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iampikachuhearmeroar · 2 years ago

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well I've had an interesting first week of the year back at work. I managed to get through to my usual doctor this week, which is a bit of a miracle, considering she's always back late jan/early feb each year. she's recommended 3 places for me to ring to follow up on a probable ADHD diagnosis. the best one is one in Sydney, in Bondi.

but to do all of their tests would mean I'd try to jam them into a week, if I could (probs not let's be real), or each time I do one I spend on a hotel room to stay up there, since I just wouldn't feel bothered to the 2 hour drive home after 8 hours of tests. but the Sydney one gives you a brain scan which would be super cool. but also if you managed to get bulk billed, it's $1,200. also they don't focus on meds, they focus on "brain based" and behaviour change stuff.

the other 2 places are local to my area, but you have to ring to find out their prices. but on the other hand, my doc said to leave all this stiff until after I have my colonoscopy that's booked for a couple weeks from now, on the 16th.

work is better since I'm not at a tired low point like I was at the end of last year. my boss is a bit happier that I'm turning up at the office at around 8:50 roughly and set up by 9. but yeah I hate having to cut my pre work bed relax after my bath each morning to 7:15 to get out the door by 8;20. but rn 8:20 is only working bc it's the school holidays so I'm not locked into the mronjng school run traffic and school zones right next to my house (basically). so it means I will have to bother to leave at 8:15 or whatever when school starts back up again on jan 31st.

but yeah. I still haven't handed in any of my unfinished (or unstarted) cadestship assessments; bc I forgot right before we left of chrissy/NY break to ask our outsourced IT guys to set up our VPN access app (it just gives you a code to type in) on my phone to access the work hard drive at home lmao. so I've meant to start this week, but I just haven't.

aside from work, the other interesting thing is that someone from the catholic school I went to for years 7-10 from 2008 til 2011, decided to invite me to a 10 year reunion that someone else from our year group from that school set up on Tuesday on fb for October this year. and I was just so surprised that someone bothered to remember me and invite me.... and I feel kinda touched tbh lol. bc i didn't even graduate with them properly, in a way, in 2013, bc I obvs graduated at the public school that I transferred to. it's so random that someone thought to invite me all these years later.

and I'm also stressing over the event a little. mostly on the level of what to wear to it, obvs lmao. but also, most of these people are successful working in good jobs. or they run their own successful local businesses/take over their parentd businesses.

while, on the other hand. I finish my cadetship in march, and I have no idea whether i'll be kept on where I am or whether I'll be somewhere else or jobless lmao. but anyway. it's going to be so weird seeing anyone from that school again, when half of them have kids and are married now or some have even divorced or split from their partners that they married in our early 20s (or at least that's what I've deduced from their name changes on fb back to their original last name I knew them by in school).

also im bitterly jealous of a few of them because they've bought their first house or have a second house and are using their first as an investment property. like bruh. am I the only one who still hasn't moved out of home yet??? and obvs there are obvs other people renting but still. am i the only one still at home??? I don't want questions about that tbh.

like is it even worth catching up with these people, when I still remember the derision I got from one of the girls from my group from that school, when I ran into her at uni back in 2016??? how she told me that everyone was actually SO GLAD that I'd left bc apparently they were all secretly harbouring embarrassment for my behaviour and my "attention seeking" or whatever the fuck she said to me???? but also part of me hopes that rich boy goes and is happy to see me and I'll get to congratulate him in person on his engagement or perhaps being married by the time this event happens (if it even does lmao). and that's my other thing. could just be an elaborate joke where they do this, and I turn up, but NO ONE is there???? like hello trust issues, aren't you looking very sexy this week.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona's work thoughts

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endeesguide · 4 months ago

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Endee's Guide to Action Planning, Part 1

The Hook: If you struggle to keep track of your progress on goals, if you know you get a lot done but it rarely feels like you have, if you have lofty goals that fill you with anxiety just thinking about all the steps… action planning may be for you. This post is about background and definitions.

Endee's Writing Action Plan

□ create fb page

□ write first post

□ record ideas on action planning

□ type up first draft of new post

□ create meme/image

□ post first post about action planning

□ share with friends on fb

Above is a list of action items I completed to create this post you're reading right now. These are examples of what I've been putting on my weekly action plans.

Background: My partner and I both are neurodivergent, which means that our brains don't process information the same as most. We're wired differently. While my diagnoses of ASD and ADHD came later in life, my partner has known since grade school of his ADHD. Lately we've both been home as I work from home and he is between jobs. I love to organize, and he'd forget his head if it wasn't attached, so we started this weekly check-in on Friday evenings. We discuss our goals, how we did on our last action plan, and come up with a list of tasks to work on for next week.

We just finished our first week, and are currently in week two. It's only been a week and I want to share what we've learned. This is something that has a lot of aspects and caveats. Different people find different things motivating. So while I'm mostly going to be discussing my experience, I will also try to share other's experiences where I can.

The Basics: Action Planning is a process mostly associated with business, but can be effectively applied to your personal life. While you can probably do this by yourself, most people will probably find it more effective to have someone or a group to hold you accountable.

The basic components of an action plan are:

□ Goal

□ Measurable Objective

□ Target Date

□ Accountable Parties

Goals can be short-term or long-term. Short-term goals are tasks that may be simple or urgent, while long-term goals usually involve multiple steps and probably multiple days of effort. We started off this experiment by creating a list of our own short-term and long-term goals. Then broke down some of the long-term goals into smaller steps, or measurable objectives.

Measurable Objectives are your goals in action. What does working toward your goal look like? What's the first step? Second and third step? If you can't measure it, you'll struggle to achieve it. How will you know when it's done? These are the kind of questions to ponder when you assign yourself tasks.

Target Date can be different for each task if you want, for us we've focused on a week at a time. The most important thing to remember is, accountability shouldn't result in shame. If you do this to yourself, you may have some self-care goals to address. If you feel your partner is causing this emotion, have a conversation about that, or find a new partner. The accountability should be about checking in, assessing progress, identifying barriers, adjusting expectations, and encouraging. If you haven't gotten everything on your list done, then discuss the reasons why and change the date as needed.

Accountable Parties in personal action planning generally are just going to be yourself, but as my partner and I have been working on this, we've come up with tasks we want to do together, so it may help to acknowledge that or create a shared plan.

Take Away: What we are doing is basically a weekly to-do list, but by committing to our weekly check-ins, it gives us both a social aspect; someone who will ask "how did you do this week?" And as simple as that sounds, it has made a huge difference in how successful I've been at knocking off postponable tasks. At the very least it's a way to track my progress on different goals, and just seeing my own progress on goals, having a place to document my successes, has been really motivating for me.

Endee's new action item:

□ write & share part 2 next week

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elderemorune · 10 months ago

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My Dad

I've been deep in my feelings since the week before Christmas. A lot of it's been because of my dad. He came to visit us here in Seattle because we didn't feel safe making the trip to where the rest of our blood family lives, bringing with him a wagonload of gifts and trauma. There was a lot about that visit that I wish had gone differently.

I wish my dad wasn't so stuck in his ideas. He's spent his entire life generally being right about things, and when I was a kid, there was simply no proving him wrong, even if your logic was flawless. He's grown a lot since then, and now is much more willing to accept being incorrect on occasion.

And that actually brings me to what I wanted to talk about in this post.

I love my dad. I'm tired of saying things like "I wouldn't wish him on anyone". He's not a bad person, he just hasn't always been the best.

Who hasn't been there though? He has his own traumas, his own spoonfed ideals that are impossible to fight without a ton of support. I've said before, he's the bastard child of US royalty (still won't say whose), and that's so much generational trauma, you can hardly expect a couple of years of therapy and some meds to magically change the heuristics in his brain.

And with it came money, yes. My dad's always been weird about money. One of my most vivd memories from childhood was a Christmas where, as a young child with ADHD, I peeked at the presents. It's a time honored tradition, according to the cartoons, and I was just so curious I couldn't contain myself. I remember him throwing his wallet at me and telling me I could get my own gifts next year.

As a (mostly) grown up, I get it NOW. I understand that he was disappointed that he didn't get to see me be surprised, that I'd ruined his enjoyment of the holiday. Back then, he didn't know how to communicate that, he just had the example set by those that came before him.

It's taken a lot of time, but I've forgiven him for this. After all, I've done the same. Maybe not exactly, but when I couldn't figure out how to talk to people, all I could do was get angry. Before I got into therapy, I spent a lot of time being mad and hurting people. Because that's what hurt people do, right?

What brought this up is that show I've talked about, Dad of Light. In this scene, Indy and Maidy are fighting a boss, and Maidy wants to give up. Indy tries to convince him to keep playing by reminding him that in Real Life, there are no game overs as long as you don't give up. That sure, you can quit now, there's nothing wrong with that, but if you're just unsure of yourself, give it one more try.

I know my dad's said something similar to me. Otherwise this wouldn't resonate in my mind the way it did. And it got me thinking about why I wanted to come back to working for him.

I think the real answer is that in a lot of ways, I admire my dad.

His visit left me in my feelings because that admiration sometimes really doesn't mesh with the actual man. I have a hard time understanding his perspective in a lot of things. I'm practically a communist, and he's the most conservative person I know personally.

