#morning mindfulness

[wool-f]

Wellness: Through & Through | Part Six: The 5am Club 

I’ve spent the last decade online watching videos and reading blogs and articles all claiming that waking up at 5am is the key to changing your life, being productive, becoming to most successful person in the world, the list goes ON. 

As part of this experiment on my body that I’ve been undertaking here on Wellness: Through & Through, I really wanted to try out waking up at 5am and see what changes it had on my life and body. 

If you’re more of a video person, I’ve uploaded a video to my channel for you to watch here, but if you want to see a structured, written out approach, come with me through a journal style approach to waking up at 5am. 

Immediately when I first thought about getting into the 5am routine, I was filled with doubts at the possibility of me becoming a morning person. 

I had hated waking up early for 7am starts when I was in retail and hospitality, I could never imagine doing it WILLINGLY, let alone enjoying it. 

But was I in for the shock of my life - waking up at 5am has changed my life, and I will never go back. 

There are so many significant changes I’ve noticed in my daily routine that have been positive additions since starting my 5am routine and I hate to admit it, but all those articles were correct. It is life changing, you do become a better person. 

I want to start this from the outset saying that waking up at 5am is not going to be for everyone. But I think if the idea has crossed your mind ever, it’s worth giving it a go. 

The biggest change I’ve found in waking up at 5am is that when combined with early morning exercise, I am so much more productive throughout my entire day. It’s actually embarrassing to think about what I was doing before I was waking up at 5am. 

I was doing so much less, I was a lot more lethargic and I was procrastinating a huge amount throughout the day. 

I’m not in any way saying that waking up at 5am has fixed all my problems or cured my love of procrastination, but I am so much more focused and on point when I’m waking up and exercising before the sun has risen. 

I have noticed that when exercise is not factored into the morning routine, I am less productive so that should be noted, but it’s a huge thing that has changed for me. 

Combined in that little change, I’ve noticed I am far less lethargic throughout the afternoon, a fact that has really surprised me. 

Where I would normally go through a mid-afternoon slump, I am powering through my to-do lists, work or off time on the weekends. It’s like a magic trick. 

I’m not sure what the cause of this is, but I’m sure there is a scientist out there who has done a study on it. 

One thing I have enjoyed thoroughly about waking up at 5am, is the extra two hours I get to myself in the morning. Where I was rushing around, shoving my breakfast down my throat and burning my mouth on hot coffee, now I am relaxed, showered and able to eat my breakfast at a normal pace while reading a book. 

There is also a beautiful smell in the air early in the morning, that fades away as the day goes on. I can’t describe it, but I’m sure other people who are early risers can relate. It’s a fresh, crisp smell that hits your nose, and it almost is what I would imagine a fresh imagination to smell like. 

I think deep down it’s the knowledge that nothing bad has happened in the day yet, and there is so much opportunity yet to come, it’s the smell of a new beginning! 

A beautiful part of waking up so early is getting the opportunity to see the sunrise every single day. It’s getting later for me as daylight savings has ended in Melbourne and winter is setting in, but there is really nothing like watching the sunrise and the day begin, knowing you’ve already gotten through the first few hours. 

So, if you hadn’t already guessed, this is a tried and approved message to give the 5am club a go. I honestly am obsessed with waking up early now. I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older and this is what happens, but it’s definitely something I wish I had done earlier. 

Two tips I have for anyone giving this a go: 

1. Preparation is key: make sure you’re getting enough sleep the night before, that you’re hydrated before bed and that you have your clothes ready to go for the following morning to motivate you to move from the comfortable pillow palace you’ve made yourself over night. It will be a rough first week/two weeks when you begin, but if you’re ready to go from the moment you open your eyes, it will make it so much easier. 

2. Have a consequence for not getting up - I always book a 6am pilates class to force me out of bed, otherwise I’ll cop a late cancellation or a no-show fee. Having something to do as soon as you get up is honestly the key to success with this, especially if you’re a lover of sleep like I am. 

