#my beautiful wife and also cinderella i guess

[h20milk]

guess who ive been woo'ing.

[meteor752]

Episode 6 and 7 thoughts

This will now be a regular thing

Also im writing this as I go

Episode 6

So Izzy thought Ed was Roach. Huh. Does he and Roach talk regularly? <- Coming from a Rizzy shipper

“Do weeeee?” Fang I love you

Oh my god, Frenchie and Jim coming to Ed and Stede like they’re kids asking if their cousins can sleep over

The crew going shoppiiiiiiiiing!!!

Frenchie’s lil dancey dance added many years to my life

Ed being nice and giving kids mon- oh never mind, oh that’s a knife okay. Ed never have kids please

“Don’t pirate kids” well listen okay I don’t have HBO Max it’s the only way I can watch this show

MY QUEEN

Wee John you’re so beautiful and amazing and we don’t deserve you

Jim’s lil mustache, like yeah me too <- Non-Binary person

Stede looks so happy about seeing Wee John!! He’s so proud of his son!

Izzy is gorgeous. I’m actually so happy to see him explore more sides of himself, and to find things he can indulge in. This whole season has really just been Izzy’s big therapy arc

His hair makes him look a bit like Cinderella’s evil stepmother though

Oh he can sing too! Izzy!!! <- A person who did not like Izzy in season one

Wee John X Izzy? Roach X Fang?

YO THE

POLYCULE DANCING?!

Ed protecting Stede….just, immediately putting him behind himself…I just…

I rewatched that clip five times

“Because I only hang out with cool pirates” Stede’s face!!! He’s just like Oh Snapppp

Despite it all, Stede and Ed are still the cutest couple that has ever graced the TV screen. Like hell yeah, make fun of people together!

Ed keeps being protective…..okay I need a moment…

Roach you’re a lunatic and I love you

“Whatever this is it’s just gonna turn me on” Izzy you’re a shining star

Also I just now noticed that Black Pete and Lucius aren’t there. I’m guessing they eloped somewhere and are currently taking care of their adopted cat

Nope okay, literally the second I unpaused there they are. That’s the worst timing

Hell yeah my dudes, I hope you broke whatever bed you used

“I’m just doing it for the lolz” Yeah that’s sounds like something someone from the 1700s would say

I know this is a pirate ship but why do they just have so many knives and swords laying about

Who is this fanged torture queen, and how do I acquire her number?

Stede remains best employer, while Aziraphale is the best landlord. Can these two people just run the world please and thank you

Hell Cat Maggie is my soulmate

I feel like there needs to be a pirate workers union

The crew of the revenge is the best found family of all time

Stede Bonnet can rival Steven Universe in reforming villains, like he’s just such a genuinely nice dude

“Alright gang! Let’s talk profit sharing”

Oh protective Stede, alright let’s go mate defend your mans

Okay but why is Stede kinda 👀 in this scene

Oh Stede, love…

OH THEY FAWHKING

That French? Izzy speaks french?

I want to see that man get dicked down

I guess the revenge now has a pet goat

Episode 7

Okay Ed is a soft boy again, aight

NO NOT THE LEATHER JACKET

The anime toast in mouth thing. He’s officially been baby girl for a long while, but we’re really solidifying it

OH THEY FUCKED

Isn’t there an anime where a mob boss becomes a house wife? Yeah that’s Ed

Oh we’re telling him about the mermaid fantasy, okay

Izzy what the fuck, you’re amazing

“He’s jealous” my darling

The polycule is going strong, and I love the absolute lack of jealousy. This is the best representation I have ever had

Oh they’re going on a date! That’s so sweet actually

It’s really sweet that they’re talking about their time apart

Stede’s famous now? Good for him!

I need to stop falling in love with every pirate lady In this show. That being said, I hope we see more of the fangirl lady

I’m reinforcing my claim that Stede and Ed are cuter than anything that has ever been on screen

OH MY GOD SWEDE

The Söt Och Saftig, my love. Also this far in and this is the first time the character “The Swede” actually says something in Swedish

Scammer Frenchie is back in business, love that

Jim and Archie trying to get their boyfriend set up is very sweet actually

The character development of Izzy going from wanting Ed to remain “Blackbeard” to him saying if being a softie makes him happy then he should do that, like I get it now, I know why you all love this man

OH MY FUCKING GOD STEDE

Can’t believe Stede is an official Slut now

Open communication? Like genuine conversation about their relationship, and the pace they’re taking it? Ed being honest that he’s not ready for the steps they’re taking in their relationship?

What is this argument

I live for Lucius and Black Pete’s nicknames for each other

“I’ve only known you for a few hours Bonnet, but I’d fucking die for ya” Same random dude. Same

Izzy🥹

Zheng and Olu are really cute actually

Oh my god the polycule will end my fucking life

DONT BRING ED INTO THIS ZHENG

“That was really mean” YOU TELL HER STEAK KNIFE

Protective Jim my beloved

Oh my god

Roach and Fang friendship?

Roach is the queen of self care

[hoshigray]

i have been thinking of doing a beauty and the beast sukuna au for like 3 accounts now and the fact i have yet to do it is so funny; like he’s cursed to stay in his true form and he hates his true form and must find someone to love him in his true form to break the curse (i have also thought about genie reader x sukuna too 😣😣)

HELP THE WAY I FUCKS WITH THIS PROMPT SINCE THE JJK X DISNEY ARC BC IT MADE MORE SENSE THAN SUKUNA X CINDERELLA 💀💀💀 (also damn three accounts and not a post in sight, girl you need to fucking stop lmfao) but omg Mona you're so fucking right like word for word. Like I can imagine you both catch feelings but never say anything. But then when he's about to die, he ALMOST says it to you before unfortunately passing on. Then, heartbroken, you said "No, please!! I'm so sorry...I love you, I always loved you....please forgive me for not saying so earlier. You may have saw yourself as a beast, but I saw you as the man that stole my heart. I'm so so sorry, Sukuna....Your form means nothing to me. I just want you....." and then poof he's alive again but imagine he comes back as his true form bc you loved him as his true form!! And then he MARRIES YOU IN HIS TRUE FORM, IN THE FORM HE HATES BUT YOU LOVE SO DEEPLY— MONA PLEASE WRITE THIS D O W N ASDFEHWUAHQIKAOAQ and woooah, never thought of genie reader x kuna. Lol I can imagine them not getting along and you begrudgingly doing his first wish, but you two start to like each other and then he wishes you as his wife uwu

alsooo since we're on the topic if writing, guess who gave in and started writing for hitman! Toji x haindmaiden! You last night 🧍🏾‍♀️💦 MAN I HAD TROUBLE IF I WANTED HIM AS A HITMAN OR A SERIAL KILLER, BUT I'M ALREADY DOING SERIAL KILLER TOJI WITH SUKUNA SOOOOOO. But I think I'm gonna follow with how we talked about it; him breaking into your apartment when he hears about you and then finding out you're about to be engaged. But like....WHO PUT A RING ON YOU THOUGH??¿¿??¿¿¿¿ I deadass had to stop writing and think about it bc I made you and geto coupled up; however, that'd make you like 10+ years older than him 😅😅😅 I think I'll just roll with it but sheeesh lol hmmm I could do Naoya but idk he pisses me off LMFAO

[legofanguy]

Toy Story Cinderella AU

A Toy Story Cinderella AU for @klayr-de-gall event AU-gust 2024 day 7 fairy tale featuring the cast of Toy Story in the story of Cinderella.

Once upon a time, there was a red hair girl named Jessie whose live with her step mother and her two blonde hair step sisters. Her step mother hate Jessie for her beauty that show her good heart and she and her two lazy daughters would have Jessie do all of the work around the house as a servant and Jessie would get covered in ashes as such that her step sisters would mocking call her Cinderella as a cruel joke.

One day, Jessie's step family got a letter of a ball for Prince Buzz Lightyear and Jessie's step mother said to her daughters, "Girls, you are about to win a prince for me." and the girls get ready for the ball tonight.

By night fall, Jessie's family get ready to go to the ball with her step sisters wearing dresses of green and purple. As her step family left for the ball, her step mother said to Jessie, "We may be back by the time of midnight. You better not run away by the time we get back." and close the front door. Jessie watched them leave for the ball on their wagon and she think to herself, 'How comes they have to go to the ball? I want to go to the ball, and I have a idea how to get there.' Jessie sneak inside her step sisters closet inside their shared bedroom and put on a spare white dress that is her size and then dye her hair blonde as well put on a mask so her step family would not realized whose she is. Jessie also get her late mother glass slippers and find that these slippers fit her. Soon, she get a spare horse and, hooking it to a wagon, Jessie head to the ball by a dirt road.

Arriving at the ball, Jessie was amazed by the beauty of the white palace as royals talk to each other, and she overhear talks about Prince Buzz and that he has promise to look for a wife within the ball.

At a balcony, Prince Buzz Lightyear look bored as his best friend and personal servant Woody said to him, "You know that this ball is about you, Buzz." and Buzz said to him, "Yeah. It is to find a wife for me. My father the king need a grandson since he is getting old, so he want me to find the right one in this ball." and sigh.

Walking to the dance floor, Buzz was taken in by the beauty of a young woman in white whose walk by him and he ask her, "Pardon me, but may I have this dance?" and she reply, "Oh..." while nervous about the prince and then answer, "Yes." Jessie quickly said to the young man, "My name is Cinderella." and Buzz said to her, "What a strange name for a beautiful woman like you." as they begins to dance. Many guests watched the young couple.

When the clock tower rings midnight, Jessie realized she has to home and said to Buzz, "Sorry, I must be going home." and run off in a hurry that she drop one of her glass slippers, which Buzz pick up and, as Woody run to his side, said to his friend, "Woody, I think I found the one." and Woody comment, "Too bad that she was wearing a mask, Buzz."

Once she got home, Jessie quickly wash off the hair dye from her red hair and put the dress and glass slipper away before her step family soon arrived mintues later, upset at the mysterious masked woman whose won Prince Buzz's heart.

The next day, Buzz and Woody travel around the kingdom for Cinderella and use her lost glass slipper to test each woman whose was at the ball, but each one couldn't fit in the slipper, like it was magic. Soon, Buzz and Woody arrived at Jessie's house and her step sisters come forward to be test as Jessie work in the kitchen. The step sister in green try first, but her feet was too big. The step sister in purple then try, but her feet was too small.

As Woody said to his best friend, "Prince Buzz, I guess that Cinderella was from another country." and the step sister in purple hear this and call out, "Wait, did you said Cinderella?" Buzz ask the step sister, "Yes. Do you know her?" and the step sister in purple said, "Yes, she live here, but her real name is Jessie and she must have been working at home all night, since she was here when we got back home around midnight." before her angry sister try to get her sister to be quiet and Buzz said to himself, "Said, Cinderella did leave around midnight."

Jessie was brought before Buzz and he take a look at her before saying, "You look somewhat familar, despite your red hair." Jessie put on the glass slipper, which fit her perfectly to everyone shock. Jessie then get out the other glass slipper and put it on, which made Buzz said to her, "It's you! You are Cinderella!" and Jessie introduced herself, "My real name is Jessie."

Soon, at the castle, Jessie and Buzz got married and they lived happily ever after.

[skywitchmaja]

okay let’s try this: here’s some disney song sorted into somewhat formal categories and ranked.

oh sweet that seems to have worked!

disclaimer i guess: i hate disney as a corporation for a lot of reasons, but i love movies and music and animation and talking about music and movies and animation. so here we are

“i want” songs: a term taken from broadway by ashman and menken to describe the song towards the beginning of the movie where the protagonist sings about their goals at the outset of the story. this is the only one with a top ten instead of a top five, and even a couple honorable mentions

10. a dream is a wish your heart makes— cinderella. it’s memorable and sweet!

9. one jump ahead— aladdin. it’s catchy and energetic and fun, and a better world builder than the actual opener (what with that one revised racist line)

8. for the first time in forever— frozen. i think it does really well to showcase anna and elsa’s conflicting feelings about opening the castle, how their wants and needs are at odds with themselves and each other, and i love how the musical motifs from “let it go” are introduced here.

7. reflection— mulan. it’s so beautiful and evocative, you can really feel mulan’s inner conflict

6. i just can’t wait to be king— the lion king. fun catchy and with a bitter ironic twist

5. repunzels daily routine— tangled it’s sweet it’s fun it’s catchy, i like repunzel

4. how far i’ll go— moana. i love how the melody reprises in “i am moana” it’s just so good

3. almost there— princess and the frog. it’s so fun and energetic, and it’s more ambitious than wistful which is a welcome change

2. belle & belle reprise— beauty and the beast. this serves sort of a double purpose as a world builder and an “i want” song and really elegantly contextualizes how what belle wants is at odds with the world she lives in. would be number one except it feels like cheating to give an ensemble number and a two parter that spot.

honorable mentions: when you wish upon a star— pinocchio. not a classical “i want” song because pinocchio isn’t singing it, but disney uses it as their brand leitmotif so. there’s that. go the distance— hercules. it’s good. like other girls— mulan TWO?? the only song from a sequel i remember even a little bit, it’s such a bop.

1. part of your world— the little mermaid. THE “i want” song. i also have a special place in my heart for this one because it was the first song i ever learned when i took voice lessons as a kid (which is. i won’t get into it.) but anyway, ariel’s curiosity and earnestness is touching, it’s no wonder this song kicked off the disney renaissance.

villain songs: people love villain songs and they love to talk about how much they love villain songs. here are some of them.

5. hellfire— hunchback of notre dam. grandiose and scary, this is a killer song about religious intolerance and hypocrisy.

4. gaston/mob song— beauty and the beast. would be ranked higher except i can’t rightly separate these two. “gaston” particularly serves a duel purpose as a “fun-and-games” song FOR the villain and the villagers, and also sets up gaston’s power of popularity and just how he can sweep the whole village into a mob at the snap of his fingers. also they’re both in a major key (in the movie. in the musical it says mob song is in a minor. does this happen a lot with broadway adaptations?)

3. mother knows best— tangled. so insidious and manipulative i love it.

2. be prepared— the lion king. this is not a hot take this is like everyone’s favorite disney song. honestly the hottest take is not giving it the number one spot.

honorable mention: cruella de ville— 101 dalmatians. it’s got a recognizable melody and it’s so funny that roger hates his wife’s coworker so much he wrote a whole song about it. friends on the other side— princess and the frog. it’s a bop!

1. poor unfortunate souls— i love how the lyrics are ursula talking about how “helpful” she is while the music itself sounds so sinister. honestly this ranks really close to “be prepared” in my head but i think it’s just slightly under rated while be prepared is just slightly over rated.

“fun and games” songs— this is a term im borrowing from film school, but probably musical theatre has its own name for it. anyway these are big, danceable ensemble numbers.

5. under the sea— the little mermaid. great example of this song but over rated if you ask me.

4. friend like me and prince ali— aladdin. i think they go together alright because friend like me is the genie introducing himself and his powers to aladdin, and prince ali shows him using his powers. robin williams is great!

3. zero to hero— hercules. so fun and catchy i love the muses.

2. hakuna matata— the lion king. it means no worries for the rest of your days!

honorable mentions: bare necessities— the jungle book. a cute proto hakuna matata. human again— beauty and the beast extended edition. it’s not even in the original movie but it’s so good! love a waltz!

