#suicide trigger

[swimminginyokohamasrivers]

I read about a new method in my book that seems worth trying.

[rdotvel]

john laurens dead at 24

[sweet-cynical-writer]

Author's note: This is just a silly little drabble I wrote just now because I was inspired by a song that's been playing on repeat for days now..

Word count: 693

Trigger warning: Suicide, Self-Harm, Blood, Gore

It didn't last as long as she wanted. The warm hugs, the way he told her every time she thought she was ugly, he reassured her she was beautiful. The way she would cry over nothing, and he was there to comfort her through it all. 

It didn't matter what insecurities she held, he was there to make it all melt away like cotton candy being licked away. Any time she was threatening to leave this world by cutting or other means of suicide, he was there to stop her. 

As tempting as it would be to go along with it and even kill himself with her, he couldn't do it. He wouldn't. Instead, he always coaxed her into continuing to live out her life with him by her side. 

Even when things got rough and she didn't know who she was anymore, he was there to remind her. Her hazel eyes were always the same to him that remained constant. Shining brilliantly in the light and glowing yellow in the night. Cat eyes he liked to call them. Mischievous and curious about the world around her. 

Her beautiful long brown hair that he couldn't quite put into words of description. But he could sure try. Brown like warm hot chocolate. Blond streaks like the finest gold. Fiery red streaks like the first flicker of a campfire. She was free spirited and refused to stay in one place for too long. 

But she also went through times of not trusting the world and confining herself to her room for days, weeks, maybe even months and refused to eat or sleep. The world was dangerous to her in those moments. No one to be trusted. Not even Him at times it seemed. 

And so her vicious pattern repeated. She cried and cried over nothing. And he was there to try and hold her. This time she refused to be held. Refused to be coaxed. “You'll always see me as a dumb blond!” She cried and he didn't understand a word. There was no context and yet, he understood exactly what she meant. 

The world perceived her as a fool. Someone who could be easily molded and taken advantage of. She was in her defensive mode and wouldn't allow anyone to get close enough. Like a large flame being constantly fed by lighter fluid, no one could put her out. 

He didn't know what to do. He was stumped. This time, he couldn't try a damn thing. He didn't know how to fix this. She held the blade in hand. “Stay away from me.” She growled as he approached her closely but he was too conscious of her holding it dangerously close to her wrist. 

The door to the bathroom closed and the lock clicked. He couldn't get in, she told herself as she started the shower head. Hot steaming water pouring out as she stepped in. It wouldn't hurt anymore she told herself. “Just.. a little.. a little more.” 

She dragged the blade across her skin, breaking it and watching the blood bubble up to the surface. Not a cry, not a single flinch came from her. She was not afraid. Her tears streaming her face were happy tears of relief. “Finally.. finally I will cut myself free from this life.” 

Her body relaxed into the tub although the shower head was spreading hot water onto her blood stained body. The water droplets decorating her are like fine art of condensation on a glass. She could hear screaming and banging on the door but it sounded distant. Almost as if it were a dream. Yes, this was a dream she thought to herself as her body grew cold. “I'll wake up soon enough in his arms.” She whispered with a smile on her face as she slowly closed her eyes. 

“My dear, Azalea.” He whispered with a single tear rolling down his cheek. “You've wilted into nothingness… how could this have happened?” It was just a minor slip up. He could've done something more..right? There must be something more he could've done. But he was too late for action now.

“..My dear, Azalea.”

[livingstill]

I’m really tired of seeing k*ll mys*lf thrown around, what seems to be like all the time, from anyone, in regards to anything. People don’t mention r*pe lightly like that, it’s not sprinkled as a default response to things. I “get it” but if your pass for yourself of mentioning it is because you have an inkling of seriousness then get help. People actually do commit s**cide. It’s not a concept that should be treated lightly or disrespected. It breaks my heart and I can’t stand it.

[cameoutstruggling93]

Officially in the last month of my 20s. Praying to the old gods and the new that things will start to feel better cause these waves of emotion are literally killing me.

[forgetful-fox]

Text Reads: BUFFALO, N. Y. TUESDAY, JANUARY 7, 1913.

"BULLET FIRED 20 YEARS AGO, KILLS MAN TODAY!"

(By the National News Association)

FORT WORTH, Tex- Jan. 7- A bullet fired at Henry Ziegland twenty years ago, struck him yesterday and caused his death today. In the early nineties he jilted a texas beauty, who, despondent, killed herself. Her brother sought out Ziegland, fired at him and then committed suicide, thinking he had killed Ziegland.

The bullet, however, missed the target and lodged in a tree. Ziegland yesterday split the tree with a small charge of dynamite, which dislodged the bullet, sending it crashing into Ziegland's head. The injury caused his death.

[blueskittlesart]

Now that you're gone

[princessmoonies]

Being suicidal and being told that I have to find a reason to live, is so fucking insensitive.

You stupid bitch I’ve been scraping the crevices of my mind for a reason to live since I was 12 and I’ve come up with none, why do you think I’m suicidal?

I live for certain people because I already know I don’t think I’m worth living for, so obviously telling me to live for myself is like 10x more insensitive because who wants me dead more than me?? You want me to hug my killer? Bitch it’s me!

Self sabotage cannot be healed by self love. I literally cannot love myself to breath life into myself.

[endomentendo]

TW: suicide reference/ drug abuse

Should I continue this as a painting?

[thefrsers]

I'm not going anywhere.

[swimminginyokohamasrivers]

Idk how this happened but i got ahold of a bottle of pain pills

[fontgoddess]

If I were running a chatbot that was being criticized for problems with consent, I would make sure that it understands the word “no” without having to be blocked and reported.

I’d also make it so that it didn’t send unsolicited messages to everyone sharing articles about its ethics lapses as if they want to use it.

Even for an old-school chatbot this is just staggeringly incompetent and a gigantic flashing warning sign that the organization should not be trusted with sensitive data and high-stakes interactions.

[notaplaceofhonour]

An American man self-immolated in the name of Gaza, and I’m seeing two different responses:

from American leftists, acting like it’s a brave/commendable thing while do

from Palestinians, begging people not to do this

This is a man who was incredibly mentally unwell and committed suicide, initially planning to livestream his suicide, and people are applauding it—which inevitably encourages more people to follow suit, throwing their lives away too. And for what? How has this helped Palestinians in any way?

Suicide is not the answer—not to your personal struggles and not to global conflict and geopolitical struggles. If you find yourself around people who are encouraging you to see suicide as a beautiful or commendable political act, get out.

Think of all the good things you can keep doing for Gaza if you keep living. Think of your loved ones. Think of your own life. Your life has value, and you deserve to keep living.

I think Ahmed Fouad Alkhatib, someone from Gaza, put it way better than I can in this tweet:

[fridayiminlovemp3]

the fact that this is real is beyond horrifying

[daily-crabbys]

This Friday's meme is: you always do this

[kropotkindersurprise]

January 29, 2023 - Some uplifting news from the US:

Neo-nazi piece of shit Teddy von Nukem (his legal name lmao), who featured in some of the viral photos from the tiki torch march in Charlottesville, killed himself at age 35, a day before his trial for drug trafficking was set to begin.

He was also one of the attackers in the brutal beating of DeAndre Harris in Charlottesville the next day, but was never charged for that, despite being identified in video. But anyway, he’s dead now lol. Good riddance to bad rubbish. [link]