#monster is obvious. i dont even need to explain ''i always felt like a monster long before i was bit'' ''love had only hurt me back but

[junietuesday]

and what if i said that re: adventure time songs "everything in you" is the vibe of ascended bloodweave and "monster" is spawn/professor bloodweave

[ghost-go-roasty-mctoasty]

I know it's been talked about many times before, but I just love the hc that Hunter started falling asleep everywhere in the human realm since he finally felt safe and comfortable enough to let his guard down for once.

Like I'm just imagining the kids a few weeks after coming to the human realm, sitting on the floor of the living room, all staring at Luz as she tries to explain the rules of uno to them (to at least try to get a sense of normalcy back into her life.) Gus is staring at her, wide-eyed, trying to soak up all possible information about this odd human game, Amity is just happy to finally see Luz smiling again, Willow is trying to collect all the green cards and Hunter is just sitting contentedly on his little pillow, Luz's voice going in one ear and out the other, though he is trying hard to memorise the rules. And with every question Gus asks, Hunters head sinks lower and lower, until his chin is resting against his chest and hes completely dozed off. The kids notice, but they don't bother him at all, even though they know his neck is gonna be killing him when he wakes up. They let him sleep, lower their voices, and try not to giggle when the uno cards slowly slip out of his grip. Flapjack is resting in his hair, and for a little while, everything seems fine. They dont need to mention that this is the longest Hunter has slept without waking up screaming from whatever monster was plaguing his dreams.

All of the kids start to notice how often Hunter would just suddenly fall asleep in the middle of doing something. He fell asleep on top of the recipe when he was trying to help Camila cook dinner once, he completely crashed in Luz's room another time when she was giving him a summary of the good witch Azura books, which Luz found odd, since he seemed genuinely interested in what she was saying. He keeps drifting off when he spends time in the garden outside with Willow, but none of the kids say anything when Willow just makes a bed of flowers for him and continues her gardening. They've all noticed how prone Hunter is to falling asleep when theyre with him, all except Amity...

When he's with her, he always stands too tall, or sits up too straight. Amity doesnt really seem to care too much, just chalks it up to their rocky relationship from the past, but she cant deny that it does bother her how rigid he always is around her compared to everyone else. She brings up her concerns to Luz, and Luz tells her that she should try talking to him, and so she does. She goes down to the basement one day to see Hunter stitching up a shirt, all alone. As soon as he notices her walk in, he sits up straighter and puffs his chest out. Even though his movements arent all that obvious or exaggerated, its uncomfortably close to how he used to hold himself as the golden guard. So Amity sighs, sits down cross-legged in front of him, and starts talking, just like her girlfriend told her to. And after a long, emotional talk about expectations and abuse, Hunters shoulders sag and his back relaxes a bit. A few days later Luz walks into the living room to find Amity reading a book, and Hunter sound asleep right next to her.

[jjmjjktth]

Chapter 3: Firsts Lead to Seconds

Lady Papilion sent a butterfly to the Eiffel Tower at the arranged time. She could sense the apprihensiveness and destruction of the Black Cat hero. Guiding her butterly to land on Chat’s baton, she felt the weak mindlink for between the two of them. “Hello, Chat Noir, I am Lady Papillion, your partner.” Chat started at the sudden voice in his head.

“Lady Papilion? What miraculous do you hold, how did you get it, and why are you able to be in my head?” Chat questioned.

“I am the weilder of the Butterfly Miraculous of Metamorphosis and Encouragement; the miraculous was put in my bag; and, the miraculous makes a mindlink for me to speak to you directly and give you power if we both agree.” She responded,”What miraculous do you hold and how did you receive it? I assume it has something to do with cats.” She decided to keep the fact that she knew so much about the miraculous a secret for now, she didnt trust him…. Yet.

“I am the wielder of the Black Cat Miraculous of Bad Luck and Destruction; the miraculous appeared on my coffeetable; and I can destroy anything with a touch.” Chat stated with the same amount of formality.

“We must discuss a plan for dealing with Paeon; maybe patrols of something like that. We will also need to speek with athoraties abou setting up an alert or something.”

“I agree, they need a way to contact us as well. For all we know it won’t always be obvious when there’s a…. what did you call it…. an amok?” at her nod, he continued. “Maybe we could talk to our kwamiis about communication devices and give the local government our numbers?”

“I could talk to Nooroo about that. What’s your kwamii’s name?”

“Plagg”

“Give me a few minutes I’ll detransform since I’m not in a public place.” Lady Papillion transformed without recalling her butterfly. She immediately gave Nooroo a flower petal.

“Thank You Miss Marinette.” Nooroo tiredly said.

“Nooroo is it possible for you to notify me of messages while detransformed?”

“Yes, I’ll know if a message is left while you’re not LP!” Nooroo chirped.

“Thank you Nooroo, let’s rest a bit. I told Chat we’ll be a few minutes.”

After a minute or two Marinette transformed to reconnect with her butterfly in Chat’s weapon.

“It is possible for us to communicate with the miraculous, our kwamii are able to notify us of any messages and relay responses even when we aren’t transformed.”

“Well, its settled then. Will you usually be contacting me from off-site?” The cat questioned.

“Yes, my miraculous is made to be used from outside the battles; therefore, I am not as wellprotected as you while transformed. I do have a place I can use as a base, though.”

“Ok. Can you recall your power so we can test our communicators effectively?” As soon as she heard his request, She called out her butterfly and released it from her service.

A few seconds later, her staff buzzed and beeped. Opening the top, she requested the message be read to her.

“One message from Chat Noir…. ‘How can I be of surrrvice, Lady Papillon.’”

“Respond to Chat Noir with, ‘Since this seems to be working, could you bring the contact information to the law enforcement?’”

“Responce sent…. New message from Chat Noir.”

“Read it please”

“‘On my way’” Smiling, she detransformed and retrieved a flower petal for Nooroo.

“Thank you!”

“No problem, lets make our way back to school though.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful compared to the morning; and people were flocking to Ivan to hear about how he beceme a superhero.

“I don’t have any power, guys, there was this lady in my head who gave me power and guided me through the battle!” He explained for the hundredth time. He sounded exasperated.

“This so-called ‘lady’ must be rediculous if she chose you. I would have ended it the moment it began. Ridiculous, utterly ridiculous.” Chloé, it’s always Chloé. I could hear Ivan shaking in his seat.

