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Season 2, Episode 4 Part 4 Rant (Final)
The Episode (Part 4)
On to the second half of the episode, we suddenly get a “boss fight” of Cyanide.
Pauses the episode
Me: Ok, I got some things to say about this. Firstly, throughout the boss fight, I notice actual coding that can be probably ciphered, which I’m not even gonna try. But thankfully, someone named @mzoyagon already posted the translation of it.
It reads:
"my name is cyanide" "who am i?" "what am i?" "am i good?" "am i bad?" "my name is cyanide" "my name is teal" "my name is cyanide" "my name is teal"
This cipher probably represents the themes of identity, duality, and moral ambiguity.
I’m finally gonna go ultra analysis on this.
"My name is Cyanide" / "My name is Teal": The alternating names symbolizes the coexistence of the duality or conflicting aspects. Cyanide (or as Teal now)as a corrupt may represent as harmful or destructive. This could be further summarized by her name and definition she initially analyzed in Season 1, Episode 9, saying it as a deadly chemical.
Alternatively, she can be viewed as a "deadly force" - a project created by her caretaker and boss, Dub. She was intended to be a weapon, as demonstrated in this episode when she prematurely matured into her mature form before going to start attacking Cyan and the other Heroes in “ATTACK MODE”. Or, this one sounds kind of dumb but, you might see Cyanide as “the devil herself” along with this because… She has the devil horns on her head, heheh…
As for Teal, (which is still Cyanide herself, but has a pure being now and with a different name) her pure self simply represent a more balanced and calmer side, such as not being dangerous to those around her anymore as a sign of peace for finally being a pure shape like the main Heroes (Cyan, Orange, Gold, and Tsavorite).
"Who am I?" / "What am I?": These simple, seemingly simplistic questions convey a sense of existential uncertainty. Cyanide appears to be grappling with an internal struggle, questioning not only her identity but also her essence and purpose.
This image goes with “Who Am I?” from the translation here above Cyan. It also further proves my point when Cyanide expresses a “question mark” on her face.
"Am I good?" / "Am I bad?": The two lines imply a moral conflict. Cyanide may be questioning her actions, intentions, or inherent nature, perhaps influenced by her duality ("Cyanide" and "Teal").
This image goes along with “Am I Good?”.
This cipher emphasizes the tension between these two identities. For instance, Cyanide's boss fight could mainly reflect her wrestling with the understanding of finding her true morality and identity.
Her path to her redemption keeps on getting cut out because of her corruption & appearance as a corrupt, naiveness, and the large amount of mistrust, mistreatment, or misjudgment from most of the good guys. All she wanted was to find her true self as it eventually leads to her being a purely cured hero.
But, here’s the main problem with this, which I will get into a bit.
Continues the episode
After Cyanide gets purified back into her supposed pure counterpart, which she starts system rebooting herself. Cyan, in shock, says if he actually did do it, which Tsavorite expresses so much excitement by throwing Cyan up into the air before catching him.
Pauses the episode
Me: OH WOW! The entire boss level method works SO. DAMN. WELL. That entire dumb Tree of Life purification method that Gold previously did for his caretaker, Pyrare was for nothing here to just cause... AN ERROR and have Tsavorite literally waste a part of his tree’s power while trying to cure Cyanide!
And you know what, chat? Wanna know the whole subplot for Cyanide's overall character arc here, everyone in my opinion….? Let's contextually ham-fist "The Woobie Trope" into a corrupted hero, who hates being a corrupt and trying to make every effort not to act malevolently or harm others as possible, while getting constant mistrust, mistreatment, or misjudgment from most of the other characters, and almost being painfully naïve for like S1 EP 9-10 to S2 E1 & 4.
I’M NOT JOKING! The resolution of this arc, felt unearned or overly convenient. Her internal struggle gets abruptly solved in an astonishingly simplistic manner, thanks to Cyan's intervention. The entire establishment for it just feels like such a damn cop out to make look way too fucking easy. For some reason, I fought at first that Cyanide was gonna be unusually unable to be uncorrupted. BUT NO! It gets so suddenly solved by having that entire Tree of Life method become instantly pointless here just for it to be so easily fixed by Cyan's heroic non-newbie skills through the "boss level method"!
Continues the episode
Gold says that he guesses Cyanide doesn’t need the Green’s tree, which Orange also replied about it too. After Cyanide “Power On” herself, she gasped while saying if she was actually uncorrupted, while looking at her new appearance.
Pauses the episode
Me: I’m just realizing something. The main reason why it didn’t work was because she was born from the Cyan Tree instead of the Green one. Maybe if they would’ve done it with the Cyan tree instead of Tsavorite’s, than it would have probably worked.
Continues the episode
Cyan zooms over to Cyanide and asks her how she’s feeling, to which Cyanide says she’s feeling euphoric. Tsavorite, while still excited about her finally being a part of the family, he and Cyan asked Cyanide what they and the others would call her. After Cyanide starts thinking about what new name she should be called, she then tells the others that her name is now “Teal”.
