#much love to everyone who reblogged my doctor who posts

[happymeishappylife]

I posted 1,656 times in 2022

174 posts created (11%)

1,482 posts reblogged (89%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@frejennix

@thistlefly

@meg-pond

@starberry-cupcake

@circular-time

I tagged 1,382 of my posts in 2022

Only 17% of my posts had no tags

#doctor who - 108 posts

#new music - 96 posts

#teehee - 89 posts

#the sandman - 76 posts

#dracula daily - 75 posts

#spotify - 62 posts

#favorite bands - 59 posts

#dw spoilers - 58 posts

#thirteenth doctor - 50 posts

#spoilers - 42 posts

Longest Tag: 101 characters

#the bob marley on the door knocker scene scared me so much i ran out of the room everytime it came on

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

See the full post

18 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

#4

Me playing Assasin's Creed for the first time: Why does Desmond sound like Nathan Drake?

Me: *Looks up voice actor and discovers its Nolan North*

Me: Oh because it is Nathan Drake. Hi Nate in a new body lol

21 notes - Posted July 17, 2022

#3

I love Arthur Darvill and think he's a great actor and that episode didn't change that even though I absolutely wanted to beat the shit out of Richard Madoc and cheered on his destruction.

But I also realize how much I really love love love, Tom Sturridge's Dream because even when he's threatening and scary I am just filled with such warmth during that entire episode on seeing him.

68 notes - Posted August 28, 2022

#2

The Legacy of the Second Doctor as played by Patrick Troughton

Now I said that the show would not have happened without William Hartnell, but the show would not have survived without Patrick Troughton. Because it was an incredible risk to introduce a new actor as the face of the main character and not only allow that to be a thing the show, but for him to play the character completely different and have it work out. And not only did Patrick Troughton volunteer to take this risk, he pulled it off and made the show what we love about it today.

The Doctor was always mysterious and eccentric, but Patrick’s performance turned the Doctor from some grumpy old grandfather to an eccentric clown, with a clever mind. He brought more physical characterization to the Doctor with his brilliant facial work and also action work that brough more life and energy into the character. Often pretending to be stupid in front of his enemies or situations that he wanted to learn more about, he turned the tables on many of his foes by using this against them to learn how to defeat them. And because of this introduced a level of manipulation the Doctor possesses that later incarnations use far more craftily.

But the Doctor now truly embraces his destiny to fight evil, constantly giving speeches to those that just sit by or intend to do harm that this is something he will never let pass. In truth behind all his clowning, this Doctor truly becomes the hero we know and love about the Doctor. Plus he brings a seriousness to scientific study and invention and was the perfect actor to set up the lore the show has been missing since it was brought to television. Quite a feat for such a gamble in the world of television.

See the full post

69 notes - Posted February 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

What The Three Doctors is supposed to be: A great celebration of 10 years of Doctor Who including all the actors who played the Doctor.

What The Three Doctors really is: A Brigadier reaction video to Doctor Who.

184 notes - Posted May 10, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[dorkydiaz]

i made a short post here referring to my own experiences and wanted to expand on it, you can reblog both of these posts btw. I am only writing this all down because the way some of you have spoken about chris and his decision very much bothers me. trust when i tell you i do not want to completely lay out my trauma on the internet for all of you to read, but if it makes one of you understand why this works, why it is important, then it will have been worth it to me.

When I was 12 my father was diagnosed with frontal temporal dementia. the adults in my family and his doctors decided that it was best for him to be moved to a a full time care facility. The next year, and after hearing, seeing, and understanding my father's condition and where it would go, I, at thirteen years old, made the decision to say goodbye to him, that I did not want to hear about what levels of deterioration he had reached. I wanted to remember him as he was when he remembered me, and all the adventures and fun things we did together.

I made that decision. I made it because it was easier than watching him deteriorate, forget who his sister, his brother, my brother, my mother, and me. And I knew that at twelve and thirteen. It was never a decision I ever thought I would have to make, it wasn't a decision I should've had to make.

Now, the important part, over the next few years my decision was questioned and ignored by the adults in my life and even my brother, some of the questioning I can understand now that I am older, but it should have never reached the level it did. My aunt and uncle would openly discuss his condition over dinner when he came to visit, and I would run away to the restaurant bathroom and cry my eyes out until my mom came to get me. I was forced into visiting him in his care home, which ended with it causing far more harm than good. Only then was my decision somewhat respected, it took me being retraumatized for it to be taken seriously.

Despite all of that, I do not regret that decision.

I can't know how I would be different if none of that happened. But at this point in my live, eleven years and some therapy later, I am fairly certain I would be less traumatized, carry less resentment and anger, if maybe my mom had spoken up at those dinners and made arrangements to get updates without me next to her trying to enjoy my pizza. Had I not had to see my own father forget my name and then have some sort of mini medical emergency. Had my brother heard me in a way only a sibling could.

So, yes, Christopher at thirteen made a indefinite and truly most likely temporary decision to remove himself from an environment where he doesn't fully trust his sole and primary caregiver. He knows his dad loves him, Eddie made that so clear. And it could really be 5 minutes, 5 days, 5 weeks, and so on and so forth until Christopher is ready to come home. And him knowing that Eddie respected his decision and loves him no matter what is what is going to make that time shorter. If he had walked out with his father begging him to stay, to forgive him before he was ready, the chances of him coming back would in my opinion would be far slimmer than the circumstances under which he did leave.

with that i leave you this, "yeah people go away. and it's sad. and it hurts. but you know, not everyone goes away forever. sometimes they come back. and as much as we miss them, that's how happy we are to see them again."

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Don't Speak 44

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, stalking, manipulation, reclusive behaviour, disordered eating, dissociation, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Reader is a reclusive loner who ventures down to the library on a simple mission. Her task is complicated by the man she meets there. (f!short!reader)

Character: librarian!Andy Barber

Note: took a while.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me 

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

Ann covers your mouth with hers, her tongue delving inside as you garble. You lay, still as marble as her hand slides down your pelvis. She curls her fingers and rolls along your clit, playing with you as you squeak.  

She rocks her hand as your body reacts. You don't want it too. You want it to stop. Her, too. 

She grabs the back of your head, her other hand firmly between your legs as she forces it further between your thighs. She pokes a finger inside you as you whimper and flatten yourself against the mattress. He lifts herself, staying attached to you as she straddles you below. 

She leans on her hand, tilting as if it's connected to her pelvis, fucking you as she pushes in a second finger. You squeeze your eyes shut, struggling to breathe as she traps you. 

"Mmm," she drags her lips down her cheek and you feel the gloss smear on your skin, "you delicious, aren't you??" She purrs, "he's going to like you so much." 

She rams her fingers as deep as she can, crushing her hand against you violently. You whimper but don't stop her. You're terrified and confused. What is she doing? What does she mean? 

“Relax, honey, I'm just getting you ready for him,” she growls and nuzzles you, “you're so tight. He’s really going to enjoy that.” 

You squirm as a whine escapes you. You hide beneath your eyelids as she continues her intrusion. Her nose touches yours, lips brushing as her breath cascades hotly across your cheeks. She closes the distance and crushes her mouth to yours, her tongue delving inside without welcome. 

Your head pulses and spins, your body sets alight as you wriggle, helpless to her affections. Your heart lurches as a vision flashes in your mind. It’s not Ann, it’s Andy atop of you, touching you, forcing you, smothering you. 

You turn your face away and gasp. Your eyes roll open, glossy with tears as you push on Ann’s shoulders. You’re too weak to make a difference as she nips and kisses at your neck instead. She keeps you splayed her legs against yours as she tilts her hand, fucking you to the knuckle as she puffs in tandem. 

“Mm,” she purrs, “be a good girl... yeah, are you getting wet for him? For my husband?” 

“Please,” you whisper. 

“Don’t be ashamed. A pathetic thing like you has simple desires, don’t you?” She taunts, “he’s your doctor, sweetheart, and you’re panting like a dog to have him.” 

“Please... stop,” you beg as you grasp her upper arm, “I don’t...” 

“I can see it,” she snarls and bits along your jawline, “baby, I’m not mad at it. He needs a new toy.” She shoves her fingers as deep as they’ll go, “he might play with you but he comes home to me.” 

You sniffle and slap your hand down on the bed. You can’t fight her. You deserve this. She’s right. You’re a bad person. You like Dr. Kemp more than you should. You’re a patient and she’s his wife. 

“Mmm,” she drags herself down your body, keeping her hand buried between your legs, “let me help you...” 

She kneels between your legs and tears down your pants. Your body bounces on the bed as you lay paralysed to her whims. She untangles your pants from your legs and hurls away the fabric. She bends to breathe into the tuft of hair along your pelvis. 

