#yeah that would absolutely suck but are we really voting for that one over what she went through in forever and always-

[fencecollapsed]

genuinely very interesting that so far the Paul and Emma trauma polls seem to be a toss-up between a horrible way to die and a horrible trauma they then had to live with

[qqueenofhades]

Leaving aside possible reversals, disasters, doom & gloom, can we take a moment to savor the Trump meltdown over Harris/Walz and the momentum that makes a possible blue tsunami seem an entirely plausible outcome? I'd love to give you the space to ramble about it if you'd like, as my current fandom at least for the moment has shifted back to US politics (but not, for the first time in a while, to doom scrolling politics!).

Aha, I feel as I have probably already said most of my current thoughts, but here are a few things that really make me desire a heaping helping of butt-whooping blue wave in November:

The state that has had the most volunteer sign-ups since Harris took over the ticket? Fucking Florida, with over 18,000. The Villages, formerly a hotbed of Trump support (and y'know, probably still is), also had a major pro-Kamala event, and she is allegedly up 15 points in Miami-Dade (after Biden won the county by 7% and lost the state only by 3%). Now, we all know that Obama won Florida twice, but it has become such a symbol of retrograde Trumpian/DeSantisian politics that winning there would be literally seismic. I'm not going so far as saying that it's in PLAY play, but let's just hold onto that happy, happy idea.

Likewise the poll I mentioned the other day, where Trump is struggling to break 50% in Ohio, once a swing state and now also reliably red. The fact that this is Vance's home state and he's dragging the ticket down every single time he opens his mouth, thus offering the smallest sliver of hope that Ohio (which DID legalize abortion and weed by major margins last year) could also go blue? Incredible. Amazing. Showstopping.

Harris is also tied with Trump (46%-46%) in North Carolina and there is a lot of chatter about how the terrible GOP governor candidate could give a boost to Democratic turnout statewide.

The Mormons have apparently announced their intention to abandon (or at least support much less than they usually do) the Republican presidential ticket in 2024. Remember when Obama won Indiana in 2008? In my wildest dreams, I imagine Utah going blue in 2024. It won't but shh.

Basically, where we were braced for another agonizing nail-biting grind-it-out three-day election determined by a few thousand votes in key states (because etc etc the Electoral College sucks) we are now looking at the very real possibility that Harris wins at least one state, and possibly more, that Biden didn't, and which have been seen as out of reach for Democrats since Trump came on the scene. I don't think I need to counsel anyone against complacency, because we're all too damn scared for that, but yeah. Polls, even the good-looking ones that we like, don't vote. They are still skewed and subjective and do not represent the actual reality, whatever that may end up being. The Republicans and the media will be trying their absolute goddamnfuckingest to ratfuck us again in the 80-something days that remain, but:

WE CAN DO THIS, WE WILL DO THIS, WE MUST DO THIS.

WHAT IS THIS.... JOY SCROLLING? FOR AMERICAN POLITICS? IN THE YEAR 2024 WITH DONALD TRUMP ON THE TICKET FOR THE FUCKING THIRD TIME?

UNPOSSIBLE.

[kaija-rayne-author]

I guess the discourse today is about Astarion being the favourite poster boy of the devs to the detriment of the other characters.

Yes. That's unequivocally true. Wyll having so little compared to Astarion is also an example of racism.

It's also capitalism. Larian can't make more games unless BG3 does well. So far it has, so in their choice of poster boy they chose correctly.

Every business, especially entertainment ones, follows a similar model. Develop stories or games that the previous game helped fund. It's common in book publishing too.

(Which, tbf, is my realm of knowledge, but the business facts are the same.)

What you, if you're indie, or the publisher, if not, chooses to spend time on is the thing/character/aspect/story that will sell the most copies so they can stay in business.

They bet on Astarion being popular because:

1. Vampire, vampire stories don't seem to get old. People want more.

2. White hair, if you're at all into gaming or anime, you should recognize the white-haired anime boy coding Astarion has.

3. He's pretty. In games & books like these, people want to get turned on or be sucked into emotions, that's rather the point. So, of course, they made him pretty and gave him an angsty backstory about it. Have you noticed that his vampire fangs are the more traditional style and the rest have funky (and likely more efficient) chompers with the fangs on the front teeth?

4. Twink, you'd have to be really not paying attention to not notice that one. They tend to be attractive to the largest section of players.

6. Slow burn, a lot of people prefer slow burn romance.

7. Classically handsome. You could turn him into a statue (and can!) and he wouldn't look out of place.

I don't experience this type of point form character building, my characters tend to march fully formed into my head and demand I write them.

But Astarion was built as a fictional character that would (hopefully) capture a broad cross-section of players and give the game some more sex appeal.

Sex sells.

I'd lay money I don't have on every aspect of Astarion's character having been a deliberate choice to encourage sales.

And that's fine. That's what capitalism does. Don't like it? Start voting for social support programs and things like ubi so that people can create without worrying about the bills.

Is it fair to the other characters and to the gamers who love other characters more than Astarion? Absolutely not. I do hope Larian gets the message and produces more content to make them all equivocal.

Especially for Wyll, they did him so dirty.

Is Wyll having the least lines and scenes racist? Yup.

Larian, despite their faults, produced something that so few games companies have done recently. A single purchase, single player RPG without micro-transactions that was an excellent game straight from release.

Other games companies are bitching about that because it's like sand in the oyster of their business models.

Which, for a while now, has been to roll out a game that wasn't ready yet and use the players as unpaid, uncompensated labour to find bugs etc. As a gamer, I've really hated that.

Did Larian fuck up? Uh, yeah. On several issues. But they also made an amazing game that was awesome from release.

It would be a shame to lose sight of that.

It's important to call out the shite when we see it, but the current 'it has to be perfect for me, or I won't play' attitude rampant on the 'net these days is disturbing to say the least.

I've read Larian has a feedback thing on fridays. If this really bothers you, hustle on over and participate in the feedback session.

They're still actively working on the game. They can still make changes and they seem reasonably responsive to fan feedback.

But just remember... the reason Astarion is the poster boy with the most content is because of capitalism. It was likely a cold, business focused decision vs anything else.

Which doesn't make it better. I just figured inserting a bit of entertainment business knowledge might be helpful to the discussion.

[td-frog]

thoughts on dcas e10 (yes i know it came out 2 weeks ago)

merge

i stand by what i said last week- i think it would have made more sense to have one more challenge first. merge now gave the villains such a clear advantage.

that said, my theory was one villain gets cut and the drama becomes "the heroes all have to work together to win" and that did happen, it was just "to tie" instead.

mainly feels weird because i know the writers control everything but in-universe the decision to merge seems hugely biased in favor of the villains.

aiden and jake

this conflict is really funny to me because it really makes no sense. or at least not originally. so at this point the beef is really just they've been beefing so long they can't fix it.

(ultimately this is why the whole thing is tom's fault. if they'd addressed it earlier it could've been fixed, but he literally waited until the last possible second to try)

absolutely makes sense for the villains to use this to vote out ashley, since it's the only way she was losing. tdi bridgette "voted out for being liked too much" move.

jake and ally

honestly, i'm not sure how i feel about this one. the beef feels a bit more manufactured somehow, and unlike the beef with aiden it doesn't feel like it's been building long enough for them to not be able to put aside their differences.

also i'm disappointed we didn't get much of anything about ally re: tess leaving. i was really expecting something big there, especially with the whole thing about her being more okay with hunter gone than she'd thought. instead they just brought up hunter again?

idk i think this part fell flat to me. i think them continuing to fight doesn't really feel natural. but maybe we'll get more ally next time.

yulgrett

y'know i've seen a lot of people complain about the jake vs. aiden plot being way too drawn out, but for me that's shitty boyfriend yul.

i get that leaving abusive relationships is hard. and i get that grett doesn't want to accept that the guy she thought loved her is an asshole. but also every other villain is on record saying "that guy's such a shitty boyfriend and we hate him for it" and nothing ever happens?

like i'm not mad from an in-universe standpoint, because it does make sense why they'd keep him around for alliance purposes. but it's really frustrating as a viewer to have the show keep going "look how awful this guy is! he sucks! everyone knows he sucks! no consequences tho :)"

like i'm sure it's gonna be really cathartic when grett finally sticks up to him or whatever, and i'm guessing this is gonna be the spark of internal conflict that blows up the villain team and makes the competition viable again but like. it's not fun to watch?

predictions

i mean so based on the trailer it looks like the eliminated contestants come back and everyone gets a buddy. in which case i do get why they merged at 10 instead of 9, but i still don't love it.

i thought emily getting caught might affect yul literally at all but it looks like instead that's just motivating trevek plot which. fine.

obviously the main conflict here is villains vs. others, which is now a 5v4. so unless something changes with immunity or voting or whatever, i think the villain team internal conflict needs to finally happen (please please please).

i'm so looking forward to alec and fiore. i don't care what else happens i love them.

other than that i am hoping to finally get that tess/ally thing i was hoping for. the fact that (i think?) they're working together over hunter and ally is promising.

idk what else to expect at this point. i think it'd be really funny if jake and aiden manage to be friends all of a sudden now that their beef has had consequences. also curious how ellie returning affects gabby's villain arc.

yeah most of my thoughts are based around the trailer. i think post-merge it's harder to predict. or maybe this episode was just Not For Me.

[moldsporr]

Okay so I think this is how my voting is going to go next Trial? Unless huge stuff is revealed/happens

Haruka - Innocent

Haruka's expressed that he regrets what he did and feels horrible about it- he knows what he did was bad, and he wants to be better. He just needs the proper environment to heal.

Yuno - Innocent

She did nothing wrong. Like unless they suddenly decide she did infanticide instead of abortion, there's absolutely no question about it that she doesn't deserve to be in Milgram?? Sorry Yuno I don't see you as a innocent girl who can't do anything wrong, you just. Did not do anything wrong here.

