#mostly just bc he had an excuse to be terrible

[icharchivist]

Not sure if Bubs would be into Halloween, but imagine him getting the Christmas summon; you better give him your presents or he will break your bones

HELPP

yeah he probably wouldn't be much into holiday spirits in general unless forced into it

for Halloween i'm sure he would hate it, but if people bother him enough trying to trick him he's going to overdo it and "give it back ten folds". "so you think you can trick ME? you can't HANDLE tricking mE". No treat for Halloween.

but for Christmas this is so funny. like in Granblue it's not celebrating the birth of anything so it's just a cosy holiday, but, i could imagine Beelzebub look at it and go "i don't see why we're supposed to give ~each other~ gifts. Obviously you should all give all of your offering to me as your God. Now i've decided this holiday would be dedicated to Me. It's giving Beelzebub Gifts day." and he gets very mad when you imply otherwise.

so this is. risky.

[enden-k]

i know some fuckers reupload my art without a care in the world, im fighting w this for years now and it was a major reason why i deleted my previous art blog and stopped posting art for a long time. i dont hunt the internet to catch everyone tho, even if it pisses me off greatly.

BUT if anyone ever sees my oc art reuploaded, let me know so i can deal with this. one of my biggest fears is people stealing my ocs/worlds or claiming them, i saw that happen to someone once and its scary as hell. i wont tolerate that w my ocs. literally fuck you.

and regarding the AI ask just now; please dont use my OCs for things such as roleplay or anything.

also i rb sm abt it and thoughts its obvious - especially as an artist - what my stance on AI is and what a deep hatred i have for it. do NOT use my things for ANY of that shit.

and, in general while were on the topic of AI bc i see this SO OFTEN: you cant be anti AI and then turn around and use AI writing programs, its all scraped and based on stolen shit. please protect writers as much as artists and VAs.

[pumpkinsy0]

Ok now can we get head cannons of Curly being vulnerable?

accidentally made this an essay🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

•curlys actually more emotional than ppl think!! hes on the same level of emotional as angela but angela gets played off as more emotional cause yknow, shes a girl, misogyny n allat jazz

•the problem w curly being emotional is that it ALWAYS translates into anger, and that pushes ppl away which yes is what curly wants, but that means nobody rlly checks in on him to see, when it comes to tim and angela theyre usually part of the reason y hes mad so they just avoid each other as well

•pony was the exact same!! just stayed clear of curly till he calmed down, but as he got closer to curly, he realized he cant do that no more, he’d b a dickhead for that, she he just stayed while curly vented his frustrations, like ALLLLL of them, when curlys mad he tells u EVERYTHING

•and the more pony listened, the more he was just thinking “damn this guy is emotional as hell”, he’d never say it to curly bc ofc curlys gonna deny it, so this is just an observation pony keeps to himself

•HOWEVER COMMA!!!! there was this one time curly wasnt just angry, but also sad!! and it was one of those arguments about ponys #substanceabuse issues w the pills OoOoOo and theres a lot of things ponys willing to sit through, curly trying to tell him what to do about hiss issues??? aint one of em, pony ends up getting defensive and it just becomes this huuugggeee arguement

•what made curly more vulnerable than usual was that he brought up his mom. curlys thee biggest mana’s boy u will EVER meet, yet if u notice, he barely brings her up and thats bc he knows she has her issues and THINKS hes protecting her by not letting ppl know but the truth is damn near everyone knows, hes just protecting himself atp

•curly can “handle” one person w terrible substance abuse issues, but TWO???hes crackin, dawg!! he doesnt like his issues staring back at him from all sides he does what he can to ignore his shitty home life and he’ll b dannnneeeeddddd if he turns out like his parents ESPECIALLY his “father” and pony a reflection of his mom like,,,,no,,,

•now that time, it was curly who was avoiding pony, and it was for a considerable amount if time too, like a week and a half. pony would ask around for where he was and everyone just said curly was busy, which he was!! but we all know its just to have an excuse🙄🙄

•to tim and angela, they knew curly was upset about SOMETHING but hes always upset so they werent too worried at first. they started to worry when curly wasnt coming home as much and that got their gears turning,,,what the hell happened,,,

•look it didnt take a rocket scientist to find out pony and curly werent talking so that was a great place to start asking. tim came over to question pony and pony had to come clean about the argument and his own problems, as soon as pony mentioned their mom tim just sighed gearing up to give pony a long (it was 2 minutes but pony thought that was too long bc hes face to face w tim, lmao) talk

•the only person who could actually talk to curly atp was angela, and after tracking the guy down, they just talked. mostly about nothing, just say down smoking to calm curlys nerves. was until angela said he should come home and curly begrudgingly agreeing, but he did come home.

•beyond that, tim and angela have no clue what happened between pony and curly. they didnt force them to talk to each other or anything but they know they DID talk. only reasons y they know that is bc curly started talking about pony again and coming home at night, again

[puckpocketed]

get ready for avs essays, babeyyyyyyy!!! 

so i’m actually completely fine with it if you don’t find nate compelling but since you bring him up, i will start with him. 

the thing about fortnite gamergirl nathan mackinnon is that he is like. very talented and reasonably conventionally attractive and also soooooooo cringefail. he’s the league mvp and a stanley cup champion and he has a gorgeous fiancée and he’s rich and he’s smashing through joe sakic’s franchise records left and right.... and he’s succchhhhhh a loser (affectionate). he’s uncomfortable all the time. he doesn’t know how to act. he’s pretty private but also he’ll just Say Things that are way too personal with the exact same tone he’d use to. i dunno. tell you what brand of sneakers he wears. he’ll also reveal things about the most private man in sports, squidney crocsby, that are way too personal—and sid apparently is fine with this because he continues to be boybestfriends and next door neighbors with the guy.

everyone thinks he is soooooo serious alllll the time (in spite of the fact that he is goofy and silly when he’s out with the boys) but it’s just a combination of a) his face just looks like that b) he’s just intense in general. he’s equally unchill about how much he fucking loves the boys and how much he loves his tiny dog. and c) mostly we see him when he is at his fucking job? and when he’s at work it’s All Business. don’t make him do dumb social media shit or ask him stupid questions about whether or not he thinks preseason is too long, he’s! busy! come back when it’s puppy day. 

he’s so focused on being working harder and being better and improving everything about his game and yet!!! he cannot win a faceoff 💖 he trains with squidney all summer! every year!! you would think he could learn something from the guy. but no, he doesn’t even seem to try to win faceoffs sometimes. he’s also. not ? defensively responsible? i do not exactly expect him to play like kopitar, here. i don’t even think he should waste all his energy backchecking; like, that’s not the thing we need him for. but idk from a guy who is sooooo fucking smart about hockey, a little more situational awareness would be nice. just a thought! like, if he wanted to be better at things, maybe he could get better at the things he’s terrible at? (but whatever, this gives me more of an excuse to push my ondřej pavel -> big boys’ club agenda). like. nate is an elite 1C—except that he doesn’t forecheck and doesn’t defend and one of his wingers (jonathan drouin) is actually the playmaker and the other winger (mikko rantanen) has to take all his faceoffs for him 🥰 

his one and only love language is trying to convince the boys to come play with him (jo, jack eichel, mitch marner, jo again). he doesn’t like late games, because he doesn’t nap. and he doesn’t nap because he can’t sleep during the day. and he can’t sleep during the day because he drinks too much water, so he has to piss too much. babygirl, why would you volunteer this information 💕 he tells people to call him “the dogg” and then they do. he says awkward sentences that rewire my brain. he should be cool, but he isn’t!!!!! he extremely fucking isn’t.