Tsavorite says the name, Teal fits perfect for her and is officially now part of the family. Teal than thanks Circubit again for his help before the screen goes to black. The scene starts to move the camera to the Royal Graveyard, which we see the Reaper (La Danse Macabre) themselves. Circubit finally shows up and was happy to see the Reaper (La Danse Macabre) still here at the graveyard and wants to ask them for a favor.
Pauses the episode
Me: OK, I wanna tell you something that I found out from the Reaper (La Danse Macabre)’s official appearance here. I recently remember a user named, @pavtriobnal that sums up it’s entire appearance in this image perfectly. It legitimately looks like a fucking SPUNKI OC. I’m not kidding, like am I wrong on this? 🤣🤣
Continues the episode
The Reaper (La Danse Macabre) asks about the favor, saying that it better be something than resurrection. Circubit replies to the Reaper about having the resurrection part only be preferable to only himself and then says it’s something else that he wants.
Circubit asks the Reaper for a request to corrupt a caretaker, in which the Reaper questions him about which caretaker he’s referring to. Circubit answers that it’s Iris himself, while unbeknownst to the duo, they are being spied on by the Bossfight Group, Cintagon and Circumsphere.
Cintagon says, “Oh my god” before asking Circumsphere about the reason for revisiting his homeland. Circumsphere tells him that he had a hunch that the reaper would be a problem due to the Pink Corruption Virus, and saying he didn’t expect Circusic would be revived of all shapes, implying to the dead spheres in the graveyard.
Circumsphere tells Cintagon that they need to return to the Spheral Village to warn the others as possible before the credits shown.
The Episode finally concludes here
Final Verdict
Ok, now for the final verdict for Season 2, Episode 4 as a whole. I’m gonna unfortunately gonna give this a 4/10. Season 2 is… Really starting off to a pretty bad start for me in my opinion in the first 4 episodes…
Cons
Most of the episode was like a poorly constructed Cyanide-focused installment. Nothing else... Circubit’s return was handled clumsily, seemingly shoehorned out of no where without proper buildup or context. His sudden reappearance, coupled with the introduction of his new ability to allow himself to control between as a pure or corrupted shape, felt contrived and poorly integrated. His return is basically wanting us too see how the fucking catalyst for Cyanide's prematurity will go. But, this transformation left it's execution left so much to be desired just for it to immediately go away in this episode.
Additionally, the lack of explanation regarding Circusic’s abrupt reversion from Season 2, Episode 2, which inexplicably led to his sudden change back into his corrupted counterpart in the opening scene was just a bizarre oversight to watch. Unless, you guys provide possible theories like me on WHY it happened in the first place. But, there was no clarity or context provided for this shift.
Heroes are about to start swearing, which is just generally uncomfortable. Circubit unintentionally teaching Cyanide the swear word, "Asshole", even though the duo doesn't care, which is just totally unnecessary for cheap, lazy humor for the series (although some of you people will probably find it funny or not).
Cyanide’s (now Teal) character arc has been profoundly underwhelming. The progression from a kind yet overly naïve corrupt, mistreated and dismissed by those around her for three consecutive episodes, to a sudden desire for change, feels poorly executed. This shift, culminating in that subplot being resolved abruptly within this episode, comes across as a rushed and lazy decision.
Pros
Now onto pros, which they are at least a few.
Cyanide’s boss level was actually interesting, especially going along with the cipher analysis for her character. Even though like I said, the execution isn’t good enough for me.
It is somewhat intriguing to observe Circubit creating a specific task by the Reaper creature, aiming to corrupt Iris for reasons that remain unclear—possibly as an act of revenge or for some other purpose. It could be potentially good for this development to open a door for an actual plotline to explore the dynamic between Iris and his corrupted counterpart. Such as, diving into what he's soul realm will look like, revealing his counterpart's motivations. Or, maybe perhaps even exposing hidden insecurities that Iris harbors but conceals from those around him like how Cubic expose Cube's insecurity on his caretaking skills to his hero, Cyan since Season 1, Episode 3. (But, I don't know, considering his unlikability).
The Bossfight Group is set to return in the next episode, most likely airing somewhere next year for Season 2, Episode 5. We get a bit of additional depth of Circumsphere's character, as he reveals to Cintagon his awareness of Circusic and the Reaper Creature, even though I expecting more here. It is also possible that Circumsphere and Circusic may have once been acquaintances or even former friends.
So yeah, this episode is way worse than simply receiving a present filled with black coal on a warm, Christmas morning.
Anyway, HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!