But even now, in my vague age range I see him setting examples I can't help but follow. One of his friends needed a place to stay, so he and my mom moved him in. They've done this more than once.

I followed suit and now live with my best friend and my wife. For clarification, we all agreed to become roommates here in Seattle because we all wanted out, but still!

Any time someone they care about has needed help, he's offered. And so too do I.

I don't want to say that my dad could be good anymore. I don't want to say "Oh, he's got good parts, you just have to get used to his abrasive personality" (And I'm not really exaggerating, my dad's abrasive as hell. I think it's mostly his tone and his penchant for getting frustrated with spoken communication. I'm pretty sure he's on the spectrum, but he's never been tested.)

My dad's intensely creative, and is genuinely one of the best DMs I've ever played D&D with. He's there with peripherals, accents, dice if you need them, and if you need help making your character, well shit he's been playing since AD&D, his knowledge is practically encyclopedic.

He can be really funny! He's got a dry sense of humor from having been raised in a very English household, and he grew up on Monty Python, things like that. It's him whose humor I take after, though I'm significantly more crass.

Don't even get me started on his love of sci-fi. My motherfucking dad is in Star Trek: The Motion Picture. A teenager, this future engineer was but a bright-faced extra looking to Kirk for guidance in the face of VGER. I'd post the pic for proof, but this is the internet, 1: I do what I want and 2: I don't know who's gonna get all fucking weird about it.

I mean, shit. Alien is my favorite movie of all time because it was one of the first ones he and I shared without my mom and sister. That and Event Horizon, which to this day he insists I was scared of, but like, come on. I was 14, I'd seen some shit online, trust me, I wasn't scared. Hell, it's literally just the plot of Doom!

The man loves his animals so deeply that he names his business after the ones he loves most. There was always at least one dog in the house growing up, and I only ever got bit once. It was my fault, I went to hug the poor old bastard and he was not having it since my sister had just sat on his damn tail. Still miss you Reilly.

When I was a child, I believed my dad to be this Paragon, you know? Someone to want to be. It seemed to me like he had everything figured out, and if I followed suit I'd be successful and have a home and a family like his. It took reaching adulthood to see that I don't actually want what he had.

I don't want the long hours, the pressure. I don't want my loved ones to walk on eggshells because I'm always stressed and angry. If I'm to be the one in charge, I want that to happen via mutual respect, not fear.

But just because that's how things were doesn't mean that's how things are anymore. I think that's important. He is making an effort to be a different man. A better one, who's more open. He still gets frustrated because he overestimates the average person's base knowledge of stuff he's been doing since he was 20. His tone still gets condescending when he's trying to teach, to the point that a casual observer might consider it abusive.

I don't mean to say "that's just how he is", because it's not. The tone may be condescending, but it isn't the intent, it's how he was taught. When I was a kid, I couldn't have told him that, but now I'm here, and I can.

I did, too. He apologized, clarified, and promised to try to be better. And really, that's all we can ask of anyone, isn't it?

There can be this paragon in my head, and he can still be a flawed man. Both of these concepts can exist at the same time. I can expect him to improve, and he can still make mistakes on that path.

Anyway, that's enough prattling on from me. Thanks for letting me vent.

#daddy issues #blog #emotions #memories #journal

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peachypede · 11 months ago

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!!!

Ask meme here

18: Are you scared of spiders?

Not really? I’d prefer they not climb on me, unless I’m holding one that specifically a pet OR I find a really cute jumping spider or daddy long legs! I’m mostly just wary about getting bitten by one…I’ve reacted badly to bug bites before so I don’t want to be reckless.

My father on the other hand is terrified of spiders but pretends not to be lol. I once came home to him spraying the entire house, every nook and cranny, because he heard the radio say that it was spider breeding season and that they love hiding in house closets to do so.

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

My best subjects in high school were English and Art. My mom has been a highschool English teacher since I was in kindergarten and I went to the highschool she taught at, so I was very familiar already with a lot of the books we were reading because my mom would read them to me. Beowulf, Shakespeare, Frankenstein. Childhood stories to me haha. I can’t wait to read The Hobbit to my own kids when they’re old enough :)) Plus I got her brain so it was easy for me to write essays. I’m an excellent bullshitter and rambler when I need to be.

Art because I’ve always loved drawing! I’m a kinetic learner aka I learn with my hands so drawing helped me study too. It’s funny because one of my math teachers tried to help me learn by using a visual aid, saying “You’re an artist! You should be able to learn visually!” But I really only learn art by drawing things over and over and over until I muscle memorize it.

Worst subject: Math. I was tested when I was a kid for learning disabilities because my brother had some, and they said I had a general math learning disability. (I got diagnosed with adhd at 24 and my whole life suddenly made sense haha.) My brain literally cannot imagine numbers. It’s like aphantasia but with numbers.

Science is a close second worst subject but only because it sometimes had math in it. My senior science teacher was an entomologist though!! Had some tarantulas and other bugs. Made me pay attention more lol. She even discovered a type of wasp so it was really cool.

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

I…literally cannot remember haha. I haven’t been getting deep enough sleep to dream lately. Last dream I remember was when I was pregnant and it was a pretty sucky nightmare. It actually might have been a sleep paralysis dream? I dreamt there was a man at the foot of my bed that the proceeded to start assaulting me and my husband was still sleeping right next to me despite it all. It felt so real that when I woke up I was still feeling awful. Pregnancy dreams really suck.

#terrible questions ask meme #peachy rambles

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tiikerikani · 1 year ago

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An unexpected encounter

What really happened:

Oh no!! I was at the thrift shop just now and someone tapped me on the shoulder and was like HEY I've seen you at Vesterinen gigs! I'm like ?!! I don't immediately know who she is, I assume it's another groupie so I'm like "when's your next gig? Is it Tavastia?" And she's like "no, in Tampere." My brain starts spinning. In February? It’s odd that a Helsinki-area groupie wouldn’t be at Tavastia in 2 weeks. "It's... ah... next Thursday I think?" She starts swiping through her phone. "It's the Pir—" and I'm thinking I don't remember seeing that on the calendar, must be some private thing?? somebody's special I know exactly what she's talking about.

Earlier...

2023.11.30 – Pirhalaiset yhdessä vapaalla (TähtiAreena, Tampere)

So, uh… a friend of a friend's employer had this staff social thing, and she kindly let me have her ticket since it's not her kind of music and (as it turns out) appeared to have other plans anyway. We figured that it's a large enough organization that nobody there knows everybody else, so I could probably stay under the radar as long as nobody tried to socialize with me.

Some people with ADHD are reckless risk-takers; I get my rush from scheming (never in a malicious way) and going unnoticed. (I loved playing pretend ninjas and spies as a kid.) And that's why you're only finding out about this now :)

I noticed that there were a lot of people on the bus who were kind of nicely dressed and some were introducing people to each other. Not at all surprising that about half of the bus was going to the same place.

I'm here on a mission so I didn’t avail myself of the (cash) bar and beelined towards the stage. I covered my hair to try to hide my foreignness a bit since the crowd was overwhelmingly, well, European.

I didn’t want to show up right at the start of the event, which I thought might draw attention to myself. There was already a lot of people and the warmup act/party band was Duo Töyssy & Tervaniemi, who were already playing. I was mostly familiar with the songs they were covering so I could at least fake singing along with the crowd a bit, and there was a part when they did Lady Gaga's Poker Face, which then turned into a Finnish translation of it, then into a medley of some other (Finnish) songs. They even covered a Vesterinen song (albeit an older one — Villihevosia, which is itself a cover — as to not step on their toes). They were certainly very entertaining and good at what they do.

There were then some speeches from the event organizer and organization heads. It was said there were about 300 people there and it was being livestreamed for folks who couldn't make it. I laugh and cheer along with everybody else, I'm getting better at doing this in a natural way to blend in.

Unlike at "normal" public shows, people weren't so glued to the barricade that they sometimes even stepped away so I eventually found my own space there.

I don’t think anybody suspected anything of the weird foreigner screaming all the songs at the front. I couldn't tell if the band noticed me though. I was too occupied taking (bad) pictures to do too much dramatic gesticulating. (Also something about not attracting too much attention.)

The organizers wanted to do a crowd photo with the band after so I tried to face away from the camera then :P

I had considered asking the roadies for the set list (because this was something the Blondes wouldn’t have) but I forgot and I needed to chase down any band member before they disappeared.

Senpai, unable to help himself because he is too damn nice, was trapped giving people selfies. I elbowed my way to that end of the barricade and saw Heini, so I shouted at her and handed her my bag of miniatures. (This was actually ideal because I’d tagged her in my Instagram pic of her figure in progress so she is aware of its existence.) I continued toward the exit and watched Heini dragging Senpai away (”sorry we gotta go, we’re going to Sein��joki tomorrow”). I caught his eye and waved and he waved and gave his slightly startled look (very familiar to me now). To be honest I’m not sure if the contradiction between the occasion and my presence there crossed his mind…

Maailma palaa

Kohti sydänpeltoja

Ilman mua

Tummilla teillä

Rodeo

Kukaan ei koskaan

Faarao (no intro)

Kolme hyvää vinkkiä

Älä lopu yö

Onnellinen mies

Hetken ikuinen

// Kanto (with seriously long guitar solo)

// Arlandan portailla

[Concert write-up archive and master calendar]

#music #concerts #vesterinen yhtyeineen #set list #people (don't) know me #i swear to god fangirling is such a dang rollercoaster

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themainspoon · 1 year ago

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I know I’ve mostly tried to be funny on this site so far, but I wanna get genuine for a sec and write about something that’s on my mind rn. I want to write about how I think my experience as a neurodivergent kid bouncing between medical professionals for my entire childhood, seeking diagnosis and fighting their way through the school “special needs” system to get basic accomodations (for a long time without any sort of diagnosis) affected my experience of questioning my sexuality and working out my Bisexuality. And, now that it’s almost 11PM local time (hopping back up from the bottom, I typed all this up on mobile, it’s 12AM now), I feel the sudden need to share those experiences. And maybe there are others who have or are having similar experiences who haven’t had the time or therapy to put it all together like I have.