this is my natemac thesis, you can take it or leave it (said with love!!!!! there are other players i am significantly more invested in getting people on board with). i think many other people can speak more eloquently than i can about everything impressive he does on the ice. but he’s one of my special little guys bc of everything else

i have no idea what to do with all this <3 I'm here because he just bonked my ducks into oblivion - im hoping this cures his dogboy depression (it was becoming so wretched that it had started leaking into my curated feeds) - and it made me think of this ask which i've been marinating. hello!!

fortnite legend natemack is the exact age to have grown up in the heyday of COD xbox lobbies, do u ever think about that . i think about that now. do u think natedogg is his gamertag. rpf people are you writing gamergirl natemack AUs yet? has that happened yet? (sorry i don't. i don't have any clue what tropes are popular. im just throwing stuff at the wall <3)

nate is an elite 1C—except that he doesn’t forecheck and doesn’t defend and one of his wingers (jonathan drouin) is actually the playmaker and the other winger (mikko rantanen) has to take all his faceoffs for him 🥰

^craziest description of a 1C i've ever heard AND the most compelling he has ever been.

also thank u for not makin some kind of eating disorder joke amongst all this. it IS that serious (to ME) and people do this so much and i think they're not as funny as they think they are <3 (<- WHO SAID THAT!!!)

MYE two cents looking thru a writer/narrative lens: just, like, skimming whatever the hell comes up about him, he strikes me as someone who is very sincere. i get that everyone calls it "intensity" but i think sincerity has its own power. idk. i think he's very brave for wanting what he wants so transparently and wholly. <3 fortnite legend nathan mackinnon you are in my crosshairs......

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

WHAT TERRIBLE THINGS ARE YOU DOING TO MY BUG [mallrad] [i saw ur repost of nhw mal lmao]

I NEEEEED INFROMATION RN PLEASE FEEL FREE TO INFODUMP AS MUCH AS YOU WANT PLEASE

HI KOI!!!!!!!!!! sorry this has taken me forever to answer ive had a busy work week ouagh. but its MAL TIME NOW. well. technically amity time bc im gonna talk about the setting in general because i love it. whatever go my scarab!

IM GOING TO ANSWER THIS ASSUMING U KNOW WHAT NHW IS. IF YOU DONT IM SO SORRY but also the masterpost is HERE which has basically all the context u need i think.

awesome place to start is reading This Post because it basically lays out the essentials for amity in general and gives you a good idea of their whole deal (theres also this one. which is a joke. but its my favorite ever and i think you will appreciate the clarence)

since i mostly ran thru the basics of their plot timeline super quick in that post i can get into details in this one :] putting a lot of it under the cut so its not 12 miles long hehe

i really like leaving a lot of the amity stuff to be mystery partially because it will literally NEVER come up in the "canon timeline" or whatever since it all happened x number of years ago and partially because giving it an air of mystery makes it seem more myth/legend than anything concrete. which!! since its supposed to be the nhw equivalent of the spirit world i love the idea that its vague and mysterious and hard to comprehend that the Chaos Zone (colloquial name for the quarantine area around the city where they keep the trickster trapped) used to be like. a relatively peaceful idyllic city with only a small handful of capes and not a lot of action. that being said i do in fact have clam flavored brain worms which means i cannot help thinking about clarence and mal in so much detail that is SO unnecessary to the rest of the story other than serving to make what happened to them more tragic.

ANYWAY. all that being said that is my excuse for not having any solid ideas on mals trigger event. ive kind of played around with the idea that he's a case 53 (cauldron dropped him into the city mid-ghoul transformation and full of amnesia so he had. basically no identity before then and no idea where or who or what he was so he just kind of started breaking things) but honestly i havent thought abt it all that much bc its just not that important. either way. he started out as an unaffiliated rogue/villain. as ghoul, he was in his brute form like 90% of the time and behaved pretty much like a less cannibalistic venom. just kind of like. causing damage just because he can. really the ONLY two capes in amity at the time were Whisperer (clarence) and Afterlife (duck) (<< first duck mention btw!). Afterlife is a lot more apathetic to things like this (hes old. hes tired. hes survived WELL past the cape life expectancy but theres no real protocol for capes retiring because usually they just. die. so hes still here) and he really only responds to things he deems an emergency, and some rando causing property damage isnt enough to put ghoul on his radar. so that left Whisperer to deal with him. his powers are very nonviolent non-confrontational so his way of dealing with villains is to use his. basically tranquilizer powers to get them to stop doing whatever theyre doing (its a good thing amity is peaceful. this is NOT a. super great awesome offensive power and he can get very easily overwhelmed against more than one target). so he does this to Ghoul and since his he's a new cape and is not fully under control of his changer powers yet, his brute form drops as soon as hes calm and hes just. some sad disheveled looking guy.

so clarence sees this guy who is just. so incredibly lost. whether thats because of case 53 amnesia or like. post-trigger, post-changer state disorientation, hes just. like. pathetic. hes not being a villain because hes evil hes just doing things because he doesnt know what else to do. so clarence, who is way too kindhearted for his own good, offers to help him. and mal, who has probably never given this sort of softness in his life. just immediately fucking melts into it. of course he accepts that offer he has nothing else to do! he doesnt really care about being a hero or a villain or anything like that (having a morality crisis is boring and a waste of time) but this man is literally glowing and offering him a hand to hold and a purpose and something other than just mindless destruction

so mal drops the name Ghoul and gets his changer powers better under control and properly develops his master powers instead of his brute powers and becomes what essentially ends up being Whisperer's sidekick under the new name Purgatory (which. i really made on a whim at the time but now that i have had time to think about it really has a lot of significance to his character and state of mind and it makes me SICK)

mal has a sort of hero worship crush on clarence like. thats His Hero. thats the guy who picked him up off the ground and helped him stand out of the kindness of his heart and they know each other out of costume now and even in his civilian life clarence is funny and laid back and so easy to talk to and. mal is not those things. god he is so down bad. relationship wise i will point to this convo which i still stand by

but i think like. both in and out of costume theyre kind of inseparable. mal is like. suuuper super protective over clarence to the point where its kind of an intimidation factor to other people. scary dog privilege or whatever. i like to refer to it as like... if clarence was a prince mal would be his loyal knight. if mal was an animal he would be a falcon (fast, sharp, dangerous, always returns to its master etc etc etc).

its also really important to me that clarence DOES NOT see their relationship like this at all he is so. oblivious. or if hes not oblivious he just doesnt do anything about it or puts it out of his mind or whatever. i think one of clarences big flaws is that hes almost too laid back about certain things that he maybe should care about a little more? big "itll be fine" in situations where things . PROBABLY will not be fine if he doesnt do something about it. so while he doesnt really purposefully encourage mals weird hero worship with him he also doesnt really do anything to dissuade it either. so thats how we get to. where we get to. with them. ouhghhh boy.

