#mostly just more of the same not too much interesting here
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Back with more White Diamond x Sentinel Prime crackship nonsense baby!!!
Ever since I first thought about these goobers, I haven't known a single day of peace (mostly cause the ideas are just racking around in my brain)
So here's a list of headcanons I came up with for Prime Diamond! If you have any questions regarding this ship, my ask box is open. Double if you have any thoughts or anything to add, go on ahead! I hope y'all enjoy!
I may make a part 2 when I come up with more lol
For this relationship to even be possible (as possible as a crackship between two characters from completely different franchises can be), it will have to take place Post-Steven Universe Finale/Future when White Diamond is in her therapy, self-help guru era. And when Sentinel Prime is... alive.
Also, I have been trying to do research regarding this but since the results are so inconsistent, I'm gonna assume White Diamond is around 80 to 90 ft tall and Sentinel is around 60 (based on how he's double Orion Pax's height and apparently TF One Orion is around 33 ft tall). If you know their actual canonical heights or anything close to that, please lemme know!
As mentioned in a reblog, White Diamond would take an interest in Sentinel Prime as a sort of little DIY project. Though he tries to hide it, White with her supernatural intuitiveness can tell there's more to him than meets the eye (he's an asshole). Having been inspired by Steven to see the worth and beauty in imperfections, she wants to give someone like Sentinel a chance like Steven did for her. Though she is making genuine strides to improve upon her previous controlling and obsessive behavior regarding perfection, this aspect of her will resurface in her attempts "fix" Sentinel while in a relationship with him. She adores and finds much interest in his "positive imperfections," but helping him improve on his more negative ones wouldn't hurt, right?
Other reasons she developed an attraction to him is for the same reason all the Sentinel fangirls did: he's just so... pathetic. When he tries to impress her with stories of battles he's never fought in and gives her a tour of his treasure room full of artifacts he didn't discover, she can tell he's trying way too hard to impress her. She finds this cute and charming rather than douchey and desperate.
Sentinel Prime pursued her because, as stated in a previous reblog, "his diva ass was always going to try and seek out a gem fit for a king." He laid his eyes on an 80-90 ft giant alien rock woman and thought,"I need her." As any sane person would. She was supposed to be nothing more than another symbol of wealth for him to show off to the other elites and officials of Iacon City to further cement the royal image he works so hard to maintain. He definitely underestimated how overwhelming White Diamond can be, and I am not just referring to her height.
Sentinel would rather have his spark be extinguished than admit to this, but his stabilizing servos get wobbly at the idea of his alien girlfriend being so much taller than he is. His pride would never admit to this, nor would it accept someone taller than him accompanying him. He believes that as a "Prime," he is supposed to be much taller, bigger, and more imposing than those around him.
Whenever they make a public appearance, Sentinel insists that White shrink herself to a height more tolerable for his fragile ego. He bullshits an excuse about their buildings not being designed for a being as tall as she is. White obliges, but given how Iacon was built when the previous actual Primes were all gigantic and alive, she quickly figures his lie and confronts him about it. He'd just lie again and say he didn't want the other Cybertronians to be intimidated... by her beauty. Clearly, it's not because of some Napolean complex or something. Still, White is in her patience era, so she takes the compliment for what it is.
The "guy who doesn't like speeches" vs. "professional yapper" isn't a joke. Sentinel can't stand how much White Diamond loves to yap. She's the kind of person to have thoughts and opinions about anything and everything. Given that she doesn't breathe, she doesn't even need to catch her breath in the middle of speaking, so she can go on and on and on, much to Sentinel's annoyance.
He tries to get her to quiet down at times, but as White tends to do, she either doesn't hear him or straight up ignores him. Her monologuing, along with her height and just how shiny she is, is very overwhelming for Sentinel at times. The only good thing he finds about this aspect of his sweetspark is when she dotes on him and showers him with compliments and attention. As if an attention hungry fame whore needed any more of it.
Sentinel even allows White to indulge in her psychoanalysis, playing up the whole "tragic hero whose brothers and sisters perished in battle and now has to face the pain and weight of protecting his people alone" angle that she eats up. White does sometimes hit dangerously close to home, so Sentinel shuts her down before she could dig straight to bedrock and uncover the more unfavorable parts of himself he wants to stay hidden.
Speaking of staying hidden, the way White carries herself in public makes Sentinel was to keep her locked away in a jewelry box. White is excellent when it comes to using her words to inflict psychic damage or to build someone up. When it comes to social situations where charisma, relatability, and poise are needed, this is when White is at her most alien. She is not the most socially adjusted given that prior to the finale, she spent thousands of years hidden away in a world of her own delusions. She doesn't have much of a filter, something she has been working on to avoid upsetting others.
She has the habit of pointing out any interesting thing that catches her eye, especially about people, whether or not it's positive or negative. This has led to her unsettling the bots at best or offending them at worst. Sentinel then has to come in and use his charisma to difuse the situation and paint her behavior in a more positive light. Only for White to turn around and ask everyone if they ever noticed how Sentinel's wings move in accordance to his mood and how adorable it is. Everyone laughs. Sentinel is thoroughly pissed.
Sentinel definitely has more relationship experience than White Diamond. All of her knowledge comes from what she's heard from the gems that come to her for advice or from that human show the little green Crystal Gem recommended (she can't remember her name). In her attempts to emulate the behavior she's heard of and observed, she ends up coming off as cringe or detached from reality. At certain points of the relationship, she even imposes certain "deadlines" on courtship behaviors she expects from Sentinel. All his previous relationships were private, casual flings. He only made this one public because bagging a bad bitch like White Diamond is an accomplishment he felt he had to show off.
This may come to bite him in the aft when her radiance catches the attention of other bots. On these occasions, he acts possessive and showers her with attention, gifts, and affection. He tells himself and Airachnid it's because he doesn't want her to outshine him in the eyes of the public. In reality, he gets jealous and doesn't want to lose her interest and, most importantly, her attention. As overwhelming and embarrassing as she can be, a twisted part of him really craves her attention.
In private, Sentinel can flip flop greatly in how he treats White. On some days he leans on her for support and wants her to pet his wings while he vents about all the dumb, annoying bots he has to fraternize with and all the boring meetings he has to attend. White occasionally interrupts him with advice or her own views on the situation, which frustrates Sentinel. On other days, he's completely detached, not even bothering to give her the time of day. He is at his most consistently sweet and romantic when they're both in the public eye, performing grand gestures of love. This intensifies when they're on camera.
They present themselves as THE Iacon couple, but Sentinel and White argue a lot about pretty much anything. More often than not, White is trying to advise him on how to improve himself and his city, and Sentinel kindly tells her to shut up and mind her own business.
They are both very prideful people who can't accept when they are wrong. White is more willing than Sentinel to admit to it and compromise. If she believes she is 100% in the right, she won't go down without a verbal fight. She has yet to figure out how to properly counter Sentinel's "NUH UH!" though. She believes this is normal and healthy as she hears time and time again how arguments are a sign of a functional relationship. White knows how in the past she never allowed anyone to express their grievances or criticize her. If they did, she'd twist their words to further force her own viewpoint or take control over their mind and body. Seeing Sentinel passionately argue back while White practices her listening skills and only sometimes speaks over him gives her hope that she isn't regressing back to her previous toxicity. No one has told her that disagreements are healthy and normal, but frequent fights and arguments are not. And the kind of hellish circles these two go in just ain't it
#transformers#transformers one#sentinel prime#tf one sentinel prime#white diamond#steven universe white diamond#su white diamond#crackship#headcanons#shipping#prime diamond#taffie yaps#tf one#microwaving them in my brain
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I'm so torn between ROs... Honestly can't decide between S, who seem to be like the greenest of flags here - they're human, and have no ulterior motive (I think?) to pursue the MC, apart from the initial spark of attraction and curiosity. Also their personality seems okay as well, they look like a mature person, someone with whom it is easy to communicate and just be around. Sure, they have their own inner demons, but come on - who doesn't? At least S try to not make their demons everyone else's problem.
