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#i swear that bc has only stopped my period and made me put on weight more easily
heartual · 6 months
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waaaaghhh
#🍄.txt#i lost so much weight being sick in 2021 and finally got back around to where i used to be earlier last year#except w starting birth control this is now the heaviest i’ve ever been 😭#IMAGINE my struggle with clothes the last three years. omfg#before that too actually when i first got sick in 2018 too 😭#tried on pants i got at the beggining of 2023 that i went a size down in bc my normal size was too baggy#they were borderline trying to unzip on me as i sat down and cut off my circulation GODDBYEEEE#i swear that bc has only stopped my period and made me put on weight more easily#CAN U TREAT THE OTHER PCOS SYMPTOMES TOO PLEASE#i haven’t weighed myself in months PUGHHHH i do not wish to see because it’s going to give me a very very bad complex about my weight again#*w my >#the changes w body in the last few years i am going insane please pick one range please i beg#OUUUGGGHHHHHH#it’s not even the weight anymore like i’ve tried to leave most of the internalized fatphobia in high school#but by god are clothes stressful with significant weight changes#also my mom with an eating disorder she won’t acknowledge or go to therapy for constantly being ‘concerned’ for my wellbeing#i finally don’t want to kill myself but god forbid … some of the medicación makes me gain weighte……#anyway. i yam frustrated a little bit#took advantage of old navy’s 50% off sale and got some shorts and pance in a more comfy size at least#amanda small win 💪#should be here in april 1st which is not giving me high hopes already 😭 but we move!#weight mention#ed mention
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flusteredloser · 3 years
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sugar sweet
richie tozier x fem reader
category: fluff, fluff, literally just fluff
word count: 3,3k
content warnings: swearing, stealing, slight nsfw (sexual innuendos... bc it’s richie tozier), a driving scene written by a bitch who can't drive, overbearing fluff, sonia
a/n: hello here’s a lil soft fic i wrote in a hyper state today <3 i had ‘beverly’ by ben wallfisch from the it 2017 soundtrack stuck in my head while i wrote the ending so !! enjoy
🎡
"sweetheart, if you don't put your head back in, i'm afraid i'm gonna have to marie antoinette you."
you laughed dismissively at his empty threat, feeling a grin take over. you let the wind crash against your face and through your hair, the scent of sea salt softly filling your nose. if richie thought that you were going to give this feeling up, oh, was he wrong.
despite what he was saying, the sight of morning sunlight streaking through your flying hair and your torso poking out the passengers' window was one richie wished he could get used to. despite his nagging for the past half hour, ranting about the dangers of vehicular manslaughter and mishaps, he couldn't help but beam at your laughter. 
he almost hit himself in the head for getting all worked up about safety like eddie always did, but it was something he found himself doing often with you. keeping you safe and sound was one of the few things that kept him from staying up all night. besides, you guys were going to see eddie and the rest of the losers in a bit anyways. the designated role of the pedantic worrier would soon be shrugged off richie's shoulders.
keeping one hand on the wheel, richie’s free hand never left the edge of your knee, not once in the hour-long drive. no matter how far you reached your body out his car's window, his fingers stayed glued around you. you never said anything about the gesture apart from placing your hand over his. being his was something you never got used to, but you were far from complaining.
"richierichierichie i think we're here!" you exclaim, ducking your head back inside the car.
"you sure, dummy? the massive ferris wheel and circus tent means we're close to the carnival?"
your hand leaves his to go shove his temple, "fuck off, rich."
"i know i know, you're really excited," he taps your knee, "so am i."
he pulls into the parking lot, expertly navigating his way through the crowded area before finding a space. an empty space which was coincidentally beside a sketchy beat-up minivan painted with "URIS," in fat letters.
richie laughs, "what are the fucking odds.”
his hand moves from the skin on your knee to the back of your seat, his body shifting to face the rear. you subtly eye your boyfriend sitting in the driver's seat and tried not to physically express any of the thoughts firing in your mind right then. dear god, did he look good today. you end up shamelessly staring at him as he strains his neck to squeeze his way through tight space. his knuckles turn to this ghostly shade of white when he flexed them against the wheel, his rings glinting under the sunlight.
once he finally put the car in park and shifted his weight back to you, he catches your gaze. throwing a wink, he pulls out the keys and stuffs his belongings into his jean pockets. 
you’re sure he has zero clue about the effect any of this had on you. sure, he was your boyfriend but sometimes you found yourself feeling scared at how much you liked him. this boy has you wrapped around his finger and he barely knows half of it.
you reach over and run your fingers through his unruly hair a couple more times, enjoying the way the curls bounce back. “you look so good, rich.”
he rolls his eyes at your remark, but you don’t miss the way a small blush reaches tips of his ears. “enjoy it while it lasts, i can’t let the guards recognise me again.” 
“i still can’t believe you got fired and banned on the same day, rich. that’s genuinely so impressive, you know that?"
richie rolls his eyes but you see the hint of a grin on his face, “you going soft on me, sweets?”
“could never.” you ruffle his hair, letting your nails glide along his scalp and you laugh at the way his head naturally tips back. richie had no clue why the feeling of your hands in his hair that made him short-circuit, but he wasn’t complaining.
“do we really have to go see them...” richie groans, grabbing your hand and placing it back onto his head when you pulled away.
“richard tozier. i did not pester you to drive us an hour away just so you could fold at me playing with your hair.”
he side-eyes you. “why did i agree to this again?”
“because every day for the last month you wouldn’t shut up about ‘taking eddie’s slushee v-”
“ed’s slushee virginity, riiiight,” he breaks out in a smile, “jesus, can you believe sonia never let him near one in his entire life?”
you tug his fringe towards you and the rest of his head followed, “well, now that he’s all alone there, someone’s got to be there to guide him through his first time, right?” 
he faux-pouts back at you, the mischievous glint in his eye sparkling brighter. “fine.”
finally, you let go of his hair and he pecks a kiss against your cheek before putting on his sunglasses and tipping his cap further down his face. opening his car door, you sit there dumbfounded as you watch the 6'2 disguised dork clamber out of his side with your tote bag on his shoulder.
he glances back, offering a hand as if you were going to climb out on his side as well, “c’mon, we don’t have all day.” and richie made sure you knew that by dragging you through the park, evading the guards left and right in under a minute. it was only so long before you spotted a group of idiots wandering aimlessly. bev’s bright red hair was the instant identifier, and watching this bill’s lanky frame grab a fistful of stan’s curls to yank it about sealed the deal. 
“stanley, darling,” richie yelled through the crowd, “if you wanted someone to pull your hair that badly you could’ve asked me nicely.”  “shut the fuck up, trashmouth!” stan yelled back. “wait. rich?”
you walk over and sling your arm around bev, “you guys haven’t been waiting long, have you?”  she grins at the sight of you, “no, but if i have to hear mike argue one more time that the high striker is apparently ‘broken’ i’m going to kill somebody.”
“do me a favour and kill me, bev!” stan’s voice cuts through, followed by a shriek when richie too grabs a handful of his hair. 
bev’s hand leaves yours to go smack both boys upside the head. “y’all better stop acting like children before i get fucking fired. i’m not going out like dumbass richie here did.” she eyes the rest of them, who all halt in their tracks.
“yes, ma’am,” the chorus sighed.
🎡
"ed's, i swear on your mother's smokin’ bod that blue is the. best. flavour. there's literally nothing wrong with it."
"you just called blue a flavour, richie-”
"because it can be. it doesn’t matter if blue and red colouring are the same, you can feel the difference.”
"no, i really can't. i don't understand how the colour blue could possibly be-"
richie groans, "fine, eat your mommy's packed lunch like the big boy you are." he teasingly starts to wave his cup in front of eddie's eyes.
"quit it, rich. if eddie doesn’t want toxins in his body, leave him be." ben interjects before sipping his own neon drink.
the boys huddled together around a picnic table they had managed to snatch before the carnival’s lunch rush swept over. richie and bev used to work in the carnival last summer, the two-week period spent with one another supposedly being “worse than the devil’s asscrack.” the comment itself earned richie five slaps, one each from the boys, and a high-five from bev. that was until richie got permanently banned (which you still don’t know how) and now bev carried on by herself whenever they roll back into derry. 
currently, you and bev were on your way back from the concession stands, attempting not to spill anything. you each held at least four bags of carnival foods and drinks in your arms, bev also balancing the few candy bars she stashed under her shirt. teeter-tottering your way back to the boys, richie burst out in laughter at the sight of you struggling. 
“as graceful as a job you’re doing with that, sweets, do you want some help?” he smirks, already swinging his leg over the chair.
“nope, nothing to see here,” you groan at richie’s smug grin. “rich, i swear to god if you come near me i am going to-”
“hurt me, hit me, murder me, mmhm. i’m sure you’ll do a whole lot of damage.” he winks, swiping the bags from your arms.
“freaky.” stan muttered, churning his slushee with the straw. you grumble at richie’s endearing irritating act of heroism and plop yourself next to stan empty-handed. 
“here, you want some?” stan raises an eyebrow, offering his blue slushee towards you.
“thanks stan, but he’s got my...” you glance towards richie, half-expecting to see him distributing the snacks, only to see him aggressively nudge the slushees in eddie’s face. “you know what, i’ll take it.” 
stan scoffed, “what, you thought i was offering this from the depths of my generous heart? i thought you knew me better-"
the sound of plastic crinkling and eddie’s yelp cut through stan’s sentence. 
you look back at the sight of richie threatening to pour the ice into eddie’s hair, eddie shrieking and wildly missing punches at richie. dear god, your boyfriend was such a menace. richie and eddie never spent a day where they weren’t at eachother’s throats though, but anyone with a pair of eyes could see that they deeply loved one another. rich had that effect on people, you think. he was rarely overtly loving, but it’s not like he needed to be. you guys just knew.
ben smiles sweetly between you and your gaze on richie. “you’re staring again, y/n.”
you immediately snap out of it and go to slug ben in the shoulder. “was not.”
“was too.”
"was. not."
"was too!"
you narrow your eyes at ben who sheepishly smiles in innocence. he reaches over to grab a couple onion rings from your bag to which you lightly slap the back of his hand. he groans, trying again from another angle, “just because i pointed out your goo-goo eyes at trashmouth?”
bev snatched a couple rings from across you and threw them at ben. he chuckles gleefully at the perfect catch. “you know, he’s not wrong,” she points out.
“for the last time, i wasn’t staring,” you groan.
“not about that, genius. the way you’re absolutely whipped for that dick.” she smiles. “i mean,” you barely conceal your smirk, “the dick is pretty g-”
"not what i meant," bev sighs while the rest of them groan at your words.
“seriously though,” bill asks with genuine curiosity, “how did you even end up together? how do you even like someone that much?” bev tuts from the other side, “tread lightly there, denbrough.” 
“shut up, you know what i mean. it’s trashmouth we’re talking ’bout here.” bill grins, “it’s a mystery how someone can shut him up so quick.”
you laugh to yourself, thinking about the few times you get to see richie completely speechless. “it’s not that hard, you know?” you shrug softly at the way the losers nod. you may all pretend to hate the life out of him but he always had a special place in each of your hearts. “he cares with everything he’s got, no matter what. he’s always there for you even if you don’t want him to be. i just...i don’t think he’s been anything less than...” 
