#more from the buzzfeed boys

[sorrydearie]

!: that classic collapse into someone’s waiting arms

(something something sickly victorian child)

“Repeat after me—”

“I’m not a fucking child.”

“—we do not touch the haunted dolls.”

“If they didn’t want people touching them,” Martín argued, “they should have put up a sign.”

“You mean on top of the rope fencing them off from irresponsible people with a death wish?”

Ah, fuck.

Martín hated to admit it, but Andrés had a point there. 

The corduroy rope was hard to miss, actually. Bright-red, it looped around the displayed dolls like a bold-faced challenge.

Strangely enough, the dolls were the only exhibits to be fenced off. All of the other artifacts in Señor Rodrigez Cabinet of Curiosities – dusty old ouija boards, monkey paws, and various occult paraphernalia – were suspiciously accessible.

Probably because Señor Rodrigez knew very well that he'd built his empire on random trash.

Even so. Martín didn’t appreciate the snide comment. He wrinkled his nose, annoyed, and made a point to glare at Tatiana when she laughed at him.

Taking sides now, was she? 

Whore. 

Come to think of it, Martín wasn’t usually so hostile. 

It must be the creepy dolls, staring at him with their dead, beady eyes. Those porcelain faces with round, rosy cheeks. The irritably long lashes, like little spider legs…

It unnerved him. Creepy little fuckers.

“Anyway. I’m calling their bluff.” Martín waved his hand, dismissive. “You don’t actually believe that I’m gonna get possessed by a sickly Victorian child if I touch them? That’s ridiculous.”

The corners of Andrés’s lips dragged down. Just like they always did when Martín ‘disrespected’ the dead. Or the demonic. And, one notable time, the yetis. 

“Of course you’re not gonna get possessed,” Andrés clarified, matter-of-factly. As though Martín was slow or stupid – or both. “You’ll get cursed. Plunged into a life of despair. Bad luck is going to follow you around like a vengeful ex and you’ll be left with nothing. No money, no friends, no love life.”

"So no different to how things are right now," Tatiana chimed in, sticking out her tongue. Martín briefly contemplated pushing her into the display of cursed masks adorning the wall. How dare she butt into this?!

He glared at her. “You’re a nasty, disgusting, absolutely vile woman—”

“Martín!” 

Andrés gasped, and Martín frowned. What, was Andrés appalled by how Martín had spoken to his ex? They bickered all the time, it was kind of their thing.

But then Andrés grabbed Martín’s arm and dragged him close, eyes glued to one of the dolls displayed in front of them. 

“Did you see that?”

Martín blinked. “See what?”

“That doll’s arm just moved.”

“Bullshit.”

“Are you calling me a liar?”

“I’m calling you easily excitable.” Like a hot golden retriever, trained to detect the paranormal. “Maybe the air conditioning ruffled her dress, or something. It is chilly here.”

Andrés shot him an unimpressed look.

“I think I’m knowledgeable enough to differentiate between a gust of wind and a real-life demonic presence.”

“You said that the last few times, too…” Martín trailed off, frowning. 

He hadn’t realized it until now, but Andrés was still holding onto him. His fingers were curled, tightly, around Martín’s bicep. 

It was… distracting.

He cleared his throat, suddenly flustered. 

“Whatever,” he said, playing it off. Like Andrés’s touch wasn’t burning him through his clothes. “The only thing scary about these dolls is their fucked-up eyes. So don’t go pissing your pants—”

It all happened so fast. 

He’d been eager to seem cool and unaffected, and so he’d laughed and thrown out his arms – and knocked over one of the stupid dolls.

It tumbled off its pedestal, frilly dress and laces fanning out like a broken parachute, before sprawling onto the floor in a heap of broken limbs and human ringlets. Its dead eyes stared up at Martín, unblinking. 

Tatiana gasped in horror. 

“Oh shit,” Martín said. “That’s not—”

Good, he’d meant to say, but the words got stuck inside his throat when Andrés grabbed his face, crowding him.

“What are you—”

They were impossibly close, just a hair’s breadth between them. Martín could make out the specks of amber in his eyes, like particles of starlight. He could count Andrés’s lashes, and marvel at the perfect dip of his Cupid’s bow…

Martín’s heart knocked against his ribcage like a fucking ping pong ball. 

“Are you all right?” Andrés asked, searching his face. “I told you not to touch the damned thing. Do you feel any different? Light-headed? Fatigued?”

His words were rushed, and for a split second Martín mistook it for worry. But he knew Andrés better than that, knew how to read the signs: the wide eyes, the hitch in his breath, the flush to his cheeks…

The bastard was excited. About Martín getting cursed. 

Hijo de puta. 

Had Andrés no shame? Did he not care if Martín died at the ant-sized hands of an Annabelle knock-off? What if it toddled into his flat at the dead of night and axe-murdered him in his sleep? Would Andrés get off on that?

Martín opened his mouth, ready to give him a good talking-to, but changed his mind at the last second.

Maybe…

Maybe he could use this to his advantage.

“Actually… I’m feeling a bit faint,” he said, wrangling his voice into a croak. He coughed too, for effect. Look at him – weak and wearied and miserable. The poor, unfortunate victim of a powerful curse. 

He made his knees buckle and slumped forward, as if overcome by a dizzy spell, and Andrés’s arms opened for him. He drew Martín close, encouraging him to lean against him. Just like Martín knew he would. 

Andrés made a cooing sound. His breath tickled the hair at Martín’s temple. 

“Let’s get you out of here,” Andrés said, stroking Martín’s back. “The doll’s power over you will only grow stronger if we stay here.”

Martín nodded, and let out an afflicted moan. For good measure. 

From the corner of his eye he could see Tatiana hiding a smirk behind her camera. Martín couldn’t bring himself to care. Not as long as Andrés kept his arms around him, as long as he allowed Martín to tuck his face into the crook of his neck, and held him close.

Nothing mattered, as long as Andrés gave Martín his undivided attention. 

He’d milk Andrés’s sympathy for all it was worth. 

