#mute!dean

[profoundbondfanfic]

The Hanged Man

The Hanged Man by orphan_account Rating: Mature Word Count: 87k

After Park Ranger Cas Novak saves a mysterious stranger named Dean from an attempted murder in the woods, he finds himself drawn into the man's secretive life. Someone tried to kill Dean, but he's not telling who. In fact, he's barely speaking at all. If he's going to have any hope of helping Dean, Cas will have to convince the man to trust him — all while trying not to fall in love with him along the way.

From the start, a hint of the supernatural offers readers a mystery that takes twists and turns you'll never expect. Dean is found by Park Ranger Castiel hanging from a tree. It's suspected to be a suicide, and since when Dean recovers, he won't speak, no one knows that it was actually his father who hung him by force.

Dean is terrified, damaged, and has so many trust issues it would take the most patient person in the universe to wade through them. Fortunately, Cas is the most patient person in the universe.

Dean slowly comes out of his shell the longer he's with Castiel, beginning to speak a word or two but only to Cas, and doing some mechanic and general work at the park ranger's station. Bobby, the lead park ranger, takes a special interest in him, giving him work and even paying him a little under the table since no one knows exactly who Dean is.

But when his father is spotted searching for him, Dean tries to run, coming back to Cas only with the promise of safety and protection. But when the truth about Dean's origins comes to the surface it's darker than Castiel could have ever imagined.

As their feelings grow, Dean and Cas find comfort in each other as the rest of the world unravels around them. A gorgeous story of love, hope, and survival.

[the-night-moves-writing]

Sisterhood

Winchesters x Sibling reader (sibling bond ONLY)

Castiel x Winchester Reader (Platonic)

Summary: When Castiel goes off the deep end and becomes god, he finds he still has a soft spot for the smallest winchester

Warnings: angst, reader is mute for a lot of the fic, Descriptions of a panic attack, mentions of John Winchester being a bad father

Characters: John, Castiel x Reader (platonic), Dean x Reader (siblings), and Sam x reader (siblings), very small amount of destiel (you can see it if you squint)

Word count: 1746

A/N: Hi guys! I feel like i might post a little bit more now that i'm back, also there is a part two (and maybe three) in the works for this! i will create a list for you to be able to find all the parts and link it to my masterlist once i get it all set up. Also now i am on A03 and i will link that to my masterlist here in a little bit too. Anyway sorry for the long authors note, heres the fic. <3

I think of ways to turn the tables and fear what happens when they turn, the anger he fills in turn fills me with uncertainty and anxiety. His father passed the hate down the table, passed through graves and passed through cradles. He said he could never turn out like him, he was different. He kept those he wanted to protect at arms length, never fully giving himself the right to feel and to be loved. The one exception to the rule was Sam. Little brother Sammy, his whole reason for continuing on was to take care of Sam and protect him. Then here I came into the picture like a wrecking ball through the perfectly built motel room. 

Left on the doorstep with nothing but a note that read: John i could no longer take care of our child so i give them to you. May they grow to be strong and better than the both of us. There was no name left on the note but my father John Winchester knew who it was from, some random lady in a bar. He never wanted to deal with me so he placed me into Dean's caring arms. Dean was not only my brother and caregiver but also my dad in my eyes. So Dean and Sam became my whole world my entire life, until Sam left us for college. Being only 6 at the time I had a very little understanding of why he left but Dean always just said he left us. So I hunted with Dean and John, well less hunting and more researching for them and learning everything I could about the lore so that I could be helpful to Dean and John and take Sam's place in hunting. 

 Then it was just me and Dean hunting and I learned the basics.  When Dean went to get Sam from college because John had been gone for a few days on a hunting trip i was so angry, how could he leave us and how could Dean still want him back especially when i was 10 and more than capable of helping dean. Then he came back and we were together again and things were good, until Dean died and Sam dropped me off at Bobbys. I was 13 years old and I could hunt with him, I didn't want to be away from both of my brothers. Bobby thought that I needed a car though so he let me rebuild one with him so I rebuilt my sweetheart, I couldn’t call her baby despite me loving the car, a 1965 mustang. A nice little two seater that I had painted green. I used the car to visit where Sam had Dean buried, all the time. Bobby was concerned at how much time I spent at his grave but I couldn't help it. 