“HOW DARE YOU!” Ivan roared, “MY LADY IS A WISE AND RESPONSABLE WOMAN AND YOU CALL HER ‘RIDICULOUS!’”

“Ivan.” I state, drawing on my calming aura. “Can you calm down? Paeon is still out there and, from what I observed, he gives strong emotions physical form.” I was too late.

Rose shreeked, “The feather! It’s back!” The blood drains from my face and I get up to leave the room. As I enter the hallway, I hear a faint “Yes, Paeon” followed by a stampede.

I ended up using a fire escape to get out of the building since no one semed to think of that. From there it was a simple affair to arrive at my greenhouse as it was somewhat out of the danger zone.

“Nooroo, did the amok take the same form?”

“Yes, it has also taken Chloé Borgeois and Mylené Harple captive.”

“Ok, Nooroo, wings rise!” The familiar warmth washed over her, leaving Lady Papillion in its wake. Feeling the rush of emotions, LP sought out Ivan once again. Bonding with a photo he had on him, she spoke, “Ivan, we meet again.”

“I am so sorry! I was just so angry at Chloé, she insulted you!”

“While I am honored you decided to defend me, Paris has changed. As much as I hate to admit it, it is no longer safe to feel negative emotions. That’s what makes Paeon so cruel.”

“I understand, My Lady.”

“Ivan, are you willing to become Ironheart once again to defeat the amok?”

“Yes, My Lady.” She smiled at his agreement and allowed her power to enter Ivan fully. Transforming him into Ironheart in a wake of lavender bubbles, she began to guide him towards the battle.

Chat Noir was already on the scene, arguing with the police.

“This isn’t a failure on our part! This is an entirely separate situation!”

“Then why is the same monster as earlier climbing the Eiffel Tower with the mayor’s daughter!”

“I don’t have all the information yet!”

“Ironheart, can you please open your palm?” I asked. When Ivan opened his palm, an image was projected into the air. Lady Papillion was siting on her throne of metal vines, her sceptre resting on her lap. One of her hands remained on the handle of the sceptre while the other was draped casually over the vines of the armrest. Around her thousands of butterflies, many different kinds, flew around her.  Giving her the image of a Lady in her keep.

“What seems to be the issue, officer….”

“Raincomprix, Leutenant Raincomprix.” the leutenant seemed to be a bit intimidated by the aura of power she gave off. At a nod of her head, he continued, “As a police department, we were concerned about the resurfacing of this morning’s villain despite you two supposedly defeating him.”

“I assure you, the resurfacing of the amok has nothing to do with Chat Noir and I. The man behind the attack, Paeon, posesses an ability to physically manifest any strong emotions into beings for him to control. The victim of this morning mearly got upset enough for Paeon to exploit them again. This will most likely become a common occurrence untill we track down Paeon and strip him of his power.” The leutenant’s face fell at her words.

“We have already left our contact information with the police department,” Chat chimed in.

“We must hurry, the amok has already caused enough damage as is.”

There is a sudden rustling of feathers as the amok put it’s chest towards the sky releasing millions of feathers from inside. The feathers, moving against the wind, rose into the air taking ther form of a man in a mask.

“I am Paeon, the man who controls this sentinel.” Paeon gestures toward the amok. “I have come to rescue you from the villains Chat Noir and the Butterfly. I must retrieve their miraculous to strip them of their power. Look around you, look at all the destruction they caused.”

“Ironheart, put your palms into the air please.” When Ironheart follower her instruction, a much larger projection than earlier filled the space above him.

“Paeon, how lovely to meet you.” Lady Papillion greeted with a sickly sweet tone. “I was wondering when I would have the pleasure of your acquaintance.” She relaxed onto her throne as Paeon scowled. “I am Lady Papillion, weilder of the Butterly Miraculous of Metamorphisis and Encouragement. Chat Noir and I have not caused the damage to uor beloved city, but Paeon tore through the city using a creature formed with the hurt and rage of an innocent teen. Doesn’t that sound more like the actions of a villain?” With that Ironheart lowers his hands and lept up the tower catching the feathers in his shield. A blinding light shone from the shield and the feathers were gone.

Sensing it was time to act, Chat Noir bounded after Ironheart. The battle was short after that. A well times cataclysm and two graceful catches ended the majority of the afternoons excitement.

As soon as the heroes reached the ground, they were surrounded by the press with their questions and flashing lights. It was definitely a new experience for the three.

“Lady Papillion! Ironheart, do you plan on working together for the time being?”

“Chat Noir! What do you think of Paeon painting a picture of you as a villain?”

“Chat Noir! How long do you plan on being a superhero, and how will it effect your daily life?”

“Lady Papillion! Why dont you show your face in person?” There were so many questions and so little space that Ironheart had to send out a little shockwave to get them to back off so the small image of Lady Papillion could speak.

“Ironheart and I will each take one question.” She stated with no room for argument. “I will not appear in person as, like Paeon, my miraculous is meant for distance and leaves me more vulnerable than the average miraculous weilder.”

“I dont know if I will be selected by my Lady again, but if I am, I will gladly accept it.” Ironheart stated and then left.

“Well done, Ironheart. Remember, your protectiveness is both your strength and your weakness. Be careful.” And with that she withdrew her butterfly and released it from her service. Before she could detransform, her septre buzzed.

“One new message from Chat Noir.”

“Read it.”

“‘Purrhaps you could send one of your butterflies to Arc de Triomphe, I would like to speak with mew, winky face.’” She sighed and sent out another butterfly with a kiss.

The butterfly made its journey to the Arc de Triomphe rather quickly and promptly joined with Chat’s golden bell. “You wanted to speak with me?”

“Yes, I would like to see this base of yours so we can work together purrroperly.” Chat demanded.

“No, It would give away my identity or at least narrow it down for you. That is against what my kwamii told me.”

“Would knowing our identities not improve our teamwork, My Lady?”

“It also may hinder it Chat; so, I must say no.” she could feel his disappointment and anger rising.

“How can I trust you if I don’t know who you are?!”

“You will have to. I am goind to send a champion to heal the city. Good bye, Chat.” and she recalled the butterfly; but not before she felt his anger spike.