[sillimancer]

is it bad if you get a story idea from a "wouldn't it be funny if" scenario you made up based on real-life pop stars

[jupiterlandings]

So (Disney’s) Snow White left an abusive household after finding out her only relative wanted to murder her, suffered a full mental breakdown ALONE in THE WILDERNESS, cleaned up a stranger’s home because she believed it belonged to orphaned children & knew how hard it was to be without a mother, talked her way into a new family & made a new life for herself AND YET PEOPLE ARE STILL OUT THERE CRAPPING ON MY SWEET GIRL BECAUSE HER VOICE IS A LITTLE SQUEAKY & SHE DAYDREAMED ABOUT HER CRUSH (who was possibly the only person to show her genuine kindness in YEARS before she met the dwarves)?? Some of y’all need to take a moment to dwell on the beauty & truth of the fact that some of our oldest stories were once so beloved because they were about survivors who broke free of their past with kindness & grace & the fact Snow specifically did so while fitting into a traditional homemaker role (she carved out for herself!) & longing for romance does not mean she is not strong or that her story is too dated to share with the next generation for fear it will corrupt their young minds. If we as storytellers only portray one kind of borderline-cynical strength in children’s stories for fear of sentimentality being seen as old fashioned it eventually it will lead to the next generation mistaking their own quiet strengths for weaknesses the same way the ones before them have.

[swampsandsagebrush]

Buzzfeed Unsolve True Crime, specifically the Bobby Dumbar episode got me into true crime. I saw the Bobby Dunbar episode on Facebook and immediately was hooked on the Buzzfeed Unsolved series. When the boys left buzzfeed and started Watcher I watched everything they put out, even things I didn't enjoy, because I wanted to support them. And when they announced the streaming service and the plan to remove videos from YouTube I was pissed.

And I'm going to be honest, almost a year later, I'm still pissed about it. The content on watcher (minus one or two shows) have lost the buzzfeed vibes (literally two dudes shooting the shit while discussing crime or investigating ghosts). I've watched a couple of episodes since watchergate but I cannot bring myself to engage with their media in a meaningful way anymore.

Its hard to enjoy it knowing that they basically spit in the face of their fanbase. A fanbase that is overwhelmingly young adults and teenagers who cannot afford to live right now. Yes they deserve creative freedom but episodes are costing over 100 grand to make, the office being rented costs too much money, and they made bad financial decisions. It boils down to fans shouldn't be asked to bear the bill of their bad business decisions. Nothing says they have to have an office in LA. They can move elsewhere where things are more affordable. They could downsize staff to save money. They could rent a smaller space. There are so many things they can do to minimize costs.

On the one hand they realized how badly they fucked up and walked the decision back. Shows are still on YouTube and are being released on youtube. Patreons are being honored. But at the end of the day, the things that made me love the boys and their content have become dulled, if not completely lost, and they have become disconnected from the fanbase. And I hate it. I loved them. They got me started in an entirely new genre of podcasts but nothing comes close to hitting the same vibes as them. And I'm in a rut trying to find new true crime/paranormal shows that are similar and cannot find it. Andbim just angry that watcher was basically ruined for me because if bad business decisions and a lack of connection with a fanbase.

[the-third-fish]

What's most tragic about this move from Watcher is that they claim to do it because more money = higher quality shows, but it's that same "high quality" that made me stop watching most of the shows in the first place. Ghost files just isnt fun when every 3-5 minutes they roll some 3d information animation abt a gizmo or gadget that i already think suck and have already seen in every single episode. It's annoying to watch them use them and place any stock in what they produce because it's so obvious the machines are just programmed to produce "ghost data" on their own randomly. To take something funny like the spirit box and smother it another gizmo that cleans it up and takes the fun out of it.

The reason i loved buzzfeed unsolved was never EVER the "evidence" they gathered or even the history of the ghost story. It was the boys. Ryan scared out of his mind and shane laughing at him but still comforting him even though he thought it was all bs. The banter. It was never ever the ghosts that made the show

[stark-ironman]

What about something cute with Hugh where you're also an actor/actress and you go on the buzzfeed puppy interview. You end up falling in love with one of them and surprise Hugh when you get back home with a dog

Puppy Loving

"Hi! I'm Y/N Jackman and this is Buzzfeeds puppy interview!" You say excitedly as the workers bring some puppies out to you, letting them run around all over you. "I'm wearing a new outfit so which one of you is going to pee on it." You chuckle, petting a couple of them on the back while a charcoal dark puppy in particular cuddles up in your lap.

The show continues as you answer every question as honest as you can, smiling when the interviewer brings up Hugh. "So, your husband got to actually make an appearance in your new movie. What was it like to work with him?" She asks.

"Oh, it was amazing. We work so well together. We both respect each others boundaries when it comes to how we want things to run on set and if theres any problems, we just take five and have a private conversation but it's very rare that we have a problem. Honestly he's just an amazing actor in general. I would do movies with him for the rest of my career if I could." You ramble as you try to pet all the puppies, making sure to be mindful of the one in your lap.

The interview wraps up and you stand up, watching as they take all the puppies away but the one that cuddled on your lap the whole time doesn't budge, causing you to pout a little. "Normally the puppies are ready to go and eat after this. This one must really love being around you." The interviewer says.

"It seems so.." You hesitate and ask, "Can I keep this one? I don't want to let them go." You ask. She nods, "Let's sign a quick paper and he is all yours."

You sign everything that needs to be signed and leave, swinging by the pet store and getting everything you need for the new addition before calling Hugh.

"Hey, love. How was the interview?" He asks out of breath.

"It was really good actually. You must have just gotten finished working out." You say.

"Yeah, I just finished. I'm heading up to the kitchen now."

"Bedore you do that, can you meet me in the garage? I ran to the store and need help getting them out of the car."

"Sure, love. How far out are you?"

"I'm fixing to pull onto our street now so like 3 minutes out."

"I'll have the garage open for you."

"Thank you, babe. I love you."

"I love you. See you in a few minutes."

After you hang up, you look at the little puppy curled up in the pet carrier next to you, smiling softly as you pull into the driveway, seeing Hugh standing there shirtless.