But also there is N, who seem a little bit too much for me personally, but, oh, I do want to romance them just to spite Alek.
And also there is Umbra! Umbra, reappearing out of thin air, when they are needed. Umbra, who looks like an encyclopedia illustration of 'ride or die' term. Umbra, who follows us around like a lost puppy. A little bit creepy - in a sexy way - tall, dark, alluring puppy. Somehow the fact they do not realize how attractive they are and how much more they intrigue the MC by trying to keep us at arm's length, makes them even more attractive.
God save multiple save slots 🤣🤣🤣
Also, if there is some kind of petition about making Hunter a LI in the next book, please, sign me in. I really like their personality. They are surprisingly honest and do not try to cover their motives behind pleasantries. Yes, we do not know yet what those motives are, but still. I also love their 'no f***s given' attitude and the fact that they like to get on the MC's nerves a little bit. But at the same time they immediately back off when they see we are genuinely not in the mood. What a beautiful potential for the 'push and pull' relationship dynamic! To annoy each other, first out of spite and mutual irritation, using pet names as an insult, but slowly starting to anticipate this banter, making it flirtier and annoying not each other, but everyone else around... Starting to like each other's stubbornness and edginess... Chief's kiss.
Oh, but also, of you say Hunter is a shitty person, and there is nothing to redeem them, that's all right, too. If they are genuinely a bad person, and want to use our MC for whatever reason, and do not care for us as a person, then we can just ask Umbra to pay them a friendly visit and to (intimidate them to death)... I mean, poop on their porch or something. Like a good puppy they are.
Hi, anon! I’m so glad my evil plan to have everyone fall in love with each of my ROs is working, haha.
But yes, you are right about S being the greenest of green flags, lol. All the ROs have a journey to go through, but S is well in the depths of theirs already and has mostly come through the other side. I wanted at least one RO to be well-adjusted. That isn’t to say they won’t experience struggle in their route, but they will handle it with dignity and maturity.
N is definitely a little full-on, but they can also be good fun to write, at least, haha.
Umbra is a cutie. Definitely MC’s ride-or-die. Umbra came from a really personal place, so I can’t help but have a soft spot for them. They were my guardian angel exactly when I needed them, so now I hand them over to everyone else, too. Just in case.
I’ve been giving it a lot of thought since the discourse started about Hunter. Hunter is not a good person, but I think it will make for a very interesting dynamic if people decide to pursue him. By the time his potential romance comes around, people will be able to make a much more informed decision about him. So, although I couldn’t make him an RO in book one, I think it will work out for the best this way.
Thank you so much for the kind message :) It really means a lot.
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Ok idk how plausible this is but like. Just considering the possibility. Let's think about it for a second.
Shadow has Chaos Island on his register for Shadow Generations. In a more meta explanation, we know its because Chaos Island was the least utilised location in Sonic Frontiers: most of its platforming was 2D, and the more interesting locations that players wanted to travel to were either unreachable or off in the distance as set design. Among other things. Shadow himself hadn't actually been there, but he hadn't clocked that since the game's story took place at the same time as 2011 Generations did.
Gerald's explanation for its, as well as that of Sunset Heights' existence in white space was that the Time Eater (or Black Doom?? Idk they don't really make it clear who's controlling what) was pulling from locations in Shadow's FUTURE as well as his past, so some locations that were present were for a future Shadow to experience instead.
Is it at all possible... that maybe we haven't seen that version of Shadow either? Is it possible that Shadow is among a cast who return to Starfall Islands in a Sonic game further into the future than what we know about?
I don't have much to back this, and I'm cool with that. It's just an interesting idea to think about.
The plot of Sonic Frontiers is fairly linear, but the primary story beats within the characters held a very clear message about change. Change, progression, and wanting to move on to become something more than what they believed themselves to be. Amy wants to explore the world and find more places to share her passion and love with others. Knuckles wants to push himself to leave Angel Island and have a life outside of his role as the Guardian of the Master Emerald. Tails wants to be more independent, and spend time honing his skills without Sonic to fall back on when he's in trouble. Sonic is notably excluded from this common desire to change, but they don't touch much on his reaction to this information and he's primarily there to spurr on their motivation anyways. I have my own feelings about Sonic himself in Frontiers, but it's not super important to go into here. Point is, the characters here are looking for growth. An opportunity to give to themselves room for change.
Shadow did much of the same in Shadow Generations, but Gerald's dialogue about his motivation in life being stagnant after he and Maria move on is a nod to the idea that Shadow is very much not done on the development front.
He's let go of his past, and has a drive to keep moving forward in honour of it.
Now what?
I'm not sure how, or when, or if it could happen, but I think it would be interesting for Shadow to find that same kind of time for introspection as (three of) the core 4 did on the Starfall Islands. Frontiers had that softer, more serious tone to it that Shadow's change in attitude would benefit from. His half of generations was able to match that tone, since he made most of the journey on his own. Anyone who interacted with him brought an atmosphere that fit the individual cutscene.
What kind of conclusion could he come to, given the time to think about it? Who would be at his side to help him voice his thoughts?
Does Shadow know what he wants in his life? If not to Maria, where will he look to find the answer to that question?
All of this speculation is mostly shot down by the fact that this game occurs that little bit too far back in the timeline for these things to line up, but I still wanted to consider it. Its interesting to think about, and I've been having fun trying to guess what Sega has in store for these little guys. Whatever comes next, I hope it's got the same love and care in it that went into Shadow Generations, because that way we know we'll be in for something good. Lmk what you think!
#thank you for reading all of this im a little insane abt it <33#they've set up a lot of good stuff with these past two games and im really really really really hoping they do something good with it#but yk we'll see#sonic the hedgehog#sth#sxsg#sonic x shadow generations#shadow the hedgehog#sonic frontiers#sticks can talk!?
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Some more recent-ish stuff, but this time a few of them are actually fresher-
#sham's art#shamsbabs#iliana#penna#pumpernickel#mandorian#myst#doad#AHA betcha you didn't expect the doad tag#no one ever does#they are forbidden beasts that should have their name invoked only when you least expect it#anyway nothing too special here#penna had a bday uhhh my artstyle's doing a thing (i learned how to take my time for once)#making another new oc [audible audience sigh sound effect]#mostly just more of the same not too much interesting here#i'm tempted to make more myst x aqua content soon i just gotta find my motivation again#i have... many things to finish first BUT i can dream#digital doodles#notebook doodles#sketchbook doodles#abzu oc#kingdom hearts oc#gargoyles oc#vyranse#army of the roses
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ive been thinking about the red string superstition recently and also sol bufo always and it makes me sick how uncannily caldwell tanner has made sol to perfectly target me personally
(+ cropped versions !)
