#moving on from the ghost of Shannon

[littlerosetrove]

Eddie being baffling this season so far when it comes to Marisol nolastname:

has used her as a babysitter multiple times, especially when he wants to hang out with Tommy or probably even Buck.

on a call said he was "taken at the moment", which is WILD considering maybe a couple weeks later he:

"goes with his gut" and asks his girlfriend of maybe 4 months to move in with him, and then:

3-ish days later says, wait. nevermind. we don't actually know all that much about each other huh? ok, move out please haha!

BUT ALSO during the 3-ish days Marisol was barely moved in, --> Eddie's gut instinct to part of that mess (him not knowing how to set boundaries and say "hey, i don't want to have sex") was to break up with her. he may have been joking, but there was legit truth in it. alas. --> Bobby delicately tells Eddie he didn't think Eddie was so invested in Marisol that he'd ask her to move in already (which implies Eddie doesn't really even talk about her that much, let alone is serious about her). Bobby says you don't have commitment issues with some things. --> you can see on Eddie's face he really does think he should break up with Marisol, or at the very least has Definite Doubts about her, but pushes those correct feelings away to. double down with Marisol (stay with her anyway)... for some reason.

Marisol was MIA from either wedding, the big one and the one at the hospital. (Abuela was at the hospital wedding for some reason. no idea why, but it is funny that she's Eddie's plus one.)

In conclusion: Eddie and this whole nothing burger of a relationship is perplexing. I know Marisol is just a catalyst for Eddie's Catholic guilt apparently, but GD.

Also, Eddie I love you, but you're kind of a terrible boyfriend. Marisol like Ana also seems to have zero friends to tell her to leave already.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Thinking thoughts about Abuela being back and with this backstory about her being taken in by charlatans and Eddies whole catholic guilt thing and how the two things kind of play into one another as an exploration of faith and being taken in by something.

Abuela giving all her money to the tarot card readers etc because she was searching for something - for connection (with Abuelo) - trying to recapture what she had lost, and How Eddie has spoken about trying to re-find the magic he had with Shannon - how Eddie hasn't actually fully reconciled the Shannon of it all when it comes to relationships and how his Catholic guilt connects into that.

How Marisol as a physical representation of Catholicism is part of that narrative - how Eddie is entering a place where he has to chose his path - in order to move on from Shannon he needs to fully square the hole - catholic or non catholic. And how that needs to happen first - before he can begin his queer journey!

[simplylupin]

Vertigo and Eddie Diaz

because the connection has been made between eddie's current arc and hitchcock's vertigo, i thought i'd give my two cents on the topic as a mediocre film student whose had to study vertigo for two years of her life

so here's a basic (very over-simplified) summary of vertigo for those who are unfamiliar

The protagonist, Scottie, is a policeman who took a break/was discharged/retired because he couldn't save a fellow police officer from falling off a building to his death

Because of this he suffers from vertigo and/or fear of heights

He's hired by his old friend Gavin to follow Gavin's wife, Madeline, for fear that she's been possessed by someone called Carlotta Valdez

He does so, and slowly falls in love with Madeline - and her him

We also learn that Scottie's best friend Midge is in love with him, but he's too obsessed with Madeline to notice Midge

Him and Madeline go to a church bell tower where Madeline seemingly offs herself by jumping off

Some time later, Scottie goes to Madeline's old hotel room, and finds a woman called Judy who looks exactly like Madeline

She agrees to go on a date with him

We, the audience, find out that Judy actually is Madeline (and vise versa). She was hired by Gavin to pretend to be Madeline.

Scottie grows more and more obsessed, forcing Judy to change her appearance to look like Madeline

He makes the connection that Madeline and Judy are the same person, and drives her to the bell tower

He forces her up the tower, over coming his fear of heights

Once at the top, they have a confrontation

A nun appears, scaring Judy and she once more falls to her death (really this time)

So, from what I've gathered, the loose connection between characters is:

Scottie = Eddie

Madeline = Shannon

Midge = Buck

Judy = Kim

The Nun = Marisol

Scottie's unable to save his fellow police officer. Eddie was unable to 'save' the people he pulled out the helicopter: "I pulled them out. But I didn't save them." Because of this he suffers from immense guilt and PTSD (as seen in his season 5 arc). He's unable to move on and this hinders him to a certain extent - just like Scottie.

After Shannon's death, he's thrown through the loop again, with the added bonus of him not having been able to save her too. Scottie's job was to save Madeline, and he failed at that, resulting in her 'death'.

Eddie is constantly trying to find a woman to fill that role of Shannon in his and Christopher's life; we see this with both Ana and now Marisol. He's looking for her in them. Scottie does the same - he visits the places he went with Madeline, he goes to her old room.

Eddie finds Kim, Scottie finds Judy.

For a little while, Judy helps Scottie get over and get closure on Madeline. She fills that empty space and allows him to move on. This is what I think Kim is going to do for Eddie.

She looks so much like Shannon but she simply isn't her. We know in later episodes that Buck is going to meet her and proclaim that she's "nothing like Shannon." There's a clear distinction there - Eddie is only seeing Shannon in her because he wants to, because he's still holding onto that idea. I think Kim is going to be the closing point of this ongoing search for Shannon's 'replacement'; someone who looks exactly like Shannon should be perfect, right? But when she too doesn't 'fill' that role that surely must spark some sort of realisation in Eddie, because if not her then who.

For Scottie, he feels betrayed by Judy. He brings her to the last place he saw Madeline, and ultimately, indirectly, causes her death. Obviously I don't believe Kim is actually going to die, but more the idea of her. She's the final chapter of him pursuing Shannon's ghost.

Midge is Scottie's best friend. They met in college and were engaged for a few weeks before breaking up. They spend a lot of time together, staying at each other's houses and going out. She helps Scottie through his vertigo and acrophobia, and tries to 'bring him back' in his grief. At one point, Midge paints her face onto a painting of Carlotta Valdez, showing that she's there and ready for Scottie's love, if he's willing to give it to her.

I believe, in this scenario, Buck takes on her role (for seemingly obvious reasons). Him and Eddie are best friends, they do so much together, he helps Eddie when he's struggling etc etc. Midge is the idea of the 'other woman', someone who is right in front of Scottie's eyes, someone whose always been there for him. However, Scottie is too obsessed and fixated on Madeline that he can't see this and continually brushes it away. You see where I'm going here...

Although Buck potentially doesn't even realize it himself, he has taken on Shannon's role in the Diaz family for years. Eddie already has the 'replacement' for Shannon that he's so desperately been searching for right in front of his eyes.

In Vertigo, Judy and Madeline are the same person, whereas Shannon and Kim are obviously not. However, the comparison still stands.

Scottie meets Judy and immedietely latches onto her because she looks so much like Madeline (duh) and he is so desperate for anything that'll keep Madeline's memory with him. He makes her undergo a series of phsyical changes (dyeing her hair, changing her wardrobe, her style etc etc) so that she appears more like Madeline - so he can get that closure and pretend.

Eddie clearly isn't going to do this to Kim. However, whatever way you spin it, he is projecting Shannon onto her. He saw her, and thought of Shannon, he pursued her because of that, he's doing all this because of Shannon. He is chasing that closure and that moment were he can be like 'Ah. I've finally found someone who can be Shannon for me and Chris.'

I doubt Kim is going to be around particularly long. As much as it sounds diminishing, she really is just a tool for Eddie to have this realization that nobody can replace Shannon, and that that's okay. He doesn't need to find Shannon 2.0.

Now, in Vertigo, when Scottie and Judy are arguing on the bell tower, a nun appears from the shadows and startles them - causing Judy to fall to her death. It's a very abrupt and out of nowhere.

The character of the nun, I think could represent either one of two things. Marisol, as we know, used to be a nun (i'm still not over this btw). That's a pretty straight-forward, clear cut comparison. The nun causes Judy to die, Marisol causes 'Shannon', and the idea of Shannon, to 'die'. This interpretation leans more heavily on Marisol and Eddie staying together, however, so I'm not sure.

The nun could also just represent religion as a whole, and Eddie's Catholic guilt particularly. Eddie tells Bobby that he only really married Shannon because he felt like he had to, he felt pressured into it because of his religious guilt. Despite this, "There was still a part of me that loved being married to her."

There's no doubt in my mind that Eddie loved Shannon. He did, they loved each other, and he still does love her - he always will. I do think that the choice of focussing on his marriage to her and how he "loved being married to her" is interesting though, he doesn't try to clarify that he was in love with her. This could just be because it's a given orrr

Whatever, not really the point.

The point is, the fact he's now "awakened" his Catholic guilt by finding out Marisol was a nun, must mean something for his upcoming arc. In Vertigo, the nun kills Judy. Here, his religious guilt 'kills' the idea of Shannon??

I'll definitely have more ideas about this later but this was my word vomit for now! Let me know what you think please.

(Also something I find funny is that the actress of Madeline/Judy is called Kim!)

[megalony]

Cause Of Malpractice

Thank you all for the lovely feedback on my first Doctor! Eddie Diaz imagine. This is another Doctor! Eddie idea I had an idea for which I hope you will all like.

Let me know what you think.

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Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Summary: Eddie goes down to the hospital on his day off to be with (Y/n) when she has a routine surgery. But when she becomes ill afterwards, Eddie takes over her care and goes on the warpath.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are we staying for dinner?"

Eddie twisted his head to the right and gave his son a pointed look with one arched brow. He could see the cheekiness trying to hide behind a plain smile on Chris's face and he knew his son was just dying to make some kind of quick-witted response that might just get him into trouble. But Chris held his tongue and settled for his smile which made his dad purse his lips.

"Your mum's at work, so what do you think?" He could see his response made Chris happy because he started to nod his head to himself.

It was still new to feel those words on his tongue again after years of teaching himself to refrain from talking about Chris's mum. About Shannon. But now the word mum had a different meaning. It meant (Y/n), and Eddie couldn't have been happier when Chris suddenly asked a few weeks ago if it was okay for him to start calling (Y/n) his mum.

It wasn't something Eddie was sure Chris would ever want to do, after everything that had happened with Shannon. But here Chris was, attached to (Y/n)'s hip and overjoyed that Eddie had married her.

Eddie pulled up in the drive and turned off the ignition but when he looked over at Chris, the eleven year old was already throwing off his belt and hurrying out the car.

They were visiting Eddie's Abuela for the afternoon and she had already asked them to stay for dinner. Food was the one thing that always brought their family together, but for all his faults, Eddie was no chef. All the women in his family had tried to teach him how to cook and growing up, he had been the one to bring up his three sisters while their dad worked away. But even that didn't help his cooking skills. Cereal and pasta were the only things Eddie could cook without burning or making it inedible.

Chris had been overjoyed when (Y/n) moved in with them because she was as good at cooking as her brother, Buck. Bobby had been teaching them both and that meant Chris didn't have to try and cook or suffer Eddie's cooking any longer. Either (Y/n) cooked, Buck came over to cook, Eddie got takeout or their Abuela would usually batch cook and send some their way.

"There are my boys!" Abuela was already out on the porch when Eddie climbed down from the jeep and he grinned, but he stayed next to the door when his phone rang in his back pocket.

He knew that ringtone. Jurassic Park. That was Buck calling. For a reason unknown to Eddie, Chris had set Buck's ringtone in Eddie's phone to the theme song for Jurassic Park. And although Eddie wasn't too keen on having personalised ringtones, it was helpful to know who was calling.

"Hey Buck, everything okay?"

