#most of my posts barely even get 10 notes

[just-another-miserable-prick]

Good morning/afternoon/evening everyone. This isn't the type of post I would normally make but please bear with me.

TL;DR: If you're thinking about sending me an ask to help get your fundraiser out there, please don't. I literally can not help you, I'm sorry.

The world's kinda really shit right now, I get it. We're all suffering and miserable. But if you're thinking about sending me an ask, asking for financial support, I'd like you to know that I don't have neither the reach nor the funds to help you. I wish I could help, I really do.

This is a small, dumb blog I made on a whim when I was a troubled 16-year-old. I never intended for it to get anywhere or accomplish anything. It's just my silly thoughts and the sillier things I make and do and the occasional Thing that happens to me. My blog is a space for those who want a haven away from the harsh reality of this shitty world we live in. So please, for the love of all the gods out there:

Don't. Send. Me. Your fundraisers in my ask box, submissions or DMs. Please.

I'm keeping them open for now but I will consider closing them if this keeps happening. Sorry for this rather bleak post, I hope you all understand.

[foldingfittedsheets]

When I was working at the sex shop I was pulling poverty wages. I loved my job but I was on food stamps and still barely getting by. When they hired the stores first male employee and he started at my pay rate after I’d been there for three years I quit.

I was initially really nervous when I saw the post for the mattress job. It listed a pay scale that I couldn’t even conceptualize and I appeared qualified. When I got an interview I was over the moon but also petrified. Reactions to my line of work often varied but most people were very embarrassed or skeptical. I worried about how I’d address it in the actual interview.

I lived far to the north of their headquarters and drove almost two hours to get there. When I finally arrived it was in the nicest thrift store clothes I could find, but I shrank inside to see a room full of older white men in nice suits waiting to be interviewed for the same job.

Why did I bother? I was decades younger than anyone else in the room, shabbily dressed, and I suspected I was the only afab person in the entire building. I stewed in my insecurities until I was called in.

The second I met my interviewer I was instantly put at ease. The man had the energy of a therapy dog, he was abound with positive, good natured energy. He was also incredibly beautiful. I grinned back at his welcoming smile as we said our pleasantries. But still. This very beautiful polished man seemed very innocent. How would the sex shop question go?

“I see here you worked at STORE?”

“Yes,” I said hesitantly.

“And that was sales? Or you just rang people up.”

“No, it was sales. I’d help people find products, we were encouraged to upsell, there was sales spiffs, and most importantly we educated customers on products to help them find what they liked best.”

He grinned approvingly and asked, “Can you give me an example of a time you successfully upsold a customer?”

I paused, wringing my hands before I asked, “How vague would you like me to be…?”

“Not at all!” He assured me. “Go for it!”

“Well. A man came in looking for something to make his fingers vibrate so when he was touching his wife it would enhance that sensation. We had cheap $10 cockrings that I showed him first. But we had a rechargeable waterproof one made of nicer material, and after I showed him a demo he bought that one.”

“How much was that one?”

“$110”

“Wow! You had an upsell of 100% from what he came in looking for! That’s incredible!”

He was so truly genuinely stoked and not at all embarrassed that for the first time I saw a tiny glimmer of a future where I didn’t have ramen and peanut butter tiding me over between paychecks.

He asked me to wait then came back to tell me he liked me so much that he wanted to send me right into another interview, if that was okay. He didn’t want me to have to drive back later, it was terribly considerate and exciting. I beamed and told him it would be lovely.

I then had the second worst interview I’ve ever had. The worst goes to the time I applied to be a store manager for a pet food place years later. The district and store manager interviewing me passed notes and texted while I was speaking. When the district manager called to inform me I didn’t get the job I told him I’d never have accepted anyway because I’d never had such a disrespectful interview.

The new man sitting behind the desk radiated an aura of a brick wall. As someone with anxiety I’m highly keyed into the emotional states of people I’m talking to. To receive no feedback at all was my personal hell. After a perfunctory greeting he asked me with no inflection to sell him a pen.

I gathered the shreds of my courage and attempted the Herculean task he’d set me. Through my whole improvised spiel he resisted all attempts at engaging him, regarding me with a cold apathy as I touted the benefits of my fictitious pen.

Halfway through I broke into a cold sweat. My smile didn’t waver but it grew strained as I projected friendliness and warmth into the black hole of his heart. My thoughts scattered and my sales pitch grew redundant in the face of his nothingness. I finally concluded with a hard close and he simply nodded.

He glanced at my resume and commented, “You didn’t ask me to touch or hold it. Though I suppose I can understand from your previous line of work why you wouldn’t.” I shriveled and died inside knowing that I encouraged people to touch dildos all day long and had been too frazzled to offer him the pen.

He bid me a cool farewell. I made it to my car before I started sobbing. I had never been so rattled. I couldn’t understand what I’d done to make him so unfriendly or if my threadbare clothes were what had made him treat me like dirt. I drove an hour and a half to get home, weeping intermittently.

I was therefore taken by complete surprise to receive a call the next day inviting me on board for their five week training program. The first man who’d interviewed me gushed on the phone about how the second guy had loved me and that I was going to be fantastic.

I was in shock. When I showed up to training the second interviewer was charming my new classmates, beaming and laughing. He was an utterly different person. To my dismay I learned he was the trainer for my district and would be my point of contact if I made it through training.

He joked with me later that his interview facade was just a tactic to see how people held up under pressure and I filed him into a category of my deepest enmity. I never forgave him for how small he made me feel that day, but I never showed him the depths of my fury.

I aced every test and went on to be valedictorian of the eight people who had survived the rigorous training process to earn a sales position. When I got my first paycheck I bought myself new clothes, the first non-thrifted things I’d owned in years.

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

I've been messaging with a 17yo kid from Gaza, named Nader.

When I asked what he wanted people to know about his family's situation, he immediately answered "the bitter cold".

His other answer was about how incredibly expensive everything is in Gaza right now. Here's context: https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2024/10/16/how-much-does-food-cost-in-gaza

Can you imagine being in this situation? Made homeless where the stores are no longer getting consistent deliveries and might be bombed, the government is barely operating cuz it keeps getting bombed, there's not even charity getting into your besieged area, and most people's jobs—including your big brother's—have been bombed beyond repair?

Where it's getting so cold and you CAN'T get warm because you're relying on strangers to help you get that coat or blanket, or bc you need the little money that trickles in to just survive??

And can you imagine living this way for OVER A YEAR as a normal teenager who has a little brother and a baby niece with malnutrition to stress about too?

I know people are tired of hearing about Gaza. It's upsetting that this genocide has continued so long with so few powerful people even trying to stop it. But we have a responsibility to our fellow humans, to help them survive persecution.

Nader is seventeen. None of this should be on his shoulders. Please help his family be safe so he can stop feeling like it's his job to make sure his family has what they need.

This campaign was verified as authentic by gazavetters (#4 on this spreadsheet), which I have seen Palestinians I trust cite as a trusted source.

Can you give up one treat this week to help Nader's family have the basics?

If you donate at least $10 and comment on this post with proof, I'll record a silly voice message for you or draw you a post it note doodle!

Please also consider following @abdalsalam1990, the tumblr account this family is using to try to raise funds, as a reminder to yourself to share the campaign or contribute in the future.

Tagging usernames off the top of my head in hopes you'll share this fundraiser; please message me if you don't want to be tagged in things like this, or if I didn't tag you but you DO want to be tagged in posts like this.

Edit edit: thank you @transmutationisms for teaching me how tagging works 😅 i've only been on this site 10 years lmao

@wizardarchetypes @herpsandbirds @brattylikestoeat @tearsofrefugees @milf--adjacent

@vampiricvenus @mostly-funnytwittertweets @sweatermuppet @mostlysignssomeportents @probablyasocialecologist

@timequangle @repotting @robertreich @antifainternational @dlxxv-vetted-donations

[pixiesndberries]

𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐅𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃, 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍 —

a small series of Jujutsu Kaisen men as your husband !

☆ OUR STARS : Nanami Kento, Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Choso Kamo, Aoi Todo, Toji Fushiguro, and more !

━ REQUESTED BY : none

━⁠ WARNINGS : none

ෆ PIXIE'S NOTE ! : heya pookies I know it's been a while 🙏🏻 but here I am creating another series to pay off the days I wasn't posting so much —⁠ forgive me my pookies 🏃🏻‍♀️💨 we have holiday break so I'm going to grind a lot 😝

NANAMI KENTO, as your husband !

• Nanami is the perfect standard for male wife, argue with the wall —⁠ this man knows how to cook, clean his home, does his own laundry, and mostly basic life skills that most men barely know which is pretty much a big turn on.

Nanami who always supports your decision as long as it doesn't have any bad effects in your life, he respects you a lot to whatever you do in your life —⁠ he thinks that just because you are married it doesn't mean he have full possession on you, though sometimes when you asked for his opinions about your decisions in such situations he isn't shy of what he thinks.

Nanami the type of husband who will always do small and big things for you even though you can do it yourself —⁠ carrying groceries for you, helping you in the kitchen, sending you to your work, helps you clean the house, and goes to the mall with you.

; he surprisingly took the shopping bags form your hands gently "your hands will get numb, this is pretty heavy." he says with his usual tone as he looks at you softly, you can't help but to smile in his small little gestures and gosh it's making her heart melt.

"thank you, kento." you say as you gave him a big smile and pressed a kiss on his cheeks making him grin.

Nanami who is being a worrywart when you don't reply quickly when you're out with your friends late night —⁠

; kento | sent a message.

10:24 pm

kento : just got home love ❤️

kento : what time are you going home?

11:04 pm

kento : love, tell me when you're going home I'll pick you up ❤️

kento : is everything going alright?

kento : kind of worried, hope you respond soon 😅

11:07 pm

kento : please reach out to me when you can so I can pick you up ☺️

kento : I'm worried 😢

you : love I'm fine sorry, we we're drinking just a tiny bit 😭

you : you can pick me up now 🏃🏻‍♀️💨

Nanami the type of husband to use cringe emojis but you appreciate it anyways, he barely use his phone or try to use emojis —⁠ headcanon : he learned using emojis from yuji or gojo 🙏🏻 you find it silly and cute anyways.

Nanami who's phone is always filled with your photos and some sceneries with you in it —⁠ he doesn't like taking photos of himself that much though, he loves taking photos of you and look through it when he's not busy or when he misses you and he's at work.

Nanami when he learned how to use Instagram and he can't stop posting you —⁠ Gojo probably tried influencing him to use social media once and he was like no??? not until one time you took a photo of him during one of your dates and you asked him, "hey can I post this?" and of course he said yes and after that you kept posting him at some times which led him to the idea of posting you as well since he thinks you deserve it too.

; nanami.kento1990

tagged : @y/n.igcom | ❤️

itaaa.yuji and 13 others liked this post.

gojosatoru | he knows how to use Instagram 😦 ???

gojosatoru | WHO TAUGHT YOU ⁉️

itaaa.yuji | first post !!

nobaraaaa | parents 🙏🏻

Nanami who is nervous to talk about the future he wants with you — not totally nervous it's more like when you talked about kids you wanted soon with him he will always be like, "sure I also thought about that." with his usual tone but deep inside talking about it was his hyper fixation and he can't stop thinking about it.

Nanami who never in his life forget about giving you flowers in small or big occasions —⁠

; "happy mother's day." he says softly with a grin in his face as he hands you a bouquet of your favourite flowers, "kento, I'm not a mother yet." you laugh as you take the bouquet from him, admiring the flowers for a second. He never fails to make you feel happy, "maybe soon?" he chuckles then makes his way to give you a hug. "sure." you laughed and happily hugged him back tightly, exchanging I love you.

Nanami who never left by your side especially when you are not okay, he will leave his work for a day or even weeks if you really need him by your side —⁠ he will never get tired of comforting you; if you need a shoulder to cry on? He's there. He can stay all day in bed with you to make you feel better —⁠ take you out in a vacation if that's what you really need or probably do every house chores just to make you rest.

─ REBLOGS, LIKES, AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED FEEL FREE TO REQUEST!

[romypearl]

The Queen's Pawn - Regina George/Oblivious!Reader

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven

Summary: Everyone is interested and obsessed with Regina George, after all, she is the queen of the North Shore, so why does Y/N barely look at her? The new student, oblivious to her existence, intrigues and irritates the blonde at the same time. And she doesn't know how to deal with it.

Classification: Fluff

Warnings: None, for now

Word count: +1400

Unrevised

She's boring.

Very annoying.

A total waste of time.

Sometimes seems to live on Mars.

And Regina George doesn't know why she wants to get her attention so badly.

When their gazes met a few weeks earlier in the cafeteria and Y/N greeted her as if she were any other human, well, the blonde has to admit that she felt her stomach lurch into an unfamiliar sensation and all the air being knocked out of her lungs. She had never seen her in North Shore, nor in the city, and it was annoyingly difficult to discreetly find out anything about the new student, after all, she never shows interest in anyone, it's always the other way around. However, as fate would have it, she soon found out that they shared some classes. That's how she knew her name, age, that she's not from Evanston and is very close to fucking Janis 'Imi'ike, with hands intertwined as they cross the tumultuous corridors and play with each other's hair, telling inside jokes. Damn it, it's only the third week and they're joined at the hip. And she's never looked at or waved to Regina in the same way, most of the time she seems almost oblivious to her existence.

The tray seems more interesting than the latest random conversation at the table, she plays with the scattered French fries and sips the diet coke. Thoughts wander far away, full of memories and expectations too, she hasn't seen her all day, soon it will be their shared lesson and she can't stop thinking about the reasons for her absence. If something serious has happened, if she's sick or... skipping class to make out with someone, which is something almost everyone does. But with whom?

Loud laughter breaks her trance, Damian tries to hold back a laugh while Janis hugs Y/N and has a hand over her mouth, trying to stop her from laughing any louder, even though she can't stop herself. The trio are walking to their usual table, ignoring everyone around them. It annoys her to the bone, how easy it is for them to get her attention, to make her laugh. Suddenly, the newbie turns her face in their direction and she could swear she felt her heart stop beating for a millisecond only to start beating 10 times faster, watching her break away from the group and walk towards the Plastics.