To give context on my experience of neurodiversity, I am currently diagnosed with ADHD and Autism, but also have a diagnosis for dyspraxia (this was actually the first one), which is a “learning disability” relating to fine and gross motor skills. Essentially, to this day my handwriting is dogshit, and I couldn’t catch a ball that was thrown at me until my early teens.

There was a lot of struggle to diagnose me, I bounced between a lot of specialists, real ones and some straight up pseudoscientists. But, what matters is that my little kid brain interpreted all of this as “there is something wrong with me, and I can’t work out what that is. Only other people can do that, but they are also struggling.” This was not helped by having to fight for accomodations at school, I sat through so many meetings with teachers with my parents where the sole focus was everything I couldn’t do. (My parents sat through even more, they spared me from as much of it as they could.)

And then right at the end of high-school we get to the point where I began to question my sexuality. It is worth discussing the nature of my bisexuality here, because “being Bi” is a pretty vast spectrum. I experience the “Bi Cycle” hard, my feelings are fluid, there have been times I’ve struggled not to stare at people one day, but upon seeing them the next day I’ve felt nothing. Now, that sort of Bisexuality can be an absolute bitch to work out for anybody, and is probably part of the reason the label “Bi-curios” exists. It can be genuinely hard to analyse your sexual feelings when those feelings don’t ever stop changing.

With those two points of context out of the way, I can now discuss how my experience of disability impacted my experience of my sexual identity. And it’s quite simple actually, the experience of diagnosis seeking, the focus on inability, and the belief that there was something wrong with me that I formed as a child all acted to form the lens I used to look inwards and self analyse. I remember feeling like my sexuality was somehow “broken”, it wasn’t functioning properly. Whatever my identity was, it wasn’t something that should be a source of pride, it was something to be solved.

I remember wishing that there was some kind of medical test I could go and do to get my identity “diagnosed” (and yes, I know this desire becomes even more fucked up in the context of the history of non-heterosexual identities being medicalised and “treated”), although even then I feared that they wouldn’t be able to work it out. If that sounds familiar, that is because it’s the belief I formed as a neurodivergent child seeking diagnosis: “there is something wrong with me, and I can’t work out what that is. Only other people can do that, but they are also struggling.”

For a long time I believed that the only way to understand myself was to subject myself to the medical gaze, and to have my identity diagnosed by others in positions of authority and power over me, especially within a medical context.

What a tragedy it is that my self understanding became so deeply entrenched in the medical model that I robbed myself of my own humanity! Because of the messages I internalised as a child, I self-medicalised and turned what should have been a healthy journey of self discovery into a way to reinforce all my most negative subconscious beliefs!

And I think it is hard to NOT do that when you grow up in the medical gaze. Being the subject of the medical discourse surrounding disability fucks you up, it bleeds into your self image and worldview, and poisons your perceptions of just about everything. To this day I am still trying to untangle myself from the web of my childhood. I have a lot of toxic bullshit I have to unlearn. For example, while most people were awkward and shitty as teens, most probably haven’t wished they could go back and erase their past selves from history for the crime of being a cringe and uninformed teenage boy.

But I am slowly overcoming all of that bullshit. And if you relate to the feelings I’ve expressed (even if not the experiences), I hope you have the opportunity to do the same.

#some serious and genuine shit #neurodiversity #bisexual #personal experience #a certified themainspoon classic

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lorrainestea · 7 months ago

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Thanks @hydr0phius for tagging me <33

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 22, working on 23rd :3

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

65 686

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Wars: The Mandalorian, Ahsoka

The Witcher

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

A Lonely Heart In An Endless Line (126)

Ruins of Mandalore (100)

Aspiration and tears, headache and fears (71)

The Story Ain't Over (69)

Feasting On a Blind Desire (30)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I mostly do, I'm trying to always respond

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Farewell. Definitely Farewell. Poor dude loses his beloved fiancée, mourns her, imagines the life they could have if things were different, her step brother hates him that much he kills him in an unfair duel right on her grave...

Anyways we love angst <3

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have a happy end, I mean, there's already a canon to fuck up my beloved characters' lives✨

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Luckily it hasn't happened yet

9. Do you write smut?

Well... I'm trying, but it goes slowly and I have no idea if I ever publish it

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

At some point in my life I for sure must've written at least one, but I can really remember it now

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not if I am aware? Honestly I don't consider my fics so interesting someone would stole them :D

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes - I translate some of my own fics from my first language to English (all The Witcher fics were originally written in Czech)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

One time - it was fun and I would definitely do it again <3

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

This one is so hard, because ever since I can remember I shipped so many characters, but if I must choose one, I will go with Hawkeye Pierce and Margaret Houlihan - I spent my early teens watching MASH and these two did some chemistry in my brain and I'll love them forever

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

My Geralt x Tissaia fic "May It Be". I work on it since December 2021 where I've written 5 chapters, then I had a long break and touched it again last summer when the 3rd season of The Witcher came out. But with Henry leaving and Tissaia's death, there's no way I'll get the spark with S04 again, so...

16. What are your writing strengths?

For sure experiences, starting at a young age with the whole learning process where K discover what is not my cup of tea and what exactly is my style. Also what helps me the most if the mind set that cliches are not a bad thing and I can enjoy them.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

When the ADHD enters the chat - I write a sentence, then I think about next sentence, I open my Instagram, I scroll as I think about the sentence, I feel anxious as I don't really write, something else catches my attention, I open Pinterest, then I change the music, I google lyrics to the song and maybe after that I finally write again

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm not a fan of it, but if it fits and there is a translation, I guess I can tolerate it

19. First fandom you wrote for?

MASH

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I've only pretended my pride - Morgan Elsbeth x Baylan Skoll fic, I just love writing from Morgan's POV, challenging to understand her character and act like her character, but make her more... Soft? Human? and still be the same baddie she is 💪

Tagging @avantasia-protag-au @sour-cr3am @arthdoesart <3

Writer Asks

I love doing these! They hardly ever come around anymore and I miss these. Thank you @bitchbrisket for sending this my way.

How many works do you have on AO3?

What’s your total AO3 word count?

664,309

What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly The Worst Witch 2017, but there’s also a couple of Bletchley Circle fics on there, as well as an unpublished Xena and a Rosemary and Thyme wip.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Divine

Into the Great Wide Open

One Thing Leads to Another

Ghost

Winter Song

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to always comment. Comments are a gift and I want to recognize the time someone took tell me they liked my work. Plus, I love talking about writing and stories and all that.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Life has enough angst already, I don’t need to add to it with my fics. I much prefer a happy ending. That said, since I’ve left everyone hanging on Stella Caeli for 6 months (I’m so sorry!) and it’s at a disaster cliffhanger, it would be that. I am almost done with the next installment, though, so hopefully soon it won’t be angsty either.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Maybe Divine? That’s the last part of Hecate’s Summer Playlist. Either that or An Uncertain Spring

Do you get hate on fic?

I haven’t yet.

Do you write smut?

It probably comes as a surprise to most of my readers, but yes. Just not in any of the stuff I’ve written for TWW or posted on AO3

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not really, though I do enjoy letting Rosemary and Thyme make a cameo every now and then. I’m not against them, just haven’t done it.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I’m aware.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but Sparky probably deserves a co-writing credit for all of the work she’s put in to my fics.

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

This is a toughie. Certainly, Hecate Hardbroom and Pippa Pentangle – or Hecate and Ada Cackle – or Hecate and Julie Hubble. Honorable mentions include Jean McBride and Millie Harcourt, Xena and Gabrielle, Jenny Flint and Madame Vastra, Rosemary and Thyme, Lady Hardcastle and Flo, SuperCorp, Laventon and Cyllene… The list really could go on.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

Probably my first fic – a massive crossover with characters from everywhere, a healthy dose of Mary Sue-manship, a bizarre premise that turned out to be not so bizarre when six months or a year after I started it, Galaxy Quest sort of had the main plot point.

What are your writing strengths?

I feel like dialogue is what I do best, followed by plotting.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Action sequences. They feel very stilted to me.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Sure, write it. I've had bilingual characters.

First fandom you wrote for?

Not counting that first atrocity, Xena and Gabrielle – though technically it’s a Mel & Janice one.

Favourite fic you’ve written?

That is like picking a favorite child, isn’t it? Well, I shan’t be in denial about it. Hecate’s Summer Playlist holds a special place in my heart, closely followed by An Uncertain Spring and All Roads Lead to Home.

