#multigender stuff

[void-botanist]

Multigender time :3

I wanted to do @multiplyqueer's multigender ask game also so here we go! (edit: updated the link and tag because I got it confused whoops)

Basics

1) What are your genders? Either labels/terms or descriptions :)

I feel like every time I nail things down I change my mind. But something along the lines of man, something feminine I don't have a name for, and something neutralish. I feel like I'm fem via being masc and masc via being fem, if that makes sense.

2) Describe your pronouns. What are they, and why?

he, for reasons of being a trans dude; they, for reasons of someone called me that and I was like "oh I like that"; ze, for reasons of I've always kinda liked it since I was messing around with the idea of being not-a-woman; and she, for reasons of I think having he and she as pronouns is badass and also if she is one of my pronouns I can't be misgendered if people call me she, hypothetically. But I think I need to ignore that last bit and focus on how I know cool real and fictional people who use he and she.

3) How long have you known you were multigender? Or, when did you discover each of your genders?

In 2017 I realized there was something nonbinary about me. By 2018 I was like awesome, I'm a trans guy. Somewhere around 2021, after getting through a whole lot of life shit, I started to realize that both could be true and that in fact I could even circle back around to something feminine. Only in the process of writing this did I accept that that something feminine doesn't have to somehow be "woman". Maybe one day it will be as I get further from trying to be stuffed into that box, but also maybe it won't.

4) When did you first hear about being multigender?

Not sure. Probably when I was going down another rabbit hole looking for microlabels, or when I heard other people on tumblr using bigender as a label.

5) Are there any terms under the multigender umbrella that you identify with? (like bigender, trigender, genderfluid, omnigender, multiflux)

Genderfluid, fluidflux, and also kinda androgyne, which isn't strictly a multigender identity but also kind of is. I did also identify as bigender for a while but I think that's not accurate anymore - there are more genders in me than I thought :3

6) Do you identify with any umbrella terms that can encompass being multigender, like "trans" or "nonbinary"?

I identify with both of those, though I identify much more with genderqueer than nonbinary. I'm a weird little creature.

What's It Like For You? 7) Are your genders more fluid or more static?

Fluid on the whole, which can make me feel like a fool answering questionnaires like this, because what even am I lol.

8) Are your genders more separate or blended together?

Originally I felt that they were very blended together, but now I think they both are and aren't. There are separate genders in there but they also bleed into each other and inform each other.

9) Do you "hoard" genders or labels?

Me? No, of course not. NO DON'T LOOK UNDER THERE

10) Do you have any analogies you use to describe your genders?

Previously I described my androgyneness as like purple dye in a can of white paint that hasn't been completely mixed up. There are stronger and weaker stripes of color, and there's clearly two different things that are now mixed up as one thing. I still like the image, and I'm not sure that it's wrong, but more recently I've started to think of my gender like a half pipe. I start from the "man" side, pass through the neutralish middle, and don't get quite up to the top of the "woman" side. If anything, I'm a girl, but not in a young way. In a "girl, so confusing" by Charli xcx way.

11) Describe your ideal gender presentation, or physical form.

Retractable tits. I rest my case.

But for real I really love how my chest looks post top surgery but I do miss my tits at times. I also wish people could just read me as a guy without my intervention, because if they also read me as a faggot they're still right. If people could look at me and know one thing about me it should be that I'm a fag, not a woman. I don't have one single ideal presentation but my triangle slider would probably be denim butchfag, punk lumberjack, and gothic lolita.

12) Does your gender influence your sexual orientation?

I'm gay for everyone and it's impossible to be straight for me unless it's funny :3

13) Does your sexual orientation influence your gender(s)?

A little, in the sense that I feel all of my attraction is queer and my gender matches that, whatever that means in context.

14) Do you identify with any multigender-specific sexuality labels?

To be honest, I don't know many, and did not have much success learning more with a little bit of searching. So not currently, but maybe in the future. That said, my sexuality has always felt more straightforward to me than my gender and I think bi covers it pretty well. Getting A Bit Personal Now, Are We

15) Describe your names and their significance to you.

My chosen (and now legal) name is a secret but I wanted a name that would easily be read as masculine (this has been less successful than you would think because of other aspects of my presentation over time, even though I personally have never heard of a woman with this name). Online, though, I go by Rose, which feels like an extra queer name paired with my more masculine genders and also he/him. I'm also just a big flowers person, if you couldn't guess.