i already talked abt this pretty in depth in the other post but trickster appears, kills clarence in front of mal, and it just BREAKS something fundamental in him. once the trickster throws him out of the city i think the prt has to drag him away kicking and screaming because theres NO way he would willingly walk away from that (ESPECIALLY because... clarence's body is still there. he never got a proper funeral or burial or anything hes just.... there on the street or on the roof of a building like hes nothing). they probably put him in some kind of custody which he inevitably breaks out of and goes out on his own. i think he tries to go back to the city only to find the walls already in place and no way to get in without fighting a LOT of soldiers and ripping through a lot of anti-cape measures. which he is emotionally willing to do, but hes not stupid. he knows he needs backup. so he seeks out the worlds most dangerous most awful notorious capes ever. and thats how he ends up with the slaughterhouse 9! his eventual goal with them is to manipulate them into helping him get back into amity and kill the trickster. which is OBVIOUSLY not how things turn out, but thats his motivation at least.

when wraith ends up in the public eye with the new haven wards and his costume is sooooo so eerily close to the whisperer, mal kind of Leaves the s9 for a bit? hes still a member and everything, he doesnt actively quit or betray them or anything bc thats like asking to get killed, but he stops travelling with them in order to. whats the nicest way i can say this. research? the wards. specifically wraith. that little unhinged piece of his mind that snapped when clarence was killed gives him this horrible idea that wraith is just.. clarence reincarnated. its probably been close to 20ish years since the amity incident at this point, so the timing even lines up close enough for him to be convinced. so that starts his weird obsession with william, which eventually involves him nominating william as a potential candidate to join the s9 in the trials (william has a Complex about this) and other fucked up things like the tide fridge (<< our loving name for when mal kidnaps tide and keeps him in jars or whatever in the spirit world in canon etc)

hes my favorite fucked up little guy!!!!!!! i hate him so much i want to hit him with hammers but also ive had a specific stained glass art piece depicting the biblical purgatory that i really want to draw as him and clarence so like. take that as you will. im obsessed with them i think abt them so much even though clarence has like no bearing on the actual plot of nhw since the whole "william is the next whisperer" thing is nonexistent. i got distracted writing this a FEW times so i maybe forgot some things so if theres anything else u want to know about them... hmu. i love 2 talk abt them so much <3

[chaos-has-theories]

Haven't been online much bc of school but I have been thinking abt this au with simon and marcia being in dn1 together So Often. Like Simon would've been right at the start of his spiral into the darke. He just made the decision to only think abt himself like. Today. He's angry at everyone but also specifically and especially marcia. And now he's trapped in the Hell Dungeon with her. And marcia had completely given up, thinking she'd failed and everyone she'd tried to save was doomed so there was no point in living. Except here is one of silas heap's sons. And he is alive and she can help keep him that way. So simon is her one and only reason for staying alive. And to simon this is So Weird. Why is she doing this. Doesnt she hate him (has forgotten that she literally doesn't know anything he's done and also that all the things he HAS done so far have been easily excusable at best and maybe a little concerning but not rlly his fault at worst. His worst ideas have only been thoughts.)

Ough ough it's so good

And ALSO at that point he probably still has enough bits left that completely idolized her and wanted to be her apprentice so badly

But she's entirely useless right now, except he's WORSE than useless, and in whatever ways whe might have betrayed him (none, but uuhh months with the Custodian), the Custodian and DD betrayed him worse.

Also I kmow Simon is going to have a terrible time in there but I can just imagine a point where the shades haven't gotten to him as much as Marcia yet and Marcia confesses that she has failed at everything she's ever done and that she has never been any good to anyone and Simon (history nerd, certified Big Brother and the Reasonable One of the family) goes are you kidding. Jenna wouldn't even be alive without you. DomDaniel would have had control of the castle for a decade. The Young Army and the Supreme Custodian and the Tattletales would be the LEAST of our worries. You took over as EOW at a ridiculously young age and there was no Queen and you were mostly locked into the tower and you still managed to keep the castle mostly floating along.

And then he just has a moment of oh. All of that is true. And I was going to betray her.

So she's still reeling from having been guven a compliment by a tiny Silas Heap while also being at her literal lowest point in life but oh no. Now tiny Silas Heap is having a panic attack.

[heathtalbot]

( EMILIO SAKRAYA, 21, CISGENDER MALE, HE/HIM ) Is that HEATH TALBOT? A SENIOR originally from SAN JOSE, CA, they decided to come to Ogden College to study COMMUNICATIONS. They're THE MALINGERER on campus, but even they could get blamed for Greer's disappearance.

THE BASICS:

FULL NAME: Heath James Talbot

NICKNAMES: None, he's just Heath

AGE & BIRTHDAY: 21 & March 24, 2002

ZODIAC: ☼ Aries ☾ Leo ↑ Pisces + full chart

MBTI & ALIGNMENT: ESFP & Neutral Evil

+ TRAITS: Intrepid, Optimistic, Honest, Sociable

- TRAITS: Temperamental, Obtuse, Unreliable, Domineering

HOUSING: TBA

MAJOR: Communications

EXTRACURRICULARS: Member of SAE, Golf, Powerlifting Team, Rock Climbing Team

CHARACTER INSPIRATIONS: TBA

THREE SKILLS: excellent at picking out apology gifts, can successfully parallel park anywhere, weirdly good at walking on his hands

LINKS: Pinterest / Playlist / Tasks

AT OGDEN:

RELATIONSHIP TO GREER: COLLEGE FRIENDS

Heath couldn't say exactly when or where he met Greer, all the finnicky details lost to the chaotic blur that had been rush week, but when he woke up with her contact info in his phone one morning, it definitely felt like it was meant to be. Both freshmen, both rich and pretty -- what more motivation did they need? C'mon, it would've been weirder if they weren't friends! Just like the rest of the Ogden masses, Heath was dragged into Greer Morrison's gravitational pull, and he went willingly. They started linking up on the regular, meeting up at parties or catching each other on down days around campus, building a strong friendship that he's never once thought to second-guess.

EMBODIMENT OF HIS TROPE: THE MALINGERER

Everyone has known a Heath. The no-show with a great excuse. The guy that never fails to charm his way into the group project with the smartest student. A person who's probably never seriously been told 'no' even once in their life. And it's not luck, either; it's privilege. Heath can rest on his laurels all thanks to the Talbot family name and the achievements of those around him. The third son, he's never felt the pressure of expectation. His mother babies him while simple participation trophies earn him congratulations from his father, allowing him every easy win that he chooses to take. And if he ever faces a roadblock? Heath's positive that there's a way around it. A check to write, a phone call to make, red tape to ignore. Everyone else has always pulled the strings for him, anyway, so why should he start worrying now? Life's a breeze when you don't have to seriously think about anything!

