#my bad I’ll get better soon
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[ Hey guys.
Let’s clear one thing up within the first sentence here: Blog is not cancelled! Chribs is just at school doing school things!
Y’all know how it was last year. Unmediated ADD and school do not mix as I’m sure several of you are well aware. I am currently on fall break which is why I am able to post this at all! Soon though, I’m gonna have to get back on the grind and hit several more scholarship applications and several more lessons so I don’t completely explode during my college music audition. Fun stuff!
Thank you all for bearing with me. It still shocks me to see notifications when I’ve been inactive for so long, but leave it up to y’all to make me feel like the specialist orange motherfucker on the market.
More to come! I promise! Good luck on your respective school years, jobs, lives, whatever has you! See you when Jack Kennedy inevitably grabs me in a chokehold and forces me to draw him once more! ]
~ Mod Chribs, sipping a Redbull
#ive recently picked up reading manga as well which has introduced an entirely new autism in my head#currently reading Tokyo ghoul death note one punch man and mob psycho for those interested#I recommend all of them but stop reading Tokyo ghoul at book six and thank me later#those who know. I am sorry#sorry people who read tags you had to find out that Chribs is a huge loser this way…#my bad I’ll get better soon
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Honestly the cliche advice is true. If you fill your life w things you’re passionate about, if you challenge yourself every day, if you give your own opinion of yourself more weight than you do other people’s opinions of you, you will actually thrive. Like no one can tell u anything
#I’m just in a whole state of mind rn#there will always be ppl who try to bring u down but pursuing the things u love will help u rise above it.#I absolutely still get anxious / annoyed at things but I’m over it sm faster. and soon it won’t bother me at all.#or at least it’ll have a healthy duration. bc negative emotion isn’t always bad. negative emotion is important and we should not ignore it#but overall!! preserving my energy better. just need to work on my knee jerk responses & I’ll be set#text
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Been stressed over finals! So as a break and as a way to calm myself I drew Shen Qingqiu (Jiu)!
#drivebypainter art#digital art#my art#art#fanart#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen jiu#shen qingqiu#I really gotta practice drawing men#I like drawing women too much#it makes all my men drawings look like women#LMAO my bad friends#I’ll get better at it soon#also over the course of this I realized how well Never Love an Anchor by The Cran Wives fits Shen Jiu and Yue Qingyuan so well
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Thinking about them…
#Dungeon meshi#laios touden#touden family#Toudad and momden#The laifam. The touuu… tou… toudamily? Help idk#Laios holding onto his dad like that after a near death experience after he ran away from his warnings gets to me so bad.#Dad does care dad was so worried and he WOULD stick with u thick and thin he just thinks about ur sake#w momden i also almost put the exorcising Falin thing instead but that wasn’t Laios centric enough#I’ve been writing a laios pov family angst fic lately i’ll be posting it real soon#Gonna be called Push the deciduous out of my gums you’ll know it when u see it#Sigh. Isn’t it neat how the Toudens are scandinavians but Toudad has an interest in myths so he gave his dogs and Laios greek names#That “he never told me anything” panel is prob my fave touden family moment like god what good framing what good hollowness in the delivery#Momden having debilitating anxiety but caring so so much and being overprotective and overdoing it my beloved. Peeking in on them eating#Dad too busy and mom too bedridden to share meals :(#Is the mama reading book pic very tiny and blurry? Yes. Do I have a better resolution of it? No#Could that be a servant peeking in and not their mom? Yes. Do I believe so? No
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Yay my new friend hobie <33
#watched the movie yesterday finally <333#this is. my first time drawing him and I did this in half an hour and I don’t typically draw Crazily but now I did and I Get It#like. genuinely for half an hour this ain’t bad eh?#gotta learn how to draw wicks properly though which. hmmm I need to find a good tutorial#anyway. I’ll draw him better soon <33#across the spiderverse#hobie brown#spider punk#atsv fanart
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I’m sorry I haven’t been very active lately, the hormones have been a bitch and I am just. so tired. Hitting the point in the semester where I’m feeling a little choked with some bigger assignments coming up so I’m getting overwhelmed with the thought of trying to get ahead of all of it so I can at least have on weekend to play Veilguard (but even then I know I’ll have to deal with that bs naggy little voice in the back of my head that always guilt trips me for doing nonproductive things when I could be doing other stuff—maybe I’ll take breaks by swapping laundry and dishes loads or cooking or smth, that might help). Anyway yeah I feel like shit but we keep on trucking as always👍🏻🥲
#fortunately most of what I have to do this week is reading#but if I want to get ahead it’ll be quite a chunk of assignment stuff for this weekend#and I never know if my brain will be in the mood to cooperate with me or not#like I got most stuff done this Friday but after that? I didn’t get jack shit done#I’ve had brain fog the last two days and it was particularly bad today#I’m having one of my weirder periods atm so that probably has a hand in it#but hey! at least I finally got my laundry put up after three weeks before I went to bed#I might try to cook some this week too bc that usually makes me feel a little better#I thought about cleaning my room today but that didn’t happen#but it needs to soon before winter hits or else I’ll go stir crazy#anyways I’ll hush#*blows kisses*#fisara’s scrawlings
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#sorry for posting so much today omg but i feel like i owe it to you people#work has just been CRAZY and i’m still in one piece hell so…..#but things in life are getting better!! i’ve kinda been going thru it i wont lie#i hope to update tpg sometime late this month or early next month. sorry my break has been so much longer than anticipated#i didn’t realize how bad the burnout was BUT i’ll be back to the story soon with a renewed fire & some#ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED new ideas and plans#it’ll be worth the wait i swear#in the meantime if we’re mutuals/friends feel free to ask for my pers IG#i’ll try to be online more too!!#thanks ily alllll<3333
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i feel so relaxed and happy and in love with my life knowing today was a reset day. i did my homework, took ample breaks, prayed, oiled my hair, took a warm shower, shaved, washed my hair, and am about to study some more before bed. when did i miss out on life being so simple and beautiful?