It wasn't normal for Buck to call when he was on shift, Eddie knew his wife and brother in law were both on shift today until late on tonight so neither of them should be calling him. Just like when Eddie was on shift at the hospital, he didn't get much free time to call his loved ones. Unless he was forewarning them that his shift would be extended or they had an emergency.

"Are you at work?"

"No…"

"Can you meet us there? At the hospital… like now?"

"Why?" That didn't sound good. This was Eddie's first day off in almost a week, he had been hoping to spend the day with Chris and his Abuela and then spend the night and tomorrow with his wife.

"(Y/n) collapsed, Hen thinks it's her appendix. We're on route to the hospital now." Buck didn't know whether to be relieved or not that Eddie wasn't on shift.

If he was, they would have to call dispatch to get them to send a memo over to the hospital to page Eddie and let him know the situation. But with him being off work it meant he could answer his phone, but it also meant he might not be around or be able to get to the hospital quick.

Everything had been going fine until (Y/n) collapsed on scene and began throwing up. She was running a fever, cradling her stomach and going dizzy and now she was crying, begging her brother to call Eddie for her. She wanted her husband, her personal doctor. She wanted Eddie to be here, he always managed to calm her down and if she had to be in hospital she wanted him there with her.

"I'm on my way, I'll meet you there."

"Thank you."

With his phone shoved back in his pocket, Eddie slammed the jeep door shut and bustled over to where Chris and his Abuela were stood patiently waiting on the doorstep.

"Everything okay, carino?" Her hand stretched out to cup Eddie's cheek while her lips formed a concerned smile and her head tilted to one side.

"Can you watch him for the afternoon?" Eddie kept his voice low but he knew Chris had heard him all the same and the concern only doubled in his Abuela's eyes. She thought they were both staying all afternoon so they could spend some time together and she could cook for them. Not that she wouldn't be happy to look after Chris, but she wanted to see Eddie too.

"Dad, you said you're not on call this week." Chris reached out to grab Eddie's hand and started swinging it back and forth as he whined. His dad promised he wasn't on call this week and the next three days he was going to be off and able to spend time with his family.

"I'm not, buddy… Buck called, (Y/n)'s going to hospital, she might need surgery I need to go be with her. I'll come back and get him later, or see if Buck can watch him after dinner-"

"Go, we'll be fine." She patted his cheek lightly and gave his shoulder a squeeze before her hands moved to Chris's shoulders.

She would never want Eddie to stay here or have to fret about (Y/n) and be apart from her if she wasn't well. His place was by her side and Chris was more than welcome to stay and keep her company. They played games and cooked together and they would have a grand time while they waited to find out what was going on.

"Will you do mum's surgery?" Chris's head tilted to the right and he looked up at Eddie with a puzzled look and worry pooling in his eyes.

"I don't think I'd be allowed, there are rules for that, but I'll make sure she's being looked after. And I'll call you soon and tell you how she is, but she's gonna be fine. It's not big surgery I promise."

If it really was her appendix, that was minor surgery at best. It wasn't life threatening and (Y/n) would be out the hospital in a few days. Eddie just needed to be there to make sure everything went smoothly and to make sure (Y/n) was alright. God knows she wasn't the best patient in the world and she would panic without Eddie there.

He leaned down and kissed the top of Chris's head, ruffling his hair before he leaned over to kiss his Abuela's cheek.

"You let me know how she is." Her words sounded more like a warning and Eddie nodded before he headed over to the jeep.

He thought when he married Shannon that all his family had liked her, he knew their opinions had changed when she left and he understood that. But he was coming to realise that maybe they hadn't favoured Shannon half as much as Eddie thought now that he was with (Y/n). They cherished (Y/n). All his sisters loved her, his parents welcomed her with open arms just like Chris, and all his aunts and his grandma took to calling her a jewel.

Everyone loved (Y/n) almost as much as they loved Chris, and Eddie couldn't have been happier about that.

It didn't take long to get to the hospital and Eddie was thankful of two things. One, that he had his own parking space so he didn't have to fight for a thin space in the multistory or have to pay extortionate prices for a short stay. And two, that he had his work ID badge in the car.

He kept his ID in the jeep at all times because of the amount of times he left it at home on the dresser in the bedroom or in a pocket in an old pair of trousers.

The badge would let him walk straight through reception and get into the assessment unit without having to wait or ask around for instructions. And the staff all knew him so they wouldn't bat an eyelid at Eddie mulling about the hospital on a mission of his own.

He clipped the badge to his belt, stuffed his keys in his pocket and sped determindedly down the path. Bypassing the main entrance to get down to the emergency room doors. He didn't bother going round to the ambulance entrance, that was another fifteen feet round the side of the building when he could just take the shortcut through the main entrance and let himself into the assessment ward to wait for them and see if they were already here.

His eyes didn't glance around the waiting room to his left and he ignored the two women at the reception desk, both of whom he didn't actually know.

It wasn't hard not to know people when they had hundreds upon hundreds of people working here, and Eddie didn't frequent the ER. He was based up on the second floor either dealing with infection control or in surgery.

"Sir-"

"Doctor Diaz." He muttered without sparing one glance at the receptionist. He flashed his badge at her before using it to open the doors to the assessment ward and he waltzed straight through.

He didn't have to look far before a familiar cry caught his attention and he recognised a tall figure in a black and florescent yellow jacket that read Nash along the bottom.

"Hey! Hey, Bobby." Eddie wasn't as close to the team as he would of liked to be, considering they looked after his wife and brother in law when they were all on shift together. But he knew them from the countless parties the team were always having and a few family dinners they had all frequented.

"Eddie, get in here." The words hit his ears but Bobby's lips didn't move and it took Eddie a lot longer than it should have to realise that it was Buck calling out to him and not Bobby doing some form of ventriliquism.

He felt Bobby's hand briefly on his shoulder, guiding him into the assessment room.

There she was. His wife. Curled up on the assessment bed, knees coiled up to her stomach, arms bound around her waist and Buck desperately trying to keep her from rolling off the bed.

"Diaz, what are you doing here? Isn't it your day off?"

Eddie darted his eyes around the cubicle that was overly cramped, they didn't usually have this many visitors coming in with someone into the ER. But there was Buck, Bobby in the corner, Hen and Chimney stood to the far left and then Eddie's colleague. Doctor Armstrong, trying to lean over (Y/n) but she was wriggling away, hiccupping through her cries.

"This is my wife, I'll assess her." He moved round, circling the end of the bed until he was almost squashing Armstrong in the corner. Giving him the choice of either staying and being in the way or giving in and leaving the room. Eddie might not be on shift today but for now, he was the only one (Y/n) was going to be okay with.

Armstrong nodded, knowing he wasn't going to make much of a difference in here. But when he pointed at the door, Chimney, Hen and Bobby all silently agreed and followed him out. They were going to have to wait out in the hallway so they didn't cramp the room.

"Hey mi amor," Eddie brushed his thumb delicately across her cheek, smiling gently as he leaned over her. "I can't leave you alone for one day, can I?"

(Y/n) tried to crack a smile, but she couldn't find the willpower. Both her wrists were now tangled up in Buck's grip so she would stop squirming and trying to move around. And when she felt Eddie's hands run across her body and try to push her legs down, she began to cry again. Her knees were pressing down on her stomach in an attempt to relieve the pain, straightening out only made her feel worse.

A quiet "Oow," tumbled past her lips as her body began to shake again and she wanted to curl up into the tightest ball to make the pain go away.

"Let's take a look at you."

He could see there was already an oxygen monitor on her index finger and clips attached to her upper chest in case of a cardiac emergency. The heart monitor was already set up too and Eddie hated that his ears zoned in on her heartbeat and he could hear it going haywire in the background.

Swiping the thermometer from the holder, he gently tilted (Y/n)'s chin towards him so he could press it into her ear. Her temperature was at forty degrees, she was burning up.

"Okay, and your blood pressure." He nodded at Buck to let go of her hands and he slid a blood pressure cuff up her arm. "Everything's rising high."

(Y/n) snapped her eyes closed and deadlocked one arm back around her waist while she fumbled to shift onto her right side. She shakily reached her free hand out until she had hold of Eddie's arm. She felt Buck's hand on her shoulder and she shimmied over until she was practically on the edge of the bed, allowing her to bury her face into Eddie's arm.

The small whimper she let out vibrated through his arm into his blood and had Eddie's upper lip curling. He looked down at her again, brushing his finger across her chin when she tugged on his arm.

"Baby?"

"Sick, I- I'm gonna be sick."

Reeling back, Eddie took two steps away and held out a cardboard bucket so (Y/n) could hang her head over the edge and throw up. She began to shiver despite the sweat trickling across her skin but she tried to calm down when she felt Eddie's free hand running through her hair. His fingers tangled in her locks and moved her hair from her face until she finally stopped throwing up. And Buck carefully pulled her back on the bed.

"What's the pain scale, baby? One to ten, where are we at?" Eddie's hands moved to (Y/n)'s shoulders and he carefully rolled her onto her back. He leaned down to peck her temple that felt like kissing an oven with how burning hot she felt against his wet lips.

"Eight." (Y/n) felt like saying ten, but she didn't want to be dramatic. The pain was bad. It was worse than it had been earlier on when she collapsed on shift, it had gotten worse on the journey down to the hospital.

Once she was on her back, Eddie moved her hands down to her sides so he could start pressing his fingertips across her stomach and abdomen.

He bit his lip when (Y/n) cried out, clutching her hands around his arm when he touched the lower right side of her abdomen. He pressed his fingers down on her abdomen again, feeling around even as (Y/n) scratched her nails into his wrist and coiled her legs up.

"Is it her appendix?" Buck scrunched his hands up in the bedsheet and arched over the bed. His lips rolled together as he looked between his sister and his brother in law.

"I think it's burst, appendicitis wouldn't be this painful. Alright, alright baby, let's get you prepped for surgery and find you an OR."

He pressed the call button behind the bed before he creased over and pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head. This surgery would be simple, it shouldn't take too long and (Y/n) would be fine, Eddie would make sure of it. He would stay with her until she went into the operating room and he wasn't leaving until it was done and he could check her over himself.

His eyes darted down to lock with hers when her nimble, trembling fingers curled around his wrists and she tugged on his hands to get him to lean closer.

Her wet lips smothered the side of his neck and her trembling hands pulled his arms to pin them against her chest. Her shakes vibrated through into Eddie but he didn't seem to mind. He unhooked one hand from her grip so he could cup the back of her neck and pull her closer.

"You're gonna be fine."

***

"Hey, how we doing?" A smile lit up Buck's face and his hands gave Chris's shoulders a loving squeeze as he guided the eleven year old into the hospital room.

He had gone home to get a shower and get changed and then he graciously collected Chris from his Abuela the moment Eddie messaged to say (Y/n) was out of surgery.

Eddie didn't want Chris to be panicking or wondering what was going on and Buck was more than willing to have his nephew for the night so Eddie could stay here with (Y/n). She was going to be in tonight and tomorrow and then she could hopefully be discharged if she was well enough.

"Hi boys," (Y/n) groggily moved her free arm out, a silent invitation for Chris to rush over for a hug.

He was careful not to lean on (Y/n) when he hugged her and his arms looped around her neck so he wasn't squeezing her chest or torso. He wasn't sure what an appendix was or where it was in the body and he didn't want to hurt her by mistake. His curls brushed her cheek and (Y/n) grinned and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

She could feel Eddie squeezing her other hand and he leaned across to press a chaste, wet kiss to her neck. His chair was scraped as close to the bed as possible and when (Y/n) woke up little over half an hour ago from surgery, she had been pleasantly surprised to find their hands entwined.