I had lost both of my brothers and the only family I had ever had and I was grasping at straws, I lived but it was my spirit that was haunting Bobby's house. I had become basically mute within these past months and Bobby was trying everything to get me to speak again. So when Dean returned out of nowhere I stayed by his side, though it worried Dean how quiet I was. I never left his side though which helped to ease his anxieties and when the entity was following Dean we had bigger things to deal with. I stayed far away from Sam not being able to look in his eyes after being left again. Then we met Castiel. I was very worried and very scared. Somehow Cas picked up on it though and constantly eased my fears, he could tell why i didn't trust Sam and unlike Dean accepted and understood it. Cas easily became a good friend to me because I didn't have to speak with him and he didn't have to try to understand human norms with me. 

Dean and Sam were both worried about this new found friendship between me and the angel but they saw the way that I was opening up. Saw the way I was becoming happy again and they just couldn't interfere. Everything changed when I turned 15 Castiel died and Sam went to hell. Cas came back though like always and when Sam didn't have a soul and Dean was searching for a way to return his, Cas stuck by me cared for me and kept me safe. He answered when I called and he took care of me. He takes care of me and is the only person I can trust. Then I hit 16 and the worst period of my life began, Cas declared himself the new god. The sadness I felt in my chest, crushing my heart.

For the first time in almost 4 years I had something to say 

“Cas STOP!” I said

Everyone turned to stare at me, and Cas turned to walk towards me. He took my hand

 in his and said,

“I am extremely proud of you my very devoted little one” 

His tone borders on threatening and dipping into enjoyment and pride.

He looked between Dean and Sam and myself before he spoke once more

“I expect complete devotion from you all…” he paused for a second, taking a breath before turning to me. The look in his eyes was no longer the soft and comforting look I had grown accustomed to. 

“…you have proven that you will speak for me in what you consider dire situations, so I command you to continue to do so” his gaze softened “ You have always been my favorite, my little one. Please do not give me any reason to punish you.”  

I, not being able to meet his gaze any longer, turned to look at the ground. My favorite person was now gone and there was nothing I could do to bring him back. I could follow him and leave my brothers again, leave my family. Or I could stay and lose the person I'm closest to in the whole world.

I could hear Dean and Sam shouting but I felt like my head was being pushed underwater, I couldn't breathe and I could feel the tears begin to run down my face and splatter on to the floor below. My vision was blurry and it was so loud everything was so loud, my entire life was falling apart and there was nothing I could do about it. I was completely hopeless and useless, I wasn't good enough. Good enough to help Sam and Dean with hunts, or protect them from going to hell, I couldn't do anything. I could feel my breathing quicken and my chest tightening. 

“STOP” Cas’s voice cut clear though the air, he turned from the boys walking towards me. My thoughts, eyes, and breathing were still shaky and unfocused. At some point I had ended up on my knees sobbing.

“Obviously I cannot leave the care of you to these two, my little one, I better take you with me.” He stated, me not hearing him, though it was more a threat to the boys. Dean finally noticed me and ran over and moved to be on his knees, Sam hot on his trail following suit to kneel in front of me.

“Hey hey hey your ok sweetheart, I promise. I got you, deanies here, don't worry.” Dean said, bringing up the nickname I used to call him trying to calm me down. Dean and Sam continued their calming words till my breath returned to normal. Cas was still staring at us from afar. He looked at us for a minute before speaking 

“If you wish for me to let you keep your sister I expect obedience Dean, I do not want to fret over her as i try to rebuild heaven. I could always just take her with me if that would make you more compliant.” His voice booming and loud

“P…. please let me stay” my voice is still shaky and rough not only from the panic attack but from years of not using it.

“This is not a decision for you to make, if i dont think Dean is capable of caring for you then I won't hesitate to bring you with me.” He said to me 

“Remember for almost 4 years I was the only person you spoke to. I know everything about you, and Dean cannot care for you as much as I could, little one.” Castiel’s voice seemed to soften when speaking to me. Dean could no longer take the former angel speaking as if he could not care for HIS siblings any longer.

