#but like its weird bc like what does that mean? like it happens every so often like too much energy that feels unhinged

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[holytrickster]

also i finally finished the silm earlier and oh my god i understood narn i chin hurin so much better this time. like i know the whole thing isn't included but the fact the main parts are mentioned *after* i knew who the heck everyone in it was and where everything was happening made it so much more understandable now than when i first read it back when i was like 14 bc i went like hobbit -> lotr -> children of hurin with a lot of time in between where i forgot stuff

[librarycards]

pls ignore this is its too weird or too much labor, but i was wondering if you maybe had any tips or resources for ppl who have creative desires like writing but brain fog and fatigue tends to get in the way?

i do! it may not work for you bc people have very random/unexpected ways of dealing with this, but it's *very* common and there is hope :) [i think a lot of this is applicable across form, but i'm using "writing" here because it's what i'm familiar with]

one way is to be strategic about timing: this includes thinking about when you're least foggy/have the most energy, and/or the most "downtime" where there isn't anything in particular you need to do. many people wake up early so that they have alone time before their responsibilities. some people stay up late to write. i tend to do my daily writing (which I elucidate on below) in the evenings, around 7-10pm. whatever works, works!

relatedly: scheduling/routine is, for me, critical. i think it is for a lot of creative ppl. I write every day, in multiple ways: i keep a journal - i've done this since i was like 12, so it's as ingrained as brushing my teeth and i don't really think about it - and also work on some aspect of my current longest project [so, for the last 4 years, it's been the aforementioned second novel; for the 4ish years before that, it was Failure to Comply. i write other stuff during the daytime, of course, because writing is also my job(s). but if you're looking to establish a consistent creative practice, you don't need to be aiming for a certain hour or word count.

Instead: Aim for consistency and progress. Not perfection, not a "muse," not magic. There is no shame in making something that doesn't seem good, or that you end up deleting. in this particular instance, "perfect is the enemy of good" is 10000% true, and i think especially applicable to people who already experience external + internalized ableist ideologies on a daily basis. your art, regardless of what it is, should be a space where you get to make mistakes, change your mind, and learn new things. it should be something you can come to when you're tired, unsure, confused, scared, etc, even if it means just keysmashing and then closing your notes app for the day.

for me, having a daily practice, regardless of anything, means embracing the days where i write only one word and then despair, as well as the days i write pages. when i feel most depressed, in a very clinicized sense, i try to move from "everything i make now is going to be shitty :(" to "everything i make now is going to be shitty :)", not because i'm happy about it, but because....that's simply part of creating. everything is a bodily function. if you're not feeling good, maybe your poop will look weird. so too with writing. but you still do it. it can be mechanical. but it'll happen, and by doing it consistently, you give yourself the *opportunity* to locate insight hitherto buried, to have an idea creep up on your tiredself.

i guess in sum I'd say that the healthiest thing i ever did for my writing is something tantamount to body neutrality, which has also been an immensely positive addition to my set of frameworks for physical embodimindment. creative neutrality, i guess. this doesn't mean i don't tie my ego and personhood to work/productivity/quality. i mean, i totally do, and it sucks, but there we are. but it also means that i place that in a corner that does not touch my desire to chip away at something big, regularly. i make time every day to summon the urgency of whatever i'm working on, not because i'm proud of it at that moment, but because i want to give it another opportunity to give me something cool.

tl:dr: give yourself the gift of consistency and time, and don't be scared of making stuff that isn't good, or gets deleted, or doesn't make sense. write from wherever you want, physically, mentally, spiritually. give it the opportunity & even the expectation to happen and then work from there.

[artdcnaldson]

im so glad youre matching my freak on this (patricks sister au) because im actually so not normal about it. i havent thought about anything else all day, many more thoughts are in my head about this, i need art so badly

his restraint grows wearier every time you're on his bed in your slutty outfits making puppy eyes at him. its only gotten worse since he let it slip that he does want you, but just cant. it seems like youre in his room every day now. tiny shorts or even worse, tiny tennis skirts. the kind where he can see another one of many lacy pairs of panties every time you adjust yourself. he makes it a point to always sit at his desk, or even stand, he needs the distance.

one night hes dragging you back from a stupid frat party, one of those with a dress up theme thats really just an excuse to have the girls dress extra slutty, and oh boy did you deliver. youre not too drunk, but hes carrying you over his shoulder regardless, its just faster that way. (youre not complaining, you get to stare at his ass the whole way back to his dorm) and maybe youre acting more drunk than you are, just so he wont bring you to your own room, but he'll have to let you sleep in his.

then you're laying in his bed, surrounded by his scent, maybe even dressed in another one of his shirts and maybe just a pair of panties. watching him as he gets ready for bed (he always refuses to share the bed with you but sleeps on thr carpet on his floor instead), brushing his teeth, changing his shirt, complaining about some guy who was trying too hard to flirt with you, getting too close to you. its all too much, you really cant help it, maybe you can even blame the few shots of tequila your friends had made you take earlier that night, but your hand trails down under the sheets. you cant help but touch yourself, gently, barely even feeling it. but youre just so turned on by him, being this close to him, his possessiveness. whats a girl to do!!!!

he hears the little moan you let out, he tries so hard to ignore it. to control himself. truly hes not surprised. he keeps talking, pretending he didnt hear you. but when he turns around, its just too much. he cant help but tell you how pathetic youre being, he means for it to come out sterner, meaner, it was meant to deter you. instead he hears you moan again, so pathetic. it shouldnt egg him on, he should tell you to stop, to leave, to pull your hand out of your damn panties. he should tell you to quit being such a slut. why is it turning you on when he tells you youre being pathetic? why are you moaning louder when he says you can never have his cock? he cant help but taunt you :(((

(i can keep going, just ask lol)

GODDDDDD this au has me salivating so badly it’s crazy like this ask made me go take a lap, had to walk on my treadmill and clear my head. I feel so insane rn

Bc why IS he getting so weird and protective over you? Why is he mad that you were practically dry humping some loser from the fucking swim team that you looked like a fucking slut out there, and you should be embarrassed, honestly.

And god, he really does sound pissed about it, and you’re still pretty buzzed from the party, too, everything feels really slow and hazy and there’s an insistent throbbing need between your thighs. you’re so wet it’s soaking through the skimpy, slutty panties you were wearing.

“You should really fucking have some standards.”

Mhmm. Yeah. You should. He should totally keep telling you all about it. You sigh, slip your fingers between your thighs— all wet and sticky and sensitive. You moan, just barely, but he freezes a little. You can see the muscles in his shoulders flexing as he grips the edges of the sink. But then he’s right back to bitching at you.

“What the fuck did you think was gonna happen, huh? Did you think I’d go over there and rip you off of that dickhead? That I’d get so jealous I’d finally fuck you like you want?”

You moan, louder, and that’s when he turns. His jaw is set, clenched as he watches your hand move beneath the sheets. You’re completely unabashed as he watches you, he watches your legs spread slightly, can tell your fingers have gone from toying with your clit to being stuffed inside your pussy.

And he laughs. “God, this is really fucking pathetic, you know that, don’t you?”

You nod, whimper out a, “mhmm.” You’re looking at him through half-lidded eyes, all hazy and soft. And your hand is moving faster beneath the blankets, and god, he wants to move it so fucking badly. Wants to watch, to see how wet you are for him.

It would be so easy to just rip that blanket off— his fingers are fucking twitching with the need to. He almost does, almost loses himself in it.

“Jesus, you’re so fucking desperate,” he says, arms crossed, trying to ignore how fucking good you sound now that you’re not muffling your moans. “You think fucking yourself in my bed is going to change anything? It just makes you look like a slut. You know how embarrassed I’d be if you were my sister? You’re fucking lucky I don’t tell Patrick what you’re up to.”

You whine, pouting as you thrust your fingers deeper inside your cunt. You’re so close already, just want to cum, want him to rip off the blankets and fuck you into the mattress. “Please,” you whine.

“Please? You think I’m going to fuck up my friendship with Patrick for pussy?” He’s being so mean, you’re fucking dripping down your wrist with how soaked you are. “I’m never going to fuck you. You just need to grow up and fucking accept it.”

You cum as he watches you, thighs trembling and closing around your hand. Fingers all slick and sticky when you finally slip them from your cunt. He’s staring at you, completely indiscernible. And he laughs again. Whatever. You can go ten more rounds if he just keeps talking to you.

[kaisfruit]

Hiiii loved your first first about kai!

Could I request a one shot or headcanon about each of the ninja and how they would pleasure a fem!reader pls?

How they pleasure you | All ninja x fem!reader headcanons

a/n: omg tysm for my first ask <3 this is like,,one of the few times ive ever written nsfw so!! i hope its okay :3 also im gonna leave out lloyd cuz ik technically he's an adult but idk it's still a bit weird imo warnings: nsfw under the cut (duh),cunnilingus (cole, zane, nya) , slight size kink mention in cole's part, degradation in kai's part, inappropriate usage of elemental ability (jay), umm thats all i can think of im srry if i missed anything ^^

Cole

Ugh idec he's a big guy. is that a collective hc that the whole fandom can agree on? i think so

def uses that size to his advantage when y'all are alone together

I'm talking like MANHANDLING

only if u ask tho cuz cmon we all know he is such a caring guy he would always take your wants and boundaries into account

okay, my horrible down bad size kink out of the way-

mans has a big appetite (wink wink)

goes down on you like no other. like, he treats your pussy like it's breakfast, lunch, dinner, AND DESSERT babes

there would be no breaks with him. i cant say this enough, but he is eating you out like a man starved

overstimulation bound to happen srry i dont make the rules

he would NOT ask for anything in return

this man is the biggest giver when it comes to sex oh my lorddd

you're in charge but like he is if you know what i mean?

like he does what he knows you love, but on his own terms

ur in the bed and he's just instantly pinning you down yk using that strength of his, spreading your legs as far as the can go, and boom diving in head first

srry i could fill up like 3 posts of just cole eating you out im that passionate abt this topic

Kai

Plays with your pleasure like it's a damn toy

This man is the biggest tease ever

Though, his teasing does lean a bit towards minor body worshipping bc he's just everywhere

Marking you up with hickeys wherever he can get his damn mouth

Hands? can barely keep track of their movements. One second they're playing with your tits the next he's two fingers deep in your pussy

Let's just say he's taking his time here just to make the actual sex feel absolutely amazing on your end

But rlly it gets him going seeing you all whiny beneath him at his never ending touches

it's a win-win if you think about it

THAT DAMN MOUTH.

kai is not the guy for u if ur not down for a bit of degradation because DAMN

he has to come second place to jay in the yapping awards bc he's always saying smthn during the act

he pays attention though. listens or feels your reactions to every filthy thing he whispers to you.

absolutely ruins u for anyone else. gl w this man yall <3

Zane

He is so damn PRECISE??

Like, how does he know exactly how to touch you in that spot in order to get that reaction?

LOVES i mean like absolutely LOVES fingering you

being able to watch you come undone on just his fingers? god it is everything to him

will also add his tongue into the mix bc even tho hes a robot he cannot get enough of ur taste

just so calculated w every movement

bro made sex into a science 😭😭

tells you how good you're doing for him, how perfect you look, etc.

loves praising you bc it's the honest truth of how he feels about you

tbh 50% of the pleasure he gives u is from the pure love u can feel with every slight touch, every kiss, everything

soft dom vibes iykwim

REFUSES to even try to get himself off if he hasnt attended to you first

also an extreme giver like

he would get rid of entire body parts if it meant making u feel even better during sex

okay thats hyperbole but like

this nindroid has so much love in his robot heart for u and he needs u to KNOWWWW

Nya

A GIRL'S GIRL U ALREADY KNOW WHAT IT IS

she has all of these boys BEAT when it comes to pleasuring u bc of her same gender advantage

her head will stay in between your legs until you are absolutely SCREAMING her name

that fact fills her with immense amounts of pride btw

i see her as giving u a good mix of gentle and rough touches that like come together to make the most intense feeling ever??? if that makes sense

she's so good w her mouth like,,,everywhere

her favorite place to have her mouth is on ur pussy ofc, but she could also give a vampire a run for their money with how attached to ur neck she is

marks litter your neck

she's so good at finding that one little sweet spot that makes your body squirm

tends to multitask as well

like if she's currently a knuckle deep in your hole then you can also probably find her mouth licking and sucking at one of your nipples

everything she does to you is just so confusing in the best way possible

Jay

everything with him is just so fast-paced

he barely gives you any time to catch your breath in between anything

just one thing after another with jay

it mostly comes from his overzealous nature

your body makes him feel like a kid in a candy store im not even gonna lie. there's so much he could be doing he doesn't even know where to start

constantly talking. what did you expect from the motormouth himself?

