#more like brain vomit really
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
unpopular opinion: arthur (as much as i like him as a character) was useless in terms of prophecy and liberation of the magic people. not just bc he never ended up lifting the magic ban but bc literally anyone sitting on the throne could have done that. i see no reason why it had to be arthur specifically. but the show liked to pretend like he was the only way to achieve a positive future bc the opprressed community cant simply help themselves that would be silly ig? no no they need to patiently wait that maybe one day their oppressor (whos literally continuing his fathers genocide even if less zealously) has a change of heart and they wont be hunted down like animals anymore. never mind the countless people that will have to die in the mean time. merlin can kill a bajillion people on screen and thats fine and for the greater good but if someone tries to kill One guy sitting on a fancy chair with a fancy hat suddenly thats too extreme. half the time it felt like the show was pointing to merlin as a poster child of how to act when oppressed. the fact that morgana growing bitter about uthers reign is framed as inherently bad and what directly lead to her becoming evil tm is particularly infuriating to me. the choice to create this very ya dystopian setting and then cast the oppressors as part of the main cast and the final solution is just very weird to me. i think it wouldve been objectively for the best if the magic community had overthrown arthur (or uther really but thats not really contested.. unless youre the bbc. this show is so british (derogatory))
in that vein: mordred has never done anything wrong in his entire life and that includes killing arthur
one more for the "arthur was a loser" folder
[ok but about the rest!! I have many thoughts about it. merlin as a member of an Oppressed Minority. his betrayal of his own kin. I'm putting it all under a cut bc you guys don't need to see me rambling about this and the disir again]
you make a good point — the way in which a story is framed, even the moment we choose as a "beginning", determines what characters we'll feel sympathy for, even when the facts at our disposal are the same.
I don't think the writers were trying to create any kind of deep social commentary btw. just so we're clear. merlin is the hero of the story and his mission is to keep arthur safe. we've got to root for them both.
to have a king with a hatred (fear) of magic gives us a convenient antagonist within the court. merlin having to defend the men that would have him killed for his magic is a great source of dramatic tension. it sort of follows that the people he has to fight against to defend the king/prince are other magic users, or magical threats. (it also keeps things interesting because there would be no challenge for merlin otherwise).
there isn't much of a point in exploring the motives and backstories of other characters with magic (with the exception of morgana, perhaps). They are only briefly touched upon — so these characters remain vaguely antagonistic for the most part. Neutrally aligned at best (see mordred).
We are shown that the druids are (mostly) aware of the prophecy that marks merlin/emrys as the saviour of their kind.
what I find fascinating are merlin's interactions with magic people who are either not aware of this prophecy (gilli) or have no faith in it (kara, possibly?) Because we're never given the chance or the time to see things from their perspective. To see merlin through their eyes.
When gilli says:
"It is time that someone struck a blow for the likes of you and me. And if you're too weak, then I will." (!!!)
It makes him sound like some kind of extremist, but really, when you think about it. isn't his anger kind of justified? I'm not condoning his violence, I'm just saying — it's understandable. uther has killed so many innocent people. literally drowned innocent children. and merlin's like "violence isn't the answer!" — and I can see his point!! but I can see gilli's just as well. and I find it so interesting that he's still addressing merlin as a brother ("the likes of you and me"), even when expressing disappointment in his actions and calling him weak. because they are the same. he's saying "you're deluded, and cozying up to the enemy won't save you"
this episode also contains what is (probably) my favourite dragon call. when merlin summons kilgharrah in other episodes, he's usually in the middle of some Urgent Situation. matters of life or death. there is nothing urgent here, really. yeah, it is arguably a matter of life or death, but nothing merlin couldn’t have stopped on his own. he really just called on kilgharrah to have a heart to heart with a friend — a member of his class.
("You are a creature of magic, and only a creature of magic could hope to understand.")
this episode is about merlin looking for kinship and still feeling isolated from his magic brethren. there's something tragic about the way the prophecy makes him unable to connect to some of the people who would be best placed to understand him.
and gilli plants a small seed of doubt in merlin's mind. "You've been pretending for so long now that you've actually forgotten who you are" (!!)
but kilgharrah reassures merlin that there's a golden age coming. so merlin does what he has to do — he saves uther once again. before gilli leaves, merlin reassures him that one day they will be free.
he tells mordred the same:
"It won't always be like this. One day we will live in freedom again."
and then, when he has the unique opportunity to use his influence on arthur to sway his opinion in the right direction. he fails.
he condemns himself, and the people he spoke to of freedom, to keep living in fear and in hiding — and what's even more upsetting, he does so while talking of a "just and fair kingdom"!