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself if you’re giving this a go, it’s not the easiest thing in the world to conquer. The day won’t change if you get up at 5.30am or 5.45am, but I think it’s really worth giving it a go, even just to give yourself an extra few hours in the morning to do something you enjoy, like read a book, or catch up on a TV show. 

Let me know if you give this one a go, and how you enjoyed/hated it in the comments below! 

You can find me on all my other socials using the handle @kweenofthieves, but outside that, I’ll be back with you all next week! 

All my love, 

Gxx

[holdoncallfailed]

marina abramović for GQ germany

[n4rval]

i lied. here's a bonus.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

[right to left]

STILL thinking about drunk chess actually

stupid as hell bonus:

[yeyinde]

waking up after a night out drinking in a foreign country only to realise that the bed you're in is not your own. no one is beside you. you try to leave but the doors are all locked. the windows won't open. you're trapped. a pretty bird in a cage.

nothing is in the dressers except large, old shirts. the clothes you were wearing when you woke up disappear after you take a shower. no panties. no bra. food shows up on schedule. you never see who leaves it.

they don't answer when you scream. when you bang your fists against the door until they're bloodied. passing out on the floor when the drugs finally kick in. but the mess you make in the daytime is cleaned up. your hands bandaged. disapproval heavy in the air along with the stale scent of tobacco. smoke.

when you're good, you get things. books. magazines. treats. your favourite food. a laptop arrives when you sob yourself to sleep after screaming yourself hoarse about loneliness, and how this isn't right. this isn't okay. it's restricted, of course. you log into Facebook but the moment you try and ask for help, the internet is turned off. you're being watched. monitored closely.

you learn your lesson slowly, giving nothing away to your family and pretending you're enjoying your holiday. being good. quiet.

instead of treats, gifts, recipe books arrive—some pages dogeared. you start making the food. leaving a plate in the fridge. it's gone the next morning. more recipes appear. you make them, too. an expensive chain comes next. a pretty gold necklace for a pretty bird in a golden cage.

(each meal gets you a strange rash on your cheek, jaw the next morning. beard burn, you think, and try not to shudder.)

lingerie comes after. silk, lace. all of it fits perfectly. you try to avoid it. the idea, the implication, is a knife between your ribs, but the next morning, your laptop is missing. the books are gone. food, too. your clothes disappear until all that remains is the lingerie set and a little black box. one you pointedly ignore. throw out with the trash. chew on gum to make the ache in your belly go away until that vanishes too.

your world is narrowed down to hunger. loneliness. isolation—

(in the corner of the rooms, a red light glints in the dark. lonely, but not alone.)

it persists until you relent. give in. another lesson you learn. you wear the set to bed, and try to think nothing of it—

you wake up to something heavy around you. a warm, thick body pressed against your bare spine. coarse chair tickling the skin between your shoulder blades. a burly arm under your neck, elbow bent to wrap a rough hand around your neck. the other slung over your hip, shoved between your thighs. something hard presses into your ass. a bruising pressure. it aches. you stifle a gasp, but with his long, thick fingers wrapped tight around your throat, he feels it.

everything goes still. quiet. just the faint rustle of sheets. the scratch of coarse hair on silk. a breath. you tremble. fight back another gasp when lips press into your crown with a sharp inhale. scenting you. nuzzling into your scalp. warm breath that smalls of malt and honey. woodsy. tobacco.

your eyes adjust slowly to the dark, and fall on a black box left on top of your end table. velvet, you know. you've felt the softness between your fingers when you threw it in the trash with a sob. no escaping it, after all.

the hand between your thighs twitches. when he speaks, it shudders through your spine, makes your hair stand on end. it's a growling purr. the low roar of an old engine. more grit than comfort in the midnight dark.

"jus' close your eyes, love," he rasps, pushing his thick body tighter against you. coiling around you like a big, hungry bear. "an' go back to sleep for me."

and you do.