16) What are your plans for medical, social, legal (etc) transition? How far along in your transition would you consider yourself to be?

I already got top surgery and a hysterectomy and have been on T off and on since 2019. In terms of what I want out of T I'm like halfway there - still waiting on my beard to fully grow in and my downstairs growth to get as far as it can go. After that I plan to go off T again and just chill with my ovaries. My social and legal transition are like 99% complete - I think I still have one little thing to update but all my important documents and accounts have my new name and gender, and I finally have enough rental history under that name to not get instantly outed when I rent a place T-T I like being openly queer but I'm not here for administrative transphobia and deadname fuckery.

17) Have you faced any barriers in transitioning specifically related to your multigender identity or related goals?

Not really, because I just don't mention being something other than a trans guy unless it feels relevant and safe to mention it. So I get my T prescribed and go on my merry way. But it helps that I want to be outwardly "man", so even if my ultimate goal is not to Pass™ I do want the same T dosage they would prescribe to a completely binary trans man.

18) Have you ever faced prejudice or hostility due to your multigender identity or related presentation?

If I project that identity retrospectively, yeah, because my family was just queerphobic as shit and anything I did to be a feminine guy (which is still accurate to me, but I didn't have the brain space to describe myself any other way at the time) instantly made me a target. Being a guy was impossible enough, but this girly shit on top of it? I was CLEARLY just lying to myself. I also did get called "faggot" on the street once. Which would have been scary if anything else had happened but tbh it was kinda validating. These days the thing I worry about most is people thinking I'm some kind of predator, if they look at me and see a man in a dress instead of a weirdly shaped woman in one. But in the areas I frequent I think people are more likely to assume I'm a trans woman in a more neutral way, which is not accurate but not a big deal.

19) When in a situation forcing you into one gender, what do you do?

With bathrooms, I almost always go to the men's, but sometimes that feels too sketchy since apparently I don't pass even when I am dressed in a way that feels masc to me (unironically I think my short boots might "give me away") but wearing a mask in public helps. At the Sea-Tac airport there are all-gender bathrooms, which is the best thing ever for me. In other situations, I pretty much always say "man" - that's what I am legally and administratively and that's not 100% accurate but it's fine with me. Dress codes are the bane of my fucking existence though, like they make me spiral like nothing else, and I find a way to subvert them somehow.

20) How do you deal with such transmultiphobia, external or internal? Do you use any comforts or affirmations to help?

Honestly I mostly try to forget about it. I count my blessings in the form of all gender restrooms and such, because even though they're not enough they do mean a lot. A lot of the time the comfort I have is just thinking of it like I have a bunch of cool secret genders that I can't tell most people about because they're cool and secret, even though the real reason is a lot of people in my life wouldn't get it and I can't stand for them to look at me differently because of it.

Pride

21) What are your favorite things about being multigender?

I'm a weird creature and omnidirectional gay :3

22) What multigender-related pride flag do you like the most?

A lot of them have bad contrast and/or too much saturation/values that are too similar but nevertheless when I looked back at the fluidflux flag it became my favorite:

There are also some cool variations of the flag like this one:

It also contains the colors of the androgyne flag :3

23) What unique parts about your identity are you proud of?

Wanting to be a stereotypical effeminate gay was part of what tipped me over into accepting that I was trans, and I'm proud to continue being a faggot 🫡

24) Do you do (or have you ever done) anything to express pride, privately or publicly, in your multigender identity?

The biggest thing is just having it out on my social media, because I don't really have non-pseudonymous social media anymore.

25) What's your favorite art/music/writing/etc about being multigender? (Things not explicitly written as such are OK too!)

Misha Krivanek's TMNT OC Tomiko is the character that got me comfortable with being genderfluid because she's just so cool???? I'm not even into TMNT????

But aside from that I don't have anything specifically multigenderous so I will give you a thing that has given me gender envy:

Community

26) Do you have any friends who are multigender?

Honestly I'm not sure! I have IRL friends who are genderfluid but I don't know if they consider themselves multigender, and I don't totally know what the line is between pleasant mutual and friend is on tumblr lol.