"Hi, girls!" she greeted the four with a wave of a hand, ignoring their lack of response, and opened a wide smile, which surprised them with its "boldness". For a moment the blonde thought Y/N would turn and speak directly to her, try to get closer, to have her attention, but she turned to Heron and squatted down, handing over a book, dozens of post-its marking the pages "Here it is, I made some notes and the colors of the bookmarks are my reactions. Hopefully you'll like it as much as I do."

"Thanks! I'll get back to you as soon as I've finished." Cady appreciates it and returns the warm smile, however, the queen bee doesn't miss her cheeks blushing slightly at the brief interaction, making her roll her eyes in disgust "I couldn't find any other copies..."

Regina watches with a mixture of disdain and envy, Y/N should be paying attention to her and only her, not some worthless girl who has just ascended the high school social hierarchy. At the same time, her anxiety barely lets her think, she has never been so close before, she can smell the floral perfume permeating the atmosphere and see the small details of the skin she longs to touch. But there is something she longs for more than that, and that is to get her away from Cady, to make it clear that she is superior and in control.

"You know, Cady, it's admirable that you're willing to sacrifice your free time to make a library rat feel validated." she cuts in, throwing out a biting comment, a forced smile plastered on her face and blue eyes directed at Y/N "But, frankly, I think she should spend less time with books and more learning how to dress without looking like a single 40-year-old librarian."

The sharp words echo through the cafeteria, leaving an uncomfortable silence in the air and all the cliques watching the scene unfold. The girl frowns, surprised and confused by the sudden hostility, and her smile falters. She really can't understand the reason for the gratuitous verbal aggression, she hasn't done anything to deserve such treatment, not even talked to anyone other than one person there before. Her friends didn't give her the same hierarchical speech and tips that they gave Heron, because, unlike her, they didn't see any potential in the other new student to stand out in Regina's eyes and quickly knew that it wouldn't do much good considering how oblivious she is, as well as how indifferent to groups she is. A being apart from the jungle of hormonal teenagers in search of social status.

Nobody expects her to respond, in fact, they believe the opposite will happen. They expect to see a puppy running around with its tail between the legs. Regina feels the temporary taste of triumph in her mouth and waits for her to turn around.

"And you should spend less time dressing up for Coachella and more time studying history, maybe then you'll get at least a C on an elementary school exam." Y/N shrugged and turned to her new friend "Tell me what you thought of the book..."

The beginning-of-semester test that the history teacher always gives to check the students' knowledge. It's this test that she's referring to, which Regina got an embarrassing F in, although it doesn't really bother her as it doesn't count as a formal grade. In contrast to her, the youngest scored an A+ and quickly excelled in the subject.

Another time, with someone else, the blonde was going to kill with one look. This time, to everyone's shock, she throws herself back in her chair and laughs out loud, head thrown back. It's genuine. Her kitten has sharp claws and knows how to use them. She hadn't imagined that the quiet, peaceful and compassionate Y/L/N could strike back at her, with her harmless appearance and silly expressions. It's little discoveries that make everything more fun.

Regina recovers and tilts her head slightly, lips curving into a subtle smile as she stares deeply at her, challenging. She's got the newbie's attention, as she's wanted for weeks, and now that she has it, it's time to put the pieces on the table, time to play.

"Oh, I see you know how to defend yourself. Well, princess, you should know that's not how people dress for Coachella. And that I don't need to prove myself in a stupid questionnaire." then leans over so that they're centimeters apart and whispers, "Now, if I teach you, maybe you'll learn something more interesting than history..."

The bait is thrown, a flirtatious double entendre in the middle of a cold discussion.

"I don't think there's anything you can teach me that I want to learn."

Once again, she has an answer on the tip of her tongue and isn't afraid to answer the queen bee straight. Y/N smiles and says goodbye to the group, turning her back to go to her own table, she's starving and can't wait to devour the pizza bought moments before. That's more important than arguing with a stranger over lunch. All that's left for Regina to do is watch her walk away and strategize how to keep the girl at arm's length.

It wasn't the quick and blunt answers or the fearless demeanor that captivated her, nor the appearance, she doesn't consider jeans and cute knitted cardigans anything special, much less the ridiculous Star Trek t-shirts worn in PE. She desperately wants to find out what it is, maybe then she'll stop being drawn like a moth to the light. When the newbie has disappeared into the crowd, Regina turns her attention back to her own table, where her friends are sitting in silence, too stunned to comment anything. Neither was she. The idea of leaving Y/N at her feet to stroke the ego and then despise her like she does everyone else is too pleasurable.

She sighs heavily and without thinking twice takes the book from Cady's hands, staring at the title with contempt. It's a beginning.

On the other side, Janis smiles to herself and exchanges a look with Damian, both coming to a conclusion quickly. In Regina George's game, they've always wanted to be ahead and finally they have the right pawn to do it.

Note: Hi, sweeties! I'm Romy and started writing again recently, that's why I'm a little rusty. Hope you enjoyed part one and see you soon in the sequel ^^ please share what you want to read and any ideas for this short fanfic, or one shots

english isn't my first language

[jiraisupportgroup]

♡ Hair Care Tips for Hard Times ♡

Hair care is hard! Especially now that "clean girl" and similar things are super popular, everyone seems to have a 10+ step hair care routine and that is exhausting (/hyp).

Don't be afraid to have a basic routine! There is absolutely no shame in skipping extras like leave-in conditioner or oils, depending on your hair type you honestly might not even need them.

This post is mostly aimed towards bare basic "I cannot get myself into the shower but need to take care of my hair" tips for maintaining hair outside of the shower. Because of this (even though I just said skip all the extras), it does talk about leave-in conditioners, oils, etc, but mostly as an outside-of-the-shower alternative to conditioners, or as a way to freshen up in between showers.

On another note: I tried to add additional tips for textured hair because I know care can be very different. I spent a lot of time poking around Reddit for more tips, but if I worded anything incorrectly, or if you have more tips that you use, let me know! I'd love to edit or add to this with more tips you guys have!

♡ Greasy or in need of refreshing ♡

⟡ If you're feeling a bit more motivated, but not prepared to take a full shower, try washing your hair while sitting down in the shower or on the edge of the tub. Forget about leave-in conditioners, oils, etc, just do the basic shampoo -> conditioner -> done. Make it as easy for yourself as possible. If you need to use a 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner combination, do it! They aren't the best for your hair, but if it makes the process easier for you, do it. Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly, do whatever you can to make it easier for yourself to get it done.

⟡ For some people, washing your hair in the sink works well since you don't have to worry about the rest of your body getting wet, and you can leave your clothes on. I recommend putting a towel over your shoulders and using a larger sink if possible (I have most definitely washed my hair in the kitchen sink before).

⟡ If you have thicker or more textured hair, the washing process can be exhausting sometimes. Sometimes running cool or lukewarm water through your hair just to wash off your scalp, then applying a light oil or leave-in conditioner to the ends to keep them hydrated can help freshen up without taking up too much of your day.

⟡ Dry shampoo is your best friend. You can use store-bought aerosols, or sprinkle cornstarch or baby powder onto your scalp, let it sit for a few minutes, then brush out the excess or if your hair is thicker you can shake it out over a bathtub to get the extra out. With thicker or more textured hair it can help to part your hair into sections so it can get to your scalp more easily.

⟡ Wetting and running your fingers through your hair just to fluff it up or break it up can help with upkeep, especially if you don't have the energy for (or your hair doesn't do well with) brushing it out.

♡ Dry or tangling easily ♡

⟡ If your hair is really dry at the ends (sometimes dry shampoo can dry out your hair a little too well), you can use a leave-in conditioner, or a little bit of an oil like jojoba oil or coconut oil to bring some moisture back into it. I recommend getting your hair a little bit wet for this, or diluting the oil with water and spraying it on your hair for better absorption. This can also help with keeping your hair pattern better, if you have wavy hair it can lose it's bounce if it's too dry, if you have textured hair it can lose it's fluff or be hard to style if it dries out, don't be afraid to oil those ends!

⟡ Oils or conditioners can also help prevent hair from tangling as easily. Dry or damaged hair can tangle much easier than moisturized hair, so keeping it a little oily can help prevent really bad tangling.

⟡ Be careful with straighteners! Depending on your hair type straightening it can make it a bit easier to maintain, but it can dry your hair out soooo much, especially if it is already damaged. Use a low setting and try to put just a little oil in the ends to keep them from tangling.

⟡ NOTE: When I say a little oil I mean a little. Like a teeny tiny bit, the least you can get away with using. This depends on your hair type, but especially if you have thinner hair you don't want to get into a cycle where you use dry shampoo because it's greasy and then you use too much oil and it gets greasy again. This is something you'll feel out as time goes on.

♡ Hairstyles or hiding ♡

⟡ Using bonnets or wrapping your hair in an old t-shirt while you sleep can help keep it from getting too tangled, losing texture, breaking, or losing moisture. It also helps keep your hair out of your way and off of your mind for a while.

⟡ For thinner hair, consider putting it into a ponytail or braid if it is long enough to keep it all together and out of your way. Try not to tie it too tightly, and stay away from those little rubber band-type holders if you can, using a thicker hair tie will help keep your hair from getting stuck in it, and will make it easier to take it down in the future. Try to take it down and put it back up if it starts getting tangled, I usually aim for about once a day if I can but I've definitely left my hair in braids for 4 days at a time before taking it out and re-doing it.

⟡ For thicker hair or more textured hair you have a few more options. Ponytails and buns work great, or you might consider braids or twists just to keep maintenance a bit lower for a while. This can be a lengthy process so ask friends or family for help! You also don't have to do it all at one time. Depending on what style you're doing you may be able to pull it up and wrap it with a scarf when you go out, or if you're braiding it sometimes you can wrap the braids you have done around the unbraided part to make a little braid bun situation.

⟡ If you're not feeling up to putting it up like that, or you want to just wrap it up and not think about it, things like headbands, scarves, beanies, hats, etc are great options. When I shaved my head I would wear beanies 24/7 and I didn't worry about hair maintenance until it was about shoulder length again because I just didn't know what to do with it T_T. But! No one even knew that I didn't brush it for like 6 months (I also was very grunge at the time so it fit the theme).

♡ Tackling matted hair ♡

⟡ If your hair is badly tangled but not quite matted, use a detangling spray, let it sit for a few minutes, then go in with a wide tooth comb first to break up the hair, then a thinner brush (like a wet brush) to continue brushing. Start from the ends and work up, hold the hair above where you’re brushing to avoid pulling on your scalp, and apply more spray as needed. Do this in a comfortable place like the couch or your bed, and have something to entertain yourself during this process like a movie or music or YouTube video, whatever you can do to make this process as bearable and comfortable as possible.

⟡ If your hair is matted (thick hard chunks of hair) it’s a bit more of a process. Do not panic, do not beat yourself up, it happens, it’s okay. It’s honestly more common than you would think, especially in people with depression or fatigue. Start with wetting the hair, do not try to use shampoo or wash it, just get it wet, then slather it with either a deep conditioning conditioner or a hair mask mixed with an oil like jojoba oil or coconut oil (or mineral oil surprisingly enough; works well for detangling but it can be kind of hard to get out of the hair afterward), and a little bit of apple cider vinegar. Let it sit for about 30 minutes, you want to give your hair time to soak up all the moisture it can. Take your hands and break apart the larger chunks into sections, if this causes tearing or hurts, leave that section alone and move on to another section or brushing. Take a hard brush (like a wet brush or a tangle teezer - really just don’t use a bristle brush) and start from the bottom. It can be hard to tell where the bottom of a mat is, just start from whatever part of it is furthest away from your scalp. During this process a lot of hair will come out, most of this is hair that has already fallen out and is trapped inside of the mat, don’t worry, you’re not balding or ripping your hair out. Apply more oils as needed, break the larger chunks into smaller ones when you can, and have patience! This is a lengthy and frustrating process, it might even feel like you’re not getting anywhere at times but I promise with time you will get there. You don’t have to do this all in one session either. If you can break it into smaller mats, just focus on one of the chunks at a time & go from there. If you can, ask for help! Friends or family, anyone who is willing to hang out and watch movies and brush your hair for a while, it is so much easier with just a little help. You might be surprised at who is willing to help you out (like one of my coworkers recently came over to help me clean my apartment and I really didn't expect her to, it was super nice! No shame in asking, the worst that will happen is they'll say no or they're busy, don't sweat it!)

Thank you for reading ~

Hopefully, some of these tips can help out! Don't forget that you're not alone! I sit writing this with hair that hasn't been properly washed in about 2 weeks so fear not! You're not gross or lazy or anything like that, sometimes it's just hard!

If you have any additional tips or edits feel free to message me or pop them in the comments below!

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[bunnypotions]

[update, im going to be inactive for a while. please keep reblogging this.]

[update 2: please keep in mind i dont have a stable income right now, most of the money i have is things ive barely saved up, and a lot of the time, the most i can do is share posts. i promise i will try my best, but i apologise that i cant do more.]

Pinned Post: Please Reblog And Help Spread These Fundraisers!

hey! its morgan. i need a little help.

as you know ive been posting a lot of gofundmes but not many of them are getting more reblogs, and upon discussing my frustration in a discord server, i was given the advice to condense them into one post that i can pin and spread. this does sound like the more practical option. i'll try and bring attention to as many people as i possibly can. ill keep adding to this!

please also check the vetted gofundme list! like i said, ill try my best to bring attention to everyone, but im also only one person, and i absolutely recommend you check out other posts too.

I also have my palestine tag, if you want to go through that, there are a lot more posts in there. im including everyone who has recently sent me messages, so if you arent here but youve messaged me, please do so again and ill add you. I refuse to give up on anyone, and even when I can't donate, I will do my utmost to help in other ways.

ONCE AGAIN, AS SOMEONE WITH UNDER 200 FOLLOWERS (MOST OF WHICH ARE PALESTINIAN FOLKS WHO HAVE REACHED OUT TO ME NOW) I RELY ON REBLOGS TO SPREAD THE WORD!! PLEASE DONT IGNORE THIS, SHARE AND DONATE IF YOU CAN!!!

