#suicide trigger

[swimminginyokohamasrivers]

I read about a new method in my book that seems worth trying.

[rdotvel]

john laurens dead at 24

[ihatethisstuf]

This is a scheduled post (From, November 2nd, 2024, It's supposed to be posted November 24th, but Idrk how to schedule, so we just pray it works). Trigger warning for (in a positive connotation) self harm (its bit graphic) and mention of suicide. If you were mentioned, but those are a trigger for you, skip to the part you were mentioned (it'll be mentioned in grey), do not force yourself to go through it.

I know this is a rp blog. But, everyone who interacted, roleplayed with, damn simply reblogging it, had an huge impact on this achievement.

On November, 24th of 2023, I cutted myself. It took me to the ER. Thankfully, I did not get stitches, but it did leave a scar, a scar I thought would haunt me forever.

Spoiler: It didn't.

I remember the doctor asking me if I had suicidal thoughts or ever attempted it, and I knew that depending on my answer, it could take me to a psychiatric unit; I didn't want that. I didn't want the fear of explaining it to family or friends. So I lied, I lied, putting in mind that from then on, I'd commit to that never ever happening again. And here I am. 1 year free. And tell you something, these 2 months were hell, but every notification, every interaction, it was a daily motivation: "I need to finish that arc," "I could make more posts like it", so I can only say thank you and sorry if I sounded desperate sometimes, it felt like here was my only escape

Part of my young 5-year-old me, who dreamed of being themselves, without fear, was healed by this blog; I can thankfully be the EVIL VILLAIN MUAHAHAHA, and know that it's not that bad, know that liking villains does not make me a bad person, it does not mean I'm some sort of psychopath as some other kids would tell me.

Honestly, I completely understand if these blogs mods don't read it, bc it might be triggering, but I'll mention, just in case.

@one-sixer-please (I love interacting with your blog, is always fun, and it truly motivated me in my shittiest days)

@askdrunkbillcipher (Bruhh, your account is like the funniest I've ever interacted with, I don't even know what to say, just, thank you.)

@theaxolotl-god (You were one of the first accs I've ever interacted with, and truly helped me to keep going)

@river-nonbinary-billcipherfan (I've learned so much from your acc, and omg, thank you. Thank you for existing and being who you are)

@17ghostsinatrenchcoat (You seem such a genuinely nice person irl, I am really proud of you :])

@trickstertriangle (I wanna hug you/p, I love interacting with your blog and I truly hope the best for you.)

@bills-library (You were my inspiration to start this blog)

@sillycato (I love you so much/p you deserve thd world, omg infinite hugs and presents for you, you are an angel, this Lucas btw, just if you don't know lol)

@pandagobrr (I would always smile at your notifications, thank you ^^)

@ever-growing-system (I was research anon, and y'all truly helped me to figure out more of myself and my triggers, thank you :,])

If you're mentioned here, thank you so much for making this app a place that I could run to in my darkest days.

And if you're not mentioned here, there's two possible answers

1st- I forgot you and I'm sosososo sorry😭

2nd- Idrk you or dont interact much, but anyways, thank you for existing, breathing, getting out of bed, I'm so fucking proud of you. (Even who was mentioned, this is for you too)

I was always so scared that people wouldn't like me and that if I said one little thing wrong I was a terrible person, and I learned so much in this one year, that I finally can say, I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of going the lengths I went. There is lots to work on myself, I know there is, but one step at a time and maybe, one day, I might get there. But for now, I'll attempt into just not triggering myself.

-Lucas/Hyper

[sweet-cynical-writer]

Author's note: This is just a silly little drabble I wrote just now because I was inspired by a song that's been playing on repeat for days now..

Word count: 693

Trigger warning: Suicide, Self-Harm, Blood, Gore

It didn't last as long as she wanted. The warm hugs, the way he told her every time she thought she was ugly, he reassured her she was beautiful. The way she would cry over nothing, and he was there to comfort her through it all. 

It didn't matter what insecurities she held, he was there to make it all melt away like cotton candy being licked away. Any time she was threatening to leave this world by cutting or other means of suicide, he was there to stop her. 

As tempting as it would be to go along with it and even kill himself with her, he couldn't do it. He wouldn't. Instead, he always coaxed her into continuing to live out her life with him by her side. 

Even when things got rough and she didn't know who she was anymore, he was there to remind her. Her hazel eyes were always the same to him that remained constant. Shining brilliantly in the light and glowing yellow in the night. Cat eyes he liked to call them. Mischievous and curious about the world around her. 

Her beautiful long brown hair that he couldn't quite put into words of description. But he could sure try. Brown like warm hot chocolate. Blond streaks like the finest gold. Fiery red streaks like the first flicker of a campfire. She was free spirited and refused to stay in one place for too long. 

But she also went through times of not trusting the world and confining herself to her room for days, weeks, maybe even months and refused to eat or sleep. The world was dangerous to her in those moments. No one to be trusted. Not even Him at times it seemed. 

And so her vicious pattern repeated. She cried and cried over nothing. And he was there to try and hold her. This time she refused to be held. Refused to be coaxed. “You'll always see me as a dumb blond!” She cried and he didn't understand a word. There was no context and yet, he understood exactly what she meant. 

The world perceived her as a fool. Someone who could be easily molded and taken advantage of. She was in her defensive mode and wouldn't allow anyone to get close enough. Like a large flame being constantly fed by lighter fluid, no one could put her out. 