Fuuta - Innocent

Now that he's realized that, yeah, doxxing people and witch hunting them is wrong and hurts people, I don't think he'd do it again. I mean, in trial 1 I think he was already sorta horrified by what happened, but trying not to claim responsibility- because that's a horrid thing to think about. "My actions killed someone." That's scary. But he's accepted it, and I think he's going to work on himself and be better.

Muu - Innocent

I know she was an asshole and bullied others. However, I'm a firm believer that NOBODY deserves to be bullied. I think everybody in the situation just majory sucked ass. And she's clearly horrified by what she did, she's just putting on different personas to cope with it. Get this girl some therapy.

Shido - Guilty

So, from my understanding, Shido convinced families that their loved ones were beyond saving, and then he killed them and harvested their organs? Very shitty to me. Once the trials are over I really don't think this guy will remain innocent. I know he was very suicidal in the beginning, but it read more to me that he was upset what he was doing didn't work out- that his wife is dead anyways. Idk.

Mahiru - Guilty

100% Guilty. I really can't understand Mahiru Inno Voters- Mahiru is an incredibly selfish and self-centered person, and it killed her lover. In trial 1 she's just singing about her needs in a relationship, about how she knows how to love better than her partner did. In trial 2 there is quite literally a line that goes "my emotions are out of control? I don't care!" Mahiru WILL hurt others and refuse to change herself over and over again. She doesn't even seem remorseful about her dead boyfriend. Like. She lowkey flirts with Es upon meeting them. Mahiru is just looking for someone else to hurt. She doesn't seem to understand that it isn't wrong to want to love and to be loved, but what's wrong is ignoring your partners needs for your own and making every part of the relationship about you. Also, I think she may have forced herself on him based on that scene where she does grabby hands and pounces, making the feathers scatter everywhere (like its what broke her boyfriend).

Kazui - Innocent

Kazui tried, he tried so hard to love his wife the "correct" way. Whether he's gay or alloaro, Kazui DID care about his wife and didn't want to hurt her. He couldn't keep lying to her and himself anymore. But the truth killed her, and Kazui feels so fricken?? Awful over it??? They were work friends before they got together, he clearly liked her. Just not romantically. He's struggling between whether lying eternally is the better choice, or if being truthful to himself and everyone else is the better choice. The truth killed his wife, but the lies were slowly killing him. Idk man, I've been in the same situation (nobody died though) and it's so hard to tell the truth about your identity.

Amane - Guilty(?)

Purge March is gonna help me decide, I think. I don't think Amane should've been voted guilty last trial- it, uh, clearly didn't have the affect we wanted it to have. But also, she's so far gone in her cult's beliefs that... I don't think either vote will shake that. I love Amane, she's a wonderful character, but Milgram won't help her. She would need YEARS of therapy and a safe, stable environment, and patient people, to help her heal. A Guilty vote won't help her. An Innocent vote won't help her. So Purge March is just gonna help me decide what to vote- because I highly doubt we can get EVERYONE in the community to refrain from voting. I'm leaning towards Guilty, though.

Mikoto - Guilty(?)

Okay this depends on who actually committed the crime. I believe that Mikoto himself did it, and his alters are trying to protect him and take the blame for the crime. In that case, my boy is guilty (sorry Mikoto). But if Milgram goes the "killer alter" route, then he's innocent. You can't really control what your alters do, yk? I might vote him innocent depending on the circumstances of his crime, too- it all depends. I'm hoping Double sheds more light on what's going on with my guy. (Btw he's my favorite character I'm so pumped to see what happens)

Kotoko - Guilty

I'm gonna be transparent here, i dont know Kotoko's character very well. So keep that in mind. Anyways. Her first trial song was very cool and its great she stopped a predator. I am not disagreeing with that. I do recognize that she probably felt forced to take on this vigilante role- that the law failed her and many others. However... we don't know who exactly she sees as "guilty". Obviously, she sees the prisoners voted "guilty" as guilty, but what about outside of Milgram? Does she just punish those breaking the law? Those she personally disagrees with? I think it's dangerous for her to do that. I think she's Guilty currently, but I'll have to see how her song goes- it may give me more insight on her thoughts and ideals.

[multiplicity-positivity]

hello! do you perhaps have any advice, or know of any resources for situations where the collective cannot agree on important decisions? like, say, some have come to absolutely hate a friend and want to cut off contact, some are still attached and would be very sad and griefing if the friendship is lost, some is thinking of compromising where only the ones who want to talk to that friend would do so (but will not work bc the ones who hate this person would still be exposed to them anyway bc of shared memory, when the healthiest thing to do for them is walk away. which also cannot work bc it will devastate the ones who want to stay friends with said person)

Hiya! Woof, our system really struggles with this ourselves! >_< and I don’t think we’re gonna have an easy, straightforward answer for you! We’re really sorry!! T_T But we can still try to share some stuff that our own system is working on when it comes to making decisions, if that’s okay!

Okay, so first off, communicate! >w<

It’s really important to keep up an open dialogue and communicate with each other, especially when it comes to making big decisions! If someone wants to do something, ask them why! And do the same for the headmates who don’t want to do something! And like, try not to make fun of, belittle, or lash out at headmates for being vulnerable and sharing their reasons for having a certain opinion! Not every headmate will think the same way or want the same things! So just talking to each other and trying to get everyone’s opinions can at least help y’all all get on the same page :33

Next, maybe try taking a vote!

Um, if the vast majority of the headmates in your system want something, and only a couple don’t maybe it would be worth it to do it anyway! But at the same time, keep in mind the feelings of the headmates who aren’t getting what they want or whose votes are being overruled. Maybe try explaining to them why the system as a collective is going to be making this choice in particular, and why those who voted for it believe it is the best choice!

But the biggest thing (at least for our sys!) is…

Compromising!!!

Making compromises is essential for every system. Yeah it sucks that not all headmates can always make their own choices or get what they want all the time, but compromising is a great way to help everyone feel seen, acknowledged, and find a path that more or less works for everyone! >w<

Okay, so let’s try and use your example (but keep in mind we don’t know you personally or your history, so please don’t take our potential compromise as the only solution here!)

You brought up a good compromise by saying that only the headmates who want to be in touch with this friend could do so, though it would impact the headmate who doesn’t want to be in touch because of shared memories. To further this compromise, maybe you could help this headmate access tools for proper emotional regulation and learning how to sit with, accept, and come to terms with painful memories and negative emotions. Everyone will form bad memories or experience bad emotions at some point or another in their lives! >_<” But equipping this headmate with the tools to manage their emotions in healthy ways might make it easier to live with the memories of other headmates interacting with this friend.

It’s impossible for anyone to live their whole lives without ever having to make a compromise… but for systems, we headmates may find that learning how to compromise is way more important than it is for singlets!!

I’ll be honest, many members of our system love wikihow and we (Ralsei and Margo) have personally gotten a lot of use out of wikihow over the years! We’re including a link to a wikihow article on compromising - maybe y’all could find some use in it!

Also, if your system is in therapy, this would be a perfect subject to talk through with your therapist! They might have some good ideas or suggestions tailored to your system’s needs specifically, and could probably help y’all in ways that we won’t be able to!! >w<

Good luck to y’all though with figuring this out!! Gosh, we know that trying to make group decisions is not easy, especially when it comes to big things that headmates have opposing views on. We really hope though that y’all will be able to find ways to communicate and compromise in the future!! :33

[terraliensvent]

Things Tycho needs to implement for the mod apps:

Please hire fucking adults. Not 19 year olds, please hire some people that are over 21 and have more developed brains. Preferably 25 and up.

Heavily restrict the ability to make mod customs. I know that a LOT of people only want to be staff to be able to make customs, and this isn't a good thing to be able to do right off the bat since Tycho needs mods who want to work, not make money making designs. I think mod customs should not be allowed for at least 6 months AFTER mod trial is over. Work on the species, that's what you were hired to do, not make customs. If you want to make and sell designs, apply to be a GA, not staff.

Mod myos. There's too many mod lim myos floating around and these should not be tradeable. If mods get myos as payment every month, they should get two options. Lim myo, not tradeable. Modified myo, tradeable. They get to choose just one.

Also I think Tycho needs to go through the shambling remains of the staff and get rid of loose ends, like Kea. Kea does absolutely fucking nothing for the species except occasionally vote on staff matters and do transfers, which literally any other staff member can do. All she does is ignore trade offers for her obvious trades that totally aren't entertaining offers, which aren't even allowed btw, and she'll talk about opening up customs to get people to throw themselves at her for her art. She needs to be removed as a staff member and made a GA, since that's what she's best at. Plus she's just conveniently taking a break and ignoring all the work that needs to be done and making Tycho and the other few mods do everything themselves. If Kea can't be a functioning staff member in this moment when we really need them, why do we need her at all? Karma, too. Why are you guys taking a break and making everyone else do all the hard work so you can just come back when it's all over and reap the benefits? You guys suck. Either step up and do your job or quit.

i agree with everything you said here anon

on your first point, it def goes back to the maturity thing for me because, while previous mods and the owners are “adults,” 18 and 19 is still pretty immature (and you can really tell based off of the controversies that have happened just within a year)

on the second, i really think terras should make more use of the “official artist” role. i agree that a lot of mods seem to just sit on their ass and make customs/adopts, which, if you want to just do art then say that!! dont present it like youre gonna actually moderate if ur just pumping out adopts, thats why theres the official artist role

for the third point, i actually think tycho does have plans to mitigate the myo situation (you can see that in the conversation i had with him here), so i think theres gonna be some progress there

on your last point, i agree as well; i think kea especially is one of the people who would benefit from being an official artist instead. she has the admin role but ive literally never seen her be an administrator of anything. doing approvals is something that really anyone can do, and the main thing ive ever seen from kea is customs and adopts. i dont think ive really ever seen her answer questions or design help, and as far as events go the only one shes been visibly a part of is the birthday one that just happened (and honestly if i didnt just go and check right now i would have totally forgotten shes an ADMIN, not just a regular mod)

i think delegation of staff and staff responsibilities is a big thing that needs fixing, since its been an issue basically forever in this species. design and prompts take forever to approve, but when its ever suggested to get more mods it was always “we have enough!” yeah, you have an overabundance of mods that just wanna make fucking adopts and nothing else. just make them official artists and have the mod role for people that can actually work.