27) Do you talk about being multigender with other people?

The queers, yes. And obviously I'm not shy about it online.

28) Are you open/out about being multigender?

With my queer or otherwise chill friends, yes. I'm out as genderqueer at school but for simplicity I usually don't get into my gender beyond "genderqueer trans guy". But in general, no, because it's either irrelevant or I just don't think the other person would be able to handle knowing that. Not that they would be mean, but it would turn into a whole thing.

29) Are you open about some parts of your gender identity, but not others?

Pretty much the same as above - most people I know know that I'm trans, or could guess as much. But I don't get into the details unless someone asks, and basically no one does.

30) What do you wish more people knew about being multigender?

That it exists and you can be it!!! 31) Free space! Share anything you would like about your multigender experience.

I wish everyone who called me "she" would do it in the queerest way possible like. That's Mr. Ma'am to you. Also in the course of writing this I feel like I've accepted that I'm just not a woman and I don't need to keep asking myself if I am to fulfill some kind of quota. But I did conjure up the word "butchfag" when I was imagining my best denim-studded life, and I feel like that's my life goal for 2025. For reasons of safety - if I can look butchfag that means I can also just look like a random dude, nothing to see here - but also because I'm starting to understand my butch and femme sides better. One day I want to be a professor who is obviously queer and insufferably faggotrous, at least to the bigots. Drop my class, coward, if you even stayed after I told you you couldn't use AI.

Anyway this was a long post k thanks byeeeeeee

[somethingmissingthiswaycomes]

Not everyone who is a woman is a non-man, and not everyone who is a man is a non-woman. Some people's genders aren't non-anything. Sit on that and nurture it and let it hatch and grow up to be a healthy worldview love and peace on planet earth

[justdavina]

I just LOVE this wonderful transgender woman's dress! She's just amazing! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[multigenderswag]

Remember the survey I did six months ago and also a year ago? Well, I'm doing yet another one! This survey is to collect information about people who feel that the multigender label describes them. If you don't feel that way, this survey is not for you, but it would be appreciated if you reblog this or share it with multigender people you know. If you are questioning whether you identify as multigender, you may take the survey, but please specify in the first question that you are questioning. 

You can take the survey here :D

[rouge-the-bat]

QUEER LABELS VALIDITY & REQUIREMENTS MASTERPOST

have you ever wondered "is it okay for me to call myself this label?" "can i identify as [this] if im also [that]?" "is this identity valid?" or various similar sentiments?

well look no further! this post is compiling a list of specifications for different identities along with why you can or cant use certain labels along with other ones, so youll be able to make an informed decision on choosing your labels! (and not call yourself something thats very problematic and harmful to other queers)

As if!

you can do whatever you want forever <3

you know yourself best, only you can decide what labels fit your own experiences and identity :)

other people can offer their perspectives from their own experiences if you want to hear them to try to figure out what you relate to, but no identity has a universal experience! no one can tell you that you cant identify as something!

no one, i repeat NO ONE, ordains the details of queer labels and who can or cant identify as what, or if a label can be used at all or not! not even if they are of the identity theyre trying to enforce rules on!

just because some rando may walk up to the gate of a public park and begin trying to control who can or cant enter doesnt mean its their property!

go, be free and queer, even with the most complex and weird and confusing labels! nothing can tie you down! (unless youre into that)

💖❤🧡💛💚💙💜

[juney-blues]

june egbert is proof that half of you people can't even comprehend the idea of a pre-transition trans woman.

[chroniccoolness]

in general lately I've noticed a lot of enbyphobia revolving around the idea that's like "all nonbinary people are white skinny feminine they/them afabs who 'pass' seamlessly as cis women" with either the addendum "and are happy that way" or "and are sooo privileged that they're upset they 'pass' that way", finishing off with "...so, I don't have to care about them." and to that I have to say two things:

1. if you contribute to this, YOU are directly helping the erasure of fat, disabled, poc, amab, intersex, masc/androgynous, visibly trans, etc nonbinary people. YOU are directly contributing to the erasure of very real struggles nonbinary people face in schools, bathrooms, workplaces, and at the intersections of other forms of oppression. i don't usually address my posts directly to people, but if you do this shit, I AM talking about you. you are not *helping* nonbinary poc or disabled nonbinary people or fat nonbinary people or nonbinary butches or nonbinary transfems by stereotyping nonbinary people and using that stereotype to justify hating them. soul-search.

