#my ass is cooking a roast too

[original-punks]

it's so muggy I wanna die

[shima-draws]

Really wish I could fight the schmuck who invented allergies with my bare hands

[teaboot]

One of the best parts about working at a sex shop is the employee discount, and yeah that means excellent deals on sex supplies but that's not the big brain part.

You come to my house. Something is cooking in the kitchen- it smells wonderful. What is it? It's novelty dick-shaped pasta. I've set up a sensual sexy Italian dinner. There are candles set up on the table. They're melting too fast, dripping everywhere- they're low temp waxplay pillar candles. For dessert, I serve you a delicious ice cream topped in penis-shaped rainbow confetti sprinkles and strawberry body paint drizzle, and afterwards, serve coffee with roasted hazelnut warming lube.

We play a board game while we drink. It's sexy monopoly. It's your turn. You roll the dice. They come up as 'whisper into' and 'butt'. I lost the original dice. We're using the sexy dice. You move four spaces.

After dinner, I run you a bath. A bubble bath. The bubble gel? Sensual ocean breeze. There are candles lined up around the tub. The scent is overpowering. Why? They're three-in-one fruit flavored massage oil candles. I'm using so much. It's so wasteful. Do you want to shave? I have conditioning shave cream that smells like limes. And an electric body razor, but you can't use that in the tub.

How about a bath bomb? You toss one in. It's cherry blossom scented. As it dissolves, three sexy bath sex suggestion cards fall out. They're all variations on doggy style, probably because fucking in a bathtub is probably the easiest way to break your hip.

The water cools. You get out an dry off with a novelty towel. If you wrap it around your chest, it looks like you have gigantic tatas bursting through the fabric like the Hulk.

You walk into the bedroom. I'm there, reading an instructional book titled "The Housewife's Guide To Every Day Stripping". I'm wearing a neck pillow designed to look like a massive curved weiner. Also a pair of fake leather bondage leggings and an oversized men's christmas T-shirt that says "Jingle My Bells" across the front.

I see you come in. I put down the book, take off the pillow. Offer you a massage. You accept. I already burned up all the massage candles so I pop a new bottle of CBD massage oil that says something wrong about Chakras on it. It's very gritty. That's because there's little chunks of amethyst in it for some fucking reason. It's fine, though. You say you don't mind.

I don't do massages very often. It's bad. You end up more tense than before. One of your muscles starts to cramp- it's okay. I whip out a bottle of Lidocane topical masculine performance numbing spray. You immediately feel like your shoulder went to the dentist. It's not ideal, but it's better than cramping.

You're not in the mood to bone after that. Which is good, cause I'm actually pretty asexual, but it hasn't come up yet so I'm relieved to avoid the conversation. Instead we get ready for bed. (The weather is terrible, and I insist you stay over.) I set up the futon, then realize it smells like cigarettes from the previous owner and shyly ask if you wanna cuddle in my room. You're down.

I crawl under the covers, placing my penis-shaped pink glitter pride bottle on the side table in case one of us wakes up thirsty. Once you're settled in, I turn off the glowing bare ass night light and the room goes black.

It takes a few seconds for your eyes to adjust, but when they do, you look up at the ceiling. It's dotted all over with little green flourescent lights. Are they plastic stars? No. I've pinned up a thousand glow in the dark condoms. God bless

[froggibus]

Camping Headcanons - Batboys + Wally West

Includes: Dick Grayson x gn! reader, Jason Todd x gn! reader, Tim Drake x gn! reader, Wally West x gn! reader

Genre: fluff, mild crack

Summary: spend a weekend away from the city camping with your boyfriend

CW: batboys have peak survival skills, Wally is very Wally, lots of classic camping fun

this is part of my Summer Suntacular event, come check it out!

Dick Grayson:

prefers to camp somewhere off the grid

loves traditional camping and is not at all opposed to just…sleeping on the floor of a tent

can almost definitely set up a tent in two seconds flat—even the jumbo ones that are supposed to take two people to set up

definitely helps that he’s flexible 

if there was a medal for best at camping, he’d probably win it

it's almost annoying how on point his survival instincts are

he can spearfish and does it just to show off

can cook pretty much anything over a fire but if it were up to him he’d just eat soup, burgers & hotdogs the whole weekend

packs 12 pairs of underwear for a weekend of camping

also has insane packing skills, like he could pack 2 weeks worth of supplies in one backpack

even if its not sunny, he WILL somehow tan just from being outside

Jason Todd:

also likes camping off the grid

unlike Dick, he probably prefers sleeping in a trailer or a cabin if he can help it

It’s not that he’s against sleeping in a tent or anything 

but he’s spent so much time sleeping on the hard ground/freezing his ass off that if he can afford the extra comfort, he’ll spring for it

so much more relaxed when you’re camping—it’s almost like he’s a different person

brings about a dozen books to read for like, three days of camping

if you weren’t with him he’d probably read them all too

even if you’re staying in a place with a stove, he INSISTS on cooking stuff over the campfire

a really good campfire cook too—he’ll make you some insane salmon & the most golden toasty s'mores for dessert

dork ass loves telling you scary ghost stories with a flashlight under his chin and everything

all so that you’ll cuddle closer to him that night

lets you wear his comfy clothes and his jacket if it’s cold outside and claims he ‘doesn’t get cold’

Tim Drake:

hard to convince him to leave Gotham for the weekend (mr weight-of-the-world-on-his-shoulders)

threaten to go camping by yourself and suddenly he’ll never leave your side

only camped at fancy resorts/nice cabins before Bruce

really enjoys being off the grid and being self sustaining though

loves those “cooking in nature” tiktoks and probably wants to try them for himself

doesn’t care where he sleeps as long as it has walls—but for you, he’ll get the warmest, comfiest tent or cabin possible

is weirdly prepared for almost any situation AND knows all of your cravings before you even have them

“I really wish we had strawberry marshmallows to make smores with”

“check my green backpack”

brings lots of different card games and WILL beat you at all of them before the trip is over

bring your own secret deck of Uno and watch him have a meltdown wondering how you could possibly have so many +4s

somehow knows exactly what went down with everyone while you were away

Wally West:

he’s like a kid again (as if he ever grew up let’s be fr) 

already has muscle pains from running around so much so at the very least he’s getting the comfiest air mattress ever

but most likely he’ll want to stay in a cozy cabin way off the grid 

with him, no campsite is too far or too remote

cannot cook for shit but will grill you the best burgers and hot dogs ever 

cannot roast s’mores for shit either 

they WILL catch fire and be completely crispy 

offer him one of yours PLEASE

“nah babe, I just really like them like this” 

liar. 

loves loves LOVES campfire cuddles and uses every reason under the sun to cozy up with you

tries to tell scary stories (that he stole from Dick who stole them from Bruce) but ends up freaking both of you out

has to do at least one (1) vigorous activity every day or he’ll be bouncing off the walls all night

has a secret never ending stash of candy on him & shares them with you

packs exactly two pairs of underwear for the entire weekend & is completely unprepared 

however if you forget or need anything else it is a CRIME and he will go get it for you 

manages to stretch a three day camping trip into a week

Summer Suntacular | Masterlist | DC Masterlist

(if you enjoy content like this, interactions go a long way! comments, likes & rbs are always greatly appreciated ^-^ !!)

[nmakii]

ONLY BOUGHT THIS DRESS SO YOU COULD TAKE IT OFF

— alastor + vox + adam’s fashion preferences on their significant other. gn!

— alastor

alastor finds anything that compliments your figure to be gorgeous. he can’t be upset when you’re confident in yourself.

though, if you’re really asking, he can’t be dishonest, can he? he adores formal wear. cocktail dresses, suits, waistcoats, gowns, the way they hold a certain elegance is something that just can’t be matched.

the way they hug your waist is simply too attractive, all he wants to do is eat you up. a beautiful sight like you would most definitely be a feast. not that he was thinking of eating you!

true, it’s not the most practical of clothes to be worn on the daily— but, it’s still a delectable treat once in a while.

“sweetheart, are you ready?” alastor asks, knocking on the door. “we must hurry, the opera waits for no one!” he laughs as he opens the door. and when he does, he is pleasantly surprised to see the outfit you’ve chosen for tonight.

the way formal wear compels you to carry yourself with poise and confidence is something that simply makes you all the more attractive to him.

“my, my! look what the cat dragged in!” alastor joked. “you look ravishing, dear. are you ready?” he asked. he walked over to you as he took hold of your hips, running his claws up and down the fabric and silently admiring your figure.

“mhm!” you nodded. “lovely.” he grins, holding his cane in one hand, and wrapping his arm tightly around your waist in the other.

as you walked, there was something off about alastor. he truly did hide it well, but there was definitely something bothering him.

his breath, quiet as ever, was heavy and reeking of desire. and, his body temperature was off the charts, as if he had been running a fever.

“alastor, are you alright?” you looked to your side. “of course, i am! simply excited for the show, that’s all!” alastor said, clearing his throat. “really? you’re kind of burning up, and you’re breathing heavily…” you noted.

alastor fell silent, choosing the best way to respond. “i’d suggest you not ask that, love.” he warned. “any further, and i may just eat you up!” he grinned as he left a kiss on your cheek, tightening his grip on you.

“oh? should i hold you to that promise?” you teased back at him. “hmph, don’t test your luck.” he shook his head in perplexity. “tell me, would you like to be cooked slow-roasted or braised?” alastor asked, to your shock.

alastor clearly enjoyed your reaction, laughing quite loudly. “wh— i’d like to not be cooked at all!” you frowned. “hmm… fine. only because you’re so sweet.” he shrugged in surrender.

— vox

vox loves everything elegant. whether it be a flowing dress, or a well-fitted suit, it gets him hungry. hungry for you, that is.

the way they accentuate every little curve and muscle is just so appealing to him, he just can’t help his hands to himself!

elegance simply compliments your body so sweetly, he wants to show off his little treat from heaven to everyone who’ll listen. this may or may not be the reason he brings you to every event.

“do i really have to go to this?” you frown as you lounge on your bed, waiting for vox to get ready. “‘course you do. you’re mine, and i have to show you off.” he grinned, straightening his bowtie as the finishing touch.

“come on. everyone’s awaiting our appearance.” he said, coercing you and pulling you up from bed with both arms. “urgh, fine…” you groaned, finally getting up.

vox rested his hands on your shoulder and hip respectively, taking in the sweet sights. “christ, you look sexy as hell…” vox sighed out, biting the side of his bottom lip.

“you know… i wouldn’t mind so much if we… missed tonight, and had some fun..?” he raised an eyebrow, looking you up and down. “pssh, after i already got ready? no thanks.” you teased “maybe tonight instead if you want me so bad.” you rolled your eyes at him.

vox frowned at your rejection. “fine, that might just bite you in the ass later.” he threatened, playfully slapping your behind, and pulling you along by the waist.

— adam

adam loves anything that shows your skin. short skirts, crop tops, tight denim jeans, no sleeves. anything that brings attention to your assets, it’s all super sexy to him.

the fact that you’re confident enough in yourself to wear such tight-fitting clothes is so downright hot, it might just encourage him to do some… sinful acts, to say the least.

still, adam is quite possessive when it comes to you. as much as he loves you in revealing outfits, these are for his eyes only. no one else gets to see this but him.

that still doesn’t stop him from having you perform a little show for him. for his eyes exclusively.

“holy shit… you look so fuckin’ hot, babe!” adam let out, sucking in his breath as he pulls you into his lap. “do i really have to wear this..? it’s kind of uncomfortable, adam…” you pouted.

“oh, don’t worry, baby.” he comforted you, petting your hair gently. “soon enough you’ll be taking it off anyway.” he said with a cocky grin, proud of such a dirty line.

“pssh, don’t say something like that. that’s just inappropriate.” you rolled your eyes at him. “heyy… but, don’t you like it? you can’t deny that, can you, angel?” he grinned.

and, as you glared incredulously at him, he started moving his hands. his grabby hands began moving anywhere that was left exposed— your arms, thighs, and waist. his fingers traced every vein, curve, and muscle, giving you a sneak peak of what he could do.

“come on, babe…” he said, coercing you further. “you know i could show you a good time.” he grinned.

adam could feel you growing weak under his touch, encouraging him further. he started to leave open-mouthed kisses all over your collarbones.

“just let me show you a good time…” he said, running a hand over your thighs.

“…fine.”

[theclassiccherry]

class 2-a misc. headcanons

hey, I'm cherry. welcome. recs are open if you're interested. much love, drink some water, and take care babe. (also, a lot of this turned into their music tastes, so??)

tw: language, but that’s expected w me

====

-Todoroki and Momo are both well traveled, having been to multiple countries, and at one point or another becomes something the two share about with one another.

-Deku absolutely had a fnaf phase.

