#mwah mwah mwah kiss kiss kiss to all my friends

[pboogerswbb]

SO IT GOES - chapter 8

Paige Bueckers x oc Warnings: angst, panic attack/ptsd, descriptions of an abusive relationship Wordcount: 5.1K A/C: HEY MY BABIESSSS instead of talking about the game let's just read this chapter okay? okay. (would love to say this will cheer you up but prepare for some angst lol). anyway thank you for being patient with me AGAIN! i'll be real i've been feeling a little unmotivated bc of the anons i get rushing me and it's really getting to my head but i'm pretty sure most of them have disappeared and left are you all amazing lovely patient people so yay :)) ty for supporting me and this series ily mwah

-

Before London

“Good game, Paige,” Phee whispers into my ear as she hugs me tight. I’m standing next to Dorka, just done taking what felt like 500 pictures with her. I let out a self-deprecating laugh, raising my brows at the woman. Phee smiles with empathy, rubbing my shoulder, still sweaty and sticky from the game. 

“No one’s first game is good,” she comforts me. We’re standing in the middle of the court, people buzzing around us as the crowd makes its way out. From the corner of my eye I see Izara’s jet black hair set in perfect waves, joined by Trey standing next to her, hand on her lower back. A flash of jealousy shoots through my body watching the two of them, laughing as they walk through the crowd filming content. I didn’t want anyone touching her but me. Ever. I knew we were just supposed to be friends but it felt impossible. Whenever my eyes landed on her my soul burned, every part of me craving her in a way that I knew was more than just friendship, or even more than lust. 

“We went brick for brick huh?”

My blue eyes move from Izzie to Arike, her hand squeezing my shoulder. The woman was right, neither of our shots had gone in. Neither of us had found a pace or confidence to support one another. It was almost embarrassing. No, it was definitely embarrassing. Especially when I saw my dad’s face in the crowd, hissing to himself when I missed both my free throws. The only thing that could make me feel better now was getting to take Izara, no interruptions, no thoughts, just me and her.

Flipping her hair over her shoulder, Zari’s eyes lift and land on mine. With a softened gaze, I let out a sigh of relief, swimming in her green eyes lined with black as time seems to slow down around me. The other people might as well not exist. It’s only her.

“Yeah,” I chuckle quietly to Arike, pushing through her and the rest of the crowd, urgent steps just wanting to feel the dark haired girl. She’s alone now, holding a notepad, standing in the middle of the court surrounded by crowds of people, sounds of chatter echoing around the arena. 

“Paige-” Izzie mumbles as I reach her, but with a simple look I silence her, hand wrapping into hers as I pull her behind me off the court, away from everyone. The corridors are quiet, dim, yet I navigate them with ease. The sounds of the crowd turn muffled, the noise of our heavy breathing and hurried steps overtaking them. My heart pounds in my chest, weakened body ready for surrender.

I pull us into a darkened unlocked room, some sort of storage I guess but I’m too busy to look around and make sure. As the door closes I push her against it in the dark, my sweaty body still in the brand new, strange jersey, pressing into Izara. I’m barely conscious of kissing her, my body working before my head can. But I feel starved, tongue meeting hers as our lips collide.

“Wait, wait,” Iz mumbles breathlessly, but I don’t hear it. The pounding in my chest too loud in my head. My hands travel from her waist to her hips, squeezing the skin as I slot my thigh between her legs.

“Paige…” the girl mumbles with a whimper, a raspy moan spilling from my lips against hers.

“Please baby,” I murmur, feeling like I could cry from how overwhelming the ache in my body is growing. Stirring within me are all the feelings combining into one - disappointment, failure, sorrow, longing, want. I wanted to bury them all into the girl in front of me.

I’m kissing her neck now, my fingertips slipping underneath her top. Her bare brown, silky skin feels smooth and delicate.

“Paige, stop.”

“Huh?” I ask, nose nuzzling her skin, inhaling.

“Stop, please.”

Confused, I pull back, my hands resting on her waist as Izzie’s green eyes avoid my gaze, looking around the dim room.

“Are you okay ma?” I ask, attempting to calm down my breathing.

Izzie’s brows are furrowed and she licks her lips, a soft sigh escaping her mouth.

“We have to talk.”

“Bro, I just played the worst game of my career, let’s talk after,” I chuckle sarcastically. “Need you baby.”

I lean down to kiss her neck again but Izzie’s manicured hand is on my chest, holding me back. Her eyes are rounder than usual as she stares up at me.

“Paige, we really need to talk. Now.”

She’s serious. I can tell she is. Without thinking the first thought I have slips my mouth.

“Is it Jasper?” I ask, pulling my hands off her body.

There’s a moment of silence. I can barely see her face sink in the dark, eyes slowly growing used to the lack of light. Izara rolls her eyes and turns to step out of the room but my hand is on the handle before she can reach it.