1. be our guest— beauty and the beast. maybe a predictable number one choice but it’s just so funny and charming with this infectious energy, and such a creative animation sequence, (or dance & costume sequence in stage adaptations) i love lumiere’s little boo hoo moment.

world builders— this is a term im taking i from sci fi fantasy media criticism i guess. kind of a weird vague category that can include anything from big ensemble numbers to un named narrators. actually, there aren’t that many examples of this, so i only have a top four.

4. meet the madrigals— encanto. i keep forgetting to include this movie because it’s so new, but this is a bop and a good introduction to the characters.

3. the gospel truth— hercules. i think it’s so interesting to do a gospel music homage in a movie about greek gods and i’ll be damned if the muses aren’t wonderful to listen to. what fun exposition!

2. honor to us all— mulan. closer to the style of “belle” the “prologue”, this tells us the world mulan lives in and we really get a sense of the pressure she’s under.

honorable mentions i guess: prologue— beauty and the beast. i don’t like that it’s just talking over music, but it introduces some beautiful musical motifs that are used later. “belle” with the villagers is also kind of a world opener but it’s so heavily contextualized with belle reprise, belle’s i want song, that i won’t put it here. arabian nights— aladdin. EXACT same situation with one jump ahead and it’s reprise doubling as a world builder and an i want song, except instead of my issue being talking over music, my issue is the orientalism.

1. the circle of life— the lion king. rip to the zebras and gazelles but this is one hell of an opening number.

love songs— self explanatory!

5. once upon a dream— sleeping beauty. i just think it’s pretty and i love how it takes the melody from the ballet.

4. beauty and the beast (a tale as old as time)— beauty and the beast. i’ve already doubled up belle and belle reprise, and gaston and mob song, but for this one i’m actually going to take up two spots in my top five with beauty and the beast songs! it’s just a beautiful song with a beautiful animation sequence. it’s lovely!

3. something there— beauty and the beast. hot take to put two beauty and the beast songs in my top five, an even hotter take to put this non oscar winning song above beauty and the beast, but i love this one. i like that belle and the beast actually sing, but the castle staff still have a few lines to gossip about them lol. their trepidation about falling in love makes their relationship feel so well built. it’s just very sweet.

2. a whole new world— aladdin. i actually don’t have a lot to say about this one, i just think it’s really good.

honorable mention: at last i see the light— repunzel. pretty song and a good storytelling “want vs need” moment where repunzel accomplishes her goal of seeing the lights and realizes it evens more to see then with eugene, and eugene realizes his goal of selling the crown for riches or whatever isn’t as important to him as being with repunzel. that considered, it should be higher, but the music just doesn’t stick with me like some of these others, idk. love is an open door— frozen. a cute little pastiche of fairy tale “love at first sight”, way better than the terrible troll song about kristoff, the actual love interest.

1. won’t say i’m in love— hercules. susan egan. the muses. the concept of this jaded, love spurned princess fighting her feelings until that last soft, reluctant “at least out loud i won’t say i’m in love”. this song gives a lot of much needed depth to the hercules-meg-hades conflict (which i say because herc and hades are more distant from each other and more closely connected to meg) i digress, good song.

[anonesque]

Why I hate weak characters.

Whilst this may be controversial, this is my personal opinion.

I am, first and foremost, a millennial child. That means I was raised with both Disney Princess and Cartoon Network.

As a girl, growing up, I was given the princess-y stuff. I grew up watching Snow White, Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, Mulan - you name it. Princesses that were mostly adapted from the Grimm Brother Tales.

I think my mum hoped that it would change my boyish and introverted personality. I use to label myself as a tomboy, but now, I think myself as someone who prefers to more less-girly stuff.

I mean, I still I am a god-damn beautiful queen. I love how I look when I spin in a dress. I look hella cute. So, yeah - I think, rather than labelling myself as a tomboy, I just like less-girly stuff.

When I first saw disney princesses, starting with snow white, as a 6 years old (or so), I questioned her line of thought. Why was the first person she thought would save her was the prince? couldn't she have just run away? The dwarves literally could've given her a free life. They loved that she was there, and yet, she still wanted the prince.

I, personally thought, that she was an incredibly naive and annoying character. Everyone know that you do not eat anything given by a sus character, and yet she ate the damn apple. Was you dumb? You literally could make yourself a soup or whatnot, and you decided to eat an apple, given by some random old lady, dressed in a black cloak.

I cannot, for the life of me, understand her line of thought.

It was from snow white, I started realising that love makes you stupid.

Again, it is my personal opinion.

Then I was then introduced to another Disney, Cinderella.

Literally... she wanted to be bloody noticed by the prince that for some odd reason, he could only find her by her damn shoe.

Seriously Cindy? you wanted to marry a guy, who didn't recognise at first glance, because you bloody dressed up? Did he have prosopagnosia or what? You were not wearing a damn mask, he should bloody hell recognised you immediately, and you wanted him? really?

God you both belong together.

And then... Came bloody Ariel. Ah... Let's not forget the princess from the bloody sea who was willing to sacrifice her voice for legs. Along the way, sacrificed her father. Stupid girl.

I hated her the most. I preferred the Grimm Brother's version. She died. Turned to bubble and poof into the damn oblivion.

She made no sense to me. She should've been more suspicious.

Honestly, despite my hatred to these princess, I guess they were moulded from the conformity of last century, and the boomer generation.

So you know which princess I did accept?

you know it - Hua Mulan.

I love her. She was the epitome of female empowerment. You say that she was not a princess - Yeah, she wasn't. She was a fucking Queen. A bad bitch who saved a country alongside her countrymen. That is what I grew up loving. She was determined.

She sacrificed for her family, because she was a girl, and her father was old. She brought back honour, and honestly, that is the type of princess that should've been portrayed more in the Telly.

Nevertheless.

I have watched so many dramas in my life, and the type of drama I hate most is when the female character is cutesy cutesy type, needing some saving from her knight and shining armour.

I see a lot of these characters, particularly in Chinese dramas.

Seriously, grow a fucking back bone. Make a name for yourself and don't be dependent.

I have also come across real life situations when husbands divorced their wives to go to their affair partner. The wife is struggling to make do.

It makes me think a lot of the world.

This is the 21st century - we have fought for equality. and no, equality has yet to be achieved, and to be honest, it will never. Why? because of limitations that one body and gender can do, and we cannot deny that.

But why should we moan about that when we can strive?

Can't leave your kids behind? make a business from home. or take up remote working (one of the benefits that COVID gave us)

Don't know what to do? ASK.

Why should you be ashamed about asking for help? You're only human.

I am sure that there will be people who disagree with my opinion, and would call me a pessimist. I am - but I am also a realist with contingency plans.

I do not want to be with anyone without my own security.

Financials? Yours is Yours, Mine is Mine. If we live together, we pay equally together. We plan to have a child, open another bank account for your child with both of you with access.

I grew up seeing things that I shouldn't have to as a child. It scarred me enough. I am selfish because of it. My end goal to be happy, by my own means.

The trust between you and your husband should be there, but understand that with everything, should come with a contract. Black and white. Written with proof.

I am a realist because I grew up striving for my happiness. My happiness is to achieve things by my own means.

[donutloverxo]

Yes captain

Note - this is part three of corrupting a good boy but it's mostly porn so can be read as a standalone as well. Sorry about all the jealousy stuff its just what the muse calls for sometimes. Comments/reblogs are really really appreciated🙏🙏 Dividers by @whimsicalrogers.

Summary - You ask Steve to keep it on while doing it 👀👀

Warnings - 18+ only explicit sexual content, uniform kink, captain kink, daddy kink, roleplaying, jealousy, insecure reader.

Pairing - CEO!Steve x reader

Word count - 4.5k

“Ooo,” you yelped, trying to run away from his firm grip across your hips.

It only made him hold onto you tighter, his nails digging into the flesh of your hips. “There’s no where to run, babygirl,” he chuckled at your misery, delivering another harsh slap to your naked bottom.

You shrieked in pain as your flesh burned in agonising, but delicious pleasure. As if you’d ever want to actually run. “I’m sorry, daddy.” Since you were allowed to call him daddy now, which seemed to always make him forgive you, but you added your princess voice just to be safe and not make it any harder on yourself.

“You should’ve thought of that before you decided to make fun of my team, but you had to be a dumb baby and run your mouth,” he scolded you, slapping you twice before slipping a hand between your legs, the squelching noises of him gathering your slick on his fingers made your ears burn.

You had gotten too bored of him watching the game and not paying attention to you so you might’ve said some mean things about his team, but the jokes on him since your diabolical plan seemed to have worked.

You had gotten too lost in slight tinge of pain in the roots of your hair, that he was pulling, and his fingers teasing your core, you yelped forward when he slapped your pussy, gasping as you throbbed for more of it.

“Honey,” Steve shook your arm causing you to jolt awake.

You had a habit of talking or mumbling nonsense in your sleep and since he was a light sleeper it usually woke him up. He found your incoherent rambles and the little faces you made in your sleep cute, they were particularly intense tonight for some reason, and while he loved you with all his heart he was not about to let you talk nonsense about the Yankees.

“What? Where?” you sat up, rubbing the soft sheen of sweat on your forehead with the back of your hand.

“You were talking in your sleep, sweetheart,” Steve said, rubbing his hand up and down your back, “Come here.” He circled a hand around your waist, pulling you down and back against his chest, kissing the back of your head, “What were you dreaming about, hm?”

“Um...” you blinked, “How much of it did you hear?”

“You think your so clever, don’t you,” he teased, pinching the side of your hip as you giggled.

“Yes, I’m very smart.”

You shut your eyes, ready to go back to dreamland and to your daddy, who was just a version of Steve who liked being called daddy. Which was something Steve would never be into. Not that you’d ever admit to having such a shameful kink.

But you felt Steve grind his excitement against your ass, “You wanna go back to sleep, or...?” he asked, biting the shell of your ear before snaking a hand up your cami to grope your breast.

“You woke me up with such debauch intention?!” you gasped in fake incredulity. Deciding to indulge him and that any time spent with normal real Steve was much better than being with dream daddy Steve.

***

You fixed his tie, tightening it just a bit around his neck. His golden hair was smoothed back, your eyes caught a glimpse of his rosy pink lips. So pouty and perfect. You could spend hours just looking at them, his smile was what truly made you fall for him. But you pulled away when he tried to steal a kiss from you.

“Gloss,” you argued, puckering your lips. Instantly feeling guilty as his pink ones pouted, giving you his sweet puppy eyes.

“Come on, doll, just one kiss? Don’t you wanna wish me luck?” He bent to capture your lips but you moved your head away at the last second, making him groan as his nose bumped against your cheek.

“I spent over two hours getting ready for this!” you huffed, smoothening a hand over your puffy tulle dress, finally having a chance to wear it out in public.

“Did you just smudge my blush?” Gasping, as you looked into the mirror, picking up your rouge and patting it on again.

You loved the dress Steve had gotten you for Christmas, it was so pretty and princess and you felt like Cinderella wearing it.

But it was too... girl-ish, Steve had insisted that you wear it. So he could show off his beautiful new wife.

Tonight though, you had to look like a woman.

A strong woman.

Who is not to be fucked around with. And not someone who is vulnerable and weak.

Because you knew she was going to be there.

“You always look gorgeous,” he mumbled, looking in the mirror and patting his hair to make sure it was in place.

You had convinced him to grow it out. Having more courage to express yourself since the Christmas gift mishap a couple of months ago.

Tucking a loose golden strange behind his ear, you wondered how someone as breathtakingly as beautiful as him could be yours.

But as beautiful as Steve was, he could also be naive. He wanted to see the best in people, which often didn’t let him see what was right in front of him.

How his ex Peggy had been trying to cause problems between you two from day one.

At first she had welcomed you with open arms, with a treacherous smile her red lips had told you that she wanted to be best friends with you. Taking you to the MET museum, of which she was a board member, asking your help in organising a couple of galas and the fundraisers. Shopping with you to make you more presentable to be a CEO’s wife

You were prepared to be wary of her. The fact that Steve was still good friends with his ex, who he had dated for more than five years, didn’t exactly sit well with you, you knew you’d face some troubles there, but then you met her and spent time with her you knew that you did had nothing to worry about.

That was until she, and Steve’s mother, had tried to get you to sign a pre-nup before you both got married.

While Sarah was always nice, you could always sense a tinge of hostility, your intuition told you how she preferred Peggy over you and would much rather have her as Steve’s wife.

With a heavy heart you had told Steve you couldn’t do it. That there was no point in getting married if you would end up divorced eventually. You were ready to cut your losses then, to pack your bags and go home, preparing for the worst. But he understood and said that he wouldn’t be marrying you if he didn’t trust you.

You were glad to have worked out everything, but decided to play nice with ‘Judas', whom you learned had infamously betrayed Jesus from a mass you attended with Steve and Sarah, and pretend that you didn’t know anything about her betrayal.

You shook your head, there was no point in letting her ruin your night, or dictate what you wore. The dress was what you liked and who you were, there was no reason for you to pretend to be like her. Steve liked you because you were nothing like her,

....probably.

You looked over to Steve, tugging his pants up and securing them, you had never once thought you’d be someone who’d have a thing for men in uniforms, they were simply doing their jobs, what the fuck was sexy about uniforms anyway, but that was until you saw your Steve in his...

He really could pull off any color, even something as boring as army green, his chest and built looked almost too broad. Numerous medals adorning his chest. He certainly looked the part of a soldier.

He kissed your temple when he caught you staring at him and you only hoped he couldn’t decipher what was going on in that horny brain of yours.

Steve rarely ever talked about his days in the army. If he did it was about the friends he made and the good times he shared with them. And how army whipped him in shape, made him the man he was.

He had been honorably discharged a couple of years ago, all his army friends only ever spoke highly of him--which wasn’t really surprising.

***

“Hello, darling,” she smiled to you in her classy British accent, kissing your cheek before hugging you, “How have you been? Haven’t seen you since new years!”

“I’m good and you look amazing.”

Which wasn’t a complete lie, she did look elegant in her uniform, a lot similar to Steve’s but her coat had flares at the end which gave it a more feminine feel than that of Steve’s.

“So do you,” she beamed, “Oh, you have a little something,” she gestured to the corner of your mouth before wiping some white frosting from your cupcake off with her thumb as you tried to keep your face from cringing.

So far the strong woman act wasn’t coming along so well...

“So...how is married life?”

Wouldn’t you like to know. “It’s very good. You know Steve, he’s just amazing. I’m lucky to have him.”

“Oh, I did heard about your little goof with your erotica from Natalie, and the gift slip up!” she laughed, hooking her arm around yours, she walked with you towards your husband. “And here I was thinking you are a good girl,” she winked.

“I... guess I’m not...”

“I must say though, unfortunately for you I don’t think Steve would like any of that. He’s always been so traditional,” she rolled her eyes, “He has an old soul.”

Yes, you knew that. You knew that he was traditional and an old soul. Of course You did, he was your husband. Why she felt the need to point out the obvious was beyond you. “Well, you know people can be unpredictable,” you countered.

“Yes, well you’re free to explore of course, I just didn’t want you to get your feelings hurt,” she put a hand over yours.

“Peggy,” Steve greeted her.

“Oh don’t mind us. We’re just gossiping about you,” she smirked.

“Really?” he looked over at you with a quizzical face, “All good things I hope.”

“I don’t have anything bad to say about you,” you said giving Peggy a side eye, “Can we dance? Please?”

It didn’t take a lot of convincing because he loved dancing. After a couple of dances it was time for him to give his speech.