#the pink corruption#tpc#pink corruption#brittcorruption#jsab tpc#episode rant#tpc long post#tpc deeper analysis#tpc teal#tpc circubit#tpc cyanide
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#ah fuck#I’m getting excited about writing again#so I’m posting about it more#but I feel like I’m posting TOO much and annoying everyone#my bad to everyone for the constant posting#just feel embarrassed by my excitement like I get in real life#which is just great#autism stuff I suppose
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Want to perish but hanging on 👍
#Ronkey posts#venting#Still dealing with a mind breaking headache ontop of my heart telling me every single reason im better off fading away#Just a constant barrage of physical VS mental and i#fall inbetween#It feels like im actively fighting to stay happy and it feels so unfair with everything going around#id be angry. id lash out. id cry - but theres so little in me from how exhausted i feel. on an existential level#the world doesnt stop#time keeps moving#i fall behind and i miss out and im overwhelmed#no matter how much i have myself figured out its still there#perhaps fading wouldnt be so bad#im sorry if i dwindle socially#im still working on things - i resumed commission work so at least my customers dont suffer through whatever this is im going through agai#ill email everyones completed pieces soon
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Post doomsday runaway au idk
#me doods#when i said that ctommy's staying in my head forever i mean it#post doomsday and also like. years later. everyone's older#no way am i maintagging this lol#its sooo hard getting used to drawing on a tablet my hand hurts waaaaa#very different from using my intuos#i haven't drawn my boy in a long while and it shows#shroud is the sweetest most politest boy ever. tommy for the life of him has no idea how he turned out that way asdfghjkl#michael is older than shroud and is in a constant balancing act of trying to be a good role model and a bad influence#the hands took like an hour btw 💀 this is what i get for not using refs#will prolly add more later#runaway au
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"Ahaha Daemon is so dumb for believing the old man is the one actively poisoning him when the weird goth witch giving him weird concoctions is right there."
May I introduce you to a beautiful concept known as sleep deprivation ? Man's only gotten poor quality sleep (if any at all) for weeks for all we know. Mood swings and paranoia are bound to go hand in hand with that one. Logical thinking ? Nope. Not happening. You add the fucking hallucinations further messing up his mind to the mix and you get exactly what we see.
#like I know the writing is bad#I am not a fan of the harrenhall arc#but you cannot complain about a character not using his braincells while actively also not using your braincells#kinda contradicting if you ask me#n e ways#talking from experience here btw#throwback to that one week of suffering from tension headaches so bad I thought my skull was going to explode#painkillers did nothing#sleeping was impossible for four (4!!!!!!) entire days#after that I managed to pass out for an hour or two every once in a while as the headaches ever so slowly started getting better#my brain was fucking mush on day 3#there was no being reasonable and thinking logically anymore#I had the worst mood swings#like constant mood swings#I was about ready to kill the next person who as much as made a sound#I snapped at everyone who checked up on me#worst fucking week of my life#do not recommend#anyways#you can hate the character#you can criticize the direction the writers have taken for him this season#but maybe stop being hypocritical little shits about it :)#whatever. I'll lose followers for this one and I do not give a fuck.#got mad scrolling the tag.#will go back to regular posting now.#can we talk about the fact that the acting was fucking phenomenal in that scene#daemon targaryen#hotd spoilers#putting this in the tag actually pls feel free to get openly mad at me I would love to have a free blocklist <3#much love <3
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being disabled is so ungodly stupid 'ohhh its too hot out i cant function' regulate your goddamn heat better you have ORGANS that are MADE to DO THIS!!!!!!
#blue moon personal post#at some point i passed getting sad or upset about my disability and only go 'oh come the fuck on' at it#like its my shitty failure coworker in a two legged race that i cant get away from#funniest part of this is i dont know WHAT i actually have (my best guess is cfs) irt physical disability i just know my shits fucked so bad#doesnt everyone have frequent blackouts and constant petit mal seizures and—
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thinking really hard about logging into my old tumblr acc after being gone for like a year and a half cause i stumbled upon a post that led me to my old mutuals and i teared up a lil </3 but also i feel so ashamed i left without saying a word to anyone aaaa
#like i genuinely feel so bad for simply disappearing from people's lives :c#i used to talk to some of them daily and like even had plans to see one of them on holiday to another country?? like that level of close#and then well my mental health went to shit i took a semester off uni and disappeared from my irl friends' lives too for a good 6 months#some of my mutuals had my ig and we followed each other but i also haven't really been there much since dissappearing last year so#but i just snooped into some of their accounts and seeeing what they're up to made me want to talk to them sooo bad#everyone was so cool and kind and i miss them so much it's just i feel so guilty and also don't even know if i'm able to mantain constant#contact and conversations with people now. like it's been even hard for me to stay in touch with my irl friends aaa#why must my brain hate me so much and not let me socialize !! i used to be such an extroverted person what the fuck happened!!#i know some of them messaged me worried and i felt so guilty for not responding but i saw those dms when i was very much deppressed#so i never answered and now i feel like it's too late GOD!!#anyways at least it was nice snooping and seeing how they're doing i genuinely wish them only good things they're fucking great#maybe i just need to suck it up and just go back and talk to people again but i get so overwhelmed just thinking about it!!#okay it's like 4 am i'm posting this and maybe deleting it in the morning sorry for the rant i just am feeling a lot !!