-It's canon Bakugou likes romance novels; however, sharks I present to you: Bakugou watches Bridgerton. Send tweet.

-Mina has a fake and has used it to buy alcohol; however, this doesn't work so well after the sports festival after she's disclosed as a first year.

-I saw someone posted that Bakugou is a Kendrick Lamar fan, so whoever originally posted that, full credit to you (if you know, please comment and I'll tag them) -- I'd like to add he's a Future, Metro, 21 Savage, and The Weeknd fan as well, and you bet your ass he's training to The Hills, 10 Freaky Girls, and Mask Off.

-Bakugou has a skin care routine.

-Kirishima knows 'Unwritten' by Natasha Bedingfield by heart. If it gets played, he gets into that shit.

-There's a speaker system in Gym Gamma, and everyone takes turns on aux whenever there's a class practice. Songs that get played most are as follows:

Surround Sound by JID, 21 Savage, and Baby Tate

Without Me by Eminem

Literally anything that's by Rihanna, Pitbull, Nicki Minaj, Cardi B, or Blackpink

m.A.A.d city by Kendrick Lamar

10 Freaky Girls by 21 Savage and Metro Boomin

Not Like Us by Kendrick Lamar

(idk I feel like rap goes hard when you're training to kick ass, yk)

Livin' on a Prayer by Bon Jovi (one of kiri's favorite songs)

yk Smooth Operator by Sade too 😭

-After the drake disses, no one is allowed to play drake, it gets vetoed almost immediately. however when not like us comes on, everyone holds the 'A MINORRR' and it's fucking gold

-Bakugou, Mina, Jirou, and Kirishima are primarily in control of the music cause the class tends to like whatever they play, but if enough people yell skip, the song gets vetoed.

-Deku could roast the shit out of someone if he chose to, like if you put him in Wild'n'Out he'd gut bitches, he's just too nice and keeps his mouth shut 99.9% of the time. Considering he knows so much about people, their habits, and quirks, he's also unintentionally got dirt on people. All of saying is, Deku could 1000% pull a Kendrick Lamar and end someone's career if he just decided to.

-Inko Midoriya brings food over to the class dorms for those who choose to remain in the dorms. She's the emergency contact for like, half of the class, and is essentially everyone's mom. If something's wrong, Momma Midoriya is already in the mom van and on the way.

-Mitsuki is a wine mom. Tell me I'm wrong. I'll wait.

-Kirishima has like, 50 flavors of protein powder. it's all stacked neatly on a shelf in his dorm.

-Kaminari has been banned from the kitchen, he's too much of a liability once he starts 'cooking'.

-Sato keeps a cookie jar, and bakes fresh cookies every couple days - it lives in the kitchen off to the side. He's also just really laid back, and if you're on your cycle and have a specific pastry you're craving, if you ask, he'll make it for you fresh if he has the time.

-Kirishima is a hugger and if you've had a bad day, and need a hug, just hug him. He'll sit there and hold you as long as you need, stating it's, "manly to hug it out!"

-Deku also gives amazing hugs, but is too shy to do so with people he's not close with.

-Mina and Hagakure host dance parties every Friday night for the girlies. No boys are allowed, but Aoyama is invited because he's fabulous.

-Bakugou, Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero play Fortnite and COD together. Kirishima called them the 'Baku-squad' once and that's when that term was first coined by the group (in my headcanons). Bakugou secretly likes that it's named after him.

-Deku, Tsu, Uraraka, Todoroki and Ilda have a Minecraft server together. Deku built a massive All Might and proceeded to live in it, Tsu has a hut by the mangroves, Uraraka lives in the cherry biome, and then Todoroki and Ilda have this really organized massive house in a spruce forrest. When everyone saw it for the first time, they all went, "holy shit...". Lest to say it soon becomes the HQ of the server when they suit up for the ender dragon fight.

-Speaking of Minecraft, Deku builds the most elaborate red stone you've ever seen, but cannot explain how and what he built to save his life. He also owns all of the Minecraft books that came out in like, 2016.

-Aizawa lives on Melatonin gummies, black coffee, and shear force of will. I also feel like at one point in his early 20s he smoked cigarettes then quit.

-Sero's hammock is something he keeps as a privilege after Bakugou broke it.

-Bakugou just happens to 'make too much' food and happens to make sure his friends have eaten properly.

-Present Mic is a die hard Mitsuki fan.

-Aizawa genuinely loves his students and does little things for them. Like at graduation, there's a small note from him to each student in their diplomas for them to find later. It's personalized for each of them, but he gives his personal contact to all in case they ever need anything (he would drop everything and help but he won't say that out loud).

-If Bakugou or Midoriya ever got ahold of Thor's hammer, they'd both be worthy. Bakugou more-so at the end of the series than the beginning. Kirishima could also lift it depending on the situation.

-Mineta's been sent to detention multiple times for looking up things he should NOT be googling on the school WiFi. Aizawa is really sick of his shit, he refuses to even look at the links anymore cause it's bad, and so he just lectures him like a hopeless parent and then gives the Chromebook back lmao

-Aizawa uses his body wash as face wash and has flawless skin.

-If Denki was a vine, he’d be the *calling roll call* “Uh, Shithead?” “It’s pronounced shi-thead”

copyright © @theclassiccherry

[gingiesworld]

Obsessions

Wanda Maximoff x Nerdy Rogers Fem Reader

Warnings: Angst. Mean Wanda. Internalised homophobia. Homophopia.

AN: I have decided this is going to have another part during the college years. I hope you guys enjoyed this and please feel free to let me know your thoughts as it is my first proper wanda x fem reader.

Taglist: @sytoran @ginnsbaker @gb12d @lifespectator

Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6

18+ MINORS DNI

Everyday was the same for Y/N after she was outed after someone had spread around that Y/N was spotted making out with Carol Danvers. Of course it was Wanda who had spotted the two, especially since she had an unhealthy obsession with Y/N.

Wherever Y/N was, Wanda's eyes followed her, watching her every move. Although she had help of the jocks. Jarvis and Tony were always there to push Y/N into her locker, knock her books from her hands, all the while Wanda watched with a smile on her face.

Although, when they had went too far by slashing one of the tires on her car. Y/N had lost it. Heading straight for the two, throwing punches here and there. Although she was scrawny, she had some power behind her that knocked Tony Stark on his ass.

Wanda watched the entire scene with her lip between her teeth, but she could have murdered her brother. Always the hero he was as he helped Y/N replace the wheel.

"Why did you help that freak?" Wanda askes him when he got in the car.

"Because she needed it." He told her sternly. "And tell your boyfriend and his brother to leave her alone." Wanda just scoffed as she shook her head no as he started the journey home.

"We're seniors Wanda." He scolded her. "Don't you think that this is all a little childish. Bullying Y/N just because of her sexuality."

"Just shut up." Wanda told him. "You do what you want in school and I'll do what I want. Just stay out of my way." Once they had returned home, Wanda exited the car and headed straight to her room, closing the door behind her.

As she heard the sound of another car, she instantly looked out of the window and watched as Y/N got out of her 67' Impala. Watching as Y/N headed inside, her bag on her shoulder.

"How was your day sweetie?" Peggy asked as Y/N entered the kitchen to get a bottle of water.

"Ok." She told her as she turned to her mom. "Are you doing Roast Beef?" She questioned as Peggy nodded with a smile.

"I know it's your's and your father's favourite and I just felt like cooking it." Peggy told her with a smile as she put the chopped vegetables in the pan on the stove. "So tell me, what happened today?" She questioned sternly as Y/N sighed.

"The usual and more." Y/N told her. "I have to get a new tire because the Starks decided to slaah my back left."

"Do you want me to talk to Howard or Maria?" She asked as Y/N just shook her head no.

"I." Before she could finish, the phone had started ringing. Peggy gave her an apologetic look before she answered it. Y/N watched as Peggy spoke to whoever it was, and she could see her mom getting worked up.

"You beat them up." She stated as she looked at Y/N with disappointment.

"They deserved it Mom." Y/N defended as Peggy sighed.

"You don't resort to violence!" She scolded as Y/N just scoffed.

"I worked hard on that car. Dad and I worked hard on that car and if he was here he would be on my side." Y/N yelled.

"But he isn't here is he?!" She yelled back. "Because he is dead!!!" She took a deep breath before looking at her with tears in her eyes. "I know you miss him. I do too but he wouldn't want you to resort to violence either."

"I'm going to bed." Y/N told her. "I'm tired."

"What about dinner?" Peggy asked as Y/N just shrugged, heading upstairs to her room. Closing her door as she let the tears fall, sitting on her bed as she covered her face with her hands.

She knew she was hard on her mom, but she hasn't had to deal with everything Y/N has to deal with. The homophobic slurs that get directed at her as she walks through the halls. All of the girls had basically pushed her out of the changing rooms once they had found out, resulting in her opting to change in the nearest bathroom. Just being herself has become a nightmare, especially when everyone frowns upon her sexuality.

Y/N's room was covered in her works, her comic hero designs and other art pieces that she has a lot of pride in. Something she had wanted to do was become an Illustrator, ever since she read her first comic. It was an XMEN comic and she fell in love with it. So she opted to try and make her own, hoping one day she will be as popular as Stan Lee himself.

She also had her favourite records on shelves, the turntable on the chest of drawers as she picked out her Tracy Chapman record. Sighing as she listened to Crossroads, one of her favourite songs as she lay back on her bed.

"What is with you giving Y/N a hard time?" Pietro asked his sister as she entered the kitchen.

"It's fun." She shrugged as she grabbed a can of soda.

"Is it because she is confident enough to be herself and doesn't care what everyone thinks of her." He stated. "Or is it because you're jealous that she has embraced who she is and you're just a scared little girl who hides behind her boyfriend." With that Wanda just scoffed and pushed passed him, although Pietro decided to tell his parents that he was heading over to Y/N's.

"Hi Mrs Rogers, is Y/N here?" He asked her politely as she just nodded to the garage. He thanked her before he headed to the open door. "Y/N, hey." He smiled at her as he approached the car.

"Hi." She spoke quietly as she was concentrating on doing a check up on the engine. "I'm just changing the oil."

"This is a really nice car." Pietro smiled as he admired the body work.

"It is." She smiled at him. "My dad and I rebuilt it a few years ago." She told him as she wiped her hands as she looked over the car. "It was his idea when I was in middle school, he thought it would bea father daughter project."

"I know I am probably late but I'm sorry to hear about him." He told her with a smile.

"Thanks." She smiled at him. "So, why are you here?" She asked him as he smiled.

"I figured we could hang out." He told her as she smiled.

"Sure." She nodded unsurely. "What did you have in mind?" She asked him.

"Well, I figured we could have some food and maybe play a game." He told her. "I've got the new Harry Potter game and I have been dying to play it."

"Just let me get cleaned up." She told him as she disappeared inside. "I'm just going to hang out with Pietro mom." She told Peggy as she disappeared upstairs to get clean.

She was nervous as she followed Pietro into his home, heading straight to his room just as Wanda came out with a teasing grin on her face.

"So you're going to try and turn the dyke straight?" She teased the two as Pietro turned to her, anger evident on his face.

"Shut the fuck up Wanda!" Y/N told her, surprising the two of them. "I am gay and I don't give a fuck what you or anyone thinks." She turned to Pietro who gave her a proud smile. "I have an Xbox at home if you want to play there? I just don't want to be near someone as small minded as your sister."

"Sure, let me grab the game." He told her with a proud smile. Wanda just scoffed as she turned back into her room, slamming the door.

As Y/N and Pietro played the game, he turned to Y/N with a sad smile.

"What happened between you and Wanda?" He questioned as Y/N shrugged. "You used to be best friends when we were kids. Inseparable even."

"I don't know." Y/N told him honestly. "I remember the very first day of high school. We both promised that we would always hang out before school started but she joined the cheerleading squad and well I was me. The nerd with the glasses." She turned to face him. "I guess we drifted apart and well, she hates me now." She turned away, looking back at the screen. "I guess our friendship never meant that much to her as it did to me."

That was the start of a strong friendship between the two, Pietro walked with Y/N to class, always talking about their plans. The Starks had kept their distance from her as Wanda watched the two from afar.

She had been obsessed with Y/N, especially since the two of them had stopped hanging out. She was under pressure from the popular girls so she become just like them, bullying and making fun of anyone she could.

But the moment she saw Y/N kissing Carol behind the school hall, her heart dropped. She knew that she had feelings for her but she was afraid of what others would think about her sexuality so she spread the picture around the school. Because Carol was on the soccer team, everyone turned to bully Y/N who just took everything that was threw her way.

But the jealousy she was feeling as she saw her brother have the friend who she had had for years before.

"So, what are your plans after graduation?" Pietro asked as Y/N helped him with his car.

