#my brain is exhausting

[soundlessroom-archive]

Won't go into details but I got on another blog a statement I don't like and now I am checking in.

[asolitaryrose]

how do i stop being obsessed about something, asking for a friend

[whorunthewcrld]

Oh look, the urge to delete myself from all social media and never talk to anyone ever again. Love that for me

[ineffableigh]

For real though "Do you focus on the big picture or little details" I'm imagining like project management or something meanwhile what they fucking mean is CAN YOU LOOK AT A TASK GLOBALLY OR DO YOU SHIT YOURSELF OVER THE 8000 STEPS INVOLVED IN DOING THE TASK

Like I'm trying to think metaphorically or whatever and meanwhile they're referring to the fact that I look at

'going to the store'

and I see :

Get dressed (sweater? Jacket? umbrella? check weather 20 times)

pick a bag

make sure i have my purse wallet phone keys

Sunglasses? Headphones? Yeah headphones I always need those

Did I forget anything? Check again

go out my front door to building exit and maybe run into neighbors

walk the ten blocks to the store and be sore and tired after (bonus: chronic pain from hypermobility and inflammatory arthritis)

maybe run into weird or rude people

maybe run into people I know and have to, gasp, CONVERSE

deal with all the street noise lights and crossings

deal with drivers trying to run me over

go in the store and avoid looking weird or shady so they don't think i'm stealing

but also don't look weird by trying not to look weird

find the item in the store myself so i don't have to ask for help

fluorescent lights oh god fluorescent lights and white walls

can't find the item shitfuck I don't want to ask they won't know what it is anyway

plus I have to say it in french because of where I live

got the item thank fuck, now i gotta wait in line at the cash

dealing with people asking me if this is the line, yes this is the line, yes i'm waiting don't cut in front of me stop I was waiting i'm right here I"M RIGHT HERE

pretend to be a regular human at the cash don't stare don't chat too much don't be overly friendly enunciate don't stim

aah god i muttered and they didn't hear me shit I have to repeat myself sputtering aah DEBIT PLEASE NO RECEIPT THANK YOU OK BYE

rinse repeat on the way home

IT TOOK ME 34 years to get my diagnosis ahahaha shit lol

autism screening quizzes will be like “do you take things too literally” and then ask fifty of the worst-worded questions ever dreamt up by man

[shubbabang]

Shout out to everyone who is just so tired So so exhausted So very very tired so very fatigued so sleepy and tired So

[padamoosemakegirlmoosegowhaaa]

you know the phrase "head empty, no thoughts"? I always thought that was happening for me, but I realized the other day it's actually "head full of thoughts, I am not in control of any of them"

[hauntedbestie]

writing isn't happening but i think im too tired to start trying to learn to crochet but i can't just sit and watch tv either.

[herb-welch]

that stupid fucking clown

[sensitiveheartless]

One Summer Day

[cangrellesteponme]

wife

[timethehobo]

Scribbled on the flight home. One day more! 🥺

[vacantgodling]

ngl i get that people hype up hating writing for the bit but like. idk. yall i Do actually really like writing. it is so satisfying and fun and rewarding and i get to look back what i made over and over again and get joy every single time.

yes writing is hard but if you hate it more than you love it im kinda like. idk. find another hobby?

[tapakah0]

[jellynotbees]

The narilamb demons possessed me and I had to exorcise them via drawing them kissing or I wouldn’t be able to sleep

[haze-of-hyperfixations]

wait, hold on.

"i need you to always be devout, and comply with this, or we'll all die in this, okay?" was right before Eurylochus went against orders to open the bag. and Odysseus was right, people died for it.

and Eurylochus doesn't go against a direct order after that. because he's learned what happens when he does.

but then Odysseus orders him to light up six torches, and he does it without question. because why would he question it? Odysseus knows what he's doing, of course he does.

then six men die. and Eurylochus is faced with the truth that there is no way to avoid tragedy. all paths lead to the same end. rebel against your captain, your friends die because of you. follow orders, your friends die because of you. there's no escaping the death that follows them, and Eurylochus always ends up with unintentional blood on his hands. he's exhausted.

"Ody, we're never gonna get to make it home, you know it's true."

[pollyanna-nana]

Louie isn’t evil.

Or: what Pikmin 4 tells us about his character.

BIG WARNING FOR PIKMIN 4 SPOILERS! (and the rest of the series)

———

I want to preface this by saying that I am in no way trying to be the end-all, be-all of character interpretations, but Pikmin 4 to me, at least, confirms the suspicions I’ve had since playing Pikmin 2 and 3 all those years ago that Louie ISN’T secretly evil, or possessed, or whatever else. He’s just… Louie. And I think that’s interesting in and of itself.

