#again apologies to my twilight mutuals but this is consuming my brain atm just ignore it lol

[twilight-good-yall-dumb]

I have genuinely seen some of the most horrific takes on Liam Payne's death, and even though I don't often get controversial on this website, I'm about to.

First of all, labeling Liam Payne as nothing but some shitty abuser is such an obtuse observation. Obviously, I understand that the power of the internet has had a large part in this. People listen to whatever other people say without second thought or further research. So sure, if you hear from more than one person that Liam was this awful abuser, most people just take that on faith.

The problem is that it's so much more complicated than that. Firstly, a lot of the current information we have about Liam and his ex-fiancé is alleged. Not to say that it isn't true or that I don't believe her. That isn't the message I'm trying to get across at all, but still, it is alleged information, and it's coming only from her. Secondly, a ton of people have been massively misled because Maya released a FICTIONAL book that is supposedly "inspired" in part by her relationship with Liam, and people are taking instances from the FICTIONAL book and assuming they are true to life. Which is...unintelligent to say the least. Secondly, I've seen one account of a fan claiming she was "manipulated" into sending nude photos to Liam, but this fan was literally 25 years old. And according to her, there was no blackmail, threats, or serious pressure involved. We're not talking about naive 18 year old girls like I've seen people claim. And again, I've only been able to find this one account. This was not some kind of trend with him.

Again, my intention is not to blame any of these women or claim that they're lying. It is only to reiterate that other people have been exaggerating the evidence we actually have.

Secondly, the only thing Maya has outright claimed about Liam was his obsessive contact during and after the end of their relationship. She ordered a cease and desist to keep him from further contacting her and to try and put an end to the emotional abuse she had faced. This included him threatening suicide, obsessively apologizing, etc. Which to be entirely truthful, is manipulative and unacceptable behavior. That being said, it is also the behavior of, and a clear symptom of, his poor mental health and substance abuse issues.

Seeing people straight up say that they don't care that he died because the world is "better off without an abuser" or that women shouldn't mourn him because it's somehow anti-feminist to care about a man who has harmed a woman in any way is...such a crazy fucking take. Like I genuinely hope these people never come across somebody in their lives who is dealing with trauma, addiction, or mental health struggles, because holy shit that lack of compassion is crazy. Like, yes, he was not a great guy to Maya. He has literally admitted that in interviews before, admitted that because of his addiction and mental health issues that he has hurt people he loved. This is not behavior in any man that should be excused, but it is behavior that, in my opinion, can be forgiven if that man has the time to make amends.

Liam Payne was not Diddy. He was not a fucking monster. He was not the sort of man who seriously harmed and traumatized countless women. He was a man who was unwell and who made mistakes in his relationships. But as we've seen from so many of his loved ones in the last few days, to his core, Liam Payne was a kind person. He cared about his family, his friends, his son. He wanted people to be happy, to smile. He wanted to entertain people, to be there for people, and to be loved. He was a human. And he was a victim of the music industry. He was overworked, objectified, and commodified as a literal child, and then he was left on his own after spending his most formative years in an extremely high stress environment. I mean, honestly, the fact that any of the boys wound up somewhat stable is beyond my comprehension. There was bound to be at least one of them who struggled to adjust.

And so, to say that you don't care that he died, to say that the world is better off without him, is a wild fucking stance. To have so little empathy for somebody who was a victim himself, to care so little for somebody who brought love and joy to the lives of so many people, who left behind a seven year old son, is fucking cold hearted. Nobody is asking you to cry over a man who you have no personal connection to, and we're also not asking that any of his potential victims receive hate or blame. But that doesn't mean those of us who are grieving should have to hear discourse about your "morally superior" Liam Payne take.

Some of us just want to mourn somebody who was a massive pillar in our lives, who brought us joy in dark times. Who, because we cared, we worried about for years. Not all 1D fans are the same in this regard, but I never hated Liam. I never blamed him for any of the foolish things he said in interviews. I understood his actions as those of somebody struggling, of somebody who was calling out for help, who needed that help, who needed support. Liam Payne, had he lived longer, could have become the man that he wanted to be, that everyone close to him knew he was capable of being. He'd been to rehab, he'd had periods of sobriety. He was working on himself. He was slowly getting better. So yes, I am mourning for the man that he was, not just the boy in the band, but the man he was working towards becoming. I am mourning for the man who made silly videos during Covid that helped me get through the monotony. I am mourning for the man who took silly selfies that made me laugh. I am mourning for the man who was talented beyond belief or recognition. I am mourning for the man who wanted to be loved and accepted so badly, and who the rest of the internet treated like SHIT for years before his death. Which, by the way, almost always had nothing to do with serious allegations but rather actions that the internet deemed "cringe."

I am so tired, and so upset.

None of the women who are mourning Liam's death are "betraying their own sex" or whatever else some of you seem to believe. They are simply exercising a thing called empathy. Try it out sometime!