("You must protect the world you spent your life building, a just and fair kingdom for all." What an interesting choice of words. camelot isn't just and fair to all — as merlin knows well. he's lying to arthur, and possibly to himself.)
imagine being gilli or mordred and hearing him say that "there can be no place for magic in camelot." (!) What a slap in the face.
I've read meta suggesting that the disir were testing merlin just as much as arthur (or even more so than him). I'm inclined to believe it — I want to believe it. If anything because it makes the story all the more interesting and tragic. (I know what some are going to say — if mordred's destiny was to kill arthur, it would've happened anyway. but remember what else kilgharrah said — the future is never clear. there are many paths).
I understand why merlin did what he did, I really do. but for a moment, the fair and just kingdom he spoke of was within reach, and he failed to grasp it.
so was gilli wrong after all?
[and kara. I feel quite sympathetic towards her. we know arthur. she can't see him from our (merlin's) perspective. for her, he might as well be uther. magic people are still persecuted under camelot's law. she has spent her life on the run, she has seen people she loved be killed. and from our (arthur's) perspective, she looks like some kind of fanatic. but in reality. put yourself in her shoes. when arthur offers her a chance to save herself by "repenting" for her crime, she says she has nothing to repent for. "it is not a crime to fight for your freedom". that's the belief she's willing to die for. did she deserve to die for it?
(I also think there's an interesting parallel in merlin failing his kin in the disir, and arthur failing mordred in ep 5x11 by condemning kara to death. something about pinning all your hopes on someone who's going to fail you, and doom you both. idk idk.)]
sorry anon. you were saying
#merlin meta#more like brain vomit really#there is nothing particularly insightful in here#do you have an episode or a scene that makes you lose it#for me its that scene in the disir probably#I just [insert stick figure violence meme] when I think about it#many thoughts about merlin and the druids and those who knew him as 'emrys'#you have people like alator and finna - with an almost fanatic level of faith#but surely there must have been skeptics#druids who were like “what is he even doing. he's been in camelot for years”#“are we sure he's the right one”#it's just... from an outsider & skeptic perspective. merlin is a race traitor#defending uther and arthur like that#merlin iscariot#betrayal is such an interesting concept#but yeah I love it when he talks of freedom to his fellow oppressed sorcerers#bc it's easy to forget how much he suffers because of camelot's stance on magic#even merlin is so busy looking after arthur that he doesn't seem to have much time to dwell on his own oppression. if that makes sense#and meeting other sorcerers. it brings it back to the forefront#these are the people he's fighting for. brothers and sisters.#asks
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
you know what? im feeling very appreciative of yaoi today, actually.
not to be corny, but BL was literally formative for me, as in, not only was it the only source of queer fiction available to me for a long while (before song of achilles or ari and dante or w/e, and even after, because it was translated for /free/ by these "straight" "fetishizing" "girls" lol) but also, it's how i honest to god made my first gay friend. she was showing me her anime sketches on a school trip, and out of nowhere asked me "do you like yaoi?" (idk where you are now zanne but hope you're doing well 🙏🏽)
so, i guess that's why i'm a bit over-sensitive when people came into BL FANDOMS, thinking they're """""above""""" yaoi. like, i know the genre does have its issues, and i know people should write what they like. but EVERY DAY against my will i keep getting exposed to takes and they're honestly the reason i stopped reading non-canon dynamics for mxtx (even though i used to enjoy everything!!! rip 😭)
takes like (and i quote) "they're NORMAL human beings so of course they switch" "they both top and bottom that's love baby" "mxtx is so heteronormative why did she have to call wwx a wife :/" "the more you ask me to tag dynamics the harder lwj is going to bottom"
and just. to me it reads as absolute dripping condescension.
out of all the helpless and meek yaoi bottoms to take issue with they decide to pick on MXTX??? mxtx whose FIRST BOOK is an artful take down of genre conventions? mxtx who actually subverted the tropes herself by writing hyper-competent and badass MCs who are also bottoms, and GNC MLs who are tops? but no wwx and xl are powerful so they /have/ to top, and lbh experiences emotions so of course he's a bottom. wtf
to me this is similar to saying: "all yaoi authors are shit at writing women no exceptions, so yzy is obviously 100% a product of evil step-mother syndrome and not at all a well-written villain, so if you don't like reading good yzy then you're a misogynist."
