pooling). As i gain muscle, as i get rid of the bacteria in my intenstines, this could change. Or i could be dealing with this for the rest of my life. Doctors haven't studied it. Cause it doesnt kill you it only disables you and takes the joy out of your life because it slowly depletes your brain of oxygen and your body cant function like that 🙃. Plus up until covid it mostly affected women, and you know those women - anxiety ridden delicate creatures clearly faking these symptoms for the attention.

Side note: i have learned i get frustrated with friends and strangers who try to talk about 'how brave' and 'resilient' i am and how they 'admire me' for fighting this. I call bullshit lol, this isn't some bravery on my part this is just me fighting to survive. I got lucky in that my body seems to respond to at least some treatments. I've read too many stories of people whose body didnt.

Ironically i did record a video essay last night in 3 parts, but it wasnt about compression, it was me rambling about how with all the evidence i gathered plus the tidbit i learned yesterday im 99.9% certain i met geno in 2012 in a pittsburgh nightclub when i was clueless and he was young and hot in a tight shirt. I might post it later today. I had to do multiple takes on the last video trying to describe exactly how well i vividly remembered the shape of this guy's body (i kept blushing)

[s0lar-ch3ri]

when cheri has ocs

its time to go silly mode.

LETS TALK ABOUT MY OCS FOR ONCE IN FOREVER :D

OKAY SO LIKE. paige (he/xey). 16 year old paige. he got multiple arms and shit, can grow up to 20 extra, and uses sign mainly to communicate as hes slowly losing his hearing (hes like at 40 as of rn, would be more but Events happened and it went down a LOT quicker)! he is a pd oc and has a nephew named collins (who ill talk about more either later or in a diff post, depends how i feel) and like. lets get into his silly lil thigns (putting a read more cause long rambles tee hee)

(OH AND NELF IK YOU FOLLOW ME. NO NO READING FOR YOU. or actually any of my friends in the rp sighs)

POWER INFO:

the arms can pop out basically anywhere on the back and sides of the torso (this does include the shoulders)! they can all be given different tasks to do, but paige prefers to have them all do the same things. the arms function like regular arms, and can be hidden on command. the arms arent really stored, they just appear. xeir skin though does has a faster scar-making process as to handle the arms that pierce out.

DRAWBACKS/DOWNSIDES/WEAKNESSES:

the arms do pierce the skin each time, and while xeir skin is able to form back at much quicker speeds, it still aches a bit when their first pulled out. the pain can last for longer and hurt more dependent on how many arms are pulled out. from this, everything becomes strange sensory wise and attempting tasks (like restraining someone or even picking something up) becomes a lot harder.

to command the arms to do different things requires a lot of focus on the arms. the more complicated, or the more arms doing all different things, the commands to the arms are, the less outside information is to taken in as to keep a focus over all the arms.

if an odd amount of arms is in use, it can cause an unbalance. its similar to phantom limb in a way, being incomplete in its set.

the arms can randomly pop out unexpectedly. whether its because of a fear response or he just had the misfortune of having them, it always hurts like hell (more then normal, and because of their wild nature, it doesnt really go away) and takes a bit to put away. he also becames basically unaware of his surroundings as all his focus goes into controlling these arms.

with the wild arms and shit, they also can damage paige. they are not under paiges control (unless, ofc, the focus thing) and as such squirm around. however, things can escalate and the arms seem to have a mind of their own, able to aimlessly grab and rip at things. this includes paige.

BACKSTORY:

paige had started noticably going deaf at the age of 8. for a couple years, they (xeir parents) tried to have paige speak, but eventually (when he was like 9 or 10) they just had him learn sign. also around the age of 8, paige had noticed the arm thing, but managed to hide them easy. hes a lil transgender guy and uses binding tape (he/xey btw should have said that sooner)! he ended up telling his nephew his secret (moreso because he caught him once and paige just decided to explain it all). as of current, paige is in highschool (where he gets picked on i mean hes a disabled kid hello??), able to balance both being a hero and a student pretty well (he may be failing a couple classes but like. surely he can fix it).

THE SECRET:

paige doesnt actually have "xeir" own powers. its a parasite, implanted into his brain. whether by accident or not (still havent decided), it was implanted around the birth of paige and is slowly eating away. its why the arms can be very wild and shit, theyre not really belonging to his control or him at all. it wasnt really identifiable and it isnt noticed by paige. so uh yeah

[ultimateplaylistmaker]

Still haven't recovered from "Guardian Demon"

Still feeling physically sick from it

Help

Alright my advice for "so you read the controversial dark fic people sometimes talk about and now you kinda need aftercare"

Get some fresh air if possible, get outside, disconnect a bit, it doesnt need to be for long, but a walk around the block if possible can help

Get something warm and comfortable, make some tea, some hot chocolate, some soup, warm and easy to hold.

