#most people are trying to be nice and will do their best but their knowledge of what to do is MILES away from any argument on here

[from-the-owls-nest]

mhm. what if you're too broken, in too tiny pieces, even the base too shattered to rebuild from. what if there's too little good left.

*swallow* that... that probably wasn't the most helpful answer. but I know what you mean. and I don't really have a fix or anything.

*drily, like, ironically* should probably clarify that the you in that first sentence meant me and just me. so. before you get any more ideas. because of course for Me that's Different! At least for my chaos brain tangles.

[ooc: Philosophy Below. idk brain ran away with thoughts call me if u find it /silly]

*silence, thinking over the words again* I don't know. All I can hope is that - that sentence from the movie Aria likes. When we can see no future, all we can do is the next right thing. the next little ray of sunlight. the next little moment of peace.

And if none of that is possible... Wait, and hold on, and look for them, and hope they come back soon. This is just my thoughts - my little agreement with myself. I gotta try the best I can, even if the best I can is a break from trying to recover. And then I'll know that Past Me did their best for me now and that I owe it to Future me to do my best for what they might become. Even if they weren't very successful. Like deciding that however I am right now is me too, and so I am all these things and parts, the good and the rough ones, and they all together make the full me. It's these nice little shortcut across the self blaming and infighting that take a long time to work out but help wherever they hold.

But like. I think I owe it my future self to hold on, and to get through the storms. Our past selves have come such a long way, and who knows where we'll go next, what our future selves and lives might be like. So like. I do think that new paths open up all the time, possibilities. Even if the ones now are all bad, who knows where we can still go. And the only way to find out is to try, and to do our best.

*they pull out their diary, and from the front a little calendar page* Look. I... It's one of these pages I'll keep forever and ever because I need the reminder, and give to others when they might need it. I don't know if it's right. I hope so. and I think the only way to find out is to try and hold on.

For me that's enough. That, little hopes, little good moments, even just the memory of warmth and hope and the knowledge that all that was once can come again - in different forms, maybe, but it can. *turning to lay it next to Will's sneaker*

*more silence* But. Well. That's really big thoughts, and hard to see when everything is so dark. Hm. okay just to throw some thoughts out. You don't have to tell me, you don't have to think about it, just... some ideas. Little windows into that maybe, whenever you're able to look.

what do the voices say? can they maybe be talked to, or be both a little right?

is there anything you wish wouldn't stop? or come back? any little thing. ignore realism and context all that. if you were playing make-believe, your own little world, what would it look like? if you want to we can take turns. I play that game regularly cause, well, bad memory, and i probably should start again.

and... does it have to be a *bad* hurt? like. yes. you're different. stuff happened, and it changed you, and that really really hurt. you might not be the same person as before. is that a bad thing? or, you said nasty. sure. right now it's raw and painful and doesnt fit yet. but... could all these little shards grow back together and become something scarred and mended, and different?

I hope they could. I'd really miss you - not you from before, you however you are right now and however you want to be. Idk doesn't make much sense but - people if they change are still that person, right? just... changed, by a situation or because they got to know themselves better or whatever. Like Butterflies. I'd like to see the next chapter, with you if you want or just knowing there was one for you.

Image Credit @thelatestkate and her website

Love love love characters that present themselves as emotionally open social butterflies but the more you see of them the more obvious it is that they’re the most closed off fuckers in the story. Sure, they want to help you with your personal problems and messy emotions, but if you turn that shit back on them, they’ll shut down or deflect every time. Why are you sticking your nose in their business anyway? It’s not like it matters. They’re not a person, they’re just a role being played. They’re the guy who fixes things and saves people. Please ignore the man behind the mask, he’s fine. Everything’s fine.

[grayskies2525]

Inevitable (male sneezing, contagion) | Part 4/4

Here's the conclusion to Evan's story! I'm glad to see so many people enjoying my gross fantasies!

Part one Part two Part three

Word count: 2,700

CW: mess, contagion

* * *

Evan walks to and from work every day. He doesn’t live far and everyone in this city walks most places. It’s that or take a bus, or the subway — neither of which are options for him in his current state even if he wants nothing more than to just sit down. He simply can’t endure any more potential opportunities for nose-related disasters.

No, what Evan needs is to walk home as quickly as he can while trying to mitigate — to the best of his ability —  the effects from the disaster that is his nose.

He’s doing a great job, if he does say so himself. Yes, he’s sneezing. Yes, he’s a snotty mess. But, he’s also equipped with an entire box of tissues that he stole from the store’s break room — considering his paychecks versus the amount of money the corporation takes in, Evan feels they owe him a box of tissues at the very least — and has captured each drip and sneeze deftly into the little white squares.

The sneezes are hard, fast, and relentless. As he walks, to distract himself, he begins a kind of game. If he were to title the game, Evan imagines it being something akin to “How many seconds can Evan go without a sneeze before he makes it home?”

So far, his record is twenty-eight seconds. He recognizes the absurdity of this. He doubts anyone else in any universe has ever sneezed this much in just half a day. He almost feels a sense of pride at the knowledge that he must be setting some kind of record, but then he also recognizes how absurd that is, so he brushes it away. 

“HEH eh’TshUUHHH!”

Another sneeze perfectly captured into a tissue. 

He smiles — literally smiles — at the accomplishment. This is what his life has become. He can not wait to finally get his degree so he can feel proud of something that holds a little more weight than “managed not to sneeze on everyone in sight.”

He mentally resets the timer in his head. As odd as the game is, it certainly does help pass the time. He only has a few more minutes until he reaches the sanctuary of his nice, warm bed.

Thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three….

Evan wonders if he can make it a whole minute. He doubts it. He already feels another budding tickle. But he’s going to try. 

“HEH!”

No, no, no! He WILL make it a minute without a sneeze. He doesn’t care how arbitrary of a goal it is. It’s still a goal — something he has alarmingly few of these days — and he’s going to meet it.

“HEH HHH HEHhhhHHHH!”

Forty-three, forty-four, forty-five….

“Heehh Ehhh Eh HHhhH!”

Forty-nine, fifty, fifty-one, fifty-two….

“Excuse me sir, I hate to bother you, but could you tell me where —”

“EDT’SHHuuuuHHHH!”

And just like that, the pretty stranger’s pale skin is covered in a plethora of droplets, glistening in the sunlight. 

“Uhb, I’b sor— heh— sorry,” Evan says, rubbing his nose with a tissue.

The stranger gives a tight smile before brushing off her face in a futile attempt to clear away the droplets. He’s sure all she does is smear them around. They’re undoubtedly laden with viruses, anyway, so he knows she’s doomed. Just like all the other people who have been unfortunate to come into contact with him today. Just like he, himself, was three days ago in that elevator.

“It’s um… It’s fine,” the stranger says.

“Uhb, you were aski’g about directiods? I bay be able to hehhh —”

The woman is walking so briskly, she’s practically running from Evan. “That’s okay! I remember where it is now. Thanks!” she calls out before somehow walking away even more quickly.

It’s a good thing she does because Evan snaps forward, hands on his thighs, and lets out what must be the most violent sneeze he’s had in his entire life.

“HEH-RRrrreeeEHHHSHuuuHHHHHH!”

It sounds more like a scream than a sneeze, though the resulting heavy spray, thick smell, and the strand of snot dangling precariously from his left nostril are all clear indicators that it was, indeed, a sneeze — a massive one. 

It’s like his body is desperately fighting with all it has in it to get this cold out of him. He’d be more than happy to let it, if it weren’t such a violent — and contagious — action. His head is throbbing and his throat is wrecked.  

He goes to wipe off the strand from his nose with a tissue, but he’s too late and he watches in resignation as the drop hits the concrete. 

At this point, people are giving him a wide berth. He tries not to pay attention to anyone’s expression, but he still can’t miss the scowls and noses scrunched up in disgust. It’s not like he can even blame them.

He hangs his head, clutches his tissue box tightly against himself, and tries to make himself take up the least amount of space possible. He needs to get home without causing any more scenes.

* * *

How could he forget his keys?

Evan’s been an adult for over a decade now, and he’s never done something as senseless as locking himself outside his apartment. He supposes having a cold from the deepest depths of Hell could be to blame for his forgetfulness.

He’s currently slumped against his apartment door, tissue box in his lap. There’s probably a better choice he can make besides this one, but he’s already here and moving his body any more sounds like the worst idea in the entire world. He feebly zips up jacket to ward off the chill, and even that small action wipes out the remaining energy he had.

His phone buzzes and he quickly unlocks it to read the message.

Marcus: 😂 Usually it's me forgetting the keys. i’m on a date w mia but we’re almost finished eating. she’s gotta go to work soon anyway. hang tight. be there in abt 20

Evan breathes out a sigh of relief, then begins typing.

Evan: THANK you. Could you also possibly pick up some cold meds on your way? If you have the money? I’ll pay you back Friday.

A minute or two goes by while Evan waits for the response. He closes his eyes and leans more heavily against the door. He opens his eyes halfway when he hears footsteps. The person is someone he doesn’t recognize — so probably just someone visiting someone on the floor. The stranger gives Evan a quick look before quickening their pace as they walk down the hall.

The phone’s buzz jerks Evan out of the doze he’d slipped into. He groggily takes his phone and glances down at it.

Marcus: stuff’s like ten dollars, man. i mean, if you really need it tho, i can charge it to my credit card.

Evan sighs. He gets it. Money’s incredibly tight for both of them. Between the two of them, they can just barely manage to make rent each month. 

Evan: Nvm. I’ll just tough it out.

After hitting “send” on the message, Evan allows his eyes to close, resting his head against the door frame.

* * *

“Evan?”

The way the man says his name, Evan suspects it’s not the first time he’s said it.

Evan groans before beginning the exhausting process of opening his eyes. 

“Ahh, so you are alive. I was beginning to wonder,” Marcus says with a smirk. 

Evan groans again.

“Are you drunk or something?” Marcus asks, his eyebrows shooting up.

Evan tries to glare. “Ndo,” he says indignantly, though he likely diminishes the effect with his subsequent thick snort. “Imb just sigck. A’d cold a’d tired. Just wadda lie dowd,” he says, weakly, before he starts coughing — the sounds heavy and wet. 

Marcus scans Evan up and down, likely taking in Evan’s slumped posture, his lap covered in an innumerable amount of used tissues, and however his face looks — something Evan doesn’t even want to think about.

Marcus sighs. “Leave it to you to nearly die from the common cold. Let’s get you inside, then.”

* * *

As much as Evan had wanted to crawl into bed, upon entering the apartment it was as if he’d lost all control of his legs. They’d immediately taken him to the couch where he’d instantly curled up on his side.

He lies on his back, now, clasping a tissue to his nose as he blows and blows. He’s read that you’re not actually supposed to blow your nose — that the pressure causes the germs to blow back into the sinus cavity, which can lead to sinus infections. But he has no doubt that without blowing, he’d literally choke to death on his own snot.

“EDT’shhUUH! ECK’SHUUH!” 

The sneezes are hard, sharp, and wet. He feels the moisture sliding down his chin despite the fact he’d had a tissue over his nose. He sighs, then wipes off the mess.

“Okay, Nurse Marcus is here with your first dose of medicine,” Marcus says as he comes toward Evan. He takes a seat on the coffee table across from Evan. Evan notices the small cup of liquid in his hand.

Evan’s brows knit. “But I thought you wered’t goi’ig to buy the medicide.” Evan has given up on being able to pronounce m’s and n’s any time soon. 

“In the three years we’ve been roommates, you’ve never asked me to buy you anything, so I figured it must be bad. So yeah, I went ahead and bought it. But, damn, I still wasn’t expecting this,” Marcus says, gesturing to Evan with his free hand. “I didn’t know it was possible for someone’s nose to be that red. I thought that was, like, a cartoon thing. But, no, here you are totally Rodolphing it. It’s almost impressive.”

“Yeah, I kdow, I mbust loogk like shit. Cad I please have the bedicide dow? I bead, thagck you for buyi’g it of course, a’d all that, but really, I thidk I deed it, like dow,” Evan says before  proceeding to cough horrendously.

Marcus grimaces, but hands the liquid over to Evan. Evan manages to swallow the substance before he sneezes into the air three times in a row.

“You kdow, it’s probably a good thi’g you bought this because dow we’ll have sombe for when you combe dowd with this,” Evan says.

Marcus snorts in amusement. “Don’t worry about that. I haven’t been sick in years. Just one of the many benefits of a healthy diet and regular exercise,” he says, looking so smug Evan wishes he could throw something at his face. 

Instead, Evan glares. “You are so addoyigck for that.”

Marcus leans in closer from his spot on the table. “I’m sorry. I’m so what? It’s hard to understand you because you’re so full of snot.”

Evan glares again, then snorts thickly. “Addoyi’g. You are HH EDTChUUUuuuhhh!”

If Evan hadn’t turned on his side to face Marcus, Marcus may have had a chance. But Evan did turn on his side, so Marcus’s face receives quite the generous amount of spray. 

“Sorry,” Evan mumbles. At this rate, he’s apologizing almost as much as he’s sneezing.

Marcus blinks, then wipes off his face with his arm. “It’s fine. Don’t worry. My immune system can handle it.”

Evan doesn’t think anyone’s immune system is equipped for this thing, but he sure hopes Marcus’s is. This feeling only increases as the evening goes on. 

Sometimes Evan forgets how nice Marcus can be. They’ve lived together for a few years now, and Evan definitely considers him a friend, but they’re both busy and despite being roommates, their paths don’t always often cross. But Marcus does nice little things for him throughout the rest of the day  — covering up his poor pathetic body with blankets, bringing him more medicine, and even cooking ramen for him (since it turns out they didn’t actually have any Campbells). He also makes sure Evan has a hefty supply of toilet paper roll — after he ran out of tissues —  and a wastebasket conveniently placed next to him.

Most importantly, he doesn’t complain when Evan launches sneeze after sneeze into the air. Marcus assured him any damage has already been done, and when Evan thinks back to the droplets coating his face from that full on sneeze he’d directed at him — well, Evan figures he’s probably right.

Evan spends the rest of the day nestled in blankets on the couch, dozing in and out of sleep, while Marcus plays movies on the TV and keeps him company. 

After the morning he had, he considers the evening to be perfect. Or, relatively perfect, at least. He’s sicker than he’s ever been, but he’s warm and comfortable. Or, mostly comfortable — his congestion, sneezing, and the painfully raw skin around the edges of his nostrils beg for his almost constant attention. But most importantly, he’s no longer drenching people in his germs. 

And Evan couldn’t really ask for more.

* * *

Marcus does come down with the cold, of course. Trevor, too. And seemingly everyone Evan knows. 

When Evan returns to work five days later — still sniffling and coughing, but mostly functioning — he gives a feeble attempt at defending himself. He mentions it could have been Courtney who got almost their entire team sick. She did, after all, go home sick the same day as Evan. But that argument quickly unravels when someone points out Courtney had a stomach bug. And everyone who’s called off has been hacking up their lungs and sneezing non-stop. 

So, Evan reluctantly admits that perhaps there’s a slight possibility he may be responsible for starting a minor cold outbreak in the store. 

To make an already embarrassing situation worse, his boss shows him an online survey that makes him blush. In the survey, a customer mentions how the store lets “unhygienic” employees interact with customers and relays how she “came down with the worst cold of her life” after a rude manager “purposefully sneezed all over her just because he didn’t want to do his job.”

After he leaves the store feeling stressed — having only three people to work the registers and the sales floor does not make for a good shift — he heads to school for his evening class.

* * *

As he stands in the elevator, his eyes widen when he sees who steps inside. 

It’s him.

The instructor who’s single-handedly responsible for the most humiliating day of Evan’s life.

The man gives Evan a quick, friendly smile before clear recognition settles over his face. Evan tries not to glare as he uses a tissue to quickly wipe at his nose. 

It’s awkward for a few seconds until the man speaks. “Listen, um…. Gosh, I don’t even know what to say,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “Just…. Did I get you sick? Be honest.”

Evan blows his nose — perhaps more dramatically than necessary — and this time does glare at the man. “Yeah. You got me sick,” he states, simply. “I’m just now getting over it.”

The man winces. “I am so sorry.”

There is so much genuine sympathy and regret etched into the man’s expression that Evan finds himself softening. “It’s fine. You couldn’t help it,” he finally says. 

The elevator dings and the two get off on the same floor, but they both stay stopped outside the doors. “Listen,” the instructor begins. “Was it, like, the most sick you’ve ever been? I’ve never had anything like that in my life.”

Evan gives a wry laugh. “Hands-down the sneeziest and snottiest I’ve ever been.”

“Right?” the man says, emphatically.  “Again, I am so sorry. I can’t apologize enough.”

Evan offers a small smile. “It’s okay, really. I don’t think anyone stands a chance at not getting that cold. It really wants to spread. I was doomed the moment I got on that elevator,” he says giving an exaggerated, forlorn look. 