You let out a low whistle when he opens your door, causing him to burst out laughing while he helps you up. "This is a sight to see now. If I didn't have a surprise for you, I would let you take me right here." You say pulling him down to kiss you.

"Mm, what's the surprise, love?" He asks. You point to the passenger seat, watching him walk over and smiles when he let's out a gasp, pulling the puppy from the carrier. "Oh my goodness, they're so cute!" Hugh coos, talking some more to the puppy. "It's a boy from what the lady told me. This little guy stayed curled up in my lap and I just couldn't leave him there." You pout as you scratch his ears.

"What's his name going to be?" He asks. "I'm not sure. I wanted to decide with you." You lean against him, petting the puppy softly. "He honestly looks like a Rocky. You want your name to be Rocky?" Hugh coos again and the puppy wags his tail. "I guess it's decided then." You say chuckling.

[poge-life]

heyy!! Love ur writing. Can you do a drew fic where they secretly like each other and during interviews, another cast member is flirting with the reader, and Drew gets jealous. This could be smutty, I guess, but write whatever you're comfortable with.

It was easier said than done. Being in a secret relationship with someone. You and Drew had been dating for over a year but kept it a secret just because you both knew how the media and your fans would tear you both apart. Some days were easier than most; the rumors that started about Drew and Odessa caused a major blow out between you two. You gave him an out, to be with someone he could be with in public but he quickly shut that down.

The group had been swamped with back to back interviews; they were all very entertaining and there was never any dull moment with your friends. You guys were doing an interview for Buzzfeed and you were sat in the front with Austin, Maddy, Cleo and Rudy, with Chase, Madison, JD, and Drew behind you guys.

Drew clenched his jaw as he watched you laugh at whatever Austin had said. He knew he was being ridiculous. That he had nothing to be jealous of but he couldn’t help it. How else was he supposed to interact when he knew everyone was going to try and make it seem like his girlfriend was dating one of his best friends?

“Who have you guys bonded most with this season?” The interviewer asked as you all looked around at each other, “I think we’ve all bonded with each other this season. This season was a lot darker than the rest so we all just kind of talked each other through everything.”

“I think I’ve bonded with Austin more this season,” You answered, looking over at the boy, who agreed, “Definitely. I think Topper and Avery both are slowly starting to realize how deep they’re in with Rafe and Sarah, so we had a lot more scenes together.”

“I think I had more scenes with you than I did with Drew.” You pointed out, looking back at him and boy, did he look pissed. You tilted your head at him, your way of asking if he was okay. Drew just nodded his head once at you before turning to look at the interviewer. You stared at him for a couple more seconds before turning back to face the front.

“Wanna tell me what’s been up your ass this whole time?” You asked as you walked in behind Drew into your shared apartment. He had been quiet the whole car ride home, which wasn’t unusual but he kept his hand on the gear shift. Which was unusual because his hand was always on your leg when he drove.

“I’m fine.” He shrugged, kicking his shoes off before walking into the kitchen. You narrowed your eyes at him before kicking off your shoes and following after him. You leaned against the Island, watching him all but down a can of beer. His jaw was clenched as he glanced over at you before leaning on the opposite counter, “What’s going on with you and Austin?”

You thought you gave yourself whiplash looking over him. That’s what this was about? You and Austin? You let out a dry laugh, shaking your head at him, “Seriously? That’s what this is about?”

“Well, is there?” He asked, walking over to you. He stopped just a few inches away from you, causing you to look up at him. His eyes were dark, pupils were blown, “C’mon, baby. Does he make you feel as good as I do?”

You couldn’t help but clench your legs at his words. Drew knew exactly how to turn you into putty in his hands. You shook your head, going to protest but Drew brought his hand up to your neck, tilting your head up, “I know just how you can make it up to me.”

A/N

Please feel free to let me know if you guys want me to continue this fic!!

[ashleyisartsy]

Problems (objective and personal) I'm not seeing discussed a lot w this new WatcherTV thing, in no particular order:

-Alienates people internationally who literally CANNOT GET the streaming service!

-Alienates casual fans who don't watch or want to watch all of their shows. Putting down 60 bucks a year to watch just one or two shows is kind of insane, at least for me.

-The volume of content Watcher has produced historically hasn't been enough to justify a separate streamer. I understand there's no way a small team could compete with something like Netflix, obviously, but that's what you're trying to do by putting yourself in the streamer market.

-Will this streamer be secure? What steps are in place to protect your viewers info? ESPECIALLY payment info.

-Will it be easily watchable on multiple devices? I watch YouTube videos on my phone at work 90% of the time, or at home on my TV thru my switch. Is this a browser only deal?

-What are the internet requirements for this? Believe it or not most streaming services won't run on my internet personally. I don't have any for that reason. I can watch YouTube on 360p, or on my 2-bar-reception phone data. Not everywhere has stable reliable internet.

-The suddenness and totality of the move was going to be jarring no matter what, if the idea had been introduced gradually or started as a hybrid model to test audience interest there wouldn't be nearly this amount of pushback.

-I understand the people saying "pay artists!!" Bc I am one, and I get that their quality is expensive and they have a whole company's worth of people to support. I do actually think their work is worth paying for! Everyone's is! But convincing anyone to pay for something they previously got for free is going to be a hard sell. They were still getting paid before, they're now just asking us to pay instead of the advertisers. Idk about you, but that's a way bigger hit to my pocketbook than a multimillion dollar company's bank account.

-I get that YouTube can be a really shitty place to be a creator sometimes, and that being beholden to advertisers is something they don't want to be. It's why they left Buzzfeed! They already have a patreon and merch and it's clearly not been enough for their ambitions. But shooting yourself in the foot because your running shoes are wearing out isn't going to make you a better marathon runner. They had to know that there was going to be a not small portion of their audience unwilling to make this move with them (and again, lots literally aren't able to!)

-If they had a free w/ ads option, or even did a hybrid model with whole shows behind the pay wall, or even just ran a fucking crowd funding campaign to help cover costs of new seasons of shows, any of those things could have worked. They don't even have YouTube memberships turned on, which I've personally seen many many channels do even when they already have a patreon. It really doesn't seem like they've exhausted other options, at least from an outside perspective, which is all we have as viewers!