"Are you okay? Did dad operate on you?" Chris leaned back and plopped himself down on the side of the bed while (Y/n) tried to sit up a bit better.

"I told you, buddy, I can't do surgery on family. Doctor Levison did the op, your mum's gonna be fine but she no longer has an appendix."

"I'm okay baby, I feel much better now." (Y/n) kissed his temple before she looked up at her brother as he slouched down in the free chair on her right side after he gave her arm a light squeeze. Buck could see she still looked groggy from the meds, she was finding it hard to keep her eyes open and she was slouched right back into the pillows. But she looked much better than she had when he brought her in earlier today.

Chris reached over and trailed his fingers across (Y/n)'s left hand that was tangled with Eddie's. They could both see the intrigue in his eyes as he looked at the green plastic cap taped into the back of her hand where her IV had been earlier. And when his fingertips travelled up her arm, he circled the pad of his finger over the bandage wrapped around her arm at the crease of her elbow.

"What's that?"

(Y/n) looked between her elbow and her husband and the dazed look in her eyes made Eddie's heart flip and a fondness grew within his pupils. She wasn't sure what it was. She hadn't long come round and lucid from surgery.

"It's a blood transfusion, see? The appendix burst, your mum needs a bit more blood." Eddie pointed up to the bag behind him that was slowly trickling blood through the tube taped into her elbow.

The operation had gone well but because her appendix had burst, (Y/n) had suffered a bit of internal bleeding. She had been dosed on antibiotics to make sure she didn't get an infection and they set her up on a transfusion once the operation was finished.

(Y/n) let her head sink back into the pillows and snuggled down, pulling the cover a bit higher up when a chill tore through her bones. She looked over at Buck, only now realising that he had brought a bag with him and he fished out one of Chris's drawing books and a pack of pens. They had come prepared so Chris could stay as long as possible with his parents before going home with his uncle.

"So that was a scary way of getting some time off." Buck muttered as he folded his arms over his chest and propped his feet up on the bed. He nudged his foot against his sister's thigh, grinning when she slapped his ankle playfully.

"Yeah, yeah. How long am I off for?" She looked between the boys, grinning to herself when Eddie murmured 'at least two weeks.' In all fairness it had been a while since (Y/n) last had some time off, although she wouldn't be able to take Chris out somewhere fun or do half the things she would want to for the next two weeks.

Her lips curved into a smile when she felt Chris shuffle round and wriggle to get comfy. He propped himself up against the rail at the end of the bed with his legs cuddled up into (Y/n)'s so he could begin to do some drawing.

She let her eyes fall closed and snuggled down, pulling Eddie's hand towards her chest.

"You good, mi amor?"

"Cold," She murmured, already halfway back to sleep but her lips curved up when she felt Eddie's hand against her temple.

"Cold? You're still flushed." Eddie bit the corner of his mouth and swiped his thumb against (Y/n)'s cheek. She was still warm from the fever she had been burning when she arrived at the emergency room. Maybe it was just her body trying to settle and get back to a normal temperature.

Whatever the reason, Eddie pulled the covers a bit higher for her and glided his hand up and down her arm before he leaned back in his chair. His eyes rolled playfully and he grinned when he saw that Buck was already turning on the tv, flicking through the channels.

He didn't want to take Chris home yet, not when they hadn't spent a lot of time with (Y/n). They may as well stay until the end of visiting time, that way when (Y/n) woke up Chris would get to talk to her for a bit and Buck would reassure himself his little sister was alright before he and Chris went home for the night.

(Y/n) didn't doze off for long, about twenty minutes or so before she woke up to Chris sitting a bit closer than before and grinning sweetly at her. And Eddie and Buck were both watching a sitcom on the tv.

She wasn't sure what conversation they were talking about but she groggily looked towards her brother when he gave her elbow a light squeeze.

"Brought you some clothes," Buck murmured and pointed to the bag at his feet before he carried on the conversation he was having with Eddie. He knew his sister, she wouldn't want to stay in that hospital gown for long. Buck knew once (Y/n) woke up properly, the first thing she would do was go get changed into some of her own, more comfortable clothes.

(Y/n) nodded but she coiled her arms up to her chest beneath the covers. Why was the room so cold? She was freezing. Had they turned the heating off in here? She felt like she was in the arctic.

She closed her eyes again for a few moments, but her knees jerked up towards her stomach when her head started to spin and she suddenly felt like she was falling. Going to sleep had made her feel worse, she felt strangely dizzy and like her limbs were going numb.

She stayed tucked up and tried to coil in on herself, but she soon realised she was shaking. With a grumble, (Y/n) opened her eyes and forced her blurred vision to focus on Eddie as she slithered a hand out from beneath the cover to reach for Eddie. Her fingers curled around his thigh and she dug her nails into his trousers to try and grab his attention.

"You okay, baby?" She felt his hand fold on top of her own but when Eddie looked over at her, his smile faded and his brows furrowed.

"Eddie, I- I don't feel well." She managed to slide her fingers into the grooves of Eddie's hand and when she looked up at him, she could see the concern pooling in his eyes.

He pushed up from his chair and moved to perch on the side of the bed, letting their entwined hands rest on his thighs while his other hand cupped the side of her face. His fingers glided over her neck but his frown deepened. He could feel sweat rolling down the side of her neck and covering her temple, but she was shaking and curling up as if she were freezing cold.

Reaching up behind the bed, he grabbed the thermometer and gently placed it in (Y/n)'s ear.

"Chris, off the bed a minute please buddy." He ticked his head at Chris until he hopped off the bed and moved to sit with Buck instead. "You're burning up baby, let me check your stitches."

Eddie pulled down the cover and moved (Y/n)'s gown to one side so he could try and check her stitches, but he couldn't see her getting an infection this quickly. She had been out of surgery for two hours, if that. She couldn't get an infection in her wound that quickly and he had been there when she went for her operation. It went well with no complications, she shouldn't be having any trouble.

"Any pain?" He pressed his fingertips around the stitches and down her abdomen near her bladder and intestines, but (Y/n) didn't flinch like she had earlier. She was on morphine so she couldn't be in much pain and she didn't seem to be bothered by the stitches.

"Freezing, a-and dizzy… baby, help. I don't feel right." (Y/n) wasn't sure what was wrong and she wasn't in any specific pain, but she felt horrid. She felt like all her wires were crossed within her. Her blood was pulsing and throbbing in her ears. Her head was pounding and spinning even though she wasn't even moving. Her limbs were going numb and she was so, so cold.

A deep frown set in Eddie's features while his teeth sank down in his lower lip. He hummed and kissed her cheek to try and calm her down before he grabbed a stethoscope and listened to her chest.

"What's wrong?" Buck kept his right arm tight around Chris's waist, keeping his nephew tucked close while he leaned over towards his sister.

"Amor, I think you're going into shock." Eddie couldn't understand it. She had been fine. The operation had been a success. But she looked like she was going into a state of shock and he couldn't understand why. This couldn't be a delayed reaction because (Y/n) had had morphine before and she wasn't due another drip for another hour or so.

He had never known anyone to have a reaction to their stitches either and he had checked them, her skin wasn't bubbling up or swelling or getting a rash. (Y/n) didn't seem to have a cause for this and all Eddie could think of was she had some sort of infection and if that was the case, he needed bloods from her and some antibiotics.

Eddie let (Y/n) squeeze their entwined hands while she tried to curl around his thighs and get closer to him. He started to rub his left hand up and down her arm, but when he happened to glance to the right, his head tilted at an angle and he narrowed his eyes.

"Baby…" He let go of her hand, cringing at the whine (Y/n) let out as she tried to grab for him again.

His fingers grazed along the transfusion tube until he was lightly holding the plastic bag and he pulled it closer to observe the writing along the blood bag.

All the colour drained from Eddie's face until he was as white as the overcoat he wore when he was on shift. Both lips parted but he couldn't find the will to breathe, his lungs were seizing up in his chest and his heart was spasming and sending out the wrong signals.

His fingers clenched around the blood bag so tightly his nails almost pierced through the plastic and he squinted to make sure he was reading it correctly.

"Fuck! Fuck, oh Dios."

Buck leaned back in his chair as Chris shuddered and pushed into his chest at his dad's sudden outburst. He wasn't usually one for swearing. Chris had heard his Abuela swear more than his dad. Seeing Eddie look so suddenly panicked and his loud, curt voice made Chris shrink back into Buck for comfort.

When Eddie leaned across and flicked the emergency button next to the plug sockets above the bed, panic coursed through Buck's system.

He stood up and carefully eased Chris down onto the chair in his place before he stepped closer to try and see what Eddie was panicking so much about. His eyes followed his brother in law as he started tearing the bandage around the crease of (Y/n)'s left elbow. The bandage trickled to the floor and Eddie quickly capped off the intravenous needle and removed the tube from her arm.

"What's happening?" Buck reached down to squeeze (Y/n)'s arm while she tried to bring her knees up towards her stomach, but both her hands were reaching out for Eddie.

She clutched at his forearm, desperately pulling Eddie closer because she didn't know what was going on and she didn't understand why she was suddenly feeling so unwell and strange. Tears began to stream down her face causing her lower lip to wobble while shakes continued to tear through her body in waves.

"She's having a hemolytic reaction. Shit, I need O negative-"

"English Eddie!"

"Some fucker's put her on A positive blood transfusion, her blood type is O negative, she's having a reaction. Her immune system's fighting the transfusion."

Eddie tangled his free hand in his hair, pulling at the locks until he could feel strands getting stuck between his fingers and ripping apart from his scalp. His other hand was pressing into (Y/n)'s chest since she had confiscated his arm and he didn't have the will power to pull apart from her just yet.

This couldn't be happening.

How could someone have made such a stupid mistake- and with (Y/n) of all people?

Someone had started her on the wrong blood type. The body was a clever, sensitive thing and it could recognise foreign cells immediately. (Y/n)'s body was fighting itself, trying to attack the foreign blood cells and it was sending her into shock.

Eddie needed to reverse the effects and get (Y/n)'s body syncronised again before her organs started shutting down or she developed sepsis.

His head snapped down when he felt (Y/n) weakly pulling on his arm and he stopped tearing his hair out so he could glide his hand across her cheek and down her jaw.

"W-what's wrong?" (Y/n)'s voice trembled almost as bad as her body that was shaking back and forth on the bed. She brought her knees up to her stomach, unable to muffle her groan but she managed to keep her eyes on her husband. She couldn't concentrate properly. She didn't understand what was happening. What was wrong with her?

The feeling of Eddie's thumb gliding along her jaw made (Y/n)'s heart slow down its accelerated rhythm for a few seconds. "You're going into shock, mi amor, but I'm gonna take care of you. It's okay."

Buck reached his hand behind him and held onto Chris's arm when the eleven year old got off the chair to stand right by his side. He didn't want to look around his uncle and see the state his mum was getting into, but he couldn't help but sneak a glance. The sight of his mum shaking, gasping and crying like that sent his blood curdling and made him cling to Buck tighter.

The three of them snapped their heads to the side when the door opened and a young nurse walked in, darting her eyes around the room. Eddie could see the recognition in her eyes, she knew he worked here, but his plain attire was confusing her.

"What's going on?"

"Go get me a saline bag and some ACE inhibitors and I need two pints of O negative blood. You hear me, negative. Now."

The nurse dithered in the doorway, tempted to rush further into the room and assess (Y/n) herself. But she could see Eddie had already done that job for her and if she wasted any time trying to do a double check, she feared Eddie might just explode.