She nuzzles and pokes her tongue between your folds. You clench your teeth and stare at the wall. You hold air in your chest as she keeps her fingers sliding in and out, teasing your bud as she hums. Your feet arch even as you fight to stay number to her touch.  

Just like with Andy, you want it to end. You need it to be over. You wiggle your nose as you try to keep the tears from falling. How could you ever believe you were saved? More foolishly, how could you think Steve could ever like you like that? 

Your eyes glaze over as the plucking of her tongue twangs in your core. No, no, no, you don’t want to feel. You pant and puff, trying to hold back the effect of her violation. You dig your nails into the blanket and squeak as your insides coil and release. You spasm and whimper through the uninvited orgasm and bite your lip until you taste blood. 

She keeps touching you, invading you as she shoves her fingers into your cunt. She pushes to her knuckles and slides back out, slow as she pulls her mouth off of you. She purrs as she dips in and out, long strokes that have you squirming. It hurts, more than physically. 

You turn your head straight and cry out as you notice a shadow behind her. You couldn’t hear Steve past your own deafening breaths. So caught up in the whirlwind of your horror that your heartbeat tamped out all around you.  

Ann tilts her head up as he stands behind her. His thick hands rest on her shoulders, kneading them as he bends to kiss her lips. She murmurs something you can’t make out and drags her fingers down your thigh, leaving a wet streak down your flesh. 

She shifts back on her heels and stands, turning to her husband as you sniffle. You can’t hold back anymore. You’re mortified. You push your legs together as he caresses her cheek and whispers to her. He turns to you, his blue eyes drifting over your body. 

You sit up as he presses a knee to the mattress. You bend your legs and fold them against your chest. He comes towards you and tickles up your calves. 

“Sweetheart, it’s okay,” he coos, “you can trust me.” 

“Please,” you croak, “you... you’re married.” 

“Sweetie, it’s... open. An arrangement. It’s fine. You’re not doing anything wrong,” he trails his hand up your calf, “just relax.” 

“Steve, I...” you pout. 

He pauses and sits back on his heels, his forehead lines and his face falls, “I thought... I thought you liked me.” 

“I do but I didn’t know...” you look at Ann as she watches you with a smirk, biting her index fingers coyly. 

“I’m sorry, I should’ve said something, I know, but I... I like you too,” he breathes, “and she knew about you. All this time. Wasn't she nice to you?” He turns his head, “Ann...” 

“She came,” she pokes her finger into her mouth and sucks on it, popping it out, “she’s sweet. Why don’t you have a taste?” 

You blanch and peer between them. Your heart is fluttering wildly. You’re dizzy but you can’t decipher the swirling inside of you. You don’t know if you want this. You don’t what you want.  

You bat your eyes at Steve and your heart flips. No, you know you want Steve. That day you touched yourself and he flashed into your mind you were sure. For the first time in your life, you really wanted something. 

“Sweetheart,” leans forward, his hands on the mattress, “can I kiss you?” 

Your lip quivers. He says it’s okay. She’s not mad. So it must be... 

Can you really say no? It’s their house. They welcomed you in and if you leave... what do you do? Go back to Andy? 

You nod, “okay.” 

She smile and moves towards you slowly. He leans over your knees and cradles your face. Your nerves go haywire, fiery as they ping off of each other. You dreamt of this. His hands on you, gentle and patient, him bending his head, his lips inches from yours. Your mouths meet and sparks fly. 

You squeeze your eyes shut and try to forget the other body in the room. He hums and you put your hand on his arm, bracing him as you push your lips against his. His tongue pokes around and you open your mouth. It’s much nicer than kissing Andy. 

He moves closer, keeping his mouth on yours. His hand crawls up your leg and he urges your knees apart. You unlock them and he moves between them. He lays you down slowly, delving deep into your mouth, devouring you. You’re breathless and windswept by his intensity. 

His lips slip down your cheek and his hand creeps down your body. He tugs at your sweater, rolling it up your torso. He pushes it up and up and up. You raise your arms and he parts as he pulls it above your head. He sweeps it off your arms and throws it away. 

He falls on you again as you squeak. He crushes you beneath him as he kisses you fervently, hungrily. You feel his need against you. 

“Mm, honey, you’re such a tease,” Ann taunts and your lashes flick. 

He draws back, “relax, sweetheart,” he pets your cheek and once more smothers your lips. 

He growls into your mouth, rolling his hips against you, pushing his rigid excitement against your naked pelvis. You whine and squeeze his shoulder, your other hand clasping around the front of his shirt. The friction fills you with torturous heat. 

He parts again, kissing the tip of your nose, then your forehead, your cheeks, your jawline. He slides down your body leaving a speckling of kisses along your flesh. He feels the thin fabric of your bra and nips at each tit, burying his face between them. 

“You always play with your food,” Ann’s shadow shifts and she sits in the chair in the corner.  

You can’t see much past Steve’s shoulders as he bends over you, dragging himself back. He lowers himself to his stomach and hooks his hands around your thighs. His hot breath scours over your cunt and you gasp. You push yourself up on your elbows and watch him nuzzle the patch of coarse curls. 

He flicks is tongue between your folds quickly and you twitch. He does it again and you react just the same. He purrs and delves his tongue down along your lips and swipes it up slowly. His eyes stick to yours as you watch dumbly. 

He centres on your clit and seals his lips around it, sucking as you cry out at the sparkling pressure. Your arms collapse and fall flat on your back. You arch as he hums and pushes your legs against the sides of his head. He rocks his head, growling as he laps you up, moving you with him. 

Your fingers curls and you drag them up and down your stomach, leaving hot lines as you writhe and moan. You reach down and feel his thick waves, clutching them as you push your pelvis into him. He is so warm, so delicate, so delightful. He’s nicer than you could ever dream. 

Shallow puffs scrape from your throat and your chest rises and falls. Your voice escapes in little mewls and moans, piquing as you tug on his hair and quake. You cum, feeling how you slicken in his mouth, how his tongue spread around your pleasure. That sensation tingles through you from head to toe. 

Your eyes snap up as suddenly a hand frames your chin. Ann sits on the bed sideways, she’s naked. She bends over you, kissing you. You babble, weakly nudging her with your hand. Steve’s tongue swirls and has you too spastic to resist. She pulls backs, circling the tip of her nose around yours, and she sighs. 

“Steve, I want to see you in her,” she turns to face him, reaching to toy with your tits. 

He lifts himself, his face flushed, his lips and nose glistening. His eyes are alight. Your head lolls back and forth.  

Ann pulls down the cups of your bra, tweaking so you cry out. She gropes and grabs, twirling her thumb around your budding nipples. You bring your hands to your sides and clasp the blankets. 

Steve strips off his sweater, his hair messy as he drops it over the end of the bed. He stands to push down his jeans as his erection bulges inside his briefs. You gurgle as Ann continues to play with you, tickling up and down your stomach before once more fondling your chest.  

Steve rolls down his briefs and springs free. You gape at his size and tense. Ann leans down to press her cheek to yours, “relax, baby, he’s going to take good care of you.” 

She turns her head and kisses your cheek before she sits up again. Her hand dances around your torso as she purrs and watches her husband kneel between your knees. His thighs press to your and he prods along your folds. He rubs his tip against you, wetting himself, up and down, smearing your juices around. 

“Hurry up,” Ann demands. 

He exhales, his muscled chest straining as you bit your lip. He pushes against your entrance and slides into you. He inches in, little by little, and Ann leans forward. She stares between your legs as he sinks to his limit and yours. Your body racks and you reach down as you whimper. 

“Fuck...” Steve groans, his voice raspy like a snarling beast. 

“Is she tight, baby?” Ann asks, “hmm, is she?” 

“Yeah,” he pulls back and rolls back in. You moan and grip your own hips as your toes curl. “She’s squeezing me so good.” 

“Keep fucking her,” Ann sneers, “fuck her good.” 

Ann bounces around the bed, hovering next to her husband, pressing against him as she reaches to squeeze his ass. She kisses his shoulder as he groans and rocks his hips smoothly into you. Your eyes roll back as your walls quiver. 

“You better fill her up,” Ann snarls, “I want her leaking with you, baby.” 

He ruts into you hard, jolting you as your legs splay around him limply. He squeezes your thighs, holding you in place as he speeds up thrust by thrust. You look down hazily. He snaps his hips as Ann brings her hand over one of his. She hums and leans her head against him. 

“Are you going to cum?” She taunts, “huh, baby, are you gonna gush inside of her? You going to make a mess...” 

“Stop--” he hisses. 

“Come on, she’s almost there,” she reaches to put her thumb on your clit, rolling it around until you’re whining. “Baby girl, go on and cum on his dick.” She presses harder as you tense, “do it.” 

You push your head back and your chest up. You orgasm as Steve keeps his rhythm. You clench around him, clinging to him as he groans and grunts. He slams into you, over and over, his voice drone out of him through gaspy breaths. 