Mohammed Eid Matar @mohammedmatat [PREVIOUSLY BOOSTED BY GAZA-EVACUATION-FUNDS] Low on notes, €1,015 raised of €15,000 target.

2. Firas Al-Mansi (@mazenmanal) (Verified by apollos-olives) €3,740 raised of €100,000 target

3. Fahed Shehab @fahedshehab-new (and his daughter, Sahar) (vetted by Schoolhater) €48,535 raised of €85,000 target

4. Adham Ayyad @lawyer-adhamayyad81 (Unvetted, but I trust it, and reverse image search shows nothing) €35 raised of €50,000 target

5. Yahya Alhabil @khalilahmad220 (Verif by 90 Ghost) €170 raised of €50,000 target

6. Mohammed Shehab @mohammed--shehab (On this list of vetted gfms as well) €8,974 raised of €25,000 target

7. Mohamed Ibrahim @mohmad77 (Vetted by koifishieee) €1,365 raised of €80,000 target

8. Sohad Mahmoud @kareem-family2 (vetted by 90 ghost) €5,468 raised of €15,000

9. Rehab Shamia @rehabsh98 (vetted by queerstudiesnatural AND CLOSE TO THE GOAL!) $35,036 USD raised of $40,000 target

10. Bilal Abed Rabou @bilalassadabedrou (vetted by 90 Ghost) €8,542 raised of €80,000 target

11. Mohammed Al-Tarabin @tarbeen-family-2 (unvetted) €416 raised of €25,000

12. Noura Ayman @nourasissue (unvetted, but a lot of images and videos to back it up) €20 raised of €50,000 target

13. Malak Aref Akeela @savemalakfuture (unvetted, only one note) kr20,000 SEK goal

14. Ahmed Al-Habil @ahmedomer9 (vetted by association) €2,412 raised of €50,000 goal

15. Ehab Ayyad @ehabayyad23 (unvetted but seems legit) €2,478 raised of €50,000 goal

16. Abood Alkhaldi @aboodomar (unvetted, no notes, no donations)

17. Ahmed Mohammed @a-ss-123 (vetted by association) £852 raised of £55,000 target

18. Lama Al-Hourani @lamahourani7 (vetted by association) $1,789USD raised of $10,000 target

19. Ayaa Mahmoud @ayoosh-gaza (vetted by association) $4,688USD raised of $20,000 goal

20. Ameer Mohammed @mohmedsalama (unvetted, low note count) kr16,798SEK raised of kr200,000 goal

21. Safaa Al Khatib @safaakhatib (vetted via spreadsheet) €23,979 raised of €35,000 target

22. Musab @abdmusab (vetted by 90 Ghost) £5,945 raised of £8,000 target

23. Abdullah @abdala1 (vetted) $3,550AUD raised of $75,000 target

24. Heba @hebamatar (unvetted) $35CAD raised of $30,000 target

25. Noor Ayman @nourhabil3 (vetted, previously suspended by GFM and had to start afresh) €503 raised of €60,000 target

26. Mounes Al-Kafarna @mones1998gaza (unvetted) $466USD raised of $20,000 target

27. Muhammad Atalla @mohammedatallah (vetted by 90 Ghost) €15,350 raised of €82,000 target

28. Kareem @kareeem-sd Unvetted but seems legit. €2,161 raised of €50,000 goal

29. Safaa Abed @safaabed8 vetted by association, €31,316 raised of €90,000 goal

30. Muhammad @zakariafamily Unvetted, low on notes and donations, €170 raised of €20,000 goal

31. Rana @ranaarafat-blog (unvetted) (LOW NOTE COUNT) €33,868 raised of €48,000 goal

32. Amal @amalashuor (vetted) €34,285 raised of €50,000 goal

33. Amal @familygazaamal (unvetted, but passes reverse image search and several others including myself trust) $522USD raised of $30,000 goal

34. Ola @olagaza (vetted) $47,384USD raised of $50,000 goal

35. Mervat @mervatahmed1 (vetted) €5,939 raised of €50K goal

36. Hani @hanifamilys-blog (Vetted) €3,516 raised of 25K goal.

[giamee]

𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐓 𝐂𝐇𝐔!

୨♡୧ pairings :: yanqing x reader ; jing yuan x reader ; gepard x reader ; sampo x reader

୨♡୧ contains :: established relationship, some slight babygirlification maybe? idk im just saying words at this point, blatant favouritism

୨♡୧ gia's notes :: finally posting requests thank u for the patience sorry that this took so long for something so short 😖😖 i kept it pg because i didn't want to make any requesters uncomfortable BUT if anyone wants an nsfw version of this just say the word 🫡

୨♡୧ requests :: anon -> hihi!! may i req general relationship hcs of yan qing and/or jing yuan?? <3 also yr blog theme is so cuteSHSHDHHDHDDH take yr time in writing the req and have a lovely day ahead :> // anon -> HII!!! i saw that you're opening requests!! can i request gepard and sampo as boyfriends plss??? tysm!! 💖

𓆩♡𓆪 YANQING

-the sweetest omg :((

-definitely the most attentive bf ever

-you need something? he’s already out the door on his way to the store to get it

-you can’t reach something? yanqing is rushing to your side, plucking the item off the top shelf and handing it to you, with a sweet kiss pressed to your cheek for extra measure

-you notice your shoelace is untied but your hands are full? yanqing is kneeling down in front of you and making the perfect knot that wont undo, and then he’s taking what you’re holding off of you so that you can walk with your hands free

-i feel like he would really enjoy the outdoors

-like a date with him would include walking around the xianzhou luofu and admiring the scenery before stopping to eat something in a park

-idk if the xianzhou luofu has parks but idc roll with it

-and he is such a ray of sunshine too!!

-always smiling and sunny

-even the weather seems to brighten when he’s around

-when you’re having a bad day and have to cancel on a date with him, he’s so understanding, asking if you want him to come over to yours instead with food and some movies to watch

-and when you hear him knocking on your door and his sweet smile on the other side with not a hint of annoyance at your last minute cancellation, your worries melt at his gesture and when his scent engulfs you as he wraps you in a warm hug

-hmmm he would definitely gossip with you

-IMAGINE HIM LAYING WITH HIS HEAD IN YOUR LAP WITH HIS HAIR DOWN AND UR COMBING THROUGH IT WITH YOUR FINGERS WHILE HE TELLS U ABOUT ANY DRAMA THAT HE'S HEARD EEE

-carries two hairbands on his wrist - one for himself and one for you if you ever need it

-10/10 boyfriend i love him :(

𓆩♡𓆪 JING YUAN

-my husband

-he would be such a chill bf

-obviously since he’s a general he’s quite busy so you may not be able to see each other as much as you would like to :(

-but jing yuan will always make time for you <3

-whether that means he has to, god forbid, skip out on an afternoon nap to finish paperwork, he WILL get home in time to greet you with a kiss that has you melting into him

-while he may appear reserved at times, he’s a very passionate lover (wink)

-he just likes to keep things private

-he believes that’s what makes your relationship more special

-i feel like he’s kind of got a thing for domesticity

-jing yuan holds an appreciation for the slower, quieter moments in life

-moments where time doesn’t matter, because you’re asleep in his arms and the slight gust of your breath against his bare skin is soothing him into a state of overwhelming calm that reminds him that he has absolutely nowhere to be for the foreseeable future

-(he just really likes sleeping with you)

-you definitely have to convince him to get out of bed some days

-the general of the xianzhou luofu is in your bed and whining when you try to wiggle out of his grasp, hugging you tighter despite your protests

-and he'll never admit it but the mf will POUT when you both inevitably have to get up

-and he'll be so dramatic about it too

-"i thought you loved me, why are you leaving..."

-and you shoot him a glare while you get dressed

-and then you see the way his toned back is rising and falling gently as your boyfriend just lays there and breathes, eyes fixed on you as if he were committing you to memory, and the look in his eyes draws you back to your shared bed

-because five more minutes really couldn't hurt, not when they're spent with him <33

𓆩♡𓆪 GEPARD

-this man

-dhfjjrjghehfjejcjsjcjhdfh

-as much as i want him to be the most amazing perfect boyfriend ever

-i feel like that would take some time to develop in the relationship

-he is a younger sibling after all

-and while he's sweet and receptive and always remembers the smallest details of what you mentioned to him in passing

-he can also be stubborn and a bit clueless at times

-cut the man some slack it's his first relationship and he's trying his best

-between being captain of the silvermane guards and just... life in general, the man has never really had the opportunity to let loose or explore his feelings

-you two probably meet through serval. you work in her shop and one day gepard comes in because he needs something repaired and he sees you at the counter and that's it game over he's imagining your entire life together

-and like any older sibling would serval would very quickly figure out the blatant crush that gepard has on you and then teases the living hell out of him for it

-she keeps orchestrating little scenarios that end up with you and gepard in close proximity with each other

-and even though he's mad at his sister, he has to admit that it's nice to spend time with you

-but i think the final push is one night where serval manages to convince you and gepard to tag along with her to a new bar that has opened

-personally i hc that gepard is an absolute lightweight and the man cannot hold his tongue when he isn't sober

-and once the alcohol flush reaches his face it's game over

-serval ever so conveniently slips off to buy herself another drink

-which was five minutes ago, and she's nowhere in sight

-and gepard just starts talking to fill the gap

-and then he can't stop talking and oh he's confessed and then you're smiling and telling him you've been waiting for him to make a move

-and in the span of 5 minutes gepard's gone and got himself a significant other

-and YES now for the actual relationship hcs lmao 💀

-so YEAH

-gepard is head over heels whipped crazy for you

-but he's also emotionally constipated

-probably goes rigid if you hold his hand in public

-takes a while for him to get used to physical affection

-but once he does the man is all over u

-i think he likes to play with your fingers i think

-and then kiss them each individually

-and then lace his fingers with yours and hold it close to his chest

-and then stay like that as he drifts off to sleep next to you

-sob

-he's probably kinda goofy once he comes out of his shell

-like he probably talks to inanimate objects LMAO

-and he hums and sings under his breath ofc

-so it's really cute in the early mornings when he wakes up a bit before you have to, and he's moving around getting ready while still half asleep and your eyes are still closed but you can hear him humming a song he recently heard as he brushes his teeth

-AUGH

-i need him

-and then he will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS drop back down next to you in bed before he has to go and do his guard duties

-and press the sweetest gentlest kiss to your forehead

-then your cheeks and nose and chin

-before finally your lips

-and he tells you to have a good day and that he loves you and he'll see you soon

-screaming rn i take it back he's perfect

𓆩♡𓆪 SAMPO

-DEF THE MOST FUN GUY TO DATE EVER

-super spontaneous for sure

-quick day trip to belobog with your boyfriend who's a wanted criminal ❤️

-idc if he's canonically a scammer this man will never lie to u (bc he's whipped as hell and he loves u ok)

-he uses the money from scamming ppl to buy gifts for you LMAO

-and even though the man has a silver tongue and he gets all melodramatic as part of his travelling salesman act

-when you're alone and in private his walls will come down and he'll just look at you with lovestruck eyes and tell you how beautiful or handsome you are with no games

-or just say nothing at all and bask in your presence

-i think he def needs someone who matches his energy

-like he's trying to sell someone a product and he shoots you a look and you come over and play the part of anither interested buyer to get them to buy it

-absolutely lethal duo

-and i feel like because he's so fun he would be really good with kids

-so if you ever need help babysitting a younger sibling or cousin

-he would be the #1 call for backup fr

-by the end of the night ur cousin likes HIM more than you (the audacity) and is calling him uncle sampo :((

-he would so tease you

-it's his love language <3

-but if you want to get back at him

-yk those slutty little cutouts he has in his shirt at the hip?

-yeah just tickle him there and he will fold immediately

-he probably has like this rlly ridiculous laugh that only cones out then or something

-and you're probably the only person who's ever heard it

-hmmm what else

-sampo probably has a bit of a possessive streak too

-tries to maintain his cool facade but someone else tries to flirt with you?

-his eye is twitching and he's by your side immediately, hand around your waist and a cold glare directed at whoever was dumb enough to try

-mans probably spoils you rotten LMAO

-would definitely pick a pretty flower every time he sees one to bring back and give to you

-you have a collection of pressed flowers from him at this point

-10/10 amazing boyfie <3

୨♡୧ honkai star rail masterlist

[b0r3dtod3ath]

"Cause I <3 you, you’re the one that I adore :)"

Formula 1 masterlist

Word count: 1.4k

Summary: Assistant!reader x rdr!seb. Based on this request. Set during the 2012 season.

A/N: I know a few people wanted me to write this trope so here it is :) Also this fic is loosely inspired by BBM baby by Lana Del Rey.

“Yea, I still don’t understand why I need an assistant” Well this sentence certainly didn’t calm your anxiety as you were sitting on a chair, staring at the door. You were supposed to meet your boss, well not really a boss but a person you were supposed to help. He wasn’t just a random person, he was Sebastian Vettel, two-time world champion in Formula 1. You were a fan of this sport so when an opportunity for you to work in that field appeared, you took it without thinking twice. Maybe you weren’t one of the most important employees on the paddock nonetheless you still got to travel the world and be a part of every race week. “Sebastian, you were late for the last three meetings. I can’t be looking after you all the time.” a female voice said. You recognized it - it was Sebastian’s press officer. She was a lovely lady. You got to meet her because she was the one recruiting you. “So you are really getting me a babysitter?” huffed the driver. The door in front of you opened causing you to jump from your seat and put on a smile. “Hi! Nice to see you again! Come on in!” said the lady. As you walked in a tall, blonde boy sat up and introduced himself “Sebastian Vettel. You can call me Seb. Nice to meet you.” The eye contact made your cheeks heat up a little “Y/N Y/L/N, pleasure working with you”. As you sat down you heard Sebastian whisper a quiet “It sure is” under his nose.

