#my best friend told me she didnt want to be in my life anymore lol

[125storejuice]

So I'm legitimately getting back into things now, and I'm pretty excited ! I ended up having some more stuff happen that put me in a dark place for a while, but I am finished being in that place !! And ready to show the internet my naked body !!

[thebirdandhersong]

Lol

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙no saving u | LS2˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: logan sargeant x piastri!reader y/n (she/her)

genre: social media au, break up, brother's best friend/childhood friends to lovers

warnings: trigger warning many max verstappen mentions unfortunately /j

summary: in which they are pulled together following a particularly messy crash during the last race of the season and an even messier break up

a/n: i got this plot as a request and i love it ahhh i linked the request below!!! hope u guys enjoy i lowkey luv writing logan fanfic especially when max loses something 😆

request!!!: max is getting too cocky and dangerous on the track and he knows you disagree with his antics which causes tension between you, he continues his dangerous streak even though he’s just had the pit lane rules changed for abu dhabi and ends up crashing into logan during fp2, you’ve had enough of max putting himself and others in danger whilst he’s on an ego trip and rush to check on logan after he’s been taken safely from his car and end up going to the hospital with him (you’re childhood friends because he did karting and f3 with your brother), you leave max that night and end up spending more time with logan as he recovers, the summer is spent exploring your new relationship and you go public when you’re spotted in his paddock in 2024, max is humiliated beaten by the worst driver on the grid in his opinion, he’s finally humbled, you could also maybe have logan doing better as he’s had an opportunity to be involved with the cars development, and he even gets a couple podiums in his sophomore year :)

my masterlist

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, and 47,038 others

yourusername life lately:)

view all 2,012 comments

maxverstappen1 the true artwork is you!

oscarpiastri cringeee

danielricciardo he's trying

yourusername max verstappen most bullied f1 driver on the grid

logansargeant assuming we will see you in the williams garage in abu dhabi

maxverstappen1 no!

alex_albon it's our turn

oscarpiastri nope it's our turn

yourusername shame it's none of you lot's turn. you will see me in mercedes perhaps

lewishamilton i always win

georgerussell63 😊

user1 y/n x f1 2023 grid interactions are my absolute favourite

twitter ->

whatsapp ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted stories

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 10,384 others

maxverstappen1 wont you swing by?

yourusername yes of course hehe i will come see you before free practice 🧡

alex_albon u didnt cheat but ur still a traitor

yourusername 🐱

twitter ->

whatsapp ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by lilymhe, oscarpiastri, and 12,321 others

maxverstappen1 you are ignoring me

yourusername i just dont want to talk right now

maxverstappen1 why? you didnt even see if i was okay

yourusername i knew you were okay

yourusername im just very upset and angry it wouldn't be productive to see you right now

maxverstappen1 you are not coming back to the hotel?

yourusername no so dont wait up, i'll see you tomorrow

maxverstappen1 okay i am sorry y/n

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, landonorris, and 64,734 others

yourusername im only welcome in one garage now

view all 3,294 comments

logansargeant this is literally false information

lilymhe she knows where she should be

landonorris im so lucky i get to see y/n before every race now

oscarpiastri you literally told her she stinks like 5 min ago

yourusername oh great thanks maybe im not welcome anywhere

mclaren we love you y/n

liked by yourusername

mercedesamgf1 you know where to find us y/n

liked by yourusername

user11 the caption...... is this a break up confirmation bc she isnt welcome at rb garage anymore

user12 i love how all the teams fight over her lol

f1wagupdates

liked by yourusername, user10, and 13,384 others

f1wagupdates we are gathered here today to mourn the alleged death of f1 couple max verstappen and our favourite aussie y/n piastri. please leave your respects below 🙏 we are celebrating with some of our favourite maxy/n moments!

tagged: yourusername, maxverstappen1

view all 3,283 comments

user13 wag death 🙏

liked by yourusername

user14 one of my favourite couples😢

user15 dont cry coz it's over.....

user16 this has rattled me

user17 the caption CELEBRATING? Hahahah

f1wagupdates whoops freudian slip

user18 😭 i will never know peace

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by lilymhe, carmenmmundt, and 8,743 others

carmenmmundt dodged a bullet 100%

yourusername then why does it feel like i got hit anyway 😐

carmenmmundt you are so strong y/n/n

yourusername somehow it's worse because he would have me back if i asked lol

carmenmmundt omg he has no idea what he lost .. you are going to be thriving whilst he is flopping by next season i promise

yourusername i hope ur right 😀

logansargeant

liked by yourusername, alex_albon, and 24,924 others

logansargeant vacation time 🏝️

tagged: yourusername, oscarpiastri

view all 4,283 comments

yourusername vacay vacay

oscarpiastri baecay baecay

yourusername ur so weird

oscarpiastri noo hahahh ..

user19 "baecay" what does that mean 🤔

user20 not oscar shipping his best friend & sister together 💀

user21 love seeing y/n hanging out with everyone now instead of being hidden away in max's dungeon

yourusername DUNGEON i just shrieked

user22 😀😀😀 im fine

danielricciardo

liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 284,929 others

danielricciardo woohoo woohoo woohoo

tagged: yourusername, lilymhe, landonorris, alex_albon, oscarpiastri

view all 13,294 comments

user23 omg more y/n x grid content

yourusername yoohoo

danielricciardo hi y/n

yourusername hey 😄

lilymhe my fav ppl

landonorris should we all give up our seats and hang out 24/7 instead

alex_albon no

danielricciardo no

oscarpiastri no

yourusername yea yay!

lilymhe yes wahoo

user24 i wish i was their friend

user25 max verstappen found dead

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 454,183 others

charles_leclerc what we've been up to

view all 17,064 comments

user26 y/n & charles taking a flight together🥹

user27 omg she is everywhere loll

yourusername exposing my weird airline meal

charles_leclerc still dont know what it was

oscarpiastri lol flying with y/n/n is an experience

user28 who is y/n dating im confused ??

user29 no one her & max just broke up but she's oscar's sister so she's always been friends with a lot of the grid

alexandrasaintmleux i can't believe u saw y/n without me

yourusername 😭 i miss you

alexandrasaintmleux get on a plane now

yourusername i genuinely will

charles_leclerc dont steal my gf

twitter ->

whatsapp ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by lilymhe, carmenmmundt, and 14,204 others

lilymhe oh hello

yourusername 👀

carmenmmundt excuse meee mrs

yourusername perhaps you were right

carmenmmundt not surprised

logansargeant

liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername, and 27,924 others

logansargeant ...where should we go next?

view all 4,193 comments

user33 looks like y/n .. anyone else?

user34 that is deffo y/n

user35 why would we assume y/n is dating logan everyone has been posting them hanging out with her lately

danielricciardo go to japan

liked by logansargeant

user36 aww daniel giving travel advice

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, charles_leclerc, and 18,204 others

yourusername new favourite place

tagged: logansargeant

view all 6,283 comments

user37 omg not them going to japan because daniel told them to

user38 i rly think logan & y/n are an item

user39 aww she is having so much fun since the breakup

danielricciardo did not expect u guys to actually go where i said

yourusername we were feeling crazyy & impulsive

oscarpiastri come home im bored

yourusername make some friends

oscarpiastri why make friends when i have u

user40 lol i love their sibling relationship

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and 4,294 others

carmenmmundt omg this is giving hard launch

yourusername 😭 this is special circumstances

logansargeant couldn't have done it without you

twitter ->

instagram—

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, carmenmmundt, and 17,294 others

yourusername bahrain bahrain p.s he was tired after getting p3

tagged: logansargeant

view all 7,294 comments

oscarpiastri just got the strongest urge to bully you for this post

yourusername u hate to see a girl win!! ur a misogynist or something

landonorris u didnt win anything y/n

logansargeant she won my heart actually

oscarpiastri omg.... lose my number.

yourusername lose ur seat!!! ur a b word

user44 not them arguing over literally nothing

mclaren we're on your side, y/n

yourusername i will always be a mclaren girl!

user45 lol y/n x grid interactions own my heart

user46 i love her relationship with mclaren in general

twitter ->

whatsapp ->

instagram ->

logansargeant

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 32,294 others

logansargeant me and my gf in murica

tagged: yourusername

view all 11,284 comments

yourusername 🦅

oscarpiastri you hate america

yourusername no need to mention that rn

logansargeant ???

lilymhe never been so happy

liked by yourusername, logansargeant

carmenmmundt i told you so, y/n

yourusername you did :)

logansargeant dont know what you told her but thanks 👍

user48 AHHHH i love y/n

logansargeant you and me both

yourusername WHAT?

oscarpiastri that's my sister bro

user48 omg what did i start

alex_albon oh shit

logansargeant urmmmm

yourusername i love you too 😜

carmenmmundt 🥰🥰

THE END 🤍

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas! i hoping you might be able to give me some advice?

my best friend and i have been friends our whole lives (i just turned 24 two weeks ago, she's turning 24 in two weeks) but ive been have some upsetting feelings about the friendship. i love her so, so much and i know beyond doubt that the feeling is overwhelmingly mutual and there's nothing in the world that could ever change that. i feel very lucky to have a relationship like that, and i feel bad for feeling unsatisfied in some ways with our friendship? we only ever hang out when i ask to which means i can usually count on one hand the amount of times i see her in a whole calendar year lol, we don't talk much and when we do its usually me initiating (again) about stuff about my life and i dont hear much about hers in return (to the point that, she's having a baby next month (!!) and i only learned their name from overhearing someone else's conversation, i only learned the baby room theme the same way, she didn't ask me to help with her gender reveal (nor did she tell me beforehand (which is genuinely so fine, but literally everyone in attendance was surprised that i didnt know so i ended upset about it anyways) or her baby shower (she also didn't include me in any plans or keep me in the loop about anything when she got married a few years ago). ive talked to her so many times about how im feeling about our friendship and how much id liked to be as close as we used to be, if you're claiming im your best friend how on earth am i not worth being told your babies name? she never even told me names they were thinking of. nothing ever comes out of talking to her about it, she expresses sympathy and gets better about things for a minute but then by the next week its exactly back to how it was. shes always been like this to some degree, even when we were closer, but its been getting unbearable now that were out of school and don't live in walking distance of each other anymore. i know having your friendships tested is just a general part of growing up and im just as a fragile age, but im really tired of feeling like i have to beg and plead to have a place in her life; but i don't ever want to completely cut her out of my life so im trying to adapt and content myself with this new dynamic. but since she's about to have a baby all i can think about is how that kid is going to grow up barely knowing who i am and i dont know how to get over that.

oh my god you are living my life lol

I honestly have been through something so similar.

I guess the thing I realized is that some people are able to give you different things at different times in their lives. And expecting them to give you more when they can't/aren't willing to is just hurting you, you know? It sounds like right now, this friend just can't give you more. Not in a malicious way, they just can't. So then the question is, are you willing to give them amount you are giving, only getting what you're getting, or do you want to put that effort into some other people too?

It's okay to decide to put less into a friendship if you're not getting what you need. (It's also okay to be the one putting more in RIGHT NOW, if you know they need that. Obviously, there are times in life (loss, breakups, pregnancies) when friends need more than they can give.) But since it seems like it is usually you putting more in, I wonder what it would feel like if you pulled back a bit?