half of it's mumbles of how gorgeous or how breathtaking you are and the other half is just downright filthy

honestly that second part would be such a turn on cuz u wouldn't have expected it from jay

the first time he used his element on you it was an accident

he didn't even realized it happened at first. he felt you jolt at the sensation and his first instinct was to apologize instantly, but he never even had a chance as he felt how you clenched down on his fingers and the moan u let out would forever be ingrained in his brain

from that point on, he's constantly looking for the best opportunity to let the smallest current just give a little tingle to your skin

jay really knows how to keep things interesting <3

[ganondoodle]

you know, i had a totk thought (uh oh)

soemthign thats really bothering me about the whole "actually, ganondorf didnt like the guy appearing out of nowhere marrying a hylian and just saying yep das our kingdom now and we can mine it barren under your nose and also i got laserbeam pebbles that i totally wont ever use on anyone come join me or die just bc of all of that but mainly bc the guy brought some weird tech with him that he dont like" - thing is that ......... we see almost not a single tech thing in the past (and for that matter see nothing of the oh so perfect and peaceful paradise hyrule was before big evil desert man didnt want to join our paradise- like what is the point about making the whole point of the game be -we need to restore hyrule to this paradise it once was- when you dont even see it or get to care about anything of it)

it might sound like a weird hangup but no really, the most we see is like two servant constructs, thats it, when they 'prepare for war' im pretty sure all you see is some lightly dressed ( ... is it just me or does their whole get up look alot like native american/other indingenous people too ... i still dont know how to feel about that- kinda adjacent to some of the sonau armor, the battery one i think??, also having that look...) hylians with spears, where the heck is all that tech?? is it implied to be all down in the mines hollowing out the underground (for no real reason either bc .... theres only two sonau left and no one else seems to want use nor need the tech otherwise there should have been more traces or soemthing left of it -unless it all just magically appeared out of nowhere in mostly prime condition while all shiekah tech jsut vaporized for bs non reasons just for it to be in tha game but oh dont you see its always been there lmao- so whats the point really????)

or up in the sky as most battle constructs are and they cant get them down in time bc *gestures vaguely*

or is it intentionally kept out of view bc idk seeing an army of robots on raurus side he can send out on a whim might not make him look as oh so good and perfect as they want him to look when he already got laserbeam pebbles (most of which hes been hoarding until ONE falls into hands not under his control) ?? like it just ... feels weird?? so many battle constructs that can even be a threat to link are jsut fully functioning strolling around in the present still, why wouldnt you want to use any of them to battle gan and if they DID why wouldnt you show that (no the 3 second unicorn cutscene doesnt count bc its just .. gan and his monsters isnt it) ?? (also ... why isnt there a big like battle ground , like fine you dont have to animate an army of monsters and robots clashing but... wouldnt it be cool to have you discover a giant flat plain in the underground (that magically got put under ground like gan just decided to stroll down there to get sealed lol) and its the only mostly empty field in the game littered with thousands of monster bones and dead constructs intermingled?? just to give it all a bit of weight?? evidence that it happened?? cool ass discovery????)

(also also i cannot let go of ganondorf apparently being sooooo anti tech but then clamgan uses the shiekah stuff??? shouldnt he also be against that then or is that suddendly fine bc- oh woops sorry, forgot clamgan is actually just something, not connected to gan at all actually, i mean why else would miasma turn into malice only to turn into miasma again haha none of that is connected actually what is a calamity anyway? also im sorry to bring this up again but i just cannot let go of the ppl in the present being so obsessed with using sonau tech in every part of their life now- they just lived through an apocalypse of a barely understood strange tech but CLEARLY this other even less understood strang tech is not dangerous at all lets make CARS OUT OF IT and what theres no danger in miasma and that tech existing at the same time LIKE SOMETHING ELSE BEFORE THAT IDK SEEMS LIKE A BAD COMBO--- oh sorry forgot that ceased to exist in both the world and peoples minds for *gestures vaguely* plot reasons- why why why are monsters mining the sonanium?? they dont even work with the yiga no that is also completely disconnected we dont wanna draw and interesting connections after all- whats the point if it means nothing but to be a loot box for the player-- actually, so much of totk is just a so built around throwing you into a box of toys with no substance to it- listen i know games are kinda like toys but if it doesnt make sense and offers you nothing interesting to think about even slightly whAT IS THE POINT)

[fasolabean]

warninggg this is a long one ,,,

(Okay so I started writing this uhhh vent before more posts on the n//fts appeared later so plz keep that in mind hah)

So I haven’t been too active on here for the past month – a bit personal start, but I’ve moved to a different country whooo!!!! (its terrifying) (my brains been involved in fandom stuff as usual but physically I wasn’t lmao).

But I wanted to talk ab the n//ft (censoring bc idk ab bots here) thing bc while some people on here provided some great context and threads, most of the talk has happened on twitter. So like. Since it was first confirmed what the raffle thing was I was veryyyy disappointed, especially bc K has made fun of this very thing on stage previously. And like yea, the nature of what hes doing is different than the n//ft crypt0 scams, since the cost of the paywalled content is set and not fluid and the raffle thing was free to enter, and I know there have been threads about the website not being the worst on twitter (link) (edit: now here on tumblr too). But still man. Both of these could’ve been done on either an independent website or through stuff like youtube members or patreon. Or hell, even just on the merch store? Like buy a promo code that buys you access to the material?

Also like I get that this was probably a contract that would be rly hard if not impossible to terminate. STILL though, I wish we just got an even short thing like “hi sorry I wasn’t aware this is gonna be a one time thing we’re not doing it again”. I don’t mind extra content being paywalled personally, I know some people do, but I just really wish it wasn’t don’t with that technology. And yes, I also now know it’s a safer way to handle shit like that but I just cant see this excuse being used for commercial use? Like maybe I can see why I could be made to use it for like idk an important document, but a raffle ticket? Nah

I also, ugh. Felt weird about mikke in the team since the winter. This whole thing seems to be – at least to a large extent – either done or influenced by him, judging by even the fact that the europass thingy webpage has oy photomikke marked (no im not buying it but i did look around curiosity was stronger). Also the previous thing that had made me go hmmm about käärijä as a brand was the bnb, which now seems to be ran entirely by mikke and his wife. Like stick to your photos man? That being said tho, Jere IS an adult and he IS the face of this brand. If he doesn’t think hes qualified to make business decisions all by himself (which I get, this shit is hard), nothing is stopping him really from getting a professional to help him with those things. And if there IS something stopping him then hey man I think you should go to the press with that lol. From any interviews ive seen or read, you can feel he feels this responsibility to keep his friends and family that initially helped him afloat. But I wish he understood that not letting people who in the end are not professional about business and PR and having them stick to their own thing does not have to mean cutting them off.

But now I just wanna share a thought that to some might seem like me defending him – which, in case you didn’t get I am very much not lmao. The thing is, im really glad the fandom is able to call him out on a shitty thing – like a bad baaad business decision. You can like somebody’s art, hell you can even like the public person they are, while not agreeing with everything what they do. What annoys me though, is that apart of the kä fandom, he is also often talked about (usually negatively) in the wider esc fandom. Over the past week I’ve seen multiple threads on twitter from people that rarely ever mention him about this. That would’ve been like, not that much of a deal (though sometimes it really got… engagement bait-y) but the amount of bodyshaming and shaming of his fans that comes up with every valid criticism is making me wanna pull my hair out.

Especially cause he’s neither the first finnish esc-related artist to do that (Robin and Cyan Kicks are mentioned on the kollekt website) nor is he the first esc artist of his influence to do it either. Last year Loreen and Alessandra have released n//fts last year, and Loreen did a very similar raffle a couple months ago. Now I wanna be very clear: I don’t want this to be like. Cancelling these people, that would be so hypocritical of me. I also don’t want this to be like a fandom war like oh youre mad he did xyz?? Well THIS and THIS person did THAT!!1! I’m just merely annoyed that these people doing essentially the same thing went with no echo at all, but now I’ve seen us (the fandom) be literally called the r slur and the most vile things being said about jere and, for some reason, his appearance???

Idk man. I really try to  make it clear im not trying to excuse his decisions and I think being angry and/or disappointed at him is absolutely understandable. Im just angry that every single time he fucks up, every single time he makes a mistake, my timeline is filled with a wave of people rejoicing in it. I know he’s a controversial figure, he’s been one since day one, but I just wish he’s gotten the same amount of shit his peers do for the same actions? And this happens every time, and each time im like “well ig I can see why hes so bad when it comes to criticism”. Because imagine doing a thing that your peers have done with no/minimal criticism and then the moment you try it out you get people calling your fans slurs and commenting how stupid you are. Like ngl id also think any criticism was hate lmao.

Again I wanna be very VERY clear im very critical ab what he chose to do. I wish he took some responsibility – and hope he maybe does, at some point in the future. This year has been a whole lot of bad business decisions for the käärijä brand in my eyes, and I hope he can actually see where its gone wrong and do something about it, both for his and our sake. I am also happy to see fellow fans who are able to call out their fave. But man I am TIRED of him just getting all the shit (from people who very visibly fans are not)?? And now I have the proof that it is comparably more than other people and not just my bias towards him because wdym there’s been at least 4 esc artists, 2 of which more famous than him, and 2 umk artists doing exactly the same thing with almost no echo??

TLDR (thishasover1kwordsfuckshit); I wish he did better, simply. I kinda cling to some hope that maybe hey finally this time he will see that criticism can be constructive. I think this is still a level of fucking up that you can like, come back from. Pity it’s connected to the eurotour since kinda souring my excitement ab my first concert in a new country a bit :(

[f1nalboys]

thinking about priest!sinclair brothers...

warning for priest fuckery (obviously), perverting the catholic faith (my bad), corrupting priests, being corrupted by priests, sacreligious shit, spiritual bdsm of sorts, and all the weird icky stuff that comes with me talking about fucking priests. you know. also warning bc i know fuck all about the actual ins and outs of priesthood so... dont be on my dick please <3

priest!lester is the priest you accidentally corrupt. youre in the confessional and youre spilling your sins and hes on the other side of the lattice biting at his lip trying not to imagine all the filthy things you talk about happening to him. you talk about your crush on a priest there, how you touch yourself to the thought of him sometimes, how you know its wrong but you just cant help but work yourself over to the thought of this holy man fucking you until it hurt and lester cums in his pants, his hand over his mouth to keep quiet. he had already been questioning his faith but now he knows hes in the right path; the two of you need each other. you need to be cleansed and he does too, and he knows that together you both will find the light and do just that even if there are some bumps along the way.

priest!vincent is the priest that you are corrupting without even meaning to. he knows what his supposed goal is but then he meets you and leading you to gods light is the last thing on his mind. he wants you. he wants to worship you, not God. he wants to get down on his knees in front of you, look up into your patient and kind eyes, and admit all his transgressions. he is willing to take whatever punishment you give him because he knows salvation lies inbetween your legs and if he holds on just a little longer, if he speaks to you softly, if his touches are soft and quick, you'd be willing to give him that. you'd be willing to allow him to touch you and to worship you and to treat you like a god if he asked sweetly. you might think hes attentive to the rest of the congregation but he isn't. he could close his eyes and pick you out from your scent alone and thats how he knows that he was meant to be your worshipper, your devotee.

priest!bo is the priest that knows hes corrupting you and he loves it. he knows youre a lost member of the flock, that when you came to his small and private office to ask him to speak to you that you were looking to be lead back into the light of gods embrace. he knows that. but he doesnt care. what he cares about is how sweet and innocent you look and how he wants to crush that under his boot. so he tells you that the only way for god to forgive you, really forgive you, is if you listen to every word bo tells you. even when its scary, even when its confusing, even when its innapropriate. when bo tells you to kneel in front of him hes doing it to set you on the right path. when he tells you to take his cock hes doing it to cleanse you from the inside out. when he tells you that you'll have to come back again and again and again until you begin to crave him when youre not there hes doing it because he knows its the only way for god to forgive you. and eventually, one faithful night, he'll get you to admit that you think of him as god and he'll smile, lean down with his hand tilting your head up, and he'll tell you that he is god and that youre the first member of his congregation.

[thatdeadaquarius]

Genshin Sagau (?) Isekai Brainrot - Language

I've seen like ONE small kinda related Genshin Sagau/isekai idea for this but I wanted more of it so BAD

It’s not the most interesting thing in the world, it’s about our modern vernacular vs. Teyvat's flowery speech

Pls feel free to expand on or add to this pLEASE TAG ME IF U DO IM STARVING OUT HERE :)))

So I saw someone write like one sentence abt this (can’t remember who :( sorry I’ll update if I find them ) or like a brutally honest version??

But I also took inspo from how fucking wordy and long conversations that are in Genshin, even with ppl like Xiao (the rude boy that he is) or even Tighnari who gets to the point pretty quickly

It goes smth like:

So, all of Teyvet, (esp ppl like Zhongli 💀 u know the ones) talk,, flowery.

