#like besides use for conformity and hierarchy or personal gain i cant see a reason why existing differently in terms of gender is an issue

[retired-magical-girl]

anyone else confused on if they fit genderfluity, have an unstable self identity, or just feel so alienated from any general image or group of a gender. i actually despise the concept existing (not people identifying as things just the precursor of it all and all the violence, self hatred, alienation etc that exists with it) because it seems to cause more people great grief than joy and is more like a tool for conformity and hierarchy at times. idk it just perplexes me outside of evolutionary biological function (not in an anti trans way at all i mean like i understand how people procreate thats it) and even then, intersex people exist so it's not like there's just this way or that way when there's always going to be a road inbetween it by nature anyways. like sometimes im just a dude, sometimes im a girl, and sometimes im nothing and it isn't even a statement (and to reduce everyones identity as a "statement" isn't quite right, yes some people do take it as an active statement but some people just work like that and some people do both or have to advocate/protect themselves against violence and oppression regardless), it's literally just how my brain comprehends itself at times and no nagging on about whatever would change it. it doesn't serve me in any way to catagorise myself as "i birth the baby", it serves people who are directly against my wishes and autonomy.

tbh this is low on the list of my own personal issues to deal with but it does perplex me, i used to get screamed at for not wearing dresses or acting like xyz but then people would be confused on why i didn't want to be associated with the label i got told i wasn't doing correctly or fit into like it's simple logic, if you're told you're shit at maths and don't enjoy the problems in the curriculum and all the conflict it creates why would you major in maths in university. some people will then be like "well maybe you're just a masculine woman" but why do i have to be forced to accept that when i genuinely don't care and i don't like being called that nor do i think of myself like that anyways. and people who INSIST you have to be a feminine man or masculine woman and not anything else don't even treat them nicely like they treat it as a fetish or oxymoron/failure to comply. there's just a top layer of what people want and expect you to be so they don't have to think too hard about the world or themselves and what benign soul sucking things people expect of them they begrudgingly carry out for the sake of saving face and avoiding shame.