The young girl spun on her heels and disappeared out the room, letting the door slam closed behind her.

"Eddie, I don't understand, how the Hell is she on the wrong transfusion? Doesn't everything have to be screened and she needs to be tested before she's given anything?"

Buck had never needed a transfusion himself, but he donated blood every month along with the rest of the team. He knew it was closely screened, checked for any anomalies or illnesses or viruses and always labelled correctly with the right blood type.

And he understood that it had to be quite hard to give someone the wrong transfusion when it was either already in their files or they would have a blood sample taken and checked so they knew what type to give.

"I don't know, she was hooked up before they let me see her." The words seethed past Eddie's lips as he slumped down onto the side of the bed to be closer to (Y/n).

He had waited a little impatiently for them to transfer (Y/n) into a room on a recovery ward and he shot into the room the moment they allowed him in. (Y/n) had just finished a saline drip and she had been hooked onto the blood just before Eddie got into the room. He didn't know which doctor or nurse did it or if he knew them or not.

But he was going to find out and make sure they suffered the consequences of their actions.

"So what do you do, to treat this?"

Eddie raked his free hand down his face, pulling at his chin and jaw that cracked into place. He hadn't dealt with this before, he had never seen this happen because it was such an oddity. This was something that happened one hundred years ago before they had proper screening for blood transfusions. Before they had computer systems and proper filing and records that easily counted the blood types of patients.

This was something that wasn't seen nowadays, not in good hospitals with a good practice.

"She needs fluids to fight off the shock and the inhibitors will stop her kidneys from shutting down. And I'll have to get her on broad antibiotics to calm her immune system down. I can't have her getting sepsis from this."

Eddie didn't know how far the wrong blood had travelled in (Y/n)'s system. If it was already at her kidneys they would be at risk of shutting down if her immune system attacked them. Her liver could be next. He had to give her meds to preserve her organs from shutting down and antibiotics to stop her raging immune system.

If she developed sepsis, which was the body's way of overreacting to an infection and attacking healthy cells, (Y/n) would really be at risk of fatal damage.

"Can you take Chris home-"

"No! I wanna stay with mum!"

"Then you need to wait outside while I look after her." Eddie's voice was firm and snappy but Chris and Buck obliged instantly.

Buck's hands moved to Chris's shoulders and he regrettably ushered his nephew outside. It wouldn't be fair to leave Chris out in the corridor on his own and it didn't matter how much Buck wanted to stay and watch over his sister, he needed to be with Chris more. He knew (Y/n) was being looked after by Eddie rather than the seemingly negligent staff working here.

"I brought the medicine trolley," The nurse rushed back into the room with her eyes focused on the trolley rather than the doctor that was making her nervous.

She stepped back, letting Eddie take over and rummage around for what he needed. He got the inhibitors and injected them straight into the saline bag before he reached for a fresh packaged needle.

He crouched down in front of the trolley, using the ID badge he still had clipped to his belt to unlock the trolley and look through for the broad range antibiotics he needed. He tore into the packaged needle with his teeth, got the needle ready and injected those into the fluids too. It would be dangerous to give (Y/n) a large dose all at once, and the fluids would be running wide open into her vein so this was the safest method of administration.

"Okay mi amor, let's get you on these." He perched himself down on the side of the bed and hooked the fluid bag on the IV pole, turning up the setting so it was on its quickest speed. He wanted the fluids in (Y/n)'s system as fast as possible to counteract the shock and blood reactions.

His nimble fingers were gentle when he reached out for (Y/n)'s hand and laid it over his thigh. He twisted the cap already taped into her hand and connected the fluids. Once the machine beeped, he twisted to look over his shoulder.

"Did you get the O negative?"

"I got two." It felt better to be safe than sorry and she knew (Y/n)'s notes since she was the newest patient on this ward. She knew (Y/n) was recovering from surgery and if she needed more blood, two pints might be necessary.

"Thank you."

Eddie kept the A positive blood hanging at the back of the pole, he was keeping that there for evidence. And he hung up one of the new bags, filled with the correct match that was riling him up to just look at it. How could someone have messed up this badly?

(Y/n) scraped her nails into Eddie's thighs when he got up, mewling his name quietly as she feared he was about to leave the room. Her vision blurred but she did her best to lift her head and follow him with her eyes.

He grabbed a needle from the trolley and an empty vile and once he swiped the pen from his back pocket, he set about writing (Y/n)'s name and date of birth onto the plain label.

A shudder crawled over (Y/n) when she realised what Eddie was going to do and she snapped her eyes closed but obliged and held her arm out to him. She was surprised to find she barely felt the needle slipping into her elbow for Eddie to take a blood sample. Once it was done, he kissed the crease of her arm and handed the vile over to the nurse.

"That needs to be rushed down to the lab, I want it in writing that she's suffered a hemolytic reaction."

The poor nurse seemed to shake and drain of all colour on the spot when she realised what was going on. She could see that Eddie was on the war path and he was going to be chopping heads for this mistake. Eddie could switch the blood bag and counter the reaction, but before he did that he had to get (Y/n)'s sample sent to the labs. He needed it in black and white that someone had given her the wrong blood type. And he was keeping the old blood bag as evidence too.

"Go get whoever's in charge of this ward please on your way to the lab. I want to know who's the cause of this malpractice."

Once the nurse was out the room, Eddie twisted to look down at (Y/n) after he connected the new blood tube to the intravenous needle in her left elbow. This would do her some good. Her immune system would calm down once it realised it was now getting a supply of the correct blood type.

"You'll be okay now, mi amor. I'm gonna oversee your treatment."

When (Y/n) scratched her hands against Eddie's shoulders, his lips formed a soft smile and he obliged. He leaned down, curving his arms around her waist so he could carefully ease her into a sitting position. Her face tucked into his neck and her hands shook and slithered across his back while she pushed herself into his chest.

They sat there like that for a while and a few times, Eddie wasn't sure whether (Y/n) had fallen asleep or not. But he felt her fingers digging into his back or her lips moving against his neck and he knew she was awake.

"You're not shaking as much," He commented after a while, feeling (Y/n) cling to him with a bit more strength and power.

His lips smothered the side of her temple and he sighed against her skin, thankful he had caught this quick enough to do something about it. God knows what would have happened if he and Buck hadn't of been in the room. What if Eddie had taken Chris home and Buck had gone home too for a rest? What would they have done? How long would (Y/n) have waited, quickly going into shock, waiting for the next staff member to do their irregular checks?

"Okay, why have I been summoned in here? What's going on?" Nurse Avery stood a few feet inside the room, both hands clamped down on her hips with her head tilted at an angle.

She raised a brow when she looked over at Eddie. She had seen on the computer system that there was a patient named Diaz on this ward so it wasn't surprising to see their prominent Doctor Diaz in here too. It was a rare surname so chances were this was a relative of Eddie's.

But she still had no reason why she had been told to come down here for some kind of emergency when the emergency light above the door wasn't turned on. Or at least, it hadn't been on for a while.

Eddie leaned his head down to kiss (Y/n)'s cheek before he slowly unravelled from her, making sure she was okay sinking back into the pillows when he got up from the bed.

He folded his arms over his chest, trying to stop his expression from looking so gaunt and angry but he couldn't seem to help it. He stepped to the side, moving to the other side of the room so he didn't have to raise his voice so close to (Y/n). He didn't want to upset her any further but he needed to talk to Avery and he knew she wasn't going to like what he had to say.

"Someone didn't read my wife's chart so I need you to look through your roster and find out who set up her blood transfusion."

"What are you talking about? What's happened?"

"Look at the chart. (Y/n) is O negative, but when I came in I found her on a transfusion for A positive. I've had to stop it, take bloods, get her on fluids and inhibitors and antibiotics because she was going into fucking shock. I wanna know who set up the bloods."

The darker side of Eddie revelled in the way Avery couldn't keep eye contact with him and how she ran her hand across her cheek and down the side of her neck out of nervousness.

She should be nervous. She should be panicking. She was the shift lead, the head nurse on this ward and someone under her watch had made a near fatal mistake that had been caught by one of their off-duty doctors. Eddie himself had to rectify this mistake. Avery couldn't dumb this down or try and cover it up and pretend only a minor incident had occurred here.

Eddie had witnessed it himself, and he wasn't going to be calmed down so easily.

"Diaz, calm down. We're all professionals here-"

"Really? You really think someone on your team is a professional when they've just dosed my wife on the wrong type of blood and given her a hemolytic reaction? Do you know how rare that is nowadays? Do you see how fucking stupid you'd have to be to do that?"

Out the corner of his eye, Eddie could see (Y/n) wincing and shrinking back in the bed. She didn't want to be the cause of an argument or cause any rifts in Eddie's workplace. Chances are that he might know whoever had made this mistake and that meant waves would ripple across the staff board.

"And you work here! You know what it's like, we've had five different patients in and out of here all morning and I'm three nurses short. The board will investigate-"

"Damn right they will because someone under your watch put a patient into shock and could have killed her. Whoever it is doesn't have a job here anymore if they can make such a simple fucking mistake."

Eddie believed that nobody was perfect. He completely understood that mistakes happen and as humans, they were bound to make mistakes. And he knew the training and the years it took to become a nurse, let alone a doctor like he was. But he also knew that the years of training they were all put through was supposed to stop them from making mistakes like this.

Sometimes a big mistake was understandable, the pressure, the confusion, the hard surgeries and long hours and underpaid budgets.

But to make such a simple mistake was unforgiveable because if someone could make such a small mistake as not reading someone's notes and hooking them up to any blood bag they found, then what was to say they wouldn't make bigger mistakes?

Such a simple mistake could have killed (Y/n). Her body understood that it had the wrong blood, it was attacking those foreign cells and in turn started to attack the rest of her immune system. If it went unnoticed or they didn't stop the transfusion in time, (Y/n)'s organs could have started to shut down. She could have gone into a worser state of shock.

She could have developed sepsis and her state was already weakened by surgery. If the sepsis attacked the tissues around her stitches or got to her heart they might not have been able to reverse the damage.

"I'll go check the roster and talk to my staff. I suppose you've already taken blood samples and switched the bloods?"

"Damn right."

With a curt nod and her teeth sinking into her lower lip, Avery stuffed her hand into her pocket and stormed out of the room. She was going to get into trouble for this. Her team was going to suffer. Whoever was at fault was going to get sacked. Eddie was likely to make a complaint because he was the one who had noticed and taken charge of the situation and had to sort it himself.

There were going to be repercussions for this.

Eddie ran his hand across the back of his neck and trailed back over to the bed, moving his hand to squeeze (Y/n)'s thigh as he sat down beside her. A wave of calm washed over him as soon as (Y/n) slumped forward and leaned into his chest. Her cheek pressed against his shoulder, her arms wrapped around his torso and her big doe eyes stared up at him with a sense of wonder he hadn't seen before.

"Are you sure your a doctor? You sounded more like a lawyer to me."

[eroscomet]

Make it Right

Chapter two- Hauting for Home

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Paring: Astrid Deetz x Fem!Ghost!Reader

Warnings: Mentions death, a bit angsty, bad writing. (Let me know if I missed anything!)

Word count: 3k+

A/N: Hello, lovelies! I'm so sorry that this chapter took a while to make. I was busy on the weekend; however, I found time to finally finish the chapter for you all! I really do hope you guys enjoy this one! I will try to get a specific schedule for updates on certain stories. If you guys are wondering about updates for 'Picking Up Pieces That Aren't Yours,' I will try to update that as soon as possible. I will also be doing a couple drabbles on different characters and or drabbles of characters I've already written for. I would also like to thank you guys so much for all the support you all have been showing me! I am so thankful and grateful for each and every one of you! Thank you so much for every like, reblog, and comment, it means a lot to me!

