#my blood is boiling rn
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pinkbutterflygaming · 1 year ago
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Okay, heads up before I say this, do note that I haven't had the courage to watch Wish myself in the nearby theatres due to what people have said (man, I almost did, but it comes much later in my place, and reviews went out first).
I will only be watching it on Disney Plus if it ever comes there if my family just so happens to be subscribed to it at the time, since I still want to see what went wrong in that movie myself (and go into instant denial of what the movie could've been).
I do have a rough idea about what happens from analysis videos and reviews, but let me know if I got something wrong.
So I saw this post a few days ago and was just randomly thinking about it, specifically the idea of the Princess Character was supposed to have a wish that's only half of the message, it is a wish that's also missing something for it to be complete.
Putting together the dots, I realized that this was actually the original purpose of "This Wish". It was SUPPOSED to be missing something.
And looking more into it, I realized what the original intended theme of Wish was in the concepts, and I am in shambles.
Wish's theme was originally about the importance of having your own wish. That it's okay to want something for yourself.
If I'm right about this, we weren't just robbed, they also burnt everything and nuked it. No way this didn't have any corporation meddling. They ruined what would've been a classic, not just with a love story, but with such a unique message when it comes to wishes and love.
Buckle yourselves up.
I personally love "This Wish", at least on its own anyway, listening to it a lot and just envisioning what the film could've been.
When thinking about it, I realized there was indeed something missing about "This Wish", something Asha is leaving out throughout the song.
Herself.
The song talks about Asha wishing for something more for her community for her people, but if you think about the lyrics closely, you realize that Asha actually leaves herself out of the equation, what she wants for herself out of all of this.
Looking back at what apparently happens in the film, this seems to be a constant running theme for Asha. Well, there was an attempt anyway.
So apparently, Asha is said to have "too caring" as a weakness, the Queen also says she is "generous", "cares for the people". What's even more striking is the fact that Asha seemingly doesn't even have a wish. And then she sings a wish for the people, but not for herself.
Yes, I have heard that this wasn't executed well, was shown through more words than actions. But this seems to be somewhat consistent enough that I can't help but think this is intentional...
What if that's originally supposed to be what sets up her character arc? A girl who thinks of the wishes and wants of others, but never what she wants for herself? A girl who is too selfless.
That's it. Maybe the reason why we don't get Asha learning from her weakness, or get a any closure on her character arc was because they have removed the very thing that was supposed to make her grow as a character.
The Starboy.
Yes, everyone is crying over the scrapped love interest, something we havent had in... 10 years? Me included. Dammit.
But perhaps what makes his removal more tragic is that it may have done more damage to the story than we thought, to the point it even destroyed the original theme of the story, and the character arc Asha was supposed to go through.
Because if I am right about Asha's character, then Starboy is exactly what she needed. She NEEDS a love interest for her to learn what's missing. Since her character revolves around selflessness, she needs a something that makes her wish for something for herself, something that makes her whole wish thing in the movie to be more personal. And perhaps, it takes love.
The film Tangled even touches on this concept a bit. Where in the end, Eugene says that Rapunzel has become his new dream, and Rapunzel says that he was hers.
"At All Costs" (demo ver.) isn't just some love song. It's actually the very song where Asha slowly realizes her own wish, a wish not for others, but also for herself. A wish for love. For Star. Maybe at this point she's still oblivious about her own wants, but this is the moment where in her heart, this is what she wants.
And interestingly, Star probably would've had the exact same character arc, despite possibly being the opposite to Asha in personality. He's the personification of a wishing star, someone who grants the wishes for others, but never something for himself. For the first time, through Asha, even stars can have wishes and wants of their own. There's a hint of that in this one line.
"If you ever told me the feeling you'd bring"
"I'd think it untrue."
This seems to describe how impossible the situation should've been for him, falling in love with a human.
"Leave you here, I don't want to..."
"I want to..."
"...Love you as one does"
And he doesn't want to leave.
Two characters, who live in servitude for others, learn the same lesson through their love for each other, that there's nothing wrong with wanting something for themselves. Love becomes their wish, their want.
And that's not a bad thing.
I read your post about this subject, a running theme in Disney is that you must have faith, be kind, and your wish is granted.