The instructor smiles. “For sure. Thank you for being so understanding.”

The two exchange more pleasantries before they walk off to their respective classes.

The guy’s nice and Evan doesn’t have it in him to resent him any longer. 

After all, Evan knows now from personal experience that with a cold like that — sneezing all over everyone you come across is simply inevitable. 

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[foldingfittedsheets]

FFS’ Guide to Mattresses:

The following is a non-comprehensive list of questions I get asked a lot and is hopefully a good resource for anyone looking for a new mattress. I am not a scientist. I just sell beds. All bed knowledge is centered in the US, my apologies to international folks.

If this guide proves helpful you can consider popping a tip over on my Ko-fi to say thanks!

What’s the first step?

Well, first thing is gonna seem kind’ve obvious but a lot of people get mattresses secondhand and don’t think about it. Determine the feel you like! There’s no reason to sleep on a hard bed unless you like it, it’s not any better for your back. The three standard feels are firm, medium, and soft. Soft is called plush for stupid reasons. So find out which you like! It’ll narrow down what you look at, and save you time.

When trying out mattresses, use an A-B method. Do not compare every bed. Compare two at a time, otherwise you end up a confused mess. Pick one between the two that you like better, then put that one up against the next choice.

When you eliminate a bed it’s dead to you. Forget it. It was not as good as your new favorite and does not deserve to be remembered. If you cannot pick between two you will be tempted to try a third- this is the devil talking. A third will just make your life harder. If you truly can’t pick between beds that are comparable and they both feel nice after feeling your feelings then pick the cheaper one.

Lastly, mattresses are a huge example of “you get what you pay for”. Investing will pay off. Don’t get sticker shocked, budget what you can but know that mattresses can be freakin expensive. If you go into a store and see $5000 price tags, don’t worry, that’s not all they carry, but focus on the feel of the bed at first rather than price tag.

If you find one you love but it’s too much, the salesperson will know a comparable roll down or will usually try to help you get a deal. If you can admit, “I like this but it’s too much” they’ll work with you to find a solution.

What firmness is best?

This varies person to person but firm beds are not necessarily better for your body. Really. There’s two parts to a good mattress: support and comfort. Support goes underneath and is generally springs or incredibly dense foam. If a bed has good support, you can get away with lots of comfort.

The comfort layer exists to be gentle on your joints and pressure points. People who sleep on their side really need this comfort layer. Without this your shoulders and hips can’t circulate blood and you’ll end up tossing and turning every time your arm starts to fall asleep.

Back in the 1950’s when interconnected coils were the only thing on the market it made sense that you needed them to be firm, otherwise you’d get no back support. But nowadays coils are individually free standing, they do a much better job supporting bodies and bonus, they don’t have to be rock hard.

Most people should get somewhere around a medium bed rather than super firm or super soft but it depends on the persons preferences as all three can be good for you.

How can I tell if a bed has good support?

I’m so glad you asked. You lay on it. There’s a natural curve to the human spine. Lay first on your back. The arch in your lower back, that’s your lumbar. A good bed will push up and fill that area. If your muscles are trying to maintain that arch all night without help it will cause back pain and tossing. The more a bed fills your lumbar the better you can sleep.

Next, lay on your side. You’ll want to focus on your shoulders and hips. Good support on your back is great, but a mattress should have enough squish not to pinch off circulation. Lay for at least five minutes on your side unless you hate it right off the bat, I’m not saying every bed needs this in depth just the one you’re seriously considering. If you feel like you already need to roll over it’s too hard, go softer.

Should I get a topper?

A thousand times no. Toppers are used as a wide ranging bandaid from “there’s a hole in my bed” to “my back hurts”. Commercially available foams in toppers are significantly worse than the foams found in beds. They break down faster and sleep hotter than what they make mattresses with.

The only scenario in which you need a topper is if you’re stuck with a bed that’s too firm for you and you need it a little softer. That’s it. It can make your bed a little softer. It cannot fill holes or fix a bed with bad support. Generally aim to be over $200+ or the topper will break down ridiculously fast and be super hot to sleep on.

What do I do if there’s a divot in my bed?

First off, waterproof protectors can help avoid this problem, so take your bed divot as a life lesson and use a protector on all beds going forward. Our sweat and humidity breaks down foam like nobodies business, causing permanent damage.

So you have a divot, what now? Depends how entrenched it is. When beds get slept on every night for years the foam where a body lays compresses down, and the foam around it stays untouched. You’ll naturally start sinking. But you can get up and walk or crawl along all the foam that isn’t get slept on. If your divot is years deep it may be beyond saving but it’s worth a shot.

You can also rotate beds head to foot every six months and switch the side you and your partner sleep on or sleep all over the bed if you’re alone in it.

If the bed is over ten years old thank it for its service and get a new bed.

When should I get a new bed?

It’s worth checking your sleep quality at ten years into a mattress. The average life expectancy of a bed is 7-9 years. Not because the bed gave out necessarily but because human bodies change. We gain and lose weight, suffer injuries and age. A bed that worked for us eight years ago might not be what we need anymore. So just general age check is good. This is subject to the kind of mattress, bed in a boxes average 3-4 years of comfort so check in sooner.

But additionally: if your bed has a deep body trench where you’ve been sleeping, or if you’re waking up achey or in pain. There’s health problems that can reduce your sleep but a lot of people never suspect their mattress is sabotaging their rest, so keep it in mind.

How do I clean my bed?

Oh boy. You don’t. This goes back to water proof protectors. Your bed is not something you can pop in the wash. But it is something you will sweat and live in for upwards of ten years. Dust mites, dead skin cells, dust mite corpses, dust mite feces, allergens, skin oils. All those things will seep into the bed over time and spoiler alert it’s not great to breathe it in every night.

Sheets only catch a fraction of it, so a waterproof protector keeps the bed safe from your sweat breaking it down, but it keeps you safe from all the things that can build up in a mattress.

If you must clean a mattress I recommend a professional steaming service rather than trying to do it on your own but take this going forward: always protect your bed.

When should I get a new pillow?

Does your pillow have a waterproof protector on it? If no the answer is probably “right now”. Doctors recommend keeping a pillow no more than two years. This is because they’ll lose support and get yucky gross over those two years. If you get a memory foam pillow and get a protector on it they can last way longer. My oldest pillow was around seven years old.

Cheap polyfill pillows you buy at Target or Walmart are really only going to last three months before they wear out. If you are using more then one pillow at night you need a new pillow. Every time you have to wake up and adjust the multiple pillows you’re losing sleep.

Memory foam pillows can be more expensive but will last exponentially longer so save up and spend $50+ on a pillow you’ll actually get to use for a long time rather than $10 on one that will give you a few months of comfort.

What do I look for in a good pillow?

A good pillow is an extension of your spinal support. It should keep your neck aligned with your spine. Ideally, you are laying on a bed to try out a pillows height. It should match the width of your shoulder.

Most mattress stores can fit you for a pillow, but you can also bring a buddy to check your spinal alignment is straight. Side sleeping is most critical to get the height right. Back sleeping you just don’t want it too tall to force your chin down, and stomach you want it low enough not to push your neck up.

I replaced my pillow, now what?

Okay so now you might curse my name for a few days. Bodies are creatures of habit and hate change. Your neck might be in agony on the old pillow but it's familiar agony. So when you boot that sucker to the curb don't throw it out right away. As if I'd ever actually throw away a pillow when I could just hoard it forever.

Start each night on your new pillow. If you wake up in pain, switch back to the old one. Each night you should be able to stay on the new pillow longer and longer until your neck is finally happy. If the new pillow is consistently an issue after a week or more it may be too tall/low for you, unfortunately.

If I’m sleeping well do I really need to replace it (beds/pillows)?

Are you really sleeping well? Replacing beds or pillows is inherently stressful and a lot of peoples happy place is their bed. It’s hard to give up aspects of that cozy zone. If you’re really truly sleeping well no one is gonna make you change.

But generally if you find yourself asking this question you may be trying to convince yourself that things are good enough and ignoring that they could be much better.

Get a sleep tracker if some kind. Let it run for a week or two to see how much you’re tossing and waking up. If it’s a lot and your bed/pillow are old, it’s a good bed they’ve served their time.

If you ever wake up to readjust pillows (or at any point you’re using more than one pillow or mattress) then yes. You need a new one.

Good sleep is the result of the least disruptions. Anything you need to adjust in the middle of the night deserves a hard look and a boot to the curb.

Why shouldn’t I have my mattress flat on the floor?

Mold. Mold mold mold. Remember when I talked about how human bodies are humid? We put out a ridiculous amount of moisture as we sleep from exhalations to sweat. That builds up in the sponge under you and then your body heat maintains the ideal temperature to grow all sorts of nastiness.

You would not believe the amount of molded out beds I’ve seen. Even in the most arid areas, mold. It’s not worth it. Do not leave your bed on the floor. There’s like 2” frames if you like a low bed. If you must have your bed on the floor tip it up against a wall to ventilate every day. Mold will not wait for an invitation.

Japanese futons get brought up a lot here and first off- they get moved every night and washed regularly. Then left to ventilate. They understand that if they left it there it would mold.

Why do I sleep in X position?

Generally your body really wants your spine to curve in the right ways. Sleeping on your back would be ideal if the bed gave you everything you needed but most beds struggle to fill the lumbar. So when your muscles can’t hold your lumbar curve and want a break you roll onto your side.

Stomach sleepers are a case of back muscles fully declaring that nothing can support them and opting to invert rather than deal with poor support. It’s fully the worst sleeping position.

Before I sold beds I was almost 100% stomach sleeper due to scoliosis and back pain. Sometimes side. When I got my new bed I switched to only side and occasionally even back, which astonished me. As my bed has become less what I need I’ve reverted to occasional stomach bouts and less back sleeping.

Why don’t you like bed in a box?

Let me count the ways.

Box beds are the fast fashion of the bed world. They essentially corrupt the support part of the bed equation in order to get a product that can feasibly roll up and be compressed down. The foams are all lower density than they should be and give out quicker. The coils are significantly less steel.

The world cried out for an inexpensive bed and companies responded by giving you significantly less bed per dollar. They often use fiberglass as their flame retardant a requirement for all beds and there’s many testimonials about how poorly that’s gone for people.

But now the greatest sin of boxed beds is that they have the audacity to be marketed at the same price points of traditional beds that don’t roll up.

This robs the consumer of longevity. They’re a rip off. I sell them now at my store and I will do everything in my power to turn folks away onto beds that will actually do their damn job rather than bed mimics.

If you have a bed in a box, please understand that you’ll still get up to five years out of it, and you’re not foolish for buying one. They’ll still always be better than an old broken bed, just look to replace it sooner.

What is a good price point for a new bed?

This is really subjective, but you can get a queen size bed with independent coils for around $600. That’s the lowest good back support I’ve seen. You’ll get ten years out of it and it’ll be a bed.

Stepping into the $1000 mark gives better back support and pressure relief. Up from that they’re going to get more conforming.

Beyond $2000+ you’re generally paying for cooling. It’s the number one thing people want in a new bed but it costs more to give.

Rank Costco, IKEA, or bed in a boxes?

Bed in a box are my lowest tier, for reasons I’ve spoken of at length.

IKEA is next. They’re generally not boxed as of the last time I investigated ikea beds but they’re also just bare bones. Not a lot of either support or comfort, they tend to be around dorm quality.

Costco is a bit of a cheat here. See, they’re a wholesaler but mattresses aren’t something that overstocks- they’re made to order. Costco still wanted to offer a cheap option. So Costco gets beds made to order for really cheap. Now how can Costco offer it so much cheaper? By putting roughly 1/3 less stuff in it by category.

I had a spreadsheet laid out at one point to compare a sealy I carried against what looked like a comparable Costco bed. Every single component was shaved down. Each layer of foam, each coil, they all were about 1/3 less material than our better bed.

Now of course Costco sells boxed bed. So a non-boxed Costco bed is still better than an old broken bed and Costco will basically always take it back which is why they score higher than others but you’re still only going to get about three to five years out of it.

Do I really need a new boxspring? My old one is fine!

Is it really actually 100% fine? Is it just as old as the mattress? Are you willing to gamble the price of the new bed on the existing structural integrity? It’s been load bearing for the lifespan of a bed and the amount of boxes that are actually good to continue service are few and far between.

A few reasons to get new boxes: new beds are made much more floppy than old style to accommodate adjusting on adjustable bases. Old boxes may not offer adequate support for a new bed. Ideally what’s going under a new mattress is solid. No gaps. If you have slats it’s still ultimately better to put a bunkie board under the mattress rather than sitting it right on the slats. Also mattress manufacturers won’t warranty a bed that is on old boxes or improper support.

Adjustable bases are a wonderful replacement for box springs, bunkie boards should go over slats greater that 2” apart, and try to avoid frames that leave big open spaces under the bed.

If this guide was helpful you can consider popping a tip over on my Ko-fi to say thanks!

[oriax]

legally i cant rb the post bc its asking for trouble that im too old to deal with but man. man.

[r0-boat]

MC and the seven Demon concubines Headcannons

Instead of taking a human lover, You had other tastes in men.

You're so busy trying to really your kingdom you sometimes forget how loved you are! Your lovers are happy to remind you.

Satan

Satan is your military Commander, a force to be reckoned with in battle. But you're the only one who can tame him, (or make him worse). Using your body or letting you use his body as a stress relief, He's more than happy to fuck the stress right out of you.

Even though he is a demon, you can't help but worry for him when he goes out to fight Your battles for your kingdom. He writes to you often and brings gifts from war. He tells you not to worry about him since you always do, even when he cannot see you. And when he gets home, he will make it up to you ;)

Satan frequence the training grounds where he can practice all sorts of weapons as well as the barracks where he spars and chats among his soldier and Conrad's at arms. If you ask he is more than happy to train you in combat. There is nothing cuter than you're serious face as your hand grips a sword tightly in your hand.

If you manage to beat him in combat, his eyes will stare blankly at the sky, lying on the ground. He's never been so turned on in his life. He'll take you right then and there caring little for how many soldiers in his army see. To his knowledge the soldiers are smitten with you as whis will be a great reminder that you are his.

Mammon

He was yours from the start. The arrogant demon is so confident to win and buy your attention. As the richest, wealthiest man in the world, He knows his assets, and he's proud of them. Your kindness and humbleness not only confuses him but makes him fall harder. Your personality is just as beautiful as your face and body and you are made to be spoiled.

He worships the ground you walk on and peppers every inch of your body with his lips. Despite having a kingdom You still hold so little to your name. Mammon has known Kings and queens that have the rarest riches in the realm. But you give everything you have and to your kingdom and that kind of generosity attracts him like a moth to a flame.

Mammon is not only the devil of greed but also a successful businessman and merchant. Traveling across the realm to collect more riches and do business with other kingdoms. He showers you with gifts about 10 times a week. Or at least tries most the time you politely decline his generous gifts and it takes him a lot of effort to make you accept what you deserve.

At least you accept his pleasure in bed, when he greedily tastes you with his tongue like a starving man. Fucking your body like he owns it. You already own his.

Leviathan

Your fiance in an arranged marriage. She tells you over and over again that This marriage is only to join your kingdoms in an alliance and you agreed since he offered Not only your independence from his kingdom and yours but also his unwavering support.

Leviathan is starting to regret not joining your kingdoms as you gain more concubines and more rivals to your love He wished he could have just became emperor.

Unbeknownst to you, he's loved you for a while now, But having never experienced this emotion And the fact that you are still technically a rival kingdom, His feelings for you are complicated. Leviathan's followers and devoted subjects constantly stir the pot just so they can have their beloved emperor to get more excuses to be with you more.

Another way to air out the weight in his heart is to write love letters from a "secret admirer"

Beelzebub

The wandering eldest prince to the throne of his kingdom ran away since he hated work leaving his best friend Bael his "brother" to run the kingdom for him. When he traveled to your kingdom he fell in love with not only the great food but the beautiful scenery and the nice people. Finally contacting his "brother"He struck up a deal. To become your concubine in exchange, you would help protect his kingdom.

The Sly Prince wanted this to be a business only transaction but of course he had to fall in love with you over time. When he isn't traveling to other kingdoms, He is by your side.

He travels to other lands, writing letters to you and sending you gifts And when he comes back, he talks greatly about his travels and wants you to come along on his next trip.

Beelzebub is is a bad influence on you. To him all you do is work, work, work, and he tries to coax you into spending the day with him. If you've never been out the palace before he will have a good time trying to dress you up in disguise so the two of you could frolic out of the palace walls.

Lucifer

Was once the eldest son of a powerful empire now kicked out for his arrogance and pridefulness, he is a powerful paladin night with a talented gifts of healing. He treats the sick and wounded. Now he is building his own paradise Kingdom filled with all kinds of people from all different walks of life.