Naming you 24 anon

[setsunatekiblast]

sorry this is like fully just insane babble and a look into truly how fucking weird i am in the head im really considering making a blog JUST for venting but im too lazy to do that rn

so like general rundown for context

i did some really downright shitty things as a teenager as a result of unresolved trauma in basically every corner of my life at the time (obviously this doesnt absolve me from what happened). when i was told about the extent of it i apologised and distanced myself & never talked to anyone involved ever again.

months later when i expressed that a former friend who had (in my opinion, rightfully) stepped in to stop the situation from worsening had caused me harm prior to all this and that it was still impacting me on my private account, it was leaked to her. i was threatened with a callout post and she was acting like i wasnt truly sorry for the things i'd done/trying to change even though i had done my level best to be accountable for my behaviour and do what was asked of me.

because of everything that'd already happened + this i was living in this constant state of severe anxiety. as in, i could hardly eat due to feeling nauseous every moment i was conscious, would randomly start shaking and crying & my physical health was deteriorating at many points. i was like this from about july all the way through to november-early december, i think?

like all of this happened five years ago but ive absolutely refused to let myself move on because i thought i would be dodging accountability for my behaviour but i've kind of just had a mental shift recently (maybe from my kansai trip i think it did something to me). looking back while talking to my friend i internalised everything about that series of incidents so hard that i considered myself a horrible and irredeemable person, so ive been keeping myself at arms length from others because i didnt want it to happen all over again and didnt trust myself to actually change. i thought that if i was pursuing relationships with others, i wasnt being accountable enough and dodging my past behaviour.

idk im just tired of living like this. im tired of all the self-sabotage and the fear and anxiety i have over the most minor of things. i'm tired of jumping up and running at the first signs of closer friendships forming. i had a panic attack over someone calling me a friend for gods sake, that's not normal. its not! the fact i even struggle to call people friends because of all this fear about relationships with others after all that isn't good and i need to change from that lol

even just thinking that i deserve better makes me feel like im swallowing needles and glass though, and it sucks so fucking much LMFAOOOOOOO. i dont even know what to do because i feel so shitty about even trying to pursue support from those closest to me. i feel like i'm asking so, so much of people when i cant give much of anything in return. not to mention that right now even the idea of being misunderstood makes me feel absolutely terrible and like i need to be on the defensive. in general i feel like i offer so little that trying to lean on people is selfish and that i'm just going to end up hurting them like i did that friend who simply just wanted to help me. i don't want to feel this way anymore but it's a cycle and i don't know how to stop feeling so horrid about everything and actually. well. allow myself to feel supported AND be normal in the head about it

like i need to move on not just for my sake but because. really. it's been such a long time and i don't even recognise the person i was in those messages. but i can hear just how much pain my past self was in and that just sucks, man. my friend didn't want me to suffer, but he was rightfully hurt and angered by the way i behaved. the best way to show my remorse has always been to do better by those who come into my life, but i never wholly succeeded in that because 90% of the time i would sabotage my own relationships with others and not get too close out of fear that i was going to ruin it all and just be as shitty as i was before. i thought closing myself off would be doing right by him, and to a degree it was. but it wasn't productive for me because i wasn't doing anything but closing myself off

anyway i handled something pretty good tonight that i know my past self wouldve probably flipped out about so that's probably a good sign i guess. its actually kind of surprising to see that even though my spoons are maybe a 1 at best rn i can still handle things with some grace and tact and Not be terrible. idk. maybe things are gonna be okay, especially since i have so many people in my corner nowadays who want nothing more than to see me overcome everything

[skiasurveys]

What does the shirt you are wearing look like?   its a grey oversized tshirt that says "All roads lead to rome" lol

What was the last thing that stressed you out or upset you?   school. I have like 9 assignments to do this week.

How do you stay positive with all that life throws at you?   I... don’t.  <- same

What quality do you admire most in other people?   being actually loyal.

What is the highest level of physical pain you have ever been in? rate 1-10   tw// abuse: probably when I got hit by my ex

...same question, but with emotional pain?   -- abuse

What is your most prized possession?   my macbook, it has all my stuff on it lol

Which youtuber do you feel like you could be friends with easily?   i feel like safiya and tyler, and maybe Molly Burke.

Do you like your natural hair color?   its alright. its brown.

Do you think you will dye your hair when you start going gray?   i was thinking this the other day.. maybe.

Are you pale right now, or do you have a tan?   pale

Do you think you look best with a tan?   yeah

What is your favorite app on your phone?   Twitter, Spotify, Tik Tok even tho that app is a curse, and Tumblr

How old were you when you got your first smartphone?   I was 14 I think

Do you ever meditate on Scripture?   sometimes actually

Are you living a life you want to escape from? or do you love your life?   im just living.

When was the last time you felt that life was good?   when i was manic

Do you have one big mistake that you've made that you want to fix?   not anymore. I made mistakes, but it got me to where I needed to be.

Do you wish people would forgive you for your past so you could move on?  yes 

Do you wear green on St. Patrick's day?   no. My dad died on saint pats, so..lmao

Are you Irish at all?   i dont think so

Do you pray to God every day?   sometimes

What are three things you are currently looking forward to doing soon?   sleeping, the last of us episode 9, and working ig

Do you ever dance in the rain?   No.

Have you ever sat on a rooftop?   no, i want to so badly 

Who is that last good musician or band you discovered?   I have no idea.. I think Grandson?

Do you like to watch talent shows like America's Got Talent and X Factor?   i used too but not anymore tbh.

Have you ever tried avocado toast?   yup, and i didnt mind it

Name three items on your wish list right now.  New Ipad for my art, new bed, and maybe a new phone.

Are you more talented musically or artistically or neither?   i guess art

Are you better at English or math?   English.

What were your best subjects in school?   Social Studies/ History and Art

What was your favorite subject in school?   Social or any art class. 

Have you ever visited a teacher at their home?   once when I was in kindergarten and she held a bbq at her house

How many windows are in your bedroom?   One.

Who was your first roommate?   i guess my ex boyfriend

Who was your first best friend (besides a sibling)?   Eden

Do you have a sibling who looks like you?   Not really. I have brown hair, and brown eyes, and my sister has blonde hair and blue eyes lol

Name three women you know who have lost a child.   -- I only know two.

Whose was the last funeral you attended or watched?   My dads like 10 years ago

What types of cancer are in your family, if any?   Breast

Do you have big dreams for your future?   I stopped dreaming.

Do you feel alone?   Yeah, quite terribly.

What is this month's calendar picture?   I dont use a physical one

What is the theme of your wall calendar for this year?   --

Have you ever seen a double rainbow?   Yes.

How old will you be on your next birthday?    27

Which nationalities have you been told you look like? (i.e., Asian, Irish) I got told I looked dominican but I dont see it

Have you ever had an outstanding library fine?   No.

What book are you currently reading? nothing atm

Are you poor/broke right now?   Im broke rn but I get paid soon

Have you ever received any scary, threatening messages on social media?  yeah, I got doxxed once

What is the name of your youtube channel?   I dont make youtube videos but i have a channel ig

How many subscribers do you have on youtube? like 110

Do you wish that life were more fair?   yup

Who was your first kiss?   his name was Brandon

Do you feel you have found your soulmate yet?   Nope.

Are you single or in a relationship?   Single

If you're single, do you want to be, or do you wish you weren't?   I wish I had someone but realistically atm i dont have time for one, and also i need to heal still i think

Ever collected shells at the beach?   i used too omg.

Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin?   carve

Who are three of your favorite youtubers to watch?   i have so many i watch but i guess atm- CallmeKevin, Kurtis Conner and maybe Markiplier, or Gamegrumps

What year did you graduate high school?   2015

What do you miss about high school?   I think what i miss is life wasnt as stressful as it is now, and i miss seeing friends every day.

What do you miss about college?   Im still in college

What color was your first car?   white

Do you have a car now?   yes

What color was the house you grew up in?   its like a light light teal

Growing up, what floor was your bedroom on?   top floor

What is your birth order in the family?   im oldest

What would your name be if you were the opposite gender?   I think mom said Nathan

What were you almost named?   Jaycee

Does your bedroom have carpet?   Yes.

Best camping experience?   i dont remember much from camping.

What are the top three travel destinations on your bucket list?   Iceland, Italy, and Japan i think

Do you get heartburn?   sometimes, i HATE it

What are three things you are known for in your town?   omg..idk.

What are three things you are known for on social media?   Stan accounts, I run a traumacore account as well on here, and my art i guess

What is your Instagram account name?   --

Have you ever used Snapchat?   Yes, but now I only use for selfies

Did you want to be famous when you were younger?   yes

What show did you most want to be on as a kid?   i didnt rly want to be on any

First celebrity you were obsessed with?   I think Joe Jonas

First celebrity crush?   Michael J Fox LMAOOOO

What was your first favorite stuffed animal?   I dont know my first. but Max my horse i got when i was 4, which i still have lol

What was something unique about you as a kid?   *annoying as fuck

Were you ever goth/emo?   technically I had a emo phase, but my mom nEVER let me fully unleash it lMAO

Do you want any more piercings?   i want them done

How many tattoos do you have?  Zero.

Do you want more tattoos?   I want to get one.

If you had to get a tattoo, what would you get?   I think a cute fox

Do you mostly write in cursive or print?   I think its kinda mix of print and cursive

Were you ever homeschooled?   nope

Describe your dream wedding in five words. too lazy

Pick three animals that you think resemble you, and why?   raccoon, rat, and a fox

Are you unique?   no

Do you get called a free spirit?   No.

What day of the week were you born on?   Thursday

How are you feeling right now? tired

[chaossequence]

Earlier there was a scorpion that I had to take care of for my roomate (who's dealy afraid of that stuff) since it was next to her bed then I went to a night class,, they pick me up since its a bit far and they needed to print something anyways, then tell me " hey... Oyster had another scorpion on her bed and ended flinging it onto your bed so you'll have to deal with that"

1. I'm also very scared of bugs especially ones that sting

2. I did not put the scorpion in my bed, why should I, who already dealt with the earlier one out of necessity, be the one to deal with it

3. I didn't care that much. I was drawing and I didn't really fully believe them. I said that this is the exact kind of thing you would formulate before coming to meet me just to mess with me

4. Long story short we walk home and I have to walk up to the house thinking wow they can't even have some kindness for me they KNOW I can't even deal with bugspray bc of my asthma and sensitivity to aerosols in general they KNWO I hate bugs esp that sting I'm already pissed and they then tell me before I walk all the way up that it's a prank there is no scorpion

5. Even if there was a scorpion I still lost some trust in them for just putting me in this situation, I often feel like no one has my back at all

6. The fact that this was a prank just hurts me more in that I never pull this shit off with them. I don't make pranks I don't try to put people in those situations bc i know I'd hate going through it myself. I annoy them a lot on purpose like earlier I'd been throwing tiny leaves at Cigarette for a good way towards class, pretty mild I would say.

7. For years I've known that I just do t like getting messed with. I don't like people making a fool out of me. Lying to me. Making me believe in something just to reveal it's wrong and then ridicule me for it after wards,, this just feel like that

8. I feel like this is bc i didn't have their childhoods or even current relationships. I never had siblings or cousins I was close to. I never had terribly close friends. When people try to mess with me now I get angry and fussy if you try talking to me and cry if it's worse.