[stephenjaymorrisblog]

America is Republic, not a Theocracy.

Part 2

Stephen Jay Morris

9/29/2023

© Scientific Morality.

For some time, I was aspiring writer. I wrote fictional stories. One was called, “The Flag and the Cross 2084.” It was a futuristic story about America conquering all countries on earth. America was this gigantic empire under which the residents of all countries had to learn English or be killed. They were also required to believe in fundamentalist Christianity or be killed. White Anglo Saxion Protestants were privileged citizens. Government was replaced by a corporate board of directors to run the planet. Only Aryan men were allowed to vote and only White men were permitted to be rich. It had an intergalactic space force called “God’s Aryan Warriors,” which mission was to conquer the universe by space invasions. It was revealed that so called UFOs were advance mode flying saucers, spying on all citizens.

The Christian Church of America oversaw law and order. In 2054, the Constitution was abolished and was replaced by the King James Bible as the official constitution of the planet. All other religions were abolished. Jews were forced to denounce their religion and accept Jesus as their lord and savior. If not, they were put into human sized, microwave ovens. White Women had to become baby producing machine for the Aryan race. In 2070, women lost their right to vote and were not permitted to be in the work force. They were relegated to being homemakers. In 2080, 40 million LBGTQ+ people died in Christian death camps. And yes, there were flying cars! Oh, I almost forgot: all citizens’ brains were injected with microchips that showed authorities their whereabouts at all times.  Pretty apocalyptic totalitarian future, yes? One more thing about this futuristic nightmare: only married people were allowed to have sex. If you were caught, you were put in Jesus camps, otherwise known as prisons. And yes, masturbation was illegal.

Times have changed and history has made a liar out of me--thankfully. Someday I will do a third rewrite of my manuscript.

Back to the past of 2023. What is interesting about my story is that all Islamic theocracies were destroyed and replaced with Christian theocracies. Now I ask you? What’s the difference between Islamic theocracy and Christian theocracy? Answer: Most Christians are White. However, it doesn’t matter which religion controls a country. In any case, it is an authoritarian nightmare. If America became a theocracy, people would be swimming to Communist Cuba to become American exiles! Is Iran worse than North Korea? Not really. Left wing authoritarianism and Right wing totalitarianism both suck! That is the problem with absolutism: you are either against the Left or against the Right. If you believe in black and white vision, then you will never see a rainbow. That is why the religious Right hates rainbows; they see everything in black and white!

Some think that…I mean, “feel,” that a Chistian nation would be this Pollyanna society, wherein everybody is a sweetheart! Everybody follows God’s rules, everybody feels and thinks the same. A lily white, pure society. Wrong! Some Christians subscribe to the proposition that violence solves all problems. That freedom is reserved for Christians only. Is there taxation in this Christian society? Oh, fuck yeah, there is! Except it’s called, “tithing.” In this new society, you will have to pay 75% of your income. If you should have a heart attack, your pastor will say a prayer for you. If you masturbate, the God Squad will send you to Jesus’ camp. Do you want that? Good! Stay the fuck away from me!

I am not engaging in drollery here. To jerk off, I need a halophile environment. If the theocrats win, the American experiment is over. Plus, the bastards don’t believe in scientific methodology.

We don’t need religion. Really!  Freedom is for all, not just a chosen few.

[potatoes83]

Random...

K-Love is playing Christmas music now on the weekends. I love that!

Politerotica 3: Family 'round the Christmas tree...

Well, around the Thanksgiving table, but it didn't rhyme. Commit to the bit, yeah? So. The shambling dinosaur on life support that is the liberal legacy media has been telling us for weeks now how we can prepare ourselves for those evil, bigoted Trump voters that are about to darken our doorstep for the holidays. To be clear, I am one of those; I use the 'we' as in the targeted populace of their posts and broadcasts. Including, but not limited to just uninviting them. Classy. Grandpa's uninvited for Thanksgiving because he wants peace, a strong economy, and to not end up eating cat food because the grocery bill is too dear.

So I was at my in-laws for Thanksgiving. I know they voted differently than we did. They know we voted differently than they did. And who we voted for, and why we did, and just a full political recap... was never once mentioned. Not once. Now, I am not ashamed in the slightest of my vote, and if questioned, I will happily defend my position. But instead, we talked about what we've been up to. About family, about friends, about the holidays. About the things that actually mattered. Because here's the thing. Two things actually. First off, whatever happened to the big three not coming up in polite conversation; money, religion, and politics? Controversial topics. But even beyond that, politics is mind-numbingly, head shatteringly BORING!

Oh yeah, I voted Trump, but then we also had a local school board election, and don't you know it, there were only three people running for four spots, and I wasn't overly invested in the incumbents anyway, let alone those two millage proposals, and speaking of incumbents, how about those circuit court judges, I mean...

And no, it's not like we were uncomfortably avoiding the topic, stilted silence and awkward pauses revolving around the orange man bad elephant in the room, it's just that we not only have mutual respect for one another, but also have INFINITELY BETTER THINGS TO TALK ABOUT. Especially when we're all but doing a dine and dash; we got on the road after work Wednesday, stayed Thursday, and had to leave by noon on Friday. Which, as an aside, totally sucked, because they're in the greater Kalamazoo area, and Thanksgiving night through next Tuesday is seeing lake-effect snow bands just ripping through. The entirety of the I-94 corridor through Ann Arbor was off and on whiteout blizzard conditions and shitty roads.

...for those of you not familiar, lake-effect snow is something that greatly affects the west side of Michigan; it can extend throughout the state, Buffalo, New York also gets it bad. Cold air whips over the relatively warm Great Lakes (Lake Michigan is still about 50 degrees right now), picks up stupid amounts of moisture, and dumps snow. It can be blue sky and sunny, fluffy clouds, and turn to black sky and whiteout blizzard with an inch of fresh snow on the ground, and then back to sun out... in the space of literally fifteen minutes. And it just keeps doing this.

But getting back to it, we have been bombarded with politics now for the last what, year and a half? I mean, let's be honest, politicians start running for reelection the minute they're elected into office, but it obviously really ramps up before the election itself. In our social media, in our legacy media, in conversations around the proverbial water cooler, it has been absolutely inescapable. It's done. Let it fucking go. Like, seriously, the only thing worse than being bombarded with political ads during the election would be to be bombarded with politics after the election. I didn't walk in holding my hand in the shape of an L on my forehead going suck it bitches, we won, I asked if there was anything I could do, and helped peel the potatoes. They didn't splash me with holy water as I walked through the door, they made me breakfast. And we chatted and caught up, because even more so this visit than most, it was over in a flash and we had to come home.

Yes, politics are important, and many of us have been immersed in them because they are directly related to the direction of the country, which has been on the wrong road for the last four years. But if you can't put that aside for what is really important, or moreover, if that makes up so much of your identity that you can't look away, that well and truly is a shame. And I would also point out, that it's usually a one-way street. Because you notice how all the advice is how to cope with the Trump voter... not how to deal with the deluded Harris camp and company. 🥔

[autobot-ratchet]

Dark Cybertron Volume 2

Dark Cybertron Volume 2

I love that the crew calls upon Swerve to use his metallurgist skills more than once, love that my boy gets to help out with more than providing a place for people to hang out in

honestly, same hat, Nightbeat, I too love solving mysteries

EEEEYYY NAUTICA (and Chromia)

I will say, Windblade and the concept of cityspeakers is defs one of the cooler things to come from these comics. I was gonna say it's a non-MTMTE thing but like. Is it? lmAO I'm pretty sure this is Windblade's first appearance, in MTMTE 26, but I know Roberts and Barber are co-writing this arc so I have no clue whose idea cityspeakers was

damn, I still hate how harsh Optimus is to Roddy after he tells him about the Overlord thing and the vote to keep him as captain. It'd be one thing if he was simply projecting, like “I resigned so you should have too,” but for him to accuse Rodimus of only asking for the crew's opinion because he figured he'd come out on top sucks. Like I won't try to say that Rodimus would never be selfish or anything, but the guy's got a conscience. I truly don't think that Rodimus held that vote for the express purpose of winning on a technicality, he pretty clearly took the crew's decision to heart and it really sucks that Optimus of all people has such a bad faith take on it

I'm so fond of Metroplex, I love the titans, Cyberverse made me so soft and mushy for a good titan

I do like Optimus having to deal with the lineage of the Primes and how they were all pretty terrible actually. Again, I like how Megatron had a good fuckin reason to do what he did, at least in the beginning. Shit was fucked and the Autobots weren't the purest good guys and the Decepticons weren't pure evil, it's all complicated, there's no such thing as absolute good or absolute evil, all you can do is try your best and take action and taking action always comes with the risk of fucking things up for someone

and now Roddy's the one giving Optimus the pep talk, he's so good, god I love Rodimus

lmao that's right, I almost forgot about Prowl's little fan club of constructicons

oh oof Magnus come on, don't go asking Chromedome to do mnemosurgery, especially after he's been widowed. Good on Chromedome for refusing, hell yeah

I fucking LOVE this interaction between Ratchet and Megatron, I still firmly believe that Ratchet being this feisty with him is precisely why Megatron likes him, he loves the spunk

love everybody hanging out at Swerve's

dfhsjkd Swerve fanboying over Blurr is so funny, we finally found a way to shut his ass up

Skids: just play it cool Swerve: *proceeds to play it the least cool anyone has ever played it*

it wasn't cool of Chromedome to break into Prowl's head and leave it open for the Decepticons to waltz into but also Chromedome yeeting Prowl off a cliff is extremely funny and deserved, get his ass

Magnus giving Prowl a talking to is also extremely deserved, fuckin GET HIS ASS Magnus, you're right and you should say it

damn, fucking rip Bee

poor Brainstorm, he had no idea he was gonna be used as a portal to the dead universe