Detox it out of your mind. If you're like me you struggle to let go of thoughts unless you can vent them or express them. Gossip with a friend about it, ask to rant about it. While this doesn't help everyone and if you aren't careful could make it worse, I personally find being able to go "LOOK AT THIS BULLSHIT" to be a good way to make my brain move on from a topic

Self care, have you taken a shower lately? eaten? hydrated? you may just be lacking some biological function and it's merging with your unease, so making sure youre clean, fed, and watered can help reduce it.

Read some fluff, listen to some happy music, watch a calming minecraft lets play, let your mind settle down, look at cute shipping art of the, remind yourself that it's a story and they are fine, pet a cat

Alternatively, if you aren't the kind of person that works on, switch to dark content you already know you like. Listen to that heavy metal song about the devil, watch a horror movie you know you like, read a spooky story that you know won't make it worse. Hell, play something like fnaf and get jumpscared a few times to get your brain onto a different less upsetting kind of lingering anxiety.

Vent content, this is similar to the detox, but more creatively focused, write an alternative end to the story, draw a picture of kokichi looking cool and powerful, make a new ending, a new story, one where it ends how you want it end, where it gives the closure you want for the characters. Hell, write about your super cool oc going into the story and rescuing kokichi! Even if it makes you feel a bit silly or self indulgent, that's good! that means youre having fun again!

Not all of these will work or be appealing, but doing a few should at least help take the edge off it. I said it kinda jokingly but it really is similar to aftercare, you read a really dark story with sexual themes and you essentially safeworded, you're going through a similar crash. You aren't being dramatic, or weak, or silly, or overreacting, or anything. Intense emotions over a period of time, even if it's just a few hours of reading, can cause crashes in your brain due to chemicals going a bit funky. It's kinda like how if you get home from a super fun party you suddenly feel really down and unhappy, that's an endorphin crash!

So even if it sounds a bit silly to say it about reading a fanfiction, but if it's fucking with your head still, you need to give yourself aftercare

[system-of-a-feather]

Tagging @syscurse with this cause they seem to have more awareness of the final fusion "discourse" and I dont have a thesis statement or any real argument here beyond just casual discussion nor do I know if Im "strawmanning" cause I havent actually seen much of it since M&M's final fusion backlash (+ Im not trying to argue, just share thoughts)

But the common line of "Final Fusion isnt even worth it / isnt even good because you can always resplit" and what not is honestly fucked up and problematic to say in regards to a healing method but on a personal level didnt so much have anything to compare it to in order to highlight it

But as someone who has been working with OCD longer than DID and final fusion, its kind of like saying "Trying to resist / be free from doing your compulsions isn't even worth it because you can always get new compulsions or relapse, even if you free yourself from all the ones you have now, its not like itll stay that way"

Cause - and Im not sure how many chronic long term OCD folks are out there - but for cases like mine where its "high functioning" (ie constant but due to how its done it doesnt impact my day to day as much as it should) and long long long deeply rooted and untreated, a valid settling place for healing is to just integrate and adjust the compulsions to be less intrusive and focus on navigating obsessions and intrusive thoughts better

For some it might just not be worth the time and effort to actually fully stop all the compulsions entirely because - in our case - there are too many, its too deeply rooted in trauma and other disorders, and so reinforced that to do so would be a SHIT ton of work whereas usually we actually are pretty functioning

So if we were to put the community aspect the DID community has onto the OCD "community" then one could say there is "full remission" and "functional OCD" as recovery goals.

And as someone whose happily settled in functional OCD and currently really isnt seeking out full remission (as that would probably be after final fusion) its completely valid to say "Im happy with this level".

Much like DID and splitting though, the OCD brain even after healing is still a brain physically wired in an OCD way and inevitably you are always going to be prone to developing obsessions and compulsions. Does that mean working on freeing yourself from the ones you currently have is pointless? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Even if you have two weeks, two months, two years, twenty years, forty years and then "relapse" or whatever it is and end up gaining new obsessions / compulsions or splitting a new alter, obtaining that period of ideal and desired healing is an amazing thing.