#this is just same tired dynamics disk horse feel free to ignore#i lost steam multiple times writing this bc i think it belongs in my brain and ppl should write anything they want#but i really dont what more to do to avoid seeing these takes so i hope doing a word-vomit would purge this topic from my brain?#pls#ro talks#fandom wank#long post#also. the gall of that one person 'none of my previous [western] fandoms made such a big deal about it'#like bottomlockers and toplockers didn't have that whole feud
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
isn't it extremely fucked up how even though he says this was a joke right after this truly is the real words he would say to them if he was about to sacrifice himself to protect earth and humans to which we can infer also that 1 he's grateful for the knowingly limited amount of time he had with them and that he was able to be their friend (specifically fuyuki) so he is aware at the Very Least on a joking level that this is a chance which time will inevitably run out 2 he feels on some level guilt for his being a "freeloader" and living under their roof and obviously more in general getting them involved in the invasion stuff he can't walk out of, so in the back of his mind somehow he's trying to make up for and remedy this fact 3 most importantly, despite KNOWING that his position is fickle and he would've been required to choose sided eventually and lose all he has as he feared, he's not sacrificing himself by being platoon leader, because he also got to achieve happiness under this plan and within this platoon.
see, I say that because not too long ago I even discussed with friends that keroro was sacrificing some of his own happiness doing something he very extremely doesn't wanna do anymore (invasion) not only because he has to but also because it allows everyone around him to thrive in these conditions even if HE doesn't. they're all happy to be on earth, keroro is super lax with the way he treats them, barely scolds them for real or perceived mistakes
["you went a bit overboard" he says as he's literally dying buried in snow. great boss!]
(and when he does "scold", it's more average bickering what they do, and he doesn't come out on top a lot or anyways lacks that aura of respect you'd have to give any other military superior which allows for a more relaxed environment where they can thrive as themselves. you ever seen ofmd? think stede). and consistently ive seen so far that keroro is willing to put his life on the line for the mission and also step up when it comes to protecting his teammates specifically, but I think he's like, aware of what being a leader entails. and I know he does because he had this fuckin SPEECH ready to drop, joke or not!! like he pondered this stuff, he knows how he feels about the situation and... he concluded that he's happy the way things are. and that may be why it's so hard for him to commit to something and he's kinda stuck between sides, because it's not like keron bad earth good to him
he likes keron and he likes earth and while he's allowed to live in a way that allows him to betray neither, he's happy. that is his goal, so that makes sense. he's not without guilt and shame for his choices, but he's grateful they led him to where he is. a still moment in time where he can pretend he's on the right side on both parts.
I mean... IS that why he wants to be included with them as family so bad?
is that why it hurts when his teammates lose faith in his leader abilities?
could that be why he has semi-frequent (I would say...) breakdowns about the state of the mission despite not being motivated to do it, because this fickle balance he's created still hinges on it, let alone his reputation? HQ loves to remind him so. to tell him to hurry up.
it's all about enjoying the time you have with the people you love, and also give them a chance to find their own happiness in a way they couldn't have under normal keron rules. taking the brunt of everything that might go wrong for this.
but he's happy because they are, because he was able to achieve this, because he loves them, because he could at times believe they love him back, like he always wanted, I think, despite the circumstances that he's the reason for. it's a burdened happiness, hence why he also needs to apologize in the same breath, "for all the trouble he caused".
maybe in an ideal world there is no invasion, and he really could've gotten to be just that pleasant and cheerful freeloader alien, no guilt attached
but if that's the price to pay for having met the hinatas and having been able to give everyone in his platoon a second chance at a peaceful life, I believe that makes him happy. a peaceful life with the people he cares about, even if just for a while, and he's well aware of how fragile it is.
he really is often like "is the invasion all you can think about?" but then it's always weighing on his mind as well. it stings when that costs him the respect of his peers. it stings when that causes the hinatas to doubt him even when he's innocent.
but what choice does he have?