If you'd like to play, I'll tag @emiline-northeto @curlywitch14 @hydr0phius @cassiopeiasara and anyone else who'd like to join in.

Questions to respond to:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fic?

9. Do you write smut?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

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bsdndprplplld · 2 years ago

Text

13 IX 2022

my euclidean geometry journey will be over soon and the start of the semester is so close, it's kinda scary

recently I stumbled upon someone's post with a time-lapse video of their study session. I liked it so much that I decided to make mine

this is me learning about the snake lemma and excision

the excision theorem is the hardest one in homology so far btw, I spent about 4 hours on it and I am barely halfway through. I like the idea of the proof tho, it's very intuitive actually: start simple and tangible, then complicate with each step lmao

I realized two things recently. one of them is that deeply studying theorems is important and effective. effective, uh? in what way? in exams we don't need to cite the whole proof, it suffices to say "the assertion follows from the X theorem"

yeah right, but my goal is to be a researcher, not a good test-taker, researchers create their own proofs and what's better than studying how others did it if I am for now unable to produce original content in math?

the second things is that I learned how to pay attention. I know, it sounds crazy, but I've been trying another ✨adhd medication✨ and after a while I realized that paying attention is exhausting, but this is the only way to really learn something new, not just repeat what I already know. it made me see how much energy and effort it takes to make good progress and that it is necessary to invest so much

I am slowly learning to control my attention, which brings a lot of hope, as I believed that I had to rely on random bouts of hyperfocus, before I started treatment. I am becoming more aware or how much I am focusing at the given moment and I'm trying to work on optimizing those levels. for instance, when I'm reading a chapter in a textbook for the first time, it is necessary to remember every single detail, but wanting to do so consumes a lot of energy, because it means paying constant attention. it is ineffective because most likely I will have to repeat the process a few more times before I truly retain everything. being able to actually pay attention at will sure does feel good tho, as if I had a new part of my brain unlocked

I am solving more exercises for algebraic topology, procrastinating my lecture prep lmao. I am supposed to talk about the power of a point and radical axes, I have a week left and I can't force myself to start, because there is so much good stuff to do instead

I have a dream to produce some original results in my bachelor's thesis. it may be very difficult, because I hardly know anything, that's why I'm calling it a dream, not a goal. the plan is to start writing at the end of the semester, submit sometime in june

I spent last week at the seminar on analysis and oh boi, I will have to think twice next time someone asks if I like analysis. the lecturer who taught me at uni had a different approach than the "classic" one. we did a little bit of differential geometry, Lie groups and de Rham cohomology, those are the things I like. meanwhile at the seminar it was mostly about analytic methods of PDEs, the most boring shit I have ever seen

complex analysis will most likely be enjoyable tho, I'm taking the course this semester

for the next few days I need to force myself to prep that damn geometry lecture. other than that I plan to keep solving the AT exercises and maybe learn some more commutative algebra. I wish everyone a pleasant almost-autumn day 🍁

#mathblr #studyblr #math

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citrineghost · 3 years ago

Text

Struggling to stay organized because you have ADHD?

Well, I have a fantastic solution for you! There’s this bitchin site called Trello and I’m gonna tell you all about it

This is not sponsored, I just really like organization and Trello is awesome. And, as always, no readmore because this is targeted at ADHD people and y’all ain’t gonna click it

[ID: a picture of a website with many columns/lists. Behind the lists, there is a customized background. To the right is a sidebar showing that you can search Unsplash for backgrounds right from the site. Each column/list has a bunch of ‘cards’ on it. The cards each have a title and color coded label(s) /end ID)

Here’s a picture of my to-do board

There are some things blacked out, mostly just my avatar, name, and some original creative stuff I don’t feel like broadcasting.

So, Trello is broken up into different levels of organization. Let’s start with the most important level: boards.

Boards

A board is what’s pictured above. Think of it like a corkboard where you pin your notes. You can make as many of these as you want. You can title them, invite people to them, automate certain parts of them, and more.

On your board, you can make

Lists

Lists are those columns you can see on my board. You can title each list, click and drag them around to reorder them, set them to automatically label the things on them, and so on.

My lists on my to do board are titled with a time period for when I aim to do something. The time periods are large and vague, which makes them great for my ADHD. I can move things between them as I need, which is also great for my ever shifting brain thoughts.

But! What makes it great is that whatever I put in the left list, titled Next, I know is what I need to be focusing on at the moment. It makes it easier to ignore what’s to the right of it and let’s me relax knowing I won’t just forget everything I’m not prioritizing.

Lists are used for holding

Cards

(ID: A picture of a small window that opens after clicking on a card. It contains the title, the labels (with their names now visible), and a functioning checklist. There is also a place to type a description, a place to add comments, and a list of buttons on the side for managing the card and its place on the board /end ID)

Each card can be as simple as containing just a title (making it a simple entry on your list), or as complicated as housing photos, descriptions, checklists, labels, and comments. You just click the card and it opens the window shown above.

My card is for a tabletop I’m working on, nicknamed TAP. I have it labeled with all of the things pertaining to what it involves (world building, writing, in progress, spreadsheeting, and art/creative). These color coded labels make it easy to see what kind of cards I’m looking at when looking at the overall board and lists.

As I do things on the checklist, I can mark them off. You can even set it to hide completed items on the checklist.

When I’m done with an item on my to do list, I click and drag the card to the Done list (which is offscreen on the far right). If you don’t want a visible Done list, you can also just archive a card and it will disappear from the board.

You can also set due dates on cards, which will notify you when they’re almost due or when the due date arrives.

Customization

One of my favorite things about Trello is that you can customize the appearance of your boards! My ADHD brain can’t stand looking at the same thing constantly, so it’s great that I can change things up. Each board can have its own design too, so you can match the vibes of the board with the appearance.

You can pick from a bunch of solid colors for your board or you can use the connection Trello has with Unsplash to search and select free stock images provided by photographers.

Other Parts of Organization

Not only do you have boards, lists, and cards, you can also make Workspaces, which are basically categories to sort your boards into. If you use Trello for projects, and have a board for each project, you can sort your boards into a Projects workspace.

There is also a function called Butler, which you can use to automate boards. For example, you can set it to automatically create a card called “Pay Rent” at the start of each month.

On the right, in the same sidebar where you can see the background options, there’s also an activity feed, tracking every time a card is moved, commented on, added, archived, and so on.

Team Work

Not only is Trello great for keeping private boards, you can also invite people to them! That makes it incredible for household management, group projects, or even friend groups who feel like storing plans and personalized memes. You can literally use it for whatever you want and in whatever way you want!

ADHD Applications

So, now let’s get down into the specifics of how this is great for people with ADHD.

You can make as many boards, lists, and cards as you want.

This is a big one for me, because I really struggle with websites that limit how much you can do with one account and force you to make multiples and then juggle multiple logins and so on. Start a new project? Make a new board. Follow your heart. Be free. If you end up giving up on it, just delete it, or store it for later. You can Star the boards you actively use and just use the Star list to access the boards you need, so if you star all your active ones and then ignore the unstarred, failed projects, you can leave them to rot or abandon them until the mood strikes again.

You can organize in a way that works for you.

So many organization applications are made to work one way and that can be really difficult to navigate as someone with ADHD. So many people with ADHD have such specific needs in regards to how they organize that it can be really hard to find something that works. Half the time we end up just scrambling around from application to application, cursing them as we go because one has one thing we like, but it doesn’t have the thing this other one has that we like and nothing ever seems to just work.

Trello makes it possible to personalize how you organize and even change how you organize halfway through. I keep my to do list organized in 4 priority levels with the addition of a Pin list and a Done list. You could also:

Keep a list that works as a calendar, with a card for each entry, organized in order of date

Keep a list of reminders where automated weekly/monthly/yearly responsibilities pop up

Jot down reminders as you think of them

Keep lists of school assignments in the order they’re due

Use descriptions and photo uploads on cards to collect information or resources needed for said assignments

Keep lists of information that’s easy to forget or lose track of on paper like address history, work history, references, contact information, and so on (like I’ve done on my ‘Pin’ list)

Use boards for projects, to keep track of things like resources, due dates, meeting times, sending files between classmates or project partners, and so on

Use boards for planning events like weddings, parties, conferences, school dances, or whatever else you’re into

Collect resources, references, or recreational to-dos (like links to fanfiction you want to read)

Literally anything

You can separate everything onto different boards, making everything visible from the titles of cards, or combine it all into one, with lots of information available on a click

The sky’s the limit

You can automate repeat tasks.

ADHD comes with a lot of forgetfulness when it comes to regular tasks, such as weekly appointments, medication reminders, and a yearly charge for your Nintendo membership. You can put that stuff into your calendar, but that can also be tricky because then you have information spread across multiple platforms.

Just as easily, you can set Butler to make new cards with reminders on them.

There’s probably more but I have ADHD and I forgot

Just think of the possibilities!!

I used to get debilitatingly stressed out because I would have 10 things floating around in my head because I was simultaneously trying not to forget them and also stressing about them and I would make what I call “spaghetti lists” where I would list all the things I’m thinking of, just as a way to calm down and know that I won’t forget them, so that my brain could quiet down.