Like, the whole Pride and Prejudice style speaking, euphemisms, metaphors, for some characters (or Npcs) its full on POETRY. 

Lookin’ at you Kazuha.

.

And going off of any variation of you being the Creator, (or otherwise an older mythical being?), they could have this thing where the older a deity/mythical thingy is, the simpler the speech. 

Kinda makes sense to them y’know? The older beings are serious, commanding, intimidating

And nothing says "I'm ancient as fuck and powerful as fuck" like simple blunt speech.

And being closer to the literal creation of the world, language would understandably be less complex (I’m assuming it’s the same as in human cultures in our world's history)

Like literally look at our fantasy typical stories, plenty of them have a dragon or ancient god that speaks in extremes, like so flowery its a metaphor, or so bluntly its startling (ie, "Be not afraid." "I am all powerful." etc etc)

And so, ancient powerful being = direct/blunt speech

..

…

...Y'know,, almost like our modern vernacular.

Like, part of some of our modern day comedy is purely based on a sentence being delivered bluntly for impact

Hell our ads and videos and content in general we always want to get to the point, to say things simply

So with this in mind, even if you try to deny being the Creator, they might still think you are, or at least a more minor ancient deity/creature

 .

(like the Seven Sovereigns/Phanes/Shades/etc. for example would sound eerily modern or at least easy for you to understand bc of this trait lol)

(Also I'm just assuming u know Genshin lore enough to know what I meant by that ^)

____

So, I love the AU where you just,, hitch a ride with the traveler like Paimon bc u start at the "beginning of the game",

And with every person you meet, you're like, "Ok, no, I promise this is just how my country/world speaks, it's not like that, I'm not some ancient deity…" 

And They're all like 🤨🤨🤨 "Well, fine traveler and companions, why does your speech sound so simplistic and sharp? Surely, you do not expect me to truly believe you.."

You: "Please I just talk like this, I'm a regular human."

Them: "Alright, if it is as you say,, you wish to not experience being "known" yes? Fear not, I will keep your secrets close to my chest."

You: "No, for the last time, that's not-" 

.

And it just keeps happening, lol

.

(srry I tried my best at emulate Genshin language + flowery speech idk how to do it)

.

Like maybe you would just sound weird or like a foreigner speaking y’know in simpler sentences bc they don't know the language as well as native speakers, at least that could be how you sound to NPCs and ppl who don’t know abt simpler speech meaning

.

...But the Adepti? Zhongli?? Barbatos maybe??? Even the Aranara??? Those who are old enough to maybe have heard how older beings speak or at least have knowledge of how they should speak/sound??

You couldn’t have predicted how shocked their faces were the second you opened you’re mouth… 

Sumeru scholars would freak tf out i stg, as soon as you meet Haypasia, she's already losing it, first the Irminsul progress, now this ancient being/Creator?? Girlie thinks its a sign lmao

.

(I’m an Aether lover, and also bc I think Lumine looks badass as Abyss ruler, so I’m gonna go with Aether for traveler sorry Lumine mains love yall T-T)

.

You, and Aether being equally confused at first pLEASE 😭 

lets say he speaks a little more fluffy than you at least, after all I’m assuming bc of the outfit that he’s from a fantasy-like place, and his replies can be a little fluffy like Teyvat’s residents, so he kinda fits in, kinda like everybody assumes he's just from another country when he gets to a new nation (at least that’s what I think happens??)

.

Like after (maybe Diluc?) Lisa, Kaeya, Venti, and Jean (who I think would all be knowledgeable, thru diff means, about this enough to maybe recognize the simpler speech = ancient god thing)

ALL reacted shocked as hell at hearing you talk, and would probably explain (or Paimon before then?) in that infuriatingly roundabout way, that you would usually skip a couple dialogue boxes just to avoid bc yOU ALREADY GOT THE POINT or alternatively WHATS THE POINT HERE?? JUST SAY IT, WHATS THE COMMISSION/QUEST FOR/WHAT DO I DO??

(Those blue highlights be savin my impatient life, and i actually like lore stuff 💀)

.

Oh that’s also another frustration. For you.

.

It would drive me crazy if I had to wait like,, 2-3 minutes for ppl to explain what they ate for dinner or sm shit

Like, now imagine that’s everyone, about everything.

You don’t know how anything gets done in battles or wars, like you need faster communication for that right??💀

.

Anyway, you, Aether and Paimon decide you just gotta not talk when you first meet people or like,, make sure you're gonna be around that person for a while so you don’t have to possibly get someone over the shock of your speech every time you guys talk to people 😭 that'd be so miserable I can already tell,,

Like at first, every convo ya’ll have had with people who recognize that direct speech trait as a thing, would take at least 10 minutes to finish talking about it/being shocked,,

It got so old so fast.

.

(Like I already can’t communicate that good with ppl irl bc I misunderstand them, or they do me, or they just dont get what I mean, and as my friends put it, which I think would fit here for any language shenanigans we go thru in Teyvat, "A Shakespearean level of misunderstanding, hilarious but such a downward spiral to watch, it just gets more and more ridiculous as it goes on...")

.

On another note, making fun of someone would be so fucking funny,

I’d like to give myself the benefit of the doubt that many characters, after getting used to your speech, would generally understand you (even if they always notice it, like an accent) and would actually rlly love hearing insults or even just generally how you would put things

(like maybe treating this almost like those vids of ppl with non-native english speaknig relatives/parents and its the most hilarious thing to watch them, usually get pissed 😭, at their kid, if u dont know what I mean look up on tiktok or smth)

And You just come off like those insults where you dont even use cuss words, you just like, drag queen read them into never showing their face again, and you did it in so few words!! 

They're amazed and oh, 

you've become the John Mulaney of Teyvat 

(Bad examples include:

Fontaine inventor: "...And I shall call my invention, crocks!"

You: "I wouldn't even be cremated in those." ) 

*Aether crying laughing in the background bc he never knows what you’re gonna say next, and Paimon's jaw dropped so hard

JFC this post is so long sorry, I probably will spam with a Part 2 but let me know if you’re interested in hearing more anyway!!

Thanks for reading this rambling!!

Or send in asks abt this 👀

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[drdemonprince]

woof. your recent posts really resonate with me especially now that im making more gay and trans friends, im meeting so many cool nonmonogamous trans people that seem to have casual sex with basically all their nonmonogamous trans friends and like. its almost giving me a complex where if i think someone is cool and want to be friends with them, even if im not attracted to them, i have a perception that the only way to befriend them is to pursue them sexually. or that if they dont wanna fuck me when they fuck all their other trans friends that means there's something wrong with me (again even if i don't particularly want to fuck them!)... i love being trans and poly, and i love having more trans and poly people in my life, but sometimes i think about this one reddit comment where a dude said he noticed his gay friend had way more fun at straight bars than gay bars bc at straight bars he wasn't worrying about his appearance/body image/validation/sexual prospects

yeah honestly i get this so much and it's a very dismaying swirl of emotions to have. i don't like fucking friends. at all. it actively makes me feel unsafe and like i'm only useful to someone insofar as i'm satisfying a desire for them. it makes me feel more disposable. plus im insanely jealous if i have an actual emotional connection with someone i'm fucking so i wouldn't do well in a whole poly queer mish mosh of dear devoted friends who also sometimes bang. i would be plotting the downfall of the people i was most primed to view as a threat and sowing discord between people and shit. not good.

i also think it is a little fucking concerning when people only date/have sex as their sole way to make friends, and are only friends with people they want to fuck. this tends to create a very homogenous friend group that is heavily restricted based on desirability politics. it's also just really objectifying and unsustainable.

now i must say!! this is very much in the minority of poly people -- poly people are generally fucking AMAZING at being friends because even as just their buddy they treat hanging out with the same degree of intention and care as they would going on a date. they can hang! they want to go out and do things! they're more practiced in building a new intimacy of *any* kind than most monogamous people are.

it's just that there are some weird culty up their own ass bad boundaried polycules out there, in the same way there are abusive, codependent, jealous, miserable fucking monog couples.

but even tho most queer and poly people are more ascended than that, yeah, there is a weird unsettling constant self-evaluation that can happen in spaces where fucking almost anybody is theoretically on the table. some of that is a problem in how people treat one another, and some of that is just insecurity in between your own ears.

i get it fully. im hyper conscious of myself and how i imagine im being perceived and how people are seeing me when im out in queer spaces. and most of it is me being fully insane and making myself miserable based on nothing. because literally who cares who is attracted to me in that space and who isn't??? what matters is what i want in that moment, and my behavior, which i have control over. i should be able to just float around smiling at people and dancing and chit chatting and if someone is feeling my energy and we can talk, great, if they try to make it sexual when i dont want it to, i can just walk away. like it fully does not need to be that deep.

but it's a hard internal hurdle to overcome and every time someone hits on you, ignores you, misreads your identity, etc it can be used by your mind as fodder for The Narratives and The Insecurities and make things worse and it really has to be an intentional practice to not do that to yourself.

if you can bounce along carelessly in the straight club because you're not worrying about how people see you, you can bounce along carelessly in the queer club and not worry about how people see you. literally treat queer people the same way you'd treat straight people who seem perfectly fine but are not your problem and not a focus for you. you can stop trying to mind read the intentions of every queer person and stop sizing yourself up in their eyes and not worrying about who is fucking who and who is in love with who and who is secretly jealous but pretending not to be. and just. hang out. and feel things out. and exist in your own body and pay attention to what interests you and what you are experiencing rather than how they are experiencing you.

i say this as a reminder to myself!!

[familyagrestefanblog]

You know what's so sad about how badly Ladynoir got nuked that it actually turns around to be funny again?

Not only did Marinette telling Chat Noir that she'll never abandon him loose all meaning in season 5 because she left after being told "no" by him once (and she already wanted to leave before Plagg initiated his plan:

I know, its almost like the show is going out of its way to nuke Ladynoir) and proceeded to not think about making sure it's at least Scarabella again who Chat Noir will be meeting after last episode to try and prevent the same "new Ladybug" disaster she said she was sorry for from happening again. And who has to tell him the bad news that this time Ladybug left for good and that it was him saying "no" that caused it.

So exactly all the problems with Hack-San again just for real and WORSE, and even the fear he was talking about at the end - that one day it wouldn't be her and he'll never see her again.

It is incredibly difficult for me to be upset with Adrien for leaving bc of all this. Even if I want to. Marinette's side is just so much worse again

But, no. That's not it!

Even the one and only tini-tiny thing she actually DID manage to remember him for while she threw the darkest red-alert situation at him in "Hack-San", it still ended up ringing pretty much hollow by the end of season 5.

I swear, not a single Ladynoir excuse for Marinette in "Hack-San" is in any way holding up. It's insane.

Cause not ONCE in all of season 4 and 5 does Marinette as Ladybug laugh at anything Chat Noir says. She straight up acknowledged it towards Alya that it makes him happy and she seriously never once does.

That is... genuinely sad. Not sad as in pathetic, just deeply saddening.

And even the few times when civilian Marinette laughs with Chat Noir, I can't remember it ever being at his jokes. It happens when other civilians are bothered by them in the cinema in "Glaciator 2" and in "Elation" when she's having fun at the date in general and later when Adrien tries to be silly while explaining something and then Marinette laughs at Chat being frustrated at himself for not being able to put what he wants to say into words.

But all of these cases are not her laughing at his jokes the way she literally said she knows makes him happy. So she's still not doing it.

Wait, no. When Marichat get the ice cream in "Elation". At least thats a moment where Marinette actively laughs at a joke Chat made. Although, she revealed in "Hack-San" that she would do so, too, even if she didn't think it's funny at all and that unfortunately does leave a very sour taste in my mouth:

Person B being the only one who genuinely laughs at person A's jokes is such a popular trope for a reason and it stings knowing that even that doesn't truly apply here.

The trope was ironically recycled into Adrien thinking Marinette's behavior is funny which he then in season 5 got shamed for by the narrative when he then found out that he was laughing at her trauma responses and he beats himself up for it (what a weird writing decision, honestly)

But Marinette as Ladybug for some reason just continued to be written to not laugh to make Chat Noir happy (even when she was oh so in love with him in the beginning of season 5) and that puts the genuineness of the rare times she does into question bc Marinette is apparently just willing to fake it every blue moon.

But I guess, credit where credit is due. She did indeed do the thing she said she knows makes Chat Noir happy ONE TIME in 52 episodes. Only as civilian, though. And mind you, she left the next episode and previously said that her laughing doesn't mean she actually thinks he's funny.

But one questionable time is better than non, right ?