Asha is supposed to be a character who embodies this, she is supposed to be a character full of love and brings happiness for her people while also being a character of faith and supposedly with enough faith to wish on a star.
So she fulfills the criteria of getting a wish granted, making it all the more fitting that a Star is able to come down for her wish.
Yet ironically, she is actually missing her own wish.
Maybe that's a part of what the journey was supposed to be about. Star comes down, but not just to help Asha's people, but help her realize what her wish is so that it could be granted. The journey was supposed to be about Star trying to figure out Asha's wish while Asha tries to find out what is going on in the kingdom with Star's help (I personally think Asha found out Magnifico's schemes too early in the film).
Its interesting because the two having the same goal here is what leads to them learning the story's message. Two characters, trying to fulfill the wish of the other, forcing both to realize what they want for themselves.
I think this could be partly why Star was going to be a playful character loke Peter Pan, it's actually just him trying to understand what Asha wants, and thus, he tries to understand who Asha is. It's a star trying to understand a human being through his own wacky ways.
But through their journey, Star ends up being mesmerised by what he finds in Asha, and Asha is charmed by Star's antics and starts to understand who she is through him.
Having your own wants and needs is okay. Wishing something for yourself is okay.
But it's not some simple, one-sided message either, something that another movie (*ahem*, Raya) was heavily criticised for. This is where the original villains come in.
Remember how the villains were supposed to be Magnifico and Amaya together? A Villain couple? How that's clearly meant to be a juxtaposition to Star and Asha?
If Asha and Star is all about servitude for others, then maybe the Queen and King were supposed to be the opposite, representative of the lesson that Asha and Star eventually learns but taken to the extreme: the selfishness of love. Because love can be selfish and cruel too. (The subversion of what love has been depicted in so many Disney films)
"At All Costs" can have a double meaning. Such a title can have such negative connotations. When you pursue love no matter what, to the point you take away and even hurt those around you for it. They're the definition of "I will sacrifice the world if it means protecting you." kind of thing.
Remember how I said that Star and Asha represent the theme of selflessness by granting people's wishes rather than themselves?
And how in the film, Magnifico TAKES WISHES? Notice something there?
Asha and Star giving, Magnifico and Amaya taking?
Yep, it was all supposed to be a metaphor. Selflessness vs selfishness, giving away vs keeping to yourselves.
The wishes themselves weren't supposed to be the theme, they were probably originally a metaphor for the theme. They represent the wants of the people, Asha and Star serves for them, Magnifico and Amaya takes them away and keeps them for themselves.
This could've been such a unique take on the villains and also their villain song if they went this route. Instead of truly just going against the message, they would've served the second half of the lesson that Asha and Star needs, a warning of what would happen if you do follow the moral and taken it to the extreme. It's the kind of thing that another movie, Raya and the Last Dragon, needed when it came to their moral. This adds complexity to the story's theme. This gives that crucial balance that other films can miss.
Asha and Star would learn that its okay to not be so selfless all the time, but it is also through Magnifico and Amaya that they learn it's not okay to become purely selfish either. They can both serve the people around them while also have pursuing their own wants and needs.
And so, the villain couple gets defeated because they failed to change and grow like Asha and Star did. They never learn altruism, the importance of giving as well.
Oh goodness... imagine a scene where Star sacrifices himself for Asha, she cries for him, and instead of him saying something conforting to Asha, he goes "But I don't want to leave you..." like ALSJSKSNND. He gets resurrected because Asha's wishes for him to come back, and then happy ending but MAN.
And this whole message and theme? If you look at it more, you realize that this even has an underlying subtext about SELF-LOVE.
What a powerful, deep and complex message. If they had went with this and executed it correctly, we could've had a beautiful and most profounding story about the complexities of love, an instant Disney classic in this modern era, joining the ranks of the great movies this year.
And you know what... they threw it all away.
WIthout Starboy, it's all just gone. And they had to make another moral lesson for the movie because they can't do love stories now apparently????
It seems they still kept this "flaw" with Asha, because a character needs flaws.