"I have just got my acceptance letter for NYU." She told him. "I am doing art and english, what about you?"

"I am going to UCLA." He told her. "A full ride for Track."

"That's awesome." Y/N beamed as she wiped her hands. "Turn her over." She told him as he leaned in the car, turning the key in the ignition.

"That sounds so much better." He beamed as she closed the hood.

"You need to lay off the acceleration." She told him. "It can wreak havoc on the pistons and the gasket."

"I'll keep that in mind." He told her. "What are you doing for prom?"

"I don't know." She told him. "I guess maybe give it a miss."

"Come on!!! You have to go." He told her. "I'm asking Monica and maybe you can ask Darcy? You guys are somewhat friends right?"

"I guess you're right." She told him with a small smile. "I'll ask her tomorrow at school."

"Then we can go suit shopping if you want after school?" He questioned as Y/N nodded. Wanda hated the idea of someone else going with Y/N, the idea that someone may be the one to take her away for good.

So when she accepted Jarvis's prom proposal, she had the perfect plan. As the hall filled with the graduating seniors, she watched for Y/N to enter the room. Her heart beat rapidly as she saw her walk in wearing a navy blue suit with Darcy in a light blue dress on her arm. Her twin and Monica was right behind them.

She hated the sight of Y/N being happy with others, a smile that only Wanda used to get from the girl. Wanda took her glass of the red punch and tripped near the four of them, only getting the punch on both Y/N and Darcy.

"What the hell Wanda!" Pietro yelled at his twin as Monica was fast enough to take Darcy to the ladies room to try and clean up.

"What? I tripped." She told him, feigning innocence as Y/N shook her head at the brunette before walking away. Soon groaning as she heard the sound of Wanda's heels on the ground behind her.

"Don't you have a boyfriend to get back to?" Y/N asked her as she turned around to face Wanda.

"I do." She told her with a smirk as she followed Y/N to the exit. "But I want to try something first." Y/N turned around as she approached her car, only to be pushed back by Wanda as she pressed her lips on Y/N's in a hungry kiss. It wasn't until Y/N pushed her away from her.

"What the hell Wanda!" Y/N yelled at her.

"I just wanted to see what Carol bragged about." She smirked. "You are indeed an amazing kisser." She leaned into whisper in Y/N's ear. "Definitely got me going and needing something more." With that, she removed her wet underwear and shoved them in Y/N's face before walking away teasingly. Y/N just stood there in shock with Wanda's underwear in her hands. Watching dumbly as Wanda disappeared back inside the school. She was just happy that she wouldn't have to see Wanda again.

[ghcstao3]

that one slower scene in every superhero movie when the good guys take a beating from the villain and need to regroup, so one of the members of the team is like 'i know a place'.

so, nik gets some coordinates from soap and flies them to a countryside in scotland where mrs mactavish greets them on the front porch of a lovely house and immediately threats them with an ass whooping if they don't take their muddy combat boots off before going inside.

momma mactavish seems completely unafazed by a helicopter in her backyard, doesn't ask any questions, treats them all like a family. she's tiny and a little scary, makes them eat their vegetables and treats them to a delicious dessert. she can't stop kissing johnny's head and roast him for his mohawk.

ghost notices how relaxed and happy johnny is and how domesticity suits him. he would like to see it more often. for the first time in his life he is reluctant to come back to work.

immediately pictured the avengers at hawkeye’s house

-

Usually when someone on their team says I know a place when they find themselves in a bout of trouble, they don’t usually mean their childhood home.

Usually, I know a place means a warehouse, a run-down safe house, or, God forbid, some cave. And yet instead, here they all exist idly in Soap’s mum’s house while she coddles them in between scolding her son like it’s just another normal day for her. Like they aren’t all hardened soldiers standing in her home, each with innumerable kill counts and severely blacked-out personnel files.

It’s… weird, being crowded into a dining room and served a home-cooked meal despite coming unannounced and uninvited. That isn’t to say they’re not all thankful, having surely used up the last of Mrs. MacTavish’s gauze and bandages to get to this point, but it’s just—not at all what any of the team had been expecting.

Soap’s about the only one who seems unperturbed. Price is still rubbing his wrist from when Mrs. MacTavish smacked him for his insistence on helping with supper.

You’re guests, she had said, sounding positively aghast. What kind of host do you take me for?

Ghost can certainly see where Soap had gotten his fiery nature, as he bickers back and forth with his mother while the rest of them eat quietly, tentatively, like they’re not sure they’re allowed to. They may not share much in looks, but it’s no doubt that Soap is his mother’s son.

By the time dessert rolls around—which is yet another surprise—Mrs. MacTavish has finally been directing conversation to the soldiers sat around her table, asking about work and life as if they aren’t all bruised and scarred and about half-dead from an awful fight. Yet they all find themselves discussing what’s asked of them like it’s no more than the weather.

Something about Mrs. MacTavish’s spirit instills a sense of familiarity, homeliness. Ghost understands why Soap thought to bring them all there.

Ultimately it’s Gaz who charms Soap’s mum away to the living room along with Price and Nik that lets Ghost, at the very least, get away with helping with dishes once everything is said and done. Unfortunately for Soap, he’s never offered the choice.

“Good thing you have goin’ on here, Johnny,” Ghost eventually remarks, once they’re finally in the swing of wash, dry, wash, dry. “Not afraid of anything getting traced back here? To her?”

Soap shakes his head as he scrubs at a particularly tough stain. “Nah. It’s no’ on any of my records. Hell, it’s barely on any records. We’re off grid, LT, no need to worry your pretty head.”

Ghost rolls his eyes. He wipes off the plate that’s handed to him before setting it on the drying rack, and tossing his towel over his shoulder. It’s not until Soap’s trying to hand him something else does he take notice of Ghost’s pause.

Slowly, Soap sets the dish back in the water, frowning up at Ghost. “What?”

“…Nothin’,” Ghost says after much too long. He huffs. “Just… nice seeing what home looks like on you.”

Ghost doesn’t allow himself to linger watching Soap’s expression change from confusion to a near softness, instead making a reach for the discarded dish in the murky, soapy water to kick their routine back in gear.

He doesn’t want to think about it too closely. Doesn’t want to think about the things he’s realizing about himself this evening, or the fleeting thought that maybe he’d like to stay here forever, instead of return to the field where death waits openly at every turn.

It’s still appreciated, though, this moment of tranquility. He’ll have to make sure to thank Mrs. MacTavish when he gets the chance.

[redbleedingrose]

I’m half asleep while writing this and laughing my ass off while imagining this lol.

Imagine you’re arguing with Rhys over something stupid and you start to realize you’re wrong but won’t admit it so you just flash him your breasts and his mind just short circuits and completely forgets about the argument.

He wouldn’t know what to do with himself lol

It took me way too long to type this out. I just needed to get this out of my head before I fell asleep and forgot it.

OMG! I actually love this idea and have been thinking about it since you sent it. Like I cannot stop thinking about Rhys and all you all are fueling my LOVE for this male!!!! Send help!!!!

Arguing with Rhysand

to be honest, do I think you and Rhys have arguments over serious stuff frequently? No, absolutely not. For the most part, if you guys have an argument, it tends to be something that is resolved with a short, heated conversation and then hours of you both making it up to each other, especially with him on his knees with your legs thrown over his shoulders.

And you guys tend to agree with each other on the more serious stuff. You work together as a couple and as high lord and lady of the night court to solve some of the most complicated matters regarding the state of your court and inter-court relations.

But!!! I do think you tend to start silly arguments with him to mess with him. Rhys needs to be taken off his high horse, the arrogant male he can be, and who better perfect to do that than his mate, the love of his life, the brightest star in his night sky??

It would kinda go something like this:

"C'mon Rhysie, you can't be serious," with your arms folded over your chest, annoyed at your mate who is settled on the bed, long strong legs crossed with his arms behind his head, a smug glint in his pretty violet eyes.

"Oh Darling, you know I am right." his eyebrows are lifted, urging you to argue back with him, his fucking smirk sending tingles down your spine.

"No Rhysand. Honestly, you aren't," you tilt your chin up, hurrumphing at your mate. You honestly are shocked your mate is arguing with you about this.

The high lord of night court, death incarnate, the darkness of the night, is truly, actually, arguing with you that he cooks better than you.

That fucking feline, arrogant bastard.

"You couldn't even cook until I came into your life," you hiss at him, rolling your eyes at him when he snorts, his face bright as he throws his tattooed forearm over his eyes in obvious amusement.

"And?" he says, peaking out from under his arm with another smile tugging at his lips.

"And???" you gasp. That fucking...

"I cannot believe you right now, my lord," the last bit is muttered mockingly.

His nose scrunches, "Not the 'my lord' darling, it really is not that serious. It's okay my love. I cook better than you and that is okay. You don't even need to cook darling, you only ever have to sit with me while I cook and look pretty, as you always do."

"I just... you are so mean to me. I cannot believe you are even telling me this, like... I obviously cook so much better than you," your foot is tapping on the floor, and you're shifting from side to side, arms still crossed over your chest as you glare over at your mate who is clearly finding this entire encounter far too entertaining.

Rhys huffs out another laugh, sitting up and beckoning you to come to him by tapping at the empty space next to him in your bed, "C'mere darling, it's alright, I just have more of a refined palate than you, and that means that I cook better."

You gasp at the audacity. "Rhysand!" You cannot believe this male.

His eyes twinkle with the stars of his court, "Sweetheart?"

"Take it back. Right now. I can cook better. I have cooked far longer, and I can cook a variety of things. Like roast chicken, and braised beef, and rice, and bread, and- "

"Are you telling me that I do not come home to windows that are open from you airing out the smoke of the bread you quite often burn to a crisp?" He stands from the bed, slowly approaching you like you are a frightened deer about to run off, hands raised like he is all innocent and is not being a complete baffoon right now.

Your mouth falls open, "You did not just go there," -- "Oh I did just go there beautiful" -- "You did not just go there! You asshole!" -- "Am I wrong gorgeous?" -- "I cannot even look at you right now." -- "C'mere pretty girl, I miss you"

"Oh no, you did this to yourself, don't even think about it, Mister." you sneer, backing away until you hit the wall, desperately thinking of a way to get him to take back his words.

"S'alright angel, c'mere. Come to your most handsome, darling high lord and tell him he cooks better than you, it's okay, you can admit it."

THE FUCKING NERVE OF THIS MALE. YOU CANT BREATHE.

And then it hits you.

As he continues to goad you, "C'mon baby, say it, Rhysand is the better cook, your mate is the better cook, your love is the better cook," finally reaching you, placing his hands on either side of you on the wall as he leans down, staring down at your with his heated breathe and pretty smile brushing over your lips.

"that's it love, c'mon, just a simple five words, 'you are the better co-"

His voice trails off into the ether, his pupils blowing, his hands splayed out next to you clenching into fists as he tightens his jaw, eyes utterly entranced by your tits that you decided to flash at him.

You lift up your brow, smirking at him while leaning back to give him a better view of your tits, "you were saying dear?"

He sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth, eyes not wavering from your pert breasts, the cool breeze sneaking in from the balcony tightening your nipples, "What?"

Your hand comes to rest on his chest, pushing at him with no success, the male stuck in place, the air surrounding you suddenly charged, "What is it you were saying Rhysie?"

"I uhh, I dunno love, I... you... you are..."

"Yes?" you peak up at him through your eyelashes, his chest heaving as he gazes down at you, hooded eyes finally meeting yours.

He hums, "You are exquisite darling," his arm sneaking around your waist to pull you flush against him, your tits rubbing at his bare chest when he presses his lips to your ear, "You are enchanting, and bewitching my mate."

anyway, uhhhh, by the time you are through with him, he does not remember ever saying he was the better cook. But he swears to you and the mother that if it gets you to ride him like that again, he will say it until the day you both become stardust.

Sorry this wasn't that good, but you get the drift I hope

[kelcemenow]

Missing.

Pairing Travis Kelce x Reader

Words 4640

Warnings Strong language, angst, smut, fluff. It's also really long and my proof-reading wasn't the best for this one!

I'm back to requests! This Anon has been waiting a long time which I'm so sorry for but I wanted to get As The Snow Falls finished first...I'm not good with having multiple stories going at once! "I have a new request angst to fluff - Travis x reader - Reader feels far from Travis due to practice and games she has been doing her best being there for him but something is falling after a game Travis accidentally takes out his anger on the reader that ends on a big relationship argument leading the reader to go out and stay with a friend for two nights having no contact with Travis making him realize he had to do something to prevent leaving the love of his life, and the have a happy ending I’ll let you continue with what you want"

The door slammed with force as you carefully poured the deep, ruby red coloured liquid from the bottle into the glass positioned in front of you. You turned your chin over your shoulder to look towards the living room to see Travis dropping his practice bag by the front door and charging towards the staircase.