Seeing your husband up on the stage, hearing everyone talk about his accomplishments made your heart swell in pride. You really couldn’t believe you were married to someone like him.

You suppose that you understood where Sarah was coming from. It would make sense for someone like Steve to fall for and marry a classy worldly lady like Peggy. There really wasn’t much you could offer him.

***

“Steve,” you huffed, trying to yank on the zipper for like the tenth time, while you loved the dress you needed to get out of it and breathe for a while.

“Yes, doll?” he called for you, entering your closet, smiling at your struggling form. “How can I help?”

“You can get me out of this thing!” you said, turning your back to him.

You were really feeling yourself tonight, you had gotten a facial and a manipedi, a blowout, spending hours on getting ready for battle. You thought you looked good and fierce. But then you took off your makeup and your extensions and were reminded of how Peggy was much more effortlessly beautiful than you. She had often been dubbed as a ‘natural beauty’.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“Is something bothering you?” he asked as he unzipped you.

“No. Will you let me change now?” you turned around, to politely ask him to leave.

“You’ve changed in front of me before.”

“Yes, well I can’t right now.”

“Why not?” he frowned.

“Because...” You couldn’t stop your eyes from turning misty, “I’m ugly...”

“What? Who told you that?” His face instantly flushed with anger as he held onto your forearms, and when you didn’t push him away he pulled you in closer to his chest.

“No one needs to. I know it because I’m not blind,” you confessed, the cool metal of his medal digging into your cheek.

“Then maybe we need to get your eye sight checked. Because you’re the prettiest girl in this whole world. I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.” He stroked your hair, placing a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“You’ll have to fight the whole world then.”

“If it comes to that then I will.”

You couldn’t help but smile at how protective he was. Propping your chin up on his chest you blinked at him. “Why didn’t you marry Peggy? She’s so much more beautiful.” Your heart was heavy with so many emotions, usually you wouldn’t give in and ask something so dangerous--a question you weren’t sure you wanted the answer to.

Judging by the frown on his face, you were afraid that you had upset him, but then it softened as his pale baby blues twinkled at you, “Why would you say that, doll? Peggy is beautiful, but I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. I could never even dream of marrying anyone else.”

“I’m sorry,” you sighed. “I know I shouldn’t be comparing myself to others.”

“You really shouldn’t. They don’t measure up to you anyway,” he teased.

“It’s just...” you gulped, not being able to hold his gaze you played with the olive green buttons on his coat, “I heard at the party from Tony, that she will be working with you from now on. Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“You don’t trust me?” his voice cracked.

You whipped your head up, frantically shaking your head from side to side, “No no of course I do! I’m just saying it’s a risky game. To be around her so much... what if old feelings resurface?”

Your heart almost broke as he let go of you, putting some distance between you both, “You know all I ever ask for is that you trust me... and love me. I don’t think it’s a lot.”

You scoffed, “Yeah well, I don’t think me asking you not to work with your ex is a lot. No woman would be okay with her husband spending that much time with her ex.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, “Why can’t I get through to you?”

“Maybe try speaking at a fourth grade level. Then I’ll understand. Since I don’t have a masters in literature from Sorbonne,” you rolled your eyes. Maybe he was intimidated by how smart Peggy is and decided to go for someone younger and dumber.

“I’ve never... been in love with Peggy or anyone but you really,” he told you, his broad shoulders hunching as he let out a sigh, “Not the way I’m in love with you. We were always more like friends than... lovers.”

“Is that better or worse?” you wondered out loud. Isn’t it important for husband and wife to be friends as well? Was that supposed to be a compliment?

“It’s much better. We would go months without seeing each other, and I didn’t miss her. Like I miss you when I’m at work. I can’t wait to get away and come home to you. Peggy is amazing, and I’ll always have a special place for her in my heart, but I would never even think about cheating on you.

But... I understand where you’re coming from. Maybe I would react the same way if you were to work with an ex. So I can just tell her that she’ll have to work with Nat, or someone else.”

“No,” you blurted.

Absolutely not.

Because A - You really did trust Steve not to stray. He wasn’t that type of man. And B - That would be admitting defeat. Admitting to her that you are afraid of her.

“I do trust you, Steve. I think... I just need to work on myself. If we don’t have trust then we don’t have anything right?”

“I trust you too, honey,” he kissed your forehead. “Just talk to me about this stuff okay? You can’t keep it bottled up.” You nodded as he worked on loosening his tie.

“Um... is that uncomfortable?” you asked, watching him pop open the first button of his shirt.

“The uniform? A little. It’s been a while since I put it on.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t wear it at our wedding.” You smiled. Maybe it was a good thing that he didn’t. While he looked so handsome in the black tux he had worn, the uniform would’ve made him irresistible. You would’ve spent the whole evening swooning over him.

“It didn’t feel right, I just wanted to be myself. Uh... doll,” he quirked a brow as he caught you staring at his crotch, “Hey,” he snapped his fingers, “My eyes are up here.”

“Yes, um, of course,” you whipped your head up as soon as you heard him, since you were too busy trying to make out the outline of his johnson, “And what beautiful eyes you have!”

“Tell me something. What is your obsession with this uniform?”

“I don’t know what you mean.” You decided to feign ignorance.

“Really? You’ve been staring at me all night. Do you not like it? Do you like it? Sometimes I think I don’t understand women at all.”

You probably would’ve appreciated his suit even more so if you hadn’t spent so much time festering in your jealousy. “I think... it’s... kinda hot,” you sighed dreamily as he blushed a crimson red. “You’re like this big strong Captain, and I’m like this small woman, like a damsel in distress type of thing.”

“Oh.” Was the only thing that he said. He never believed you would be into something like that, not from all the feminist rants you tend to go on.

“Oh god. You think I’m a weirdo, don’t you?” You put your hands over your face to hide it from him.

“No no, hey, don’t be like that,” he cooed, pulling your hands away so he could look at your pretty face, “I can be your... big, strong Captain. And you can be my damsel in distress.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah. So... how would it work? Do I save you from a burning building or something?”

“No, sweetie. You’re thinking of a fireman.”

“Oh, right,” he blushed, scratching the back of his neck, “We can do the fireman thing if you like. I can... be a fireman.”

“Steve, we don’t have to do anything.”

“I know. But I want to. Come on! Give me something to work with.”

“Okay,” you cleared your throat. “How about... you keep the suit on?”

“On for how long?” he tilted his head like a cute confused puppy, looking down at his suit, “Oh! You mean on while we’re...”

“Yes. And I could, I don’t know, thank you for serving my country.”

“Yeah. I mean medals and all are nice, but I want a special kind of thanks from you, doll.”

“Ooo,” you felt up his biceps through his coat and shirt, he really was strong. “Do you have anything specific in mind?” you asked, batting your lashes.

“Um... yes.... You get on your knees, miss... I mean ma’am, shit,” he cursed as he awkwardly stumbled over his words. “What do I call you? Are you my wife in this scenario?”

“You can just call me doll, captain. I’ll be whatever you want me to be,” you smiled, cheekily pressing your lips to his in a quick peck but he held onto your waist before you could pull away. Sliping his tongue inside your mouth.

“Alright then, doll. Show me how grateful you are,” he puffed his chest out, so he could appear a bit more dominant.

You only giggled, taking your dress off because there was no way you could kneel in so much tulle.

Standing before him in just a strapless bra and a nude thong, you were vulnerable, but not scared anymore. He was your captain, he’d never ridicule you.

“I’m already feeling appreciated,” he said as he ogled you.

You dropped down to your knees, unbuckling him with some help from him, “It’s so big,” you gasped when you looked at his length, pretending to be seeing it for the first time. Although, you were still always surprised with the sheer monstrosity of it.

“We’ll make it fit, doll. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that,” he smiled, tapping on your mouth, “Open,” he commanded.

You’re a natural, captain. You took a deep breath before opening wide. You’d been having sex regularly for the past three months or so, he had gone down on you more times than you could count, you felt as if he could live between your legs if he could. But he had never once asked you to return the favor, you didn’t have it in you to be the first one to bring it up either.

Licking your lips, you tasted someone of the preejaculate leaking out of his tip before wrapping your mouth around his head, moaning at the salty taste and the essence of him.

“That’s... ugh,” he groaned, “That’s good. Keep going,” he spurred you on, a hand on the back of your head giving you the slightest bit of push.

You took as much of him as you could, stopping halfway through when he hit the back of your throat, you pumped the rest of his length with your palm, holding onto his thick thigh for support, you bobbed your head, increasing your pace when he started moaning loudly.

Rubbing your thighs together to relive some pressure, your throbbing core desperate for some attention and friction, you knew your panties were ruined.

You had read your fair share of cosmos, and the many sex tips they offered, you knew they’d come in handy someday. You swore you remembered reading something about balls... to suck them? Bite them?

You fondled his balls, feeling him tightening in your palm, you were ready to swallow all of you. That was the only proper way of saying thank you.

“Wait,” he growled, pulling you off of him.

You looked up at him, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, doll,” he heaved, “But I gotta come in your pussy.”

Your jaw dropped, to hear the golden boy using such filthy language. “Whatever you say, captain,” you rasped.

Gasping when he yanked you up, pulling you over his shoulder and carrying you to the bed before throwing you down on the mattress.

Although Steve had always been dominant in bed, it was somewhat lowkey and subtle, he was never rough with you, he treated you as if you were made of glass, right now he was treating you as if you were literally a ragdoll.

“Take off your panties,” he ordered you.

You followed quickly, desperate to have him inside you asap, rolling your thing down your thighs and then getting rid of your bra before he even had to ask. You looked at him through your lashes, waiting patiently for his next command.

He hesitated for a moment before saying, “Now touch yourself.” It had always been a wet dream of his to watch you, instruct you as you got yourself off. Since your intention was to please him... he might as well make most of it.

You blinked at him before nodding, “Yes, captain.”

Fondling your breast you pinched your nipple, pulling on it before hissing exaggeratedly, smirking when you saw his hand twitch to touch you.

“What do I do?” you looked up at him with big doe eyes.

He shook his head, circling a hand around your wrist he shoved two of your fingers inside your mouth, “Suck,” he told you. “You like having your mouth stuffed, don’t you?” he asked as you noisily suckled on his fingers.

You shamelessly nodded, hoping that you’d get more opportunities to suck his cock from now on, he pulled your fingers out, bringing them down between your legs, pushing them into your willing channel. His own thumb rubbing on your clit working you up even moreso.

You threw your head back as you felt your climax approaching. “So close... captain.”

But he pulled your hand away from your pussy, tutting at your disobedience, “I didn’t tell you you could come.” He shook your head, giving you a minute to catch your breath before pushing two of his, much larger fingers inside you, “Gotta get you ready, doll. Since you’re so small.”

“Oh! It’s too much...” you moaned, holding onto the bedding.

“How're you gonna take my dick then, doll,” you watched as he licked your slick off of his fingers, “You taste like heaven, honey.”

“Thank you, captain.”

He unbuttoned his coat, he would be much freer without it and fuck you properly like you deserved.

You rolled your eyes when he folded his coat setting down on the floor, when you were literally lying naked before him with your legs spread wide, waiting as his tie and pants followed, “Really?” you scoffed.

“Can’t have them getting dirty, doll.” He knelt on the bed, now only in his shirt, spreading your legs a bit further so he could make room for himself, nudging your intimate lips apart with his length before slowing sinking into you.

He stayed like that for a bit, inside your heat, it felt as if he would explode then and there but he had to savor the moment. To have such a pretty girl wrapped around him.

Hovering over you he placed his elbows on sides of your head so he wouldn’t put too much of his weight on you, and so he could look at your as he fucked you.

He moved his hips against yours, rocking slow and steady, “You like that, doll?”

“Yes,” you nodded as he pulled on your hair to bare your neck to him. Biting your neck to mark you as his, “Do it harder, please, captain.”

“Harder?” he spoke against your neck, pinning both your hands above your head as he started rigorously pounding into you. “That hard enough?”

You were too fucked out to give a coherent answer, or to do anything but nod pathetically and take whatever he gave you.

“Ima come...” you clenched around him as your orgasm washed over you, rendering you immobile and weightless.

He thrusted into you a couple of times before filling you up to the brim - just as he had promised.

“Thank you, doll. That was really nice,” he smiled, laying beside you and pulling you closer to him, he kissed your forehead.

“Thank you, captain. You sure know how to treat a lady right...”

“Maybe we can do this more often,” he suggested as you nodded in reply.

Tags will be in the reblog! Click the link in the bio to be join the taglist or shoot me an ask/dm.

Shout out to my friend lizzygal (you can find her on ao3) who gave me the idea of Steve folding his uniform. It was too hilarious to leave out! Thanks for reading.

Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!

[youbloodymadgenius]

Ivarello (Modern!Ivar x reader) Chapter 1

Moodboard by @quantumlocked310

Ivarello’s masterpost here

A/N: This is my entry for @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie 500 Followers Fairy Tale Challenge. It's a retelling of Cinderella. Congrats again, darling 💖

A huge thank you to @mrsalwayswrite, who's a great beta reader and an even greater cheerleader 😂

A massive thank you to @quantumlocked310, @vikingstrash and @serasvictoria. Thank you for agreeing to collaborate and for sharing your talent with me. Your moodboards are beyond amazing 🤩

In this story, Sigurd is alive. Ragnar and Aslaug are dead, but Lagertha didn't kill her. I took a lot of liberties with the show, I hope you won't mind.

Unlike the tale, there will be no magic involved. Not everything will be realistic, however. It's a fayritale, after all!

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Summary: Orphaned five years ago, Ivar and his brothers have been living with Lagertha ever since. Now 16 years old, he wants to attend Harald's traditional Midsummer party, but obstacles stand in his way.

Warnings: description of car crash; orphaned kids; Sigurd being Sigurd; OOC characters.

Words: 1806

Additional note: I'm afraid I'll disappoint some of you. No more newspapers... The articles defined the setting of the story. From now on, it'll be a regular fic.

Hope you enjoy it nevertheless 🙂

🛡⚔️🛡

June 2021

Ivar yawns, rubbing his eyes, when he suddenly hears the front door open. The next moment, Ubbe shouts, "Hey baby bro, we're home!"

Slightly confused, Ivar looks at the time on his computer. Stunned, he blinks repeatedly, shakes his head and checks the time again, now looking at his watch. "Guess I lost track of time," he mumbles as he realizes it's really 5:30 pm. He clears his throat. "I'm coming!"

Yawning once more, he wheels to the kitchen. Hvitserk waves at him with one hand as Ubbe greets him with a grin and Sigurd... Well, Sigurd ignores him, as usual.

"Hello boys!" Lagertha smiles as she also enters the kitchen. "Did you go to the beach this afternoon?" It's a rethorical question, since sand can be seen on the tanned skin of his brothers, shirtless and wearing only swimming shorts.

When she looks down at him, her smile becomes softer. "Ivar, you seem tired. Did you work all day long?"

He nods, glad that for once she called him by his first name and not by one of those stupid nicknames that she likes but that make his skin crawl.

"Yep," he shrugs without smiling back, "I made good progress. The new version of your website is almost done. It could probably be online by the end of the week."

His stepmom flashes him a beaming smile. "Great, thanks!"

The conversation then moves on to the subject that everyone in Kattegat has been talking about for the last few days: the midsummer party thrown by their neighbor Harald Hårfager. Every June, it is Kattegat's not-to-be-missed event, to which every resident hopes to be invited.