“That’s it, you fill her up nice and good,” Ann flicks your oversensitive clit, “oh, bad boy, cumming in your own patient. What a bad doctor.” 

He slows and your body goes slack. As he stops, still half inside of you, you feel his cum trickling down from your cunt. You blink and peek down at him as he hangs his head. Ann rubs his arm and he shrugs her off. He slides out and backs off the bed. 

“Why the fuck would you say that?” He growls under his breath as he snatch his pants off the floor. 

He pulls them on, leaving them undone as he holds them up and stalks to the door. She giggles and watches him go. She sighs and looks at you as the door snaps shut. 

“He can be so sensitive,” she wiggles her fingers between your folds and you tremble, “just like you, huh?” 

[liesmyth]

Anon with the friend who's reading tlt on the reverse order: Yes, he knows he's being a lab rat, he doesn't keep motes on the books because he's very much a casual reader (and thus perfect for the experiment) and so far we have only done Nona The Ninth and The Unwanted Guest, plus some chapters of HTN & Doctor Sex. There's the slight chance of osmosis corruption because I occasionally reblog modern au memes on my main blog, which I think is how he got Palamedes' whole deal.

There's not much he guessed, and even less he guessed correctly. He did call the fact Crown and Ianthe are related a pleasant plot twist, and he initially thought John was Varun.

The most interesting guess he had, which he arrived through flawed means, was Paul's existence, and the fact Pyrrha had some sort of connection to Gideon The Ninth — mostly because he guessed the average Lyctorhood to be Camilla and Palamedes', and with the reference of Gideon and G1deon as 1) permanently dead, in a setting where he's aware necromancy exists and he thought zombies to be actual resurrected people 2) connected to Pyrrha, and 3) the fact Pyrrha had "some weird vibes" (he refused to elaborate) led him to thinking Pyrrha was half Gideon, half someone else, and the reason Kiriona was vaguely off-putting to people was because she didn't have a full soul. Anyways he did think the same would happen to Palamedes and Camilla, which it did, and that Kiriona was pissed at Pyrrha because of an ambiguous degree of relationship

We have paused rn, as the labrat experiment is in return for me reading a webcomic per book

Oh yeah also im doing this because i either dreamt a post proposing it up or actually saw it, and honestly i wanted to see how much biases and previous narrative impacted the relationship of the reader with tlt characters, their relationships, and worldbuilding, as i absorbed tlt by osmosis as an agender aroace. so yeah giving a gay guy tlt without previous context in the reverse order to complete the trifecta (lesbian woman reading it in the correct order, aroace agender getting to know it by osmosis and figuring out the plot best I could before reading it, gay guy reading it in reverse)

ANON THANK YOU FOR COMING BACK! @mayasaura and everyone who wanted a follow-up to the first part.

"Thought John was Varun at first" is soooo big brained actually! I'm always thinking about John's more RB-like traits. I'm also very amused that he cast Pyrrha as the zombie puppeteer, I bet he's going to love tiny Harrow walking around her dead parent's bodies for a decade.

I also feel like the worldbuilding in NtN is veeery different from the general #vibe of the first two books — it feels like an "anime filler arc" kind of sidequest plot — and I'm very curious if going from NtN to HtN is going to make the settings vibe changes feel stronger or weaker than reading it normally would.

Anyway, I love that you decided to do this, and please let us know what he thinks about HtN! I hope you enjoy the webcomic :D

[ihatethisstuf]

This is a scheduled post (From, November 2nd, 2024, It's supposed to be posted November 24th, but Idrk how to schedule, so we just pray it works). Trigger warning for (in a positive connotation) self harm (its bit graphic) and mention of suicide. If you were mentioned, but those are a trigger for you, skip to the part you were mentioned (it'll be mentioned in grey), do not force yourself to go through it.

I know this is a rp blog. But, everyone who interacted, roleplayed with, damn simply reblogging it, had an huge impact on this achievement.

On November, 24th of 2023, I cutted myself. It took me to the ER. Thankfully, I did not get stitches, but it did leave a scar, a scar I thought would haunt me forever.

Spoiler: It didn't.

I remember the doctor asking me if I had suicidal thoughts or ever attempted it, and I knew that depending on my answer, it could take me to a psychiatric unit; I didn't want that. I didn't want the fear of explaining it to family or friends. So I lied, I lied, putting in mind that from then on, I'd commit to that never ever happening again. And here I am. 1 year free. And tell you something, these 2 months were hell, but every notification, every interaction, it was a daily motivation: "I need to finish that arc," "I could make more posts like it", so I can only say thank you and sorry if I sounded desperate sometimes, it felt like here was my only escape

Part of my young 5-year-old me, who dreamed of being themselves, without fear, was healed by this blog; I can thankfully be the EVIL VILLAIN MUAHAHAHA, and know that it's not that bad, know that liking villains does not make me a bad person, it does not mean I'm some sort of psychopath as some other kids would tell me.

Honestly, I completely understand if these blogs mods don't read it, bc it might be triggering, but I'll mention, just in case.

@one-sixer-please (I love interacting with your blog, is always fun, and it truly motivated me in my shittiest days)

@askdrunkbillcipher (Bruhh, your account is like the funniest I've ever interacted with, I don't even know what to say, just, thank you.)

@theaxolotl-god (You were one of the first accs I've ever interacted with, and truly helped me to keep going)

@river-nonbinary-billcipherfan (I've learned so much from your acc, and omg, thank you. Thank you for existing and being who you are)

@17ghostsinatrenchcoat (You seem such a genuinely nice person irl, I am really proud of you :])

@trickstertriangle (I wanna hug you/p, I love interacting with your blog and I truly hope the best for you.)

@bills-library (You were my inspiration to start this blog)

@sillycato (I love you so much/p you deserve thd world, omg infinite hugs and presents for you, you are an angel, this Lucas btw, just if you don't know lol)

@pandagobrr (I would always smile at your notifications, thank you ^^)

@ever-growing-system (I was research anon, and y'all truly helped me to figure out more of myself and my triggers, thank you :,])

If you're mentioned here, thank you so much for making this app a place that I could run to in my darkest days.

And if you're not mentioned here, there's two possible answers

1st- I forgot you and I'm sosososo sorry😭

2nd- Idrk you or dont interact much, but anyways, thank you for existing, breathing, getting out of bed, I'm so fucking proud of you. (Even who was mentioned, this is for you too)

I was always so scared that people wouldn't like me and that if I said one little thing wrong I was a terrible person, and I learned so much in this one year, that I finally can say, I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of going the lengths I went. There is lots to work on myself, I know there is, but one step at a time and maybe, one day, I might get there. But for now, I'll attempt into just not triggering myself.

-Lucas/Hyper

[that-dam-heartstopper-fan]

Welcome! You have found the madness of my blog. 

You can call me Darcy, Darce, Ash, Angel, or a nickname. I do not care (also if I tell you that my name is Angle, I meant Angel, I just can’t spell 😭)

I use she/her and they/them pronouns. I am a demigirl :)

I identify as asexual and panromantic and a burden

I reblog a lot, put random polls, and post random things about my life.

My other account: my oc: @a-poetic-apollo-kid

Lee Fletcher: @the-forgotten-apollo-kid

Naomi Solace: @best-country-singer

Naomi Solace for a closed rp for demigod’s mortal parents: @all-time-alt-country-singer

Cabin 7 ask blog: @cabin7-chaos

I created different Naomi blogs cause they are apart of two different closed rps, and I run the second one

how I run my blog:

Feel free to message me, i promise I’m nice, if you just want to talk or need to vent. I support everyone, (unless you’re a dick - homophobic, racist, sexist, etc) 

I use ‘girl’ ‘gurl’ ‘guys’ ‘dude’ and ‘bro’ as gender neutral terms, if you’re uncomfortable with it or sm just let me know :)

also I use <3 platonically, again let me know if you’re uncomfortable with it :)

Moots:

a list of my moots here lmk if you want to be added (as long as we are mutuals)

poll tag list if you want to be apart of my tag list for polls please comment on this to be apart of that

Things I follow: 

(There might be more tbh)

Heartstopper -Anything Alice Oseman | Good Omens | Young Royals | Red, White, and Royal Blue | Avatar the last air bender | Percy Jackson | Doctor Who (a bit-not really) | Anything gay/queer/LGBTQIA+ | Hamilton 

There’s more, I’m just forgetting lol 

I love music and books- please if you want to, send in recommendations.  music peoples I listen to:

Cavetown | Conan Gray | Baby Queen | Olivia Rodrigo | Wasia Project | Orla Gartland | Taylor Swift (a bit) | Beabadoobee | Girl in red | JVKE | Bailey Spinn | Alexander Steward | Au/Ra | Natalie Jane | PEGGY | Lauren Spencer Smith | Billie Eilish

(These people all have more than one song on my main playlist)

Tags: Darce has a question - for polls

Ash shares their vast knowledge - for asks

Angel shouts into the void - for vents

Darcy needs you to see this - for reblogs

rambling Darce - for rambling

Darcy has a lot to say - for my headcanons

I’m going to try my best to use these :)

Extra: I have a YouTube channel… I post edits/videos of heartstopper and Percy Jackson

picrew: here

I think that’s it, please be nice :)

I do it for the girls and the gays

(gays being anyone in the LGBTQIA+)

credits: thank you soooo much @bleep-bloop-boo for the name and @ ideas

Thank you @homocidalpotat for my tag names

[neonscandal]

Manga with Me: Sad SatoSugu Edition (Because That's Literally the Only Flavor There Is) Pt 2

Because I realized reblogging my initial post to keep the list going was super dumb if I want to keep gratuitously adding to it so... if you've already seen part 2, no you haven't. Especially since I had to add at least one other thing to the mix.

