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jasmines-library · 9 months ago

Note

hi love! idk if you are interested or not but i had an idea of reader being friends with lilly and severus but also with the marauders untill the oh so fateful day were sev ruined his friendship with lilly and reader. i love the idea of lilly ending up in james's arms and reader in sirius's (they are my boys sorry sev🤭)

thank you and again, only if you want! have a wonderful day lovely!

Only Human

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

Warnings: Slurs (mudblood), swearing bullying kinda, negativity but fluffy ending

Word Count: 1.7k

⛧ MARAUDERS MASTERLIST⛧

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

Severus Snape was resting against a tree when it happened. The castle sat opposite him, just a short way across the clear water. The small ripples created by the creatures in the lake and the summer breeze often distracted him from the book that he rested between his knees and his chest as he tucked them up closely. It was this exact reason that he hadn't noticed the band of robe-clad gryffindors trudging up the slope toward him. James Potter led the group, he wore his signature charismatic grin; a smirk that twinged the corner of his lip upwards and made his nose scrunch beneath his glasses, and he had his wand held loosely in his hand. He twisted the delicate tool between his fingers as you would a drumstick. Sauntering over to Severus, he chuckled at his friends, nudging them playfully with his shoulder.

“Snape!” He jested, calling out to him.

His head snapped up, but he kept his back planted firmly against the tree as the group of marauders ran up to him. He squeezed his eyes shut, just hoping that they would turn and leave. But they were bored and Severus, who had been particularly troublesome toward them, had caught their eyes. Severus inched himself up against the tree so that he rose to his feet and began to turn back in the direction of the castle.

James frowned, a look of mock pity set on his face. “Leaving already, Snivellus?”

Snape reached for his wand, but kept his back to them. “Fuck off, Potter. I don’t want trouble.”

“Don’t you know it’s rude to turn your back to someone when they’re talking to you, Snape.” Sirius asked him.

Severus whipped around quickly, his wand poised to cast a spell at them but James beat him to it; with one flick of his hand Snape's wand went flying across the river bank. He paled, the four Marauders stepping closer to him.

“Nice one, James.” Sirius cheered.

The dark haired boy backed up slowly, setting his gaze. The four of them were edging closer, threatening him with their wands when you spotted them. You had just finished class and were heading over to the lake with Lily, arm in arm. The two of you were over there in seconds when you saw your friends threatening each other. Much to your boyfriend's dismay, you and Severus had been friends from the beginning of the first year. You met him on the train; a shy boy with long hair who didn’t quite seem certain of the world. Lily bonded with him quickly, and you followed soon after. It wasn’t long after that that you met Sirius Black. Charming, brave, daring; he was the complete opposite to Snape, but you supposed that was what drew you to him so much. It was their clash in personalities that made the two clash. It seemed as though they were always doing something to wind up the other.

This time it had gone too far. You were unsure of what Sev had done to wind up the Marauders so much, but you and Lily were skidding to a stop beside them in a heartbeat.

James caught a glimpse of Lily’s fiery hair out of the corner of his eye. “Lilyflower-”

“Leave him alone, James.” It wasn’t quite a demand, Lily never had that sort of aggressiveness in her, but her voice was firm. She didn’t want her friend to get hurt.

“Ah, Evans, Don’t make me hex you.” James sighed, a playful twinge on his tongue.

“I’m serious.” Lily repeated when James refused to lower his wand, letting it loll around between his fingers.

“No,” Sirius smirked. “I am.”

You gave him a hard stare through narrow eyes, and his smirk dropped. “Siri. Please.”

The boy nodded, nudging his friend who promptly pocketed his wand. Severus seemed taken back, his steps faltering. He glanced gratefully in your direction, though his anger and embarrassment were unmistakable in his eyes.

“You’re lucky that they were here to help you, Snape.”

“I don’t need help from filthy mudbloods.”

You had expected many things from Severus, but those words were not one of them. He spat them with venom; malice intending to bite deep. And bite deep it did.

You froze, eyes glassing over with tears. Serverus Snape had made an incredibly low blow; as a muggleborn, it was safe to say that it took some time to come to terms with your letter to Hogwarts. You were excited, of course but your parents were far from keen. Lily experienced the same thing with her sister too. Things didn’t get much better when you arrived at Hogwarts either. Some saw you as ‘impure’. Unworthy. Sev knew this and he had chosen to use it against you. Perhaps it was in a moment of spite, perhaps he hadn’t meant to say it at all. But all that mattered in that moment was that Severus Snape was just like the rest of them.

You could see Sirius glance your way out of the corner of your eye, but when he took a step toward you you backed away.

“Fuck you, Snape.” You spat back at him, trying to hide the waver in your voice.

“You should watch your mouth, Snivellus.” Lily glared at him before turning on her heel and making her way promptly back to the castle before anyone else could say a word.

You were left standing between the two groups, both slightly shell shocked, in silence.

Sirius, now full of guilt, opened his mouth to talk, but you pursued Lily before he could even form the first syllable.

The tears came flooding in quickly after that.

Sirius hadn’t seen you for the rest of the day. and that was partly because you refused to come out of the girls bathroom. He had even tried to get Moaning Myrtle to coax you out to talk to him, but still you refused to show your face as you curled up on the bathroom tile. It made his stomach churn.

His pit of guilt dug itself deeper as he sat in class. Sirius’ leg bounced restlessly during potions and there was just as much ink on the page at the start of the lesson as there was at the end. The detention he was also given didn’t help ease his thoughts. His mind wandered to the worse case scenarios. It was his fault for provoking Snape… What if you never wanted to talk to him again? He was up in an instant when the fateful day came to an end and he could return to the common room. He dragged his feet up to the portrait and muttered the words to open it. Every part of him itched to see your face mingling amongst the crowd.

At first, he didn’t see you. But he managed to make out the crown of your head resting against an armchair tucked away in the corner by the fire. His face softened when he saw the tear tracks staining your face where you had failed to wipe them away properly.

You had spent practically the last two hours crying. Everytime the flood stopped, it seemed to start up again. Severus was supposed to be your friend and he had discarded you just like that. The back of your eyes stung, glassy beads threatening to spill again. When you finally braved it enough to make it back to the common room, you couldn’t bear to go up to your room. You hardly spent any time there anyway because you spent much of it lounging around in Sirius’ bed with the other marauders…and you were angry and Sirius.

No… perhaps angry was too strong a word. Hurt. Hurt by his actions and his and James’ thoughtlessness. Being up in your room would have just reminded you of that. So instead you settled down with a book by the fire trying to distract yourself and let the world move around you.

It didn’t take Sirius very long to reach you. He crossed the common room in a few wide strides.

“Love?” Siri asked hesitantly.

You peeked up at him meekly. Your eyes were red raw and puffy, it made the boy frown. Sniffing, you wiped your eyes with the hem of your sleeve. “Oh.. hi Siri.” you mumbled, not quite meeting his eyes.

“Oh Lovey. I’m so sorry.” He melted, sliding onto the arm of the chair beside you.

“ ‘ts okay. It’s not your fault…”

Sirius scowled. You were far too kind for your own good. He knew exactly what you had been through and made him sick just thinking that you weren’t allowing anyone to take the blame for it. “But it is, Dove. I shouldn’t have provoked him. If I had stopped James and just kept my mouth shut then you wouldn’t have had to come over in the first place.”

A tear spilled from your eyes and all of a sudden you broke all over again. “He was supposed to be my friend, Pads.” You blubbered, voice wavering. “He’s just like the rest of them…”

Sirius took your hands in his, pressing a kiss to them. “You didn’t deserve any of this, my love. I am so, so sorry.”

“Maybe they’re right….” You trailed off. “Maybe I am worthless. If Sev thinks so too then-”

“Shh.” Sirius pressed another kiss to your temple as he scooped you up into his arms. Burying your face into his chest you continued to cry. He trailed his fingers over your back. “You’ve never been more wrong in your life, Lovey. You are worth so much more than that. You’re kind, brave and not to mention the most beautiful girl in the world. You’re worth everything to me. Who gives a crap what they think?”

You sniffled, unsure.

“I mean it.”

You looked up at him, wiping away your tears; a ghost of a smile on your lips.

“I love you.” Siri whispered, kissing you softly.