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i'm normal now. lying also
#clai speaks#god. God.#a game hasnt made me feel despair like that since m/ther 3#i was so tense and horrified and just downright felt Awful through all of act 5. this RULED ITS SOOOOO SO SO GOOD!!!!! AAUGHHH#hehe. my favorite game is black and white and my second favorite game is in black and white#i think theres still a lot i need to look into. one of the posts i rbed mentioned a loop fight and uhhh What. Huh#i missed a lot in my game i think.... i had to look up walkthroughs a couple times and found out about things like--#--the ghost event or bad touch event. though tbh i'm very glad i didnt see bad touch event!!!!#but also i never managed to make the bomb i didnt open some rooms i couldnt sharpen the keyknife#so i'm wondering just how much i missed#i won't replay though i do wanna get through my backlog BJEVRJBFF#but just aughhh. isat. really really well done game. phenomenal showstopping spectacular#every single character is a delight!! everyone is so well fleshed out their interactions so good#siffrin..... man. i really saw a lot of myself in them a lot of things hit very close to home for me#god!!!! he loved his family so much he almost destroyed the world to keep them together!!!!!!! thats awful i love it!!!!!!!!!!!#i guess i will say a couple points of progression werent too clear. a couple times loop told me to do things i already did#and certain things you had to do in a specific order so i would just loop around pointlessly a couple times#but overall still very good i enjoyed myself a lot#if i ever play again. i gotta keep notes bc i Also have a terrible memory VJDVFJFB#i spent 10 loops trying to find the room with the craftology book it was EMBARRASSING#honestly. kinda adds to the experience does it not. just like siffrin i was forgetting things i should have known and--#--getting increasingly more exasperated with the constant looping for like One (1) thing i missed#really really Reeeeally good game. phenomenal game. please play it please play it please play it please play it
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I fucking hate miya I fucking hate miya I fucking hate miya I FUCKING HATE HER SO MUCH I HATE HER SO FUCKINH MUCH someone is gonna have to sedate me before I EXPLODE
#hey look it’s one of those rare times I post about roots and not PDBC#I fucking hate miya have I mentioned that already#she makes me SO MAD so FUCKING MAD she’s the worst character#finally caved in and read the previously-lost-media-pages that explain what her deal is due to my brother’s constant begging for me to do so#(I was going to do it on my Own time but I’m sick of being pestered about it)#and I hate her even MORE holy shit#genuinely trying to tone down my language so this post doesn’t get marked as mature or something#she is SUCH A BITCH SHE I CANT STAND HERUHLSIHIUSNUSLINSUILUNLSNDLUNDNUIDL#don’t go read roots to see why I hate her. don’t do it genuinely don’t do it you’ll get pissed off#MIYAAAAAA 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕AAUUGHHHHH#I know this post won’t make sense to anyone I just need to get it all out because screaming makes my throat hurt#and full disclosure I Did scream about it. I got very heated over it (this is normal behavior) (no it’s not’#my brother has the NERVE to say she’s like leif. they are nothing LIKE each other#miya will be the end of me I hate her So Much#have I mentioned that she was needlessly rude to Kurt like wha the fuck#Kurt did nothing wrong and she just was so mean to him for no reason. appalling behavior#this bitch miya has the nerve to act all morally superior to everyone else when she’s just as bad#something something glass houses something something the entire conflict is Miya’s fault#roots my beloved but also I have never felt this much genuine hatred for a fictional character before#she legitimately caused the main conflicts‼️ she’s horrible!! and not even in a funny way!!#I’m not gonna pretend finch isn’t a total jackass just because I think he’s funny alright? he is#but he’s ENTERTAINING he at least DOES HIS JOB AS A JACKASS well#I Love villains but not when they’re ACTING LIKE THEYRE NOT ONE. COUGH COUGH MIYYYAAA 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕#miya is such a horrid. horrid thing#I’m needlessly heated over this but this hatred has been brewing for a year now#exactly a year now in fact. happy one year anniversary of the start of my unhealthy hatred of this fictional character#I need to calm down I need to calm the FUCK down#she is SO STUPID like ACTUALLY she could’ve fixed the cause of the main conflict before it even happened#but she Didn’t she DIDNT I need to CALM DOWN#if miya has zero haters then I am dead
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Finally getting started on Welcome Home and I’ve only heard 1 minute clips of Barbary, Julie, Frank, Eddie, Howdy, Sally, and Poppy, but I adore every single one of them and want only good things for them.
#my posts#welcome home#I am that ‘I’ve only had Arlo for a day but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself’ meme#this truly is a lovely neighborhood#I sure hope nothing bad happens to them *ignores the horror warning of this arg*#at the moment Eddie and Wally are tied for fav#Eddie because he’s a mailman AND!! he seems to have memory issues!! maybe I dont know I only heard him talk for a minute. but yeah!!!#AND APPARENTLY HE STRONG?? also his last name is Dear and that is just so Good I love that verrrry much#Wally because of constant exposure. you people sure do love Wally a lot so through osmosis so do I#but everyone else is just SUCH a delight#poppy sounds so sweet and mother henly hehe
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Could someone tell me where the interpretation that, in book canon, the promotion Nie Mingjue gives Meng Yao made Meng Yao's life worse than it was before, came from?