Since starting this board, I haven’t had to do that once because all of the things I’m afraid of forgetting are already listed, even if they’re on the list titled ‘ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ‘ because idk if they’re ever actually gonna happen.

It can be incredibly stressful to see all of your to do items in one place, but since starting this, I have been less stressed overall, because I now know I can find them all in that one place. Learning to manage and cope with the stress of knowing I have a lot to do is easier than forgetting things and then realizing I’m late on something or things just never happening because I never remember them when I’m in a place where I can work on them.

And when you have everything in one place to reference when you have some executive energy, you can suddenly just start doing things. I have them labeled by type so I can go, “I’m in the mood to draw,” and then check all the dark blue labels for creative projects. It makes everything so much easier.

Anyway, I hope this is helpful to some of you, it’s genuinely been life changing for me

#adhd #actually adhd #coping with adhd #adhd tips #tips #advice #organization #organizing #trello #projects #to do #ghostpost #adhdghost

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waitineedaname · 3 years ago

Note

Can’t remember the number but the prompt about hearing a song meant for their crush from their roommate’s room???

7. I have work in the morning and I can’t sleep while you’re making music next door, composing love songs for your secret crush.

Gordon was not a stranger to insomnia. Even before all the bullshit that had been thrown at him in Black Mesa, he’d had his fair share of sleepless nights. Anxiety and ADHD would do that to you. Of course, that had gotten significantly worse after he lived through his worst nightmares. It was easier to deal with these days, though. Time had passed since the Resonance Cascade, and he had spent a long time putting his life back together. Learning coping mechanisms, getting a much lower stress job as a physics professor, reconciling with Benrey, the whole nine yards. The night terrors and insomnia came far less frequently than they had when he was fresh out of the birthday bash at the end of the world. That didn’t mean they stopped coming all together, though.

It was one in the morning, if the glowing numbers on his alarm clock were to be trusted, and he had yet to fall asleep. His mind was racing, and not even in the typical anxiety way; he just couldn’t get it to shut up. It didn’t help that he had a class to teach in the morning. He was begging his brain to let him rest, but instead it decided to fixate on anything thought that passed by, like midterms coming up or the TV shows he loved as a child or all the noise coming from Benrey’s room.

Gordon ran his hands down his face and groaned. Yeah, Benrey deciding to compose music in the middle of the night definitely wasn’t helping his sleep. What the hell was that guy even doing? Fuck it, Gordon decided. He wasn’t getting any sleep anyway. Might as well ask Benrey about their music.

He shuffled down the hall, mumbling curses when he stubbed his toes on the furniture barely visible in the dim moonlight. He paused outside Benrey’s room and listened a moment. Some of the sounds were the tell-tale tones of Sweet Voice, sometimes low and resonant, sometimes sweeping to high flute-like notes. Behind the Sweet Voice beeps was the sound of a piano, played with inexperienced hands but still harmonizing surprisingly well. Occasionally, one of the piano notes would come out sour, a key clearly being missed, and the Sweet Voice would be cut off with a non-melodic noise of annoyance before being picked up again.

Gordon had planned to knock on Benrey’s door, but he couldn’t help but stand there a while longer. The song Benrey was putting together was… really pretty, actually. He didn’t know a damn thing about music, but something about Benrey’s song struck a chord inside his chest.

He suddenly realized how weird it was that he was just standing there outside their door, and he shuffled awkwardly before knocking. The music immediately came to a screeching halt, and the silence that fell over the apartment was momentarily deafening. Then there was the sound of Benrey getting up, and then the door opened a few inches, allowing Benrey to peer out.

“Whuh?” They said, squinting up at him. “Thought you went to bed, man.”

“Couldn’t sleep.” Gordon glanced over the top of Benrey’s head and saw a few Sweet Voice orbs still illuminating their otherwise dark room. The bubbles painted the room in a warm orange and pink glow, like an extremely localized sunset. “What’re you doing?”

“Nothing,” Benrey said immediately, then thought better of it. “Just making music. Dumb, uh, dumb idiot doesn’t even know music? Only listens to Linking Perk? Pork Links? Not very kosher of you, dude.”

“Shut up,” Gordon said, despite laughing. “Can I listen?”

Benrey visibly hesitated, almost to the point that Gordon considered retracting his request and shuffling back to bed, but they eventually nodded and stepped away from the door so Gordon could follow them into their room.

Gordon had been in Benrey’s room a few times before, usually to grab something they’d forgotten and couldn’t get themself or something, but usually he didn’t intrude. It was their space, and everybody needed their own space. Benrey inviting him into their room in the middle of the night felt like an expression of trust that still baffled Gordon every time he thought about it too much; how had they come this far? Benrey sat down on the small piano bench in front of the keyboard Gordon had bought them when he realized they needed some kind of constructive hobby, and after a beat of consideration, Gordon settled down at the other end of the bench.

“Don’t be a dick, okay?” Benrey warned him. “This is a once in a lifetime concert. I don’t perform for just anybody.”

“Alright, alright, I get it.” Gordon put his hands up in surrender. “I’ll keep my comments to a minimum.”

Benrey huffed but apparently deemed that response acceptable. They cleared their throat, put their hands on the keys, and began singing. Gordon was immediately entranced. It started as a low orange note, sustained with a major chord on the piano. Slowly, it was accented with notes of pink and shimmering blue. It sped up, becoming playful, then took on a treacherous minor key peppered with discordant notes, before resolving into a major key that exuded warmth and comfort. All throughout the performance, Gordon was transfixed by the Sweet Voice filling the room, enshrouding him and Benrey in light. The more he watched and listened, the more he thought he might recognize the Sweet Voice colors. There, the orange tone Benrey occasionally sang directly into Gordon’s face by way of greeting, followed by an orange-blue gradient Benrey sang when they were excited to go on an outing with Gordon. The playful pink Gordon learned to associate with Benrey’s laughter, the soft yellow they used when Gordon was too stressed to sleep. The bruised purple color Gordon remembered from bad nights, thankfully distant memories now, and then the gentle lavender of the comfortable mornings that replaced them. Then laced throughout it all, the pink to blue gradient that always embarrassed Benrey and reminded Gordon of the bi flag, hidden under other layers of music as if Gordon wouldn’t notice.

Gordon wasn’t sure how long the song went on, but eventually, it faded into silence as the last few bubbles of light escaped Benrey’s mouth and their fingers stilled on the keys. Gordon didn’t dare say a word, awestruck into silence. Benrey, however, fidgeted and felt the need to speak. “It’s not done,” They said, as if defensive. “It’s still�� I gotta make it perfect, you know?”

“I think it’s perfect,” Gordon said, and he meant it. Benrey immediately looked embarrassed and turned their head away to sing that pink to blue string of Sweet Voice. “What is it about?”

“It’s, uh…” Benrey trailed off, rubbing some dust off one of the lower keys. “It’s about… I dunno, life? Living here. With you. And being your friend. And, uh. Yeah. Mostly about you.”

“...Me?” Gordon asked, shocked. Benrey continued to avoid his gaze. “Holy shit. I don’t think anyone’s made a song for me before.”

“Mm. Well, feel grateful. Asshole,” Benrey’s heart wasn’t in the insult for once, clearly deflecting. Gordon smiled and scooted closer on the piano bench, leaning against them affectionately.

“It was beautiful. Thank you, Ben.” Gordon pressed a kiss to their cheek, then stood. “I think I’m gonna go to bed for real now. Good night.”

Benrey had their lips closed tightly, holding back Sweet Voice, and nodded instead of responding verbally. When Gordon closed the door behind him, he could still hear and see the pink to blue Sweet Voice from under the door. He wandered back to bed, soothed and happy, and fell asleep to the sounds of Benrey’s composition drifting down the hall once more.

#hlvrai #frenrey #benrey #gordon feetman #my writing #okay to reblog #THIS ONE IS REAL SOFT <3 #sorry this took me a bit to get to #I'm visiting my mom for her birthday this week #hope you enjoy the fic :]#I love playing with sweet voice stuff. nonverbal language hell yeah

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ramzawrites · 3 years ago

Note

Ah right sorry! I dont know how but my brain was like 'yes discord is exists in minecraft'- Yes of course I dont mind! You can do whatever you want with the request :) Good im happy to hear that! And Thank you!

Original Request: Could I request a shy and quiet reader forgetting they're on a discord call and starts to sing a song that they are listening to? and whoever is on call with them joins in? maybe with Tommy, Wilbur and some other characters you want to write for :)

Remember to eat and drink water!

Secret Singing - Reader Insert

Pairings: none stated but can be read as Wilbur x Reader

Characters included: Wilbur, Tommy, Jack Manifold

Warnings: n/a

Series: a request <3

Summary: Wilbur was busy, but not busy enough to help Y/N set up their workspace at their favorite spot! Going off to fulfill his own errands only to come back to a nice and beautiful tune in the air.

Words count: 2125

Authors Note: Lmao you are valid, I mean after all skype is canon in the dsmp 💔 Skype my abhorred 💔

Also adhd went brrr again, I tried looking over it a ton but there might still be a few mistakes!

“Oh, wow! Need any help with that, Y/N? That’s a lot of wool you got there!” Wilbur was running through L’Manberg to deal with some errands but stopped in his tracks, having to do a double take as he just saw a mountain of blue wool on legs walk towards his direction. Only then did he notice that it was Y/N who was holding on to a basket with the wool in their arms.