Healing has ups and downs and works like a tide for almost every disorder and every version of healing. Its not a special thing about DID or final fusion, heck the claim could be made with functional multiplicity and dissociative symptoms and barriers coming back

Idk man, Im mostly rambling thoughts but TLDR healing is a rollercoaster, sometimes its a Disneyland ride sometimes its Six Flags, but there are ups and downs regardless of the disorder and version of healing for an individual and I really think its a bit of a negative nancy and a thought coming from a place of not understanding later stages of healing from people not quite there yet

Anyways, just rambles open mic to anyone who wants to ramble back

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[pup-pee]

*presents u my dick grayson hcs like ur @ my garage sale* (dick hcs #1?)

♡ this

♡ hes a passenger princess(no this is cannon whoopsie)

♡ dick is like the first girl 2 b killed in a slaughter movie, but just as a 27-ish yr old adult man

♡ draws on a beauty mark in a different spot everytime & gaslights any1 who asks about it -"hey wasnt ur beauty mark under ur other eye?" -"idk i cant see my own face"

♡ hes always losing his hairties bc he keeps shooting them @ ppl -& rubberbands 4 that matter

♡ we dont talk about the skin grip example -it involves a lot of falling & a lot of crashing -if ykyk

♡ dick usually has a twix in his pocket, but in order 2 get it u have 2 guess if its a left or right twix -he also respectfully keeps the left twin in his left pocket & the right twix in the right pocket

♡ he never believed in santa claus but is terrified that watermelon will grow inside him if he swallows the seeds

♡ not rlly a hc but hes vry mcdonals girl toy coded

♡ says "fuck it we ball" b4 jumping in2 a drug ring

♡ the hardest hes laughed in a while was @ a bucket falling over

♡ "masculine but in a peacock way" quotes,,,,,

♡ makes hot chocolate in a pot -refuses 2 make it in a mug it HAS 2 b done on the stove or its not the same

♡ knows how to do his make-up but doesnt know the name of the product he uses -foundation? no thats just my face paint

♡ if u ask him 2 draw, hell say "i cant even draw a straight line!"

♡ dick; *pulls out sticker sheet* *puts mlp sticker some1s face*

♡ swallowed grapes/blue berries whole as a kid bc he didnt know better -didnt chew them*

♡ dicks fav turtle is leo

♡ fixates on tinkering w/his bits & bots

♡ wears crocs -"y do u wear crocs?" -dick; kicks in their direction so the croc hits theyre face

♡ eyeballs measurements(like cooking) -until it comes 2 clothes, then its ultra mega super duper whopper popper deluxe edition focus

♡ h8s grippy socks -the textures weird + attracts halys hair(as if all socks wouldnt but-) -prolly h8s socks in gen

♡ had 2 have snorted pixie stick as a kid -i am such a believer that every kid has done this so he will 2 -as a dare @ LEAST

♡ when hes angry he plops 1 of those sweet cough drops in his mouth 2 chew on just so that he doesnt go off -any hard candy works 2 -he needs 1 of those chewie chewables

♡ biting/chewing hcs bc it needs a separate category @ this point -keeps chewing on earbuds -h8s biting his nails actually -no pen or pencil or eraser is safe -loves biting but h8s when his food is 2 chewy/has 2 bite harder than usual -has more than 1nce caught himself about 2 chew on electrical wire -bites ppl he loves 2 show appreciation/love nom -(i will defend this goddamn hc till the day i die)

♡ pizza bagels -if ur confused, come see me after class

♡ titans have basically banned horror movies from movie nights bc dick would complain about the gore/physics/traps/mo/literally anything 'inaccurate' -"dick its just a movie" "U DONT UNDERSTAND."

♡ has the most social media followers out of batfam but only posts 1nce a month(sometimes not) -its just a picture of his half eaten cereal captioned "beautiful day today"

♡ titians walked in on him doing a backbend & thought some1 murdered him(not 4 vry long though cause oviously he was alive i just like the thought of some1 like roy when he 1st joined the team walking in & doing the most dramatic gasp ever)

♡ listen, i like contortionist dick -its fun & silly

♡ takes 'cringe' as a compliment

♡ "ur mature 4 ur age!" dick; "let me fix that real quick"

♡ hair grows vry quickly

♡ h8s functioning labels(i mean we all should but yk)

♡ skilled in bingo

♡ over buys treats 4 haly -& toys

♡ insane internal clock -kinda ties in; tells ppl specific times -"meet me @ 2;37 pm" as an example

♡ comic sans enjoyer(literally stole from ttg but shhhhhh)