-I get that this has been in the works for a long time, and that there probably isn't a way for them to back out now. But I hope they can find a way to make this more accessible if they want it to work at all. I truly am not wishing for their downfall, but the whole situation is an awful mess.

Idk, rant over. As a lot of you are I'm feeling very disappointed and upset with this one, and I'm not paying for it either. Hope the boys can salvage this one for their and their crew's sake. Would really hate for this to be the end.

[queenpiranhadon]

okay I'm sorry but I'm in celebrity Satoru Gojo married to actress reader chokehold.

Don't know how aware you all are about the one video where Ryan Reynolds interviews Brandon Sklenar because he's playing the love interest of his wife's character and that is PEAK Gojo behavior.

You're actually in a different city while this is happening, off for an interview with Buzzfeed.

Anyways, your upcoming movie, titled In the Stars, is about a young woman named Sora who had been diagnosed with cancer, and with only a few months left to live, she decides to live the life she's always wanted. One of love.

She eventually decides to pursue one of her lifelong interests of stargazing, something she's always been interested in as a child. Sora however never got to achieve her dream of becoming an astrologist due to her father's death at age 17, having to now juggle hospital and funeral bills without a very stable job.

With only a few hours to live however, she goes camping, only to almost murder a man who encounters her campsite by accident because she was startled.

The man's name was Daichi, he was a college professor who taught astronomy and was immediately overjoyed at Sora's enthusiasm for the sky.

The two ended up becoming close friends, regularly going out to camp with each other, and slowly gaining feelings along the way.

However, they're too late.

After one last camping trip, Sora wakes up vomiting uncontrollably and Daichi worriedly takes her to the hospital.

She's hooked up to millions of tubes and liquids, but it's futile. Sora passes away, leaving Daichi to mourn her on earth, hoping she's happy in the stars.

It's a relatively cliche plot, and yet, the movie becomes such a big hit because of you. The way you portray your character with so much genuine pain and longing, is what hooked the world in from the start.

Satoru couldn't have been more proud of you.

He's just a little disgruntled that your "love story" wasn't with him.

He knew it wasn't serious, but Satoru Gojo also tended to have a jealous streak - after watching the trailer for the movie he was unimpressed, because no one who truly loves you would ever look at you that way.

However that knowledge did help him feel a little better because it was just a movie after all, just acting.

That didn't stop him from causing shenanigans though.

Your coworker was a nice guy, his name was Ren Akiyama, and he was just a few years younger than Satoru and yourself.

The interviewer exits abruptly, leaving Ren confused in his chair, only for the famous Satoru Gojo to enter the set and sit in the interviewer's chair, with some cards of his own.

Ren looks around, muttering an "Oh boy, get me out of here", as your husband clears his throat, cameras trained on him.

"So...Ren, is it? You and Mrs. Gojo seem very close, do you call her anything special, like a nickname or-"

Ren cuts him off with a shake of his head. "No sir."

The interview begins to resemble that of every father's first interrogation of his daughter boyfriend, except in very different circumstance as we see Satoru grill the poor man about his relationship with you.

It's hilarious and endearing, seeing how much Satoru loves you and his interactions with Ren are quite entertaining as well.

It's even more adorable when the press catch you and Satoru going into the theaters to watch your movie, even after watching the premiere and seeing Satoru's eyes visibly tear up as he holds you tight, watching Sora's last living moments in her hospital bed, Daichi by her side.

He really does love you so much.

A/N: I acc loved writing this omg hahah - should I write more about this??

[wlntrsldler]

If the boys played “never have I ever” in an interview, what would be revealed to the public?

I SPRINTED TO MY COMPUTER

here's the transcript of poisoned mercury's buzzfeed interview where they played never have i ever as part of their press tour to promote their new album:

interviewer: thank you guys for coming!

luke *smiling while he fixes his mic*: thanks for having us :) we were just talking about how we used to do buzzfeed quizzes when we were younger.

travis: there were many days where we'd be in luke's house back in connecticut and completely forget that we were supposed to be rehearsing because we got caught up trying to figure out which inside out emotion we were.

interviewer: well, i'm glad to hear it because today we're gonna play a game of 'never have i ever.'

chris: unrelated but i fucking love that show. team paxton for life.

luke: dude no. ben is clearly the right choice.

connor: ok mr. enemies to lovers, of course you'd say that.

luke: shut up???!

travis: i think if we took the inside out quiz again right now, i'd get disgust because that's how i feel being in a band with two idiots who are so in love with their girlfriends.

connor: swear to god if i hear another "no you hang up first," from either one of you *looks at chris and luke* i'm blowing my brains out.

interviewer looks around the room, trying to ask the producers what she should do. the video editors are already stressing because they know they have to bleep out a lot of the words the boys are using.

interviewer: .... so let's start with the first question. never have i ever gone skinny dipping.

chris: fuck, how did you get all of us on the first question?

connor: yeah we've gone skinny dipping a few times, but the most recent was last summer. mama c-- shoutout mama c, we love you!

luke: yeah, we love you mama!

connor: she put all of us on timeout and we spent the entire summer at a music camp and on our last night, we all went skinny dipping at the lake with our roommates.

luke: oh shit, i forgot about that. those were good times. *looks at chris* i miss camp bro.

chris: me too.

travis *stares deadpan into the camera*: do you see what we have to deal with?

interviewer: never have i ever had a crush on a friend's sibling.

travis: guilty.

chris *turns his head so fast*: given that you're related to connor and luke is an only child, you better be talking about a non-band friend.

travis *shrugging*: your older sister is hot, rodriguez.

chris: stay away from my sister.

luke *looks at the interviewer with wide eyes*: next question or you'll have a video to submit to worldstar.

interviewer: oh! uh, okay-- never have i ever accidentally posted something to my main account instead of my private or close friends one.

connor *cracking up*: castellan, wanna take this one?