9. Earlier that day I told Cigarette "do not do that to me, don't tell me that" when she said awwww are you crying? To me sniffing or rubbing my nose bc if allergies. She's done that a lot bc especially when I scratch me eye (I have a dry spot there so throughout the day I'm scratching off some dead skin) and she'll say omg don't cry bbg ~ in a very infantalizing voice that I've already told her not to use with me and it's just messing with me a lot.

10. Last year Oyster played a "prank" on me while I was sick at home. one of our friends (Electric) messaged me that she hates Oyster and Iguana and didnt want to be friends with them anymore and giving more details of course (I even live blogged that occasion on here lol) but the problem was that THIS WAS COMPLETELY believable. Like Electric was going through a rough patch with us at the time and has expressed such things about them and another girl like I was just saying hey you need to tell them this don't come and shit talk about them to me. I even told my mom about this and she agreed that yeah.. it felt like they were testing me and what I'd say about those two behind their backs like I haven't forgiven Oyster about this thing at all and she just continues life not knowing that to this day I call this the "Electric situation"

11. After that, on a camping trip I tol Cigarette who was my travel buddy at the time and best friend I hate these people turning on their flasha light when they don't have to bc it's really hurting my eyes. I even had her walk me though the guided trial so I could keep my eye closed for a while. Then at the night campfire the fire was very bright, hurting my eyes then people were turning on bright LED flash lights for no reason and I in frustration said "god just fucking don't turn on your lights you aren't using then at all" then cigarette who was next to me immediately turns on her light directly into my eyes. I got really hurt by this emotionally and physically bc she literally flashed a sudden bright light one foot away from my face. She regretted it the instant I changed my face nad shut my eyes with my hand even tighter and dad "sorry sorry I tend to do thing when people tell me not to I'm so sorry" like ok then I cried for the whole campfire to the point our chaperones (our close teachers) asked me if I was ok. I needed turning the opposite direction of the fire into the dark and closed my eyes still bc the shadows were flickering

12 I try my best so much to respect their boundaries like I don't call Cigarette annoying bc she has this issue ith it deeply so j just try no to use that word . So why can't she try for me

[wolfisland]

since were on the topic of cutting people off heres my own story

i was best friends with a guy for about 10 years, like since middle school, and stayed with him through everything (partly cuz i was in love with him)

even when he low key bullied me in high school, even when he cheated on his girlfriend and verbally abused her, then when she broke up with him i consoled him until he got with this other girl whos literally the sweetest woman on earth, abused and manipulated her too until she dumped him, threatened her with proposals and money and suibaiting and shit but she stayed strong and got tf away from him.

i will never forgive myself for asking her if shed give him another chance but i felt this obligation to stick up for him cuz ive known him forever he was my best friend i knew him better than anyone. he was like another son to my parents.

they came to an agreement (to my knowledge at the time) that i can hang out with both of them separately cuz i really really liked the girl and still didnt want to ditch him.

one day i invited them both to hang out on the same day but let him know that she was coming over later so that he should leave early. so it wouldnt be awkward etc. he said okay and then left and never contacted me again. kicked me out of the discord server and everything, blocked my FAMILY on every social media, etc. i later find out from her that the dude threatened her to never come to MY house ever again because HE introduced her to me. i was like okay. we didnt speak at all for the entire summer.

fast forward to like november, he sends me a weird weepy text how hes struggling in college and how he has no one in his life now and in this moment i just felt disgust. i told him im sorry hes struggling but ive had enough, i wont be his friend anymore, he pushed me away and he needs to live with the consequences of his actions. he called me a hypocrite and said hes going to kill himself and then blocked my number. i freak out, call my mom to contact his family, his mother calls me and my mom evil bitches and hangs up, i later find out from an older mutual friend whos still in contact w him that hes perfectly fine, never mentioned talking to me or suibaiting to anyone, just continued playing league or whatever in the discord server.

im still very close friends with his second ex whom ive apologised a billion trillion times to, bless her for being literally the smartest most understanding creature in the world. his first ex turned out to be a lesbian and he was her comphet. i hope shes doing well.

theres even more to this story cuz this guy was like an actual weirdo and compulsive liar but this is long already so . yeah lol

oh this is fucking wild. no offence but i hope your ex best friend dies. and also i hope both of his exes live wonderful joy filled lives. and you, too, of course.

[highpriestess-stuff]

So my day started out well i started with self love affirmations which ive been doing for the past 2 days starting off with a spiritual bath and i must admit it has mad quite a difference im excited to see how this will help me i didnt realise how much i truly needed self love i honestly thought i was such a confident person but im starting to realize how harsh iand negative i can be and im starting to see exactly why all these bitches are jealous of me especially the ones that i work with ive never really had a hard time with making friends but ever since me & T broke but damn did it do a number on me.. Getting cheated the first time was just traumatic & left me with anxiety but having such a strong support system and going to the gym almost like everday and letting it out really helped but this break up just left me completely distraught and just made me not want to live life anymore and isolate myself & i didnt realize how it was affecting all my relationships with my friends my family and co workers like damn this narcissistic gas lighting bitch sucked my fucking soul like end all be all and not a single person there to pick up my pieces my like damn had to get myself out of this shit and i feel powerful as fuck never will i let anyone tear me down like that again LESSON LEARNT: Never settle for less. Took 2 years of my life to realize that but hey it coulda been worse.. still trying to see the positivity in this lol coulda gotten married to this bitch ass but thank god he really had to take me off this path this person refused to understand me & the lesson i learnt was that im not for everybody i am simply a Diving Feminine and we aint for everybody if people dont get u then dont waste your time arguing or explaining yourself cause the right people to get you like how did i become so lost and desperate? i just really wanted him to see me for me i just really wanted to make my family happy .. & he wanted to make his the only difference was im not what his family wanted and u know what thats their loss because as soon as i came out i was told i was going to be a motherfuckin champion it truly is his loss lol he fucked up big time and his family is a peice of shit if they really loved him they would want him to be happy but i guess whats what he deserves OH WELL now i see why they dont want the best for him he deserves exactly that shit even the lord dont want the best for him but me i am truly blessed and protected so thank you Jesus!

Going thru that experience really left me feeling emptier then even it felt like people could also see right thru me it left my fuckin boundaries all over the place i allowed people to step all over me cause i constantly thought i was the problem but now im starting to see i was never the problem its this cruel ass world no matter how nice u are to people or how much u just want to help them because u truly see what the can become and u see their potential it doesnt mean that their going to follow that exact path that u want for them it means giving up control letting people have their own experiences and im just trying to be comfortable with that like hey you wanna go fuck up your life go ahead like who am i to control u not like i got super powers cause if i did bruh. People are wylin & then godforbid i wanna do something for myself then they got a problem like what? are yall on. For example Victoria shes so far up my ass but yet cant even be there for me when i need her like bitch step aside and all day at work today she was so sad like what are u sad for... what happend to that advice that u give everytime "Dont Care" like lets see u do that now you dumbass u look fuckin stupid i have completely lost my respect for her like she looks for pathetic how dare she tell me not to care when i share my feelings with her like hows that going for you? keep ur bitch ass advice to yourself the only reason i ever listened to her was cause i actually respected her i thought she was someone i wanted to be like fuck no! i am so much better then her im better then any of these people how dare they show my any fuckin attitude ever like put some motherfuckin respect on my name or get the fuck out of my face and my energy aura cause i aint for everybody you wanna be around me? show some fuckin respect or get the fuck out because i value myself and my opinions and i can find people who do do i dont need you bitch ass people clearly YOU NEED ME like these people need to realise they need me at the end of the day so show respect or get the fuck out. Even will came in with some wack ass attitude but the second i refused to acknowledge him this nigga really started sucking my dick like are you for real why do i need to be rude like is that what turns you people on like is this why im working in this type of environment to learn that i just need to stay away from people who dont respect my energy why because you people cant do the work and become great like me??? ive done the work ive done the time ive earned to be where the fuck i am and if maybe yall put in the work you guys would be on my level but u aint thats why you bitches are so fuckin miserable and just focused on me unfortunatly thats what comes with the fame and i aint leveling down for no fucking body i came a long fuckin way and i deserve this shit put my crown on again & im knock it off * & this bitch shan like i thought she was the nicest girl ever bitch HAD the audacity to show me attitude like girl do u know who ur dealing with ur 20 nothing its actually cute and laughable because she looks like that character from ice age she thinks shes really doing something i cant with these hoes thinking they affect like.. like bruh this is my partime job lol this is your lifetimes career ofcourse u going to be mad lol stay mad cause what im winning? so u think showing me attitude gonna do something um no it just shows me that ur a terrible person ur disgusting and fuckin ugly i was just being nice and now that youve shown ur true colors i no longer need to loook go crawl back in ur dark cave u hoeeeeeeeeeee.. anyways ill be back for more updates byeeee

[murachinchi]

🔥 - aaaa it was more because Tanjiro is my fav character and then gained kyo as my fav character after their first meeting. when i first saw them interact i just thought they r very cute together. then the sleeping together happen and i was just 👀 . i totally binge the rntn tag on ao3 that day

☀️ at home 🥲 ive known kny for much longer but decided to not watch it cause i havent been interested in anime for sometime.. but decided to finally watch when i got lots of free time and also because ig keep recommending kny reels 🙃🙃 im surprised i didnt get spoiled that kyo's gonna die so early in the series

⚔️ NO... at my first watch... because i was on denial lol like "haha no way he gonna die come on it's just a hand through ur chest is not that bad" even until the end of the season im still in denial cause no way he died cause he seems so importaaannttt. so yes i didnt cry on my first watch though i reaaaallllyyyyy like the song that plays on his last speech so sad yet inspiring. i only bawled on my second watch cause there i finally accepts his death

❄️ i've hated him even before he kills kyo lmao idk his face and smile just seems so annoying.. and im sorry fellas but i really dont like his theme song 🙃 its like hate on first sight (?) like even after i knew about his backstories it still didnt make me like him. it's like so what if u have a tragic backstory idc lol but then i realised that he's kinda forced to be turned into a demon yes? he just doesnt care anymore and got turned into a demon. so i just see them as different characters lol i like hakuji but i dont like akaza. yes there's an AU where i like him and it's something i made myself (??) jk i like an AU where they r separate person lol

💤 i dont like him im sorry 🙃🙃 i dont like the way he talks 🙃 i love that he's just a horrible demon without sad backstory. and i find it very funny thats he's a train perv in kimetsu gakuen lol

❤️ hmmmmmmm i like almost everything really.. as long as they care about each other UwU i do want to see a twisted version of reincarnation AU tho.. like since they dont have much time together on their previous life they get to be super protective of each other to the point of toxicity but it goes both ways lol like a yanderexyandere story. also omegaverse but with beta kyo and omega tan 🥺🥺🥺🥺

🥵 yes yes yes yes this has many story potential lol specially angst give me the slowburn pls

💭 i want them to interact more on the train awake 🥲🥲🥲

🍠 i love the rengoku family.. they have funny genes... i do wonder how would they turn out to be if Ruka is alive and well.. she seems like the quiet type and from what we've seen of childhood kyo he seems to be like that too.. i feel like he smiles alot cause he gotta put a front for sen and it becomes a habit to just smile on everything and also because of Ruka's words.. about the current one i do get where shin coming from.. and he keeps his feelings to himself and lash out on his children kinda sad really.. i want to believe that he never actually hit his children just verbally abuse and neglect them but finally breaks down after kyo's death. still doesnt justify what he had done to his children tho

🪨 i still find it funny that they have 6 children lmao like damn Kie no wonder ur husband so weak 😭😭😭 but i love that even with that many siblings the parents still try their best to raise them. and u can see that kie felt bad for making tan work so young. i do want to see more of their family specially when the dad is around. and also how Kie defend her children with her strong forehead lmaoo that caught me off guard

🗑️ his thigh man i dunno he's just a silly sad man who can't drink right. i remember when my friend told me that she didnt expect shinjuro looking like that since kyo refers him as "chichiue" which was very formal. so she was laughing so hard when shinjuro first appeared cause he look very scrunkly.