“I’ve taken care of her my entire life Cas I think I know what I am doing.” He said a little bit pissed and it showed through his voice.

“I am no longer Cas to you Dean, you may refer to me as lord or god but never speak as if you are close to me again.” The statement was heartbreaking for the hunter, who always had a ‘profound bond’ with the angel.

“Another thing you say you have cared for them yet they were mute for four years, and you have caused so much damage to them. Do you really think you can care for them better than I?” Cas asked him completely serious

“I tried Cas you know better than anyone that i tried for almost two years, but i can't MAKE them talk” Dean was full blown angry now. Making me more frightened

“I TOLD YOU TO NOT CALL ME CAS.” Cas said his voice booming off the walls, he brought his hand up to slam Dean into the wall

“Stop, stop, stop please, I’m sorry, I'm so sorry, please just let me stay.” you cried out

“You have no control over my actions, little one. Dean had been given too many warnings, but seeing as you want to stay I will allow it, but believe me I will be doing check ups, and if I believe that you are not being cared for I will not hesitate to take you. You are still only a child who needs to be protected.” Cas said putting Dean down, Sam running to help him, Cas then turned from me to the brothers before speaking one last time.

“Heed my warnings. I am not going to repeat myself.” he said before disappearing, leaving the siblings alone in the warehouse.

[caliphoria17]

Can’t believe the trajectory went from:

#SaveWarriorNun

⬇️

#WarriorNunSaved

⬇️

#CancelWarriorNun

[purgaytorysupremacy]

oh nuts. a life experience has given me a new layer of perspective on Cas's homosexual declaration of love to Dean.

recently I had occasion to tell a person I had feelings for them knowing full well they didn't feel even a twinge of the same thing for me. while the whole thing was a decidedly unpleasant experience, I kept laughing at myself internally bc I didn't want to say "the happiness is just in saying it" like fucking Castiel over here. (we don't need to talk about it, it's fine.) (I am happier having said it and it's kind of bullshit, but I digress.)

because the thing is, the happiness isn't in just saying it, right? the happiness is in the having. I made a whole TikTok "proving" that the Empty didn't come for Cas when he confessed his love, but rather when he realized Dean loved him back. even for Cas, the happiness was in the having, not in the saying, however brief it was.

and I've always been one of those people who rolled their eyes at the whole concept. why would the happiness be in just being, in just saying it, if it's right there in front of you to have. and then it hit me like a tonne of bricks (as I was washing my kitchen counters).

Cas really didn't think he could have Dean.

at all. in any capacity. he really, truly, and honestly felt to the depths of himself that Dean did not have any twinge of similar feelings, that this really was a Hail Mary shot-in-the-dark. and I think me, personally, really didn't understand that about Cas. that his belief in his love being unrequited was that unshakable.

something else I've been pondering is how audiences have so much more empathy for fictional characters who share traits that IRL they find objectionable and unappealing. but the thing is about fictional characters is that we follow them around in their most private, vulnerable moments. we see Dean mourning Cas when he dies, literally killing himself because he can't live without him, but it's so easy to forget that we're the omniscient ones here.

Cas never knew.

Dean's whole thing was pushing him away, keeping him at arm's length, making it seem like whatever heroic thing he does for Cas he'd do for anyone. he downplays how important it is for Dean to share the Deancave with him, to show him his favourite movies, share his favourite songs. he acts like the things Cas does for him don't mean that much to hide how much they do mean. he uses "we" whenever he even gets in the vicinity of expressing a feeling. "We were worried." "We're glad you're back." "We needed a win." "You're our brother." The audience knew the difference. We saw how he'd clench his jaw or swallow hard or make a face that said "God, I'm being such an idiot". Because we saw him in those little moments. We got to see the cracks in the mask.

but Cas never knew.

the self-hating angel of Thursday was never going to think it was all a way for Dean to protect himself. obviously, that's the delicious tragedy of it all, but what I think I realized at the end of all that is Cas confessing his love to a Dean who didn't love him back wouldn't have worked. Because the happiness really is in the having. If happiness was just in saying it, then The Empty would have come before Cas even finished getting the words out of his mouth.

so Cas's plan wouldn't have worked if Dean didn't love him back.

this is just me yapping on about my own nonsense, but I do think it's really interesting. there's contentment in "just saying it". there's freedom and relief and an unburdening. I think one can argue that it makes being happy in the being easier. there is certainly some joy in telling a person you think that highly of them. but true happiness?

nah.

true happiness is always going to only be in the having. Cas didn't understand the difference until he experienced it, and by then, it was too late.