With a concentrated expression Y/N turned around a bit so they could look at him. Pieces of loose wool was laying in their hair or was stuck on their flushed face “Oh! Didn’t see you there! And it’s alright! I’m just getting it over to my bench!”

With their bench they meant the wooden bench they set up themself next to a small pond. They loved working close by it hence the bench to make it a bit more comfortable. It was also still a minute or two off and with the way Y/N was already struggling with the basket, Wilbur couldn’t just stand and watch. How could he hope to be a proper president when he didn’t help people who clearly needed it?

He shook his head with a fond smile on his face, stepping closer to grab the basket from them “Nope, let me help you. Not taking no for an answer.”

Y/N let out a few weak protests but ended up just pushing it into his arms, not wanting to accidentally spill the freshly treated wool unto the ground.

“Hey, um, be- bend down a little, Wil.” their voice weak and wavering like usual. Their shyness getting ahold of them again.

Not even thinking about why they asked this of him, he obliged. They then scoped up the top of the soft mountain so Wilbur had actually a chance to look across. He might be tall but that didn’t help when you held something big in your own arms.

With a soft satisfied smile they begun moving again and for a second Wilbur just stared as he readjusted his grip on the surprisingly heavy basket that Y/N probably made themself. Following after them and making sure that no stray pieces of wool would fall off.

“So, what’s all the blue wool for?” he asked.

For some reason this seemed to amuse Y/N “Well, a lot of our clothes use blue wool. The flag as well! I need some blue thread to either stitch some more flags down on clothing or when repairing them. Same for the flags flying about. General stitching. Besides can’t hurt to have some extra, might even sell some!”

In hindsight this made sense. When this whole L’Manberg situation started out Y/N offered to help stitch together their torn clothes. Over time they got really good at it and nowadays they have kind of turned into the resident seamstress.

Wilbur once apologized for pushing them into this profession only for them to vehemently shake their head “No! It’s fine! I- I enjoy it! It, uh, it also gives me something else to do than worry about our existence.”

He couldn’t argue with that. It was something that he lacked. Everything he did was dedicated to this new nation after all and he would lie, and he did, if this didn’t take a bit of a toll on him sometimes.

Once they arrived at the bench, Wilbur softly placed down the wool next to the seating area as Y/N carefully returned the extra wool back on top. They then sat down on the bench while taking out their tools out of their inventory to turn the wool into yarn or thread.

It wasn’t unusual finding them working here, especially when the weather was playing nice. Often enough sitting together with other people in sometimes comfortable silence or happy chatter. Either making thread, stitching or whatever work they had to do and could do outside.

“Thank you, Wilbur! I’m sure you are busy so I won’t keep you longer but you are welcome to join me if you are done with work before me.”

Wilbur picked some of the stray wool off his uniform and sighed, not particularly looking forward to the work “Yeah. I’ll come around if I can. I’m going to meet up with Tommy in a bit so he might join as well, not sure though.”

Y/N nervously chuckled “Yeah, don’t worry. I know.”

They then begun to set up their tools to start working. Not even looking after Wilbur who begun walking off again in a snail’s pace. He really wasn’t looking forward to his work at the moment but alas it was very important.

It took a bit, but he soon arrived at the building he and Tommy set up as something of a headquarter. It was basically just a room covered in maps, scrapped ideas, plans and a few weapon and armor pieces.

Tommy was already waiting inside for him. He looked a bit annoyed with his arms in front of his chest. Before he could complain to him though Wilbur already threw his arm around Tommy and led him to his latest sketched out plan for L’Manburg. Trying to distract him with work.

They were mostly discussing how to ensure the safety of the new nation and how to create a functioning system inside that would ensure that everything inside would move along smoothly.

Hours passed as they schemed and begun setting a few safety measures up or helped the residents of L’Manberg where they could. Jack Manifold later joined them as well. Helping and even offering ideas of his own to incorporate.

“I think that is all we can do for today. I’m getting seriously tired.” Jack sighed, cleaning the dust off his hands on his own clothes.

“You’re going home?” Tommy asked.

Jack crossed his arms, his eyes wandered off to the side behind his mismatched glasses as he thought for a second “Mh, I was hoping we could hang a bit, you know, outside of work. Haven’t done that in a while.”

“Oh! I promised to maybe spend some time with Y/N if they are still at their pond!” Wilbur suddenly exclaimed, remembering the exchange from a few hours ago.

A happy smile appeared on Jack’s face “Let’s go together then! I haven’t seen them in a while, and it’s been even longer that I hung out with them while they worked. It’s always very calming for some reason.” The last part he muttered but Wilbur caught it.

He wasn’t the only one who thought like this. Most of the people in L’Manberg were drawn to them especially in this chaotic time. It was nice having someone like that around.

“Guess I’ll come with you.” Tommy suddenly exclaimed, pulling Wilbur back out of his thoughts.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, why not. I need to ask them to look at my coat anyhow.”

With that the group begun moving, it was slowly getting darker, but it was still warm outside, so if they were lucky, Y/N was still out.

They were chatting about what they were planning to do next or in Jack’s and Tommy’s case what they have been up to only for them to get interrupted by a tune that the wind carried over to them.

A bit surprised Wilbur looked at the others, hoping to see if they too hear it and true enough, they seemed to be just as surprised as them. Someone was singing but he has never heard a voice like this.

Frankly, it was beautiful.

The tune was sounding sad and yet the lyrics that accompanied it were hopeful. Wishing for peace in a time of turmoil. Promises of a better time filled with a deep love via the voice.

It was a song that none of them ever have ever heard. An original song perhaps?

But what really surprised them was from what direction the music came from.

It came from the pond. From Y/N’s bench.

Almost as if they were worried to scare away a wild animal, they begun to sneak towards said pond. Staying off the path and taking a wild berth. Hiding behind the trees, trying to avoid that if their hunch were right, that Y/N wouldn’t see them approaching.

Wilbur pressed his index finger against his pursed lips as they got closer, motioning for the others to keep quiet. To which Tommy just rolled his eyes, seeing how this was obvious.

Jack slowly moved around the tree and there he saw it.

Y/N was sitting on the bench, their legs crossed with a piece of fabric in their hands that they seemed to stich another L’Manburg flag into. Slowly moving their head from one side to the next to the rhythm of the song.

Wilbur followed suit, using his superior height to peak his head out above Jack while Tommy crouched down to do the same.

They were still intently staring at their handiwork, pushing the nail and thread into the cloth only to pull it out again. Their mouth turned into a happy little smile as they sang this hopefully hymn.

“Wow, I didn’t think they could sing like that.” Jack whispered, looking up to Wilbur.

He nodded, his eyes continuing to rest on Y/N’s happy expression “Yeah. It’s beautiful.”

“I guess it’s fine.” Tommy just whispered back. Of course, he still had to put on his cool dude persona.

Wilbur flicked Tommy’s head “Just say for once what you really think!” He still made sure to keep his voice down, not having heard enough of the song and Y/N’s voice yet.

Tommy scowled and jumped back so he was standing at his full height again “What do you mean? I say what I think! The hell are you talking about!” He tried to keep his voice down but at the end he got louder which made Wilbur panic and clasp his hand around Tommy’s mouth.

Though Tommy saw this coming and dodged out of the way by ducking, resulting in Wilbur to fall over. Crashing into Tommy and pushing him onto the ground, both of them letting out a startled yell.

The singing immediately stopped.

“Ah! Look what you have done!” Jack whined, helping the two reluctantly up.

“Well, if Tommy would have shut his mouth!”

“You attacked me!”

“I did not! I was trying to shut you up!”

“Guys?” a soft and unsure voice broke through their argument.

All three men slowly turned around to see Y/N clutching the piece of cloth they had been working on close to their chest. Avoiding any eye contact. Their face covered in a deep blush. Chewing on their lower lip.

“Are you okay? I- I heard a thud and- I just- I wanted to make sure-“ they stammered.

Tommy seemed to be confused at that “What? No. You were singing though, right Y/N?” Getting straight to the point apparently.

“Tommy!” Both Jack and Wilbur yelled out in outrage.

Y/N’s eyes widened, and they moved the cloth up to their face. Effectively hiding behind it “No. I- uh. I’m sorry?”

“What are you sorry for? Your voice is amazing! Why haven’t you told us you can sing?” Wilbur stepped closer. His eyes wide as well but in amazement.

Though Y/N seemed to cower down even more the closer he got “Because- Because I can’t. Please just forget about it.”

Wilbur wanted to know more, hear more of their singing but they seemed panicked. Hiding away and trying to clearly get out of the situation and he had to take a step back. Guilt welling up in him.

“I’m sorry. We just heard your song, and it was beautiful. I have never heard this song. I guess we got enamored by it especially since your singing was really amazing.”

Jack put his hand on Wilbur’s shoulder and pushed him back a few steps “Come on let’s drop it. They are clearly uncomfortable. I’m sorry Y/N.” He then begun pulling Wilbur along, grabbing Tommy in the process as well who just yanked his arm away from him stating he could walk good enough on his own.

“Wilbur?”

He immediately turned around again to see the nervous Y/N with a determined expression on their face. The cloth now back down.

“The song! I mean, uh, my parent taught me that song when I was a child. Apparently, they wrote it.”