Lagertha is invited every year, yet rarely attends; his brothers wouldn't miss it, not in a million years; Ivar never went.

He listens with half an ear as his brothers prattle on about the upcoming party, while taking a seat at the large, wooden kitchen table on which Lagertha has just put cakes and drinks.

"What are you going to wear?"

"Do you think Marit will attend this year?"

"Hopefully the music will be better than last year."

"Can't be as bad! What was the name of that reggae band?"

For a fleeting moment, Ivar entertains the thought of attending as well. Not that he's dying to, but… Sometimes, he feels a little bit like Cinderella in this house.

Don't get him wrong, it's not that bad.

First, his stepmom is not–

Wait, wait, wait, is Lagertha technically his stepmom? He's not sure. After all, she wasn't when his parents were alive, she was just his father's first wife. Anyway, she may be his guardian now, but he sees her as his stepmom and he honestly doesn’t give a shit if it's a little weird.

Where was he? Oh yes, Cinderella.

So obviously, Lagertha is not a wicked, haughty and abusive stepmom like this Lady Tremaine of the fairytale.

Actually, even if it pisses him off to admit it, she's pretty nice, patient and composed. Does he love her? Let's not exaggerate – he doesn't. She may love him though, which is a little bit uncanny, if he's being honest. He was the favorite son of her nemesis. Shouldn't she hate him? He would, if the situation was reversed.

The truth is, when he was younger, he tried, he really tried to hate her, blaming her for everything and anything. When too much pain prevented him from sleeping, he let his imagination run wild. There, bound to his bed of suffering, he could see Lagertha cutting the brakes on his mother's car, causing her crash, causing her death.

Of course, even then, he knew deep down that Lagertha had not killed his mother; that the story he told himself was just the product of his endless nights of insomnia. But what can he say? He needed this. Because blaming Lagertha rather than admitting that his beloved mother was at fault – by being distracted, or by falling asleep, he'll never know – was easier for the heartbroken boy he was.

Anyway... So yes, Lagertha is definitely not an evil stepmother like Cinderella's.

Also, he doesn't sleep on a sorry garret, on a wretched straw bed either.

Actually, he has a very large room on the main floor, with a king-size memory foam bed, a walk-in – well, a wheel-in for his case – closet and his own, huge bathroom, fully equipped for his special needs.

Sure, the bathroom and the dressing room were already there when his parents were alive; however, the memory foam mattress had been Lagertha's idea.

Anyway... So yes, he can't exactly complain about his sleeping conditions, unlike Cinderella.

And obviously, he's not forced into servitude.

Actually, one might think so, but no, he's not. Sure, sometimes he works for his stepmom, like today. But so do his brothers. When she had taken them in, she was a powerful businesswoman, working twelve to fourteen hours a day. Once she had become their guardian, she had rearranged her working time and learned to delegate; but even so, she had often run out of time. Therefore, it had seemed normal to them – yes, even to him – to help her out, each of them according to their skills and abilities.

So, while Hvitserk almost always does the grocery shopping, while Sigurd vacuums and does the laundry, while Ubbe mows the lawn and trim the bushes, he, Ivar, runs her company's website and sometimes even does the accounting. And since he loves computers and numbers, it's not exactly a problem.

Anyway... So yes, he's not a slave in this house. Unlike Cinderella.

So, yes, to sum it up, he can't really complain and he's by far not Cinderella. And he knows it.

But... Yes, there's a but...

Sometimes, he feels trapped, as poor Cinderella must have felt.

Sometimes he feels like a spectator of a life he doesn't belong to.

Sure, he doesn't have to be homeschooled – but gods, he's glad he is. The reasons for him to be continuously bullied by classmates are endless. The simplest ones being: he is a cripple, an orphan, the son of a dead mob boss, the smartest one in the whole damn school, let alone his class. Take your pick. It's no fun, no fun at all. Being home alone is preferable to that alternative.

Therefore, barely leaving the house except for medical appointments, he has no friends. He doesn't do sports either – obviously – and yeah, he lives a lonely life, filled with video games and Netflix series. And he's okay with that. Well, most of the time.

Sure, his brothers, or at least Ubbe and Hvitserk, always try to include him as much as possible. But the truth is that because of his legs, there are many, many things he just can't do.

And the other truth, the less pleasant one, is that he partially did that to himself. He cut himself off from a world that hurt him, yet he still misses this world sometimes. At times, he blames himself. Because his life, honestly, is hardly what you would call a life, is it? Not when you're sixteen.

That's why sometimes, like now, he feels this longing, almost a need, to live. To really, truly, fully live. And that's why, for a brief moment, lulled by the light chitchat of his brothers, he considers attending Harald's midsummer party.

But he knows better. This life is not for him, never has been, never will be.

And so, shaking his head, he chases the thought away and, placing his hands on his push rims, he's about to leave the kitchen while the incessant babbling of his brothers goes on.

"I can't wait."

"Don't tell me! As every year, the most beautiful girls of Kattegat will be there."

"Remember that burger food truck? Best burgers ever!"

"I've heard Y/N would be attending this year."

"There'll be booze and girls! Sounds like Valh–"

Wait. His mind goes blank.

Fuck.

What? Did he hear right?

As he replays his brother's words in his head, it's like there's an earthquake happening inside of him.

Fuck.

He stops breathing. Blinks, then clamps his eyes shut.

Fuck.

When he finally manages to draw air into his lungs, he swallows loudly before asking in a weird, high-pitched voice, his heart pounding in his chest, "What– What did you say, brother?"

Hvitserk turns his head toward him and shrugs. "I just said there'll be boo–"

"No, not you!" Ivar snaps at his brother, pointing his pointer finger at Ubbe. "You, what did you fucking say?" Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Lagertha frowning – 'no curse words in this house, boys'– and even if he barely contains an eye roll, he still mouths a quick 'sorry' at her before rewording his question, impatience coursing through him. "What did you say, dear brother? Who did you say would attend?"

Stunned, Ubbe looks at him with wide eyes. "Y/N? I said Y/N would come. That's what I heard anyway. She's Harald's niece. She was here once, right? Remember her, baby bro, huh?"

But Ivar is no longer listening, the blood draining from his face. Y/N... Y/N... Fuck. Finally. Fucking finally. After so long... He may see you again. Wow.

I'll go! I'll fucking go!

He barely contains the words, suddenly acutely aware of the deafening silence in the room, his brothers shamelessly staring at him.

With her brows furrowed and her lips turned downward in a slight frown, Lagertha takes two steps forwards before crouching down in front of him. "Are you all right, sweetie? You're a little pale."

He barely hears when Sigurd giggles, "A little pale? He's greener than an alien!"

Lagertha shoots Sigurd a dirty look and then gently cups Ivar's cheek. "Do you know her, Ivar? Do you know Y/N?"

Overwhelmed, self-conscious, freaked out, caught off-guard, he doesn't know how to respond. Should he tell the truth? Should he lie? His brothers will mock him, for sure. What is the point of telling the truth? What good would it do? On the other hand, he could really use some advice. Yeah. Sure. Advice from Sigurd. Just the thought of it is enough to make him sick. Fuck, what is he going to do?

Rushed words are out of his mouth before he can even gather his thoughts. "No. No. I don't. I mean, yes, I think I do but–" He's being pathetic and he hates it. So after a sharp intake of breath, he shakes his head and eventually replies in a flat, calm voice, the white lie rolling off his tongue. "I know her, but I thought Ubbe was talking about someone else. Sorry."

With these words, he hastily leaves the room, his eyes riveted on his knees, his heart still drumming in his chest.

Y/N. Fuck.

🛡⚔️🛡

Ivar's taglist: @waiting4inspiration @honestsycrets @lisinfleur @saldelys @gearhead66 @inforapound @readsalot73 @milkkygirls @xbellaxcarolinax @shannygoatgruff @zuxiezendler @hecohansen31 @lonewolf471 @fuckindiva @tgrrose @didiintheblog @peachyboneless @pieces-by-me @funmadnessandbadassvikings @ethereallysimple @destynelseclipsa @cocovikings23 @xceafh @mrsalwayswrite @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @pomegranates-and-blood @jadelynlace @grimeundglow @quantumlocked310 @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom

Ivarello's taglist: @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @hashimily @prepare4trouble @supernaturalvikingwhore @funmadnessandbadassvikings

[bts-reveries]

expect the unexpected | 21

(text after the pictures!)

-

“Get ready for bed,” Jin says, pushing Soojin on the forehead with his pointer finger. He was sitting on the couch, leaning back as he finally relaxed. You know, now that you’re home and all. 

“But it’s earlyyyy,” Soojin says, leaning on the couch. “I want to watch with you.” She jumps onto the couch, cuddling into Jin’s side. 

“No, no,” Jin says, pushing her away. “It’s time for you to go to bed. Daddy has some work to do after you sleep.”

“But you’re watching TV,” Soojin says, pointing to the screen in front of them. Avengers: End Game was playing. Jin sighs, getting up and picking her up from the couch. 

“Bedtime~” Jin says, walking to her room. 

“You used to let me stay with you to watch,” she pouts. “Now all you say is no.” Jin sighs yet again. I guess this is what he gets for always giving her what she wants huh?

“I know, but daddy has stuff to do tonight. We can watch tomorrow okay?” he says. “Look, mommy’s reading Haneul and Minseok a story.” He says as he was about to pass Haneul’s room.

“Hi,” you say, smiling up at your husband and daughter. “Wanna join us?”

“Why are we sleeping early tonight,” Soojin says with a big frown. “It’s Saturday!” 

“Because it’s been a long week for all of us,” you say. “Now come sit here and join us for a bedtime story.” Jin drops Soojin on the bed next to Haneul, making them bounce. 

“I want a story with the wolves.” Soojin says, she taps on her chin, “I forgot the name.”

“Mommy is talking about Cinderella,” Minseok tells her. “Haneul picked tonight.”

“Isn’t there a wolf in Cinderella?” Jin says, sitting down behind his kids. 

“No,” you and Minseok say at the same time. 

“I’m sure there is,” he says, winking at you. Just go along with it. 

“No a different one,” Soojin whines, turning to Jin then to you.

“Twilight?” Jin asks. You give Jin a look. “They haven’t heard of that one yet huh?” 

“No and--”

“Well this girl went to a new school and falls in love with a vampire, but she finds out one of her friend is a wolf--” 

“How does she not know he’s a wolf,” Minseok asks, interrupting his dad.

“He looks like a normal person, but he turns into a wolf.”

“Oh,” Minseok says, very intrigued with the story. Soojin seemed to be interested too. Haneul was listening, his eyebrows furrowed and mouth hanging open.

“Okay anyways, the girl’s name is Bella and she falls in love with Edward, who is a vampire. She doesn’t know this until later on and she was even begging him to make her a vampire because she was so in lo--”

“Jin we should change the story,” you interrupt. “The wolf fairytale you were asking about was Little Red Ridinghood right? Or Three Little Pigs?” You ask, looking at Soojin.

“I want to keep listening to daddy’s story,” she says, turning to Jin. You glare at your husband.

“Change it,” you mouth at him. Twilight wasn’t age appropriate for them. 

“Okay well,” Jin says, catching what you were getting at. “Bella and Edward dated all throughout High School like mommy and daddy and then they fought bad guys together with super powers. At the end, they have a baby and live together forever and ever. Because they’re vampires and they don’t die, you know?” Technically he didn’t lie, he just skipped the parts where Jacob (the wolf friend) hates Edward and is in love with Bella and tries to keep them apart, and also like Bella dying because of the baby that was killing her from the inside out. Edward having to bite her everywhere in an attempt to save her. And Jacob falling in love with the baby? “Also vampires glow in the sun like they’re bedazzled with white rhinestones,” Jin adds. 

“I want to be sparkly like that,” Soojin giggles. 

“Maybe next time,” Jin says. He ruffled her hair, making her laugh. 

“Okay, I think it’s time for bed right?” you say, bringing the attention back to bed. 

“I want to finish Cinderella,” Haneul tells you. “You didn’t finish..” It was true, Soojin did kind of interrupt you in the middle of your story.

“Okay where were we?” 

“Cinderella met the prince,” Minseok says. 

“Oh yeah! So Cinderella and the prince, Prince Charming--”

“They danced together all night and then Cinderella was like ‘Oops, bedtime. I have to get ready for bed’,” Jin says. He even did Cinderella’s voice. “And the prince said ‘Okay! Good night, I’ll text you in the morning’ but then when Cinderella ran off, the prince realized he didn’t give her his phone number so he said ‘WAIT!’ but it was too late. Cinderella got home and she decided to eat an apple before bed and she ended up feeling sick. This is why uncle JK always says, ‘night apple is poison apple.’ This made her fall asleep for days. Until one day, the prince found a tower in the middle of the woods and so he rode his magic carpet up that tower. He walked inside and found Cinderella. The prince thought she looked so pretty that he placed a kiss on her lips and she woke up and they lived happily ever after, the end.”

You stared at Jin with furrowed brows, and so did Minseok and Haneul. Soojin scratched her head. You’ve told them the story before and they also have watched the movie. They knew how it went.

“Did you just mix up Cinderella with Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Aladdin, and Rapunzel?” 

“It’s a story to teach kids that you should already be at home way before bed time and also eating apples late at night is bad for your stomach,” Jin argued.

“Sure,” Soojin says, a yawn escaping her mouth a little afterwards. 

“Aha! You are sleepy!” Jin laughs, pointing at his daughter. She glares up at him. “Come on, bed time,” Jin says, picking her up. “Say night night to mommy and your brothers.” He carries her in front of Haneul to give him a kiss, and Minseok too. Then towards you.

“Good night my princess,” you say, giving her a kiss. 

-

“I’m just going to take a quick shower,” you say. 

Now that all the kids were tucked in bed, Jin was going to do some paperwork in his office.

“I’ll be in my office,” Jin says, grabbing his laptop from his bed as you were going into the bathroom. 

“Okay, don’t stay up too late. I miss sleeping in bed with you,” you say. Jin laughs.

“We did that last night?”

“With Haneul in between us,” you scoff. 

“Well okay, I won’t stay in too long.”

“Okay, good.” You went ahead and went into the bathroom, ready to take a shower. 

Jin went ahead and stepped out of the room, about to head to his office when your phone rang from the living room. 

His eyes widened at the loud ring, afraid it was going to wake up the kids. 

He immediately ran to the couch, searching for your phone and he found it right under Haneul’s blanket. 

Dr. Cha Eun-Seok

It was your doctor, Jin and you have had the same doctor since Minseok was born. Safe to say he’s basically a family friend now.

Jin answers the call.

“Hello Mrs. Kim, I know it’s late, but I’m just calling again for your second appointment next Friday,” he says. Jin furrows his brows, tilting his head to the side. 

“This is Jin actually--”

“Oh! Jin-ssi,” Dr. Cha laughs. “I thought I called your wife--”

“You did, she’s in the shower right now and her phone was ringing so I went to answer it. Uh, what were you calling about? Second appointment for what?”

“Ah I see. I’m just calling about her second appointment. We were talking about it when she came by yesterday morning. We thought it would be a good idea to bring all the kids to the ultrasound. You know how it works,” he laughs. “She’s about one month along right now, we can have her first ultrasound next Friday and try to hear the heartbeat of the baby. I’m sure Haneul will be amazed eh?”

Jin was confused. 

You’re pregnant? 

“Yeah,” Jin says, trying to laugh along. “I’m sure he will. I’ll remind her, thank you Dr. Cha.”