He met you one one day you felt ill from a deadly disease. The people in your court begged Lucifer to help and they do anything... He didn't understand his feelings then when his heart felt lighter, and he felt as though he couldn't breathe. When his eyes gazed upon you're sleeping form he was transfixed. Something about you pulled him toward you. Something about you He must have.

For healing you He asked for your hand. He does not need your power or your people. Since he could grow that himself. It is you he wants and you he shall get.

Even though he is technically your concubine Lucifer and you see each other on equal footing. Lucifer wants you to choose him, But he is still busy growing his kingdom. So the two of you are right often. When he does visit, he acts as though he's your knight in shining armor. Kissing your hand and standing by your side as if to protect you.

Belphegor(+Beleth)

He thought becoming your concubine would be a hassle. He was only doing this for the good of his own kingdom. But that opinion quickly changed when he actually got his first taste of you. Now he's obsessed So obsessed that His "advisor"Now wants you.

If it wasn't for the fact that you're so far away and he needs to still keep an eye on his subjects and kingdom he would not hesitate to live in the cozy chamber you prepared for him when he does stay.

You're such a diligent and hard worker so passionate to better your kingdom All he wants to do is support you, (by sleeping in bed supporting you in spirit)

But you can't help but notice Beleth His advisor had been eyeing you more recently. Maybe he wants you just as bad. His advisor looks more like his knight he probably is to

Asmodeus

You're not sure how you scored an audience with The king from one of the most feared kingdoms on the map. A kingdom known for its lack of laws. With impenetrable rock walls and a thick iron gate being heavily heavily guarded. The Kingdom feels more like a prison than a home. Perhaps that's why most people end up going if they have nowhere to go.

Asmodeus had everything handed to him and he wonders why you're different. He wonders why you hesitate to fall to your knees... He's puzzled by the fact that he actually has competition to compete with.

You're not sure why he's fond of you so. He brings you mountain of gifts some you don't even want to open and many many steamy love letters. It has been a painfully long time since he wanted someone so bad before.

He's fine with being your concubine for now as long as he has in your bed he is But even then that will soon to be proved not enough as he continues to crave for more and more of you.

[grzybobranie-zaniechanie]

Batman crack fic idea Janet Drake used to date Lady Shiva when she was in college, they break up when Janet marries Jack for social and money reasons.

Tim is born. When he's old enough the Drakes fuck off to do archeology and Janet hires a bunch of increasingly bizarre people who "owed her a favour ". There's a disgraced Russian ballerino, a mad chemist, the worlds best loclpicker, John Constantine, a black and white noire detective, some Welsh guy she found in the woods. Tim learns from all of them. Janet doesn't believe in public schools, so all of this is "homeschooling".

Flash forward, Tim is 11 Jack Drake dies on a dig in Australia, because a bird dropped a coconut on his head. Suddenly Tim has a new stepmum. Lady Shiva's nice, weirdly intense, but nothing he hasn't seen before. Janet takes over complete control of Drake industries, expands her business empire and destroyes her enemies with extreme prejudice. She teaches Tim all she knows about business. Shiva teaches him how to fight. Tim is happy he now has two mums who love and pay attention to him.

Stuff happens (I haven't figured out what yet) they find Cass and Tim gets a sister. Now, because this is DC and the children canonically yern for the streets (im thinking they're like 13 & 16 at this point), Cass and Tim become a new vigilante duo (I'm thinking Crows, one of tims nannies was an animal handler and he befriended all the crows in Gotham, they follow him around) and have perfected non verbal communication and creep out everybody with horror movie twin behaviour.

While sneaking around Gotham, they meet Steph, and she takes one look at them and decides that she likes Cass and that Tim needs to be bullied relentlessly. She is, of course, correct.

Meanwhile, Bruce is not having a good time, Jason is dead, and WE has competition for the first time in his life. He'd like to spiral into a pit of despair and find out who the new vigilantes are (and why are there so many birds?), but if he does that, Lucius will kill him or, worse, quit his job. So, instead, he and Dick are sent to therapy.

Jason comes back fully expecting to have to do a whole production out of this situation, takes one look at Bruce being forced to sit in a meeting with Janet and decides that he's fine actually, and why the fuck is Lady Shiva just hanging out at this gala with two kids hanging onto her?

By the time Damian is dropped off, everyone except for Bruce knows who the Crows are, Cass and Tim come over to hang out all the time. Damian is confused as to why The One Wo Sees All is in his father's house and how her brother manages to somehow be scarier than her. Damian does not like to be confused, so he still tries to kill Tim. This devolves into a roadrunner situation where Tim pulls out increasingly niche skills to get out of Damians traps. Later, this becomes enrichment for both of them.

When Tim is 15 and Cass 18, their mums decide they're old enough to be fine living with Bruce while they go off on their own adventures. Dick brings the Crows over to meet the Titans. He's told them about his cute baby siblings (Bruce is not the only one with an adoption problem). These children are not cute. They invoke fight or flight responses. Kon has one conversation with Tim, gets info dumped on, and falls in love immediately. He's finally found someone with an equal, if not greater, amount of weird, eclectic knowledge. Young Justice adventures are somehow even more bizarre than yj98. They are having the times of their lives.

Since Tim was never robin, Duke never started the We are Robin gang. But the Crows do have a cult, and he might be in it. His parents still get jokerised, and he starts living in Wayne manor proceeds to fit right in with the insanity (Bruce has given up on trying to control any of it).

The Justice League dreads whenever they have to meet with any of the younger Gotham vigilantes. Somehow, Jason ended up as the most almost well-adjusted one. He doesn't know how that happened either.

[harmoonix]

👑 E M P I R E 👑

• Astrology Observations •

𓃮.✻´`✻.𓃮𓃮.✻´`✻.𓃮𓃮.✻´`✻.𓃮𓃮.✻´`✻.𓃮𓃮.✻

𓃮.✻´`✻.𓃮𓃮.✻´`✻.𓃮𓃮.✻´`✻.𓃮𓃮.✻´`✻.𓃮𓃮.✻

👑 - "I'm too classy for this world, forever I'm that girl" - Leo/Capricorn/Libra and Scorpio placements

👑 - Leo in your birth chart rules over where you are the most devoted/loyal/passionate about

Leo in the 4th house = your family

Leo in your 7th house = your relationships

Leo in your 10th house = your career

Leo in your 1st house = yourself

👑 - Fire Venus - Fire Moon is such a hot combo to have your birth chart, so passionate and so intense. You may have this "fierce" presence in others people's lives

👑 - Fire Venus - Air Moon is another great combo because it shows interest in everything they do. Also natives with such combos are great at flirting and talking dirty

👑 - Water Venus - Earth Moon is a very powerful combo to have in your birth chart because it shows you have strong desires in life and ambition to achieve them

👑 - Cancer Placements hate being rude/mean towards others so they try their best to be the nicest as possible with everyone.

👑 - Eros/Psyche in Libra/Taurus/Pisces/Sagittarius are so sensual. Literally they can be so romantic and full of love. They tend to be an hopeless romantic most times tho (Eros 433 - Psyche - 16)

👑 - Psyche in the 2nd house/Psyche in Taurus > Their worth > everything else. People with these placements value themselves a lot and they have all the rights to do that

👑 - Ascendant - Sun aspects > Their aura is insane, they radiate "celebrity" vibes. They legit light the room when they come in

👑 - Jupiter/Neptune in 12th house > Guardian Angels, they are so protected and so gifted with spirituality, knowledge and wisdom.

👑 - Asteroid Lucifer [1930] in Air Signs can be so attracted to music, literally angels of music stereotype. Music can help them and make them better in the same way

👑 - Ascendant - Mercury aspects have a nice voice (all aspects applying) they're voice either might be the cutest either the most different voice you ever heard

👑 - Moon in the 9th house and their expanding nature > These people are growing so much and learn from every experience, also their love for belfies/traditions/cultures is everything

👑 - Gemini in the 5th house/Mercury in the 5th are the type or people you like at the first sight, they are so inteligent so easily attract people

👑 - Sagittarius Venus/Venus in the 9th house mystery is underrated > These placements can often give the vibe they are from another planet, they're so smart and charismatic especially since Jupiter helps them a lot. You're so luckyyy

👑 - Venus in Aquarius Degrees (11°, 23°) can be known for their beauty in online/medial/socials these are also fame degrees

👑 - Lilith (h12) opposite Sun > I have only word to describe them and that is W I L D, with them you literally can do the craziest things ever (I say this from experience 😭✋🏼) Oh also they are hot AF

👑 - Venus and Jupiter aspects make a person to be so likeable by others, especially because of their vibe and personality

👑 - Mars in Aries/Mars in the 1st house > Damn is so hot in here ✋🏼, Mars is at home in this sign 😍, breaking bed sessions be so intense

👑 - People who lack water placements/water Element in their chart tend to say that they're emotional and more sensitive which is right but make sure to check your draconic/sidereal chart because they are the chart of your soul

👑 - If you have Pluto/Saturn/Mars in your 4th house, you can quite feel some intensity between your family members, sometimes chaos, sometimes an overwhelming feeling

👑 - Neptune trine/sextile/conjunct Moon is so serene, they're very peaceful and have this pure energy around them like you can feel so attached to them and so safe

👑 - I have my Moon conjunct my south node and honestly I often find myself thinking/looking over the past and how much the past changed me, honestly these aspects make you think in the past sometimes or just to get lost in memories

👑 - Chiron in Aries/Chiron in the 1st house > They can be a bit shy when it comes to their appearance and they will do everything to not get in people's eyes and to get attention, but you are so so so pretty is shame you dont want to attract people

👑 - Moon in the 10th house gets pretty overwhelmed around lots of people, they feel like they exposed themselves to an extend and don't want to feel or do that, they can read people based on how they feel

👑 - Venus in the 12th house/Pisces has a hard time thinking about finding the right person for them. Some of these natives can fall over the "nice but posesive/controlling boyfriend" trap

👑 - Libra Placements esp (Sun/Moon/Rising) have a very good looking 🍑 and is not always about its size. It's about that is looking good in every shape

👑 - Asteroid Born [13954] can show things you were born for, for example I have mine in the 11th house and I always ended up having a very close connection with my friends, in conclusion born to make a bound with people

In the 7th house it can show you were born for a good relationship/marriage

In the 10th house it can show you were born to be successful especially in your career/job

In the 8th house it can show you were born to make money or to get marry rich and at some point to go through a rebirth

In the 1st house it can show you were born to be yourself. This has the definition of "be yourself"

If you have your asteroid born in other house check this photo:

👑 - As you can see the 5th house can also indicate "affairs" and that can happen if someone has Mars/Pluto there because these planets indicate a lot of lust, that doesn't mean everyone with those placements has affairs, it can just be an indicator (Also if you have Aphrodite 1388 in this house)

👑 - Natives with Sun/Moon in the 12th house can possibly live their last earthly life, by that I mean they wont have to reincarnate again in the future lives because in this present life they will end something that needs to be ended

𓃮.✻´`✻.𓃮𓃮.✻´`✻.𓃮𓃮.✻´`✻.𓃮𓃮.✻´`✻.𓃮𓃮.✻

𓃮.✻´`✻.𓃮𓃮.✻´`✻.𓃮𓃮.✻´`✻.𓃮𓃮.✻´`✻.𓃮𓃮.✻

👑 - So let me tell y'all I loved making this post so much because of these wonderful aesthetics for me, the aesthetics and the way a POST looks matter a lot, because i need everything to look pretty/shiny and something eye striking too 👑

👑 My aesthetic eye does no wrong and is never missing 👑

👑 I have hope you all who read my posts have a wonderful day, make sure to spend it with someone dear to you and to surround yourself with beauty everyday 👑

All posts are made by me @harmoonix

👑 H a r m o o n i x 👑

[initialchains]

teenage dirtbag, baby! | luke castellan

pairing: luke castellan x fem!reader

summary: there is nothing more exhausting than being known as the picture perfect daughter of aphrodite… luckily, camp half-blood’s resident teenage dirtbag luke castellan can’t relate at all. fake dating him to piss off your siblings and mother could never go wrong, right? (based on 18 by anarbor)

wc: 6.5k

warnings: smoking, mentions of drinking, mentions of drugs, mentions of sex, implied sexual content, drew tanaka being a bitch, and kinda ooc luke bcs hes meant to be well … a teenage dirtbag.

a/n: its still valentine’s day for me sooo happy valentines 💌💗 !! in mexico valentine’s day is also known as the day of friendship so this one is dedicated to my favorite people ever: @emiliehornby @love-that-we-were-in and @kestisvrse <3 !! hope you enjoy it mwah !!

The sounds of campers laughing and gossiping in the dining pavilion are drowned out by your siblings and their annoyingly loud whispers about the allegedly cute (you’d beg to differ) son of Ares who joined camp less than twelve hours ago. Sure, he seemed like a nice guy even though he's a child of the god of war, but you were certain the only reason they kept bringing him up was because they wanted to set you up with him.

“And his arms, oh my gods! Have you seen them?” one of your brothers chimed in, trying to get you to agree with him, but all you could come up with was a hum and a polite smile. 

It pissed you off a bit, the knowledge of you never being able to go against your siblings' wishes.. the fear of disappointing them and your mother being all-consuming and blinding you with fear.

There were times you’d think about it if you’re being honest. Times where you would let yourself dream of doing something so stupidly reckless for once. Something that would stop your siblings from walking all over you and treating you like their personal lapdog. 

Not only was it tiring but it was also humiliating to a certain point. You were older than most of them and you were pretty sure you were the only one that took being a demigod seriously, even taking your time to strategize for Capture The Flag with Clarisse, and yet… you rejected Chiron when he asked you to be a counselor and told him to ask Silena instead. 

And you loved your family—you really did, but it was getting exhausting. Always having to be perfect was draining you and you were afraid of the kind of person you’d become if you allowed this to keep going. 

“He totally wants to ask you out,” Silena’s voice snapped you out of the daze you were trapped in. You turned your head to the right, facing your half-sister with a small frown on your face.

“You really think so?” you replied, trying your best to sound excited. 

“Oh, I know so,” she answered before going on a whole rant about how cute you’d look with the newly claimed son of Ares. A son of Ares—that you badly wanted to remind her—had only been in camp for less than twelve hours and you knew nothing about. 

You stayed in the dining pavilion with your siblings until you found the strength to tell them you were tired and wanted to go to sleep (an incredibly blatant lie but it didn’t look like they cared) and stood up, brushing the dust off your jeans.

“Wait, I’ll go with you!” Silena said with a smile, standing up and moving closer to you. 

“You don’t have to. You can stay with them if you want to, really—“ you were cut off by your half-sister with an exasperated sigh.

“I want to go with you. Plus, I can walk back here once I drop you off at the cabin,” she stated with a playful roll of her eyes.

The two of you walked back to the Aphrodite cabin in a comfortable silence. You liked being with Silena, she was a few years younger than you but she carried herself with so much grace and love it was hard to feel uncomfortable or weird whenever you hung out with her.

You kept your gaze on the sky, noticing that the moon was out by now. “Hey,” Silena whispered, trying to get your attention.

“You okay?” you answered. Your mind was practically hardwired to always look after your siblings, so your brain was unwillingly making you think of the worst-case scenario.

“What? Yeah, I am okay,” Silena was quick to reassure you, “I just wanted to talk to you about—“

“I swear to all the gods, Silena. If this is about that camper..” you replied with a small sigh. The two of you stopped walking when you reached your cabin, deciding to continue the conversation outside.

“He’s not that bad! He is a nice guy and the two of you would look really cute together,” she insisted.

“You don’t even know him.”

“Ugh, fine. Good thing is there are other cute campers we can introduce you to. I met one of Charlie’s brothers a few weeks ago and I think he’d—“

“I can’t do this tonight,” you replied in an exhausted tone.

“Wow, okay. No need to be mean about it,” Silena muttered.

“I’m sorry?”

“I’ve been trying to help you find a boyfriend for months now and you always shut me down. It was fine at first but now you’re just being mean,” she explained.

“Mean? Silena, you said it yourself. I’ve always shut you down because I’m not interested in getting one.”

“Whatever,” she replied bitterly before turning around and walking back to the dining pavilion, leaving you alone outside of your cabin. 

You stared at her back as she walked away, going through the last few minutes over and over in your head. Were you being mean? All you did was stick up for yourself. You didn’t understand why you were feeling bad for standing up against your siblings just for once.

A snort made you realize you weren’t alone. You turned your head towards the noise just to be met with.. oh.

Luke Castellan was leaning against the side of your cabin, carefully hidden under the darkness of the night and the shadows of the trees, he had a cigarette in his right hand and an obnoxious smirk adorning his even more obnoxious face. 

“Hope you enjoyed the show, Castellan.”

Luke raised his hands as if he had been caught and blew the smoke away, “I’m on your side, she was being a fucking bitch.”

“Don’t call her that, she’s just a kid.”