“I love you too.” You settled your head against his chest, shifting to curl against him.

It was there that James and Lily found you later, entwined with each other and sleeping peacefully. Safe within each other's arms.

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

MARAUDERS TAGS:

@hearts4robs @xxrougefangxx

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

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ms-snape · 3 months ago

Note

Hey, can I request a young sirius x reader where he have a crush on her but he' mostly used to flirt with the girls and have he watts but the reader isn't like that and she keeps rejecting him....it' okay if you don't...I Just love your writing♡

Title: Not like others

Warning: flirt sirius

Word Count: 2500+

Masterlist

---

The sun hung low over Hogwarts, casting a golden hue across the grounds, illuminating the ancient stone and sprawling greenery. The Great Lake shimmered under the afternoon light, rippling gently with the whispers of the breeze. Laughter echoed from the Gryffindor common room, where the Marauders had congregated, their typical banter filling the air.

Sirius Black lounged comfortably on the plush armchair, his signature smirk in place as he flirted effortlessly with a group of girls who hung on his every word. He thrived in the attention, relishing the playful banter and the easy confidence that came from being the center of attraction. Yet, amidst the laughter and lighthearted jests, his thoughts drifted. They wandered to her—Y/n, the girl who had somehow breached the fortress of his heart.

Y/n sat nearby, engaged in conversation with Lily and James, her laughter ringing like a melody that captivated him. She was stunning, her features a blend of innocence and strength, but what truly drew him in were her eyes—deep and expressive, reflecting a world of thoughts and emotions. Yet, despite his heart racing at her presence, Sirius struggled with the way he felt about her.

He had always been a flirt, weaving through relationships like a butterfly, leaving behind a trail of admirers and broken hearts. But with Y/n, it was different. She wasn’t just another girl; she had become a secret treasure, something worth cherishing, yet he couldn’t find the words to convey his feelings. Instead, he resorted to his old ways, flirtation pouring from his lips like honey, masking the deeper emotions brewing within him.

“Hey there, beautiful,” he drawled, leaning back with that familiar, devil-may-care attitude as he aimed his attention at Y/n. She glanced up, momentarily meeting his gaze, and the light in her eyes dimmed slightly. It was a subtle shift, barely noticeable, yet it cut through him like a knife.

“Do you need help with your Charms essay?” she asked, a faint smile touching her lips, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Only if you promise to help me pass,” he teased, casting her a roguish grin. His heart sank as he noticed her forced smile.

Y/n turned her attention back to Lily, dismissing him without another glance. It stung more than he anticipated. The fleeting moments where they would steal glances at each other were now replaced with a growing distance. Confusion gnawed at him; he could see the hurt in her expression, but he didn't know how to bridge the gap he had unintentionally created.

As days passed, the pattern continued. Sirius would flirt and charm, drawing laughter from those around him, but Y/n remained distant. She spent time with Lily, her laughter still ringing, but it was tinged with an undertone of sadness that tugged at Sirius’s heartstrings.

It was during a quiet evening in the common room that Remus noticed the shift in atmosphere. Sirius sat across from him, a frown creasing his forehead as he stared into the flickering flames of the fireplace.

“Mate, what’s up with you?” Remus asked, concern lacing his voice.

Sirius sighed, running a hand through his unruly hair. “It’s Y/n. I can’t seem to reach her. Every time I flirt with her, it’s like I’m pushing her away.”

“Have you considered that maybe she sees you as just another fling?” Remus mused, his brow furrowing in thought. “You’re known for your charm, Sirius. She might think you want her for all the wrong reasons.”

“I don’t!” Sirius exclaimed, frustration leaking through his tone. “I like her, Remus. I genuinely like her. But every time I try to show it, I just end up making things worse.”

Remus leaned back, crossing his arms as he regarded his friend. “Maybe you need to try something different. Show her you care without the flirtation. Get her flowers or something.”

“Flowers?” Sirius echoed, incredulous. “I’m not some lovesick puppy!”

“Right, but if you want her to believe that you’re serious about your feelings, you have to show her. She’s not going to believe it if you keep playing the same game,” Remus replied, his voice calm but firm.

Sirius mulled over Remus’s words. It felt utterly foreign to him—this idea of soft gestures and vulnerability. But if it meant winning Y/n’s heart, he was willing to try. He just had to learn how to break through the walls he’d unintentionally built around her heart.

The next morning, Sirius made a plan. He found himself wandering through the Hogwarts grounds, heading towards the greenhouses. The vibrant flowers swayed in the gentle breeze, each petal whispering promises of beauty. He approached a cluster of blooming daisies and picked a small bouquet, the innocent blooms representing the simplicity of his growing affection for Y/n.

Clutching the flowers tightly, he made his way back to the Gryffindor common room. His heart raced with uncertainty, thoughts swirling in his mind. Would this be enough to prove to Y/n that he was different? That he wanted more than just a fleeting moment?

When he entered the common room, Y/n was sitting by the window, her gaze lost in the distance. The sunlight caught her hair, making it glow, and for a moment, Sirius simply stood there, captivated. Taking a deep breath, he approached her, forcing down the anxiety that threatened to overwhelm him.

“Y/n?” he said softly, and she turned to him, surprise flickering in her eyes.

“What’s this?” she asked, glancing at the flowers in his hand.

“Um, they’re for you,” he stammered, the words tumbling out awkwardly.

Her brows furrowed in confusion. “For me?”

“Yeah. I thought… I thought maybe you’d like them,” he said, extending the bouquet toward her.

She hesitated, her gaze shifting from the flowers to his face, searching for something deeper. “Why, Sirius?”

“Because I like you,” he replied, his heart pounding. “Not just as a flirtation or a game. I care about you, Y/n.”

Her expression remained guarded, doubt clouding her features. “You say that now, but you’ve always been a flirt. How am I supposed to believe you?”

The sting of her words hit hard. “Because I wouldn’t do this for anyone else. I’m not trying to play you, I promise.”

Y/n reached out, tentatively accepting the flowers, but the uncertainty in her eyes lingered. “I just… I don’t want to be another one of your flings, Sirius. I’m not like the others.”

“I don’t want that either,” he insisted, his voice earnest. “I’m trying to show you that I’m serious about us. I want to be more than just a passing moment.”

For a brief moment, hope flickered in her eyes before it dimmed again. “It’s hard to believe that when you’ve built your reputation on charm.”

Sirius felt a wave of frustration wash over him, but he held it back, knowing it wouldn’t help his case. Instead, he thought of Remus and his advice. “Give me a chance to prove it. Let me show you how I feel.”

As the days rolled by, Sirius embraced the challenge. With Remus’s guidance, he began to shower Y/n with small, thoughtful gestures. He’d leave her little notes hidden in her books, the words carefully chosen to reflect his growing feelings. He surprised her with her favorite sweets from Honeydukes, savoring the way her eyes lit up with joy each time.

“Honestly, Sirius,” she said one evening, glancing at the assortment of chocolates he’d brought her. “You’re being way too nice.”

“Is that a bad thing?” he replied, a teasing lilt in his voice, but his heart raced with nervous energy. “I just want to show you I’m serious about this.”

Y/n took a deep breath, her defenses slowly crumbling as she began to see the sincerity in his actions. “You’re really trying, aren’t you?”

“Every day,” he admitted, the weight of his feelings resting heavily in the air between them. “I just want you to see that I’m different. That I care about you, not just as a flirt but as someone I want in my life.”

She looked at him for a long moment, her expression softening. “It’s hard to let go of my doubts, Sirius. I’ve seen how you are with other girls. It’s difficult to reconcile that with how you are with me.”

Sirius nodded, understanding her struggle. “I know I have a reputation, but I promise you—what I feel for you is real. It scares me, to be honest, but it’s the truth.”

Their conversations continued, each interaction building a bridge between them, and slowly, the walls Y/n had erected began to crumble. She’d catch glimpses of his true self—the gentle side that cared deeply, and with every small act, he felt himself falling further into the depths of his feelings.

One evening, as the Marauders gathered in their usual spot in the common room, Sirius couldn’t help but steal glances at Y/n. She was sitting with Lily, sharing a laugh over some inside joke, the sound of her happiness wrapping around him like a warm blanket. It was a comforting sight, yet a pang of longing tightened in his chest.