Feeling around, Lady Papillion searched for someone with the desire to fix everything. She sent her butterfly into a foreman’s clipboard.

“Hello, sir. I am Lady Papillion, what is your name?”

“Lady Papillion! Um…. I’m Rich Bordétte. It’s an honor to meet you My Lady.”

“Thank you Rich. I would like to offer you the ability to fix all the damage from today’s battles, even death.”

“Ok, call me….  The Worker!”

“Rich Bordétte, do you accept my offer to become The Worker”

“Yes, Lady Papillion.”  The lavender bubbles covered Rich; in the same way as Ivan, the bubbles gave him a sunflower-colored hardhat, a safety vest, and a toolbelt with only a drill on it.

The Worker rose into the air and raised his dril and without ceremony pressed the button. From the tip of the drill, various butterflies and moths streamed out to the city covering everything that was damaged and anyone who was hurt or worse. As soon as the last moth landed, The Worker cried out and all the bugs rose at once flying to the sky. Below, the city looked just as it did the day before. The rubble was gone, the people were healed and all evidence of Paeon was gone.

Masterlist - First - Previous - Next

Taglist: @novemberandmay @mysteriouslyswimmingfan-blo-blog @slytherinhquinn @blackroserelina  @buginetye @basenikon @moon5608 

Hello, Jjmjjktth here. welcome to my extremely irregular upload schedule filed by a mix of procrastination and The FeelsTM.

 WARNING!!! It may be one day to two or three months when i upload next!

please be patient :) 

Love y'all!

[darkmulti]

Firstly, just wanna say that I LOVE UR WORK I FAN READ IT FOR HOURS ON END! U HAVE AMAZING TALENT. Also I was wondering if it was ok, to ask for a Yandere BTS royalty headcon of them impregnating you (Even by force if you tell them you don’t want to have a child)

This is not edited so I apologize for any mistakes.

Thank u bb🥰

Edit: WTF I DONT KNOW WHY THE NAMJOON ONE GOT DELETED😭 I’m gonna kill tumblr. 

⚠️: NON CON! Yandere!BTS, slapping

Seokjin always used a condom. You didn’t want to spend the rest of your life with him, you simply had each other for your sexual needs. Jin on the other hand was falling for you. He tried to make it obvious but you were still oblivious. It was another night with him. He was in between your legs, doing the dirty. He wasn’t wearing a condom on purpose. You were too needy to even realize. It felt so good because he was repeatedly hitting your gspot. You didn’t realize until hot fluid filled you up. You gasp and immediately take him out of you. “Jin! You’re suppose to wear a condom! I-I’m probably pregnant. No! My moms gonna kill me!” Before you could freak out even more, Jin hugged you and calmed you down. “Your mother won’t freak out when she finds out that the baby’s father is the king.”

Yoongi always gets what he wants. His parents arranged a marriage with some random chick. After hearing about the news, you were a little heartbroken but also relieved. Yoongi has been angrier than usual. He’s been taking that anger out on you for some reason. Yelling at you, aggressive sex, being extra possessive. The man you once loved whole heartedly has turned into a scary monster. Yoongi on the other hand was even more frustrated. He wanted to marry you not some random chick. The only way he could escape out of this marriage is if he gets you pregnant. He didn’t waste anymore time. He ran to your house and explained the situation. You look at him in disbelief. “Yoongi, I want you to be happy with your wife. It’s okay. Don’t worry about me. Your wife will also make you very happy and give you children. You’ll fall in love again.” He looked at you with a bizarre expression on his face. “Are you hearing yourself? You’re just gonna give up on us just like that? Did I ever mean anything to you?” You sigh, “of course you did. But I can’t interfere with your marriage. Your parents hold a lot of power. They can kill my family. I can’t let that happen.” Yoongi was pissed off. You didn’t seem to be sad. Was he just a toy for you? Yoongi didn’t care if you didn’t want to be with him. To save himself from this marriage, he forcefully took you. You tried to crawl away but he pulled you back and slapped your ass. “I’m getting married to you! You’re gonna have my children and we’ll be a happy family.”

Hoseok never forced anything on you. That’s not how his mom raised him. Yes, the husband has power over his wife but after learning what his mother had been through, he hated other men. Hoseok was a gentlemen. The husband every girl wanted. You were his lucky wife. He never brought up having a family, but you didn’t mind. You accidentally made Hoseok jealous by talking to one of his friends. After the event, you both arrived at your shared room and he was all up on you. He wasn’t screaming or anything. He was being possessive. “Have you forgotten who you belong to? Mmh? Let me remind you.” Usually, Hoseok is a soft dom. But tonight he became a hard dom. He had you screaming and crying his name out of pleasure. He kept reminding you that he was going to “pound his babies into your swollen pussy.”

Jimin: You didn’t want kids. They were annoying. You never told Jimin though. You knew that he adored children and you being his wife would have to give him some eventually. But you couldn’t face reality. You were afraid that you wouldn’t have a connection with your kid. You had a rough childhood which is why you did not want kids. You’re traumatized. Jimin was out, seeing how the city was doing. Since he will become king soon, he wants to learn how to improve everyone’s life style. While he was out, a rumour started going around. Apparently you cheated on him with another man. Jimin had noticed that you became distant from him but he still trusted you. But now there are people saying that you’re cheating on him. It all made sense to him now. He rushed back home and didn’t hold back. He yelled at you then slapped you without letting you explain yourself. He ripped your dress off you covered your mouth before taking you. “You fucking slut, I’ll show you who you belong to!” Every time he came in you, you cried harder. “P-please Jimin, I don’t want kids.” He held onto your jaw and looked you right in the eyes. “Too bad.”

Taehyung has been very vocal about wanting kids. You - his arranged wife - weren’t ready for kids. Especially not his kids. Taehyung wasn’t a gentlemen. Well, in front of his mother and family, he was. But behind the scenes he was aggressive with you. He wanted a typical, wife worships husband marriage. You were getting ready for bed when he walked in. He helped you take your necklace off and fixed your hair. His arms wrap around your waist and he placed his chin on your shoulder. “Don’t you think we should start a family?” You quietly whisper a “no” and avoid eye contact with him. “Why not? They’re gonna think that you have an infertility issue. My mother will flip and I’ll have to marry another girl who can get pregnant.” You turn around and face him. “Then marry another girl! I’d rather die than have your baby.” Taehyung slapped you. He picked you up and threw you on the bed. “Why can’t you just obey me for once?! I want a child. You’re gonna give me a child.” You did struggle under him. You kicked, cried, begged, screamed but nothing worked. You didn’t get out of his grip in time. He was already cumming in you. He didn’t stop until he felt confident that you were pregnant. The following week you experienced morning sickness and your period being late, confirming that you were pregnant.