But with Star being changed, they couldn't make her learn from it. They tried to keep this flaw, but they ended up making her personal life obsolete, because she's no longer allowed to have her own "wants" without going against this established character flaw. Which is funny, cause Wish seems to reveal her being being a bit selfish too. Nothing makes sense with every single trace of the "romantice love" themes being scrapped. She became a character with nothing for herself, and still nothing in the end.
WHAT.
Disney characters often if not, ALWAYS had an "I wish for this" song, they even emphasized the importance of this when making "This Wish".
But they were always something that the character wanted for themselves. The OG Disney Princess had "find true love" as wish for herself, and you're telling me Asha's character arc could've THAT as the point of her CHARACTER ARC???? Are you kidding me!?!?
Imagine, you write a story where the literal moral lesson of the story "it's okay to want to fall in love", the perfect way to bring it full circle, back to the first Disney Princess film, and then Disney just goes "NOPE, SCRAP IT"???
Its so tragic, and also HILARIOUS just thinking at the sheer irony of it all.
You DESTROYED such a beautiful message that also has a subtext of SELF LOVE, on learning that you can serve the the community better by realizing your own wants and needs first????? A subversion yet also a beautiful tribute to the previous Disney films that come before????
I SWEAR IF THIS WAS THE ORIGINAL INTENDED MESSAGE OF WISH, WALT DISNEY, YOU BETTER COME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW-
Disney doesn't need to change "the formula." That's the last thing that Wish proves.
What Wish proves is that "the formula" only works when you know why the ingredients are in it, and you use them the correct way.
The Princess Character is meant to wish for only half of the movie's message, and go through an adventure that teaches her what the other half is; what her dream was missing. Ariel dreamed of understanding but she was missing love. Tiana dreamed of achieving her goals but she was missing faith. Jasmine dreamed of freedom but she was missing trust. Belle dreamed of adventure but she was missing being understood.
The Villain is meant to highlight the opposite of the movie's message. Jafar gets what he wants through trickery and manipulation; that's the opposite of Aladdin's "truth will set you free" message, and he gets imprisoned in a lamp. Scar thinks being a King is having his way all the time and can't learn from his past of living in Mufasa's shadow; that's the opposite of The Lion King's "Let the past remind you of your responsibility to selflessness." Gaston loves only himself and is always obsessed with appearances; that's the opposite of Beauty & the Beast's "true love is found within a heart of self-sacrifice." That's what makes them such good villains. (and that clear direction is what drives good villain songs, since Magnifico's is what everyone is talking about)
The sidekick is supposed to compare/contrast with the main character's qualities. Abu is a greedy thief, which is what everyone in Agrabah thinks Aladdin is; when he scolds Abu and teaches him selflessness, it shows us who Aladdin actually is. Flounder is easily frightened and looks at the glass half-full; when Ariel coaxes him and leads by example, we see her bravery and positivity reflected in Flounder's tiny character arc. Timon & Pumbaa do whatever they want all day just like young Simba always dreamed of; when Simba goes to live with them, he finds that "getting his way all the time" makes him forget who he really is and feel empty.
The setting is supposed to show off the characters and highlight the movie's message. Rapunzel's tower is designed to be pretty on the inside because of her influence; if it were too dark and prison-shaped, we'd wonder why she didn't work up the courage to leave sooner. Just like how Quasimodo has made his corner of the bell-tower beautiful, too; they're taught the world is cruel and they're not strong enough for it, but they make their own worlds beautiful enough to hint that that's wrong right from the start. Ariel's grotto is shaped like a tower with no roof so that she only has one window to the forbidden Surface, and it's the light that comes from that forbidden world into her dark grotto which literally makes her able to see human things differently. Tiana's apartment has no interesting features except her father's picture, a perfectly made bed, a drawer with no extra outfits but stuffed with tip money, and only two dresses; both of which are for work.
None of that is happening in Wish, because they didn't know why the formula ingredients are there. Disney needs to understand and return to the formula the right way; forgetting it was what got them here.
Asha learns nothing to add to her dream, unless you count "the power to grant wishes is in me." Which you shouldn't, because we didn't even know she was confused about that until the animals sang a song that was completely off-topic and she had the chance to jump in and sing "I'm a Star!"