“Yeah yeah, no worries. I’ll see you then.”

“Okay,” Jin says, hanging up the phone. 

Jin looks down at your phone, looking at your wallpaper. A picture of you two and the kids. He doesn’t move from where he’s standing.

“Hey,” you say, walking down the hallway as you were about to look for your phone that you left in the living room. “You’re not in your office?” You say, seeing Jin standing there. His back was facing you. 

“You got a phone call,” he says lowly, turning around and handing you your phone.

“From who?” You say, smiling up at him. You were confused. His eyebrows were furrowed and he had a serious expression on his face.

“Dr. Cha.”

Your eyes widened slightly.

“D-did you answer it?” You say, not seeing any missed calls on your lock screen.

“Yeah and he said something funny,” Jin says, forcing out a laugh.

“Like what…?” You look up at him with worry in your eyes.

“You're pregnant?” He says, leaning down to your face. “And you didn’t tell me?”

“I was going to, I--”

“How long did you know?”

“Not too long, I just found out a few days ago.” Jin scoffs, looking away from you.

“Jin, I was going to tell you.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“You were complaining about the kids all week, and saying let’s just stick to three kids,” you say, mocking his voice. “Jin you said maybe to a GOLDFISH. What would you say if I said we were having another kid?”

“BECAUSE IT’S NOT IN THE PLAN YN. We always said THREE. And you know how hard it is with just them three?” Jin says, moving his arm to the side and motioning towards the kids room. “What the hell happened?” He yells. 

“Aren’t you the one who said “no matter how hard you plan, the future is uncertain”?” You say. Jin has given advice to his friends countless times before, and you remember most of them. This one being his advice to Bora when she was confused with Taehyung and her ex. “Well we always planned for a big family, three was ideal. But what if four is what completes our family?” You yell back at him.

Jin laughs, crossing his arms across his chest, looking away from your face. You were so close to crying. 

“It’s too soon, Haneul’s only three. How did this even happen?”

“And Minseok was two when we had Soojin. And Soojin was around two with Haneul as well. What’s the difference?”

“The difference is, it’s not as easy as it once was Yn. How could you let this happen?”

You scoff. What does he mean by that?

“How could I let this happen? Jin what the heck did we do during our anniversary trip?! WHAT DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?”

“YOU’RE ON THE PILL! THEY’RE LIKE 99% EFFECTIVE!” He laughs. “What did you do? Forget to take it? Were you that stupid?” Your mouth drops open when he says that last bit. You let out an annoyed scoff. You can’t believe him.

“I guess I am,” you say. “The day we left, I ran out.” You shake your head. “I was supposed to buy more but so many things happened that day and I couldn’t remember the one thing I was supposed to do. So I guess, yeah. I am stupid.”

“How could you forget that? You take it everyday, wouldn’t you remember--”

“Oh like how you forgot to pick up the kids from school? Yeah, I know you don’t pick them up everyday but you had ONE job Jin. The first day I leave and the house falls apart--”

“EXACTLY. IT’S THREE KIDS AND ME. AND YOU’RE ADDING ONE MORE?”

“JIN YOU ACT LIKE THIS IS A ONE PERSON JOB?” Your eyes were already watering and a few tears have dropped. “I don’t care if you want this kid or not--”

“Oh my gosh,” He rolls his eyes at you. “I DIDN’T SAY--”

“Ah--” You gasp out, holding onto your stomach. Your face contorted in pain as you stumbled back. You felt a shoot of pain on your lower belly.

Jin’s face suddenly softens when he sees you in pain, all anger suddenly leaves his body. He reaches out to you to help but you move from his hand.

“I’m going to go to bed,” you mumble, walking to your room.

Jin stays there, standing in the living room, watching you go while holding onto your stomach. You slam the door behind you, locking it while you’re at it. You didn’t want Jin following you, you just wanted to be alone.

“D..daddy?”

Jin turns his head to the side to see Minseok standing by the kitchen counter. 

“Minseok what are you doing up?” He asks in a quiet voice, motioning for him to come to him. 

“You and mommy were being loud,” he says. “I woke up when you started screaming and I came out and you and mommy were just yelling at each other.” He walks up to his dad and Jin sits on the couch, pulling him close. 

“I’m sorry, do you want me to tuck you in again?” Jin asks, softly smiling up at Minseok and caressing his head.

“It’s okay, but why were you and mommy fighting? You never did that before,” he says, looking back at your closed door. 

“It’s between mommy and I,” Jin says, looking at your door as well. “It’s not the first time we fought. We just don’t do it often so you don’t see. Not everyone is perfect.”

“Not even you and mommy?” Minseok asks. Jin shakes his head. His eyes were getting watery as well. 

“Go to bed, daddy’s going to do some work in his office.” 

“Okay,” Minseok says, walking back to his room. He stops midway, turning to Jin. “Can you sleep with me tonight?” Minseok probably heard you lock the door, knowing Jin might be sleeping on the couch. Jin nods.

“Okay, I’ll go in after. Go ahead and go to bed.”

-

Jin grabs his laptop that was on the couch and heads to his office. He turns on the light, sighing. 

He didn’t plan the next few days that you were back to end up like this. Everything was supposed to be smooth sailing now that you’re back. But like what you said, like what he said before. No matter how hard you plan, the future is uncertain. And he ruined it all tonight. 

Jin walks to his desk placing his laptop on top. But something else was there.

A small canvas with a painting of two people. One was way bigger than the other. The bigger one was hugging the smaller one. And on top written in huge characters said,‘I love my daddy’. Signed by Haneul. 

This was when Jin lost it, a stream of tears slid down his cheek as he held tightly onto the canvas done by his youngest son. 

Everyone sees you and Jin as the perfect couple. Everything is easy with you two. You have the perfect kids, the perfect life, and the perfect relationship.

But what if I tell you that you don’t? For moments like this. Fighting over something that was supposed to be great. Something other’s dreamed they had. What if I told you that raising three kids is hard? Even for you and Jin. You two are the oldest out of all of your friends, you two are whom they go to for advice. For relationship advice, and for kid advice. You two were the “pros” according to them. Nothing you can’t handle.

But to you and Jin, you don’t see it that way. You two had your share of problems just like everyone else. There are things your friends don’t know about you two.

For Jin, he’s insecure about being a father. He has three kids right now, out of all his friends, he was the first to have a kid. Out of all his friends, he’s the only one with more than one kid. You’d think he’d know everything by now right?

Well he doesn’t and he’s still learning and from the past few days alone, he realizes he might not have what it takes, but he’s good enough he thinks. 

To everyone’s eyes he’s perfect, even to his kids. 

Long story short, he’s scared. 

But of what? 

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

expect the unexpected

♡ part twenty-one: the perfect couple ♡ 

pairings: ceo, dad!jin x interior designer, mom!reader

a/n: the way it was cute at first 😐 okay i hope this is angsty enough also LOL i mentioned that the doctor (who is the doctor in dodosolsollalasol) is a family friend bc doctors don’t call that late in the evening, or call? at all? idk i don’t go to the doctors unless im dying

EDIT: hi sorry, i don’t usually use the read more feature because idk it always messes up something and it took out a chunk of dialogue after the cut off haha😀 i edited it now tho so it should be good

EDIT PT2: OKAY THE READ MORE KEEPS CUTTING OFF THE NEXT DIALOGUE WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIX IT SO I JUST HAD TO TAKE IT OFF I APOLOGIZE

taglist: @silentlyimpractical @jillianmarie @waddlebby @cecedrake2217 @ddofa @samros95 @sope-and-shine @joonjoonsmiles @codeinebelle @aianloveseven @Chamchamcham @princessjazzyjazz @notvantaes @casspirit0705 @ramyagovindraj @brinnalaine @ephyra1230 @betysotelo18 @thoughtfultaledreamer @salty-for-suga @cosmicdaylight @dreamcatcherjiah @kookoo-kachoo @justinetingball  @josierosie @jayhope88 @butterflylion @hobiismyhopeu @momma-said-that-it-was-oke @ygbubs @catspancake  @somewhereofftheglobe @strawberryforever25 @rjsmochii @prdshobi @beeeb05 @eatjeanjin @taekookcaneatme @Cheeely14 @kookietsukkie @anpanman-sonyeondan @glitteringcoffeefreak @chocobetterknot @alpaca1612 @ohmy-fandoms @liljooniecutie @Jikachoo @preciouschimine @fan-ati--c @Joondala @httpmuffin @dammit-jjk @jikooksgirl19

TAGLIST IS CLOSED!

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[fictionandthingsbyafangirl]

Fairy Tale Retellings (Because I love them)

Warning: May contain spoilers for certain books and movies.

1. Hunted by Meagan Spooner

This book is a personal favourite for me (so please be nice to it).

Basic Summary

The book essentially retells the story of beauty and the beast, but with a twist. The basic plotline is that Yeva, the main character, due to reasons, moves to her father's old lodge with her family. Yeva's father then goes missing while tracking the beast and Yeva goes looking for him, only to get involved with the beast (with the intention of killing him).

Why I Like It

Well, one because I am a sucker for beauty and the beast stories and this one is just *chef's kiss*. I love how the Yeva (the "Beauty" of this story) isn't the Disney Belle most people are used to. Also, the little mythical aspects like the bird and the other creature which I do not remember but told her stuff..yeah. I can't list a lot of specifics because it's been a year since I read it and now I'm looking to buy it but I haven't found it at a bookshop just yet.

2. Beastly by Alex Flinn

Basic Summary

So, this one is about a boy, Kyle (Also Adrian) who's your average handsome, arrogant male lead. He decides to blow off a girl, who happens to be a witch and gets himself cursed and becomes the classic beast. Lindy, the "beauty," is the daughter of a guy who breaks into Kyle's house. The guy that broke in basically gives her up to Kyle and Lindy moves in. The story goes as the fairytale does and wraps itself up nicely.

Why I Like It

Yeah...it's not a favourite for me, but it's still good. One thing that I find really cool about this book is that it's a mix between your normal fairytale which is usually set in some old medieval period and a contemporary romance, this means that it's set in modern times will still go with the fairytale. Other than that, there's nothing really about this book that stands out to me.

3. Cinder by Marissa Meyer

Basic Summary

The story is about a cyborg named Cinder who is a mechanic and is set in a dystopian future. From now on I'm guessing because my memory sucks. The city she lives in is experiencing a plague and I'm pretty sure she, despite being in contact with someone affected by the plague, is unaffected and there is summoned to the palace, castle, somewhere to see why. There she meets the prince, hence the romance part. Also, there's this thing with people from space and how they (I think) have the cure to the plague. I am so sorry for this terrible summary but yeah.

Why I Like It

I really liked the whole dystopian future aspect that was added to the classic Cinderella story. Everything about it makes the book unique, which I appreciate because as much as I love the classic fairytale, I love it when the author adds a twist to the story to make it more their own.

3. Beast within the Beauty by Jenna R. Bloom

Basic Summary

This one is kind of similar to hunted. Ismae, the "beauty" of this story is out to kill the best, but not because of her father. In this story, each year, the beast asks for a wife (because the last one didn't survive). This year, Ismae volunteers to be the beast's wife and plans to kill him.

Why I Like It

This book is one of the first proper stories I started reading on Wattpad, so of course, I cannot forget it. Okay, but in all seriousness, one thing I really like about this one is this thing the author added. In the book, the beast makes a deal with Ismae, it being that he'll set her free if she guesses his age correctly. Also, another thing the author added which was great was the character named Yoann. LET ME TELL YOU HOW WORKED UP I GOT OVER HIM. So basically, there's this big plot twist and I was like Jin the entire time about it.

Anyone remember that ^^ That was me. It was so frustrating watching everyone exchange theories and then there's me like "He's *** *****" and guess what? I was right. It was a satisfying moment. Yeah. Overall, it was a great read.

4. Dark Disney by FloatyFlowers

*I'll be referring to "Y/n" as the main character (MC)

Basic Summary

So, in this story, the main character wakes up in a world where the storylines from Disney are real, but the female leads are now the male leads and in love with the MC, but it happens to be that they're all a Yandere.

Why I Like It

I really like it because, well it's dark and messed up. I love the twist on the usual "sunshine and rainbows" plotline Disney goes for. I also love how all over the place it is, because of the number of love interests and their messed up intentions. It hasn't finished yet, but I'm looking forward to the ending.

5. The Beauty and The Beast (French Version)

Basic Summary

So, in this story, it's the same plotline as the classic Beauty and the Beast. The MC moves to the woods after her family losses their fortune, she asks her father to bring a rose, he gets it from the Beast's castle and so on.

Why I Like It

I know it's technically not a re-telling, but for some reason, I LOVE it. I'm not sure if the film added these bits in, or they were a thing in the OG Beauty and the Beast, but some of my favourite things about the movie were a) the backstory. Okay, so apparently in this movie, the beast was married and loved hunting. There was this golden dear he really wanted to catch. Also, his wife didn't like that and told him to stop hunting the dear in exchange for trying for a child. So he was like, sure. Then one day, the dear was on castle grounds, and the beast couldn't resist so he shot it (bow and arrow) and guess what? Turns out the dear was actually his wife, so that's where the curse came from. b) the ending. I kinda loved how in the end, instead of moving into the castle, the MC and beast moved into a little cottage together with her father instead, so that was great. And finally, c) the side characters. In the movie, the MC has two sisters and I think 3 brothers. I really liked how they made them part of the story as well and made them actually relevant to the plot in many ways.

6. Ever After : A Cinderella Story

Basic Summary

So, in this movie, the MC, Danielle meets the prince pretending to be a noblewoman (Technically the first time she meets him she chucks apples at him but yeah) to rescue a servant her stepmother sold. She keeps bumping into him and they eventually fall in love. Things get complicated when the prince finds out she lied and the last few moments are spent sorting that out.

Why I Like It

So, Ever After is actually my favourite Cinderella story of all the ones I've seen. I love how the movie uses the original as a base and then proceeds to explore all the things it can do with it. For example, once the prince finds out she's not some noblewoman, he's hurt because he was lied to instead of accepting her anyway. (Also, the Di Vinci in the movie is the MVP for me). Also, how one of Danielle's stepsister realises that her family is being straight-up terrible to Danielle and her and instead of joining them, she calls them out. Or the fact that instead of the Prince falling in love with her when they first meet, we're shown them bonding and getting to know each other before the love. It's just great.

● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

That's it for now. Lemme know if you've watched/read any of these, and if you have, what did you think of them? Otherwise, feel free to take them as a recommendation if you're looking for something to watch or read.

Also, Merry Christmas (Eve), have a good day/night!

[yuzukult]

grapefruits & cranberries || kth & reader

title: grapefruits & cranberries pairing: kim taehyung & reader genre: royalty!au, prince!taehyung, guardsdaughter!reader, romance, unrequited love word count: 1,237

a/n: @ficscafe royal drabble event! :) hope you guys enjoy. (yes,.... i know the other tae fic is supposed to be called no blueberries)...... also thanks @jin-fizz and @masterninjacow for being my beta readers :)

She’s a glimpse of heaven.

Taehyung calls her a beauty, but without the beast. He wants to be the Prince Charming to her Cinderella; to be the man that could deliver her dreams on a silver platter with heartfelt eyes that were disguised with chocolate swirls as orbs to camouflage his veracious feelings.

But unfortunately, there’s an apparent line. 