Luke raised a brow before taking another drag of his cigarette, “Do not call your sister a bitch after seeing her.. be a bitch to you?” he shook his head. “Oh, princess, you need to work on getting rid of that altruism.”

“Do you even know what that word means?” you snapped, not being in the mood to indulge in whatever it was he wanted to talk about.

“Why? You want to teach me?” He said with a smirk.

“Don’t even start with your annoying stuff, Castellan,” you muttered, running a hand down your face, clearly overwhelmed with everything that had happened. 

“Because you know you won’t want me to stop?” he pressed, but after a moment of silence his smirk fell and a frown took over his features. 

“Uh.. you want to...” he trailed off and cleared his throat, “you want to talk about it or something?” 

You squinted at him before eventually letting out a sigh and walking over to Luke, standing next to him with your back pressed against the wooden walls of your cabin. Luke extended his arm away from you to keep the smoke far from your face. 

“So, um... Silena wants to set me up with that new camper,” you started.

“Fuck. The Ares one?” Luke interrupted.

“Castellan.”

“Right, sorry. Please continue, princess.”

You decided to ignore the insufferable pet name he gave you and continued, “The thing is I do want a boyfriend, just not… him.”

Luke hummed before bringing the cigarette to his lips again and inhaling the smoke in, he kept his mouth closed as he thought of something decent to say before slightly tilting his head away from you and blowing out the smoke upwards. 

“Alright, and have you tried telling her to stop?” he cut himself off and shook his head. “Nope that was shitty advice, have you tried maybe describing your type or whatever it is you Aphrodite people say to describe the people you’re attracted to.” 

“My type?” you replied, almost offended by the statement.

“Yeah?” Luke answered as if it was the most obvious thing to do, “Just describe the type of guys you’re into and I’m sure that cult of yours you like to call siblings will be happy to help…” he trailed off when he noticed your gaze set on his right hand and your bottom lip in between your teeth as he flicked the cigarette, causing the ashes to fall into the ground. 

He looked up from his hand and burst out into laughter, shaking his head before whispering an amused fuck. 

“Oh?” Luke said with a bright smile and raised brows, “You find this attractive, angel?” 

“That thing is going to kill you,” you explained, “I’m not attracted to people that like to slowly kill themselves.” 

“Fucking bummer. I wanted to see you take a drag, that would’ve been really hot,” he said, his smile not wavering. “Next thing you’re going to tell me is that you don’t drink, right?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Look at you, being such a good girl,” Luke teased before throwing the rest of his cigarette to the ground and stepping on it. 

“Also, that thing you said about Silena being just a kid was really fucking stupid. She’s almost the same age as Annabeth and she doesn’t act like an asshole, I’m pretty sure your sweet little sister is just a bitch.” 

Annabeth. You forgot that even though Luke is an annoyance most of the time and prefers to stick to himself.. he still has a soft spot for the twelve year old daughter of Athena. It was kind of endearing. 

“Annabeth is a daughter of Athena, you can’t expect her to act—“

“You didn’t act like Silena when you were fourteen. You need to stop giving her excuses and allow yourself to get mad at her.” 

“I’d rather have my siblings get mad at me and just stop perceiving me as this perfect and weak person, maybe once that happens they’ll stop trying to mess with my life,” you explained, your gaze set towards the ground. 

Luke was about to open his mouth and try to come up with a funny one-liner to make you feel better, but he didn’t get to because you were quick to look up at him with a gasp and wide eyes.

“The fuck? Are you okay?” 

“I need you.”

“Shit, angel. Most girls say that after a few dates but I’m not against the idea,” he said with an amused look in his eyes. 

“Ew, no. I mean, I need to date you—fake date you.”

“I’m uh... not for sale?” Luke answered, clearly confused by the plan you were trying to explain.

“No, Castellan. Listen to me. My siblings despise you, I’m sure they’d set my bed on fire as a way of cleansing my soul from you if they find out we’re dating.”

Luke’s eyes got bright and his smile widened (if that was even possible), “Set your bed on fire? And what would we do in your bed for them to feel disgusted by its existence?”

“You’re disgusting. Anyway, if we fake date I’ll get to stop being perceived as their perfect sister and you’ll have bragging rights for dating an Aphrodite kid,” you said, moving your hands as you spoke. 

“I’m pretty sure Drew started the rumors about me having lice and smuggling coke into camp, are you sure you want to fake date me of all people?” Luke asked carefully, trying to make you think about what was at stake. He didn’t give a shit about staining his already nonexistent reputation, but he couldn’t have you ruin yours. 

“I am so sure, Castellan,” you reassured him. 

“You know, for a good girl I’m extremely surprised you never say please.”

“Please, Castellan. Could you please be my fake boyfriend so I can finally stop being seen as my siblings' personal toy?” you said with a fake smile while bringing your hands together as an exaggerated way of begging Luke to say yes. 

“You’re so cute when you beg. But you need to prove to me you’re serious about this fake dating thing. Meet me tomorrow at the bonfire, no bullshit.” 

꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱

You had been on edge the entire day. Silena seemed to be past the argument, which made you feel better to an extent, but that didn’t seem to shake the uneasy feeling that settled in your gut because throughout the day you could feel someone staring at you. You could feel Luke staring at you.  

You were walking past the sword fighting arena with Katie Gardner from the Demeter Cabin the first time it happened. The feeling of a pair of eyes completely set on you. You turned your head to the right just to be met with Luke’s exhausted figure, he was sweating and panting, but that didn’t stop him from running his eyes up and down your figure and smiling at you. 

To say Katie was disgusted would be an understatement. A “Castellan is a dick, you should stay away from him,” was enough to stop you from staring at him and turning your head back to Katie. She went on to explain how Luke was a “real shitty person” and only hooked up with her as a way of getting her to grow weed in the back of the stables. 

It happened around eight times in the last two hours (not that you were counting) and it only got worse when the moon came up and everyone was making their way to the bonfire. You were walking next to Michael Yew when you felt a hand on your lower back. 

Luke’s hand on your lower back, to be exact. He left it there as he walked past you, only turning his head back to say “It’s adorable to see you together, are you two a couple?” 

You had to hold yourself back from strangling him when you heard his irritating laugh after he saw Michael’s reaction to his statement. Michael tried his best to be polite and tell him he was wrong, that there was nothing going on between the two of you. 

But his reply only seemed to fuel Luke’s actions even more because all he did was answer with a cocky “Oh, I know. Our princess here is only into... what was it? People that like to slowly kill themselves with cigarettes?” before walking away.

You were going to kill him.

Michael left your side as soon as you arrived, moving to sit with his siblings from the Apollo Cabin… leaving you with two choices: sitting with your siblings or sitting next to Luke (who for some reason always sat alone and spent the entire time listening to the music coming from the MP3 player he somehow managed to get into camp). 

So this is what Luke meant, you thought. This was the only way you could prove to him and everyone that you were serious about dating him—fake dating him—but it's not like they would ever know the truth.

You dragged your feet as you walked towards Luke, clearly having second thoughts about your plan, but there was no turning back now. You tried to ignore the confused look Drew was giving you and the gasps you could hear coming from your siblings. 

“I’m pretty sure Drew started the rumors about me having lice and smuggling coke into camp, are you sure you want to fake date me of all people?” You weren't so sure anymore but that didn’t stop you from taking a seat next to Luke Castellan, who took one of his earphones off and looked at you with a smile. 

“Happy now? I just proved how serious I am about this,” you whispered to him, trying your best to not let anyone hear you.

Luke nodded before saying, “You could’ve done better, but I’ll take it.”

“Done better? I just sat next to you in front of the entire camp, isn’t this good enough for you?” you asked, indignation evident in your tone. 

“Promise not to beat me up?” Luke said before pulling your arm and manhandling your body so you were on top of him, sitting on his lap. He placed his hands on your hips and looked up at you with stars in his eyes.

“Wow, Castellan. How scandalous, I’m sitting on your lap,” you deadpanned. 

He chuckled, bringing you closer to him and pressing his lips against yours. Luke’s hands felt like fire against your skin, all you could feel was a heat taking all over your body as he continued to kiss you, only pulling away to catch his breath before bringing you in for another one, this time he kissed you deeper and faster. 

Luke dragged you closer to him by pressing your hips against his and all you could do was melt into him and the feeling of his lips against yours. In the distance, you could hear gasps and people gagging, and you were pretty sure the campers from the Ares Cabin were cheering and whistling, but all your thoughts were on Luke Castellan and how good of a kisser he is.

You pulled away first this time, trying to steady your breathing as you looked into his eyes. He licked his lips before whispering “We should go.”

Your eyes widened as soon as he said that, the implications of what the sentence meant making you feel nervous. Luke was quick to reassure you, “If we leave, your siblings will be even more outraged. We don’t have to do anything, but they’ll think we are doing…some stuff. Just come to the woods with me for a little while.” 

You nodded and grabbed his hand as he guided you through the woods. You could hear Silena calling out your name and warning you about the consequences of your actions, but her voice was drowned out by the loud cheers coming from Clarisse.

Once the two of you were far enough from the rest of the campers, Luke let go of your hand and sat down by the lake, nodding his head as a way of asking you to join him.

You sat in silence for a few minutes until Luke spoke first. “How long do you think we should keep this thing up?”

“Valentina and Drew will want us to be over by tonight,” you said with a smile, a laugh escaping your lips. You didn’t notice how Luke’s eyes got brighter when he heard your laugh or how the melody that came out of your lips went straight through his heart and made him feel more alive.

“But I think a week should be enough. We can say we’ve been secretly dating for like... five months? That way it won’t be weird if we break up in a week,” you explained while your fingers played with your camp necklace. 

Luke nodded before going silent again, staring at the lake with a look you couldn’t quite comprehend. Your gaze was set on him, your eyes traveling from his toned arms, all the way to the scar that sat right below his right eye. 

“I know it’s awful, I can feel you staring at it,” he murmured. You could physically feel your heart sinking when he said it. You cleared your throat, “No, I… I think it’s beautiful. I think you’re—” Luke turned his head to face you, an inquisitive look in his eyes. “I think you’re really brave, Luke.” 

“Beautiful?” Luke asked, confusion written all over his face. “You should hear what your siblings say about it, then. I’m sure your opinion would change in a second.” 

“Being an Aphrodite kid means you see beauty everywhere,” you explained, “And I think your scar must be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Luke stared at you with an unreadable expression, making your heart almost beat out of your chest. 

“Are you flirting with me, angel?”

“Of course, you’d ruin the moment. Screw you, man.” You rolled your eyes. 

Luke threw his head back in a fit of laughter, it made you want to strangle him… again. “Did you just say screw you? Gods, princess, saying fuck won’t kill you.” 

“I don’t like to curse, thank you for pointing it out, Castellan,” you said, playfully shoving him, making him fake a gasp. 

“You went from trying to seduce me to trying to kill me, you’re so interesting, angel,” he said before letting out a sigh. “It, uh… It was really hard at first, getting used to the scar.”

“Having people call it all sorts of names, and looking at me with nothing but pity in their eyes was not easy to get used to. But after some time you just… stop caring. I mean, I’m not that big of an asshole to hold a grudge over a fucking scar, it even looks sick. But yeah, when it gets hard again all I can do is snort a line and move on.

“The coke smuggling was real?” you gasped, only focusing on the last sentence he said. Luke tried to keep a straight face but his facade fell the moment he noticed your wide eyes. Luke Castellan has the type of laugh that makes everything get fuzzy and makes you feel lightheaded, and all you wanted to do was to come up with bad jokes just for the sole reason of hearing him do it again. 

“Fuck, you really believe anything, huh?”

“Shut up, Castellan. I’ll literally stab you and let you slowly bleed to death,” you threatened, standing up from your place next to him. Luke followed you as you walked back to the cabins.

“You do know I’m the best swordsman in the last 300 years, right? Do you even know how to wield a sword?” he asked, matching your pace and walking next to you. 

“Low blow, just because I don’t like to indulge in violence it doesn’t mean I don’t know how to wield a sword,” you retorted. 

Luke snorted a laugh, “You don’t know, do you?”

“No, I don’t. Will you shut up now?”

“I only will if you accept to let me teach you how to fight tomorrow,” Luke said with a tilt to his head. He didn’t even give you a chance to answer because he walked away from you while saying a loud “Meet me tomorrow morning in the sword fighting arena.” 

꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱

You were sure you were seconds away from passing out. It's been around two hours of sparring with Luke and your arms and legs were about to give out. The sun was starting to come out, which meant this torture was nearly over. At least that’s what Luke promised. “We’ll stop as soon as the other campers wake up, that way you won’t have to be embarrassed if they see your… skills.”

The two of you circled each other, your swords were raised and Luke’s blade was pointing straight at you. Luke took a second to study your stance before lunging forward, his sword meeting yours as you quickly blocked his attack. “Not too bad, huh?” Luke teased before trying to get another hit, his moves becoming more calculated the longer you kept blocking his advances. Proving he wasn’t called the best swordsman at camp for nothing. 

With a disarming maneuver you weren’t aware of, Luke was quick to throw your sword to the ground and have you stumbling back, not being able to regain your footing. Luke gave you a smirk when your body hit the ground with a small thud, “That was easy,” he said, “We should do this more often.” 

“Nope, this is a one-time thing, Castellan,” Luke rolled his eyes before bringing the blade of his sword closer to you, reaching for your chin with a glint in his eyes. The blade met your chin and Luke lifted it, making you meet his gaze as he slowly made you stand up by raising his sword even higher. 

The two of you stood still, staring intently into each other’s eyes until you heard it—the sound of the Ares Cabin making their way to the arena. Luke let out a surprised shit, dropped his sword to the ground, and walked closer to you, cupping your jaw with his right hand and kissing you. 

Your lips met in a hurried collision, causing the same fire from yesterday to set in your stomach. Your hands moved to Luke’s hair, softly pulling it as the kiss got heated. You knew this was fake, you knew this kiss meant nothing to him… but you didn’t want him to stop. “Holy fuck, are you two always sucking each other’s faces?” Clarisse’s voice cut through the moment, causing you to pull away from Luke, unable to meet his gaze. 

“Yeah, that’s what being in a relationship entails. I don’t think you’d know much about it, La Rue,” Luke breathes out.

“Don’t you have weed to sell or a cheap bottle of vodka to down, Castellan?” 

“Aw, you know me so well,” Luke answered before picking up both of your swords and grabbing your hand, walking away from the arena. 

The following days were (and you hated to admit it) filled with the most fun you’ve ever had. Luke would come up with some insane idea for a fake date and it would always end with one of you lying about seeing a camper or hearing Silena’s voice as an excuse to make out with each other. 

There was this one time the two of you were having a picnic by the strawberry fields and the day ended with the two of you hiding in the empty forge while making out, running your hands over each other’s bodies, and doing the normal stuff fake couples always do… it all happened because Luke swore he heard Valentina’s voice near the fields. (You were sure Valentina had been on the stables that entire day because she had cleaning duty, but why wouldn’t you play along with something you also wanted to do?)  

It was Sunday–the last day of your fake relationship–when Silena finally found the guts to talk to you about Luke. You even felt slightly bad for the girl because she was so nervous when she sat next to you in the dining pavilion. 

“I..um... I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” she began, “Well, there are lots of things for me to apologize for, but I think it’s pretty obvious what the main problem is.” 

“The way I’ve been treating you is not okay and I’m really ashamed of it. You shouldn’t have to feel pressured to be the person we want you to be, I used to see you as someone who couldn’t do things on her own and always needed someone to push her and help her handle everything… and now I see I was wrong,” Silena explained, running a hand through her hair. 

“It’s fine, Silena. I don’t mind.”

“Well, I do. You’re strong and more than capable of doing things on your own, and you don’t need me to try and help you or fix you.” She took a deep breath. “I didn't know you were dating Luke, and to be honest I didn’t even know he was your type. He is so… weird and I never would’ve guessed you were dating. I mean, Drew told me he does cocaine and—”

“He doesn’t,” you interrupted.

Silena raised a brow before continuing, “Anyway, I’m sorry if I ever made you feel bad for just... existing. And you always look so happy after hanging out with Luke, I truly hope the two of you stay together for a long time.” 

You didn’t even know how to explain the situation so you just blurted out “I broke up with him.” 

Silena looked shocked for a few seconds before letting out a deep breath, “Oh, thank the gods. Just because we trust you it doesn’t mean we trust him,” she spat the him with so much disgust it made you feel sick. “You deserve so much better.” 

꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱

This is probably the first time you have ever felt ill at the thought of seeing Luke. Sure, you used to be annoyed by his presence before the whole fake dating situation even started, but at least you were a strange type of friends back then. Not really close but also not complete strangers. There were times you’d catch him hiding his secret stash of weed behind the stables and didn’t tell anyone, and he’d always pay you back by lying to Chiron about you practicing your sword skills with him. (You had only used a sword once and it was years ago when you were still a new camper, you had no idea why Chiron would ever believe him.)