Jungkook: He kidnapped you and kept you locked up in the basement of his palace. He was an arrogant prince and you had every right to call him out. You made him look like a fool and he was angered by it. The following night he kidnapped you and showed you who’s in control. Jungkook could destroy your life in a blink of an eye so you had to obey him for the sake of your parents. After being his doll for god knows how long, he brought you upstairs to his bedroom and had unprotected sex with you. You were too scared and weak to defend yourself. But you did warn him that you might get pregnant. He had the most aggressive sex with you to the point where you couldn’t do it anymore. You cried into the pillow and begged him to stop. His cum was overflowing in you. “Please, I’m gonna get p-pregnant.” Little did you know, that’s exactly what he wanted.

[glassheartjukebox]

the art of obliviousness

feat. ushijima

a/n: aoba johsai, specifically makki, being a good friend! makes! my! heart! go! ba boom! reblogs are always appreciated. find the rest of the soulmate au special here

2k words

6 fucking tallies. the marks on your arm mocked you, letting you know the opportunity to meet your twin flame slipped through your fingers like sand over and over and over again.

III

excitement overwhelmed your body when you stripped down after a long day and noticed the first three marks on your forearm. most people didn’t meet their soulmate on the first pass (or in your case, three passes in one day), but this meant he was definitely in miyagi.

to makki:my tallies showed up !!!

to makki: [image attachment]

From makki: aye thats great

from makki: watch it be the obnoxious johzenji guy who wouldnt take a hint

to makki: why would you wish that on me

to makki: best friend card = revoked

from makki: be still my beating heart.

from makki: you’ve wounded me

you giggled lightly, reminiscing on the events of the day

the volleyball tournament was brutal. aoba johsai lost their chance to go to nationals. your throat was raw from screaming and cheering for them. nonetheless, you were proud of your boys. oikawa put in his all, iwaizumi was blossoming into a great future ace, and makki and mattsun’s blocks were immaculate. you were sure by the next tournament they could destroy shiratorizawa.

transferring to aoba johsai in your second year and meeting makki changed your life for the better. he’d roped you into managing their rowdy team. you had to admit, the other volleyball teams were… intimidating. the tall guys from the other teams towered over almost everyone and walked around with stern looks on their faces. even worse were the guys that hit on you despite your obvious manager uniform (iwaizumi helped you to fend them off). the most physically imposing team by far was shiratorizawa. their stony faced ace and crackhead-esque middle blocker were jarring to say the least. but at least they were professional and polite to you. (expressing the sentiment earned you the privilege of dealing with a pouty oikawa).

your first tournament was a whirlwind. you had barely registered anything other than encouraging your boys. it was all so intense. checking your arm for tally marks wasn’t exactly your priority, especially with your tracksuit jacket on. consequently, you weren’t too discouraged by the three marks glaring back at you from your arms. you would find him eventually

IIII

the first tournament of your third year had commenced and the pressure was on. oikawa’s intensity was enough to make you want to tear your hair out. he was now not only determined to beat his long time rival ushijima, but some random underclassman setter from karasuno. nonetheless, makki had your back and reminded you to occasionally check your arms for tally marks in case your soulmate was once again in attendance. thus far, the stubborn three marks glared back on you. soon enough, your manager duties consumed you. you held iwaizumi back from killing oikawa in front of his beloved fan club. as soon as oikawa and yahaba eyed kiyoko, karasuno’s manager, you grabbed the back of their jerseys.

“don’t even fucking think about it,” you gave them both a stern look.

“but why-” oikawa started to whine and you cut him off. “think about how angry you get when someone bothers me. give her the same respect.”

both boys sulked off, dejected. iwaizumi clapped you on the shoulder and gave you an appreciative smile.

the match between karasuno and aoba johsai was absolutely brutal. the neck and neck competition had you sweating from the sidelines, watching the teams barely hold their composure. when the short redhead’s spike got blocked and aoba johsai got the winning point, your body moved on its own. you ran straight over the boys, hugging them as tightly as you could.

a shiver ran through your body and your hairs stood on end. it felt like someone was watching you. glancing over your shoulder, you caught a glimpse of someone in a purple tracksuit leaving the stands. you shook your head at your paranoia. of course you were being watched, you were standing on the court with the winning team.

after the match, the team was eating and taking bathroom breaks. during a rare moment of solitude between you and makki, you leaned over and whispered, “do you really think he's here?”

He looked back at you and rolled his eyes, “only one way to tell,” gesturing to your right arm. letting out a deep breath, you slipped off your jacket. the tallies had climbed from three to four. makki grinned at you.

“have i mentioned how much i hate this soulmate system?” you huffed. makki simply ruffled your hair.

IIIII

somehow, the aftermath of the match was even more hectic than the match itself. you had so much paperwork to sort out, so many water bottles to fill, and a large group of boys who you had to babysit. that’s how you found yourself briskly walking through the halls of the stadium, praying no one would bother you. the seven full water bottles and stack of paper teetering in your arms were incredibly heavy. if someone came over to make idle chat with you, you decided you would bark at them. your patience was fraying from your own anxiety over the coming matches. of course, there was a wall of purple jacket adorned jocks crowded around right where you needed to walk.

your annoyance completely masked your judgement and you walked right through them, muttering very blunt “excuse me’s” the whole way through. You finally emerged from the large group of guys when your brushed shoulders with someone, effectively causing you to drop everything in your arms.

“fuck,” you muttered, dropping to your knees and trying desperately to pick up all the papers and bottles littered around your feet.

a large figure appeared next to you on the floor.

“im sorry, that was my fault,” a deep voice rumbled from next to you, causing you to jolt. a calloused hand brushed over your own, handing you a messily gathered stack of papers. you looked up and made eye contact with shiratorizawa’s illustrious captain. You were overcome with embarrassment.

“thank you,” you said quietly before quickly making your escape. upon returning to your team, oikawa immediately noticed how flustered you were.