“Ma,” I murmur, pressing my front into her back.

“You can’t call me that anymore Paige,” she sighs, back facing me.

My heart sinks, my mind trying to wrap around what she’s saying. The implications of what the words might mean. I pray to God I’m wrong.

“Whatchu mean Iz?” I ask, voice beginning to shake with anxiety. The girl turns around, chewing on her bottom lip - something I had never seen her do.

“We can’t do this anymore.”

There it is. What I was dreading. I’m glad it’s dark, that the girl doesn’t see my eyes begin to well up. Why would I cry? We had never been anything. We’d never even fucked. So why did I feel like my heart was about to break?

“Whatchu mean this?” I ask, it takes every bit of my concentration to maintain a steady voice.

The dark haired girl sighs, eyes roaming me for a moment. “I could get fired,” she whispers. “If we got caught.”

“Who gives a shit?” I ask, scoffing. She could always get a new job. I thought I’d be worth more. But then again why would I be? She was the one who said it was just sex. Except it hadn’t even had the chance to be that.

“You must be joking,” Izara jeers, finally pushing me off her. “You are so selfish.”

She’s reaching for the door handle but I hold it shut. I can’t have her leave like this.

“Bro no I didn’t mean it like that,” I sigh. I always had a habit of speaking before I thought it through when my feelings took over. “I just… I’m having a hard time getting what you’re tryna say.”

“What I’m saying,” she starts. “Is that we can’t keep fooling around anymore.”

She takes a deep sigh. “Actually, I don’t know if it’s so smart for us to be friends anymore Paige.”

The panic sets in, my heart beginning to pound at a rapid rate.

“Wh-what? The fuck you mean we can’t be friends?”

“I mean from now on we should keep our relationship strictly professional.”

Her voice is so cold, calculated, that it’s almost like it doesn’t even matter to her. That it doesn’t phase her one bit. 

“Is that what you want?” I ask sternly, mirroring the coldness of her voice.

“I-” the girl starts. “I can’t lose this job. I can’t go back to London.”

“Aight.”

I walk out.

And just like that I lose my best friend. My only friend in all of Texas. Sure I had Arike, I had Lou and I had the team. But she was my only friend, the only one I felt like I could truly talk to, who truly got me. And I lost her. Just like that.

-

Need paige to look at me like that fr

yoooooo paige ntm

BOAFFFF who that next to Paige???

Paige got a starin problem

PAIGE IN LOVE WITH THAT GIRL ARE YOU KIDDING

My eyes skim through comment after comment under the video filmed before Paige’s first game in the Wings. We hadn’t been as slick as we thought. In hindsight it was obvious, the way Paige’s blue eyes roamed my body with that sly smirk, the way my cheeks flush red when my eyes met hers. God, I can’t believe I had been behaving like that, right before my peers. The people I worked with. In a public video. I felt so embarrassed. It just wasn’t me. That had been a couple weeks ago now though.

“Zari, stop reading the comments sweetheart,” Trey chuckles, resting a hand on my shoulder. I sigh, putting the phone down and groaning.

“We should just delete it.”

“Nah,” the man says. “Would be weird to delete it now.”

I sigh, looking up at him. His hand comes to my chin, holding my gaze. “Linda’s not gonna read em.”

“You sure?” I ask carefully. Trey nods, brushing a strand of hair off my face. It annoys me, but I don’t know how to reject his touch.

“You ready to head home?” He asks.

“I can take an uber Trey,” I murmur, pulling away from him finally, unease stirring in my stomach. 

“C’mon, I don’t mind driving you.”

“You sure? it’s out the way for you.”

“Let’s go home Zari.”

We walk to the car, Trey’s voice echoing in the hallway but I barely hear him, the faint sound of Paige’s voice laughing on the court making its way into my ears and taking me out of whatever the man next to me is trying to say. The weight on my chest makes it hard to breathe. I fan myself, trying to help the airflow.

Other than the occasional talk regarding media work, or the rare interview on TikTok I hadn’t spoken to Paige for 13 days. Not more than a hello, or a “good game” after a night of watching her on the court. When we met in the apartment stairway there barely was an awkward smile as we passed each other. I missed her badly. 

I had realised I hated Dallas, I hated the fake niceness of the Americans, I hated the heat that had grown unbearable in the past couple weeks. But I loved my job. I loved working with the sport I loved. I was good at it. I think everything would be better if I found a position with another team, but it would be risky to ask around. I was in a rut, my only friend was Trey.

The entire drive home is silent on my part as I stare out the window at the other cars. Driving home used to be my favourite part of the day. I felt giddy as Paige opened the door for me, as we took turns picking songs to play. I felt my heart drop everytime we said bye. I found myself sitting in my living room staring at the living room, thinking about her afterwards. Her blue eyes, the way she looked at me as if I was the only person on the planet. How her gentle grazes felt on my brown skin. 