“It’s a really beautiful one. Your parent must be very talented. If you feel ever more comfortable enough I would love to hear the full song.”

Y/N took a deep breath in “I know how to play it on guitar and keyboard? I could, uh, you know. Teach it to you?”

Wilbur’s smile returned to his face “Sounds like a plan.”

#mcyt x reader #dsmp x reader #dream smp x reader #mcyt x Y/N #mcyt reader insert #dsmp reader insert #dsmp x Y/N #dream smp reader insert #dream smp x Y/N #wilbur soot x Y/N #ramza writes #anon request

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astriiformes · 3 years ago

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Was tagged in a thing by @ostreatus (thank you, friend!)

Favorite colour(s): Deep/dark blues and greens; silvery grey

Currently reading: Most of my reading is school-related right now (although largely chapters, not whole books) but my Darwinism class just started Summer for the Gods: The Scopes Trial and America's Continuing Debate Over Science and Religion which I think is definitely going to be an interesting one. On my own time I’m also reading Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel’s The Sabbath, which as someone with a fairly debilitating amount of ADHD time-blindness/general time angst is uh. Sure hitting me in some places.

Last movie: ....I don’t watch very many movies, so I genuinely can’t remember what the last one was. It might have been Dawn of the Dead at the end of my monsters class last semester? Which is not my usual fare by any means, but I did very much love that class.

Last song I listened to: “Don’t Carry It All” by the Decemberists which. Oof. It’s one that’s in my usual rotation but, again, hitting some places right now. (In part because there are a great number of people carrying things for me right now and I hope they all know how appreciated they are)

Sweet, savory or spicy: Probably sweet if you were going to make me pick just one (of the three, it’s more consistently kinder to all my sensory issues -- with the exception of most fruit -- plus there is almost nothing I love more than a good sweet warm beverage), but with a distinct savory niche, too, as testified to by my love of dishes like ramen and more savory baked goods and gyros.

What I’m currently working on: Wish I had.... a real answer to this. Staying afloat mostly and that IS an answer but also having something else going on is generally good for me, you know? I want to poke at fic again but have just not had the right brain for it. I think the closest I’ve come to working on anything in the last week or so has been doing some preliminary historical fashion research for me and my sister’s Percy and Cassandra costumes (re-working mine; building hers from scratch) and a tiny bit of helping Scribe with the start of a countermelody for a joint filk we want to write. Which is not nothing but!! I am so filled with ideas all the time and wish I had a bit more to show for it. Here’s hoping spring break next week helps a bit with that.

Obviously participating is totally optional but tagging @kidrat, @thesixthstar @times2die, @cormorant-red and @rattusn0rvegicus, if you want in!

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variousqueerthings · 3 years ago

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Johnny and ADHD

alright, I’ve wanted to write something about ADHD Johnny for awhile now.

Waaay back in February @deliciousbananavoidpurse made this post and I made some haphazard additions, but now, at last, I ramble!

This isn’t really an addition to that list so much as a... idk, seeing it from an almost fic-but-kind-of-meta point of view. Those points In Practise, with an additional young Johnny.

Johnny’s a kid. He and his mom have been living hand-to-mouth for as long as he remembers, in and out of schools, in and out of apartments and cars. Of course he’s going to be flighty, spaced-out, unfocused.

He’s an easy target – not very big (he doesn’t get a lot of good meals), dirty clothes, and… weird. He gets beaten up sometimes, but mostly he sticks as much to himself as he can and doesn’t go to school if he can help it. Laura saves up and gets him a walkman.

After that it’s like the world doesn’t exist to him at all.

She thinks that’s easier than trying to make him live in it. But he deserves better. They both do. So she makes a decision that changes everything…

Johnny’s not going hungry these days. In fact, he eats constantly, like he’s making up for lost time. His clothes are new and he gets anything he wants. He’s enrolled in school properly.

But Johnny himself doesn’t change much. He’s vibrating with an energy he can’t explain – normal for boys – he skips school, he goes off somewhere in his own mind, struggles with making friends, gets into fights he can’t win, and all day he listens to music. Still skinny, still flighty, still weird.

Tries new things that become all-encompassing for him and drops them one day to the next – normal for boys, all normal for boys – and then -

Johnny sees those boys: Tall, broad, leather jackets, rad bikes, shining, beautiful. He watches them through the window for hours, transfixed in a way only riding his bike and listening to music used to do.

He joins Cobra Kai.

And finally, like a dam breaking, he focuses. He focuses like he’s a machine. Like nothing else matters. He takes everything happening at home, every beating he ever took, every failing grade (he tries, but school never manages to matter – the other Cobras help, simply by being there and sometimes especially Bobby forces him to sit down and write a paper, but he’ll never be smart, that’s fine), and he puts them into his fist.

He trusts Kreese to tell him what to think, what to feel, what to do. Finally, finally, everything makes sense. It’s just him and his body and someone he trusts telling him what to do with it.

Nothing else matters.

There are other things that matter.

He’s getting his life in order so he can leave Sid’s and take his Mom with him. He’s going to be the right kind of boyfriend to Ali. He’ll do well enough in his final year to make up for the previous ones, and he’s got karate, and Kreese, who’s telling him he’s the champ.

Who he can trust.

But he gets into trouble, he drinks, his grades continue to slip, and suddenly (or is it gradually, he can’t tell with time sometimes) Ali is telling him he’s changed – angry, volatile, forgetful, (okay he was always forgetful, but it’s getting worse – is karate the only thing he cares about?), but it’s fine, he can fix that too. He just has to change everything that doesn’t work. If he can be that good at karate, it just means he’s not trying hard enough everywhere else. Just needs to try harder.

Just. Easy. He has a plan. He has a hundred plans.

It all blows up in his face and suddenly he’s faced with the truth: that there really is nothing he’s good for. Karate? What’s that ever gotten him? What else has he got to show for it?

He’s still just the same kid he was – alright, he’s bigger, babes will stop and check him out, he’s learned how to charm people if he has to, but those are just scripts and they don’t work for long if he doesn’t have anything else to back them up and they bore him - they bore him in ways he thinks have gotta be different to what everyone else means when they say they’re bored.

He doesn’t have a plan. He has a hundred plans. He doesn’t have anyone to tell him what to do. He doesn’t know what to do. He knows what to do.

He drinks more. What does it matter, he’s young, life’s short, there’s nothing he can learn now (and really, if you know a couple of things you can scrape by – when they turn off the lights he knows he forgot to pay the bills, when he gets arrested he knows he fucked up and let his emotions get away with him), and before he knows it it’s 2002.

His mom dies. Robby is born. Someone smarter than him could figure out some kind of poetic meaning behind that, but he’s not smart, so he just lets the moments pass him by like everything else has passed him by.

He’s getting by with what he knows. The world outside is like a blur. He’s got what he’s always had: music, a car, his looks. He’s doing okay for someone in his mid-thirties who doesn’t know how to boil spaghetti and drinks first thing in the morning.

Probably all the fighting. He kept it up, informally. Maybe because it’s too deep in his bones for him to let go of, even if it just reminds him over and over that he couldn’t take it. That he can’t take it.

He fights whenever it all gets to be too much and even the drinking doesn’t work. Sometimes he punches walls to fight himself. It’s like a sharp feeling that he can’t ignore that can only be silenced with fighting. The off-button.

2017 (again, the past is a blur. 2017? what happened to thirty-five? What happened to being young? Someone who’s young is allowed to be like this, but he’s…)

He never owned a computer. He never learned new words or anything else that wasn’t immediately important. He makes a handshake deal, because his credit is shit, but also because he never figured out how contracts really work. He still struggles with bills (you can leave anything to the last minute and beyond and things can still turn out okay), struggles with communication. His old scripts don’t work any more and he can’t learn new ones. He’s forgotten enough promises he made to watch Robby’s matches or drive him to school – even his birthday sometimes, even when he writes it down and forgets where he wrote it down - that Robby wants nothing more to do with him. Forgets groceries.

He’ll do or say something and people will look at him like he’s stupid and he doesn’t know why. He refuses to ask, because he just wants the looks to go away. He knows he’s stupid. He knows he can’t figure things out. He knows, okay? Shut up.

He’s not an alcoholic. He just drinks to wake up. To forget. To calm down (that electricity that existed in his body as a kid never went away, even though he’s so so tired. The machine inside of him that won’t shut off without a fight, won’t let him stop moving). To sleep. To drink. To do something.

He sees Miguel and has a hundred new plans. He sees the future like it’s right there and a million miles away. He was never good at implementing long-term plans. He thinks maybe karate can save him, just like it did when he was a kid.

There’s something wrong with his brain. Has been all his life. That’s not how he was told, he was given a bunch of tests and gently informed – undiagnosed it can lead to some of the problems you’ve had, it’s normal, it’s okay – like he’s dying of cancer. But that’s the gist of it. He didn’t fuck up because he didn’t try hard enough, he was always going to fuck up. That doesn’t make him feel better.

It means quitting the alcohol is gonna fail. It means he really is stupid. It means he could’ve never been the kid his mom needed. It means he was easy for Kreese to manipulate. It means Robby could be fucked up too and he’s failed him again. It means he’s not worth the time and pain that people invest in him, like his mom, Ali, Shannon, Robby, Bobby, Miguel, Carmen, Daniel -

“Hey.”