luke *blushing*: this feels like a targeted question because we know the infamous video of me with the handsome squidward filter on (the hozier incident) that was supposed to go on my close friends story! i was so embarrassed. to be clear, i was JOKING. i don't actually flirt like that.

travis: i've seen you flirt with y/n, and you in the squidward video had more game than you normally do.

luke *teasing because he knows travis does not want a relationship*: and yet who's single between the two of us?

connor: oh he got you there.

travis: y/n, if you're watching this, you deserve better. he's a loser. i have better friends i can set you up with.

luke: five star, if you're watching this, you're stuck with me. there's no going back.

interviewer: never have i ever had a song written about me.

chris: this is a great pivot to promote our sophomore album's lead single, "kiss her you fool!" we wrote this song about our front man, luke, here. our second album "optimism don't come easy (unless it's with you)" is out now.

interviewer: i love that shameless self-promo.

connor: i think we as a band can benefit from having some shame, but thank you.

chris *turns to luke*: this will also come as a shock to you, but there's another song out in the world that's kinda about you.

luke: huh? which one?

travis: quinnie, remember her? she was in cabin 7. she wrote the bulk of it, but y/n actually gave her the idea. chris and connor helped her with instrumentals and the song is sick.

connor: it was amazing. quinnie is so talented. if you guys haven't heard her music, i highly, highly recommend it. the song we're talking about is called touch tank. you guys should check it out.

chris: agreed. she's also just a fucking cool person. she's one of our closest friends in the industry.

travis *making a heart with his hands*: we love you, quinnie!

interviewer: okay, final question since we're running out of time. never have i ever gone on a world tour for my band's second album.

luke *laughs*: i see what you did there. that was good.

connor: we are soooooo excited to announce that we're going back on tour! this summer, we'll be seeing all your beautiful faces again. tickets go on sale this friday! we hope to see you there!

luke: check out our band's twitter for more information on how to get tickets and to see if we'll be coming to a city near you.

chris: we miss seeing you guys!

travis: see you guys so soon! we love you!

interviewer: that's all the time we have for today. thank you guys so much. it was a pleasure!

[khaleesiofalicante]

Lunch hours are for gossip and chit-chat for other employees. But lunch hours with Asmodeus are always about brainstorming. The ideas keep getting worse every time. 

“What if I pay someone to do it?” The man asks him this time. 

“That’s prostitution, sir,” Alec notes. “It’s illegal.”

Asmodeus scoffs at that, the same way he does with all of Alec’s feedback. “Alright. What if I tell him that I have cancer and that this is my dying wish?”

“Illegal,” Alec says again, not even bothering to look up from his Kung Pao Chicken. 

“Okay, what about this? I think this idea has real merit. It might actually work out,” Asmodeus tells him, a little giddily. “What if I make one of those dating profiles, you know the ones kids use these days, and I pretend to be Magnus and then strike up a conversation with someone and-”

“Identity theft and impersonation,” Alec interrupts before the man can proceed any further. “Also illegal.”

“Ugh, everything is illegal in this bloody country!” Asmodeus throws up his hands in frustration. 

Alec chuckles at that and shakes his head. “Why is it so important that Magnus gets married?”

“Because he needs someone!” Asmodeus says seriously. “He is very good at being alone, that boy of mine. I don’t want him to get used to it.”

“Some people are better off alone,” Alec shrugs, mostly thinking of himself. 

“This is honestly all my fault,” Asmodeus sighs now. “I never should’ve let him be an only child.”

Alec points his fork at the older man, swallowing his food down. “Here’s an idea for you. Why don’t you build a time machine, go back in time, and have more children?”

Asmodeus hums that. “Considering the process that leads to children, I have no objections to making love to my dear-”

“I am begging you to not finish that sentence,” Alec groans into his chicken.

Asmodeus sighs again. “Do you know what’s sad? I might have more success in building a time machine than convincing Magnus to get married.”

“Maybe if you have a time machine, you’ll find a new hobby other than trying to convince your son to get married,” Alec says dryly. 

“I don't have a choice, Alec!” Asmodeus huffs seriously. “I’m old! I don’t have a lot of time!”

“You’re not even sixty,” Alec rolls his eyes at the theatrics. 

“I’m 57,” Asmodeus informs gravely. “Do you know what that is in tortoise years? 228! That’s a lot of years.”

“Why would you compare yourself to a tortoise?” Alec asks incredulously. 

“Because that’s my emotional support animal,” Asmodeus informs sagely. “Magnus made me do a BuzzFeed quiz.”

Alec puts his face in his hands. “Oh God.”

“So,” Asmodeus says pointedly. “What do you think?”

“I think I need to start having lunch in the cafeteria,” Alec replies, wondering if he should take up Maia’s offer to join their table. 

“So, that’s a no to identity theft then?” Asmodeus frowns.

Work in Progress Wednesdays: Only Fools Rush In

[youkaiyume]

Alright, so I've been a fan of Shane, Ryan and even Steven since their buzzfeed days and I've been watching this whole thing with Watcher moving their content over to their own streaming service debacle.

Like most ppl, I think it's a poor business move to alienate your fans like this, but I've been thinking on it more from maybe a financial perspective. I'm wondering how many people actually signed up for it. I saw a tiktok advertising expert say that the conversion rate for ads--meaning the number of ppl to actually buy something when they see an ad is about 1-5%. Like, right now they have about 2.8 million subscribers. And even though they've lost about 50K since and counting, they probably anticipated some loss. I'm sure they've mathed that if they just get at least like 100K conservatively out of their nearly 3 million fanbase to sign up, they'd be able to make $600K a month from their streaming service at six bucks a pop each month.

Maybe that's worth it? I'm not exactly sure how much they were making before. Ppl say they had 11K subscribers on patreon before but that's just their member total. Actual paid members was about 5K. But despite the controversy, their patreon member count has actually gone up. Today it sits at 12K members total with nearly 6K members paying. So they're making at least $30K-70K+ a month currently on patreon based on their offered tiers. not sure how much they were making on ad revenue alone or sponsors cuz I'm not sure how that stuff works on youtube. But maybe by their own accounting they think the loss of followers was worth it if they can hang on to that small, loyal but paying minority.