Luke was sitting in his usual spot by the lake, a cigarette in his hand. It had become a tradition for the two of you to always meet up by the lake before curfew to talk about your day and practice your kissing so it wouldn’t look fake. 

“Hey,” you said, taking a seat next to him. Luke threw his cigarette to the ground, stepped on it, and almost instinctively wrapped an arm around your waist, kissing your temple. “Blink-182?” you asked, nodding at the MP3 he had on his lap. 

“The Smashing Pumpkins,” Luke answered, taking his earphones off. “Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness is one of the best albums ever made.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I’ll take your word for it,” you said. Luke smiled and poked your side. 

“So, there’s something I need to talk to you about,” you began, but Luke held up his hand as a way to get you to stop.

“Can I say something first?” he asked, looking shy for probably the first time since the day you met him. 

You nodded and let him take the lead of the conversation. “Alright, so… I’m kind of shit with words so I’m sorry if this doesn’t make any sense but this past week has probably been the best week of my life. And I’m not even fucking around, I don’t have many friends–apart from Annabeth, and getting to be with you is the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

“Being your friend is the greatest gift the gods have ever given me, and sometimes I feel like I don’t even deserve it. I’m a mess of a person, and you’re well… you’re you,” Luke stared deeply into your eyes, “And I just wanted to let you know that—”

Luke didn’t get to finish his sentence because this time it was you who cut him off with a kiss. You could taste the cigarette on his lips as he brought you closer to him, running a hand down your back and deepening the kiss before pulling away and moving to kiss your neck. 

Luke began to trail kisses down your throat and only stopped to whisper a low “Look at you, what would Aphrodite say? I’m sure she’d be proud.”

Aphrodite.

You pushed him away the moment you remembered your mother. “Silena apologized. We can stop pretending now.”

Luke was silent and just stared at you, his fingers moving to fidget with the wire of his earphones. “Oh, right,” he cleared his throat. “It’s Sunday, I forgot.”

You knew he didn’t.

“Yup, so we can go back to normal now,” you said, looking away from his eyes because you knew it would only take one look into them for you to kiss him again.

“Good,” Luke stood up, not daring to even shoot you a glance, and walked away. Leaving you alone by the lake with the lingering smell of his cheap stolen cologne mixed with the cigarette he was smoking. 

It didn’t help that you were welcomed into your cabin with hugs and your siblings congratulating you for breaking up with the son of Hermes. Sure, you weren’t the perfect sister anymore because you dated Luke Friendless-Freak Castellan, but knowing they liked you just because you were with him and then broke his heart made you want to set the cabin on fire. 

The main rule of the Aphrodite Cabin was something your siblings were extremely proud of, but the thought of its existence made you want to storm into Mount Olympus by yourself and yell at your mother for putting all these useless ideas into their heads. 

For a child of Aphrodite to prove themselves, they must make someone fall in love with them and then break that someone's heart. 

Is it possible for the rule to backfire? For the child of Aphrodite to accidentally fall in love with someone and then break their own heart because of it? You didn’t even know if that was an option, but you were sure that’s exactly what you were going through right now. 

It was hard for you to go to sleep that night because your mind kept replaying the past week on a loop. Your conversation with Luke by your cabin. The night of the bonfire. The conversation by the lake about his scar. Sparring with him. Going on a million fake dates. The night on the forge. Your last conversation with him. 

“Look at you, what would Aphrodite say? I’m sure she’d be proud.” 

꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱

You could feel Luke staring at you. Again. 

You were helping Annabeth strategize for Capture The Flag, because she had the brilliant idea to have the Athena cabin team up with Hermes and Aphrodite. You didn’t know much about fighting and spent most of the time sitting with your sisters during the game, but that didn’t mean you didn’t enjoy helping them come up with new plans. 

Once the three of you were done, Annabeth excused herself with an awkward “I think Malcolm wanted me to help him go through some maps. You two have fun… chatting!” and left as fast as she could, leaving you alone with Luke. 

You watched her leave the amphitheater and turned around to face Luke, “I can see why you like her. She’s so much like you.”

“Yeah, she’s like my little sister.”

The silence was so uncomfortable you almost broke down crying. You nodded and turned around, not being strong enough to face him, and walked away. You could hear him behind you, following you.

“Can we talk?” he pleaded.

You were about to open your mouth when Drew’s voice made you turn your head. “Gods, Castellan. It’s so embarrassing to still be hung up on your ex.” 

Luke sighed, “Hello to you too, Tanaka.” 

“Can you leave her alone? She doesn’t want to talk to you,” Drew said through a fake smile. 

“Oh, really? Did she tell you that?” Luke answered, tilting his head as he spoke and making eye contact with you. Wordlessly begging you to please talk to him. 

You stayed silent and looked away from him. Luke let out an incredulous laugh before nodding his head. “Good to know you’re back to being their little pet.” 

Drew rolled her eyes and walked away, shoving Luke as she walked past him. “So? You’re just not going to say anything?” Luke said. 

“What do you want me to say, Castellan?” 

“Tell me that last week didn’t mean anything to you,” Luke answered, his voice trembling. 

“Why do you care? I thought I was nothing but Drew’s little pet,” you replied, trying your best to not look weak in front of him.

Luke ran a hand through his hair and stepped closer to you, “I’m sure you’re thinking the exact same thing about yourself.” 

You hated that he was right.

The truth made your blood boil. “I don’t want any of your shit,” Luke let out a genuine laugh this time, a mocking look in his eyes. “Oh, so now she can curse?” 

You hated him for seeing the real you. You hated him for knowing the truth. You hated yourself for loving him.

“Fuck you, Castellan,” Luke hummed before stepping even closer to you and placing a hand on your waist, leaning to whisper in your ear. “I’m sure you’d love to do that again, right?” Luke’s smell was taking all over your senses and making your knees go weak. He continued, “Because even if we do it in the darkness of the Forge… it is still two friends fake dating because your mother might be watching.” 

You found the strength to press your hands against his chest and push him away, “Don’t talk to me ever again.” 

You spent the rest of the day with your siblings and friends, too afraid to leave their side because you didn’t trust yourself. Because you knew that if you were left alone for a second—you’d run straight to him. 

You sat next to Silena in the dining pavilion. Helped Katie and the Dyonisus cabin grow more strawberries by keeping them company. Walked with Michael to the bonfire, and stayed with Drew throughout the entire singalong. 

As always, Luke was sitting by himself, his MP3 player in his hand and his eyes were set on you. 

You walked back to your cabin when the singalong was over and helped your siblings get ready for bed. You were about to go to sleep when Valentina whispered your name, saying she had something for you.

“We found it last night under your bed, Drew wanted to give it to the harpies but I managed to take it away from her,” a frown made its way to your face.”What do you mean?”

“We found this,” She pulled out a badly wrapped gift from under her pillows. You were confused until she told you to open it.

 It was a bright pink MP3 player. 

“Oh,” you whispered, your hands shook as you stared at it. “I’ve got to—”

“It’s okay,” Valentina whispered. “He’s probably by the lake.”

You gave your half-sister a hug before running out of your cabin, and making your way to the lake. You could see Luke’s silhouette in the distance, and the sight only made you run faster.

You took a moment to catch your breath before saying, “The Smashing Pumpkins?”

Luke turned around at the sound of your voice. “Blink-182” he answered with a small smirk.

“Uh, of course,” you said as you walked closer to him. “Alright, listen. You were right.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you continued with a smile. “So, it turns out I may or may not be in love with this certain guy, and he may or may not be my type or whatever it is my siblings say.”

Luke took a step closer to you. “There’s a chance this guy thinks I’m going through a phase and only fake dated him to piss off my siblings and mother but the truth is… I don’t even care about them whenever I’m with him.” 

His hand moved to caress your cheek, “That’s cute and all but how does this guy know you truly mean that?” 

“I’m not going to make out with him at the bonfire, so I guess all he needs to do is believe me,” you whispered, your eyes moving from Luke’s eyes to his lips.

Luke smiled before answering, “Believe you? That’s alright with me,” and pressing his lips to yours.

Luke was right. Aphrodite would be proud. 

[thelov3lybookworm]

Bets

Summary: being bet on was not in Y/n's plans for the year, nor was being confessed to.

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 2080

Warnings: none honestly, except ic placing bets on yn and luc, and luc eavesdropping lol. kinda a crackfic 🤭

A/n: based on this request. it took me like over a year to get to it, but i love it hehe. lucien.exe is my fav to write 😚

(not proofread we ride like men 💪🏻)

ANYWAY ENJOYYYY 🥳

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

"So... Lucien?"

Y/n flushed, dropping her gaze onto the apple she was peeling for Nyx as Feyre fed him the tiny pieces of fruit.

"Yes."

Y/n could see Feyre grin, even as her eyes stayed focused on the fruit.

From next to Y/n, Nesta cut in. "How long has this infatuation been going on for?"

Y/n finally raised her eyes, glancing once at the knowing smile of Mor before she turned to Nesta. "Since he came to the Night court."

"So are you going to do anything about it?"

"I... don't know. Should I?"

Nesta sighed. "What do you like about him?"

Y/n swallowed, thinking. "He’s so kind. He is caring, and he’s just got these gorgeous eyes." she leaned back, her eyes floating away from her friends and fixated on the window, her lips tilting in a smile.

"Even the scars?" Feyre had a glint in her eyes that Y/n could not understand, but she ignored it.

"Especially those scars. They’re so beautiful. They are a testament to his bravery and everything he’s survived."

"Okay okay that’s cute and all, but" Nesta huffed, not interested in Y/n’s speech about his bravery. Y/n was not surprised. "What about his muscles? Surely you’re not that innocent to not have fantasised." Y/n could feel the smirk in Nesta’s voice, and she huffed.

"That is mean of you. I am indeed very innocent and nice minded."

Mor snorted. "Yeah. Not one of us believes that."

Y/n rolled her eyes, turning to Nyx. "You believe me, right?"

The little toddler, despite not understanding, raised his fist, babbling nonsense happily. Y/n smiled, running her hand over his fingers gently, her mind going back to Lucien.

The very first time she had interacted with him, she had fallen for him right then and there. She said as much to her nosy friends, reminiscing.

Y/n had taken up the job of taking his dinner to him, as he was still getting adjusted to the sudden relocation. Feeding people was something Y/n loved immensely, so she had made the dinner that night after asking Y/n for Lucien’s favourites.

He had opened the door when she knocked, brows furrowed, and she had smiled at him. "Dinner for you."

Lucien had nodded then, opening the door wider to take the tray from her. To be polite, he had also asked her to come in. Y/n contemplated, but agreed, wanting to get him to trust them, to show him that the inner circle wished no ill will.

The two had sat and talked for hours, and with each word he spoke, Y/n’s admiration for the male grew. The way he seemed so eloquent, so knowledgeable. He had a curious soul, and Y/n figured he liked to learn new things.

"Thank you for the dinner. Whoever made it must have some sort of magic, because this is one of the best foods I've ever had." He had mumbled, his lips forming a small smile.

Y/n had only blushed, ducking her head. "Don’t thank me. I hope you liked it. I made it."

His eyebrows had risen in surprise. "I didn’t- mother, it was delicious."

Y/n giggled, taking Nyx from Feyre after he pushed away a piece of apple for the third time. "He was so nice to me, even though he had every right to hate me. I guess my infatuation started then."

"That does not seem like infatuation to me, you know." Feyre said, smirking.

Y/n’s cheeks reddened, and she ducked her head to Nyx’s, trying to hide it. She was right, it was no infatuation. It was love, plain and simple.

Nyx giggled, his fist wrapping around Y/n’s hair and tugging. She gently pried it away from him, pulling him close to her. "Maybe. But can you blame me? He’s such a great person."

"Handsome too." Nesta piped up, making Y/n laugh.

"That too. But he’s kind, and to me, that is the most attractive thing about a male. He reads too, loves poems. Which makes me love him a little more."

Y/n glanced up helplessly, wondering if she would ever get the confidence to say these things to him. And then wished she hadn’t looked up, because looking past Nesta, her gaze met with the same mismatched gaze she had been praising a few minutes ago.

He stared back at her, looking as embarrassed as he felt. His eyes remained wide, his cheeks reddening with each moment he continued to hold eye contact.

"Oh Mother…" Y/n whispered to herself, feeling herself burn, feeling like she was caught stealing cookies. "I need to go." She whispered to no one in particular, handing Nyx to Feyre quickly before winnowing off.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Lucien had never thought, not even in his dreams, that he’d get confessed love to on a random friday. Almost, technically confessed to.

He had had nothing to do all day, and so he had accepted Cassian’s invitation to join him and the other two illyrians for some drinks. The evening had gone exceptionally well, with the four males laughing like never before, discussing sports and gagging when any of them talked about what was going on with their mates and romantic life.

Well, except for Lucien, of course. He didn’t have a mate. And he was not complaining, as he did not have the lack of females flinging themselves onto him.

But still, he couldn’t help but acknowledge that having someone to hold at night and love at all times would be a nice thing.

Rhysand had Feyre, Cassian had Nesta. Azriel and Gwyn had recently found out about their bond and were going to accept it soon, from what Azriel said. He was putting it off for when things would feel right, for when he deemed his preparations special enough to be worthy of his mate.

And Lucien wondered, how would it feel, to have that kind of love, that kind of awareness of another being that was made for him. To have someone’s very soul intertwined with his.

But he also wondered, what would it feel like to choose someone to love, someone he chose to spend his life with. And when he thought about that, only one name came to his mind.

Y/n.

If he had to choose, it would be her. He already had what he assumed was infatuation with the female. The way she spoke, her voice, her wit, her smartness. The way her eyes always lit up when talking about something she loved, it mesmerised Lucien. The way she hated doing something physical, be it training, or climbing too many stairs. It was amusing to find her groaning and huffing when Cassian even mentioned doing an extra hour of training.

He knew almost everything about her. From the way she liked her coffee to her favourite books, he knew it all. Had read those books so she’d have someone to discuss it with too.

The only thing he didn’t know was whether she reciprocated his feelings. But he didn't have to wait longer to find out, as the moment he stepped into the River house, he heard her voice, giggling along with her friends, talking about him.

He had frozen in his spot, his eyes moving to the smirking face of Rhysand, and then he’d heard Feyre asking Y/n about his scars. He knew she was aware of his presence, and her still asking the question, sounding like his scars were something Y/n wouldn’t have liked, it made Lucien sad. He hated those scars as it was. If Y/n didn’t like them, Lucien would likely have a breakdown.

But then he heard Y/n’s response, and he knew Feyre asked the question for his own benefit.

He had begun to blush the longer Y/n spoke, her voice giddy and filled with so much love. When he couldn’t stand there and be the object of the illyrian males’ amused and teasing glances, he stepped into the living room, his gaze quickly finding Y/n.

He didn’t look at him at first, so busy smiling and cuddling Nyx. The boy too seemed to love the attention he was getting, giggling and babbling happily as he fisted her hair. Y/n pulled him to her chest, and it made Lucien melt on the inside the way Nyx melted into her chest.

He almost wished it was him she was hugging, and then immediately he felt like an idiot for trying to compare with a baby.

And then she had met his gaze, her face flushing as chagrin stole across her eyes, and she hurried to hand Nyx back to Feyre and winnow away before Lucien could say anything.

Oh, but how he wished she hadn’t.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Y/n’s pov.

Y/n hid away for two full days before Lucien finally came knocking on her door. She had hoped he would leave her alone, but alas, he knew all her secret hideouts.

She cursed herself for showing him all of them like an overexcited toddler when she found herself staring back at him once she opened the door.

"Lucien." she mumbled in greeting, moving aside to let him into her home. It was almost on the outskirts of the city, the surroundings quiet and peaceful. It was part of the reason she had bought it, to be able to turn her mind off and just exist when her friends got too much to handle.

Lucien smiled, walking in and settling down on the couch. "It took me long enough to find you. I must admit, I was going crazy trying to figure out where you could be after that night."

Y/n covered her face, embarrassed. She hadn’t expected him to talk about that evening so early on in the conversation.

His soft laugh drew her from her self deprecating thoughts, and she parted her fingers to look at him. He stared back at her, his eyes soft and that beautiful smile on his lips. He looked so carefree, like some sort of burden had been lifted from him.

"Y/n, I came here to tell you… I like you too. A lot."

She blinked, surprised. But instead of explaining himself, he stood, wrapping his fingers around her wrist and tugging gently. She let him pry her hands off her face and push her to sit onto the couch, her eyes fixed on his hands because she was too shy to meet his gaze.

He kneeled in front of her, holding her hands tightly in his. His gaze was fixated on their connection, but Y/n knew that he was paying more attention to her than what he looked at.

"I’ve been wanting to talk to you about it for quite some time now, but I always stopped because I didn’t know whether you liked me back."

Y/n raised a brow. "You must be blind, then, because everyone could tell I did."

He laughed. "Well, apparently they all could, if they had bets going."