🎴hmmmm tbh he's almost kind with everyone he met so any ship would go well with him.. but i'd say InoTan. tho i do tend to read or look at tan being shipped with the upper moons lol in the context of rntn but kyo is dead lmao i like that

❤️‍🔥 no... :c i've seen lots of kyo ship while i do find it adorable but nah.. the closest would be renkaza but only if they were exes lol

💣 hmmm this one a bit weird.. i like omegaverse but i dont like genderbend.. so im not really keen with genderswap rntnrn fanarts. but this is not a rntn specific tho 🥲🥲

RenTan ask game!

Grit your teeth and join the fun.

Please reblog so everyone can see!

🔥- What first drew you to Rengoku Kyojuro/Tanjiro?

☀️ - How did you watch Mugen train for the first time? (In theaters, at home…)

⚔️ - More importantly, did you cry when Rengoku… yknow… died lol

❄️ - what are your feelings about Akaza? Was he an effective villain in the story? Do you like him in AUs?

💤 - what are your feelings about Enmu? Was he an effective villain in the story? Do you like him in AUs?

❤️ - what are your favorite kind of RenTan stories? (Canon, Rengoku lives, modern… etc)

🥵 - what are your thoughts about their rank difference? Did you want Tanjiro to study under Kyojuro?

💭 - In a world where the train ride lasted longer, what do Rengoku and Tanjiro dream of?

🍠 - what are your opinions on the Rengoku family, and how Kyojuro was raised?

🪨 - what are your opinions on the Kamado family, and how Tanjiro was raised?

🗑️ - just tell us everything you love about Shinjuro

🎴 - do you ship Tanjiro with anyone else? If yes, who? If no, why not?

❤️‍🔥 - do you ship Kyojuro with anyone else? If yes, who? If no, why not?

💣 - share your most controversial RenTan take. Set your thoughts ablaze!!

[iwaisuke]

i like you so much, you'll know it

ft. kageyama tobio, semi eita, iwaizumi hajime x fem!reader

genre: fluff (prompts are based off lines of the song)

masterlist

a/n: from the c-drama a love so beautiful :) i wrote this at like 4am so sorry if its crap haha. not proof read either. also, sorry in advance if they're too ooc lol im a mess rn.

» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

i like your eyes, you look away when you pretend not to care i like the dimples on the corners of the smile that you wear. i like you more the world may know but dont be scared cause im falling deeper baby be prepared.

» today was your first day at karasuno highschool. honestly, you were so scared. that was up until you found out kageyama was going too.

» the two of you had been childhood friends due to each others grandparents knowing the others. you had been with him through his ups and downs. his victories and defeats. almost everything kageyama did, you were there with him.

» actually, you didnt know kageyama was going to karasuno until you walked outside your door to find the raven haired boy in the same school uniform as you

» "tobi? you never told me you were going to karasuno?" giving him a side eyed grin. "i thought you were planning on going to aoba johsai like oikawa senpai and iwaizumi senpai"

» you viewed kageyama as someone who expected others to reach his level in order to be a good match for him. he had a strong head on his shoulders. naturally gifted in volleyball, like everything was given to him on a gold platter. of course, he wasnt perfect and thats where you come in and keep him level headed. helping him understand his faults and weaknesses as well. doing your best to encourage the setter

» he let out a sigh. a slight frown forming on his face. "i didnt get in.." he quietly said. "karasuno has a good volleyball team though and i can feel myself growing here" he stated bodly

» and boy was he right. something about kageyama did changd that day. he usually was so bitter and angry. a very pessimistic look on life if he and others weren't at the top. maybe it was the orange haired boy, hinata, that the setter and you became friends with. and maybe it was his great senpai's who were patient with him and gave him the opportunity to grow

» kageyama started smiling more often. his small unnoticeable dimples showing. he became kinder. softer. and more carefree. he was a growing boy both mentally and physically.

» what you didnt realize was that not only was kageyama changing, you as well, had something changing and growing in your heart.

» but kageyama noticed. oh boy did he really notice, the way you seemed to become happier and livelier by the day. how the stars sparkled in your eyes when you talked about something you enjoyed. the kind of perfume you would wear and how you would tie your hair differently each day. the weird trinkets you just seemed to love that decorated your bag. but most importantly, how much bigger your heart has become, loving everyone and their faults. always encouraging and motivating him and his team.

» was she always like this? he would constantly think to himself. all of a sudden being hyperaware about you... but he would NEVER let you know that, let alone his senpai's. it was just too embarrassing. just thinking about the never ending teasing he'd get from tanaka and noya senpai made him shiver.

» all of these things he felt about you hit kageyama like a truck the day everyone started to wear their winter uniforms.

» picking you up to walk to school together was a normal thing since the two of you lived close, but how was kageyama suppose to do this now when you're standing in front of him. thigh high socks to keep your legs warm, an oversized jacket that you had borrowed from him a while back you forgot to return. white mittens to cover your cold hands and the slight blush on your face from the wind chill.

» "does it look weird?" you shyly asked. kageyama was silent. "ah.. give me a second. I'll go back in and change real qui-"

» kageyama tugged on your hand. "its fine. lets just go to school or we'll be late." refusing to look you in the eyes. heat rising to your cheeks as tobio dragged you along with him.

» your feelings for the setter had blossomed over the past few months. falling deeper and deeper into him, and at this point you felt like you couldnt hide it anymore. you just had to tell him. tell him all the wonderful things he's done. the way he's grown and how much he means to you.

» "tobi..." your soft voice spilling out. eyes closed, the fog of your breath coming out as you exhaled. "i lik-"

» you felt something wrap around your neck. "wait y/n..." kageyama spoke, interrupting what you were about to say. not gonna lie, you felt like your heart was about to be shattered like ice eventhough kageyama continued to wrap his scarf around your neck.

» "dont say it..." he quietly said as he began to walk forward without you.

» ah... is this what rejection feels like? i didnt even get to say it properly... your hands felt colder now that kageyama wasnt holding them anymore.

» he took a quick glance back at you. blush on his cheeks. "be prepared because i want to be the one to tell you first."

i like the way you try so hard when you play ball with your friends. i like the way you hit the notes in every song you're shinnin' i love the little things like when you're unaware, i catch you steal a glance and smile so perfectly

» semi eita, your 3 year heart throb from the moment he first spoke to you.

» at first, you had suppressed these feelings, telling yourself he would never look at you the same way. but something about the blonde tsundere struck a chord in your heart that you just couldn't forget.

» the two of you ended up becoming friends. closer than you had actually imagined within these past 3 years. doing everyday life with you. waking up and saving you a spot at breakfast. helping you with your studies in exchange for being his workout buddy and motivator.

» semi kept his tabs on you. your likes and dislikes. the things that made you smile and the things that made you groan in disgust, but he would never let you know that.

» to semi, you were his breath of fresh air. the song he has on repeat everyday. the kind of person who would keep him on his toes. in a good way of course

» "oi what are you daydreaming of this time?" semi asked as you zoned out while drinking your carton of strawberry milk. "hm? oh nothin. just thinkin about whats in store for us today!" reaching your arms above your head letting out a stretch. "i just know for a fact. today is gonna be a good day." semi chuckled at your optimistic claim. "how do you know for sure?" "i dont know how. i just do" you replied with a smile on your face.

» today, shiratorizawa had a practice match with aoba johsai and today, eita was picked to be in the starting line up. the pure joy that radiated from his body. maybe today was a really good day just like how you had said.

» semi took a quick glance up into the stands, you gave him a thumbs up and wished him good luck. his smile was brighter than you had ever seen it and his eyes shined like stars. he always told you that whatever chance he got on the court, he would be sure to not let his team down no matter what. he was in his zone. playing his best and sure enough, they had won all 3 matches.

» after practice, semi and you would hang out at his dorm afterwards. he liked to show you all the new songs he was working on. whether it was a cover or a song or a song he was writing on his own.

» the two of you leaned against the wall as you sat on semi's bed. his sheet music all sprawled out before him on his bed sheets. guitar in his arms and you beside him.

» "what are you working on semi?" "a song" "well obviously dum dum" you laughed, reaching out for a paper in front.

» "so who's the special lady?" you teased him as you read the lyrics. deep down inside you could only wish these words were meant for you. a blush formed on eita's face. "just... shut up about it... its not ready yet"

» it was getting late and falling asleep at semi's place was a normal occurrence at this point. your eyes became heavy and your head started bobbing.

» "sleepy?" eita asked as he noticed your eyes drooping. "mhm. sing for me semi? please?" his voice was so soft like a mothers touch yet somehow had the power to pierce through your soul sometimes. although, it never failed to help you fall asleep when you needed it.

» hesitantly, semi started humming. softly speaking some lyrics here and there. you didnt know where the tune was from so you listened the best you could.

» "... till the last of snow dissapears ... till a rainy day, becomes clear. never knew a love like this, now i can't let go..."

» your eyes had closed. slumber taking over you as you fell onto semi's shoulder.

» "im in love with you... and now you know..."

» yeah. today was a good day. just like you said it was going to be.

in a world devoid of life, you bring color. in your eyes i see the light, my future. always and forever i know i cant let you go. im in love with you and now you know

» to iwaizumi, unlike volleyball, oikawa, maki, mattsun, school, anything life threw at him; you were the thing in his life that was constant yet at the same time a whirlwind of new beginnings. not in a bad way though.

» ever since you were kids, you showed iwaizumi the beauty in things he would have never guessed had. he was bold and tended to look over things without giving them much thought. his eyes straight ahead to the trials before him. you on the other hand, stopped him and slowed him down from rushing into them blindly.

» "every moment is precious. you should learn to cherish it because you never know when it's gonna be your last" you always said

» your views of the world were beautiful compared to how cruel it actually was. naivety maybe? or maybe it was just because you were blessed with a kind soul.

» iwaizumi always knew he had feelings for you. you had been with him through thick and thin. he could depend on you and you could depend on him. in his eyes, you were the most beautiful person on earth. deep down he had hoped the two of you could stay like that forever. nothing could ever change that.

» or so he thought...

» "iwa chan~ you owe me a meat bun" oikawa whined as the group of friends were walking to the gym for volleyball practice. "shut up crappykawa. i already bought you one last week" "oi isn't that y/n over there?" maki said, shaking iwaizumi's shoulder.

» sure enough it was you. apparently you had told iwaizumi to go ahead of you today because you had something to take care of in the afternoon. telling him you'd meet up with him after practice was over. not thinking much of it, he bid you a farewell and went on in his day.

» "oooou by the looks of it, this is the perfect confession scene" mattsun teased. "oi stop messing around" iwaizumi's voice hoarse. not gonna lie, iwaizumi felt his heart drop when mattsun said that

» the 4 boys crept closer to see what was going on.