So I repeat that routine, urgently saying bye to Trey and hurrying into my apartment. Closing the door and plopping myself down on the couch, staring at the wooden shelf decorating the otherwise blank wall in silence. The shelf Paige put up for me.

As I’m five minutes into my staring ritual a strange faint thumping noise reaches my ears, distant but clear in a steady rhythm. It’s coming from above. It’s coming from the blonde’s apartment. No doubt.

Just as I stand up to walk around and listen to the sound further, high pitched whimpers and gasps reach my ears. It doesn’t take more for the nauseating mental image of what’s happening in the apartment above to pop into my head. These walls were thick too, no noise, stomping, or music came through. Ever. It felt like torture. The stirring thoughts of what Paige was doing to some girl, lying on top of her, pinning her down. The way she was on top of me. The way I nearly got to have her.

“Fucking shit,” I mumble to myself, shaking my head as I rummage my bag for my headphones, turning the first song I find on a volume that might make me go deaf. Good. Anything to cover up the noise.

-

I hated Dallas. I had somehow convinced myself for a brief, fleeting moment that it wasn’t so bad. I was wrong. I hated it here. I had begun to dread every game. I was in a rut. I had no idea how to get out. My first two weeks in the league had been disastrous. Thank the Lord for Arike, for she had taken me under her wing, motivating me to stay consistent, challenging me in practice to do my best. But in front of the crowd, in front of all the players I grew up watching and admiring, I bricked up. 

Chris was an angel. Telling me I’d get over it as long as I didn’t give up. I wasn’t a quitter and I found comfort in the fact that other freshmen had a hard start to the season as well. Except Olivia Miles who had been hustling like crazy in the Storms. She earned it, but still the competitive side of me was drowning in jealousy. That was supposed to be me. I needed to be the rookie of the year. But this rut was taking all the joy out of me. I know what Geno would be saying. That I’m throwing myself a pity party and I needed to get over it. And once again I’d hate to admit that he’s right.

It took every ounce of strength I had to stay away from Izzie. To not gaze at her when she appeared in the corner of my eye, to not yearn for her presence when I lay in the dark at night, to not inhale as deeply as humanly possible every time she passed me. It felt like torture to pretend nothing happened between us.

To my demise it wasn’t just her body I longed for. It was her giggles, her stern stares when I played too much, it was her existence that I missed the most. Her weight on the opposite end of the couch, her quiet humming as she sat in the passenger seat of my car. It was killing me to stay away from her. Killing me. The only momentary relief I found was hooking up with other girls, but the moment it was over I always wanted them gone as quickly as I could.

“I’m sitting next to you okay?” Lou murmurs as us Wings pile into the airplane, moving in a slow line towards our seats.

“Good, I’mma need to take a nap,” I mumble, my voice hoarse and tired. We’re flying out to Chicago for a late night game, forcing us to catch a 5AM flight. Inhumane working conditions, I swear.

Somewhere behind me Izara is whispering to someone, her voice immediately recognisable to me even as a faint sound. My stomach turns as I grind my teeth together to distract from the desire to flip my head and look at her just for a moment. I slide myself into my seat next to the window, but as Lou is about to follow after, Chris stops her.

“Sorry, I know it’s early but Trey said they got an idea for some media stuff for you Paige. You don’t mind right?” Chris asks, holding Lou back and looking around. Before I can stop him or resist, he’s waving someone over. “Zari! You can do it now!”

The dark haired girl’s eyes widen as she looks around, trying to find someone to replace her. There’s no one. I want to die and from the look on the girl’s face, so does she.

“Just come sit next to Paige, c’mon, don’t be shy,” Chris chuckles, clearly unaware of how close we used to be. Good, at least we fooled someone. He might’ve been the only one we fooled.

Izzie looks as classy and elegant as ever, holding a beige trench coat in her hands, wearing boots and a champagne coloured satin skirt, hair and makeup done to perfection even at 5AM, standing out in a sea of messy hair and hoodies. I can tell she’s uneasy as she passes Chris and Lou, whispering a sorry to the brunette girl. I immediately stand up out of an old habit, pointing to my seat.

“You want the window one?” I ask gently, quietly, so no one hears my voice shaking.

Her green eyes twinkle as she looks everywhere but me, smiling awkwardly. “No, thank you though. I’m fine here.”

We sit down together, the heat radiating off her shoulder nearly rubbing against me making my eyes flutter shut just for a second. This better be quick or I might explode.

“Uh ok,” I mumble, watching as she sets her purse down and pulls out that notepad full of lists, mind maps and schedules that she always carries around. “Soo�� how you been?”

“Just fine,” she whispers absentmindedly, looking for the right page. “I mean, good. I’ve been good. And you?”

The way she talks to me causes an ache in my heart, the coldness of her tone as if we were nothing more than co-workers. I guess that’s all we were now.