Her mouth dropped open as he glanced up at her with a small smirk. "They- they bet on us?"

He nodded. "Mor, Nesta, Feyre and Rhys won."

"I have so many questions."

He moved to sit beside her. "The girls said that we’d be confessing before spring. Rhys would never go against Feyre, so he too forced his way into their group."

Y/n snorted. "Typical Rhys behaviour."

"Cassian threw a fit after you left, saying that was not a confession. But he had to pay up because Gwyn, Az and Amren already did at dinner."

Y/n huffed, leaning into his side. "This is stupid. Never imagined I would be bet upon."

His arms wound tight around her without a moment’s delay. "Neither did I, but here we are."

The two sat in blessed silence for a moment, before Lucien decided to shatter it. He leaned in, his breath hot at her ear as he whispered, trying to be sultry.

"So. My muscles? I heard you fantasize about them."

"I also fantasize about killing you sometimes. Wanna hear about that?" Y/n snapped, glaring up at him even as her cheeks burned.

He only laughed, unaffected by her scowl, and closed the distance between them. First, he pressed his lips to her cheek. Then her eyes. Forehead. Nose. Then finally.

Finally, he kissed her.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

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Lucien Vanserra Taglist: @mirandasidefics @tele86

[forwards-beckon-rebound]

dick grayson instagram hcs

basics

we are pretending dick is not a cop in this because i said so!

he's a professional model but also does perform at a local circus as a special guest

he's not actually going to the olympics (yet) but the american team has been trying to contact him for the better part of the decade so maybe you can convince him to go

he's kind of like one of your friends who you think is chill and normal but then you go to their ig and you find out they're something of a local celebrity?

everybody in gotham already knew him as bruce wayne's son but also he went semi viral on tiktok and got a bunch of new fans (and some edits) out of it

he used to have a less serious pfp but his management convinced him to use this one instead

followers + following

obviously you're there

as well as his friends and family

he manages to get away with following the superheroes since i mean, basically everybody else does as well

also a lot of industry people that he meets, both for modeling and gymnastics/trapeze

highlights

he is an abuser of the story function

will spend any opportunity to brag about his pretty girlfriend and all of the dates and trips you guys go on

he is weirdly good at taking photos, will give you tips on how to pose to get your best angles

also he has a lot of fans so he likes to post a photo of you every once in a while to remind everyone that he's happily taken

will also repost your work related stuff to be like hey look at how cool my gf is at her job!

dude has a million highlights that he updates for the fashion weeks each year

a lot of photos of his looks, him meeting with certain designers, it's mostly his team who posts this

same thing with his shows in the sense that it's usually other people (including you) taking photos of him while he's performing

but this is a more personal venture of his so he asks everyone to send him the pics and he decides which ones to post

will also repost stories from fans who came to the show!

oooh this man posts the most jaw dropping photos of himself

he will have just woken up and post a photo that makes you think it's so unfair how perfect somebody can be

he just likes to post when he feels good about himself and i support!

haley and (i did not come up with a name for your guys' cat so you guys can have fun with that!) also have their own dedicated highlight

it is exactly as cute and wholesome as you would think it is

there are even more highlights if you keep on scrolling. he has highlights for each year's fashion weeks, as mentioned, as well as trips you guys have been on (the most recent is a trip to greece and italy!)

posts

once again he's one of those infuriating sort of famous people who are like fine as hell but they post just enough cute and relatable content that he actually seems like a real and very nice guy (fun fact, he is!)

you can tell immediately when he's been on a trip because he'll have at least 3 posts up and they're all of the same place

you guys are like the photo taking couple

if you weren't good at taking pics before you started dating, his skills definitely rub off on you

he'll do the thing where he gets you to pose for him so he can take a photo of you and then you take the same style of photo for him

it's disgusting you guys have matching photos on your feeds of each other

if it wasn't already common knowledge that you guys are dating, i can imagine the conspiracy theory videos being like guys they were in the same place? at the same time? and they took the same type of pics? i think they're dating

he loves cooking with you (while i personally think it would be really funny if he can't cook, in some of the comics they do mention that he can cook, but either way he enjoys cooking with you)

you guys are like the parent friends who host dinner at their place and there's usually a theme surrounding seasonal ingredients and everything's plated really well

you probably watch cooking shows together and are now you can't serve a dish without some microgreens or sliced radish on top or something

also yes he did plan the picnic and he's quite proud of it

he watched all of those charcuterie board hacks to make the flowers and fancy cheese arrangements

and there were chocolate dipped strawberries, champagne with glasses, and freshly baked cookies (alfred might have helped with that one)

also yes he does wear glasses!!!! only at home when he's reading or staring at a screen too long. his prescription's not that bad

jason ver.

[russellsppttemplates]

Never letting you go (Max Verstappen)

There was nothing stopping you and Max now

Note: english is not my first language. This is the first Max big piece to sort of introduce their arc, let me know what you think! ✨️

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions Jos forbidding Max and reader of dating, curse words

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"What do you mean you're going to the Grand Prix?", you quirked your brow as your friend Cara sipped her coffee, "I thought you said you'd never be caught dead one of those", you chuckled.

"Matthew's company got a bunch of passes because they got a deal with one of the sponsors - I think? - I don't know much about it, all I know is that he brought three home because he thought you'd like to join us", she offered.

You never hid how much you enjoyed watching Formula One, even if watching it, especially in the last couple of years, often brought emotionally heavy memories back.

"That's nice, count me in! What type of passes are they?", you questioned, taking a bite from the cake on your plate.

"I don't know, he was talking all about them and I must admit I zoned out", she admitted, "but he said they were really good! He was very surprised at what the passes had, but his boss is very cheap so I don't know how great they actually are considering the possible comparison", she smiled as you nodded, "count me in, though. It's been a while since I stepped foot on one of them", you recalled.

The last race you attended was when Max was in Formula Three still. The paddock was so big and crowded with so many people, you doubted you'd bump into him. It wouldn't do you any good, would it?

"How did you get hospitality passes?", you gasped as Matthew handed you the lanyard, "they've invested a lot of money so I guess the sponsors didn't mind loosening the belt", he shrugged, putting his own around his neck after scanning it.

"Thank you for this, by the way", you flashed him a smile, "no worries, Y/N, the only way I could convince her to come was if you joined us, and I don't mind actually spending the weekend with someone who also knows a little about the sport", he chuckled as Cara laced her arms with her fiancé, "I'm glad he has you to talk to as well, there's only so much feigned interest I can muster up", she rolled her eyes.

Scuderia Alpha Tauri had been Toro Rosso, but despite the name change, as soon as you walked in, some faces were still familiar from the pictures you got sent from Max on gia first season with them.

"Why did you get interested in Formula One anyway?", Matthew asked you while you sipped on a latte, "I always loved the idea of the cars going very very fast, and then when I actually had the knowledge to understand how they worked, they really intrigued me", you offered, "I also had a friend who was very into it, so he also escalated my interest in it".

"He didn't pull you enough to work on motor sport though?", Matt wondered.

"I didn't enjoy the competitiveness of all of it", you admitted, "it's very strict, and if you want to be successful, it takes the good things away - your family, your friends", you opened your heart to him, thankfully noticing it and sorting the heartfelt confession seemingly about a job, "they travel a lot and they're really competitive that is, I'd never be able to do that for a job", you smiled, hoping you saved yourself from further questions.

"That's why you did mechanical engineering, then?", he asked, "for the most part, yes", you replied, "Oh, they're starting free practice", you smiled, looking over to the track from the balcony seats.

Sophie walked into the RedBull hospitality, looking for her family. Because it was Monaco, they felt safe enough to bring the Lio and Luka to the paddock, knowing they would be close to home in case things didn't go well as planned.

"Grandma!", the oldest boy called her from his spot on his father's lap, his brother sleeping on his mother's chest.

"Hey, my dears", she greeted, "You won't believe who I found on my way here", Sophie began, "I'm surprised Max didn't tell me he invited Y/N. It's a shame she isn't here with us, though", she commented.

The first indicator of surprise should be the way the blond woman looked at her mother, "what do you mean Y/N is here?", she whisper-yelled.

"I just saw her in the Alpha Tauri hospitality, I was walking with Helmut and he was headed there, that's when I noticed her. Max didn't tell you?", she quirked an eyebrow just as her son sat down next to them.

"What didn't I tell who?", Max spoke, setting his plate of food down on the table.

"Why didn't you tell us you invited Y/N for this weekend?", Victoria was the first to scold him, hitting his arm in a sisterly manner, "and in Alpha Tauri of all places? I'm sure they would've bent the rules a little and give you a pass so she could be a RedBull guest!".

Max thought he heard incorrectly. Y/N, his Y/N was in the paddock, in the sister team of the one he now drove for.

"I, I didn't offer her anything", Max said, his brother in-law looking at him weirdly as well, "I don't know how or why she is here, but I had nothing to do with it. We haven't spoken in a while", he mumbled. A while, three years, same thing, he supposes.

"Well, I just saw her. You should go say hi, I'm sure she would love to but she can't exactly find you where she is, it has to be the other way around", Sophie offered.

"What makes you believe she would?", Max questioned, both himself and his mother and sister.

"Because the way you never forgot her, she never forgot you", Victoria sterned, "don't you think she deserves your attention? She was in it for the long run, Max, and maybe she has moved on, maybe even has someone", the thought alone made Max loose his cool, "but she was your friend, the person you trusted most in the world and you let her slip".

"Don't sugar coat it, please", Max sarcastically replied.

"It's true, Max, and you know it", Sophie said, sensing her son didn't want to talk about the topic, but not allowing him to leave the table without a piece of her mind as well.

Max needed to put on his suit again, ready for qualifying, walking along the corridor until he found his door.

"Hey, before you go", Victoria called her brother as he was about to go into his driver's room, "Lio is really fussy, so we're just going back to your place, I'm sorry", she said.

"It's fine, whatever you feel the most comfortable with", he said, waving at his nephews and brother in-law.

"We will be supporting you from home, then", she said, kissing his cheek, "And Max? I know you're not used to it, but follow your heart", she smiled.

"Can I do that now?", he softly bit back, smiling and blushing at his words.

"What's stopping you?", Victoria said as she walked back to her family.

"Who is that?", Jos asked as Max asked him if he could invite you over for dinner before the season began.

The conversations with Toro Rosso were getting serious and the opportunity for a seat in Formula One was right there, up for him to grab if he worked enough.

"She's my friend, you know Y/N", Max tried to reason with his father.

"For this to work, Max, I think you need to distance yourself from home", Jos advised, ignoring his mention of you and carrying on with his lecture, "I'm talking no parties, no trips to come and see friends and family - I really think those are just getting in the way between you and the career you deserve".

The statement was clear, and Max knew better than to question it.

"I've spoken to your mother - she wasn't the biggest fan -, but you really need to focus on this", Jos reiterated, "no friends, much less girlfriends", he chuckled.

The dinner ended up being just Jos, Max and Victoria, the thought of having you there quickly erased in his head.

When Max met up with you before he left for the season, he was antsy. Just a week before, you had stolen innocent kisses from eachother's lips and revelled in the feeling of being in eachother's embrace without a care in the world. And it felt good, so good, like the piece that was missing in Max's life finally completed the puzzle.

"Hey", you greeted, kissing the corner of his lips and allowing him to pull you down to sit on the sofa.

"I spoke to my dad, I'm leaving in a few days", Max said, "there's some testing they want me to do still", he mumbled, lacing your fingers in his.

"And where do we end up?", you asked the million euro question. Truthfully, you entertained the thought. Even though being away from Max for most of the year would be a challenge, the love you felt for him was too big, too great for you to forgo that challenge. You were his and he would be yours.

"It's not going to work, Y/N. I need to focus on racing", he stated blankly despite how much it hurt him to utter those words out to you as the conversation with his father resonated with him.

"Max your focus is getting a Formula One seat", his father sterned, "do you know how hard it is? How much effort and work you have to put in? There can't be any distractions!"

"But Y/N isn't a distraction!", Max reasoned. If anything, you were the one keeping him humble and with both feet on the ground at all times. You cared for him, not because of his racing, who he was or who he could become, but because you loved eachother.

You'd never do anything to ruin his career, Max thought as he worked up the courage to tell you all of it. He couldn't get distracted, not now. He couldn't afford making mistakes because he had a girlfriend back at home waiting on him.

Your understanding, however, wasn't aligned with his expectations. He hoped you'd fight, at least, but you swalled your tears and nodded, "okay, Max. I hope you get your seat, you deserve it so much, I know it will happen".

Max put in on pole, leaving you to smile and snap a picture of the moment, wondering if you'd have the courage to send it to him.

"So, does this mean it's over?", Cara asked, "Because I could do with going home, actually", she nudged.

"Let's go, then!", you smiled, putting your phone in your bag and looking for the way out, ending up following the other guests into the paddock.

"Y/N, dear!", you heard someone call your name, and on cue, you looked for the voice despite the fact that it wad unlikely someone recognised you there.

Sophie didn't age, you thought, as you looked at the source of the voice that called you.

"I'm not going to hold you up, guys, you can go!", you smiled, waving at Matthew and Cara once you assured them you would be fine.

"I'm sorry, Sophie - they're my friends, and he was the one who got the passes from his office", you apologised for leaving her to wait a little for you.

"It's alright, dear. It's been so long since I've seen you", she nudged, "I'm sure Max would love to see you, too!", she jumped straight in.

"Would he, though?", you squinted your eyes.

"He would, Y/N", Sophie said earnestly, "I saw you this morning - at Alpha Tauri -, and he knows you're here", she smiled, "I'm assuming you're watching the race, too. Pay him a visit, okay?", she rubbed your shoulder and left a kiss on your cheek, "He's also my ride home, so I need to go look for him! Bye, Y/N!".

Race day meant rush everywhere, so you got to the paddock just in time before everyone rushed inside, finding the perfect spot to watch the race.

"I need to take this call, one second", you said to Cara, recognising Max's contact on your phone.

"Y/N, hi! I didn't think you'd pick up actually", you could hear the nervousness on his voice, "thanks for the picture, by the way, it was very... nice".

"It's no problem really, I thought it would be a good memory to keep", you smiled, "are you ready for the race? Or do you want me to give you a pep talk?", you chuckled. Back in the day, whenever he didn't feel too confident about a race, you had the power to help him out his head in the right place and bring his winning mentality to light.

"I'm fine, actually", he smiled, "I- I was wondering if you'd like to meet up later", he gulped, "I'd like to talk to you, but it's difficult until the race finishes, and then debriefs and media and all that".

"Sure, text me when you're done then", you stated boldly, "have a good race Max, you know I'm supporting you".

"Even if you're with Alpha Tauri?", he joked.

"I never stopped supporting you, it's not going to be a guest pass that's going to change it", you said as he bid you goodbye, ending the call and finding your friends.

When Max won, you clapped unashamedly as everyone else seemed to join you in your excitement, and after the race celebrations were done with, you waited patiently for the text to get to your phone.

"So you're staying back?", Cara asked, "I am, I'm meeting a friend", you explained. At her curious stare, you furthered, "do you remember the guy I told you about when you tried to set up that double date?", she nodded, "yes, the guy you were friends with, and when you both wanted to take a step forward, he had this big shot as his dream career and his father wouldn't allow him to date anyone", she said as she realized, "my goodness, he's here? Y/N, go for it!", she encouraged, "I know you still have feelings for him, who knows? Maybe this is your chance to reconnect", she rubbed your shoulder.

After you bid goodbye to Cara and Matthew, a text go through to your phone.

From: Max

Mum is waiting for you at the door :)

Approaching the hospitality, you quickly spotted Sophie, "c'mon in, dear! Max wanted me to get you myself, he was afraid no one would ler you in", she chuckled, guiding you through until you were in their dining area.

"Y/N!", Max beamed, setting down the crayons he was drawing with at the table with Luka and walking up to you.

"Hey everyone!", you waved at Victoria, putting a pin the two little boys' curious stares as they looked at you so you could hug Max.

"Congratulations, Max, I knew you could do it", you whispered into his skin, his arms hugging you so tightly against him.

"Thank you, Y/N", he spoke, "I missed you so much, I missed this so much", he squeezed you one more time before allowing you to greet the rest of his family.

"This is Tom, and that's Lio and Luka", Victoria said after she hugged you tighlty, "say hi, guys!", she encouraged as the two little copies of Max waved back at you.

"We're going to head home, it was great seeing you, Y/N!", Sophie announced, "I'm sure we'll see eachother a lot more from now on", Victoria complimented, helping her husband pack up the kids' belongings and toys so they could retire to Max's apartment.

"I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner sometime this week", he jumped straight forward, "I'm having dinner with the team today and then the rest of the grid want to go to the club, so I wouldn't be able to spend that much time with you, and I want to be able to just focus on you", he smiled.

"That's fine by me, I appreciate the thought", you smiled as he led you to one of the tables, asking one of the caffé staff for something to drink for the two of you.