BACKGROUND & DETAILS:

heath was an unexpected baby, the product of a long-term (and still on-going) affair of his mother's. his parents privately maintain a pseudo-open relationship while publicly playing house for the sake of each of their careers. needless to say, family dinners have a tendency to get Weird

his dad is a venture capitalist, very much in the same vein as gavin belson of silicon valley -- he's long since lost touch with his coder roots and mostly just throws his money around to keep his name relevant in tech circles.

heath interns frequently at the companies his dad owns, true nepo baby shit 🥰 but lbr all he does is go on coffee runs and clocks in for 4 hour work weeks

he's currently majoring in communications bc he legit googled "easiest college majors" and it was near the top of the list

started out trying to major in engineering??? who let him do that?? freshman year was rough 😔

anyway yeah, heath's..... not that smart. and to make matters worse, he's sensitive about it!! gets mean when he's confused or frustrated, esp when he feels like he's being teased and not in on the joke. he's got a short fuse after a lifetime of his older brothers picking on him. he'd rather be perceived as rude than dumb

big time gym bro (obviously) and v competitive -- tends to favor solo sports bc at least when he loses it's no one's fault but his own

has a terrible habit of making big promises and not keeping them

he was soooooooo obsessed w/ uncut gems when it came out, i just FEEL it

julia fox = dream woman

brings a certain "haha.. okay" energy to the function

both of his older brothers previously attended ogden (5+ years ago, i'm still iffy on exact ages) and pledged SAE. naturally, heath had to do the same <3

ngl he's very easily swayed by public opinion. critical thinking?? we don't know her!

lowkey has a childhood dream to one day climb mount everest. pls don't try to explain to him how it negatively impacts the environment, he doesn't wanna hear it and won't understand (or care rip)

probably pre-games while listening to drake lmfao

POTENTIAL CONNECTIONS:

FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS !!!!!!!!

people who have been saddled with him for group projects, study groups, etc.

heath doesn't do drugs (he's a keg stand champ tho), so someone to smoke him out for the first time! fs would be a hilar thread

with ogden being full of bad daddies, i'd love for him to have this energy with someone xx

..... also this

anyone he fucked around with over the summer!! i'd luv to hc some juicy goss for him from the break

someone who always calls him keith lmfaooo

maaaaaaaybe his baby sister?? she'd be going into her sophomore year and i have many family hc's to discuss, so <3

an ex who made him paranoid abt astrology stuff sjdjsdkn

someone that he's using and/or leading on

flip the script - someone who's using and/or leading him on!

literally anything else ur heart desires 💖 this will be heath's fourth year at ogden, so we have plenty of wiggle room to plot some crash-and-burn relationships, seething rivalries, situationships, etc. -- i'm down for it all!!

[bossthebicon]

I really have to give my apologies to Krist I was not impressed when I heard he was going back into the BL world and thought he would provide us with the bare minimum and be awkward in any intimate scenes but he has not done that at all I am loving his portrayal of Kawi he is cringe but in the best way and there is no awkwardness between him and Gawin at all they are very natural together who would of thought it.

hmm... apologies might be pushing it lol, but I'm personally not surprised he's acting well in bmf. I remember people saying he's a terrible actor when his controversies were revealed, but imo he's always been a good actor, and he's also a good singer. his talent has nothing to do with him being problematic. now though, where krist has a history with acting problems is chemistry. a lot of people have always criticized his chemistry with singto, but honestly looking back I really think it was mostly down to the bl culture at the time that was just starting so chemistry was NOT a factor in any of the early bls, but also the sotus writing was simply fucking awkward at times. there are scenes across sotus, sotus s & our skyy that are actually really fucking good, even for today's standard. now though, did I 10000% doubt the gawinkrist ship? absolutely. am I shocked they are this good bc I would've never pictured them together? even more absolutely. but honestly, the more I think about it, the more I realize it totally makes sense bc gawin literally is a chemistry king, and krist has been acting for a very long time so has definitely been improving as years pass. also, even though everyone (me included) laughed at him getting back to bl, if he chose this role, it's bc he had a reason to be confident he would be great in it. and to be fair, I think many actors could've played kawi just as well, but krist does play him wonderfully. so anyways, credit where credit is due, krist is great in bmf even though it doesn't excuse his past comments.

xxx

[mamapilled]

mother nonsenses 1.0

was part of the manifesto. (but not anymore?) though these are just random ideas in my notebook that i havent yet found a way to fully write sth decent with. though the evidences are all there. here just for archive, none of these really mean anything. except the last bullet point? but it also doesnt mean anything

- [this was one of my replies when heilhades333 and i was talking abt my ageswap luther and her matriarch nature. then somehow it snowballed into ranfren chi no wadachi?] i think as far as where the series is currently at, randal's still far too young for luther to consider anything about him having a family of his own or even a partner. at this life stage he is still under luther's care, and therefore, a part of luther's family. i see luther as the highest queen of her own beehive, so she wouldnt want randal to eventually have his own family (though, as the "ivory heir", maybe that day will come. if they can grow old that is). luther's way of building a family is more of collecting "family members" - what she'd like to call them, rather than building branches. i dont think she would mind if randal gets a partner as long as they'd submit to become a part of her family (like how she got sebastian as a pet for randal) maybe only when said partner wanted to pull randal away we'd have a problem (satoru. though its mostly bc she wanted to go camping with her family and also blueberry pancakes)

^ i kNOW the mother here is referring to the mother/earthbound franchise. but this is my domain and i can say whatever i want

- [purely delusional. hello hitchther nation?] in my beautiful mind theres this specific what-if situation luther is the queen bee, the hitchhikers are the drones, randal is the queen-to-bee (haha get it) while the catmen and like, nana carpet seb and the rest are worker bees. the drones' only purposes is to mate with the queen (only the fittest ones get this honor) and they'll die in the act but they're happy doing so ^^; this is just me fumbling the hitch hikers’ role theres nothing more to this really, lol

- [i’m still marinating this thing with nou but its going to be mother manifesto 2.0 when i finally know how to verbalize it. wonder when that is... the following paragraphs are choppy and rough bc theyre mostly texts i sent to nou at 12am] AGAIN IM NOT A NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER PLEASE EXCUSE ALL THE... IDK VERBS FORMS ERRORS I DONT KNOW! WHAT THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!

i know luther is the emperor tarot card (totally agree. shes also the empress TO ME. because im me of course) but then nou told me about her being the sun while randal is the moon and. huh. that kinda caught me off guard because the sun is supposed to represent. well? good omen and all the nicest things in the world. huh. everytime i think too much abt this i’d get super emotional (im getting emotional Right Now. thats why i dont think i can fully articulate this 2.0 manifesto any time soon) bc yknow. according to a normal regular person’s standard, luther is far from “good”, but also cap did write that luther “believes hes a nice person but is working on it” (not the exact quote but you get it)

something about her trying to be a good person though she probably would never be one but still in her cynical little mind hes being sweet and loving and Good. and not doing whatever she "in the past" has done. bunch of references to "the past" are mostly if not all abt how horrible and terrible and scary she was and how she keeps saying shes not like that anymore though we arent sure how much of it is true bc shes fucked in the head to oblivion. its the thoughts that count i guess?

