#mostly because it makes my back hurt

[cheeseknives]

Downloading amazon prime video on my ancient Playstation 3 sort of vibe so I can watch it in my bed

[thedreadvampy]

sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'

[just-an-enby-lemon]

I'm unable to explain my thoughts well-enough but I do think one of the reasons Odysseus is my favorite hero from the whole Ancient Greece is because I'm brazilian. Hear me out: Odysseus wins by being the cleverest, not always the most inteligent (that would likely be Palimedes, who Odysseus murders in cold blood) and definitivaly not the strongest.

He doesn't take the bow to war but that is his favorite weapon, the weapon that is stated as a coward's one, the one Paris is mocked for using. And that adds to: he refused honor, he tried to dodge his word and avoid the war. He wants the recognizement and glory (as Diomedes absolutly knows) and after they go he does everything to win (looks to all the war crimes including Iphigenia and Pilocteles) but he never wanted to be there at all.

His second act of cleverness is his failure at pretending to be mad (bonus points for the fact Penelope helped, they are two peas in a pot or however the expression goes) and his dishonorable act is what made me fall in love with him. Because dying for glory, for my country, was never really in my culture, if Brazil decided to invade Paraguay again right now even the people who deny the first war crimes would just go "heck no". When President Lula criticized Venezuela even the people that agreed with him were all like "sure but please don't go to war over it we really don't wanna". The army does dictatorships and paint roads and I fully preffer the roads.

On the other hand being clever and resorcefull those are our heros. Loyal not to a country but to their people, and very much not the most moral people. É o jeitinho brasileiro. And while it does help to maintain a culture of corruption (tho absolutly not as much as people make it seem, the corruption is waaay more because of the power imbalance, income inequality, imperialism, the belief the 1% always have that they are better and the dehumanization of the working class). Is the belief that while yes it is absolutly wrong to let's say throw an infant from a wall because otherwise he'll grow up to destroy your family, better Hector's son dies than yours.

Is selfish but it's also in a lot of ways the recognizement that glory is meaningless. Surviving and helping other people survive, achiving happiness is way more important. Our kids are not pretending to be older to go to war and if they try they better prepare to deal with their mother's rage. We are suppose to never get into a fight. But if we do anyway we better win and come back or else.

[cluescorner]

Randomized Robins AU - Ages + Worst Trait Exercise:

Steph (25):

Says her worst trait is her murderous rages (she is exaggerating for dramatic/comedic effect, she’s killed 3 people tops and for very good reason)

Thinks her worst trait is her spitefulness (one of the few traits she definitely got from her father + one that prevents her from fixing her relationships and living her best possible life. She’ll refuse to interact with someone she dearly loves after an argument (happens significantly less after Tim’s death) or will say things she knows are hurtful just for the sake of having the last word. This trait will worsen in some ways as the list of people who have wronged her and those she loves grows, but will also ease up as she matures and realizes the harm it’s doing to her relationships with those she loves most.)

Her worst trait really is her spitefulness

Cass (26)

Says her worst trait is her self-righteousness (she believes that her goals are righteous and, as a result, she is righteous. Cass becomes very defensive whenever someone questions the mission and often does not second-guess herself. This is a trait she only develops later in life as she grows closer to Bruce/learns to understand herself more/starts to love herself more. But she knows she isn’t perfect and when somebody she trusts criticizes something she is doing she is willing to listen. She just usually isn’t the one to START the introspection.) 

Thinks her worst trait is her self-righteousness. 

Her worst trait actually is her obsessiveness (she gets it from Bruce and, while not as bad as him, she will easily become preoccupied with her night-life and the mission if someone isn’t there to pull her back. She will do this to the point of self-destruction and it hurts her relationships with the people she loves, especially Steph.)

Tim (24)

Says his worst trait is his spitefulness (he actively rejects the idea of mending his relationships with the older members of the family and this causes him to also lack good relationships with the younger ones)

Thinks his worst trait is his obsessiveness (similar to Cass, if he gets fixated on a task or idea he will neglect everything else in his life in order to dedicate more time to it. Unlike Cass, he will almost never be dragged away from it unless Pierrot snatches control of the body and forces them to take care of themself.)

His worst trait actually is how manipulative he is (the KING of guilt-tripping and using people’s emotions against them. He’ll do whatever he needs to do to get what he wants, he’s not above crocodile tears. And he will do it to whoever he needs (or wants) to with little care for how his actions impact others.)

Pierrot (Insists: “Age doesn’t apply to me! And even if it did, I'd probably be the oldest. Or the youngest! I’d never be a middle child, though.” Mental assessments by the Bats have put him around 21, with a margin of error of 3 years. Pierrot has called this “blatant character assassination by my eternal rival!”)