#keroro#musing#headcanon#BRINGS THE SAME 10 EXAMPLES UP OVER N OVER AGAIN AND CALLS THAT ANALYSIS#i just wanted to brain vomit all over the page and that i did#i love when blorbo from my show is so complex and tormented and traumatized he just like me fr#crazy!#the hinatas really offered him a lil piece of paradise in the form of a nice welcoming family and average comforts#and it BROKE him#OF COURSE HE'S GRATEFUL HE THINKS HE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS!!!!!!!#keroro group hug when. literally SUF tier . i want it. i need it actually. keroro group appreciation#ALL HE WANTS IS TO BE TOLD BY HIS COWORKERS SLASH FRIENDS AND THE HINATAS THAT HE DID A GOOD JOB. THSTS LITERALLY ALL HE WANTS#but when they do rarely tell him. he doesn't believe them. he believes he can do more
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
genuinely very interesting that so far the Paul and Emma trauma polls seem to be a toss-up between a horrible way to die and a horrible trauma they then had to live with
#theres people annoyed in the tags that hey melissa has a lot of worst trauma votes#but like lest we forget#he doesnt get to die after that#his brain breaks and this is his life now#the torture of infection on its own may be worse yeah and then he dies and its not him anymore#im just saying i can understand why some folks might think the weeklong captivity and torture that ends with receiving brain damage and-#trauma bonding with the captor and deciding to stay with her might be the worse option#'the story is horror its supposed to be scary!' people when um. when people are scared-#i get that one more than bird vomit having so many votes for emma#yeah that would absolutely suck but are we really voting for that one over what she went through in forever and always-#<< i think i phrased that option poorly actually it might be my fault#anyhoo. interesting results so far itll be neat to see if they change in the next week#cj says stuff
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
kind of entranced with bmc fics thatinvolve jeremy running away in some form (bc of the squip)
#my posts#idk i reallyyyy like the concept and i think itd be interesting cuz the squip really loses a lot of its limitations#complete sandbox environment.... maybe it doesnt make too much sense motivation wise#im not too picky about squip characterization or abilites cuz of the different versions of the show#as long as its evil (i dont like redemption stuff. soz) and it doesnt do some reality breaking physical shit#anddd ig trt squips only goal was to take over the world so it could work#ummmmm sorry im stalling bc i dont want to do something irl#who wants to read more brain vomit
1 note
·
View note
Text
Oh god I was listening to some bedroom pop and like soft indie stuff oh boy now I remember why I despise that genre
#just silly gal thoughts horhorhor#I think it’s like superr oversaturated but like the lyrics are fire#it’s just so understimulating listening to soft pop grrr#It isn’t bad#just really not my thing#I wonder if ADHD influences music taste…#maybe it makes sense… like#a bunch of people around me love chill pop and stuff but I cannot sit through a song#I need my ska#to survive#i wanna listen to some more music but holy fuck i cannot stand mellow songs i will vomit#im missing out so baddd i need to stop being such a big baby#short form content is rotting my brain so bad I need to stop
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i wish my brain would . stop. or at least slow down a bit
#the fey speaks#cant even finish one thought before i get interrupted by 5 more....#truthfully wonder if what was diagnosed as adhd when i was a kid was actually a combo of autism + mania#maybe not though. tbh. maybe i have a 'delightful' mix of all three.#but anyway i was saying that because i don't actually USUALLY have my own thoughts distract me from my own thoughts.#i'm pretty distractable via external stimuli but not so much internal . except for when i am manic.#and idk the thoughts interrupting thoughts things seems like an adhd experience. but like i could still have it and just not that symptom.#i am not even really thinkinga bout this to be clear. this is just word vomit#even if i wanted to consider 'whether or not i actually have adhd'#which i do not.#i am pretty sure under normal brain conditions i have never doubted it#so i am probably just like. seeing things wrong right now#sorry my brain shut whatever i was thinking about there down already i forgot where i was going#i think i was just gonna say i think it wouldn't be very fruitful TO consider it. consdiering im a bit impaired atm#probably not the right way to word that but whatever.#ACKTUALLY maybe i shouldn't even be manic posting in the first place?
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I lied i dont want the fucked up nightmares back leave me alone
#just vomited more than my weight and it looked like blood and tritured guts! and then i had a pimple on a finger and when i popped it#a tonge came out#im simplifing it man i really shoulnt have asjed for it. but the texture of the vomit was cool and maybe ill use it for art.#thanks brain!
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
my tumblr experience these days is like: open app. block another pornbot. make a vent post. get bored and forget to post anything else. close app
#it's either this or scrolling through the milgram fanart tag for 2 hours straight. no middle ground#maybe eventually i will post like normal again#i feel like i was funnier & more pleasant to be around when tumblr was my only social media last year#but it was also really isolating... like ALL my irls only use instagram to keep in touch#my current ig experience is nowhere near as nightmarish as it was on my old acc but i do sometimes think it rots my brain#idk. just word vomiting. i have to get ready for a final presentation now ok bye
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have this terrible hunger for a fanfic where things don’t go smoothly nor are okay immediately with this certain trope…
Everytime i read something with the trope of “Character A is dared to date character B as a cruel joke” the author ignores the internal turmoil and self doubt that things like that can cause to someone irl.
(Or when character A tries to settle for character B because character C doesn’t like them, so they go for B because C and them (B) are friends or are related by blood).
It creates really complex feelings for someone to go through something like that, and they (author) often just ignore it or make character B forgive character A within a couple of hours/days or months of the event, or ignores the dare completely because “otp” and because they NEED to be together.
Like i get that you want to make the endgame ship the characters that are in the prompt/premise, but… idk it feels rushed and unrealistic/poorly executed most times than not imho, and it creates a poor foundation of the relationship as a whole too if it will be more extensive than the apology/forgiveness arc. I think this trope doesn’t work in short format fics because of that.