You came up with the idea of a maximum of 10-minute long meetings after breakfast during the race weekend. They were meant for you to give Seb a quick overview for the day - what is he doing at what time. You were sitting at the hotel’s restaurant, waiting for him to show up, you didn’t expect him to show up on time but he barely managed to. “Hi, sorry. I hope you didn’t wait long” he said as he sat opposite to you. “Good morning, I’m fine, you are on time actually” you greeted him with a smile, chuckling at his messy bed hair. “So today you are supposed to first meet your physiotherapist and then” you were interrupted by sniffling. Probably a morning runny nose. You grabbed your small purse and handed a tissue to the man. “Thank you” he said, surprised that you noticed. “So then you have a first practice session at 1PM and..” - you quickly went over what was planned for the day “Alright, any questions? If you really want to move some meetings then let me know and I will try to figure out something. I’m leaving this paper for you to know what’s going on and I think that’s it.” you handed him a post-it note with everything neatly written. Cute writing he thought as he looked at it "There's also my number if you need something and I happen not to be around”. Oh yea, he was definitely gonna use this one. 

After a few races, you started developing a more casual relationship - it could even be called a friendship. The chemistry never left working hours. You didn’t understand why but it bothered you. Well, you noticed some signals - butterflies in your stomach appearing when you two held eye contact for more than a second, your heart skipping a beat when you accidentally touch or the heat rising to your cheeks every time he calls you by your nickname. You were a walking symptom of having a crush and yet you denied it. “I’m working for him, of course, we have to be nice to each other! He’s like that to every female reporter, a cheeky little bastard.” or “It’s his job to treat me nice.” you used to tell your friend on a phone, whispering as if Sebastian was to hear you. Little did you know, he has in fact changed his behavior towards women once you appeared in his life, he started being less flirty and reckless but not in terms of you. He would never tell you to do anything for him because it felt weird to him. At first, you were looking after him like he was a child - checking in if he was hungry or if he needed water. He never complained about being looked after because he found it comforting. He felt like you were truly caring for him, a feeling that he hadn’t felt in years due to his lifestyle. 

You would never call him unless he was late. Sebastian was in his hotel room, sprawled out on the bed, head with messy blonde hair buried in pillows. His peaceful sleep was interrupted by the sound of his ringtone. “Huh?” his eyes still closed “Seb, you were supposed to text me when you wake up so you won’t be late again. Please tell me you got up” your voice was a sound he wished to wake up for the rest of his life “Mrrh Dreaming? An angel called me?” he said half awake completely ignoring your tone “Great, amazing even. Vettel, wake up. I’m gonna come to your room in 10 minutes and please cooperate”. Even though you were the same age you sometimes felt like you were babysitting him. Sebastian obeyed you and got dressed. He liked to annoy you a bit but he would be cautious not to cause you too much trouble. You knocked on his door not expecting him to be ready. To your surprise, you were greeted by a fully dressed Sebastian holding his toothbrush. He gestured to you to come in. You have never been to his hotel room so it a bit personal. You stood in the middle of the room not knowing what to do. Your eyes wandered around the room which looked more neat than you expected - no clothes laying around and only his phone and a half-empty water bottle on his nightstand but the bed looked like a mess and you couldn’t judge him, after all he did wake up less than ten minutes before. The bathroom door was opened so you were able to observe him brushing his teeth. It was a thing he did everyday (even more than once!) yet it felt almost intimate. “Okay, let’s go” he said with a big smile once he finished and held the door for you. You were heading for a team meeting that you were also a part of. Your role there was to take notes that were handed to the driver later. Sebastian couldn’t take his eyes off you, sitting next to him as you wrote something important that he didn’t even hear. He loved to watch you in this state where you were so focused you barely paid attention to anything else. He loved the way you would tuck your hair behind your ear or play with a pen anytime there was something not worth writing down discussed. When the meeting was over you handed him the paper, he didn’t even look at it but the thing that caught his attention was your dress. It wasn’t revealing or stereotypically sexy - little flowers on a navy background, short sleeves and knee length just suited your personality in his mind. “Nice dress” he said, catching you off guard as you were saying your goodbyes. This weekend Sebastian finished P1 getting closer and closer to his next world champion title.

Next weekend was the last weekend before the summer break. Even though you had lost your hope in terms of your emotions towards Sebastian there was a little part of you that still wished that he would make some kind of a move. It was Saturday night, you had already showered and got yourself ready to bed. You heard a notification and looked at the screen of your phone. “I’m outside your door. Wanna talk to you. XOXO, Seb :)”. He himself didn’t know why he ended the text like that. He was just nervous and high on adrenaline. The message was followed by three gentle knocks on your door. You let Sebastian in and before you could say anything he grabbed your hands and said “I, I I think I love you. For the past few months you had been my sunshine. You make me happier. I adore everything about you, every single little detail. Please make me an even happier man and let me take you out for dinner. And wear that dress you wore last week."

[carigm]

About Dyersfilm’s “leak”

For all of you who don’t know, dyersfilm is an insufferable individual who used to go by the name of swiftlynatalia. She is racist, homophobic, transphobic, and even made fun of her supposed favorite actress’ eating disorder. However, people on Twitter (especially mlvns) entertain her because she had reliable sources during the filming of S4, and after during post production. She had some true leaks, many being the same that Reddit got right, while others only she had. She was also wrong about quite a few things, but generally she was reliable.

It is worth noting though that she is extremely biased against byler (many of the leaks she got wrong for S4 were pertaining their storyline) and absolutely hates the ship.

This time around, she was getting some leaks during the first couple of months of filming to her curious cat, but she herself claimed that these were not reliable leaks whatsoever and that she was pissed because this time she doesn’t have access to the real sources she had for S4. She has complained about this repeatedly for these past few months. The leaks she has gotten tho, many she has mocked and made fun of because they don’t align with what she wants from the show. She also made a “disclaimer” when the show started filming again that she would not be posting leaks about Byler because she hates us all, and yet every single one of those most likely fake leaks she got she posted, and many of them talked about Byler. She would post them and mock them for “clearly being untrue”. She has barely gotten a single Mlvn positive leak this whole time, and when she’s gotten at least something that alludes to them having scenes together she immediately ran to post it and alert all her friends, even tho she herself knows all of these are most likely fake.

For weeks now, her curious cat has been dry af because I guess nda’s are stronger this time, or no one wants to leak shit to her (she’s rude as hell). she posted the following ask 10 days ago. Someone asked her if she knew about any Mike and El scenes and she said no. Keep this in mind for what’s coming next…

Then suddenly yesterday, she alluded to a Jonathan spoiler she’s supposedly pissed about, but refused to post it like she’s done for everything else. People quickly thought it might involve Byler because she said she wasn’t going to post “leaks” about it, even though she had already lol. So they asked her and she said that “yes, it has to do with Byler.”

Then shortly after this someone asked about Mlvn again, this was just today. Again, note how she proceeds to say she knows nothing about Mlvn 😭

Bylers on Twitter noticed her answers about Mlvn and her comment about a supposed byler leak involving Jonathan and started speculating. She ofc noticed this, and not even after an hour of her saying she knows nothing about Mlvn she goes on to say this.

….

She knows nothing but somehow she knows Mlvn is stable? The bipolar disorder of these answers could rival my own bipolar.

Mind you, we all know that she would’ve jumped up at the first opportunity to post any leak that implied Will was pining and miserable, her and her friends would’ve had a field day over it. And yet, she only clarifies this after…

Not to mention how utterly ridiculous this all is. They’ve filmed stuff up until episode 4 (from what we know), why the hell would Will be pining and hung up over Mike if Mlvn is endgame? That makes absolutely no fucking sense. They would have him immediately fully patch things up with Mike and move on, not be hung up on someone he can’t have in the middle of an apocalypse. Especially not after the Duffers said he’s getting a happy ending. Will getting a happy ending but still being in love with Mike halfway through the last season with Mlvn being endgame is absolute lunacy.

Especially when you consider the fact that narratively, in a sense, Will has already moved on. He doesn’t expect anything from Mike, he doesn’t think Mike can like him back. He saw Mike confess his love in front of El, he helped that confession happen. Will literally has no problem with Mlvn anymore pls 😭 He saved them!!

This is the most ridiculous shit I’ve ever read.

Will is somehow upset at Mike not feeling the same way…when Will already believes Mike doesn’t feel the same and doesn’t ever expect any reciprocation 😭

Either she’s wildly twisting this supposed leak out of context to fit her own perceived narrative of what should happen, or she’s straight up lying about this.

And we know she’s lying about Mlvn so…you people decide what you think of this buffoonery lol.

Wait for Reddit leaks y’all. This woman could get a legit leak saying Byler is endgame and dig her own grave before posting it.

[scudslut]

em's masterlist/guidelines

fluff - 𐙚 || smut - ♱ || angst - ✾

➳ Daryl Dixon

one-shots: sins and honey flavored sweetness 𐙚 ♱ ✾ heartsease 𐙚 ♱ a summer wasting 𐙚 midnight refreshments 𐙚 a new years surprise 𐙚 ♱ lazy mornings 𐙚 stay with me 𐙚 ✾ too sweet ♱

drabbles: taste me ♱ head w/ daryl 𐙚♱ daryl’s uncut ♱ s4 daryl 𐙚 ♱ ✾

cannock chase 𐙚

➳ Scud Frohmeyer

one-shots: take me however you want too ♱

drabbles: cockwarming w/ scud ♱ scuds a slut (canonically) ♱

➳ My Edits

normy's bday dhl burn, burn, burn new bottega

please send requests!

About Me!

em | 20 | gemini

hi everyone! this is so long awaited (i’m legit so lazy) but finally i have a masterlist/about me!

╰─▸ my names emma, i’m obviously in love w daryl dixon/norman reedus. i love to write and make edits — u guys should totally follow my tiktok account @mrsemmadixon or otherwise known as scudslut;)

i met norman jdkskajajs at the nyc comic con 2023, he signed the back of my phone case, i’ll actually die on a fucking hill. yes, he’s just as godly in person.

in my day to day life i work with animals 10 hours a day, they are my main passion aside from writing and whatnot, so if i post a photo of a really cute dog i met, that’s why lmao.

i have 2 cats right now, my baby lily i got last year and sophie who i’ve had since i was a kid. typically we rescue all our animals!

i deal with extreme anxiety and depression from a major accident that happened in my life a few years ago (so if i don’t respond or have trouble posting sometimes… that’s why and i really hope everyone understands.)

I love, love, love music. I play the piano and guitar, probably not very good but who cares. some of my all time favorite artists are.. and here we go on a rampage... deftones, cigsaftersex, wheezer, nirvana, mac, frank, lana, djo, catpower, the vines, dinosaur jr, 21 sav, labi siffre, the kills, tom odell, basement, strokes, velvet underground, kendrick, norah jones, red hot chilies, the smiths, billy idol, the cure, no vacation, mazzy star, fleetwood, empire of the sun, pinegrove, otis redding, neil young, etta james, summer walker, motley crue, guns'n'roses, foo fighters, biggie, shady, drake, nelly, jay-z, $uici$ide boys, gucci, trippie... and so much more, my music taste is actually bipolar.

on that note, i actually have a playlist for daryl + norman (music he reposts/i think he’d like) lmk if u want me so share them.

i’m canadian

my parents are both extreme alcoholics, so i suffer from a multitude of childhood traumas as well as current ones. we love it here!:) but id like to think i relate to daryl in some sense, if its the only comfort i get from it.

i could live off of pasta, watermelon and coffee alone

i spend my time either at my job, reading, writing, editing or spending time with some close friends.

and that’s pretty much me!:)

please feel free to ask me questions or request fics, i will absolutely love to do them! (as long as they follow guidelines) if your unsure, just message me to clarify! i won’t ever leave u on read, i promise!

My Guidelines:

absolutely no rape/SA/even slight connotations of it.

no incest.

hitting, slapping, or any extreme violence during play, is a no. (daryl loves to smack your ass when he hits it from the back… that’s okay… but he would. not. hit you.)

age play - i will dabble in this but nothing major where reader is barely an adult. the most i’ll do is early/mid 20’s and daryl is his canon age.

oh yes, and i will write for all norman reedus characters! if you want someone else, messsage/ask me!

gifs/dividers from @cafekitsune

© scudslut - all works are my own. please do not steal, copy, translate or modify any of my work!

[x-press-it]

The Morning You Needed

If Only You’d Known How Much He Adores You 🎞️❤️‍🔥🌹✅

Worshiping!Logan Howlett x fem reader

Summary: Struggling with executive paralysis, you’re trapped in bed, unable to shake the weight of the morning fog. Logan, noticing your absence, comes looking for you—never expecting to find you lost in a moment of self-care.

Content Warnings: Smut 18+ (Fingering) - Worshiping!Logan - Pet Names (Darling, sweetheart, princess, and more...) - Reader Notes: No Y/N, no physical description of the reader, no mention of powers - Fluff and Emotional Vulnerability: Deep feelings, mutual pining - Worship Themes: Religious imagery and reverent language - Mental Health: Executive Dysfunction - Trope: Coworkers to lovers. I'm back after 10 years of iatus and fairly new to how things are done on tumblr now, so sorry if I missed any warnings. Also english isn't my first language so there might be typos/weird sentences...

Notes: Got that idea during an Executive Paralysis and I absolutely had to write it. I also got inspired by some of @gothgoblinbabe writings. Cover made with canva from an idea I got from this post. Click on the divider to find the creator. Also first text I got to finish quickly and I'm very happy about it.

Word Count: 3.8K

You lay in bed, the world outside your door humming along, oblivious. The clock ticked past noon, each minute gnawing at your sense of urgency. You knew you should get up, throw yourself into whatever needed doing today, but you felt…stuck. It was like this most days, as if your mind held your body hostage, whispering all the reasons to stay still, to ignore the day stretching beyond the safety of your blankets.

An edge of desperation crept in as you stared at the ceiling, urging your limbs to move, but they stayed as heavy as stone. You needed a shock, something to tear through the fog in your mind. And only one thought did that lately: Logan.

Your feelings for him were complicated—a growing crush that left you wishing he could be more than just a coworker or a friend. But that’s all he was. It was foolish, maybe, but the way he’d look at you sometimes made it hard to keep your imagination in check. Just thinking his name sent a warm shiver down your spine, a fire sparking low in your belly. It felt a little shameless—okay, maybe more than a little—but you needed something. So, you let yourself go there, let the memory of his gruff, knowing smile fill your mind, his voice, that low rumble, wrapping around you.