#naddpod#ba2mia#ba2umia#solum bufo#swag daniels#calliope petrichor#calder kilde#alexandrite#posts by me dot com#okay..... SECRET TAGS RAMBLE!#so basically this superstition is like ... i think a chinese/buddhist/taoist superstition?#ive taken some creative liberties with it... but its mostly accurate to how its been told to me?#but of course theres lots of variations! some more abt bad luck; some say to tie it on the doorknob#etc etc ... lots a variations#i was also rlly interested in the .... weird illogic? of the thing?#like the red attracts and repels spirits at the same time#so thats something i was thinking about with too. red is assocuated with both swag and alexandrite. which to me was kinda reflecting like#i think what murph said . swags place in the wild is in a way. an extension of what he learned from the network#mothership s inextractivle from sol and swags lives. they will always be held doen by it. thats the spirit that will follow them forever#that they choose to hold on too! as much pain as it brought ... some of the experience was worth it#and anyway. theres somethingwrong w me that the minute someone brought up this superstition my brain went#'ohhh just like sol!' < needs to touch grass moment#but i CANT BELIEVE. CALDWELL DID THE RED STRING. AND ITS LITERALLY A MOURNING RITUAL#caldwell keeps accodentally makig that frog ASIAN. to MEEEE!!!!!!#but. anyway. idk. ive always hced sol kept the piece of yarn and it makes me kinda .... what if y let the malicious spirits follow you.#and haunt you. what if its the closest you can get to keeping the person still around#and sol and swag obviously have so much about homes .... so!#(ok. weve reached the pt where maybe nobodys reading? so confession is this is sort of a well. ive just been doodling this comic everyday#after a wake. and it was sort of inspired after realising i was even a bit sad about it maybe. so. idk its about sol but also?#i guess the projection doesnt end at him being asian. hehe. is what i mean. LOL. okay secret tags over . buried lore. dont look here folks)
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I never touched it but I feel like i only ever hear positive things said about song of achilles.. in (rough strokes at least) what makes it dogshit to you?
Okay it's been a while since I actually read it so some of this might not be spot on accurate. Sorry if at any point I say 'the book never does xyz' and it actually does once or twice but I think my underlying criticisms are accurate
-Patroclus is made into like this soft gentle tender quivering little yaoi boy. In the source text, he's shown as compassionate and moved by the suffering of his own men (and apparently having some medical skill, tending to the wounded in the camp), but very much invested n combat and very, very good at it (pages worth of descriptions of the guys he's killing left and right). In this, the arguably more complex character from this 8th century BC text is flattened into Being A Healer, he doesn't want to go to war he just wants to help people, he only goes because Achilles has to but he doesn't want to fight he's a HEALER he's a gentle lover NOT A FIGHTER who just wants to help he just wants to help everyone around him he HEALS while Achilles is a doomed warrior who is so good at fighting and KILLING its a DICHOTOMY GUYS!!!LIKE THE BEAUTIFUL SUN AND MOON DOOMED LOVERS SO SAD patocluse HEALER . (I Think he's specifically characterized as being BAD at fighting but might be misremembering)
-I don't remember much about Achilles' characterization I think it just makes him less of a jackass while not adding anything of interest and levels out into being mad boring.
-Not getting into the literal millenias old debate whether the mythological characters Achilles and Patroclus were being characterized as some type of lover by the original oral sources of the Iliad or its Homeric writers. We will never know. We don't even know what (if any) culturally accepted conventions of male homosexuality existed in bronze age Greece (we know much more about their descendants). But there are some interesting elements of their characterization in this direction, with how unconventional their relationship is WITHIN the text itself- Patroclus is described as cooking for Achilles and his guests (very specifically a woman/wife's job), Achilles chides Patroclus like a father, but there's also scene where Achilles' mourning of him directly echoes a passage of Hector's wife mourning her husband, Patroclus is explicitly stated to Achilles' elder, and is overall treated as his equal or near-equal, closest confidant and most beloved friend (to the point that pederastic classical Greeks would debate over who was erastes (older authority figure lover) and who was eromenos (adolescent 'beloved')- many took it as a given that this text depicted their present-day cultural norms of homosexual behavior but it existed so Outside of these norms that it had to be debated who was who). Their relationship is non-standard both within the text and to the descendants of the civilization that wrote them.
Basically what I'm saying is this book had opportunities to like, explore the unconventionality of the relationship (being presented here as explicitly lovers), explore the dynamics of why Patroclus wants to do 'women's work' (besides being a tenderhearted softboy), the weird dynamics where they take on paternal roles to each other but also roles of wives, how they feel about being this way, and just kind of Doesn't. Which I guess isn't an intrinsic fault (because it omits much of what I just talked about to begin with). it's just like.... Lame. This book takes jsut abandons everything interesting about the source text in favor of flattening it into bland Doomed Yaoi.
-The conflict that sets off the core story of the Iliad is Achilles and Agamemnon fighting over Briseis, an enslaved Trojan woman taken by Achilles as a war-trophy, Achilles spends most of the story moping because he was dishonored by his 'trophy' being taken. Achilles and Patroclus and everyone else are raping their captives, all the women in the story are either captured Trojans (or in the case of the free women within the walls of Troy, soon to be enslaved, and are slave owners themselves). Slavery as an institution and extreme patriarchal conventions are innate to the text and reflective of the context in which it was developed. You cannot avoid it.
But obviously you can't have your soft yaoi boys doing this, so the author has them capturing women to Protect Them from the other men. Their slaves are UNDER THEIR PROTECTION and VERY SAFE (and they might even Like And Befriend Them but I might be misremembering that. Briseis does though). Our heroes have apparently absorbed none of the ideals of the culture they exist in and the author seems to think "they're gay and aren't sexually attracted to their captives" would translate to them being outright benevolent (also as if wartime sexual violence is just about attraction and not part of a wider spectrum of violent acts to dehumanize and brutalize an accepted 'enemy')
In the source text, Briseis mourns Patroclus as being the kindest to her of her captors, who tried to get her a slightly better outcome by getting her married to Achilles (which probably would be the Least Bad of all possible outcomes for a woman in that situation, becoming a legal wife instead of a slave), and wonders what will happen to her now that he's gone. This is a really really sad, horrible, and compelling dynamic which could be fleshed out in very interesting ways but is instead is tossed entirely aside in favor of them being Besties. Like brother and sister.
All of the above pisses me off so much. If you don't want to engage in the icky parts of ancient/bronze age Greece then don't write a retelling of a story taking place in bronze age Greece. I'm not gonna get mad at children's adaptations of Greek myths or silly fun stories loosely based on them for omitting the rape and slavery but it is SO fundamental to the Iliad. If you're not willing to handle it, either fully omit it or better yet set your Iliad inspired yaoi in an invented swords-and-sandals setting where you can have all your heartbreaking tragic doomed lovers plot beats and not have to clumsily write around the women they're brutalizing.
-The author didn't seem to know what to do with Thetis and she made her just like, Achilles bitch mother who spends most of the story trying to separate our Yaoi Boys (iirc her disguising Achilles as a girl and hiding him on Scyros is made to be more about getting him away from Patroclus than trying to save her son from his prophesied doom in the Trojan War) until she sees how much they loooove each other and I think helps Patroclus' spirit get to the afterlife or something in the end?
-This is more of a personal taste gripe but it has that writing style I loathe where the prose feels less like a story and more like an attempt to string together Deep Beautiful Hard Hitting Poetic Lines that will look great as excerpts on booktok (might predate booktok but same vibe). It's all very Pretty and Haunting and Deep but feels devoid of real substance.
I really like The Iliad and The Odyssey in of themselves. They're fascinating historical texts that give a window into how 8th century BC Greeks told their stories, saw their world, interpreted their ancestors, etc. And genuinely I think these texts have 'good' characters, there's a lot of complexity and humanity to it.
WRT the Iliad- all of the main Achaeans are pretty fascinating, the one singular part where Briseis Gets To Talk and laments her situation is great, Achilles fantasizing that all of the Trojans AND the Achaeans die so he and Patroclus alone can have the glory of conquering Troy (wild), Achilles asking to embrace Patroclus' shade and reaching out for him but it's immaterial (and the shade being sucked back underground with a 'squeak' (the squeak kinda gets me it's disturbing and sad)), Hecuba talking about wanting to tear out Achilles' liver and eat it in a (taboo, exceptioally pointed) expression of rage and grief for his mutilation of her son's corpse, just one tiny line where the enslaved women performing ritual wailing for their dead captors are described as using it as an outlet to 'grieve for their own troubles' is heartrending, etc. A lot of grappling with anger and grief and the inevitability of death, a lot of groundwork laid for characters that could be very interesting when expanded upon in the framework of a conventional novel.