» there you were, standing in the middle of a classroom with a black haired boy. "mhm. definitely a confession." oikawa stated. "shut up tooru we cant hear" maki retorted.

» you weren't considered popular in school but that didnt mean people didnt know who you were. iwaizumi knew you were gorgeous and on top of that, smart, kind and one of the sweetest girls, so it was only natural that people would be drawn to you.

» they watched as the boy got closer and closer to you. voices barely being audible to the 4 boys outside. iwaizumi's heart could bear to see this right before his eyes.

» without even thinking, his feet moving on his own, iwaizumi barged into the room. all eyes towards him.

» "iwa what are you-" without letting you finish, iwa dragged you out of the classroom. "iwa where are you taking me" asking him as he took you to who knows where, leading you up the stairs of the school.

» up on the roof, he finally let go. "sorry..." he mumbled.

» "sorry for what iwa?" "for ruining that confession... i just-"

» "you just...-?"

» "i just love you ok?!"

» your heart shook at the resonance of his voice. iwa liked you? he liked you back?! wait no- he loved you.

» you had loved iwaizumi from the moment you met him and as the two of you grew up, your love for him only grew deeper. he was the only one you'd ever look at. the only one who would ever cross your mind. you had hoped he felt the same about you but he was always so busy with other things you only felt like you would be able to support him on the sidelines as he faced the world head on like he always does.

» just being in iwaizumi's presence was enough for you. no need to be greedier, you thought. its good to be content with what you have, but just knowing that he shares the same feelings... its ok to be a little greedy right?

» your silence being louder than it should have been, iwaizumi took it the wrong way. "look I know this isn't the greatest confession. heck it's not even the way I wanted to confess to you, and get it if you like that other guy, you don't have to-"

» shuting him up with a kiss, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. needless to say, he was shocked, but embraced you as well.

» "you're overthinking too much iwa. that's so unlike you" you chuckled. his face bright red at the previous actions.

» "i love you. I've loved you for a long time actually. every single second. every moment we've shared. i cant picture myself with anyone but you hajime."

» iwa let out a sigh of relief. a smile being brought back onto his face. "good because all I know is that i cant let you go. in the past, present and even in the future...."

» the blue sky slowly changing into shades of coral warmed your heart even more on top of his sweet words that you've always longed to hear.

» "im in love with you, and now you know"

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

enjoy your order! have a great day!

[seulgiology]

that’s my type | jeon jungkook

pairings: fwb!jungkook x fwb!female oc

words: 3k

genre: SMUT with an “i love you” at the end , uwu

warnings: cursing, praise, dirty talk, thigh fucking, pet names, choking, a widdle exhibition, a lil pussy spank, ass slapping, piercings, tattoos (are those warnings?? idk), oc loves to mess with kookie lol save him

a/n: GIF IS NOT MINE! sad yer. admin 1 is sadly alive. HERE’S A REQUESTED JUNGKOOK SMUT, I TRIED MY BEST PLZ ACCEPT MY OFFERING TO YOU @itboykook . Also, i just randomly put two names together, so if by any chance that it relates to an actual idol IM SORRY. anygays, being a student is hard and online school is a lot :))), sorry for my inactivity.

disclaimer: This is a work of fiction from our imagination. It is not intended that the plot, theme, original characters, idols, etc. portray any real-life events/people. Plagiarism is NOT tolerated on this blog. If you believe we have copied an existing authors’ work, please message us privately. thank you and enjoy :)

--

Mid July - 12:03 p.m.

Jungkook fit right in with the rest of you, his quiet, odd, yet lovable personality was enticing and it didn’t fall short from the other 6 guys. 

He was the newest and the youngest out of your friend group, only a junior in college. His adorable teeth whenever he smiled that contrasted with his toned body was so attractive and he knew it too. He nearly rivaled Jimin when it came to visual duality.

You all were on one of the campus’ fields, enjoying a rare afternoon of no classes on your spread blanket. You and Hoseok were trying to play a makeshift game of basketball in the field with a random volley ball lying around and your jacket in a circle as the “hoop.” 

You were both dying of laughter from your failed attempts at playing defense and rolling in the grass like a couple of kids on a sugar rush.

Jungkook was next to Taehyung listening to brief him on everything about you, from your flat feet to your unconventional love for Tom Holland. He was sitting comfortably on the blanket, hands resting behind his back as he watched you and... What was his name? Hobi?  He’ll remember later. 

He couldn’t see you too clearly but he knew you were having fun after hearing your bubbly laughter from the distance. You didn’t seem to be coming over towards the others anytime soon so he thought he’d rest his head on Jimin’s plush lap and rest his eyes for a bit, letting the spring sun beat down on his face.

“Don’t you come over here with all that grass on you, Mae, you don’t know whose child was in there pissing.”

Jungkook’s eyes snapped open, and he hissed out at the suns rays blinding him. He lazily shifted towards the direction of the noise and heard Seokjin— Jin grumble to you two. 

You were in the middle of rubbing the loose grass off your jeans when you could feel someone’s stare on you.

Jungkook shamelessly drank in your figure, loving the way your ripped jeans hugged your thick thighs. He could only dream of burying his face in between them and leaving hickies. You were slightly bent over in front of him trying to wipe the dirt off of you, but he had a great view of your full and round ass trapped inside the denim.

Is this what it feels like to look at an angel? Jungkook didn't know what to believe anymore after being graced with your existence. Did he want to worship your body, make you laugh, hold your hand? Or something more? The blood rushed to his center the longer he kept his gaze on you and letting his thoughts take a sexual turn.

You didn’t catch him practically eye-fucking you, but when you looked up and around, you did see him blushing and hastily putting his bag on his lap.

He must be a shy guy. Yet his whole presence makes you want to shut up and be a good girl for him. He was only laying down with his arm propped up for support, and his short black hair was flowing in the wind, making him look goofy with such a concentrating look on his face.

He pretended to be searching in his bag for something as his heart raced when he saw your shadow coming towards him. He tasted the saliva pooling in his mouth at the sight of you towering over him, your nose and ear piercings glinting in the sunlight. 

“I’m Maerin, the only reasonable one here. You are?” You carefully reached your hand out for him to shake with a charming grin on your face, amazed that your friend group just continues to add more attractive men to your circle.

“Jungkook, the other reasonable one here.” You laughed at his statement and his adorable nose scrunched when he smiled with you. You took the vacant seat next to him, and his sight was glued to your physique on your descent, entranced by the minimalistic ink on your arm.

Could you get anymore perfect? Perfect face. Perfect ass. Perfect thighs. Perfect body. Perfect personality most likely. HIs mind raced with thoughts of only you as soon as he took your much smaller hand in his in a firm shake.

He was going to have you one way or another. And that’s a promise he kept. Sort of.

--

Early December - 11:46 a.m.

Those god-awful finals had just ended for you guys and it was time for winter break. It was decided that you all would put in money to go to a ski resort for the break, needing the stress reliever and rest.

And get rid of stress was exactly what you did.

“Fuck, you really don’t know what you do to me,” His hand tightened around your neck in the most pleasurable way, and you were hazy from the dream-like steam the shower was bringing.

He had you pinned against him, his arms held you tightly in place as he thrusted in between your thighs, only sliding his cock against your slick womanhood. You hated not being able to feel him inside you, but he was in heaven when he had you like this. 

Jungkook’s reasonably unreasonable obsession with your ass and thighs played a great part in your friends with benefit arrangement. 

“This is all mine, sweetness,” He grunted in your ear, and all you could do was gasp in response. His wet and wavy locks draped over your shoulder as he sped up his pace, leaving you devoid of any type of release as your thighs tightened around his cock sliding in between them. 

“Jungkook-” You whined to him, upset that he was using you to get himself off. He payed you no mind however, his thrusts speeding up as the unrhythmic slide of his cock in between your folds meant he was going to cum soon. 

"You wanna cum pretty girl? Wanna feel me stuff you so full you won’t remember anything but me?” He moaned in your ear at the thought, torturing himself as much as he was torturing you.

You let out a pathetic but audible yes that you knew had his dimple popping from the grin that adorned his face. You yelped when he manhandled you against the wall and pushed your back down so your ass was to his front. You turned around to see him desperately pumping himself in his hand and his lips slightly parted. The sight had your arousal trailing down your legs along with the water and you licked you lips at his hard cock in his hand.

He pumped his load on your cheeks that were spread for him and he watched it get rinsed away as quickly as it came with the water.

Your body was still on edge when you felt Jungkook rise you up and back hugged you so tenderly, you were ready to fall asleep in his arms at the safety they welcomed. He chuckled in your ear at your languid body and held you tighter. “If you fall asleep you won’t get your reward for being good for me,” his voice was so sweet and you. Why isn’t he your boyfriend again?

“Mmm, really?” You questioned him in a sultry tone, wanting to get him riled up again. You grinded your ass on his hardening manhood and you loved the way he grabbed a handful of it and rolled his hips on you.

“Jungkook, you in there?” You both froze in panic upon hearing Namjoon over the white noise. Jungkook’s finger tips stopped their descent down your stomach and lightly dug in. Shit, fuck, fuck fuck, shit- 

“Yea hyung, I’m in the shower, what’s up?” His voice was unusually shaky to the older man, but he brushed his overanalyzing to the side. “Have you seen Maerin? She said she was looking for you but she disappeared.”

Your heart pounded to the speed the water was hitting you. Namjoon wasn’t stupid, he’d probably figure you guys out, if he didnt already.

Jungkook frowned at you in confusion and you shrugged back at him, your face heating up at the excuse you told the others men to just come see your fuck buddy. 

“She told me to meet the rest of you in the lobby but I wanted to take a shower before leaving. Um... I think she went to get more food before they closed the breakfast buffet.” He lied smoothly, and you sighed in relief and let your grip on hi arm drop.

THUNK!

Namjoon jumped after hearing the load thump and an extremely familiar feminine squeak from the bathroom.

Wait.

Was that Maer—

“Sorry hyung, the soap fell on my foot when I tried reaching for it! I’ll be out soon, don’t wait for me.” He replied in a haste after turning the shower off and giving you a hard look. After hearing the room door close, your body chilled beyond return and your nipples hardened in anticipation.

“You think this is a game, huh?” He tilted your chin up with his cold finger tips and glared at your smirking face.

This was most definitely a game you wanted to play.

—

Late December - 1:30 p.m.

“Who brought the liquor, im trying to get wasted tonight.”

“Jimin, we’re watching Stranger Things.”

“Ok— so where’s the liquor...?”

You smile to yourself at hearing your friends’ conversation, they never fail to amuse you. You were in the kitchen, trying to get popcorn ready for all 8 of you to watch the supernatural show in Jungkook’s apartment.

You leaned on the counter in front of the microwave and listened to its humming as the bag of popcorn started to slowly inflate.

“The guys are here and you have your ass all out like this?” A silent groan left your lips and arousal pooled in between your legs when Jungkook grinded his hips into your ass and grabbed a handful of it.

Your friend group had no idea that you were fucking each other for about 2 months now. It felt wrong to be sexually attracted to each other, especially because you were friends. So you both didn’t want a bad reaction if you told the others.

“Jungkook, someone’s going to walk in—” But you ignored your own words and instead rubbed against him more. You were breathing softly but heavily when you let him cup your cunt through your leggings. He loved it when you wore leggings, it always left little to his imagination when he wanted to guffaw at your legs.