You slid a hand down your body, passing the hem of your panties; finding your clit, fingers grazing your skin, teasing yourself with little touches, hoping for that spark to grow into something strong enough to bring you to the edge and shot something powerful enough to let you get up. But as your fingers worked, moving with practiced rhythm, something was missing. You could feel yourself getting wet, your body reacting, but it wasn’t…enough. The sensation remained dull, just on the edge of pleasure, refusing to give you the relief you needed.

Frustration built, and you let out a soft, needy sigh, the sound of it almost foreign to your own ears. “Logan…” you whispered, his name spilling out on instinct, but even saying it out loud did nothing to stoke the fire. You tried again, a little more insistently, your hand moving faster, pressing harder, but the ache in your chest only grew as the release you needed slipped further away.

“Please…” you whimpered, barely aware of the soft plea in your voice. Your lips parted as you mumbled his name again, breath hitching as if the sound alone could bring him here, could make your fantasies real enough to touch. “Logan… I need you… please…”

The air in the hallway thickened as Logan reached your door, every inch of his body keenly aware of the quiet but unmistakable sounds drifting out from your room. He’d been looking for you, a little concerned when you hadn’t shown up in the dining room with the others, but he hadn’t expected to find you still in bed at this hour. And he sure as hell hadn’t expected…this.

Your voice, hushed and breathy, sent a shock through him, making his fists clench at his sides. The way you murmured his name, as if he were the only thing you needed, tugged at something deep inside him. His jaw tightened as he strained to listen, torn between stepping away and giving you the privacy he’d unintentionally invaded—or giving in to the primal pull to walk in and be exactly what you seemed to need.

A frustrated, desperate sigh escaped your lips, almost a plea, and the scent of your need grew stronger, filling the hallway and his senses until his restraint nearly shattered. Before he knew it, his hand was on the door, pushing it open in a single, decisive motion.

You didn’t hear the creak of your bedroom door until it was too late.

When you opened your eyes, there he was, Logan standing in your doorway, watching you. His expression was intense, raw, the guarded look he usually wore completely gone. You froze, heat flooding your cheeks, but your body betrayed you, heart pounding as you realized he’d heard every word. And he wasn’t moving back.

He took a step inside, closing the door softly behind him, his gaze holding you captive. “Sorry, darlin’,” he murmured, using a nickname you’d never earned from him before, his voice thick, rough around the edges. His eyes roamed over you in a way that made your breath catch—as if he’d been fighting this moment longer than he’d ever admit. “Didn’t mean to interrupt.”

But the way he looked at you, the way he stayed right there, told you he was anything but sorry.

Recovering from the shock, you jerked your hand away from your panties as if burned, heart pounding and face on fire. Caught didn’t even begin to cover it—you’d been caught fantasizing about him. And it wasn’t just any daydream. You’d let yourself fall into the idea of his hands, his mouth, his low growl against your skin, the thought of his face buried between your thighs driving you wild.

But now he was right there, larger than life, his piercing gaze fixed on you. A wave of panic flooded through you, and you searched for something to say, some way to explain yourself without making it worse, but all the clever words you usually had seemed to vanish. You were always quick with a retort, always strong and sure, but now? Now, you could barely meet his eyes, fumbling for words like a nervous kid.

A soft, “Shh… it’s okay, sweetheart,” rumbled from him, low and soothing as he crossed the room. He wasn’t upset—hell, he didn’t even look surprised. Instead, there was something else in his eyes, something gentler, maybe even…concerned? He settled onto the edge of the bed, the weight dipping beside you as his hand came to rest on your shoulder, thumb brushing in soft, reassuring circles.

You rolled to your side, burying your face in your pillow, wishing the mattress would just swallow you whole. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled, voice muffled by the fluffy cushion. You didn’t dare look at him, feeling his warmth beside you, his steady palm now traveling to your shoulder blade.

“It’s okay,” he murmured, voice so soft and kind it almost undid you right there. He started tracing comforting patterns and you could feel the warmth of his hand through your t-shirt. And then he paused, giving you a moment to breathe. “Talk to me, darlin’.”

Here it was again, that nickname you had so desperately wished for and your grip on the pillow tightened, the words slipping out despite yourself. “I… I’m stuck,” you admitted, barely a whisper. “I needed a…boost to… get out of bed.”

The silence settled between you, thick with a mixture of embarrassment and curiosity. You could feel the way he was watching you, his gaze so intense it made your skin prickle.

“Does that happen a lot?” he asked, his voice gentle, almost as if he were talking you through a storm. You nodded, still refusing to look up, knowing how vulnerable this felt. “Almost every morning,” you admitted, the words nearly catching in your throat.

“And… do you make yourself come every time?” His voice was low, but there was a raw, hungry edge to it now that made you ache even more. You felt heat flood your cheeks, the silence between his question and your answer practically crackling.

“Most days,” you said, so softly it was barely more than a breath.

He let that settle, and then, his last question fell, just a hint of roughness in it. “Thinkin’ of me?”

You didn’t answer. You couldn’t. But the sudden warmth at the tips of your ears, the way your face burned, pressing even harder against the pillow, was all the answer he needed. He stayed there, hand still tracing those soft circles on your back, closer than ever, and you could feel every inch of his presence, his silent understanding.

Logan’s hand stilled for a heartbeat, and you could feel him leaning closer, his breath brushing along your temple. “Then let me help you, sweetheart,” he murmured, voice soft and reassuring, the offer lingering between you, unspoken but unmistakable.

The words barely registered. Your mind scrambled to process them as they settled over you like a blanket you hadn’t realized you needed. What? You pushed yourself up on your elbows, eyes wide, almost demanding him to say it again, to prove you hadn’t misheard.

“If that’s what gets you up, then… let me help,” he said, a gentle smile softening his usually hard features as he replaced a strand of your hair behind your ear. He was serious—honest, even. A flicker of something warm and sincere lingered in his eyes, a quiet honor in knowing you reached for thoughts of him in those intimate moments. And yet, you shook your head, feeling a pang of doubt.

“No, Logan,” you murmured, swallowing hard as you pushed away the thought of pity or obligation. “I don’t want you doing this because you feel like you… have to. I don’t want that.”

A moment of silence stretched between you, heavy but not tense, as Logan’s gaze softened even more. “I don’t feel like I have to,” he whispered, voice rough yet impossibly gentle. “I want to. I want to help you.” He let out a breath, barely audible, as his eyes held yours. “I want you.”

Those words, so earnest, so raw, carved straight through you, catching the breath in your chest. You searched his face for anything that might prove it was a lie, a flicker of doubt, anything to suggest he didn’t mean what he’d just confessed. But his gaze remained steady, almost reverent, as though he couldn’t believe his own luck. In that gaze, you saw nothing but honesty, and in that honesty, a hunger that mirrored your own.

“Just tell me what you need, princess,” he murmured, voice deep and devout, making your skin burn. “Tell me, and I’ll do it.”

A rush of heat washed over you as he leaned closer, his breath mingling with yours, and you couldn’t help the warmth that spread between your thighs, the ache for him burning hotter than before. A shiver ran through you, and with a nod, you swallowed, barely managing to whisper, “Touch me…” the desperation clear in your voice. “Kiss me…”

In a heartbeat, his hand was on your face, the roughness of his fingers a gentle caress that grounded you as he tilted your face up toward his. His lips brushed against yours, soft at first, tasting, savoring, and then he sank into the kiss with a low, guttural moan that sent a shock straight through you. The room blurred, everything fading until there was only him, his lips coaxing you, drawing every ounce of want to the surface, and you melted into it, letting the world fall away.

A soft groan escaped your lips as his free hand found your knee, inching up against your thigh, each touch of his fingers sparking under your skin until every nerve felt alert, humming. When he slipped his fingers under the hem of your panties, a shudder tore through you, and before you could even think to hold back, you gasped against his mouth, arching into his touch as his thumb found its way to your clit. The warmth of his fingers was nothing like your own touch—it was electric, hot, setting fire to your senses as he began those slow, teasing circles.

He pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, his own brimming with something almost tender as he murmured words against your lips. “You’re so beautiful… can hardly keep my eyes off you most days. You drive me crazy, y’know that?”

The confession, paired with his touch, made your skin burn even hotter. You spread your legs a little wider, instinctively inviting him closer, letting him take his time as he pressed warm kisses down your neck, each one sending a fresh wave of heat down your spine. His lips traveled lower, igniting every inch of skin he touched, until he brushed over the thin fabric covering your chest. He paused, and your breath caught as he pressed a slow, open-mouthed kiss over the peak of your breast through your t-shirt.

Your fingers clutched the sheets under them, gripping hard as his thumb continued its torturously slow circles, your body wriggling beneath him. But as another one of his finger slipped inside you, a moan escaped, deeper, rawer than before. He moved slowly at first, teasing, letting you feel every inch of him, every subtle twist and curl of his fingers. Your whole body tensed, feeling the tension coil tighter and tighter in your belly as a second finger joined in, reaching places you couldn’t on your own, working you in a rhythm that had you quivering under him.

Feeling the building heat, you couldn’t hold back anymore. With a desperate exhale, you reached for the hem of your shirt, tugging it up, exposing your breasts to his hungry gaze. “Lick…” The single word fell from your lips, soft but insistent—a perfect blend of a plea and an order, the only way you knew how to ask.

A lazy, pleased grin stretched across his face as he lowered himself, meeting your eyes with a flicker of mischief. “Yeah? Whatever you need, sweetheart…”

And then his mouth was on you, his tongue warm and firm as he began to taste the skin of your stomach, teasing, and the sound you made was something you’d never heard from yourself before. It was raw, unguarded, and he took it as permission, his mouth traveling up, his fingers never slowing as he found every spot that made you shudder, that made you melt around him, fully under his spell.

Words started spilling from his mouth as he murmured against your skin like a prayer, his voice thick with reverence as he whispered things you never imagined would pour from his lips. “You’re so damn perfect,” he breathed, the heat of his words sinking into you as his mouth moved over your nipple, his tongue tracing circles, slow and deliberate, leaving you aching, raw with need. His free hand cupped your other breast, thumb brushing over the sensitive peak in the same worshipful rhythm, his fingers kneading with a gentleness that only made you more breathless.

“Could do this every morning… if you ordered me to,” he murmured, his words laced with devotion, his voice unlike anything you’d ever heard before. The softness, the way he touched you, spoke to you as though you were something holy—it made you shiver.

He paused, lifting his head just enough to meet your gaze. The look in his eyes was nothing short of adoration, and the intensity made your chest tight. “I’d worship you, body and soul, if you wanted me to,” he went on, each word like a promise, thick and raw, like he was saying something forbidden, something sacred. “I’d be content just to be… the dog sleeping at your perfect feet.”

The sheer need in his tone—like he’d surrender everything just for a chance to touch you like this ever again—sent you spiraling. You clung to him, his words igniting something deep within you, a desire that felt endless, consuming. Each touch, each gentle pinch, only drove you closer, made your whole body taut with need.

“You’re a queen, divine,” he whispered, his hand pressing down, fingers pinching and rolling over the sensitive peak of your breast, but also curling and scissoring in your wet core, drawing a moan from you that he swallowed with his mouth, as though the air you breathed out was blessed. “And I’d be anything you wanted, just to have permission to look at you like this whenever you’d allow.”

The devotion in his voice, the reverence, held a depth you’d never felt before. Every nerve in your body was on fire, drawn tight and ready to unravel.

His fingers moved within you in perfect rhythm, coaxing and curling with an exquisite control that only made you melt deeper into him. He felt you tightening, your body responding to every movement, and he leaned closer, his voice like a gentle request and a plea all at once. “That’s it,” he coaxed, his tone devout and low, “Let yourself fall… I’ll catch you, my Goddess… my everything.”

And as his words wrapped around you, you let yourself go, falling into a release that tore a gasp from your lips, his name leaving you in a breathless, broken whisper before you dissolved into laughter, unable to contain the sheer, overwhelming rush that coursed through you. You shook with the pleasure of it, his steady hand guiding you through, his fingers keeping a perfect pace as you rode the waves, your body arching, your breath ragged.

He didn’t stop, his gaze locked on yours, watching you, almost spellbound. The look in his eyes, pride mixed with something almost… awestruck, as if he couldn’t believe he was the reason behind every sound, every tremble. A smirk tugged at his lips, but there was a tenderness there too, a softness that made your heart race all over again.

Finally, a sigh slipped from you, your body melting into the bed, limbs relaxed and loose, the intensity fading into a satisfied numbness. He stayed beside you, fingers brushing a soft caress along your side, his eyes warm as he leaned close. “Good?” he asked, the hint of a chuckle in his voice, though his expression was still reverent, soft.

The answer was written all over you, your body relaxed in a way that left no doubt. With a soft sigh, you nodded, letting yourself sink back into the moment.

“Better than I've been in a long time,” you admitted, the honesty coming out almost in a whisper. Before he could respond, you sat up, cupping his jaw in both hands, pressing a kiss to his lips, slow and filled with everything you couldn’t put into words.

“Thanks,” you murmured, brushing your nose against his in a quiet moment of affection.

He held your gaze steadily, his expression a mixture of softness and something fierce beneath it. “Anything for you, darlin’,” he replied, the sincerity in his voice resonating through you. “Anytime.”

A small, shy smile tugged at your lips under the weight of his gaze. The intensity there made your heart skip, and without thinking, you ducked your head, pressing yourself into his neck, wrapping your arms around him tightly. You could faintly feel his heartbeat under your cheek, steady and grounding.

“Is this real?” you found yourself mumbling, a part of you still wondering if you were about to wake up.

His hands rubbed slow, soothing circles over your shoulder blade. “Yeah, sweetheart, it’s real,” he murmured against your hair, chuckling softly.

You nodded, and the moment lingered a little longer as you noticed his hands trailing down your back, brushing lightly enough that a hint of heat rose between you again. You pressed closer, feeling the evidence of his own desire still lingering beneath the denim of his jeans, hard and unyielding against you.

“What about you?” you asked softly, feeling the slight twitch of his hands on your waist.