[aulupus]

I love the dynamics between the Union executives and their No.2's. Like, you put Jimmy, Wolf, and Jake in a room together and they're like hissing cats. Meanwhile, Jack and Hwangmo are in the hallway, silently bonding over how they're constantly herding said hissing cats. Dean never participates because he thinks of himself as above the other sidekicks.

[kerryweaverlesbian]

How do you go from Wanting to Having? I think this transition would be hard on my man Castiel.

I was going to do a cute little nice Cas Returns fic - so convinced, was I, that this would be teeny tiny that I only wrote it out here in a tumblr draft and not on my notes app! Anyway I have no idea how long this is and it is...uh...there's elements of cuteness I'd say, but it's more significantly emotional comfort of mostly Cas, ft selective mutism Dean. (Implied offscreen alcoholism.)

Cas is spat back out at 2am on a Tuesday, staggering hard onto the cold dungeon floor. It's pitch black in there, but with Cas’s angelhood restored (though still patchy) he can see well enough to find the stairs. When he tries the door, it's locked from the outside. As dungeons tend to be.

On pushing it open regardless, he finds that a cabinet had been pushed in front of it too. He's certain a human would have a hard time with it, but he shifts it aside with ease. He maneuvers it softly, aware of the time. Angels are always aware of the time. He felt the 40 years of battle through Hell for Dean's soul, he'd known the year-and-change of fight-and-flight through Purgatory, he'd counted every precious second of Jack's beloved company. The only place time didn't exist was the Empty. Or it didn't, until Cas broke it further.

He hopes, briefly, that those he woke up for aid had made it out as smoothly as him. Meg had, as ever, proved invaluable, and it had been a (tempered) joy to find Anna again. He sends silent thanks to Billie, for Their part in his return; They had been as angry as the role of Death allows that They'd been forced into Chuck's narrative once again, furious enough to value sabotaging his ending over Their objections to letting people back. Castiel had sworn that this would be the last time and Billie had said "Yes. It will." though he's sure they both know it's unlikely to be.

It's been 3 weeks and 5 days since he'd sacrificed himself to save Dean. It's strange; he'd thought since making the deal that if he was stolen away at his moment of happiness, he would fall into despair himself. To be ripped away at the time he found what he so deeply wanted, that would surely have broken him, and left him ready to be subsumed. Instead it had galvanised him. The Empty had made a fatal error; it had forgotten that stored within happiness there is always, always hope. Hope is intrinsic to happiness.

He follows that hope to the cracked open door of Jack's room: he's in there, sleeping, curled around his pillow affectionately. Castiel knows there's a knife under his pillow, but he still sleeps with his back to the door. Cas lets him be. He isn't quite ready to explain his absence in a way that would be kind to his son. He has someone else to talk to first.

Cas stops outside of Dean's bedroom. Light shines out from the cracks around the door, but he can tell through reaching out through the ether that Dean is sleeping. With a touch to the handle the door opens silently, and Cas closes it behind him, equally quiet. Every light in the room is on.

There are significantly more lights than there had been when Cas had last seen it. A cluster of floorlamps clutter the footspace, and every flat surface bares as many of the Men-of-Letters flat-roofed table lamps as it can fit. Even some of Dean's guns had been excised in favor of wiring to attach extra overheads that hang somewhat precariously above Dean's supine body.

Though Dean sleeps, a deep frown mars his brow. He's on his side too, facing the centre of the bed, though his arms cradle a bottle of scotch - opened and hours since spilled on the bedspread. To see him again in such bright light is a privilege. He finds, as he does every time that he has been reuinted with Dean, that he is indeed just as beautiful and vulnerable as he had remembered. Sometimes, near the beginning, he had made himself almost convinced that his feeling was exaggerated, his devotion practical and their connection shallow. Every time he found himself in the same room as Dean, he found himself proven wrong.