‘oh manger-chan, what got blushing?” your patience was entirely gone, as you shoved the papers into oikawa’s hands and put down the water bottles.

“im going to the bathroom” you growled, glaring at oikawa. as you stomped away, you heard iwaizumi smack the back of oikawa’s head and scold him.

you splashed your face with cold water, overwhelmed. the pressure of manager duties mixed with your lack of professionalism in your interaction with ushijima had you feeling inadequate. your desperation about finding your soulmate clouded your judegment. you knew full well this might be your last chance to find him for a long time. if he was a third year, he likely would not be at the spring tournament. composing yourself, you stood straight and pieced together your put together facade. outside of the bathroom, makki was waiting you.

“spill. what happened.” a looked at you with masked concern. you explained the past ten minutes to him and expressed your worries.

“the team appreciates you, you know. i dont know what they would do without you. and if you dont meet him today, fate will bring you together. likely sooner rather than later.” makki said as he pulled you into a hug.

“really? sooner rather than later? what is that supposed to mean?” you snorted. makki only responded with another pointed look at your arm.

“are you fucking kidding me? i missed him again?” you grumbled.

“dont worry your pretty little head about it,” makki gave you a knowing smirk. what the hell was that supposed to mean?

IIIIII

6 fucking tallies. the marks on your arm mocked you, letting you know the opportunity to meet your twin flame slipped through your fingers like sand over and over and over again. your frustration had built and you found yourself crying with the rest of them after their loss to shiratorizawa. the third years vowed to stay for the spring inter high tournament, and you let out a sigh of relief. you had one more tournament with your boys. fuck a romantic soulmate. you had your platonic ones right here.

you all slowly exited the gym and you once again retreated to the bathroom, freshening up and removing your jacket. you were far too sweaty from anxiety and hugging the boys.

you looked down at the six tallies, resigned. it was whatever. shit happens.

you were met with both makki and mattsun whispering when you exited. you raised your brow, suspicious of the plotting best friends.

“y/n! come on, we’re going for a walk before we have to get on the bus,” makki softly smiled, clearly exhausted.

“i’ll hold your jacket,” matsukawa piped up, taking it from your arms. you three walked through the halls, idly chatting to distract yourselves from the somber feeling in your chests. rounding the corner, you stiffened. at the start of the secluded hallway stood shiratorizawa. the two boys on either side of you were strangly calm, as if they knew this would happen

“let’s take another route,” you suggested, wanting to save them from the exasperation of passing the winning team.

“it’s fine y/n,” makki smiled at you, gripping your arm. as you passed shiratorizawa, his grip became damn near painful.

“ow makki what the fuck-“ you started looking down to rub at the now sore skin on your arm. you froze. IIIIIII. it stared back at you, mocking you. you turned around and walked by the group of boys again, staring at your arm. another tally appeared.

IIIIIIII

you glanced between your arm and the boys, clearly panicked. makki and mattsun watched from a distance, slightly amused by your reaction. however, their eyes were not the only one on you. the “guess monster” had quickly figured out why you were pacing by them, staring intently at your arm. he counted eight marks. he subtly glanced at his teammates forearms, earning some confused looks. wakatoshi, ever clueless, had completely missed the marks building up on his arm.

tendou grabbed him and rubbed at his forearm.

“tendou, what do you need,” his voice tapered off as he noticed the marks. with tendou’s obvious looks between him and the pretty girl standing on the other side of the hallway, he quickly realized what was happening.

internally you were freaking out. how the fuck were you supposed to know which one of the 10+ boys standing in front you were your soulmate? should you just walk up and ask?

you were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn’t notice the tall man approach you until he was looming over you.

“may i see your arm?” for the second time today, ushijima startled you. without thinking you held it out. his strong hands grazed tallies on your arm. to your surprise he leaned down and placed a kiss on the marks adorning your skin and glanced back at you with a soft look in his eyes.

“hello, i’m ushijima. i never caught your name.”

“it’s y/n,” you breathed out, relieved. then it hit you.

“oikawa is going to kill me!” you squealed. ushijima looked back at you quizzically, “why does it matter so much?”

“you two are rivals,” the exasperation was clear in your voice. ushijima just responded by knitting his eyebrows together, clearly not understanding why this had you distraught. “you don’t have to deal with him pouting and being a brat over this, i do,” you said with wide eyes. ushijima just chuckled at you. he took out his phone and handed it to you, “put your number in, i want to see my soulmate again soon,” he paused, then added, “you could come to our celebratory dinner with us.”

you looked at him incredulously, then gestured to your uniform. he simply squeezed your hand and pulled you into a surprisingly firm hug. leaning down so his lips were level with your ear, he whispered, “oikawa is going to have to cope with this. i don’t want to lose you. what are you doing tonight?”

“after i spend time with my team? nothing as far as i know,” you answered honestly.

“meet me at the park, i want to get to know you,” he stated bluntly. ushijima was full of rough edges and unending honesty. for the third time today, he had you flushing. you were sure it wouldn’t be the last.

©glassheartjukebox all written content belongs to this user. do not repost, modify, or copy content

[palmett-hoes]

per your post "every single one of the monsters is autistic and/or adhd" will you elaborate on that?, if you do i will love you forever (not that i wont if you dont do it)

oh boy i would love to!!! unironically nothing brings me more joy than writing long, convoluted character analysis posts

---

okay so i’ve written several posts before about why andrew is autistic. his moral code, the roundabout way he communicates, his body language, his stimulation-seeking behavior, his strict adherence to transactional deals, the emphasis on honesty, and a dozen other details. at this point i just take andrew being autistic as fact, not just an interpretation

h o w e v e r  i also hc that andrew is dyslexic, which is also a neurodiverse condition

- - -

similarly, i’ve seen more than one person interpret kevin as autistic, and i absolutely agree that it fits. not just the hyperfocus on exy but mostly the way he communicates. he’s very indirect, especially in his affection but very direct with his opinions. he tries to be helpful in a material way to the people he cares about, even if he comes off as negative. he wants the people he cares about to be safe and successful so he pushes them to work hard and reminds them in measurable ways how to stay healthy. he doesn’t factor in a lot of room for emotions, so instead he focuses on quantifiable things that he can improve. i personally act very similarly. approaching someone emotionally is hard for me, so when the people i care about have problems all i can think to do is try offering solutions, check up on their well-being, etc. practicality instead of conventional sentiment is extremely common with asd