You clenched your jaw and stared down at the perfectly cooked steak you had prepared along with roasted vegetables and a velvety blue cheese sauce. Travis had been distant for a few weeks, spending much of his time at practices and games. Even when he arrived home from his time at Arrowhead, he was quiet and irritable.

You were a few months into your whirlwind relationship and you weren't prepared for the stress of the football season. After all, this was a new environment for you. The late nights, the time away from each other, the media.

Pushing your chair away from you, you stood up from the dining table and quietly made your way up to your bedroom. Travis was changing out of his clothes, the steam from the running shower pouring out of the en-suite bathroom.

"Did you not shower after practice?" You said as you leaned against the doorframe.

Travis lifted his personalised Kansas City Chiefs t-shirt over his head, "Yeah. I need another one." His voice was monotonous and stern.

You looked down at your feet, "I made you dinner. I thought it would be nice to have a night in with a movie or something too?"

"I'm not hungry."

You swallowed hard, a lump forming in your throat, "And the movie?"

"I have games to watch." Travis pulled his sweatpants from his legs followed by his briefs.

You couldn't help but to let your eyes linger on his bare ass. His body was in peak condition due to the season starting, his firm muscles tight and strong.

"Is everything okay, Trav?" You asked with a shaky breath.

He rubbed his eyes with one hand, clutching at his discarded clothes with the other, tossing them into the laundry hamper, "I'm tired, okay? I don't need this."

You took a small step backwards and watched as he disappeared into the adjoining bathroom, his head still in his hands. You waited for a few seconds, hoping that he would run out of the room and towards you, profusely apologising for being short with you, holding you in his arms and laying kisses all over your face exactly like he used to. But he didn't.

You made your way back to the dining room, silently reminiscing of the early days in your relationship. You had met by chance through his coach Andy Reid. Your Mom was an old friend of his wife Tammy and when you were picking your Mom up after visiting her, Travis stopped by. Tammy was all too pleased to introduce you both, her and your Mom standing in the doorway and watching the flirting between you. Travis reached out to you a couple of days later.

"Hey Y/N, it's Travis from the other day. Cancel any plans you have for tonight for tonight because I'm taking you out."

You were taken aback by his forward approach, but flattered that the superstar athlete was paying you his attention.

"And what if I say no?"

Your love life had been historically dull. You'd been on dates and had a few short-term relationships but nothing seemed to stick. You either lost interest or the initial spark naturally fizzled out.

"I'll pick you up at 8."

Your first date was different from any other you'd had before. Travis had taken you axe throwing in the city and you had had an incredible time. Your eyes drifted to the fireplace. Positioned on the mantle was a framed photograph of that night. Travis' arm was hooked around the back of your neck and you were looking up at him with glassy eyes as he took a selfie of the two of you, his wide smile stretching from ear to ear.

You picked up the plates and with a long exhale of breath, deposited the food into the trash. Tears formed in your eyes as you clung to the countertop, your chest heaving with heavy sobs.

______________________________________________________________

"And he hasn't even apologised yet?"

"No, he's gone to practice. He left before I even woke up." Your hands were fidgeting with the sleeve of your sweatshirt as you sat on the couch.

Your best friend Amber had called you to double check your lunch plans and the conversation had drifted to your relationship woes.

"Maybe I went into this too quickly?"

You heard Amber sigh down the phone, "But that's not a reason as to why he's acting like a huge dick."

"I know, I know." You laughed under your breath, "He has a game at Arrowhead tomorrow."

"Are you gonna go?"

You paused for a moment. You had been to every single one of Travis' home games so far and a couple of the away ones. By not going, you were worried you would cause more tension.

"I think so." You said.

"I could come with you if you want?"

You smiled, "That would be awesome. Really, thank you."

"Don't mention it. I need some girl time, even if it is watching football. I'll get Chase to watch the boys. Just let me know what time to meet you and I'll be there." You heard some quiet commotion in the background, "Hunter, leave that alone. Sorry babe but I gotta go."

"Go, I'll text you later."

"Bye honey!"

Your arm dropped onto the sofa, your cell phone still clutched in your palm. The house felt empty and even though you were the only one there, it still some how felt empty when Travis was home. The rooms used to be full of laughter and noise, music playing or effervescent conversation. Lately, it was cold and tense. Something was missing.

You spent the rest of the day trying to let time pass quickly. You worked out for an hour, cleaned the kitchen and took a shower. It wasn't until later when you were loading the machine with laundry that you thought about Travis again. As you picked up his t-shirt from the night before, his warm scent drifted past your nose. You instantly felt melancholic, almost drained. Your daze was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and closing. You dropped Travis' t-shirt in with the rest of the laundry and stood up from the floor before setting the machine away. You could hear Travis' footsteps around the house, moving from room to room, presumably looking for you.

"I'm here, baby." You called out.

As you stepped into the kitchen, Travis appeared suddenly in front you.

You jumped back slightly, a slight scream escaping your mouth, "Oh! Travis! You scared the shit out of me!"

He looked red faced and sweaty, "I came back from practice early."

Your eyebrows furrowed, "You left early? Why?"

"I felt bad about last night. I..." He looked down as his voice trailed off, "I got you these."

He sheepishly produced a beautiful bouquet of red roses from behind his back.

"Travis! These are gorgeous!"

He took a hold of your hand, "Baby, I'm so sorry. I know I've been in my head a bit these past couple of weeks."

You stared up into his pale, glossed eyes, "Well, next time you get stuck in my head. Talk to me, okay?"

"I love you." He whispered.

You smiled, "More and and more, everyday babe."

His eyes creased into a grin, relief filling his face. He enveloped you into a tight hug, burying his face into the crook of your neck. Your fingers grazed the back of his neck as his lips began laying gentle kisses onto your skin. You relaxed into his hold, feeling safe and content that you had him back again. His kisses trailed towards your mouth that you gladly accepted, allowing his tongue to explore yours. You pulled away quickly so that you were able to take a gasp of air and Travis' hands grabbed onto your ass, your legs wrapping around his waist. He carefully carried you over to the countertop and gently placed you onto it. His eyes darted to your core, your shorts riding up dangerously high. There was almost a darkness that flashed across his face which only caused you to ache and yearn more for him.

He lunged towards you, taking your face in his hands and pressing his mouth onto yours. Your heads dipped and weaved in a perfect rhythm with each other as the kiss deepened further. You held onto the neckline of his shirt, your knuckles turning white. Small moans filled your mouth as the vibrations from Travis' lips forced your hips to grind gently.

"I want you." He whispered.

You removed your t-shirt quickly, throwing it across the room, "You have me."

His eyes widened at the sight of your bare breasts, his mouth dropping open a little. He dropped to his knees and dragged his tongue from your ankle and along the inside of your thigh, reaching your covered pussy. His fingers played with the fabric as you leaned back slightly, opening your legs further.

"Oh, baby." Travis' voice was low, almost a growl.

Your pussy pulsated as your aching intensified. Travis watched intently as a small wet patch formed on your pale blue shorts, his bottom lip quivering.

"You're so wet already, baby girl."

You reached forward and grabbed at the back of his head, "Just fuck me, Travis."

He jumped up quickly and pulled his sweatpants away from his body, letting them fall around his ankles. He pulled your shorts to the side, not even wasting time in taking them off and wrapped his large hand around his engorged cock. He pumped it a few times before lining himself up with your glistening entrance. Travis' eyes quickly connected with yours before you looked down, watching as he pushed his cock inside of you. Your mouth opened, letting a loud gasp escape into the room.

He filled you perfectly, stretching your walls ever so slightly. His fingers kneaded into your ass as he thrusted roughly, the sounds of wet skin slapping getting louder with each motion. You held him closely to you, feeling his hot breath against your collarbone and listened intently to each grunt and moan from his mouth.

You noticed that Travis' thrusts were starting to slow, every action taking more time than the last.

"Everything okay?" You breathed.

He avoided your gaze, "Yeah. I'm just so close...but I want to last a bit longer for you."

Something tightened in your core, "It's okay baby, just enjoy it. Don't stress."

Travis hissed through his struggle as he gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut, "I want you to come first."

You could feel yourself unravelling, "I'm almost there, keep going."

He looked up at you and nodded, resuming his previous pace, his hips snapping forwards harshly. You screamed loudly through the intense pleasure, your vision blurring. Your skin was sticking to his, caused by the slick layer of sweat that was coating the both of you. Travis' face twisted, his eyebrows pulled in together and his jaw clenched tightly. He huffed through his teeth a few times before your pussy fiercely throbbed, signalling your orgasm. You watched as Travis lowered his head, watching your wetness coat his dick as his thrusts became sloppy and unpredictable.

Your pussy was becoming overstimulated, every movement causing your walls to contract tighter. Your head fell forward slightly and your mouth made contact with Travis' shoulder, your teeth sinking into his flesh.

Travis cried out, a mixture of pain and pleasure. His hips gave a couple more hard jolts before his whole body became tense, his eyes widened and a breathy moan rang in your ear.

You both caught your breath for a few seconds before Travis lay gentle kisses on your collarbone, his mouth humming in contentment. He leaned away slightly to reach for some kitchen towel, handing some to you before he carefully pulled his dick out, cum seeping from your folds.

"I can run you a bath?" He asked.

You purred in agreement, letting him help you to hop down from the countertop and hand you your shirt. Your heart fluttered as you looked at your hand in his, which looked tiny in comparison. It was as if the last couple of weeks hadn't even happened. You had your Travis back.

______________________________________________________________

Your fingers tapped at your phone screen.

"Want me to wait for you outside the locker room? X"

Amber was standing next to you, her eyes scanning the emptying field, "It was still a good game, right?"

You turned to her, your eyebrows lowered, "That won't matter. He missed 3 touchdowns, got 2 personal fowls and he gave away an interception. They may have won by a couple of points, but something is off with Travis."

"But you said everything was okay now?"

You shoved your hands into your coat pockets, "Yeah, I mean last night he apologised and we talked and spent time together...and we had the most amazing sex."

Amber beamed at you, "Well then, that's a good sign?"

"I suppose so. I just hope he isn't beating himself up too much." You felt your cell phone vibrate against your fingers. Pulling it out of your pocket, you read the reply from Travis.

"No, it's fine. I gotta deal with some stuff here. You go home."

"On the other hand, he might just go back to miserable Travis." You said, disappointed.

Amber craned her neck to see the phone screen. She took a couple of seconds to see the messages before she shook her head, "Girl, just go and see him. He clearly needs his woman to console him."

"You saw what he said. He has some stuff to figure out. I don't wanna push his boundaries." You pulled your Chiefs knit hat down a little further, "I'll just meet him at home."

Amber sucked the air through her teeth, "Okay, if you think that's the right thing to do?"

You began to shuffle out of the viewing box, crowds of people filing out into the parking lot. The air outside was cold, bitter against your cheeks and as you walked around the side of the stadium, you noticed someone rushing out of a side door. You squinted your eyes, trying hard to focus on the figure when you heart dropped to your stomach.

"Is that Travis?" Amber said, her finger pointing forwards.

You squinted harder, watching as your boyfriend pulled his hood up and jumped into his car, speeding away down the road.

Amber continued, "Where is he going?"

"I...I don't know."

"Maybe he's changed his mind and he's going to meet you at home?"

You swallowed hard, "Then why didn't he call me to tell me that?"

There was a moment of silence before Amber grabbed onto your arm, "Maybe he wanted to surprise you? Maybe he's gone to get you some more roses...or dinner...or something?"

"Maybe." You said quietly.

You couldn't shake the worrying feeling that was lying in the pit of your stomach. You felt as though the hotdog and soda that you had consumed during the game was going to make another appearance.

"I'd better shoot off. Chase is probably tearing his hair out with the boys." She squeezed your hand, "Not that he's a terrible Father. He's great! But when you've got two, it's hard, you know? One starts climbing on the furniture and the other is pulling the trash from the bin."

"Amber." You placed your other hand over hers, "I know you're trying to ease the awkward atmosphere...and I really appreciate it. But I think I just want to go home."

She gave you a sincere smile, pulling you closer for a hug before heading to her own car and leaving you stood in the parking lot. Swarms of people were filtering past you as you tried to figure out what Travis was doing. You closed your eyes after a few moments and shook your head, desperate not to let your brain spiral to exaggerated thoughts that you wanted to avoid.

The drive home was difficult to say the least. It was almost as if every radio station knew of your struggle, continuously playing songs detailing heartbreak, cheating, lies and broken relationship. After the fourth or fifth try, you gave up, turning the radio off with loud sigh.

Confusion set in when you pulled into the driveway and Travis' car was nowhere in sight. You turned your engine off, wondering where he could be. He had left before you and before most of the traffic, meaning he would've made it home earlier. Unless he had come home and gone back out.