Privilege though it might be to see him like this, Castiel also wants to see his frown alliviated. Without regret, he turns his hand in the air, dimming every light to a soft glow. He spreads his hand on the mattress and wills away the wet spot that's crawled under Dean's face. Balancing one knee on the mattress Cas maneuvers the bottle out of Dean's hands, gentle and smooth, then stretches back to put it on the floor since the lights crowd the bedside.

Turning his gaze back to Dean, he finds his efforts were for naught. Without the bottle, Dean's hand has balled into a tight fist, squeezing so strongly that it shakes, and his frown has, if anything, deepened. He must be having a nightmare, though its the quietest Cas has ever seen him in one. Typically he thrashes, shouts, fights against fear even in his sleep. Now he's so still with it he seems almost dead, rigor mortised in his own bed.

Castiel remembers a time, less than a decade ago, when he would watch Dean's nightmares run their course. It wasn't impassivity that stayed his hand, but inertia. It had been an as yet uncured habit to stay out of the affairs of the Earthly, to restrict himself to speech-when-spoken-to. In short; he didn't know he could. Now, he has no such reluctance.

He curls his hand over Dean's left shoulder, a mimic of his print on his right, and slides a tender calmness into him, which finally relaxes Dean's posture. His brow smooths over, his jaw goes slack, and his breathing deepens. He's beautiful.

Then he snaps awake. A hand clamps hard over Cas’s wrist, holding him firmly and frightened eyes catch his in the dimness.

"Cas?" Dean's voice is hushed and croaked, as if he'd been sleeping for a long time.

A gentle irony strikes Cas, that Dean was resting while he was fighting his way home. It makes him smile, and that seems answer enough to Dean. He's grabbed fiercely and pulled into a thick hug, one that would render him breathless if he were a human. He holds Dean right back, deliberately softer. It feels important to be careful with him right now.

"I'm here, Dean. I'm sorry that I-"

Dean shoves Cas back and claps a hand over his mouth. Cas is caught in his serious, troubled gaze, and it takes a moment to interpret the slow shake of Dean's head.

Cas nods, and Dean draws his hand back. "I understand. I won't apologise."

Contrary, Dean huffs and rolls his eyes, as if to say, when do you ever? He doesn't speak. It's more than a little worrying. Not one to go unheard, though, Dean takes one of Cas’s hands in his and laces their fingers together, giving Cas a defiant expression. Cas’s heart catches.

"You don't have to," he makes himself say, "It's alright, Dean. What I said doesn't have to change anything between us. I love you, and that's..."

He was going to say, that's all you need to know, but Dean had rolled his eyes again and pressed a kiss to the back of Cas’s hand. At Cas's trailing off, he smirks, which slides away quickly into indecision. Dean tilts their joined hands back and forth together for a while, clearly thinking something through, and Cas lets him, trying not to squeeze too hard from his mounting, perilous hope. His hope in the Empty had been merely to live. To exist in a world where Dean knew the truth; that he is both lovable and loved. Now he is hurtling towards - something else.

It's funny (in the human, unfunny sense): he'd spent so long tamping down his possible happiness in fear of the Empty that now that it can be accessed freely, the idea of great happiness is a little frightening. What does a world look like where he gets what he wants? It's unimaginable.

He tries to untangle their fingers, at that thought, but Dean holds him fast, both with his grip and with a raised, unimpressed, eyebrow. It seems his attempt at absconding has made Dean's mind up. He reaches past Cas and opens the top drawer of his bedside cabinet, and drops a notebook into Cas’s lap.

The notebook is spiral bound and cheap-looking, its cover merely denoting the word 'Notebook' and its A5 size. The plastic of the cover is rough under Cas’s thumb. It's a far cry from Dean's leather bound hunting journals.

Correctly interpreting Cas’s tactile investigation as cowardliness, Dean impatiently flips it open with one hand to a random page.

You can have it.

