#my brain does not work sorry

[neonliights]

constance was well-known among their hokey team, mainly as one of their player’s girlfriend. her boyfriend, jackson, was the troublemaker, womanizer, the guy who couldn’t keep a dick in his pants whenever they had a match in a different city. constance, the oblivious angel she was, always tried to show her support for the team ⎯ bringing them cupcakes, making banners, dressing as their biggest fan. it was cute, was it? a little redhead, waving from the crowd or visiting the locker to wish them luck. if she only knew what an asshole her boyfriend truly was, showing off her nudes, texting other girls behind her back like it was a sport of itself.

that evening constance showed up on the party wanting to celebrate their win, jackson already wasted making a fool of himself ⎯ per usual. constance was pretty tired of his rather annoying jokes, kind of making fun of her to prove something. just recently she started suspecting things are different than it seemed. she went straight to the only person she knew would be honest with her, the only person that actually warned her before her relationship even started. after finding asher outside she placed herself in front of him. “ be honest with me. “ she said knowing he wouldn’t hesitate to tell her the truth. / @neveraftcr​ 1/2

[toxxtt-kotlc]

song twins had middle school me in a CHOKEHOLD

[tatck]

I saw your bonus comic for the au and ended up speed reading the other pages because I was so invested in how you characterized tails and sonic and I absolutely adore the art you've made of them both akfhakfhs

AWESOME thanks :) here is a tails

[totally-italy]

I feel so stupid for literally asking for permission like an elementary school student needing to use the restroom, but could one of y'all please just ask me for my thoughts about Greek Mythology? I really want to go on a rant about how I think it was viewed at the time and would actually like to get into an intellectual conversation about it, but for some reason my brain is having a crisis and I would feel really bad if I went on such a rant if nobody asked or nobody cared.

[flowerakatsuka]

smoke break & a familiar customer

more fanart of @brofightiscancelled & @awittlebabbyboy's postgrad plan au! no matter what, i'll always be obsessed with kara and had to draw his au design. he's so cutes and weighed down by so much regret, i'm absolutely captivated by him.

also, since a certain someone rides a moped, i hope it's alright if they stop by his mechanic shop. 👉👈

[oneroomjestershow]

''He really should be the one being called 'angel' instead of me''

[harbingersglory]

Thoughts on transfem Ningguang with a fem!reader whose her bodyguard? Fem!reader whose like a loyal, protective dog out in the world when they're out and about together, but an utter submissive puppy behind closed doors for the Tianquan?

literally shaking like a chihuahua oh what i'd do to be the Tianquan's lap dog..mean femmes are so attractive its like putting my brain in a blender.

It's not surprising the Tianquan has a bodyguard. She's a key political figure in Liyue and anyone aiming to dismantle the carefully curated hierarchy has her at the top of the list. To the public, your just muscle to intimidate the lesser crooks from even thinking about it and deal with those who get too bold.

Behind closed doors, though? Your nothing but the Tianquan's lap dog at her beck and call.

She isn't fond of public displays, but she does like hiding it in public just for the thrill. Knowing you wear your collar under your uniform so you'll always remember who holds your leash is a thrill she can't beat.

She's a bit mean and sadistic, really, but she's the Tianquan. She has the money to spoil you like a good puppy afterwards..so long as you behave and exceed expectations. Whether you lean more dominant or submissive doesn't matter, since you'll probably be subbing whether your top or bottom. It's a different kind of thrill to make you sit on her lap, stuffed full of her cock, while she works. That or she has you under her desk, one hand fisted in your hair while she uses your mouth instead.

She has to be at the top of her game, after all, and her position is a stressful one. What better way to de-stress then to put her little puppy to good use? You're just so pliant when she orders you on your knees.

She keeps it tame if thats more your thing, but if you give her the go ahead she will buy you muzzles. Some just the standard muzzle, others with gags, plenty of collars and leashes for all sorts of occasions..she might even get you faux ears and a tail just for a little finishing touch.

She's just as big on aftercare, though. She puts her money to good use spoiling you, partially because she knows she can get a little rough with you. That and as much as she likes to call you her puppy, she won't have you smelling like a wet dog. Get in the bath.

You won't stay clean for long, especially because she absolutely goes all out on her tub so it's more then big enough for some extra activities, but it's better then nothing.

Sometimes, though, she just needs to be pampered herself. She adores body worship after a particularly stressful day. Just lounging in half tied silk while you worship every inch of her.

And if anyone notices you limping the morning after..they say nothing. They just chalk it up to a fight with some assassin or similar. And if they do know, they know better then to bring it up.

Bonus for being shared with Beidou when she drops by Liyue harbor. Nothing like a rowdy pirate to shake things up and make a mess of you on the Tianquan's bed while she watches.