- - -

so now let’s talk about neil. i had to think on this one for a WHILE but ultimately came to the conclusion that neil is adhd, probably hyperactive type. 

like obviously neil is high energy. i would say he probably does the most exercise of anyone on the team. morning run, morning practice, afternoon practice, night practice with kevin and andrew, plus he doesn’t have a car so he runs to class (on a BIG ass campus), and goes for an extra run when he feels stressed. that’s... insane, honestly.

neil reminds me SO MUCH of this post that goes:

“Was just informed by my mom that I do in fact have ADHD and the reason I thought I didn’t was because ever since I was seven whenever I got super energetic my mom would have me go chop wood so now when I’m feeling The ADHD I go chop wood”

(phenomenal post) and that’s neil to a t. tell me this isn’t exactly how neil handles his problems and also exactly what mary would have had to do to keep her unmedicated and very energetic son focused on the task of staying alive

neil also definitely has that ADHD on/off switch with his interest. the obvious being exy which is like the definition of a hyperfixation, but you can see it in other things: the way he runs totally hot or totally cold with people, his complete disinterest in his schoolwork, the way he can’t seem to sit still long enough to follow movies. but then there’s also the hyperfocus. doing the same drill for hours on end. watching exy game after exy game. staring at andrew until time falls away

what’s more, neil on many occasions shows racing thoughts, both in an anxiety way (and anxiety often goes hand-and-hand with adhd) but also as a way to quickly and accurately take in details about people to build a character profile of them. this is what allows him to connect with the foxes, how he manages to get through andrew’s puzzles, and even how he knows what to say in order to knock riko down a peg. his brain just works so fast and it takes in a lot of very specific details and disparate information to make connections.

but also like,, neil has a HUGE problem with time blindness. like the instant he didn’t have his mother around to manage and direct him anymore he lost all sense of time. he stayed in Millport for a YEAR. and what did he keep telling himself during that time? basically “i really need to move on, but not just yet.” for a YEAR! then he gets to palmetto and he’s like “i’ll cut and run in a month or two” then he doesn’t “i’ll be gone by halloween” wrong again “i’ll leave by the raven’s game” nope. like,, the boy just has NO sense of time and he can’t seem to make himself DO anything outside of an externally enforced schedule. and even then,,, HE HAD 48 FUCKING DAYS TO FIGURE OUT SOMETHING TO DO TO NOT GET MURDERED! 48 WHOLE DAYS. he didn’t make a plan, he didn’t write down any letters with goodbyes, he didn’t GO TO THE FBI LIKE HE’D INTENDED TO THE WHOLE TIME! nah he just made out with andrew and when he finally got to zero he was just like “ah shit, that was fast. oh well guess i’ll die” and that’s time blindness, babey!

---

let’s move on to nicky. 

now i think it would be really easy to say nicky is just adhd because he’s high energy and forgetful but tbh,, i don’t think that’s all of it. like if you really look at nicky’s character and especially at his problems, he has asd problems just as much as he has adhd problems.

so nicky is dual diagnosis asd and adhd. also nicky reminds me a lot of a girl i used to know who was autistic/adhd

so, adhd:

very generally speaking, ppl with adhd will struggle with sitting still, listening to and following instructions, planning/organization, following a schedule, and some social boundaries like “appropriate” times and topics of conversation

i would say you see hints of this with nicky. he’s definitely a rambunctious personality, constantly on the move, constantly stimulation seeking. he’s very tactile. he likes to dance, he likes to party, he complains about it but he’s an elite-level athlete. he’s also decidedly very chatty, and doesn’t seem to really pay attention to what he’s saying. he distracts himself and the people around him have to keep him on track. he has some trouble with boundaries. he’s a little all over the place. he’s almost a bit of an adhd stereotype

also one thing i find interesting is that when neil sees him in the library doing work neil is surprised to see he’s capable of that, especially bc when we see the upperclassmen doing work they generally do it in their dorms or on the bus and/or with other people around. that hyper-social nicky would be alone in a quiet place is weird. but this is like the most common tip for dealing with adhd. don’t do it in a familiar space. have a designated space and time to do work. limit distractions. just a lil detail

so now, asd:

in all honesty, most of nicky’s actual problems in the narrative could be viewed as stemming from asd symptoms. his number one issue being that he has a lot of trouble with nonverbal cues (and tbh, verbal ones too). the twins are mostly quiet. andrew especially (when he’s sober) communicates primarily nonverbally, and nicky seems to have a lot of trouble with this. despite knowing them for the longest on the team, nicky honestly seems to have the least insight into the way either of the twins actually thinks or processes things. he loves them, and he’s very forgiving of them, but he fundamentally doesn’t understand them. 

the twins, andrew especially, put up a LOT of nonverbal boundaries, and nicky sort of inadvertently keeps trampling all over them. he’s touchy in a way they don’t like. he talks a lot about their personal lives to other people. he treats them like they’re joking when they’re serious. etc. and like,,, you kind of get the sense that the upperclassmen feel similarly about him. beyond the homophobia, beyond the fact that he’s loyal to andrew, the upperclassmen still treat him with this sense of,, bafflement, i suppose? it’s clear that they don’t really understand him and he doesn’t really understand them. although, nicky IS curious about the upperclassmen, while the upperclassmen are pretty dismissive of him. it reminds me of when my sweet, floppy dog tries to play with my cat. their body language is different; they’re each receiving different signals than they believe they’re sending out

only,, nicky loves people!! he likes being around them, he likes talking to them. he’s interested in their lives and stories, but it’s very clear that he can’t read between the lines on people. he has an incredibly hard time with people who expect their actions to speak for them, which is most people, but is especially his cousins.

actually this is very much also an issue that i have: things need to be spelled out for me. the way i deal with it is i ask a lot of questions. ‘how do you want me to react to this potential situation?’ ‘what are specific things that make you most comfortable?’ ‘please explain to me exactly how you feel and what has prompted those feelings?’ and i’m always communicating vice versa like that with other people. a lot of specifics in both questions and answers

and the interesting thing is, when i was skimming through the books reviewing dialogue styles for another ask, i noticed that, actually, nicky DOES do this. with neil and the upperclassmen, nicky asks a LOT of quick, clarifying questions. things that ask after tone, that ask after intent. it’s kinda sad that he does this for communicating with acquaintances, but with the twins, the people he’s closest to, he makes a lot more assumptions. and i’m really proud of nicky for having this coping skill, because i can’t imagine it’s something he grew up doing. there’s no way he was raised in an environment that fostered this kind of open communication so it must have been something he learned about much later, probably in germany with the kloses, which would also explain why he’s a lil imperfect about it