Says his worst trait is that he is an irredeemable psychopath without any regard for the wellbeing of others (this is a lie and everyone who's important to him understands this). 

Thinks his worst trait is his parasitic nature (he literally would not exist had Tim not suffered the way he did. Plus he is a living reminder of one of the worst things that happened to many of his loved ones. He is a parasite injected into a functional person's body and contributes to his continued suffering. This is also a largely incorrect judgement of himself, caused by his actual worst trait.)

His worst trait actually is his limited sense of self (he doesn’t really know who he is outside of ‘inheritor to the legacy of the Joker (a man he despises yet also views as a father)’ and ‘chip in Tim’s brain that became sentient’. He slowly develops an identity over the course of his life and relationships with other people, but he lacks the foundations of identity that most people have. Pierrot will often almost become a caricature of himself and what others perceive him to be because it's the only person he knows how to be. This causes wild swings in how he behaves and relates to others, sometimes to the detriment of himself and others.)

Dick (17) 

Says his worst trait is his clinginess (he is a very extraverted person who likes to be around others, which mixed with his fear of abandonment after his parents died means that if he goes a few days without seeing/talking to a friend he will get very anxious.)

Thinks his worst trait is his anger issues (he gets ticked off very easily and will explode on people. He’s kind at his core and is usually very nice, but he has a temper that can escalate significantly. Spoiler (and later Twist) help him channel this anger into something positive.)

His worst trait actually is his anger issues.

Barbara (18)

Says her worst trait is her disability (internalized ableism, she thinks of herself as less valuable than the other Bats because she cannot be out there in the capes like they can. She will grow out of this as she matures and as she learns how invaluable her support for the team is.)  

Thinks her worst trait is her disability 

Her worst trait actually is her overly-independent nature (In an attempt to overcompensate for everything she can no longer do, she has resolved to do literally everything that she possibly can without any help from others. This results in many instances where she either takes on too much and winds up not being able to fully realize any of her tasks or where she makes her life and the lives of others significantly harder by refusing help when offered/not asking for it when she needs it.)

Damian (16)

Says his worst trait is his perfectionism (he is overly critical of both himself and others, taking any flaw or problem and amplifying it to an absurd degree. This is due in part to his life with the LoA (where even a brief misstep could lead to death), in part to how others treated him initially as Spoiler (any flaw was fixated on and used as a reason to either mistrust him or portray him as unworthy of the mantle), and in part due to the fact that he is Bruce’s son (the only person with worse perfectionism problems than Damian). Gradually, Damian has improved in this regard but it’s still a massive barrier to both his own happiness and his relationships with others.)

Thinks his worst trait is his perfectionism 

His worst trait actually is his perfectionism

Duke (16)

Says his worst trait is his definitely-real secret evil side (says this as a ‘my dad is a villain so who knows??’ joke)

Thinks his worst trait is his impulsivity in his words (Sometimes he will crack a joke or say a remark without thinking it through, leading to a LOT of hurt feelings and drama. He’ll say something without thinking it through and wind up seeming insensitive. This isn’t done because of malice, rather because Duke is someone who’s quick to act and speak. But while the mantle of Insight and his awakening powers have helped him with his actions, they do not always help with his loose tongue. As such, Duke gains an unfair reputation in the media as an instigator and will accidentally cause family drama through what he says.)

His worst trait actually is his impulsivity in his words

Jason (14)

Says his worst trait is his bad manners (he grew up on the streets and has no idea how rich-people society works, which he’s pretty insecure about considering he’s now the youngest kid of Bruce freaking Wayne). 

Thinks his worst trait is his reactiveness (Jason never got the privilege of planning ahead for various events in his life, so he instead needed to rely on being swift and harsh in how he could react to situations. It’s saved his life on multiple occasions and helps significantly in his role as Spoiler, but it can also lead to extreme overreactions (accidentally causing kidnapping scare after Jason ran away following a fight with Dick) and a struggle to plan things out ahead of time. As he grows more secure in his place in the family and in life, this trait will lessen but never fully dissipate.)

His worst trait actually is his reactiveness

[moe-broey]

I. Did not achieve a lot today (understandable considering the circumstances), but. You need to See.

The SADDEST. SOGGIEST. Sharena I have EVER drawn.

Also maybe a little snippet as a treat...

You'll have to fight my messy roughs and handwriting for it though 😤😤😤

[nixie-deangel]

If you are still taking emojis, can I please ask for

🍷💔🐺

🍷 Jake's family causes the hangster break up

“It’s no problem,” Mav cuts in, shooting his husband a look before turning back to give Jake a small, but extremely awkward, smile. “I’m sure one day you’ll give us, uh, the full story. But for now you’re more than welcome in our home, Hangman.”