2. even if every nonbinary person on earth was white skinny femme and they/them (which theyre NOT, again)--they'd still deserve support?? and care?? within the community??? what are you on?? YES call out white/skinny/living in safer areas/etc nonbinary people out on racism, fatphobia, and other privileged things they might say or do... like you would with any other group. they're still queer and still deserve a space in the community.

[gongenzaka]

Yuya wearing the girls' uniform, as much as Yuya would possibly respect any kind of dress code lmao. This is for my boy+girl bigender Yuya headcanon.

[allthegaynamesaretaken]

I've said this before and I'll say it again:

You don't need to understand me to respect me.

I don't owe you an explanation, and I don't owe you any kindness. I especially don't owe you more kindness than you show me.

[sir-arlieosaurus-lung-struggler]

I'm sorry I just need an irritated scream into the void rn & my throat hurts:

PEOPLE PLEASE STOP USING NON-MAN & NON-WOMAN CAUSE I AIN'T FUCKING EITHER BITCHES!!! IM DONE WITH PEOPLE USING BINARY SHIT WHEN YOUR TRYING TO INCLUDE NONBINARY PEOPLE GOD DAMN

-ahem-

Thank you for your time 😊

[emotional-moss]

okay half thought out post time ! i struggle with words sometimes so i hope this makes sense

okay look. i know what you guys are trying to do when you say “if you’re not trans, you’re cis.” you’re referring to all those shitty people who think cis is a slur for some reason or “i’m not cis, i’m a REAL WOMAN” and that shit. and the intent is right obviously ! there’s nothing wrong with the word cisgender, and the only reason assholes say that it’s a slur is because they use the word trans as a slur.

but here’s the thing: you’re wrong.

“if you’re not trans, you’re cis” does nothing but reinvent a binary: the binary of trans/cis. and that’s not helpful. there are gender-fluid folks who might say “well, i’m a girl today so i’m trans, but yesterday i was a boy, so cis.” i’ve met multiple people who say things like “yeah i’m cis-ish, but still funky in the gender” or “technically my identity falls under the trans umbrella, but i don’t use the label trans. i’m not cis though.”

like, binaries are good for no one. and there’s a VAST difference between someone saying “i’m multigender and don’t feel like either of those labels define me accurately” and someone else saying “i’m not CIS! how dare you call me a CISGENDER ! i am a NATURAL REAL MALE !” it’s all about whether it’s in good faith or not.

so just like, be aware that when you say that stuff, it can be weird or isolating or uncomfortable who folks who don’t think either of those labels work for them, or don’t use labels at all, or who exist somewhere in between cis and trans, or whose genders fluctuate from day to know. rambling thoughts over - have a good day!

this is not a discourse post. TERFS and transphobes are not allowed to debate me about the validity of trans identity, you will be blocked.

[elliott-the-creature]

made a self indulgent wallpaper for my home computer! it’s a long haired dalmatian with pet regression/nostalgiacore themes :) added the panromantic, aceflux, and nonbinary agender flag :p

[justdavina]

So HOT wearing sexy lingerie and that crazy HOT pink hair is killer! I just LOVE HOT T-gurls! Don't you?

[multigenderswag]

Remember the survey I did in June? Well, I'm doing another one! This survey is to collect information about people who feel that the multigender label describes them. If you don't feel that way, this survey is not for you, but it would be appreciated if you reblog this or share it with multigender people you know. If you are questioning whether you identify as multigender, you may take the survey, but please specify in the first question that you are questioning. 

You can take the survey here :)

[textk4kira]

How are you both transmasc and demigirl /genq? I thought transmasc meant you were transitioning to a more masculine gender

Hello my dear,

Transmasculine simply means that you identify with a masculine gender identity. I think the confusion arises when people conflate transmasc with trans men.

It's kind of like a squares and rectangles situation. Trans men are transmasculine but not every transmasc is a man.

To answer your question,

I am both a demigirl And transmasc, which makes me bigender (which is under the multigender umbrella).

I hope this was helpful 💗

[rotteneldritchhorror]

You know you’re having fun with gender when your “gender basics” section still has 20+ genders in it