And Song Of Achilles really doesn't do much with all that. I know a lot of my gripes here are kind of just "It's different from the Iliad", I would have thought of it as mostly mediocre and forgettable rather than infuriating if it wasn't a retelling (and I DEFINITELY have strong biases here). But I think the ways in which it is different are less just a product of a retelling (of course there's going to be omissions and differences) and more a complete and utter disinterest in vast majority of its own subject matter, to the book's detriment. I think a retelling has a point when it EXPANDS on the source, or provides a NEW ANGLE to the source. This book doesn't Really do either, it just shaves off the complexity of its source material, renders the characters into a really boring archetype of a gay relationship, and gives very little else. Its content boils down to a middling tragic romance that has been inserted into the hollowed out defleshed skeleton of the Iliad.
Bottom line: I definitely would not be as mad about it if I wasn't familiar with the source material but I think it's fair to expect a retelling to Engage with/expand on its source, and I also think it's weak purely on its own merits. This book was set up to disappoint Me specifically.
#Sorry this turned into a 100000 word essay on The Iliad it can't be helped#I read Circe by the same author and thought it was like.. better? Definitely not great just less aggravating and kind of boring#Just rote 'you heard about this villainous woman from a Greek myth... Here's the REAL story' shit#It did have a few things I thought were good I remember it starting kind of strong and then just going limp for the remaining duration#I think part of it is that in that case she's expanding on a figure that Didn't have a whole lot of characterization in the source so#like. She had to actually Expand The Character#Again Silence of the Girls is the only Greek Mythology Retelling I have like....positive?.leaning positive? feelings towards#I've got BIG issues with it too but it does pretty much the exact opposite of everything I'm mad at SOA for and in some very#compelling ways (it's just that the author seems way more interested in Achilles and Patroclus than The Main Character Briseis#to the point of randomly starting to have Achilles POV interjections (which I thought were Good in of themselves but#really really really really really really really didn't need to be there) and then get kind of lampshaded by Briseis narrating 'I guess I#was trapped in Achilles' story the whole time lol!!!!!!')#It undermines the book on both a thematic level and just like. a construction level like it's real sloppy at times.#Also the Briseis POV sometimes has these like really out of place Author Mouthpiece Moments where she's very obviously#Stating The Point to the audience and it's like yeah we get it. We get it.#Wow in the scene were our mostly silent enslaved protagonist removes the gag from the mouth of a dead sacrificed girl as a#small but significant act of defiance and grieving in a book called 'Silence of the Girls' you inserted an ironic repeat of the line#'silence befits a woman'. in italics even. Thanks for that. I could not possibly have grasped the meaning of this scene if you didn't#spell it out for me like that. Thank you.#Actually hang on the only Greek mythology retelling I have unequivocally positive feelings for are the 'Minotaur Forgiving'#songs on 'This One's For The Dancer And This One's For The Dancer's Bouquet'. Fully love it. Like not just as songs I think it#does function well as a narrative and engages with and expands on the source in really beautiful and creative ways
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#i used to want to meet people who liked the same shit i did...... but fandom is literally the worst thing ever created#it's so limited and sanitized and what's popular most times doesn't align with my tastes or it's just plain bad#HCs this— aggravating fanart here 😮💨#interests are only best when you geek over it with like 2-5 people max who ALSO like it in almost the same exact ways you do#not too much more than you not too little or else it just gets so fucking tedious and annoying— like shut the fuck up damn#either way fandom is a can of worms and it's mostly rancid#yes this is about miles yes this is about how spider-verse has spilled over into everything and i hate it#i wish that movie was never created and it went away forever
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Hey if you’re still enjoying and engaging with Harry Potter in any capacity you can unfollow me 😊 please and thank you
Like. I get it. I was super into it as a kid too. I did not have the social context to pick up on the antisemitism or transphobia or sexism or fatphobia or bioessentialism or racism or anything else. I also picked up on surface-level language of Fighting Back Against Evil and ascribed my own values onto what that meant and thought we were all on the same page. I remember when the original kids who grew up with the books started becoming adult fans and picking up on the (blatant!) antisemitism and everybody was still mostly willing to give JKR the benefit of the doubt on it. (“She was writing kids books!” They said. “She didn’t know she was penning a global phenomenon! She picked a common literary trend in European fairy tales (antisemitic caricature) and didn’t examine it closely. It’s a mistake anyone could make,” we said. “She would probably do things differently now. After all, she word-of-god confirmed the vaguest hints she dropped that Dumbledore might be gay,” we said.) There was actually a span of several years where biases inherent in the actual real content of the Harry Potter series were coming to light and even the people pointing them out still seemed mostly to think it was an unfortunate accident.
That time has passed. Years ago! We are long past the first months of “maybe she doesn’t realize this seemingly-feminist tweet she liked was made by a noted TERF” and then “how could she not realize that these many veiled TERF-y things she’s retweeted have implications for the many queer fans of her work” and finally “oh wow okay JKR just dropped an entire transphobic manifesto on twitter. I guess the transphobia was the point.”
Yeah, there were a few months after that where people were still processing and still working through how they felt about Harry Potter and all of its flaws with the context of the now open transphobia of the creator. I was there for that. Remember how I was one of the kids who built it up into something noble and worthwhile based on my own beliefs about what messages it was probably trying to convey? Turns out it wasn’t trying to say any of those things, and when you take the time to examine all of the terrible shit that made its way into the text whether JKR intended it to be there or not, the whole series falls apart. It’s weird to discover that there’s a room in your house that’s rotten to the core, but eventually you figure out you can’t live like that, still going in there and holding your nose and pretending it’s still the same room you thought it was when the termites were only inside of the walls and hadn’t yet started chewing their way through the furniture. Because what’s going to happen is that they are going to infest the rest of your house. If you decide you can ignore transphobia and antisemitism and everything else just because you liked the color of the wallpaper, the rest of your principles are going to crumble too. You get rid of that fucking room. You put those books on a high shelf in the back of your closet behind other outgrown clothes and interests and you move the fuck on.
JKR uses the money made from her transphobic antisemitic children’s books to actively funding hate groups and to lobby for legislation that will and has actually affected the actual lives of trans people in an entire country. We are past the point of grieving something you were wrong about in childhood. Kids are wrong about a lot of stuff. You grow up and you learn new information and you change your behaviors based on it. You have to choose. It is transphobic to pretend there is not transphobia where there is. It is transphobic to support the work of someone who is using those funds to take rights from trans people with every fucking dollar. It is hateful to continue to engage positively with a story that at its very core is rooted in hate and bigotry and prejudice. You can choose to do all of those things but you cannot claim ignorance of them and you cannot choose those things and still pretend that choosing them upholds the values we convinced ourselves that Harry Potter stood for over a decade ago as uninformed children. You cannot choose to do those things and pretend to still support your trans and queer and Jewish neighbors. I do not want you in my neighborhood. Leave.