Not proof read

╰┈➤Series Masterlist

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"You talked to my dad?!" Astrid had exclaimed with an amused smile on her face. There it was, that twinkle in her eye that you had missed so much. She hadn't been very happy recently, with you not around and everything else in her life that had been happening.

"Yeah, when I had first died. I got sent to the immigration office, and what do you know? There he was behind the glass. He's just as kind as you always told me he'd be. Surprisingly, he immediately recognized me. He told me that he had been watching after you and practically watched our love 'blossom,' as he put it." The two of you continued walking outside.

You couldn't help but think about how people must be seeing this. Astrid looked as if she were talking to herself from an outside perspective. Aware of her past, you knew people had a tendency to bully her, so when nearing Miss Shannon's School for Girls, you tried to get her to talk as much so that others wouldn't look at her funny. So, you took up most of the time on the way there, talking as much as she could so that she didn't have time to talk. Which was odd because she was usually the one who'd talk while you'd listen.

"He said he liked me, which is a relief. Sometimes, I feel like your mom is more confused but is trying to be supportive. I mean, remember when I had first come over, and she started talking about how she too 'experimented' as she said. Anyway, that isn't the point. I met your dad, and we actually frequently visited you together. It's funny, sometimes we'd bond over how much we missed you."

Astrid's eyes had furrowed as she had begun to notice that every time she began or wanted to speak, you only spoke faster, almost sputtering out information. A frown tugged at your lips as she had caught on.

"I just don't want people to look at you even more weirder than they already do. If you're talking to yourself, they'll find that an easy target. Try...putting on some headphones and pretending you're on the phone? Or you can just put your phone up to your ear?"

She smiled as she took her phone out of her pocket and brought it up to her ear.

"Thanks, you're right. So, what else did he say about me? Did you see my grandfather? What's the afterlife like?" Astrid felt like she had a million different questions to ask.

"Your dad says he's proud of you and that he sees himself in you all the time. As for your grandpa, no. I mean, I feel as if it's harder to find him since he did lose his head to a shark. The afterlife is a bit weird. I can't tell you much about it since I haven't exactly crossed over. I basically only know what headquarters and a few shops look like. I mean, there's a 'Soul Train' which essentially takes you to the 'Great Beyond,' but I never went because I don't want to risk not being able to watch over you."

You grabbed Astid's shoulders, moving beside her to walk toward the street end of the sidewalk. Even though you were dead, the sidewalk rule never really left you, even while Astrid couldn't even see you.

"Yeah, I figured. I almost can't believe that a shark bite ended his life, I knew my family wasn't normal, but we can't even have a somewhat normal death? The Great Beyond, huh? Soul Train is a clever name though. Does no one know what's on the side?"

"I mean, I've never seen someone leave then come back from the train in the full year, almost two years that I've been here. I'm not taking the risk and crossing anyway, I can't lose you again after we just got back to each other."

"You're right..." Her eyebrows furrowed, her attention on the sidewalk as they continued to walk. She thought to herself for a moment before speaking again.

"So, you don't have any ghost tricks you learned?"

"Of course, you'd ask that, would you be disappointed in me if I said I didn't?"

"I mean, you've been gone for a year almost two, I'd expect you to know at least something to make me feel better for all the time you've been gone."

"Okay, uhhh... I can walk through walls and, I guess, float a bit."

"That sounds like every other ghost."

"Just because i'm a ghost doesn't mean I have super powers, Astrid."

"Just saying."

"I mean, I do have this nasty scar from the accident." You lowered your shirt neckline, showing the scar on the lower part of your neck. Astrid winced at the scar before looking away.

"Right. Weird how all it took was one neck twist for you to die.

"Well, it's more like my neck twisted as if I was a cartoon character that got punched, and my head began spinning-"

"Ew, shut up. Don't talk about it like it's something light."

"I'm sorry, you're right."

It was silent for a bit as you guys walked into the school, Astrid opened one of the doors while you phased right through the other door. Astird put her phone back into her pocket as she walked upstairs and past the other students. You followed after her, your eyebrows furrowing at the other students nearby her dorm. Some of them whispering to each other while giggling.

That's when Astrid opened her dorm room's door, a bedsheet attached to the ceiling by a rope coming straight towards her. The bedsheet makes out a ghost with a 'Boo' sign in its chest area. Astrid stumbled back before turning around and looking at the other girls, who began to burst out into laughter behind her.

"When you're all driving carpool and banging your pilates instructor to fill the empty voids in your life, we'll see who gets the last laugh."

The girls smiles and laughs quickly died as she finished speaking. Astrid turned around as she went into her room, shutting the door behind her. You smiled proudly, a laugh escaping you as you saw the looks on the girls faces as they disburst from Astrid's door.

"Witty as always." You said as you phased through her dorm room's door. The make-shift ghost on the ceiling startling you a bit as you had almost 'ran' into it. Sometimes you forget you're a ghost even if it's been a year.

"They have not toned down with the comments? You had always been careful about this topic, not wanting to bring it up too much with Astrid.

"No." It was a simple and straightforward answer that made you not want to question further. A part of you felt angry that you were helpless to all of it now that you're dead. You had gotten so used to defending her against everyone but now your words would only fall on deaf ears.

You sighed as you plopped yourself onto her dorm room's bed, thinkiing for a moment on how to steer away the conversation of bullying that she obviously did not want to talk about.

"Did you hear that my sister's pregnant? I know that I shouldn't bother looking over them since they're perfectly fine.."

"I'm not surprised."

"She's naming the baby after me."

"God, that's ridiculous! Naming their kid after a relative who isn't even dead yet-" Astrid's voice faltered for a moment. The fact that you were dead and have been for almost two years was still a punch in the gut after all this time.

"That's what I said, baby." You offered her a small smile as you played into the bit that you were still alive for Astrid. She still wanted to make her at least feel a bit better.

'Baby.'

Your words - and your smile, even if it was for her benefit - just made Astrid's heart twist further in her chest.

"You're killing me here."

"Why?" Your head tilted to the side as you looked at her.

"Because you're supposed to be dead." Her voice came out in a strangled whisper as she looked down at the papers scattered on her desk.

You bit your lip, you didn't want to show that what Astrid had said hurt you. Even if you were dead, you still had emotions and feelings. You paused for a moment before deciding to drop the topic.

"So, they're having a baby shower. You should go."

"Oh god, a baby shower? Is it too late to make you disappear again?" Her face had immediately scrunched up with distaste at the idea of being forced to go to a baby shower - especially your self-centered sister's baby shower where she'd name her child after you for her own gain.

"Come on, you couldn't see me for a whole year, and now that you're finally able to, you already want to get rid of me? That's cold, babe, even for you. Even for me who's dead cold. Get it? Huh? Dead cold. Because i'm dead? And i'm cold now because I have no blood. No? Okay."

"Oof, that was horrible." She said as she shook her head and grumbled in response.

"Come on, admit you missed me. I heard all your late-night talks that you thought weren't reaching my ears."

"I did miss you - I've missed you for a whole year." She confessed, sounding a bit surprised by her own confession. The room fell silent, the weight of everything that had happened falling onto the both of them. Neither of them wanted to address it, though, they didn't want to have to deal with it now.

"Did you ever-" She paused for a moment as she thought of the right words to say, "When I'd lay in your bed and mope, were you just...watching me?"

"No, I hated that. I'd still do what I would've done if I were alive. I tried holding you and whispering sweet nothings into your ear that never got to you."

"Sweet nothings, huh?" She teased, which earned an eye roll from you. Again, the room had fell silent as the two were lost in thought before Astrid spoke again, breaking the silence.

"How bad did it hurt?"

"Uh.. Well... I just remember being on the ground one second, then in the air the next. I landed, and well- You know what. It had hurt for that second that I was alive, but it had been an instant death if anything."

Having to talk about your death wasn't an easy topic. It was a reminder of how quick you had lost it all. The blood in your system, the beat of your heart, Astrid. The sight of you nervously fidgeting with your own fingers made Astrid's heart ache.

"I hate that." She muttered, her voice coming in strained, almost as if she was forcing herself to get the words out.

"I'm sorry." Your words were mumbled as she continued to fidget with your fingers, now more anxiously than before. The apology caused Astrid to shut her eyes, trying to hold herself together. She felt that now was not the time to start breaking down.

"Don't. Don't apologize." She had almost snapped at you as she opened her eyes to shoot a glare at you.

"Okay." You were never one to go against her word, you didn't want to start a fight. Especially not now. All you could do was bring up one of your hands, beginning to gently pull on the hairs on the back of your neck as you avoided Astrid's eyes.

"Is that a nervous habit of yours now? Pulling your hair." She asked as she reached her hand out idly to brush your hair out of your eyes.

"I had gotten it when I first reached the afterlife. When you watch the people you love hurting, and all you can do is ghost around them..." Your voice had faltered, forcing yourself to clear your throat and then begin to speak again.

"You feel so helpless. Watching everyone who used to be around you and love you so miserable about your death. It makes you feel guilty but, most of all, useless. There's no way to hold, touch, talk to, comfort them... It's hard."

The room had fallen silent after your words. Astrid's fingertips gently brushed along the back of your head - tracing the place that you usually pulled at. She let her hand rest there, trying to keep you from pulling at your hair again.

"How cold am I?"

Your words made Astrid pause for a moment. Leaning closer to you as she wrapped an arm around her now ghost girlfriend. The chill of your skin made her shiver involuntarily - but Astrid tried not to show the way her body automatically wanted to shy away from the cold.

"Really damn cold. It's like you're an ice cube almost." Her words a mumble as she got closer to you, laying next to you as she rested her head on top of yours.

"I'm sorry that I'm not warm anymore." Your own words come out as a mumble as well, instinctively, your head rests on her shoulder.

"I know you don't much like when it's really cold. I thought I was keeping myself with this sweater but now that someone's actually able to touch me, I realize it's doing nothing for me."

"Gosh, you don't have to apologize for that. At least you're here." She pulled you closer against her, her arms wrapping around your waist - burtying her face into your shoulder, even if your skin was freezing and caused a slight burn against her own warm skin. She ignored the way that her body had involutarily shivered at the contact - focusing instead on the fact that her girlfriend was here.

"Barely." You mumbled quietly as you gently pulled away from your girlfriend, knowing that you were probably burning Astrid's skin with your own cold, dead skin that was now a pale blue hue.

"Don't be like that. You're talking as if you have no more hope."

"Death has a way of doing that."

Astrid let out a quiet huff at your words. Her eyes flickered back and forth from you and her own hands that were now gripped tightly on her bedding - but in the next moment, she let go. Almost as if with a full burst of speed, she darted to you. Her arms wrapping around your body, hauling you into her bed in a tight, crushing embrace.

"Astrid-" You had said in surprise and protest. You knew that you were cold. Dead. The cold would burn Astrid at one point, and you didn't want that. Not when you used to be alive and warm for her. You used to keep her warm and now you can only burn her with your icy dead skin.

"Don't even think about complaining. I don't care if you're cold." Astrid snapped as she held you impossibly close against her. Her body shivered once again as your cold skin was like a bucket of cold water dumped over her body - but she ignored the cold, focusing on the sensation of her girlfriend in her arms.