Another youtuber has pointed out that if you have a sponsor for a video and it's a one off, it can pay more. Up to $35K. So if that is the peak and they release 1 video a week, so 4 a month would be like 140K a month on sponsor money. And youtube pays about $10 per 1000 views a video, and they average 1 mil each video. So about $40K a month on views. So we can guess that they made about $180K a month currently on youtube (patreon and merch sales not included).

Honestly, if they can reach the goal of 1-5% of their subscribers converting to their streaming platform, yeah they probably would make more money in the long run. IF they can somehow manage to retain as well as grow those number of subscribers on their new platform. And don't forget, they don't plan to delete their current videos on their youtube channel so they'll still be earning revenue from those videos. We'll have to see I guess given how much goodwill they've lost with their audience.

Tbh, I am all for them trying to get paid more for their work but I also think they could have transitioned much differently, like only putting some exclusive content on their own platform while also posting free shows to youtube. Or maybe delaying releases for a week or a month for youtubers. or cutting back your production costs if it's really killing you cuz everyone has pointed out they liked the ghoul boys when it was just a black screen with text scrolling by saying "wheeze." Only time will tell if this move paid off for them.

But I'm not super knowledgeable on how the entire youtube thing works so if someone has some insight, feel free to weigh in.

[firefly--bright]

unearthed.

jean kirstein x fem!reader, modern a.u., buzzfeed unsolved a.u.

summary ; you dont know just how many watchful souls listen to you and jean speak, waiting, watching. maybe it's just you, but the prison air feels warmer. warnings ; mentions of violence, a little horror (? literally just the tiniest bit), talks of death. cringe humor. a/n ; happy halloween my beloveds. crazy that halloween and diwali were on the same day. kinda poetic lowkey. im DEAD TIRED so ykw that means! happy fireflyfic day! (and happy diwali to those who celebrate :)) taglist ; @holding-infinity-and-a-book , @mrsnobodynobody , @hopeless-anti-romantic , @jeanscremebrulee , @berrijam , @happxme , @cherrypieyourface , @imgayandshesanime , @moonmalice , @kivernova , @potaho3frog , @xakilicious , @katestrophes , @gojo-ana , @ppushable , @zombiefiedskeivy

masterlist is in pinned post! ✿ enter my taglist! ✿

The prison wasnt eerie, which should’ve struck you as concerning. 

No, rather, the opposite, the fact that it was a little too comfortable, a little too lived-in to be considered ghostly was what you found…weird. Or maybe it was jean’s presence next to yours, the coldness of the air masked by his warmth and stolen jacket perched over your shoulders that made the air feel a little more breathable.

Connie and marco are huddled over the camera, speaking in hushed whispers - some technical jargon that your brain is too tired to recognize. 

Jean shifted from beside you, adjusting his own coat - not stolen - and thumbed the straps over his chest that snuggly held a smaller camera so it fit better over him. He cleared his throat when he caught you zoning out, “know your lines?” he asked, a prompt for you to speak your mind. 

You smiled cheekily, looking at him under the dim, sole flashlight. “By heart. Scared, jean-boy?” 

“Dont call me that on camera, please,” he says, eyes screwing shut when you shine your light straight into them. 

“Have i ever embarrassed you? You do that to yourself more than i do,” “okay that’s…intentional. It helps with the character im going for.” you snort. “Damsel in distress?” he scoffs, “i had to save you last time, remember?” “that was just an excuse for you to hold my hand, you can admit it. The cameras arent rolling yet,” you tease, bumping your shoe with his worn-out converses. He lets you. There isnt much he doesnt let you do to him. 

“Alright, cameras are gonna start in three…two.. One!” marco’s voice is characteristically calming, even at a higher pitch.

 

Your shoulders stand straighter as you look into the lens, placing the flashlight right under your chin. “hello, watchers! Welcome back to another episode of Unearth - a series where we try to gather evidence of the paranormal to see who wins - a believer,” you say, pointing the light under jeans chin briefly before settling it back under yours, “or a skeptic.” “it’s not a competition,” “right. Of course not.” you say, winking into the camera. Its jean’s turn to speak, his voice a low baritone, and you can see his breath becoming foggy into the now november air. “We are here today at the Marley Prison, rumored to be the host of seventy percent of the state’s most wanted criminals since the early eighteen hundred's. And we’re standing infront of it now and it’s fucking creepy,” “right, and it was also incredibly overcrowded, so-” “-so just, a terrible place to live in.” “yeah, but they killed people,” “...right. Most of them.” “i’ve heard it smells like shit,” you say, almost forgetting that this might get broadcasted, but jean’s eyes on you seemed to have that effect. forgetting the size of your own beating hear, forgetting where you were, melting away any proof of life except his.

He smirks, looking straight at the camera once more. “Right, that’s why i have-” he pulls out a small spray bottle. From what you could read, the text flashed, “FLOWER POWER!” and your smile turned into a laugh. “- this air freshener right here.” “right. That’ll protect us.” “if i get possessed i’d want.. It to smell, like-” “-like flower power-” “right.” now the both of you are laughing, shoulders shaking.

“Great. Let’s head inside, guys,” marco says, smile on his face, and eren puts the camera down to view what he had gathered. 

“After you,” jean says, his shoes scruffing against the harsh stones underneath, spreading his arm infront of you as a guide.

“Pussy,” you muttered, making him sputter.

-

“Alright,” you say, settling on the cold hard ground. Cell number 509, holding the last inmate of the entire prison who passed away in the very same, cramped room. Only a mattress and a sink to keep him company, a small, hand-sized window on the wall opposite to the door, meant to be locked at all times. 

“Dangerous people in this place,” you say, mostly to yourself. Your partner was on the ground floor of the vicinity, in another building entirely, investigating by himself. You decided to split up to see if that might spite any spirits to act, planning on asking questions to the different people that were barely alive, living in the space so freely disturbed. The camera crew were also downstairs, waiting on the two of you to be done. All you had was an old walkie-talkie that connected to jean’s. 