“Listen, I think, I think we found each again for a reason", he began boldly, not sure if this was the way to go after not having spoken to you in a couple of years. Still, it wasn't a lie.

"Define found, considering we've been iving in the same city for nearly a year", you smiled, "although you don't spend much time here anyway, so I guess that's a nice enough excuse", you teased, your foot tapping his shin playfully under the table.

"So, Monaco, hm?", Max started, "I didn't expect you to live here out of all places", he nudged, wanting to know more about your move but afraid he was stepping in vulnerable territory.

"I did it because of my earnings for sure. I've got to save as much as I can on tax on the fortune I make as a female engineer", you sternly said as he looked the most surprised you'd ever seen him, "I'm joking - not all of us move to Monaco so our million euro salaries have better taxes", you teased.

"Why did you do it, then?", he asked, smiling at how familiar it all seemed. Just like old times, he thought.

"The company I work for was the one that needed the tax benefits", you clicked your tongue, "and they wanted people to move here. Only one of my colleagues moved here with her whole family, as they expected, so they ended up calling the ones that weren't attached to anything or anyone in particular, and I was one of them", you shrugged your shoulders, "I moved to a new country with a different language, the only people I knew were my work colleagues, so I had no one to complain about them to, but I make it work - at least I like to think I do", you smiled.

Not attached to anyone, he recalled, humming at your response, "it's not such a bad place to live, right? Granted I don't spend much time year, but still enough to appreciate it", Max spoke.

"How about you, Mr World Champion", you nudged, "how does it feel?".

"Obviously it's great, and everything that I worked for", he added, knowing the underlying topic in the conversation, "I get to drive fast cars and I travel the world, there's not much left for it to be the complete dream", he said, gingerly touching your fingers over the table and accepting your hold when you laced them together.

Conversation was flowing easily until one of the employees told Max that he would have to go and get ready for the dinner, meaning you would have to part ways.

"Does Tuesday work for you? I'm not sure how well I'll be tomorrow", he chuckled, "yes, that's fine by me, just text me the address and the time", you smiled, getting up and kissing his cheek, "have a good time, Max, but be careful with the alcohol, I'd hate to have to pick you up again", you reminded him of the time he got way too drunk and he insisted he would only go home if you came to pick him up.

.

Dinner was great and Max invited you back to his place, hoping you'd be able to talk properly about the elephant in the room in a more private and comfortable place.

"You're struggling there, aren't you? Even with your itty bitty small hands?", Max teased as your pinky just about stretched enough for you to not lose everything by dumping the contents of your bag on the sidewalk.

As you and Max left the restaurant, you fiddled with your wallet in your bag, hoping to keep the card the waiter gave you safe for the next time you wanted to visit the place.

"I do not have itty bitty small hands!", you argued, shaking your bag a little to make sure everything was safely in place.

"We need to have the same starting line - like", you rearranged them so your wrists would be touching. Still, it didn't make much of a difference on your end. It looked like it even highlighted a few more differences, "yours is much bigger, I give up", you giggled.

"See?", Max said as he held your hand out against his, "these are the size of fairy hands! Tinkerbell probably has bigger hands than yours!", he exclaimed as you noticed how much bigger his hand was compared to yours. His fingers were a little bit thicker than yours and his palm covered all of your hand almost completely.

Now or never, Max thought as he laced your fingers in his once you let your arms drop and rest by your side. His thumb rubbed your skin and warmed you up, "was this your plan all along?", you wondered, feeling the bravery around you two and choosing to act on it.

"Lacing my hand in yours or proving to you that my biggest mistake was letting you go all of those years ago?", Max stated as he looked deeply into your eyes.

"We should talk about this inside", you bit your lip, allowing him to guide you through the apartment complex he lived in.

His living room was decorated in classy tones, probably with the help of him mother and sister, as you sat down on the sofa and face eachother.

"I know I apologised at the time, but I'm still sorry, Y/N", Max said, "at the time it was the dream and I didn't have much room for my own decisions. Still, I should've fought", he concluded.

"You didn't blatantly acknowledge it and decided we couldn't be together, Max", you conforted despite the hurt you felt at the time, "it hurt, - like a bitch actually -, but not because you were following your dream. I never wanted to pull you back and get in the way of your achievements", you gulped, "but I would be lying if I said I wouldn't like to give this a go, to give us a chance", you smiled.

"I know I have crazy schedules - I am barely here during the season -, but you were always the one I thought about. When I first raced in F1, when I got my first podium, my first win, my bad races - I wanted you there", he admitted, blue eyes looking into yours, "I can't promise that it will be easy, but I'll never risk you or our relationship, that's non negotiable", he stated.

Moving closer to him, you cupped his cheek with your palm, the slight stubble tickling your skin, "I'm in, Max", you smiled, taking the plunge and kissing his mouth, lips moving in sync as his hands pulled you into his lap.

The blissful moment was interrupted by a meow, Jimmy and Sassy walking into the living room, "Oh, guys", Max held you close to him as the cats sniffled you, "this is Jimmy and Sassy, my cats, took then long enough to leave the guest bedroom", he smiled as you tried to pet them, "cute, they seem nice enough - for cats anyway".

[writtenbymoonflower]

Hello, author-san! How are you? Could I please request some angst for the poly!marauders, where R is someone full of tattoos or piercings but is smart, a sweetheart, golden retriever coded, and Lily is their friend. Lily knows about their infatuation with the boys. Being a great friend, Lily wants to set them up, but they're a bit uncertain about R because of their tattoos. Then one night, R overhears them talking in the common room with Lily and voices out their opinions regarding R, causing R to become insecure and try to hide it. You can continue however you like! Angst with a happy ending if it's okay! 🥺

Thank you, author-san!

💀🌻

Thanks for requesting sweetheart! Sorry it took so long, hope this is okay! gn!reader x poly!marauders, pre-relationship

cw: prejudice associated with tattoos and piercings, swearing, angst to happy ending

1.8k words (oopsie)

It was like you could hear their words on repeat as you raced up the stairs. What hurt the most is that you knew that some people would judge, but you hadn’t expected it from them. 

“I just don’t know about 'em, Lils.” James winced. “Like they seem nice, but you know about people who choose to look at that…” He trailed off. 

“I’m sure they’re not all bad.” Sirius cut in, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation. “But Prongs does have a point.”

“It’s just the impulsivity of it all.” Remus reasoned. “Like if you’re making rash choices like that, what else would you do.” 

That was when you left your hiding spot in the stairs and ran back to your dorm. You could hear Lily’s ‘I’m so fucking done with you being stupid’ voice as you trailed away, making you smile at the knowledge that you had such a good friend. 

But you had heard enough. They had clearly made their minds up about you. Besides, you knew your appearance was an… acquired taste, to say the least, and you couldn’t expect them to be with someone they weren’t attracted to. You didn’t think you looked that odd, but maybe your perception was skewed. No matter whose perception was more accurate, they clearly didn’t particularly like you, and it was probably best to keep your distance for now, at least until they really got to know you. 

You knew that your appearance didn’t really match your personality. People often assumed you were rude, a slacker, confrontational, or even hateful. But the opposite was true in fact. You always made good marks, you were friends with loads of people, always trying to be as open as possible. And yeah, some people were intimidated at first, but they usually warmed up very quickly. 

Apparently those three, the three you wanted the approval of the most, had not been as warm about you as you thought. 

You crawled into bed and curled into yourself, trying to get a few hours of sleep before breakfast. 

James yawned loudly, blinking his eyes rapidly to get rid of the sleepy, fuzzy film coating them. Him and his boyfriends had been up all night, getting lectured literally until the sun came up. 

He had to admit, it was for the best. All three boys had gone to bed, feeling thoroughly corrected. Even slipping into shame. 

“What the hell is wrong with you three?” Lily whisper-yelled. “James, you are the LAST person to say anything about appearances. Remember when I had to go around convincing people you hadn’t become mean after your growth spurt in fourth year? Just because you were big and scary and you hadn’t realized how you were coming across?” She scolded, before turning her head to the mouse-haired boy sitting by the fire. “And you,” She seethed. “You have no clue if her choices were ‘rash’ or not. I’ve heard plenty of rumors about your appearance, people saying similar things about you. About your ‘aggression’ just because they don’t know what’s going on with you.” She snapped her head over to Sirius, her fiery hair flipping around from the movement. “And Sirius, you’re just overcompensating because you’re jealous! You’re not fooling anyone, you would look like that in an instant if you could. You’re just too scared to do it.”

Sirius played with his thumbs, not able to dispute the accusations. None of the boys could actually. Lily could tell, she was satisfied with her work. 

“I love you three buggers,” She pressed a friendly kiss to each of their cheeks as she stormed upstairs. “You just need to stop being such idiots.” 

Sirius didn’t think anyone could change personalities that fast, but it seemed all three boys had woken up different people. That morning they had all just nodded to each other, acknowledging that their opinions were very different than they had been 24 hours ago and all walked shamefacedly down to breakfast. Sirius kept pushing his eggs around his plate, too busy staring at you to take a bite. You looked a lot different today. Your hair was ruffled in front of your face, hiding the metal glinting on your nose and eyebrow. You also had long sleeves and pants on, covering the ink detailing your skin. You still hadn’t waved at them, or even acknowledged the boys’ existence. Usually, you would be bouncing over to them, talking about the weather or whatever was on your mind at the moment. Sirius missed it if he was honest with himself. He was disappointed, he had been excited to show you his outfit. He crafted it with you in mind, teasing his hair up extra and being a bit more outlandish with his top, even stealing Marlene’s varnish to paint his nails. 

Remus missed your interest in the latest book he had read. You always had so many interesting questions and you listened so intently. He missed how you played with the hoop in your septum as you nodded along to his plot summaries. You were always so patient and careful, it made his heart crack. 

James was equally distraught. He had always prided himself on being open and friends with everyone, and he had considered you his friend, which just made him feel worse. He knew that stereotyping people never led to anything good, especially when someone's personality was completely ignored and replaced with caricature. Yes, you did look intimidating, but he actually liked it. It accentuated how soft your personality actually was. You were like a big dog that everyone was terrified of, but in reality was scared of butterflies and just wanted to love everyone. He laughed sadly, catching the other two boys' attention as he stared longingly at you. All he wanted to do was go over there, but you were completely ignoring them, so he figured it was best to just not bother you and continue on with his breakfast. 

You were being equally as forlorn, continually sneaking glances over at the boys. They looked quiet and tired, but no less handsome. You felt sick, moving to leave your breakfast and all but run to the library. You needed to study anyway, you had become so infatuated that you were ignoring your classes. You had barely made it down the corridor before you heard three sets of panicked footsteps, quickly catching up to you. You tried to walk faster, but unfortunately Remus had very long legs and he briskly made it in front of you, trapping you in. He was looking flushed, amber eyes focusing on you way too much for comfort. 

“Y/N,” He sounded out of breath. You fixed your face down and back, away from their gaze. You stopping had allowed the other two the opportunity to catch up, and soon you were face-to-face with all three of the people who apparently disliked you, but to your dismay, you were still completely attached to. 

“You guys okay?” You asked, as kindly as ever but far quieter than they were used to. 

“We’re fine, lovely.” James said, confused. “Are you okay?”

“I’m good.” You muttered, shifting your feet. 

“Babe,” Sirius scoffed. Your heart jumped at the honorific, but you quickly scolded yourself. Sirius just called everyone that. You had heard what he, what all three of them had said last night. “You ran from there like bat outta’ hell.” He said like you were being ridiculous.

“And you haven’t spoken to us all day.” Remus cut in before you could respond. 

“It’s only seven.” You mumbled.

“Still odd.” James quipped, moving ever so slightly closer to you. “You’re not okay.” He said, with enough finality that you gave up the act all together. They really weren’t going to make this easy on you. They said all those things last night, but they were still going to put you through the misery of having to listen to them say all those things directly to you. 

You sighed dejectedly, starting to pick your nails. “Look okay,” You tore the words from the back of your throat. “I know that you don’t like me or don’t think I’m nice or whatever. You don’t have to talk to me, it’s okay.” You did your best to give them a reassuring smile, even managing for water to stay out of your eyes, but their expressions didn’t make it easy. Sirius cursed and pinched the bridge of his nose, James looked like a kicked puppy, and Remus was hiding his eyes from you. You started to walk away, but you were blocked in.

“Shit, you heard last night?” Sirius winced. You nodded painfully, looking back down at your shoes. The silent tension was so thick you felt it suffocating you. James was the first to do anything, wordlessly striding over to pull you into a bone-crushing hug. You stumbled from the shock, easing into him accidentally, but you made no moves to tense away. You limply wrapped your arms around his waist. 

“I’m so sorry, angel.” He said, panicked. “I was so stupid, I- I never should’ve said it I don’t know what I was even thinking.” He pulled you tighter to him, enough that you were worried of your feet leaving the ground. 

“I’m sorry too.” Sirius said, much more morosely than usual. “Never should’ve said those things, and you never should've heard it either.” 

“We’re all sorry.” Remus said firmly. “We all know better, we should’ve known not to think that way. It’s awfully closed-minded. You’re our friend, we should’ve acted like it.” 

“It’s okay.” You squeezed out. 

“No.” Sirius said sharply. “It’s not okay. I don’t know if you heard what Lily said back, but she pointed out a lot of things, and I can promise that we don’t think that way anymore.” 

“Please, please forgive us, baby. We were so wrong. You’re so kind and smart and funny and gorgeous an-” James was rambling on and on. 

“Jamie, it’s okay. I know you’re sorry.” You giggled at his panicked tone. “Can you uh- you’re kinda crushing me.” 

“Shit! Sorry.” He released you quickly, but not before slicking your hair out of your face. You just laughed, feeling ten times lighter. 

“We’re okay.” You reassured. “I forgive you all, it hurt, but it seems like you are all beating yourselves up enough.”

“Jus’ feel bad.” Remus grabbed you unexpectedly, tugging you into his arms. He wasn’t squeezing you like James, but rather greedily absorbing your touch. This felt like a big deal, you almost never saw Remus hold anyone. 

“Don’t feel bad.” You pleaded. “Everything’s fine now.” You rubbed his back in a way you hoped was soothing. You felt him relax in your arms. 

“Okay stop hogging them.” Sirius tugged Remus out of the way, making him grunt in dissatisfaction. (You pretended to not notice the sneaky kiss Sirius pressed to the taller boy’s knuckles.) “It’s my turn.” He grabbed you with loving aggression. 

“I wasn’t hogging.” Remus quipped. 

“Yeah, you were.” Sirius sassed. “Besides, I was the biggest idiot. I need to give the biggest cwtch.” His reasoning was flawed, but you settled into him nonetheless. 

[kalki-tarot]

THINGS YOU CARRIED FROM YOUR PREVIOUS LIVES ⚖️

Please read : This is just a general reading and may not be 100% true all the times. Please use your brain before making any decisions. Kalki tarot is not responsible for your actions and life decisions.

PICK ONLY ONE PICTURE AND ALLOW ME TO TAP INTO YOUR ENERGY.

Pile 01

I can see you lived by a river, it seems to be the country side. Green grass and shallow wind is what I feel where you belonged. Your sense of belonging in nature comes from this lifetime. You felt comfortable laying over the grass and just looking at the clouds. You were an innocent human being. Your heart held deep sense of purity for everyone and everything. You belonged to a foreign country, different from where you are right now.

I'm getting one more lifetime for you, where you wanted to be a saint or a nun or something like that. You wanted to attain moksha so you decided to take necessary actions but your responsibilities held you down. You could not leave your family or responsibilities i guess.

Your were an emotionally intelligent human being. It can be your gift in your current lifetime to be knowledgeable about spirituality and mysticism. You were born with healing abilities and you may also be a psychic.

Another gift you carried in this lifetime is of alchemy. You may be interested into witchcraft and rituals. Try to practice it more, it will really work well for you. Don't use it for bad things though. You have the power to create and manipulate energies. Your soul possesses infinite knowledge about spiritual. Unlock your hidden potential for its best use.

One more thing I'm seeing is that you carried a lot of burdens too from your previous life. Some traumas or fears, it can be anything. This is the reason why your psychic gifts were blurred or you were just not able to believe in your self, you have wounds from past life too. Healing is needed.

Pile 02

Dear Pile 2, you were someone very helpful and empathetic in your previous life. You were a gentle human being, you may have active water placements in your chart which influence you the most. You were and still are someone very deep and emotional. You understand people around you but sometimes you feel misunderstood. You feel different from everybody else. Yes you are different and it's not bad to be different. You are indeed a very special human being.

In your previous life too, you were a nice person and you did many humanitarian works. All the good karma you did is coming back to you in this lifetime. Please don't let your pure soul get corrupted or influenced by negative people. You often struggle with patience, you get anxious and restless when things don't go as you planned or when you don't see results when you want it. This is what you carried in this lifetime too. Work on having patience. You will definitely reap the fruits of your labour, but before accepting divine timing only!