A frown had tugged at your lips, knowing that eventually, Astrid would get too cold, but after a year of being a lone ghost who watched your loved ones move on or suffer because of you, you couldn't help but be a little selfish. Your arms wrapped around her as tightly as you could.

You missed your girlfriend so much. Watching over her for a year, her suffering for a full year over your death, had done a number on you. You'd cry if you could, but all you felt was this deep internal sadness. You had no heartbeat, you had no blood to warm your body, you had no tears to shed from your dry eyes. Your chest was the most still it had ever been, you had no air to breathe anymore.

It had begun to feel like too much for the both of them. Being this close to each other after a year of thinking they'd never be able to have contact again, feeling each other's skin despite the feeling of a small burning on her own skin from your own. It was almost enough to make Astrid cry.

The cold was beginning to seep into her skin - making her shiver and leaving her skin prickled. But Astrid wouldn't - couldn't - let go of you. Not when it had been a year since she was able to hold you. You had only frowned as you held her tighter. A small hiss escaped Astrid from the cold contact as she tried to get herself impossibly closer to you.

"Damn it, it's getting too cold." She hissed, speaking between clenched teeth as she tried to bury her face into your shoulder further.

"Warm up with the blankets, I'll just lay beside you. I promise I won't disappear." You pulled away, gently moving Astrid off of yourself as you carefully pulled her bedsheets over her body. When you finished tucking her in, you lay beside her, admiring every detail you could land your eyes on.

She only huffed a bit, feeling oddly petulant about the fact that she had to let go of you However, she did as she was told. A small shiver rattled her body as her eyes locked onto yours. She managed to mumble something incohereently as she reached for you, trying to tug you close again.

"Too cold, baby. Just give it a moment. I'm here, you see me." You tried to reassure her as you gently tugged a strand of hair behind her ear.

'Baby.' The soft nickname only made her want to pull you close again, but she knew that you were right. Her boy was cold - skin still pricked and burned from being in contact with her girlfriend. She snuggled further into the bedding, her hand gently reaching out to yours. Linking her own pinky with yours, causing you to smile. Her eyes looked into yours as if asking if it was okay to which you had nodded.

┗━━━✦❘༻♡༺❘✦━━━┛

A/N: I don't know why this felt like such a short chapter to me despite it being the most words I've written so far?? I might have some filler chapters for this and 'Picking Up Pieces That Aren't Yours' sometimes. Then again, there is still a lot to write for the storyline themselves. Thank you, lovelies, for all the support on my posts! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I'm so sorry if some days I do not have time to update. Also, if there's anyone that wants to be tagged for updates on this story, leave a comment saying so! Bye, loves!

[writingsfrombeyondthegrave]

Helloooo there!

Just wanted to say that I absolutely loved the Astrid x ghost!reader fic and was wondering if you were considering doing a part two?? maybe Astrid finds a way to save them and they end up dating or something?

I hope you Have a lovely day! Xx

An Accidental Haunting Part 2

Astrid Deetz x Ghost!Reader

*Platonic to Romantic*

Requested by anon

Summary- Now that Astrid could see you clearly, an unlikely friendship formed. She wanted nothing more than to be with you now that you two had gotten the chance to spend more time together. She would find a way for you two to be a couple. A proper living couple.

Warnings- Reader was m*rdered, Details about death and the afterlife, angst, depression, mention of cancer, trading one life for another, kissing

The afterlife is a complex thing than many humans never truly understand. Ghosts, often thought of as a figment of the imagination or a misguided illusion of the light, were more real than Astrid had ever anticipated.

Admitting her mother wasn't crazy was a big step in her life. Not to mention the fact that she was gaining feelings for a ghost, this time while knowing about the fact you were deceased. Your morbid humor, self-deprecating jokes and obscene amount of knowledge on the paranormal had a death grip on her heart.

Death was much more interesting with Astrid in your life. You didn't feel the dread or crushing depression as much as before. Sometimes you dare say, you felt more alive than you had when you were actually living.

Lydia had decided to move back into the old "Ghost House" after Astrid had begged her, claiming that she would even consider going to Miss Shannon's School for Girls until graduation. It was only one year away, but she had been adamant about it.

In the end, it happened to be a convenient idea. Lydia's Tv show career had ended and she opted to be an in-area Psychic for those in need. Somehow, however with your meticulous hiding, she never once saw you in the house. You have been very deliberate about keeping your identity there a secret between only you and Astrid.

"I hate to say it, but that uniform is lame" You spoke as you laid back on her bed with a teasing smirk, head tilted in her direction as she tried on the uniform, smoothing down the skirt.

She turned to you and raised an eyebrow, challenging you. "At least I don't have an old rock shirt than looks like you scraped it off of an 80s arcade floor."

"Ha. Ha." you laughed emotionlessly, tossing a stuffed bear at her to defend your honor. "Arcades are fun, but nice try at trying to offend me beautiful"

The smirk that remained on your lips made her heart skip a beat, but she would rather die than tell you how much power you held over her. Your nonchalant flirting always hurt, knowing it never held much meaning behind your words, but she continued to ignore it in favor of her sanity.

"Tell me again" Astrid said as she sat beside you on the bed, making the mattress bounce lightly. "What's it like to die?"

The quietness between you both stretched for a moment before you answered. "It's different for everyone. For some its peaceful, for some its painful."

"I meant for you personally, what was it like?"

Your amused laugh echoed through her room. "What was it like to be stabbed brutally to death? Just a normal Tuesday, of course"

No matter how many times you talked to her about the afterlife, you were always careful to leave out the specifics of your own death. The last thing you ever wanted from anyone was sympathy, especially from her. Sadness should never be an emotion she felt when you were around. So, you opted to made jokes and avoided those awkward looming moments of despair and helplessness.

Instead of laughing, she seemed to be deep in thought. "What if there was a way to bring you back?" She spoke so soft that you almost missed it, but of course you didn't. Instantly you sat up on her bed and faced her properly, startling her a bit at your sudden movement.

"Are you crazy? You of all people should know that's a terrible idea, Astrid. It's a life for a life, a crazy scheme that only the self-centered scumbags would pull"

"I know... I know. But you didn't deserve to die"

You scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief. "You don't know that. you don't know me! I'm a freak, Astrid! Thats why I'm dead, no one wanted to talk to me. Everyone feared me because the only people who understood me were already dead!" The screams you sent her way felt like daggers piercing her skin. There hadn't been a single moment up until now that you had acted any other way besides happy.

Without warning you vanished from sight, completely dematerializing Infront of her eyes. She stared in shock at the wall Infront of her, not knowing how to react.

All of a sudden it hit her, you needed her help to come back alive and she would do anything in her power to help you, even if that meant seeking out her mother for guidance.

The instant regret you felt after yelling at Astrid was eating at you from the inside out. Your knees were pulled up to your chest while you sat in a rickety old rocking chair. You looked over at the town model in the attic to distract yourself from falling even further into the darkness.

What you never mentioned to any of the spirits you helped, was that the longer the dead lingered on the living plain, the quicker your soul decays. The deceased were to move on after dying, in favor of protecting what mortality they died with. Your soul fades and your own morals that you once valued in life start to get corrupted.

"The Darkness" as you referred to it was the depressive black hole that swallows the last remaining happiness and hope that you hold onto. If you let yourself get sucked into that darkness, you may never find your way out of it again.

That is how some spirits get sucked into a loop, replaying their death and their most horrible moments over and over again until there is nothing left of their soul.

Smiling seemed to be your coping mechanism to avoid this, always happy and never upset over trivial things. Never allowing yourself the simple happiness that the living still enjoyed and took for granted.

Lydia was cooking in the kitchen when she heard rapid footsteps descending down the staircase. Astrid stopped and stood in the doorway, looking at her mother blankly for a moment. She couldn't believe how much progress that they've accomplished, yet she feared the awkward tension would always be there lingering.

"I... I need your help."

Lydia stopped what she was doing to look at her daughter in shock. "You do?" She dried her hands with the kitchen towel and quickly turned her full attention to her. "Of course, what do you need?"

"The handbook. I know you kept the one that the Maitlands had and I need to see it"

"Why would you need that?"

"I'm interested in your work" Astrid lied, forcing a small smile that she hoped was more than convincing. The smile that Lydia provided could've lit up every dark corner in the house.

After moping in your sorrows for the better part of that night, you finally appeared in Astrid's room the next morning, an apology ready on your tongue before you saw what she was doing. She was furiously flipping through The Handbook for the Recently Deceased, writing down notes in an old notebook.

You cautiously stepped up next to her and looked over her shoulder. "What could you possibly need that book for? You're not dead, babe."

She looked up at you, realizing your looming presence near her. The bags under her eyes were the only indicator that you needed to show her lack of sleep. Her body physically relaxed from its tense stance at seeing you back in her room. "I have the perfect plan on how to bring you back to life"

You groaned and flopped down into her beanbag chair dramatically. It seemed like your usual playful behavior was back at least. "Why must the living be so stubborn?"

"We are going on a trip, come on" She closed the book and tossed it in your direction, clearly expecting you to catch it. It hit the wall behind you with a heavy thud, thankfully not indenting it. You slowly turned your head to look at the book and then back to her.

"Did you really expect a different outcome?"

Astrid hugs her bag over her shoulder with the handbook in it, waiting for you to grab ahold of her so she could start her ride to the town's nursing home. After a deep sigh you hook your leg over the seat and wrap your arms around her midsection.

Your touch felt like a winter chill, but her body had never been warmer. Her heart beat quickly and she prayed you couldn't detect it. Your chin rested on her shoulder as you looked around the town.

You never were a very affectionate person in life, but for Astrid, you made an exception. There was no fear in her eyes when she looked at you now, and that made you feel as if you were finally home again.

The ride to the nursing home was quiet and quick. Astrid greeted the staff with a quick smile, claiming to be visiting her grandmother.

An argument soon broke out between the two of you as you crossed your arms, not happy by what she was proposing.

"Ms. Silvers has been in pain for years from the cancer. Death was inevitable anyway so what's the issue? She seems fine with it" She argued, and you just tilted your head, unconvinced. It was silent for a few minutes before you finally nodded your head, not being able to find a good enough argument to disagree with her plan.

Ms. Silvers was a good sport as you all headed to the cemetery together. She was a sweet old lady with a cane who seemed to be admiring the world through aged eyes.

"My husband loved this time of year" She spoke, her voice scratchy. "I just know he's been waiting for me. Thank you for this, Lovey"

Astrid smiled, walking beside her and making sure she was alright. You looked over at them, still cautious about the whole thing. Your entire life, you had never put yourself before anyone. This felt wrong, yet the old woman beside you could've been the strongest woman alive now. She had more courage than you could've imagined and you admired that.

The quiet Winter air blew past them, and she didn't so much as shiver.

After repeating the incantation in the crypt and entering, you decided it was best to lead the way. You had been to this part before when you first died. Youve come a long way and grown as a person since then. The confident look you always wore wavered slightly, but they couldn't see it since you were far ahead.

The picture for the transfer was about to be taken when Ms. Silvers reached over to give your hand a reassuring squeeze. "Young love is a powerful thing. Take care of each other, alright?"

You couldn't help the smile that overcame your features as you nodded, giving her hand a squeeze in return. "Tell your husband we said hi, would you?"

The transfer went smoothly, and you both walked her to the soul train together. Once inside the train, she sent you both a sweet smile and a wave before she departed.

Your body healed almost instantly; no indications left behind of what had happened to you. Your shirt however, still remained in shambles.

Crawling out of the crypt, you felt as if a rush of air filled your lungs. Your feet met the grass of the graveyard, and the world moved with you instead of without you. It acknowledged your presence and welcomed you with open arms.