these are probably all related to luther giving birth to randal (in my head) since ARHGHGH idk!!!!!! i'd imagine this was her before having him (or at least, when she just had him for a few? years? decades?) and then until she had to raise randal and realized he needs to grow into a decent person and started that fucked up roleplay spiral game of her she goes out less and less and trying to be a perfectly normal loving human and a caretaker of this made up family and stopped doing whatever the fuck she was doing when she was still a young maiden terrorizing canada’s deepest forest suburban hell

since randal is like. THE ivory heir to me too he'll take over one day its like now shes just being a mom and making sure hes ready to be it. one day (that day might never come once again she loves making shits up in her head saying stuff no one can fucking understand. cynical woman) and also making sure everything around him is ready for his growth and also being a good role model for him. yadda yadda. not to mention randal keeps talking abt how shes not like before / this body isnt what it used to before as if they both know shes fucking aging (old) and having randal is what she wanted in life like how parents after having children just want to devote their entire life to give their children the best upbringing bc their time is ending soon its time for the next generation. THIS IS ALSO PURELY DELUSIONAL SORRY

whatever im rereading camping arc again (i do this every night) what can i say i love female hysteria and getting the horrors abt luther von ivory slowly descending into insanity

[hideyseek]

5, 9, 12!

crab!! hi hi hi hi hi hiiiii~! ty for quastions :3

from fanfic asks for the new year

5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet?

aha, well. technically the first is mini heist!au but none of it is written that is in the shape of the final thing that i haven't already posted on here so i'm gonna cheat and say uh. wow huh okay then i kind of have no idea. ah! maybe my arthurcobb fic then! cos it sure won't be narrative!fic, lol!

here is a snippet from the current draft which is uhh three and a half years old (by which i mostly mean to say, there are a couple things in here i would write differently now.):

Arthur brings his coffee up to the counter where Dom has already deposited his onion rings and says, “Excuse me, can I purchase a — a temporary phone?” If he doesn't call it a burner maybe he will come off as more the kind of person he actually is. The cashier puts up a finger in question and Arthur nods but behind him Dom says firmly, “Two.”  Arthur turns, surprised. “Why — we don’t need two?” They’re traveling together, after all. Arthur’s not about to leave Dom alone, so it’s not like Dom will need his own phone. It’s not like Dom’s super functional, anyway. The three days he’d spent on Arthur’s couch before they read the news and had to leave town extremely suspiciously, he’d really just spent on the couch. “We don’t need two phones, Dom,” Arthur repeats.  “What if we get separated,” Dom points out. “How would we get in contact with each other again? You should have your own phone, too.” Arthur would rather not think about circumstances that would separate them. Dom says, “Arthur,” and it feels pointed. Something like panic hollows Arthur’s chest. Things are already out of control, apparently. Two days into being on the run and apparently Dom can call these shots but he can’t be on the run by himself.

9. Short term goals… what do you hope to complete this week or in January?

ahaha actually, getting this ask made me decide that i'm going to try my absolute best to finish the project i've been calling "mini heist!au" (which ... at this point ... is just an au of heist!au without any heists in it, lmao) this month! i used answering this ask as my bribe for reading through all the existing material and drawing up a revision plan / new fic story structure actually. i'm not sure i'll be able to, i suspect there are 2-4 drafts and i simply do not write that fast (at least one from scratch based on a new outline, possibly a second from scratch, and then a second/third that's just like. content/theme/cadence/character arcs etc revisions. though that might get complex enough to be two drafts). but we'll see! there are still 24 days so at this current moment i am optimistic :3

12. Will you change anything about the way you edit or rewrite this year?

YES I SURE FUCKING WILL. I HAVE BEGUN IT ACTUALLY, mostly i'm continuing to test a thing i tried in december 2023 to see if it still works for projects that aren't the specific situation of the beginning of devotion (so far, yes!) anyway the way that process goes is like this (recipe below):

first, write a terrible draft. some scenes can just be a note of what needs to happen. ideally: expend as little fucking effort on this as possible bc like. almost none of this will stay. just write enough to get the vibes of what you're going for.

second, read through that draft taking notes of what you like or don't like (or, the way i phrase it for myself to make the goal clearer "what feels like it is aligned with my vision for the fic vs what isn't") but most importantly. WHY.

for me doing this second step has 2/2 turned into "here is a rough outline of the story, completely restructured" but also, with no ending (which is fine, i just have to trust that the ending will appear when more of the draft is written).

third, compile those notes on a new draft into a narrative-order outline (linear for me).

fourth, write the new draft.

fifth, try to do step 2 again. but what i found for the beginning of devotion and therefore what i'm to a certain extent expecting, is that i will just have a bunch of Ns/dislikes and then go. ah. because the things i dislike are too granular to require big-picture story structure changes now.

sixth, copy the most recent draft into a new doc. and read through and revise directly on the page. maybe title at some point so that revision stuff is aligned with the mood/tone/content/vibes/whatever of the title. and maybe come up with initial tags and a summary here also to make sure the vibes are all aligned. hopefully the content of the ending will become clear at this point and you'll draft that for the first or second time.

seventh, idk i like to do an out-loud readthrough bc reading cadence is important to me personally. and also i am scared to lose the skill of reading aloud considering i do it about zero times a year other than this.

that's it basically.

[certified-anakinfucker]

📖 RN NOW PLS

you have no idea how far back i had to go in my OLD ask tag to find this fucking link. i love you kebbie i really do and i hope this genuinely proves it - so send me a book for a daydreamed story of mine! trust me i have many!

this ask has deadass been in my box for two years now um. holy fuck. its gonna be super long bc this is actually my excuse to force myself to figure out how this fucking story actually goes. youre my sacrificial lamb, babe <3

under the cut for toxic/abusive relationship themes | mostly stemming from not putting an end to toxic cycles and briefly refusing to believe it was an issue

so i had this old ass wip, right. it was called parisian lovers despite no one in the entire story being french whatsoever and it was basically a love story for a sexual relationship with danger turning into a genuine view into what happens when you dont. like check yourself before running headlong into what you think you want

ive since started readapting it to (surprise) swtor and an excuse to explore sith pureblood (henceforth referred to as "tsis") cultures surrounding whats considered normal in their dating/relationships, and also how it challenges familial relationships

the details of it are super fuzzy mostly bc all the meat of it was lost to twitter dms that i refuse to open. so heres a quick fast easy rundown

basically, youve got tsiksos. he is the third born and third son of an extremely powerful and wealthy union of bloodlines, and since hes really not the most important one, he decides he wants to study a niche theory of dark arts. something about how channeling power needed to cast sorcery can be amplified through vocals and choreography. basically he went to a contemporary dance school for the shadow wizard money gang

tsiksos meets ûtainoz, who is practically a beast in this school. he sees the valedictorian spot and hes steamrolling anyone he needs to. hes ruthless, hes heartless, hes a smooth-talker, he will do anything to get his way, and tsiksos found that hot and sexy and definitely worth falling in love with

predictably, this goes terribly. tsiksos doesnt know what the hell he walked into, only that he may as well enjoy it because hes sleeping with the hottest, most talented guy at this school. ûtainoz got a little too comfortable, though, and by the end of their tenure there lost his valedictorian spot to tsiksos,,, who was also gunning for it right under his nose

but whatever, its fine, they go their separate ways with the taste of one anothers venom permanently burned in each others mouths. they both fill their own niches. ûtainoz goes into more of a performative, traveling role and relies on his aesthetic rather than his power - whereas tsiksos followed through with his intent and deepened his connection to the dark arts through what he learned. he became something of a siren, honestly

anyway anyway anyway. tsiksos moves off of his homeworld. he decides he wants to actively burn fires through everywhere ûtainoz has been. and hes extremely successful. he wants to win, he needs to win, he will win. he meets utajhaiw while in the new city, and while poor utajhaiw falls in love - tsiksos sees someone he can keep close with him if he just uses all the right words.