Again with the fool card, your energy is very restless and childlike. You have the curiosity of a child and you crave adventurous things in life. You can't sit at one place for a long time. But this over restlessness may make you do foolish things. You should try to shift your energy from wasting it on useless things to creating something with your creative mind. You are someone who can build a castle in the sky. What i mean is you have the potential to start from scratch and turn it into something big. Use your energy here rather than doing foolish things.

You were like a wise sufi saint in your past life and you've also carried a lot of wisdom from there. Sometimes you go like where am i even getting these wise thoughts from lol. Yes! You are a street smart person. Use your potential to create something big.

Pile 03

You were someone who used to run behind success. You had or still have a fear of failing and that comes from your past life. You were in a high position in your previous life and you constantly used to work hard for keeping up or maintaining what you had.

You lacked the need to rest. And due to this you became a little too much workaholic. You were too much indulged in your work life that you kind of forget your presonal life and relationships. You will be forced to address the fear of failure in this lifetime too.

And the karma for not addressing your personal relationships is that you will not have any genuine connections in this lifetime. But don't worry, once you accept balance in your life and address your mistakes, things will start aligning for you.

Have a balanced approach and towards work and personal life. Don't be too rational, listen to your head anf heart both. And try not to force yourself to work hard. You will not fail! Don't worry.

[worstgenerationloser]

Hello! Can you please do a Zoro NSFW alphabet???

Warning: NSFW below cut (obviously)

Zoro's NSFW alphabet.

◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦

A= Aftercare (What are they like after sex?)

Zoro is attentive, paying attention to the way his partner breathes, making sure he didn't harm them in any way, and checking to see if he did good during the act.

B= Body part (Their favorite body part?)

His favorite body part on you/his partners, is most definitely the hands, he definitely likes the contrast between his tough, calloused hands and the feeling of their hands. (Even if his partner has calloused hands, he still admires them.) And his second favorite would probably be his partners ass, size doesn't matter.

C= Cum (Anything to do with cum.)

Let him cum on your face and he will do anything you want. He also likes it when your hands are basically drowning in his cum while you jerk him off, the noises and the fact your hands are slipping and sliding almost clumsily on his dick does something to him... He's nasty, he respects if you have sensory issues, though.

D= Dirty secret (A dirty secret of theirs.)

He likes having sex in open places, basically he's a sucker for risktaking, although he would be opposed to actually engaging in intercourse infront of people with them watching and all, maybe if somebody can hear, but never if they can see.

E= Experience (How experienced are they?)

You would think with the way he talks big, how confident he is (especially in his skills) that he would have had plenty of partners in bed. Wrong, he's a mega virgin... Sorry! The most knowledge he has is from overheard conversations on different islands.

F= Favorite position (Favorite sex position.)

Zoro likes prone bone, and reverse cowgirl, really he just likes to look at you/his partners ass, but he pretty much likes any position where he can just press himself against you.

G= Goofy (Are they more serious or are they more humorous during?)

Zoro is serious, the most goofy thing you're gonna get out of him is maybe when he sneezes during sex and snickers at himself... Although he won't mind if his partners goof off, but he thinks sex is supposed to be intimate and not funny.

H= Hair (How well groomed are they?)

Zoro doesn't care much how he looks down there, so maybe at most he's gonna trim his pubes, he thinks it's disturbing when he's just bald down there.

I= Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantically?)

He isn't experienced romantically, really, but he will try his best for you. He likes to set the mood, maybe gives you a body massage and kisses your skin gently, murmurs some sweet words, etc..

J= Jack off (Masturbation headcanons.)

Zoro doesn't jack off frequently, considering how hectic living as a pirate can be sometimes, and he has more important goals in life, like becoming the greatest swordsman... But, maybe once or twice a month if he's feeling pent up he'll relieve himself in a dark, quiet place.

K= Kink (One or more of their kinks.)

Honestly, he has a thing for spanking, whether he's getting spanked, or he's spanking you, he thinks it's one of his favorite things. Shibari/Bondage is also another, something about being adorned or adorning you in rope makes him smirk, especially when movements are restricted. Also likes edging.

L= Location (Favorite places to have sex.)

He does enjoy sex in open places, so maybe on the deck of the sunny when everybody's gone (and he's left behind for obvious reasons) or, whenever you're on a new island, and there just so happens to be a nice open field people don't venture off to, trust he will be dragging you away.

M= Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going?)

Any even remotely lewd sounding noise escaping from his partners lips makes him blush, even more so when it's infront of people. Placing his hand or hands around your neck, not pressing or squeezing, just letting them sit there turns him on. Speaking of hands, casual groping makes him feel giddy, like whenever he gets a chance to slap your ass, or you playfully smack his, he will find a way to jump you ASAP.

N= No (Turn offs and things they won't do.)

If you think that even for a second Zoro would engage in extreme violence and basically beat you, you're wrong, he hates the thought of laying hands on those he loves. He wouldn't be sharing you, especially not with Sanji, if you even mention Sanji's name during, he would be gone within the blink of an eye.

O= Oral (Preferences, skill.)

Between eating pussy and sucking dick, he's clueless, so you have to tell him what you like. As previously mentioned, Zoro isn't one for hookups or casual dates, so you would be his first pretty much everything. Zoro loves receiving head, likes to sit back and watch you work your magic, it relaxes him and riles him up at the same time, definitely is more of a receiver.

P= Pace (Are they fast, slow, rough, or gentle?)

Zoro, during your first time, opts to be slow and gentle. After you two adjust to eachothers bodies, when he tops you, he likes to start off slow and then pound into you mercilessly, so rough it feels like he would tear you apart with a few more minutes, but if you ask him to slow down or be more gentle he will gladly do so.

Q= Quickies (Opinions on quickies.)

You gotta do what you gotta do, he likes the thrill of them, one moment you're fucking like animals, the next you'll be breathing heavily and sitting down for dinner, everybody hopefully unaware. That being said, he does like to take his time more than he likes to engage in quickies.

R= Risk (Are they game to experiment?)

Zoro is a risktaker, naturally, so he's willing to try something as long as it doesn't cross his boundaries, the thrill really gets his blood pumping.

S= Stamina (How many rounds can they last for, how long do they last?)

Zoro normally opts for two or three rounds at the very most, he can last maybe 10 minutes if he pushes himself, but, if you're calling the shots, he'll do whatever you ask, whether it be fucking like rabbits for an hour or two, or edging himself for as long as he can before he loses his mind.

T= Toy (Do they own toys or use them?)

He doesn't own any toys, nor does he use them, but he might be open to a cock ring or a vibrator, it just depends.

U= Unfair (How much do they tease?)

He has a big mouth, so best believe he teases you alot. The second you're comfortable with eachother, he's gonna be riling you up by grabbing your ass, kissing behind your ears and then, as soon as he starts, he's gonna be sitting down and sipping his sake again.

V= Volume (How loud are they, what sounds do they make?)

It's pretty much canon that he's a grunter at this point. Zoro isn't very loud during soft, slow, and sensual sex, maybe he's gonna let out a soft and breathy moan when he slips inside of you, but other than that it's grunts and heavy breathing in your ear. On the other hand, if you're gonna be tangled in his limbs for far longer, he's gonna be moaning and your crewmates may or may not hear you two the whole time. Zoro also likes to whisper I love you's in your ear when he's gentler.

W= Wild card (A random NSFW headcanon.)

After trying it for the first time, he most definitely has fallen in love with cockwarming. Later down the line in your relationship, when you're older and even more in love with eachother, he's gonna be begging you to slip it inside almost every day while kissing your neck, although you two may or may not have been caught , unknown to your crewmates, since your clothes covered where you two were connected, they would simply think you're sat in his lap, or he's sat in yours.

X= X-Ray (What's inside their pants?)

Oh god his cock is so thick it's insane. I'd say he's around 5.7 inches soft, 6 inches hard, not sure how girthy, but trust me when I say it's so big you'll always be choking, or wincing when it's inside of your holes.

Y= Yearning (Sex drive.)

He's not the horniest guy around, but it's not like he's constantly chaste with you, it depends on his mood, whether he's stressed, happy, or sad, those can all play into whether or not he wants sex.

Z= Zzz (How quickly do they fall asleep after sex?)

Gives you a little aftercare while halfway asleep, then, immediately afterwards, if you two didn't have a quickie or anything of that sort, he will be piling ontop of you and snoring so loud it will disturb anybody or anything around. If you two can't go to bed after a little fun, he's gonna be halfway asleep and looking for an opportunity to nap.

END.

[crowntism]

Dates with the bishops

I made this blog just so I could be gay in public lets GOOOO

Includes: Leshy, Heket, Kallamar, Shamura, and Narinder.

Leshy

Bishop form:

Dates with Bishop Leshy come in two flavors. Bad day dates and Good day dates.

Bad day dates often include terrorizing and causing absolute havoc across his domain, as there are two things that can make any day better for him. Spending time with you and terrorizing the people who live in Darkwood.

Sometimes he'll ask you how you want a village terrorized or how you'd like a certain follower killed. He understands if its not really your thing, but thought he'd ask anyways.

By the end of a bad day date he's exhausted and ready to curl up with you and "sleep". Bishops, being gods, don't need to sleep but regardless he loves curling up in a nest of moss and leaves and gently petting your head while you sleep. It rejuvenates him in a way nothing else can.

Good day dates on the other hand are much more chill. He takes you around Darkwood to see the beauty of the forest. He shows you every hidden nook and cranny of his territory and even shows you the hidden garden he has.

Its deep within the heart of the woods, so none ever tread in there, not even his own siblings. Its truly his home away from home. Its a field covered in a variety of flowers, some not even found normally in Darkwood, and its one of the most beautiful sights you've ever seen.

Most of your time spent there is Leshy curled around you while you try to weave a flower crown big enough for him. You can never get it long enough but its the thought that counts.

Follower form:

Dates are far less chaotic now, as he's fully lost his ability to see and it scares him a little. Most dates are led by you now as a result.

He still loves causing chaos, so some dates are spent pranking others until you (or the Lamb) put a stop to it.

Other dates are spent with you taking him slightly further from camp to go look for interesting rocks. While Leshy can't see the rocks, the texture and shapes are still appealing. You also try to find interesting flowers that smell nice.

Leshy often keeps the interesting things you find in his shelter, hoarding them for when he has his off days.

Speaking of off days, dates on those days consist entirely of staying in. Huddling up in his shelter so he can run his hands across you, mapping out your face and body shape in his mind so he never forgets you. If you were already dating while he was a bishop, he knows what you look like through the crowns eye, and his biggest fear is forgetting that knowledge. So it never hurts to remind himself.

Heket

Bishop form:

Dates with Heket often involve food. One of her favorites is to go to every village in her domain and demand they feed the two of you. If they refuse to feed you, she'll cast the worst famine they've seen before leaving them to slowly starve to death. If they feed you and you don't like the food, she'll slaughter the main cook. However, if they make a food you genuinely enjoy, their crops will be blessed. Villages that are closer together often collaborate to try and make the best dishes possible to ensure not only survival, but her blessings as well.

Dates that don't involve food are rarer but consist of her taking you out to safely see Anura's beauty. All bishops are proud of their domains, and her pride is the bountiful crops. Although Anura is known for its pumpkins, it also has an abundance of apples. Orchards are everywhere and she loves taking you to her favorites to show them off.

Apple picking dates are her way of getting you out of her temple and doing... something. She is very protective of you and doesn't let you out of her sight regardless, but at least now you don't have several cult members and servants doing literally everything for you! She also adores picking you up and holding you so you can reach apples higher up on the tree.

Follower form:

Dates with food are now rarer, as she doesn't have the abilities of the crown to dull the pain her throat is in. Most dates are spent on the outskirts of the camp just basking in silence.

When a date does involve food, it mainly involves the preparation. Harvesting, gathering, hunting, even just cooking the food. Her relationship with food is odd now, as with the yellow crown she was in a constant state of hunger and being uncomfortably full is an awful feeling, so she doesn't typically eat with you. She loves watching you eat what she makes though and loves knowing that even though she had caused famines in the past you'd never go hungry with her.

On her off days she doesn't even want to be around food, and with the cooks almost always working to feed the many mouths of the cult its best to take her further away. You take her back out to Anura, sticking close to trails already traveled, just to get her away and relaxed.

Kallamar

Bishop form:

Bishop Kallamar has many partners, so dates are actually very sparse. He wants all of his consorts to feel loved and cherished so he has a very strict schedule.

He often changes up dates depending on if he believes one of his consorts has been neglected. If he feels he hasn't been giving you enough attention he takes you around to different storefronts, encouraging you to get whatever you'd like. Sugar daddy behavior in that he'd buy you countless of the most expensive items for whatever hobby you choose. You're a painter? The finest paints and the best canvas for you. Seamstress? Only the richest and most vibrant of fabrics for you.

On normal dates he'd take you to a theater. He's big on theater and had quite a few built in his domain. Most of the plays are about him and his accomplishments but he does allow a few others. Most of them are sappy love stories as the guy is a bit of a romantic.

Group dates are also a must! Most group dates are held within the temple and involve dinner or his consorts favorite plays. He will literally start kidnapping people if you wish to see a play.

If you desire something lower key than a play that's fine too! Anchordeep is a beautiful place filled with wonder and he'd be more than happy to guide you through his favorite places.

Follower form:

Kallamar is kind of agoraphobic. He's no longer as powerful as he used to be and is actually very susceptible to disease and illness. Most dates you two will have are spent entirely inside.

He no longer has his other consorts (most of them either abandoned him or believed him to be dead) so dates are far more frequent. He genuinely hates being alone, so you pretty much live with him now.

Creative dates are a must have, whether the two of you are drawing or crafting or painting, he likes to keep his hands and tentacles busy with things of beauty.

If you're comfortable with it you often become the model for him. He's so happy when you agree and hes even happier when he manages to capture your beauty.

The walls are filled with images of you two together.

If you manage to get him out of his shelter then one of his favorite things to do is spend time in the river. He misses Anchordeep and the water, so taking him swimming is a must.

On his bad days its best to just spend time in bed. Nothing he creates turns out right and the outside world is terrifying. Just curl up with him and whisper sweet nothings to him, that's all he asks of you.

Shamura

Bishop form:

Shamura is, unfortunately, very forgetful nowadays. It's best to write down when your dates are and put them in noticeable spots for them to see.

Dates with them are often spent in their personal library, the two of you cuddled up in a silk hammock reading quietly. Whenever you request something they send a cultist or a servant to get whatever you wish just so you don't have to leave the comfort.

Other times dates are spent watching fight pits. Shamura allows you to decide if the loser lives or dies. Their fates are entirely within your hands.

Dates around Silk Cradle are rarer for Shamura, as they are forgetful and don't want to accidentally abandon you to the dangers outside. When they do take you out, its often with an accompaniment. Their most trusted followers who, should Shamura have an episode and leave abruptly, can guide you back to the temple safely.

Follower form:

Just like with bishop Shamura, you need to remind them of dates. Unlike with bishop Shamura, however, they don't have as many responsibilities. Meaning that the notes they have to sort through are fewer and they have a better chance at noticing and remembering.

Dates are kept close to the camp, the risk of Shamura having an episode and wandering off are too great, so it's best to stick around a place where they have reminders of their new life. You manage to get a library built in camp for them though, so most dates are spent the same way as with the bishop form.

On bad days, you don't really have dates. Bad days involve massive amounts of panic, they barely remember who you are or where they are, so the day is spent calming them down and going through some exercises to help them.

They always feel immense guilt over these days, so the dates afterwards are spent showering them in affection and attention.

Narinder

(No bishop form because my man was locked away for like. 1000+ years who knows what changed in the world since he was locked away. Instead imagine constantly dying just so the devil can go "heyyyyy lets go on a date in hell" but hell is an empty foggy void and his two kids are staring at you autisticly.)

Follower form:

Dates with Narinder often involve exploring. He was locked away for so long and finally gets a second chance and he's going to take advantage of it.

He refuses to hold your hand until you're further away from people, and then he latches on and refuses to let go. He's already dealt with so much loss in life, he's not willing to lose his partner even if its just a walk through the Lambs territory.

Loves exploring destroyed villages with you, though he denies it as soon as your back is turned he's burying the skeletal remains of villagers to give them a proper farewell from the world. He may not be the god of death any longer, but the will remains.

Pays his respects to every grave he sees, at least until you turn around and look at him and he's suddenly 4 feet from the grave terrorizing a small bug.

He HATES pda, but alone in the woods with you he'll start to get affectionate. Secretly loves holding your hand and pressing kisses to your face. Nuzzling is a must for this cat as well.

The rare few times you've had a date closer to camp it's spent sun bathing. Just laying on the grass being warmed by the firey star.

The date is over as soon as somebody else notices you two and he's sprinting away.