I have seen that claim made multiple times now and I've looked at the text over and over trying to see where the basis for it is and I. Can't find it? Don't get me wrong, it absolutely spells out that it does not and cannot fix everything for Meng Yao, but the idea that it was actively bad for him?
Lacking other evidence, I kind of have to assume that it comes from cql canon being sort of projected backwards onto book canon. In cql canon, meng yao is suffering active and explicit bullying and abuse from the captain while under the nie, and does so because the capain believes he has risen above his station via nmj's promotion of him. (In book canon this... isn't happening. It happens with the captain in Langya instead) However, in cql canon he has also been with the nie for years and is openly close to both Nie Mingjue and Nie Huasiang, whereas in book canon he has only been working with nie mingjue for a few months (though has, in that time, apparently become close enough to him for Lan Xichen to explicitly state Meng Yao is able to calm nmj down in ways no one else can? Ofc he does this... Right after that stops being true. But. Food for thought. Not what this post is about tho.) So, if you project the much more explicit abuse from the nie sect captain in cql back on novel jgy who has a presumably much less stable position in the sect overall you get... a meng yao for whom the promotion only means a bigger target on his back and virtually no protection from nmj, who we must assume he can't trust to talk to his about because he never mentions it. (This also explicitly violates book canon when it comes to meng yao's general behaviour, we'll talk about that in a sec)
And look. We all do frankencanon in this house. I get it. And for fanfiction that is very fun. But for a serious reading of the character, his situation, and the actions that lead from that this... doesn't make much sense, in my opinion.
So. Why is that? Why did I say this was out of character for the novel? Because Meng yao spoke up about the jin captain mistreating him. Multiple times! It's just that none of it mattered because no one cared to listen to him. This is a pretty important line for his character because it flatly shows that meng yao is not and has never seen murder as something trivial. He's not trigger happy. He will only do it if he sees no other way out that doesn't end in himself being seriously harmed. (Whether he's right or justified in these cases is not the point of this post.)
If anything remotely similar was happening in the Nie sect, he would have said so. Cql Meng Yao doesn't do this because cql Meng Yao is a different character, and also the plot wouldn't work if he did. Cql Nie Mingjue, by extension, comes off as a fundamentally less trustworthy figure in cql Meng Yao's life because apparently for whatever reason, he cannot be trusted with the information that the deputy he has already publicly defended is still being harassed, and doesn't notice even when it is really blatant. The assumtpion the audience is given is that, like a middle schooler getting the principal involved when being bullied, it would only make the harassment more viscious.
This... actually has a somewhat solid basis in the book. Because after nmj yells at the bullies in question Wei Wuxian says this.
And it is important to keep in mind that this is Wei Wuxian saying this. Not Meng Yao, not an omniscient narrator. Wei wuxian is drawing on his own experiences, likely from the Jiang family, to conclude that if someone is angry at you and thwarted by someone defending you, this generally does not make them less angry at you.
This is leaving out two crucial things, though.
Firstly, this worry isn't about the promotion at all.
The promotion hasn't even been brought up. In the novel it doesn't ctually happen immediately, it takes another few battles where meng yao continues to do his job well and nie mingjue continues praising him for him to eventually go "yeah, you deserve a raise."
This is another aspect that is being projected from cql canon onto book canon I presume, because it does happen quite quickly there, and it's a throwaway line in the books so it's easy to miss. I can't be mad about anyone forgetting the difference, but it is important to mention for this particular analysis.
Which is the second point: change in status
Wei Wuxian couldn't exactly change status within the Jiang family. (And if he could, that would just fuel rumours that he was jfm's bastard even more and make madam yu even angrier at him, etc etc.)
This isn't comparable to Meng Yao. The worry Wei Wuxian is talking about is explitly about Nie Mingjue's initial very loud defense of him. Before he has any idea Nie Mingjue is going to promote him.
Promoting him would likely decrease his chances of cultivators coming after him because now he was in a higher standing in the sect than they were. If applied to that earlier metaphor of middle school bullying it's like if the bullied kid suddenly got hired as a teacher. Which. Doesn't work with the metaphor at all. Touché. But what I am trying to say is that any payback they would have planned for him relied on the fact that they could make sure that Nie Mingjue wasn't going to be within very convenient earshot a second time, and as a random disciple Meng Yao couldn't just go complain to him every time.
But as his right hand man? Who spends most of his time working directly alongside him? Lmao. Good luck. Oh, sure, it is very likely that they feel offended a son of a whore has been raised in status above them, and many will continue to do so as jgy rises through cultivation society (in fact, Wei Wuxian's observations are absolutely on point for how Madam Jin will be treating jgy later on). But as we can also see from the way jgy is treated and how he treats others throughout the story: you can be upset all you want, but if that person is higher than you in status there's jack shit you can do about it.
If I am correct and Wei Wuxian is basing this on his experiences with the Jiang family, it makes sense why he'd miss this. Madam Yu gets to be way angrier at Jiang Fengmian as his wife than some random disciples can be at Nie Mingjue. Insulting Meng Yao, suggesting that he didn't deserve his promotion or that he earned it through less than proper means (you know who is mother is) is also an insult to Nie Mingjue and the way he chooses to run his sect. They can't do that.