That's what it says, all the way across the double page spread. Written over and over again in ball point pen, uncaring for or deliberately defeat of the evenly spaced blue lines meant to corral the written word.

You can have it, and variations thereupon: You can have it, damn it; could have fucking taken me, asshole; what do you think is supposed to make me happy now, you arrogant, stupid son of a bitch?

The me of the last is underlined so harshly that the paper is ripped. This outpouring is repeated on every page but the first, which instead says only, Come back. Those two words have been traced over enough that the message is engraved over the next three pages.

"Dean, I..." Cas begins, then has to stop, overwhelmed.

The magnitude of Dean sharing this work of grief is not lost on him. Perpetually making themselves vulnerable; is that not the story of their relationship? He follows the lines of Come back with his finger until Dean taps his chin up. He's leaned in close, the ends of his hair tickling Castiel's forehead.

He opens his mouth, but this time only manages a click in his throat that Cas thinks is supposed to be the start of his name.

"I understand," Cas says again, because he does. He brings a faintly trembling hand to the back of Dean's neck to keep him from pulling away - and, more, to keep himself from doing the same. "Dean, I never anticipated this. This is frightening to me. My heart is-"

Cas presses Dean's hand, still linked with his, to his chest, showing him the dizzying speed of its beating. Then he laughs, faintly, at having dropped another sentence:

"I think I left all my words in the dungeon."

Dean answers with a swift smile, his gaze radiating pure affection. He brings their hands to his own chest, where his heart beats just as fast. Dean kisses him, then, on his left eyebrow, then the cheek when Cas looks back at him.

"Dean," Cas says, half-warning, half-encouragement when Dean ducks around to kiss the ridge of his ear, and then "Dean..." in a half-moan when his teeth catch his throat.

Undeterred, Dean kisses whatever point of Cas’s face that strikes his fancy, rendering Cas a trembling mess before their lips even connect (which they do only when Cas holds Dean still and kisses him himself. The noise Dean makes is almost a laugh, and Cas will remember it for the rest of his life).

It's only a few minutes, though, before Cas has to stop. He's progressed from trembling to shaking, and the pleasant tingling across his limbs had turned sharply into pins-and-needles.

"I'm sorry," Cas says on an inhale, pulling away from Dean, and clarifies quickly, "I don't think I'm ready for this. It makes me too happy. I'm afraid. I can't lose you again."

Dean is tender with him, brushing Cas’s cheek soothingly with his thumb. His mouth and jaw work, and this time he gets out a "Ss", and then a "Shh".

He keeps on shushing as he wraps Cas back up in a hug, tight enough that all the rattling parts of Cas feel like they're slowly compressed back into his body. Dean breathes deeply and deliberately, and Cas copies him, noticing for the first time the room's stale-sweat-stink, and the familiar scent of second-hand gasoline in Dean's hair. It takes time, but eventually Cas is able to clutch at Dean too, which earns him an extra squeeze around his ribs.

"I love you," Cas says, and it feels too loud for the room, so he whispers it instead, "I love you, Dean."

Dean buries his face into Cas’s shoulder, in what could be charitably imagined as a nod. Neither of them says another word for the whole night.

They're both terrified of what they want to give - terrified of happiness. But in that awful, devestating, harrowing joy is the glimmer of what is going to get them through it: always, always hope.

[ricky-tiki-tah]

Anyone else notice that especially in the earlier seasons(1-3 specifically for this post), Sam is usually the one talking to the witnesses/authority figures. Doesn’t matter if Dean started the conversation/interrogation, Sam near always finishes them.

Not only that, but officers and others tend to direct their questions more to Sam than Dean. The question is why? In the early seasons like 1-3, Dean may be shorter, but Sam is still noticeably younger than his brother. Is there something about Sam that people trust him to be more mature or what?