“No! You twist my beliefs!” “Well, you have to admit- You started that yourself, Megatron” I WAS GONNA SAY LMAO

hell yeah Roddy, so proud of you for giving up being the big cool hero for getting the dead universe victims to the medbay

“It's not 'logical,' but it's right.” that's fucking RIGHT that's my BOY

I love how Brainstorm simultaneously openly admires Perceptor and also will do everything he can to be better than him. Rodimus is literally like “Perceptor could juggle the building blocks of life and death,” and Brainstorm immediately stops being nervous and is like “I'll juggle them harder, actually”

I do love how the thing that's so illogical that Shockwave can't handle it is Megatron becoming an Autobot lmAO

aww man, it just hit me how sad Shockwave's story is lmAO it's easy to forget that Senator Shockwave and purple cyclops Shockwave are the same person since they're so wildly different, but seeing current Shockwave acting like past Shockwave... it got me, I gotta admit

I also gotta admit, I do like that we have Megatron commit to joining the Autobots, that could've so easily just been a trick to fluster Shockwave long enough to defeat him and save the day, but no, we're doing this

[orcboxer]

Personally I'm not a fan of "vote blue no matter who" because it kind of implies an uncritical approach I don't like, and if there's an opportunity to elect a more leftist president I'm absolutely gonna take it. But when people say it, it is about stopping the fascist party from getting elected, yeah. Is that bleak? Kind of, yeah, because ideally we shouldn't have a fascist party. But we are making progress.

There are a lot of methods for making meaningful change, and a lot of them are beaurocratic and undramatic, so they don't make good headlines or gain traction on social media. But most change does start locally, so joining unions, getting involved with local queer activist groups, electing better local officials, undoing gerrymandering in your city or state -- it all adds up. (note: when I say "you" in this post I don't mean like you, anarbitraryurl, I mean like the general "you")

And the thing is, I've been trying to do all of that in my city for almost a decade, and it was so much harder when the republicans were in power. It is easier to fix shit when liberals are in charge than when fascists are in charge, go figure. People act like nothing ever improves here but that's straight up propaganda.

The presidential election isn't even remotely the only avenue for positive change, we can't put all our ducks in that one basket -- people who refuse to vote are just as guilty of that as people who only vote in the presidential election and then do nothing else. It is not all-important, but it's not unimportant either. You can't make progress if you don't resist when fascists try to elect fascists, and you can't make progress if you alienate every single potential ally. You make do with what you have, not what you fantasize about having.

We're all disillusioned and bitter, I get it, I really do, but working with liberals won't push the liberals to the right, it will in fact do the opposite. Progress has been happening this whole time, not as fast as I would like, but faster than I expected. Just because we haven't reformed the entire electoral system in 4 years doesn't mean we're never going to get there. It sucks that tumblr users shit all over the contributions of real activists by claiming none of it matters until everything is perfect.

if you would rather elect a fascist than a liberal you're not a leftist you're just edgy

[palajae]

tomorrow, again | one.

PAIRING ▸ school president! jungwon x reader x outcast! niki 

GENRE ▸ high school! au, love triangle!, romance, fluff, angst, humor

WORD COUNT ▸ 3k ish

SUMMARY ▸ if you were told that two complete polar opposite guys from your school were eventually going to be fighting over you, you would have laughed it off. that is, until it really happens- but certainly not under the conditions you expect.

AKA jungwon is the peak definition of your school’s itboy and niki is just… there (if and when he actually shows up to school). 

NOTES ▸ mentions of death + related jokes, drug dealers,

masterlist. | next.

1 — WAKE UP.

“i’m sorry, but i can’t.” 

that’s the 12th time you’ve told wonyoung no- and yes, you were counting. she and the others hadn’t stopped badgering you for the last week. yet here you were thinking being head of the yearbook staff was a good idea. one would think you had the ultimatum, but you guess it backfired on you. 

“of course you should be the one to interview our school president, we chose you as the head for a reason!” wonyoung says in a sickeningly sweet tone and you groan as others pitch in their agreement. you don’t know what other excuse to make up and get out of the one thing you absolutely did not want to do. so far all your excuses were bull and they knew it. 

“didn't you quit piano like five years ago?” 

“yeah, and i thought book club ended for the year already.” 

yujin gives you a apologetic smile. “nice try, y/n, but we know you don’t have other plans. we’re your only friends and your plans are always with us.” 

okay, so they got you there. 

you practically face plant into the desk, squeezing your eyes shut as you try to fend off the denial and accept the truth. but you just can’t. 

if it was literally anyone else in the world- anyone- you would have agreed easily in a heartbeat. 

well, almost anyone. 

“what’s wrong with our school president? he’s our school’s president for crying out loud. i’m pretty sure yang jungwon is one of the nicest people here,” wonyoung asks innocently and you want to curl up into a ball. 

yang jungwon. a senior in the grade above you. (un)luckily for you, he most admittedly had killer good looks and brains. you’re sure he got accepted into every college he applied to with that shining executive president badge on his chest. curse popular people like him who were so effortlessly talented.

the man was even deadly skilled at taekwondo. you’re 99% sure he made someone pass out in the past (and that was only during warmup.)

but enough of the past, you shake your head. “sure, he is. but no thanks.” 

“now that i think about it,” yuna frowns, “i don’t think i’ve ever seen y/n and jungwon interact before, let alone appear in the same room. like, not even once.” 

“exactly,” you instead nod encouragingly, “so someone else should do it. it’s not that big of a deal. anyone can interview him in no time.“ 

yuna raises an eyebrow, “if it’s not that big of a deal, then why can’t you do it? he’s like the most important person at this school and you’re the most important person on this team.”

the rest join in and you mutter under your breath. “c’mon, y/n! he’s about to graduate and we need to finish his page before he leaves. it can’t be that bad, you know.”

your eye twitches. can it, though? can it really? 

and as much as you try, your attempts to evade the cursed meeting fail- horribly, if anyone was wondering. 

majority vote sucks. 

and it sucks even more knowing that you yourself were the one to implement that rule.

the yearbook draft was due in less than a week, which just again showed how much you were procrastinating this last interview. you couldn’t even describe how much you dreaded this. 

but it had to be done. everyone on the team was relying on you to get the job finished, and you hated to disappoint. 

you despise how easy it is to find jungwon in the hallway. his presence was like a shining beam of light, followed by stares of admiration and whispers from lovesick underclassmen. of course, he had that kind of reputation. but you also despise how he had the same reputation of being so humble about it while still (kindly) rejecting every girl that confessed to him. 

so, it turns out that it really could have gone that bad. and you like to think that it did. 

first off, you approaching jungwon in itself caused a stir in the hallway. it was completely out of the blue and honestly you felt the same as those random students staring at you. 

you roll your eyes, already regretting your decision to do this in public. but where else could you have confronted him? if you came up to him when he was alone and it was just the two of you- you shiver at the thought- things would have gone even worse. 

you clear your throat to get his attention, not dialing to see his eyes widen in surprise at the sight of you. 

“y/n?”

you ignore the whispers from surrounding people, all of which you’re sure are commenting on how he knew your name. plus others reasoning that he’s the school president and he probably knew everyone’s name.

you suppress the urge to roll your eyes again. 

“i need to interview you for the yearbook. it’ll be short, like thirty minutes max. do you have a day this week that you’re free?” you try to keep your tone as calm and disinterested as possible, gaze focused on the middle of his forehead in order to avoid the horrendous eye contact. 

but when jungwon smirks, you almost lose it, and even more at his next words. 

“are you trying to ask me out?” 

you squint at him and he laughs. what in the world was wrong with this guy?

“whoa, no need to look like that. i’m kidding. how about friday in the library at 4? i have tutoring until 3:30 and cello at-“ 

“yeah. sure. thanks,” you cut him off and push past, eager to escape. you exhale in relief when you’re more than ten feet away from him. at least you got the hard part over. 

or so you thought. 

· • —– ٠ ✄  ٠ —– • ·

when you open the doors to the library on friday, a couple of minutes late, you’re not sure why you suddenly feel nervous. probably because you have to see jungwon again, you remind yourself. and this time, it’s just the two of you. 

you’re not surprised to find jungwon seated at a secluded spot in the corner. of course, he was always on time.  

you mumble a greeting to catch his attention while slipping into the seat across from him. jungwon brightens up when he sees you, and you distract yourself by getting ready. man, you can’t wait to get out of here. 

i’m just going to get started so we can finish early-“ you glance up to find jungwon already staring at you. he nods without breaking eye contact and you adjust your sitting position, uncomfortable. you open your laptop- time to focus. 

you meant it when you said you wanted to finish early, jumping straight into the questions. 

“as our president, do you have any advice to give for the underclassmen?”  

jungwon looks off into the distance while taking his time to think thoughtfully. he straightens up in his chair when he has an answer. “i would say to live your life to the fullest, as much as possible. you can only live once, which means you can only experience high school once. time is precious, so make the best of what you have.” 

the sound of your laptop keys clicking fill the air as you nod, focusing more on getting his answer down than paying attention to what he was truly saying. so far, so good. 

“what made you want to run for and eventually become our school president?” 

while you wait for an answer, this time, your eyes subconsciously fall onto the male sitting in front of you.

you can’t help but studying him and all his features. he finally speaks up and you snap out of it. “it was probably the people in my life. they inspired me to want to do better, be better. they were the ones i became ambitious for. i guess i just,” he pauses for a moment, "i guess i wanted to become the reliable person everyone thought i was."

his words make you hesitate, but you only nod while typing quietly.

“i just didn’t expect the whole popularity explosion,” he adds with a wink and you hold back a scoff. the rest of the interview continues on, with jungwon being strangely cocky and confident and you not succumbing to any of his dumb tricks. 

when you finally scroll down to the last question you internally let out a sigh of relief. but when you read it, you falter. 