The microwave beeped loudly and it startled the young man behind you into jumping back in fright. Jungkook swallowed hard at hearing your snickering and in a haste, left the kitchen and into the noisy living room instead. He was hard under his sweats, and hated how uncomfortable he was because did it.

They were all seated and prepared to binge watch the latest season of the popular American show when you crept out with two large bowls of kettle corn popcorn.

After they graciously thanked you, you took the obvious seat next to Jungkook on the loveseat. The others expected this, they knew you two were closer than ever. He threw the fuzzy blanket over you both as you cuddled close to the arm chair and put your feet on the other side of his thighs.

Your knees were bent up because you couldn’t fully extend your legs, and it was the perfect position for him to touch you in. He turned to gaze at you under his dark and curly fringe and his earring dangle from the movement.

He discreetly leaned in and whispered, “I dare you to try something while they’re here. Watch what’s going to happen.” The eerie theme song of the show began and you knew for a fact you weren’t going to pay attention. 

You’ve seen the legendary show already. So instead you’d mess with the man directly in front of you.

So for eight long hours you you teased him under the blankets; Rubbing his length with your feet, edging him and never letting succumb to the unusual pleasure. It was exciting to see him sweat while all of your close friends were so close to you yet too engrossed in the T.V. set to notice.

Just as your group was piling out and saying their goodbyes, you suggested that you stay to help the maknae clean. it was late and everybody would be busy the next day but you. 

And Jungkook wasn’t going to let you go that easy.

--

9:54 p.m. [same night]

Your damp forehead was pressed into soft cushion and your hands clutching the closest pillow on the couch as you were hopelessly whimpering for more. 

Jungkook wasted no time in having you ass up, head down with his wet tongue abusing your cunt and giving you a taste of your own medicine.

“You really must think this shit is funny, baby” He said, basking in the taste of your arousal. You whined when he lightly slapped your clit, your hips involuntarily pushing back for more and he arrogantly chuckled at your neediness.

“I asked you a question and I expect you to answer it.” His voice was gruff when his hard and angry cock slapped against your swollen lips, the slickness of it making it an obscene noise.

“Only if you fuck me first.” You breathlessly said to him and wiggled your ass to draw him in even more. His hooded eyes caught the sight and he moistened his thin lips, loving they way your bottom moved.

You both sighed in relief when he finally pushed in, the initial sting always catching you by surprise, no matter how many times he’s done it. 

“Shit, you always take me so well Mae,” He pumps faster, his hips snapping into yours and you cry out from the intensity of it. Your clit throbbed from your fingers circling around it, and your moans were purely sinful. Jungkook loved seeing you like this.

Back arched and your pussy clenching around his length. The way your ass bounced against his hips whenever he thrusted into you. Fuck. His hand came down hard on your already stinging before grabbing them and drilling into you impossibly quicker than before. 

“Please don’t stop!” You cried out, living for the way his dick filled you so fucking full until you you were seeing white. “Look at you pretty girl. You’re such a brat and all I do is fuck you and give you what you want.” He grunted in your ear and kissed right below it, hearing the dangling sounds of your own earrings.

“Ohhh, Jungkook I’m so close,” He huffed before carefully flipped you over and fucked you with vigor, your toes curling and an amazing sensation rushing through you. “Come on sweetness, you’re almost there.” He placed your legs over his shoulder and gripped your delicious thighs so tight, this wouldn’t be the first time you’d see hand prints there tomorrow.

His forehead was pressed against yours as he watched his dick push in and out of your sopping cunt, your cries egging him on to spill inside of you without hesitation.

The feeling in your lower stomach was becoming uncomfortably persistent and with one final rare moan of your name his hips stuttered sloppily and he filled you with his seed to the brim. Your body spasmed around him and your mantra of his name didn’t even let up after you came. 

When you finally came down from your high, your eyes cleared to see the sweaty boy slumped against you, body spent from putting his all into this session.

He peppered kisses along your collarbones and softly massaged your chest as your eyes closed from his blessed hands working on your soft tissue.

He peeked up at you through those unruly locks of his and that boyish charm never failed you whenever he literally did anything. Don’t even get you started on his boxing practices, whew-

“So round two?” He quirked a playful eyebrow at you as his fingers lightly danced over your torso. You giggled when he reached around your waist and applied pressure, the soft skin felt like silk to him. 

“What do you expect an answer?” You giggled up at him, stars in your eyes. You sneakily reached and tickled under his arms, and he let out the most adorable laugh your ears could ever hear. You shushed your laughs with unsuccessful kisses that were even more laughs because of your failed attempts of keeping a straight face.

When he pulled away, his doe-eyes were stuck on your gorgeous face. The way he was looking at you wasn’t unfamiliar, you we’re just too stupid to play it off as the “post-fuck love stare.” But here you were now. Laughing in between his strong arms and pecking each others lips. 

We’ve been friends fucking like this for months and I’m just realizing this now?

“What if I told you that I loved you? How’d you answer to that..?” He trailed off towards the end, his spontaneous confidence wearing off by the millisecond from his impulsive words. 

You could combust with the overwhelming feeling of happiness and your chest felt lighter even with his body of muscle on you. You smiled so wide up at him, you could barely see his own face morph into the dimpled look you’ve grown to love since you first met him. But you still wanted to mess with him for 10 more seconds.

“I would say I love you with all my heart...” 

You think his just dropped to his stomach with the way his face turned ghastly pale and his eyebrows raised in worry. He was not expecting that after your reaction to him confessing his feeling towards you. Was this a joke? But you were smiling... mayb-

“But my ass is bigger.” Your laugh was contagious and he couldn’t even be mad at you cause he couldn’t agree more.

[schimmelspore]

Alright, storytime.

Im telling yall rn that there will be typos, i just dont care rn

I already had a rather full day when it comes to talking to people and doing things, so all i wanted was a nice quiet evening to rp with a friend and Chat with my Partner.

Thats not what i got.

The doorbell rung and when i opened, the young mother (shes 17) that lives up on the highest floor asked me to let her and her 3 day old baby in. I did, obviously.

Turns out that her boyfriend and babydaddy (18) is incredibly aggressive and manipulative.

I knew him, i barely knew her. He was okay when they moved in a few months ago, but he was talking a big game with nothing to show. Back then i just rolled my eyes. Another neighbor from the next house did the same.

He rung up a storm at my door, so i closed my living room door to get the mother safe and answered the door. He was incredibly agitated, but lucky for me he seems to think i would break his jaw if he overstepped with me. I wouldnt lol but i like that he seems to fear me enough to behave.

I told him that with this kind of Agitation i dont care for the reason, im not letting him close to a new born.

He blamed her for how upset he was, said she will steal his child (he wanted to change the babies last Name to his own and the mother said that thats not happening and she wouldnt sign the paper like that)(the New borns grandmother has custody of the kid anyway)

He also threatened the mother with his own suicide, holding a huge fucking knife to his neck. I asked him about that and he said that he did it because his life is shit, he doesnt want it anymore and that his (ex-)gf brought him to that edge.

Now looking at both of their demeanors.... nah, she didnt. And i already knew he talks a lot of bullshit.

I managed to get him to calm down, because he didnt find a point to hit with his Aggression with me. I talked him into giving me the key for their apartment (there exists only one) and got him to go to work. He works nights.

With that he was out of the picture for a few hours.

When i came back inside, the young mom was talk with the grandmother on the phone. Granny lives halfway through the country. They were saying they had to wait until friday to get her away from here, so i asked why. No money. And i was like alright, im gonna buy you a train Ticket, give me the money back when you got it, its fine.

Then my neighbor from the next house messaged me with something unrelated and i was like "yo. Are you home?" She wasnt, but i gave her a quick rundown of what was going on and she was here 20 minutes later to help.

We went up to the apartment to get the mothers and the babies stuff and to see what to do about the dog (huge german sheppert/malinois Mix, former security dog, the goodest of boys) that used to belong to the grandmother. We decided that he needs some walkies and we would see how to get him in the morning, baby comes first. Ill tell the dog Story later.

She packed hers and the babies stuff (hers fit into half a grocery bag) and brought it down into my apartment. During this i found out that he manahed to discourage her to seek my help (i had offered her help a few times), that he had Power over all the money, always took the one key when he went out so she couldnt do anything, told her to not wear bright colors or make up, and let out his Aggression on the doors, walls and things.

Yes, he punched a hole THROUGH THE WALL.

Towards me he had said earlier "yes im often aggressive, but i dont let it out on her or the kid."

The attentive Reader might now raise their brows. "Im often aggressive, BUT-" is always followed by excuses or lies. He lets it out on things and uses that to say that he doesnt harm anyone and such. Which is bullshit. Thats no Environment for a young mother, her new born, and an old dog.

Anyway, the mom slept in my apartment and i did the best to accomodate both of them. We got 2h of sleep maximum.

In the morning, we took her to the train, rushing to the car as quickly as we could, because homeboy had spammed her woth messages and by the end he was like "i just lost my job because of you" so aside from it being the end of his shift, he could have been on his way earlier. But luckily we got her to the car without issue and he didnt Show up at the train Station either.

(Fyi no employer in germany would fire you for dealing with the birth of a child. Thats just not a thing. at least not in my experience. If he got fired it was because he didnt talk to them about it or because he was an asshole and bad at his job. Or didnt show up. But who knows if that even happened or if he tried to guilt trip her)

We rushed to the Plattform.... and the train was cancelled. Shit. Okay. She was able to take the next one an hour later and was then soon safely on her no stop 3h train ride to where the grandmother would pick them up to care for them.

Mom and baby are safe and by now hopefully settle for an actual nap.

After that me and my neighbor drove back home, to a pissed off 18yo asshole standing in front of the house in the rain because i had his Keys.

Im genuinely glad that he is too scared of us to try shit. My neighbor is a tiny petite Lady of 38 years, who used to do kickboxing and handles 60kg dogs with ease. I am a kinda broad if short 30yo trans man who looks intimidating thanks to my piercings and attitude. He went off muttering insults and we only gave him the key if he gave us the dog.

We were this insistant because he didnt take care of it. There was no dog food in the house (he didnt buy much for his now ex and the dog to eat, hes very self oriented) and he only went out with the poor doggy during the night for like 15 minutes. For a german sheppert/malinois Mix. Yes you heard right.

Its not like the young mother could have done it during her pregnancy, that dog needs someone with enough strength and calm authority. She hated it but couldnt do much about it.

And fyi, i had offered them to walk the dog sometimes. They never took me up on the offer and i think it was because homeboy was scared i would see that things were wrong.

Anyway, with that we had the dog, walked him, fed him, let him rest.

And for the first time since i met this dog, he was not whining after about 20 minutes of being in my flat, with a blanket and a bit of sausage in his belly (my neighbor later went to bring him some actual dog food.)

So now the mom and the baby are safe, the dog is with my neighbor who will either train him to be able to keep him or find him a new and better home. She is very passionate about that.

Meanwhile i am decompressing. Once everyone and dog was out of my apartment and the doors closed, i immediately teared up. Gotta love the neurodivergent overload reaction. I cried for a bit and will curl up for a little while on my couch... though i have to leave in an hour for my job Interview.

Im just happy all went kind of well.

And homeboy is going to get in trouble woth the janitor and Administrator of this house. They cone over today to check on the flat, ecause i mentioned to them (before any of the above happened) that i heard the doors are all broken and they probably need help.

Might Update once i get the tea on that.