The house was quiet, just as you'd left it, only furthering your confusion. You pulled your phone out of your bag, tapping the screen.

"Where are you? I'm home and you're not here?"

Sitting down on the sofa, you turned on the television, hoping for a distraction but you barely had time to focus on the screen when your eyes began to droop. Your skin tingled as your muscles completely relaxed before you drifted off to sleep.

______________________________________________________________

Your eyes fluttered open as the lights of a car shone into the darkened room. Your hand felt around for the television remote, turning it off and reaching for the lamp. Rubbing your eyes, you grabbed your phone to check the time.

01.30.

Your chest tightened quickly. You heard the sound of keys jiggling in the front door before it opened and Travis walked in, his game bag in his hand.

"Where have you been?" You said, coldly.

Travis looked at you with no hint of an expression, "I just needed to sort some things out."

"At Arrowhead?" You pressed.

"Yeah."

"So, why did I see you get into your car immediately after the game?"

He avoided your gaze, choosing to walk towards the kitchen and placing his bag onto the floor.

"Travis?" You asked, your voice getting louder.

"What?" He snapped as he returned into the room.

Standing up from the sofa, you could feel the anger building inside of you, "Is this why you've been weird lately? Barely speaking to me, barely spending any time with me?"

Travis' eyes burned into you from across the room, "What are you getting at?"

"Are you fucking someone else?"

He said nothing. Instead, he looked down at the floor and started laughing under his breath.

A red mist descended over you, "Travis. Answer me!"

"This is ridiculous."

"Okay. So, now I'm being ridiculous."

Travis slammed his keys onto the cabinet next to him, "Don't you dare put words in my mouth. I didn't say you were being ridiculous, but right now, you fucking are. I fucked up tonight."

Your eyebrows knitted together, "What do you mean?"

"I fucked up the game! I don't know if you were paying attention out there but I sucked. Big time. Pat is mad at me, Coach is made at me, I let the whole team down."

"But, you won?"

"That's not the fucking point!" He yelled, his face flashing red, "I don't know where my head is right now. And you're not helping!"

You stepped back slightly, "I'm not helping? All I've been trying to do is help! But you won't let me. You don't want me to."

The room was silent. It was eerie and tense.

You cleared your throat, shifting the large lump that had formed, "So, you know what? I'll just go."

Travis watched as you disappeared up the staircase, "Babe. No, I didn't mean that."

You slammed the bedroom door, grabbing a few essentials that you needed, trying desperately to hold back the flood of tears that you knew were imminent. You typed furiously on your phone, sending a message to someone who you knew could help you. You heard Travis move into his office downstairs and took the opportunity to leave while you could. You didn't want to see him and you certainly didn't want another argument, so you disappeared out of the front door, grabbing your car keys on the way.

Rain was pouring from the dark clouds above you, soaking your body almost immediately. With a press of a button, your car headlights lit up the front of the house. Taking shelter in the car, the sound of the raindrops hitting against the windscreen rang loudly in your ears. As soon as you pulled out of the driveway, you internal dam burst. You blinked the tears away as fast as you could but it was no use, the mixture of the rain covered windscreen and your bleary eyes made it hard for you to see the road ahead. Luckily, you knew exactly where you were going and it wasn't far away. You ignored your cell phone that had been ringing non-stop since you had left the house and continued down the road that you knew all too well.

Once you had arrived, you quietly knocked on the door, wiping your wet eyes with your sweatshirt sleeve. It opened almost immediately and Amber emerged from the house with open arms and a sympathetic smile.

"Honey, come in."

______________________________________________________________

You felt numb. You felt empty. You felt like something was definitely missing now.

For the last couple of days or so, Amber had been an incredible friend, giving you space and bringing you cups of hot tea almost every hour. But the one thing she kept doing, was talking about Travis.

"Maybe you should call him?" She said to a pile of blankets that were strewn on the bed.

"I don't want to call him." You said from underneath.

She started to peel the layers back, "He's called you about 60 times...which you would know if you looked at your cell."

"I just said, I don't want to call him."

"I know, I know. But he's called me a few times and he just sounds do upset."

You pushed the blankets away from your face, "You spoke to him?"

Amber tipped her head to one side, "Yeah. I didn't plan on it, I swear. But he wasn't giving up and I just thought someone should at least hear what he has to say."

You brought your hand up to your face, your teeth clamping down on your nails.

"Maybe we should go for a walk? Get you some fresh air?"

You stared up at her for a few seconds.

"You know, it'll be good for you? It'll be amazing how much better you'll feel once you're up and about. We could go and grab a coffee and head over to the-"

"Alright, alright." You rolled your eyes, "If I say yes, will you shut up?"

Amber beamed back at you, "Yes, I will!"

______________________________________________________________

It was a crisp morning, the cool air whipping around your face. The small park nearby to Amber's house was calm, with brown leaves dusted all over the grass. The pathways were lined with swaying trees and even though you hated to admit it, you did feel better.

Your takeaway coffee cup was warming your hands and the hot liquid tingled on your tongue. Amber held up to her promise and said very little, allowing you to clear your head and enjoy the walk.

Pouring the last of your coffee into your mouth, you scanned the area for a nearby trash can. You spotted one next to a small bench and as you approached it, you noticed a letter resting on the wooden panels. Furrowing your brows, you leaned in closer to see what was written on the front of the envelope.

‘Y/N’

You spun around to see Amber holding her hands to her face. She quickly shuffled towards you and took the empty cup from you, throwing it into the trashcan. She held you by your shoulders and looked at you with anticipation and a slight hint of guilt.

"Don't hate me, okay?"

Leaning down, she picked up the letter and handed it to you, taking a couple of steps back.

Your fingers gently caressed the cream envelope for a moment. You took a deep breath and opened it, immediately seeing Travis' handwriting covering the white paper.

"Read it out loud." Amber said, excitement in her voice.

You shot her a look before staring down at the letter in your hands. "My Y/N. My whole life I have had to be part of a team. Countless times I have taken on the responsibility of making sure my team are rock solid, focused and have each others backs. But I realise now that I have neglected the most important team of all. Our team. Me and you."

A small lump formed in your throat as you read the words.

"I know I have been distant these past couple of weeks, I have closed myself off from you when I should have been honest and told you the truth."

You could feel your heart thumping harder and harder.

"I guess I was scared, worried. But I've realised that our team, me and you, mean more to me than I first thought. When I met you, you changed me. You make me a better person and I cannot thank you enough for that. I feel so grateful that I have you in my life and I want to spend every second that I can with you."

Your hands began to tremble.

"I am so sorry that I ever made you feel the way you did. I should be the one protecting you from hurt and disappointment, and I have let you down. I have been a mess without you. Without your singing when you're in the shower. Without your delicious baking. Without the smell of your perfume around the house. Something has been missing these past couple of days and I want it back. If you can ever forgive me, please believe me when I say that I am sorry and I love you."

"More and more, everyday babe."

You whipped your head around to see Travis standing with his hands burrowed into his pockets. He looked pale and tired.

"Travis?" You breathed.

He shook his head, staring into your eyes intently, "That night, when I came home late, I was visiting your parents."

"My parents?"

"Yeah. Man, your Dad is chatty. That's why I was so late."

Your face twisted with confusion, "Then why didn't you just tell me?"

"Because I wanted it to be a surprise."

You watched as Travis lowered himself down onto one knee, pulling his hands from his pockets and presenting a small velvet box. Amber squealed with excitement and your jaw dropped open in shock.

"I've never loved anyone the way I love you. And that scared me, but it shouldn't have. You are so perfect for me and I want to spend my life with you, if you'll have me?"

Moisture built up in your eyes and when you squeezed them shut, tears began falling down your cheeks. You quickly wiped them dry so that you could see when Travis opened the box, a beautiful white gold ring inside, encrusted with diamonds.

"Y/N, will you marry me?"

"Oh my God, yes! Yes!" You cried, bending down to take his face in your hands.

Travis stood up, carefully placing the ring onto your finger. He looked deeply into your eyes as his arms snaked around your waist, holding you closely to him. "I've got my missing piece back."

"And it's all because of me!" Amber sang as she ran towards you both, throwing her arms around you as you laughed, clutching the letter that brought you back.

_____________________________________________________________

I love to imagine that Travis is this romantic. However, I do struggle writing him to be a moody asshole! My requests are still closed until I make a bigger dent into my current list. Which I will get through as quickly as I can. My main problem is, my fics always end up way longer that I intend them to be!

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[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

I love love your writing lovely!! Seriously are amazing!

I am on my hands and knees for some slow soft sensual sexy time with iii, only if you feel up to it of course! Let’s say he’s come home from tour and just wants to savour every bit of you and show you how much he missed you 🥺

Tysm sending hugs and hope you’re doing well! 🌸💗

Crumpled bedsheets

First of all, what good have I done to this earth to deserve a request from you, a queen of st stories herself. I can only wish to satisfy. Second of all, I think i blacked out writing this cause this is iii and my brain usually short circuits when it CUMs to him… ehem… enjoy.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Just landed”, read the latest text between you two, causing the biggest smile to spread across your lips. A smile that hasn’t left your face ever since. You had been restless for the past couple of days. Just the thought alone of finally getting to see your boyfriend was enough to keep you up all night. You both haven’t been apart for so long before. So the past month and a half had been torture. The bed felt empty without iii’s long limbs occupying most of it. It was too quiet. No one was strumming mindlessly on the sofa. No one was obnoxiously clacking pots and pans in the morning.

You had busied yourself with cleaning all morning. Changing the sheets. Fluffing the pillows. Tackling the last bits of laundry. Anything to keep you away from just sitting by the door. You even wiped up his favorite roast. More than sure that he had missed proper home-cooked meals. If you had a car you had probably driven to the airport yourself. Desperate. You were desperate to finally see him. Feeling slightly dazed by the level of both anxiety and excitement swirling in your body.

Your whole body stiffened when you heard the familiar jingle of the keys. A loud thud following suit as his bag hit the floor in the entrance room. Your body was drumming with anticipation yet you couldn’t seem to move. Not until your legs suddenly took off towards him. You barely caught a glimpse of his shit-eating grin as you rounded the corner. “Here you are, got me worried for a moment, thought that you packed up and…”, but iii’s words are cut off by you practically jumping into his embrace. Your arms wrap around his neck as you let yourself breathe him in. One of his arms wraps around your middle while he aimlessly runs his free hand up and down your thigh, before giving your bum a playful squeeze, “Missed me much?”, he muses, even if his own heart is threatening to leap out of his chest.

You pull back, eyes glazed with tears, “You tell me”, you crock out before cupping his face between your palms. “Don’t cry, baby, you got me back home, there’s no need for tears now”, he brushes his nose against you before leaning in to kiss you. It genuinely feels as if someone finally remembered to plug you into the electricity socket. As if you had been running on empty all this time and now, finally, you were catching a glimpses of feeling whole again.

Your fingers tangled in his hair as you deepen the kiss, wrapping your legs even tighter around him. iii moans against you, kneading your ass. “Wine and dine me first, geez”, he pulls away breathlessly, before leaning into you to bite your bottom lip. “Shut up and get your pants off”, you grunt, pulling at the white shirt he’s wearing. A low laugh slips past his lips, “It’s starting to look as if what you missed most is my dick not me”, with one raised eyebrow he watches you halt before your eyes meet his. A mischievous smirk paints your face, “Oh, sorry, you thought I missed you?”, emphasizing the you part you tilt your head to the side, biting your lip. “Careful, baby, mighty thin ice you are walking on”, iii lets out a deep groan as you chuckle to yourself leaning in to brush your lips over his, “Just want to feel you closer, this doesn’t feel real”, you mutter, nuzzling into his neck once again. “Does this feel more real?”, his big palms push you closer to him. Making sure that you are rubbing right against the fully erect bulge in his pants. The sensation after weeks of mediocre orgasms is enough to send a shiver down your body. “Fuck, iii”, you moan, already feeling the wetness soaking your thong. “I intend to fuck you, trust me”, he grunts, “The thought of coming home to you alone had me hard the past couple of days”. There’s something both sweet and so sensual about his words. The knowledge of being able to affect him even when you are apart.

Knowing the apartment like the back of his hand, iii steps through the corridor, lips still linked with yours as he pushes the door leading to the bedroom with a firm kick. His hands reach for the hem of the shirt, pulling it over your head only for a sea of curses to follow suit. His hands reach out, pushing your breasts together as he flicks his fingers over the slowly hardening nipples beneath the mesh material. “Fucking hell, I missed you”, iii mutters, leaning in, biting at the swell of your breast before nuzzling against your chest. “Me or the titts?”, you throw his own words at him, making him chuckle, “Don’t be a hypocrite now”, he shakes his head.