On the opposite note, you will rarely see Sam talking to any kid, his area lying more with the teens and young adults. Dean is always talking to the kids, he values their opinions and wants them to feel safe no matter what. This is probably from raising Sam, but it’s also very him. (One example is Lucas in 1x03 Dead in the Water, another is Michael in 1x18 Something Wicked, and again with Ben in 3x02 The Kids Are All Right)

Now, I’m very much onboard with the “both Winchester brothers are autistic” and “ADHDean”, but my question is still, why would the authorities and older suspects talk to Sam instead of Dean? Is it because Sam is so good at masking? Is it because Dean is starting to let his childish side out more now that John isn’t there? Maybe it’s because due to Dean having been selectively mute, Sam had to speak for the both of them growing up and the habit stuck? Could it be because even though both boys are good looking, Sam is more traditionally handsome while Dean is a pretty face? Is there really an answer?

[entropic-saudade]

Title: Let Hands Do What Lips Do

Author: entropic_saudade

Artist: hawkland | sidewinder

Link to Story | Link to Art

Rating: E

Tags: Alternate Universe, Inspired by The Shape of Water, Mute Dean Winchester, Creature Cas, Monsterfucking, American Sign Language, Pidgin Signed English, Ableism, Sexism, Injuries and Illness, Families of Choice, Happy Ending

Summary:

The monotony of Dean’s routine as a nightshift cleaner at the Men of Letters Research Institute is broken by the arrival of an asset who, for all his inhuman features, seems to express more humanity than some of the people in charge. After overhearing that The Powers That Be plan to vivisect the creature he’s come to love, Dean makes a plan to break him out with a little help from his friends.

For the @cdrcrossoverbang!

Thank you to @hawkland for the gorgeous art that inspired the fic, and for the wonderful art after! I hope I did justice bringing your Dean and Cas to life.

[follows-the-bees]

After having a discussion elsewhere about Ed's response and the mirroring of Ed's mom-Ed-Ed's dad and Stede-Ed-Izzy and Ed's trauma response of becoming selectively mute for a short time. It reminded me of another character who became selectively mute (pointedly after his mother's death — both times!) The one and only Dean Winchester.

Let's start with Ed.

During the flashback scenes leading up to the Kraken killing Ed's dad, we see Ed sitting in between his parents, breathing heavy, covering his ears, and he is quiet/mute. It feels as if he is fighting off a panic attack. This is the first time we see him selectively mute due to trauma.

This is edited alongside Ed's panic attack at the Kraken during the fuckery in 1x6. He gets low to the ground (just like his younger self) and crawls into a separate room, crawling into a bathtub and covering himself with Stede's robe — something soft.

Next up we have a direct parallel to that first scene of younger Ed. The blocking and framing are exactly the same : when Izzy challenges Stede to a duel. Stede's on one side, Ed in the middle, and Izzy on the other.

Stede's representation of his mother is not literal but refers to Ed being soft and wants softness. Just like Izzy's representation of his father is not literal but refers to the consistent pattern of slightly older abusive father figures Ed is surrounded with (also Hornighost and even Pop-Pop is a callback to it.)

Sidenote: Ed's mother talks about how that life isn't for them: we're not meant for fine things. Stede response is the exact opposite when he sees the red silk. Ed wears fine things well. He shows Ed all of his soft things right away. They switch clothes, they go to the party (it can be assumed that the purple outfit is from Stede's wardrobe), and he shows Ed that he is sophisticated. Ed can embrace that side of himself comfortably, and wear those fine things, something he has had to shut out before.

But back on track: Ed goes mute in times when he trauma is triggered.

Another parallel: Ed in the window sill with a bite of light softness behind him, crying during these moments.

Now let's talk about Dean!

After Dean's mom dies for the first time when he was four years old, he was selectively mute for months. This is not shown on screen, but it's the first time we know about Dean's trauma response.

In only the third episode of the show, Dean connects to a kid during the case — this kid is also selectively mute from trauma he saw. Dean bonds to him through his own shared trauma.

In true Supernatural fashion, characters do not remain dead, and Mary Winchester is resurrected. When she dies the second time, the audience gets to see Dean's reaction. It is an intimate, heartbreaking moment. Dean can sometimes react in anger to things, and anger can include yelling, loudness. But this time, the reaction is different. He becomes selectively mute and takes a minute to feel everything (just like when Ed isolates himself) he heads into the woods, gets low on the ground and cries.

We see this same reaction in Despair after Castiel's testament. Dean sits on the ground, ignoring Sam's call, covers his face and cries in despair.