[i-like-to-look-at-your-back]

Sleeping off

[b0tster]

every morning i wake up and every morning i delete pathetic lil pissbaby youtube comments that say something like this its honestly a highlight of my morning

[gossippool]

hi welcome back to leanne rewatches deadpool & wolverine and goes insane about every single detail in this movie. in this edition: how logan's clothes reflect the trajectory of his character

1. the suit—inside

so we start off with the scene in the bar where logan appears to be wearing what we're used to seeing him wear. flannels, leather jackets. his outfit and even the setting is not at all unfamiliar for him. but, as we later find out, he was wearing the suit underneath all those layers the whole time.

during his talk with laura, he reveals that he wears the suit to remember those he'd lost, and as a reminder of what he'd done. he's had the suit on permanently for god knows how long, hidden under his clothes. at this point he bears the suit like a cross, suffering in silence under the guise of normalcy, yet sacrificing what's left of his identity by reducing himself to what the suit represents; by taking all the jabs and nasty looks people throw at him that he thinks he's too deserving of to combat.

2. the suit—outside

after wade pulls him out, he has the suit on display for quite a while. on one hand, it shows the fight that's in him now as a contrast to his passivity in his own world. on the other hand, it's also a sort of vulnerability: what that suit stands for and by extension what he himself is is now laid bare to the world. out in the open for people to question. maybe that fight that's in him now stems precisely from this vulnerability.

this vulnerability is both good and bad for him: it causes him to lash out at the questions from wade that he's not ready to answer. it also leads him to open up to laura and finally speak about what happened—who knows if he's ever said any of it out loud before. fun! even with just the suit, we're already seeing some development.

and THIS is where it gets interesting.

3. the white shirt—his mind

the first time we truly see him without the suit is when cassandra nova looks into his mind. i've been going back and forth on whether this is logan's own manifestation of himself or if it's cassandra's, and i still don't know. i think the distinction does matter, but in the end what it conveys is the same.

firstly, another layer of vulnerability again. he's already on his knees for cassandra, submissive—now in his mind he's also stripped as bare as he can be (i think we all know white shirts can sometimes leave little to the imagination). cassandra looks at him and says "you're hiding ... from all the ones you let down." how interesting is that?? if we go all the way back to the first scene, he hides his suit under normal clothes. and he hides this version of him in his mind even further underneath all of that.

secondly and as an extension of that point, white symbolises purity. cleanliness. even a promise of new beginnings. let's tackle this from the two possible perspectives.

if this is logan's manifestation of himself, it would be so intriguing that this is how he appears. maybe it means that despite it all, there's some good in him. maybe it means that deep, deep down, past all the shame and the guilt and the grief, there's still a part of his mind where he can just be.

on the other hand, the white could also symbolise a second chance—like i said, a promise of new beginnings. i made a post about this scene here, but the basic point is that cassandra is offering him something that no one else may ever be able to offer him. a chance to fully be himself, to silence the voices. the white is such a stunning visual representation of what she is saying logan could be if he stays with her. which makes it even more poignant that he doesn't.

4. the time ripper

after this scene, he's in the suit again, necessarily. but then! BUT THEN!!!!! the time ripper!!! y'all need to understand the significance of this scene in all its nuances FR! here you can look at his abs again:

but the thing is we know by now what the suit represents. all his failures, all his guilt, his inability to let go of his past. it represents him. isn't it just so fitting that it's at this point where he saves the fucking world that the suit breaks away. it breaks away from him. he's free. this not the same as him just taking it off, because with it breaking into pieces he literally cannot wear it anymore. this is not just a hugh jackman body appreciation, this is logan finally moving on. this is him realising that he is not a failure, that he is not his failures, that he has something else to live for.

5. him

and oh my god, we finally make it to the extremely satisfying ending. after all of that, we finally come full circle. he's in his normal clothes again, the wife beater and the flannel, except this time without anything underneath. he's no longer defined by that one incident, defined by his mistakes and the people he let down. he is just him.

[sincerelybubbles]

"spence?"

"hm?"