“Alright, Padfoot,” James said, nudging him. “You’re practically drooling over there. Just go talk to her!”

“Yeah, before she gets snatched up by someone else,” Remus chimed in, a teasing smile gracing his lips.

“I’m trying!” Sirius retorted, but a nervous energy buzzed within him. “I just… want to make sure I don’t mess this up.”

“Just be honest,” James advised, his tone turning serious. “You’ve been making progress. Show her that you’re genuine.”

With that, Sirius rose, his heart pounding as he crossed the room. Y/n looked up as he approached, her expression shifting from surprise to curiosity.

“Hey, can I borrow you for a minute?” he asked, a hint of nervousness coloring his voice.

“Sure,” she replied, her smile encouraging.

He led her to a quieter corner of the common room, the soft glow of the fire casting gentle shadows around them. “I just wanted to talk to you… away from everyone else,” he said, his throat tightening.

“What’s on your mind?” she asked, her voice gentle.

“I know I’ve messed up in the past,” he began, his heart racing. “And I know it’s hard for you to see me as anything more than a flirt. But the truth is, you mean more to me than I can put into words. I’m falling for you, Y/n, and I don’t want to hide it anymore.”

Her eyes widened, a flicker of surprise crossing her features. “You’re serious?”

“Yes,” he affirmed, stepping closer, his gaze unwavering. “I know it’s scary and uncertain, but I want to give us a chance. You’re not just another girl to me. You’re special.”

Y/n’s expression softened, a mix of vulnerability and hope reflecting in her eyes. “I want to believe you, Sirius, but it’s hard.”

“I understand,” he replied, reaching out to gently take her hand. “But I promise, I’ll show you. Just give me a chance.”

Tension hung in the air as they stood together, hearts racing in sync. For a brief moment, it felt like the world had faded away, leaving just the two of them amidst the crackling warmth of the fire.

As days turned into weeks, Sirius continued to prove himself, each gesture a step closer to Y/n’s heart. They studied together, shared secrets, and laughed late into the night, the connection between them growing deeper. Y/n began to let her guard down, her laughter becoming more genuine, the warmth of their interactions melting away her reservations.

One evening, while sitting under the stars on the castle grounds, Y/n turned to Sirius, her expression thoughtful. “You’ve really changed, you know. I’ve never seen this side of you before.”

Sirius chuckled softly, a warm smile playing on his lips. “It’s all your fault, really. You make me want to be better.”

Y/n laughed, the sound light and free, and it filled him with joy. “I’m glad. I really am.”

“I’ve been thinking,” he said, his tone shifting as he searched for the right words. “About how I feel. I mean, it’s not just about flirting anymore. I want to be with you, for real.”

Y/n’s breath caught, surprise dancing in her eyes. “Sirius… do you mean it?”

“Every word,” he declared, leaning in closer, vulnerability evident in his gaze. “I want you in my life, not just as a fleeting moment but as something lasting.”

A smile broke across her face, illuminating the shadows of doubt that had lingered for so long. “I believe you,” she whispered, her voice barely audible over the soft rustle of leaves.

Sirius felt a warmth spread through him at her words, a sense of relief washing over him. “Really?”

“Yeah, I do,” she replied, her eyes shining with sincerity. “I think I’m starting to see the real you beneath all that charm.”

Their gazes locked, and in that moment, everything shifted. The air crackled with unspoken feelings, and Sirius leaned in, his heart pounding with anticipation. The distance between them vanished as their lips met in a tender kiss, a sweet culmination of everything they had built together.

As the weeks continued to unfold, the Marauders witnessed the transformation in their friend. Sirius was no longer the carefree flirt, but rather a young man in love, navigating the complexities of his newfound feelings. Y/n brought out the best in him, and he reveled in the joy of being with her.

One day, as they sat in the common room surrounded by their friends, Y/n leaned into Sirius, her head resting on his shoulder. “You know, I never thought I’d find someone like you,” she murmured softly.

Sirius smiled, wrapping his arm around her, pulling her closer. “And I never thought I’d want someone so much,” he admitted, a hint of awe in his voice.

Their friends watched the exchange with knowing smiles, the atmosphere in the room warm and filled with laughter. The Marauders shared their own banter, but the love blossoming between Sirius and Y/n was undeniable, a testament to the power of genuine affection.

With every passing day, Sirius found himself more entrenched in his feelings, each moment shared with Y/n reinforcing his belief that love could exist beyond mere flirtation. And as they continued to grow together, he realized that beneath the charm and bravado lay a heart yearning for connection—one that had finally found its match.

Their journey was just beginning, but the road ahead shimmered with promise, illuminated by the light of their love—a bond forged through laughter, understanding, and the unbreakable connection that comes from truly knowing one another.

In the depths of his heart, Sirius Black understood that this was no longer just a game; it was real, and he was ready to embrace it fully.

As the stars twinkled above them, Sirius squeezed Y/n's hand, feeling her warmth beside him. Together, they stepped into a future that held countless adventures, where their love would grow, unfurling like the flowers he had once brought her—delicate yet resilient, a beautiful testament to their journey together.

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hopefulidiocy · 2 months ago

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helloo!! can i request a professor lupin x reader pleasee :))

in how he’d deal with a very shy, quite aloof student reader who is defo not unwilling btw!! but just very inexperienced in dating stuff. how would he try and court them pre-relationship once they both have this mutual interest for each other and how would that show (glances in class, conversations in the hallway, notes of praise after he returns a paper, etc)

thank u :)))

Most Ardently

Professor!Lupin x Student!Reader

Warnings: fluff, a bit of angst, SLIGHT smut if you read super carefully. My grammar is bad. Let me live.

Word count: 5k. Get snacks, it’s a long ass ride (slow burn)

‼️LUPIN IS 28 AND Y/N IS 19‼️

A/N: I hope you love it!! I think I wrote her more aloof than shy tho <3 thanks for your request!

Goosepimples travel up your legs as you walked through the corridors, cursing yourself for not wearing tights when the sun was high in the sky this morning. You tucked your books under your arms as your robe flew behind you, you were late to class. You hated being late, just as much as you hated answering in class; you shivered as you thought of every student turning towards you hesitating at the door with your cheeks glowing red like always. It was your biggest curse. The fact your cheeks glowed red in any temperature and whenever your heart beat pitched ever so slightly. Everyone knew when you were embarrassed and shy and everyone made fun of you; including your friends.

The DADA classroom door was wide open; you had to halt, not far from the door but far enough so no one would see you waiting there like a numpty. You heard Professor Lupin, his gentle voice carrying through the air as you try to calm your breathing. It’s just a couple of students, no one is staring at you, no one is going to be mean. You thought to yourself as you inhaled through your nose, finally acquiring the confidence (if you can call it that) and made your way into the classroom.

Everyone turned to look. Everyone watched you as you walked, scarily fast, towards the front row where your seat was next to your best friend. She gave you a raised eyebrow, you ignored it though because you wanted the class to continue as fast as possible and you sat, slamming your books on the wooden desk; jumping at the sound that echoed. You looked up and saw Professor Lupin staring at you with a calm, but bored look. Celine, your best friend, nudged you with her pointy elbow. You were confused for a moment, a few students sighing through their nose, and you stared blankly at Professor Lupin who had now tucked his hands in his robe.

“Apologise for being late.” Celine hissed, quietly.

“Oh!” You startled. “Sorry for being late.” Celine cleared her throat. “Sir.” It came across rude and sarcastic but you truly didn’t mean that, you were put on spot to speak and that ached your social battery already.

“Thank you, Miss Y/L/N.” He nodded once and continued on with the class. Finally.

You hunched over your work, your writing started off as careful looped letters that graced your page with beautiful elegance but by the end of the class, you were writing like a six year old; your hand aching. Celine had already packed up when you were finishing your paragraph.

“Must you always write so much?” She moaned. “I want food!” She stamped her foot and pouted, you smiled at your friend always wanting to opt for the dramatics as you began packing away your stuff.

“You’ll survive another ten minutes.” You smiled, loving your friend and her way of words. Professor Lupin was cleaning his blackboard when the rest of the students left, no one thanking him but you did. You always thanked your teachers.

“Thanks, Professor.” You smiled brightly and he looked over his shoulder, giving a flat handed wave with a smile dancing on his lips. You kept eye contact as you walked out the classroom.