His gaze dropped, a faint, almost self-conscious smile playing on his lips. “I can wait,” he replied, voice low, a hint of gravel to it. He met your eyes, his expression warm, reassuring. But as he held your gaze, something in his eyes promised that, whenever you had time, he’d still be there, waiting for you.

His words reminded you of the day ahead, the responsibilities waiting, and with a deep breath, you reluctantly pulled yourself back, your body protesting the loss of his warmth as you moved to stand. You gave him a rueful smile, glancing at the stack of clean clothes that still sat on the chair by your desk, needing to be put away, from which you pulled some underwear, a shirt and pants. His eyes stayed on you, a steady, silent presence even as you dressed.

Tentatively, you extended your hand to him, silently inviting him to get up, but instead, he caught it, pulling you back to him with a gentle tug. His head pressed against your stomach, hands wrapping behind your thighs as he inhaled deeply, his nose brushing the fabric of your shirt, breathing you in like he was memorizing every part of you.

The moment felt like a quiet confession, unspoken but profound, and your fingers found their way to his hair, combing through the strands in slow, comforting motions.

“I could stay here forever,” he murmured, his voice a warm, rough whisper that seemed to settle in the depths of you.

The words felt like they carried a weight he hadn’t quite meant to say out loud, but he didn’t pull back. Instead, his arms found their way to your waist, wrapping around you, holding you like he wasn’t ready to let go. His warmth spread through you, and you couldn’t help but feel the tug of something deeper, something that made you want to sink into this moment for as long as it would last.

You brushed a gentle kiss to the top of his head, savoring the feeling of him so close. “I could, too,” you whispered, barely louder than a breath, feeling the vulnerability of it even as you spoke. And when his grip tightened just a bit, you knew he’d heard you.

But time pulled at you both, and eventually, you forced yourself to take a step back, feeling the coolness of the room where his warmth had been. He looked up at you with that same, steady devout gaze, as if you were the only thing that mattered.

“Guess we’ve both got things to do,” he murmured as he stood, his voice reluctant, fingers brushing over yours, hesitant before reaching out and wrapping his hand around yours, a bit tentative, as if unsure if you'd welcome the contact.

You nodded, giving his hand a soft, reassuring squeeze, your silent way of saying you felt it too, that you were in this together.

Slowly, you both made your way to the door, side by side, neither of you willing to rush this. You glanced at him as you reached the doorway, catching the way he watched you, his gaze carrying a warmth and intensity that made your pulse stutter.

The promise in his eyes lingered, and it held a quiet certainty. Despite the end of this perfect moment, you knew it was only the beginning.

Notes: If you enjoyed it, don't forget to comment and spread the love 😊 More on the way!

✨ Masterlist ✨

Don’t forget to follow the tags “xpressit writings” to stay tuned for more stories 😁

[just-another-author-i-guess]

Judd smut in Y/n's car? 😈

JUDD SMUT IN Y/N’S CAR !!!

Tags: fem! Reader, porn without plot, well I mean they talk like a little before they fuck, driving under the influence?, okay literally don’t do that pls idk why they did it in this fic, being low key inappropriate in front of kids, more weed smoking 🫶, judd has a HUGE HORSE COCK, he also degrades Y/n quite a bit, also like semi public sex??, it’s literally in a car, and once again very unprotected sex, PLEASE WRAP IT!!

Summary: they fuck in Y/n’s car after Judd got his taken away lmfao

Author’s note: SORRY this took me so long to write for some reason,, I hate school so much oml 😡 I was originally going to finish and post this yesterday but like then I got a bunch of unsolicited dick pics and I got scared and didn’t feel like writing smut anymore 🧍🏻🏃🏻‍♀️ anyways,, I’m back today and I’m fine, just traumatized. I love being a woman fr 💩

Judd smut in Y/n’s car

Word count; 3,9K

(smut under the cut)

Judd took a long drag of his cigarette, exhaling most of it through his nose but having the decency to turn his head slightly and exhaling the rest through the barely opened window. 

He flicked the burned tip out the window as well; cinder falling down and gathering in the cracks of where the window sat in the door. 

“You drive like a fucking grandma— drive faster,” He instructed.

You didn’t turn your head from the road. “I’m actually driving exactly what the speed limit allows. Fuck off. “ You grumbled.

The two of you were on the way back from one of Judd’s deals, which you were almost late to because Judd decided to leave 10 minutes behind schedule, forgetting you had to drive and refused to go too far over the speed limit. The deal itself had been pretty uninteresting; you sat in the car and watched as Judd handed the guy a plastic back and he handed your boyfriend the money. 

He got his car hijacked (parentsjacked) two weeks ago, because he got caught lighting an old building on fire. You were there too, actually, too drunk and stoned to care in the moment; but because Judd could be a pretty good boyfriend at times he covered up for you. 

“Yeah. Whatever. I need at least one of us to have a car.” He said, when you asked him about it. 

Immediately after, you had been prompted to Judd’s personal Uber. Not to mention he had to hide most of his,, not legal substances in the trunk of your car, hence why you were now even more adamant on following traffic rules as to not get pulled over by the cops. 

(Or found out by your mom, who already wasn’t a very big fan of your boyfriend) 

His raccoons had also made themselves at home in your backseat, at the moment the two of you were alone in the car but often there would be a couple of them napping in the back. 

Judd grumbled something in response that you didn’t quite hear, but you retorted; “Shut the fuck up. Why can’t you just act like a passenger princess, or something,” 

He opened and closed his mouth, cigarette hanging on his lips. “What the fuck did you just call me?” 

You smiled a little. “That’s what you are, babe. You’re my passenger princess,” 

Blinking slowly, he put the cigarette out in the ashtray he had placed between the front seats and stared at you blankly. “What the hell are you talking about? You think I look like a princess?” He was baffled. 

You suppressed a chuckle, and turned your head quickly to gauge his reaction. “I forgot you’re too edgy to use tiktok,” You murmured. When you opened it on your phone, he would sometimes stand behind you and glare at the screen over your shoulder, but that was all the exposure he’d had to the app. 

Judd frowned. “Why don’t you pull over and I’ll show you who the real fucking princess is.” It was half a threat, but none that you took too seriously. 

“Oh, yeah? You’d have to pay extra for that, Uber drivers don’t normally fuck their costumers.” You answered coyly, but he didn’t find your quip nearly as funny as you did. You turned back to the road, making sure you weren’t about to run into any middle schoolers as you neared Bridgeton Middle School. Judd didn’t say anything– but you felt his large hand slither up your leg, enclosing around your thigh and squeezing the fat there softly. 

He looked out the window to his side, refusing to grant you attention while he continued to massage your thigh; and glaring as you pulled into the parking lot. Judd had convinced you to skip school that day, so you could drive him to his stupid deal and you could smoke and get McDonald’s after. The first part of his plan went without a hitch, until you got incredibly high-horny and you ended up fucking in the bathroom at McDonald’s as well. Unfortunately, you had to leave sooner than intended; in a daze and desperate to sober up before you went and picked Jessi up from school. Coincidentally Nick as well, since, you know, Judd's parents took his car. 

You parked and turned to Judd, crawling half over to his seat and forcing him to look at you. His glare lessened as he stared at your grinning face so close to his; leaning in. You kissed him softly once, then twice, then three times, giggling and pulling away whenever he chased you. He growled and the hand on your thigh went to your waist, he pulled you in and was just about to kiss you properly, forcefully and roughly when a series of knocks came to your window. 

It was Jessi and Nick. You averted your head and let Judd kiss your cheek instead, gently pushing him back as you sat back down in your seat. You motioned for the two to come in.

Jessi opened the door, and allowed Nick to crawl inside first. “It smells like weed and junkfood in here.” She commented, a slight question in her statement as she crawled in, too, and closed the door behind her. 

You turned your body halfway in your seat, coming to face her. “Sure.” You ignored her comment. “Had a good day at school?” 

Both her and Nick nodded reluctantly. “Yeah. Can you help me with some maths-stuff later?” She asked and you wrinkled your nose; Maths was not something you were particularly good at, but you nodded and agreed to help her anyways.

Judd’s hand returned to your thigh and you glanced at him– he was staring blankly at the kids, but he met your eyes with raised eyebrows, indicating he wanted something from you. You hummed. “Hey, Jessi, how about hanging out at Nick’s house for a while?” You looked to Nick, who flushed slightly and nodded in agreement. 

Jessi’s mouth tightened as she looked at Nick, and then you. She new that when you asked her that, you really meant; “Hey, Jessi, it would be more convenient for me to drive straight to Judd’s house so we can fuck.”

“C’mon Jessi, we can watch a movie or something,” Nick added hopefully. You smiled, a bit tightly as you looked at Jessi and she reluctantly uncrossed her arms and agreed. “Okay, fine. But can we do that stupid biology assignment together then, instead?” 

Nick agreed happily, and the two quickly got a rather animated conversation started. You drove out of the parking lot, Judd’s hand increasing in height on your thigh till he was toying with the hem of your skirt. You flushed, gently pushing his hand down a couple times so Jessi and Nick wouldn’t see, but it ultimately was a losing battle. 

The two’s conversation turned to background noise as you drove towards your destination, as fast as you could; now way faster than the speed limit allowed. Judd’s incessant caress of your thigh made your heart beat so much faster and your finger’s grip the steering wheel so much tighter— you could feel him staring hungrily at you the whole time too, seizing you up with that small twitch of his lips that meant he was going to fuck you till your legs were jelly. 

‘Step on that goddamn speeder, sugar! Look how he’s eyeing you.. like a big, hungry wolf,’ Connie’s claws locked around the back of your seat, and she moaned when his nails slightly scratched at your fishnets; lifting them and making them slap against your thigh. 

You gasped, and sent him a glare that bordered on a sultry pout. “I can’t,” you muttered to Connie. “I’ll actually run someone over if I go any faster,” 

Your monstress shook the seat harder. ‘They won’t mind giving up their life for some sweet, sweet lovemaking baby~’  She purred and you glanced at her briefly, with a scandalised expression. 

“I really don’t think you should be saying stuff like that,” You retorted, focused on evening out your breathing from the slow teasing of Judd’s warm hand. Then he leaned in, squeezing your thigh in a death grip and placed a long, slow kiss under your jaw 

“You changed your mind about fucking your Uber costumer yet?” He drawled, deep voice dragging a whispering growl all the way up your spine.

You shivered. “I think I have,” you breathed back and felt him smile triumphantly against your neck. 

He cackled darkly. “Good. You better drop the fucking attitude,” Then, he snapped your fishnets again, watching as thin, red lines appeared on your thigh.

Connie moaned loudly again, fanning her hands in front of her face before dramatically laying down on the floor of the car, between the front and back seats. 

“Ew. Can you two not?” That time it was Nick speaking, arms crossed over his chest.

Jessi nodded in agreement; her gaze was locked on where Judd was touching your thigh, burning into you. Your boyfriend in question slowly retreated his hand, half turning in his seat to glare dissatisfied at your two passengers. 

Nick shifted uncomfortably and whatever insult he had died on his tongue. “What? Are you fucking jealous or something?” He sneered.

The younger shrugged and looked away. “No.” 

Judd grunted, gravely and deeply. “It’s not my fault you can’t get your little prick wet,” He wiggled his pinky finger for emphasis. 

You failed to hold back a giggle and gently slapped his arm. “Don’t tell thirteen-year-olds to have sex, you ass,” You scolded, halfheartedly through and smiled as you came to a stop in front of the birch house. 

“Okay, get out you two!” You called over your shoulder. “We’ll be right in— I’m just gonna park.” You bluffed, and didn’t miss the way Jessi rolled her eyes at you as she slammed the car door behind her.

Connie rose from the floor to sit in the middle seat in the back. ‘Yeah, park Judd’s dick right in your pussy!’ She drawled, making obscene gestures with her hands. 

Judd was quick to point you to a nearby parking spot, concealed a bit by a willow tree with low-hanging branches. As soon as you were parked, you unbuckled your seatbelt and Judd was reaching for you.

He pulled you to him by your waist— settling you down over his lap, straddling him. You whimpered as you felt him against you, already straining in his pants. He grabbed greedy handfuls of your ass with one hand, having the other settle on the back of your neck and pulling your hair. He held your head in an iron grip, making sure you wouldn’t avoid his kiss this time around.

Then, he kissed you. Roughly, deeply, tongue invading your mouth almost instantly. You mewled as he bit your lower lip, arms wrapped around his neck and fingers gently pulling on the short hairs at the back of his head. 

You were already moving your hips, without thinking about it and he wasted no time in aiding you; thrusting upwards while holding your hips down and helping you rock back and forth. 

You were already quite sensitive from your earlier rough fuck in the McDonald’s bathroom, your clit swelled and started twitching almost instantly. The rough drag of denim on your panties was almost too much, but the sloshing of warmth in your lower belly kept you going— rutting yourself harder against him. 

He moved from your lips, you let out a soft, whiny sigh. “You wanted it that bad, huh? You’re already so fuck-drunk,” He commented, that wicked smile pulling at his lips. He squeezed your asscheek hard. “Up.” He instructed, and shakily, you lifted yourself up to stand on your knees instead of sitting on him. 

You held his shoulders for support, definitely not expecting him to bring both his hands under your skirt and roughly ripping your fishnets apart right under your pussy. He let them rip all the way down your thighs and you looked at him wide-eyed. 

“I’ll get you new ones, baby.” He grinned, a bit coyly as he pushed your panties aside. His cold fingers gently brushed your folds and you couldn’t find it in yourself to care about your ruined tights. Your breathing hitched and you desperately bucked your hips, trying to get him to touch you further. 

His other hand returned to your hip, to hold it in place and keep you from rutting yourself against his fingers. He gave a warning growl, brows drawing together as he concentrated on the task at hand. He teased your folds apart with his pointer, feeling how warm and wet you already were. You were pulsing, almost, starting to clench before his fingers even entered. 

“Judd—“ You moaned. “Do— do something.” You pleaded with him. 

Connie was going crazy behind you as well, both her and Maury were sitting in the backseat contributing to an animated conversation. Your monstress shook Maury by the shoulders, yelling at him to get Judd to do anything. 