Another thing I see brought up in this regard would be the tea scene. There may be no explicit harassment like in the show, but cultivators still don't respect him! The disrespect is just quieter and more subtle.
Tiny detail: these are actually not Nie cultivators
They're cultivators Lan Xichen is escorting with him, making a pitstop in heijan.
The book confirms this by basically outright stating that this is the first time they see his face, and recognize him as Jin Guangshan's bastard son.
Now, just because there is no proof that it happened doesn't mean it definitely never happened. Mdzs is a novel that often leaves stuff out or up to interpretation. Similar stuff to the tea situtation could very well be happening in the background. But I do think it is pretty significant that there is no mention whatsoever of Meng Yao having any negative treatment from Nie cultivators betwen him and Nie Mingjue meeting and him executing them while spying for Wen Ruohan, and the most we get is Wei Wuxian's personal speculation, after which he immediately goes to wax poetic about how surprised he is that Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue are getting along super well.
And, again, novel Meng Yao would have said something. He doesn't say anything about the tea scene. - Or? Does he? Notably 3zun have some very long in depth conversations that Wei Wuxian zones out from because he's busy thinking about Lan Zhan again. But let's not rely on what-ifs. Let's say that neither he nor Lan Xichen find it worth bringing up. Major reasons for that would be that a) these are not nie cultivators, nie mingjue wouldn't really have the authority to scold them. Especially because b) it's such a subtle offense it could easily be handwaved as coincidence. "They just always brush their cups clean like that!! It's wartime you know, and they were traveling! They're used to drinking from vessels that aren't thoroughly washed everytime! It's just a habit!" And would therefore not be worth reporting.
But anything worse than that? A "price tens or hundreds of times greater" like wwx mentions? He'd report it! I do understand that "well if it was happening why didn't he say something?" would, in real life, be victim blaming. This is not real life, and I am not talking about this in a matter of blame. If Meng Yao was being mistreated in the Nie and stayed silent about it, it would still not be his fault. I am talking about this in a manner of character consistency.
His admission of seeking help in the Jin sect shows that at that time and prior to it (a very good argument can be made that he loses faith in this idea) he believes that if he is being mistreated and someone with the authority to say something about it takes his side, things can improve. If Nie Mingjue standing up for him in Qinghe only made things worse, he would not have tried to ask for help in an even more hostile environment. You can call Meng Yao many things, but naïve isn't one of them.
Meng yao's later habit of completely isolating himself and lying to everyone around him comes from the fact that revealing his suffering would mean explaining several horrible things he's become complicit in and he does not feel safe admitting to that. But he's done nothing wrong here!
The reading where he says nothing would imply an either correct or incorrect belief in Meng Yao's eyes that Nie Mingjue did not much care for his wellbeing or safety. Oh sure he defended him once but doing so again multiple times would be such a bother. This also contradicts his later behaviour, where he banks solely on Nie Mingjue's protective instincts to seal his qi and escape during the confrontation in Langya. After having been caught murdering a man, he is still convinced Nie Mingjue will immediately try to help him when he is in serious danger.
And even if you very badly want to characterize Nie Mingjue as a blundering idiot who is apparently less trustworthy in Meng Yao's eyes than the jin cultivators who had already resoundly rejected him by the time he tries to ask for help with the langya captain. He doesn't say anything to Xichen either! Lan Xichen, who has explicitly and exhaustively been portrayed as kind and understanding to Meng Yao's circumstances and very willing to talk to Mingjue if Meng Yao wants something from him he doesn't otherwise think he'd get. The conversation Mingjue overhears where Meng Yao's new position in the Nie is explictly brought up would be kind of the perfect time to go "yeah I've been promoted but I'm not treated well by other soldiers" aaaand. Nothing. So unless you come to the conclusion that Meng Yao trusted the Jin he told about the captain's abuse more than Lan Xichen you kind of have to conclude that Meng Yao's treatment after his promotion improved significantly. And that even if people still disliked him they could not openly do anything about it because he was high enough in status for that to be socially inappropiate. Which is, explicitly, one of his main motivators over the entire course of the story: Avoiding mistreatment by getting high enough on the social ladder it doesn't matter what people think of him, they can't hurt him.
And I'm not sure how to reconcile that character journey with the idea that he would, at any point, have preferred to keep his head down and stay where he was. When he was so desperate to crawl his way out.