Magnifico does not demonstrate the opposite of Wish's message effectively because his character has nothing to do with a philosophy against making wishes, and everything to do with power. (He is the strongest character in the film. But because the message and core concept of what wishes are are so bad, that's not saying much.)
Valentino, and Asha's friends, do not highlight anything about her character through compare/contrast. Valentino is brave and all over the place. Her friends are seven-dwarfs parodies. Happy, Doc, Sneezy, Dopey, Bashful, Sleepy, Grumpy. None of that contrasts with Asha's vague characterization of "cares too much." None of it compares to that characterization, either.
The setting is empty. There are no interesting details that teach you something about any of the characters. None in Asha's home, none in the neat-and-tidy one-dimensional forest, none in the Rosas square, and none in the bland, empty castle. Magnifico's study is the closest anything gets; there's a loose concept that all of Asha's friends have to work together to open the roof, and take a leap of faith to weigh the pulley system down. Unfortunately, none of these characters is shown struggling to work together, OR to take leaps of faith, at all, before this point.
The ingredients of the formula are in Wish. They're just not being used correctly. This is how not to use the formula; it's not the formulas fault. If it ain't broke. They should never have let people convince them to try and fix it.
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jadedontaskwhytoo · 9 months ago
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mga vaklang twoah...
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egberts · 2 years ago
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the people borrowing passwords are not going to make new accounts and the people sharing passwords are going to delete theirs. like where was the focus group on this? did they pay any attention to social media backlash? like they really think this is THE money making move rn. embarrassing
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zeb-z · 1 year ago
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Leo leaving more concrete, tons of it, all at the titan, outside of every building in Roier’s city, and Bad and Bagi check everywhere but the dragon. Jaiden knowing she’s been an odd egg out, and Roier falling apart at the loss of his sister, and Forever saying it’s “just another sign” finding her message, and Mouse going as far as to say Foolish doesn’t care Leo’s gone, and I cannot take it anymore I’m at my limit
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twilight-good-yall-dumb · 3 months ago
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I have genuinely seen some of the most horrific takes on Liam Payne's death, and even though I don't often get controversial on this website, I'm about to.
First of all, labeling Liam Payne as nothing but some shitty abuser is such an obtuse observation. Obviously, I understand that the power of the internet has had a large part in this. People listen to whatever other people say without second thought or further research. So sure, if you hear from more than one person that Liam was this awful abuser, most people just take that on faith.
The problem is that it's so much more complicated than that. Firstly, a lot of the current information we have about Liam and his ex-fiancé is alleged. Not to say that it isn't true or that I don't believe her. That isn't the message I'm trying to get across at all, but still, it is alleged information, and it's coming only from her. Secondly, a ton of people have been massively misled because Maya released a FICTIONAL book that is supposedly "inspired" in part by her relationship with Liam, and people are taking instances from the FICTIONAL book and assuming they are true to life. Which is...unintelligent to say the least. Secondly, I've seen one account of a fan claiming she was "manipulated" into sending nude photos to Liam, but this fan was literally 25 years old. And according to her, there was no blackmail, threats, or serious pressure involved. We're not talking about naive 18 year old girls like I've seen people claim. And again, I've only been able to find this one account. This was not some kind of trend with him.
Again, my intention is not to blame any of these women or claim that they're lying. It is only to reiterate that other people have been exaggerating the evidence we actually have.
Secondly, the only thing Maya has outright claimed about Liam was his obsessive contact during and after the end of their relationship. She ordered a cease and desist to keep him from further contacting her and to try and put an end to the emotional abuse she had faced. This included him threatening suicide, obsessively apologizing, etc. Which to be entirely truthful, is manipulative and unacceptable behavior. That being said, it is also the behavior of, and a clear symptom of, his poor mental health and substance abuse issues.
Seeing people straight up say that they don't care that he died because the world is "better off without an abuser" or that women shouldn't mourn him because it's somehow anti-feminist to care about a man who has harmed a woman in any way is...such a crazy fucking take. Like I genuinely hope these people never come across somebody in their lives who is dealing with trauma, addiction, or mental health struggles, because holy shit that lack of compassion is crazy. Like, yes, he was not a great guy to Maya. He has literally admitted that in interviews before, admitted that because of his addiction and mental health issues that he has hurt people he loved. This is not behavior in any man that should be excused, but it is behavior that, in my opinion, can be forgiven if that man has the time to make amends.