“That’s my favorite bra”, in any other scenario being gawked on like that would make you want to hide. Curl into yourself. But not here. Not with iii. Whose eyes are practically black with lust as he takes his time, massaging each of your breasts between his fingers.

“I know”, you breathe out, pushing his head only further into your chest. And then his movements halt. Only for a moment but he stops. As if finally realizing that he is back. He is home. That you’re in his arms. His piercing blue eyes look up at you. “I fucking love you”, iii states pushing upwards to kiss you one more time, “You have no idea just how much I missed you”. Your fingers slip to the back of his neck, pulling him face-to-face with you. You know that he can see the same emotions in your eyes. So you don’t feel a single ounce of guilt as you mutter, “Say that while thrusting into me”. A growl-like sound slipped from the depths of his throat, “Bloody hell, you will make me bust a nut before I’m even inside you”, “Then talk less and thrust more”, you grunt, pulling at his sweatpants, letting your fingers slip between the waistband of his boxers.

“Fuck”, “Shit”, you both moan in unison from the touch alone. You could feel the precum dripping all over the hardness of him and he’s just so touch-starved at this point that the feeling of your fingers alone make his thighs shake. “Spread your legs”, he breathes against your neck and you waste no time following his wish. He pulls back for a heartbeat. Yanking his t-shirt over his head with one hand before dropping back down to kiss you. Letting his lips trail down your neck, reaching the valley of your breast before kissing each of your nipples over the mesh cup of your bra and only then moving swiftly to unhook it. The feeling of his stubble against your sensitive peaks making you arch against him.

“Fuck me already”, you cry out in frustration, trying to find friction between you both. “Let me worship you first”, his firm palm slowly itches between your thighs. A loud moan slips past your lips when he finally presses his thumb against your clit. You bite the inside of your cheek when he lazily circles it, putting just the right amount of pressure, making you grind into his palm, “Don’t hold back, I want to hear you”, he urges, leaning in to kiss the inside of your thigh before his lips hovers dangerously close to your heat. “iii, please, don’t play games, baby”, you whine, watching him watch you before he dives in, pressing a kiss to the center of your wetness before his teeth pull the soaked material of your thong off your body. “Shit, fuck me”, a breath hitches in your throat as you watch his movements. The way his eyes never leave you till the skimpy material is in his hands, carelessly being tossed to the side. iii stops to kiss the inside of your ankle, leaving a trail of kisses back to your core. And you know what he’s after. The way he licks his lips speaks volumes but you catch the side of his face, “Dick”, you grunt, “you can eat me out later”, it’s pathetic almost how you tremble at the thought alone. He doesn’t argue to your surprise. His big frame hovers over you as he pushes your legs apart for his likeing. “Do you know how beautiful you are?”, he hums, the very tip of his dick brushing over your folds, as he coats himself in your arousal. “iii”, you whimper, hands running down his chest. “Do you think you can still take me after six weeks apart, mhh?”, he nudges the very tip inside you making you melt in a deliciously warm feeling that spreads all over you. “Yes”, you nod eagerly, “All of it”, you mutter. “Really?”, iii muses, “Let’s see”, his hand reaches out to squeeze your throat as his eyes lock onto you. “Eye on me at all times”, he whispers against your lips before snapping his hips upwards, making you both cry out in pleasure. “Relax”, iii grunts, reaching out to pull one of your legs more to the side, “I can barely move when you’re squeezing me so tight, fuck”. Your hands grasp at his back as the feeling of that aching fullness fills your senses. “You’re so fucking big”, you mewl when he withdraws with a chuckle before thrusting back in, this time with much more force. “Fuck you feel…”, his head falls onto your shoulder when he finally nearly bottoms out inside you. “Baby”, you cry out, wrapping your legs around his waist, pushing him even deeper into your heat.

He slowly sets a steady pace. One that is enough to make your head spin. The sound of the headboard hitting against the wall and grunt after grunt filling the room. All this time his hands are there, guiding your hips onto his dick as he chased both of your releases. “So good”, you mutter, “just… there”, your head fell back onto the pillow when iii nudged just the right spot deep within you. “Like this?”, his eyes watch your agape mouth as you silently drown in ecstasy of one another. No words. No nods are needed.

His fingers slip between you both, lazily flicking your clit. “Fuck… fuck, iii, fu…”, you cry out for him once more before reaching for the back of his neck as you pull him closer, crashing your lips into his. The kiss drowning out the pleasure that shoots through your body. iii pulls away with a growl, throwing his head back as you feel him swell and twitch within your walls. “Love”, he muses, leaning in, swirling his tongue around your nipple, making you clench around him. Finally making you pull him over the edge. His grip on you tightens as his release chases right after yours. The slow thrust still making you both shiver with the last drops of orgasm.

Burying himself balls deep, iii stops, letting himself melt into the warmth of your body. You can feel his heart beating fast. Matching your own. Both breathing raggedly. He lifts back onto his elbows after a while, dazed eyes watching you sprawled on the sheets in front of him. “That’s one hell of a way to welcome me home”, iii muse, pressing his lips against yours, you just shoot him a smile. Too content to break the blissful daze. He moves to pull out only to be met with the iron grip of your thighs around his torso. “Baby…”, he grunts and you can feel him slowly hardening inside you once more. “Stay”, you muse, “Just till we go again”, “Again?”, iii raises his eyebrows at you, “Already?” You blink up at him innocently, “Afraid you can’t get it back up?”, you tease, earning yourself a harsh thrust as he yanks you onto his dick with both hands on your hips, “Oh, I can get it up just fine, you should be worried about getting up after, baby”.

[honey-crypt]

NEED ELLIOTT SUCKING FARMER COCK N OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

a/n: the winner of my 69 followers contest sjfhdsjf - i expended on it cuz it was openended but i hope you enjoy cuz i sure did LMAO.... MINORS DNI PLEASEEEEEE

word count: 2.7k

summary: elliott thinks you're a rude ass who must've been raised by wolves with your swearing and lack of manners while you think he's a pretenious, self-absorbed piece of shit who's the reincarnation of narcissus himself. yet, after a fight ensues at the luau, you find yourself trapped between a rock and a hard place, both of which being your accidental boner.

warnings: hatefucking, enemies to friends with benefits maybe??, degradation, dom/sub dynamics. top!farmer, bottom!elliott, dacryphilia, farmer is amab but no gendered langauge, mild cum eating, semi-public sex (fucking in elliott's cabin during the luau), too many instances of bee writing the word cock in this fic, use of slut/pretty boy/dumb bitch/fucktoy, hair pulling, mild pain kink, mild dumbification???, facefucking

★ shut your mouth - elliott x farmer ★

You found Elliott to be somewhat pretentious. He annoyed you with his eloquent and over the top words, as if he was transported to the present from Victorian England. You hated how he held himself, always so high and might like everyone around him was less than. Oh, and his hair! His fucking hair! It was stupidly shiny and perfect, you just found it utterly repulsive. No one needed to be that obsessed with their appearance.

At least, the feeling of resentment was mutual. Elliott despised your crude language and sailor-like tendency to swear every other sentence. He hated the way how impatient you were, such as the time he witnessed your never-ending foot tapping while you both were stuck in line at Pierre's. And your smile? Ugh, it was too bright and big, almost like a wolf's grin before its next kill

Nonetheless, the two of you made an effort to avoid one another in public, only exchanging pleasantries in front of other townies or the unfortunate physical run-ins that would result in a sneer from you and a scoff from him. Yet, there were days that neither of you could avoid the other and today happened to be one of those days.

The Luau wasn't one of your favorite festivals, the communal soup was usually a hit or miss but Linus always cooked a delicious brisket. On the day of the festival, you entered the beach around noon after feeding your farm animals and made a beeline to the slow-roasting brisket, "Linus!" you greeted Pelican Town's local wild man, "Good to see you with the rest of town!"

"Ah, (Y/N)," he greeted you with a soft smile while rotating the brisket, "It's nice to see you, as well. The brisket will be done in just a minute, you can have first taste."

"Did you know that you're my favorite person in whole wide world?" you laughed, earning a chuckle from Linus. His timing was extremely accurate, as a minute or so passed before Linus extinguished the fire below the brisket, "All ready for eatin', enjoy."

You give him a side hug and held out your plate, "Thanks again, Linus! You're the best," you thanked the nature lover and pulled a large chunk of brisket off the roasted chicken. You passed by the assembly of condiments and poured enough BBQ sauce to drown your brisket in a sea of tangy brown liquid. With a relieved sigh, you dug into your brisket like you've been starved for years, So fucking good... you thought to yourself, BBQ sauce splattering on your face and clothes.

"Were you truly raised by wolves, Farmer?"

Not good anymore. Elliott stood before you with his arms crossed and brow furrowed. You set your brisket back on your plate and took a fistful of napkins, haphazardly wiping the sauce of your face and clothes. The uptight writer let out a huff, "That seems to answer my question," to which you glared daggers with him, "Are we really gonna do this? At the Luau, pretty boy?" the nickname rolled off your tongue with venom.

"Are you going to continue to insult everyone with your lack of manners and dining etiquette?" retorted Elliott with a sneer. You leapt to your feet, hands slamming against the table. Some festival attendees turned their heads towards you at the sound, but shortly dismissed it and returned to their prior activities.

"You know, you're a real asshole," you growled quietly, not wanting to cause a scene in front of the whole town. Elliott let out a laugh, a cocky but classy laugh, "And you lack the fundamentals of being a decent individual with your cursing and attitude."

Your blood turned icy at his words and before you could stop yourself, you slapped Elliott across the face. The echo of the slap vibrated across the beach and alerted the other residents of Pelican Town. Mayor Lewis excused himself from the governor and approached the two of you, "Oh, what a careless mistake!" he exclaimed to the town, "You must be more careful with your hands, (Y/N), haha!" the rest of town relaxed and resumed their festival enjoying. Mayor Lewis eyed you and Elliott with exasperation, "If you're going to throw hands, do it somewhere else."

"Gladly," you grumbled, picking up your brisket and a soda before exiting the beach. From the beach, you only made it to the small bridge that connected it to the town when you felt someone grab your wrist, "Hey!" you yacked your wrist free, "What the fuck?"

"Do you not have any control over your emotions?" the wrist grabber, Elliott, questioned. You huffed once more and placed your meal down on the bridge, "You wanna be slapped again?" you wringed out your hands, "How about I punch your face? Won't be pretty anymore, which would be a shame because it's the only thing you got going for you."

Elliott opened his mouth to fire back, but promptly shut it. You cackled, "Aw, did I leave Mr. Ernest Hemingway speechless?" It's a relief to hear you silent for once.

"You truly think I'm pretty?" What the actual fuck? You blinked, it was your turn to be speechless. However, that speechlessness only lasted for a moment when you answered, "Everyone in this Yoba damn town thinks so. Are you trying to fish for something?"

"No, no, I just-" the writer ran his hands through his hair and tugged on its locks, "Yoba, you're insufferable, (Y/N)," a snort escaped your nose, "Do you get pleasure from driving me insane?" he asked.

"The only pleasure I get from you is when you zip your lips," you hummed, "You talk and talk and talk but do you ever listen? Do you ever make an effort to listen to when others speak? Or are you truly the high and might piece of shit you present yourself as?"

A frown graced Elliott's lips, a deviance from his usual scowl towards you, "Do you really believe that? Do you really think I'm a bad person, (Y/N)?" he almost looked... heartbroken.

"I mean," you lowered your fighter stance, "I mean, the times I've seen you call Gus 'bartender' instead of his name?"

"It's a small joke between me and him," explained the writer, "I did it the first time I visited the saloon and he found it funny so on occassion, we exchange 'bartender' and 'sir' with one another."

"Okay," you sighed, "How about the fact that you only seem to talk about yourself? You're self-absorbed!" you spat out self-absorbed like a sword to his heart. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes, "Oh... I'm sorry..." he sniffled. Your eyes widened at the sight of his tears and oddly enough, so did your cock.

"Don't fucking cry," you shook your head. Yet, that didn't stop the tears, as they rolled down his sharp cheeks and jaw. Fuck, you winced at the sensation of your dick against your boxers and jeans, "I said," you grabbed him by the cheeks and yacked him towards your face, your body pressed against his "Don't fucking cry."

More tears flowed down from Elliott's watery emerald eyes. Fuck, fuck, fuck! you unintentionally fucked yourself over, as your boner made contact with his pelvis. Elliott's face morphed to a shade of tomato red, "D- Do- Did you just get a b- boner?" he stammered.

"Motherfucker," you freed his face from your falcon-like grasp and instead grabbed him by the hand. You scouted the festival zone for any onlookers and swiftly dragged Elliott to his cabin, "Open it," you commanded him. Without word, he inserted his key and unlocked the door, he then followed you into the cabin.

