retired-magical-girl
188 posts
♡ i am 18♡ piece of she/it, lesbian girlfail♡ warning for art/content containing mature themes or themes of violence, mental health, substances etc like this isn't a totally freaky deeky kinda blog and if i draw boobs or something i'll tag, warn and put under the cut, but warning in case, this is generally an 18+ blog♡ thanks for reading please don't hesistate to message if u prefer i dni or something no issues. ♡ i post from the 32nd spam folder in my brain so warning i look back in like 5 hours and scratch my head confused honestly if that says anything♡ https://retired-magical-girl.tumblr.com/aboutme more info if u need
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Amygdala Hijack
Inspired by anxiety and panic attacks. It’s like a domino effect of mind and bodily reactions, not really possible to pinpoint where it begins as it is all connected and influencing eachother. The reality perceived is unstable.
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why must be one be inhuman in other peoples way and not allowed to be inhuman in their own way you must be constantly at the crush of the wave not the peak
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guess what i been rewartching
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scared of the stare, the lack of response, the turn of the lip pretending and begging for you to leave. the eyebrow furrows but the eye remains hyper vigilant. there is no amount of charm nor professionality that can hide it. the confusion, the slight disgust as if you are a spider in their fridge, the way they can dismiss and turn their back to stop you from existing.
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most times i feel like im sweeping myself up as i spill and act out the sin of existing, colonising canvases with wrong long thoughts on the wrong frequency. the solution is simple but the compounded ills makes it difficult and fruitless. there is always something wanting to claw out but something repulsed by being seen. when i close my eyes there is little rest as figures come and go and the noise is so bright. a nightlight helps. i need to pick myself up from the cardboard box and become clean, but it all seems pointless and my eyes burn and comes the next episode. the next layer of washed is to become a person. the channel is incomprehensible and confusing. translating is useless, this is it raw and it is exhausting and confusing to rearrange and trade words and sentences.
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the spinal cord has released its retribution and hell follows in it's plight as it takes away what is the self and the world around it as it rearranges synapses and receptors and itll do it over and over until you connect step one to step two and you are sorry
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Make no mistake. I'm a sociopath.
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A future where Jecka cuts Nicole off and Nicole realizes she doesn’t want to lose the person she came closest to caring about or something idk
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I am lowkey unfit for human interaction
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everyone be cool about my horrible vibe please
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realizing you’re built to understand but not to be understood
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