“do you have… any regrets?” 

you hate the way you say it, waiting in anticipation for his response. jungwon looks you in the eye and you feel the atmosphere switch as you swallow at his answer. 

“of course.” 

· • —– ٠ ✄  ٠ —– • ·

“what did you do to jungwon?” chaeryeong asks as you walk together to class, “i’ve never seen him act like this before. did it have something to do with that interview you were talking about?”

you sigh in defeat, “yeah, the one for our yearbook.” 

after that day, it was like you kept seeing jungwon everywhere. and you despised it. 

at first, it was something simple and trivial like accidentally making eye contact with him before immediately looking away. but the more it kept happening (you swear on your life it wasn’t on purpose), the more confident jungwon would grow. you hated how he started waving at you, sending you winks, even going so far as to put an arm around you.  

you actually felt so uncomfortable from the stares and whispers surrounding you and him. but it’s not like you could blame them,  you would’ve been exactly the same in their position. 

yang jungwon was the polite and reliable president (that never accepted a single confession or even seemed interested in any), so why was he suddenly flirting with someone he’s never even talked to before- 

you, a junior, and the head of the yearbook staff? 

it was always one of two things. jungwon must like you, or you two must be dating, people figured. you don’t know how many glares you got from girls and how many times you had to explain that you weren’t dating jungwon and he was just being crazy (for some reason that you don’t want to know or think about). 

either way, jungwon’s sudden change in behavior causes a rouse throughout the school. you’re not okay with it. 

meanwhile, niki simply thinks it’s hilarious (and a little infuriating but he refuses to admit that). it referring to all the rumors surrounding you and jungwon. he’s seen how you try to avoid your own school president at all costs, all in desperate measures. 

but he doesn’t show that he’s amused, of course, and it’s not like anyone was paying attention to him anyway. niki almost wants to join in, though. he’s quite interested in how it would play out if he were to do something. 

little did he know it would soon become that way. 

· • —– ٠ ✄  ٠ —– • ·

you actually hate your chemistry class. 

not because of the subject (well, kinda) but because of your lack of friends in that period. 

everytime the teacher announced some sort of group or partner activity, you were forced to tagalong some already established friend group awkwardly. and there was nothing wrong with that, but you still hated the struggle. 

so when your teacher assigns a partner project nearing the end of the year, you cry internally. assigned project and assigned partners?

even worse. 

you slump down in your seat, waiting for your name to be called. when it is, you perk up. 

“y/n and… niki.” 

your head shoots up as your eyes almost bulge out of their sockets. you have actually got to be kidding me, you think. 

as you take the sad walk up to the teacher’s desk to grab the assignment details, you catch a few pitying looks directed at you. god, even the teacher gave you sympathetic smile. 

poor y/n has to work with the loner who barely shows up to school- 

is probably what they’re thinking, but oh no, not you. 

you don’t dare look your partner in the eye as you awkwardly hand him a copy, feeling his eyes actually burn holes into you. 

you think the world is doing this to you on purpose.

at least you have your friends to comfort you at lunch. wonyoung looks at you mournfully, “good luck doing the project by yourself, y/n.” 

you have a blank look on your face as you stare off into the distance. “at least you don’t have to deal with a know-it-all or a creep,” yujin adds. you still don’t budge, not even a single reaction. 

to make it worse, you see jungwon entering the cafeteria with his friends out of the corner of your eye and you turn your head to face the opposite way. then chaeryeong frowns, “i dunno, niki’s always wearing that black hoodies that’s always covering his face. and didn’t someone say that he was a drug dealer-“

“he’s not a drug dealer,” you speak up sharply. 

your friends jump at your sudden entrance into the conversation, the first words you’ve spoken since chemistry class. suddenly, everyone’s curious and you want to bury yourself into a deeper hole. 

“how do you know, y/n?” 

“have you talked to him before? are you guys friends?”

“i swear he’s doesn’t have any friends… have you been lying to us, y/n?”

this time, you get up and stalk out of the cafeteria with a strange finality, failing to notice the two pairs of eyes that follow you out. 

· • —– ٠ ✄  ٠ —– • ·

well, it’s as awkward as you expected. 

the day after receiving the project, you figured it was best to get a head start and suggested niki come over to your place on a whim. mainly because you didn’t think he’d offer his place or even show up in the first place. 

so you stand there gaping when you open the door to reveal niki, a stone-cold expression on his face. the same one he had on at school. or at least, when he showed up. plus the same black hoodie he always had covering half his face. 

wait so, he actually showed up? and also, did he think the whole emo phase was cool or something? 

for the first time though, you look at him.  “u-uh, come in,” you start off lamely. 

niki silently enters and takes a look around your house, noting the changes. you lead him over to the living room, where your stuff already is. you take a seat and so does he, a remarkably wide distance between the two of you on the couch. 

“i just started, but i didn’t know how you wanted to divide up the work,” you speak quietly. you glance at niki nervously only for him to shrug, uninterested.  

you frown, taking a deep breath in, “how about i take the first half and you do the second? we can meet up in a week to check over everything before turning it in?” 

your voice comes out hesitant, shy, unconfident. the silence is unbearable as you study the floor, picking at your hands.  

niki picks up on the action, so he finally says something and his deep voice makes shivers run down your spine. “okay.” 

unsure, you glance up at him.  

“are you sure you can do it? i-i can do some more if-“  you stop when he rolls his eyes.  

“i got it.” 

“okay….” you glance off into the distance, “then that’s all.” 

niki chooses then to leave quietly and you still can’t believe what just happened. 

the week goes by fast, as you get caught up in schoolwork. still, you ignore jungwon’s overly friendly greetings and niki’s stares into your back which you can obviously feel more and more as time goes on.  

nearing the end of the week, you arrive at the cafe you planned to meet niki at. your house was too messy and your mother didn’t want anyone over at the house, so you suggested some random place to meet up and he somehow agreed. 

you’re (not surprisingly) the first one there, and you take your time ordering a drink first and double checking your work as you wait. 

you’re so focused you don’t realize the chair across from you sliding out at first. 

when you finally see niki, you jump slightly and this time you catch the tiniest hint of a smile on his face from your reaction before it drops. 

he’s only like… 20 minutes late, you shrug. funny how him and jungwon were the complete opposites…

niki glances at your drink and almost smirks. 

“i’m not surprised you ordered that,” he comments simply. 

but you freeze at his words before coughing slightly,

“so, i did my part and i saw yours so is it alright if i combine the two and finish it up before we present next week?” 

he doesn’t fail to note how fast you changed the topic. 

that night, you reflect on the day’s events. which somehow include jungwon giving you his milk at lunch (to which you gave away to a hungry yuna with ease) and niki after school doing the bare minimum on his half of work and giving you only one word answers (all you want is a high grade on this project). 

why those two of all freaking people in your school, you don’t know. and you also don’t know which one is making your life worse right now. 

you think about jungwon winking with that charming expression, and niki rolling his eyes under that dark hood of his. since when did things become like this? you realized it with a heavy sigh. 

they’ve changed, and so have you.

TAGLIST ▸ @hiqhkey @axartia

send an ask/dm to be added to the taglist!

[hangezoeenthusiast]

Papa

Part 2 Part 3

let me know if you wanna be tagged please. this will be a series

fem!daughter!reader

word count: 1,855

person: c!schlatt, c!quackity, c!karl, c!sapnap

warnings: parents, cursing, yelling, orphans, cigars and alcohol mention (btw these are the warnings for now)

synopsis: you were loved, you were cherished, then someone left, and other people replaced that person, and you didn't like that.

-

Your biological parents threw you out of their home because they couldn't care for you. You were at least at the brink of 2 years old when this happened. They put you in a little stroller and took you to an orphanage. "Miss Jessica's Home For Orphans", it was a stupid place, but the place got you fed, and clothed.

On some fortunate day, you were going to get adopted. Quackity his name was. He came in, and asked for kids 2-6. "Those ages are easy to maintain", he thought in his head. He was contemplating whether or not to get a child of his own. He was lonely, no one to love, no one to care for. So Miss Jessica called everyone 2-6 years old to come.

With help from a older person, everyone 2-6 came downstairs. Quackity looked at everyone, and wondered which child he would bring home. Then he looked at you. you looked so adorable, so cute. He asked you, "Hey kid, what's your name." "I'm Y/n, how are you." you smiled at him with barely any teeth. He pulled you gently off to the side, "Hey kiddo, do you want to come with me to my house?" "Yes Mr." you answer.

You were glad to go to Quackity's house, you never had any love from anyone.

-

(Spongebob theme) 8 years later

You were 10 years old, living happily with Quackity. 8 years ago, he came to the orphanage and picked you up, ever since, you were showered with love and care. But there was one thing, you never called Quackity dad. You would just call him Alex or Quackity.

“Hey Quackity, what’s for lunch?”

“Ummm, some pizza with wings, buffalo right?”

“Yeah.”

Quackity felt bad, you never and did call him by dad, or any parental name. “Hey kid, can i talk to you about something.”

You put down your water, “Yeah, what’s up?” “So lately I’ve noticing that you have been calling me by my name?”

“Are you uncomfortable with me using your name.” you asked. “No, no, but it’s kinda weird, since, yaknow, I adopted you, and I’m a parental figure in your life, so maybe if you would call me dad or another parental name that would be cool?”

“Ohh, the only reason I was calling you by your name because I thought you were uncomfy with me calling you dad?”

“Oh thank goodness, I thought I did something wrong.” he sighed out.

"Could I possibly call you papa, since you-" he cut you off by hugging you. He squeezed his arms around you really hard, 'YES, YES, ANYTHING."

So after that, you would call him papa or dad, and sometimes use his real name.

-

6 years later, you were 16. The election happened, the calling out of the votes, Coconut2020 coming in fourth, which was last, who was lead by Fundy and Nihachu, Schlatt2020 coming in third, lead by Jschlatt, Swag2020 coming in second, lead by Quackity who is your papa and Georgenotfound, and Pog2020 coming in first lead by Tommyinnit, Wilbur Soot, and Tubbo. Also the sudden announcement of Schlatt2020 and Swag2020 polling votes, and the speech by Schlatt stating that Wilbur Soot and Tommyinnit were no longer citizens of L'Manberg now turned Manberg.