That eye contact definitely made your heart shrivel up inside because you didn’t mean to hold it for that long and…. Merlin. Did he think you were weird? Did he think why is this girl staring at me? You tried to dispel those thoughts from your head as you reached the Hufflepuff table, with your friends who were eagerly eating their lunches.

“Wow, Celine, it’s unlike you to be here fifteen minutes past the beginning of lunch!” Jonny laughed, an older student, just by a year.

“Miss Suck-Up was too busy writing a manifesto and I had to wait for her.” She dumped her bags on the floor and slumped onto the bench, instantly piling her plate with chicken, salad and chips. You sat opposite her and silently ate some rice and salad, being the pickiest eater in Hufflepuff.

Deep yellow candlelight’s hung off the ceiling as you curved over your work books, your hand going one thousand miles an hour across your page; so much so you forgot to care about the neatness of it all. It was your fault that your hand was aching, almost feeling bruised, because your DADA homework was due tomorrow. Despite having a nice Professor, DADA was definitely your weakest subject and you tried and tried to get the best grades possible but it just never worked. A hand landed on your shoulder, you stifled a scream as you looked up to see the librarian.

“Library is shutting now, dearie.” She said, patting your shoulder softly. You nodded, swallowing down your tongue and gathering everything into your bag. You slung it over your shoulder, slugging towards the Hufflepuff Common Room with heavy feet. The tiredness was beginning to creep in and it was a great feat to keep your eyes open.

“Miss Y/L/N.” A familiar voice said behind you. You whipped around, suddenly alert and saw Professor Lupin standing in front of you, his wand in front of him with a lighted tip. His hair was slightly askew but he looked nice all the same.

“Um. Hi.” You said, unable to create pleasant conversation because you were too tired but also because you simply didn’t know how to speak to a Professor outside the classroom.

“Late to class?” There was a confusing lilt to his voice.

“Classes finished two hours ago, sir.” You said, your eyebrows raising in suspicion. He chuckled to himself, shuffling on his feet and looking down at the stone floor.

“It was a joke, Miss Y/L/N.” You sucked in all the air and you felt that all too familiar heat bursting in your cheeks, you looked down, clearing your throat.

“Sorry.” You whispered, too embarrassed to look at him.

“No need for apologies, Miss Y/L/N. It was a sweet reaction.” His voice was drunk with warmth.

“I should… probably go. It’s curfew soon.” You said, still looking down and you knew he smiled and said goodnight but you were rushing to the Common Room before he even opened his mouth to speak.

“You have no idea, I was absolutely hammered.” Your friend, Lucas, said; his mouth full of bacon as he spoke over you and to Celine, who was intently listening over her Greek yogurt.

“Where did you go? You disappeared.” Celine said, spooning a mountain of yogurt into her mouth. Last night, Ravenclaw had a Common Room party and they only invited Hufflepuff and their own House; but you were dead to the world by the time it had begun. You do remember, though, your friends stumbling into their beds with slurring words and wide eyes.

You switched off from the conversation as your eyes wandered towards the teachers table where Professor Lupin was deep in conversation with your favourite Professor Sprout. You watched carefully as his bottom lip moved up and down, his eyes twinkling with intelligence as they spoke about a deep mutual interest and you admired the way he used his arms to express his words. But you were staring too much because Professor Lupin caught your eye, a sweet smile on his lips as he nodded in your direction. Your heart jumped in your throat and you turned down at your food, spooning porridge into your mouth so much you had to have Celine bang against your back to stop you from choking. Mortifying.

You couldn’t look your Professor in the eyes when you sat, your back slightly arched and your hands tucked between your thighs as you looked at the large black wardrobe in the middle of the room. Despite all desks being pushed to the sides, you still found a place to perch, so you did. Professor Lupin was gallivanting around the classroom, telling the students about Boggats and the spell Riddikulus.

“Didn’t we do this a couple of years ago?” Celine questioned, you envied the fact that your peers could outright speak to anyone they came face to face with. You couldn’t.

“Yes but with everything that’s brewing, it’s important for you all to understand this.” He replied simply. “Okay!” He clapped his hands together. “Everyone form a singular line.” Celine held onto your hand as you both took place, you behind Celine. Your hands began to sweat as you took the steps forward as students mastered the spell and had escaped to the end of the line. It was too quick and you were next after Celine. She squeezed her eyes shut and imagined a big clown running playfully towards her with a menacing laugh.

“RIDDIKULUS!” She howled with her wand straight at this clown and it bundled to the floor into balloons that filtered through the air. As she turned, she squeezed your shoulder and winked. You tried to smile but nothing came and you stood there, silent, staring at this dark wardrobe. You shut your eyes, squeezing your eyelids so much you feel your brain begin to hurt and you think, think and think. Until your eyes open and you see it. Yourself, scared and crying, with students around you; they’re laughing at you and you look down and see that you had wet yourself. You, in real time, begin to shake, your hands trembling so much your wand clatters to the ground and your heart begins to shake your ribcage as you stumble back. Lupin walks over to you, a slight change in his face. Something akin to confusion, embarrassment or sadness. He makes his way over, his wand at the ready until you notice his eyes; pity pouring out and she couldn’t take it anymore. All eyes were on you as you sprinted out the room. Your breathing laboured and fast as your legs brought you to a skidding halt outside your common room. You leaned against the wall, tears streaming down your face and your heart pounding harder than it has before; breathing deep and hurting your small chest.

“Y/N! You run so fast!” Your best friend ran basically at you, her breathing quick, and engulfed you in a warm hug. Her arms clasping around your back, she cradled you from side to side and shushed, her hand stroking your hair as you cried into the crook of her neck.

You weren’t fully sure why you were crying. Maybe it’s finally realising your nightmarish fear, right in front of your eyes; or maybe it’s seeing Lupin stalk towards you, something akin to pity in his eyes as his wand began to move. Still, whatever it was, the hurt in your chest was splitting you apart.

A few hours later, it was dinner and you mustered the courage to sit with your peers; still reeling from the shock. Lucas smiles at you as you approach the table, clutching your wrists and sitting opposite him. To your surprise, he reaches forward and places his fingers on your knuckles;

“I hope you’re okay, Y/N.” He says softly, a smile growing across his lips and he sits back when you simply give him a nod of thanks.

“We’re not talking about it.” Celine swipes her hand in the air, mimicking a line and slapped her hand on a chicken drumstick, taking it and shoving it in her mouth; speaking again. “Anyway, Professor Snape can do one..” Celine rattled on about Snape, but you were done listening instead you smushed your food around your plate, thinking of Lupin’s sad face and the feeling in your chest. Behind you, someone coughed. Startled, you turned around to Professor Lupin’s chest, in a light green shirt and an askew black tie. Your eyes hesitantly travelled from his chest to his brown beard to his kind hazel eyes that were looking down at you.

“Miss Y/L/N, may i speak with you?” You nodded, swinging your legs over the bench and following him outside the Great Hall, where students were beginning to leave. He turns, leaning against the wall smoothly. “How are you?” He is casual. You are not. So you shake your head.

“Good.” You gulped, shoving your hands deep in your robe pockets.

“I would like to tutor you if it isn’t too much trouble.” He said.

“Why?” But he hesitated. Looking around before answering you, he pushed himself off the wall.

“What happened today…” he sees your eyes well. “It’s normal for a human being to act like that and I don’t want to see a bright student struggle with something she needs to understand, so let me tutor you, every Tuesday evening at 6 until 7PM. How does that sound?”

How does that sound? You weren’t sure. Being alone in a room with a man so incredible at magic and being that sad little student crying over students looking at her would be humiliating. But you want, so badly, to be a good witch and you’re a natural people pleaser.

“Sure. Sounds good.” You manage a smile. He seemed pretty pleased with that, smiling at you and walking back into the Great Hall.

A week later, you’re walking through the corridors as your peers hang in their dorms or the common rooms after a particularly hard day with mock exams in Potions and Herbology. You absolutely smashed the Herbology exam, which was obvious as you were a natural in that subject. Professor Sprout even gave you a bear hug after the exam, when you came out with tears streaming down your cheeks with happiness.