You turned to Astrid with a bright smile. "I don't know how to thank you"

"Oh... it was nothing, really." Astrid laughed awkwardly, turning away to avoid your gaze. You looked at her as if she hung the very stars in the sky. The blood flowing through your veins and the shine of your lively skin looked heavenly to her, and she had to stop herself from staring in awe.

Without warning you cupped her face in your hands and kissed her softly, afraid that you might vanish from existence yet again. Her eyes widened in shock before she allowed herself to relax to your touch. Her hands instinctively held your hips, just barely. You pulled away after a moment and rested your forehead against hers.

"Even when I was dead and I couldn't feel anything, I swore I could feel the pounding of my dead heart as if it was beating for you. I'm afraid it will only ever beat for you now that I'm alive again"

She laughed, smiling freely as she looked into your eyes. "Thats the cheesiest thing I've ever heard you say, you dork"

"So, if I asked to kiss you again it wouldn't be as cheesy?" You smirked, and she swore she could get used to this every day for the rest of her life.

Extra:

"Now that your alive, can you finally change that crusty t-shirt?" Astrid teased, holding your hand tightly as you walked back to her house.

You pretended to think about it before laughing "Yes, Ma'am" You winked.

A/N- Thank you lovely anon for requesting a part 2! I have another Astrid fic lined up and, in the works, currently along with the lost boys and others. Please continue to send in requests and I'll get to them as soon as possible. Thank you all for the love on my writing, it means so so much to me.

If there is a possible part 3 wanted it would probably just be filled with little incidents when Astrid now saves the readers life because they forget they’re alive now and could actually get hurt.

If anyone wants to be tagged in any sort of tag list (doesn’t just have to be for Astrid fics), please let me know!

Also, I apologize for the extensive knowledge of the paranormal that I have lol. The afterlife has always fascinated me.

Credits-

Ghost and Graveyard Dividers- @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

[extasiswings]

Okay, SO! In the category of "I think it's possible that Eddie has a brain tumor/is sick in some way":

Eddie is acting weird. Eddie has been acting weird from the beginning of the season, and I know there has been discourse about "it's just that we haven't seen him so happy before" but I respectfully submit that multiple things can be true at the same time. Eddie can be happy AND it can be out of character for him to impulsively drop everything to take a helicopter ride with his new friend he met two seconds ago to see a fight in Vegas (the last time we saw Eddie be truly impulsive I'd argue was S3, buying a truck while in the midst of a serious crisis). Eddie can be happy AND it can be out of character for him to ask his girlfriend of five minutes to move in (and I recognize that we were given an explanation from Eddie in the episode, but Eddie is an unreliable narrator and his explanation also doesn't totally square with what we've seen previously - him rushing introducing her to Christopher tracks, him jumping into moving her into his house without knowing basic information about her life does not).

Then there are the Eddie-coded calls. The guy with the alien hand who is all about rigid self control and being the master of yourself - his body turning against him not because the control failed but because of a blood clot in his brain. And now the guy with encephalitis (the same condition that ultimately caused Chim to hallucinate dead people), who has amnesia and has forgotten the marriage that ended in divorce but recalls the happy time before that when his wife was just his fiancee, the guy who was experiencing chest pains that he thought was a heart attack only for Chim to say he was having a panic attack. They had Eddie be so open about his own experiences with panic attacks and coping mechanisms in 7x01 for a reason - he's genuinely doing better with his own mental health and isn't ashamed or afraid of talking about his mental health struggles. But looking at these two calls, the underlying reason for the call (alien hand, amnesiac/presumed stalker in vent) theoretically could have had mental health explanations, but instead both resulted from physical ailments in the brain. [Tangent: I also think there's something really interesting in the potential callback to S5 and the way Eddie and Maddie were sort of mirrors - Eddie with a seemingly physical problem that was caused by a mental health issue, Maddie with a seemingly mental health issue that turned out to at least in part be the result of a physical problem]

Then there is whatever they're doing with ghosts. Shannon's ghost has lingered over the narrative and was actively put on screen in 7x01. For Chim in 7x06, the ghosts were hallucinations because there was something wrong with his brain. For Bobby, I'm guessing his arc with the burn unit nurse from his past will be more of a metaphorical haunting, bringing up any number of old ghosts (but I'm also going to guess his wife will be one). For Eddie...unclear. Ryan was filming with Devin (ostensibly for 7x09 but if they're doing anything with Shanon's ghost I'd be shocked if it wasn't introduced in 7x07, "Ghost of a Second Chance"), but she didn't exactly look like Shannon. Is she supposed to be Shannon? A dream or hallucination of a different or older her? Is she a real woman who just happens to look like her? If Eddie is hallucinating, then something is clearly very wrong. If it's a random woman and he's, idk, pursuing her in some way because he's drawn to her/the fact that she looks like his dead wife, that's still another point in the "Eddie is acting weird" column (because Eddie is a bad boyfriend and wasn't the greatest husband, but what he has never been is a cheater, even when he and Shannon were separated).

And then of course there's the will of it all. The will that Buck and Eddie haven't talked about since the shooting. Now, it's no secret I love the potential of a trapped dads experience circling back to the will, but I also think there is an argument to be made for a callback to "You're the guy who likes to fix things, maybe this isn't something you can fix." Because usually, when Eddie is in danger, Buck can do something about it, take some actionable step even if a futile one - he can dig through mud, he can drag Eddie's body out of the line of fire and into an ambulance and keep him alive. And for someone who, I would guess, still thinks of himself and the will as a backup plan/contingency, who if put in a trapped dads situation may not be able to stop himself from trying to save Eddie or, if necessary, sacrificing himself to do so, because in his mind, Eddie is Christopher's dad/who Christopher needs most, it is deeply compelling to imagine what happens if Eddie is in danger from something Buck can't fix, can't fight, can't save him from. And Eddie being sick in some capacity does that.

Anyway...I just think it would be Neat.

[like-icarus-burns]

au where buck is like the ghost whisperer, talks to and sees ghosts and helps them move on when he has time, and otherwise owns a coffee shop that eddie starts going to after shannon dies and buck can see shannon following him around and she keeps talking to him as if he can hear her and for awhile buck is convinced that he can but eventually realizes that no, eddie can’t seem to hear his dead wife, can’t possibly because she keeps trying to will eddie into making a move on buck and buck is Struggling to figure out how to clue her in on being able to hear her or if he should just stay quiet and so for a while that’s what he does and then she makes a particularly lewd comment that has buck red from head to toe and she seems to catch on that he can hear her and it’s like the detective pikachu movie where she’s pikachu “finally someone who can hear me!” before promptly begging buck to help her help her would-be ex-husband move on because he deserves so much happiness after everything they’ve been through

i have no thoughts beyond this but. this is what i’m thinking about currently. fyi.

[the-amber-raven]

I would never delete my fics

I got linked to a reddit thread today where people were being advised to download my mortifying ordeals/Buddie fics, since apparently "now that I'm a BuckTommy shipper", I might be "petty" and delete all my Buddie fics.

So. I'll move past the complicated feelings it gives me to have people hoarding my fics while actively shitting on me as a person (and seemingly not even telling me that they enjoyed my work, although in fairness that could just be a difference in usernames.) That's the nature of fanfic, fandom, and putting things out there on the internet and I accept that.

But I do want to reassure people that I would never delete my fics. I still have the cringy-as-fuck Harry Potter fics I wrote in high school up; believe me those would be first on the chopping block if I was inclined to delete my work. And all of my 9-1-1 fics hold a special place in my heart, but none more than the mortifying ordeals series, which consumed basically a full year of my life and reminded me why I love writing. Hell, I got engaged while writing the final chapters of I once was lost. That fic is indelibly tied to my life now.

And look... I don't think it really matters, nor should I have to explain and justify what I do and don't enjoy about a show or fandom, but this whole experience has upset me more than it probably should have and I can't help but want to get it off my chest anyway.

My favourite thing about this show is the found family feels. I either love or am at least intrigued by every single character that has appeared. You'll notice that family is the central theme of every story I write, whether the story is Gen, Buddie, or BuckTommy.

Because yes, the idea of BuckTommy and how that plays into the family themes of the show has intrigued me and captured my muse.

I've also said before that I didn't think Season 7 left Buddie in a great place in terms of romantic relationship potential - in my opinion, the ghost of Shannon would be an absolutely massive barrier to them getting together right now. The post season 7 Buddie fics have also heavily featured character bashing, which isn't something I generally enjoy seeing, and infidelity, which I really don't like seeing romanticised especially since I've had a partner cheat on me.

So yes, I've distanced myself from the post-S7 Buddie fandom because I just don't enjoy the pervasive negativity I've seen and the way that cheating and violence is suddenly celebrated by a significant subset of the fandom.

That does not mean I've given up on Buddie altogether. I still have a whole list of pre-S7 buddie fics in my to-be-read list that I've been making my way through and 2 out of my 5 WIPs are Buddie fics (both in the mortifying ordeals 'verse, just to make it even clearer that I'm not at all interested in deleting that series.)

But two of those 5 are BuckTommy, because as I said above, their relationship was intriguing to me and it captured my muse.

I don't think those opinions make me some kind of betrayer, or that they inherently make me a "petty" person but I guess I just didn't realise that not-exclusively-shipping-Buddie was such a High Crime in this fandom.

[outrunningthedark]

Tim had to be fucking with us though lol both bt and buddies cos why is Eddie always involved in bucktommy shit?? Like yes he needs to do something in the show and he has no Chris so Eddie needs some storytelling but … cmon?? Can we just see them as a fucking couple only? This isn’t a throple, I kinda just wanna see Buck and Tommy progress as a couple alone. There’s no development shown yet at all this season

You do understand Tim has been a chronically online show runner who spent years reading about how "Buck and Eddie's love interests should be interacting with the other guy more if we're supposed to believe they have a chance of lasting", right? You do understand that Tim is trying to finally do things differently to move away from the idea of Buddie going canon, right? Having Tommy around Buck's best friend is about cementing Tommy in Buck's life, not distancing him or even putting Eddie first! (See also: Buck going to Eddie's house in 7x10 having nothing to do with the BuckTommy dinner because Tim didn't want to give the impression that Eddie took priority, which had been done in previous seasons!) And yes, it is also largely about the fact that Eddie hasn't done much so far this season because he's single and Chris left for Texas. That's why I keep hammering home the importance of Tim actually MOVING ON from The Ghost of Shannon because if what we saw last season and this season re: limited appearances by Chris is going to continue...Tim's gonna have to fill in the time somehow or Eddie (Ryan) really will end up looking like he still exists 'cause he's just "too pretty to die". (Which, yeah, helps the money keep coming, but does nothing to showcase his acting abilities that could then open the door to other opportunities.)

[andavs]

Crack theory that I personally think would be incredibly funny:

The reason Marisol NoName’s been so bland and we haven’t learned so much as what she does for a living is because this is actually Vertigo. She’s intentionally infiltrated Eddie’s life for something nefarious, and after digging up photos of Shannon during their 48 hours of living together, she went and hired someone who looks like Shannon to mess with him for reasons.

Something absolutely ridiculous, like she's after that random fucking Chevelle. Eddie inherited it from Isabel when she moved to Texas, but it was actually used in some big unsolved historic bank robbery before his grandparents got it, or maybe his abuelo had a secret life. Marisol and her brother are the grandkids of Abuelo's old partner who got caught, and they've been searching for years and thought the key to the lost money would be inside the car.