[spookykoolkat]

the red j.m. | chapter four

CHAPTER FOUR: NO GOOD

series masterlist | main masterlist |

previous chapter | next chapter

pairings: older!joel miller x plus sized!younger!reader

chapter summary: you've been in jackson for a month now and things are still a little rough. you haven't found the right crowd to fit into yet, and thought maybe you might have to settle for the family of four you already know, until you meet your patrol partner, tyler. unfortunately, joel doesn't seem to like the idea of you with any other man but him.

warnings: 18+ age gap (joel is 57, reader is turning 26), inappropriate thoughts, sexual language, teasing, touching, slight jealous!joel, x-rated descriptions, crude language, perv!joel, creepy!joel, mean joel not too mean tho, MDNI!!!

wc: 6.2k

na: HI! thank you for alllll of the love oh my god my little gothic heart is so full i love you guys!!! i hope this series is everything and more to you guys bc i love this so much! hopefully as chapters go by, i get better in my writing and hope everyone enjoys it! i appreciate all of your kind words and interactions with me and making me feel welcome since i am new to writing on tumblr and kind of took a six year break from writing oneshots/fanfictions LOL. anyways please enjoy this chapter things are g3tting a little hot and heavy :P I CANT WAITT i hope that my writing is cathartic for my big girls we do not get enough representation for us in stories and writings!please enjoy! smut coming soon fr fr LMFAOO

i appreciate all reblogs, likes and comments feel free to do any one of those things or ALL! if u think its deserved :P

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DECEMBER 21ST, 2024

YOU

you’ve been in jackson for a month now. you couldn’t believe it, you truly had every doubt about staying even a week. but, it’s probably the calmest life you’ve lived in a very long time. you enjoyed it and you truly felt you’d made the right decision, it didn’t take much convincing either. but, you still haven’t unpacked the items maria gave you and continues to give you. just in case. 

the neighbors are learning your name, as you are with them, and they actually care. as much as you let them. you felt quite bad because you found yourself still not clicking with anyone around you. and you’ve tried. the people your age find you boring, almost a dark cloud over them, bursting their bubbles. younger kids only approach you because of ellie, asking for advice on stance and grip. the older group, around tommy and joel’s age, finds you a bit much. 

your language, your lack of social awareness–sometimes it gets embarrassing. saying something old heads wouldn’t necessarily like, being too blunt and a little explicit. joel figured you should hang around your age group, yet you didn’t really click in with the rest. he was far from embarrassed being around you, you just said the things he was thinking out loud.

you only found yourself clicking with joel. in many ways, as much as he let you. he was standoffish most of the time, barely cracking a smile at your weird habits and the noises you make when you’re passed out on the couch. he refused to let you break him, this wall that he had up to survive. do not get attached. he thought, maybe the less he knew you the less it’d hurt to have anything happen to you. but it seems even as little as he does know you, he’s still feeling that tug at his heart laying his eyes on you. 

it was too late. whoops.

joel doesn’t want to address that feeling, and he doesn’t want to call it as it is. he actually cares about you. he had no choice but to call it that, because why else would he lie to you about finding cassettes in the house?— so that you didn’t know what he really did to get you whatever he could get his hands on. 

he didn’t want you to know that he actually smuggled in goods that he and his family needed, and while bribing, stealing, trading and selling for necessities, he made it a mission to find at least one cassette tape for you. he didn’t know you actually saw him red handed, and you still didn’t know where those boxes were coming from. he figured if you knew, you’d bring it up. 

he made it his mission for two whole weeks, after your first week of staying with him, and finally got his hands on some actual music for you. joel hadn’t made efforts like this in a long time, and he knew that denying the fact that he at least cared for you would mean he was being delusional. 

but he was always worried about you. you were his object of affection and he craved to find a way to get you out of his mind. he actually felt guilty for thinking about you in ways you’ve probably never been before, he felt guilty for wanting nothing but to make you feel good—however that was. 

you doubted it strongly of course, shaking the feeling off as your own delusion and insanity, but you always hoped. hoped that maybe his generosity and southern hospitality was actually him caring about you in a different way, but he was a grown man. you tried to off yourself in front of him–you were insane to think he’d even look at you as anything but a liability, he hardly looked your way as it was. 

at least you thought so.

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joel paid attention to every single thing he sees and hears. he doesn’t show it, he doesn’t acknowledge it—all he does is observe. some more than others. 

you didn’t talk to him unless he talked to you, you kept your distance like he wanted, but somehow he knew everything that was going on. he didn’t have to talk to you to know you, and that’s what he was ashamed of. he watched you. 

he was a creep, he felt like someone who was abnormal and making things weirder than they had to be. he was studying you and you didn’t even know. he picked up on what made you smile, which cassettes you listened to the most, which just so happened to be the ones he was ‘holding on to.’ and in the midst of observing you, he checked you out any time he got. 

when you weren’t looking mostly, but even sometimes when you were talking to him about something not so important. he realized that if you did see that his eyes wandered over you, you were probably gaslighting yourself into thinking he wasn’t doing exactly what you thought he was doing. he loved your body. and he loved the way you dressed your body, the way the shirts you wore always clung to your heavy breasts, how even when you dressed in baggy clothes he still wanted to ruin you like that. 

sick. you’re a sick old pervert, ya kno’ that? he knew. what joel didn’t know is why you made him feel this way, why you drove him to do the things that he does for you. why he acted feral every time you bent over, why he would storm out of the room when you got on your hands and knees to pick something you dropped up off the floor. 

but he also studied you because he wanted to make sure you weren’t feeling how you felt the night you woke up in jackson, to make sure you weren’t feeling depressed or like you didn’t want to be here anymore. just talk to her fucker. he couldn’t. he would never admit it, but he’s eavesdropped near ellie’s garage to hear conversations between the two girls. 

“ellie, i mean it, you cannot tell joel.” you hushed as you glanced towards the door, back to ellie. 

she scoffed. “like i’d tell him, lay it on me.” you noticed the irritation in her eyes when you brought up joel, asking yourself if maybe there was something that wasn’t being said. you just put a pin in it. 

“okay. one, i’m finally allowed a gun and i got my patrol route.” you cheered in a hush and joel almost pressed his ear into the door. 

ellie rolled her eyes, grabbing the piece of paper. “no fucking fair. good looks, telling me bad news first. what’s two?” she joked. 

“i met my patrol partner. his name’s uh, tyler? i think. yeah,” you looked down and nodded, assuring yourself. joel made it a note to tell ellie how thin her walls were, not right now though. 

“tyler… tyler m?” joel thought of every man in this town named tyler with the letter M as his last name. instantly made a mental list of five tylers. 

“i don’t know. but he asked me for a drink. tonight, he was gonna meet me here but i told him i’d meet him there. lesson number 5, always have a way to leave anywhere you are if you need to.” you said. you figured it’d be best to teach her as much as you could, telling her things she needed to hear to survive. 

that’s how joel knew immediately what was happening when he heard your soft singing from your cracked door. you were getting ready for him. he actually hated it. he couldn’t remember the last time he felt that heat in his chest, biting the tongue—it wasn’t until his face turned down into the old familiar feeling, what he recognized as jealousy. 

who was he to be jealous? for what? it was a saturday night, most people were off of work, and everyone was settling in the town’s circle to drink and watch movies. everyone but joel. he was now classified as a bitter old man, with a dark whiskey in his glass. maybe now a bitter, creepy old man as he knocks slightly on the cracked door and you invite him in. 

you were fixing the laces on your shoes, simple black converse, and his eyes made his way up from there to your face. a deep v neck shirt that looked like a second skin from how tight it was, and faded black jeans with tiny holes from being lived in that hugged the fat of your thighs. he never noticed the gold dainty necklace that sat in the middle of your chest, but it sits right between the curves of your breasts. were they always that big? he felt like a kid, ogling and asking stupid questions.  

“hellooo? joel?” you called to him as you rested your palms on the width of your thighs. he saw your lips, coated in a sheen and your hair split down the middle instead of being in a pony tail or bun. creepy old man. you’re being creepy joel!!! he shook his head. 

“headin’ to the circle?” he asked. if he were close enough you could smell the whiskey on his breath. 

“yeah i-,” you thought for a minute. joel didn’t trust the next person as much as you did. you saw his protectiveness through ellie, you felt maybe he’d feel the same for you. even if you were a bit delusional. 

“-was gonna catch a movie with ellie, most likely be back around 12.” you said as you glanced at the clock, 9:32. 

“‘s that right?” he said suggestively, like he knew something you didn’t. he did. 

“yeah. that’s right,” you stood firm, even shot him a dirty look. “why don’t you enjoy the night, joel. you got the house to yourself, ain’t that what you’ve been mopin’ around for?” you stood up and grabbed your gun to put in your waistband behind your shirt, sticking a knife in your high top converse and one in your jean pocket. 

maybe you got too defensive, but you were right in a way. he looked miserable around the house, storming in just to grab a beer and lock himself in the library or room. 

“that’s right,” he was just smug. so smug you couldn’t stand it, you wanted to slap him. 

“whatever joel,” you wanted to be right so bad. you wanted to prove to even yourself that you were right. but neither of you were buying into this act you played, and you knew it. he was making you nervous with his stare, the hard shell you had was practically ripped off of you when he grabbed your wrist before you left the room. he held you, shoulder to shoulder and looked at your face, down your neck and to your chest. 

“if you need anythin’, you let me know darlin’.” darlin’? it was so foreign to you, so alien that you didn’t even have time to process it before your mouth moved to say a small alright and taking your arm from his grip. when you did, it was cold and you could feel the print of his hand around your wrist down the stairs. 

it was so different, something that leaked off of his words when he spoke to you. and you wanted to hear more of it, explore that with him. 

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before you could psych yourself out of going through the bar’s doors, you heard someone call for your name and turned your head to the left to see tyler, walking towards you with a big grin on his face. tyler was just two years older than you, someone you met while you were in combat and patrol classes, and didn’t acknowledge until he approached you, re-introducing himself as your partner for the first two weeks. you couldn’t be cold and shoo him away, you just smiled and introduced yourself, really looking at him. 

he was not joel miller. tyler’s skin wasn’t as tan as joel’s but he wasn’t pale, and he was actually a bit lanky even under the thick coats he layered. you noticed that his chest wasn’t as broad and strong as joel’s, hell his arms were smaller than yours. he was a skinny tall thing, while you were a bit short and thick everywhere. and when he embraced you lightly at the entrance of the bar, you just felt cold. no warmth, no comfort, you felt like you’d break him. 

“hey, i was hoping you’d actually come.” he breathed in as he pulled away, still, it wasn’t feeling right. 

“why wouldn’t i?” 

“cause you’re out of my league,” he said with a seductive smile and you wanted to believe him. wanted to enjoy the night as it comes and maybe have a few drinks, talk. but your mind was on a bitter man who sat in a house all by his lonesome. 

the thing about ‘dates’ now is that small talk doesn’t happen anymore. what’s your mom like? she’s dead actually. really? mine too! it was pointless. if you ended up here, you knew that you were alone. 

it wasn’t long before you and tyler were sitting on two stools, side by side. your knees were in between his as the two of you talked, flirted, gave simple touches. you were having fun. doing what would seem normal at a bar, just enjoying the company of someone who actually liked you. 

“how come you’ve never hung out with anyone else? i never see you with anyone.” he said, his fingers tapping on your knee. 

“mmm, i’m just not for everyone.” you flirted, covering his fingers with yours. you knew this wasn’t going anywhere, but you’d like to live in it just a little longer. the touch of a man, someone who desired you even if it wasn’t how you wanted. something you started to crave from joel. 

“maybe you’re just for me then?” he suggested, and you decided to just play into it. it was kind of hard not to when you were thinking of joel, you needed to act out on it. 

“i doubt that, honey,” you said, tugging at the collar of his shirt. he smelled like tequila and grass, something not that appealing but you ignore it. you wanted something out of him tonight, because for some reason the words joel spoke to you kept ringing in your ears. if you need anything, you let me know darlin’. the words rumbled through your body and straight to your core, because if there’s anything you need he could definitely be of help. 

you didn’t know how long you stayed at this bar, teasing and touching each other until you felt the ache in your core, aching for a touch that you’ve had once before. but you didn’t give a shit about purity or virginity, you wanted the ache gone and you knew tyler was the best bet. 

“tyler,” you whispered in his ear as the bar started to empty. 

“yes, beautiful?” he answered and slid his hand up your thigh. 

“show me how good you are with your fingers, yeah?” 

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he followed you back to joel’s, hand in hand as you turned the key to the house and softly opened the door to prevent the creaking. granted, you didn’t think this through, like everything else. maybe you should’ve gone to his. you cringed a bit, walking inside. 

it was dark inside, nothing but the sizzle of a freshly put out fire. you put your fingers to your lips to shush him, taking him slowly upstairs and to your room. you couldn’t help but find yourself glancing at joel’s door, which is cracked open. 

you finally made it to your room with the lanky man groping your body and trying to slither you out of your jeans, letting him. 