Your tutoring with Professor Lupin started tonight and despite your happiness, you were still terrified of the lesson. DADA classroom door was open and you could hear Lupin speaking, encouragingly and another nasal voice responding. You stand in the open doorway and notice Harry Potter sitting on the steps, his head in his hands, Lupin with a bar of chocolate in his hand, standing over him.

“Ah! Miss Y/L/N! Good to see you, step in, me and Harry are finished now.” He slapped Harry on the back, friendly, and Harry stood up. Pulling his robe on, he looked at you and smiled.

“Hey, Y/N.” He said, passing you.

“Hey, Harry.” You whispered and you stepped into the classroom.

“Take off your robe.” He smiled. “Get comfortable, it’s going to be a bit intense.” He also stripped off his own robe, discarding in on the staircase to his office and holding his hand out for yours. You shrug it off, instantly feeling cold, and hand it to him before covering your body with your arms.

“Are you feeling nervous?” He asked, pushing the black wardrobe forward towards you and your heart pitches; breathing deeply through your nose but it doesn’t do anything for you.

“A little.” You shrugged, fetching your wand from your skirt waistband. You tighten your fist around it, your palms slick with sweat as Lupin gestures you to come forward to face the wardrobe.

“Look straight at it, at your reflection in the mirror and breathe. Deep, measured breaths. Calm your heart to a normal pace.” He was standing behind you, his breath travelling down the back of your neck. You do as he says, closing your eyes and breathing the soft evening air through your nose, imagining your lungs expanding with the oxygen; you will your heart to stop being so fast and the air journeys through your body. Opening your eyes, you raise your wand, pointing it directly at the wardrobe waiting for you to come out of the door. And then you do. You look the same, just as you do now, and you’re crying; crying harder than you’ve ever seen, and you notice first your best friends following you and laughing and whispering until your entire Hufflepuff House are standing around you whispering; then, the worst part of it all, you wet yourself, making yourself small and everyone starts laughing. An echoing sound that bounces off the walls, piercing your ears and your heart begins to fall, through your stomach and it churns. You can’t do it. You gag, turning away from the scene and covering your mouth as you wretch into them.

“Riddikulus!” Lupin asserted, before coming to your aid. “Are you okay?” You shake your head vehemently. “Come on, you can do this, Miss Y/L/N. I know you can.” He tapped your shoulder with gentle hands and you slowly get to your feet, your hands trembling but determined to do this because you need to stop embarrassing yourself in front of him and leaving with the consequences.

You stand, squaring your shoulders and pointing your wand; trying to stop the trembling that seems to even shake your organs. Breathing deeply, allowing the emotions to alert your nerves and then you appear, the same scene as before. You try and try to fight it, tears streaming down your real cheeks and you blink to stop the blurring.

“Ri-“ you stammer, gripping your wand as your grip became loose and you point it, alerted at the wardrobe. You’re wetting yourself now, in front of real life you and even worse, the scene is unfolding into worse. “Riddikulus.” You whispered but then your wand dropped and you turned away, crying silently into your hands.

“Come here.” A soft, soothing motion engulfed your shoulders and you rested your weary head on Lupin’s chest whilst simultaneously keeping the distance between you both. He awkwardly pats your shoulders before pulling away, holding your elbows. “Look at me.”

“I can’t do it.” You said, sniffling.

“You can. I believe you can do this. You are strong and you are capable. Come on, Y/N! Come on! You can do this!” He gripped you by the shoulders, shaking you backward and forward gently until you have turned around. Breathing heavily and deeply through your nose, you do it again. This time something sparks through your veins, you watch the scene unfold in front of you and your tears stream down your face. Sniffing and whimpering, you scream;

“Riddikulus!” And the scene goes away, into a group hug. You drop your wand and shriek into your hands.

O! Yes!” Lupin cheered, pulling out a chocolate bar and giving it to you. “I knew you could do it! I knew it!” You wiped your tears, completely bewildered that you finally did it. You were so far from mastering it and it could’ve completely been by fluke; but you did it, that’s what matters right now. “By next week, you will be amazing at this.” He clapped you on the back. “Well done, Miss Y/L/N.” He smiled gently, his eyes warm and soft as you thanked him and made your way out.

You practically skipped to your dorm, your heart fluttering and pounding at the same time with your achievement. Also with Lupin’s smile and the sweetness that soaked his tone, that made your heart warm.

“You did it, didn’t you?” Celine clutched your arm, her hair in curlers and her face covered with some kind of skin treatment.

“I did it!” You shrieked and she pounced on you, her arms squeezing around your body.

The greenhouse was sweltering today as you tried to mix and create the Rose Growth draught. Next to you, Celine was muttering curse words as she was struggling with it. Professor Sprout walked past and chuckled at her words, both of you were her favourites so it didn’t matter what you said because it always made her laugh. Even though you hardly speak in classes anyway.

“Well done for last night, Miss Y/L/N. I’ve heard everything about it.” Sprout gave you a little wink as you showed her the Rose Growth draught.

“Thanks, Professor.” You whispered, blushing. Celine gave you a little nudge and now she’s been calling Lupin for your boyfriend because you mentioned that he hugged you.

The best part of your Wednesday was having an hour of free period, where you could go into the library and read without being interrupted because no body came to the library during Wednesday. With your book under your arm, you settled in your normal spot, legs curled up to your chest and your back resting gently on the polished wood wall, with a cushion underneath you. Your mind is transformed onto a stormy, rainy day and you are running through a wet field until the man you love, Mr Darcy, comes running after you. You mouth the words as he tells Elizabeth Bennet that he loves her. Your favourite part because you adore the way Elizabeth speaks up for herself; something you wish you could do, but know you’re too much of a people pleaser to speak your mind.

“I love you, most ardently.” You jerk your head up, your breath catching as you see Professor Lupin looking at you. You take a small pause before smiling.

“Have you read Pride and Prejudice?” You asked, shocked that a wizard has read a muggle book.

“It’s my favourite book.” He shrugged.

“Same.” You said quietly, a blush rising to your cheeks. You tried to hide it by looking down into your book; curling your toes as you try to die your enthusiasm. Lupin simply looked at you with a slight smile on his lips, watching as you try - ever so hardly - to quit blushing. He pinched himself for staring at you, so he came to say what he planned.

“I forgot to give you this.” You watched as he reached into his pocket and produced a golden wrapper of chocolate, he passes it to you. “A gift from me.” You take the golden wrapper from his hand, feeling the grooves of the chocolate design; you hold it firmly in your hand and say;

“Thank you, Sir.” You blushed deeply and looked down. He watched you, unwrapping the chocolate and breaking off a piece to give to him; his fingers grazed yours as he took it from you, smiling at you sweetly.

“I’ll see you in class later today. Hope you’ve done your homework.” He sends you a playful wink and walks away. You snuggled into your little nook with a chocolate bar and your favourite book; the best feeling ever.

You and Celine pushed your desks to one side, as did the other students, waiting for Lupin to come forward with the classes task today. There was no wardrobe so it was unlikely they were practising the Riddikulus charm. Everyone gathered, awaiting Lupin who was standing on the small raised stage with his hands deep in his pockets.

“Today we are going to learn how to defend ourselves.” He announced. You and Celine stuck to each other, ready to spar and be friendly with it instead of violent like the Slytherins. Lucas and a boy from Ravenclaw go up to the platform first, their wands at the ready; the Ravenclaw stares a hole right through him but Lucas has always been brilliant at spells. Lupin swipes his hand down to signal the beginning of the sparring and they both start going at each other. As different colours of the spells light up the room and your faces, your eyes drift to the concentrated face of your Professor. You noticed a scar down his left eyebrow where the growth stopped, the way his mouth set in a straight line when he concentrated and the way his eyes gleamed with knowledge and interest at his students. You were still looking when the sparring finished and he looked at you, his eyes light and pupils dilating but you panicked and looked away quickly.

“Miss Y/L/N and Miss Rose, please step up.” He beckoned both of you over and you stared at each other, smiling happily and with that signal both of you started throwing spells at each other. Celine had always been stronger, and she made you step back multiple times until you sent across a strong spell that had her flying across the room but she didn’t give up. She jumped back on her feet and ran at you with her wand; sending you flat on your bottom. She helped you back up and hugged you. It was likely she was going to win anyway and it was fine. Both of you got back into the crowd and as you turned, Lupin was looking at you with an easy smile; you blushed and looked at your feet.