Liam Payne was not Diddy. He was not a fucking monster. He was not the sort of man who seriously harmed and traumatized countless women. He was a man who was unwell and who made mistakes in his relationships. But as we've seen from so many of his loved ones in the last few days, to his core, Liam Payne was a kind person. He cared about his family, his friends, his son. He wanted people to be happy, to smile. He wanted to entertain people, to be there for people, and to be loved. He was a human. And he was a victim of the music industry. He was overworked, objectified, and commodified as a literal child, and then he was left on his own after spending his most formative years in an extremely high stress environment. I mean, honestly, the fact that any of the boys wound up somewhat stable is beyond my comprehension. There was bound to be at least one of them who struggled to adjust.
And so, to say that you don't care that he died, to say that the world is better off without him, is a wild fucking stance. To have so little empathy for somebody who was a victim himself, to care so little for somebody who brought love and joy to the lives of so many people, who left behind a seven year old son, is fucking cold hearted. Nobody is asking you to cry over a man who you have no personal connection to, and we're also not asking that any of his potential victims receive hate or blame. But that doesn't mean those of us who are grieving should have to hear discourse about your "morally superior" Liam Payne take.
Some of us just want to mourn somebody who was a massive pillar in our lives, who brought us joy in dark times. Who, because we cared, we worried about for years. Not all 1D fans are the same in this regard, but I never hated Liam. I never blamed him for any of the foolish things he said in interviews. I understood his actions as those of somebody struggling, of somebody who was calling out for help, who needed that help, who needed support. Liam Payne, had he lived longer, could have become the man that he wanted to be, that everyone close to him knew he was capable of being. He'd been to rehab, he'd had periods of sobriety. He was working on himself. He was slowly getting better. So yes, I am mourning for the man that he was, not just the boy in the band, but the man he was working towards becoming. I am mourning for the man who made silly videos during Covid that helped me get through the monotony. I am mourning for the man who took silly selfies that made me laugh. I am mourning for the man who was talented beyond belief or recognition. I am mourning for the man who wanted to be loved and accepted so badly, and who the rest of the internet treated like SHIT for years before his death. Which, by the way, almost always had nothing to do with serious allegations but rather actions that the internet deemed "cringe."
I am so tired, and so upset.
None of the women who are mourning Liam's death are "betraying their own sex" or whatever else some of you seem to believe. They are simply exercising a thing called empathy. Try it out sometime!
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broadway-and-books-love · 8 months ago
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I’m gonna say something controversial, but maybe Bridgerton wouldn’t have felt the need to rush Penelope and Colin’s season to screen if the show had a cable release schedule.
The show said they pushed Polin to season 3 because they felt audiences were getting impatient to see their love story resolved, which may be true, but they wouldn’t be so antsy after only two seasons if there weren’t two years between each of them. Yes, season 2 had to wait on COVID, and season 3 had to wait on the writer’s/actor’s strike, but they’ve said that season 4 will come out 2026 at best without any exterior obstacles, and they’ve just now convened the writer’s room (after season 3’s full release). I don’t watch many Netflix shows, but seeing as this is how they operate with TV, I don’t know how many people are going to continue sticking around for what will be an 8-season show (if they’re allowed to finish) with two years between everything when they’re already expressing discontent over the fact they have to wait so long, and often forget characters’ names and arcs but are unwilling to rewatch the entire show every time just to remember what happened one season ago. Audiences are finally reaching the point where they’re unsatisfied with 8 episodes every two years (often, in many show’s cases, with half an hour or less per episode), and with shows like Bridgerton losing production quality and poorly handling the source material (see: keeping Penelope and Colin’s core conflict over her being Lady Whistledown, but removing the context around it and providing a weaker argument, or having Francesca fall for Michael/a while being married to John, inadvertently playing into biphobic stereotypes and harming both characters’ love for John and their grief over his eventual death/guilty feelings for falling in love once he’s gone).