#mine#Harry potter cw#yeah I don’t want to see or think about this shit either and I’m sure most of my followers are on the same page of just like. let’s wipe it#from the public consciousness and do our best to just completely ignore it and forget it existed and in doing so take away JKRs platform and#influence and also stop the continued harm the series will do by propagated hateful biases in people who continue to read it#but despite heavily culling my feed over the course of the past several years and thankfully mostly not seeing HP fandom things anymore#I’ve been seeing a lot of responses today to people defending it and honestly I forget that there are still people out there doing that who#think they are just fine and normal fandom people with non-hateful and terrible interests and it makes me so angry#maybe more so because like. I was there too! I was annoyingly obsessed with Harry Potter from the ages of idk seven? up until whenever JKR#started being openly transphobic. I have so much fucking knowledge about this book series that will never leave my brain. and yeah it was#weird and hard to have to rethink things and realize that no actually it does feel bad and uncomfortable to continue to be a fan even#passively of these books. it was a big part of my childhood and several of my friendships. I fully get it. I was the weird kid also.#it was weird and hard to say oh actually this sucks and I don’t want to be a part of it anymore. but I did it! I got there! because it was#more important to care about real actual things and people than it is to fondly remember a book series for children.#and at the time it felt like maybe I did hang on a little longer than I could have and was a little later than some people and figuring out#my feelings and moving on from the whole thing. but it was still fucking years ago. and you’re still here?#because you like the color of the wallpaper in this shitty rotten broken down tacked on room? because we used to spend time there together?#buddy the room was giving us lead poisoning the whole time and the rest of us have accepted that and we are all outside doing other things.#you will find connection and community in so many places in your life. I promise. get the fuck out of that terrible awful room#and for gods sake stop bring out handfuls of mold you found under the floorboards and shoving it in our faces#nobody fucking wants this. we did it. we’re done.#so yeah I think I have an extra level of disdain because I know from personal experience that it’s not *that* fucking hard to care more#about real life trans people than about antisemitic children’s books.
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#sorry sorry I just woke up and im having yesterday-was-weird thought again#and they are going here so i don't have to talk to the person that they're um about yet#basically im glad that im in a good enough space now that um#someone ive ive had text-based sex with and uhhh sent an ill-advised video to in like oct when i was Feeling Bad™ and doing. hm. too much.#like 6 months post text-based sex/ill adised video now aha and we've not spoke at all since like january and that was 'how was hols'#they asked to meet up 'not for sex just as friends' or i forget exact wording but basically that#no-pressure museum not-a-date#and i said I'd think about it. because i am as everyone knows a fucking idiot.#basically im glad that im in a better place now than the last time someone like expressed an interest in me as a person#because while this did give me a day long wobble i didn't have a full weekend long actual panic about it#tho they are two v different situs#an ace poly friend asking to go out with me vs someone i uh virtually fucked aha um asking to meet up for (mostly) being-friends purposes#same several-hours-later 'oh god no what have i done bad bad bad no thank you actually no sorry i cant sorry' but less intense this time#but at least i only said ill think about it?#and not actually immediately said yes because it's nice to feel wanted#and then gone Maximum Regret™ because actually all of this is way too much i don't like it i don't want it thank you but im sorry no#weird. i guess i don't have such a high baseline stress level any more? since i'm not at uni n stuff#and someone over messages going no pressure you want to be irl friends (maybe fwb no pressure)? is um#is different. to someone irl going you want to go out acely? yeah? awesome lets hold hands here is the discord with a whole buncha people#i guess#but i am being equally aro-not-super-ace Autism™ about it aha#and i am. eventually. going to be like. thought about it and no sorry. eventually.#if they ask again#i am kinda hoping they'll leave it there and forget they asked so i don't have to navigate social stuff#im much better at navigating canals everybody leave me alone please thank you#(everybody over there leave me alone. y'know. you guys are fine.)
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Time to share my Instagram here I think
https://www.instagram.com/arttsuka?igsh=aG9vb3FjM3hwZmpr
I don't really post much there and most stuff are things I've posted here first but I do have an Instagram.
#I have a Twitter account too but I've never learned how to use it. I mostly made it to ensure I'll have my usual username#unfortunately some relatives follow me on Instagram making my experience there even worse. I can't even post my yaoi/yuri stuff :(#this account was my first social media account. made it back on 2020. not much engagement. never figured out how to make the algorithm like#me or what I'm posting. plus Instagram is very unfriendly to small accounts and if you don't make reels constantly you just. don't exist#the posting there is awful too. cant even post 2 pictof different sizes in the same post. one has to be cropped. stupid#at least I get to put funky songs on my posts to meke them more interesting#not art#text#Instagram#my drawings are way more appreciated here I think. although my 5 usual followers on Instagram are always in my heart as well#liking stuff I post from the randomest fandoms
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puppets bunker and ddos attacks have never been so much fun
#me holding my alliance like a squeaky toy and only getting one commend for it#I held you together. I raised u. I saved u and this is the thanks I get#but no I fuck around and find out for funsies and it’s like. six commends#anyway I was telling my friend like. I don’t have to think—#okay both healers die in alliance C and I rez one#I look back at my own alliance and half of everyone is dead. co-healer included#and then a bunch of them die again on the same mech#we almost die to the flyers not being killed bc the other alliances are dying#we get to the alliance split and our tank has an issue come up so he has to afk#so I’m keeping this ninja alive on a prayer#then half of the alliance dies again bc they went the wrong way w the arrow chaser aoes#that happened twice. there was a 30 percent boss health percentage difference going on#the icing on the cake tho was after the phase change in the final boss—boom ddos attack#so many people disconnecting. so many dying#alliance B lost everyone but the dps#it was carnage and I’m sitting here like. trying to keep everyone alive#tho like. Im not mad or upset about it tbh#it’s the sort of healer chaos where you’re sitting there juggling a bunch of stuff#that scratches the peanut of my brain#it’s much better chaos compared to CT raid chaos#mostly bc shield healers are the most fun at those levels compared to regen. to me at the very least#I have more resources at 80 w whm compared to 50 when shit hits the fan#but also pressing more than two buttons is more fun#CT just becomes utterly unbearable when you have people causing problems on purpose#when it is not an agreed upon clown time#ppl always talk about how bosses in nier have too much health when im like#im glad for it bc i like seeing mechanics#I love myths of the realm but when the final boss of the first raid can be killed before the most interesting mechanic is kinda#it’s kinda dogshit#owen talks
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i know a thousand other people have said this already, but im so tired of the fact that people just dont write good fanfiction about female characters or female relationships. all the 100k-word epics on ao3 are about m/m or m/f pairings, and i just mourn for all the life-changing stories we could have about female characters, the ones that fundamentally re-frame your way of thinking, the ones where the romance is slow burn that's hot and heavy and so, so achingly intimate that the page is bleeding with it.
where are those stories?
#and it's not just because there are more male characters in fictional media#it's mostly because we all care about men more#because a m/m pairing between two male background or side characters from a popular show will have AT LEAST QUADRUPLE the amount of content#than the content for a f/f ship between MAIN CAST members from that same show.#it just fucking sucks. and i wish i could change it.#it's not always enough to just write it yourself yknow?#thats not really the solution here#it would require a massive restructuring in how we prioritize female characters#especially in order to prioritize them separate from male characters.#the majority of shows or fandoms where a female main cast member is popular? their number one ship in fandom is with a male character.#can't escape it man :(#mine#fandom#i feel like we just dont like dedicating that much time to thinking about women—even fictional women.#it's not as fun or as interesting as thinking about men. and why is that hm?#i cant change what people like to write#but its always so devastating when i see an author who writes really really well#just stick to m/m stories. and theyre fantastic!! but id love to see what those writers could do with female characters too.#an account with like 8 different 50k fics about the same m/m pairing. AND while often writing a f/f pairing as a background pairing#(which is a whole other annoying issue that deserves its own post)#it just makes it even sadder that they dont dedicate that same energy toward imagining what it might look like for that background f/f#pairing to have a story of their own with just as much love and care.#(AND LIKE. YOU CANT EVEN TELL ME ITS JUST CUZ THE CHARACTERS ARE CHARACTERIZED DIFFERENTLY#LIKE TO SAY THAT THE F/F PAIRING JUST WOULDNT BE AS INTERESTING BECAUSE THEYRE MORE STABLE OR NORMAL OR NOT AS CODEPENDENT OR SOME SHIT#LIKE NOT ONLY IS THAT JUST SEXIST. IT'S ALSO HYPOCRITICAL#'CAUSE YOU'RE OUT HERE GIVING WHOLE NEW FANON PERSONALITIES TO THESE MALE CHARACTERS#FUCKING. STEVE HARRINGOTN AND EDDIE MUNSON FROM STRANGER THINGS WOULD NOT IN A MILLION YEARS DATE IN THE SHOW.#SO TO WRITE SOLID FANFICTION WITH GOOD CHEMISTRY YOURE GONNA HAVE TO CHANGE THEIR PERSONALITIES A BIT.#AND THAT'S NOT A BAD THING!!! BUT IT MAKES IT ALL THE MORE FRUSTRATING WHEN YOU JUST...DON'T PUT AS MUCH EFFORT#INTO THE FEMALE CHARACTERS. JUST CUZ YOU DON'T LIKE THEM AS MUCH.