Tuesday evening saw you walking speedily through the corridors to master that blasted spell Riddikulus. You stood in the doorway as you waited for Harry to pack up his things and leave, brushing your shoulder as he walked past. You smiled at Lupin, who was telling you to step inside;

“Poor lad is still struggling with it.” He said, scratching the back of his head. You didn’t respond, just smiled, and threw your robe on the desk nearest to you. He pushed the wardrobe towards you.

“Did you like the chocolate?” He asked, from behind the wardrobe as he pushed it.

“Yes.” You replied, wiping your slick palms on your skirt. He looked at you, a bit confused but it quickly passed when you were determined to get this spell mastered on the first try. You squeezed your eyes shut, thinking of that horror and when you opened them; it was there in front of you. Your sweat beaded down your temple as you tried to, at least, squeeze out the charm but you couldn’t. Your throat closed up and scratched as you as the air tried to come out and make sound, but you couldn’t. As you stood there, he placed a large hand on your shoulder and shouted the spell. You sank onto your knees and sighed hard through your nose.

“I don’t think i can do this.” You said, swiping your hand through your hair.

“You can. You did this last week, you can do it again. I know you can.” He brought you up to your feet and gave it another try. And then another try. But today just wasn’t your day.

“I wasted your evening.” You sighed, tying your robe around you. “Sorry.”

“No, no you didn’t. Every lesson is a learning experience, you should be proud of yourself for even facing your fear without crying, that’s a big step for you.” He smiled at you from his desk, a quill in his hand as he wrote something down. “Here, take this.” He held it out but didn’t move, you had to go to him and, like before, your fingers grazed each other; your heart feeling weird as it happened and you could tell he felt something as well because he sheepishly smiled. “Have a good night.” He gave you a curt nod before you left.

Cozy in your bed, you opened the note that said:

Please, never give up.

R. J. Lupin x

There was a kiss at the end of the note which took you by surprise, you folded the note and held it to your chest, sighing into a smile.

You wrapped your denim jacket around you as you and your friends walked through the autumn air at Hogsmead. In your hand was a bag of chocolate frogs, you always bit the head off first to take them out of their misery and you love every minute of it. The sweetness as it oozed on your tongue and how smoothly it ran down your throat. Celine pointed out your favourite bookstore which was named Magical Muggle Books and you practically ran inside. You inhaled the old book, dusty and lavender scent that drifted throughout the shelves and you walked through your favourite section which was romance. Specifically, classic romance. Your index finger grazes against the colourful spines and hardbacks. Your finger bumped into a hard, sweater chest and your eyes followed your finger, up to a muscular neck and then to a soft but sharp face with kind eyes. Professor Lupin. You looked at him with surprise and confusion, why was he in the romance section? Not that it mattered and you quickly removed your finger, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and smiling shyly.

“Hello there, Miss Y/L/N.” He said, smiling. You breathed in and smelled lavender on his sweater. “Everything okay?” Now his face was definitely confused and you just knew you were glowing red, but thank Merlin for the yellowish candles that hung overhead.

“Yep. Fine.” You said, turning back to the books.

“Sorry. I know what it’s like when someone interrupts you reading or looking for a book. I’ll leave you to it.” He smiled, talking quietly but you instantly turned and almost shouted.

“No! No.” You laughed a little, humiliatingly. “I mean, your company is um… fine.” You smiled, playing with your hair hesitantly.

“Have you read Wuthering Heights?” He asked, both of you walking along the aisle almost shoulder to shoulder.

“Yes, three times. You?” You replied, your hands clasped at the front.

“Five.” He replied, a smug look playing on his face.

“Five!?” You said, excitedly, looking at him with a smile and he looked down at you, a fond smile.

“Yes, five. I am a hopeless romantic.” He laughed, clutching his chest dramatically.

“Sounds like it.” You replied, a little bluntly and putting a stop to the laughter; you didn’t mean too.

“Y/N! How long are you going to take? I’m bored!” Celine shouted from the shop doorway.

“I’ve gotta go.” You said, turning face to face to Lupin and he nodded, a bit grimly.

“Okay. I’ll see you on Monday.” He waved and you waved and you left.

Breakfast filed through the corridors as you and Celine walked, arm in arm, discussing the recent weekend when you see Professor Lupin walking towards you. He didn’t notice you at first, but you looked at him and saw a graze down the side of his face. Weird. You wanted to divert your gaze, however you noticed that you lingered on him for longer than necessary; no longer listening to your raven haired friend. He looked handsome today. He always did. Today is the first time you noticed. His eyes met yours and suddenly the three of you met at the doors of the Great Hall. You simply stared, no expression on your face as they both stared at you like you were crazy.

“Um… Y/N.” Celine began, you turned around to face her with a sorry smile on your face.

“I’ll see you in the Great Hall.” You said, Celine gave a weird look between you and Lupin before sauntering off. She obviously said something to your friends because they looked.

“Y/N-“ he cut himself off, “Miss Y/L/N. How may i help you?” Your heart faltered a little, you weren’t sure why, when he corrected himself. You swallowed your confusing feelings.

“It was … um … nice seeing you at the bookstore.” That’s all you said and you punched yourself for it internally because the look he gave you was so awkward; you felt yourself growing redder by the second.

“It was nice to see you too, Miss Y/L/N.” He nodded and quickly disappeared into the Great Hall leaving you with weird feelings and a flutter in your tummy.

Later that day was the dreaded DADA mock exam, it was just a written exam today and you knew you would smash that; you always did when it came to words. But when you walked in and you saw your Professor, with his sleeves rolled up and no robe, you felt some kind of way. You couldn’t explain it, it was a feeling you had never felt before and you physically had to move your eyeballs away from him. You and Celine sat together, your thighs reacting from the cold wood of the seat as your eyes strained on the parchment in front of you; your wrist growing weaker as the minutes progressed. Every so often you would look up, just a quick break for your brain, and your eyes would connect with Lupin’s toned body; writing something lazily and he scanned the room quickly until his eyes landed on you. He smiled warmly as you both connected, your tummy bubbling and you squeezed out a smile before hastily getting back to your work and you swore you heard a chuckle emit from Lupin.

“I think I deserve a Crucio for that exam. Dreadful.” Celine moaned, handing in her parchment at his desk. You smiled, feeling way differently, you landed your parchment on the desk in front of Lupin; he looked up when you came, taking the parchment from your hands, your fingers grazing and you snatched your hand away; suddenly nervous and almost ran away.

A small vial, emitting pink and white steam as you and your class looked on in awe. The potion that everyone whispered about excitedly at the beginning of the year because they couldn’t wait to finally test it out.

“Can anyone tell me the name of this potion?” Snape drawled, his arms crossed. People murmured behind you, scared to say the word so you stepped forward; for the first time ever in Potions, ever in front of Snape to answer. It took you by surprise, it felt like some invisible force pushing you forward.

“Amortentia.” You answered, Snape looked at you with a face that you couldn’t explain. A little bit disappointed, a little bit surprised and a little bit proud. It was an odd mix.

“Yes, Miss Y/L/N. Amortentia. And can you tell me what it is?” He folded his arms tighter across his chest, his eyes penetrating you. You swallowed your instant anxiety about answering and cleared your throat.

“It’s the most powerful love potion in the world and can be dangerous. It can lead to obsessive infatuation.” You spoke as quickly as you could, just get over it and get over the fact your classmates were looking at you. Snape made a face.

“Come. Step forward. Smell it. It’s different for everyone.” He beckoned, moving away from the vial. You looked at Celine, who nodded her head, beckoning you to go ahead; that there’s nothing to be scared of. Your feet move hesitantly, you noticed your classmates shifting with boredom. The potion brewed in front of you and invited you in, your face slowly approached the steam and instantly your nostrils were infiltrated with tea; strong, sugary tea with little to no milk, sometimes herbal; chocolate, sweet and smooth; lavender, freshly picked from a colourful garden and parchment, dried ink on a paper underneath candlelight. You stumbled back, realising with sheer shock who you were smelling; Professor Lupin. You hadn’t even noticed how beautiful he smelt and how cozy he was.

“Well?” Snape asked and suddenly you were thrown back into the classroom.