You were surprised, you didn't know that your father with add his votes with Schlatt's. So immediately after Wilbur and Tommy got banned from Manberg, Quackity and Schlatt called you and Tubbo up to the stage. "HEY YOU TWO, COME UP HERE." Schlatt yelled at you both. You both were reluctant to go, Schlatt was scary, his ram-horned self.

"It's ok Y/n, you're ok." your father told you. You stiffly went up the stage with Tubbo. "Tubbo, I want you to be the Secretary of State, and Y/n, I want you to be the First Lady, since your dad is the Vice-President." Schlatt demanded you both to be.

You didn't really want to be in a position of power. You were happy with living with Quackity, in L'Manberg, with no place of authority over anyone.

"Are you sure Schlatt, I mean, I suck at authority." said Tubbo. "Yes, I'm sure, I'm totally sure."

-

You were doing some paperwork for Schlatt when Tubbo came into your office, "Y/n, Schlatt and Quackity want you in their office."

"Ok, I need to finish this paperwork for Punz, he needs-"

"They said it's urgent."

"Fineee." you got up from your chair, "Thanks Tubbo, by the way, can you finish the paperwork, if you aren't busy."

"Yeah sure Y/n, just hurry up, they are really acting crazy in there." he jokingly stated. "Trust me, they're doing nothing."

You went out of your office, and walked all the way to Schlatt's. There, you found Quackity and Schlatt sitting together, talking about some random presidental shit. "Hey, what you guys needed me for?" you asked. You were desperate to go back to your office, still not used to this place. "We need to tell you something." they synchronized.

"Okkk, so what?"

"Umm, well Y/n, meet your new dad." you gaped at Quackity, then Schlatt repeatedly.

"NOPE."

"NEVER."

"WHY HIM."

"HE SUCKS ASS."

"HE SMELLS LIKE CIGARS AND ALCOHOL, WHY WOULD YOU WANNA DATE SOMEONE WHO SMELLS LIKE THAT."

You rambled on and on until Quackity covered your mouth to stop your obsequent talking, "Calm down mi quierda, first of all, it's not your choice, he makes me happy, I make him happy, and lastly, he smells great."

"YEAH I DO, YOU TELL HER BABE, I DON’T STINK." Schlatt yelled across the room.

“But why him, like there is multiple other people who is better than him.” you whined.

“Ok kid, I like, no love him, he loves me, why can’t you be happy with that.” Schlatt told you irritated.

“But-”

“No buts, just please be supporting of us, please mi amor?”

“Fine, doesn’t mean I like it.”

-

After that little argument you had with Schlatt and Quackity, you finished leftover paperwork so there wouldn’t be a pile of it when you came back to the office the next day.

You heard a knock on the door, and told them to come in. To your surprise, annoyingly, it was Schlatt, holding up your favorite hamburger from McDonalds. “Hey kid, what you doing?” he asked you.

You didn’t respond to him, trying to stay silent and finish the paperwork. “Your dad told me your favorite meal from McDonald’s, yaknow, as a present I guess.”

You still ignored him. "Kid, I know you don't like me, I wouldn't like me either if I found out my dad was dating-" you interrupted him, "It's not that, I want dad to be happy, it's YOU, you don't deserve his love. Do you understand Schlatt?"

He put his hand on your knee, "I know, I don't deserve him, I'm not trying to replace anyone in your life, I just want to make Quackity and possibly you happy."

You blankly looked at him, "Ok, that was a good statement, but if you hurt dad, I will make sure you live the rest of your life feeling like shit."

"We got a deal kid, you accept this partnership between me and your dad, and I'll won't break his heart, deal?"

You shook his hand, "Deal Schlatt."

-

"Hey kid, we're going out to a date, you want anything from outside?" Schlatt knocked on your door to your room. You were reading your favorite book when Schlatt interrupted your reading process, "Nah, have a good date."

You were kinda accepting Schaltt dating Quackity. You didn't like their PDA though. It was absolutely digusting, but it made your father happy. "Hey babe, what you doing in here?" Quackity appeared at the frame of your door. "Nothing, just talking to little ol' Y/n, isn't that right?"

"Yes, don't call me that though." "Ok then, you ready babe?" asked Schlatt. "Yeah, Y/n, don't do anything stupid while me and Schlatt are gone." You rolled your eyes, "I'm not going to do anything stupid papa, just have a great night with Jcum." "HEY, DON'T CALL ME JCUM."

"Love you both." you got back into your book, not knowing that the both of them were shocked.

Those three little words got both of them gaping at you. You didn't like Schlatt from the beginning, and you were saying to him "love you"? "What did you just say mi amor?" "I said love you both." you didn't know that those words were significant to Schlatt.

He wanted your approval of dating Quackity, since you are his only daughter. "HOLY SHIT, YOU SAID LOVE YOU TO ME, TO ME." Schlatt leaped with joy. "Don't take it too serious Jschlatt, you kinda warmed up to me these past weeks." you smirked.

He walked to your bed, and hugged you with all his might.

"Schlatt."

"What are you doing?"

"You are squeezing me too tight."

"I can't breath right now, let go of me."

You squeezed out, he was crushing all the oxygen out of your body, "Sorry, Y/n." he shyly spoke, rubbing the back of his neck. "Schlatt, we have had a lot of arguments, I didn't like you, still kinda don't right now, but you are actually a good person, and I actually, not fakely, approve you to date my dad."

Schlatt ran out your room screaming repeatedly, "YES, LET'S GOOO."

-

Quackity was out doing some random things for Schlatt, while you were cooking Schlatt's favorite food. Since last week you declared that you were actually ok with their relationship, you actually got comfortable with Jschlatt being near you.

It was a teasing relationship, you guys making fun of each other when the other did something wrong. To kinda celebrate the event, you were making food. You heard the door open, and there Schlatt was in his presidential suit. "Hey Schlatt, what's up?" you questioned while mixing the pasta in the pot.

He took of his jacket, shoes, and tie, looking stressed, "Nothing kid, just stresed out" "About what?" "Tubbo needs a lot of items to get something for me, but I don't have them." he sighed. "What does he need?" "He needs stupid netherite, the only thing I don't have in hand." "I actually have some, I could give it to Tubbo." you stated. "Thanks kiddo." "No problem Schlatt."

"Anyways, food is going to be ready in an hour."

"Thanks, I'll be in my room."

"Ok dad." He stopped in his tracks, "What did you just say to me." "What do you mean?" "Y-you just called me dad." he stumbled on his words with unbelief lacing them.

You smiled over your shoulder, "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't, who knows?" "You actually consider me to be your dad?"

"Well yeah, you're nice to me and papa, you take care of me, you love me, so why not?"

He hugged you from behind, "Thanks kiddo, I'll receive this announcemet with honor," he jokingly stated. "No problemo dad, just go take a shower, you stink." "NEVER." he wrapped his arms around you as much as he could.

(This is the end of this first part, this is my first time making a series, let me know what you think)

[k-llama-llama]

Going Higher

Stray Kids AU: 9th member

Tori x Stray Kids

Stray Kids during the vault jump on Kingdom.

A/N:Please check out my PATREON (patreon.com/kllamallama) for exclusive posts you can’t get anywhere else, as well as lots of other cool benefits!

Requests are OPEN and your feedback is still greatly appreciated!

Masterlist and other Follow Me links in bio!

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Chan asked her.

“What is that, your catchphrase?” Tori scoffed. “Come on, Chan, you know I’ll be fine.”

Chan gestured wildly at the field. “You’re trying to vault jump something that’s way taller than you are with an injured hand. I feel like this is a bad idea.”

They were at the field day for Kingdom, and Tori was staunchly refusing to sit out despite her injury and the fact that she was the only girl in the competition. This was in spite of the fact that both the managers, the producers, and Chan were trying to convince her to sit out. She’d already beaten the first two groups, and now Chan was the only one standing in her way.

“I danced ballet for years, I can jump high enough to get over that thing.” She stretched out her calf.

“What if you hit your hand?” He continued trying to reason with her.

“I’ll keep my pain to myself.” She grinned. “I’m not sitting out when I’m the only girl. It won’t look good.”

He sighed. “But you’re already injured.”

“And I won’t hold the team back.”

“Do you two feel like you’re having the same argument? Because I feel like you’re both talking about different things.” Minho looked up from where he was tying his shoe.

“We’re not having an argument at all.” Tori nudged him with her foot. “I’m going to jump the vault, set a record and live the rest of my life as a legend.”

“Possible a legend with one hand, but sure.” Minho nodded. “But, sure, give it a shot.”

“I’ll get a hook.”

“Tori!” Someone shouted.

Tori looked away from where she was stretching to see Seonghwa walking over from his own tent. She was sure her cheeks went beet red, as soon as he stepped towards her.

“Hey. You guys ready for this?” She gestured out to the field where the staff were setting up the vault to the first height.

“Probably not.” He gestured to his clothes. Ateez were the only ones who hadn’t turned up in full sporting outfits. “Are you jumping or are you sitting this one out because of your hand?”

“She should be sitting out!” Chan came up beside her.

“But he’s not the boss of me.” Tori grinned. “So I’m jumping anyways.”

“Stray Kids to the field!” The announcement came through the speakers.

“That’s us.” Chan sighed, stepping away.

Tori didn’t follow, still smiling at Seonghwa.

“Good luck.” He offered his hand for a fist bump. “Do it for the team.”

“I’ll win us a medal.” She beamed.

“If you do, smoothies are on me tonight.”

Tori blushed. She’d been out with Seonghwa a few times now, but it still took her by surprise every time she realized that he wanted to spend time with her. Neither of them were rushing to put a label on it, especially with Kingdom breathing down their necks, but they always had an amazing time. They just got each other and it was so easy to be together.