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i get distracted so easily but i promise i'll get more done ! eventually aaaa 🫶🏼
#🌙.rambles#i find it so amusing how wnvr i have a new interest i always get into it so deeply#a week ago i listened to sm architects songs n searched up sm lyrics n read articles too n now this week it's#switched to the 1975 n i'm listening to sm of their songs too n reading even more articles n watching stuff n YEAH N#oh dear. i shld be doing my assignments due like 24 hours from now n they're easy n i'm nearly done#that's the thing i'm srs nearly done but i keep on getting distracted 😭 n then other stuff too i wna do but forget hflkasdjfd#can't blame me though bcs isn't there just so much to life? n other than all these responsibilities n. survival i suppose. in this society#i just want to live n. learn everything. understand as much as i can and be understood.#be at peace w all the contradictions in life.. 'always' is never possible but i do know i'll endlessly keep on going on until my end#sorry. that doesn't really make sense i just contradicted myself 💀 theres rlly just sm n. it's weird bcs.. i've rlly known extremes so well#like w apollo i have a twin i know how it is to have. such a deep and close relationship with another person. we're like#familial soulmates fr so ik how to direct my energy so.. yk yeah so IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN BUT#maybe a better comparison is. yk when i love something i'm super passionate about it. obvious i have phases here n then but#i have. a wide range of interests but. arghhh no not quite that as well. so.. the range n that intensity? coexisting?#n it's overwhelming often bcs it's too much. n in the past trying to do more than i could rlly drained me like. sm at the same time#but then yk that time for me where i mostly just played ffxiv. uh. help i don't know how to say it n then i forgot what i was gna write#ah. it's just a lot. i really can't write it enough. such is one of the limits of being human#but.. the strong thought i have of how these stuff make more important things more meaningful is just#at the same time there's. another thought that battles it w a similar intensity. n i feel too deeply i think too much of it#but if you were to ask me how i was doing right now i'd say. perhaps stressed yes but i'm doing alright right now. actually maybe not#HELP NO I'M NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE I'M CONFUSING MYSELF W MY OWN WORDS 😭 dw tho i am fine just rather frustrated with time#i want to do so much but yk i have these priorities that i need to do.. i mean. not really 'need'. but.#ah i just love thinking of how life is in relation to society n its people n then w. i forgot how to say it.. but yk. just the universe#it's so heavy thinking about these heavy things so often. the intense desire to understand n be understood..#to learn and to be learned. or maybe these songs r making me think of how. there's just so much. in life n death n everything#there's so much i don't know n again n again i keep on saying that while there's so much i don't know in every single aspect#there's.. people that r specifically one of my greatest weaknesses w just how unpredictable we are. i love it though but at the same time#it's uh. yeah. thinking of time n the past n present n future n how it's filled with so much is something that i want to#i want to take all of it in but it's also so overwhelming n i'm just at odds with my own self rn but i'm fine#words aren't enough honestly. but i want to convey it somehow. so i'll do what is right for me. in time.
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watched the second full scene released from kfp 4 and it is significantly lowering my expectations
#like ok another fart joke#one thing i liked about the first 3 is they mostly stray away from low brow humor like that#but then theres one in most of the trailers theyve been putting out#but with that while i dont love it ik that theyve kinda made trailers that make the movie look much more immature than it actually is for..#...all the previous ones#theyre great movies but you wouldnt know from the trailers#theyre marketing the movies to elementary schoolers#which granted is the target audience so its smart from a business perspective but the movies have a lot more to them#and also from the clips we see even tho i dont love the joke theres more to it than haha fart funny#unlike the one from this scene#but yeah all that aside the scene just goes on too long#like the concept of po meditating but it not working could have been funny but its so dragged out#and idk not a fan of how they depicted his inner voices#its just kinda uncreative i feel like they could have gone in a more interesting visual direction with it#i feel like the previous 3 movies were really good at that sort of thing#and im kinda worried that the visual creativity that i love so much about the series wont really be here#like they always seem to come up with interesting visual styles to show things happening within characters imaginations to differentiate...#...it from reality#but here its in the same textured 3d animation style that the rest of the movie is in#but yeah i actually really liked the first scene they released of po meeting zhen#so yeah overall i have super mixed feelings about this movie given what dreamworks has been showing us#i really want it to be good#i havent completely given up on it but theres just a lot of questionable choices being made
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natural devotion
ੈ✩ synopsis: gojo finds you, his ex-wife, in a sketchy dive bar. he almost doesn't recognize you.
ੈ✩ cw: smut (minors dni, ageless + blank blogs will be blocked), previous arranged marriage, ex-husband!gojo, clanleader!gojo, rough bathroom sex, semi-public sex, drunk sex, oral, fingering + penetration, light choking, gojo is.... weird idk how to explain. he's just strange and cold and possessive and so odd
ੈ✩ wc: 3.2k
ੈ✩ a/n: literally nobody asked for this. also it's unedited. sorry
Gojo thinks he sees a ghost when he sees you.
At least, he thinks it’s you.
You don’t see him yet, so he takes the liberty to scan you over more thoroughly. You’re not wearing anything like the simple, modest attire he remembered you donning around his estate. Instead, you’re in a form-fitting crop top and the tiniest mini skirt Gojo has ever seen. He’s not sure if it even classifies as a skirt.
Interesting.
He takes a breath as he sits down next to you, interrupting your conversation with the bartender to offer his card. You turn to look at him and you laugh.
“Put hers on my tab,” Gojo says.
“Always the gentleman.”
“You know I’ll always take care of you. Even if we aren’t married anymore.”
You could scoff at that, but you decide to be polite. He’s as candid as he’s always been. It used to humiliate you, but you aren’t the same docile little wife you used to be. You also realize his gesture could be interpreted as tender, which isn’t something you were ever used to in your marriage.
He was a cold man and it was a marriage of convenience.
Or perhaps he was only cold to you. You would watch how he would interact at social gatherings and clan parties, his charisma infecting entire rooms. Toothy grins that shone as brightly as his hair. Always loud, animated, and magnetic.
To you, he was mostly indifferent.
He was never outwardly mean, but he was constantly occupied with missions. It almost felt as if you weren’t married at all. You enjoyed speaking to him when he was around, though. There were moments when you could almost picture yourself being his friend, but then he would be away and come back cold.
When you asked for a divorce, he complied without a blink. Even after you were free from becoming an incubator for the Gojo clan’s next heir, something in your chest ached at how easily Gojo signed the papers.
And now, he’s tipsy in a bar with you and more tuned into your presence than ever. When he looks at you, there’s a lingering that you convince yourself you’re hallucinating.
Small talk with him is odd. He’s much more complicated than that, but here you are, discussing trivial things right now. If he’s remarried yet (he hasn’t). If you honed in on your cursed technique (you have).
It’s terribly odd. Like talking to a stranger that you’ve only met in a dream.
“I thought you’d have better taste in bars,” he drawls, sipping a Cosmo. It was annoyingly endearing, the way he wasn’t the kind of man to have a glass of whiskey despite acting like it.