"when did you get home?"

a more awake you would be squealing, thoroughly excited he came home early from his trip, but the early hours have hardly begun to bring light and you're struggling to even open your eyes to look at him. your cheeks still widen into a pleased smile though, turning into his warmth and humming, confused, when your hands find the rough fabric of his coat.

"a few hours ago," he says, voice rough, eyes still shut. one arm across his eyes, blocking the minuscule light, the other a vice around your waist. his voice is slow, deep in his chest, caught on the sleep he obviously wishes to keep. but he still turns his face toward the sound of your voice, smile creeping up at the corners of his lips, willing to entertain you despite his fatigue.

"are you still wearing your shoes?" you ask, voice teasing, scooting up in his arm to nudge your nose against the curve of his jaw. you press a kiss there, the point where his bone hits a right angle, lips tingling from the stubble you find.

"no," he says, voice honest, "i know better than that."

"no shoes, but your belt is still on?" you tease, fingers dragging across the leather. you don't care, not beyond a genuine concern for his comfort, but you enjoy teasing him in this way, skimming your lips across the rough skin of his chin in not-quite kisses.

"i took my gun off," he complains in a half-hearted groan, lifting his arm to peek at you out of the corner of one eye. "hi," he says, voice still soft, somehow deeper with affection, dimples the star of the show on his cheeks.

"hi," you say, tilting your head back and lifting your arm to cart your fingers through his mess of hair. "welcome home."

he smiles, reaching around with his other arm to gather you up and drag you across his chest in a bear hug, chuckling at the squeal you let out, sighing against your hair. he presses a firm kiss there, right above your ear.

"we will have to wash the sheets, though. it was really gross for me to not change, i was just exhausted, sorry."

[wool-f]

Wellness: Through & Through - Pilates and Running Update

Hello friends! 

This week I'm going to return to the beginning of my health and wellness experiment that I started last year and talk about pilates. 

To the people who know me and who read this blog please forgive me because no I cannot shut up about pilates, but I seriously can't stop. 

It's been one year since I began practicing pilates and I am completely embedded in the cult-like practice and seriously can't stop talking about it. 

But in any case, I've been doing pilates five times a week for the last 12 months and I've noticed amazing results in that time both mentally and physically. 

Since the start of this experiment I have done a lot of things to improve my health and general wellbeing, but pilates is the one thing that has stayed in my routine. 

In celebration of this, I've decided to really challenge myself over the next three weeks and run a half marathon while also completing a 5x5 challenge being done by my pilates studio. 

If you're interested in my plan and current progress, keep reading here! 

Ok so, like I said, I've been doing pilates for 5 days a week every week (except for the period between July - September when I was of course, travelling), and to say I haven't noticed the difference in my body would be a huge lie.

I have said it before and I will reiterate it now, I don't believe in exercising for only aesthetic reasons - I think it's a dangerous way to exist and can easily spiral into disordered eating and other problematic behaviours that can negatively affect health. However, I have noticed a huge difference in my body since beginning pilates. When I started the practice I was in a really bad mental state, I had put on weight and was doing next to no exercise at all. I needed a shock to my system. When I saw my body in comparison to what I looked like a mere eight months prior, I was shocked. Flabbergasted. Taken aback by how much I had let myself go mentally that I didn't notice the physical change in myself. It was like looking at myself with clear eyes again. 

 I got a really good deal at my studio as they had just opened and started going a few times a week. I slowly upped the days I would go until now where I try to get there at least 5 times, if not more. I have noticed that I am not only stronger, more lean and definitely slightly more muscular, but I have also dropped a significant amount of bloatedness and weight around my stomach, back and arms. 

The more important factors of difference for me however, have been the mental health changes I have noticed. I am happier and more focused and have so much more clarity in my daily thoughts and tasks. My sleep is much deeper and of better quality and in general I am just a much more healthy person. 

I enjoy the practice of pilates as a whole and the instructors at my studio are amazing, which definitely makes a difference for me. 

On to the half marathon. 