---

now last but not least, aaron

this is another one i had to think through for a long time before it felt like it fit

much like how i felt that it would be easy to read nicky as simply adhd rather than also asd, i think it would be easy to say aaron is autistic simply because he is quieter, less rambunctious. however, i actually think he’s adhd, likely primarily inattentive type

in all honesty, aaron’s #1 character trait for the first two books is basically that he’s disconnected. detached. separated both from his family and his team. not in the same forcefully apathetic way that andrew is, more,, spaced out. he’s just kind,, there. not really paying attention to what’s going on, tuning in every once in a while only if something really catches his eye/ear then tuning right back out again. just sits in his corner and plays on his phone. and the thing is, from the moments when he does tune in, you can tell that he actually does care. he backs nicky when seth insults him in tfc, and we know he cares deeply about andrew even if he’s become disillusioned with their fraught relationship. he even hangs with his family, doesn’t seem to really try and slip away to other friends besides katelyn, he’s fine spending his leisure time with the monsters. so it’s not totally apathy, he’s just,,, tuned out most of the time

and, yea, that sounds like adhd. it’s not the type that most people are familiar with, and for a lot of people this causes it to slip under the radar. it can make it hard to get help or a dx because it doesn’t fit with how adhd “should” look or how someone “should” act, but difficulty focusing your thoughts and staying in tune with the current moment is absolutely part of adhd

addiction is also a huge problem for people with adhd. a lot of stimulants affect people with adhd very differently than neurotypicals, especially in small doses, and an adhd kid who’s struggled their whole lives with the disorder might try speed or god-forbid meth or fuck even coffee and suddenly find that things are a lot easier for them. they start to self-medicate, they don’t actually know what they’re doing, and then they’re addicted, and everything spirals out of control. we don’t know too many details about aaron’s addiction other than that his mother enabled him, but wouldn’t this fit? it’s also an explanation for aaron still taking drugs at eden’s, given that cracker dust seems to be a mild amphetamine. (aaron talk to betsy about the neurocog and get an actual prescription please)

(total throw away but aaron plays videogames and videogames are like,, adhd culture)

[all-hail-the-witcher]

cuddling

here is my contribution for ace week! im literally squeezing this in at the last possible second (as its 11:32pm on 10/31 as i start this) but better late than never i suppose!!

i dont often talk about my sexuality on this blog, but i do identify as ace and its not something ive ever been overly comfortable with. but seeing the plethora of ace week fics on my dash this past week (mostly by @jaskierswolf, hi, hope you dont mind being tagged) has been so awesome and has made me feel so much more comfortable in myself that i had to write something for this :)

this is some gray romantic/ace geralt with some ace jaskier. warnings for mentions of dubious consent/ not wanting to have sex but doing it anyway. there is no explicit sexual content but it is referenced.

___

Geralt was a Witcher. His entire livelihood consisted of him doing things for humans: killing monsters, bargaining with sorceresses, fighting wars, protecting them from pretty much anything that could hurt their fragile mortal selves. It had been trained into him ever since he was a child. Do what the humans ask of you. It is your job. 

So why would sex be any different?

Humans enjoyed sex. This was something Geralt had come to learn during his time on the path. What was even worse was that some of them especially enjoyed having sex with Witchers. 

Geralt did not enjoy sex. He was not a human, and it was decidedly a human activity. But that did not stop humans from wanting to have sex with him. Some sought him out specifically, wanting to know what it was like to lie with a Witcher for a night. Others insisted on paying him for his monster hunting duties with a round. He never took pleasure in it. Sometimes he would pretend he did. He had gotten quite good at pretending over the years, learning little tricks that humans seemed to like. But the act of it itself made his skin crawl for days on end and he could feel their fingers and lips long after the marks on his skin had faded.

But he worked for humans. He couldn't deny them what they asked of him. 

He assumed Jaskier would be the same. The man was certainly human, so much so that he would flirt with grass if it came down to it (which, admittedly, Geralt had only witnessed once, and Jaskier had been very drunk at the time, but still). But he never tried to bed him, which surprised Geralt. He knew he was good, if the praises of the the people he'd laid with before were any indication Humans generally needed him for a favor and then left him to the wind. Jaskier hadn’t asked him to kill a monster or help him track down an unruly mage, and it had been years at least since they had first crossed paths. The only logical conclusion that Geralt could come to was that Jaskier was waiting for him to bed him and then he would leave, just like everyone else.

The problem was that Geralt had grown quite fond of Jaskier over the years (and his incessant flirting) and while he didn’t want the bard to leave, he also didnt want Jaskier to be miserable following him around anymore. Five years was quite a long time to wait for a round, especially in human years. Resignedly, Geralt told himself that in the next town he would lay with Jaskier and then the whole thing could be over, and they could both move on with their lives. 

He rented a room with one bed, as they often did, despite there being enough coin for one with two. Jaksier hardly noticed, flouncing off to play a few sets for the locals while Geralt went upstairs to prepare. 

He felt the characteristic tightening of his stomach and the shakiness that always came with this particular activity, but he stripped down obediently, even talking the time to rub some of the oils Jaskier liked to much into his hair before laying down on the bed to wait. 

He didn’t have to wait long. “Geralt! You’ll never believe th- whoa, were you expecting someone?” He stood in the doorway awkwardly.

“Just you,” Geralt grunted. They should get this over with. 

“Me? Geralt...did you think I wanted to have sex with you?”

“Well...” Geralt picked at the blanket, feeling foolish for having to explain himself, he thought that humans should understand these things. “Humans always need me for something. And you dont need a monster killed, so I figured....” “Oh dear heart,” Jaskier walked over and sat down on the bed next to him, running his fingers though his hair. “Please do not take this the wrong way, but I do not want to have sex with you.”

“You don’t?” Geralt was shocked. “But...humans....”