“I didn’t smell anything.” You blurted, almost incoherently. Snape raised his eyebrows at you but took your answer and called for someone else to smell it. Celine stared a hole through you because she knew you were lying, but you couldn’t stare back because what the fuck? Professor Lupin? What would he say about this? His own student is in love with him? At least that was what the potion said but how do you know what love is?

Was it love the way you’d look at him and smile awkwardly? Was it love when you got that slight flutter in your tummy whenever he simply looked at you? What is love? Because you certainly don’t have the answer.

You can do this. You thought as you very slowly made your way to the DADA classroom the next day. All through the night you had thought about Potions, you still had no answer and weren’t close to one and all you knew was that fate obviously believed you were in love with your Professor. That was so absurd. You hadn’t even had your first kiss yet, not properly anyway, unless you’re counting Percy Weasley in Year 2 behind the trees when your friends dared you both to make out. That was a peck. Hardly anything and his lips were dry.

Professor Lupin was working behind his desk this time, no sign of Harry, with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows as he marked some work; you watched as he tapped the feather of his quill on his lips as he read through it. Your heart skipped a beat at the way he slid his fingers through his hair, he looked tired but beautiful. You kicked yourself out of that weird trance and cleared your throat, making him jerk up. His eyes softened as he looked at you, he didn’t say a thing, he simply looked with a small smile on his lips. You both stared at each other, your heart doing crazy things inside of you and your brain and worries just melting away as you made your way into his classroom. He scraped his seat back and stalked towards you.

“Y/N.” He said, this time not correcting himself.

“Professor.” You said, in a small voice. But something in him clicked and this trance you both were in suddenly burned away when he cleared his throat and clapped his hands.

“Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?” He glided towards the black wardrobe, pushing it forward. You tried to smile, feeling a little deflated that your bubble was burst. You had began to feel something inside of you growing when you were gazing at each other, someone that you had never felt before and… it was freeing.

Your wand was shaking the fourth time you attempted the Riddikulus charm, tears streaming down your face; you were a real sight to behind in the mirrors of the wardrobe and you attempted to ignore it but it basically made it worse. Lupin was behind you, not too close to make you uncomfortable but not too far to make you feel like you were alone. His face was etched with worry as he watched you squint your eyes and force yourself to look upon the scene. But you just couldn’t do it. Not tonight. You dropped your wand and walked away from it, your tears drying up on your face and your body shaking; you couldn’t cry anymore, you had already destroyed your dignity around him, you didn’t want to completely demolish it to never return.

“I wasted your time. Again.” You said, your voice thick, as you threw your robe on; ready to get the hell out of there.

“Stop saying that.” He demanded, striding towards you. “Never say that again. My time with you is never wasted.” His hands carefully held your cheeks, so he could look you in the eye. Your heart stopped and your mouth went dry as you tried to fight for something to say.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, hoping and praying your breath didn’t smell bad. He searched your face before removing his hands and backing away. Instantly, your face felt cold. You ached for his warmth again.

“Have a good night, Y/N.” He said, a ghost of a smile. You nodded and basically ran out of the classroom like someone was chasing you.

You sat on your chair in DADA, watching Lupin swan through the front of the class, writing with increasing speed on the chalkboard; you had your chin in your hand and watched his wrist move with ease as the letters spiralled out of control. When he turned, his eyes caught yours and he smiled; leaving a watery feeling in your stomach, making you blush and look away. Your eyes glazed over and imagined Lupin walking towards you with that beautiful smile, taking your face in his hands like he did last night and planting a soft kiss on your lips. Gasping, you snapped out of it, causing Celine to look over at you with a perplexing expression.

Your quill worked hard to forget that imagination when a small note flew onto your desk; you felt the flutter before you saw it resting on the back of your hand. No one else seemed to see it. You moved, secretly, and opened the note:

You’re doing brilliantly.

RJL x

Your head snapped up without any hesitation and both of you gazed at each other, his hand was resting on his desk and his other cupping his chin. His smile spread across his lips, his eyes gentle and sweet as you matched the smile; your heart pitching and a fuzzy feeling rising to your cheeks, but you didn’t look away. You saw his eyes roam your cheeks and his chuckled under his breath before breaking the eye contact. For a mere second, you watched as he continued his writing.

“I need to talk to Professor Lupin.” Celine commented.

“Why?” You asked, packing your books in your bag and swinging it over your shoulder.

“I need some tutoring. I heard he’s giving them to some students.” She sighed, walking towards him. Something tilted in your stomach and you didn’t understand it, your throat grew tight as you watched him and Celine speak at length about tutoring. For some reason, a pressure behind your eyes appeared and you had to look away so no one would see.

“Coming, Y/N?” Celine questioned, looking at you.

“Yeah.” You plastered a smile and walked off, trying not to look behind you.

“See you later, Miss Y/L/N!” Lupin exclaimed after you left the classroom.

After your final class and just before dinner, you were roaming the corridors with your edition of Wuthering Heights and your nose deep into it. A familiar pair of footsteps brought you out of your mind, you raised your head and saw that stunning man just looking at you. A sheepish smile on his face as he approached, his hands dug into his pockets.

“Y/N.” The use of your own first name gave you intense flutters and you weren’t sure you could stand for much longer.

“Sir.” You whispered, looking at the space between your feet. His feet stepped forward, closing that space between you. Your head lifted and caught on your breath when his face was so close to yours. His eyes flickered down to your lips before returning to your eyes, he looked away and pulled your arm into the darkness of the corridor. “What are you-“ your words stopped in the air as his hand landed on your cheek softly.

“I don’t know what I’m doing.” He whispered, the darkness making this way more intimate than it needed to be. You swallowed, intending to speak but you couldn’t so you just watched as his eyes flickered back to your lips. “Tell me I’m making this up. Tell me you don’t feel anything. Tell me you hate me.” Your lips quivered, your stomach turning and jumping. Your heart smiling as you felt his breath paint your face.

“I don’t.” You whispered, your eyes flickering to the closeness of his lips to your face. When you answered something crossed his face, you couldn’t understand whether it was happiness or sadness and your heart almost dropped.

“I’m an old man. I’m poor. I have nothing to offer you.” You simply didn’t know what to say so you remained quiet, but you pulled his hands to your chest and held them there for a moment before he leaned in, hesitantly slightly before locking his lips with yours. For a second, you tensed up and let his lips fall over yours before you knocked into the moment and started moving your lips back; your shoulders so tensed by your ears and his hands let go, travelling to your shoulder blades, his fingers caressing the soft skin in circles as his lips educated themselves on your own. Your hands sat on his collarbones, softly scrunching up his robe but you managed to sink into his embrace. He pulled away far too soon, his lips red and swollen as he kept his hands on you; his forehead creating contact with yours as you both sighed into the embrace.

“What do we do now?” He asked, quietly. For some reason you burst into laughter, hiding your laughs in his hands. He was smiling as well.

“I don’t know.” You said, dropping your hands quickly by your sides as a bus load of students passed.

“We… we have to keep this a secret. Whatever this is.” He said, a little bit sadly.

“Whatever this is.” You repeated, whispering. “I think I might be late to class.” You watched your classmates walking by, he looked too.

“Okay… okay.” He said, stepping back. You smiled shyly and walked back into the light of the corridor, spotting Celine and running to her.

Potions proved to be fruitless, you weren’t thinking of the class or the teacher or anything to do with it, instead you thought of Professor Lupin. His gentle hands and soft gaze as he looked at you and touched you; the way he would listen intently to everything you said and that kiss. That kiss that ignited fireworks and internal magic, you smiled in the cup of your hand; not understanding these feelings fully but absolutely loving the way he made you feel. You wanted to see him again.

A few nights later, you and Celine were lying in your separate beds with Celine throwing a ball up to the ceiling and catching it. You were cocooned in your blankets, nice and warm, with only your head poking out as you thought back to the kiss and his gazes and him. You hadn’t seen each other since then and you missed him. You missed him with everything you had inside and whilst you were lying there, you waited for DADA to creep around.

And creep around it did. You didn’t sleep a wink when you dragged yourself into DADA, your professor looking handsome and fresh and he watched you drag yourself to your chair, perching on it. He smiled at you, sending a warm shiver down your spine, making you tingle slightly as you took out your books. Every time he spoke, which was the entire lesson, you were in a deep trance watching as he illuminated with knowledge and excitement.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Celine asked, her eyes narrowed.