While there are things I love that the show changed (making the Bridgerton men much more appealing love interests, adding Queen Charlotte and her miniseries, creating a relevant but not central storyline regarding race equality in alternate England, LGBTQ+ rep, and, more recently, giving Lady Danbury more backstory), the main storyline has started suffering, especially in season 3. I’m not saying 22-episode shows with yearly releases don’t also decline over time, but they also aren’t expected to garner a massive following immediately upon release or face cancellation - or, if they are widely popular, to string fans along for far longer than necessary to retain subscribers for less, subpar content.
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maydaydiaz · 8 months ago
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💔
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girlivealwaysbean · 6 months ago
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just found out that instead of my mom my fucking shitass dad is coming home FOR A WEEK
#ugh i really want to kill someone rn im so mad#why can't he just fucking leave us alone#i know he used to be home 24/7/365 days just a year ago but istg it took us no time to adjust to life without him#now he comes home for like 2 days and my blood starts to boil i can't bear him he's so fucking irritating and interfering#mom coming home would have been relaxing finally burden free after 15 days#now the burden will be double tripled he's such a fucking lazy slob he can't even get his own glass of water#and he'll sleep in our room because it has ac UGHHHHHHHJHH it's so yuck i won't have a minute to myself and my mental health will decline#even MORE than it already has like if that's even possible#and he doesn't take his fucking meds so he's all weak and sick and lazy and he expects us to coddle him#well you know what fuck him im not even going to pretend to be happy that he's here or be nice to him and try to make him feel welcome#he broke this family up and it's going to stay broken up forever so fuck himmmm#and i have a freaking 750 ml bottle of vodka lying in my dresser what the fuck do i do with it now huh?????#it's only like 1/4th empty 3/4th is still full#and it's my sisters birthday on 26th and they'll both be here ugh i was sooo looking forward to actually celebrating with her#now she'll feel miserable and horrible and it'll be JUST like every other birthday she's spent at home#fucking grand#ugh god i sooo do not want to cook dinner for 4 people im so sick of this#and he isn't even satisfied with dinner he fucking eats like 4 times a day he wants a hot breakfast and lunch and evening snack and dinner#man i hope something happens to him and he isn't able to come🙏🙏 god if you're real 🙏🙏🙏🙏
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gurorori · 1 year ago
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good morning i have smth mean to say
anyway how is evryone ❤️
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taylorsabrina · 7 months ago
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the female rage is female raging because i was curious to see what happens when you search "sabrina carpenter" on ebay, only to find that there are already listings for signed short n' sweet vinyls starting at $85+?? how the hell is that even possible???!!
(@safeandsound take my hand, we ride at dawn)
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ambrosiadreamer · 1 year ago
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i think that youtubers, streamers, social media influencers, and any other person online with an even REMOTELY sizable platform have a responsibility to use that platform to speak out against things like israel's genociding/ethnic cleansing of palestinians. to condemn it wholeheartedly and be VOCAL about how abhorrent and sickening it is. how we ALL need to speak up and NEVER let israel's war crimes fade from the public eye. i think hiding behind the statement "i don't like to bring up politics in my content" is an absolutely pitiful "excuse." this isn't a fucking political issue. this is the mass slaughter of hundreds of thousands, if not every single one of the MILLIONS of people who reside in palestine, gaza, and any other place else that has been, or currently is being, targeted by israel. i hope that it forever haunts their conscience that their silence contributes to this fucking genocide. even the creators that i love.
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djarinova · 8 months ago
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seeing someone from secondary school post an Instagram story with 'i hate it here' from ttpd playing ... why i outta...
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hylaversicolor · 1 year ago
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i don't get involved in internet discourse anymore but do you ever see a take that misses the mark so badly and that you KNOW is wrong from literal personal experience but because it is worded in a particular way you know people on here will eat it up
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wishchthumblr · 8 months ago
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on todays episode of "mental health issues that could easily be solved by one single thing that i dont have", GET A MICROWAVE!!!
