im-a-wizard-who-dont-crime

[im-a-wizard-who-dont-crime]

it wolfenoot

Oh hey tomorrow is Wolfenoot.

[im-a-wizard-who-dont-crime]

thanks google but i don't think i'm very interested in hearing what a youtuber named 'TheAlmightyLoli' has to say about politics in disco elysium. somehow

[im-a-wizard-who-dont-crime]

Women want one thing and it's quite obvious, A large affordable interconnected North American Rail Network

[im-a-wizard-who-dont-crime]

Random headcanon: the reason that Peach and Bowser don’t seem to get a lot of respect in some Super Mario games is because the Mushroom Kingdom is kind of a rural backwater and isn’t terribly important or influential politically, so people tend to regard Bowser as a C-list villain for being so hung up on such an insignificant conquest. Nobody really expects Bowser to be a serious threat – that would be like expecting a guy whose main claim to fame is repeatedly failing to conquer Wyoming to be a serious threat – so they get taken by surprise every single time.

[im-a-wizard-who-dont-crime]

my beautiful collection

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Hello little snake, I've come to enjoy your squirming

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your stupid little snake post showed up on my dash and i got exited because i only follow vore blogs and i thought it was voreposting with a cute petname but no it's just some herpetologist or whatever. i don't even follow you wtf

Sorry for ruining your clearly very catered tumblr experience.

[im-a-wizard-who-dont-crime]

i love when the “it is my god given right to remain miserable and take things personally. fuck you for making a post about the importance of drinking water. a bottle of dasani tried to kill me in the fourth grade” crowd and the “you guys are so stupid. you can actually cure every disease on earth with diet and exercise. no i’m not ‘lucky’ to be in ‘good health,’ i just take care of myself :) i have a superiority complex about this by the way” crowd start arguing. it’s a real unstoppable force v. immovable object situation

[im-a-wizard-who-dont-crime]

Random headcanon: the reason that Peach and Bowser don’t seem to get a lot of respect in some Super Mario games is because the Mushroom Kingdom is kind of a rural backwater and isn’t terribly important or influential politically, so people tend to regard Bowser as a C-list villain for being so hung up on such an insignificant conquest. Nobody really expects Bowser to be a serious threat – that would be like expecting a guy whose main claim to fame is repeatedly failing to conquer Wyoming to be a serious threat – so they get taken by surprise every single time.

[im-a-wizard-who-dont-crime]

go ahead

Attention wizards: I'm hosting another cookout. Tell me if you want to go and what you're bringing.

hopefully we don't have a repeat of last year where someone brought 15 clones to eat extra food but then they were allergic to something they all ate, then all the clones died and started fusing in the middle of the cookout and turned into a sentient flesh amalgam (who's also been missing for several months)

[im-a-wizard-who-dont-crime]

I don't think any of us are talking about fleshy

Attention wizards: I'm hosting another cookout. Tell me if you want to go and what you're bringing.

hopefully we don't have a repeat of last year where someone brought 15 clones to eat extra food but then they were allergic to something they all ate, then all the clones died and started fusing in the middle of the cookout and turned into a sentient flesh amalgam (who's also been missing for several months)

[im-a-wizard-who-dont-crime]

while you were attending therapy i was studying the blade

[im-a-wizard-who-dont-crime]

fake conversation talking animals

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Hey bro would you do me a platonic solid

[im-a-wizard-who-dont-crime]