#more fucked up

[ratfromh]

frenrey yuri vampire? ok?

[teecupangel]

saw the Joker!Desmond idea & the tags about the LoA & a bunny emerged! so here u go for the bunnyvault: Desmond reborn as Talia Al Ghul's twin brother. it would be a little nightmarish with the Leader of Assassin Group Father (with extra crazy) in a death cult, but there would be room for funny bits. like Desmond just Judging Talia's taste in men. *gestures to ALL of Bruce's everything* WHY? R U into this man? doting on/teaching damian the Creed in secret. accidentally leading a schism in the League. * over 200 yrs & what have we actually accomplished "Dad"?* bullying his sorta brother in law. idk

The ask that inspired this one about Joker!Desmond AU which had these tags:

#ngl #the idea of desmond being the leader of the league of assassins #would be a fun idea #especially if we set this before cassandra runs away #so we can have a mentally unstable desmond #try to raise a socially awkward cassandra #it would be both funny #and also a bit tragic

So… Desmond went from one fucked up family to another fucked up family. XD

I think it could be debated on who is a worse father, Ra’s Al Ghul or William Miles lol.

Anyway, he would have a strained relationship with his family, not just with his new father. For one, he and Talia would have grown up being pitted against one another and their competition would be ‘nourished’ by their own father. Talia would probably respect him and care for him as her twin brother but loathe him as her rival because he was a prodigy in the eyes of the League.

Desmond, for his part, would try to be the nice brother (relying heavily on Ezio’s Bleed for help) but Talia can be quite a handful when she feels like it so there’s a bit of annoyed older brother vibe to how Desmond deal with Talia sometimes.

Which would be funnier if Desmond is actually the younger of the twins XD

Also, let’s not forget that the Lazarus Pit is used to ensure that they do get to live that long so… Desmond’s mental state post-Bleeding Effect? It definitely takes a hit every time he uses the Lazarus Pit.

The first time it happens, Desmond didn’t know the extent of the Lazarus’ Pit powers. He had grown up in an isolated ‘community’ (again) and in an unknown world (let’s say that Desmond’s world doesn’t have DC in it) so he just figured it’s one of those long honored tradition.

Then he emerged from the Lazarus Pit and… he sees Altaïr in the crowd of league members…

He doesn’t go to the pit regularly. Not as much as their father but…

He sees them… walking around, always near but too far at the same time.

Then an accident happened and Desmond was dunked into the Pit once more. He was too valuable to let die after all (and maybe… Ra’s Al Ghul did care for him in his own twisted way but, then again, so did William Miles).

When he emerges from the Lazarus Pit, he could hear them.

They talk to him now.

They support him, give him tips and suggestions…

They make him feel… warm.

A warmth that he rarely felt in this place. A warmth that he had only felt maybe once or twice from his father, more times with his twin but they would be so short they felt like they were already fleeting by the time Desmond felt it.

He knew then and there that the Lazarus Pit was dangerous.

Because he also knew… his body had grown stronger.

He had become more.

But the worst part? Desmond didn’t realize that he and the whispers he hears… they were being stripped of their moral compass little by little by the Lazarus Pit.

Desmond does his best not to go to the Pit. But, at the same time, he hears its call. He starts to wonder if the next time he goes to the Pit, he would be able to feel them. To touch them.

Then…

Bruce Wayne came to the League and asked to be trained.

He was… an interesting fellow, to say the least.

He could feel the sexual tension in the room whenever he and Talia were together.

And Desmond tried to keep his distance, more because Talia hates it when Desmond takes her ‘things’ even if Desmond didn’t intend to do it or didn’t even know they were her things from the very beginning.

None of that mattered.

But Bruce saw him.

And among the best of the Leagues, Bruce knew he was the one most challenging of all. His movements were erratic and random but they always strike true. It was like fighting multiple opponents at the same time, weaving in and out of different stances and fighting techniques like flowing water.

And Desmond was, by far, the most normal of the Leagues. As long as Bruce ignored how it always seem like Desmond is looking elsewhere as if someone who wasn’t there was talking to him or how he sometimes nods or makes noises that signify he was listening even though no one was speaking.

Then…

It all came crashing down.

Bruce became Batman and became a thorn in the side of the League.

And Gotham City becomes a beacon to the Leagues.

It’s not all bad though.

Desmond is more or less amicable to helping Batman if it interests him or benefits him in any way. Among the Leagues, he’s the one who Batman could trust the most. Batman knows Desmond has plans of his own for Gotham City and he has no qualms killing those he perceive as evil but Desmond could be reason with… to an extent.