“-if you say ‘perfect’, i’m going to hit you.” stan says.
you roll your eyes at stan, “fuck off, but... but yeah. it’s so easy to love him and i honestly owe you guys an apology for being so annoyingly whipped for that dork,” you joke.
aside from the distant bickering coming from richie and eddie in their own little world, a silence hung over the six of you. it was too quiet. wondering if you said something wrong, you scan over them, only to be met with six variations of a smirk. more than confused, you chuckle nervously. “i was joking about the apology thing but if you really want-”
“you said ‘love.’” bev laughed.
“what?”
“you said ‘love,’” she repeated. “that you loved him.”
“i... of course i love him, he’s..” not trusting any more of the words coming out of your mouth, you cut yourself off and gather your thoughts.
of course you loved richie. each and every one of you loved your resident trashmouth, he was one of your best friends. the two of you were the closest of friends, an insufferable duo for years before you began dating. it might have only been a few weeks since he asked you out, but it’s not like too much changed from when you were friends. 
there was only more love, more affection, only slightly more sexual innuendos (majority of them were solely just to piss off stan). 
so of course you loved him. more than you did when you were friends. which he’s gotta know... right?
“fuck, maybe i do owe you guys an apology.” you joke.
“don’t think twice about it, this is nothing compared to him. if i took a shot for every time he went on some sort of love ramble about you, i’d be fucking dead.” bev replies, “and then he would carry on.”
you laugh, shaking your head in denial, “c’mon, he does not do that.”
“are you blind?” mike speaks up. “you’ve had him since the first day you joined us at the barrens. i can still see fourteen-year-old richie ogling you clear as day.”
you stammered at your response, tripping over your words. “mike, i think you broke her. she’s become bill,” stan teases.
you go to shove stan again and sorely miss. “anyways, my point is...” 
you avoid their eye contact and go back to churning stan’s slushee. “he has my heart, fuck, he’s got all of our hearts. like, is he an asshole? sure. does he get on my nerves every other day? definitely. will he be the death of me? probably. but i l-”
“i sure hope you’re winding up to something there, sweets.” 
you snap your head up from your dreamy rambling to see richie smirking next to you and eddie squeezing himself next to bill. you feel yourself go bright red at the realisation that he had been listening. 
“i- no. that was it.”  
“you sure? you going off about me... ‘but’...” richie pushes, quoting your words.
“richie, if you genuinely think you have redeeming qualities, i suggest some self-reflection.” stan quipped. “yeah, i was just pointing how much you bother us. no ifs, no buts,” you jokingly agree.
“mean,” richie rolls his eyes, shifting back in his seat next to you.
he’s gotta know... right? 
you wink and stick your tongue out playfully, to which richie raises an eyebrow at. he glances between the blue drink in your hand and your tongue, his gaze on your lips making you nervous. 
“now, what?” you sigh, wiping the ice from your mouth and pretending that you weren’t dying to know what was churning in that brain of his. 
“nothing,” richie shrugs smugly, “just that i’ve always wanted to know how my cock looked blue.”
the comment took you off guard, your instant blush only fuelling richie’s grin. without hesitation, you lean over with a faux-pout, an act that has richie’s eyes wide. “careful there, trashmouth,” you tease loudly. “you keep this up and you’ll see how stan’s looks blue.”
bev immediately gasps with her hand over her mouth, followed by mike’s stifled cackle as he slapped richie’s back. the rest of the group looks frankly stunned, and stan’s face is on a whole different level of red. 
richie doesn’t even look the least bit angry. his jaw is dropped slightly and he runs his hand over his jaw, trying to stop the chuckle that leaves his throat. if anything he looks proud. 
shaking his head with a smile, he slings his arm over your shoulder to pull you closer. “that’s my girl,” he grins.
“yeah, that for sure is tozier’s,” bill says.
there’s no way any of you miss the way richie’s face goes red under that comment and your heart skips a beat when he squeezes your side. when no one’s looking, you lean up and kiss by his ear, absolutely delighted by the deeper shade of red on his face. 
“darl, if you don’t stop that i’m going to go as red as stan,” he whispers into your hair. the both of you look back at the boy who’s trying to concentrate on his slushee and not the blush that’s continued to creep to his neck. “i’m actually getting concerned.”
you giggle, “shh, he’s fine.”
“no really, i give it a couple seconds before eddie pulls out his medical fanny pack,” richie says.
you look up at him as you’re tucked into his side, his arm still slung around your shoulder. his dark hair and eyelashes caught the sunlight, his blue eyes glinting as he glanced back. his lips were tipped into their signature cheeky smile, almost like a cue that he was going to say something out of hand. you felt the swell of your heart grow as he raised his eyebrows, prompting what he knew you were going to say. 
“you know, earlier...” you whisper, looking down to his hand intertwining with yours. “i just... i wanted to say that i... you know... that i-”
“i feel like i should be offended at how hard it is for you to tell me you love me, sweets,” he whispers back, clearly trying to keep a straight face.  fuck.  “oh god please, you know i-” richie shushes you, kissing the crown of your head. “it’s okay, i know.” you can feel the curve of his lips against your hair. “i love you too.”
trying to tame the aggressive blush and stupid smile that reached your face, you follow his gaze over to eddie. just like richie joked, he had this fanny pack laid on the table in front of stan. you weren’t listening to anything they were saying, but you watched the way stan was squirming from eddie, insisting he did not have heatstroke. mike stood right behind stan, pinching his cheeks and periodically wrapping his strong arms around stan to stop him from squirming. bev was leaning across ben and bill’s laps, joining in and poking her fun at eddie and you notice how bill’s hands traces figures along bev’s side. ben gazes at the group of them, chiming in every so often when stan’s quips got too violent. 
it was one of those moments you wish you could freeze. 
after a while, richie whispers into your ear. “do you think they’d even notice if we left for the ferris wheel?”
you break your eye contact from the group to gaze up at him. “nope, not at all. you think you can sneak us some tickets?” 
“please, you think i got kicked out of here for nothing?” he scoffs.
“is this how you’re going to get banned again?” you grin, poking his side, “stealing tickets for your girl?”
with a soft smile, he takes your hand to subtly stand and back away from the group. with stifled giggles, the both of you manage to make it at least twenty feet without the losers even noticing. the second you two were out of earshot, richie wraps his hand around yours and begins to run, “i wouldn't want it any other way."
🎡
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oogaboogasphincter · 3 years
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Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn (Ezra x f!reader)
Summary: Staying in a hotel on Puggart Bench while in between expeditions has given you and Ezra a lot of time to develop your relationship both emotionally and physically. On your last night before you depart for your next trip together, you decide to try out one of Ezra’s kinks. Your heartstrings aren’t the only things that will be getting tied up this evening. 
Word Count: 6.8k+
Rating: E (explicit) 18+ ONLY! because this is like 80% smut
Warnings: mild allusion to a rocky relationship from this oneshot (both partners have made up and are now in an established relationship), smut, soft-ish bondage (f gets tied up), oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v sex (obvi use protection irl please), dirty talk, swearing, a hand on a throat but no choking, one (1) instance of ✨spitting✨, questionable kink shaming??💀(a joke is made about daddy kinks), comma splice, atrocious metaphor and repetitive sentence structure galore. also no beta reader, and reader uses she/her pronouns and is afab. 
Author’s Note: this is my first smut fic! i really appreciated all of the positive feedback that i got on my first fic (💚), so i thought i would do a smutty follow-up to it! if you haven’t read it and you’d like to, you can read it here. i tried my best to make this fic readable as a standalone oneshot though, so if you’d like to do that, that’s cool too! :) i think the only things new readers need to know are that Ezra’s nickname for the reader is Goose, and The Blue is a moon, like The Green, that Ezra, Cee and the reader traveled to in my last fic. also i reference the traffic light system a lot more in this fic than i have personally read in other fics, just because i feel like it’s a great way of checking in on your partner during sex. i know it might get a lil annoying after a while, but i think it’s important to keep it up. i also wanted to include it in my first fic bc even though i might not use it explicitly in my next fics, i want it to be understood that I think it’s super important to continue to check on your partner, etc. also i apologize if the smut isn’t “realistic”, as your writer is 100% a virgin skjfskdj💀 i don’t think that means that i don't know/can't learn how to write some smut though! however i would just keep that in mind💀, and i hope you enjoy it! :)🍀💜
p.s. i'd like to say thank you to @martinsmomo​ one more time for giving me the amazing request for my first fic! 💕
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gif by @skyshipper
“Go to the bedroom, strip to your underwear and wait for me.”
The patch job of your relationship with Ezra on The Blue was a success. Spending an equal amount of time with him alone, alone with Cee and as a trio boosted your strength as a group. The awkward silences and argumentative expeditions around The Blue were no more, and were replaced with friendly banter and jovial hikes. You and Ezra had made up so much that you had started to express your affection for one another physically. 
On every third day or so, Cee would go out on a trip alone, needing some time to herself. It wasn’t that she couldn’t stand the two of you - although you and Ezra occasionally found joy in pushing her buttons - but she enjoyed doing activities by herself. It made her feel like she was fortifying her transition from teenager to young adult. You and Ezra couldn’t have agreed more and supported her independent decisions. 
And on every third day or so, her absence from the pod allowed your courage to physically engage with Ezra to grow. The two of you had kept it to a minimum, not wanting Cee to notice any blushing cheeks or sweaty foreheads or panting chests when she would return. The majority of your time was spent just cuddling in positions that were a little too sexually charged to be considered platonic: a leg wound around a waist here, a hand gripping an ass there. The heaviest moment you had had was during a makeout session. 
While lying down in Ezra’s makeshift bed and mingling tastebuds, you had hiked one of your legs up and over his hips. Soon after, you felt the tip of his cock poke the underside of your thigh. He couldn’t have been harder. You dared to relieve some of his pent up arousal while still maintaining some semblance of innocence and released your grip on his hair, slid your hand down his broad chest and slipped it underneath your leg to get to his erection. You held it and ran your fingers over the tip of it, then along its length, hoping to get a good idea of what your pussy would have to take on at some later time. The moment Ezra felt the light weight of your hand, he moaned deeply into your mouth. He had then broken your kiss and warned, “Goose, in all seriousness, you should highly consider concluding your investigation unless you want to throw me into a pit of agonizing embarrassment.”
You teased, his clothed cock still in hand, “Ezra, I think we should stick to swallowing each other’s tongues and not speaking in them.” 
He had hummed in delight and grinned at you, then sighed, “Okay then, in your plebeian lingo: if you don’t stop rubbing my cock, I’ll cum in my pants.”
You both erupted in laughter, and you had snaked your hands back up his body and entangled them in his hair, taking his tongue in your mouth once again. 
After your departure from The Blue, your gang had decided to stop on Puggart Bench and decompress for a while. Cee wanted to hang out with her friends before they all went their separate ways in their new adult lives, Ezra wanted to repay the loan he had taken out for his prosthetic arm and you wanted a real bed to sleep in. Not a pilot’s chair, not a bundle of blankets on a metal floor, but a real bed. With a mattress, a comforter, a nice set of sheets, a plethora of blankets and pillows. A two bedroom suite in Puggart Bench’s most prestigious hotel was what the three of you had booked for two months before another orbiting moon made its way into the Bakhroma System for the three of you to explore. Your group had engaged in some nice, familial-like activities, nourishing your found family dynamic. 