It means he’s got Emotional Dysregulation. Translated: he’s the kind of man who has to work extra hard not to cry (explains why he was such a pussy as a kid. Also explains all the pain in his chest and throat right before roughly... 70% of his most recent fights). And fuck, he just failed.

“What?” Anger is better. It’s also a dysregulation apparently, but it’s better than being weak.

“It’s okay,” says Daniel, and of course he’d think that – he’s never seen a nameable problem he didn’t wanna fix, but didn’t you hear LaRusso, you can’t fix this. Never could.

“It’s not about fixing,” answers Daniel. “It’s about understanding. It’s about knowing who you are. If you know who you are, you can make a choice.”

“What kinda choice do I have?”

Daniel shrugs. “You chose to take in Miguel. You chose not to fight me, more times than I chose to fight you in the last couple of years. You chose that you wanted to know who you were. And you chose to try being sober. Those are all good decisions in my book. Anything else… we can figure things out from here. Trust me.”

He places a hand on the back of Johnny’s neck, grounding him. Daniel has that power. The power to make everything okay for a second.

Johnny thinks: Please tell me what to do. I was always okay once you gave me something to do. Like karate. Figuring things out is… too abstract. Eventually though, he knows, if he’s patient, Daniel will tell him what to do next.

He just has to trust him.

9. (Extra: things Johnny does, because of the brain he has)

Johnny trusts easily, despite it all. He’s honest (and sometimes too literal). He’s passionate. He’s driven. He’s loving. He feels, so so much. He’s protective and he’s loyal. He tries his hardest, even when everything – including his own brain – refuses to help. He believes in second chances for others (and he’s beginning to believe in it for himself). He’s good with kids when he lets himself be. He’s learning to be gentle with himself and others. He’s learning that bravery takes many shapes. He’s learning that he can learn, and he’s learning what he needs for that to happen. He’s a good mentor. He’s learning to be a better friend. He’s kind. He’s honourable. He’s trying to rectify his own mistakes, and he’s trying not to let the mistakes of others continue to impact his life. He’s moving forwards.

#johnny lawrence #ck #cobra kai #the karate kid #nd johnny #cobra kai meta #my writing #oh hai i love johnny lawrence a lot...

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asukaskerian · 3 years ago

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Monthly word count - October

TOTAL: 5 601 words. better than last month but that's not saying much. bluhh. POSTED : nothin! IN PROGRESS -Bleach: suburban ot4 (531 words, all of which was discarded and rewritten two days ago because Not Quite Right.) -Naruto: madatobiizu Cherry Wine chapter idk, five, probably? six? no clue (1 472 words, some just tweaks to existing stuff and an unfinished scene that wasn't planned but cracked me up.) -Bleach: Grimmichi+fraccion ABO (1 125 words, mostly porn.) -Naruto: tobirama breaks the timeline to get his brothers back (335 words) -Bleach: chapter idk 4 of superheroes AU grimmichi (1 517 words that i forgot i'd written haha where did it come from) -Bleach: bloodsport (grimmichi in space) (385 words) -Bleach: psychic wolves AU (236 words) Also posted : Cherry Wine chapter 4 (madara/tobirama/izuna fraternal poly ABO) This was the month of vague "i miss grimmichi but idk what fic i want tho" urges, and serious, SERIOUS "whoops was excited and then brain skipped town between this sentence and the next and now it's three hours later and i've lost all the ideas i had". but apart from that i don't have adhd. >_> -- teasers!

cherry wine ABO -- "If he corners you, he dies." He had no idea where to start untangling that one. Izuna was obsessed with beating him. Not -- not that. They were polite at court, where all violence would be swiftly punished, but should they meet again anywhere else and Tobirama offer to... Izuna would say yes with a smile, move into his arms with eager grace, and then knife him between the ribs. He would not pass up on such an occasion to neutralize one of the biggest dangers to his clan to slake a bout of lust, that was ridiculous. Hashirama grinned harder. "And if Tobirama corners him?" Tobirama delivered a swift kick to his hamstring. His brother yelped, knee hitting the table hard enough to make the tea cups bounce. ((--)) rolled her eyes, mouth still hidden behind her sleeve, as if they didn't know she was smirking at them. "Then his tastes will officially be half as appalling as your own." Hashirama spluttered. "There is nothing tasteless about my fiancés! They're princely! They're smart! They have gorgeous hair! They have enough stamina and teamwork to hold their own against me--" "Hashi-chan, we both know you don't mean 'in combat' there." Tobirama closed his eyes and turned his face away, shoulders bowed in despair. -- Bleach ABO (IT'S PORN) -- "So your sword spirits--" "Mm-hm--" "Which you have two of, for undisclosed reasons--" "No, it's because-- mrph." Legs trembling, teeth bared, Grimmjow tightens his hold on a fistful of orange hair. "Shawlong, you need to be shutting the fuck up now." Oh god. Satan. Soul King, who the fuck ever presides over impossible shit, maybe it's the King of Hell for all he knows and fuck, shit, how can Kurosaki even be paying attention to the room right now?! How can he see or hear or even smell anyone else, remember anything else exists. Grimmjow isn't the one buried face-first in anyone's crotch and he barely can. He's gonna die, he's gonna die from wet soft slick lapping tongue and tickling raking things he doesn't want to remember are teeth. Except he can't ignore it because Kurosaki is on his knees between his feet and when Grimmjow pulls on his hair his mouth starts digging into his cunt in a way Grimmjow can't word in another way than hungry. 'Can't stay here but can't leave right now but can't be tied together when we need to move either', fuck this, who cares. Kurosaki went on his knees for him, let Grimmjow hold his head so he could break his neck if he wanted, and then just -- leaned in. Grimmjow fists his other hand in Kurosaki's hair; needs both of them to hold on, not fall, knees shaking. Kurosaki slides a hand down from under the curve of his ass to the back of his knee and guides it over his shoulder and now he needs the support even more. Kurosaki growls against him; it rattles through defenseless flesh, makes his cunt and his belly quiver with a rush of helplessly wanting heat. He wants fucked, he wants fucked so bad but Kurosaki won't, he can't knot him now and his soft little tongue isn't going to work to get him -- oh, oh, fuck. One of his hands slaps against the wall and then sinks all five claws through the cement knuckle-deep. His other leg folds under him and then Kurosaki catches him, pins him there with Grimmjow's legs around his head, strong hands gripping his ass and holding up his weight and, and -- When he comes his thighs clench so hard that for a moment he's afraid that he's gonna crush Kurosaki's skull without even knowing. It doesn't manage to sour it even a little bit. -- Tobirama fucks with the timeline -- "There." He dropped his satchel beside Tobirama's knees. Three red-eyed pairs of eyes followed Tobirama's hand as he moved to pick it up. He knew the process by then and could do it without really thinking about it. "Kawarama, go place the markers," he said quietly, pushing them into his brother's reluctant hands. "Niichan--" "It's okay. Place the markers. You know you won't be hurt, don't you? They'll take you where Itama is. You'll keep an eye on him until Anija can see to him, won't you?" "Niichan, please--" "Go put that one over there. You'll be fine." "You won't," Kawarama choked out, barely breathing so as not to be overheard. Tobirama blinked sightlessly at his own hands, down on his lap with the shortcut scroll half-unrolled. "I'll be fine. Madara needs me. It's fine." "Tobi-nii, I--" "I gave you an order. Go." -- Grimmichi superheroes -- Grimmjow did not enjoy the cold little metal disk or even being shirtless with a fever; he sat on the urge to growl, though. Let the guy take his temperature and listen to his heart and lungs and wrap a cuff around his arm and all that jazz. Let him loom as Grimmjow leaned back, on orders, as Grimmjow cautiously unwrapped his healing wounds. "This is five days old?" "Mm." "Welp, you're fucked." Curtains snorted. Grimmjow's eye twitched. "--What." "Just saying..." The man leaned in, poked around the edges of the biggest wound. "Some inflammation here but it should be a lot farther along than it is... And the muscles weren't cut through when you got here or you couldn't have climbed into my son's window like a disreputable suitor, but you have barely any core strength left right now... Hmm." "Hmm what, you cryptic asshole." Karin was craning her neck to look over her dad's shoulder without turning around; she gave up on hiding that a second later though. "Wow, yeah, I've seen Shiro-nii heal holes like that in about five minutes. You don't get enough vitamins in your diet or what?" "Fuck off." He knew, alright? He knew something was wrong. He tried not to swallow too obviously, not to tense. He didn't want to look afraid when Engetsu looked like it was all a fine joke. "Bad news, it's neurotoxin!" He caught Grimmjow's arm and flopped his hand around. Grimmjow swiped at his wrist with his claws, and missed by a hair's breadth. Engetsu dropped his hand, and kept talking like he hadn't noticed. "Good news, if you were going to have your lungs shut down on you, they would have already." "... Great." Fuck. Fuck -- "Even better news, you're a hollow, so every nerve that's been chewed through will grow back--" "--Son of a bitch--" "--and most of them will even grow back properly! You might end up with a few patches where they healed too enthusiastically and you now have a new erogenous zone." He grinned. Grimmjow started looking around for something heavy to chuck at his head.

#teaser #ABO quest

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