#the main tragedy of his character- of course- being that he keeps achieving that status and it is never enough#he achieves standing with the nie and the favor of a major sect leader and it's not enough for his father to even give him the time of day#he kills wrh amd becomes a war hero and gets acknowledged by his father!!#and all it gets him is nmj's constant distrust abuse at the hands of his stepmother and complicity in mass murder by his father's orders#he gets to the HIGHEST POSITION SOCIETY HAS. LITERAL CHIEF CULTIVATOR. And the moment he stumbles everyone turns on him immediately#like they were all just waiting for him to get low enough again that they could kick him further down#it's a rise-fall-rise-fall-rise-fall journey with every step up being a desperate fight and every tumble down being way too quick and easy#but! that rise still needs to be there!! for the story to work!!#the tragedy of qinghe for meng yao is how easily he loses nmj's fsvor. NOT that having it was bad in the first place#I understand that this reading is mainly done to put nmj in a bad light but I do genuinely think it does jgy a disservice#people more often apply this to him becoming jin guangyao which does in a lot of ways doom and trap him#and yes fuck jgs fuck that guy all the way to hell#but the key is that meng yao can't just get a happy ending by refusing power#he's not power hungry. what he wants is in fact reasonable- he's just willing to do a lot more than most to get it#'things would've been better if nmj didn't promote him/didn't send him to langya'#feels as reductive to me as the 'why can't he just be xichen's house boyfriend and join the lan instead' takes.#mdzs#meng yao#jin guangyao#mdzs meta#? sorta#feels too ranty to call meta#this is what i was talking about in my past post about how frustrating it is to base metas around disagreeing with others#makes analysis feel like discourse when that is NOT what i am trying to do#long post with long tags
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& like everyone in e65 is an unreliable narrator gwen stacy especially. u cannot take the things she sees and says at face value when she's already somebody who's deeply self loathing, passively suicidal, morally grey & an objectively bad, unsocialized person. she didn't use her powers for the greater good she used them from day 1 to uphold her own personal biases and make a name for herself. she has never been altruistic. her talk with uncle ben literally consisted of "you need to kill this guy, nobody else will and if you don't everyone around you will continue to suffer." . great power comes with great responsibility, and to her that responsibility is revenge against people she personally sees as deserving of it
#not saying shes a bad person or that she harms people for fun. but.#i hate how shes written in spiderverse#the venom symbiote only amplified thoughts she Already Had#it wasn't this magical chemical that “turned her evil” it dragged it out of her brain and forced her to face it#she was never cured she just learned to live with it#and like she still hurts people post symbiote!! its a constant fight with herself to uphold this expectation that everyone else has of her!#her world sees her as a killer and a domestic terrorist shes dead everywhere else etc etc etc#she talks to the 617 variant of her and gets told that she's lucky#that she needs to be a hero. because at least gwen stacy gets to live Somewhere in the multiverse#is the sacrifice worth it when everyone else in your universe suffers on account of your survival though#maybe dying clean and pretty with a legacy of Good things would've been better than what you turned out to be#etc etc etc. anyway#gwext#<- ontop of the amount of times that gwen like straight up hallucinates dead people or has episodes#im just. like hold my hand here she is a flawed person and not a hero#ideologically ghost-spider fits alot better into anti hero status#but even then like shes not#she's just her. at the end of the day she is gwen stacy before Anything else
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I feel like certain people on Tumblr have really been fighting for backwards progress when it comes to how we talk about mental illness and abuse. I see posts at least several times a week on my dash that seem to have the purpose of implying people with insert-mental-illness and/or insert-symptom are not abusive when they do insert-action-that-makes-people-uncomfortable, often times meaning to promote a more positive image of people with particularly stigmatized conditions, like personality disorders, mood disorders, psychosis, addiction, or neurodivergence. And I really really hate it because these posts almost always have the ultimate purpose of telling people not just "This thing is not inherently abusive," but often it comes across as "You were not abused."
I just find that to be really unhelpful and unintentionally hurtful, and for what? I believe that destigmatizing various mental conditions is a worthy cause, but at the same time this type of rhetoric seems to be so protective of people in whichever stigmatized group they're trying to advocate for, that it comes back around to a sort of respectability politics. Anybody can be an abuser. And someone's means and methods of abusing can very much be influenced by a condition they have. Why wouldn't it be? Their conditions will affect every aspect of their life and their interpersonal relationships. Especially if these issues are going untreated or being insufficiently managed. I don't understand why anyone would want to make it appear as if abusers are mostly neurotypical and mentally well people, or that if they aren't, then their conditions have nothing to do with it and the overlap is merely incidental. What? It makes it so hard for anyone who is a victim to come to terms and identify the dynamics of what they've gone through.
Addicts and mentally ill people don't have to be unproblematic in order to be humanized and accepted. And nobody profits from writing hard and fast rules about how abuse apparently works, drawing clear lines between which behaviors can, and cannot, ever be abuse.