"Ugh, what a mess," you scoffed, as you examined the cabin's musty and cobweb infested state. Elliott wiped away his tears and asked you, "Why are we in my cabin?"

"Because," you pointed to your boner, "You're gonna fix the mess you made," which earned a dumbstruck look from the writer. Fuck, not him looking like the idiot he is! you felt your cock twitch at the sight, "So you gonna take care of it? Or am I gonna tell how much of a stupid crybaby you are?"

"I-" Elliott blinked back any remaining tears, "You're into people crying... what's stopping me from telling everyone that?" you rolled your eyes, "Won't you be a creep for telling everyone my kink, huh? For such a fancy schmancy writer like you claim to be, you sure are one hell of a dumbass."

More tears ensued, but you noticed something surprising; Elliott had a boner, too. You twisted your lips into a taunting smile, "You're into degradation, huh?"

Elliott quickly concealed his boner, "Wh- What, no, no, no I-" you cut him off with a finger against his lips, "I bet you jerked off every time we ran into one another, hm?"

"No," he answered, clamping down on his bottom lip.

"I know I'm an asshole and a freak, but you, Elliott?" in one swift motion, you had him pinned against the wall and your lips near his ear, "You're a dirty slut."

Elliott let out a groan and you felt his cock poke against yours, "Good boy," you chuckled and released your hold on him, "Now, either we leave now and risk public humiliation or we take care of our issues."

Elliott remained silent and gestured to his bed. You plopped down on it and sat still. The writer approached you and placed a surprisingly gentle hand on your cheek, "If we're going to do this," his forehead almost touched yours with how close he was, "Can you at least pretend to like me?"

"That can be arranged," you replied, replacing your smirk with a small smile, "I'll even throw in some kisses for you, how does that sound?"

Elliott nodded, "That's fine," he lowered his eyes to your lips, timid.

"Oh my Yoba, do I have to do everything?" you groaned and smushed your lips against Elliott's, kissing him feverishly. His moaning was muffled by the kissing, as you practically shoved your tongue down his throat. You kissed him like fire and ice, the cold indifference combined with the hot passion of the act itself.

"I gotta give it to you," you broke the kiss, much to Elliott's disappointment, "You taste good," the writer's cheeks flushed a deeper red, "I do?"

"Don't make me repeat myself," you spat. Elliott nodded dumbly, hands hovering above your thighs. You rose from the bed and pointed to your pants, "Take them off for me, pretty boy. I'm sure a dumb bitch like you is at least capable of that."

Elliott gulped and shifted towards your pelvis, knees on the ground and hands shaking while he unbelted and pulled down your pants. He stared at your cock, confined by your striped boxers. Annoyed by his delay, you snatched a fist full of Elliott's hair and tugged on it hard, "You know that I'm impatient."

Elliott's tears resumed at the sensation of his precious hair being pulled on so roughly, but he had to admit that the pain was a bit of a turn on. He pulled down your boxers, not wanting to make you more upset, and your cock sprung free from its prison, whacking Elliott in the face. Elliott recentered his focus and gawked at the sight of your exposed dick, his mouth watering.

"Yoba, are you really that desperate for my cock?" you teased, giving Elliott's hair another tug, "You're practically drooling for it like a bitch in heat," you playfully smacked your dick against Elliott's lips, "Open up, slut."

He opened his mouth, tongue out and eyes glossed over like the obedient man he was, "Good boy," you blew him a kiss and stuffed your cock inside, making him gag. A moan rattled through your vocal chords, "Shit, you got a great mouth," you cooed, "And Yoba, it's just a fucking blessing to see you- the next Ernest Hemingway, Pelican Town's beloved writer- in your right place, on your knees with a mouth full of filthy cock."

Elliott moaned shamelessly against your cock, your eyes rolling into the back of your skull from the vibrations. Soon, he began to suck it, his head slowly bobbing back and forth, as Elliott allowed more tears to escape his eyes. He felt your dick harden in his mouth when he started crying and resumed sucking.

Despite your hatred towards him, Elliott didn't really hate you back. In all honesty, he had a bit of crush on you. Sure, your cursing and impatience was a turn off, but the way you did the smallest acts of kindness like get Jas's jump rope out of a tree and relocating a spider to the outside from the saloon? Yoba, your soft side melted his heart.

Yet, here he was, mouth packed to the brim with his crush's cock and his own yearning for a release of its own. As Elliott slurped and gagged, he unzipped his pants and pulled his bottoms down enough to access his dick. He wrapped his hand around it and started stroking it, desperate for satisfaction.

"I bet you didn't think this would happen, huh?" you chuckled between moans, "I bet you're the kinda guy who only fucks after a nice candlelight dinner and sprinkles rose petals on your bed," Elliott tried to speak up, but his mind was too intoxicated from the lust and sensation of sloppy dick to say anything, "No need for that with me, though. I just want you as my personal fucktoy."

Elliott abruptly moaned, cum squirting from his cock and spraying the floor in white. A bit of cum got on your shoes and you removed Elliott's mouth from your cock, "You got cum on my fucking shoes!" you hissed to Elliott, "Clean it up."

Elliott reached to wipe it off with his shirt when you stopped him and held up your shoe to him, "With your mouth," his cock twitched at the command. With quivering lips, the writer stuck out his tongue and lapped the cum off your shoe, "I- I'm sorry," he apologized, "I didn't mean to..."

"Oh, I know," you gave him a reassuring pat on the cheek, "But I can't get enough of how good of a listener you really are, you should do this more often.

Elliott pouted and you grinned, "We're not done yet, finish what you started," the writer nodded and continued giving you a blowjob. As he sucked, almost deepthroating you at this point, Elliott looked up at you with almost doe-like, innocent eyes. You covered your eyes with one hand and placed the other on the wall behind you to stabilize yourself, Don't be cute, stupid.

Your dick twitched in Elliott's mouth and your mind went blank, only the need to climax present. You grabbed the back of Elliott's head and thrusted into his mouth. Drool spilled from the writer's lips, as you fucked his face without care, his mind overwhelmed with thoughts, feelings, and sensations of you.

"Fuck!" you tried your best to remain quiet, as you shot your load down Elliott's throat. The writer let out a choked moan and swallowed your cum. Now flaccid, you removed your cock from his mouth and let out a satisfied sigh. Elliott collapsed on the ground and laid there, his face stained with tears and cum.

You dressed yourself and joined him on the floor, "That was actually fun," you stated, much to Elliott's surprise. You kissed him lightly on the lips, "You better clean yourself before you go back outside but," you wiped off some cum and tears from his face, "Maybe we can do this again."

Elliott raised his eyebrows and despite being fucked out of his mind, he couldn't help but ask you, "Again?" his heart fluttered at the possibility of a second... outing.

"Yeah," you paused, "Maybe you're not as bad as I thought you were," you left Elliott with those final words before exiting the cabin, leaving a semi-nude Elliott drooling alone.

[writing-until-i-drop]

Wildflowers For A Hangman Ch. 14

Summary:

Daisy, a career novelist, moves in with her college best friend Phoenix who has been permanently assigned to Top Gun with Dagger Squad. She finds herself instantly connected with a cocky pilot who's soft only for her and Jake can't help but want to know everything about her. When the past comes knocking at both of their doors, will they stand together or fall apart?

Or: The Dagger Squad can't cook and Jake falls in love with a woman who makes a mean lasagna while they work their personal trauma.

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x writer!femOC | 18+ (eventually) minors dni. Fluff, smut (eventual), idiots in love, past trauma.

A/N: Daisy has a great time meeting Jake’s family but not everything is as it seems.

AO3 Link

Previous Chapter

“Hi there, sweetie,” The woman I recognized as Caroline pulled me into a hug, her older sister, Helen, was next. Both women were tall and blonde, sporting matching dimpled smiles and had the same green eyes as my boyfriend. Helen was slightly taller than Caroline, both of whom were absolutely beautiful in their casually cute clothjes.

“It’s so good to finally meet the woman who has little Jakey wrapped around her finger,” I blushed hard, chuckling softly.

“I don’t know about that but it’s nice to meet you too. Jake’s sorry he couldn’t make it,” Helen waved it off.

“We’re a Navy family, we get it.” 

“What we don’t get,” Caroline was grinning from ear to ear, grabbing my hand off of the table, squeezing it tight. “Is how someone as amazing as you settled for our brother.”

“Be nice,” Mama chided but Caroline was undeterred. I could see Jake in his family, their relentlessness, the way the corners of their eyes crinkled when they smiled, and the way they showed their affection through touch.

“You’re cute as a button and a famous author, Jakey says you’re a fantastic cook and an even better baker, the total package. So, how did he trick you into dating him?” 

“There was no tricking involved,” I laughed, I squeezed Caroline’s hand. “At first I thought he was a bit…” I trailed off, not sure what to say in front of his family but Helen swooped in with a laugh.

“Of an ass?” 

“I actually laughed in his face the first time he tried to flirt with me,” His sisters cackled in delight. “But he won me over. He listens to all my rambling, buys me lots of M&Ms, and makes me feel like the most important person in any room.” A wave of sadness washed over me, Jake’s absence suddenly ten times harder. “He was really excited to come,” I added softly, my smile faltering. Helen and Caroline shared a look then smiled at me,

“You really love him, huh?” Helen asked, I just nodded. “Well, then welcome to the family, Daisy.” No one said anything as I less-than-discreetly wiped away tears that pooled in my eyes, the conversation turning towards what we were all going to order. 

“You’re not a vegetarian, are you?” Mqama asked, I shook my head and she smiled. “Good, I have a roast on for dinner tonight. I meant to ask Jacob but then the specialist called.” The specialist? I didn’t pry, it wasn’t my business, but Jake had mentioned his father having health issues in the past, so I filed away the information for later. Surely they would have called Jake if it was about his father and Jake would have told me. 

“You know, rumor has it that you’re working on a romance book,” Helen said after we placed our orders.

“Really now?” I laughed, wondering whether it was my agent or my publisher that had started the rumor. They were both desperate for me to send pages of a romance novel and I would never put it past them to try and use fan-pressure to push me.

“I was at a book signing a few years ago, you said you’d never write anything but detective stories,” Caroline added, sipping her water. “Did something or someone maybe,” Oh God, they were worse than Jake, “Change your mind?” 

“I wouldn’t believe all the rumors you hear,” Is all I said, shaking my head. The sisters whined, Caroline sticking her bottom lip out. “I am working on a new series though.” 

“A romantic one?” Helen asked hopefully, frowning when I shook my head. “Come on, Daisy! We’re your sisters-in-laws, you can tell us you’re writing a romance book.” 

“Did I miss a wedding?” I laughed, cheeks hot at the idea of getting married to their brother. I knew if he was here, Jake would tell them the exact number of days between now and when he could propose. 

“The wedding is a technicality-” Helen waved it off.

“I think we all know Jakey is going to propose,” Caroline added, my blush getting hotter.

“Girls, he said not to tease her,” Mama chastised. “But we really do hope he proposes soon, Franklin proposed to me after a month.” A month in, I still wasn’t sure if Jake actually liked me, I thought with a smile, shaking my head.

“Isaac proposed to me after eight,” Caroline added. Helen shrugged,

“I proposed to Ray after two years, he was taking too long.” I raised my hand to where the dog tag chain rested around my neck, missing Jake. If he was here he’d probably have his hand on my thigh beneath the table, teasing Helen for proposing, teasing me about how much his family liked me, and whispering in my ear, asking if the one-year rule still stood. 

“I know he’s thinking about it,” I sighed, pulling the tags out of my shirt to hold them. “And when the time is right, I’ll say yes. Now, are you going to make me beg for embarrassing stories about my boyfriend?” 

Lunch went well, then Caroline and Helen insisted that we go shopping at some local boutiques. I picked up a sweatshirt with the town name on it, Jake would probably get a kick out of me wearing it, and I bought a box of homemade saltwater taffy that Caroline said was Jake’s favorite. After the last store, mama took me home, telling me more stories about Jake as we drove.

“Franklin, you can call him pops, might be taking a nap when we get inside,” Mama warned when we pulled into the driveway. The property was beautiful, the driveway must have been a mile long, lined with gorgeous scenery, horses, and cows. I had never seen anything like it and against all of my instincts, I could hear the whispers of a sweet-talking cowboy in my mind. 

“Nothing wrong with a good nap,” I laughed, “It must take a lot of energy to keep up with this place.” Mama patted my shoulder,

“How right you are, sweetheart. Let’s get your bags in the house,” The house was quiet when we entered and mama showed me to Jake’s old bedroom where I’d be staying. “Settle in, maybe take some time to write. Jacob said you were the type to appreciate alone time.” 

“You make it sound like he never stops talking about me,” Mama chuckled.