1. Olimar himself vouches for him, and clearly doesn’t think he’s a bad person.

Say what you will, but I’m inclined to think Olimar is a decent judge of character. Clearly he’s worked with Louie for enough time to see that while he’s not very good at his job, he’s not intentionally so— at least not in a malevolent way (will get more into this later). He also wants you to forgive him for Olimar’s sake, which can be read as self-sacrificing (as Olimar is known to be) but I also think hints at the soft spot he has for Louie.

It's also worth noting that he states during a end-of-day conversation that he told Louie that, since he's a new employee, he should do everything Olimar does... including throw castaways into the onion. Interesting that Louie took this so literally, but it does provide an explanation for why he kidnapped the Koppaites beyond "he's evil and crazy".

2. He really, REALLY loves his grandma.

Like, wow. He talks about her SO MUCH both in his Piklopedia entries and also elsewhere in the game. It's interesting. Worth noting is that he never mentions any other family members- unlike Olimar, who talks about his wife and each of his children independently. I've said this before, but the content of a lot of these entries implies to me that Louie was mainly raised by his grandma, likely since birth. And given some of her emails in Pikmin 2, assuming they're also canon to Pikmin 4's timeline... Well, Louie certainly had an interesting upbringing. But he clearly loves her all the same.

3. He has a mischievous streak and tends to do things on impulse.

This was already fairly obvious from the previous games, but I think it's worth noting that this game confirms that he's... would immature be the right word? In any regard, he doesn't seem to see himself as a "grown-up"- when in all likelihood he is. Personally, as a 22-year-old, I find that pretty relatable as I often think of myself as younger when in reality I am by all definitions an adult. This, along with his grandma still being around, makes it pretty much certain that Louie is a lot younger than Olimar and the president, likely in his early to mid twenties. Being a bit of a goofball isn't really out of the ordinary, all things considered.

THAT BEING SAID, he's clearly capable of practicing self-restraint when he wants to. What he says here about the red Pikmin is pretty significant, since we know he's willing to eat just about anything- but clearly he has some reservations about creatures that are friendly and helpful. Which leads to...

4. He loves dogs and fluffy things.

Same. But he doesn't even consider eating Moss, Oatchi or the Ancient Sirehound, showing that his creature-eating habits stop at things he recognizes as useful. He clearly also holds affection for things that are soft and fuzzy, and says as much.

5. He is so autism.

He plays with fidget toys. He loves certain textures and sounds. This guy is stimming all over PNF-404!!! I think this also lends some explanation for why his behavior is what it is- things like taking Olimar's suggestion to do as he does super literally even after crashing on an alien planet, his hyperfixation on cooking and tendency not to communicate and incorrectly interpret situations (thinking the Koppaites are kidnappers in 3, running away from you in 4). He could even be low or no empathy as well, explaining why it takes a hot minute to get him to understand why people are upset with him about something.

Interestingly this game also makes it clear that Louie wants to live on the planet, or at least thought he did while you were chasing him down, which makes a lot of sense when you consider that he doesn't really seem to fit in back on Hocotate. I, too, wish to run away to an alien world with all of the things that I like and no other people, so I get you, Louie.

6. He hates his boss and his job, and the golden pikpik carrot incident was likely premeditated.

This probably looks bad, but honestly? As a fellow work-hating anti-capitalist schmuck I get it. The president is for all intents and purposes a huge asshole, from sending Olimar straight back to the planet after selling his ship to not caring that Louie got left behind, just wanting to find the rest of the treasures. I doubt he is very kind to his employees, and doesn't seem very good at running the business. Definitely a funny character, but if he were my boss I would absolutely want to punt him into the sun.

From some other entries he clearly wants to sell certain things to accrue money, but it's for things like getting better kitchen tools and following his dream to have his own cooking show. Clearly being a freight driver isn't what Louie actually wants to do with his life, and he could not give less of a shit about what happens to the company. Very short-sighted on his part, but also again, yeah I get you Louie.

7. He... doesn't like the color red for some reason.

Honestly, I'm not even really sure what to make of this. Is it because it reminds him of the Hocotate ship? Or does he just not like the color? Would be very interesting considering that it's Olimar's signature color. Perhaps that's at least part of why he attacks you in Pikmin 2- though that's speculation for another day.

Also funny to me is his comments on the black-colored treasures. We know blue is his favorite color, but I guess he's also a bit of a goth at heart. Lol.

In conclusion.

I think Louie isn't written or intended to be evil, and Pikmin 4's portrayal of him was intentionally written to confirm this. He's just, as some have said, an agent of chaos, but that doesn't make him a bad person. Just an autistic 20-something working a shitty job he doesn't care about, who loves his grandma and has a mischievous streak and a hyperfixation on food. At least from what I can interpret, ymmv!