Might have to give a full storytime on what the fuck went down that i have a mother and her 3 days old kid sleeping in my living room after i bought her a train Ticket to berlin

[petersasteria]

Lost In The Woods - H. Osterfield

Disney || Osterfield || Main || Taglist

Requested? Nah 688 words

"𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧, 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞; 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞"

They say when it's not for you, set it free; if it comes back to you, it's meant to be. No one tells you what happens when the person you love comes back three times and all three times never worked out. No one tells you what happens when that same person comes back the fourth time and is now standing outside your door.

Harrison paced back and forth in his shared flat with the boys. It annoyed Harry that Harrison was stressing over seeing you through the peephole.

"Get a grip, will you?!" Harry shouted, having enough of Harrison's pacing. Harrison looked at him with a questioning glance which made Harry roll his eyes. "You're pacing again. Quit worrying because this happened before. You and Y/N will get back together and for some reason either you or her will say some bullshit and that bullshit will get in the way of you two and then you'll break up. I'm sick of this! Aren't you tired of the same shit? Because I am. I'm tired of witnessing it."

"But it's Y/N we're talking about here. She's outside right now." Harrison said.

"So? Give yourself a little dignity. You're not her doormat." Harry told him. "Tell her you want something that'll last because you deserve that and she deserves that too, but you don't deserve each other. This is the fourth time. It should've stopped a long time ago."

"But what if it's really her and me in the end?" Harrison asked.

Harry scratched his head and sighed, "Mate, the fact that every time you two would try again, everything goes to shit. It's a CLEAR SIGN from the universe that you two aren't meant to be. Don't be, in Robert Pattinson's words, delusional! Your mind is literally full of delusions about you and Y/N."

Harrison frowned.

"Haz, she's a great girl and she's cool to hang out with. Your energy together is so powerful and it's a great tandem, but not all great tandems are couples. Sometimes, they're best friends. Maybe you guys are better off as friends." Harry explained.

"I guess so." Harrison said sadly. "But I love her."

"And she loves you back, but love isn't enough for things to work out." Harry told him.

You knocked on the door once more and Harry looked at Harrison. The older man looked at his curly haired friend and sighed. Harrison walked to the door and opened it.

"Y/N, we can't keep-"

"Haz! I have someth-"

You looked at each other and laughed. "You go first." Harrison said.

"Okay." You took a deep breath and said, "Haz, I love you and you mean so much to me and as much as I want to try again, I can't. I'm moving to Canada and I know you want to start a family here and I can't do that. I realized we both have different paths and it sucks because I really want to be with you."

Harrison just stared at you.

"Please say something." You begged.

"Um." Harrison just shrugged. "It's okay. I was going to tell you that we can't go on anymore."

"Why?"

"Because we're in an on and off relationship and it's tiring. Besides, whenever we get together, shit happens and I think it's a sign that we aren't meant for each other." Harrison explained which made you chuckle.

"That's true." You smiled at him. "Well, I have to go. I'm going to pack my things."

"Okay." Harrison smiled. "Have fun in Canada!"

"Thank you!" You beamed and waved him goodbye before getting in your car and driving away.

Harrison went back inside and closed the door. Harry looked at him expectantly and asked, "Well?"

"We're done for good. Besides, if we did get back together, it wouldn't work again because she's moving to Canada." Harrison said.

"See? It's another sign." Harry pointed out.

"True." Harrison said and sat next to Harry. "She has her path and I have mine. I'll just enjoy my life until the right one comes along."

"That's exactly what I'm doing. There's no rush, anyway." Harry said.

* * * *

lol i didnt know how to end it & i hope it made sense

𝐇𝐀𝐙 𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @blueleatherbag @cocoamoonmalfoy @thatforgottenangel @parkerpeter24 @turtoix @givebuckyhisplumsnow @hotforharrison @chewymoustachio @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @yourstrulyamour @pearce14 @juliediggory @lharrietg @thevelvetseries @buckymylove @quxxnxfhxll @angelsgrxzer

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @holland-styles @trustfundparker @calltothewild @felicityparkers @hufflepuffprincess24 @tommysparker @justasmisunderstoodasloki @quaksonhehe @call-me-baby-gir1 @itstaskeen @theonly1outof-a-billion @lost-in-the-stars03 @justafangirlduh @piscesparker @speedymaximoff @miraclesoflove @lexirv @blairscott @getbywithasmile @pqrkerr @lavender-writer @blackbat2020 @hoodpankow

[artreider]

Daughter is down for the night, let's see if internet will allow me to watch and live blog the next episode.

Travis is so hurt and that just hurts me. I'm glad we are getting his backstory with Michael.

Okay so if Michael died in 2016 and it was 2009 at the start of the episode, then they were together for at least six years. So travis has been a firefighter at least 11 years at this point in the series. So what station was he at, and how did he and Michael meet. Im just curious because theo calls his buddy michael probie and then doesnt say travis name. Travis tells him name and instead of calling probie as well making me believe he had been either a firefighter for a bit longer than Michael or he is from a different station, because surely if they were all at the same station he would call him by name or maybe travis is from a different shift at the station.

I love this episode but it still left me with questions.

Also so i didnt even make it five minutes in, thanks internet let's restart it.

Also are they all in the same academy class because it sounds like it.

I'm not okay with travic being not a dynamic duo at the start, i love their friendship.

Hey look the captain has returned lol, also this sushi conversation i have had with my coworker. Leftover sushibis just wrong, fight me on this. Im glad maya agrees. Also i agree with sulluvan its from the grocery store, i dont eat my sushi from anywhere but a restaurant thats gross, and making it day old is worse.

Of course travis agrees with the sushi talk, they are truly two peas in a pod. Im surprised vic didnt ask to stay at maya and carina's for a few days.

I like theo and jack this episode.

Vic looks tripped out by travis showing her his scars lmao. Travis and this scar analogy is fantastic and makes me giggle, so dramatic.

I still dont know how i feel about these two drug addicts.

First commercial and i just want to add that the sushi scene i love, the family feel is wonderful.

Michael and travis are so cute. Also how long was theo a captain before michael died?

Listening to libby you can tell how troubled travis is by the look on his face. Its like he's thinking what if something were to happen to Hughes and we weren't in a good place.

Im glad jack came to talk to theo. It's good for them both.

Emmett you cutie. Im glad he is speaking truths to travis.

This proposal is so cute, the double proposal makes me so happy.

Travis needs to become a dad, he so wanted that future with Michael.

Its so cute that theo was there for the proposal and his best friends. Who stood up for travis at the wedding and who married michael and travis? Im headcanoning theo marrying them.

I totally get travis's feelings about theo in light of Michael's death but with how involved he was with the two i wish travis had found some way to heal with his friend sooner.

Vic trying to discuss Emmett, oh i love you.

This scene by the trees is so tough.

I bet they had so much fun shooting this even if it was difficult material.

So travis is in a apartment instead of his house with michael, howd that happen.

The things they are saying to each other are so hard. Everyone grieves differently.

Okay how long was theo a firefighter before he became captain. They were possibly in the academy in 2009, he was training for lt in 2010 and in 2012 he was put up for captain. So it seems he was on the fast track like maya. Okay he was only at lt for 6 months with may he a bit longer than maya.

Though she definitely made better decisions as captain. Also i love that ripley put up for it and ripley is who told maya to become lt and that she'd be a good captain.

Theo's joke about dying in a fire is just wrong.

Theo did make a bad call like travis worried but his being green should be a reason to find forgiveness for him.

Im glad michael stood uo for his friend. Also travis asked if it was a good idea theo being michaels captain, not ours. That further leads me to believe that travis was at a different station. I really cant shake the thought that he was at station 19 by this point for the simple fact of capt hererra saying he hand picked all of them.

Its nice that travis is finally talking to vic about his anger and sadness over michael, his grief and apologizing for his comments about ripley.

Okay so based off the past episodes for the characters, gibson and miller have been at the station longer than andy and maya and it appears travis has been as well. So that just has me questioning how long hughes has been, did we get dates when we learned how she became a firefighter, i cant remember.

Who notified travis that Michael was gone? He wasn't on scene otherwise he'd already have seen theo.

Theo was so good to own up to his mistake to the higher ups and travis.

The house vs apartment thing bothers me about station 19. Like maya's apartment always felt like a house and then we see its an apartment. Travis lived in a house with Michael and now has an apartment filled with Michael's things. Then Jack had an apartment or something in season 3 and now lives with martha and co. Then vic is basically homelessx had an apartment then jumped from friends homes. I dunno why i bothers me so, i guess it just feels so inconsistent, i dunno if that makes sense.

Ugh the ruiz and Gibson scene here is so good for them once again and im glad it helped marcus. Im sad marcus wont be a part of jacks life anymore.

Theo why did you decide to talk to vic about ripley? Not that it was a bad talk just curious what sparked it.

Travis im so proud of you, this talk here is so important for your healing. Vic i love your joke. Yay my travic is healing.

Okay so hughes was probie in 2016 after michael died. Ugh i need to know more about travis time at station 19 before during or after whatever michael died. Also when did andy and maya graduate im blanking on the year.

Travic's first scene at the station together is so lovely.

Ugh travis's phone call is so rough.

So travis cant vacation very well either, no wonder he told maya to enjoy her trip with carina in sesson 3.

The station 19 actors are so phenomenal. Such a wonderfully acted episode.

So as im sure my followers and anyone else reading this has gathered, i decided to do this live blog as one whole thing since the anon was upset by my previous posts. If you hate this and think i should go back to the other way let me know or if i should take their suggestion and creatr my own tag let me know. Basically if you are interested in my live blog please let me know what you think.

The anon has been weighing on me leading me to almost not want to finish my live blog of the series.

[masakuterarr]

Funny how everyone slowly realizes the time part thingy LMFAO ITS LITERALLY LIKE EATING POPCORN AND WATCHING HOW EVERYONE FACE IS CHANGING WHEN REALIZING- this is the best I've ever seen in my life. I wanna go over your sweet ass comments now, cuz no way I just reblog it individually- so have one big post again :) first of all THANK YOU hehe 🤍 you guys are ff cute and it brings me so much joy that I woke up today and could read your reblogs ;3; smoochies from me here!

you guys are just ff cute I can't- idk if you should read this every day but I am not holding u back LOL to go over your points now!

AMEN. It is actually cute to me how Uvo turns everything into some way of violence. Even if it's just verbally. I think one of my favorite scenes is how Uvo arrives and ignores anyone to just talk to Chrollo like "So now, I am here Boss! What are we gonna get this time? Comon give us the order already!" - I melt everytime, I swear. (also I'll give u a short video of my fav german uvo scenes in he end cuz I can't shut up about it and you have to go through this now too. I don't care, it's too late for you to get out of it anymore :) )

also AMEN! ITS SO FUNNY TO ME. Uvo just hates it. Idk if he would actually chase that mf then or just go back to the base and throw hands so everyone has to endure him being pissed.

his ego is as big as Escanor and I love it. Tho, the fucking sad thing is that exactly this ego is the thing that killed him in the end. But I will probably make an individual post for that. Cuz it's really sad if you think about it and compare it to Sarasa's death. Tho again, later on that with it's own post :)

it's just so sad- He feels guilty and he just wants to be the strongest to protect what is important to him. He said he wants to be the strongest villain ever which is bittersweet. Cuz if he is that villain that everyone fears, he can protect his friends with it. Cuz then noone would dare to get past him to touch his family, right? Fuck this shit hurts everytime...