She’s sixth in line to her kingdom, but if she were to be his, she'd be next on the throne as queen in his very own. He wonders what she smells like if he could stand up close, possibly a mixture of apricots and clementines, she’d be all things sweet, just like that saccharine laugh that escapes from her petal soft lips. 

However the moment he gains Rose’s attention, the girl who is just like her name, delicate and pretty, they build a relationship that he finds unexpecting. She confides in him about many things, such as her goals and aspirations, and her favorite forbidden indulgences. Taehyung realizes how much he has in common with this Angel, only falling more in love with each encounter. He often gazes at her longingly, lids heavy with desire to be hers, but one day when she finally trusts him, she confesses something she’s prohibited, something that Taehyung never anticipates. 

Rosé finds love in only women.

He guesses he has too much in common with her. 

Life doesn’t go as planned, and Taehyung is truly heartbroken by this revelation. Through his lenses, they’re not rose-colored anymore, rather faded to dull grey, fogging his vision with nothing but pure sadness. She’s the girl of his dreams, or so he claims, but she will never be his.

You don’t smell sweet.

On the contrary, a scent of bitterness lingers over your skin like a ghost who haunts his dreams. You’re that cloud of darkness, pouring rain that hovers over his head on a bad day. Thunder roars and the lightning cracks, how you snap with a fiery response when he says something ignorant, he’ll never quite understand what goes on through that thick skull of yours. 

“I’m needed at the castle. Your father said you’re more than capable of escorting me.”

Taehyung hates asking a woman to accompany him as a protector and not as a date. It’s strange when you dip your head slightly, obeying a request without reluctance: he’s used to your sharp tongue.

“May I ask what’s got you so down? You’re usually very… curt.” 

The brisk air blows through your dark locks, cascading in the direction of the wind like waterfalls that Taehyung had descried during his adventures into the depths of the forests. He doesn’t know when it starts but he’s drawn to your ways, although never conventional, he finds comfort in that.

“I’m fine, your royal highness,” you respond. And though it’s usually through your gritted teeth, in this occurrence, he’s met with lips that resemble cotton. “Just having a rough day is all. Is the Queen setting you up for a potential wife?”

“You’re familiar with mother’s tactics by now,” he says with a charming chuckle, smooth and thick as honey. It’s no wonder he’s enamored by many. “But she’s doing it because she wants the best for me.”

Abruptly halting in your steps, your boots kick the dirt and Taehyung nearly topples onto you from behind. The exhausted scuffs and discoloration of the leather validates the maturity of your shoes, in vast contrast to the squid ink authentic leather oxfords he sports that were purchased just yesterday morning. 

Taehyung’s brows furrowed. “I was being kind before. I demand an answer to what’s going through your mind.”

With a father appointed as Chief Security Officer of the Royal Guard, you’re not permitted to showcase any vulnerabilities, especially not in front of the prince. Fear was a luxury that a person of your position couldn’t afford. 

But being around Taehyung leaves you feeling on edge. 

It’s frightful yet safe in unison. Being with him is like standing on a tightrope, above thousands of feet off the ground, seconds from death. It’s similar to rainy days, cold and wet, but with the warmth of a blanket over your shoulders as you cosily find home at the end of the couch, warm cup of tea in your thawing hands. 

“I—” Your expression contorts into sourness, as if the response is pungent to your taste buds like the juices of lemons. It’s a command, what he asks, and it’s an obligation to truthfully answer. It’s a crime to dishonor direct orders from the Prince. “Does it bother you, your highness, that you will not be marrying for love?”

He tilts his head, fluffy chestnut locks brushing over his retinas. “I’ve been in love before, if that’s what you’re asking. Dear Rosé had informed me that I wasn’t… who she was looking for.”

You wave him off. “She’s into women. I understand that. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t someone on her route—she’d been interested in me.”

Taehyung’s jaw drops, unable to squeak a word out.

“I meant… doesn’t it feel like a burden to not be able to wed the one you love?” 

Scrunching up his nose, he’s unsure what you mean. How could someone like you, so valorous, blunt, and calloused, express fragility that you inhabit because Taehyung isn’t acquainted with this sight. “Well, not really.”

“Would you like me to help you plan an escape, your highness?”

His eyes widened. “Oh—what, no! No, I’m perfectly fine. What has gotten into you?”

When you turn your head, you take a moment to take in a sharp breath of the fresh air. The bustling of the branches and the leaves of the trees fill the silence between the two of you, and Taehyung is left befuddled. 

He’s still adjusting to the idea of a woman, although history itself has repeated the characteristics of strong females, possessing such courageous qualities. But you radiate it so effortlessly that he finds himself floating, infatuated with the way you stare ahead so sternly, focused only with the task at hand.

“Because maybe—” You start off combatively, almost like you’re bringing a gun to a sword fight before susurrating, “—maybe, I’m the one in love with you.” Sighing, those dainty fingers rake through the loosened strands. “And I guess… for a second, I thought you’d reciprocate those feelings, your highness.” 

In shock, Taehyung’s soles are practically sunken into the soil. He feels like a tree stump, roots weaving through the abyss of the Earth, hesitant of what to say next.

Perhaps that bitterness is actually bittersweet. The cloud of obscurity that previously stormed on his parade was mistaken for the warmth of the fireplace on those days, settled on a rug on the floor, simply nestling underneath the arms of a loved one with brewed tea and biscuits. There’s no apricots or clementines, maybe grapefruits and cranberries instead. You’re like a nostalgic memory, the kind that you’d love to relive on a loop, but the toughness of your personality is often confused with acrimony. 

There may be a sliver of a chance that he could mirror your love. But before he could respond, he is met with the view of your backside, with a hand resting on the hilt of your sword that remains sheathed in its scabbard. 

“We must leave, your highness. I promise not to bring up the topic in discussions anymore.”

[multiplefandomsblog]

Can i request how different idv characters would act as roommates? Eli, Helena, Luca, Edgar, Vera, Norton and Fiona if thats alright with you :DDD

warnings? kinda suggestive, crack fic, cussing

mod toby and mod bread helped me do this fic, its a bit all over the place but it was fun so no regrets

Eli Clark

I feel like being roommates with eli would be pretty pleasant

everything would be clean all the time

he’s the type of kid that everyone wants on their team because of how good he is at everything

so if you scored a roomie like him, you got super lucky

if you left a mess he wouldn’t get mad, he would probably just clean it up himself and leave a sticky note that said to clean up ur mess next time(but not like, passive aggressively)

ofc you would clean up after the cute sticky note, bc who can say no to this bb? 

If you don’t clean up tho, brooke rose will probably shit on your hair when u sleep

tbh you’ve always wondered what eli looked like without his eye mask

so one time when Eli was sleeping, you went next to his bed to try and take his eye mask off and see what he looks like.

You took off the mask and found out it was a dummy 

a few seconds later you heard footsteps and you turned around

Eli came up behind you and knocked you out with a bat

you two don’t speak of that day.

Brooke kept screeching last night, and you got no sleep at all, so I guess we’re having chicken for dinner 

Unless you had a good reason, then eli and brooke prob won’t mind cleaning up after u

I can imagine you going back to your shared room in the manor after a rough match and seeing eli just sweeping the room in an apron and a cloth covering his hair looking like cinderella

“Honey, I’m home!”

basically if you lived with eli, you basically had a husband/mom/wife???

If you came back to the manor, beaten up and bruised from the last match he would prob pester you and nag you

while cleaning up you wounds he would prob say, “You have to be more careful, im always worrying. You’re gonna give your mom a heart attack!”

seriously tho, don’t worry this bb, he would actually have a heart attack

Helena Adams

i think living with helena would probably feel like some sort of kdrama

she might be a bit clumsy and trip over a few things, falling into your arms bc of her blindness

though she might be doing it on purpose

If you moved things in the room without telling her, she would probably get mad

for example, you move the sofa chair a little bit to the right bc you thought it looked better

helena walks in the room, sits down on the sofa chair and ends up accidentally sitting on the sofa chair arm rest instead

resulting in her bottom hurting and a very long talk with you

she got her revenge weeks later

she had asked you to check under her bed for monsters because she couldn’t do it herself

you were teasing her for still being afraid of monsters but looked underneath anyways

low and behold, 

she put a mirror there.

will even wack you with her cane if you’re being annoying

Her cane is pretty affective in shutting you up lol only sometimes

“Hey Helena, are you braille? ‘cause i can read you like a book when i touch yo-” *wack* *moans*

helena: ...

you: ...

helena: ...im leaving

you: heleNA WAIT-

One time everyone at the manor was celebrating Helena’s birthday with a piñata, 2 seconds later she was beating the shit out of Luca with her cane

even after everyone’s been yelling that he wasn’t the piñata

One time you and Helena had a staring contest because you were both bored.

She won.

sometimes to get her close to you, you would sit on the sofa chair super quietly and still

And then you’d wait for her to come and sit on your lap thinking it was the chair

and it would work 

she would probably sit on your lap for a few minutes, confused as to why the chair felt elevated

and then she would feel your arms snake around her waist

and she would- “whAT THE FUCK- SCREEEEEEE”

she would probably make a cute bird noise and then just sit there, not knowing if she should leave or not

in her head, “THEIR LAP IS SO WARM OH MY GOD WHY DIDN’T THIS HAPPEN SOONER”

in real life, “let go of me you pathetic mortal”

you’d beg her to stay on ur lap longer and she would cave in

but she didn’t stay because she liked you! baka

Luca Balsa

living with luca will probably be the opposite of eli’s

messes, everywhere

inventions, everywhere

at one point though you had a sneaking suspicion he might be a bunch of rats.

 you saw him outside crouching beside you guys’ room with a bunch of rats coming out his sleeve and running into a crack in the building

“its for science!”

he’s also super scared of helena

Luca doesn’t like to admit it, but he got his purple eye from Helena after he made a bad pick-up line for the blind. 

She’s been chanting “one of us” and threatening to “finish the job” ever since.

he’s basically a big baby that needs to be taken care of

i feel like he might break down sometimes from not doing his invention right, or feeling insecure

but i guess his rats are there to help

but since he had a roomie, he wouldn’t be able to cry on his own

and its a good thing because he doesnt have to do everything by himself anymore

he learns to ask for help when living with you

you’d help him through his episodes and he would slowly start to become more reliant on you

if he was feeling a bit moody, he would unconsciously try to find you to cuddle with

if you lived with him, you’d probably have to be very responsible

luca would have his own bed that he would never sleep in because he wouldn’t be able to sleep without you in his arms

everytime he shifts in bed, you’d feel a tiny shock

it kinda bothered you so

you pranked Luca by touching him with those zappy ring things you’d get from a dollar store.

You just wanted that mother fucker to get a taste of his own medicine

he would basically be a puppy that follow you around, he would constantly old your head

probably refers to you as his

like if you downed a shot that barmaid made for you, he would be like, “EYYYY THATS MY BABy-heurghrhgh”

now you have a drunk baby that you have to take care of

You tried giving luca a shower afterwards, now you know how it feels getting electrocuted.

And trust me, Luca and water do not mix.

good luck have fun

Edgar Valden

living with edgar would consist of 

1. edgar being super specific of what was his and what you can’t touch

2. big tsundere baby

3. sketches of you hiding in his sketch book

if you lived with edgar, you’d have to be super patient with his nagging or else you’d have to find a new roomie

he’s constantly nagging you

but if you are tired of it and give him the silent treatment, he’d probably just nag you even more for attention

you need to give this man attention or else

you ignored him for a whole day once because he said something mean

he decided to give you some milk and cookies as an apology

the ‘milk’ was his muddy paint water and the cookies were expired

i feel like one day you two would be arguing about who moved his stuff, your argument being he unconsciously moved his stuff, his argument being you moved his stuff

you guys were so heated up you didn’t notice how close you two were getting

edgar ended up pouncing on you like a feral dog

though when you woke up, you both agreed that you ended up winning the argument

when you’re reading or just doing nothing, he’d ask to sketch you or paint you

i-its not because he thinks you’re beautiful or anything

its just because he thinks that your whole self is aesthetically pleasing and pleasing to the eye- but not because he thinks you’re pretty!

sometimes when he was super focused on his art, he wouldn’t notice your figure slowly approach him

you’d boop his nose and watch as he froze

wh- hoW DARE YOU LAY YOUR HANDS ON A VALDEN

secretly tho, he really loves it when you do that.

like

do it more

please or not whatever

Vera Nair

Vera would probably be a bit anxious when she heard she was gonna get a roomie

but she would do her best to be at her best behaviour

she’s very well mannered and is very polite

she’d kinda be the type to silently care for you

like, she’d notice the little things that bothered you and made sure they wouldn’t bother you ever again

like, if you stubbed your toe alot, she would give everything that you could stub your toe with, rubber covers or socks

but she wouldn’t tell you it was her even though it was obviously her

if you fell asleep on your desk instead of your bed, she would probably but a blanket on ur shoulders and a pillow underneath where you left your head

she’s the thoughtful type

before you went for matches, she’d give you a cheek kiss for good luck

and if you did the same, she would probably play it cool but then panic a second later.

theykissedmetheykissedmetheykissedme-

im sorry this is short idk what to do for her-

Norton Campbell

oh BOY

once norton starts to warm up to you, you guys are basically married

like there was no proposal, just “do you take this man to be your husband- you can’t say no”

he would probably take care of you alot

even when you didn’t need it

i can do it mysel- no

but actually, before he warmed up to you he was pretty cold, 

he felt himself growing feelings for you

and he didn’t want to because he was afraid he would lose you and he would have to go through the heartbreak of losing someone all over again

he would leave the room to go hang out somewhere else

he would keep his distance and not talk with you much

but there was this one time where you woke up with him around you, you just pretended you didn’t wake up and relished in the feeling

it took some time, but eventually he warmed up to you

though he still constantly worries about you, he doesn’t want you to get hurt

during matches he would always take hits for you, and just stay closer to you in general

he wanted to make sure you got back to the manor safely, it didn’t matter if he was sent back via rocket chair

he always put you as his #1 priority

he also gets jealous super easily, he’s scared someone will swoop you away from him

so to make sure everyone knows that you belong to him, he’d give you his clothes to wear

not only do his clothes look adorable on you, everyone will know that you’re his

probably pester you a lot if you tripped or got a paper cut

“yoU COULD HAVE DIED” “IT WAS A PAPER CUT”

Once, Norton got stuck to the fridge like a magnet for 5 hours

He’s been using that as an excuse to force you to bring him his snacks every since.

pick up lines are a definite yes

sometimes you’d be shitting and you’d hear outside the bathroom door a faint,

“My love for you is like Diarrhea.” “norton what the fuck im shitting-” “i just can’t hold it in” cue camera zooming in on his face and him smirking into the camera “OH MY GOD WHY”

like Luca, his bed is useless. he always needs you in his arms when sleeping, he wants to protect you and just feel you closer to him

puts him at ease

kisses? hell yes.

if you had to go to a match without him he would send you off with a ton of gross wet kisses on your face ew

He might even try to seduce you into staying

“norton I’m gonna lose morality points!” “fuck your morality points, i wanna smash”

Fiona Gilman

I feel like fiona would probably super psyched when she heard about sharing rooms with you

I headcanon her to be super bubbly and social but when she is alone with her thoughts she’d probably regret everything 

“why did i say that why did i say that why did i say that-”

probably prays to god, “please kill me”

she tries her best to make sure you’re comfortable

she doesnt make a big mess and she makes sure she cleans up after herself, overall a pretty cool roommate

except for those times for when she tries to babtize you while you’re showering-

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING” “THE LORD SHALL CLEANSE YOUR SOUL WITH HOLY WATER-” “what the f- iS THIS ALCOHOL???”

this has happened too many times^^^

one time she accidentally created an ultra portal in the toilet. 