You and Ezra had also spent quite a bit of time getting to know each other physically. While Cee would spend the day with her friends, you and Ezra never left your bed. Well, technically Ezra left the bed when he would stand, pull you to the very edge of it and subsequently use his newfound balance to pound into you with abandon. Your body hadn’t left the sheets, even when you knelt on the floor and took Ezra down your throat; your back pushed against the side of the mattress with every one of his thrusts. 
Fast forward to the present day, and it is the last day you are on Puggart Bench before you leave for The Indigo, the new moon in town. Cee is spending the night at her friend’s house, where she will be having one last sleepover with all of the girls she won’t have the chance to connect with for an undetermined period of time. You feel guilty for looking forward to her leaving because you can only imagine what your bedroom will see of you and Ezra tonight. 
While he washed your hair after a particularly exertive romp, Ezra had hinted that he had a kink that he wanted to try out with you. Without a definite return date from The Indigo, he offered that the two of you try it before you left for the moon, his desires getting the best of him. He never elaborated on what the kink is, as the both of you got entranced with washing the rest of your bodies. You plan on bringing it up tonight in the hopes of coming to a decision of whether or not you two have the patience to wait to test it out or not. 
The two of you are now putting on a facade of patience as Cee packs her things in her room. You sit in between Ezra’s legs on the couch, back to his torso, both of you reading a different book. The text fails to retain your attention, so you place a finger on the page you are on and fold it over. You shift your head against Ezra’s chest to look up at him, pupils dilating immediately as they take him in. Black thick-rimmed reading glasses grace his face, the only indication in his rugged appearance that he would be a bookworm. He glances down from his book to meet your eyes, smiling at you. He brings his right hand down, brushing the back of the dark grey metal against your cheek. You smile back at him, and a naughty thought pops into your brain. 
With your free hand, you find Ezra’s cock in an instant and palm it through his pants. His mouth drops in blissful surprise, but he’s quick to sit up and yank your hand away from his now hard dick. He snaps out a whisper, “Patience, Goose,” and places a light kiss to your temple. He gets up and walks away, afraid that you would just try to place your hand right back where it was. He was also afraid that he wouldn’t have the strength to stop you the next time. 
Suitcase clips clap from Cee’s bedroom, and moments later she walks into the living room. You look up at her from the back of the couch: still pouting that Ezra shooed you away, and he looks up at her too, standing behind the kitchen counter: hiding his erection. You both fight through your mutual embarrassment and smile at her, noticing her excitement. She beams at the two of you, suitcase in hand, and raises her shoulders, “Well, I’m going to go now.” 
She starts to walk to the door and Ezra follows her, putting a hand on her shoulder, “Have a good time, Sparrow. We’ll swing by and scoop you up tomorrow afternoon.” 
Cee smiles up at him, “Will do.” 
Ezra retracts his hand and puts both in his pockets, “We hate to bar you from seeing your friends and leading a more stable life, but we really do find solace in your company on our travels. It keeps us grounded, as much as one can be on an orbiting moon.” 
She turns so that she faces both of you, “No, that’s okay. I really enjoy being with you guys. You’re like a family that I got to pick.”
Tears threaten to run down your cheeks as you get up and rush over to her to give her a tight hug. She returns your embrace and Ezra follows shortly behind, encasing both of you in his arms. He draws giggles from his girls by placing a kiss on each of your heads, and after a moment of relishing in your found family, you all release one another. Cee says her final goodbyes, opens the door and closes it behind her, giving you and Ezra one last final smile of departure. 
You feel ashamed by the amount of heat that floods your genitals as soon as you hear the lock of the door click closed. Ezra, ever sensitive to your every mood change, pulls you in close and presses his forehead to yours, “You know we have to wait, Goose.” You nod, all too familiar with your routine once Cee left. You would wait and listen for her to walk down the hallway to the elevators, press the down button, wait for the doors to open, walk inside the chamber once it arrived, wait for the doors to close and finally start to descend to the ground floor. You did so out of respect for her; you and Ezra would never be able to forgive yourselves if she were to, for example, forget something and come back to find the two of you in the middle of some heated relations. 
Ezra’s fingers massage your shoulder blades as you anticipate the sound of the elevator opening, fully aware that he was not only dissipating any nerves you have but spurring your arousal on as well. He knows that thoughts of his fingers traveling elsewhere swarm your brain as he alternates the pressure his fingertips give you. With this knowledge, unbeknownst to you, he’s thinking about what his first order for you will be tonight. Would he introduce the kink that he alluded to the other day? Does he just want a night of repeating your default, mind-blowing agenda? How would you feel about reversing roles, and have you be his dominant and him your submissive? 
The ping of the elevator down the hall snaps him out of his trance. You eagerly await the whir of the elevator going down, and seconds later your wish is granted. Ezra lets go of you and steps back, eyes raking up and down your body twice before telling you, “Go to the bedroom, strip to your underwear and wait for me.” Such straightforward instructions to come from such an elaborate man. Ezra doesn’t waste a second in giving you seductive orders the moment he hears the elevator descending, his hunger to devour you reaching unbearable levels. With your appetite consisting of the same ferocity, you follow his instructions and go to your bedroom. Plopping onto the bed and laying on your back, you kick your shoes off, shimmy out of your pants and slide your shirt up and over your head, tossing the items to the chair in the corner of the room where you and Ezra kept your clothes. You found it humorous that he, like you, implemented the “chair of discarded clothing” into his life. 
Now in just your underwear and socks (Ezra had relayed to you that it is statistically easier to orgasm while wearing socks), you reach over into the nightstand and pull out a necktie. You had been rewarded with such powerful orgasms at the hands of Ezra - literally - that you often couldn’t hold in your cries no matter how hard you tried. The necktie’s usual resting place was in between your teeth, tied around your mouth in an effort to muffle yourself out of courtesy of your neighbors. Ezra’s mouth remained ungagged; the neighbors must’ve thought that he was trying out some new rigorous exercise regime with all of those heaves, grunts and... moans? What sort of move would cause his headboard to repeatedly knock on the wall? 
You sit and rub your thumbs on the buttersoft navy silk of the tie, patiently awaiting Ezra’s entrance into the room and later your cunt. A few moments later he comes in and shuts and locks the door behind him, an emergency precaution to protect the eyes of Cee or any intruding employee. He comes over and takes a seat on the edge of the bed. You glide over to him like a magnet and figure out a part of his kink after taking a quick glance into his hands, seeing that he’s holding rope. Black rope, to be exact, of varying lengths. He notices your quizzical brow and asks, “Spill your thoughts, Goose.” You gingerly reach out and touch the rope with your index finger, your vision moving in loops as you trace the coils. You look up and meet his eyes, those warm, curious, assuring windows to his soul that you love ever so dearly. You question, “Do you like to be tied up or do you want to tie me up?” 
He displays a faint smile, “I’d find great satisfaction in tying you up. However, I would be a liar if I claimed that the thought of you restraining me and having your way with me never joyfully crossed my mind.”
You sit there in silence, taking in his desires. You are most definitely up for this, you just approach every new romp with hesitation. You hadn’t been a virgin the first time you slept with Ezra, but no one had ever made you feel so good. So open, exposed, on display, in all the right ways. You had been set ablaze by his confident maneuvers, calmed ever so coolly by his doting ministrations. He had drowned you in his passionate love, and you had loved every single fucking second of it. It just got a bit overwhelming at times, which he would take notice of and promptly give you your time and space when you needed it. 
The rope intimidates you. It was smooth to the touch on the pad of your finger, but you could already imagine the uncomfortable burns it could give you. The tightness and thickness of the coils add to the fantasy of being completely immovable, but it also plants doubts in your mind. You voice your concerns to Ezra, “I’d love for you to tie me up, but I don’t think I’d like to start with rope.”
He cups your cheek lovingly, “Always one step ahead of me, Goose,” and picks up an end of the necktie in your lap. He rubs it with you, “I don’t want to start with the rope on you, either. I want us to work up to it.” He pats your cheek and holds up the rope in his hands, “I mean, it does look a little scary, doesn’t it?” Your newfound ease lets itself out of your lungs with a giggle, mirrored by Ezra. He turns and puts the rope on the seat at the foot of your bed, and you climb into his lap as he turns back around and cover his mouth with yours. Falling back onto the bed, his arms wrap around you like a snake and constrict you to his body. You grind your pussy onto his clothed torso, desperate for some friction, your soft moans tumbling down his throat. 
He has to pull you away from his mouth by the back of your neck, “Let me take my clothes off, sweet girl.” He gives you a chaste kiss before you roll off of him and let him stand to strip. As he gets naked, you remove your panties in a flash, and he quizzes you, “Color system?”
“Green for when I’m enjoying it, yellow for when I’m being pushed to my limits, red for when I’ve reached my limit and need you to stop.” 
“Good girl. What’s our safe word?”
“Magpie.”
“Excellent. Are you ready?” he asks as he pulls his underwear down and repeats your earlier action of throwing the discarded clothes onto the chair in the corner. 
You nod fervently, “Yes sir.” 
He sighs as he walks over to the edge of the bed and kneels, “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, Goose, you don’t have to call me that. I feel fulfilled enough in my domination with the heavenly noises your precious body emits.” 
You shrug, “It’s just natural. It’s a good girl formality, Ez. Aren’t I a good girl?”
He raises an eyebrow as he hooks his hands behind your knees and pulls your legs over the bed so you’re sitting on the edge, “I don’t think good girls let their neediness get the best of them and just fondle cocks out in the open.” You let out a devious laugh, noting his reference to your sneak attack on the couch, and he takes the necktie from you.  Your fingers run through his hair for a moment before he gently takes your wrists, smiling up at you. 
He reaches up to kiss you, and after your lips part he mumbles against them, “I’m just going to tie your hands together now, okay?” 
You nod, “Okay.” 
He gives you another wholehearted kiss before sitting back on his feet, beginning to tie your wrists to one another. You admit, although it’s incredibly arousing to watch his thick fingers twirl the smooth fabric into a knot, you grow a little bit anxious at the loss of movement. He can read it on your face after he finishes the knot, “I want you to lay back while I eat you out. I tied your hands in front of you so that you can pinch me if you want me to stop but can’t find your words.” You nod, appreciating the simplicity of his instructions. 
“I need you to use your words now, Goose.”
“Okay,” you reiterate, “Safe word is magpie. I can pinch you if I can’t say it.”
He nods, “Good girl,” and eases you onto your back. As he’s moving down your body to your core, something dawns on you, “Wait a minute.”
Ezra pauses and looks up at you with a caring expression, “What?”
“How am I supposed to stay quiet with the tie on my wrists and not in my mouth?”
He answers simplistically with a smirk, “Don't.”
You laugh, “What about the neighbors?”
“Fuck them. They should be grateful that tonight they will be an audience to one of the most beautiful symphonies that has ever been composed. And I’m not stepping foot off of this planet until I’ve heard my good girl’s clear, unabashed screams.” 
A rush of hot air leaves your mouth, enticing Ezra to come back up and push it back into you with his tongue. A moment of clashing teeth later, he retreats back down to your core and lightly knocks your legs apart. You shift your gaze downward to find him admiring your cunt, his left hand capturing his dick and pumping it a few times. He leans forward, presses a kiss to your inner thigh and then runs his sharp nose over the spot, up your leg, across your hip and back down to your wetness and inhales deeply. You can’t help but laugh at his display of rapture, his sniffing audible. He threatens you in disbelief, “My indulgence amuses you, Goose?” 