Then… Jason Todd died…

Talia took his body and revived him in the Pit.

And Desmond watched as Jason tries to control himself as he stayed in the League. He was Talia’s though and Talia hates to share so…

He goes to him in secret. Only when they are alone and Desmond is sure Talia would not know of it later on. He tries to teach him how to channel his rage and that primal urge that seemed to come from being revived by the Pit. He teaches him the Creed and what it means to be an Assassin. Not one of the League’s assassin but an Assassin.

When Jason leaves the League, he bears a burn in his left ring finger and Desmond realized…

There was no need to continue to stay in the shadow, quietly and swiftly undermining the plans of the Leagues he didn’t agree with.

He just… needs to take matter on his own hands.

That’s when Desmond starts growing his own faction in the League itself. His moral compass skewered enough that he believes he can ‘fix’ the League and turn it into a real Assassin Brotherhood. He takes in Lady Shiva and his sister. Becomes Cassandra Cain’s guardian later on after the tragedy that pushes Cassandra Cain’s life was unraveled by Desmond himself.

Then Damien was born and Desmond couldn’t help himself. He sees himself a lot in Damien and he knows his sister enough to know she would fuck him up. He does not, however, realize that he wasn’t any better after all. He’s better in hiding it but… the Pit has affected him as well.

Damien would remember his kindness and would be the least inclined to go against Desmond even when he dons the cape of Robin and makes it his own. Desmond would always be the kind uncle who smiled at him and patted his head. The one who thought him how to kill men five times larger than him and how to care for eagles so they would be loyal to him. Desmond gave him a childhood that seemed both normal and strange. Damien would see how easy it was for Bruce Wayne and his family to care for him and feel a pang in his chest because that was the kind of love he felt from his uncle. And yet… his uncle stayed in the League and still continue to smile at him and tell him he’s doing well even when they’re on different side. Damien knows the League is wrong and that he’s doing the right thing but, at the same time… his uncle made him think that maybe… just maybe… No. Damien can’t think that. His father would be disappointed in him if he did.

Damien does not know that Bruce harbors the same ‘maybe’ in his mind. Every time he sees Desmond, he wonders if the League is beyond saving. But, unlike Damien, he does not hold Desmond with rose-tinted glasses. He knows how dangerous Desmond is.

So when Batman and his allies hear that a civil war has erupted in the League, one faction led by Desmond and another faction led by Ra’s… Batman can’t help but question if a League led by Desmond would be a good thing. A better alternative to Ra’s? For who? The League? The world? Himself?

Talia stays with their father, of course, she does. She does it not out of loyalty for their father but because she will always stand against her brother. That was how they were raised.

The Batfamily tries to stay away from all this. But some of them do tend to lean towards Desmond’s faction more. Mainly because Desmond is the ‘nice one’.

It would be Dick who reminds everyone that just because Desmond is nice to them doesn’t mean that they should lower their guard.

They must always remember.

Desmond… is an Assassin.

.

Unorganized Notes (this is gonna be short):

Red Hood would keep his connection to Desmond a secret. All Bruce knows is that Jason was with the League for a while but Bruce also knows that Talia thinks of Jason as hers because he’s Bruce’s and Bruce was hers.

Among the Batfamily, Red Hood and Robin would definitely be the ones to easily team up with Desmond’s Brotherhood.

Cassandra Cain doesn’t become Batgirl or Black Bat in this one (or, if you want her to be part of the Batfamily, not yet). She’s raised by Desmond and has a better childhood this time around although… okay, it’s a better childhood compared to canon but it’s still an Assassin childhood. She’s loyal to Desmond and sees him as her father figure. Although, she’d also grow close to the Batfamily as they team up some times.

Among the Batfamily, it would be Tim Drake who would be more willing to go along the more ‘violent’ plans that Desmond’s Brotherhood may do. Tim Drake is also the one who advocates that it’s better for Desmond to lead the League.

Dick is the one totally against it and some would say that he has no plank to stand on considering he became a Robin to get revenge but Dick is past that entire thing. He doesn’t support Ra’s faction as well and he’s more on the side of, whichever wins, the world would take the fall. The others (Babs, Stephanie, Kate and Duke) are on the fence about this and are waiting on what Batman would do.

Desmond is quite amicable to a few of Batman’s Rogue gallery. Poison Ivy is one of his staunch supporters as their end goal tend to align most of the time. Because of this, Harley Quin likes to call him their ‘bestie from another screwed up family’. She also knows that something is ‘wrong’ with Desmond but she doesn’t pry because ‘that’s not what friends do!’