I find more realistic when character B goes away, ignores (blocks if there is social media) character A and tries their best to get in a better headspace, sometimes having new romantic relationships too. And for character A to see the error on their ways, ditch the group of friends and do a 180 in their life. Change for the better, be more real to themselves and letting go of character B for a while.
Something like “they reunited after 5/10 years of the event and are totally different from their old selves” kinda way.
If character A is only for the plot and isn’t intended to be part of the endgame ship it can work too, making them change the course of their lives or on the contrary keep them being shitty people. And adding a character C that can have participated/was a bystander of the event or make them be a new person in character B’s life ( emotional support of character B after what they went through or make them just be someone new and better than character A)
#i feel this is confusing to read#but I didn’t want to give specific names or ships y-y#also I have read of this trope more than 8? times and everytime is the same outcome and i feel a tad bit disappointed#but mostly bc im used to read +50k words in fanfics#and i love ✨DRAMA✨#i refuse to write fanfics bc i struggle with dyslexia and bc i ramble a lot#fanfic prompt#? maybe#i said that I didn’t want to say specific ships HOwEvEr…#stucky#were Bucky is character A or C#im tired of people writing Steve being an asshole or making Bucky the poor sweet angel#they were both assholes and Bucky was a sweet talker who had more dates than money#idk im just saying#i have an outline for a fanfic like this but I refuse to write it#in a public place bc i really struggle with word vomit and dysfunctional roomba brain syndrome aka adhd#im in my writing headcanons and ideas era again and its kinda weird#because i dont use them!#im throwing them into the void basically#hopefully they find their way into someone and make themselves useful for that person
1 note
·
View note
Text
Ronnie can feel ill.
This man is immortal, everlasting, forever… and not human. He can't get sick like we can, but he can become incredibly unwell.
When that happens, his body starts shutting down and forcing him to rest, so the rest of the staff will find him draped over the front desk like some spindly cat thing. They're used to this happening, because they know Ronnie. They've been working with him on a daily basis for hell knows how long.
So one of them will be like: "Damn what's going on with the boss man?"
And another one of them will be like: "Oh, he just got sick."
And the first guy will be like: "Ah, man! Again? That's rough."
Because that's not a good thing when that happens, on account of The Alius-Mirage Hotel being alive and unfriendly.
(This has been edited to reflect this fictional hotel's new name, seeing as I found out the old one I was using belonged to an already existing hotel, and I didn't want to cause trouble in the long run. Plus... what they call this thing for short is kinda funny when you think about it.)
Ronnie's been working with this hotel longer than his staff have been, he's really the only one The AM listens to and trusts. He knows how to calm it down, especially if it starts putting any human guests in a lot more danger than they tend to put themselves in.
The AM doesn't like humans as much, if not more so than Ronnie does. But Ronnie treats them like mischievous cats he needs to keep at arm's length, to prevent from getting attached. He hates them for their antics. They're endearing, sure. But they're annoying, because that's how they keep getting in trouble.
And having to help them out carries the risk of caring for them, maybe even loving them. They're not the target audience for this hotel. They were never supposed to come here. They rarely ever come back, if at all. It's better to stay distant.
The AM, on the other hand, thinks of humans little more as vicious pests because of their antics. Always ignoring Ronnie's rules, not listening to him and getting themselves in trouble through exploring and getting in places they shouldn't!
They're not even supposed to be here! Why should she keep these little flimsy things safe? The AM will listen to Ronnie, but she'll still let humans know she hates them… and she finds there's a chance to squash these creatures? She'll take that chance, no matter how much it may upset Ronnie when she does.
Ronnie feeling some semblance of sick means that The AM has more of a chance to do what it pleases with these humans, right under his nose. Without his input, or ability to talk it out of such a thing… well. These humans are in more danger than they would've been without him.
Basically, this ugly ass man can't keep these dumbass fleshbags safe because he's passed out on the floor, and this freaky living hotel is giving said fleshbags a massive "fuck you" by pulling an AM.