#going to start this week fresh and happy#hopefully sleep at a decent time#i’ve got 3 tests this week - 2 that i missed n need to catch up on#but i’m not going to procrastinate this time#i’m going to allocate my time properly and study and get them done#and next week i’ll do that with my other class#and the week after i’ll do it with the third#i’m going to actually attend class and pay attention and do the homework questions#read books and listen to good music#pray a lot and be grateful for what i have#i’m so thankful for everything#i thought life would never feel like this again#but it’s nice to know that giving up is temporary#life really does and will get better#it might get bad again#but it’ll always get better again#꒰ soon you'll get better. ꒱
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My chiro: You should ice your back for 20 minutes before you go to sleep tonight :)
Me: Yeah okay that’s probably a good idea!! I have been having really bad flare ups all week
Me now: Bad idea BAD idea this is so fucking COLD 🥶
#ALSO IDK if I’m even doing it right LMAO#I should have asked him for specifics#I’m laying on my back with the ice under me#But maybe I should be lying on my stomach and just have the ice sitting on my back??#IDK. I REALLY DON’T#Anyway I tried direct skin contact and bailed after like 20 seconds#I have my shirt as a barrier now. But it’s still cold#EVEN SO!! Hopefully it will help with the tenderness and swelling in my spine#Fucking sciatica man. Shakes my fists#Shima speaks#For realsies tho I’ve been in SO much pain this week I’m desperate. I’ll do just about anything to make it better#I even broke out my emergency Percocet Super Pain Killers 😬#I needed em. Bad#I’m still waiting to hear back about getting an MRI soon so??#But I know it’ll be absolutely butt fucking expensive. UGH#Maybe I should just walk into traffic. Then they’ll HAVE to fix me#Anyway I’m counting down the minutes. 20 minutes he said I can do that…I can do that…
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flippin boobahs!
#weezer#rivers cuomo#brian bell#patrick wilson#scott shriner#OKAH HI CHAT#i’ve been thinking#this tag will be just a rant not really weezer related#yk laufey ?#i was listening to her song ‘letter to my 13 year old self’ and just started overthinking about myself when i was younger#i just think about my younger self and get so sad thinking about her; i wish i could’ve done more for her#i was a huge introvert and talking to anybody made me super super anxious; so much so that my teacher noticed and had me join a ‘social#emotional learning’ group where we spoke about low self esteem and how to raise it and everything like that#i only left it in 8th grade because i didn’t wanna keep missing class for it; but it made me so sad to think i thought so low of myself#i would wear hoodies all the time and jeans because i used to hate my body a lot#which is awful to do in socal heat!#i think it started because in my family i was always stereotyped as the fat one; yk how mexican families are? they called me gordita for#the longest time; which made me incredibly insecure and only in 10th grade did i start showing my arms 😭 IK ITS DUMB BUT ITS SO WEIRD#i still can’t do it entirely; i’ll wear shrugs and things like that because i still am insecure about my arms sometimes but ive been better#i only really had one friend but she had a different lunch; so i was alone for most of the time on the swings by myself or sitting at the#lunch tables alone waiting for lunch to end and this noon duty came to me a lot and would talk to me since she felt bad i was always alone#while everybody else played with each other ; and i don’t know why i just broke down thinking about how lonely i was at the time#i’d go to the school’s friendship room everyday after that because it was just a teacher who let kids come inside her room to play games if#they didn’t wanna be in the heat and soon i became friends w the teacher and she’d play uno with me everyday; mainly because the room was#relatively empty until they got loom bands! and i was an expert on loom bracelets so i would help others make them and that was a confidenc#e boost; i remember being proud of myself for socializing like that LOL#i just get sad thinking about that time; i like to think that if little Lyss saw me; she would be so proud because i have friends;#a boyfriend ; good grades ; and i’m well liked and regarded. i hope she’s proud of my progress socially because it was such a leap#i wish i could go back in time and tell her how much better things get and how she won’t be lonely forever#…and to not online date. definetly don’t do that one.
