#most weight gained in a month

[fauxspirited]

i’ve restarted the consistency at the gym thing (minimum 3x a week, but averaging 4x), and….i’ve once again gained weight lmao

i am fairly certain it’s muscle because gaining 15lbs of fat, in 6 months, would ruin me.

[tinylittlebab]

ill be skinny. it will happen. ive been trying for so long now. once it was just trying to eat less and be smaller but not much real focus on my physical appearance. now its all about that. 11 years of my ed and 7 years of wanting what i want now. i dont live with my parents anymore. i have more control. i will achieve it.

there was a time where id eat 300-700 consistently. ill get that back. i will.

[lesbiansanemi]

I think… I have figured out the reason I never get gendered as a guy anymore and it’s making me have…. A lot of really complex feelings

[minglana]

girl help my mother has achieved what she couldnt achieve in 23 yrs (give me an ED)

[muffinrag]

I'm going a little insane rn, I went and donated plasma today and apparently I weighed in at 221??

I've noticed my jeans have been a bit tight recently, but that means I've put on about 35 pounds in the past six months. I know weight gain is a side effect of T but that's crazy. like. come on. where am I even holding it? my tummy and my thighs????

[mister-dungus]

Alright I guess I need to start working out and taking care of myself again 🙄

[artisanalpeanutbutter]

didn't realize how much fat i lost on my hips/waist since starting to work out until I put on a pair of looser pants today that i hadn't worn in a while and they almost fell off

[heartual]

waaaaghhh

[isdalinarhot]

I can’t t find it right now because tumblr search function is shit and I KNOW it was critically panned. But im thinking again about the post about the post about Sadeas kissing Dalinar’s stretch marks and crying a little bit

[the-ramblings-of]

i'll be like...ok here is my 11 month plan to drop 25 pounds including a detailed outline of how i'm going to prevent myself from b/ping 10,00+ calories every other day. and then be like. but starting monday obviously *proceeds to spend the next 6 hours in a b/p cycle* :)))))

[dreamlogic]

...

[bean-pronounced-bawn]

I have been eating 4000+ calories and 4 meals for the past three days and I'm very proud of myself cause normally I eat like half that in both meals and calories and it's usually very hard to eat this much but I've been doing it with relative ease so I hope some weight gain comes out of it

[butchtheworld]

testosterone weight gain save me.... save me testosterone weight gain

[wolfbane-blooms]

They should make every exercise as satisfying as chin ups and barbell squats

[sassyhazelowl]

Saw a new doctor today. She's the first doctor to ever comment that I am "very thin." The flipside to fat bias in the medical field is being thin is seen as good/unremarkable, despite it being a red flag for endocrine and other metabolic issues (+ eating disorders). The craziest thing is I'm at the heaviest I've ever been in my adult life right now.

[gor3sigil]

Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.