which works! theyre together, its great, theyre fucking almost daily. but they argue every hour. to the point where it gets violent more often than not with tsiksos on the offensive. the arguments are largely fabricated or instigated out of boredom. but isnt it worth it for the sloppy nasty disgusting hateful makeup sex?

yeah well. the neighbors of their apartment dont think so. theyve nearly called the cops every time, until neighbor laishtzi comes over to investigate what just hit the wall. he gets pulled, literally, into the middle of their fuck. his partner rîshja follows and, likewise, gets pulled into the middle of their fuck. its like some sort of apology thing for them too and it becomes regular.

enter: their friend nunjor, a lawyer (i think. something like that) who also ! gets pulled into the sex life. whats worse is that both tsiksos and utajhaiw both fell in love with nunjor and wanted to have him as a permanent third.

sometime after this, the whole hatefucking thing gets a little too hateful. tsiksos actually genuinely nearly kills utajhaiw, and hes starting to hide the knives in earnest. nunjor suggests that they attend actual couples' things instead of just their joint performances where utajhaiw plays and tsiksos conjures something.

they try it. they enjoy it. their relationship actually improves. they make a vase together in a ceramics class.

by the way, utajhaiw has asthma. tsiksos has been stressing him out so bad hes started smoking. on purpose. yes it is what you think it is and tsiksos thinks its hot because he wants to shotgun the smoke from his mouth

anyway, something happens and tsiksos starts backsliding. they have another argument and he breaks their ceramic vase. all that dust from the glaze and the clay triggers a pretty bad asthma attack, bad enough that the neighbors come over (it had been so long without an incident) and call the paramedics to come get him. utajhaiw actually snaps at tsiksos in the middle of literally coughing himself to death, and this is uh. a little traumatizing. because its never been this bad before.

utajhaiw makes it to the hospital fine, refuses to see tsiksos, and nunjor is on utajhaiw's side - that was fucking uncalled for, dude. tsiksos goes back to their apartment, alone for the first time since they bought it together. naturally he should not be alone at this time

laishtzi phones a friend, kaqur (psychiatrist-adjacent) and his partner jashru (probably a psychologist, if not professional "wtf is wrong with you, stop that"). they agree to take tsiksos in while utajhaiw is back home with his family.

its about a year i think? that tsiksos stays with them, basically on s-watch, and it turns out he has a really severe derealization + depersonalization whammy going on, spurned from still dressing the way ûtainoz liked him to dress and the way other people wanted to see his body. he punched through a mirror. so once he started dressing in looser, more comfortable clothing - surprise! he felt better!!!

(meanwhile, utajhaiw spent a year at home strengthening his lungs again, writing songs and poetry, and reconsidering his entire life. spoiler alert: he actually was in love with tsiksos)

but things are never easy. at some point, tsiksos has a bit of a meltdown and breaks out of his little prison, steals the spare key to his apartment, and ends up burrowing in the bed wearing utajhaiws clothes and sleeping on his side of the bed because he feels so fucking bad about what he did to him. but uhhhhhhh.

apparently nunjor also decided to pay a visit that night. and tsiksos, in some nightmare-sleep-haze, reacts to nunjor trying to wake him as if he were ûtainoz - meaning he tried to apologize through offering his body. rubbing his hands on his thighs, face in his crotch (since nunjor was standing at the side of the bed). when nunjor gently corrected him and woke him (not that he would have been upset at the idea of fucking him again, buth he didnt seem to be in the right headspace) it actually uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sent tsiksos into a worse panic. scrambling out of the bed. tripping on something. breaking a glass.

oh, hello ptsd - it sure is nice crab-scrambling backwards on your hands and bare feet over glass while hyperventilating and sobbing so hard you genuinely cant see. again, laishti and rîshja to the rescue getting him back to kaqur and jashru.

so heres where the fun happens. ûtainoz comes back. hes genuinely changed for the better, he is apologetic. he wants to make it up to the person he hurt the worst. does tsiksos take him up on that? yes. should he have? yes, actually, because he needed the closure.

they start rekindling what little flame they had together. days turn into weeks, months, and theyre getting along just fine. apparently nunjor had left, and tsiksos had no comm - by the time tsiksos noticed, it was uh. almost a little too late.

theres a time where tsiksos and ûtainoz are in a speeder together and ohhhh nunjor is a poet, its in his full name, but he also composes. he sings. and he sings about how badly someone has just lifted him higher than ever before dropping him down into nothing. tsiksos has a breakdown on the lawn of some random recreational park.

things will get better again, though! somewhere along the way, tsiksos and ûtainoz make peace with who they are and who they were. nunjor comes back and he and tsiksos talk it out. they forgive each other. and then tsiksos and utajhaiw reunite. they explain a lot. they forgive each other.

tsiksos/utajhaiw/nunjor throuple endgame is the only thing that matters to me actually.

thanks for coming to my ted talk i love you so much

[squidthechaotickid]

Please tell me about your Sonic OCs

I am SO happy u also asked bc I just answered Fire's ask,, I'm happy people r actually interested lmao

U can read that entire rant if u want but to sum it up: Emerald is a terrible father and Pip and Saturn were in gay love (until ofc the horrors)

ACTUALLY I'm going to use this ask an excuse to ramble abt Emerald and Saturn's relationship, since the last ask was focused on Pip and Saturn <33

So uhm. Emerald is a cat who has a criminal organization, as I mention earlier. He's on the older side, abt 50-55, and also probably has a wife and kids (/j mostly)

When Saturn was small, probably around 2, he surprise adopted them (kidnapped basically) in what was originally going to be a blackmail attempt but instead turned into training her into being one of his best agents, Agent 27 (why did he make that choice? Long story but to sum it up he hated her bio father bc of a long rivalry, and wanted him to suffer. He thought making his daughter into something he would hate would hurt worse than just taking her)

(Note - Her name was originally Violet, but they don't figure that out until after they run away. Unfortunately, her parents died during the war, so they never got to truely meet)

Emerald wasn't a great dad. He was incredibly manipulative, being kind and friendly one day, just often enough that 27 almost thought he cared, and then would switch to being a harsh and cruel boss, allowing no room for mistakes and molding them into his ideal agent. 27 didn't know better and assumed this was all normal.

Emerald didn't let 27 be a kid much. They were an agent before all else, meaning they had to avoid close relationships, friendly or otherwise, and obey orders. 27 was too scared to disobey. They were walking the line with their familial relationship with the jackal squad

During the war, it was 27 who convinced Emerald to join Eggmans side. They were mad and wanted vengeance for the dead jackal squad. Emerald took this as a sign of them finally and truly becoming "like him."

It was a few months after the war that 27 made the choice to run away. The jackal squad, Zero especially, had been trying to convince her to for years, bc they could see how unhealthy their relationship to Emerald was.