“only want your fingers, okay? if not you can leave.” you established as you stood in your panties and tight shirt. 

“fuck, yeah that’s okay,” tyler himself was craving a woman’s touch, he didn’t even care if he got off. he just wanted to see you, a woman’s body, to feel you. 

“can i touch you? like anywhere?” he asked as he sat on the edge of your bed, his cock already hardened against his pants. it didn’t sound right coming from him. you wondered what it’d sound like with the texas twang you craved to hear from a certain man. 

it still made your core twinge a bit, remembering the last time you were this vulnerable. you couldn’t lie, even if it wasn’t what you wanted, you fell in to the odd touch of the man desperately trying to touch you. 

“anywhere. keep your dick in your pants, i’ll touch as i go if you want me to.” you moved over to him and crawled into your bed, and he slipped in next to you as he propped himself on his elbow to look at you. 

“you’re so pretty, really.” he said, genuinely and you smiled. your stomach even fluttered a bit. it’s been a long time hearing that, hearing desire. 

“touch me, please.” 

tyler took his time, a little more than you’d liked but he was busy distracted with the way your tits pushed up to your chin, like you were suffocating. touching and teasing, his touch felt good but it still didn’t feel right, it didn’t feel heartstopping. maybe you’re expecting too much. 

but he didn’t talk to you when he dipped his hand in your panties, you just heard his whimpers and panting as he rutted his hard on into the side of your fat thigh, barely focused on you. you weren’t feeling it anymore, your wetness wasn’t even directed towards him really. everything you did with him was what you wanted to do with joel. you weren’t interested anymore and it started to feel wrong, it never felt good because tyler wasn’t worried about you. just his nut, and you didn’t like that. you didn’t like to feel used. 

“okay, wait, wait—i said wait!” you said and grabbed his wrist, pulling it from your panties and moving off of the bed. 

“wait, fuck i’m sorry, i was just so, fuck i’m so sorry.” he said a bit loudly, and you swore you heard a creak in the hallway as you moved to the door. 

“it’s okay, i just, i’m not–i’m tired. i think you should go.” you said, hugging your arm as he adjusted himself in his pants and got up. 

“i’m sorry, i,-” he tried again and you waved him off. 

“it’s done and forgotten, you didn’t do anything you were just really into it. i wasn’t.” you were careful with your words, not as tough as you would be because you’re vulnerable. but he wouldn’t get far if he hurt you, you knew that. 

“i’m sorry, goodnight. can we kind of like, forget this?” he asked rubbing the back of his neck and you softly laughed. 

“forget what?” you smiled and he returned it, giving a small kiss on the cheek before he left. he was a nice man, a good kid, and he meant no harm. he didn’t need a ruthless beating or yelling, just needed to tell him it wasn’t meant to be. you couldn’t shake the feeling of how wrong it was, how wrong it felt being tyler touching you. 

you knew who you wanted to touch you. as sweet and kind and charming tyler was, he wasn’t what you wanted. the man you wanted was across the hall from you, on the other side of the stairs. sleeping, maybe. 

you knew ellie was at a friends house doing only god knows what, so with the hope in mind that joel was asleep in his room, you trotted downstairs braless, and bottomless. you were still in the same tight shirt you left in, but now just in the pink panties that were apart of the gifts maria got you. just new/traded clothing you needed. the shirt hugged you and cut off at the dip of your curve, the fat of your tummy slightly protruding between the shirt and your panties. 

you didn’t look towards the fireplace where the sofas were, instead you grab a small cup and let faucet water pour into it, taking a drink. 

“work up a sweat?” a deep southern voice said behind you, from a distance. you jumped at the sudden break of silence and turned quickly to the sofas. 

“joel? what the fuck,” you breathed and stepped out to walk to the sofas. somehow, you completely disregarded the fact that all you had on was a shirt and panties, standing in joel miller’s living room. 

“what made you think it was a bright idea to invite a bastard in my home like that? not only that,” he said. you finally saw the light from outside shining on his face as he stood up, something glimmering in his hand. a gun. “but letting him touch all over you? that prick?” 

you had a lot to say, a lot to yell out. but the only thing to say was a snarky comment. “you know he called you the same thing.” 

which, he did. but you were too drunk on the flirting and drinks to care or to know why, even though you already knew. joel wasn’t nice to anyone but ellie. tommy and maria even think he’s an asshole, but that’s tommy’s brother and maria’s brother in law. he’s family. but there were things that you didn’t know about joel miller. things he didn’t want you to know either. 

“why do you even care? who’s touching me, i mean.” you scoff, feeling less embarrassed about your state of clothing. but being a lot more aware as he steps closer and closer to your curvy figure, putting his gun in the waistband of his sweatpants. 

he was intimidating like this. towering over you with his fists clenched, searching your face for something. you felt your heartbeat pick up as his eyes raked over you and fell on your lips. he was drunk off of you, the sight of your fat cunt only being clothed by a single piece of fabric drove him to dig his nails in his palms. the nakedness of your thighs, and the midriff showing—it was going to kill him.

“if you’re gonna fuck these town folk, make sure it ain’t in my house.” he spit, and you just rolled your eyes. you felt like you were in trouble for sneaking out, like a teenager. 

“i didn’t fuck anyone. we didn’t do anything. he wanted to, i didn’t.” you defended, feeling small now but still holding yourself tall.

joel just looked at you, not wondering if you were lying or not. he knew you weren’t, he heard it himself the minute he heard something bang against your wall. it was just you shuffling to get up, and he heard you consoling him. you weren’t satisfied. 

“why’d you lie to me? bout’ seein’ him tonight?” he asked, your head tilted up to his as he steps one step closer. your chest is almost touch his, and your breathing was getting heavier. 

“figured you wouldn’t trust him,” you said, sounding like you wanted to say something else but keeping it to yourself. 

he was watching you like you were his prey. like you were something he wanted to take and devour for himself, like you were something for his eyes only. 

“smart girl,” 

“he touch you wrong?” he couldn’t help but ask, the curiosity killing him slowly as time passes with you standing in front of him with your tight pink panties on. he looked down between the two of you and saw the hardened pebbles that were your nipples showing up through your black tight shirt, down to your tummy that was pressed against his. he liked the softness of your belly, he was practically dying to grip it himself. he wanted to grip every part of you, to palm your pussy and feel how warm you were in his grip. he even found himself hating his own mind as thought of what your pussy would look like sucking him in. 

“i, he,” you were stuttering, embarrassing yourself as his hand trailed up your arm, thinking of all the ways he could watch you take his cock for him. 

you watched him watch you. how his eyes went dark again, how there was a slight touch of possessiveness in his voice. you didn’t assume though.

“can’t find the words, hm? he wasn’t makin’ you feel good?” he asked softly, watching as you closed your eyes and breathed through your mouth, opening again to see a small grin playing on his lips, his head tilted to the side. his fingers barely left your wrist, and made their way to your fleshy hip, tapping against the bare skin. he was enjoying this. making you squirm. making you nervous. 

“fuck off, joel,” you meant it to come out a lot stronger than it did, even you thought you sounded needy. “s’ none of your damn business,” you spit, stronger this time.

and before you could even wallow in your retorts, a smile tugged very faintly at his lips. you weren’t so convincing when you were practically trying to pull him to your body with your fists buried in his sweater. he appreciated the effort though, he's never met someone with as much bite in their bark as you.

he just liked to watch you writhe for him. you wanted to whine with how eager you were for him, how mean he was being to you for no reason. you needed him.

“it’s like you’re not even tryin’, what’s the matter? do i make you nervous sweetheart?” he gleamed in his power over you, the way your eyes searched for him and your mouth parted, just for him. he wanted to ruin you in every way. ruin every man for you, show you how to truly be taken care of.

"go fuck yourself," you retorted and he actually laughed. and he laughed at you. a sudden heat rushed to your cheeks, embarrassment filling you.

“i didn’t tell you but,” he paused as he leaned into your ear, grazing his cheek against yours and smiling to himself, “you looked real pretty today, ya know that? you look even prettier like this, all flustered for me.” 

you had to be dreaming. had to have gone to sleep after tyler left, and this was your wet dream making up for it. there was no way you were this exposed to joel and he was practically pressed up against your body as he told you how pretty you looked. you couldn’t speak, your tongue was tied and joel smiled to himself as he realized he got you to shut up.

“would ya let me touch you, sweet girl? maybe you'd be nicer if someone knew how to touch you,” he asked, his fingers playing on your hip. 

you still couldn’t answer. it felt like a trap, like if you let yourself give in to his words, every guard you put up was pointless. you were frozen, and suddenly felt insanely vulnerable but his voice was so inviting, so impossible to not fall into.

“touch me where?” you asked, treading lightly. you wanted to hear it, you wanted him to tell you he wanted you as bad as you wanted him. you wanted to prove to yourself that you hadn't lost your mind yet. but you also wanted to stretch whatever this was as long as possible before you find yourself on your knees for him without even asking.

joel felt like he was out of his body. like he was watching you squirm and move under his presence from above. he was so distracted by how hard your nipples were rubbing against him that he didn’t even notice your fists balled into his shirt, trying to take him in closer. maybe it was the alcohol he drank to ignore the jealousy he felt, or maybe it was the fact that tommy came to tell joel about the boy you were seeing. how the two of you were practically on top of each other before he left, how he was touching you in public–he was angry. 

nothing was done, nothing more than joel grabbing your almost bare hip and you tugging on his shirt, but it still felt like something that was crossing a line. a line you wanted to cross.

until he got the courage to grab the hand that was buried in his sweater, taking it in his own and touching you with your hand. he was answering your question. his hand ghosted on top of yours as his eyes watched your eyes train on the sight between the two of the bodies, enjoying how soft and pink you look. you were hot and bothered, and he could get used to seeing you like this. 

“first place i’d touch you, baby,” he breathes, his lips practically against your cheek now. he was breathing you in, drinking you in, “is right here,” 

his hand guided you to cup your mound, angry that it wasn’t his hand touching you. your breath was shaky while you watched him, your eyes flickering from his moving hand to his eyes, and every time he made sure your eyes latched onto his. he wanted you to know how much he was enjoying teasing you like this, he wanted you to remember the way he looked at you while you panted against him. 

“but like this, lemme show you ‘xactly how i’d touch you sweetheart,” he was lost, drunken only on you, ignoring the world around him. “don’t think that boy would be enough for a woman like you, ain’t that right?"

he took his own hand as you were still pressed against his front, his lips now teasing the skin of the crook of your neck and starting to pull your panties away from your skin to dip his hand inside. your breathing was uneven and your soft whimpers were getting louder the more he trailed down into your underwear, and he was loving them.

the second he felt the scruff of your unshaved mound, he heard you release a shaky, sexy breath, and he grew harder against your bare abdomen. even feeling the heat of your skin on his clothed cock made him want to get on his knees and worship you.

"needy little fuckin' thing, that desperate for me huh? you gonna let me feel this pretty pussy how i want?"

he was so fucking filthy. so filthy for someone who hasn't even seen you naked, so filthy for someone who didn't even talk to you before this. it was agonizing, you were melting into his harsh words and wanted to listen to him make you feel small like this all night.

"joel, i swear," you warned as his breath hit your lips with his eyes on yours.

you had a bush, he thought to himself. he really didn’t think that would turn him on of course,  but now he pictured you standing in front of him, bottomless. how your belly would look with your curves, the way your breasts would rest at their natural position, your thighs fat and wide all for him, and the pretty fat mound waiting for him to feel and taste. worst time to think all of that of course, because it sent a flood of blood and excitement to his groin, giving him another thing to be nervous about. but god did he want to see it, see all of you laid in his bed, and tugging on the thatch of hair on your mound. he was fucked.

and god forbid you figured out that he’s been picturing you bent and folded in every way just so he could reach to the back of your cervix, if you figured out that his anger towards you is pent up sexual frustration because every time you’re in the shower, he’s thinking of the way you looked lathered in soap, waiting for him to join you. he was a sick man to think of you like this, but all of his desires and fantasies were threatening to barge in, to unleash all of his wants and needs to you. 

he was fighting himself to be a respectable man, a man who doesn’t think of women who were young enough to be his own kid in ways that were sinful. he shouldn’t be wanting to fill your throat with his cock when you smart mouth him. he was losing whoever he thought was himself, and letting heart and cock do his thinking. 

you couldn't think right, nothing was processing as you felt the heat of his hand on your cunt. you felt another wave of pleasure hit you and suddenly, you could feel your wetness pooling for him in your panties. you had a hard time wrapping your head around the fact that joel actually wanted you too, even if he wanted to put you in your place for once and shut you up.

you didn't care how he wanted you. you were a bitch, but you were desperate for him.

"mmm, you're real scary, baby, threats ain't gettin' you anywhere. you have t' beg me for my fingers," he teased, rubbing the hair on your mound.