“I could say the same to you.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not a regular. This place is full of perverts.”
“Does that include you?”
Gojo grins. “Not like some of these guys. You would’ve gotten roofied if I didn’t sit down. And your outfit certainly isn’t helping.”
“I’m going to take that as a compliment,” you scoff.
“It is one. You’re a sight to behold. Never saw you in anything like this when we were married.”
“Your clan would have my head. I assume you would, too,” you mutter.
His eyes are taking you in, flickering between your face and your body. It would make you uncomfortable if you weren’t already three beers in.
“I wouldn’t be angry. I just don’t promise that I would’ve kept my hands to myself.”
You stare at him in disbelief.
“I think this is the most forward you’ve ever been to me.”
“You were so timid back then,” he smirks. He places a hand on your knee, his thumb tracing the skin. “Such a nervous little girl. There were times I assumed you were cheating on me, the way you were so rigid with me.”
You remember being obedient and quiet. Perhaps rigid, but you had only followed his lead, pushing yourself away from him just because he was doing it to you first. You know you shouldn’t apologize or feel guilty for your lack of intimacy with him, but the way he teases you makes your face heat up.
“I wouldn’t cheat on you,” you frown.
“Good,” he smiles. It almost seems genuine. “I wouldn’t have let anyone have you, anyway.”
Your eyes widen in slight surprise.
Why did you let me divorce you, then?
His fingers are tracing circles into the skin of your thigh absentmindedly. The flutter in your chest threatens to pull on your lungs when you notice.
“You’re so different now,” he notes.
“Not really.”
“I don’t just mean the way you look, by the way. Your eyes are sharper. Posture better. Not a meek little thing anymore, huh?”
You could flush at how he belittles you, but the praise gets to your head.
“Huh. You’re the opposite. You look and act the same as when I last saw you.”
He laughs. “I always liked when you talked back, you know. Anyone ever told you can be a bit of a brat?”
You raise a brow. “Yes.”
His breath smells sweet. Tongue like a candy apple from the sugared liquor in his glass, you were sure. You don’t wince when he gets closer to you.
“Yeah? And how do they deal with it?”
You bite the inside of your cheek before entertaining him.
“Everyone’s a little different,” you mumble.
You miss the flicker of jealousy in his eyes. You’re too distracted by the shape of his mouth.
“What do you think I’d do?” Gojo tilts his head as if he’s taunting you.
“I don’t– what?” you stammer.
“You’re a smart girl. Use your imagination.”
He grins again. Everything about him is sickeningly sweet. It’s not a side of him you’ve ever seen directed at you. There’s almost a fondness there. You would only see it before in rare moments, usually when Gojo was a little drunk. You suppose he could be drunk now and you’re almost grateful despite yourself. He would always get a little handsy, especially if you were dressed up for his clan events. He’d have his hand only on your leg, crawling up the skirt of your dress. During times like those, he felt like a real husband.
They were always such fleeting moments. Even years after the divorce, certain memories could still make you dizzy.
Your mouth goes dry. You compose yourself.
“Sorry. I, uh, have to use the bathroom.”
“Gonna use your imagination in there?” Gojo jokes.
“Something like that,” you mutter back, if only to humor him.
You don’t realize the hole you’ve put yourself in once you utter the words. The invitation you’ve given him. Unfortunately, you’re also still reeling from the conversation, so you forget to lock the door of the handicapped bathroom.
To be fair, Gojo did try to convince himself not to follow you for the entire three minutes you were gone. But he’s never been that good of a man. It was your fault for being so damn tempting in the first place. But he had tried to be good even in the very beginning – he was polite, kept his hands to himself. Bought you anything you wanted.
He even let you leave him. After seeing you tonight, he now knows it was a grave mistake.
“Satoru.”
“Hey.”
He closes the door gently and locks it. Leans against the door with his arms crossed as if waiting for you to do a magic trick from the way he’s looking at you expectantly.
“Why are you–”
“Don’t pretend you didn’t want me to follow you,” he tuts.
Okay. Fine. He had a point.
“This must be exciting for you, yeah? Seeing me lose it over you?”
You can’t form words. Despite the fire in your belly, you aren’t completely sure what his angle is here. He steps forward and backs you into the wall. He could pin you to it, easily.
His hands rest on your thighs, riding up the length of the pathetic excuse you call a skirt.
“You’re trying to kill me with this,” he huffs. “Just making everything so… difficult.”
He almost sounds disappointed in you. There is a rush of desperation flooding your brain like a knee-jerk reaction. You can feel your heart about to burst.
“Sorry,” you mumble. You don’t even know what you’re apologizing for.
“I was really trying to behave, too,” Gojo sighs. “Wouldn’t want to scare my ex-wife away with how much I missed her. Christ.”
“You– what?”
“Yeah, baby. How could I not miss this face?” He strokes your cheek. You’re convinced he’s been possessed by someone else, maybe. Mistaken you for a different stranger.
Your knees are already going weak. He leans in to whisper in your ear. The hand stroking your cheek holds your chin, squishing your face slightly.
“Didn’t you miss me?”
“I… I did,” you whisper.
“Good,” he smiles softly. “I like knowing you still think about me.”
The proximity is driving him insane, but he’s always liked to play with you. Sometimes he would be a little mean on purpose, but never enough to be considered bullying. He just enjoyed watching you squirm back then — it was adorable how dedicated you were to playing the part of a doting wife. He wanted to see you crack, maybe beg for his attention, but you were always too stubborn.
His cock throbs knowing that you’re putty in his hands now. Melting against him, soft and willing like a blooming flower. God, he needs a taste. He nibbles on your earlobe and grins when he feels your breath hitch.
“I kind of wanted to just take you right there on the bar. Let all those creeps see how good I’d fuck you.”
Your eyes flutter rapidly at his words. He has pinned you to the wall now. You’re close enough to feel him press against you, bullet-hard. A little more teasing and he’d pull the trigger.
He kisses down your neck, mapping it out with his teeth. He’s barely touched you and you feel like an elastic band about to snap.
“S-Satoru–”
“Yeah, sweetheart?”
You pant lightly. You’re preening into his touch. Lightning makes roots down the center of your spine. You forget what you wanted to say.
“What is it? You want me to take care of you?” He pulls back this time to look you directly in the eyes. His expression softens just a second at the lovestruck look in your eyes. Tender and glistening.
You nod slowly.
“I need your words, sweetheart.”
“Yes,” your voice shakes. “I want you to take care of me.”
He hums, pleased. The desire in his face is so new to you despite having been his wife. He’d only fucked you once before, on your anniversary. You were too tempting and he, admittedly, was tired of punishing himself by not allowing himself the pleasure of having you.
He could see you now, sprawled on the tatami mat, how you smelled like cherry blossoms. Flashes of images reeling in his mind, every little sound you made. He’d fucked his fist to the memory of it all too often after you left him.
He felt honored to have the real thing in his hands right now.
He kisses you like he needs you to breathe. You feel blood rush to your ears, the music from the bar muffled. All you could hear were the sound of his grunts, the slickness of his tongue in between your lips.
He spins you around abruptly, bending you over the sink. Hand on your throat, teeth in the tendon of your shoulder.
“Look at how pretty you are,” he rasps.
You whimper, feeling his hard cock rut against the curve of your ass. He laughs when he swipes his hand underneath your skirt, the fabric of your underwear already wet.
You gasp sharply when he eases a finger in without any resistance. He swallows the sounds you make, craning your neck towards his face with his hand while the other works another finger in. Your stomach flips, all boiling heat when he curves his fingers in just the right spot. As if he’d done it a dozen times.
“Dirty girl,” Gojo mumbles. “Getting off to her ex-husband's fingers all the way up in her cunt. In a fucking dive bar bathroom, too.”