Desmond likes to loudly say that Catwoman is a better match for Batman just to annoy Talia. He does not necessarily ship Batman with either his sister or anybody else because of Batman’s (gestures to ALL of Bruce’s everything) but annoying Talia is a favorite past time of his.

I absolutely did not include non-Batman characters because then I’d be writing this for far too long than I should but he hates Lexcorp. It reminds him too much of Abstergo XD

[s0fars0perfect]

i love that at any moment i'm watching anything on youtube or television i can just be bombarded with weight lose ads i didn't ask for

and by "love," i mean it makes me wanna commit several crimes

[seijorhi]

alien gojo just makes so much… sense? he’s freaky, unique looking, super powerful, wild card, abducts you bc he’s bored, takes you to his home planet where he’s the strongest but everyone else is still strong and your super weak like whatttttt

to be honest bby i added the alien option to the poll on a whim but if that's what y'all want i'll give you an alien fic <33

but.. it will be a halloween fic which means i get to write fucked up stuff :))

[mayhemchicken-artblog]

in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off

EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through

[aretarers]

mantra when you fuck up is "i'm in my early 20s it's literally not a big deal"

[haroldhighballjordan]

sometimes I randomly think about the time a girl posted in this girls only Facebook group I’m in telling everyone how she broke up with her boyfriend and he lied saying that he lost the spare key she gave him, only to then break into her apartment when she wasn’t home and steal the cat they’d adopted while they were together, but then he denied having done this and she didn’t really have proof that he took the cat since he wouldn’t let her come into his place and look for it. And then another girl saw this post and knew her ex-boyfriend, and she was like “girl. I used to hook up with your mans back in xxxx and I still have his number. If you want, I’ll hit him up and get him to invite me back to his place and see if your cat’s there.” And the OP was like “bet.”

So this woman hit up homie dog, asked him out for drinks, went home with him, slept with him, and then woke up in the middle of the night and TOOK THE CAT. Like she had only said that she would confirm if the cat was there but then she took it upon herself to steal this woman’s cat back. Like she full on Trojan horsed this man and then hit up homegirl like “I got the goods. Where you wanna meet.” And then the two of them posted a photo of them together with the cat to the group.

And I just think women supporting women is so beautiful.

[krysmcscience]

I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.

Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:

Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao

this is so stupid :D

Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.

[valtsv]

are we still doing this because i have a late submission

[payasita]

being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent

[problemnyatic]

when will we talk about the willful helplessness epidemic on here. So many people on this god forsaken website demand to have any and all things that exist outside their personal experiences directly, personally pre-chewed and spoonfed to them. And when you do, they'll then ask for you to swallow for them, too, because, you see, in THEIR experience..,

[inkskinned]

it is hard to explain but there is something so unwell about the cultural fear of ugliness. the strange quiet irradiation of any imperfect sight. the pores and the stomachs and the legs displaced into a digital trashbin. somehow this effect spilling over - the removal of a grinning strangers in the back of a picture. of placing more-photogenic clouds into a frame. of cleaning up and arranging breakfast plates so the final image is of a table overflowing with surplus - while nobody eats, and instead mimes food moving towards their mouth like tantalus.

ever-thinner ever-more-muscled ever-prettier. your landlord's sticky white paint sprayed over every surface. girlchildren with get-ready-with-me accounts and skincare routines. beige walls and beige floors and beige toys in toddler hands. AI-generated "imagined prettier" birds and bugs and bees.

pretty! fuckable! impossible! straighten teeth. use facetune and lightroom and four other products. remove the cars along the street from the video remove the spraypaint from the garden wall remove the native plants from their home, welcome grass. welcome pretty. let the lot that walmart-still-owns lay fallow and rotting. don't touch that, it's ugly! close your eyes.

erect anti-homelessness spikes. erect anti-bird spikes. now it looks defensive, which is better than protective. put the ramp at the back of the building, you don't want to ruin the aesthetic of anything.

you are a single person in this world, and in this photo! don't let the lives of other people ruin what would otherwise be a shared moment! erase each person from in front of the tourist trap. erase your comfortable shoes and AI generate platforms. you weren't smiling perfectly, smile again. no matter if you had been genuinely enjoying a moment. you are not in a meadow with friends, you're in a catalogue of your own life! smile again! you know what, forget it.

we will just edit the right face in.

[dapper-lil-arts]

Can we talk about the kind of woman Applejack attracts.

[spitblaze]

I guess Chilchuck has brought us right back to 'adults who are short are child-coded and if you like them you're a pedophile' discourse huh

[redpapercraness]

to lose you

[jsheios]

splat 2 sketch comic for the starving agent 4 fans (me)