♡ more invested in presidential gay love affairs than WW1 or 2

♡ hes about yay high

♡ hyperfixates on languages istg

i literally could go on 4ever bc my brain is that highway in germany but i wont i regret nothing

pt 2 <- if i make 1 lol

[punk-rockrz]

Love the art you posted today of Hook tending to Scavenger. The dynamicism of the posing between them both. It's very clear how much pain Scavenger is in, conveyed through his shaking servo and his building tears (I adore the detail of him getting rust too), and I can imagine his bucket tail shuddering as Hook scrapes the rust away from him. The frustration in Hook exudes off your art, and I love how you have written how he speaks. He feels like Hook completely. In his frustration, but his care for Scavenger. (Love his roman nose too...) Also, love the teeth detail. Love Cybertronians with sharp denta, so much, especially within the Con ranks.

Just loved the piece and have been in a massive Hook brainrot since October, so seeing this piece today made my absolute day. I am eager to see more of the dynamic between the Constructicons, especially with Hook as the medic for the Cons/his brothers.

Wowerz thank you! <::) i appreciate this a whole lot for serious

Just for you (and well. Er. An excuse to talk about my thoughts) I'll give you a little look into my awesome epic mind about them...

I think for starts a lotta the stuff I've been making has slowly detached from any one continuity, just because theres so little of the combiners in each one. I mostly just kinda mash together g1 personalities and general idw lore in my brain (you could say honestly that its more of a "idw but pretending the combiners were written like actual characters" more than anything.)

I view the constructicons as having a very weird relationship. Like a secret third thing between friendship and romance (with that im also gonna mention that i completely see them all as separate beings, as in i dont see any combiner team as being related like i learned. Some people apparently do. N id just like to be very clear on that cuz i personally think incest is deeply gross and uncomfortable and the idea of my work being taken as such disturbs me 👍) theyre all simultaneously grossly lovey with each other one moment and then Bonecrusher is trying to throw long haul because he decided he was hogging the remote or something. But as far as decepticons combiners go theyre the most functional as a group. They're in it for life despite the annoyances.

Some other thoughts.ermmm...apolocheese these will be disjointed. Im not very good at being comprehensible. i think gravedigger should exist for Bonecrushers lore. Hes dead as hell. Sorry. Functionism killed his ass and Bonecrusher is radicalized from it.

There is lore to my personal designs too, mainly in the faces. None of them initially had mouths, just the mask then the grinder below it, but hook kinda convinced them all to let him upgrade them (my idea is that mouths are generally seen as better by most, but for him he just wanted to show off on them) they all had their own reasons for taking the opportunity, such as Bonecrusher thinking himself being upgraded was a "fuck you" to others and scavenger thinking hed be liked more easily by others if he had the "better" option. Scrapper was the only one to deny getting the upgrade because he genuinely doesnt see the point. Hook keeps trying to convince him but hes trying less and less as time goes on.

And scavengers rusting yaaaay :D i think he gets those often because he's not the best at remembering his own upkeep and is one who spends a particular amount of time in environments that cause it to spread exponentially quicker. Ends up meaning that hook has to spend hours scrubbing it out of his plating if not replacing entire chunks of him frequently, something that progressively annoys and slightly concerns him and it definitely does nothing good for scavengers self esteem.

Some rapid fire of hook headcanons then I'll wrap up actually, uerrhh if anyone wants to hear my thoughts more though im not opposed to questions abt my thoughts on them and combiners over all. Theyre all chilling out in my brain for the moment it seems like.

- hes skilled in most if not all creative subjects, he almost seems to view creative subjects as his territory to defend, he HAS to be the best at all of it in his mind

- he'd rather die than ever admit to it, but he adores earth fashion and drag shows. He finds them fascinating. Sometimes he's just hiding away to look at videos of drag performances or he's sneaking glances at people he thinks are dressed particularly nicely. He almost wants to take up adding everything related to making clothing to his skillset.

- he wasn't initially a medic, he only picked up the knowledge he initially had for perform progressively more complicated cosmetic procedures. Eventually he got so engrossed in it when the constructicons found themselves partaking in a full blown war, he found himself saddled with the title of medic. Luckily for him its not as unwanted as he expected, finding the work of putting someone together again as satisfying as his actual passions.

- hes also unexpectedly excellent as a medic, any poor con who ends up with him at their repairs almost expects him to rip them apart out of frustration or just sadism, but hes surprisingly one of the gentler ones the decepticons have. Its not necessarily out of care, its just that he'd rather die than mess up anything. The only bad thing anyone can say is that he doesnt see patients as anything more than an object, its easier for him to dedicate himself that way, but it makes for an odd experience for the patient.