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several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold
#Seven.txt#writing stuff#thinking of that post that’s like ‘u Have To make art or all the ideas stay stuck in ur brain and make u sick’ bc yeah thats been the vibe#wish i wasn’t so all or nothing about it tho. but alas. i’m that way with everything in my life#i either expect 10k in a day from myself or i don’t write at all for weeks. or months :)#and my average pace is about 500 words per hour. so u can see. how that might be a problem. given how many hours are in a day.#and that’s obviously not sustainable. but idk if it’s adhd or what but it’s So hard to quickly start and stop tasks just Whenever#i struggle to be one of those ppl that can consistently write like. 500 words a day every day and then wow! soon you have a whole novel#nah. once i get myself in the Zone then i’m Goin’ and i can’t stop until i’m Done or i collapse from ignoring my body’s needs lmao#it’s something i should make an effort to do though bc i’d love to be consistently chipping away at things instead of working in bursts#anyways this is a lotta negative self-commentary for what is actually a Positive post! bc yay!! i wrote a thing!! Two things actually!!! 🎉#i got the follow-up to last year’s Matt oneshot done And i wrote the next chapter of Heaven in Hiding after uh. a year and some months#i wanted to blow the dust off the ol’ keyboard by starting with writing some less. uh. high-stakes(?) stuff#not that i didn’t put my all into writing them. i always do. just that ik they’ll have less of an audience so ill cringe less if they suck#so then i can hopefully do justice to the [N]MbD stuff that i’ll be putting out next! ehehe *rubbing my hands together* Finally#the next two [N]MbD fics r already written but the first little one needs a final edit#and then the Big one for. uh. someone (u kno who u r) needs a bit of rewriting i think. i wanna make it Better#so release schedule will be 1. Matt • 2. HiH Ch.3 • 3. [N]MbD small fic • 4. [N]MbD Big fic#then i’m gonna write a lil Boothill comfort oneshot. then i’ll edit/maybe rewrite and post that Dew (Ghost) OCD comfort oneshot#i also wanna keep writing the last couple chapters of HiH before i unintentionally abandon it again#and after/amidst all that maybe i’ll manage to get ES Ch.6 written and posted before the end of the year 😭#anyways ik i’ve made posts like this before. talking abt all these Plans of mine. and most of those things r Still stuck in the pipeline#so don’t put too much stock into this plan. i could have another Bad couple of months and get None of it done#but god i sure fucking hope not. i’d really like to cling to my creativity. if for no other reason than that it makes me happy
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getting albedo instead of arle is such a bad idea, since i have so good weapon for him whatsoever, but why is it so tempting
#┊glimpse into the crystal ball ೃ༄#i know one of them will rerun soon#the other… we’re lucky if we see him again at all /lh#but i missed both events for festering desire and cinnabar spindle#i don’t have the battle pass weapon#and no 5* sword that fits him#guess that leaves… harbinger of dawn#as i said… bad decision but tempting nonetheless#(read: idk what to do)#on the other hand what if i blow my entire funds here#i need to get shenhe or furina or i’ll die#but i have no idea whatsoever when hoyo will release them from their jail#i think hoyo is really damaging a super interesting character they have by#a) only digging bedo out for events#and b) making him not very f2p friendly except if you played the events#if i had a better weapon i might have pulled already#but as things are he is a want not a need yk
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SCREAMING
#I know the quality is bad I’ll get a better pic soon I promise#plus I’ll be transcribing it soon enough#I was shaking I was so excited lol#it didn’t come with the posters unfortunately but I know I shouldn’t be too upset#my heart foundation spotlight came with the posters so I’m just happy for those!
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Surgery Recovery Update
Day 6
I am unable to open my mouth wide enough to eat anything. It is getting easier to talk, still painful, but I can’t eat anything because of how swollen my throat and jaw are.
8 more days 🙏 and I can finally eat bacon and cheeseburgers again
#surgery recovery#tonsillectomy#personal vent#i literally haven’t eaten today because I can barely open my mouth enough to drink water#good news— scabs should be falling off soon and then I’ll start getting better#bad news— I want to eat something but physically can’t
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Hey, just saw your last post; sorry things have been rough. You are appreciated and found special and you're treasured by me and I'm sure lots of people. Hope you feel better or and things get better for you. It made glade to see a post from you, but no worries if you need to take time away either. Sending love and peace and health your way.
THANK YOU, YOU SWEET BEAN!!! 🧡🧡🧡
#It’s not so bad- just not the job I thought I was getting into#Which … seems to happen a lot with my job prospects jdhdhdh#I’ll find something else that’s a better fit for me eventually#I hope you’re doing well too! And if not- that things ease up on you soon 🧡
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