Y’all still have no idea where it leads, and no intent of finding out. 

Although, Kreacher has been complaining of some nasty stuff appearing in his room

i feel like during matches she would always call you with her portals to say hi or just give you a small kiss

it stopped being cute when she went through the portal and ended up seeing the hunter instead of you

mentally scarred from that

sometimes things would disappear in your shared room too, not only the toilet

you’re convinced she has a bunch of hidden portals in the room

like, one time you dropped a pencil and it went through the ground.

you never saw it again

Or you know that missing sock?

Portaled.

i dont know what this turned into

[uppastthejelliclemoon]

Why do you consider the Into The Woods movie to be that bad? I remember watching it in cinemas with no experience with the musical and thinking it was..... mediocre, mostly.

so for me, it's a mix of a bunch of things

mainly, my mom loves Sondheim, so i grew up listening to a lot of his shows. My favorite was the OBC Into the Woods soundtrack, and i watched the stage show multiple times. when the movie was announced, i was SO excited, and so was the rest of my family!

we saw the movie and it was just... so disappointing.

The characterizations were just slightly off (specifically James Corden's Baker and Meryl Streep's Witch), and they literally cut some of the BEST moments from the stage show

"I Guess This is Goodbye" is one of the sweetest songs, and it gives Jack so much character, and they took it out 😭

which then leads to one of my BIGGEST gripes about the movie:

THEY CUT THE MYSTERIOUS MAN FROM THE MOVIE??

Yeah, I get they can't do the narrator in the movie, but the Mysterious Man is SUCH a massive role in the show???

He guides all the characters to each other???

He's literally the Baker's FATHER???

His song with the Baker is one of the most important character moments for the Baker???

The song where the Baker gets closure with his father and returns to the group???

When he acknowledges that his fears, while valid, shouldn't control him???

Where he actually gets to have a relationship with his father???

like they made his father a ghost in the movie and it was just a conversation. "No More" is one of my favorite Broadway songs, and it's so beautiful and heart-wrenching, and it was so upsetting when I realized they had cut it.

also, the cutting of "Ever After" and "So Happy" was a massive mistake:

it builds up all of the conflicts of Act 2, and leads to the characters then getting scolded by the Witch during "Last Midnight"

without those moments that show the characters regretting their wishes, it just makes the Witch look like she's roasting them for no reason and kind of gets rid of the entire message of the show

those songs show that things aren't going perfectly, there's little moments of discontent for everyone, and then it's revealed that there's Giant attacking, which is the reason everyone comes back together.

In general, I think the overall casting of the main group was off, James Corden was such a flat Baker, and i mean, it's hard not to compare Bernadette Peters and Meryl Streep to each other, Bernadette Peters' Witch was much more layered, in my opinion, and Anna Kendrick's Cinderella was a little lackluster.

For positives (because while the negatives REALLY outweigh the positives, there are some things i enjoyed):

Emily Blunt was the perfect Baker's Wife, I adored her performance, and her characterization during "Moments in the Woods" was one of the best!

Chris Pine was hilarious as Cinderella's Prince, just toeing the line between unlikeable asshole, and surprisingly caring and charming

(side note: "Agony" is my favorite number in the movie, just after "Moments in the Woods", and every time i watch it i die laughing)

Daniel Huttlestone was such a good Jack!! I love his Gavroche, so his Jack was a lot of fun, and he really captured Jack's devotion to his moment and his want for adventure!

Tracey Ullman was the funniest Jack's Mother, and i will admit i've got a bit of a bias towards her because I played Jack's Mother when I did "Into the Woods" my senior year!!

so yeah, that's my reasoning why i really, REALLY don't like the "Into the Woods" movie 😅 i totally get that there are people who loved it, and i love that!!! but it's really not for me lol

[vikingqueer]

music recommendations because i have some thoughts™

i don't wanna be that person who's like "my music taste is so weird lol" but i find that very often most of my friends don't really care for the music i like so i thought i'd just make a long ass post about it on tumblr instead. Fair warning, I'm very passionate about MIKA and The Mechanisms and so this very quickly got VERY long because it is part of my ongoing campaign to convince people to listen to mika and the mechs.

1) MIKA in general, but especially My Name Is Michael Holbrook (2019) and No Place In Heaven (2015) (especially the Deluxe version!!)

MIKA is a kind of British singer (half Lebanese, grew up in France blabla), and you probably know him for Grace Kelly and Relax, Take It Easy from his first album Life In Cartoon Motion from 2007. He writes a lot of FUN music, interspersed with the occasional slightly sadder song, especially when looking at an album like No Place In Heaven, which contains a lot of songs with gay themes, resulting in some songs that are just a little bit ouch. He's originally classically trained and has a frankly RIDICULOUS range and idk he just writes very good pop music. Also I have so much respect for that time he talked about how a lot of pop is very fake, with like expensive cars and stilettos and mini skirts in the snow and said "Because I walk down the street, and I don't see any of that. I see fat women and gay men. I don't know... That's real". He's written 5 albums; My Name Is Michael Holbrook (2019), No Place In Heaven (2015), The Origin Of Love (2012), The Boy Who Knew Too Much (2009), and Life In Cartoon Motion (2007).

For starters, I recommend listening to Last Party, Origin Of Love, Grace Kelly, Blame It On The Girls, Blue, Happy Ending, Pick Up Off The Floor, Last Party, Underwater, Tomorrow and Tiny Love (yes this is a long list but i REALLY love MIKA). If you want a slightly broader palette that's not just my favourites, I recommend the Mika starter pack on spotify.

2) The Mechanisms. I warn you. I am making this a thing. I have been obsessed with the mechs since last march.

Boy, where to start? The Mechanisms were a British 9 member space pirate story-telling cabaret that "died" in January 2020. They rewrite songs to fit retellings of various stories. I don't even know what genre I'd describe them as, but probably folk but steam-punk?? Their 4 "main" albums are concept albums, and I honestly just recommend listening to the from beginning to end in chronological order. A good way to get into the mechs is also to listen to UDAD and then watching the live show on youtube or alternately try giving Death To The Mechanisms a listen, to get good quality live show audio of TBI and various other stuff. Also, it was streamed on YouTube and someone combined the footage with the album audio and it rocks. Really, I think the mechs' best selling points are honestly just their concept albums:

Once Upon a Time (In Space) Their first album from 2012. I'd say this is the most "easily digestible" for the general public, since it's a retelling of various fairytales. So, what if Old King Cole was in fact not merry, but rather a cold-blooded dictator, intent on colonising as much of the galaxy as possible. What if Snow White was a general, looking to avenge what King Cole did to her sister, Rose. What if Cinderella was to be wedded to Rose the day that King Cole attacked in order to kidnap Rose? But y'know, In Space and also like every other mechs album it's a beautiful tragedy. Fave songs are Old King Cole, Pump Shanty, and No Happy Ending.

Ulysses Dies at Dawn You guessed it, it's a story about Odysseus, or Ulysses because I guess Ulysses is easier to rhyme or fit in the meter or something, idk. Ulysses is a war hero of unknown gender who is said to keep something that could take down the corrupt Olympians, meanest families in the City, in a vault to which only they know the passcode. Oedipus, Heracles, Orpheus, and Ariadne have been hired by Hades, who happens to be The Mechs' quartermaster Ashes O'Reilly, to get into Ulysses' vault. I didn't care much for udad at first, but honestly it's got some real bangers and the story is really good. UDAD weirdly stands out as the only of the concept albums to not feature any gay relationships, per se. Fave songs are Riddle of the Sphinx, Favoured Son, and Underworld Blues.

High Noon over Camelot This is my favourite mehcs album. So basically, this is Arthurian legend, but it's a space western and Jonny D'Ville does a bad southern accent. This is the story of the cowboy lovers Arther, Lancelot, and Guinevere searching for the Galfridian Restricted Acces Interface Login, or GRAIL, in order to stop their world from falling into the sun. Meanwhile, Mordred and Gawaine are ruling Camelot, and Mordred has convinced Gawaine to try to establish peace with the Saxons by whom Mordred was raised, but Gawaine hates viciously. If you love getting your heart broken and songs by a fucking off the rails batshit preacher I HIGHLY recommend hnoc. Fave songs are Gunfight at the Dolorous Guard, Blood and Whiskey, and Once and Future King. Honorary mention for Hellfire because it awakens something animalistic in me.

The Bifrost Incident TBI is the frankly only good adaptation of norse mythology I've ever known of, and I say that as Dane who was literally forced to learn things about norse mythology in school because it's my heritage or whatever. I've been listening to TBI a lot lately because it's VERY good. It's definitely the most refined of the mechs' albums (because it's the newest) but also I just love a little bit of cosmic horror. 80 years ago, Odin, the All-Mother, ruler of Asgaard, launched a train through the wormhole Bifrost that would reduce the travel between Asgaard and Midgaard from 3 months to 3 days, but things didn't go quite as planned. Lyfrassir Edda of the New Midgaard Transport Police is trying to solve the case of why suddenly the train has arrived 80 years late; to figure out whether it was accident or maybe it was sabotaged by Loki, who was allegedly sentence to death her murder of Baldur, by the Midgaardian resistance led by Loki's wife Sigyn, or maybe by Thor, who was to take over after Odin, and who holds quite the grudge because he used to be a friend of Loki's. You might've heard the song Thor from this album, it's apparently quite popular. Fave songs are Loki, Ragnarok III: Strange Meeting, and Ragnarok V: End of The Line. Yet again an honorary mention: Red Signal because while Lovecraft was a bitch, his invocations are fucking RAW.

Basically, the Mechanisms do all of their performances in character as captain first mate Jonny D'Ville, quartermaster Ashes O'Reilly, pilot DrumBot Brian, master-at-arms Gunpowder Tim, science officer Raphaella la Cognizi, doctor Baron Marius Von Raum (neither a baron, nor a doctor), archivist Ivy Alexandria, engineer Nastya Rasputina, and The Toy Soldier, who is, as usual, present. You can find very obscure lore about the crew of the Aurora here, tidbits on Tales To Be Told and TTBT Vol. 2, such as One Eyed Jacks, The Ignominious Demise of Dr. Pilchard, Gunpowder Tim vs. The Moon Kaiser, Lucky Sevens, and Lost in the Cosmos.

If you feel like listening to a full 40-50 minute album to find out if you like a band is a bit much, I recommend listening to one of the mini stories Alice, Swan Song, or Frankenstein, which are about 12, 5 and 9:30 minutes respectively.

3) The Amazing Devil You know that guy who played Jaskier in the Witcher? I got into The Amazing Devil from spotify recommending them because I listened to the mechs, and apparently Joey Batey from The Amazing Devil is the same Joey Batey who was in the Witcher. Both him and Madeleine Hyland are VERY talented singers and songwriters and their second album The Horror and the Wild makes me go out into the forest and SCREAM. I listened to it on repeat for like a month straight. I guess they'd also be considered folk, but like. New Folk. Also yes, this is another British artist, I don't know why I'm like this. I've never really gotten that into their first album, Love Run, but King slaps. As I understand there's this whole lore about the Blue Furious Boy and Scarlet Scarlet, Joey and Madeleine respectively, but unlike the Mechanisms it's actually possible to find out things about the actual real people and harder to find the obscure lore? I'm open for people to please help me. Fave songs are The Horror and the Wild, Farewell Wanderlust, and That Unwanted Animal, which is literally a third of their second album, but again. I haven't really listened to Love Run that much, and I just LOVE the harmonies on THATW. (also im gay and dramatic leave me alone)

4) dodie I have so much love for this woman. Like many others, I first knew dodie as doddleoddle on youtube. I think I first stumbled across her in probably 2015, because I distinctly already knew her before she released her first EP Sick of Losing Soulmates in 2016. I think I watched probably every video she's ever made in the span of a few weeks. I just loved her quiet sound and was absolutely HOOKED. Also she's actually the reason I got into MIKA originally, so thanks for that. Dodie just realeased her first album Build A Problem (in addition to her three EP's; the one mentioned above, You, and Human) and it slaps. Yes dodie is also British Fave songs are probably Monster, Rainbow, and In The Middle.

5) Cladia Boleyn Unfortunately, Claudia Boleyn only has three singles and that's it. She's been making content on youtube for quite a while, and that's how I first discovered her. I don't know what genre her music is, but I like it. The songs are Celesta, George, and Mother Maiden Crone, of which the latter is my favourite. I'm not saying Claudia Boleyn invented women in 2017 when she released Mother Maiden Crone, but she did. Also you guessed it, Claudia Boleyn is British.

6) Hozier I'm not about to tell you about Hozier. You know who he is. Listen to Nina Cried Power, Angel Of Small Death & The Codeine Scene, and Shrike. Also Hozier isn't stricly British in that he is definitely from A British Isle, but Ireland is not part of the UK. Give me a break.

7) Oh Land Oh Land IS DANISH. I like her early music best, because I'm not that into the electronic sound. I guess Oh Land is just you regular old pop, but with the occasional weird vibe? Oddly enough, I like her first album Fauna best. Unfortunately I haven't really listened to her newest album Family Tree much, but it seems good? Fave songs are Frostbite, Love You Better and Family Tree. I cried on the bus, first time I listened to the Danish version of Love You Better, Elsker Dig Mer because my mother tongue always just hits harder. Also Frostbite is Oh Land doing a duet with herself which is pretty cool.

8) Oysterband This is a live recommendation. I mean they're a decent folk band and all, but they're a fucking experience live. If you like folk and you ever get the opportunity to see Oysterband live, do it. Unfortunately, yes. They are British. Either way, they are incredible on a scene and I think they deserve a mention for that.

9) Ben Platt Honestly don't know much about this guy, but he's not British and he was in Dear Evan Hansen. He released an album in 2019, Sing To Me Instead, and I just think it's a good album, there isn't really not much more to it. Fave songs are Grow As We Go, Bad Habit, and In Case You Don't Live Forever.

and thats all for now. this has been a ramble. shout out to you if you actually read all of this, especially the mechs part.