Part 1 | Part 2

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: JJK 0 movie + season 2 though things may get out of chronological order as I just keep thinking in circles.

Buckle up:

How positively fucked it was that Kenjaku knew the ins and outs of Geto’s thoughts about Gojo upon his possession… and knew how Geto was the one thing that could trip Gojo up… but those idiots were completely unaware.

The fact that they were always cast at odds, cursed technique wise, nature vs nurture, attitude, ideology, etc. But they still found the common ground to respect and care for one another.

I kept saying how Geto only loses his cool when harm comes to Gojo but… the crux of it is the fact that Geto is the only person who loses his cool when harm comes to Gojo because no one else could fathom the possibility (until Yuta and Yuji came along). Gojo’s power damns him to be an infallible weapon just as much as it damns Geto to be a casualty.

In fact, Geto thanked him for his hard work during the Star Plasma Vessel mission. As if Gojo had a choice. But still, Geto expressed appreciation for what most everyone else probably took for granted.

How Geto was the one person who truly challenged and undid Gojo’s godlike power all because Gojo cared for him. *insert River Song’s tirade about the Doctor loving a mere human.*

The fact that Riko’s death and their subsequent failure is what catapulted Gojo back into the need to refine and perfect his godlike strength which brought him out of touch with Geto. The isolation which Gojo knew all too well is what destroyed Geto.

Not enough emphasis was given to the fact that Geto was actively spiraling, probably couldn’t bring a spoon to his own mouth BUT STILL WANTED TO TREAT GOJO.

Geto didn’t know the power he held over Gojo or, more likely, he never chose to use it because, if Gojo would just follow him, how would that not be just as bad as the position he was already forced into by the elders? Even so, Gojo was frenzied and showed such elevated emotion when Geto defected, when he confronted him. He was undone.

After Geto, we never have the same level of insight or clarity into Gojo either. So, in addition to no longer being vulnerable to threats, he’s no longer vulnerable to us, the readers, either.

This isn’t strictly a SatoSugu observation but.. the fact that Gojo’s strength damned him to face off against a person he cares most about not once… but twice?

Gojo cultivated a life surrounded by people who he protected, who he guided, who were indebted to him, even, and he still felt like Geto was his one and only, even after everything. Even as his dream came into fruition with his team of strong students, it was all for Geto and all for naught without him.

This face when Geto realizes what we’ve known all along. Gojo’s love was unconditional but unfathomable to Geto. Please, I’m sick about it.

During the events of the JJK 0 movie, after 10 years apart, Gojo could still piece together Geto's plan just as well as Geto could figure out that Gojo sent Panda and Toge into battle to trigger Yuta's power up.

When Gojo retorts that “it’s called trust. People with beliefs like yours won’t kill a young sorcerer without reason.” having been figured out by Geto.

Even so, Geto receives that as personally as Gojo probably meant it, surprised to find that "[he] didn't realize [Gojo] still felt any connection with [him]."

When you consider that, even at the close of his life, couldn't be forthright and honest and simply tell Gojo that he never hated him.

Even when Gojo was the source of his most genuine smiles. Even bloody in an alley, death staring him in the face, claiming to not be able to smile with his whole heart and yet

Points aggressively at the board. 👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾

Stay tuned for when I inevitably circle back to light novels, OP's, EP's and literally anything else that pops into my head as this dynamic continues to haunt me. ✨

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

pt IV doctor who but i've never watched it but i know loads about it for sure

It's half past 4 am and I definitely remember everything that you maggots yelled at me about this show I definitely do

There is a slutty head preserved in a jar that had many babies

There is a Doctor who was an OG doctor and his name was Wren or something no WILF RIGHT YES SOMEONE SAID THE DILF THE MILF AND THE HOLY WILF

Michael Sheen is a sexy planet with a mouth

Neil Gaiman wrote some episodes and it was very cool I think he made Michael Sheen the sexy planet

David Tennant I know you all love David Tennant well FUCKING HERE THEN TUMBLR DAVID TENNANT

There are time lords and they are the doctor and everyone was very cross when I asked that because apparently y'all periodically forget you follow me because im dumb

It's like gay or something at some point

Andrew Garfield is a dentist who gets flirted with like you too babygirl or whatever the 10th doctor says

Oh yeah the doctors are the doctor but there are 14 of them and they all go poof and then boom new actor except for 14 where david tennant re-emerges YEAH TUMBLR HEAR THAT I SAID DAVID TENNANT

oh and THEN the fifteenth doctor arrives but he fucking girlbosses a bigeneration and so escapes trauma or something and you all get to keep david tennant YEAH I SAID HIS NAME IF THIS HELLSITE HAD AN ALGORITHM THIS POST WOULD BE TRENDING SO QUICK ISTG

Oh the TARDIS is blue and not fucking yellow sometimes my brain gaslights me and also it can be anything it is a tree but it is a police box because it wants to be due to a glitch that the doctor hasnt fixed coz hes too busy hanging out with donna or being gay or being trans which as I know from experience are both full-time occupations

Theres like an intro or something it goes DOOWEEDOOOO and when i mentioned it people started singing it in the reblogs so like nostaglia hit ig

DAAAAAAAAAAVID TENNANT YOU HERE ME TUMBLR COME AND GET YOUR DAVID TENNANT HE FOUND HIS WIFE HERE YES HE DID HIS FATHER-IN-LAW WAS A DOCTOR YES HE WAS HIS DAUGHTER WAS THE DOCTOR'S DAUGHTER BUT THEN DAVID'S WIFE SO IDK GO SLAY GEORGIA

10th doctor is kinda bitchboy and we love him for that apparently

12th doctor is girlbossing prideful or maybe it was 11th or 9th WHO'S THE ONE WHO CALLS THE POTATO A POTATO

There are rhinos and they're police they're called Zookas and they transform people into something for their sins

I think it was the rhinos but someone looks like gollum had sex with a dead horse and got impregnated

There's a potato dude (gn)

There's a Meep and Meep's pronouns are Meep which is fab

There's a dude named Harry in the original doctor who

Shitty effects are beloved here

Someone installed a ramp on the tardis

there is someone named rose and the 9th doctor did something with a timeline and lost her to another 9th doctor and everyone's sad about it coz he knew he couldnt give her the life or something

Rose is kissy smoochie with doctor

Donna noble is played by catherine tate who knows less about the show than i do (which isnt saying much clearly im an expert)

The doctor is not actually a doctor it's something about yelling DOCTOR and they say DOCTOR WHO and it's like FUCK YEAH BABA GRIL NAMEDROP

Is this show title a knock knock joke like Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Yes now let me in.

one last time for you sluts DAVID TENNNANTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

you're welcome.

[t0ast-ghost]

S3 EP24 (The Turnabout Intruder) I can’t believe I’m here. At the end. This is the last thought post.

Let’s go already:

- Awww they’re beaming down together

- Leaving Kirk alone with a woman…

- An episode directly calling out sexism? More likely than you think?

- “We would have killed each other.” “Might have been better.” Hot

- Is this set on Friday cause that’s pretty freaky

- I’ll miss you Star Trek opening (I’m going to rewatch this show idk what I’m talking about)

- Obsessed with Kirk talking that way omg

- Something about transitioning or whatever

- They should know it’s not actually Kirk cause he didn’t do his dramatic ass communicator flip

- The actress doing a great job at playing Kirk (just body language at this point but it’s already spot on)

- Kirk’s ass uhmmm

- Woah Bones is going to riot! There’s so much medical malpractice happening here

- Nurse Chapel with brown hair <3

- Lester is fucking up so bad impersonating Kirk. Like she didn’t even cross her leg over the other when she sat in the captains chair and she isn’t properly listening to Spock’s infodump :(

- Bones gets to have his riot. Wait. How does Lester know to call him Bones?