You meet his eyes with yours, twinkling with mischief, “Yeah, kind of.” 
He puts his tongue in his cheek and shakes his head, “Goose, you are being a bit of a brat.” He pushes your knees to your chest, his hands on the backs of your thighs, keeping them in place, “And you should know by now how much I love taming my little brat.” 
You are very aware of how much he enjoys brat taming, hence your acting up. His tongue licks a wide stripe up your core and a gasp escapes your mouth. He moans into you, sending vibrations through your cunt and shivers up your spine. He buries his tongue in you, his lips fornicating with your southern set, his fingers gripping your soft flesh tightly. Your anticipation of this moment has made your cunt oversensitive, so every little tickle of Ezra’s facial hair, every small movement of his warm tongue, every faint nudge of his nose and chin against your vulva makes you moan loudly. The pattern that his tongue is following suddenly picks up speed and your body involuntarily adjusts to it. Your hips buck up into his mouth, your clit weeping to be drenched in his saliva. Your tied hands lower until your fingertips are able to find his hair and intertwine with the thick brunette strands. The stability that gripping onto his hair gives you makes you hyperaware of just how close you are to cumming already. You whimper, “Ezra, please.”
This tone of your voice has been permanently ingrained in his mind thanks to your daily fucks over the past couple months. If the tightening of your hamstrings isn’t a large enough hint to him that you are close, your breathlessness is a blatant clue. He releases you from his mouth, lines of spit keeping the two of you connected, “That’s my girl, come on.” His egging on is more than you need to be shoved into your orgasm. As his tongue returns to lap at your clit, your neck arches up and your eyes roll into the back of your head. A groan rips through your throat that drowns out his muffled moans, his mouth working you through your orgasm. Your sharp intakes of air start to stagger out as your heart begins to calm down, your cunt pulsing with aftershocks. Ezra reluctantly removes his mouth from you, wetting your inner thigh with a line of his spit and your slick before pressing a kiss to the same spot he kissed earlier. The blackness of his pupils overtakes his chocolatey irises when he catches your eyes, dopamine flooding his nervous system. 
He presents his wrist, does some math on an imaginary watch and jokes, “That must’ve been a record, Goose.” You giggle and pull your hands up to your mouth, trying to hide your embarrassed smile. He reaches up and pulls your hands back down to tangle your fingers in his cowlicks, “But my desire to drink pools of your cum has not yet been satiated.” 
You swear under your breath as he dips his head back in between your legs, your voice catching in your throat when his hot breath cascades over your folds. This time, instead of licking stripes and lapping, he opts to draw shapes and trace circles against you. It sounds stupid, but man does it feel fucking good. Before you lose all self control, you give his scalp a massage, the best one you can muster with conjoined hands, as a way of telling him I love you. Simultaneously, he switches his tongue’s clockwise motion to counterclockwise and hooks his hands around the tops of your thighs, pulling you deeper into his mouth so he can devour you even more thoroughly than he already was. You brush his hair off of his sweaty forehead with your knuckles, seeing that his eyes are closed and brows are furrowed in concentration. He’s been moaning this entire time into you, blissfully lost in the heaven that is your pussy, and as his tongue picks up its pace the vocal vibrations boost your toward your release. You beg of him, “Please don’t stop.” 
He doesn’t stop. In fact, he heightens your arousal one step further than you thought possible. He notes your utter wetness and decides to fill your wanting hole by snaking his left hand down to your entrance and slipping two fingers inside you. A heated orgasm pumps through your every artery just like Ezra’s fingers are pumping in and out of your cunt, his tongue keeping a delicious pace. After your body is done convulsing with pleasure, he moves up it and stops in front of your face. 
“Open.” 
You are all too familiar with this command and obey. Ezra spits a combination of your cum and his saliva into your mouth. He presses a hand to the underside of your jaw and you close your mouth. 
“Swallow.” 
You do as he says while he keeps his hand against your neck, feeling his love concoction make its way down your throat. He groans and gives you a quick kiss before asking, “Color?” You smile and bring your hands up to scratch at his scruff, “Green. You?”
“Green.” 
Pulling your body tight against his, he hauls the two of you to the middle of the bed. He sits up and back atop your hips, pulls your hands closer to him and begins to untie your wrists. Your eyes can’t help but fixate on his hard dick, standing erect in front of you, as he speaks, “Now Goose, once you’re untied I want you to get on all fours for me,” he notices your distraction, “and if you try to pull any shenanigans, there will be consequences.” You shift your gaze up to his eyes and you swear that there’s a deep sparkle in them that is daring you, begging you, to disobey him. He liked to punish you as much as you liked to be punished by him. So, once untied, you throw him a curveball and take his orders, flipping over and propping yourself up on your hands and knees. You look over your shoulder at him to see that his face is mangled in baffled confusion, making you laugh, “What?” 
He mounts your ass and teases your entrance with his cock, “If you had attempted to grab what your eyes were drooling over, I would’ve spanked you.” 
“But I didn’t.”
He leans over your back and places his hands on either side of yours, “I wanted to spank you.” 
“I know. But I’m not a naughty girl.”
He raises his eyebrows and chuffs out disbelief, “Maybe if you continue to tell yourself that delusion, you can convince yourself that it’s true. But there’s no fooling me. I know my girl is infatuated with misbehaving in order to spite me,” he stuffs his cock inside your pussy, “Isn't that true?” He lifts his left hand to wrap his fingers around the arched column of your throat, forcing you to look up at him. 
You dismantle his lie, “I don’t do it to spite you, I do it to delight you.” 
He pulls his hips away from yours in order to prepare for a thrust and hums, “That’s one reason why I love you, Goose. You see right through me.” 
The two of you groan in unison as he fucks forward and bottoms out inside you. As he establishes a steady pace, your quivering fingers find purchase on his wrist. Even though you had slept together a countless number of times in the past two months, his girthy penetration still overwhelmed you at first, and you benefitted from at least a few seconds of adjusting. He knew this and was why he untied you; his brutal rhythm coupled with the binding of the tie would be too much for you without a little warming up. While he’s stretching you out, he murmurs encouragements into your hair, “That’s it, just like that... You’re taking my cock so well... Good girl.” 
After your muscles relax, he asks, “Color?”
“Couldn’t be greener. You?”
He grins at your response, “Green.” 
He gives your cheek a kiss before proposing his next instruction, “Why don’t you be a good girl and lay down and put your arms behind your back?”
He pauses his thrusts as you lean forward and press your cheek against the sheets. You turn to ask him just how he wants you to move, and he reads your mind, “Touch the pits of your elbows.” You twist your forearms behind your back until they are pressed against each other and the tips of one hand’s fingers graze the opposite side’s elbow. He snakes the silky tie in between your spine and wrists, the fabric gliding easily over your sweaty skin. He ties your wrists together again, this time much looser than before. He color checks you when he finishes the knot. You wiggle your arms, the amount of resistance being just right, “Green.” He hums in enjoyment and runs his fingertips down the backs of your arms, sending a pleasant shudder through you. 
Lining himself up, he places a steadying right hand on your lower back. The contrast of the cool metal of his prosthetic limb to the fire that barrels through you once he pushes himself back into your hole is divine. Both textures of his hands slip against your skin as they try to find a solid grip on your hips in order to allow him to begin pounding into you. Your whimpering spurs him on, and once he’s able to to lock you into place you both swear under your breath in anticipation. As he embarks on his ferocious rhythm, an orgasm takes you by surprise. 
Well, not really by surprise, because Ezra has proven time and time again that he can coax you to cum at a moment’s notice. 
Out of courteous instinct, you bury your face into the bed to muffle your cries of ecstasy. Ezra turns your face to the side and tuts, “Uh-uh, Goose, I need to hear you this time, remember?” 
You can barely him him, let alone understand him, while an astronomical burst of white oxytocin smothers your poor body. Unable to gain control of your composure to stop yourself, you indulge Ezra and let your screams fill the bedroom. The numbness of your mind fades away, effects of your orgasm bringing feeling back to you: the hot tears that spot your bottom lashline, the sweet soreness that the tensing of your muscles left you, the sweat that gathers in the line of your spine, the aroused slick that coats your inner thighs. 
You pant as Ezra unties you, “Good girl. Flip over and face me,” and he tenderly places your forearms to your sides. 
You’re exhausted. You can most definitely take more of his loving, but you need him to do the work, “I can’t.” 
He rolls you over onto your back, his muscular arms giving you the comfort you need to go on. A frantic, worried expression takes over his face, “You okay? Still green? I didn’t push you too far, did I? Was the tie too tight? Did I-” 
You shut him up with a kiss. You reassure him, “Yes, still green. Just fucking tired.” 
You both laugh, and he asks, “Do you want to stop?” 
You shake your head no, “I’m not sure if the neighbors heard all of that scream. I think they need another one.” 
Your dirty talk contorts his mouth into a grin of sly allure as he gets up off the bed, “I concur.” He opens a drawer of the nightstand and takes out another necktie, this one made of black wool. He gets back on the bed and says, “Let’s give them a musical to remember.” 
You snicker as he pushes both of you farther up the bed, giving you more room to mess about in. He places the second tie next to the blue one and a hand on each of your ankles, “What this next position requires in flexibility it will pay for infinitely in pleasure for you and I both, okay, Goose?” 
Your wariness is excited, “Okay?” 
He pulls your legs together and picks up the blue tie. He wraps the fabric around both ankles, beginning to tie them together, but pauses and interjects, meeting your eyes, “You’re okay with me tying you here, right?” 
You smile at his concern and mock, “Ezra, you could tie me any way you’d like and I’ll be more than happy.” 
His nose crinkles in satisfaction and he resumes tying you up. After he’s done, he pushes your thighs to your chest, bending your knees so your feet are in the air. You can’t stop the laughter that erupts from you, “Ez, what in the Bakhroma System are you scheming?” 
He gives you a wickedly teasing laugh back, “A fun time, Goose.” 
He momentarily cups your face with his left hand, “If at any point it gets too much, for whatever reason, just say the word and I’ll stop everything.” 
You take his hand and kiss his palm, “Okay.” 
He smiles, boops your nose with his thumb and pulls your arms so that they rest in the pit of your upside down knees. He picks up the black tie and does a different knot on your arms than he had done previously. He puts the binding on them higher up, which makes you hold your legs up, keeping your cunt on display for him. The wool of the tie scratches where the silk had soothed you, but you savor the friction. Ezra wastes no time in entering you again, plunging his cock deep into your fluttering walls. You brace your forehead against your shins, panting wildly. With every thrust, he hits something deep and sensitive in you, but you know you could make the experience more intense for the both of you. 
“Ez?” 
“Yeah?”
“Can you look at me?” He angles himself so he can look around your legs and meet your eyes. As you are projected into the depths of his eyes, engulfed by the lust-blown ink of his pupils, enhanced by the dark coffee that surrounds them, an “I love you” slips out of your lips. 
He compresses your body further by leaning down and capturing your mouth, “I love you too.” 
When he pulls back and his hands find the backs of your thighs, he asks for a color check. You answer green, giving him permission to ravage you. He does just that, putting every ounce of his might behind his thrusts, eliciting growls of the same magnitude from you both. The gradual construction of an orgasm starts to warm your body, your moans getting louder and louder with each passing second. In an effort to put it off, you bite down hard on your lip. Ezra notices, running a thumb across your lipline, “Goose, please, allow me to be privy to your every stuttered breath.”