"oh fuck off, i'm not begging you for shit," you're putting up a fight with yourself, and you were winning. at leadt you thought so. even if you were letting him touch you this way, you weren't goping to beg him or give him the pleasure of watching you submit to him.

"yeah? maybe i'll jus' make ya," he grinned, his sinister smile forming while he rested his forehead on yours, his hand inside your panties as the two of you watched him tease your lips.

the second joel’s finger moves from your hairy mound to the fat lips of your cunt to spread and feel just how much you ached for him, to tease your hole so you'd be sent into a fit of desperation, the two of you heard the doorknob jiggle and a loud laugh from the outside, meaning it was ellie. joel pulled his hand and body away quickly and nodded upstairs with a hard look, giving you the hint to go before ellie saw you in your panties. 

your face expressed everything to him, you needed him. and you didn’t want to let go. he watched as you walked up the stairs, your ass practically eating up the fabric of your panties. it left nothing to the imagination and he groaned, something you swore you heard, before he fixed himself in his pants. 

ellie walked in, and you stayed at the top of the stairs out of sight to hear the lecturing. 

“are you outta your damn mind, ellie? it’s three in the mornin’,” his paternal instincts were coming out, and you smiled. 

“i was down the street. relax, i just didn’t want to stay there.” ellie defended as she slipped her shoes off. 

“did somethin’ happen? are you hurt?” he asked quickly, examining ellie to see if he saw blood or cuts anywhere. 

“jeez, no joel lay off. why are you up anyways isn’t it like six hours past your bedtime?” she scoffed, annoyed at the father figure lecturing her right now. what was he gonna tell her? 

“was waitin for your friend to come home, so i can lock up before bed,” he lied. he was lying and you knew it. you came home an hour ago, and he was still up. 

“you’re in love aren’t ya? old man,” ellie teased. her demeanor was a little more playful than she’d been this last month and he shook his head annoyed, but to you it was silent. your lips pinched into a thin line as you heard joel grunt.

“go to be ellie. now.” he ordered and she rolled her eyes, saying her good nights and going to the garage to sleep in her space. 

a part of you wanted joel to come upstairs, into your room and to do everything he wanted to do. you didn’t know exactly what he wanted to do, but with the touching and flirting he was doing, it seemed like he wanted you. maybe he was drunk, you could smell it on his breath! he seemed pretty sober talking to ellie. you cursed yourself as you moved quietly to your room, leaving the door cracked open just in case. 

but nothing. you heard him trudge up the stairs, and walk directly the opposite direction into his own room. you were frustrated at this point. sexually frustrated if you must say, and the ache in your core was not leaving any time soon. 

you felt embarrassed, and you felt like joel was toying with you. all of the sudden this comes up and he's trying to finger fuck you in the living room when you genuinely thought he didn't even acknowledge your mere existence. it was so confusing for you, but the only thing you knew for sure now after a few weeks of deciding is that you craved joel miller.

it was a weird feeling. only because growing up in an apocalyptic world as a teenager and a young adult meant your chances of love and relationships were slim to none, at least for you. but you met joel in times where you had given up already.

as you lied in bed, wondering if joel was asleep or thinking about you too, you felt silly. you were setting yourself up for disaster by having hope that whatever this was with joel was more than that, and not just that. you worried you were getting ahead of yourself, maybe you were taking joel's advances too seriously. what if he just wants an easy fuck? nothing serious, something for pleasure in this dark world where everyone seeks a way to alleviate their pain

you felt like maybe you were geting into your head like you always do. maybe this could be good. maybe this could be your chance to let go, be vulnreable again, let someone make you feel like a teenager again. you had your fair share of crushes when you were in the QZ, you remembered that innocent feeling of liking someone, the shyness that came with it, how nervous you got around them. and with joel, you felt that times one hundred.

the flutters in your stomach, the goosebumps on your skin when he stands too close to you. he made you feel good even without trying.

but nothing good comes from joel miller.

[pumpkinsy0]

Okay I can’t explain why but The Curtis Brother’s I do read as white. (But like with every outsiders character I literally love ANY Ethnicity Hc you throw at them.) That being said I think that The Curtis brother’s have been luckier in certain areas as compared to some of the other greasers,especially given the time.But I don’t think they necessarily realize that growing up, but specifically Darrel.

Ponyboy hangs out with Curly a lot so he isn’t aloof to how Curly is treated by others. He picks up on the small micro aggressions and how he often gets off easier than Curly does, especially at school. Same goes when he’s with Johnny and Dally. It’s something he knows is there but doesn’t quite have the words to explain it. Sodapop I think understands that he has it easier because he gets that he fulfills the all American boy look. He notices this when first starting to work at the DX and how the customers react to him versus how they react to Steve. He knows exactly why they do that too. And Sodapop hates that this is the case but gets he can’t exactly change it. So he makes up for it by trying to distract Steve or making him feel better.

For Darrel..he’s not WILLFULLY ignorant it’s just that he’s had a busy life. Even before he took on his role as guardian, he was always busy with football,school, even Soc Parties. Then after his parents died, he got even more busy.I don’t think he’s quite processed what some of the other greasers go through.

I don’t think it fully clicks when he’s with Two-Bit one day. The two decided to go out shopping at the fancy grocery store, since Darry wanted to go big for Pony’s graduation party. Two-Bit is acting like usual and goofing off, in the process of trying to make Darry laugh.At one point though a nearby lady spies Two and automatically mistakes him for the help. Two-Bit being use to this simply smiles and politely tells her that he’s a customer there. Darry finds that weird at first but then things take a turn when one of the employee starts to follow Two-Bit around the store. Darrel is puzzled by all this and asks Two-Bit about it.Two-Bit shrugs and tells him it’s not a big deal because this thing always happens. It’s not until he says that does it click for Darry. When it does he also starts to get why Two-Bit acts the way he does. Why he often smiles and laughs during a tense situation, or why he doesn’t try to fight back during an argument. Because that’s his way of surviving.For Two-Bit this is just an everyday occurrence in his life, and something that he’s learned to accept long ago. It doesn’t change the fact that Darry is mad on his behalf and most definitely goes back to the same store later to chew out said employee.

((In part based off of me and my own siblings personal experience grocery shopping at one of the more ritzier places. And also because Mexican Irish Two-Bit lives in my head rent free…take with this what you will. Also sorry if it’s long…))

nono i get what u mean!!! and dont apologize for sending long ask i am very nosey and must know what ppl think all the time, i love long asks!!!!

and ur so right, i see the curtis’ as white americans, but boy oh boy am i a sucker for my black curtis bros and anons arab curtis or any curtis bros, like i said, multiverse goin on in my head here!!!

but ik what u mean!!! its not like theyre WILLFULLY ignorant, hell i dont even think theyre fully ignorant period, its just, they dont live it and nobody around them rlly talks about it much (to them at least, mostly bc they feel like they wouldnt get it, which tbh, they wouldnt) and of course its the 60s theyve heard of the racial tensions but theres only so much they can do about it in their own lives???? i hope i explained that well and yknow what i mean😭

and yknow what ALLOW ME TO TALK ABOUT (my :3) SHEPARDS A BIT HERE AS WELL☝🏽☝🏽

bc i hc my shepards to be immigrants from a pretty much fully black place, they never rlly had to deal w the racism that was going on in america, so when they moved here and they started getting attached w all these labels, plus that language barrier, it was hard for them to really understand a lot of the things, so for a couple years, the shepard family wasnt really known and were just barely scrapping by

BUT SKIPPING HOW I THINK THE SHEPARD GANG CAME TO B BC I TALKED ABOUT IT ENOUGH BEFORE

as individual ppl, i dont think ALL the shepards r actually respected, only tim is!!but even then before that he wasnt, he couldnt rlly speak english so he was also just tossed to the side at sone point, maybe even laughed at

angela is fetishized and while she can use that to her advantage, at the end of the day, she as a regular human being isnt taken seriously and respected unless she basically demands it

and w curly, part of the reason WHY hes not taken seriously is bc hes not given the light of day bc hes seen as “not smart”, part of the reason why hes seen as not smart and not given the opportunity to prove himself is bc he is black

NOW when it comes to papercut and this issue, like u said, i do think the curtis, just dont exactly grasp it, but the shepards do, mainly angela and tim, they understand that how they look impacts what they can and cant do, and curly understands it too, but to a lesser degree, he just wants to be and doesnt want to care, but he doesnt realize that he cant rlly AFFORD to do that, bc it could mean life or death for him, couple that w pony not getting it as well, and thats where i think part of the weariness about this couple comes from!!! this is also partially y i demand more tim and angela being protective of curly☝🏽🤓

but at some point, i do believe that pony would try to use the privilege he has to try and help curly from getting into some shit

i could probably explain all this WAY better and more in depth and have more ideas but then id b writing an essay so, i wont bc im LAZY, BUT ANON??? this is SO real

i hope i explained everything well lmao im not rereading this

[makotonaegiunderstander]

going to tear my room apart thinking about how Makoto Naegi genuinely is a normal guy. Even more so in the games where he doesn’t quite have the same explosion he does in the anime adaption— he made up his mind before the trial even started that he wasn’t going to give up no matter what happened to him because his friends had given their last trying to live, and he had to survive for them. He didn’t see surviving but choosing despair as surviving, he wanted to do what they entered the room prepared to do, he wanted to fulfill the declaration he made when he survived his execution: as long as he was alive, as long as he was breathing, he wasn’t going to give up. He saw Junko, he saw everything she presented, and he’d already felt that utter despair. He had the chance to give in as early as Mukuro’s first trial, where he could have chosen to suspect Kirigiri. But he refused to be manipulated anymore, he refused to play the game, even if it meant everything he had, and that’s where he changed from hiding to fighting. When he made the decision to hide Kirigiri’s lie (he did NOT know he was going to die, actually!!! He thought they’d be able to work out the trap bc there was never a time limit before that trial!! That said it’s still incredible that he refused to break even when he realized it would cost him his life.) that was when he broke from his fear completely. That was when he officially bowed out of the game. He wouldn’t be subject to the game’s demands anymore, he was going to win no matter what. He chose to have reckless faith in his friends no matter what, he chose to pursue a truth that would end the game for good. It’s not entirely normal for anyone to do, for sure, but that doesn’t mean he was the only one capable. I’ve said that before in a previous post, that Makoto didn’t do anything that was impossible for any other person. Just like despair was innate in every person and everyone was capable of it, so was hope. That’s what Makoto brought out. But even he stumbled. Even he needed his friends there. And the other survivors are the ones that took Makoto’s prompt and used it to break free of Junko’s influence, Makoto didn’t force them to. He didn’t brainwash them or manipulate them or do anything to influence their thoughts any more than reminding them hope was still there for them, that it wasn’t over yet. They did the rest themselves.

And then they left, and the title Ultimate Hope got away from them all, into a world ideologically influenced by Junko’s despair, and in its absence after her death, it latched into the next powerful force one to replace what it has lost, but it needed a figurehead. So Makoto was chosen, as the one that refused to submit in the face of Junko. He was viewed as an ultimate, elevated, the world placed on his shoulders, and the same wave that brought about the Tragedy turned towards Makoto. People may have needed something to hold onto that felt as powerful as what they’d been facing, but Makoto wasn’t the only one that fought, and he wasn’t possessing some inhuman ability to always resist despair or anguish. Makoto is both exceptional in his determination and stubbornness to keep moving forward and being optimistic, and also not in the slightest, because it isn’t a talent. It isn’t an ultimate ability, it isn’t something no one else can measure up to. His uniqueness comes from his ability to choose that even if he’s standing alone. But, like I said, he’s not immune, he’s not incapable of falling. He will just do everything in his power to resist up until the end, because that’s the decision he made.

It’s weird how he’s Schrödinger’s normal. He’s the most normal guy in the world, but his view of himself as such is also flawed. He isn’t nothing. In fact one could say it’s abnormal that he’s so normal. And he DOES have something that is unique about him, even he can’t deny that fact despite trying to downplay it. He’s optimistic. He’s chosen to try and be positive or at the very least choose to keep going forward in life. That IS abnormal to an extent, despite not being some ultimate, or something no one else is capable of. It is abnormal to never entertain the idea of slowing down, getting bored, or giving up. But at the same time, Makoto DID have moments like that in the game. The only time he really stopped doing that was in the final chapter, when he was pushed to his absolute limit and those parts of him exaggerated themselves so that he could feel like he could survive. He’s the weirdest normal guy alive, I guess.

Anyway I’m rambling and this probably doesn’t make sense bc I pulled an all nighter for the final class trial but I’m losing my mind over Makoto Naegi all the time

[lucksea]

YESSSS POSTING LITTLE CHUNKS IS THE SPICE OF LIFE! 👀 the PLA self insert fic OR any Lucky Mew scraps u may have?