I began running properly in the Covid lockdowns, despite a lifetime telling myself that I hated running and that I was bad at it. Now I'm fully in the cult of running as well. This year I made a resolution that I would run a half marathon, and I decided to finally bite the bullet and sign up for one in the last month of the year. 

I will be running 21kms on December 3rd in Melbourne and I have started training properly (a bit later than I should have but better late than never) while also doing a pilates challenge, which means I'll be doing two types of strenuous exercise twice a day. 

I've been attempting to run most days now for two weeks. This hasn't gone off to the best start but I've been trying! 

I definitely have had to up my food intake and water intake and I'll be purchasing electrolyte jellies to try out before the big day. 

I'll update you all as I go along and if you want to get in the moment or more consistent updates, head over to my instagram and tiktok!

Otherwise, I'll be back next week with another blog post and as always please let me know if there is anything specific you want to hear/read about, I want this blog to be like a conversation with you all.

Love always,

G xx

[therainscene]

The Morning Visitor by Dino Buzzati reminds me of Will Byers so I redrew it with Will Byers, enjoy 🙃

[creamxxbrulee]

She’s a 10 but gets upset when you don’t show her when you cum

[socallmedaisy]

absolutely obsessed with the implications of the different versions of the ballad now we have the full picture. it really is a masterclass in songwriting.

we start with nicky's version. the road is a metaphor for death, but it's about acceptance ("tame your fears, a door appears, the time has come to go"). it resolves musically, we end on the note we began on. it's in a major key, it sounds happy. it's a fun little tune.

agatha takes this and twists it in the version that plays over the montage of her killing covens. some of the chords are the same (A and D in the chorus) but they're minor versions now. it sounds dark and sad. agatha is grieving. when the other witches join in the harmonies are sinister, adding notes from the minor key. this becomes canonised in the sacred chant version: for 260 years agatha has been stuck grieving nicky.

enter lorna wu. her version is in a different key (p sure it's E flat major at the start). there are still some minor chords but the overall effect isn't the same, it's a major key. partly this is a trick of the instruments and the rock/pop vibe but we know there's a still a mother's grief about not being able to save her child (and herself?) in there, but she's more positive about this than agatha was: she accepts her own death, and she will protect alice if she can, but ultimately the road is still a metaphor about death and everyone walks it, but this time lorna changes the lyrics (the door doesn't appear to death in this version, it appears "to love that never dies" the people we love stay with us after death). and then the bridge. now a bridge musically takes us somewhere new, quite often it signals a key change, a turning point in the lyrics, something shifting. here I think the function is to show us that lorna is not accepting of agatha's static version of the ballad that has stayed the same (unable to move past her grief). the key modulates to a minor one (I think it's A minor), it's sad as lorna tells alice that though lorna will die, she'll always be with her: "if I can't reach you... if I can't hold you, remember what I told you". I think it's significant the last chorus is "we" go down, down, down the road. everyone walks the road to death. it's part of life. agatha can't accept this, but lorna does. she'll see alice at the end.

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript:

Mmh- Good morning~ Wakey wakey, sleepyhead.

I made you some coffee. 

Cut up some fruit in the kitchen.

It’s time to start your day.

Are you- Jesus Christ, it’s 9:52, it’s 9- WAKE THE FUCK UP.

IT IS 9- ITS LIKE 10 AM, JESUS.

Audio Source

[buttercupshands]

I started drawing this next day after I finished Act 6

13 or so days and it's finished!

Main things are traditional and Loop's body was edited digitally after

Unedited it looks like this

I've been torn on how to do Loop's body for the entirety of lining, also

A bit sad the main lines are visible only as a wip, most of this thing is literally just a ton of sharp lines

I think it's also my first day of drawing, Loop is just a sketch here (feat. my leg)

I even finished the beans before it so they were a moral support, because if you let me things like this take a year

[beccawise7]

Never underestimate the beauty of showing your carnal desires to the person you crave...

~beccawise7💜🖤