“You there?” his voice - filled with static and concern - reaches the confines of the prison cell. “Yep. where are you?” you ask, sitting in the middle of the floor, pulling your knees up to your chest, your flashlight flickering. “Im at the uh… that punishment place.” “ah. Im in Dean Cooper’s cell.” “oh,” he says. “Why dont we just use our phones for this part?” he asks, a beep following him. You smile. “I dont know, actually. Do you- should we?” “yeah that’d be.. I mean, better communication. Audio..quality - there are so many bugs here,” he speaks as you switch your phone on, dialing his number. He picks up not even a second in.

“Okay, can you hear me better?” he asks, and you rest your back against the thick wall. The door - heavy and cold - is fully closed so you could get a better experience, the full creeps. You nod, knowing he cant see it. “yep. Its crazy that people had to live like this,” you speak, holding the microphone part of your device close to your mouth, his voice on speaker. Something alive to fill the walls, more than your own presence. “Yeah. well it’s crazy that they committed so many crimes, honestly,” “i know.” 

You’re supposed to be filming. Your camera is rolling already and youre supposed to be speaking to a presumed dead person but a holy one is roaming downstairs without you and all you have is his voice as proof. “Hey,” jean calls out, and you thank good network reception and technology to have his voice be so clear, without cuts, real against your hand. “Im at the uh… what’s it called? The place where they could talk to their loved ones right now.” “ah,” “it feels weird.” a beat of silence. “Weird how?” you ask, your voice quiet. 

“Like-” theres a shifting sound at the end of the line, followed by a slight creak. “- weird in the sense that… i dont know, like, people still loved and cared for quote-unquote bad people,” 

You hum. Your head now also rests against the wall, too unaware to keep it up, too comfortable to find your own muscles. “I dont know. You’re always better with the words and shit.” he says, and you give him a small laugh. “Words and shit?” “yeah like, you know what to say.” “i mean, these people are dead, jean, theres a real small chance they can even hear us.” “i know, but like, even to alive people.” its almost 3 am, your phone says, and your heart increases in size, a little too comfortable against your ribcage. 

Have you ever felt that before? the muscle that’s supposed to be contained in a confined space now opens itself up and you have no choice but to let it. It grows, bigger, until youre body is tattered and all that remains as proof is your heart, big and timid, still beating, waiting for jean’s eyes to look at it. You havent. You wonder if any of the people half-alive in this place have. 

“I mean, love is alot of patience,” you start, your fingers fiddling with the end of your jacket. A stray piece of thread. You hear him humming in agreement and continue, “maybe they just… couldnt say it. How many times have you been able to not say that you love someone, y’know? And then you get the chance to but then it gets lost in all the other unimportant things and maybe that… maybe that’s love. The unimportant things.” you say. Your fingers feel funny, tingly, hearing his voice saying something at the end of your sentence. Youre too caught up to say something important as a reply.

So you settle. Listen. “Like, imagining this place alive… y’know. Like not in a creepy way but in like… it’s - like so much time passed, and so much was said here.” he says. His voice holds importance in your hands, and you trace shapes into the side of your phone with your thumb as if its the back of his hand and you’ve taken it in yours, cold and patient, unimportant. Tracing shapes that cant be seen. He hears them though. It’s in every pause he takes, every breath he hears on your end of the line and he wonders if you know how your alive-ness makes him braver than the night. Brave enough to know that speaking is something to be accomplished, that you’re listening.

 

He stares at the glass window in front of him, sitting on the chairs that prisoners used to sit on with hope in their eyes. At least, that’s how he imagines it. Theres a small hole in the window, enough only to catch a couple breaths and silenced sentences and he can only imagine how the other person mightve felt, seeing their loved one behind a blurry and unkept screen.

“Im not going to empathize with them, obviously, but, i feel like… i mean, obviously this place was built to be inhumane. The fact that they even included that section of the prison, though.. I dont know. it's kinda nice.” you say, and he closes his eyes to pretend youre in front of him. Its not that hard, in all honesty, because your voice fills his ears and he’d rather listen to proof of the living - with her shoe kicking his, with her voice teasing his shrieks - rather than the minute but present proof of the dead. He knew someone - barely alive souls, watching - had to be listening to your conversation but he also knew that he was listening to it too and he’d rather commit to the cold of your familiar hands than the unfortunately lived-in warmth of this place.

“It is.” he agrees, his chin tilting up, his shoulders relaxing. One hand in his pocket, the other holding his phone, microphone to his lips with the speaker on. He wasnt alone. His phone’s screen is blurry and unkept, but he wasnt alone. 

“Y’know that’s what i find kind of… i dont know, comforting? About like, something this hopeless. That, like.. There’s a recreational room that they had. Like the option was there for them to sit down there and talk, maybe. I dont know how that wouldve gone-” you say, voice ending in a self-aware laugh, making him smile, “-but it was there, right. Same with this communication room…thingie. Like the option of loving is there.” 

Your voice floats against the walls of the room, touches the glasses separating him and the world, before coming back to him. His chest feels funny, more aware that it’s there. Not just as an organ and something trivial that helps him breathe but now as something larger than himself. Something less candid, hidden under layers of clothing and skin built to be thick, raised to be soft, and it almost lays there, in front of him, inhaling the sound of your voice like it’s a new source of oxygen. And it grows. Alive.

“Option of loving,” he echoes, eyes now fluttering open and looking at the expanse of the tattered ceiling above him, spotting shapes. Option of loving. “Like even now there’s like.. Im sitting here, and there’s notches on the wall. Like the… four standing lines and then a slash through them. Like the hope of getting out isnt gone. Its… cool how humans just do that.” you say. He clings onto every word, his own little prayer against the dark, unsaid but important. Option of loving.

He looks back infront of him, staring at the glass window again. Theres gunk in the corners of it and spiderwebs claiming it as their home in a place as haunted as this. “And even if i dont… believe in ghosts it’s like…cool to think about in the sense that, i dont know, everything is a proof of life. Y’know?” you ask, ready for confirmation knowing that he’d provide it to you. Anything you’d ask.