I DONT HAVE ANY LUCKY MEW SCRAPS AT THE MOMENT she was a sona alt design that got away from me and i havent decided enough of her plot to write anything. but heres ... i was going to do screenshots for this but again theres actually a lot of this and i thought about it and decided i might as well jsut post all of it so heres a long as fuck copy pasted entry of the entirety of the isekai doc. under the cut. have fun smile. featuring skylark my cohost and one of the anchors in the sea that is life

DAY ONE

-wake up on the beach

-literally no memory of how i got here. How the fuck did i get here

-i am still an adult man and i spawned in with a shiny jolteon

-oh god.

-im gonna fuck up the timeline so bad. Oh no

-skylark straight up talks to me and i physically pog

-immediately from now on attempt to down low talk to every pokemon i see. They are all as weirded out by this as the humans are

-my android. my fucking phone

-catch the little freaks for laventon same as usual. My hand eye coordination isnt that great but i only miss once ✌️

-the oshawott puts up a fight and sky zaps the fuck out of it. Hardly even a battle

-be questioned by cyllene

-look man …… i have no answers for you. I fell from the sky with this thing and no memory (of how the fuck this happened) i swear to god

-apparently nobody in the galaxy team has heard of being able to talk to pokemon.

-kamado does not like that i showed up no memory no money no job and started asking weird questions so he gives me a harder trial. Fight the alpha bibarel at the dam past deertrack heights

-rei and akari are both there. Thank god. If i fuck it up and stop being the protagonist one of them can do the story mode

-skylark points out that given the severity of catching a starly shinx and bidoof in the game, they are for sure definitely for real trying to kill us by making us fight an alpha bibarel on our first day

-well. thats probably fine. More glory for us

-walking through the obsidian fieldlands is actually really nice other than all the little bitches trying to kill me

-huh isnt this deertrack heights. Its weird to see it without a camp here. Oh god the fucking geodude

-we take on the alpha bibarel thats blocking the way to the woods

-by we i mean my buddy the mean green electric machine

-hm this thing is pretty strong actually huh what level is skylark supposed to be –

-[haggard and soaking wet] that thang didnt stand a chance 😏

-lament to skylark that i wish id gotten transformed into a different form because i want to wear the cool zoroark mask if it exists but i cant do that with glasses

-ok anyway. We’re clearly in this for the long haul we need to brainstorm a team

-skylark tries to do her I CAN TAKE CARE OF IT MYSELF shit and then we both stare into the distance as an image of arcanine fades into our minds

-no we need a water type.png

-but not bibarel. Sorry bibarel.

-laventon didnt give me the oshawott bc i literally already had a pokemon so samurott is off the table (SAD)

-eevee are so rare and i am not going to be the eeveelution guy so leafeon and vaporeon are also no go even if i like them. A freaky jolteon is enough

-what other water types are there.

-gyarados

-hatch a master plan to speedrun to kleavor and catch the gyarados flying around the mountain range above the forest

-I ALSO WANT A SCIZOR 🥺

-skylark voice Can you look me in the eyes and promise me that you will not start shaking and crying as soon as you get anywhere near a scyther. Can you truly say with a straight face that your insect phobia will not apply to pokemon if pokemon are real

-i believe in my ability to forget fear in the face of love. And i love scyther.

-both of those are flying types and kleavor is a rock type so unless i find a metal coat day 2 or i want to let my soon to be three idiots fight a nightmare battle we need a fourth party member to take on the boss

-what other fucking pokemon are even in this area. I dont remember

-give up on brainstorming for now and go back to the camp victorious

-i expect kamado to give some kind of like halfhearted thing because he thought i was going to die but then he says some shit about sensing the strength and valor in my heart or something. Ok <3 yay <3

-congrats you get to have a house. Welcome to the security corps

-

-THE WHAT

-FUUUUUUUUCK

-i dont even get a cute scarf as part of my uniform. This sucks so bad. Fuck my stupid baka life

-oh yeah i need to eat

-please buy me food professor please buy me food professor please b

-SUCCESS I LOVE YOU LAVENTON MARRY ME i dont say that out loud but i think it.

-fried potato mochi goes crazy. Not in any world what i was expecting but its good

-go to sleep in my new house. The first time i get a taste of living alone and its in a straight up isekai situation. Figures

-i havent gotten any texts from arceus. Is my mission even still to collect all the pokemon

-check my phone

-no new messages

-please lord have mercy on my fucking SOULLLLLLLLL

DAY TWO

-wake up

-new job is to escort the teenagers + professor to the areas. Oh my god. We are going to fuck up the plot of this game so bad

-WHAT ABOUT KLEAVOR???

-apparently i am still the one who is going to take on kleavor because im the best fighter in the fucking region.

-youre goddamn right. (THANK GOD THE TEENAGERS DONT HAVE TO DO IT)

-i may only be 22 years old but KAMEN RIDER DEMONS VOICE i will lay down my life to protect these 15 year olds ive known for 24 hours

-hmm skylark i know we already fucked up the plot but dont you feel like we’re forgetting something

-stare at each other

-oh my god. Where the fuck is Zora

-SURELY BECAUSE ME AND SKYLARK REMEMBER EVERYTHING ZORA ALSO REMEMBERS AND KNOWS AND IS AWARE. IS IT A ZORUA OR A ZOROARK. IS IT IN THE ICELANDS OR IS IT HERE. THERE ARE TOO MANY VARIABLES

-worry about that later. When our lives are not immediately on the line . we have to go to deertrack heights again

-hi Mai :] hi munchlax :]

-oh yeah battle

-skylark. Blast that thang

-oh yeah the kricketune

-skylark. Blast that thang

-this is literally what it feels like to play a game and have access to the crazy overpowered dlc characters and destroy the early enemies. My new game plus swagger

-apparently the clans do have records of people who can communicate with pokemon so my instant conversation with munchlax is super weird but not unheard of

-please dont say its like a religious thing. please

-”i mean we did make them wardens but it wasnt just because they could talk to pokemon. Like the lords are the ones who choose the wardens. Its not really our decision”

-ill take it.

-that explains why lian and sabi are wardens despite being like ten years old. I do not point this out because i should not know who they are

-mai says shes glad to see people in the galaxy team who walk alongside pokemon as equals. I realize that i actually have no idea if skylark even has a pokeball but it feels distinctly crazy fucked up for me to put her in one of those so i dont say anything about that either

-mai does not give me a flute or anything and adaman does not show up but wyrdeer does give me a weird look. Hi wyrdeer. Do you have something to say

-he doesnt. Aw man

-deertrack heights camp gets set up while we continue to the forest

-were not fighting kleavor today we just have to “study it” aka watch it tear the fuck out of some trees and agree that thats probably a danger to everyone and god

-lian is there YAY LIAN

-he agrees that kleavor is kind of scary but its not our business so we should stay away and let pearl clan handle it.

-rei and akari try to argue and lian challenges them to a battle

-skylark and i make significant eye contact. We probably cant afford to slip away and catch the scyther while this happens what if the children get attacked

-akari has her pikachu and rei has an eevee

-Of Course He Does.

-due to the nature of the world a 2v1 isnt against the rules and rei and akari win

-lian begrudgingly concedes

-i tell goomy hes cute. Because he is. He is baffled

-IRIDA APPEARS

-i really dont want to tell the leader of this clan what to do about her holy figures because thats fucked up but kleavor is straight up murderous and this is real life right now so i state very objectively that my jolteon and i will step in if things get out of hand

-irida does not like this.

-rei and akari add on that i just got here like yesterday and i fought the alpha bibarel and won like 4 hours after waking up on the beach

-well skylark did the fighting. Not me. I just cheered her on because she had a type advantage and the willpower to do anything

-irida contemplates this.

-well whatever we wanna do kleavor is still definitely too dangerous to approach as is so we need to retreat and figure out a way to subdue him enough that battle is even possible

-i restrain myself from giving the balms option outright because i dont want to have all the answers that would be suspicious. And what if thats not even how it works here. What if i look like an idiot. And my aim isnt even that good. I dont even want the answer to be balms honestly

-irida seems like she wants to ask me more questions but she dismisses us for now

-we return to laventons office for the night to brainstorm

-laventon comes up with the balms

-look professor…….. Im not really that good at throwing things ……………………. Catching the little guys on the beach was a fluke i was like 3 feet away from them

-rei and akari start coming up with a plan to throw the balms at kleavor while i keep it distracted

-That Does Not Sound Like A Good Idea At All Guys . What If It Just Attacks You Instead

-skylark brings up rage powder

-this instantly makes me irritated because my two planned team members would have bug and flying covered and thus catching a dustox or whatever would mean id have to rethink my team.

-can dustox or beautifly even learn rage powder

-nobody knows what that is.

-arcphone. Do you have google. Arceus show me Pokemon That Can Learn Rage Powder

-arceus actually pulls up a list of pokemon that can learn rage powder THANKS..? GOD..? wait is this the pokemondb page 

-the answer is no pokemon in hisui can do that.

-we are so fucked

-ok wait what about follow me

-clefairy. Thats in the highlands i cant get that. Elekid. Thats in the icelands i cant get that. Magby. Thats in the coastlands i cant get that. Pachirisu. NOT ANOTHER FUCKING ELECTRIC TYPE

-ok. We need to be able to keep kleavors attention even when there are other people throwing things at it for this plan to work. Can we find a way to do this or do i need to take the balms myself

-i am more willing to just fucking whiff throws than risk other people in this bc there is a CHANCE in this life that i will just respawn and that is not true for everyone else

-i also might not respawn. But theres a chance

-getting a flying type to zip around the arena would only work if we could guarantee that kleavors rock-type moves wouldnt hit which would be hard.

-crobat is probably fast enough to avoid the attacks but theres no way for us to get a crobat that quickly

-drifloon or drifblim might be able to phase out of the way of the attacks and irritate kleavor into pursuing it above any humans in the arena. Ghost types have a habit of annoying the fuck out of people right

-drifloon and drifblim i CAN find easily. I just need to wait in the fieldlands until dark. Sky has a type advantage over them as flying types so if they attack me she can zap the fuck out of them

-they will still be weak to stone axe and stealth rock though. This plan is not a perfect one were gonna be flying by the seat of our pants here

-i wish i had a shellos or gastrodon but i dont think i can swim to the island in th

-IF I CATCH A DRIFBLIM. IT CAN CARRY ME ACROSS. THIS ISNT A VIDEO GAME WITH VIDEO GAME MECHANICS I CAN JUST HAVE MY BALLOON CARRY ME AND CATCH A SHELLOS

-we are catching a motherfucking drifblim. 

-its late at night but going out now would be a bad idea so we agree to go out as normal tomorrow to research and prepare, then stay overnight so i can catch the ghost, and then battle kleavor the next day

-i go back home

-laying down on my cot with sky on my chest

-hey sky how do you think this would have gone if youd been the human and id been a pokemon. What do you think i would have ended up as

-skylark voice i dont fucking know nyarla. I probably would have talked kamado into letting me be in the survey corps or something. You walk through life like a wrecking ball i have no idea what i would do in your shoes because our circumstances would be immediately vastly different

-tahts fair.

-go to sleep

-i dream that im on a boat and all my friends are calling to me on the shore but i cant get back i just keep getting pulled out further to sea and there are cranberries everywhere and spiders clinging to me to get out of the water because suddenly i am not in a boat i am just standing in the water (real dream ive had once taht feels like it would be fitting like narratively)

DAY THREE

-wake up

-well that was unpleasant. Im going to ignore the panic from all my friends thinking im dead and also being covered in spiders. Its probably fine

-ariados isnt in hisui. There are no spiders in hisui. And even if there were i love galvantula. I am immune to bug type pokemon. and fear (MANTRA

-ok time to go to the fieldlands

-while waiting for nightfall i get roped into helping rei and akari do fieldwork. Which mostly consists of skylark beating up baby pokemon while the kids watch. 