“I’m fine,” I reply with equal distance in my voice. “So whassup?”

“Well me and Trey,” of course her and Trey. All she did nowadays was walk around with him, giggling and whispering, letting Trey guide her by the small of her back. “We thought the fans might like it if you filmed a sort of game day vlog today. Would that be okay?”

I sigh, the tiredness not helping the pregame anxiety already making my chest tight. “Uhh, today?”

“I know, it’s going to be such a long day,” Zari mumbles, her eyes meeting mine, suddenly filled with empathy. “I’m sorry.” I think she might mean more than just today. I think she means us.

For a moment we stare at each other, and I think I see a hint of longing in her eye, but it soon disappears when Trey plops himself on the aisle seat on the other side of Izzie.

“How are we doing here ladies?” He asks, looking at the dark haired girl, bringing his hand to squeeze Izzie’s knee. Pulling my hand into a fist, I quickly look away, body trembling with jealousy. I hated Trey. I hated how he touched the girl I was meant to be with.

“We’re good Trey,” Izara smiles softly, but moves her leg further away from the man.

“You sure Zari?”

His tone softens, hand following the girl's knee despite the clear sign she doesn’t want to be touched by him. I grind my teeth together trying not to intervene. I know if anyone it’s Izzie who can handle herself.

“Trey,” the girl sighs. “We’re just fine. I’ll show Paige what to do and come sit with you, okay?”

She’s annoyed. I can tell because I knew her, really knew her. Trey doesn’t.

“Okay, I’mma go to my seat,” Trey smiles, waving bye to me. I barely lift my hand in response.

“Dude’s persistent,” I mumble, watching as he walks away. Iz scoffs, returning to her notepad. 

“I’m not sure what you mean,” she murmurs. I scoff too, leaning back on the seat and spreading my legs further to feel Izara’s calf against mine. She doesn’t move, matter of fact I think she presses back just the tiniest bit.

“I mean that guy wants you bad,” I whisper.

Izara’s green eyes flicker to mine for a moment, before she rolls them. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I thought Linda didn’t like y’all dating coworkers.”

“She doesn’t.”

“Then why you letting Trey feel you up and shit?”

“Paige,” Zari warns me with a quiet scoff. Her eyes are stern. I know she means it. But I can’t help the jealousy stirring in me.

“If you into him you shoulda just said.”

“Paige!” She scoffs, eyes widening in shock at my attitude. I’m taking it too far, but I felt overwhelmed with everything going on in my life. And it’s not like I was ruining our friendship, it was already ruined.

So I don’t answer or back down. I stare straight into her green eyes, not looking away. Izzie’s entire face hardens as she rolls her eyes and is about to stand up, I assume to switch seats just as the seatbelt light turns on.

“You gotta sit do-”

“I know!” She huffs. I had never seen her composure crack this much out in public. It gave me a sick kind of satisfaction, to know I was getting under her skin. 

We sit in silence, the girl tapping her foot nervously as the plane begins to move towards the runway. Iz chews on her lower lip, fingers scratching her arms, eyes shut. She’s anxious.

“You okay?” I ask, softening my voice a little. 

The girl sighs, eyes fluttering open. “I hate the takeoff.”

I nod, watching Izara closely. Not sure what to say as we begin to accelerate for the ascend, I offer my hand to her. Without hesitation, the dark haired girl grabs it. I feel like I might burst into tears, realising just how bad I had missed her soft hand in mine, her gentle fingers grazing against my skin. As the plane takes off Izzie’s fingers tighten around my fingers, long nails digging into my skin. I don’t mind. Matter of fact I hope she draws blood, I hope she leaves scars and marks me forever. So she can be a part of me and my existence until I die.

She doesn’t let go until the seatbelt light turns off.

-

“Fucking shit!” I groan to myself, slamming the bench in the dressing room. Another shit game. Not for everyone, we won. But for me. And I couldn’t blame the coaching, I couldn’t blame the team, I couldn’t blame anyone but me. I felt livid. Furious. I couldn’t believe this was how my story had turned out. This couldn’t be God’s plan for me. It wasn’t right. 

What made it even worse was the online discourse. The comments and the noise had become too much. I couldn’t open Twitter or TikTok without seeing comments of how I fell off, of how Uconn ruined me, how I had officially flopped. That I’d always be the girl who peaked in college.

“Fuck,” I hiss to myself as I feel Arike’s hand come to my shoulder and squeeze comfortingly as she passes me - a wordless comforting gesture that had become routine for us. She knew I wasn’t in the mood to talk after games like that.

“I’mma get some air,” I mumble, fully aware that I was behaving like a toddler who couldn’t get her way. I couldn’t help it. It was like I was out of my body, watching as I pull the jersey off in frustration and throw it behind me on the floor, walking out of the dressing room with a slam of the door.