- Bones why would you lean over Kirk like that

- Kirk storming out of his own damn room

- Kirk’s ass analyzing something or other or what-

- She is so good at playing Kirk

- Guys. Listen. She is my queen. I love her. I adore her. And more than that I think she’s the coolest motherfucker alive.

- If I was Kirk I’d have slapped Coleman. No hesitation.

- Kirk’s gotta get in contact with one of his boyfriends

- Kirk is so good at putting on his charm. Like he’s so quick to panic about the ship but the charm is quickly regained

- *smashes the glass and cuts through restraints* bad fucking ass

- The boyfriends are ✨worried✨

- McCoy and Spock look so pretty

- Bones is going to kill Kirk. His blue eyes are murderous

- Spock using his ‘I’m that bitch’ privileges to get past security

- “Don’t get dressed yet.” McCoy out of context 1969

- SHE DID THE PERFECT KIRK SMILE

- A CALL BACK TO A PREVIOUS EPISODE?!? Tholian web mention?!? Woah.

- THATS GAY HOLY SHIT THATS GAY

- “Doctor McCoy may be of help.” Yeah go get your other boyfriend!

- The guard stopping them from exiting and then Spock looks over at Kirk like, ‘the audacity of this bitch. Should I just nerve pinch him, captain?’

- LMAO HE DOES NERVE PINCH HIM AND FAILS THE FIRST TIME WHAT A LOSER

- eugh Lester shaking Bones’ hand is so unnaturally uncomfortable

- Can’t bring Kirk to Bones, bring Bones to Kirk

- WAIT NO SPOCK AND KIRK ARE CANONICALLY HOLDING HANDS OMG

- McCoy’s eyeing Spock like what the fuck is happening to our boyfriend

- “Why…? Captain.” The spite Spock has

- McCoy hates being used against Spock like this

- How can William Shatner make those clicking noises with his mouth so casually

- “But her intense hatred of her own womanhood made life with her impossible.” This is like lady Macbeth

- Spock getting mad oooooooh

- Ohhh my god it’s so fundamentally sexist how Kirk is now ‘more emotional’ which could be a character choice but it feels so over the top and more like a ‘she’s a woman so this is how she acts’ choice

- Lester hates being a woman so much because of prejudices and stereotypes that she now perpetuates those same things onto others

- I love how many episodes have mutiny

- THEY GOT CAUGHT IMMEDIATELY LMAO

- “The penalty: death.” WHAT

- SULU AND CHEKOV CONVERSATION! They’re amazing

- Spock was just like, ‘we gotta be ready to slap a bitch’

- “Kill him!!!” no murder tonight for you Lester

And that’s just how they end the whole fucking show huh

I’m not sure if I’ll ever do something like this again for a show but this was a blast and I enjoyed every second of it. Thank you so much to everyone who has followed along. Every comment, reblog, and like has been appreciated.

However, I will be posting some bonus thoughts so keep a lookout for those :)

And as always Masterpost

Teleplay by Arthur H. Singer

Story by Gene Roddenberry

[annymation]

Sonic Movie 3 Predictions and Angst

The hyper fixation is slowly creeping in and I must let it out, so here’s a compilation of scenes I can imagine happening in Sonic 3. Let’s see how many I’ll get right!

1. Shadow has parallels with all 3 of the boys, not just Sonic

We all know already Shadow and Sonic have similar backstories with how Sonic experienced the loss of Long Claw, the same way Shadow lost Maria. But while Sonic chooses to move on, Shadow wants revenge. Sonic can relate to Shadow in a way, and that very obviously will be brought up in the movie.

But what can also be brought up is how Knuckles also experienced grief and dealt with it by seeking revenge for YEARS of his life, he more than anyone can understand Shadow.

And finally Tails, which is a bit of a stretch from my part, but considering Shadow is so different from everyone else, not only for his appearance but also his powers, he might feel as if he doesn’t belong anywhere else, Tails can relate to that, since he too felt like he was two different because of his two tails.

I can see they all trying to reach out to Shadow in their own ways, obviously at first it doesn’t work but with each interaction they start to slowly break more and more of his defenses and he starts to reflect on their words, maybe their words remind him of Maria and by the end he’ll realize he’s not doing what she’d want.

2. Stone is the one who frees Shadow and the one who tells the team Robotnik is alive

Double prediction I guess, but pretty much what I’m saying is that Stone is the catalyst for this whole movie, and he did all that for one simple reason… Robotnik was bored.

We’ve seen in the after credits scene of Sonic 2 that he disguised himself as a G.U.N agent and he overheard about Project Shadow, I think, after that he’d do a little research, and figure out the password to release Shadow from the pod is M A R I A. Hence why the commander says in the trailer there has been a security breach. Now don’t ask me how Stone got away with opening the pod without the government arresting him, boy is sneaky I guess.

As for how the team figured out Robotnik is alive, my guess is that Stone sent them a message through one of Robotnik’s robots, inviting them to get assistance from the doctor.

Did you catch that? He’s offering to help them solve a problem HE caused, my man is pulling the strings.

And for what? To get Robotnik back into action of course, out of his depression, and maybe find out more about his past in the process, considering Shadow was created by his grandfather.

So in team Sonic’s lowest moment, they agree to get help, and ya know what, I’m 90% certain Robotnik will betray they after their truce, because of course he will, and Stone will love it because that’s the doctor he knows and loves.

3. Maddie will help heal Knuckles

Maddie is a vet, as we’ve seen in the first movie when she helps Sonic after he’s passed out. Now that hasn’t been brought up in a while and I think it would be a huge missed opportunity if she doesn’t help out with Knuckles broken arm or whatever Shadow did with his arm in the trailer.

Additionally, I feel like after that first encounter Tom and Maddie would be worried sick and conflicted if they should let the boys go on this mission or not, to which Tom decides he’s coming too, hence why we see a shot of him wearing a G.U.N uniform, albeit, stolen because he’s just in disguise.

Bonus round of small predictions:

- Knuckles calls Tails by his name and not just “Fox”

- Sonic finds tapes that Shadow and Maria recorded together

- More Tails screen time (please I beg)

- Amy and/or Metal Sonic in the post credit scene

And that’s it for now! Might add more later and reblog it,

Thanks for reading!

[dinodogs]

Well

I’m sorry for not being around too much anymore. I’ve been in the worst state of my entire life these past months. I’ve contemplated suicide a few times. But thats not where this is going, I promise. 

Truth be told, my mental state has been on a steady decline since May. But this last month has truly been the worst of my entire life, I lost my apartment, had to live in my car in 102 degree weather for a while, and then move back into an abusive household where I am constantly deadnamed and misgendered. I lost my partner because I wasn’t in a mental state to keep up a relationship. I lost most of my belongings. I lost a lot of my friends. And I’ve lost my ability to draw. 

Along with all this I’ve had the worst carpal tunnel flare up of my entire life, its so agonizing I can’t even put it into words. I don’t have the funds to see a doctor and even if I did I doubt I’d have funds for treatment. Between this and my mental state tanking, I can’t call myself an artist anymore. I’m sorry

I’ve tried my best to respond to messages, and I’ve refunded people who needed it with some help from my best friend. But I’m sorry, any commissions will not be completed. I tried to power through it all, I really did, but I can’t do that anymore. I can’t keep acting like I’m fine and trying to make things work. 

I’m sorry to everyone who relied on me, I’m sorry to everyone who enjoyed my content, and I’m sorry to anyone who might’ve looked up on me. I’m done. I can’t do this anymore, I can barely get out of bed, I can barely feed myself or shower or do anything to take care of myself. 

I’m really thankful to everyone I’ve met along the way, thank you all for the support and the love I’ve been shown. If anyone needs to contact me, please do so through @grimmgrinningghouls .He’s the last life line I have left and my best friend in the whole world, he can relay anything to me. 

And with that, this is goodbye. I really hope this isn’t goodbye permanently, I hope I can come back one day and keep drawing dragons and whiterose and posting about rwby. But until then, its been wonderful, and I’ll see you all another day. 

I'll try and queue this to reblog a few times so anyone who needs to see this will, but other then that, this account is effectively dead.

[lumilasi]

"Lone wolf's a Dead Wolf. Healthy Wolf protects the Pack."

Earlier this week, I reblogged a fanart piece for the Mouthwashing game, wondering why it was so popular, as while I had seen the game months earlier, seeing Tumblr get so into it was surprising as at the time, it didn't stand out to me too much when I first watched it. After being nosy and snooping around the tags, I now fully get why it has become such a phenomenon here.

Anyway, the whole thing kind of inspired me to want to make my own lil space crew. I'll be keeping their designs simple though, as I don't wanna stress myself out with this too much; its just a small side thing for funsies. I don't have full design ideas for others yet, but I figured I can at least post this guy for starters. I admittedly don't fully like the poster one, buuuut IDK how to fix it rn so I'll leave it as is.

More info about him below: (under the cut bc ONCE AGAIN my descriptions get far too long....)