#tales from diana#making unrebloggable bc i can't handle the discourse on this topic#my own experience with being abused and taken advantage of by someone who almost CERTAINLY had npd... just kinda breaks me#when i see this and it's like making it out to be 'everyone who says they suffered from narcissistic abuse is lying#or misunderstanding what narcissism is because ppl w npd would NEVER do this'#i can see that it's a highly stigmatized term and i don't want to act like an expert on what ppl w the condition go through#but i can tell you i felt deep sympathy for this man for a long time. i felt pity for all he'd gone through. but he'd just lay on the guilt#for every little thing i did that ever displeased him for any reason. he just degraded and disrespected me. and USED me#he used me for money for attention for CONSTANT attention oh my god#he wouldn't even let me go to sleep sometimes before 3 am. and he stole so much money from me#he put me in physical danger. he gossiped about me to all my friends when i was starting to distance myself#before i even came to terms with just how toxic he was to me.#and every time i just wanted to go somewhere wo him or even just stay at home by myself#it was about HIM. it was about how HE felt about it. he had ZERO sympathy for me and i handled all his emotional labor#this man couldn't even think for himself. he brought all his problems to me for me to sort through bc he was so inept and shallow#he was lazy he was careless he didn't listen to ppl he was casually rude#i didn't allow myself to accept these parts of him bc of all he suffered through i felt like he was just a sad little boy#who never learned manners or etiquette or. just. respect#basic respect. as much as i outlined what i wasn't ok w and what hurt me. it didn't matter to him#and NONE of these things are inherently the things that make me think he has npd#his actual suffering and the things i felt bad for him about were very real and severe#but i know what happened between us and i know he was abusive to me. the ppl writing these posts do not.#to say that someone has been abusive in an interpersonal relationship should be something we should be able to respect#and give ppl the benefit of the doubt. and victims may OFTEN not be well-informed about their own abusers' issues#but ppl can just know whether or not they were abused. regardless of if they fully grasp the why and how#if victims say something problematic or paint w a broad brush talking abt ppl who have something in common w their abuser#we should still correct that gently and kindly and not dismiss their experience outright#like i can't believe i have to say that. but i've seen some seriously upsetting posts on here recently.
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people will say any character who is nervous under reasonable circumstances at least twice has anxiety. which is absurd. anxiety is not just occasionally being nervous guys please. i love when characters have anxiety but please.
#in terms of actually decently written anxiety that i think is intended to be anxiety. alderpaw in book 1 of avos#his nervousness isnt just regular situations its absurd and he often jumps to conclusions and fears the worst#theres a bit when hes first becoming an apprentice where hes worried theres a test and hell fail#when he becomes a medicine cat he just assumes its because hes terrible at being a warrior and everyone hates him#which is really accurate to my experience with anxiety#the only bad part about it is that the anxiety vanishes as soon as its inconvienent and never comes up again#also snowfall from wof. like the entire opening of the dangerous gift reads like an anxiety attack#and her anxiety doesnt vanish like alders does#fun fact this post is about pomni from tadc#she doesnt have anxiety guys. shes just a woman in a mildly horrific situation having a reasonable reaction#BTW TO BE CLEAR. i do not speak for all kinds of anxiety. i have an anxiety disorder so characters i think are better rep are probably-#-ones that are closer to my experience#its probably different for others#but for me anxiety isnt something occasional its constant and it influences everything i do
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whew haha
#🗒#my mom is like 'ok it's set let's tell everyone' and im like 😭😭😭😭 !!!!!#are u sure!!!! are u sure it's set like ???? 😭😭😭#ughhhhhh after this much trust i will literally kill myself if i dont get ANY scholarship lmaooooo#but also like. is it set now!!!! really !!!!!!! is it !!!!!#(excited but horrified and anxious)#like. like like like........ like i mean#um........ for real now? like are we sure for sure ??#i honestly will be like 100% on my way to [redacted] and still be like haha. is it for real#are we sure . will this actually happen#that's. crazy man#i cant help but feel like im asking for too much again. ughhhhhhh#yes hello hi. this blog has been my main outlet for emotional breakdowns about the same subject for um#(checks notes) a few months now. truly is anyone else bored of this ? because im so over it#but also like. things just dont get clear !!!!!! ever !!!!!#how can i be sure how can anyone be sure that i will actually be going lmfaooooo#i hate this waiting period i hate it why cant i know if i got anything or nah. but please don't say nah#ughhhhhh . alright. whatever it's not like i care that much honestly -_-#(threatens to kill self every day a few times over this btw)#anyway um let's. be positive#it will go great tomorrow 🤩 they will want to give me money sooooo bad 😍#and i will receive an email this week 🤗 about the wait list thing for SURE 🥳#i am doing amazing dont worry guys. im sooooo chill rn#Sorry for the constant embarrassing personal posts lol
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you guys ever go to bsd twitter just to remember how good we have it here
#i dont use twitter but i have an account mostly for stealing bsd raws when new chapters are out#anyway went there bc i was reading a fic and the author linked their account#there wasnt anything crazy bad there btw but my brother in christ bsd tumblr is such a good place to hang out#'why is there such a pressure to not write characters ooc do you not want to see them in different scenarios' i dont think you know what ooc#means btw#yeah adjusting how a character acts tor the purpose of writing a story far removed for canon is great#exploring who they might be in this other universe in widły different circumstances is so so fun#but ignoring and misinterpreting them is such bizzare behaviour to me#esp that even when reading au’s you can just. still sort of feel that something is off#and im not talking abt someone trying and maybe to necessarily succeeding in makes everyone perfectly in character#but rather people who will go out of their way to make characters different and unrecognizable and claim it’s somehow better#do you even like these characters then? if you feel the constant need to pretend they’re are vastly different?#txt.#hi and welcome to post 15226 of me being pissy over something that’s objectively not a big deal
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