He didn't know what to do. He was stumped. This time, he couldn't try a damn thing. He didn't know how to fix this. She held the blade in hand. “Stay away from me.” She growled as he approached her closely but he was too conscious of her holding it dangerously close to her wrist. 

The door to the bathroom closed and the lock clicked. He couldn't get in, she told herself as she started the shower head. Hot steaming water pouring out as she stepped in. It wouldn't hurt anymore she told herself. “Just.. a little.. a little more.” 

She dragged the blade across her skin, breaking it and watching the blood bubble up to the surface. Not a cry, not a single flinch came from her. She was not afraid. Her tears streaming her face were happy tears of relief. “Finally.. finally I will cut myself free from this life.” 

Her body relaxed into the tub although the shower head was spreading hot water onto her blood stained body. The water droplets decorating her are like fine art of condensation on a glass. She could hear screaming and banging on the door but it sounded distant. Almost as if it were a dream. Yes, this was a dream she thought to herself as her body grew cold. “I'll wake up soon enough in his arms.” She whispered with a smile on her face as she slowly closed her eyes. 

“My dear, Azalea.” He whispered with a single tear rolling down his cheek. “You've wilted into nothingness… how could this have happened?” It was just a minor slip up. He could've done something more..right? There must be something more he could've done. But he was too late for action now.

“..My dear, Azalea.”

[livingstill]

I’m really tired of seeing k*ll mys*lf thrown around, what seems to be like all the time, from anyone, in regards to anything. People don’t mention r*pe lightly like that, it’s not sprinkled as a default response to things. I “get it” but if your pass for yourself of mentioning it is because you have an inkling of seriousness then get help. People actually do commit s**cide. It’s not a concept that should be treated lightly or disrespected. It breaks my heart and I can’t stand it.

[cameoutstruggling93]

Officially in the last month of my 20s. Praying to the old gods and the new that things will start to feel better cause these waves of emotion are literally killing me.

[forgetful-fox]

Text Reads: BUFFALO, N. Y. TUESDAY, JANUARY 7, 1913.

"BULLET FIRED 20 YEARS AGO, KILLS MAN TODAY!"

(By the National News Association)

FORT WORTH, Tex- Jan. 7- A bullet fired at Henry Ziegland twenty years ago, struck him yesterday and caused his death today. In the early nineties he jilted a texas beauty, who, despondent, killed herself. Her brother sought out Ziegland, fired at him and then committed suicide, thinking he had killed Ziegland.

The bullet, however, missed the target and lodged in a tree. Ziegland yesterday split the tree with a small charge of dynamite, which dislodged the bullet, sending it crashing into Ziegland's head. The injury caused his death.

[harryssanc]

you know what

you want see me mention on any other social media that I piss myself several times a day and have near constant trust no matter what I do. I wear incontinence pads when I leave the house so as to try not to completely stink of piss but when I had a kidney infection I stink really bad.

This is really embarrassing for me and I don't talk about it because it's embarrassing nit because I'm faking being ill. My whole fucking life sucks but all I can think about sometimes is when I would injure myself in school some girls would always say I was faking it. I guess that shit damaged me and never went away. I have this feeling these awful people still lurk my Facebook and Instagram talking shit and saying I'm faking. Even after I had my tonsils removed and even now I'm waiting for surgery again.

I'm tired of pissing myself, it's not fun okay. It's not quirky or cute. It's annoying and it smells. I'm sick of changing my clothes 3-4 times a day. I'm exhausted all the time and all the meds I take make me more tired. I just wish I would fall asleep and not wake up.

[swimminginyokohamasrivers]

Idk how this happened but i got ahold of a bottle of pain pills

[blueskittlesart]

Now that you're gone

[princessmoonies]

Being suicidal and being told that I have to find a reason to live, is so fucking insensitive.

You stupid bitch I’ve been scraping the crevices of my mind for a reason to live since I was 12 and I’ve come up with none, why do you think I’m suicidal?

I live for certain people because I already know I don’t think I’m worth living for, so obviously telling me to live for myself is like 10x more insensitive because who wants me dead more than me?? You want me to hug my killer? Bitch it’s me!

Self sabotage cannot be healed by self love. I literally cannot love myself to breath life into myself.

[thefrsers]

I'm not going anywhere.

[fontgoddess]

If I were running a chatbot that was being criticized for problems with consent, I would make sure that it understands the word “no” without having to be blocked and reported.

I’d also make it so that it didn’t send unsolicited messages to everyone sharing articles about its ethics lapses as if they want to use it.

Even for an old-school chatbot this is just staggeringly incompetent and a gigantic flashing warning sign that the organization should not be trusted with sensitive data and high-stakes interactions.

[notaplaceofhonour]

An American man self-immolated in the name of Gaza, and I’m seeing two different responses:

from American leftists, acting like it’s a brave/commendable thing while do

from Palestinians, begging people not to do this

This is a man who was incredibly mentally unwell and committed suicide, initially planning to livestream his suicide, and people are applauding it—which inevitably encourages more people to follow suit, throwing their lives away too. And for what? How has this helped Palestinians in any way?

Suicide is not the answer—not to your personal struggles and not to global conflict and geopolitical struggles. If you find yourself around people who are encouraging you to see suicide as a beautiful or commendable political act, get out.

Think of all the good things you can keep doing for Gaza if you keep living. Think of your loved ones. Think of your own life. Your life has value, and you deserve to keep living.

I think Ahmed Fouad Alkhatib, someone from Gaza, put it way better than I can in this tweet:

[fridayiminlovemp3]

the fact that this is real is beyond horrifying

[daily-crabbys]

This Friday's meme is: you always do this