“Tori? Are you coming?” Chan called.

Tori shook out of her thoughts. “Cheer for me?”

“Of course.” Seonghwa coughed. “We all will.”

Tori smiled weakly and turned to hurry after her group.

“What was that about?” Chan asked when she reached him.

“Hm?” Tori asked cluelessly.

“You and Seonghwa. You’re going out for smoothies?”

Tori winced. She hadn’t exactly broached the topic with Chan about her kinda sorta maybe considering dating someone. It wasn’t that she thought he’d have a problem with it, she just didn’t know how he would take it. She certainly wasn’t going to lie to him…but now maybe wasn’t the time to fully explore the topic.

“Yeah.” She nodded. “I promised to show him that place that does boba smoothies.”

“I love that place.” He sighed happily. Tori showed up seemingly every week with smoothies from a new place that she had discovered. It probably didn’t sound that weird for her to be taking their mutual friend out for smoothies.

“It’s great.” She nodded, before trying to quickly change the subject. “So…should I jump first to get it over with?”

“No.” He chuckled. “You should wait until a few of us have jumped so that you have time to change your mind.”

“Not changing my mind.” She winked.

She went to stand beside Jeongin, adjusting the knot in the front of her shirt. She had it tied up to reveal a little bit of her stomach, as the pink sweatpants were not necessarily flattering.

Jeongin was bouncing on his heels. He’d been getting a lot of attention as the maknae of the competition, and he was very pepped-up.

“Careful, or you’ll bounce right out of your shoes.” Tori teased.

“Noona, I was worried they weren’t going to let you jump!” He exclaimed. “How’s your hand?”

Tori held up her bandaged hand. They’d wrapped a few extra layers of gauze around it just to give it some cushioning, so she looked like she was wearing an over mitt on her hand. “Never better.”

The announcement came over that they were beginning, and Tori quickly began to cheer as the vault started.

She had to be honest, she’d been confident about the jump before they started, when they’d watched the other teams go. But now that she was up close, it seemed a lot higher. And as she watched her teammates fail (even if Jeongin did fail on purpose), she grew increasingly nervous for her turn.

“And now we have the final runner for Stray Kids! The only girl competing today, the Princess of Kingdom…Tori!” Changmin shouted over the mic.

Despite her nerves, Tori did a playful curtsy as she walked over to the starting position.

“Let’s go Tori!” She could hear cheers from the rest of the teams.

“Don’t fall!” Felix roared.

“Right.” She rolled her eyes, before waving at the camera. “Tori, ready to go!”

Tori took a deep breath, sizing up the vault, and the sprinted forward. She was athletic enough that speed wasn’t an issue, but she had to focus on making sure she would hit the vault at the right speed.

She stepped onto it, springing up onto the springboard, and vaulting as high as she could. She lifted her legs wide out to the side to clear the vault, and then landed unceremoniously on the ground.

She rolled to a stop, hands still held above her head.

“Did I do it?” She looked around wildly.

She was tackled to the side, and barely had time to suck in a breath before she found herself buried under a Stray Kids dog pile.

“You did so good!” Someone – she thought it might be Seungmin – was shouting.

“And now I’m suffocating!” Her voice was muffled.  She had no idea if their mics would even be picking this up, considering how smothered she was.

“Off before you break her.” Chan started hauling people off of her.

Tori sprung to her feet as soon as she was free, bowing enthusiastically to the other teams and the announcer’s tent.

“She made that look easy.” Changmin announced with a laugh. “That’s another point for Stray Kids.”

Tori practically skipped over to the tent, absolutely beaming.

“Told ya.” She linked arms with Chan. “And you said I couldn’t do it.”

“I didn’t say you couldn’t do it. I said you shouldn’t because you might hurt your hand.” He patted her back. “But fine. You did a good job. Now you just need to get through the next like six rounds.”

“Easy.” She winked at him.

When they reached their tent, Tori purposefully took the seat on the edge, closest to Ateez’s tent. Seonghwa was sitting on the end at their table, and he held out a hand for a fist bump.

“You killed it.” He declared.

“I try not to disappoint.”

“There’s no way you could.” He laughed.

Tori didn’t really know how to respond to that, so she just chuckled awkwardly and looked back out to the field. “So uh…did you guys already do that voting thing for the visual?”

“Yeah, we did it earlier.” Seonghwa nodded. “Took the pictures too.”

“Who’d you vote for?” Tori asked teasingly.

Seonghwa looked down at his feet. “I don’t think we’re supposed to tell.”

Tori laughed. “It was Felix, wasn’t it? I feel like everyone voted for Felix.”

Seonghwa just shrugged. “You’ll see.”

[fadebolt]

Personal room rankings:

1 - Waterfront Facility: C03 (9/10) 2 - Five Pebbles: B01 (9/10) 3 - Challenge #14 Monk (8/10) 4 - Undergrowth: A07 (8/10) 5 - Challenge #67 Monk (7/10) 6 - Subterranean: E05 (6/10) 7 - Industrial Complex: A21 (6/10) 8 - Shoreline: ROOF01 (5/10) 9 - Garbage Wastes: D01 (4/10) 10 - Suburban Drifts: A17 (3/10)

Extra comment: Come ooonnnn, nobody is visiting ROOF01's Shoreline version (aka, the pre-Saint but post-Spearmaster one), and you all damn well know it! I mean, it does look pretty alright, but is that really enough of a reason to vote for it? (I suppose it's up to you, but this round didn't exactly have any obvious bangers, so I do kind of get it, even if I disagree (and just to make it clear, I'm really not mad at this or anything, I just don't agree, that's all))

Anyhow, what do have for this one? Well, we have one from the list, which just so happens to be the least exciting one from the poll - A21. But while I do think it is the worst one in terms of the 'cool-ness' factor, it still does its job reasonably well. Accessing it requires some parkour - parkour that would be a little tricky for first time visitors, so keeping this place simple and easy makes sense. Not only that, it also has a Karma Flower, and a graffiti of a face that occupies the entire chamber. So it ain't bad, it's just a little too simple to really stand out in the second round.

Since that small room was the only one we've got to cover, I decided to add a bonus or two. One of them being:

B06, from Suburban Drifts, a room that is absolutely superior to the one Suburb room from this poll. And the reason is probably very obvious… Yup, you get to grab the Blue Fruits, and that's fricking awesome. Saint has other rooms like this, where you get to do things the other Slugcats couldn't, and the explanations I've given under those ones will absolutely apply here, too. I don't really have anything specific to add here, except maybe a comment on the nearby rooms having a bunch of spawns, but you're Saint, you've surfaces to grapple to, and the room isn't very big. Everything should be just fine. (Please don't check back on the Slugcat Showcase YouTube video. That Red Lizard probably spawned on a different location than the one we got, cus otherwise, I have no clue how it got all the way up there.) I'd still probably give it a 7/10, since it's not quite as cool as some of the other rooms where you get to do Saint Things (like that big one in Icy Monument). It still kinda sucks that it failed, while A17 succeeded, mostly as a result of luck. But hey, that's just how these things go.

And to close things out, we have the finale for Waterfront Facility, TOWER02! This was one of my biggest surprises, when it came to looking through failed rooms, cus like… this thing is so unique, and so well designed, and it manages to be dangerous, but also fun, but also fair, but also nice. I know this sounds a bit like incoherent rambling, because it's kind of hard to identify what makes this place work, but for me, it just does. (I guess to most obvious thing to point at is the wall in the middle. That's definitely a big part of it) So yeah, this one's a 9/10 too, just like C03. Man, Waterfront Facility really ended this round on a highnote, at least for me. I think that region has a boatload of awesome designs, and it was definitely done a bit dirty on the showdown (which is sort of fair, when you consider that it's a preference based thing, and most voters seem to prefer the bright and beautiful areas like Outer Expanse or Sky Islands, over the dark and gloomy ones like Waterfront, but I still appreciate this place).

Pick Your Favorite Rain World Room, Day 242 R2

This is not single elimination! Every room with at least 15.0% vote will move on to the next round.

There is a hidden slugcat in one of the rooms (they can be in any color). If u can see it comment or reblog with where they are and if u are first, u get a cookie!

Credit for game screenshots goes to: Rain World Interactive Map, Rain World Wiki and me

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

The Sommelier (Hannigram x Female!Reader) pt. 5

More people said yes to Hannigram, which is good because Will is already involved in the plot and it would be awkward to have him just disappear. Also, I had someone request a Hannigram x reader in my asks. Apologies to the one person who voted no; I promise there will be more solo Hannibal x reader content in the future.

Hannibal decides to that y/n could do with some extra protection, but doesn’t anticipate what she has to tell him.

I have no idea how to make a proper tag list but @deadman-inc-bikeshop and @dovahdokren here you go 

Trigger warnings: discussions of alcohol, victim blaming

“When I saw his face, I immediately knew he had never once experienced the touch of his own hand, let alone that of a woman.” Charissa read out loud to everyone on staff. “Or, that he was buried so deep in the closet he found Narnia, but those two things aren’t mutually exclusive.” 

It was expected to be a slow night, as was normal for an ordinary Tuesday. On nights like those, you could get away with more, like reading a tabloid article out loud for everyone to hear. 

“I can’t believe [F/N] actually went public.” One of the new busboys commented. “What an absolute madlad.”  

“Did you just unironically use reddit terminology in an actual conversation?” You narrowed your eyes at the kid. 

“[F/N], you are making a very dangerous enemy.” An older waitress said, cryptically, from the corner of the room. 

“Who, Jason?” You gestured to the busboy. “What’s he gonna do? Make me cringe myself to death?” 

“You know that’s not who I mean.” She frowned. “I’m talking about Chase Mulvaney.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” You shook your head. “He’s not stupid enough to come back here.” 

Charissa made a noise that denoted her doubt. “I dunno, [F/N]. You’d have to be pretty stupid to start stabbing people at a crowded restaurant in broad daylight.” 

“But he was smart enough to get away, right?” Jason asked. “That’s gotta count for something!” 