The poster's Lone wolf quote is basically Stefan's mantra; it both shows how despite what he may seem like at first glance, he very much cares about the people around him, and how the whole "lone wolf" thing isn't even realistic (and in a way, harmful way of thinking), and Stefan knows that.

When I say "dad" I mean he is the responsible friend who tries to keep most shenanigans at bay - mainly from The Inventor and his old friend.

The person yelling for him is his crew's youngest member, a gal who's kind of an inventor type that he sort of big brothers.

He's bi, tends to be oblivious to people's crushes on him because of a lot of self-loathing caused by what happened

He met pretty freaky people in prison, but NOBODY was as scary as his current captain, according to him.

The crew is very small, because many people tend to not be able to handle the dynamics they have; there's the Captain, Co-pilot, medic, the rescue systems officer (and self-proclaimed inventor), and now Stefan as the general ship mechanic. (at least those are the ones I have ideas for. I could add one or two more later)

Or, as Stefan would call it: the Queen Devil (affectionate), Airheaded Dumbass (sometimes affectionate, sometimes not), the Angel, and of course, the iconic KID NO DON'T TOUCH THAT!

The one calling for him in the image is indeed this "kid no"

His childhood friend has a crush on him, and so does the medic lady. He has NO idea about either, because while he keeps calling his friend dense, he sure as HELL isn't any better lmao (the Captain and the systems officer find it VERY fun to watch)

Those two aren't competitive or anything about their shared crush, they're both the kind of people that just want their loved ones to be happy and would be happy for either if they got lucky - provided the dumbass would notice either.....

His wolf motif is because of his surname meaning "wolf"

BG STORY STUFF: Stefan wears a gas mask, because of his sensitivity to a common gas type utilized in most spaceships' systems in this story; a special type of non-flammable gas, that unfortunately can cause hallucinations, and in his case, causes bouts of severe aggression/Lack of sense of pain.

-----> The reason why he has an odd reaction is because of some evil scientist shenanigans he had to go through as a kid, unknowingly to him and his mum, who thought the doctors were trying to cure a terrible illness he supposedly had. (They were just testing out brainwashing stuff, you know, usual evil government bullshit)

------> he ended up in prison because while working in another ship, he had a severe fit and killed a lot of his coworkers (whom he already had negative emotions towards due to their shitty behavior towards the woman staff - he was raised better by his mama)

-----> There was a massive riot in the prison he was in, hence he managed to escape.

His friend insisted on helping and got him in the ship; Stefan initially avoided everyone else like plague afraid he'd have a fit, but did grow fond of the oddball group pretty quickly.

Then, during a space-pirate raid, he learned that he can actually recognize this group even in that state, so they aren't in danger from him - plus their captain is a very prepared woman, and had already figured out his history. (She has stuff to knock him out to sleep it off)

[katnissmellarkkk]

Hiiii! I wanted to write a little something simple for Everlark and decided to lowkey mix two requests! “A kiss on the chest” and “Katniss learning what they did to Peeta in MJ and kissing his scars”. It was supposed to be set Post-Mockingjay but I instead made it a sequel to my “Peeta wasn’t hijacked in MJ reunion oneshot AU”. If you haven’t read it, it’s fine, the title right there tells you everything necessary to know 😂.

I hope everyone who reads this likes it! I loved writing it and I would really appreciate anyone who enjoyed this to like/reblog! It makes me so so so happy 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹. Also thank you to all my constant encouragers, you guys make my day with all your sweetness 🥹🥹🥹🥹.

Summary : Katniss learns more about what they did to Peeta in the Capitol and sets out to try and make him better. [Non - Hijacked Peeta Mockingjay AU].

-

Burned. Check mark.

Whipped. Check mark.

Starved. Check mark.

Shocked. Check mark.

Tortured (with water and [redacted][redacted]). Check mark.

I toss the file back onto the table where it was left by Peeta’s doctors, unable to stare at it any longer. Unable to stomach reading every which way Peeta was harmed while held prisoner in the Capitol. Again. I’ve already read it upwards of ten times tonight.

It never gets easier. Reading the extensive list of his injuries, reading the details they managed to pry out of him, visualizing what horrible acts were done to to him, listening to his doctors confer among themselves in sympathy and disgust, they themselves deeply disturbed by what he experienced at the hand of the president himself.

“Sweetheart, would you make up your mind?” Haymitch snaps. He’s in the worst mood he’s been in a while.

“Huh?” I furrow my brow and glare up at him.

“Either read that thing or stop messing with it.” He indicates toward Peeta’s file. “I’ve sat here and watched you throw it down and pick it back up a dozen times already. It’s pathetic.”

“You’re pathetic, Haymitch,” I say back but there’s little bite in my tone. I’m too preoccupied with the image of Peeta trapped in a freezing cold cell, naked and bloody and alone and terrified, and it’s driving me absolutely insane. It’s suffocating me, from the inside out. It’s taking up all of the space in my head, leaving no room for even bickering with Haymitch.

And Haymitch knows it too.

Of course, he of all people should be able to read me. After all, the same stupid file — and his crippling remorse — is undoubtedly what’s put Haymitch in such an awful mood in the first place.

“Just go see him, Katniss,” he murmurs, giving me a pointed look. “Go. You’re of no use to him just sitting out here, reading about what’s already been done. Get up and go see him.”

He’s right and I know it. As much as I hate to admit it, I know Haymitch has me there.

But still, I stall. It’s not that I don’t want to see Peeta. The opposite, in fact. Since his rescue thirty-seven days ago — not that I’m counting exactly — I’ve spent copious amounts of time with him. I’ve spent every waking moment that I could in his presence and as many of my sleeping ones that I’m allowed.

The doctors aren’t really thrilled about our arrangement there. They want to keep watch on Peeta as he sleeps, to watch and study and take notes and examine him further, but evidently it’s rather hard to analyze his nightmares with me wrapped around his torso all night, like a protective pretzel.

It’s not that I don’t want to see Peeta right now. It’s the fact that I don’t think I can look him in the eye, after reading exactly what those monsters Snow hired did to him, and pretend it isn’t all my fault.

“I don’t think the doctors are done with him…” I mumble, avoiding Haymitch’s eyes now.

“Cut the crap, Sweetheart.”

“Go away, Haymitch.”

“Go see the boy or I’ll find a way for you to spend tomorrow filming a propo.”

I glare at him again. “Would you stop?”

“Coin is getting hungry for some new ones.”

“Okay, fine, you win!” I exclaim, springing up out of my chair. “Congratulations, Haymitch. You blackmailed me into going to see my own boyfriend. Happy?” I hiss, kicking him in the shin as I walk past his chair.

Not hard enough to hurt him apparently. Not even hard enough for him to care. Instead he picks apart my wording with a smirk. “Your boyfriend? How darn cute.”

“Shut up,” I call as I exit the room.

The last thing I hear is him making loud, obnoxious kissing sounds in my wake.

-

I slip past the doctors, both the head and the medical, and beyond the nurses and supply carts and trays of food, into the room where I’ve spent more hours in the last month than I can count on two hands.

“Hi,” Peeta whispers softly as I close the door behind me. He’s shirtless, in bed and seemingly half-asleep already, laying on his side beneath the sheets. Waiting for me.

He looks so much better than he did the night of his rescue. His bruises are healing nicely, he’s gaining weight and muscle back, his hair is clean and curly again — thanks to me and Thirteen’s strong, medicinal shampoo — and his skin is starting to lose that scary, pale, translucent look.

But he’s still so hurt. He’s still injured — internally far more than externally — and I swear, I can feel my heart swell up and break into pieces just looking at him too long.

“Hi, baby,” I murmur softly, crawling beneath the blankets and folding him into my arms. Even with all the weight lost, he’s much too large for me to hold completely, so I make due wrapping my arms around his neck, my legs around his waist and stroking the back of his head tenderly.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” he says, burying his face where my neck and shoulder meet.

A wave of guilt ripples through me. “Sorry I took so long.”

But he shakes his head, still having no room for spite in his body. Even after everything he’s been through, he’s still so sweet. He’s still so warm and kind and generous.

Well, towards me at least. The same can’t be said for his behavior toward Haymitch, who he blames for leaving us both in the dark about the rebellion.

“You were worth the wait,” he whispers. “You’re worth every wait.”

I feel myself blush and cover it swiftly by kissing his cheek. “How was your tests today?” I ask, smoothing his hair back.

He shoots me a sardonic look now and I giggle like a little kid. Every day when his dry humor peaks through the darkness, I get filled with ridiculous, unparalleled — uncharacteristic — delight.

“Still tedious as ever?” I murmur, rubbing his shoulder with my pointer finger.

“Boring as ever,” he mumbles before closing his eyes again. He’s clearly exhausted from all the probing they did today. And I know I should sleep too.