“Ow!” Izzie’s screams as she bumps into my chest. Hard.

“Shit!” I yelp, grabbing her shoulders.

The dark haired girl chuckles softly, clearly unaware of my bad mood. “Hey, I was just looking for you. I was going to suggest that you-”

“Iz, no offense but not right now,” I groan as I walk past her, trying to keep the anger bubbling right beneath the surface in check. It wasn’t working, I could feel myself wanting to explode, skin itching and feeling hot.

“Oh,” she hums, following after me. “I’m sorry… Is there something I can do?”

“Fuck, Zari! Just leave me alone!”

My voice echoes back to me in the empty hallways. The scream is harsh, mean. I never call her Zari. I would never yell at her like this. I can’t believe myself. It immediately takes me out of my anger, and in that moment I turn over to see her.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, Iz-”

-

“Shit, I’m so sorry, Iz-”

The room is spinning, my pulse rushing into my head. I hear the thumping of my heartbeat in my ears. Cheeks growing hot. I might be sick. I can feel my hands trembling - no, not my hands. My whole body. Without letting the blonde finish her apology, I walk off. I don’t hear anything but the pounding in my head.

Every raised voice I heard nowadays had me struggling. Ever since my engagement I couldn’t handle being screamed at. Something about the yelling fits Jasper got into had left a permanent mark on me. I could feel my palms sweating as I walk away from Paige aimlessly, unsure where I was going. Unaware of the blonde following after me until her clammy hands grab my shoulders.

“Izzie, I’m sorry, I dunno why I yelled ma,” she says remorsefully but it barely registers. In the midst of some sort of panic attack I try to fan myself, my clothes suddenly seeming too tight and overstimulating against my skin. I can feel the seams digging in, the tags rubbing into me irritatingly. 

“Izzie you okay mama?”

My breathing grows shallower, head increasingly spinning more and more. Suddenly I feel hands wrapping around my body and pulling me into a tight hug, warm breath tickling in my ear.

“Breathe. Breathe with me Izzie,” her comforting, hoarse voice whispers. I feel her body expanding against mine as she takes slow, deep breaths. Focusing on the feeling I follow her pattern of breathing, now and then breaking into fast gulps of air only calmed down by Paige, reminding me to focus on her breathing as she rubs my back gently. Eventually the feeling of being unable to breath passes, replaced by utter exhaustion and lingering sadness. My body melts into Paige’s, molds against hers perfectly as we sit there and embrace. As the blonde begins to pull away I realise I don’t want her to let go of me. So I wrap my arms around her waist and tighten my hold of her. She gets the hint and embraces me for another five minutes or so. Until distant steps echo around the corridor.

“Someone’s coming,” I whisper, realising I’d been crying when I hear my own voice, shaky and soft. 

Paige pulls back just enough to look around before pulling me into a random room. The fluorescent lights of the bathroom are bright compared to the dim corridor. I blink my tears away as Paige sits me down on the edge of the sink, never letting her hands fall of me. They rub comfortingly as she chases my gaze, a sad look in her eye.

“Are you okay?”

I nod. I’m not, but better than earlier. Better now that she was here with me.

Paige sighs, shaking her head to herself. “I’m so fuckin’ sorry I yelled, I didn’t mean to I was just-”

“No, I understand,” I nod. It had been hard to watch the first couple weeks of Paige’s time with the Wings. I knew how bad she needed a win for herself, how badly she deserved it. I could tell it was wearing her down. “Was a bad game.”

“Yeah but I never woulda yelled if I knew you freaked out like that.”

“I know,” I nod, sniffling a little. Paige grabs some toilet paper and hands it to me. I offer her a weak smile as I pat the tears off my cheeks. “I just…”

A deep sigh. I had never talked about this with anyone.

“My last relationship was really… just shit, yeah?” I explain. Paige furrows her brows, and I can tell she’s really listening. Really understanding how important this was for her to hear.

“And, he yelled a lot. Threw things, hit things, he never touched me but he’d break dishes and explode over the smallest things and somehow always make me out to be the bad guy. The one who needed to apologise- well anyway, ever since then I just… I can’t handle yelling. At all.”

Paige’s blue eyes blink at me as she nods, understanding. There’s a veil of sadness over her face.

“I know I overreacted. I’m sorry Paige,” I mumble meeting her gaze but immediately the blonde shakes her head.

“No, fuck, I’m sorry Iz,” she sighs licking her lips. “I’m never raising my voice around you again. I pr-”

“No, it’s just something I need to learn to live with,” I resist but Paige shakes her head again, more sternly now.

“I promise. Never, okay?”

We look at each other for a moment. I wish I could tell her how badly I missed her. But like reading my mind Paige’s mouth opens.

“I miss you so bad.”

My heart nearly stops. I missed her more than anything. Just her presence, her closeness, her stupid jokes, the car drives. Everything.