#the alius-mirage hotel#the alius-mirage hotel ronnie#ronnie the alius-mirage hotel#that last part's funny because one of ronnie's voice claims is AM from the game version of ''i have no mouth and i must scream''#yeah apparently reading that recently was my downfall. fascinating character. weird as all hell. i am intrigued#either way yeah. I love the am and ronnie's dynamic so far#both of them are petty as shit but at least ronnie has the capacity to love more so than the am does#like that can be explored a bit. this living hotel's like ''ew what the fuck? get terrorized and killed lol''#and this immortal humanoid with no brows is like ''hey don't do that'' and has to keep humans safe somehow#because there is no way the staff is cleaning whatever mess the hotel turns them into#meanwhile all of the humans that find their way here have no common sense and are like ''hey what's that'' and get in trouble#anyway. those are my thoughts#character thoughts#zeisty king's brain vomits#original characters#original story#original concept#I am SO turning this into a blog now at some point#also ronnie's other voice claim is wallace breen#yeah I imagine ron's a rambler and for some reason both voices fit#the alius-mirage hotel was originally called ''the mirage hotel'' until I found out there is a real one with that name in vegas#even though it turns out the real mirage's been rebranded at some point#I wanna be careful. so her name is ''the alius-mirage hotel'' now#plus I get to call her ''the am''#which is ALSO REALLY FUNNY BECAUSE I COMPARED HER TO AM
1 note
·
View note
Text
thinking about how im literally on like. the 8th draft of my novel, but i've still never actually come up with a full, beginning-to-end readable draft without bits missing or repeated scenes or entire chapters in the wrong order
lol
#why the fuck is this how my brain works#i fucking WISH i was one of those people who like. has all their writing beautifully organized in neat little folders#i mean like. in a way i do. i have most of my fics organized by fandom and ship and whether they're in-universe or AU#and then you open the doc and it's just a fucking horrorshow of scenes. most of them are half-finished. none of them are in order#when i need to find a specific scene i literally just think of a word or phrase i used in that scene and CTRL+F it#if nothing shows up after i've tried two or three combinations then i start searching through my notes app to see if i wrote it on my phone#then if i STILL can't find it i look in my emails in case i wrote it at work on the sly and saved it as an email draft#and then if i still can't find it after that i'll have to conclude that i must've written it in my head and forgotten to write it down#the masterdoc for dndb is a fucking MESS. it's even more confusing than the fic itself#cos im so paranoid about losing drafts that every time i rewrite a scene for the 3928283th time#i copy it into the doc AGAIN. so the current word count is 80k but half of it is just me neurotically redrafting the same 3 sentences#i let my friend start reading the garbage draft of my novel and she was like “im so sorry i can't read this it's fucking incomprehensible”#and then she gently pointed out that i'd used the same joke in 3 consecutive chapters and forgotten about it every time....#anyways i have a few chapters that are taking really nice shape but i just KNOW i'll get to a point where i turn the page and suddenly#there'll be another absolutely unhinged mess of tangled word-vomit for me to wrestle into something coherent...
1 note
·
View note
Text
common myths about migraines (AKA if you get headaches regularly, please seek treatment for migraines)
"i don't have migraines because while i get them several times a week, it's only when i am hungry or dehydrated."
those are probably migraines. thirst, hunger, sleep disturbances, or any disruption to routine are common migraine triggers.
"my headaches are specifically barometric related, i get them when the weather/altitude changes."
those are probably migraines. barometric pressure is a common migraine trigger.
"i get headaches all the time but ibuprofen gets rid of them so they can't be migraines."
that's not true. ibuprofen works great at relieving migraine pain for many people.
"my consistent headaches are tension headaches. i feel them originate in my neck/shoulders."
those are probably migraines. muscle tension is a common migraine trigger.
if you are regularly getting headaches (once a week or more), you are likely getting migraines. in fact, a good rule of thumb if you're consistently getting headaches is to treat them as migraines until you can rule out migraines. that's how common "chronic headache = migraine" actually is.
migraines are a neurological disorder wherein pain is one symptom. pain is often the MAIN symptom, and the most noticeable symptom, which can make diagnosis tricky. other symptoms of migraine include:
fatigue
nausea/vomiting
digestive issues
visual disturbances (auras)
sensitivity to light and/or sound
mood changes
brain fog/cognitive changes
ringing in the ears
dizziness/vertigo
numbness/weakness on one side of the body
this list is NOT complete, but is a starting point. i really like the comparison to a hangover. if you generally feel hungover when you get a headache (without having consumed alcohol), that's a classic migraine presentation.
so many people suffer from migraine and don't even know it, so they aren't able to advocate for themselves to get treatment. there are great new migraine treatments on the market! if you're able, please seek treatment for your migraines. a better quality of life is possible.
18K notes
·
View notes
Text
While I have a migraine on Christmas Eve let’s talk about other aspects of migraines besides the pain that comes in waves because for me and many others the pain isn’t the worst symptom of migraines.
Migraines may include:
Feeling tired
Your brain feeling like mush
Getting a stuffy/runny nose (why many people think they get sinus headaches when really they are getting migraines)
Before a migraine, hallucinating smells
Nausea
Vomiting
Feeling tired and full of brain fog the next day
Muscle pain in your neck and back
Dull uncomfortable pressure rather than pain
Distorted vision/general sensitivity to light
Sensitivity to sound
Irritability
Scalp tenderness
Lightheadedness/dizziness
And more!