-riveting

-i genuinely debate wandering off to go explore and do something more interesting like shiny hunt but i dont want to let the kids get straight up killed when im supposed to be watching them because im not sure i believe in the power of their pikachu and eevee to protect them from any actual threats here. Like an alpha

-the only thing keeping me responsible in this world is responsibility. Who could have guessed

-i experience my midday sleepiness and skylark straight up electrocutes me to wake me up anime pikachu style

-THAT FUCKING HURT YOU DICKHEAD

-shouldnt i be dead from that. I guess humans must be more resilient in the pokemon world just like i theorized. Ill have to keep that in mind later

-the sun finally starts setting and the kids head back to deertrack camp while sky and i venture off to find a ghost

-im still kind of tired but god forbid i get electrocuted again. We persevere

-hey sky was volo supposed to show up yet

-skylark voice honestly ive kind of forgotten whats supposed to have happened at this point. And were only like 3 hours in gameplay wise

-maybe we should stop trying to stick to the game plot, i say, in the middle of a field at 10 pm about to catch a hot air balloon so i can use it to skip two areas of progress and get to an island to catch a little slug before the first boss

-didnt you just play this game, says skylark. Like you didnt even finish it. How do you already not remember what happens at the beginning

-skylark. I dont remember anything ever. You should know this better than anyone. I deleted my save with the limited edition items because i forgot they were limited edition and not dlc. I can forget anything

-we catch the drifblim. Ill come back and add however the fuck this happens later

-head back to the camp to sleep for like 3 hours

-SLEEP

DAY FOUR

-we wake up

-VOLO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-now that im thinking about it we were definitely supposed to battle him at the town gate before coming out here. Well its probably fine

-volo says some obscure shit about the vortex and how interesting it is that i fell from the sky. I debate fucking with him in an uncountable number of ways but decide not to because i like him. I may change my mind in the future

-we do not battle volo because were about to fight kleavor and we need all the strength we can get for it. Im sad because i want to see togepi but i do not say this because it would be insane for me to just know what pokemon he has without being told

-ok everyone before we go on our quest to beat the shit out of a local demigod i have to go on an island quest. Ill be back in like an hour 

-drifblim time 😏

-ok my new friend can you please carry me over there. Please do not try to kill me or some crazy shit like that. I have faith in the power of friendship and the world of pokemon but i do not want that faith to be shattered

-drifblim carries me normal regular style because its so nice and pokemon is a world about being friends with cute monsters that have human intelligence and the power of gods

-shellos time 😏

-id honestly rather catch a gastrodon but sky would be at a disadvantage AND i dont have sky because drifblim couldnt carry us both and i didnt want to pokeball her so shes just chilling on the other shore and idk if i could have drifblim fight and win and catch a gastrodon like 20 minutes before a boss. So shellos it is. Also it would be kind of bullshit for me to just clear the first area with 3 fully evolved pokemon even if i am a grown ass man

-sneak through the grass. Sneaky style

-shellos so cute i love u shellos. I like the blue shellos better than pink shellos but i like pink gastrodon better than blue gastrodon so i do not mind this outcome

-BACKSTRIKE !!

-it catches yay :]

-the gastrodon has witnessed my capture.

-GRAB THE BALL AND RUN

-beautiful moment of drifblim carrying me back while water gets spewed at us. What a great morning to risk my life in battle against a bug made of rocks taller than me while soaking fucking wet

-i gaze at my team and briefly lament the fact that this means i dont get to have an epic sky battle against a gyarados because that sounded like so much fun

-i was literally born to be a pokemon trainer. Going on adventures and quests and battling powerful foes and catching pokemon. This is so awesome

-the fact that this is everything ive ever wanted and that eventually i will have to go back home where magic isnt real and me and sky and zora and everyone are trapped in one body and there are a million things keeping me from the life i want but i have responsibilities to the life i had before that i cant just throw away on a whim sets in.

-oh god

-I CANT START CRYING RIGHT BEFORE FIGHTING A BOSS THE TEENAGERS ARE GOING TO THINK IM A WUSS WHOS SCARED OF KLEAVOR. THEY DONT KNOW IM HAVING A FUCKING GENUINE LIFE CRISIS

-skylark and i resolve to go fight the gyarados anyway for fun later because it will probably be easy and exciting. Just because i cant stay forever doesnt mean i cant enjoy it while im here

-go back to the camp with all my little guys

-ok here we fucking go

-show up to the arena and remember that we have to argue the case for our plan to irida and lian. I forgot

-irida understandably vexed about this whole thing

-i state again for the record that im cool with just doing it all myself because its dangerous and i dont want anyone else to get hurt

-Rei and akari protest and say that they helped come up with the plan and want to help Kleavor in any way they can

-irida agrees with me that its too dangerous for straight up children. How old even is irida. Isnt she like 19. Thats not that much younger than me but we are both still like young adults in the grand scheme of things. Its kind of fucked up that we’re discussing who has the best chance to risk their life and survive here i guess the pokemon world is also kind of fucked up after all

-irida agrees to help us make the balms as long as SHE gets to come with me into the arena to throw the balms while i distract kleavor

-i am surprised by this but i agree because i believe in women

-also it feels way more right for her to have a direct hand in the whole thing considering shes like. The leader of a whole clan. And im just some dude who got here 2 days ago

-while rei akari and lian make the balms irida and i make a game plan

-irida is surprised when drifblim and shellos come out but then shes like actually from what i know about you idk why im shocked that you have a ghost.

-i can only guess what that means. But i think i understand the jist of it .

-game plan

-drifblim does everything in its power to draw the brunt of kleavors fire. It’ll fire off gusts to whip up dirt and do its weird teleportation bullshit so that kleavor cant hit it but will be frustrated enough to keep pursuing

-skylark, shellos and iridas glaceon will lay down support fire for drifblim in case kleavor loses interest or if kleavor knocks it out. If it stays irritated its less likely to notice me and irida

-irida and i will throw balms while the pokemon fight

-shellos says shes not sure she’ll be able to keep up with the fight since she moves so slowly. This is a good point

-she cant sit on skylarks back because shes not a ground type so her firing off electricity will hit shellos.

-drifblim cant take non-ghosts with him when he phases

-glaceon agrees to carry shellos. I am flooded with relief at the fact that i dont have to carry a slug on my head while doing all this shit

-i remember that irida might not know that i can understand pokemon . dont worry about it irida we can talk later

-i also remember the kleavor cheese strat and bring up the idea of ducking behind the tree if kleavor tries to go for us

-irida is unsure if kleavor will remember the importance of the giant tree in his rage, but he hasnt cut it down yet, so its possible he will avoid slicing straight through it to get to us and instead go around

-we will just have to hope so!

-thats  it . thats our plan

-ok. Time to fight kleavor.

-lets pretend drifblim is lvl 25 here since we start with stronger pokemon so it has mystical fire which i think is neutral against kleavor bc of rock subtype

-fight scenes are hard come back and figure the details out later

-someone should get injured here because its a big fight and that will raise tension

-i think the security corps uniform is probably thick for warmth and extra defense so maybe i just get like a really bad scratch on an arm or shoulder but not enough to be a super big deal

-drifblim is knocked out during the battle by a stone axe sorry drifblim i love you

-shellos actually pulling its weight with water pulse and mud bomb

-skylark would know thunderbolt at lvl 25 which is awesome. I forgot that eeveelutions have abysmal move pools except for literally 1 move they can use reliably we’re gonna have to do something about that

-glaceon launches literally 1 ice beam and then realizes it is also so ungodly fucked if it gets hit by a rock move so it focuses on dodging while shellos launches water pulses

-irida and i truly get a lifetime amount of cardio in

-EVENTUALLY WE WIN

-kleavor explodes with light and then hes back to normal yayyy yippeeeeeee

-we have a conversation. He couldnt talk when he was frenzied because that would have been weird ok just trust me on this

-he gives me the bug plate. It feels like bugs. Thats going in the bag forever thanks though

-well i am actively bleeding and drifblim got blasted but nobody died. Lets go home👍

-report back to commander kamado as mission success and then i immediately get sent to the medical wing bc oh my god nyarla your fucking arm dude (im ok) (its just bleeding a lot) (blood loss is a real problem be careful kids)

-i get patched up and then sent home because im not allowed to spend the night in the medical wing of the headquarters when i have an overprotective neon green jolteon who is fully willing to explode someones heart with electricity if she thinks theyre a threat

-thanks skylark. I love you too

-at least i know that when i get kicked out of jubilife and go face down volo i will have a beautiful dragon woman in the shape of a dog that cannot be stopped by beast, man or god

-at this point i remember the space-time distortions and that i can find jhoto sneasels in the fieldlands if theres a distortion

-WE HAVE TO GET A WEAVILE AT ALL COSTS. JAX MUST BE REAL

-oh i should nickname my pokemon. Skylark was a person so she doesnt count

-fall asleep trying to come up with names for drifblim and shellos

DAY FIVE

-wake up

-were all the nobles like… frenzied at once. Or does it happen one after the other. Literally i dont remember i feel like it was all at once other than arcanine

-while getting ready i drop my bag and my pokeballs fall out

-hm. Those two are modern pokeballs arent they.

-hold the fuck on

-Friend Ball is obviously skylarks. 

-Cherish Ball. hm. I know exactly whos in there dont i

-ZORA YOU FUCKER YOUVE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME?!

-AND YOU DIDNT SAY ANYTHING?????????

-zora brings up the very valid point that me walking around with a fucking alpha zoroark would not have been any less suspicious than if skylark had shown up as a garchomp

-thats fair.

-but also i absolutely for sure know you just didnt feel like helping.

-zora smiles

[behoright]

could you do a kids night blurb for brady skjei? 🥺

kids night with fiancé! brady

this is late SORRY but I mean who doesn't want this at any point. so. warnings: smut, smut, smut. breeding/ pregnancy kink n cursing lol

hahahhaha sooo

basically

you guys have been dating FOREVER

recently engaged tho

you had the most beautiful proposal

stuff from your dreams

brady is the sweetest man but honestly

he's wild in the bedroom

he likes sex to be really dirty and nasty most of the time

you guys are veeery private about it

usually no public sex or anything like that

because he likes to have his space and privacy to

literally say and do the nastiest shit to you

and not have to worry about it

he's very good at hiding his arousal in public

there's only been a couple times that you saw it affect him

he'll just play it cool until you get home

we will say this

brady loves the shit out of you

he is 100% sure you're the only one for him forever

the only reason he took a while to propose is

bc he wanted every. single. thing. to be perfect

he feels the same about your wedding

you plan to be engaged for a while and take it slow

take as long as you both need with the planning

he has very much big heart eyes for you

and yes

he does dream about seeing you pregnant or as a mom

he thought about it beforehand but

it took him by surprise when it SPIKED after the engagement

seeing that ring on your finger just does something to him

he dreams about the most domestic shit

coming home from a roadie and seeing you play with your kids

or in bed rubbing your belly

he's actually been dreaming about it

a lot

and he's very overwhelmed by it

every single night a new wholesome dream but it gives him a huge throbbing hard on

he hasn't said anything to you bc its just a phase and

lowkey scared of putting pressure on you

so he's shhh

but uh kids night rolls around

and seeing you mess around with the kids

or hold TWO babies at once

feed them a bottle oof

the fantasies plague him all day long

he's so disconnected and people notice

especially you

but he's "fine, all good. no worries."

he squirts a lil extra water in his face throughout the game bc

he legitimately cannot stop thinking about you so happy with those babies

what if one day you guys have twins

two baby boys that would look ju-

THE GAME FOCUS FOCUS

during the surge tbh

yes there's many kids around but

he knows where you sit in the crowd and he finds your gaze

looks at you ALL THROUGHOUT

does not break eye contact with you from the ice

everyone notices it

you squirm a lil in your seat sjkdfkjdc

he pins you to the wall as soon as you get home

his tongue deep in your mouth

while he grinds up into you

when he takes you to the bedroom he's still kissing you

you're lucky you don't stumble and fall over anything

as soon as he's pushing his leaking cock inside you

he knows he has to say something god damn it he can't hold it back anymore

and that's when it happens

"god, brady, I just kept thinking about you filling me up and getting me pregnant the whole day"

he's so taken back

his eyes, widen. pupils huge

and his whole face and chest get red and splotchy

it takes him 3 seconds to process what you said before he starts hammering into you

"oh, y/n, that's so fucking hot"

"yeah? is that okay? not weird?"

"fuck no. I've been dreaming about you, as my wife, as a mom and it's fucking driving me nuts, baby."

his head in the crook of your neck

he'd move his hands to grab and play with your tits

"I cant wait till these swell up for me too"

"you want a baby, yeah? you want it so bad, huh, baby?"

"I'm the luckiest man in the fucking world, fuck"

"you feel so good, inside, you're so hot for me, for my cum"

sweat dripping from his hair and forehead

eyes are squeezed shut bc

as soon as he makes eye contact with you as you cum

his cock starts twitching inside you

"oh, brady, are you close, baby? you want to cum, inside me? i love it when you fuck me without birth control baby, I love that you can feel how ready my body is for your cum. breed me, breed me, breed me."

he fucking LOSES IT

legs tense

they TWITCH

he fully bottoms out with his legs fully extended all of his weight onto your pelvis

and he sees stars

his eyelids fluttering he's never heard you talk like this usually its the other way around

he groans for a couple of minutes bc it lasts that long

when he comes back down to earth he just stares at you incredulous

"did you like that brady?"

"I'm so dizzy"

dfjdhakljfh he legitimately has to lie down and YOu have to clean him up this time

bc he's so sweaty and lightheaded

new kink unlocked and he might um

attempt to speed up the wedding a lil bit

just to get to the next chapter of your life teehee