“Me too,” I admit. “But nothing’s changed Paige.”

“I know,” Paige murmurs, fingertips coming to play with the ends of my hair as she remains standing between my legs. I usually didn’t like anyone touching my hair after I’d done it. But something in this moment had me not caring.

“Maybe,” I start but then shake my head. Horrible idea. But Paige is eager for any solutions to our little problem. Well not so little, it had consumed me.

“No, tell me. Please Iz, c’mon,” she speaks in that soft tone that always drove me wild. 

“I don’t know if it’ll work Paige.”

“Please mama, I’ll do anything. Just don’t wanna lose you. Need you in my life too bad right now.”

The two words are enough for me to fold.

“We could be friends. But that’s all it can ever be. Nothing more. Just friends,” like I said, a horrible, impossible idea. Even now my body was burning for her, her hands on my lower back leaving sparks on my skin.

Paige thinks for a while and then nods. “Then we’re friends.”

“Paige, are you sure we can be just friends?”

The blonde nods, meeting my eyes again. “I told you, I’ll be anything you need me to be.”

Fuck.

“I’mma be your friend. Till you want more. I’mma wait.”

“Paige-”

“Just say the word Iz and I’ll be more.”

She’s serious, her face hard as she looks at me.

“But for now friends, yeah?” Paige asks, thumb brushing a strand of hair that I’m not sure was even there off my cheek. Friends, what a terrible idea.

“Yeah. Friends.”

-

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[leejungjaes]

What are your personal favorites from squid game S2?

what a fantastic question, anon!

this might be a little 457 centric but like...i mean do you blame me?

so!

my first is 100% the confrontation between gi-hun and the recruiter. i absolutely adore the russian roulette moment when he clicks the final time on the gun and the recruiter knows he's about to die and gi-hun taunts him like 'can you do it you coward' and he just blows his brains out. cinema gold.

the second is the moment when in-ho makes his debut in the game and he storms down the middle to press the button and he just slowly turns to the gamers and his gaze is laser focused on gi-hun and i just...LOOK AT HIM:

the smirk is cinematic and deserves a billion awards.

i really enjoyed the mingle game scenes to be honest, one of my favourite parts and favourite games because it was bloody brutal as hell, a bloodbath, but it had a lot in development for the characters with a lot of realisations and again that one shot when gi-hun is watching the players get shot and in-ho is just staring at him so intently watching every micro reaction, watching that defeat. just *mwah* chefs kiss.

in-ho shooting one of his guards because he tried to kill gi-hun like bloody excuse the fuck out of me dude like. whoa mama.

the pissed off, 'dude i thought we had something special' look when gi-hun chose jung-bae over in-ho to go up to the front man quarters. im 100% convinced in-ho had a plan in place and gi-hun ruined it all by choosing his bestie over his boyfriend so yeah. pure gold.

and FINALLY - the last scene. it's absolutely awful, it's so diabolic because it's cold blooded murder in essence and he further traumatises gi-hun by killing his best friend in front of him but it's just such good tv because every single thing in-ho did was to pull and push gi-hun like a little doll and he just throws everything up in the air and cuts all his losses by faking his persona's death and he won't kill gi-hun, he can't kill him, but he can punish him in the only way he can and that's killing everyone around him till he's the last one standing.

[grichel]

tagged by @cynda-queer :)

People You’d Like to Get to Know Better Tag Game

Three Ships:

Decho - This is the ship between my character Echo and @aprobleminthegarden’s character Des for @messianicfigure’s dungeon world campaign. We took a long break from playing and decided to do a timeskip when we started again. Steph and I talked about doing a slow burn romance between our characters who ostensibly dislike each other, but have each come to harbor secret feelings they’re too stubborn to own up to. And I got to surprise everyone by having Echo come back from the timeskip with a shitty evil boyfriend! And it turns out Des spent the break traveling with Echo’s twin sister and they’ve gotten close in a way that irks Echo. The girls are pining and jealous!!

Neuvifuri - This is the ship between the genshin characters Neuvillette and Furina, and after the most recent archon quest, I’ve been obsessed with them. They’ve been partners for 500 years but now they’re divorced. Furina is keeping her distance because she thinks Neuvillette hates her now, and Neuvillette wants her back hard but is trying to respect her space. If you follow me here and like genshin but haven’t followed my side blog, it’s @neuvifuri :)

Drowley - This is the ship between supernatural characters Dean and Crowley. Just finished season 10 and I can’t believe how much they fucked. What the hell. Crowley is whipped. What the hell. What the fuck. Canon kings!

Last Film: Spy Kids on Thanksgiving with the beloveds 💕

Currently Watching: Legend of Korra, taking a break from the supernaturals, gotta pace myself

Currently Reading: The Sunlit Man by Brandon Sanderson, if you count reading chapters intermittently as “currently reading,” it’s going slow

Currently Consuming: Mallomars, I recently get an intense craving for these cookies from my childhood and have now burned through two boxes.