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
Little idea wiggling about in my brain...
So like *holds Danny and Billy up by the scruff of their shirts* these two bastards won't leave my brain, and for punishment I will make them kiss...
Just, the Rock of eternity technically is Shazam's (the wizards) haunt? He has been dead for a long time, living only though his champion, what if Ghost King Danny gets slapped with a post it note that reads like
"Daniel, you're required to assist the Champion of Magic as the High King of the Realms, even Pariah helped the previous Champion Black Adam."
And Danny is like, "Sure, why not, Magic is real and so are ghosts."
And like....
Sparky Danny meeting Literal Sun Beam Billy, they are both 14, it's puppy love at its finest. Danny doesn't know what to do with gay panic and Billy is just straight up "This man is my soul mate, he shall be mine." (Call iy Zeus bestowing more than just lightning)
The leauge is very concerned why Captain Marvel seems to have a seeming underage partner.
Superman squinting very hard and trying to figure this out: So...just how old is Phantom?
Billy, unaware how bad this looks: Oh I don't know honestly, it's kinda hard to tell with beings from the Realms! Though he died when he was 14!
Superman, gripping the table (which cracks a little) :And how exactly long has he been 14?
Billy, taking out his phone and flipping out pictures: Like I said, I don't really know how old he is, but there is Egyptain hieroglyphics of him! Look!
Superman, blinking at the very real looking pictures: Ahh. Fun cool cool cool...a-and how are you again Cap?
Billy mindlessly swiping the photos, excited to show off his boyfriend:Never said it, but he is definitely older than I am.
(Danny is older by a month, Billy calls him an old man for it.)
Billy gets to live full time in Danny's haunt in the Zone, Danny built him like the best house, Tucker and Sam get to meet Billy and they just are flabbergasted that Danny "I can't get a girl to date me or else she ends up wanting to kill me" Fenton has a boyfriend that has been going steady for a few months.
My brain sees like, Maddie and Jack are 100% backing Danny, they are fully supportive of their bi/gay/pan son, but in no way would they support him if he was a ghost, like they are organizing Amitys first ever Pride parade, but there is a shoot ghosts on sight order.
And just the reveal is like...
Danny gets finally tells them he is a ghost: if you start shooting me, your shooting the only Gay person you know, not very ally of you mom and Dad.
Maddie mouth open in horror: Oh no...Jack are...are we homophobic?
Jack sharing her look of fear: Great Scott...Dann-o a-are you sure...its...it's a life style right? Y-you chose this?
Danny, trying very, very hard not to laugh: It's not a life style dad! I didn't choose to Die!
Anyway, thank you for coming to my brain word vomit, I haven't slept in 20 hours.
#dc x dp#dpxdc#danny phantom#danny is a little shit#ghost king danny#billy batson#shazam#captain marvel#hiding this in the tags#but...Black Adam/Praiah Dark anyone?#i can see it#i am so tired#god let me sleep
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
18+ Sometimes I get an idea in my head and you'll hear 10 versions of the same thing, word for word, I swear (iykyk). I'm sorry. Just a little in coming fluff, angst and smuttt. We're giving him the ending he always deserved. This is a mess of my brain vomit.
Sergeant Barnes who can't help the crush he has on the sweet nurse stationed at his camp, always finding ways to talk to her, even if it means interrupting her in the middle of the way, wagging his finger around the tent because he has a dire papercut.
She'll patch him up every single time with a shake of her head, telling him to be more careful and he'll say yes mam, just to be back in the same cot the next day like clockwork.
Sergeant Barnes who walks her to her quarters every evening and bids her goodnight with a tip of his hat, always a gentleman. He never misses an opportunity to hold the door open, fetch extra supplies, grinning all while she tells him to get back to his work, worried he'll get in trouble for always helping her.
Sergeant Barnes who has a flirty little mouth on him, never missing a moment to tell her how lovely she looks. She dismisses everything he says, after all there's no way he could see her that way when she's sweating, covered in grime and blood aftering bandaging up different men.
Sergeant Barnes who wonders if she feel the same way when catches a tear roll down her cheek the first time she has to sew his injures. Her hands work quick and steadily keeping a straight face until the last dressing is placed across his abdomen. He's seen her do the same thing to plenty of others, sending them on their way right after but not him. She checked over him again and then once more, insisting he rest for an additional night before he was off again.
Sergeant Barnes who didn't realize it would get this far. He only intended to kiss her, he really did but the surprised little whine she let out was too much. How could he left her go when he hands clutched onto his uniform tighter, lips parted, letting his tongue lace with hers.