‘C’mon! Fist her already!’ Maury roared, kicking the seat you and Judd were sitting on. 

Your boyfriend inhaled sharply, pressing his thumb to your swollen bud— forcing a breathy, drawn out whine out of you. He retaliated by pressing down harder, slowly moving his thumb in a circle that had you desperately bucking into his hand. 

He could feel your warmth leaking, wetness gathering and threatening to fall before he finally, finally gave in and shoved a finger into you. He looked at you, drinking in your expression as he burrowed one, long finger into your cunt.

Connie cheered and you cried out Judd’s name. He made a ‘come hither’ motion, slightly scratching deep within your walls right where you needed him. He chuckled, darkly as you clenched around his finger. 

“Want one more?” He asked— pressing down on your clit deliberately right as you were about to answer. 

You nodded your head, burying your face in his shoulder. “Mhm! Judd— please!” You wiggled your hips in emphasis. 

“Good girl.” He praised you, adding a second finger as promised. He pumped them for a little while, relishing in the moans you tried to conceal in his neck and grunting at the occasional bites you left. 

Then, he suddenly stopped moving, but not withdrawing his fingers. You whined pathetically in protest. “Relax, slut.” He said. “Fuck yourself on my fingers,” 

You didn’t need to be told twice, immediately you were bouncing up and down on his hand; trying to bring them as far into your pussy as possible. You clawed at Judd’s shirt, pulling the neckline down so you could properly bite him and conceal most of your whiny moans. 

He groaned, ripping his head back and allowing you more access to ravage his neck. You could feel yourself dripping, warm liquid gathering in Judd’s palm and running down his forearm. He pressed your clit harder, feeling your cunt clench tightly around his fingers— his cock ached at the thought of feeling your little pussy around him again. 

The car filled with loud squelching sounds, every time you rose and fell back on his fingers. Your pace fastened in time with Judd’s assault on your clit and you cried out; “Please—please, more! Judd, please!” 

“Yeah?” He drawled and you lifted your head from his neck slightly to nod your head. Then, he curled his fingers and touched a spot that had you seeing stars. You cried out, loudly, as his fingers began thrusting into you violently. Along with your combined forces, you moving your hips frantically and him rolling your clit with his thumb and scissoring his long fingers inside your pussy, you reached the edge quickly.

Judd sneered. “You gonna cum?” He knew the answer already, could feel it in the way your little pussy throbbed and clenched around his fingers. 

Your thighs burned from your rapid movement, shaking as liquid flames consumed your belly. “S’good, s’good— yes,” you breathed, clawing at Judd’s chest. 

He bend his fingers inside you again, breathing into your ear in his nice, deep voice. “Come on my fingers, pretty girl. C’mon.” 

Again, you definitely did not need to be told twice. The coil in your tummy snapped, and you fell apart with a loud cry of your boyfriends name. He continued finger fucking you through your orgasm, until you were even puffier and so sensitive that you were shying away from his hands. 

He grinned gleefully. “Good fucking girl,” he praised you, rubbing your clit in slow circles again, before finally pulling out and allowing you to rest on his knees. 

You sat, feeling your own wetness drip underneath you as you tried to catch your breath— Judd however, wasted no time, unbuckling his pants and pulling his fat cock out. 

You swallowed at the sight, how fucking hard he was and your pussy clenched again— as if it wasn’t already sore and abused. Subconsciously, you rutted your hips a bit forward, grinding on his knee as you watched him stroke himself. He hissed, hand tightly fisting the base of his cock and making its way to his leaking head; you timed your movements with his stroking. 

“C’mere.” He grunted, hands leaving his swollen cock in favour of grabbing your hips and pulling you towards him. 

On instinct, you reached forwards and grabbed his dick, standing on your knees again so you could sink down on him. You only managed to get the head in, before one of his large hands wrapped around your wrists; stopping you. 

“You take what I give you, slut. Pull shit like that again and I’ll have you on your knees instead, got it?” He growled, his other hand restraining your hip in a death grip that was sure to leave marks on your after— long, purple finger prints.

Though the thought of sucking him off wasn’t terrible, your pussy ached so pathetically and you knew the only thing that would satisfy you was Judd’s cock rearranging your guts. So you whined, but nodded and let him guide you back. 

He leaned the seat back a little, Maury yelped and moved away from his place behind you to make space as Judd leaned back. He lifted his hips up, emphasising what he wanted from you. 

You reached out a shaky hand, closing it around his base and moving up and down just like he had before. He groaned, teeth clenching as you smeared his pre-cum from top to bottom, massaging him to the best of your ability. Still, you couldn’t ignore the harsh clenching of your hole as he kept you empty. You slowly started grinding against his thigh again, hoping he’d let you. 

“Judd..” You sniffled, eyes close to filling with tears. “I need your cock inside me, please.” 

You could almost feel Judd’s dick hardened in your grip, and he growled and sat up a little straighter. “Jeez. You whine like a bitch in heat,” He commented, rather smugly.

He beckoned you with his fingers again, and you raised yourself right over his cock but waited to sit down. Judd hummed in approval, guiding his cock with one hand and you with the other, till the head was making its way inside you. 

You sighed, relieved, trying to relax your throbbing pussy so Judd could fit. He groaned. “You’re so.. fucking tight, relax.” He said, as he forced his way further inside you.

When he finally bottomed out, you moaned, loudly. He didn’t move right away, so again you took matters into your own hands and started softly rocking your hips. 

He grabbed your hand, placing it over your belly to feel the bulge his cock had created inside you. “Feel that, baby? You’re so full, aren’t you?” 

You barely registered the question, burying your face in his neck again to hide the way your whole expression screwed up in pleasure. “Mhm.. s’big, s’full.” You slurred.

Then, Judd started moving, bouncing you in his lap like a cocksleeve while you wailed into his shoulder. The stretch was almost unbearable, you felt him bruising your cervix each time he moved— the fit was so snug you could feel every ridge and vain on him. 

He lost himself in the feeling of your warm, soft pussy, having tuned Maury out a long time ago he fucked you mercilessly, entirely focused on reaching his own end. He lifted his hips off the seat to pound into you from below— you could feel him in your belly, your clit scraping over his lower stomach every time he moved. 

It was too much— you were already close to reaching your end, clenching so tightly around Judd that he cursed and could barely move. 

“Feel good, you little slut?” He grunted, blunt nails digging into your sides. 

You nodded desperately. “Good.” He said. “Then cum for me again, you’re so close, right? I can feel your little pussy clenching around my dick so tightly, god, you’re such a fucking whore.” 

You kinda wanted to say something back, but with his rough thrusts and the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head and crossed; you couldn’t really deny him. 

The air in the car felt electric as you came for a second time, bursting and feeling a flush of warm liquid spill from you and cover Judd’s cock. He groaned as you creamed, warm little hole sucking him in and fighting to keep him there. His breathing went erratic, and he bounced you harder, faster, to chase his own orgasm.

“Fuck! Shit, you’re so tight,” He growled through clenched teeth, fucking you so hard the car shook and he was sure to leave bruises. Your legs had gone numb by the time he took your hand again, placing it back on your belly right in time with his release.

His cock throbbed and he came. Hard. Thick ropes of warm cum filled you, stuffing you so full you could feel your belly swell even further under yours and Judd’s combined hands.

He leaned in and bit down on your neck, keeping his own noises as quiet as possible but making sure to leave your neck swollen and blue. You moaned softly as he bit you, not having the energy to shy away from the borderline painful overstimulation. 

When he came down, you collapsed into his chest— breathing heavily. You sat like that for a while, the car’s windows had been fogged up and the only thing you could hear were your combined breathing. 

‘Atta girl!’ Connie slithered around you, patting you on the head. You just mumbled incoherently in response, still too sex drunk to function. 

Maury did the same, ruffling Judd’s hair as he leaned his head back against the seat and praising him— all of which Judd ignored. 

“You’ll have to carry me back.” You muttered, after a long while.

Judd chuckled hoarsely, moving you a bit to pull out of you and tug himself back in his jeans. “Fuck no.” 

You slapped his chest, gently, and pulled yourself up to look at him directly. “I can’t feel my legs.” 

“Then I did a good fucking job.” He snarked, leaning in and kissing your temple. 

Well. It wasn’t like the two of you needed to be somewhere, relaxing in your car for a bit actually did seem like a pretty good option— and so that’s what you did.

God,, why am I horny for a fucking cartoon character wth 💀✋

Tags: @dlfvrr , @bxbyyyjocelyn (lemme know if you want to be tagged!)

[pearblossomrain]

personal summary of what might be the most unserious gp i have ever seen aka sao paulo 2024:

(almost needed a whole separate post just for qualis and side note, this sounds a bit like commentary bc i was actually making commentary when watching for my friend)

tldr for qualis; more red flags than an all boys' school, some controversial safety car periods, hamilton out q1, red bulls+sainz out q2, crazy top 5 of norris, russell, tsunoda, ocon and lawson in That Exact Order.

• before the race even STARTED, sainz was starting from the pit lane, albon didn't start the race due to damage from quali, verstappen had a 5 place grid penalty. when you think things are already crazy enough, lance stroll spins out on the formation lap which calls for a second formation lap, and then a third formation lap and aborted start due to lots of confusion (multiple drivers were noted 💀)

(will cut here to save space T-T)

• lights out and away we go....and so does the lead apparently bc russell almost immediately grabbed first from norris?? and he held onto that lead like my grandma holds a grudge; for what seemed like aeons. 😭

• verstappen, hamilton, colapinto and gasly were leaping up the ranks like nobody's business, literally blinked and i missed multiple overtakes from them.

• speaking of verstappen, he goes all the way up from p17 to p6 in like less than 15 laps and there was a super nerve wracking train of tsunoda, ocon, leclerc and verstappen that honestly stressed the hell out of me to watch for all those consecutive laps (i left to get an ice cream and when i came back, even the gaps between had barely changed at all)

• ferrari suddenly decides to pit leclerc incredibly early which i still cannot tell if it was a good idea or not because it started raining heavily and soon everyone except a few of the leading pack went into the pit after a virtual safety car period bc hulkenberg spun out (more on him later trust me), which puts us with a seemingly temporary top 3 of OCON, VERSTAPPEN AND GASLY??? in that order too! 🤡

• first red flag because colapinto collided really heavily into the barriers (man i feel bad for him, this is as close to a home race as it gets for him) and i swear nobody is having a worse day than the williams garage.....my genuine thoughts and prayers to that blue unserious team

• AN ACTUAL BLACK FLAG?!!??? to hulkenberg because apparently when he spun out he had marshals push his car back on track which isn't allowed (but i have to say, unless he made the marshals do it when they didn't want to, it's also a bit on them)....williams racing might have a competitor for most depressed garage after this 😭

• penalties!! so many penalties!! bearman picked up a couple of penalties for collisions and so did piastri which they keep until the end and i'm quite sure there were a couple more but i really could NOT keep up oops. (edit: one more thing! i do feel a little bad for piastri bc he had to sort of give a bit of way for norris at the end when they were stacked tgt only for them to not move up positions at all and with the 10s penalty idk how this will end up being.)

• this red flag period was so unbelievably long (i think all in all it was about 30 min?) that i had time to watch them all go into the pits and get out of their cars, then leave and do some laundry, grab a snack and a drink. 😭 and when i returned, 16 drivers had just requested a restart which in turn led the fia to call for a rolling start

• they finally went back to racing, and so many things happened relatively quickly; norris went wide and russell went past norris to p4, bearman got into the barriers but returns to bring up the rear (NOOO MY SON) and sainz crashed rather badly into the barriers and that was ANOTHER safety car period good god! (they said this is his second time in the barriers which, absolutely Foul, but unfortunately not wrong 😭)

• verstappen (who was honestly having a great day so far from p17 to p2) TOOK A PRETTY BIG LEAD which. oh my god we hadn't seen this in like 100 days or something 😭 and norris goes down to p7?? not sure what happened there tbh i was not looking closely oops again.

• there was a crazy back-and-forth battle going in the midfield bc both vcarbs are in front of perez who, in the commentators' words, "are both fighting for his seat" 💀 and hamilton was also chasing perez (and eventually got the last point) so there was just a lot of scrabbling for points i guess?

• also somewhere in there, i didn't keep track because of so many things happening, alonso spun out and ended up at the back of the pack (i also feel bad for him bc he mentioned back pain and bouncing at the end so sorry grandpa) and yet he did not finish dead last? afterwards he was dead set on finishing the race "for the mechanics", in his own words, which i see as an absolute class act in my opinion. hate him or love him, this makes me have huge respect for him.

• ALPINE. alpine oh my god i (and them. and EVERYONE HONESTLY???) can't believe they held onto a double podium all the way to the end wow i think nobody is happier than that garage and team rn like whole house GLADDD 😭 (p.s. my friend, not sure if she'd like to be tagged, said that the french flag and dutch flag at the podium ceremony were "like y-axis and x-axis" which had me losing it)

• honestly the only thing i am rather sad about is tsunoda finishing p8 after starting p3 but if we are being honest, parts of this race were due to circumstances and perhaps a little bit of additional luck but at least he is in the points and goodbye unlucky streak!! plus it's double vcarb points!

[side notes because this is as long as an entire speech; i did the maths and norris would have to be p1 and verstappen p8 in every single grand prix (not counting the sprint) to win by 1 point and if the maths works out that they're both tied in points, verstappen would still win because he has more grand prix wins even if norris wins all remaining 3 gps]

in conclusion, for a race i predicted would finish at 1:30am my time (it started at 11:30pm here) and hopefully i would get more 5 hours of sleep before work, i will be left with just over 3 hours of sleep now and yet i have ZERO REGRETS BECAUSE HOLY FCK THAT WAS A ROLLERCOASTER. absolutely nothing can top this race for me for the entire season and maybe even last season!!

definitely probably missed quite a few things but this is what i can remember off the top of my head or what was most memorable to me and it is 3am here so pls cut me some slack 🙏

[thedevilsoftruth]

Just Go to Bed ~ Loki x fem!reader

Warning: smut, smut, smut, SMUT!!! barely any plot, dirty humor, sex thoughts, a reallyyy sweet dom Loki, masturbation (m),unprotected sex, fluffy after care mentioned, Minors dni!!!