I usually sleep whenever he sleeps, wake only when the doctors make me leave, spend as much time with him as I can before getting sent away. But tonight I just can’t. I can’t make my brain shut off, despite the fact that at least half the compound is in bed, the other not far behind.

And of course, even tired as he is, even with everything going on in his mind, he still notices my distress.

“What is it?” He whispers, not even opening his eyes.

“Hmm?” I feign oblivion.

“Katniss, I can see something’s wrong.” He opens his baby blues, peaking down at me through his long, tangled up lashes. He has the longest eyelashes I’ve ever seen on a boy.

“Nothing’s wrong,” I reassure him, kissing his upper arm because it’s the closest thing within my reach.

“You saw my file?” He’s fully awake and coherent now, his voice much stronger than before. His tone leaves no room for question, even if I could lie straight to his face.

“Yes,” I whisper, feeling suddenly nervous he’ll be angry. Maybe it was an invasion of privacy to read it, I don’t know. The doctors left it out, I just assumed it was okay. “Are you mad?”

“No.” He chuckles lightly before moving his hand down to my hip, tugging me closer if even possible. “No, I don’t care. Read it as much as you want.”

He really means it too. He really doesn’t care if I invade his privacy, dig into his business and overstep my bounds. I don’t know if I’d be so generous if the situation were reversed.

Then again, going by the things I just read, he’s already been tortured and humiliated beyond belief. I doubt he has any concern for privacy left.

“You can ask me anything, you know,” Peeta says after a minute and I cup his cheek in my hand, shaking my head instinctively. I can’t ask him to talk about what they did. That would be cruel.

Instead I lean up and kiss him on the mouth, slowly and softly. Conveying every feeling I have for him, conveying every ounce of affection and gratitude and longing pent up inside me.

“You don’t have to tell me anything, Peeta,” I whisper against his lips.

I feel his hand cradle the back of my head, massaging my scalp. “I don’t want to keep anything from you,” he finally says, resting his forehead against mine. “Not anything that you want to know.”

My eyes fall, breaking contact with his. I have questions, yes — understatement if I ever heard one — but I refuse to pry and I’m terrified to ask and I don’t even know where to begin after what I read.

But then something catches my attention. A thick, red, angry line, splayed right in the middle of Peeta’s chest. It stands out vividly against his pale skin and blonde chest hair and I can’t look away from it now.

“What’s this?” I murmur, running my finger lightly across the surface, clocking the way Peeta cringes a little at the contact. “Does that hurt?”

He looks at the wall behind my head for a long moment before nodding. “That’s from a whip.” He meets my gaze again before casting his eyes low. “I don’t remember what I did to earn it.”

“Nothing,” I immediately gasp, my head shaking and brows knitting together. The idea that Peeta earned anything that happened in that mansion blasphemous to my ears. “You did nothing, baby.”

“I know,” he agrees, pressing his lips to my forehead lightly. “I just can’t remember why they whipped me that day.”

That day. Because there’s so many days where he was whipped to choose from. Of course.

My eyes land on another mark, this one dark purple and almost circular, high up on his torso, almost on his shoulder. It’s not a bruise, although at first glance it could be mistaken for one. No, it’s definitely a scar. From what, I can’t tell.

I trace it with my thumb, rubbing it back and forth. It’s raised and rough to the touch, a little jagged even, like it never properly healed.

His hand comes up to touch my arm, almost out of reflex, halting my ministrations. “That’s from the early days,” he explains, with almost a touch of humor in his voice. “They were more creative then… and they had a lot of matches on hand.”

It takes me a beat to figure out what he means by matches. “Fire? Fire matches, Peeta?”

“Yeah.” He nods sheepishly. “Snow had a big supply evidently.”

“I will burn him alive,” I say through gritted teeth before I can think better of it.

“Calm down, firecracker,” Peeta laughs but I’m fuming. I’m fuming mad and ready to fight at a moments notice. I probably could even make a half-decent propo right now, the amount of venom coursing through my veins.

I encourage my own anger, feed it, in fact. Because I want to be angry. I want to feel this rage.

Because if I don’t, I’ll start crying. And that’ll only serve to make Peeta feel even worse. Which I can’t let happen.

I’ve already done that too many times.

I don’t tell him any of what I’m thinking. Nothing good could come from that. Instead I search for a way to mask my anger, protect him from seeing it.

I stretch up and press a kiss against the corner of Peeta’s mouth, traveling to his chin, down the side of his neck and over his collarbone.

He responds by letting out a deep sigh, clearly enjoying the attention.

I journey further down his body until my lips land on his chest, exactly where his scar is.

“What are you doing?” He asks breathlessly, peering down at me now. “You don’t have to-“

“Let me,” I whisper, tracing it again with my finger. He shudders a little at the contact. “Let me make it better.”

I hear him swallow hard. “Okay.” He nods a little, quietly inhaling and exhaling.

I lean in slowly and press my lips to the mark, the whip scar, soft and tender.

I can feel him relax beneath me, deflating almost. I don’t sense any sign of discomfort, so I take that as my cue to continue on, kissing the same spot again and again, moving up and down the length of his wound, creating a circuit and following it repeatedly, waiting until he tells me to stop.

“Katniss,” he murmurs, sounding almost pained, like my name hurts.

“Yeah?“

“Thank you.” His voice is almost inaudible, almost a praise or a plea. Tears leak out the corners of his tired eyes.

I have to fight to keep my lip from trembling, to stop myself from crying too. Instead I crawl up his body, keeping my legs wrapped around his waist and fold my arms loosely around his neck.

“Let me kiss them all,” I say into his skin. My mouth travels across the top of his shoulder, my eyes closed, moving by the touch of my lips alone, not stopping until I land on his burn.

I press kiss after kiss into the bumpy, rough scar, until I feel Peeta’s breathing even out against me. I feel his heart beating against me and his chest rise and fall with mine, and an ember of hope that my method may be working grows stronger.

“Roll over for me,” I urge, keeping my voice as gentle as my touch.

“You don’t have to do them all,” he says but I can tell he’s enjoying this immensely. I can tell this helping him more than any treatment the doctors have recommended.

“I want to, Peeta,” I insist, no question in my tone.

Slowly and lethargically, he complies, rolling over so his back is facing me. I keep my hold on him, both my arms and legs wrapped around him like a baby animal clings to their mother.

He has a plethora of scars and wounds on his back. More than I’ve been able to stomach yet. Not once since his rescue have I been able to truly face the sight before me now.

I begin at the top, resting the palms of my hands on his shoulder blades, pressing my mouth to the center of his spine, to the back of his neck, the back of his ribs, anywhere with a painful mark or dark bruise.

I keep going, never tiring, as if I can kiss him better. As if my kiss can take away everything that’s happened, everything that I unintentionally caused and everything I ache to go back and stop. I kiss him like I can make him whole again. Like I can heal his fractured heart.

Eventually he relaxes underneath me, his breathing evens out again and he goes slack.

Even then, I keep kissing him. Even in his sleep, I refuse to stop trying to heal his hurt.

“I love you, Peeta,” I whisper against his arm, knowing full well that he cannot hear me anymore. “I love you and I’m so sorry that I couldn’t save you from this. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.”

My lips are still on his back when the doctors order me out of the room.

-

[gaspshichat]

hi chat. pearl made me cry at 9:30 in the morning so y'all know what time is it. warning there will be swears [i say the f word ☹️] bc i haven't slept but i'm somehow not sick rn which. hasn't happened in weeks

[and a quick health update: pretty sure i have narrowed down what's making me sick to three possible things. i'm hopefully seeing my doctor soon bc the refill on my meds expires in june. we're so close and i haven't been able to breathe]

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OH MY GOD. Y'ALL. IF YOU'RE FOLLOWING ME AND SOMEHOW AREN'T A PEARL FAN. HOW ???? GO. GO BE A PEARL FAN. IT'S A THREAT

pearl is funny and kind and caring. there is a reason i gave her 10k bits the other day. she deserves the entire world and more. i don't know what the world did to her that made her so kind

i'm not the only one who has a message though !! here are a few messages from people but i've seen so many in reblogs and tweets and whatnot

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from my lovely partner tay aka twitter user PandoraRxse: I can’t catch streams very often but your videos always make me smile and I always look forward to a new upload. Keep doing what you’re doing, you’re amazing Pearl

from lovely twitter user SKYBL1NGS: shes like genuinely super funny and has great content that everyone can get into and shes really pretty and i loce pearlecentmoon

from a lovely anonymous twitter user: she is genuinly such an amazing artist, both in minecraft and in real life, all of her art is so lively in a way that i'm not sure how to describe best. also she is such a kind human being :))

from lovely tumblr user sapphicwhimsy: pearl is such a lovely and sweet person. shes SO kind to everyone in chat, new or old, and creates such a lovely environment to hang around in. her streams are the only ones i can sit through fully, and she has SUCH a lovely voice! i could listen to her read the dictionary, because im sure she would make it interesting. she has such a way to make everything interesting! even things like sitting still for thirty minutes can be something interesting in a pearl stream, because shes always got such amazing things to say. shes absolutely beautiful, inside and out, with a kind soul that matches her through and through. the fact that she always tries to read everyone out personally, and tries to pronounce their names correctly - and accepts corrections wholeheartedly - is so nice. and shes so wonderfully accepting to all of her community, and always has well wishes for everyone. shes truly a very wonderful and accepting person, who deserves the world! honestly the sweetest person ive ever came across.