They packed their few belonging, waited until nightfall, and left under the guise of going in a mission. They changed their name to Saturn, cut their hair from a long ponytail to a short look similar to Starline's (not based on his, they never met), and eventually ran into Gadget and Finn.

Zero and Saturn were really close before everything, so Finn and Saturn clicked. Both were villains trying to redeem themselves. Gadget took Saturn in and resolved himself to having two different war criminals in his home

Saturn eventually found out they were nonbinary, and also made friends and slowly learned how to be their own person, and not just a monolith of what Emerald wanted

The three become a family, and they all lived happily ever after!

Until ofc Emerald came looking for Saturn, bc of course he would.

Saturn is a mess of trauma and anger issues, but they're working on it <33

[platinum-iridium]

Now that you’re done what’s your favorite era of L&O? Seasons one to 11 will always be classics imo but on my first watch the first 3 seasons weee my faves but now it’s the Rey seasons. I know he’s unpopular and he’s definitely a loser who I don’t care for but his and Lenny’s dynamic was excellent and the cases were mostly nuanced and well written. I also liked Claire a lot at that time it was like she was coming into her own. The Abbey seasons aren’t bad either. After that it’s mid. Or maybe Serena’s wishy washiness just makes me forget everything gets blurry around her time and after lol

it might be recency bias but the last 3 seasons of original law and order have some of my favorite episodes. i like connie a lot especially after jack gets promoted bc with him she was a very pretty lamp but then she gets to actually come into her own with mike. and i also really like lupo lol. he's really quiet and broody but he's also kinda awkward and goofy and that combo just does it for me. and him and bernard make a good pair. not my fave cop pair but a solid one and a very beloved da pair. it's a real shame because the final seasons are better than the ~5 or 6 preceding seasons so a lot of people never make it that far.

a very close second is the first 3 seasons. it also has some favorite episodes i love ben stone and paul robinette. i love ben so much as a character. i do think that robinette is really understated but his later episodes add a richness to his character and make his time as a DA deeper. and of course adam schiff. i like mike logan and greevey together. not a cerretta fan. and of course briscoe joins in season 3. i think his first season isn't his best bc they hadn't quite settled on his characterization but a classic character nonetheless.

the serena seasons dragged so bad. fucking terrible. and there's so many of them. i liked the abby seasons. she pissed me off but she was still generally a good character. could have been better, but entertaining. i liked claire and jamie a lot too. will not be wading into the emotional minefield of claire lowkey having a coming of age in that fckn episode just to die. i realized i like the DAs way more than the cops. like i rocked with lennie the same way you rock with the old dudes in your office just bc they're there even though they aint shit and you wouldn't interact outside of the job setting. rey was mostly a good guy but then he cheated on his wife lmao. like yes it was a crazy day but like go home to your family my guy. i mean clearly dick wolf has a cynical ass view of marriage lol like we couldn't even have the one good guy. he was SO self righteous but it did make for a good contrast with briscoe. i liked green a lot but i wish they had let the black characters be black characters and not just characters who happened to be black. robinette got better treatment in his guest appearances. but van buren and green ... like the storylines were kinda there esp with van buren's suit against the nypd but it seemed like the writers hearts weren't really in it for any of her storylines. and their final scene together kind of alluded to it but again the writers aint wanna commit. they kinda try harder in the new law and order but it's ... meh. anyway i could quite literally write a dissertation on the characters but i think this is enough 💀

thanks for giving me another excuse to write a l&o manifesto

[sunnyrifle]

「I killed a man」

about Morita eventually killing someone with his own hands if he'd remain at Ginji's side...

tags!!: Mature ▪️ asphyxiation ▪️ mostly MoriGin

⚠️⚠️unedited, also NO ONE in this conversation is a native english speaker (some parts were translated or held in other languages as well)⚠️⚠️

Pansy: also I bet Gin knows a lot of people have died because of him, either murdered by their debt or by suicide

Akira: oh yeah for sure, I bet Ginji's both naive to use lame excuse "oh I didn't kill them directly so not my fault, their downfall/had it coming" and also smart enough to emotionally feel that he has caused multiple deaths already

Pansy: he knows Mori saw a lot of death and almost got killed that night, but he shows up to the fucking hospital with roses and "sup dude"

he is constantly minimizing Mori's pain that's why he lost him in the end

if Mori kills someone Gin would be terrible as emotional support. he would probably avoid the topic and secretly hope it won't happen again

Akira: yup hahha he's awful for not having any coping mechanisms for that kind of deal he's kind of a coward

"oh as long as me or him doesn't kill anyone it's fine" that's just cowardly

Pansy: Mori in all fours being a dog as usual and he makes a confession "I killed a man :3"

Gin is shocked and terrified for a moment but rewards him anyways!!!

I bet Gin would regret it because deep inside he doesn't want Mori to be less pure, but he knows it was him who pushed Mori to this. and when Mori expects a reward it's probably hard to say no

Akira: oh I'd love to see some kind of arc where Morita shows up all beat up covered in blood, his or not, and doesn't exactly tell what happened, he's kind of manic too, almost as if something broke inside of him 

and then he confesses he killed a man but like after some time, maybe in some very very intimate moment like a pillow talk or in between 

imagine him fucking Ginji, they're mid rounds bc Morita can't handle himself since then, they have a pause where they're almost in the climax but they both are breathless already, and Morita just blurs out "I killed him", rubbing off his forehead from sweat; Ginji's like "..eh?" then grumbles bc Morita continues to move, each new push deeper harsher almost punishingly bad, and Ginji's almost ready to ask him to stop until Morita chuckles and almost laughs again "I killed that man..!" and presses Ginji down being almost not controlling about his thoughts spiralling and chasing the high just by pure body pleasure already, and while he sees Ginji squirming under his hand and his movements and pace, he almost breaks down, silent tears streaming down his face as he smiles but it's broken and crooked... "I am a murderer, Gin-san" and a huge sob

oh I want Ginji to regret so so much;; I actually want him to feel guilty for sending Morita out on solo missions all the time hahah

Pansy: man this makes me think of another possible setting, Ginji doesn't know why Mori seems to be gradually changing and getting more aggressive during sex, then one day one of the men working for him gets drunk and finally tells him Mori killed someone but was keeping it a secret from Gin

Akira: UGH the ultimate betrayal !! imagine you're cheating with a murder, bc that's probably how Ginji would feel as when he'd understand why Morita's harsh with him

Pansy: that night during sex Gin starts feeling uneasy, maybe even scared. Morita puts his hands on his throat and chokes him for a moment. Enough to scare him even more

it would be a fun way to balance Gin's evil karma! when he finally tells Mori he knows, I wonder if Morita will stay silent or cry. or say sorry, or put his hands on his throat again

The way Gin reacted when Mori was stabbed was so dramatic, he really looked terrified for a second. he should feel that way again