“Every gasp of delighted surprise.”
“Every involuntary whimper.”
“Every lustful yelp.”
“Every plea for me to keep going.”
“Every unhinged beg.”
“Every feral scream that only I can rouse out of those magnificent lungs. Indulge my deranged wish and let me hear it all, Goose.”
His words whisk you onto an expressive whirlwind of slow-building passion. You close your eyes and watch as your orgasm transforms from a cozy snuggle to a captivating explosion; behind your eyelids, amorous red transitions to a lustful magenta. It lightens to a flirtatious and giggly bubblegum, intensifying to a vibrating, barely-there pink. Then, all at once, buckets of slumberous evergreen, pure Ezra energy, submerge you into your release. Any bit of any other color is eradicated as he pours his soul onto yours. Descending from your chameleonic trance, you open your eyes to meet his. He can see that he has torn you apart in a most satiating way, which catapults him to his peak. He pulls out of you and pumps his cum onto the backside of your thighs, his heart collapsing with joy. He smears his stickiness across both of your hamstrings and then quickly gets to work to release you from his necktie binds. The bind that he has made of your heart to his, though, is infinitely knotted, forever unbreakable. 
Your limbs untangle themselves and fall to the bed, every cell in your body pooped from the session. He asks for a final time, “Color?” 
You sigh, “Green. You?” 
He smiles, “Green.” 
He brushes the now cum-stained ties to the side and pats your stomach, stamping a handprint of his seed, “I’ll be right back, Goose.” You nod once and he gets up and exits the room, leaving the door ajar.
You flip onto your stomach, your muscles yearning for a change of position after getting pummeled into the mattress. You bend your arms to lay in front of you, elbows sighing in relief for being contracted instead of stretched. You close your eyes and rest your head on his pillow for what seems like a millisecond, but when you open them back up Ezra has returned with two glasses of water, a washcloth and a juice box. 
He folds the cloth into a triangle, dips a corner into a glass and then brings it behind you. The icy water feels good on your overheated skin as he wipes away his cum before it has the chance to dry. Once he cleans you off, he takes a seat on the edge of the bed next to your depleted frame. He sets the cloth down and picks up the other glass of water, “Drink this, sweetheart.” You prop yourself up on your forearms and gulp some much needed fluids down as Ezra holds the glass steady against your mouth. You hold up a weak hand when you’ve had your fill and he finishes off the drink. You never thought you would find sharing a drink like this with someone stomachable, let alone wildly attractive. But Ezra had changed you; you wanted to exchange cells, germs, bodily fluids with him, no matter how nasty it sounded when put into words. 
Ezra trades the glass for the juice box and pops the straw into the opening, holding it up to your lips, “Drink some.” You curiously eye the juice box: apple flavored, the carton decorated in bright and childish cartoons. You tease him, “You know, when I said I might have a daddy kink, this is not what I meant.” 
You both laugh, and he pokes after a moment, “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.” 
As you take the straw into your mouth and drink, he places a hand on the back of your head and pets your hair, “That’s it, babygirl, do as Daddy says.” An air of laughter blows through your nose and you choke on the liquid as Ezra cackles. You drop the straw and cough, “Stop!” 
He continues to laugh at you while you whine, “Why do I have to drink this anyways, can’t I just have water?” 
He calms himself down and shakes his head, “No, I want to replenish your blood sugar. Otherwise you might feel faint, and not in a good way.” He shoots you a wink and you take another sip of the juice. 
When you’re done, he puts the half-empty box back on the nightstand and lays on top of you. You joke, “You’re crushing me and you told me I have to pee right after.” 
Since sleeping together, Ezra had realized how little knowledge of aftercare you had. He had advised you to go to the bathroom as soon as possible after the deed is done in order to avoid urinary tract infections, among other pains. He nuzzles into your shoulder and protests, “In a minute.” 
Taking into account the history of his comment and your increasingly heavy eyelids, you rebut, “You know that never happens.” More often than not, when Ezra trapped you in a cage of cuddles directly afterward like this, the two of you would fall asleep and you would skip the trip to the bathroom. He grunts and moves his weight off of you, “Fine, but I’ll only let you go if I can carry you in there.” You barely have time to begin laughing before he’s swooping you up into his arms. 
After you both use your respective time in the bathroom, you and Ezra dress in matching pajamas and climb into bed. Coddling you into his broad chest, his fingers dance on the back of your neck and your lower back. You turn your head up to face him and when he returns your gaze you reference the whole night, “Thank you.” 
A smile crinkles his tired eyes, “The pleasure was all mine, Goose. Thank you for taking it all so well. Get some sleep, okay?” 
“Only if you will too.”
“Sure thing, my love.”
He gives you a kiss before you retreat back into the sanctuary of his embrace. Right as you’re drifting off to sleep, he adds, “I would like to ravage you one more time, in the morning.” 
Your smirk pulls at the fabric of his shirt, “Okay. But no daddy kink. We have to save some things to explore when we come back.” 
He hums, pressing his cheek into the top of your head before the two of you succumb to the temptation of sleep, “As you wish.”
💘taglist: @pascalpanic
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ukai-simp-services · 4 years
Text
hot cocoa
oikawa x reader domestic fluff
(could be interpreted as a female reader but its pretty gender neutral tbh)
warnings: slight cursing, suggestive content, french kissing, play fighting
a/n: this fic WILL be posted on my ao3, go give me some love ;) @ supernotcool
++ quick note beforehand that you don't have to read: ok so this whole fic was based off an actual day I had like, two days ago, but obviously I don't have a boyfriend or I probably wouldn't even write as much fic as I do. but I DID spend the day making a snow man with my dad and drinking hot cocoa by the fire so, all I really added was a pretty fluffy brown haired boy to make it cute and a little spicy. anyway. I just felt like telling y'all where I got my inspo from bc I personally LOVE when writers do that. anyway enjoy y'all, I hope there's not grammatical mistakes. im still new to writing fics on Tumblr so give me some feedback please!
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 Finally, a day off. How long has it been since your school shut down for a snow day? Had to be two years at the very least. You had been itching for a day off for so long now, especially with all the upcoming exams you had, life had become a lot of all work and no play. Same thing goes for your boyfriend of 2 years, Tooru Oikawa. Because of his strict volleyball schedule - and having university on top of that - your boyfriend had a packed schedule. Sure, you complained about work and school, but you always knew Tooru had a much heavier weight on his shoulders than you did. Still, he always managed to seem more upbeat than anyone else you knew, he always seemed to have time for you and gave you all his attention. Which is why it was no surprise that your loving boyfriend was more than excited about today’s day off and he intended to spend every second with you.
 As if you don’t already live together…
  You were seated at the kitchen table, mug of coffee in one hand and your phone in the other. You mindlessly scrolled through instagram as you took periodic sips of your coffee, enjoying the peacefulness of your apartment. In the window next to you, a moving picture of a lovely snow storm was taking place, begging for your attention. You took your eyes off your screen for a moment to watch the storm unravel before you, it was calmer than it was last night, but the wind still certainly shook all the trees. A warm smile planted itself on your face, content with the abundance of snow you were receiving, considering its been a couple years since you last got to experience this. 
 Your blissful moment of silence was soon broken by the sound of your boyfriend, slamming the door to your bathroom open and revealing his robed body oh-so dramatically. 
 “Do you really have to make an entrance even when leaving the shower?” You asked half-bored and half-amused. 
 “Don’t act like you don’t enjoy every second of it.” Your boyfriend smugly replied, making his way over to the table with you. 
 You shook your head, biting back a grin, “You’re so humble, Tooru.”
 He giggled out an, “I know.” 
  You continued your scrolling on your phone, becoming a bit bored of it after awhile. Your boyfriend circled around the kitchen table and planted himself behind you in your chair. The familiar smell of an earthy-floral cologne mixed with fresh mint filled your nostrils as he wrapped his arms around your body lightly, letting his chin rest on your shoulder. You hummed lightly at his soft touch, becoming slightly engulfed in it.
 “You know what we’re doing today, right?” The fluffy-haired man questioned.
 “I don’t, what are we doing?” You wondered, curiously.
 “Playing in the snow obviously, duh.” Your boyfriend replied so matter-of-factly.
  You chuckled at his words, you knew he’d want to enjoy the snow today - as did you - but you weren’t expecting him to ask so early. 
 “Yes, we must, but can’t I shower and study a bit first?” 
 Your boyfriend stood up from his position abruptly, making you turn your head towards him. 
 “Y/n, under no circumstances am I letting you do school work today, it’s our one day off.” 
 “But-“ 
 “Nope, no buts.” He grabbed your arm and tugged you out of your chair, “Now come on, let’s bundle up.” 
 “Tooru-“ 
 After a solid 20 minutes of you complaining to Tooru that you still needed to shower and him assuring you that you’d much rather take a hot shower after being in the cold - he was right of course - you two managed to bundle yourselves up in a few layers of thick clothing, ready for the cold outdoors.
  Waddling down the stairs of your apartment to the front door, you struggled to put on your snow gloves, hoping and praying that no skin between materials would be exposed. Oikawa followed behind you, adjusting the fluffy beanie that covered his forehead. The two of you stood before your front door, staring at the silver door knob in anticipation. 
 “Ready?” You two asked in synchronization. 
  You giggled, then tugged the door open, exposing the blinding white scenery before your eyes. Your boyfriend smirked to himself, before unexpectedly picking you up bridal style and running out the front door, kicking the door closed with the heel of his boot. 
 “Oh my god- Tooru! Put me down you idiot.” You exclaimed, immediately wrapping your arms around his neck. 
 “Not after calling me an idiot I won’t.” He smirked down at you
 “Tooooruuuu.” You whined, the noise bringing attention towards the two of you from a family in the next apartment. A couple with their two kids, who were currently making snow angels and now giggling at the sight of you and your child of a boyfriend. 
 “What’s the magic word?” The stubborn man persisted. 
 “Flatty-kawa.” You teased, only making the man’s grip on your body tighter.
 “Hey, no fair! I swear you and Iwa-chan love to mess with me.” He dropped his head sullenly, feigning sadness. 
  You rolled your eyes at your dramatic boyfriend, “Oh boo-hoo, you know you love us.” You stuck your tongue out at the end of your sentence. 
 Oikawa chuckled, then smirked once remembering his true intention of holding you like this. 
 “Oh god, what are you-“
 
  Your boyfriend responded by swinging you into a pile of snow, your body flailing in the air for a good second before plummeting to the ground with a muffled “oof”. 
  The mischievous man above you couldn’t hold in his laughter, his eyes squinted shut and his cheeks tightened as he doubled-over in hysterics at your expense. You remained in your exact position, laying flat on your back with the cushion of the snow under you as you stared up at the blue sky above you. You slowly sat up, burning death glares into the side of your boyfriends head, as he laughed so hard that he had to bend over and hold onto his knees. You took advantage of the state he was in and reached over to grab one of his legs. You tugged as hard as you could, but curse your athletic boyfriend and his very toned legs. He only laughed more at your failed attempt to trip him, but all laughter was soon dismissed as he took a step and slipped on some ice. Your idiot of a boyfriend tumbled down next to you with a frightened look in his eyes, his right arm catching his fall. 
  Now was your turn to laugh, you fell backwards onto the snow as you clutched your stomach from laughter. It took you a few seconds of controlled breathing to calm yourself down. 