“Thats… i didnt see it like that,” he admits, “i mean i just saw it as like… confirmation that dead people are dead and that if there’s an afterlife we have to chose a right way to live, something we’re proud of, so that we dont regret it when we’re… dead and roaming the halls, waiting to be found, yknow?” “like grief.” you answer, and he shifts in his seat, getting a bit more comfortable. He nods, knowing you wont see it. “Yeah. kind of.” “that’s…poetic. We should start a podcast-” “-shut up,” and both your voices are broken up by laughs, short and warm and proof of being alive and roaming the halls, waiting to be found.

There’s a dog howling in the distance. No light in the room that you’re in, barely any air, coolness of november flush against your skin despite your layers. His voice holds you, a little blanket, cocooning you around yourself. “Hey, you’re supposed to come find me,” you say, reminding him of his task of peering into the halls, asking ghosts and bugs to come closer to him. Whatever’s alive or half-dead or half-alive or half-already-living. “And you’re supposed to play twenty questions with your hot date,” “i think he’s pretty cold, actually,” you say, he laughs. Another shift in fabric, another creak - he’s gotten up from his place on the chair, now warmed, soon to be claimed by the prison’s musty air, but for now it’s there. Fully alive. 

“My battery’s gonna die.” he says, voice a little solemn, his footsteps squeaking against the floor, rubber on hard cement. “We have walkie-talkies,” you provide, your voice full around it’s edges with your own smile and jean almost asks why youre smiling, but refrains. He’ll ask when he finds you. Or maybe he’ll tell you he’s in love with you. Or maybe the words will get lost under all the other unimportant things that he has to say to you. 

Or maybe that’s just what love is. The unimportant things, layered, hidden, chest and heart, large, warm, growing. 

[levyfiles]

I have no horse in the Watcher race, the only thing of theirs I have ever watched was Buzzfeed Unsolved and Puppet History, both of which have been over for a while. I didn't even know Steven existed until this whole drama started.

What I can say is that, from my mostly outsider point of view, it appears that the Watchers missed the mark on this announcement (as many, many others have explained in detail) and are not handling the backlash as promptly as they should (radio silence is not a good idea when backlash is this intense).

BUT the way the viewers are handling it is childish. The whole "Watcher isn't even as good as Buzzfeed Unsolved anyway" thing feels like sour grapes. Steven being branded a scapegoat seems like a way for the fans to give the ghoul boys an "out" (not touching on why Steven is the scapegoat, you can draw your own conclusions). The most telling to me, however, is that there are very few recommendations threads; usually this "loss" of content is the perfect opening to boost shows with similar premises. Youtube channels with a focus on ghost cases, true crime, and fun banter between friends tend to be a dime a dozen, and yet I have only seen two or three recommendation posts (all rather sparse, too). This feels less like collective grief over a perceived betrayal and more like an attempt at bullying the ghoul boys into rethinking WatcherTV and staying on youtube (with a convenient audience-chosen scapegoat to pin the blame on).

Even as an outsider, you hit the nail on the head. That is exactly what's happening.

The only note I'll add is how sadly comedic it is that the fandom was once so proud of them for respecting days off for their workers. It's really on them dropping this on a Friday. We all sit on the hope that Monday morning isn't a bloodbath

[autisticandroids]

outsider pov

time is fake. these are some outsider pov fics for @spnficrecfest. there's a lot of conceptual overlap here with my casefic reclist, since i'm such an enthusiast for law enforcement chasing the boys. any crossovers do NOT require familiarity with the crossed over material. all of these are gen.

in order of wordcount:

identity theft solutions by ivyfic, 1k

a guy gets a letter in the mail from a bank he doesn't have an account with about a credit card he's never used.

the glomourous life of john dillinger by dwarfankylosaur, 1k

henriksen and his partner have a bet. extraordinarily charming.

not long enough by gayeld, 1k

salmondean tell victor about the supernatural. in particular, meg.

the outsider by denihil, 1k

henriksen has some sympathy for sam.

breathe on, sister (they pass me by remix), 1k

henriksen puzzles over sam and dean saving people from a fire. i would read the fic it's a remix of as well, if i were you.

days without feathers by pyrebi, 1k

jess's mom sees sam on tv.

the mysterious cold oak murders by anonymous, 2k

buzzfeed unsolved does an episode on the events of all hell breaks loose part 1.

perseverance by grumkinsnark, 2k

henriksen interviews a series of season one characters in search of the winchesters.

paper weight by vaznetti, 3k

kathleen hudak, from the benders, pokes into the winchester case at henriksen's behest.

the death defying mystery of the brothers winchester by dyed_red, 5k

buzzfeed unsolved again, this time on our boys.

the angel killer by vikki, 5k

cas is caught by the cops, circa season five.

the henricksen files by ante down, 9k

technically abandoned, but it's more a series of codas and character studies than a story, so it being abandoned doesn't really matter. so old it was written before henriksen's name spelling was canonized. this fic is a series of henriksen-centric codas, following him as he follows the winchesters over the course of season two. it has some of my favorite henriksen characterization, actually.

no way out iii by kelincihutan, 21k, violence warning

criminal minds crossover. real feds meet fake feds, and problems ensue.

minimal loss (what a joke) by eden22, 26k

criminal minds crossover. the feds go into a hunter compound. they meet some hunter children, including ten year old sam and fourteen year old dean. they try not to cause another waco.

this fic is one of the ones that i revisit when i want to be reminded that fanfiction can be good. it's THAT good.

the right to remain silent by boundlight, 27k, chose not to warn

svu crossover. tfw are caught by the cops in new york. i lied, this one is destiel.

nothing to see here by innie, 30k

a canon divergence starting from in my time of dying. kathleen hudak chases the winchesters. a number of other things also happen. john makes a different deal.

[ratinavan]

Recently, someone in the S&Co discord server requested Sherlock and John as Shane and Ryan from Buzzfeed Unsolved, so you know I had to take a crack at it!

If you have any more suggestions for scenes you’d like to see recreated with the pod boys, drop me an ask! You can request anything, not just the spooky boys :3