ABSO-FUCKIGN-LUTELY He feels guilt and he HATES it. He HATES that he feels guilty because why should he? He told himself before that he is gonna do bullshit things. He actively decided to do it. And yet there he is, still feeling some guilt over it. Also what would Sarasa think if she saw them doing all this? She would surely not be happy, right? And Uvo KNOWS it. He knows it and wants to drown all these thoughts so bad. He is just a traumatized child avoiding his own reality because he is too weak to face it :')

I will go into some detail now. Cuz I kinda forgot to put it intot he original post but ah here we go. Uvogin realized at some point that Kurapika is gonna go the same shitty way he went. And that's the only reason why he laughed in the end. He knew Kurapika already did one step too far and will likely fall into the same shitty cold and horrible hole he fell into. And he knows that getting revenge doesn't get you anything. Killing didnt fill this hole he has from Sarasa's death, as much as he would like to think it did. Killing or getting his revenge is just trying to fill a horizontal hole with water. It is full for one second and then it just drips out again, till it's fully open again.

Uvogin realized that and in his last ff moment got amused by the thought that Kurapika is much likely to face the same he had to face. And tbh I find it really ff great how he got amused by that- Cuz it did show that he also finally realized and faced that reality himself.

Gosh this bebi is a ff legend.

to put it simply. YES. That is exactly what I meant and I am very sure that this is an actual thought process Togashi had for it. I will fight over this for my entire life. Don't even try me. LOL It is pureply angst and I did this with the full intension to make everyone suffer who realizes it. You're welcome. last bits now I swear

I have to thank you guys for being so supportive. Cuz otherwise I would have never posted such a thing. So it's a 'one hand washes the other'- I guess... is that how the saying goes? I think so. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN OKAY

I mean it when I say this character means a lot to me so I wanna give him some justice that he deserves. I think if Uvo had generally more screentime and more casual moments people would be hyped over him like they are for Nobunaga and Feitan. Maybe even as much as for Chrollo. Cuz hear me out, Uvogin is not a side character. He is WAY TOO important for that. The impact he had on the story is INSANE and I am a bit sad that not enough people see it. Tho maybe it's good so we have less toxic people in this small uvo bubble :D

YEP. In Togashi's name, AMEN. Uvo is a legend and he fully served. And I think the best thing that shows it is that we are literally sitting here rn and wishing for more of him. He didn't had much but what he did with that bit was crazy. And I am so happy that Togashi made Uvo a ff legend. And I am sure you can tell that Togashi has a sweet spot for Uvogin as well. And that makes me happy. Cuz as someone who has own characters for giant world buildings too, it is the best compliment ever when people love even the characters that don't appear for too long. Okay, enough with my half bible here, I will now get u my fav Uvo scenes.

here UwU (I will put the link in when I can finally upload that other post with the ff video in it cuz tumblr won't let me post a video on a reblog... thanks tumblr)

I will give u anyways cuz I FUCKING CAN. Deal with it. Watch it. This is a demand. Cuz, this might be sour for some people BUT german dub Uvo is the best Uvo and no you can not change my mind. Also fff credits to you, You know who you are (also I am bad at remembering names) I didnt know I would find another person here who watched the german dub. Thank you, you literally made my day. CUZ I CANT SHUT UP ABOUT IT *cries* anyways, enjoy, and have a nice day Uvo nation 🤍

HxH Character Analysis : UVOGIN

*cracks my fingers* alright peoples, I've been cooking this for DAYS now and I finally have everything gathered (at least I hope so). So lean back, get something to drink and maybe some paper and pen to take notes :) This will be a long one! (btw if there are missspellings I am really sorry, english is not my native language and it's too much that I wrote and I do not have the energy to look over it again- :') )

Character Analysis of Uvogin, regarding the Sarasa Incident

Numbing and Emotional Detachment

A dumb brute with just muscles and pureply driven by the joy to kill. That's probably how a lot of people would describe him. This is actually not really true and I will explain why I think that.

In my perception Uvogin pureply kills because a) it's his 'job' and b) because he wants to drown his own emotions.

There are generally 2 Options we can work with.

Uvogin kills because it's one of the only things that give him a positive feeling, which lasts short term.

Uvogin kills because it's something that numbs his emotions

If we go with option 1, we assume that Uvogin relates positive feelings with killing.

Killing the people who came to kill himself, assumingly gives Uvogin the most pleasure (kinky lol). Assumingly it gives him some kind of kick of adrenaline, knowing he might potentially gives his life. It's probably a same kind of feeling with the russian roulette. (Most people play it because of the death wish, but I don't wanna focus on that too much for Uvogin. This death wish with Uvogin can be a giant topic for itself-)

I simply think, Uvogin got addicted to this kick of adrenaline over time and now simply can't stop.

In the german dub of HxH 2011 it's even put a bit better. There Uvogin says "Because dudes like you appear here and there, I just can't stop killing. It's like an addiction"(I am just obsessed with some of the wording in different languages. Plus I LIVE for german dub Uvogin lol)

NOW, what is ironic about this, is that some moments before Kurapika asked Uvogin what they feel when killing innocent people they don't even know. To which Uvogin answers with "Nothing"

I found this weird so I came to the conclusion that Uvogin has a) to difference between killing innocent people and people who come to revenge or b) he doesn't even know it himself and he is just a confused mess, which makes sense if you consider how his mental health state is after unhealed trauma and unhealthy coping mechanism (but I will go intot his now anyways).

But if we consider Option 2, that killing people is actually numbing his feelings, he might even be the complete opposite of what we thought he is. In this case he might be a emotional mess and killing people is what calms him down.

No matter what tho, Uvogin is heavily addicted to the act of killing and he continues to kill because it's something that distracts him from his emotions. Because judging for how long this has been ago, Uvo is way too deep into this entire hole of killing as coping that he can't bare to face the reality that by now, he is probably even worse than Sarasas murder. So he drowns himself in distraction, pushing the reality down his throat so he does not have to face it. But even if he wanted to, he would probably just break at the actual realization of what he has become.

Extreme Punctuality and The Urge to Control The Uncontrollable

(ah my favorite and the least thing looked at)

At first look it is just a cute funny detail added to Uvogins character to make him a bit more relateable and whole as a character. But looking at it I actually realized a sad thing.

Remember when Sarasa went out alone? The others thought she was just gonna get the tape and come back.

If you look at it and put it simply. Sarasa was late. You know what Uvo hates? Someone being late. Nice when the realization kicks in, is it? :)

To explain it now;

When they found Sarasa in the forest, it was already too late. Uvo realized that if they were to search for her earlier or just arrive earlier, they might have had a chance to make an impact on the outcome. Or even save her life.

With this in mind, Uvogins focus on being punctional now seems less random. His anger towards his comerades being late probably isn't even intentionally. Sarasa's death might have impacted Uvo with a strong sense of responsibility as well.

He wants to gain control over things he can't even control, which is a really common coping response to trauma. He once lost control over something, which led to a tragic consequence and now he fears to lose control once again. So Uvogins 'anger' is not because he is actually mad, but because he fears that the same thing happened to them. He simply just cares and is scared that the ones he cares about are getting hurt and worst case, even die.

Because it happened once. So it's much likely to happen again, right? This is a common anxiety thought process.

Outer Persona and Antisocial Behavior

It is obvious that Uvo has a certain 'tough-guy' persona that he shows to the outside world. It becomes very clear when he fights against Kurapika

When Uvogin begins to realize that Kurapika is stronger than he thought and (from his view) maybe even stronger than himself, you can see how this persona is slowly breaking down.

Outer Personas are a common thing for people with Anxiety and Depression. So I think it is save to assume, this is the case with Uvogin. The reason for that can be really simple; from just wanting to not let the others worry about his mental state or just to seem invincible to other people/enemies.

But it can also be, that Uvogin tries to convince himself that he is invincible and not wants to accept how vulnerable he actually as. And yet again, not being able to accept that he wasn't strong enough when Sarasa needed him to be.

To the 'antisocial' part;

When they found Sarasa in the bag back then, Uvo was about to leave her and the others. This always seemed a bit off to me. Why would he leave if he cared so much about her?

People have various reactions to when they don't know how to handle a situations or emotions. Some people laugh, some cry, some stay silent and some get angry. Uvogin is seemingly someone to cope with aggression or isolation/detachment. He probably just wanted to vanish because he felt weak and helpless, and his body instinctively reacted with aggression and the attempt to cut himself out off the scene.

Even at some point in the fight against Kurapika, you can see how Uvo started to gave up and just emotionlessly repeated himself to Kurapika: "Kill me" .

This also leads to (imo) Uvogin's biggest weakness :

Uvogin and Panic

Uvo is a strong and smart fighter, when it comes to combat. He can probably plan out a lot within just a few moments and has an incredible skill at creative problem solving.

Tho, for me, it tends to panic really easily, leaving him extremely vulnerable. The best example is in his fight against Kurapika but also against the Shadow Beasts. Theres a moment when he got caught off guard and starts to slightly panic, which led him to instinctively cope with aggression;

In the 2011 anime he even calls one of them "bastard" after collabsing onto the ground.

(small addition here cuz Shal wtf, why do you look like someone got you flowers after your comerade just collabsed onto the ground, obviously about to get tortured now??)

anyways-

Uvogins Ego and Self Blame

Ofc this can just be Uvo being Uvo, as he thinks a lot of his own abilities and skills, but since this is an analysis, why not looking into it too?

Maybe Uvogin tends to have an ego problem and high temper because he does not want to get reminded that he can fail too. Because in his opinion, the last time he failed, it led to Sarasa's death.

Logically it is obviously not his fault that Sarasa died. The kids straight up didn’t know what would or could happen. But I am very sure that Uvo always blamed himself for it. The same probably goes for Chrollo and the others as well. And since Uvogin is not in a healthy envirnment, nor got treatment for his trauma ever, he surely blames himself.

(And at this point he surely is not able to stop/change his mind on that anymore. Uvo would straight up rage if he was put into a therapist's office LOL)

A similar thought process might have happened when Uvo got kidnapped by the nostrade family and the others had to save him. After all, it would fit a LOT into his pattern of feeling vulnerable and coping with aggression trying to protect his ego. Cuz if he doesn’t he has to face the reality that he was too weak (again) and the others had to save him, putting them indirectly in potential danger.

His thought process is probably something like: I was too weak → others had to save me → IF they get injured or worst case someone dies bc of it, it is his fault → Cuz they had to save HIM. Because this again is a comon pattern when it comes to Anxiety and Depression.

which leads me to the next point;

Overcompensation with strength and the fear of weakness

My last point. A simple but sad one.

Uvo simply feats of being weak. So he purely focuses on physical strength and mastering his nen as an enhancer.

"If I am too weak, I just need to get stronger, right?"

Because he is an enhancer, he would probably think this simple. And even if we look at it from a depression perspective; A quick way out and taking the first idea to not waste any more time. Especially since Uvo does not seem to be much of an overthinker.

He had emptiness and many questions inside him and his first instinctive answer was strength. As simple as that.

gosh this was a lot- but I warned you before so don't blame me LOL

I hope I was able to explain my thought about him and how I look at him :) I will maybe do a second part, focusing on the "death wish" part I talked about earlier! We will see, no promises.

Feel free to tell me your opinion on this! I would love to hear them 🤍