[ashleyfanfic]

Ranking the Bridgerton Books

I've read all but one at least twice now, so I'm gonna give my ranking. 1. Romancing Mister Bridgerton - Colin and Penelope since the first time I saw them interact in the show, but their dynamic in the book I like just as much. You get snippets of them being around each other in the first books, but there is a pivotal scene in An Offer From A Gentleman that hurt me into my soul and I have never felt for someone as much as I felt for Penelope in that moment. And then in their book, you can see their friendship grow because as long as he's known her, it's taken him so long to see what everyone else already did. Penelope is amazing, even if she is hiding things from him. The scene in the carriage, but specifically their first time and Colin thinking that he wanted to make love to her in front of a mirror one day so she could see what he saw...lord. Also, Lady Danbury is phenomenal in this book. 2. This was really hard for me to decide which one I liked more, and the truth is, I actually read one of these books more than twice and that was The Viscount Who Loved Me. If you know anything about me, you know that I am a huge fan of Enemies to Lovers, and boy does this deliver on that. I love Kate. She's a whole lotta spitfire and just says things to Anthony that NO ONE else would say because she's adamant that her sister could do better. But then things shift and she sees him differently. The storm scene in the library cemented my love for Anthony Bridgerton. The "Oh Kate" KILLED ME. Dead. The Pall Mall game, which, I'm gonna be honest, if they don't give to us I will be FURIOUS! That shit was legit funny. But then there's the bee, the gazebo, Colin pissing off his brother. And the love story between Kate and Anthony and how these two idiots find love in one another is just *chef's kiss* 3. This was really hard because I loved this book so much. When He Was Wicked is the spiciest of all the books in my opinion. And it's because we start with Francesca being married. You don't see her wedding or courtship to her husband, John, in the other books, you just learn that she was married. And her relationship seems to be a good one. They love and care for each other. But that's not the story that's actually being told. We meet Michael Sterling (and if he's not played by Richard Madden I'll fucking burn the world down), a rogue, rake, an altogether scandalous man, and the cousin and close confidant of both John and Francesca. There's already a flirtation with Michael and Franny before John dies, but Michael would never act on it. Then he dies and both of their worlds are turned upside down. But it's when Michael returns from India and the two are being sought after by others that they're teetering on the edge of something. Michael knows his feelings but doesn't think he can betray his cousin like that, and Franny is just afraid of her feelings for Michael all together. But then there's their first kiss, and then Michael riding to fucking Scotland to seduce her into being his wife, which she doesn't agree to do right off. But the creme de la creme of this book, aside from Franny finally realizing her feelings, is the scene in the cabin when they get stuck in the rain. It's one of the women taking her sexual agency and fucking using it, and Michael is a more than willing participant. That scene was fucking hot. They also have a beautiful Epilogue if you want to read it.

4. To Sir Phillip With Love is a strange one for me. I love that Phillip and his weirdness appeals to Eloise, who I don't think would ever be content with an ordinary man. I could also see someone like Eloise being courted in such an unusual way as letters. What kind of puts me off about this is Phillip's treatment of his children. I get that he eventually catches a clue as to what's going on with them, but through most of the book, he doesn't even bother trying to be close to them. The best part of this book are 1) the brothers Bridgerton storming into their home and trying to pummel Phillip all while Eloise fights them for her man, and 2) the scene at My Cottage where Philip seduces Eloise.

5. While I think this book is the most unoriginal in terms of beginning and end, it's not a bad book throughout the middle. And I'm talking about An Offer From A Gentleman. This series actually shows that Step parents/Siblings aren't all bad, take a look at the Viscount and you get nothing but love between Mary, Kate, and Edwina. But this book goes with the wicked stepmother. Of course it does, it's ripping off Cinderella. The first chapter with the ball had me uninterested and it felt like a slog to get through, but once we get away from the Cinderella aspects and get to Sophie and Ben's actual story, I'm more into it. UNTIL Benedict decides that he's going to wear Sophie down about becoming his mistress. From book to show, Benedict is the most different in my opinion. I can't imagine that guy ever doing what book Ben does to Sophie. When he finally realizes who Sophie is, it's cathartic really. Because on the one had, she's known who he is the entire time, even knew he was looking for her, and said nothing about it. I do love Violet in this book. I love their scenes at My Cottage and I love the idea of a Colin Firth type scene for our Benedict, but the rest of it left me very underwhelmed.

6. It's In His Kiss was cute enough, but my problem with this one is that Hyacinth is in all of the other books as a pesky younger sister, a girl if you will. So, it's really difficult for me to wrap my head around her being a grown woman at this time. And it would take a special man to handle her. Gareth is that man. I love the scenes with Lady Danbury. She shines everywhere she goes, though. I don't know, I just didn't feel this one and I guess it's because seeing Hyacinth grown is weird to me.

7. The Duke and I. If you've seen the show you've read the book, I feel. This book had so much promise until THAT scene. Like, I get it, you're mad about being lied to, but the man was drunk and Daphne took advantage of that. It caused him to start stuttering again, it was so damaging. And she wasn't sorry. I guess that's my real gripe. She wasn't apologetic about what she did. This is the only book I read once.

8. On the Way to the Wedding felt like a lesser version of the Viscount. Gregory wanting Hermione, but having to go through Lucy to get to her... I read this story before and it was done much better. Not that I dislike Gregory or Lucy. I don't. I just don't find either of them as compelling as Anthony or Kate. I don't have a lot of thoughts about this one because once I hit the wedding I was like "I just want to be done with it already". Maybe it was burnout. I don't know. Perhaps if I start with this one instead of saving it for last I'll have a better opinion.

[anonymousbaev]

RFA+Minor Duo Dropping off their kid to kindergarten w/ Mc

Nobody asked...I just wanted to do it heheheh (Sorry for the late uploads, real life is pretty hectic. I hope this can make up for it, enjoy! ( •⌄• ू)✧ )

☆ Yoosung ☆

☆ It felt like yesterday to him when he’d excitedly jumped around the house when you’d announced that you were pregnant with his baby. But now, his daughter was already 6 and going to Kindergarten.

☆ In the morning you find Yoosung busy in the kitchen, you and his half awake daughter in your arms as you place her in her highchair. 

☆ You cringe a bit at the burning smell of eggs before walking over to Yoosung, wrapping your arms around him leisurely. “Honey, why are you so nervous?” 

☆ He’s totally caught off guard as his spatula proceeds to clank onto the floor, “Ah! Mc? Sorry did you say something? Huh, wait since when were you here?-” You chuckle a little before placing your hands against his cheeks.

☆ “Sweetie stop being so worried she’s going to be okay.” You point to your daughter as you and Yoosung watch your daughter dazed in her highchair without a care about the world. He smiles a little as he observes her trying to keep herself awake as she rubs her eyes with her small little hands. “I guess so.”

☆ After eating breakfast and getting your daughter ready, the ride to her school is rather quick. He carries the small girl to her class as you follow him.

☆ Her teacher begins greeting her as she assures the both of you that she’s in good hands. You hold his sweaty hand as you both watch your daughter excitedly explore her new classroom as she introduces herself to fellow peers.

☆ Later that day after picking your daughter up from her school day, her face is beaming with joy. All three of you get cuddled on the couch with Lisa as you watch your daughter’s favorite movie “Cinderella”

☆ When you and Yoosung share glances with a small smile before proceeding to ask about her first day of school, oh boy she’s been waiting for you to ask, she excitingly begins talking about her day. She also notes how she can’t wait for her next day. Hopefully Yoosung won’t be so nervous tomorrow... ʚ(*´꒳`*)ɞ

☕️ Jaehee ☕️

☕️ Baehee has everything perfectly planned, and when Baehee planned out something, it would always go accordingly. Even if it didn’t go the way she had planned it.

☕️ Yet you and your wife couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous. Your son was a bit shy, especially when it came to meeting new people. Jaehee woke you up before the sun had fully rised. Six in the morning, and there had been three hours until the school bus would come to pick your son up...

☕️ You begged her to let you sleep in for a few more hours, regardless, she’d ignored your pleading eyes. You lazily got up and began helping Jaehee get your son ready. 

☕️ “Wait no mc, I think this orange cardigan looks better on him.” Jaehee hurriedly took off the red sweater you had made him wear. But in your eyes, the red sweater definitely looked better, no doubt. “No! This red sweater compliments his beautiful golden eyes and brown hair well!”

☕️ Hours passed, just to choose what clothes your son would wear, what backpack he would bring, even what lunch you would pack him. Jaehee did a good job waking the both of you earlier than needed because the bus was already waiting for your son outside before you knew it.

☕️ In the end your son took both the red sweater and orange cardigan to stop the both of you arguing. The fashion police is definitely coming after your son this morning.

☕️ You and Jaehee took each side of your son’s small little hands as you both walked out to the bus that’d stopped in front of your café/house. Suddenly, Jaehee broke down into tears as you soon followed.

☕️ “Mommies why are you crying?!” Your son sighs, “Come here.” You and Jaehee crouch down to meet him in the eyes.

☕️ He pulls the two of you in for a group hug as he pats you and Jaehee’s back like a mature adult. “There there, it’s going to be okay.” Probably saw Jumin doing this with Elizabeth the 3rd.

☕️ He calmed the both of you down before you and Baehee waved him off with a million kisses. You saw him smiling in his seat through the window as the bus took off. He’d be back home in a few hours, but you both already missed him.

☕️ You hugged Jaehee, “Time really does fly when you are happy, huh? Our little son’s already attending Kindergarten.” She nodded in agreement before proceeding to cling onto your waist and burying her face into your shoulder, once again breaking into tears as you comfort her.  ( 〃▽〃)

🎤 Zen 🎤

🎤 You had your six year old son in your arms as Zen held your waist when you finally got to the Kindergarten your son would be attending.

🎤 All eyes were on your family, specifically on Zen’s god like beauty and you and his son that exactly took after him. The same gorgeous snowy white and beautiful scarlet eyes.

🎤  All the moms were thrilled to see Zen while their husbands could care less. You heard small whispers like, “Zen’s son is attending the same Kindergarten with our daughter? Ohohoho, I hope they become good friends!”

🎤 You probably looked tense because your son and boyfriend was quick to notice. “Jagiya is everything okay?~” You looked at Zen, then at your son in your arms as he sadly pouted a little, “Mommy am I too heavy?”

🎤 You shook your head, “No it’s not that sweetie. Mommy’s just a little emotional. When have you become such a big boy? Already attending Kindergarten now...” You smile as you hold him closer and nuzzle his nose against yours. He grins, “That’s a good thing! The faster I get older, the faster I will be able to marry you mommy!”

🎤 “Sweetie, you can’t marry mommy. Mommy is mine.” Zen sticks closer to you with a teasing smile as he gently ruffles his son’s hair. Your son simply frowns in response. You laugh as you gently place your son down when you notice a few other little girls your son’s age surrounding around you so they could talk to your son. Oh boy, he was already a lady-killer like his daddy.

🎤 You whisper, “Go make some friends.” Hyun hands him his small backpack and gently caresses his adorable puffy cheeks. He nods and gently pecks the both of your chins.

🎤 He’s soon swarmed with kids that want to talk with him. You can’t stop looking his direction before Zen reassures you, “Babe, he’ll be just fine.” You smile as you hug him back, “I know...” 

♛ Jumin ♛

♛ Jumin woke you and your daughter up, just like any other day and served you both his delicious pancakes. After dishing out on breakfast, you both got your daughter ready for her first day. 

♛ You even braided her luminous black hair into a small braid with all the hair she barely had as a 5 year old. 

♛ Jumin continued to anxiously blabber all through the car ride. At one point your ears even felt like bleeding. But you knew he was just feeling anxious for his precious daughter. 

♛ Before school had officially started, all the little kids were waiting outside with their parents. Some people immediately noticed your family and all eyes were on you, after all, you and your husband’s always in interviews, magazines, and articles.

♛ Your daughter had talked about all the things she wanted to do at school, it was then when a small boy approached your family. He waves at your daughter and attempts to introduce himself, “Hi...” 

♛ He soon turns into a blushing mess as his words become smaller and harder to understand. You quietly giggle thinking he’s adorable but you instantly feel bad when he runs away. Jumin hugs your daughter, “Sweetie, no boys. Okay?” You and your daughter rolls your eyes in sync.

♛ That afternoon, on the ride back home your daughter is talking about how exciting and joyful her first day was. “Oh and mommy, daddy! You know that boy that came up to us earlier before you both left? He’s my friend now, and I think he has a crush on you mommy.”

♛ You’re startled as you ask her if you heard her right, “Me?” Your daughter nods with a mischievous smile. “No. Mommy’s mine.” Jumin frowns as he wraps his arms around you. You laugh as you gently rub your hand against his cheeks, “Are you jealous of a little boy?” He blushes in response. You and your daughter make fun of him the entire ride home. 

👓 Saeyoung 👓

👓 Saeyoung is in tears thinking of parting with his treasure. He had never been away from his son ever since he’d been out of your womb. No doubt, he’s the best father ever.

👓 You reassure him, “Baby, you’ll see him again in a few hours-” But that doesn’t make him let go of his son as he squishes onto him even more. “But sweetie, hours! Those hours will feel like a million years!”

👓 Soon enough Saeyoung unintentionally makes your son also cry, “Dad! Don’t cry...you’re gonna make me sad too!” You smile watching your husband and your son turn into an adorable, sobbing mess.

👓 You soon notice your son’s teacher coming out to greet her new student. “Darling, look your teacher is here to get you. Don’t forget to give mommy and daddy kisses before you go!!!” That does the trick, he stops crying with a nod and brightly pecks you and Saeyoung on the cheek.

👓 Your son also makes sure to kiss your stomach where his baby sister is growing. His teacher quickly greets you with a smile and guides your son into the small building. 

👓 Saeyoung stands back up and holds your waist as you both wave at your son as a final goodbye for now.

👓 Saeyoung continues to stare at the building, where his son and teacher have already entered and are no longer in sight. You smile as you wipe his tears with the sleeve of your sweater, “Darling, everything will be okay.”

👓 "...Yeah, I know." He smiles and takes your hand as he guides you back to the car.

🌚 Saeran 🌚 

🌚 Oh boy the morning was utter chaos, you and Saeran chased around your wild butt naked son around the house. All you guys wanted to do was give him a quick bath.

🌚 When Saeran had finally caught him, you and he could finally stop to breathe for some air. Saeran ruffles the boys hair, “That rainbow loop cereal surely got you hyper.” Your son struggles to get out of Saeran's arms but he’s too strong.

🌚 When you finally give your son a bath, you and Saeran are able to get him to school in time. Other than the fact that he’s grumpy it looks like he doesn’t really mind, going to Kindergarten.

🌚 That was what you and Saeran had thought until he didn’t let go of you and began to wail into your cardigan.

🌚 “Oh sweetie what’s wrong?” You share a glance with Saeran as he shrugs. “Why can’t I stay home with you mommy and daddy? I don’t want to go! Please don’t make me go!” He begins to beg and whine on the floor.

🌚 Saeran crouches down next to you as he gently grabs his son and pulls him into his arms, “When you get older... there are some things you won’t be able to do and you’ll regret it later on. So stop whining . Who knows? You might even actually enjoy this.” Saeran smiles as his son stops crying. 

🌚 Saeran kisses his forehead as you also place a kiss next to his. Your son returns the kiss on both of your cheeks. He waves at the both of you before he follows the other kids in line to enter the school.

🌚 You and Saeran stand back up, you give him two thumbs up as he smiles, taking both of you back home.

✺◟( • ͜ʖ ͡• )◞✺

♧ Jihyun ♧

♧ You rub your eyes, waking up to Jihyun smiling at you as he gently pats his hand on his daughter’s back between the two of you. 

♧ You both gently get out of bed, careful not to wake your daughter up. You both freshen up in the bathroom together and head to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

♧ Not too long after, your daughter noticed the empty presence of her missing parents on the bed and slowly dragged herself out into the kicthen with her bunny plush.

♧ You noticed her as you beamed, "Good morning sweetie! Did you have a good night?” you carry your daughter into the bathroom as you help her wash her face. 

♧ The morning goes rather smoothly after that, Jihyun even ties your daughter’s aqua hair up like a princess. When the school bus arrives, she giggles with butterflies in her stomach.

♧ Jihyun is quick to notice, he gives her a peck on her cheeks, "Everything will be okay sweetheart, have fun, learn new things. Mommy and daddy will come pick you up in a bit!"

♧ "Mhm!" Your daughter gives an affectionate kiss on both your cheeks and finally a cling on your waist as she gives a goodbye kiss to the small baby in your womb.