  “Wow, now that was pretty funny Tooru, I have to say-“ 
  You're cut off by your boyfriend tackling you on the ground, pinning your arms down - as best as he could with gloves on - and tickling your sides. Once again, there was only so much he could do with the amount of layers you had on. Even so, you still twitched and squirmed from the contact, slapping your boyfriends strong arms to stop.
 “Please- Tooru. I’m..I’m still so out of breath from befor- NO MORE PLEASE.” He tickled you relentlessly, you were about ready to kick him in the balls before he stopped. 
 “Alright, that’s enough payback I guess.” The boy grinned from above you, clearly very happy with himself. You were too out of breath from the previous laughing plus the tickle attack to retort. 
 “Yeah, yeah.” You lifted a shaky, glove-covered hand up to caress his face. He ignored the cold feeling of the glove being pressed against his face and just smiled down at you. He leaned in slowly, lips barely brushing yours. You felt your body heat up, despite being in the snow, from his action. He teased you by not breaking the space between your lips. You tried to go in for it yourself, but he quickly pulled away, smirking down at you.
 “Tooru…” You meant to whine, but it came out as more of a breathless whisper, coated with desperation. 
 He noticed this and leaned in close again, this time kissing your cheek.
 “Hm?” He tested you. 
 “Kiss meee.” You pucker your lips for him, he couldn’t help but grin at your desperation.
 “Fine.” He gave in more easy than you expected, closing the distance between you and pressing his lips to yours. The kiss was simple, it felt as if it would be quick and he would pull away, but he moved his lips rhythmically to deepen the kiss, turning it soft and sensual. You two slowly made out, your arms still pinned by his hands and your back still pressed into the snow. You only noticed then that his knee was in between your legs, had it been there before? 
  The longer you two made out, the more desperate the kiss became. Your two bodies aching for warmth had you guys grabbing at each other mindlessly. Oikawa was the one to pull away.
 “Y/n, we have a snow man to make!” The chocolate-haired boy released you from his grip as he sat up. 
  You pouted at him, clearly flustered and he knew that. Your cheeks were tinted a rosy pink, he was unsure if that was from him or the cold weather. He hoped it was him.
 “No pouting, you’ll get more of that later, I promise.” He winked at you while offering you a hand up. 
  Your eyes lit up at his words, as much as you hate to admit it. You took his hand and let him pull you up onto your feet. The two of you became preoccupied for the next 20 minutes, evidently dedicated to the snowman you were constructing. You packed while Oikawa rolled the snow, making a dream team of snowman builders. 
  After struggling to keep the second part of the snowman’s body upright - and a lot of you bossing around Tooru to help you pack more snow - you two were finally able to start forming the head.
 “Wait! Hold that thought, can you run inside and get buttons, a carrot and blueberries?” You interrupted your boyfriend’s rolling.
 “Sure thing baby, but why blueberries?” Your boyfriend furrowed his eyebrows.
 “You'll see don’t worry, I'll go look for sticks while you’re gone.” You rose to your feet and dusted off the snow on your pants.
  While Oikawa ran inside, you made a small trip around the outside of your apartment building, collecting a few sticks in your hands. You returned from your loop around the area to see your boyfriend exiting the house with his arms full. You jogged up to him and helped him with the items, the both of you returning to your snowman. You kneeled down and again, both of you were at work. You let Tooru smooth out the lumpy pieces of snow while you prepared your items. 
  You started with the eyes, using two black buttons. Then, proceeded with the carrot, as a nose of course. Next, the blueberries were placed one after another, curving into a smile. Lastly, you stuck the two sticks into the snowman’s body for two arms. You sat back content, admiring the work of you and your boyfriend.
 “Wait.” 
  Tooru realized that you forget the classic 3 buttons on the snowman’s torso, so he reached over and placed them himself. 
 “Beautiful, baby.” You praised your thoughtful boyfriend for his addition. 
 The two of you stood a few feet away from your snowman, arms intertwined as you admired the creation before you. Obviously, you both pulled out your phones and snapped a quick picture. 
 “Ooh, almost forgot.” You tugged your boyfriends arm to settle down onto the snow again with you, “We have to sign our artwork!”
 Oikawa furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, as he had never heard of such a thing before, “Sign?” 
  You nodded, “Mhm. Me and my dad used to always make snow angels side-by-side in front of our snowman, to kinda sign it somehow. Does that make sense?” You inquired your boyfriend by looking up at him. 
  His heart absolutely melted at your sincere words, he smiled at you warmly in return. 
 “Yes baby, it makes sense.” 
  The two of you laid side-by-side in the snow, far enough apart to move your arms and legs back and forth. Once finishing, you stood up carefully - to not wreck your snow angel - and helped Tooru up too.
  You both embraced before your creations, cheek pressed to his chest as you gazed at all the love you two created. Cocoa-colored eyes flickered away from the snowy sight to bore down into yours, forever staring into each others souls. You stood on your tip-toes to place a soft kiss on your lover’s lips, one which he returned graciously. 
                                                             - 
  An hour later, Oikawa was found in the kitchen boiling a kettle of water, preparing to make you both hot chocolate. He worked diligently, adding marshmallows and whipped cream to his creations, then deciding to add a sprinkle of cinnamon too. 
  You emerged from the bathroom, hair freshly wet and combed through, but dressed warmly in a pair of sweatpants and one of your boyfriend’s hoodies. You circle the kitchen table and plant yourself behind Tooru, wrapping your arms around his firm torso. 
 “I got the fire place to work.” The boy in your hold spoke proudly.
 “Really? I knew it felt warmer in here. That’s great baby, thank you.” 
 He hummed a welcome in response, adding the last finishing touches to your drinks. 
  You pulled away as he handed you a red Christmas mug, filled to the brim with whipped cream and cinnamon. You brought the mug to your lips, noticing how your boyfriend leaned against the counter behind him, awaiting your reaction. You sipped the hot drink cautiously, enjoying the rich chocolate taste that invaded your mouth, the whipped cream and cinnamon really complemented it too. Your eyes lit up in delight, already telling Tooru that you loved it without words. 
 “Fuck, that’s delicious.” You cursed causing a chuckle from Oikawa. You always found the funniest way to say things during such soft moments, and it always amused the hell out of him. 
  You both seated yourselves on the sofa in front of your fireplace, soaking in the warmth from the flames. You sat back in the couch comfortably, the two of you intermittently sipping at your cocoas and rambling to each other about everything under the sun. After finishing your drink not long after Tooru, you placed the mug on the coffee table in front of you, then scooted yourself closer to your boyfriend. The flames of the fire had died down a little, but they were still there to keep you two warm. You wrapped your arms around your boyfriends waist and nuzzled your head in the crook of his neck, inhaling his divine scent. 
 “Thank you for today, I had a lot of fun.” You mumbled softly into his skin.
 “Of course, so did I. I wanna make so many more memories like today.” Tooru confessed, nuzzling into your damp hair. 
 You looked up at him, gazing into his rich eyes once again. It often felt as though you’d never get over the way his gaze made you feel. Years and years could go by and you’d still melt under his stare. 
 “Me too, and I know we will.” 
  He smiled down at you, cheeks warm from your beauty and the burning fire 5 feet away from him. He softened the smile on his lips to fit in between yours, caressing your cheek with his hand as he enveloped your lips in a kiss. This time, the kiss didn’t end abruptly after heating up. It only got hotter and hotter, ‘till both of you pulled away breathless. The breath of air lasted a few seconds, before you grabbed his face and continued the passionate kiss again. Lips massaging each other and both mouths full of the other person’s tongue. You tugged at Tooru’s hair, eliciting a moan from him, vibrating from his body into yours. He took this action from you as a sign to pull away and begin kissing the sensitive skin on your neck. You breathed heavily at the contact, tangling your fingers in his hair even more. After a few moments of pure bliss, you felt your lover pull away. Almost disappointed, you looked up at him with furrowed brows. He simply stroked the smooth skin on your cheek and spoke so low and so soft that he was barely audible. 
 “Let’s make love by the fire tonight, darling.”
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m4rkshouse · 7 years
Text
here’s part 2 of my kid!myungjin fic and part 2 of the fic by @astrofireworks which inspired it. i’m apologizing for this part in advance bc i hate me for it and i’m sure other people might too sdjjsa (angst warning). the other members of astro finally make their appearance, and there’s baseball!!! thats all i can say without spoiling so please enjoy!!
when myungjun is 14.5 and jinwoo is 12.5:
they’re sitting in jinwoo’s bedroom on a saturday night, laying on his bed and watching a movie on the new tv jinwoo’s parents had put in his room after myungjun got one in his
myungjun’s head is in jinwoo’s lap, as it usually was, and jinwoo is absentmindedly playing with his hair
it’s something he’s been doing a lot recently bc it feels natural for him, his hands slowly combing their way through myungjun’s hair as the older boys’ head rests in his lap
the movie they’re watching is really boring and they’ve been talking throughout it instead of watching
and pretty much out of nowhere jinwoo asks who myungjun has a crush on
and the question startles him a little bit bc if he’s honest, he doesn’t have a crush on anyone nor does he think he’s ever had a crush on anyone before
so instead of lying bc thats foolish and myungjun hates lying, he’s just honest with his best friend: “i don’t think i have a crush on anyone”
there’s a pause before he speaks again: “what about you? who do you have a crush on?”
jinwoo: “i’ve never really thought about it”
and now myungjun is a little confused bc why would jinwoo ask him about his crush if he hadn’t ever thought about it himself??
myungjun: “what made you think about it now?”
jinwoo: “a few of my friends at school were talking about how if they got to date their crush, they wouldn’t hang out with us as much bc they’d want to be with their crush”
myungjun: “yeah…?”