i just know SO many of my eating related issues (not all obviously but a LOT of them) would be solved if this house just had a goddamn microwave
today i ate like... 1/4th of those small frozen pizzas, 1/3rd of a grilled cheese, and 1/3rd bowl of macaroni and meatballs. and yall wanna know why i didnt eat the whole thing of any of them? its cause my stupid adhd ass took too long to eat and the food got cold. and then i Cannot Eat That anymore. so even though i was still hungry i didnt eat the rest of it and just went back to rotting on youtube shorts and being too hungry to do anything and feeling dumb and unproductive and being guilty of making food that i dont eat. just... feeling like a big ol' waste
but the thing is, if i just
✨owned a microwave✨
i could just reheat the motherfucking food and still eat it and not feel like ive wasted that food. ((because since that food is wasted i feel guilty about making it, so i dont make any more food until next meal time, but then i didnt finish that either cause im stupid and eat too slow.))
but we dont have a microwave. only an oven. and yeah maybe i couldve reheated the 3/4th pizza or the grilled cheese in the oven, but then again the oven uses a lot of electricity. and my mom is always complaining that i turn the oven on, forget that its on for a while, and that im wasting electricity. and i was too tired and hungry to deal with that possibility. plus with the oven theres a chance i forget it too long or have it too hot and burn the food and that would just make me feel worse
but we dont have a microwave, because my mom thinks having a microwave leads to "eating more unhealthy foods that you just heat up" instead of "real food". so i didnt reheat any of my food. so i didnt eat it. it got to the point where it got cold and gross so i just threw it in the trash and hope my mom or grandma doesnt notice.
but if i had a microwave, i couldve reheated that food. and i couldve eaten it. ((and yeah, maybe i wouldnt have ate the whole thing, but maybe half at least? that counts right? well it dont really matter if it counts or not cause it didnt happen.))
and then maybe i wouldnt have been feeling like im gonna faint the whole day and maybe i wouldve gotten literally anything done instead of just scrolling on pinterest and youtube shorts for hours and feeling worthless. and maybe if i ate i wouldnt have hurt myself today
but nope. no microwave. it leads to "unhealthy" habits. i guess not eating enough to count as even ONE full meal is healthier since its not "microwave food"
thanks mom
#tw eating issues#tw self harm#btw to my irl friends. if you see this no you did not#sorry honey if you see this. cause i know you like my mom and think shes really nice#which she is!! most of the time aha#the hurting myself happened bc i usually have sprinkled cheese on my macaroni and meatballs#but i used all the cheese in the sandwich that i binned#which made me feel like such a fucking idiot and a waste#so i started crying#and i took the metal lid from the boiling macaroni pot and pressed it to me leg for like 10 seconds straight#fun fact: im really good at muffling any sound when im in pain. haha#it didnt feel like enough though. my knife drawer had stuff infront of it but theres a loose screw on my table#so i ripped that across my skin a couple times#some blood came out but not “enough” pain#so then i had the very strong urge to hurt MORE#and intrusively imagined what id be like to take a knife and drive it into my stomach#which was a little shocking cause i havent had THAT thought in a while#AND THEN i remembered i have my swedish final on monday and i have to make a speech and i havent even chosen a topic yet#and that ill have to meet the swedish teacher that is the reason for the only times i have ever cried or cut at school#and then i had another like... daydream hallucination thing about telling my asshole swedish teacher#that the reason i dont have a speech is cause i realised id see him on monday and wanted to kms :3#kinda still feel like cutting and i scratched myself with the sharp screw a bit more but at least venting about this helped a little#yall if i look my teacher in the eyes and tell him he makes me want to kms and that his behavior and attitude HAS made me cut myself#and that i pray to god he treats his own children better than he treats his students#think hed let me skip the test? yes or no?#god i feel so dizzy rn#but i dont wanna make more food and have to throw it away. i wish we had snacks in this house#wish’s whispers#personal vent#this was a lot of tags aha
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hiorintruther · 2 years ago
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So, uh, Hiori protection squad anyone?
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subsequentibis · 10 months ago
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it's my fault for going back to read the tmbw interpretations page but goddddd i'm so mad every time i read an interpretation that's like 'well this can't happen in real life so it must all be a delusion or hallucination or the singer is on drugs or dying' it's SO boring as an interpretation. pleeeease just accept the premise of the world the song is presenting to you and engage with it on its own terms, you'll come away with a far more interesting and meaningful message i prommy
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