💔 icemav break up / icedad

���Some days it doesn’t feel real. What all went down,” Tom finally answers. “But then I wake up and roll over and he’s not there. His bike pieces aren’t scattered around the house. And it hits me like a F-14 to the chest because I remember all of a sudden.”

🐺 shifter au - hangster

“Honey, don't you understand that you’re mine? That you’re it for me? I don’t get a happy ending in my life, if you aren’t there with me. If you are there next to me,” Jake states, voice cracking from how thick it is. How laced with hurt and love and need for Bradley to finally understand what Jake is telling him.

No longer taking emojis!

[toastspirit]

the ‘every problem I’ve had’ doc is almost at 5000 words and there’s still a lot of stuff I could add. yippee…?

[comfortlesshurt]

Skyler's October 2024 AO3 Recs

Boysssss, I have been slacking with sharing other people's fics, so I'm gonna work on being better with that. Below the cut is a non-exhaustive list of fics I've started/finished in October 2024 (i.e. all the ones that didn't get too buried in my AO3 history page and aren't PWP) that I enjoyed. I tried to sort fics from least to most traffic, so the higher on each list, the more it deserves some attention!

I didn't read a ton this month, so we've got a pretty short list. Expect the same in November, but December is usually a big reading month for me.

I enjoy stuff others find triggering, so particularly in the whump-focused section, make sure you read the tags first. I didn't relist triggers that the authors already noted on the stories.

More Whump-Focused

Since October's weird because of Whumptober, I'm just going to link to my whumptober reblogs tag to knock all the Whumptober fills out! I liked all of these, but there are far too many to go into detail on. You'll find a lot of shorter fics under this tag because I mainly follow people who tried to complete every day. It's mostly VLD in there, but I know a few FMA fics made it through! If you're as much of a Keith stan as I am, definitely hit all of @perpetuallylatetothefandomparty's posts under this tag. There are more than what I reblogged for everyone in this tag as well, so follow these people for more! I just burned out halfway through the month and needed a break from oneshots. You'll see 'em reblogged later though.

Swoon by Le_Tournesol: pre-Klance. short oneshot. chaotic dumbasses keith and lance, my beloved.

Even the People in Your Dreams Will Lie to You by popering: Klance, but the ship's not so much the focus imo. LONG. technically, I did NOT find this in October but I haven't hyped it up nearly enough yet, so here it is anyway. also, I re-read it in October, so maybe that counts. follows keith and lance being rescued from galra captivity. the author describes it as a science fiction mindfuck and that is so accurate. plenty of angsty content, but not like... over the top. like it all has a plot purpose. this may have usurped my previous all-time favorite fic... unfinished but I have no reason to believe OP won't come through with the rest, and it is close to complete. catch me in the comments as I work on my re-read.

The Future Freaks Me Out by gghostnebula: Klance. longfic. I forget how long ago I found this, but it COUNTS because I read it again this month. (I say as though I don't reread it every few months obsessively.) when I say my ideal fic... very Keith-focused. lots of hurt/comfort. slowburn Klance with fake dating. painful backstory that gets resolved. somehow takes a couple tropes I hate and makes me love them. heavily inspired something i'm writing now, so if you don't like it, you're gonna have a bad time following me in a few months... if this fic has no diehard fans then i am dead.

More Ship-Focused

To Whom It May Concern by heavily_caffeinated: Klance. short. a follow-up fic to Dear Reader in the relatively near future! modern AU. Cute & a nice little chance to get back into that AU for a bit. Strongly recommend reading Dear Reader first, but I guess you don't have to.

to breathe in this mirage by existwound: Klance, but pre-slash (sort of). there's time travel, so technically it's also not pre-slash, but you see the vision here. pushing that border between what I consider medium and long for a fic. canon-verse. this is 1) adorable, 2) just that little bit of angsty, and 3) so fucking well-written. (am I biased bc I love existwound? yes, what of it?) unfinished but I trust Astra with my life, so the other chapter will come.

A King and His Fisherman by heavily_caffeinated: Klance. long and finished! modern AU. sold me on dad Lance (coming from someone who typically hates fics involving child characters).

it's you that's haunting me by perfchan: Klance. long and finished! this is the first fic, but it's a whole finished series. ghost-hunting AU (I know, I also didn't think I liked those but this is different, I swear). I binge read this whole series in like... 3 days?