Currently Craving: More mallomars. Box three imminent.

Tagging: @aprobleminthegarden @messianicfigure @bryoria @kirnet @nsewell @wormthatwalks @wormsoft98 @blackthornass @realpersonfacts @lesbianblackphillip and anyone else who wants, no pressure as always 💕

[gregoryeddiesgoldchain]

i love abbott wednesday but i also adore the equally important abbott thursday when i talk incessantly about this show with all of you 🫶🏾

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

rewatching dead poets society for the first time in 4 years and i had to pause to make this it came to me in a Vision:

[iholli]

if I'm not thinking about my selfships I'm thinking about my friends' selfships (my otps)

[teddybeartoji]

WEEEEEEEE HIIII MICKEY SELFSHIP ASK GAME TIMEEEEEEEE :3333333

🛏️ for toji, ☕️ for suguru, and 💡 for sukuna :33 AND !!!!!! bc i am starting bsd (shhhhhh say nothing) 🧇 for dazai and 🌤️ for chuuya :333

I LOVE YOUUU GO TO BED STINKY (kisses you) SLEEP WELL MY DARLING MICKEY MWAH MWAH MWAAAHHH

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MICKEY SELFSHIP TIMEEEEEEEE:3333333

🛏: who wakes up first? what do they do when they first wake up?

HE'S A BIT MORE LIKELY TO WAKE UP FIRST ACTUALLYY!!!!!!!!! and yes he will one hundred percent just stare at me sooo so fondly lmao this fucking sap..... (i love him sm my heart is abt to explode) probably also laughs at the way my hair is EVERYWHERE and at the way i'm . drooling SMHHHHHHHHH he also likes to trace my features and to just play with my hair he needs to stim a little okay,, i'm pretty sure he also tries to count my freckles every once in a while bc he needs to make sure they're all still there<3333333333

☕️: do y’all make coffee or tea? what do they put in their coffee/tea?

HE BOUGHT US A FANCY COFFEE MACHINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he always makes the drinks bc he knows best lmao i can't even argue with that bc sometimes i put too much sugar into my coffee and sometimes i put too little and he always does it perfectly idk how the fuck he manages to do that but yeah . he will either get himself a black coffee ooooorr a cup of earl gray!!!!!!!!!!!! he typically uses just like One cube of sugar or a bit of honey for the tea and he thinks me trying his bitter fucking drinks is so amusing sighhhhh he's a little shit.... no but srsly every time he makes the coffee (well ig the machine makes the coffee but whatever) it's theeeeeeeeeeeeeeee most delicious thing and it instantly makes everything better i love it sm (i love him)

💡: do they ever get bedhead? do you get bedhead?

SUKUNA WITH BEDHEAD PLEASEEEEGASDHSAHGDHGASHG HIS HAIR IS SO UNRULY HELLO SOMETIMES IT'S JUST STICKING STRAIGHT UP IT'S CRAZY it makes me laugh so fucking hard lmao and then he lunges at me he will throw me over his shoulder and just carry me to the showerhgashgdsaghdghas I AM SAFE FROM THE BEDHEAD CURSE THOUGHH and thank fuck for that i know he'd have a full album of pics of me otherwise lmao

🧇: do they cook breakfast? or do you? what breakfast?

i hate to say it but . he can cook way better than he seems okay... he's the one who makes the coffee for us and then he'll ask whether i want to cook this time knowing full well that i do not lmao he thinks he's so funny ANYWAY he'll probably make us some french toast bc i really like that aaand then he'll keep stealing bites out of my fucking toast like an idiot smhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (he has my heart)

🌤: are either of you morning people? if not, what’s your pick me up?

QUINNNTHIS IS THE MOST PERFECT QUESTION FOR HIMMMM EEEEEEE I'M GIGGLING HE'S SOOOO GRUMPY IN THE MORNINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! though it takes me a while to fully wake up, i still consider myself a morning person lmao so i always tease him for being clingy in the mornings hehehehe he's glued to my back while i brush my teeth and that's IF i can even manage to get the both of us out of the bed............................ anyway i think he's extra cute like this i love it sooo so much like he scrunches his nose up when i pepper his face with kisses to wake him up and AUUUGGHHHHHHHHH he's my baby

morning selfship asks<3333333

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Thank you for continuing to wupply us with old man bald charles. He is such a precious gift, and you are a gift thst keeps on giving. Also your old man bald Charles is so pretty I wanna smooch his shiny dome globe of a head 😭💖💓💖 and your xmen97/comic cherik are so wonderful i fucking kove them ahfjsjxj i love your art so much. I look at them before I sleep cuz I like using them like a doll in my head for my dreams. I make cherik kith (and maybe more?? 😳) in my dreams ajdhsjdj

I'm sorry for being incoherent it's my bedtime but i just had to drop in your ask to tell you you are an amazing and talented artist. And your art are so well made and detailed and i love them asjfkakfk 💖💖💖💖💖💖

MY LOVELY FRIEND i hope your slumber is wonderful and darling like this ask you've sent me THANK YOU SO MUCH 🥺!!!!!!