“That’s because he doesn’t, sweetheart.” Her words sunk into me as the door shut behind her, leaving me alone in Jake’s room. I shut the door, digging into Jake’s checked luggage that he had to abandon when he got called in and pulled on one of his sweatshirts, breathing in his familiar scent. 

“I wish you were here,” I whispered, crawling into his bed. The sheets were a similar green plaid to those he had on his bed back in California and the walls were covered with posters of baseball and football players. 

Daisy: I miss you 

I stared at the text for a long time before deleting it. Jake needed to focus on his mission, not on me. Instead I texted Penny, who had undoubtedly heard that the squad was being deployed through Mav.

Daisy: They’re going to be okay, right? 

Penny: Try not to worry, D. Hangman will do whatever he can to come home to you

Daisy: How do you do it?

Penny: When Mav flies, I trust that he’s an amazing pilot who knows he has people waiting on him at home, just like Hangman does

Daisy: When does it start getting easier?

Penny: I’ll let you know when I figure it out

I groaned, pulling the hood of Jake’s sweatshirt over my head so that I was surrounded by his scent. What had I been thinking, agreeing to meet Jake’s family alone? I was in way over my head, that was clear. Jake had warned me that his family was keen on us getting married and how excited they were to meet me but I hadn’t expected to feel this overwhelmed by it all. To be fair, I hadn’t expected to be alone either. 

“Jake Seresin,” I pulled the blanket over my head, “You better come home to me.” 

When I woke up from my nap the smell of pot roast had filled the house, I sleepily climbed out of bed and headed for the stairs. 

“What did the oncologist say?” Mama asked, her voice floating up the stairs. Oncologist? I froze. Jake hadn’t said what his dad was sick with but I knew enough about cancer to know it could come back. I finished going down the stairs, finding mama in the kitchen with a frail looking man  who resembled Jake and it was clear. 

Mama and the man I assumed was pops turned around and by their reactions, I knew my face was saying exactly what I was thinking. 

“Guess the cat’s out of the bag, Honey Bunny.” 

“You’re sick again, aren’t you?” My voice was soft, if his dad was sick, it would kill him. 

“This isn’t exactly how I planned on meeting you, Daisy.” Pops stood on shaky legs, crossing the kitchen to stand in front of me. He took my hands in his, “But yes, the cancer came back.” 

“I have to call Jake,” I reached for my phone.

“Don’t, please, Daisy,” Mama begged. “You can’t tell him, not if he’s deployed.” I paused, one hand held by pops, the other holding my phone. “If he gets upset and something happens-” There were tears all around when she said those words. “Please, don’t tell him.” 

She was right. If Jake’s emotions got the best of him while he was supposed to be focused on his mission, something bad could happen. And if something bad happened, his family would blame me and I wouldn’t be able to hold that against them because they’d be right. 

“Okay,” I held out my phone, not trusting myself with it. Mama took it then brought me into a hug, Pops joining in after a moment. 

X

“Stop grinding your teeth, you’ll give yourself a headache,” Phoenix shoved my shoulder. 

“Leave him alone, Phoenix. His girl is meeting his parents without him.” Rooster patted me on the back, “She’ll be fine, man. Your folks already love her.”

“I should be there,” I ground out. Javy shot me a look that told me to cool it. I loved being a pilot, I loved the Navy, and I loved Daisy. I should be there, holding her hand and suffering at the hands of my sisters. I should be showing her my favorite sweets shop, buying her more saltwater taffy than she could eat in a year, and sneaking kisses that would make her blush when my parents had their backs turned. 

“Mav said it was a quick hop, just focus on that,” Said Rooster and I prayed he was right because there was one place I needed to be right now and that was with my girlfriend.

Taglist: @dizzybee03 @littlezee80 @nervousenemyduck @carolina-on-my-mind03 @mizzzpink @beltzboys2015-blog @writingrose @hookslove1592 @closetspngirl @samanddeaninatrenchcoat

Next Chapter

[kerokreature]

Some Sinclair Headcannons because I have brain rot

These are Sinclair Brothers and Reader who cooks for them a lot

Enjoy

Bo

Absolutely lost his shit when he found out you know how to cook and cook well because of his little domestic fantasy

Begs you too cook for him and the family like. “Please Darlin’ can you make another pot roast.” “Please sweetheart can you just fix me something and bring it down into town?”

He’s a southern boy, which means you will absolutely absolutely be making him shit like okra? But especially since this Louisiana he’s going to lose it when you make things like Jambalaya, Crayfish, Étouffée etc

If you bake on top of it he’s gonna lose his shit.

Like I think he kinda subtly has a sweet tooth and especially likes snacks

So if you like bake cookies or something he can just munch on during the day? Game fucking over.

He’s going to be such a flirt when you’re cooking or baking

He’s going to be downright dirty bab out it

Regardless of gender he’s going to call his little house wife, emphasis on his.

He’s the most likely to gift you his mom’s old recipe cards

Lester

Coming in with the excited “Shit you can cook too!?”

Loves anything you make

Prepare to work with some road kill, boy straight up said it’s a waste of meat

But road venison is good as hell, you’re gonna be making deer steaks 10/10

He’ll be so gentle about his requests. “My possum do you think it’d be too much trouble to make some soup”

When you make it he’ll shower you in praise and gentle kisses, he’d be so excited, he would eat every bite

He’d be over excited if you ever packed him a lunch like

He’d just give you that big lop sided grin, turn those soft eyes on you and kiss your forehead. He’d be so so touched

He’s a good respectful southern boy so he wouldn’t go in your kitchen while you’re cooking.

If you also bake boy would he be excited, I picture him losing his mind for cakes especially

Like a rich chocolate cake that’s really spongy and some coffee?? Oh yeah that’s the life

Vincent

He would think it’s beautiful that you cook

He would love to watch you cook, he’d likely sketch you doing so

I feel like he’d bring you cookbooks and recipe cards

He’d be so delicate if you let him help, carefully handing you herbs and spices and watching the perfect mixture you’re creating

Even if you’re a chaotic ass cook (see: author) he’d think you’re perfect, that it’s even more of an art form that you can be so messy and make perfect food

He wouldn’t ever allow you to say something didn’t turn out right. You are not allowed to doubt your cooking, your art . He won’t have it.

He’d be gentle in shushing you, sighing at you that it’s perfect, and he’d make sure you saw him eat every last bite.

I don’t think he’d request things per se unless you asked him what he wanted and then he’d probably sign his response after some thought.

He’s shower you in affection over what you make him, and likely make you something as a gift in return

He doesn’t have as much of a sweet tooth as the other two but he’d still love if you bake

I think his favorite would be Beignets.

[ladykissingfish]

*Kakuzu wakes up in bed, feeling disoriented and groggy*

Kakuzu: What the — *groans and touches his forehead, where he discovers a cloth bandage* What the hell is this?

*Hidan walks into the room with a tray*

Hidan: Holy shit … you’re awake!

Kakuzu: H-Hidan? What happened? Why do I feel so strange?

Hidan: First of all, lay back down, old bastard. You ain’t been very well. You don’t remember what happened when we came back from that mission?

Kakuzu: No?

Hidan: *sets down the tray and kneels on the floor by Kakuzu’s pallet, sighing*

Hidan: We came back, and I told you that your skin was like, turning fuckin’ green. You said it was fine and that you just needed a bath. You got through the doorway, and out of no where you just passed out. Your big stupid head hit that table in the hall, that’s why you got a bandaid. Seriously ‘Kuzu you need to lose some weight, it took four of us to drag your ass in here! You —

Kakuzu: *closing his eyes* Just get to the point, brat.

Hidan: Anyways, puppet-dick looked at ya and took some blood and shit and he said you were poisoned. Probably that guy who gave us the bread when you dropped your bounty off to him. I TOLD you that fucker looked like a shitty asshole! That’s why I didn’t eat MY bread, but your cheap ass blows a fuse about “wasting food” and —

Kakuzu: Hidan.

Hidan: Right. So puppet-dick made ya some kinda antidote but he said it’d make you sleep for a while, til your body got rid of the fever or something. You been in here, being a pain in the ass, for almost a week.

Kakuzu, muttering: I’ve been out a week? Good lord … wait. These aren’t the clothes I was wearing before, right? Did you … did you change me?

Hidan, blushing and scowling: It ain’t a big deal, bastard. I’ve just been giving you little washings and I changed your dirty-ass clothes. So what?

Kakuzu: *looks at the tray and sees it contains a bowl of broth*

Kakuzu: Have … you been feeding me, as well?

Hidan:  … What? I was supposed to just let your dumbass starve to death?

Kakuzu: *is momentarily stunned silent at the implication that HIDAN has been taking care of him*

Kakuzu, managing to sit up and clearing his throat: That looks really good, and I’m hungry. My arms still feel a little weak; can you help me?

Hidan, blushing harder than ever: Y-yeah. I mean I guess since you’re old and weak I have no choice. *dishes up a spoonful of broth* Open wide, bastard.

*Hidan feeds Kakuzu quietly for a while*

Kakuzu, smiling: This is good. Konan is a fine cook.

Hidan: Tsk; I made this, asshole.

Kakuzu, surprised: You did? On your own?

Hidan: You say that like I’m stupid or something. Yeah, on my own. I made a roast and then strained it and added cream so that you could swallow. If there’s any left, when ya get better we can eat the actual meat. You —

Kakuzu: *reaches out and pulls Hidan into his arms, cradling him against his chest*

Hidan: O-Oi! Hey! Let go of me, old man!

Kakuzu: *ignores Hidan and kisses the top of his head* I love you, you insufferable brat.

Hidan: *smirks and allows himself to relax in Kakuzu’s arms* Love you too, you shitty old bastard.

Kakuzu: I’m a shitty bastard, eh? Well you know what? Your God is fake and your beliefs are garbage.

Hidan: Your money won’t last and your greed will send you to burn in hell for all eternity.

Kakuzu, pulling off Hidan’s shirt: Burn with me.

*the two start making out in-between trading more cutting insults*

Deidara, coming into the room with medicine sent from Sasori: God damn what the fuck is wrong with you two, hm?!

[jackalopesao3]

The Real Real Cocytus Hall Collapsed:

This actually gave me real insight as to why Solomon is culinary challenged. Fair warning: Solomon roast ahead! It’s all in good fun and this WW gave me a laugh! I do enjoy Solomon’s character a lot!

A plastic bag? In the oven?! You know what happens to plastic bags in the oven?! I feel like I can’t say anything because I mistook wax paper for cooking sheets and made my house super smoky once.

(They were melting chocolate.)

You set the chocolate on fire?! Chocolate isn’t hard to melt! I can’t bake very well but I help my mother and melting chocolate and butter is something even I can do. There are several different ways you can do it too. With the microwave, it’s pretty self-explanatory.

Now, you have likely burnt chocolate with your melted chocolate. Why can’t you just follow the directions?

But wait…this gets so much worse!

(Read More due to length)

Shadow newt intestines?! Muddy spice?! Did Barbatos say to add any of those? No!

In all fairness they could be legit Devildom food but they could also be alchemy ingredients (or, most likely, both).

Sir, this isn’t your science experiment!

We all know alchemy ingredients can have unwanted effects. Also, assuming muddy spice tastes…muddy? That with the newt intestines is not going to be a pleasant flavor for the dessert.

Isn’t it easier and quicker just to sift it than to recite a whole ass spell?! This is just arrogance. Magic isn’t always better. We already know some lingering magic gets mixed into whatever the old man cooks when he pulls stunts like this.

Delicious?!

Delicious?!

Get out of here with your deadass tastebuds, grandpa!

Magic can be an absolute must for sorcerers in their careers and yet be separated from cooking and baking. It doesn’t need to be in every aspect of your life, especially when proven time after time to cause disastrous results. Remember when your cooking sent MC back in time?!

Pics taken moments before disaster strikes.

Oh Luke, what was that noise indeed? I believe it was the death cry of any hope that MC had for a relaxing afternoon. No wait, that’s just the poor oven finally succumbing to probably centuries (I mean he’s stayed there before) of Solomon’s torture.

RIP Good Soldier - You fought bravely

Barbatos has the tired mom look. He didn’t need to use his powers to know this would happen. Someone please give this man a vacation.

Funny that you think there’s a kitchen left to check on, Barb. MC is probably trying to scramble out of the sinkhole that was once Cocytus Hall. The oven exploding probably opened up a rift in space/time.

(un)Fortunately, Luke, Solomon is immortal. He will live to torture us yet again with his cooking. 🤣

Conclusion: It’s not that he can’t cook, or that he’s clueless. Solomon’s hubris from being a sorcerer (magic will make it better!) and dependence on magic (I strongly believe he’s dependent on it at this point) are the reason for his disastrous dishes.

Solomon, you silly old man, I love you but you gotta get with the times and stop using magic for everything!