You and Charissa exchanged glances. Neither of you had the emotional bandwidth to explain white privilege again. Instead, you just humored him. 

“Yeah.” Charissa lied. “He was smart enough to get away, meaning he probably knows better than to come back.”

"You're kidding yourself." A third waitress, who's name you couldn't seem to place, added. "People always say that killers are these galaxy-brained superhumans, but they're not. Mulvaney believes he's divinely ordained, so any thought that pops into his coked-out head is a sign from god."

And so shattered your thin firmament of denial. You made a point to never learn this person's name just out of spite.

“Oh, shit.” You said, trying to hide your genuine fear with a sarcastic voice. “Maybe he is coming back for me.” 

Charissa glared at the two other waitresses, equally pissed at them for scaring you.

"And it'll be your own fault for provoking him with that article." The older waitress said.

"Holy victim-blaming, batman." You mumbled.

“Alright, listen up, y’all.” Matthew announced to the group. “In ten minutes we open for dinner. Remember, if you want to switch shifts with another person, you have to run it by me first. I don’t want to see anybody but [F/N] at the bar tonight, capiche?”

“Yessir.” You saluted him and made your way over to the bar. You’d been doling out your bartending shifts left and right to avoid even the possibility of being cornered by another Freddie Lounds. You were only prolonging the inevitable, though. Eventually, you needed to return to the bar.

You passed the hostess's stand, where Charissa was stationed. Suddenly, you felt someone grab at your arm.

"Fucking hell, dude?!" You flinched violently and your heart rate jumped. "Don't do that!"

"Shit, sorry!" Charissa looked immediately regretful. "But, look!"

You followed her gaze through the window where a fancy car was parked. He leaned against the door, adjusting the cuffs of his dress shirt.

Now your heart was beating fast for a completely different reason. You squeezed Charissa's hand, trying to keep a lid on your nervous excitement.

"I think your luck's starting to turn." She said in a sing-songy voice.

"Yeah, I bet he'll protect me from the Baltimore Butcher." You whispered, trying not to giggle like an elementary school girl.

"Oh, could you imagine those arms around you?" She sighed deeply, her hand firmly against her chest. "I would die."

"Not until he sinks his teeth into your neck." You smirked, gnashing your teeth together.

"I would let him." She rested her chin on her hand.

"Yeah, me too." You agreed.

"I would give anything to trade shifts with you." Charissa groaned.

"Well, you heard the boss." You shrugged, suddenly feeling much better about your assignment. "I gotta stay behind the bar."

"Oh, pobrecita." Charissa rolled her eyes. Underneath the stand, she put up her middle finger in your direction. "Suck a dick, [L/N]."

You walked backwards towards the bar, keeping your eyes on your friend. "That's the plan, baby."

You tried to make yourself look busy. You dared not look at him as he entered the restaurant.

He exchanged pleasantries with Charissa then took his seat at the bar. You pretended not to notice him right away, only to give you an extra second to compose yourself.

"Hi there." You greeted, knowing you'd feel stupid no matter what you said. "Er- good evening."

"[F/N] [L/N], I assume?" He asked.

Fuck, you thought. His voice was dark, low and made your insides tremble. Even though part of you knew he was going to know your name, it still felt so sensual passing his lips.

You realized you had waved to him with your bandaged hand. That's how he was about to identify you so quickly. "Yes, I am she. I mean- her. Me."

Way to go, dumbass. You thought. Now he knows you're nervous and he's going to wonder why.

“God, I need to stop wearing this damn thing.” You said, clearing your throat. “What can I get for you tonight?” 

He was quiet for a moment. "What do you recommend?"

"Well, that depends." You said, pulling your gaze from him and grabbing a few wine glasses down from a high shelf. It was the only way you could maintain your composure.

"On?"

"What you're having for dinner, for one." You said. "And whether or not you're a vulpine tabloid journalist trying to corner me into a dubiously ethical interview. That's also a factor."

"So that's how Miss Lounds wore you down?" He concluded. "With wine?"

You rested your elbows on the bar, filled with an intoxicating confidence. "She tried wine first. Then she tried to get me fired because she asked for chardonnay and I brought her chablis. And when that didn't work, she siphoned my gas."

"I wish I could say that was out of character for her." He looked at you, apologetically.

"I take it you've had your own run-ins with Freddie?" You smiled.

"She's tried to infiltrate my practice multiple times." He sighed. "She's entered my office under a fake name with a recording device in her purse."

"What a sick fuck." You said, before remembering you really weren't supposed to curse in front of customers. You covered your mouth. "Sorry."

The corners of his mouth turned up into an amused smile. "Don't apologize. You're right."

“So you’re a doctor?” You asked, hoping he wasn’t the type to be offended by questions. 

“I’m a psychiatrist.” He nodded. “I used to work as a surgeon, but I find the mind much more compelling.” 

"Seriously, though." You pushed yourself back to your feet. "What can I get for you?"

He eyed the wine menu and then looked back at you. "What is your favorite red?"

"My favorite red?" You placed your hand on your collarbones. "On a night like this, I enjoy a nice, dry Argentinean Malbec."

"In that case," he thumbed through the list once more. "I'll have a bottle of Cobos Chañares from 2016, please."

You smiled. You wouldn't mind taking a sip of that if he offered. "Right away."

You carefully pulled the solid black bottle from its crevice and placed it on the bar. You removed the plastic seal and reached for the corkscrew. The bottle opened with a satisfying pop, filling the air around you with the strong, complex and seemingly contradictory aromas.

You poured a bit of this criminally expensive wine into his glass. He smelled it, then swirled it for a moment before taking a sip.

"Redcurrants and vanilla," he began. "With floral notes that operate with the precision of interlocking gears in a clock. Everything in its place."

"So you're a sommelier and a poet?" You tilted your head and filled his glass. "I'll bet you make women swoon at every corner."

You never had the best grasp on flirting, but even you knew that line was awful.

“Are you flirting with me, Miss [L/N]?” He asked, clearly not too worried about the consequences and enjoying the flattery. “Or are you just trying to get a taste of this Malbec?” 

“Little bit of column A, little bit of column B.” You shrugged. “Though you are as handsome as everyone says, I’ve had my eyes on that wine for slightly longer.” 

You fought the urge to slap your hand over your mouth. You had just broken the cardinal rule of workplace gossip. Panic reverberated through your body as you tried to break down his unreadable expression. 

Once again, he just looked amused. “I’ve seen those lingering glances, the way you all whisper and giggle. It’s flattering.” 

You felt your cheeks growing hot. “...I see.” 

“If you tell me what they say about me, I’ll let you have a taste.” His eyes bored into yours. 

You paused, trying to decipher exactly what he was offering. Then it hit you. 

“Oh!” You interjected. “The wine.” 

“Yes, that’s what I meant.” He said. “Dare I ask where your mind went?” 

Your cheeks stung from all the uncomfortable smiling. “I’d really like to keep my job, thanks.” 

“Have you never heard of bartender-client confidentiality?” His voice lowered and his eyes found your lips. “Nothing we say tonight has to leave these four walls.” 

Your insides turned to jelly. He rested the wine glass in his hand and offered it to you. Your hands shaking, you cradled the glass like an 18th century French village prostitute being offered a mug of hot soup. You brought the glass to your lips, the strong, overwhelming smells assaulting your orifices.

You let the wine grace your tongue. You had taught yourself to overcome the sting of the alcohol and focus on the undertones. Your eyes rolled back in to your head and you let out a little noise of pleasure. 

“Christ on a bike, that’s decadent.” You said, gasping for air a little bit. You quickly passed the glass back to him before Matthew could see you. “Thank you.” 

“Now, indulge me.” He instructed, glancing at the fresh pink lipstick mark on his glass. “What do the lovely women of Terroir whisper while I’m just out of earshot?” 

You rested your elbows on the bar and leaned in close. “They say you’re a vampire.” 

Judging by his unchanging neutral expression, it clearly wasn’t the first time someone had made that connection. “Perhaps they’re on to something.” 

“One of our line cooks used to say you were the devil.” You informed him, hoping that was one he hadn’t heard before.

“Used to?” He raised his eyebrows. 

“Until Chase Mulvaney came around.” You instinctively ran your fingers over your bandages, as if to make sure they were still there. It was a nervous tick you’d developed anytime someone brought up that day. “He’s stopped talking about, like, anything having to do with his religion ever since.” 

“It takes a lot to get an evangelist to stop evangelizing.” He refilled his glass. “Do you think he lost his faith?” 

“I heard someone say in passing that it was because he and Chase Mulvaney went to the same church.” You whispered. “But I can’t verify that.” 

“I’d say it’s more likely than a regular customer being a vampire, wouldn’t you?” 

“I wouldn’t trust their word because they made a regular customer into a vampire.” You corrected, hoping he would overlook the fact that you were one of them. “Secrets may stay within these four walls, but they tend to bounce around. It’s only a matter of time before one escapes, and you’d better hope it’s not one of yours.” 

This man must have been an exceptional therapist, because, there you were, baring your soul to him after fifteen minutes and one sip of wine. Occasionally, you were pulled away from the conversation by another customer who had the audacity to also want a drink. But, very few people came to you with the sole intent of drinking on a Tuesday evening. You and the sommelier talked until closing time. 

“Thank you for a lovely evening, Miss [L/N].” He said pulling out his wallet. “You are as delightful in person as you are on paper.” 

“Thank you, but I never caught-” you said, but stopped yourself. “I mean, you never gave me your name.” 

He signed his name on the paper check, then pulled out a fifty and unceremoniously handed it to you. “Now why would you want to ruin the mystery?” 

“Nothing we say tonight has to leave these four walls, remember?” You grinned and crossed your arms. “Come on, I won’t tell anyone.” 

He took the customer copy of the receipt and scribbled something down on it. He the folded it in half and slid it in your direction as if it contained nuclear launch codes. 

“Join me for dinner someday.” He ordered. “I’ll supply the Malbec.”