When you whine, he only scissors into you harder and laughs. It kills you how much it turns you on, even while knowing he’s being cruel. You would fantasize about it all the time back then. Needed him to make you a real wife so you could forget yourself. You close your eyes, groaning.
“S-Satoru, I–”
“You’re not gonna cum just from that, are you?” You hear a grin in his voice.
“Fuck, please —”
His fingers leave you, making you whine in protest. The sopping mess of your arousal trickles down your inner thighs.
“Not yet, baby. Want you to cum in my mouth.”
Gojo drops to his knees and flips up your skirt, pulling your soiled underwear down your legs at the same time. You cover your mouth to keep from moaning when you feel his tongue prodding at your cunt.
“I always regret not tasting you on our anniversary,” he murmurs, his voice rough. “You’re sweeter than I imagined.”
“Imagined?” you squeak out.
“You thought I stopped wanting you just because I signed a piece of paper?”
“I didn’t – oh, fuck —”
You’re distracted by the plunge of his tongue into cunt. He sucks at the hood of your clit and you feel yourself jerk involuntarily. He’s fond of your sensitivity. He used to want to take advantage of it.
You let a particular loud whine and he hums, lapping up every drop of your arousal. He sucks at your clit in earnest while he brings his fingers back to you, immediately reaching for the spot he knows will make you see stars.
You cum so hard that you nearly bang your head against the sink faucet. Your head is spinning from the impact of it, dizzied on the high that came from a clan head in your cunt. The alcohol wasn’t helping.
He’s quick to get to his feet and kiss you so you can taste yourself. He tugs your hair and you arch for him like a taut bowstring.
“Feel how much I want you, baby?” You can feel his dick against you, something like shame flooding your system at how much of a mess you were. Getting his nice slacks all damp with your slick.
“Please,” you beg.
He doesn’t think twice once he hears your plea. He unbuckles his belt quickly and slides down his pants. He collects your wetness in between your folds to stroke his dick.
It feels like he’s gouging your stomach when he fucks into you. Bigger than any man you’ve had, still. Gojo likes that he was your first and he’s decided now that he will be your last.
“Tight,” Gojo mutters. You know it’s a compliment but your face heats up nonetheless. His hand around your throat is only more confirmation of his want.
He smacks your ass with his other hand, looking down to admire the reddish mark he left. Brute. He grins when you squeeze him tighter after it. He notices your eyes struggling to stay open and gives a particularly hard thrust just to see your jaw go slack. Eyes in half-moons, boiled by the heat of your thumping heart. Blood pumping to every soft spot in your body, your brain.
“Satoru,” you gasp.
“Yeah, baby?”
“F-Feels so…”
You inhale sharply, eyes widening when his hand snakes down to pinch your clit. Your hair’s wrapped his knuckles now. A ribbon around a wedding gift. He liked when you used to wear ribbons around your neck. Liked imagining you all wrapped up for him.
Satoru was so beautiful when he did anything, but he was angelic when he was fucking you. Cheeks all carmine, mouth wide open. It was something you wanted to get used to.
“You keep clenching, Jesus,” he grunts. Teeth at your nape, at your shoulder. Blue eyes staring at you in the mirror.
“Satoru, I’m close,” you whine.
“Hold it.”
“I– I don’t know if I can.”
“You can. You’re a good girl, even if you are dressed like a little slut.”
You whimper at that, your cunt pulsating at his words. Muscles strung out like a wet rag. You nearly cry when he pulls out of you, manhandling you to turn. He picks you up to set you down on the cold sink counter, the porcelain soothing the bruising on your ass.
He groans as he pumps himself slowly, admiring the way his tip catches on your entrance. You squirm a little, impatient, and he kisses you. It feels invasive, almost, from how rough he plays with you, sucks on your tongue. He takes the opportunity to ram into you, enjoying the way the pitched whine rolling out of your mouth gets tasted by him.
“Missed my cock, didn’t you?” he smirks. “Still the best you’ve ever had, right?”
“Y-Yes,” you sob.
His gut fucking melts.
Your mascara was getting smudged, not smudgy like he’d see in porn, but blending in the rim of your wet eyes. Dew-drop lashes.
“Feels best like this. Wanna see your face when you cum for me,” he pants.
Your hands are on his shoulders, clinging onto him. He’s so much bigger than you, especially like this — your legs spread, his big hands gripping your thigh hard enough to hurt a little. You moan. Your voice sounds girlier than usual, wounded. You don’t recognize yourself.
“Oh, it’s too deep—”
“No such thing,” Satoru snickers. “You’re – hah – so good at this. Good girl.”
“S-Satoru, it’s too–”
“You love it. Tell me.”
“F-fuck — I,” – you struggle mindlessly, voice strained – “I love it…”
“I know, baby,” he coos. Kisses your forehead, which is hilariously domestic and gentle considering the mean pace of his hips.
He grabs your chin and makes you look up at him. You’re so fucked out. He’d ask you to take a picture if he wasn’t so focused on making you cum.
“You want to cum, don’t you?” he taunts.
“Please, please, please—”
“Okay, honey,” he chuckles. “You can cum now.”
Your moan is louder than expected as your cunt squeezes him impossibly tight. You can feel all the warmth rush out of you. You really are a sight to behold, which is why Satoru cums immediately after you. You feel like you might pass out.
He kisses you all over your face, mumbling praise as you come back to your body. It’s all most nonsensical, but you swear you hear I love you. Your half-lidded eyes close as he envelops you with his arms, mascara streaking his shoulder.
He opens his mouth to say something but gets interrupted by a succession of loud knocks.
“Other people need to piss!”
Satoru scoffs, pulling away from you to slide his pants back up and buckle them. He mouths something to you that you don’t understand and leans down to grab your underwear to give to you.
“Just a second!” Satoru yells. “My wife is sick, had a bit too much to drink. Almost done.”
“Wife?” you whisper, bewildered.
Satoru eyes soften in amusement. “Sorry. Force of habit.”
#gojo smut#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x you#gojo x reader#jjk smut#jjk#jujustu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk x you#ree.writing
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Deleted tiktok off my phone 🙌🏻 let’s hope it lasts
#i should never have downloaded it in the first place it is so RANCID#but my dumb ass was drawn in by lesbian thirst traps. which is a terrible reason to do anything#anyway i’ve obviously known i should delete it but i like serotonin and i like rewatching old videos#plus i’ve gaslit myself into thinking i’m actually going to try ✨life hacks✨ and recipes i see on there#which i never actually do! i just scroll and rot my brain#i feel like it drives my shopping addiction and it’s just way too easy to waste too much time on there#plus a lot of the videos i’m seeing lately are actual dogshit…. i keep getting those reddit stories being read by an autogenerated voice#even though i click ‘not interested’ every single time. and the rest of my fyp is all repeats of the same sound or filter or meme#just because i happened to like ONE video using that. they contribute sooo hard to genuinely funny memes being worn out#because they just bombard you until you’re more than sick of it and then Keep bombarding you until there’s no more#because everyone’s sick of it and no one’s making any more content of that#oh the other thing i keep getting is women’s stories about being stalked/followed/harassed by men; or their bad dates#or reactionary white woman being like ‘someone tried to traffic me in the target parking lot!’ (no they didn’t)#and i just… i experience too much anxiety as it is. plus missing white woman syndrome is stupid#the other thing i keep getting is tweet compilations which i’ve mostly seen here anyway#like give me vine energy or i’m leaving#i also deleted a logic puzzle game i’m wasting way too much time on. i just want to READ BOOKS without thinking ‘just one more video’#‘just one more level’ and then hating myself an hour later#anyway. wish me luck?? i don’t necessarily need it gone Forever; i just don’t want to waste my summer on my phone#personal
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