jinwoo: “and it just made me wonder if i had to worry about your crush taking you away from me, bc i wouldn’t like that”
and myungjun smiles widely at this, feeling his chest warm and cheeks turn red
myungjun: “you don’t have to be worried about any crushes taking me away jinjin”
jinwoo: “i just want it to be you and me forever mj”
myungjun: “me too”
and the boys don’t really realize or understand the weight of their words, and how their promises to stay together forever might eventually be broken, 
and for the time being they don’t particularly care bc they’re 12 and 14 years old and more intent on remaining best friends forever than worrying about all the ways in which they could possibly be torn apart
when myungjun is 15.2 and jinwoo is 13.2:
jinwoo begins playing baseball
jinwoo has liked it ever since him and myungjun were just little kids going to saturday afternoon games with their dads
and he’s always played on the school teams but just before summer starts, he asks his parents if he can sign up for a team outside of school
they quickly agree, as jinwoo had never done more than peewee soccer and drums throughout his childhood by choice and they had never wanted to force him to do anything he didn’t want to
but now he wanted to do something and they would never stop him from that
so that summer he begins playing the sport, meaning myungjun begins learning everything about it and attends every game, cheering loudly for his best friend and not caring when said cheering borders on slightly obnoxious
myungjun also attends an art camp 3 days a week where he gets to build on his skills
its not even a question that jinwoo goes to every single gallery and open house they have to support myungjun and he’s as proud of myungjun for his art as myungjun is proud of him for his baseball skills
playing baseball is where jinwoo meets moon bin
moon bin is only 11.4 when they begin playing baseball that summer, he wears thick glasses and has messy hair most of the time but he has a smile so bright and wide that it can compete with even myungjun’s (not to jinwoo though bc myungjun’s smile will always be his favourite)
moon bin is one of the only kids in the city who is willing to play catcher and is also good at it so he made the team despite being the youngest
meeting bin also means meeting park minhyuk, moon bin’s own best friend and personal cheerleader, much like myungjun for jinwoo
minhyuk is 10.4 and also has glasses but they look more like the ones myungjun recently got rather than the thick frames moon bin adores so much and he wears hats 24/7 (he stole bin’s baseball hat and wears it to every game, bin doesn’t mind at all)
minhyuk is very different from bin in that he’s extremely quiet when he wants to be, but jinwoo and myungjun work out that this is why his friendship with bin works bc that boy does not stop talking and minhyuk never stops listening
despite their age gap, minhyuk and myungjun get along very well and usually sit and cheer together during games
for the first time since dongmin left, myungjun and jinwoo’s friend group expands and now includes the 2 new boys
bin and minhyuk are both still in primary school while myungjun is headed to high school and jinwoo is in middle school so they’ve never really crossed paths before jinwoo started playing as the team’s second basemen
jinwoo’s pool suddenly gains 2 more swimmers and the tent in myungjun’s backyard is fuller and their parents swear that their smiles haven’t been this bright since dongmin left
surprisingly myungjun and jinwoo have been able to keep up with dongmin even after all these years and they have a weekly phone call together where they catch up on everything
they learn that dongmin is his class president and plays on the soccer team and hear stories about his new neighbour and good friend, yoon sanha, who is 3 years younger than him
and dongmin hears stories about bin and minhyuk and baseball and myungjun’s art (and he definitely does not cry the day myungjun sends him one of his paintings in the mail)
all of them are happy bc it’s summer and they’re just having the time of their lives being kids
when myungjun is 16.4, jinwoo is 14.4, bin is 12.6, and minhyuk is 11.6:
myungjun wins a major art competition
jinwoo wishes that all he remembered from that day was myungjun entering his bedroom with an envelope in hand, smile as big as he’d ever seen (unfortunately he remembers everything that had happened as it had been what he deems the second worst day of his life)
jinwoo immediately stops working on whatever it is he’d been doing and focuses the entirety of his attention on his best friend
myungjun: “okay so remember that really competitive art competition i entered that i kept saying i wouldn’t win?”
jinwoo: “of course i do, i kept telling you that you would win bc you’re the best artist in the world”
myungjun, blushing: “well i guess i can say that you were right bc i won”
he holds up the letter which congratulates him on winning first place proudly and immediately jinwoo pulls myungjun into a hug, whispering how proud of him he is
myungjun: “there’s a program at an art school that i get to go to for winning!”
jinwoo has let go of him but reaches out to pat him on the shoulder at that news: “that’s incredible, myungjun! when does it begin?”
myungjun gets quiet then and his smile immediately drops and he can’t seem to meet jinwoo’s eyes anymore
jinwoo definitely notices this and asks what’s going on while removing his hand from myungjun’s shoulder
myungjun: “well, it’s just… this program is an amazing opportunity for me to get into some of the best art schools after i graduate, it practically puts my foot in the door. and when i entered the competition i didn’t think i’d win so i hadn’t really thought about what would happen if i did and now i have and it’s all really exciting and-“
jinwoo worriedly cuts him off: “mj?”
at hearing his nickname myungjun finally stops rambling: “i would leave in 2 weeks jinjin…”
jinwoo, still not understanding the issue: “okay??”
myungjun: “and i don’t really know if i’d be back”
jinwoo stands a little shocked for a moment looking at his best friend confusedly: “what do you mean you don’t know if you’ll be back?”
myungjun looks guilty now as he continues explaining: “well i won a semester’s acceptance but if they think i’m a successful student, i can be offered a permanent place at the school”
jinwoo suddenly realizes what myungjun is talking about and why he’s so guilty and has the urge to start crying
he doesn’t, because its myungjun and he can’t do that to him and he’s so so proud of him and he knows this is an incredible opportunity for his best friend
but he also knows that this means myungjun won’t be around anymore and his heart could hardly take losing dongmin, he’s not sure it’ll even keep beating if myungjun leaves
so instead he plasters the biggest smile he can muster onto his face: “i’m so proud of you mj, that’s amazing! you deserve nothing less”
myungjun looks at him a little warily, he has known jinwoo his whole life and can definitely tell when the boy is faking something
he chooses to ignore it bc he can see the storm taking over jinwoo’s gaze and instead thanks his best friend, hugging him once more and allowing jinwoo to shoo him out of his house to go celebrate with his parents, ensuring myungjun that they would celebrate later with minhyuk and bin
the second myungjun leaves his house, jinwoo begins sobbing
his mom comes home to him on the couch, crying as he hugs a pillow and immediately pulls him into her chest like she had when he was a child and had gotten hurt
jinwoo allows her to do so despite being well into his teens bc he’s not sure he can be by himself any longer
she doesn’t even ask him what’s wrong (bc she already heard from myungjun’s mom and rushed home for this reason exactly) and jinwoo can’t help but mentally thank her for it bc he’s not sure he could even form a single sentence
the more he thinks about it the more he realizes that he’s not entirely sure if he’ll be able to live without myungjun
he doesn’t know who would make sure he gets to bed at a normal hour during exam periods or force him to eat when he’s skipping meals due to nerves before important games, tests, and competitions
he also doesn’t know who’s going to obnoxiously cheer at the top of their lungs for him during baseball games the same way myungjun does
and he definitely doesn’t know who’s going to comfort him when he’s sad or who else can make him feel 100 times better in any situation by just seeing their smile (in all honesty, jinwoo knows there isn’t anyone who could do this except for myungjun)
and then he’s crying even harder into his mother’s chest bc he’s really positive that he can’t live without myungjun around him all the time
myungjun has been around him his entire life and for him to just suddenly be leaving hurts jinwoo way more than he’d like to admit
eventually he calms down and his mother brings him tea and sits next to him once again: “its going to be okay… i know it feels like the end of the world, and i know you’re hurting, jinwoo, but its going to be okay. focus on the moment, on being with myungjun now before he leaves. hold on to every moment you spend with him the next few weeks as tightly as you can, jinwoo”
and he just nods while taking a sip of his tea bc his mother is right
as badly as it hurts, he needs to focus on remembering myungjun as he was and is, his best friend with the biggest and brightest smile and messy hair that jinwoo likes to run his fingers through
as the only person jinwoo ever saw himself spending his entire life with, the best personal cheerleader in the world, and the greatest artist ever (the last one may not be entirely true but jinwoo believed that myungjun was the greatest artist and that’s all that mattered)
so jinwoo spends the last 2 weeks of summer spending every possible second with myungjun and cherishing every single one
he hugs him a little tighter each time they hug
and he concentrates a little harder on the sound of myungjun cheering him on during baseball games
and he listens to myungjun speak a little more intently than ever before, telling himself to memorize the sound of myungjun’s voice and his laugh and the way he looks at jinwoo with the utmost attention whenever he speaks
and those 2 weeks go by as the fastest 2 weeks of jinwoo’s life and suddenly it’s the morning that myungjun leaves for the school (aka the day that jinwoo deems the worst day of his life)
and jinwoo, bin, and minhyuk are gathered in myungjun’s driveway with him, watching as his dad places his suitcase into the trunk of their car and closes it
so bin and minhyuk quickly hug myungjun goodbye and wish him all the best and tell him once again how proud they are before stepping away and allowing jinwoo and myungjun to be alone (and they really are alone as everyone steps inside myungjun’s house to let them be by themselves)
and they just look at each other for a second, trying to memorize one another even more if it were possible
not that it could be bc they had spent the entire night wide awake, staring at each other across myungjun’s bedsheets in the bed that was now a little too small to fit the both of them but somehow still did, refusing to sleep even a second until both of them were positive there was no detail of the others’ face that they didn’t know off by heart
myungjun: “i’m going to miss you jinjin”
jinwoo, trying really hard not to cry and swallowing tears: “i’m going to miss you too mj… go out there and show them how amazing you are”
myungjun, now also holding back tears: “i’m going to call you every day, promise”
and jinwoo just nods kinda sadly before myungjun wraps him in the tightest hug they’ve ever given one another their entire lives
and they’re whispering i love you’s and i’ll miss you’s to each other as they hug and as they’re pulling away they look into one another’s eyes 
and then jinwoo is quickly pressing his lips to myungjun’s without thinking, not really caring much about the consequences
and they don’t really have time to think about the fact that they’ve just kissed bc myungjun has to leave and so they hug each other once more and mutter one last i love you before heading inside and telling everyone myungjun was ready to go
tears have finally started to fall from jinwoo’s eyes and he feels guilty bc now myungjun is crying too but he can’t help it
they hug one more time just to be sure and then myungjun climbs into the car and buckles his seatbelt and grins at jinwoo one last time despite the tears trailing down his cheeks
and then the car is pulling away and everyone is waving one last goodbye
and it’s then that jinwoo finally understands the weight of all their promises to stay together forever bc he doesn’t think he’s ever felt more alone than he does right now
he’s the final musketeer left of 3 and just as he’s thinking to himself that maybe he’s better off alone, minhyuk and bin are pulling him into the biggest hug and patting his back and telling him it’d all be okay
and sure, they aren’t myungjun and they could never be myungjun but jinwoo really does love the two younger boys and he accepts that he’s going to miss myungjun a hell of a lot but at least he’s got these other 2 dorks to spend all of his time with
and just then, bin smiles the biggest and brightest possible smile he can and minhyuk has his fingers pressed to jinwoo’s temples bc he saw that in a drama once and jinwoo just smiles at his 2 friends bc everything will be okay, especially if these 2 stick around
when jinwoo is 15, bin is 13.2, and minhyuk is 12.2:
minhyuk gets his black belt in taekwondo
both boys are so proud of him bc they know how hard he works in order to practice and train
and they know how much it means to him to finally get it bc he’s been working at it for so long
minhyuk’s parents take them all out for ice cream as celebration
bin obviously gets a double scoop all for himself bc that boy does not stop eating
jinwoo and minhyuk laugh at him bc anyone else would probably feel a little bad for having someone else’s parents buy them a double scoop of ice cream
but bin is genuinely their second son bc of how much time him and minhyuk have always spent around each other since they moved in next door to the moon family
bin and jinwoo also have a small gift for minhyuk
the boy nearly starts crying when bin pulls the small gift bag out of his backpack
he definitely was not expecting them to get him anything and feels so touched that they pooled some of their money to get him something
he opens the card and laughs at whats written inside bc jinwoo might be a dork but he’s a funny dork
and so he opens the bag and sees a plastic #1 trophy and some candy and other small things
and then he does start crying bc his friends literally went out and bought him a trophy telling him he’s #1??