[owensarrows]

What are the limitations of friendship but a normalized social construct ?

I shall kiss my friends if we so desire, thank you very much

[deerabigailhobbs]

Hello friend!

I’ve been rebloging your amazing thoughts for a bit and have finally worked up the nerve to send an ask!

I absolutely adore your Abigail thoughts and need more! I love your headcanon that she would do art (adamgail photography siblings real (at least in my brain)), but what do you think she would do for a job once she got older? (she definitely does don’t look at canon)

I think that her saying she wanted to join the fbi was inspired by her experiences in the show. If she really did want to, I cannot see her being a special agent, maybe one of the science jobs.

Anyways! As the resident Abi expert I’m curious if you have any thoughts!

Hello friend!

First of all, never be nervous to send an ask, DM or anything, and this goes for everyone! I am simply just a gal, and they truly do make my day :D

As for jobs, definitely somewhere in the sect of helping others. In my opinion, an integral part of her character is trying to make a right from her wrongs, it's why she wanted to join the FBI and show she's not like her father (like you mentioned!)

If we take her art skills into consideration, maybe a police sketch artist, that way she's not head first into all the FBI shenanigans, but close enough to still be intrigued. She's intelligent, I can definitely see her picking up on a detail others looked over and investigating a case herself.

A sort of doctor perhaps, which would pair nicely with Adam being a vet (if we were to go that route). Less murder mystery solving and more actually saving people's lives. Would make for some good angst too, if she doesn't manage to save someone she may have flashbacks to the girls. She may feel that a part of her dad still lives with her, that she secretly wanted them dead. Yknow, good ol' fun! /s

Or perhaps something far more simple. A freelance artist who sells calendars and mugs to sweet old ladies. It may not be as hectic as the past two, but it's still helping others, and gives poor Abigail a break from all the chaos.

Maybe she could start out as one thing and end up as another as she got older, (because you are absolutely right she lives a very long, very happy life) the possibilities are endless :D

Also, thank you for liking my nonsensical rambles, it means a lot! I'm by no means an Abigail expert, just obsessive :D (oh, and thank you for liking adamgail siblings that means a lot too!)

Have a good day/evening and thanks again for the question! Always a pleasure to read and answer :]

[watermelinoe]

my niece once got upset w my dad bc he wouldn't buy her some overpriced drunk elephant skincare product. she was freaked out about getting wrinkles. at age eight. i wish her mom had never bought her that damn smartphone

[brynn-lear]

I never got too deep into enstars but there are days where I miss Mama 😔

[grasslandgirl]

slasherverse.

a year ago today i posted the first installment in slasherverse, the original slasherfic, if i could make a deal with god (i’d get him to swap our places) on ao3, after having stayed up til 4am a few nights previous in a fit of pique writing it. it was, and is, one of my favorite things I’ve ever written, and one of the pieces I’m proudest of. in honor of the one year anniversary (slasherversary, if you will) I’ve collected some collages I made about slasher, as well as links to the playlist I made and all the fics in the ongoing series !! (I’ve also got another fic in the series I’m currently working on- I wanted to finish it by today’s slasherversary, but alas the muse was uncooperative, so keep your eyes peeled for that hopefully soon!!) hugs and kisses to everyone who’s read and commented on and been so lovely and enthusiastic about this insane wonderful project I’ve undertaken over the course of the last year, and I hope you’ll all continue to stay tuned for whatever comes next <3

if i could make a deal with god (i’d get him to swap our places) -- first slasher fic. rated M for violence, gore, and character death. 8k. what happens when the bad kids find themselves in the events of a campground slasher film? or more specifically, what happens after? 

we both matter, don’t we? -- four funerals. 11k. fig and gorgug attend their friends’ funerals and try to grapple with their own survival in the aftermath 

windows down, scream along -- gorgug pov. 4k. fig and gorgug go for a drive when they can’t sleep

anti curse -- one year later. 4k fig and gorgug go back to camp on the anniversary of the massacre

slasherverse playlist 

jack @kingfisherkink​ ‘s art (SPOILERS)

jamie @gilears​ ‘s handmade collages

asher @myclericalromance​ ‘s aelwyn pov drabble (😵‍💫)

[rodolfoparras]

I shall return in the morning I’m so sorry for leaving so quickly but I haven’t slept properly and I need to sleep immediately 😭

[mars-ipan]

iii…. don’t know what romance is

[simgerale]

this is me now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!