- hes the one who least enjoys being a combiner out of all of them. Well, really its more like hes the one with the most conflicted feelings about it. He enjoys the way it gives him more notoriety and power within decepticons, but the idea of people attaching who devastator is to their perception of him makes him shudder. He finds devastator particularly stupid and overly brutish, to be fair an opinion he holds of most, but especially the combined form of him and the others.

- will not be affectionate a single bit with his gestalt unless its extremely private. He doesn't want people having that image of him

- he has issues about control, honestly, particularly related to others perception of him. He hates the idea of anybody seeing him as anything but the image he painstakingly tries to uphold of him

Ummermurm.. thats kinda all i hauve rn. If u read all of that wowie thank you ::) i hope it made sense at all. N thank you once again i real appreciate how much you liked it 🦇🤘

[carn1epretzelz]

harhar yeah im doing a syscourse guys look away ahhhh !!!

upon the topic of: Endogenics. from: a traumagenic system. huzzah. like this hasnt been done a gajillion times over. also hello moots, yes i am a system; i do not talk about it frequently bc tbh its something i prefer to mention in my circles only or in the sys help discord i help run. (very nice server btw if anyone needs a break from typical discourse-y servers feel free to reach out our server is a safe space and a mental health group !! :3c )

ANYWAYS. syscourse. endos. arg ! i pride myself on being Radically Incluse… with a small exception towards endogenics. But wait! that doesnt make you radinclus at all! and okay, you got me. i do admit, this makes me a hypocrite. theres no ifs and buts about that. if you personally wish to take that title away from me, feel free to do so, because i'd rather you make your experience online more comfortable rather than try to make excuses for me. dont make excuses for me.

my specific gripes with endogenics in particular is the enroachment on specifically traumagenic terms and spaces. in particular, i dont personally believe endo systems "aren't real" or "aren't plural"- i simply don't believe they should be using all of the same resources as trauma based systems, for the exact reason that BOTH experiences are so different that it calls for entirely different ways of management. this is not to say that all resources should be gatekept from endos btw there could very well be things that help both types of system, and there could be things that only help/are meant for an individual. support tools are for everyone; if it helps it helps! its like how able bodied people may like buying pre-sliced and shredded veggies for a salad for the sake of it being quick prep, when originally those are meant for disabled people with little to no arm/upper body strength to chop those veggies for themselves.

in all honesty, i think a System in of itself is ONLY a traumagenic thing. I only think traumagenic people can be "SYSTEMS". i think just about anyone can be PLURAL.

the way DID/OSDD comes about specifically is about how trauma at such a young age causes certain sections and parts of your brain to not function or "merge" the way it's supposed to (very scientific terms, i know). i think, if ur brain is not doing those things with no inclusion of trauma, that theres absolutely still something going on and it deserves it's own time, spaces, research, terms/phrases, and communities. hell, even its own therapy/psych specialists.

endos and traumagenics are so WIDELY different, to me personally, that i think it's incredibly hard to welcome in people that didn't experience some shape or form of trauma that caused their systems… into a space where trauma is the very root cause of other people's systems. if the space is meant for anyone and everyone, absolutely mingle! get along! hang out! share your experiences of ur human brains not functioning properly! otherwise if a space and community is dedicated to traumagenics only; its that way for a reason. traumatized people inherently may just feel uncomfortable and unsafe around people that do not have trauma relating to being a system and thats okay. people are allowed to want those spaces.

tldr: i am not necessarily anti-endo, i am pro-safe space for traumatized systems to mingle with exclusively other traumatized systems without feeling like the non-trauma based systems are enroaching on their community. i am pro-shared plural/system spaces for any and all to hang out in and find other people with the same brain dysfunction as themselves. i am pro endos getting the change to make their own spaces and terms and communities specifically for themselves that may or may not exclude other types of systems, because thats okay too !!! have ur individual spaces, i think thats awesome.

i hope that makes sense sorta??? and its probably obvious my opinions have changed over time and im still in a transitional phase of how i think. ive swung back and forth on this particular opinion multiple times now, ive been fully pro to fully anti in a VERY short amount of time and i've only started properly thinking about it a long while after i've discovered myself as a system; needed time to think about myself first before i thought about others. anyways, i learn things all the time, get new new information. yay ! sorry for the ramble buwomp :(((((