jinwoo and bin are kinda shocked bc minhyuk rarely ever cries
to the point that his nickname is rocky bc they joke that he has a stone cold exterior like a rock (even though they know he’s like mush on the inside)
immediately both boys rush over to his side of the booth and hug him, bin rubbing his fingers in circles on minhyuk’s temples like he had done to jinwoo when myungjun left
ever since then this action has become commonplace between the 3 boys whenever someone is crying
minhyuk is embarrassedly telling them to stop bc really he’s okay, he’s just so happy that he has friends like them
bin and jinwoo also tear up a little at his words before the 3 have a group hug in the booth of this ice cream store
and they’re just so happy they have each other, jinwoo especially happy he has them bc he thinks he might have actually died the last few months without them
they have a sleepover at minhyuk’s that night and its not said but all of them can just feel how grateful they are for one another
minhyuk puts the trophy up on his shelf, it doesn’t get taken down until he leaves for university
when jinwoo is 16.3, bin is 14.5, and minhyuk is 13.5:
minhyuk begins playing baseball with them
he’d never really wanted to before but after coming to the games for so long and making friends with the team, he decides he wants to try it
he makes the team pretty easily bc a few of the guys have moved on from playing and there are spots open
he’s a surprisingly good first basemen bc he’s flexible enough to stretch off the bag and has the quick reflexes of an infielder for balls that bounce in the dirt and ground balls
his arm is surprisingly good too so when he’s not playing at first base he’ll often play outfield
he’s one of very few players on the team who can play more than one position (bin is also one of them since he can play catcher and at third base)
he struggles quite a bit with batting when he starts playing and strikes out quite a bit
when he gets on base he can steal bc he’s fast but the only time he ever really gets on base is on the off chance that he’s walked
the team’s left fielder keeps making fun of him for having a hard time hitting by using his nickname and saying that he should be called rocky bc he’s too stiff to swing the bat
it’s a really dumb trope but it bothers minhyuk a lot bc yeah he sucks but he tries really hard, he just doesn’t see the pitches well
bin, jinwoo, and a couple other guys on the team always jump to his defence but the guy just won’t stop
so between practices and games, jinwoo and bin begin helping him with batting by giving him some tips and tricks they’ve learned over the years
bin, being a catcher, shares tips on how to guess if something is a ball or strike out of the pitcher’s glove
jinwoo gets a lot of extra base hits so he gives minhyuk some tips on how to pull pitches, hit to opposite field and timing his swings to get a strong swing on the ball
minhyuk does start to get better and his improved bat along with his incredible defence get him in the starting lineup almost every game
in the championship game, it’s tied 1-1 in the bottom of the 9th
jinwoo had worked an 0-2 count with 2 outs and managed to get on base with a bloop single to right field
bin comes up to bat and takes a 4 pitch walk as he’s probably got the best eye on the team and sees balls vs strikes extremely well
now it’s minhyuk’s turn to try and cash in at least one run here with a walk-off, championship game winning hit
the guy that’s been making fun of him all season makes some comment to minhyuk as he leaves his spot on-deck and steps into the batters box
minhyuk grits his teeth and bites his tongue, knowing full well that the team’s left fielder had struck out to start the inning, focusing on the game instead bc he knows its up to him to end it now or risk extra innings
the first pitch thrown to him is a low strike just at his knees, he sees bin roll his eyes at first base thinking it should be a ball, minhyuk shakes it off and focuses on waiting for the next pitch
he asks the umpire for time and steps out of the box, fixing his batting gloves and adjusting his helmet before stepping back in
he notices jinwoo give him a nod from second base as he gets himself set
the second pitch bounces in the dirt, getting away from the catcher and allowing both bin and jinwoo to move up a base
there’s now runners on second and third and minhyuk has an even count 1-1
the third pitch is thrown and he swings, missing it just slightly as it coasts right under his bat
he sighs, frustrated and steps out of the batters box once more, a strike away from the inning being over
as he’s adjusting his helmet once more he spots a gap up the middle of the infield, knowing that if he can just get it in play up the middle, his speed should get him safely to first
he’s then absolutely determined to get this ball up the middle
the ball is thrown and its off the plate, making minhyuk’s count even once again at 2-2
the pitcher quickly sets up once again, throwing minhyuk a pitch down the middle of the plate which he’s just late on, causing him to foul it off
he steps out of the batters box one more time, adjusting his helmet for a third time and shifting his grip on the bat slightly
he steps back into the box and stares down the pitcher, seeing jinwoo biting his lip nervously in the corner of his eye with a small lead off third base
the pitcher sets up to throw his next pitch and as he begins his wind up, minhyuk has a feeling this is coming to the middle of the plate once again to try and strike him out  
he puts the best swing he can on it, hearing the sound of the baseball connecting with his bat and immediately sprinting as fast as he can out of the batter’s box so as to not get thrown out
he doesn’t know what’s happening as he hustles down the first baseline as fast as he can, only realizing that he’s done it when he hears the excited shouts from the stands and his team’s dugout
jinwoo scores easily from third and they win, minhyuk having hit the winning run on a single up the middle of the infield
bin is the first person on the team to get to him and jumps on his back, screaming in his ear loudly from excitement
the rest of his team quickly follows bin, surrounding minhyuk with excited shouts and patting him on the back, muttering out good job’s, we did it’s, and congratulations
when they all clear away jinwoo and bin pull him into a group hug, ruffling his hair and telling him how well he did and what a great at bat it was
he smiles widely the entire night after that, literally not stopping for a second through all of the short trophy ceremony
he smiles even wider when his coach elects him the team’s mvp for his hard work and improvement over the course of the season
bin and jinwoo are so proud of him and minhyuk is so proud of himself
the 3 go to bed that night filled with junk food from the team dinner and with excited smiles still playing on their faces
none of them ever forget that game or that night
the left fielder never makes fun of minhyuk’s baseball skills again
when jinwoo is 17.4, bin is 15.6, and minhyuk is 14.6:
they’re sitting in bin’s backyard during one of their weekly sleepovers
they’re just talking about anything and everything and suddenly crushes are brought up
jinwoo begins to get nervous as his 2 friends talk bc he’s really never had a crush before and he kissed myungjun before he left and he’s never talked about any of it with bin and minhyuk
minhyuk is talking about some girl in one of his classes that he thinks is really pretty and bin agrees that she is pretty
bin: “what about you, jinwoo? do you have a crush on anyone?”
and jinwoo just shakes his head: “no, i don’t have a crush on anyone… i’ve never really had a crush on anyone”
minhyuk: “really? i thought for sure you’d always had a crush on myungjun hyung”
and jinwoo feels his heart stop beating and his eyes go wide bc minhyuk said it so casually 
bin: “me too… sometimes you two would look at each other like my parents look at one another”
minhyuk: “yeah, and you guys would talk without having to say anything too”
jinwoo doesn’t really know what to say and he starts tearing up bc wow he misses myungjun so much still even though its already been 3 years (it also doesn’t help that their weekly phone calls had turned into monthly phone calls and sometime last year had stopped altogether)
and minhyuk and bin are both quickly leaping from their seats and minhyuk has his fingers pressed to jinwoo’s temples as the tears finally do fall and they haven’t actually seen him cry over myungjun since the first year he was gone
they’re a little shocked and also curious as to what’s suddenly brought it on bc they talk about myungjun quite often but jinwoo is crying now??
jinwoo, shakily: “i, i kissed myungjun, the day he left and i-“
he doesn’t really finish bc he can’t particularly breathe very well, and minhyuk and bin are looking at him a little shocked bc sure, they’d thought something had happened between the 2 but were never really positive about it
somehow jinwoo, between bin’s arms around him and minhyuk rubbing his temples (just like they had the day myungjun left) is able to calm down enough to keep talking: “i think that i’m gay??”
and its whispered and if minhyuk and bin weren’t so close they definitely would not have heard it
but jinwoo quickly, between breaths, begins explaining how he’s never really had a crush on a girl even when all his friends did and sure, girls are pretty but he doesn’t like them as more than friends
and he also explains how he’d never felt weird about kissing myungjun, not that he’d thought about it very often bc he didn’t like thinking about that day at all, but when he did think about it or when he thought about kissing other boys it just seemed natural to him?? (he wraps up by saying that he’s not sure if he has a crush on myungjun bc like he said, he’s never had a crush on anyone, in order to at least respond to the initial conversation)
and bin wraps his arms even tighter around jinwoo, mumbling that he doesn’t care who jinwoo loves, as long as they love him back
minhyuk is silent for a minute and bin has to elbow him in the side before he does speak up, pausing the motion of his fingers on jinwoo’s temples
and he just shrugs his shoulders: “i didn’t think i had to say that it doesn’t matter to me, he’s still the same dork who was cracking dad jokes 20 minutes ago”
and then jinwoo is crying a little harder bc he had a feeling they wouldn’t care but he was still worried about having to tell them whenever he thought about it (he also swings an arm at minhyuk and the 3 of them laugh but the moment isn’t ruined)
and he’s so happy to have actually heard them say it bc their answers are all he could’ve hoped for
the 3 are just a happy and fulfilled little group of friends who will always love and support each other no matter what
when jinwoo is 19.5, dongmin is 18.3, bin is 17.7, and minhyuk is 16.7:
dongmin starts school at the same university jinwoo is going to
the first time jinwoo sees him in the hall outside the dorm next to his he’s a little shocked bc: “no way, that’s not lee dongmin??”
immediately dongmin turns to him bc dammit, jinwoo said that out loud
he looks at jinwoo curiously for a second before his eyes go wide with realization: “jinjin??”
they immediately close the space between them and wrap their arms around one another
minhyuk and bin come around the corner groaning that jinwoo left them behind and that they barely knew their way around bc they had only come to visit twice last year
they find jinwoo in the hall hugging some random guy and bin just: “uhh, jinwoo hyung, who’s this??”
jinwoo, extremely excitedly: “this is dongmin! lee dongmin! you know, the dongmin!”
and realization quickly crosses their faces as they remember who he’s talking about
dongmin: “i’m guessing this is the moon bin and park minhyuk you were always talking about??” (jinwoo is impressed bc their calls had kinda fallen off sometime after myungjun left so dongmin must have a really good memory to remember their names)
minhyuk and bin are /shook/ bc, this really handsome guy who jinwoo and myungjun were friends with like 10 years ago knows who they are??
both of them also cross the small space to shake dongmin’s hand and properly introduce themselves
suddenly jinwoo feels a small part of him come back to life bc he never really thought he’d ever see dongmin again
he wants to hear every detail about the last 5ish years of dongmin’s life after he apologizes for letting their calls stop
the 4 boys decide to go out for dinner so that minhyuk and bin can get to know him and so that jinwoo and dongmin can catch up
they end up accidentally staying at the restaurant until 11:00pm bc they get so caught up talking (jinwoo is extremely happy bc bin and minhyuk get along so well with dongmin)
dongmin decides to stay in jinwoo’s room with the 3 of them that night bc they’re having a good time and why not??
dongmin somehow talks himself into being able to share the bed with jinwoo while bin and minhyuk are stuck on the couch and floor respectively
everything about dongmin is weirdly familiar and yet also so different to jinwoo
like he smells the exact same and his eyes are the same
but he’s taller than jinwoo now and his voice is deeper than it was back then
his personality is so similar too that its a little startling
dongmin had always been the more science-y one of the 3 musketeers and he’s always loved space about as much as myungjun and jinwoo so it doesn’t surprise jinwoo to hear that he’s gone into astrophysics
dongmin also isn’t surprised to learn that jinwoo is in his second year of studying psychology bc not only has he always had a knack for understanding people and giving advice, he’s always had an interest in how people’s brains and emotions work
as they lay in bed next to each other jinwoo can’t help but think to himself how happy he is to have dongmin back in his life
especially since he’s been without him for so long
2 of the 3 musketeers have been reunited and jinwoo couldn’t be happier, even though it lingers in the back of his mind that the 3rd musketeer is the one he wishes would come back the most
i promise the ending is happy! part 3 will have little to no angst, fluffy myungjin and a happy ending i swear kdsakda
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