Summary: Loki is your husband and comes back home super late after doing missions. Wanting to surprise you when you wake up with him lying right next to you, it seems like you’re going to get that surprise a bit earlier… and a bit different than he had expected.

Notes: I wasn’t expecting my first post to get the attention it got, so I’m back again cooking up more Loki smut where he is once again your husband because I just want to write happy scenarios. This one is realllyyy short, so if you have like 10 minutes to kill, this is a good one to read. Enjoy!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loki had a problem. He had come home really late from doing doing missions again and he wanted to surprise you. You were sound asleep in your shared bed, which was perfect for his plan because now you could wake up to your beloved husband right beside you. His night was going just like he wanted. He could crawl in bed with you and finally get his so badly needed rest… if only you weren’t keeping him up. You were talking in your sleep all night— well, more like moaning and saying his name in that adorable little voice of yours he loved so dear. And because of that he had something worse to deal with; a rock hard cock.

Oh god, what was he going to do now? He could go into the bathroom and jerk himself off— but what if you woke up? er, id be an extra special surprise, right? no, he wasn’t going to wake his beloved wife up with jacking off. Perhaps maybe he could just go downstairs? No, that was just weird. He glanced at you, biting his lip and his hand palming his crotch. God, he was so pathetic. Getting hard off of his wife saying his name in her sleep? really who in their right mind would do that? Guilt was washing over him like a tsunami, it was overwhelming.

“ Loki.. mmm.. “ he heard your small voice mumble his name again as you grabbed the sheets with your tiny hands. God, he was the most pitiful husband of all time. But he so badly needed you at the moment, just to feel your hand running up and down his erect cock, to feel the tight walls of your cunt clench around him. He felt his dick twitch at the thought of being inside of you. God, he wanted nothing more than to fuck you senseless, but he was not going to wake you up just so he could bang you. It was selfish and unnecessary. He needed to man up and just ignore the party in his pants because what good husband would do such things?

He gave you a second glance. He was killing himself.

You moaned again and your cute face scrunched up as if you were in immense pleasure. Your hand unclenched the sheets and went to touch his chest subconsciously. Loki’s eyes became wide and he covered his hand with his mouth, he couldn’t even ignore his erection anymore.

“ oh fuck, “ he muttered under his breath, biting his lip and sliding his hands under his pants. who did he think he was? masturbating in front of his sleeping wife? god, he needed it so bad though. His hand rubbed around his pre-cum lubricated tip, accidentally letting out a small whimper at the contact. His slid his hand up and down his thick shaft, trying his best not to make any sounds as to not wake you up. He curled his fingers around his full length and quickly moved his hand up and down his wetness. Your arm jerked and his name left your lips again, which was just what he needed to hear. His hips bucked upwards and he used his thumb to rub around his tip before moving back down to pathetically stroke his shaft. He was too busy pleasing himself that he didnt even notice that your eyes were wide open.

“ Loki? what are you doing? “ his hand immediately snapped out of his pants and his gaze turned to yours. Your eyelids looked so heavy, you looked so precious as you were barely awake.

“ I’m back, my love… and I have a uh— “ he bit his lip again as he glanced at his crotch and then back at you. He gave you a pleading smile and tilted his head to the side a bit.

“ I have a slight problem. “ He whispered to you as you looked at him confused. now he had done it. he was a complete fool, an utter clown. He could just lie to you so he wouldn’t have to fuck you with feeling guilty, but he hated lying to you.

“ mm.. what is it? “ you asked, rubbing your head as you sat upright. Words couldn’t describe how bad Loki had felt in that moment.

“ I’m so sorry, my love. “ he spoke, crawling on top of you and giving your forehead a kiss. His hand ran through your hair and your brows furrowed.

“ Loki, are you hard? “ you spoke bluntly, figuring him out immediately. Loki had made love to you millions of times before and so it wasn’t hard for you to know when he wanted to get in your pants anymore. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment because he knew you knew him so well.

“ very. “ he spoke simply, giving you a pout and his hand moving down to rest on your waist. You giggled and laid back down, letting him take the covers off you and get in between your legs.

“ I missed you, love. “ you said, brushing your thumb on his cheek as he positioned himself nicely. He smiled at you softly.

“ I missed you too, darling. “ he said, leaning down to kiss your soft lips.

“ once again, I’m sorry-“ you cut him off.

“ Loki, just fuck me and get it over with. “ you said as your tangled your fingers in his dark curls. He nodded his head and smiled in embarrassment, magicking his way out of his clothes. His hands slipped underneath your silky nightgown and pulled your panties off your beautiful legs. Your body glowed in the moonlight, you looked absolutely stunning to him and it only made him crave you more. His twitching shaft slid into your tight entrance, making the both of you whimper as he worked slow thrusts into you gently.

“ what were you dreaming about? “ he asked with a wicked grin, leaning over to intertwine your fingers with his while his quickened his pace.

“ this—ha- exact moment. “ you said in between moans as his hips rolled in a steady rhythm against you. You arched your back and bucked your hips forward as he pounded into you like the hopeless man he was. God, he could already feel his climax coming up. He couldn’t even last a second and that went to show how truly pathetic he was.

He flipped you over so that you were on top, letting you take control of your own pace. You rocked your hips against his, making yourself moan as you rode him slowly. Loki gripped onto your hips tightly, slightly guiding your rhythm. He hated admitting to it, but he did need so much more than just that at the moment. Your body was too tired for any of this at the moment. He groaned loudly and flipped you over on your back again.

You tugged at his hair as he moved so fast against you that you felt like you were going to tap out.

Loki kissed your neck softly, sucking on your skin and making you moan even more and louder with the overwhelming pleasure surrounding you.

“ Loki, please- ah! d-don’t s-stop! “ you said breathlessly as your fingernails dig into his back. His lips continued to work at your neck, taking his right hand from yours to go to your clit. He massaged your wet nub of nerves as he continued to thrash himself into you. The smell of your sex filled the air, the sounds of him penetrating you reverberating through the room. You could swear you had never seen Loki this horny in your life, the way he could repeatedly slam into like that for so long was truly amazing to you. Every thrust sent you over the edge, making you grip onto anything for dear life as he worked you into a frenzy.

“ come with me, dearest. “ Loki said, feeling a burning sensation deep inside himself that he so badly needed to release. His fingers danced around your clit, rubbing fast circles around it to simulate you until you were completely chafed.

You threw your head back and screamed as he hit your sweet spot, sending you completely to heaven as waves of hot, wet, orgasmic bliss engulfed you and you reached your high.

Loki moaned softly, his orgasm releasing into your soaked core. The both of you panted heavily, trying to take in everything that had just happened. Sure, it was quick but goddamn was the the best thing you’ve ever woken up to.

Loki leaned forward and rested his forehead against yours, pulling out of you slowly while you both tried to catch your breaths.

“ we should go get cleaned up, darling. “ He said, placing a few short kisses on your forehead before standing up and carrying you into your bedrooms bathroom. He sat you down on the counter and reached into the cabinets to pull out a hand towel.

“ It worries me when you’re out there. I never know when or if you’re going to come back to me. “ You said, watching him use warm water to soak the small towel. He smiled warmly at you and placed his hand on your thigh.

“ My love, I have no intention to leave you. You are my world, and I can’t imagine it without you. “ he said, running his hand up and down your thigh comfortingly. All you could do was smile and nod.

“ That’s all I wanted to hear. “ you replied softly, giving his forehead a kiss. He returned the smile and reached in betwee your legs with the towel to wipe away any traces of cum off your core.

“ Thank you for sharing that moment with me, I’m sorry for waking you up. “ Loki said with guilt laced in his voice as he cleaned you off gently. You yawned and your eyes closed, you really were getting tired now.

“ Don’t apologize, it was….enjoya…“ And with those final words, you found yourself falling over a bit and passing out on his shoulders. Loki stood there for a moment, unsure what do to.

“ oh sugar, “

[yurislotusgarden]

Tying their hair up!

ʚїɞ Separately! Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya, Platonic! Kyouka Izumi x Reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ I got this idea after seeing this post! It's not really related but I got the idea, so here it is. I will most likely make a part 2

ʚїɞ word count: 1206 (Dazai - 428, Chuuya - 446, Kyouka - 336)

ʚїɞ Tw's: None! Just pure fluff, pet names: 'bella, doll, reader's gender is not specified in any way (if it is please tell me so I can edit it)

ʚїɞ I WANNA THANK THE 22 PPL WHO FOLLOWED MY ACCOUNT <33 I did not expect ppl to like my works??? Like at all??? I actually posted my first works here thinking they're gonna end up with maybe 10-15 notes with luck, and there they are with much fucking more, so thank you if you interacted with any of my works<33

Dazai Osamu

If you entered the armed detective agency office at the moment, you would see people working, someone missing out on a job but the possibly first thing would be able to notice is that the workers are stealing confused glances at Dazai because… since when does he tie his hair up?

“Hey Dazai, what’s with your hair?” Kunikida asked, wanting to know why the oh so lazy bandage wasting machine changed his hair. In the 2 years he’s been working with him, he never saw the brunette tie his hair up.

“Oh? A fabulous question, Kunikida!” The grin on Dazai’s face could really compare to Kenji’s sun smile. 

“I feel like I’m about to regret this question” A mutter from where Kunikida is standing was heard, but the older detective ignored it.

“You see Kunikida, my beloved Belladonna has done it! And I couldn't bring myself to ruin said happiness they got from seeing me with my hair like this, so I just came in like this!” The bandaged man had stars in his eyes upon recollecting what happened before he came to work.

Dazai looked like he was about to talk more about what happened earlier this morning… Yea Kunikida is regretting his questions, why did he have to ask?

//////////////////

Dazai was sitting on the floor in front of the couch between your legs while you were sitting on the couch behind him, tying his hair up into a ponytail around the back of his head since you decided it would be better for him instead of a higher one. Surprisingly, when tied up, the ponytail was quite long - longer than you first thought it would be.

“You were meant to tie my hair up, not play with it ‘bella” A subtle comment, but enough to get you to stop just running your fingers through his hair, you would've been done by now if you didn’t do that, but hey, you're gonna take any chance to play with his fluffy hair.

“you can’t blame me, your hair is too soft to not play with it when I have a chance” You chuckled, finishing up the ponytail and tapping his shoulder to indicate that you're done and he can stand up or turn around, whichever he prefers.

And as it is with Dazai, he preferred to turn around and hug your waist, burying his face in your abdomen.

…Goddammit you want to play with his hair like you always do when he’s like this, but you can't or you will have to repair the ponytail. Sigh.

Nakahara Chuuya

“Chuuya-san?” The ginger turned towards the voice, who turned out to be a woman with red-ish hair colored hair, Kōyō Ozaki.

“Yes, Ane-san?” The shorter of the two turned fully towards the taller woman.

“...May I ask what happened to your hair?... And where did your hat go?”  Kōyō asked, actually confused. After all, it’s not every day that you see the hot-headed executive with his hair up, much less without his hat. She’s sure she barely ever saw him take it off besides when in closed private spaces, and his hair being tied up into a high ponytail? She never saw it, but even tho she doesn't voice it out, she thinks the look really does fits the man.

“Ah, I decided to leave the hat at home for once, it would destroy the hair.”

“Why do you not want the ponytail gone?” Kōyō understands that technically it’s easier to do things when your hair is tied up, but she knows that longer hair never caused any problems to the short mafioso.

“[Name] is the one who made it, and they seemed really happy to see it on me”

///////////////

“Please Chuu?” You asked for maybe the hundredth time today, -surprised your boyfriend still has patience for you- about to give up on asking your partner if he would let you tie his hair up. You just wanted to see what he would look like! You can bet your life he would look better than those guys on magazines many droll over. They could never compare to your boyfriend anyway.

A sigh could be heard in the room, a head full of orange hair moving to look at you. Chuuya was getting ready to go to the Port Mafia Headquarters and was about to say no, but when he looked over… yea it was over for him before it started.

“Just don’t rip my hair out, doll”

“Hey! You know I’m gonna be careful!”

Next thing you two knew, he was sitting in front of the mirror while you were standing behind him, making the ponytail high on the back of his. ‘Why is his hair so soft wtf’ had appeared in your head but didn't voice it out.

You hooked your arms around his shoulders and neck, putting your chin on his head. “You look so pretty like this” When Chuuya looked at you in the mirror -as if he wasn't the whole time- the soft smile you had on simply killed him. He couldn't bring himself to destroy the little thing that made you happy so he ended up shocking your ass later on by not bringing his hat to work for once.

Platonic! Izumi Kyouka

just to see how she looks

“You look so cute!”

“Really?” 

You and Kyouka were the only ones apart from the clerks and Yosano in the clinic doing who knows what in the agency building as the others had missions, so you decided to do random things as you have already ended all the paperwork assigned to you for the day.

“Your hair is perfect for any kind of hairstyle but I think you look adorable with a ponytail, it suits you” You smiled at her. It really did fit her the same as her usual hairstyle, you just wish you had some hair accessories at the moment. Her hair would look even better!

“I’m glad you think so [Name]” A soft voice came from the younger girl.

You two continued to make small talk while you fixed her hair, before turning towards the office door when it opened.

“What you two doing over here?” Yosano looked at the two of them with a small smile appearing when she noticed Kyouka’s hair change.

“Messing with Kyouka’s hair. There’s not much to do at the office at the moment but we shouldn't leave the office yet, it’s still quite early” You said quietly, starting to look through your desk to see if you have any accessories for hair. Colorful to be specific.

“Hmm, Can I add myself to the fun?”

“You want to do something with my hair?”

“I have hair clips and more in my infirmary desk”

You looked up at her with stars in yours with such speed that Yosano couldn't help but ask herself if your neck is okay.

“Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go to your office, Kouka’s hair needs something more!”

The rest of the agency slowly started to come back one by one, to not only Kyouka’s hair being colorful from hairclips and more, but also to yours and Yosano’s hair being the same. There was some confusion about what they missed, Atsushi and Kenji just so happened to join in, to say the least.

Notes, comments, reblogs and anything else is greatly appreciated <3