Akira: DAMN if Morita's choking him, Ginji's scared and it's visible by his eyes wide open, Morita finally backs off and sits down, his head hanging low but just bc he thinks he caused the worst thing ever (aka Mori did get PTSD during sex sometimes too so he's guilty for a moment) but Ginji just coughs and clears his throat, adding "I know already", Morita jerks his head up and Ginji's rubbing his neckline but also says "I know you killed a person" and Morita grinds his teeth - then suddenly attacks him, almost punches him into the bed and he's not controlling himself anymore bc how could anyone betray him and tell Ginji, right-- ends up in hate sex while Ginji's mindset is that of forgiveness and everything that goes through his light head is "it's okay it's fine I understand, I pushed you to the edge, it's me who killed that person by using your hands" and he's pretty miserable while Morita lashes out onto his body huhu–

all the same Morita should end up crying in the end, as a pillow talk perhaps

Pansy: lol I love how we always put Gin in the role of the torturer, but when it is us who is torturing Mori too much, Gin turns into the person who takes care of him

Akira: Morita's his toy, no-one has the right to touch him

Pansy: I feel like gin is too cocky to admit he thinks murder is too much, deep inside he probably feels guilty and scared but on the outside he might say "you did it for the right cause, that man had it coming sooner or later. once we are in power we will make things right"

you know in the final scene of the manga he is definitely thinking "damn someone could be touching my toy rn"

Akira: "I'm retiring, Yasuda-san, the thoughts of Morita getting laid without me are starting to take a toll"

[faellschtizz]

Getting Unstuck

I’m back after a long time, as evident by me posting maybe half an hour ago.

I’ve move slightly towards embracing my gender, which itself is still a bit beyond my understanding. To recap, in 2019 I figured out than being a man is making me completely fucking miserable and instantly started to self id as a woman. That lead inot a great depression when I figured out it ain’t as easy as calling my psychiatrist and asking for hormones. I’ve come out to friends in next months and dropped out of masters studies bc of the stress and mental health being nuked. I’ve met my now boyfriend at a trans meetup, got a job again and moved in iwith him. Then, time started passing and things didn’t change much, if at all.

At first a year was gone due to covid. I was supposed to have my first gender psychologist appointment on the day the lockdown started and had to wait almost another year. The psychiatrist send me to the psychologist, who at first I was FtM, shich made me happy. Again due to covid, the clinic was temporarily using the spaces of an addiction clinic, which the psychologist used as an excuse to get me tested (I did tell her I was using weed but she still wanted the test). Bc I was positive, like I told her I’m gonna be, she decided to stop my evaluation mid session and told me get clean.

I didn’t, that was too much. So I’ve put transition on a side track and tried to lvie on. My list was come out to parents (I’ve wrote about how it went with dad already), upgrade my job or at least make progress on my masters, and try to figure out if transitioning would trully help me.

Thus, I’ve lost next 3 and a half years to fear, froze completely, only degraded my relationship with family and my mental health slowly eroded as I started smoking more and more weed.

Finally, something happened this year. One of my smoking buddies had to quit weed to get a new job and he managed with only slightly terrible replacement. Another was forced to confornt his demons after almost giving up on living. And my bf gave an ultimatum to do something. These are all events worth their own stories, but I’m not going on another tangent here.

So, I had a window to try and change some habits. I wrote to the gender spychologist, who told me she’s ok with me transition as long as I’m clean over email (let’s ignore she never actually finished my evaluation). She also sent me to the gender psychiatrist, who said he’s gonna let me pass is I pass a drug test.

While I don’t quite understand that, it finally gave me the motivation to go off weed, now it’s been over 3 weeks. I think I should be clean next week when I’m meeting him next. After my last appointment I told my parents I’m transitioning. Wasn’t much of a coming out, mostly just straight up told them I’m gonna get on HRT and that I’m using a new name and pronouns she/her now. They tried to push me back into the closet first and then told me how unexpected that was.

In conclusion on this extra long wall of text, I got a couple of steps further towards starting HRT, came out to parents fully, and quit using weed cold turkey, motly bc my bf wanted me to do something. Now I’m happier, way more productive and completely hyperactive all the time. I’m so tired from overworking myself, overwalking the dog and overdoing the dishes. And today, the previous post happened.

I don’t know if I’m able to cope with it all much longer. I’m tired but cannot rest, I’m doing all I can but get little support back.

[breathofthewildyaverage]

I had to bring this back because I can’t stop thinking abt it

Here are my headcanons for The Chain playing on a private dti server together

Time: is surprisingly kinda good at it, typically gets third or fourth place. Is also one of the only members to vote fairly. Sucks at posing though. He never uses the right poses and uses the same ones repeatedly. He takes forever to scroll through the pose list, so he only gets like three or four poses before the time runs out. Bc he’s a simp, he dresses as Malon for all the romantic themes or “your favorite person” themes

Warriors: is violently serious about this game. Plays it regularly and is incredibly good at it. He has all the buyable items as well as vip and custom makeup, and is already top model. He doesn’t vote fairly at all, openly trash talks the others’ outfit, and gives them all unsolicited “tips” on how they could improve.

Twilight: he’s decent at it, he tries to layer but always forgets abt patterns and accessories so his outfits are always kinda boring. The time limit stresses him out, so he rushes all over the place, freaking out if he accidentally puts on the wrong item or colors it wrong, even though he never actually runs out of time. Spends entirely too long in hair and makeup. He votes fairer than others, but the most he’ll give someone else is four stars. Tries to duo with Wild sometimes, but Wild secretly thinks he’s bad and will make up excuses to not duo with him.

Sky: he’s not bad, but he’s also just not the best. But he is super supportive, he’ll hype pretty much everyone up, gushing about everyone else’s outfits as he goes. You’d think he’d vote fairly, and he means well, but he ends up voting all the “bad” outfits five stars so they’d have a chance at winning. It pisses Warriors off so bad. He always forgets to color his nails so they stay red every theme. Warriors complains that it’s because he doesn’t want them done by Lina, and that he should just play the game right, but it’s genuinely because he never thinks abt it.

Legend: is actually pretty good at it, fairly competitive, but mostly just against Warriors. He trash talks Wars’ fits every time, even if he actually likes them. He votes fairly for everyone but Warriors just to spite him. Duos with Hyrule most rounds. Dress as a corpse or the grim reaper for the “me in ___ years” themes, he’s the only one who thinks it’s funny.

Wild: is also freakishly good at it, but tends to use the same items. He uses the granny dress for almost every theme, claiming it’s “really good for layering.” Does not vote fairly, most he’ll give someone if he likes it is three stars. Claims it’s rigged every time he doesn’t place.

Four: he’s decent at it, like Sky he’s not bad but also not really good. He is a Menace to everyone though, he will ask people to secretly team up and give each other five stars, but he’ll only vote the other three stars. Everyone else caught on and won’t team with him anymore, but Wind falls for it every time.

Hyrule: not very good, but the thought is there. He probably over-layers, uses items that don’t work together, and too many patterns. It’s giving maximalism but just bad. Also really bad at posing. Spends most of the round trying to break into vip with Wind

Wind: he’s terrible. Absolutely horrible at this game, but he’s having so much fun. He uses obnoxiously loud colors, doesn’t layer, doesn’t use patterns, and over-accessorizes. He tries to be creative with the themes, but just executes it badly. Warriors get so mad because he will often get first or second place, because Sky keeps giving him five stars out of pity. He doesn’t realize that that’s why and brags about getting podium every time, causing Warriors to rage quit several times.

Lmao this was fun, I wanna hear everyone else’s headcanons too

Which members of the Chain do you think would play Dress to Impress