But Marisol has been searching it while she babysits Chris and he's distracted playing video games. She can't find anything, so she'll have to talk to Isabel herself and see if she can get more information. But Eddie doesn't go out to Texas very often so she'll have to bring Isabel out to LA. How does she do that? Create an emergency so the whole family will have to come running to Eddie. An emergency like a total breakdown over Shannon's doppelganger, and then when they're all preoccupied with Eddie seemingly imploding his life, Marisol will make her move.

Supporting evidence:

How did Marisol NoName-NoJob buy a house by herself in LA? Why wouldn’t they at least tell us what she does or say her family has money? It would take one single line of dialogue. Suspicious.

She recognized and approached Eddie in the glue aisle

Who in their right mind would agree to move in with a guy they’ve only been dating a few months? She was snooping.

The nun thing was insane and why wouldn’t they at least give a reason for her quitting?

Eddie’s presumably been to her house multiple times, so wouldn’t he have noticed if she was actually super religious? She brought a damn Jesus bobblehead to move in and put it in a box of bedroom stuff, that doesn’t sound like the kind of person who would keep it all shoved in an armoire.

“You two aren’t going anywhere” sounded like a threat and jumping up to hug Eddie and Chris like that was an objectively weird thing to do in that moment.

“You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” I know it’s a thing people say but I hate her.

Edy is such a mediocre actor that I can’t tell if Marisol’s smiles are supposed to be genuine or not.

Unless it was for another job, she posted a video whispering about a briefcase and being creepy on a set.

A nun kills the imposter in Vertigo and maybe Eddie finds closure by saving Kim this time.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Everything Ryan says is so considered and interesting I’m obsessed with him!

His language is so loaded - and gives so many clues about is arc! Machismo and not talking about feelings - ties back to hero complex and his relationship with his father - but also his mother - especially his mother - because she was actually a big part of creating that culture in the diaz house - because Ramon was ‘never there’

Him saying Eddie has spent the last few seasons trying to re-navigate and take new directions but whilst still being the old version of himself - so loud and informative. The play on the Shannon of it all - and the repeating mistakes in new ways. The not allowing himself to actually move on and let go of his ghosts.

That’s also loaded in the other direction as well - this idea that it’s not just him still stuck as this old version of himself - it’s not just him that’s not allowing himself to move on - that the people who represent his past are still holding onto the old him as well - his parents - it’s a statement about how they view him - and ties into the theme of Eddie begins - the idea his parents think they know best and want to dictate how he lives his life - the insistence he should come home or that they should take Chris. Something that’s been brought back into focus with Chris leaving to stay with them. It’s the idea that Eddie us work to do about getting them to recognise and accept the person he is and wants to be - and not to keep treating him as they always have done.

reworking his idealisations of the past brought up with his learnings of the present - and the earlier reference to the 118 and the firefam teaching him stuff. This especially implies what he’s learnt about love - and that what he sees of that with the firefam is vastly different to his experiences of it back in Texas - and with Shannon as well. The Shannon part of it Particularly - it all speaks to Eddie having been wearing rose tinted glasses and putting his relationship with Shannon up onto a sort of pedastal.

Implement is an interesting word choice as well in connection with this. It indicates slow change rather than drastic change - the idea of growth and of not rushing to be fixed and healed.

Idealisation is a direct play on the catholic faith - it’s a play on idolism and

Learnings of the present is also a choice - present can be taken to read all of Eddie’s time in LA - but it infers especially the more recent past - so season 7. Why would Eddie be prepared to implement learnings of the present now at this point. It’s not just the loss of Chris from LA and his home. It’s a big part of it yes, but Season 7 is when so many things converge. It’s the glasses being removed when it comes to Shannon - the break through that’s been brewing. It’s also being confronted with religion and its long lasting impact on who he is. I’ve always found it to be particularly interesting that they chose to have Eddie start dating a diy-er who was a former almost nun. The idea of faith being something under construction (yes the construction on sunset metaphor never goes away) and something you build for yourself rather than how Catholicism is a prefabricated and built by others faith. The juxtaposition of the church - something with the weight of history attached to it and an inability to move with the times and change - and the concept of diy faith being something you construct and build to suit you - the updating of something so that it fits with where you are at now. Marisol is a lesson in choosing to not stick with the status quo if it doesn’t fit, and instead building what you want your life to look like from the foundations that pre-existing faith has given you. It gives rise to the idea that eddies present learning is in part that he can construct a life that fits him and he doesn’t have to mould himself to what someone else prescribed. That he can take the bits of his faith that he does like and build those into something that suits him.

But it’s also Buck - Buck making his own break through and figuring out this big part of himself and choosing to embrace it in season 7 is a part of giving Eddie the confidence to do that for himself. It’s not just about the buddie of it all. The very deliberate decision by the writers to have Eddie be the one Buck is the most concerned about coming out to - the one he intentionally tells in a 1-1 situation and have that be much of the focus of bucks arc in the immediate aftermath of his bi awakening is as much about Buck as it is about Eddie. Buck coming out to Eddie allows the spiral he’s in about his catholic guilt to take on a different direction and ultimately spiral out much further into something that blows up his life. It’s Eddie’s subconscious - his repressed inner self beginning to break free.

This quote also backs this up - the implication being that his relationships have all failed because they were built on a version of religion and spirituality that doesn’t fit with who Eddie is at his core. Referencing that Latino culture is built on Catholicism and that isn’t the actual bedrock of Latino culture is interesting. He also references the Mayans when talking about this and pre colonialisation mesoamerica. (This shows that Ryan is well read and thinks deeply on his heritage). That in combination is interesting as a concept for Eddie. The idea that who he is at his core is actually different to the person he has ended up becoming - implying that the true Eddie is hidden beneath a history that has been imposed on him - in the same way that the culture and faith of the mayans was buried and repressed when the Spanish invaded and conquered Mexico and much of South America.

Using the word ‘wrongly’ infers that Eddie is going to choose to reveal and embrace that repressed version of himself - the version of himself that is his truest form. I already made a post about the Mayan aspect of Ryan’s interview, but I will point it out here as well. The Mayan culture embraced homosexuality, it was an accepted way of life and largely viewed in favourable light and it was in fact a major part of many religious ceremonies and in the healing of people by shamans. So along with everything else I’ve said above, that’s hinting pretty heavily at Eddie’s arc leading to him embracing his queer identity.

[exhuastedpigeon]

As nervous as I am for the rest of this season (the titles alone are so much), I'm also so excited for it.

I'm so excited for a Bobby storyline. For Bobby to face his past and hopefully really, truly move forward. Because as much as he's moved on, he has Athena and her family and the 118, he still blames himself. He still doesn't think he deserves the love he has and until he can forgive himself he'll keep thinking he doesn't deserve it.

We've seen it time and time again - Bobby puts so much pressure on himself and fails to see the good he does. I always come back to the moment between Bobby and Eddie when Eddie told Bobby if he's going to blame himself for Jonah than he needs to take some credit for Eddie because he saved his life and he saved Chris's life by doing that.

Bobby Nash is a flawed man, but as his core he's good and kind and loving. He needs to be able to look in the mirror and forgive himself. He needs to see all the positive ways he's impacted his friends, his family.

And I'm excited to see the Eddie storyline, whatever it is. Because Eddie and Bobby are mirrors of each other. Peter Krause has said as much himself.

Eddie also needs to forgive himself for his past. His ghosts aren't exactly like Bobby's but they're similarly shaped.

The ghost of a dead wife. The ghost of what could have been if Shannon hadn't died. The ghost of who Eddie thinks he needs to be.

I'm so excited to see what comes from Bobby and Eddie's stories. And from the rest of the firefam's stories, obviously. But god, Bobby's story alone is probably going to kill me.

[mazzystar24]

Don’t mind me just thinking about how for the first time buck and Eddie are both in a good place mentally at the same time which would be the perfect time to make buddie canon

Like just from the first episode and all the interviews we already can see how Eddie has healed and grown so much and is in a much better place mentally, and buck breaking up with Natalia and going after what makes him feel good and rejecting things that don’t is something so huge for him because in the past he’s always been the one clinging onto anyone who shows him the slightest bit of love or attention no matter how many issues there are (and we know that this season he deals with his traumas and stuff too)

So if they do go canon this would be perfect because they’d have done the healing and growth separately so they can be secure and stable in themselves as individuals before they come together

S2- buck had just been ghosted by Abby and Eddie had all his stuff with Shannon and moving to LA

S3- ladder truck aftermath, lawsuit, fighting, Shannon’s death aftermath, tsunami, legit take your pick this season was ROUGH for these guys

S4- buck finding about Daniel and then eddie getting shot

S5- aftermath of the shooting, Eddie’s breakdown

S6- buck not being happy or secure in himself still, year of yes,sperm donor, lightening strike and coma dream (and all the undertones of suicidal ideation that comes with that)

Also I’m not at all saying the "You can't love anyone until you love yourself" cliche because I honestly do not believe it (actually my thoughts on it are more complicated but that’s a long explanation I’ll spare you the yapping ) but I will say that individual healing is very important to a good relationship, especially in quite extreme examples like this, I do also feel the need to mention that they did in fact love eachother through these things (platonic or romantic you decide) so that quote suck ass

[theladyyavilee]

the implication that eddie has been WATCHING buck ever since the lightning strike though and HAS been seeing buck and the change in him, but maybe not fully realized the extent of it and the way buck was struggling with it until this moment

but also, those looooong pauses between ‘but you are different’ ... ‘you haven’t been the same’ ... ‘how could you be?’ the comtemplativeness, THE REALIZATION, those lines are just as much about eddie as they are about buck

Eddie is only now seeing things fully, I think he might be connecting how HE has been different, how he himself has been changed by this experience too, he literally says it after ‘experiences like this change us’ and yes it’s about how his own brush with death changed him, but it is ALSO about how buck’s brush with death changed him, isn’t it? and that in an episode that has eddie remembering shannon and how she didn’t just have a brush with death, she died, more permanently than buck and that changed eddie too - the fact that they are putting such a spotlight on the parallel between buck dying and coming back and shannon dying just *screams into hands* and eddie very obviously remembering the sentiment of ‘tomorrow’s not promised’ in relation to his family, but did he realize it in relation to buck? who is actively slipping through his fingers and moving at breakneck speed towards natalia? because buck is VERY much feeling the ‘tomorrow’s not promised’ with the ‘which is why I have to make the most of every moment’ but he is once again misunderstanding what that means, clinging to the first thing that even remotely seems to resemble what he has been looking for, but eddie, eddie is different, he IS moving in the right direction with his family on the theme of using the time you have, but he is still not letting himself contemplate his own love life, he is still a little stuck on shannon’s ghost the way her picture is stuck to the fridge, but it fell and he FINALLY let himself contemplate her in all the somberness he’s been displaying this episode, which felt a lot like letting part of her ghost go and just

everything is connected to everything and they are pulling so many strings together at the same time that it feels like I keep missing references left and right (don’t even get me started on ‘I feel like she really sees me’ while not seeing that Eddie has been watching and seeing him and the whole ‘It’s like he is choosing not to see them’ from 6x1 of it all)

[nqueso-emergency]

but why do all the buddies think Ryan filming in a church is leading us to queer Eddie. Isn’t it more likely he’s doing something to actually deal with his grief over Shannon that’s still haunting him? Finding some way to move past it? Or at least move on from the ghost of Shannon. Please, why can’t they think things through.

Shhhh it's their last hope. Let them believe it a little bit until they grow up.

Look at them. Maximum Effort.