He made love to her that night.
Sergeant Barnes who took his time touching every bit of her body with softness, laying her in bed and covering her with the sheet when she shyly looked away. He didn't need much more than that, happy to feel her bare skin on his while he felt her lips flutter against his neck, he may as well have died and gone to heaven.
Sergeant Barnes who doesn't rush a thing while he pumps his cock, letting his swollen head rub though her slit while letting her know much he adores her. How perfect she already is. She whispers a please in his ear and he starts to push himself inside, his length already throbbing with need.
"I know angel, I know" He coos at the gasp she lets out, his hand coming up to caress her cheek, his thumb stroking her skin. "S'just me doll, s'just me you're feeling"
He stretches her slowly, after all his sweet angel has never felt anyone else. Her face hides in his neck, panting as he fully sheaths himself, cuddling her body, rubbing her back.
"S-so big, Sergeant" is the best she can get out and he has to force himself to not cum on the spot. He starts to move, holding her tighter because he didn't expect to struggle this much.
"I love you" He rasps out, it's all he can say without running his mouth, spewing all the things that were in his head. He really can't take it. His mind is working faster than he can comprehend. There were a thousand sweet things but that wasn't the issue. He bit his tongue from confessing she caused all his wet dreams, making him feel like a teenager all over again. That her pussy was so tight, he was leaking in her. That it felt too good, he felt like a virgin too, his cock was so sensitive like never before, fuck, she had to unlock her ankles that were wrapped around his waist-
"M'close" He pants, eyes locked with hers hoping she understands- "M'gonna cum, I-fuck, i'm cu-mph" His eyes grow wide in surprise when she tugs his dog tags and pulls him down for a kiss, her legs still wrapped around him, every bit of his cum filling her up.
"I love you too" she nuzzles her nose with his, relaxing in his hold as they drift off to sleep.
He holds her extra tight that night.
There was a war happening and tomorrow wasn't always promised.
Especially not when he had an assignment the next day.
-
Sergeant Barnes who dragged himself through hell and back, limping half sewn up with that cute little blush on his face cause he can't wait to see her again after months of nearly dying, losing men, the only thing that kept him going was getting to see-
Where was she?
"Has anyone seen Nurse y/l/n?" He frowned when the other nurses shook their heads as he searched, his worry increasing when he finds her things gone. He nearly sends off a search party until a close friend of hers quietly gives him an address. She says very little, only sending him off with a wink and a good luck.
He's utterly baffled when he sees the address is that of his own? Surely there was a mistake. That doesn't mean he'll waste anytime. The war was over anyway, injuries be damned, he's moving as fast as he can.
He sets off home, knocking on the door, his can't wait to find her again and he's missed his family soo much-
"Jamie!!" His sister throws her arms around his neck and he stumbles back, hugging her tightly, "Mama, Jamie's home!!" He doesn't let go of her as his mother runs to him from the kitchen, tears already streaming down her face.
"Sweet boy" She takes his face in her hands, looking him up and down. Her baby boy is back in one piece and that's all that matters.
Well, sort of.
"I missed you ma-ow!"
"I raised you better, you worried those poor angels to bits"
Angels?
He isn't given a chance to ask anything when she gives him a wack with a rolled newspaper, ushering him to go to his room, slipping something into his pocket before sending him off.
Sergeant Barnes who can't believe his eyes when he sees her again. Her pretty face. Same perfect eyes. Perfect nose. Perfect lips. All of it turns blurry from unshed tears because the only thing that was different now was a very round baby bump.
"Y'came back" Her voice melts into a sob seeing him standing at the doorway.
"I missed ya" He whispers against her hairline, kissing her repeatedly, his hands cradling her rounded belly, his little baby kicking against his touch. "M'so sorry angel, wish I was here-
"You're here now" she sniffled, inhaling his scent after waiting for him to come back, not knowing if he was hurt or alive, the thought breaking her heart. "We waited"
"Daddy's here" He kisses her tummy, holding her extra close again after months of waiting. Dreaming. Hoping.
He asks her to marry him. His ma wouldn't give him her wedding ring for just anyone.
A baby boy. 2 years later, a little girl. She asks for a kitten. They name her Alpine. Another little boy 3 years later.
Perfect.
#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes fanfiction#40s bucky#40's bucky#40s bucky barnes#40s bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fan fic#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes angst#bucky fluff#bucky fan fic#bucky fan fiction#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes x fanfic#bucky barnes smut#marvel smut#marvel#marvel fic#marvel fanfic#marvel fanfiction#avengers fluff
1K notes
·
View notes