And just in general, here are my AO3 bookmarks for everything else I loved but didn't read this month. The include and exclude filters are your friends, so pls no bully for what I like thx. I think we've all spotted my weird niche by now.

[milfbro]

dude honestly I made a miraculous recovery since yesterday??? I barely feel any pain at all?

this is surreal

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

i think one of the things that upsets me the most about velma and shaggy's relationship in sdmi--and boy there is a lot--is that not only is her constantly ''correcting'' him for minor, harmless, and usually completely reasonable things with physical and emotional abuse, well. abusive by itself. but so many of the things he does that she treats him that way over are very autistic things, and what she subjects him to is textbook abuse aimed at autistics in particular. (including the part where she gets more and more pissed whenever attempts at said emotional abuse fly over his head, because he's too bad at picking up cues for them to land fully.)

[cws: anti-autistic ableism, ABA, self-harm, physical and emotional IPV, victim-blaming, and abuse apologism. it's a lot and it's really fucking bad lmao]

-

like. there's a lot of examples there; shaggy's behavior coming across as autistic is worth a whole post of its own, and a lot of media depicts abuse targeted at autistic traits because ✨️hooray ableism.✨️but she straight up tries to Fix Him (read: force him to perform a Presentable Personality) by forcing him to wear clothes that are sensory hell, and trying to condition him to self-harm every time he does some small harmless, reflexive thing she thinks is Poor Socialization until he stops. and to catch himself doing it, and punish himself, without being prompted. i cannot fucking overstate how fucked up that is.

they even got down the fun little aspect of ABA where the methods of conditioning-through-pain are presented as toys and kiddish things: she gives him a rubber band to wear on his wrist, and tells him to snap it as hard as he can every time he says 'like.' 🙃🙃🙃🙃

like. this does not begin to scratch the surface of the abuse she puts him through in general. and again, characters being abused for autistic traits with the approval of the narrative is a common thing in media, which sucks. but holy fucking shit! they really took the 'violent ableism that is done to autistics irl' to the next fucking level here!

.......and it's portrayed as kind of cringey, immature teen drama on both sides. the self-harm, his dread over how much he knows it'll hurt, and the extreme pain it causes him to the point of screaming are all supposed to be funny. and her arc is all about learning to accept that she deserves better, because she was repressed and had low self-esteem and therefore putting him through fucking DIY ABA didn't make her happy.

🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

anyway if you couldn't tell i can't fucking stand sdmi velma and i have a lot of words in me about it. when one of your main heroes would have made a way more compelling villain as they are, on a more mundane level compared to all the wild fantastical shit they go up against, holy shit go back to the drawing board you have fucked up. she could have been genuinely good representation of a marginalized person dealing with the trauma of her experiences in some shitty ways she has to grow past, and an interesting flawed character, without being absolutely despicable--hell, she'd have made a great foil to pericles if they'd handled him decently too. they have a lot of parallels, which only gain more depth when you add their respective parallels with cassidy into the mix. and it really fucking sucks that we got this instead.

[pink-pkmn-trainer]

.

[thedreadvampy]

it's been a strange arc so far

when I was 19-21 and having an extremely imbalanced relationship with someone in their mid 30s I was like 'we are both adults so the fact that this is fucking me up is my fault'

when I hit my late 20s and saw how young people in their late teens and early 20s seem now I was like 'oh wait I was so fucking young I didn't know shit about my own limits or about managing relationships and I don't know why someone in their mid to late 30s would be into that except for nefarious purposes'

the weird bit is now I'm into my 30s - not even that far into my 30s - and while I still wholeheartedly believe that last thing about how young (and self destructive) 20 year olds are, I'm also kind of like 'huh, actually nobody I know that age has their shit remotely together and frankly the reason this fucked me up is because NEITHER of us knew what the fuck we were doing it how to cope, for different reasons and at different life stages, and there probably wasn't any malice or intent to control as much as there was Blind Flailing.'

[nabaath-areng]

It's funny how long lasting base coat and top coat won't stop Essie polishes from chipping the next day, meanwhile I have to soak my nails with clips three(!) times total to be rid of all the Holo Taco polish, and can go for two whole weeks before the first tiny chips start to appear + seven days without base or top coat!

[6mayhem]

anyway i need to hang out with my brother again he is the one person who i am pretty sure knows literally everything about me so he's the only person i trust that i can absolutely not disappoint. nothing i can do could be worse than the sum of everything i've been doing to that poor man (and him to me) the past 19 years

[sureuncertainty]

Okay, yesterday was for crying and despair and anger, today is for continuing to live and fight and hope

[burritowitch]

there's a black label blue beetle book in my head that will not ever ever leave now i don't think