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anyway onto the next part of why i made this post

HOW THE FUCK IS SHE SO PRETTY. WHAT. IT'S GENUINELY UNFAIR. SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE COULD BE A GODDAMN SCULPTURE

LIKE COME ON. I WISH I COULD DRAW SO I COULD DRAW HER. SHE'S BEAUTIFUL. WHAT THE HELL. LOOK AT HER

featuring other GORGEOUS women. my god. i am so

anyway :)) it took me an hour and a half to write this bc i kept getting distracted. in short. pearl is so amazing and wonderful. it's weird how she remembers things about me and actually cares ???

also. SHE PRONOUNCED MY NAME CORRECTLY ???? I'VE HEARD SUCH TERRIBLE PRONUNCIATIONS BUT PEARL. SHE SAID IT RIGHR FIRST TRY. WHAT. i kind of want to hear how karn would attempt to pronounce it

[bc yes. i'm okay with anyone, including streamers, calling me vyren. you know me better than my dad does. it's okay to call me vy, vyren, gasp, or gasps]

sleepy brain wrote this post and i want to say so much more but i can't. i had a better message when i did my 10k bits message but that thing is long gone. the only way pearl knows about those bits is if she sees this

and to her community: i love y'all. y'all are lovely. thanks for helping make my shitty life a little brighter. the world may not be kind to me, but y'all are. thank y'all for that. y'all are so lovely

pearl, if you see this, sending all the love to you and your three cats. and yes. karn is the third cat

[vorgoths]

i can't believe 2023 is almost at an end, and to me, that means that it's been about 2 years since i remade my tumblr. with that said, i wanted to take this time to express how much i appreciate all of the mutuals who decided to continue following me on this second tumblr account plus all of the new mutuals that i have met since then.

when i first joined tumblr back in october 2010, i really did not expect to have any followers or even mutuals, especially since i tend to keep to myself most of the time. but then i met so many wonderful people on this website whether they shared the same interests as me, posted amazing creative works for their fandoms ( and even inspired me to dabble with gifmaking again, oh and please support creators on this website by reblogging their work! ), or brought absolute joy on my dash.

to my mutuals, even if we haven't talked once or i haven't checked in with you, please know that i love you, and i'm thankful to be a mutual of yours. thank you for your messages, tagging me in your posts, and just being lovely all around. i honestly don't think i would have created another account after losing access to my first one if it weren't for all of you. you guys truly deserve all the love and praise in the world 🖤✨

so if you haven't already, please consider checking out my mutuals' tumblrs and following them! i'm wishing everyone all the best in the new year 🎉

( part 1 of 2 ) @ad-astrah | @aemondtragaryen | @alcottts | @annacoleman | @benoitblanc | @binickmiller | @blackpnk | @bladesrunner | @bo-kryzze | @buckleys-diaz | @calkestis | @camila-morrones | @cardigan | @charles-beckendorf | @cheddarholt | @cuteskywalker | @daenerys-targaryen | @daughter-rhaenyra | @dadralt | @darcylewish | @dearemma | @deepshadows | @dindjarism | @doctor-donnaa | @dramatical | @dreamersmagician | @elsewherelove | @esterexpositio | @eva-greens | @fenrysmoonbeam | @fireplceashes | @galeofwaterdeeps | @ginasporter | @guinevereslancelot | @gr-ogu | @heroeddiemunson | @huntbastian | @itsmellslikeinfidelity | @jesicajones | @jynerso | @kalemakar | @katecastle | @kazsbrekker | @kenobismullet | @keyfili | @kiss-evans | @krystalgoderitch

[felixravinstills]

abyssal!!! from your reblog, I wanted to know: what is your interpretation of clemmie? :D

Okay, so I talked about my interpretation of Clemmie a little over here where I described why I lowkey ship my interpretation of Clemmie and Lyssie (I think you've mentioned wanting to read my oc fic, Close Your Eyes, so I suppose I should warn you that there are spoilers for that in the previously linked post).

Anyway, I'm more of a Clemensia did join the Rebellion but more as a once she can extrapolate her own suffering at Gaul's hands as a wider issue of the Capitol. They let her get away with that, and she'd want revenge even subconsciously.

I think that once she starts going down the path of rebellion against the Capitol, she will start to emphasize more with the Districts (this happens faster in my fic because of bonding with Lyssie reasons but if that doesn't happen, I think she could get there independently), but at some level, there will always be revenge on her mind.

I really love you and Lily pointing out that Clemensia isn't just one-dimensionally nice! I've always thought that Clemensia is obviously nice and pleasant to her friends, but in my head, she would have a vindictive side.

I think a lot of people excuse Clemensia's behavior after the snake bite as just a consequence of the venom or the circumstance (not you or anyone specifically, I'm talking generally as I never see it addressed), and while it is definitely a consequence of the situation. It's not easy having one of your close friends seemingly turn his back on you while you suffer through something like this alone, and everyone who is treating you is in on the coverup.

It's obviously not her at her best, but I do think that the vindictiveness that this event has activated won't go away. To me, her behavior to Coriolanus and Reaper after she's released from the hospital is her lashing out. In my mind, her refusal to feed Reaper is actually directly linked to her lashing out at Coriolanus, but since, Coriolanus isn't really a viable target for her rage in this public setting and seeing he is also a Capitolite, she subconsciously (or consciously we don't know) takes her anger out on Reaper by not even trying to send him food (Ch. 18) and isn't it interesting that once she and Coriolanus have their unspoken moment of forgiveness with the soap (Ch. 20), she becomes more concerned about getting food for Reaper? She states:

“A lot of good it will do me,” Clemensia murmured to Coriolanus. “He doesn’t trust me enough to eat anything I send.”

She's known Coriolanus for years. She can reason away him not going against Gaul (for now. idk after he starts apprenticing under her), because what can he really do? She asks. I think that once she starts stewing on matters, she could very well redirect her anger to Gaul and eventually the Capitol as a whole.

Also, for people who haven't read the other post, the privilege that Anon is referring to is: her popularity, her affluent family (in my other post, I was comparing her to Lyssie. contrasting Clem's dad being a politician while Lyssie's parents being doctors), and being close to Snow (I think he would have a small blindspot for Clemmie and Festus. Not that it would mean much in the end but... it's a small smokescreen).

Furthermore, Clemensia is nice and pleasant, but it's interesting that she's not one of the people Coriolanus invites to Sejanus' posthumous birthday party in the Epilogue. I think she does enforce the Capitol-District divide, but there's some empathy there. She's able to put herself in the shoes of people from the District when she states that the tributes might be made into Avoxes if the Games are cancelled, and then saying that it would be what she would prefer over death (Ch. 6). I don't think most Capitolites would outloud compare their own opinions to those of the Tributes (it feels like a small admittance to a certain level of equality). I think in tbosas, Clemensia's empathy for the Districts is just a seed, but again, it can grow.

Also Clemensia and Coriolanus as potential foils in how they react to the snake bite incident would be interesting to explore. Both of them coming to the same conclusion about them being seen as expendable by the Capitol at large, but potentially doing different things about it. Also the irony of someone named Clemensia leaning into revenge is fun to think about for me (although I think that again she probably starts empathizing with the Districts at some point). I think it would be fun if she never truly grapples with how her want for revenge against the Capitol affects her decisions. I like that to everyone around her, she says she's doing the right thing, but deep down, she knows it not completely altruistic which is the main cause of conflict in my ideal clemmie/lyssie ship. she knows that lyssie is so good and yet.. okay, i'll stop

(there could also be something cool about Clemensia potentially wielding forgiveness like a weapon in the same way the virtue/goddess Clementia was wielded by Julius Caesar to weaken his enemies' standing as enemy's allies were more willing to surrender to Caesar due to his rep for clemency. something about Coriolanus finding absolution in Gaul's ideology but Clemensia somehow finding a way to use his guilt for the snakes against him years later or her getting info from the dead men walking that fell out of Snow's favor through pedaling her own absolution. "You can make a difference. Tell me his secrets.")

...

Thanks for the ask, Eddie and anon! Obligatory, I hope this makes sense! Feel free to ask more questions or clarifications! I've been typing this on and off, so it might be disjointed idk