[sysig]

Don’t be silly! Okay, be a little silly (Patreon)

[maximura]

[stressedanime]

when frank decides to propose to hazel, it takes him so long to actually do it. he wants it to be perfect, and he keeps psyching himself out so he just carries around the ring in his pocket for months, trying to figure out the best time to surprise hazel.

due to his nerves about making it the perfect proposal he has completely forgotten that hazel can in fact sense precious metals and has known the entire time that he has the ring.

[ratatatastic]

"hes got the ability to pound you into the wall" very normal thing to say about maffhew, ekky

[soup-of-the-daisies]

[opens fic] “moony has always been the smartest out of all of us” [closes fic]

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the picnic table scene

[divinelasso]

I couldn't nod or shake my head.

This person standing right in front of me... this person

who looked like Kieran, frightened me to my core.

version without text overlay

[passiveagressivepoet]

buddie season eight this buddie season eight that

eDDIE DOING LONG TERM INTENSIVE THERAPY SEASON EIGHT WHEN

[chimerahyperfix]

Run down your list. You are currently on your way to intercept the King, before he gets to the house. Whenever he gets there, it’s a bloodbath; metaphorically and physically. How many more times do you have to see everyone get frozen? See the King smash those who stand before him? You can’t see it again, you can’t you can’t you can’t, so you sneak out to face him instead. If he can’t get to the House, no one has to die, right? Simple as that. The endless night of his approach hangs right over Dormont, so you have to catch him, NOW.

You make a pit-stop at the Favor Tree anyway. It’s tradition at this point.

You did… something, here. Before you started looping. The hypothesis is that whatever you did at the Favor Tree caused the time loop you’re trapped in. You know you wished, a ton— at least ten times, or maybe twenty? All in as many different ways you could think of. Stretching outside the realm of how you know to wish. The desperation drove you to doing random things in hopes it would save you, and— well, it kinda has? You’ve doomed yourself for everyone else’s sakes.

That’s all well and fine enough, you rationalize. One person for many. Who knows what’ll happen if he actually takes the House; you don’t want to find that answer out.

The Favor Tree is huge. It’s a nice tree, lots of leaves, lots of shade. You could probably climb into its branches and never leave, get trapped in a web of tree bark and leaves like a cage, birds and squirrels and other such animals as your jailers. Maybe that wouldn’t be too bad. You could try that, next loop, if you failed here. You know you’ll fail, because nothing has worked so far. Your mind flashes with images of blood-stained floors, of screams both by and for many, many people. Hands reaching to you, hands reaching out.

Breathe. The memory fades away. Your hands curl into fists.

You depart, to fight the King. To stop the King.

———————

The King is very tall. A couple stories high, you’d reckon. He towers over you, the trees and everything else. The clearing you’ve stopped him in is very close to the House. Too close for comfort. Shouldn’t have stopped at the tree. Everything is swamped with the scent of burnt sugar.

He looks down at you— do you look like an ant to him? One singular ant? Wouldn’t that be interesting. A single blockade to the anthill, standing its ground. One mistake and he’ll turn you into a dark stain, or an icy statue. One mistake is all it’ll take for him to rip through the House like paper.

The Craft Bomb is heavy in your pocket. The backup potions, seven or eight of them, all in little tossable vials, toxic and burning and acidic, weigh down the other pocket of your lab coat. You remember drinking at least three of them. They all killed you. Painfully. Curse your desk for not being clean before you started looping. If you’d just taken a few minutes before you wished, so many deaths would’ve been avoided…

But that’s not important now. The fire in your throat, as imagined as it is now, still hurts. Your voice has taken an odd rasp to it now, the consequences of toxicity and blind reaching for water forever etched into your very being.

“How have you done it?” The King asks. You can’t see his eyes, past his endless, wild mane of hair and his gauntlets covering his face, but he sounds both confused and enraged.

You don’t answer, instead brandishing the bomb you worked so hard on. You made it in record pace, this loop. It too reeks of caramel.

The King simply moves a hand. You know what’s coming, and you move before he does. The curse of being so, so tall, is that you’re faster. The bomb goes flying, and you toss the potions all in one go for good measure before skittering out of the way. The King lunges for you as the bomb explodes, sending waves of fire and craft energy everywhere. Blinding, deafening. Its force knocks you to the ground.

He still moves, though. Not enough. Damn. Maybe you need two bombs… do you have the materials for a second one? You hope, as he swings his giant gauntlet down onto you to mash you like a bug, that he sees the weird shade your eyes have taken lately. A pair of blaring, dangerous warning signs.

You’re not scared anymore. This has happened many times.

You still scream.

His attack hits, and through the veil of absolute agony, there’s a tug on your stomach. Back to the drawing board.