“Like what?” You snapped out of it.

“It’s really creepy. I’ve never seen you smile like that.” For dramatic effect, she moved her chair from you. Your heart dropped a little before you realised she was joking. You tried to shake it off but you shouldn’t be so obvious that you fancy your professor in front of people.

At the end of class, you packed away your things before Professor Lupin called you back. Both of you waited for everyone to leave before he pulled you into his arms, closing the door with wandless magic; you snuggled, confidently somehow, your head into his chest and his chin sat atop your crown. Just for this moment, you both relaxed in the embrace and enjoyed it; his heart beat against his ribs and vibrated in your head.

“I saw you smiling.” There was a hint of amusement in his voice.

“Yeah. I shouldn’t be so obvious that I fancy you.” You giggled, feeling confident in his embrace.

“You fancy me?” He pulled away, his hands clasped on your elbows and his face pulled into a joking expression. You blushed deeply and refused to answer, you hid in his shirt; emitting a deep laughter from his gut.

“I should go.” You said, pulling away. Your steps echoing through the room. He nodded and as you turned away, he grabbed your elbow, planting a kiss on your lips; very softly.

Two evenings later, you were in your nice spot in the library whilst the rain slammed against the windows. You leaned on the wooden panel, the crown of your head resting on it with your shoulder as you flipped a new page of Wuthering Heights and sighed with contentment as your eyes danced around the page. By your side was a steaming cup of green tea you managed to conjure. Sip by sip, your mind wandered to Lupin and the way he kissed you in the times no one could see; his gentle lips so careful on yours and the way he wasn’t too hard with you when he would grab you. The way he smiled during every kiss, his hands going no lower than your waist. You sighed, happy, and closed your book; ready for a good nights sleep when you saw Celine tumbling out of the DADA classroom, laughing manically and Lupin following, his hair slightly askew. Your throat shrivelled up, your heart slowed as you watched your best friend stare at your professor as he spoke to her animatedly. Celine was just as hyper as he was and your poor soft heart knocked twice as hard as it did when he first kissed you. You wished, so deeply, that you were as extroverted as she; you wished you could speak to people the way she could, be at ease in any social situation. But that wasn’t you. And you hated it. So you turned the other way, walking as fast as you can; hoping that Lupin didn’t see you.

“Lupin is so funny.” Celine laughed as you and your friends sat in the common room with snacks surrounding you. Your blood boiled a little bit with the use of Lupin instead of Professor Lupin.

“Merlin, do you fancy him?” Lucas groaned, grabbing a handful of jelly beans. Your heart faltered again.

“Who doesn’t?” Celine laughed, throwing a jelly bean at him. “Every girl fancies him. He’s fit!”

Every girl? You swallowed the saliva that was rising in your throat. You hated this feeling, this abnormal anger in your abdomen that swirled around and wanted so hard to be let free. You didn’t know what to do, you ground your nails into your palm, giving your friends a fake smile as you tried to calm the storm in your gut.

Everyone was asleep when you were in your bed, staring at the ceiling with tears forming pools in your lower eyelids. You sniffed them away, trying so hard not to let them fall and truthfully you didn’t know why you were crying because no matter what was said tonight, there was no concrete evidence that girls fancied him and probably threw themselves at him. Who wouldn’t? Not every girl was as shy as you. With stupidity and perhaps naivety, you planted your feet on the cold stone floor, the cold hitting your bare legs instantly just before you wrapped your Ravenclaw robe around you. It was curfew and you had never done this before, but you had to see him. You had to know this wasn’t just a normal thing that happened to him. So in the dark of the night, praying he was awake, you stuck to the walls; getting away from Filch and his smelly cat. You approached the DADA classroom, slowly and silently opening the door and peering up to his office which was lighted and your heart peaked. He was awake. You walked up the stairs with your quiet feet. Breathing deep into your belly, you knocked twice on the door. Some movement, not urgent, happened behind the door before it was thrown open. In front of you, Lupin was a tired mess but still incredibly handsome with his tie undone and his shirt untucked from his chinos. His face was one of surprise and shock, yours must’ve been the same.

“Y/N?” He questioned, wiping his eyes. You shifted awkwardly under his tired gaze, he must’ve noticed this because his hand grazed against your wrist, gently guiding you into his office which smelt of pine cones, old books and chocolate. You swallowed the rising emotion as you turned to face him standing by the closed door, you played with the sleeves of your robe. “Y/N, it’s 2AM. What are you doing awake?” You couldn’t control it anymore so the first tear fell. And then the second. And then the third. He finally saw them and instantly engulfed you with his warm arms, you fell into them, snuggling your head into his chest. “What is it? Why are you crying?” One arm wrapped around your middle and the other was curled over your head, his thumb slowly stroking your hairline.

“Does every girl throw themselves at you?” You sniffed, the tears staining his pale green shirt. You never expected it, but he laughed. And he laughed hard. Making your body shake as his belly went in and out.

“What are you talking about?” He kissed the top of your head.

“I saw you with Celine and you looked so happy to be with her.” Suddenly feeling stupid, you pulled away.

“Y/N.” He sighed. “Are you jealous?” You hadn’t thought about that. You knew these feelings were purely emotional based and not factual in any sense but they still hurt. So you nodded. He chuckled, pulling you in again. “You’re the only girl I’ve ever looked at. I don’t give a shit if people fancy me or want to throw themselves at me. It makes no difference.” He slowly raised your head to meet with his eyes, he brushed away a stray hair.

“Really?” You wiped away all your tears. He smiled, happily, and kissed your forehead with his gentle lips.

“I don’t like seeing you cry.” He kissed your forehead twice before cuddling you into his chest. “You have nothing to worry about Y/N.” He whispered, pushing an index finger under your chin and softly pressing his lips onto yours. Instantly, you melted into his touch. Letting his arms drape around you, your arms reached up and around his neck as you deepened the kiss. Your heart pattering with something you had never felt before, a burning deep within your abdomen. Needing him closer, you pushed your hipbones into him and slowly he moved his lips to your jawline, placing butterfly kisses across to your chin. You giggled, he found a ticklish spot and kept doing it because your laughter created an ooze of affection deep within him. He pulled away, his hair slick with slight sweat.

“It’s you.” He said. “You.” He repeated. “You.” And then he pulled you in again, his lips connecting with yours and connecting to a deep feeling inside of you, one you couldn’t explain as he roamed down the side of your neck. You emitted a very quiet moan, which caused a dark chuckle from him. “You.” He whispered, his breath close to your ear. You threw your arms around him so forcefully your feet were airborne, but he caught you by your waist and your legs were now around his midriff. You threw your long hair to one side and kissed him with a strong surge of confidence that had him clearing his desk of everything it had on it - important or not.

With a start, you woke up breathless in a bedroom you had never seen before. You looked around, a light brown wallpaper with small patterns that looked as simple as dots; a double bed with clean white sheets, comfy as anything; a dark chocolate wardrobe, slightly ajar and a closed bedroom door. With the smell of the night before, you looked to your right to see a curled up lump next to you, slowly moving up and down. Your heart caught in your throat and suddenly the memories of last night swam into your mind; the clearing of the desk, shit all over the floor; a knocked over desk chair, still on its back you supposed; sheets tangled around your legs, curling around you and Lupin, smiling over your body and taking you in with the utmost care and affection. He treated you like a goddess, a magnificent creature and you couldn’t believe you bagged someone so gentle, in so many ways.

Beside you, Lupin stirred, waking up and rubbing his eyes before reaching towards you. His arms were still just as strong as last night and every time he cuddled you. He kissed the nape of your neck.

“Morning.” He said, his voice significantly deeper. Whilst you wanted to stay here, Celine would be wondering why you weren’t in your bed and quickly you had to come up with an excuse that was, at least, a little bit believable.

“I need to go.” You said abruptly, but before you could move, he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you in.

“It’s the weekend, baby. You can stay here.” He kissed your shoulder gently and you sank straight into him, his strong frame and the comfort it brought you.

“Are you sure?” You asked as he pulled you into his side, your hand resting on his shoulder, your head in the space between his neck and head.

“More than sure.” He kissed your forehead softly and both of you sank into eternal bliss.

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