Both Ed and Dean have very similar trauma responses, while each character is different, there are certain elements that are parallel (growing up too fast, forced to be hard but at their center are actually soft, etc) and especially how they go selectively mute in times of high trauma.

[lukas-dusk]

Tropes I love with Dean winchester

[doctor-mccoys-sanity]

what did you do growing up if it wasn’t reading Soulmate AUs where people had the first words the other person said to them marked on their body but one of them was mute so the other thought they didn’t have a soulmate?

[clairenatural]

ive had 911 on mute since it got popular, whats happening?

they bisexualed that firefighter

[louisblue02]

yall don’t get him like i do

[killrisma]

I know we all like to make fun of Dean during the confession scene, but his reaction is completely in character for him. He wasn’t stone cold, he was on the verge of tears, he did that little cry swallow he does, he didn’t have the words to say anything back to Cas

We see it many times on the show, when something overwhelming happens to Dean, he shuts down. He stops his snarky comments, he doesn’t talk to anyone, he’s sullen and seemingly uncaring. It’s not as severe in his adult life but as a child he went completely mute for a good while after Mary’s death.

Complaining that “He didn’t say it back”, is just completely ignoring entire aspects of his character. Even if he wanted to, he wouldn’t have been able to.

[laikuh]

k webster's books aren't that great, but i do think credence is well-written enough for what it is.

the premise is basically if you were a 16 yr old girl (maybe 17? i can't remember) plunked into a remote mountain home with john, dean, and sam winchester, and you decided to get fucked by all of them.

[imbiowaresbitch]

Places I'll Remember

When Jack and Dean manage to get Cas out of the Empty, Dean is swamped with emotion. More than anything, he wants to tell Cas how he feels, but since the moment they defeated Chuck, Dean hadn't managed to speak a single word in another's hearing, except for Miracle's. He wants to tell Cas that he feels the same, but panic steals his voice every time he tries, and Cas has his own grief to navigate after an eternity in the Empty's grasp.

But in the end, Dean and Cas do share a more profound bond.

~~

Dean welcomed Cas back from the Empty with a desperate hug. He'd fought his way through the darkness to find him, and when Jack hauled them out, Dean pulled Cas into his arms, shaking with fear and long-delayed grief finally given an outlet. Cas felt frail in his arms, pain etched onto his face, his blue eyes haunted. Dean tried to hold back his tears, but it had been too long. He buried his face against Cas' shoulder and cried.

Jack had promised he was going to get Cas out, but he had to rebuild and stabilise Heaven before he could expend that kind of power, God or not. Dean had waited. Not patiently, hell no. But finally, Jack had come to him at the bunker, and they went to get Sam and Eileen from California for backup. And that was all they could be. Only Dean could get Cas out. Courtesy of what Cas had called their profound bond. 

Because Dean was the one who needed him back most of all.

As Dean held onto Cas, both of them trembling, he thought back. He'd lost Cas a year and a half earlier. Eighteen months and a week, to be exact. Sometimes he wondered if he'd imagined everything Cas had said. He still didn't know what he was going to do about it all. He couldn't think about it until Cas was back. Too many what-ifs. How could he even consider the possibilities of – the potential, when he didn't know for sure that he'd get Cas back?

Cas lifted his head from Dean's shoulder and met Dean's eyes. There was so much emotion on his face, and Dean tried to speak, to say anything, but of course, found his words caught in his throat. As they stared, Jack barrelled into them, and Cas' arms shifted to wrap around his son. His eyes slipped shut, and Dean saw him start to cry.

Dean rested his hand on Cas' shoulder, fighting against the lump in his throat, but even as he opened his mouth to say something – anything – panic rose up and stole his voice. 

Cas met his gaze over Jack's shoulder, and Dean pleaded with Cas with his eyes, begging him to understand his silence wasn't by choice. He managed a low grunt, but no more, and Cas' eyes turned back to Jack.

But not before Dean saw the flash of hurt there.

~~

Read the rest on AO3.

Many thanks to @cr-noble-writes for the beta, and to @nickelkeep and @bleuzombie for helping with a sensitivity read! Much love!