“Not all humans like sex Geralt. I certainly don’t. It makes me skin crawl and I feel all weird after. So I don’t do it. I’m still plenty romantic with people, but I dont get into bed with them.” “Hmm.” Jaskier didn’t like sex either? Maybe it wasn't a human thing after all.

“What it Geralt? That was your I’m-Contemplating-Something hum.”

“It...makes my skin crawl too.” He said carefully after a few moments. 

Jaskier’s hand slowed in his hair. “Dear heart,” he began carefully. “Do you like sex?”

Did he? No one had ever asked him what he wanted before. He didnt think he did. It didnt feel pleasant and he usually had to jump in a cold stream after. “No.”

“Then why did you want to do it with me?” “You’re human,” Geralt shrugged. “Humans either want me to kill monsters or want me in their bed. I serve humans, I can’t turn them down. You are a human.” 

"But you dont like sex?”

“No. I’m a Witcher. It’s probably the mutations. But can still get by.” Actually, now that he thought about it, from what he remembered, he’d never been much interested in it before the trials either.

“Geralt,” Jaskier tilted his chin up to look at him and he saw sadness swirling in his eyes. “Not wanting to have sex is not a Witcher thing. Plenty of humans feel the same way too. Admittedly there aren't many of us, I’ve only come across a few in my lifetime, and I think there's a word for it but I can’t remember it right now. Sex does not interest me either, but there are far more other important things in a relationship than just sex.”

Geralt was confused. “But sex is the only thing people ever wanted me for.” 

“And I’m terribly sorry about that, dear heart, but you’re with me now and I will never make you have sex with me. Have you ever- or wait, is there anything else that you dont like?”

Geralt’s head was spinning, and he was still stuck on the part where Jaskier had said that he would never make Geralt have sex with him. For the first time that evening, he felt his hands stop their shaking and something like warmth bloom inside him. “Hmm?”

“Is there anything else you dont like doing? Besides the sex bit I mean.”

Besides sex....Geralt tried to remember what came along with laying with someone. He usually blocked it all out after. “Kissing,” he finally said. “Burns my skin.”

“Alright, we’ll do none of that then.” Jaskier moved from the bed, beginning to take off his doublet and Geralt seized up for a second, afraid that Jaskier was going go back on his word, but then he reached for his nightclothes. “Are you familiar with cuddling?”

“Cuddling?” The word felt unfamiliar in his mouth.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Jaskier smiled. “Go put your nightclothes on. I think I have something that you will enjoy far better than that nasty sex business.”

So here it was then, Jasper did need him for a service after all. Geralt got out of bed and slowly pulled on his night clothes, painfully aware this would be their last night together before they parted ways for good, before returning to the bed. 

“Right, so youre just going to lay on your side, yes right like that, and then I lay behind you, see? And I put my arm around you like this, and we snuggle.” Jaskier’s breath tickled his hair.

“What do we do though?” “What do you mean, what do we do?” Despite Jaskier’s words though, he didnt seem angry. “This is it. We hold each other and enjoy each others presence. We can change positions, if you want, like you can take a turn holding me for example or I could lay on your chest, but we just hold each other close. Show each other we care. This is called cuddling.”

“Hmm.” As far as Geralt was concerned, it was far better than sex. But he knew it wouldn't last. This was all Jaskier wanted from him, clearly, which prevented Geralt from thoroughly enjoying it. 

“Where will you go?” he spoke into the silence a few long moments later. 

Jaskier paused drawing light patterns on Geralts forearm. “What do you mean?”

“Tomorrow.” Wasn't it obvious?

“Well I’ll go wherever you’re going. Just like we always have?"

“You...you’re not,” Geralt swallowed thickly. “You’re not leaving?” 

“Leaving?” Jaskier’s voice rose an octave. “Why on the continent would I be leaving?”

“You’ve got what you wanted from me, with this....cuddling business. You have no reason to stay.”

“Oh dear heart.” The next thing he knew he was being flipped around to face Jaskier. Jaskier, who had tears in his eyes that were just barely visible in the low light. Instinctively, he reached up to brush them away. “I’m cuddling with you because I care about you, because I love you. Not because I want something from you.”

“Oh.” Geralt didn’t know what to say. Jaskier loved him? No one had ever loved him before, much less cared about him or wanted him to be comfortable. 

Jaskier placed his hand on Geralt’s chest. “You never have to do anything you dont want to do with me. And if you don’t want to travel with me anymore, I’ll leave. You are your own person, Geralt, even if you are a Witcher. And you make your own decisions. You wouldn't take a contract that you felt unsafe doing, so in the same vein, you dont have to have sex with anyone if you dont want to. You make your own decisions. You dont even have to cuddle with me right now if you want to. You choose what you want to do based on what you’re comfortable doing, do you understand?”

Geralt nodded into the darkness. This was all so much. He hadn't been able to make his decisions in...well ever. And now Jaskier was giving him permission to. “I want you to stay,” he whispered. “I....care about you too.” He didnt say that he thought he could love him, he wasn't ready to say that yet. And according to Jaskier he didnt have to say it if he didnt want to. 

“Good. Now that we've got that sorted, come here,” Jaskier pulled Geralt into his chest, running his fingers through his hair delicately. Geralt closed his eyes, never had he felt more safe in his entire life. Who knew humans could be so gentle?

Just as he was teetering on the edge of unconsciousness he whispered, “Jaskier?”

“Hmm?”

Geralt felt a small smile tug at his lips at hearing how own language on Jaskier’s lips. “Can we do more of this...cuddling?”

Jaskier’s laugh sounded through his chest, vibrating pleasantly against Geralt’s ear. “Of course we can, dear heart. Of course.”

___

that turned out way longer than i thought it would and its now 37 minutes late but oh well.

throw me an ask if you wanna be on my tag list!

taglist: @percy-jackson-is-sexy- @barlowarts @eminasan @llamasdumpsterfire @stinastar @nonegenderleftpain @electricrituals

[theravencawsatmidnight]

blue bird anon: Can I request prince! Hawks and reader in fairy tales au/ fantasy au? Thank you~~

This is alot longer than i intended i apologize i hope its ok!!!

Ruffled Feathers

Grandsby, a quiet small village just outside of the woods, was visited by traders, merchants and travelers looking who seeked shelter. It had everything you needed except a library. But it was home.

You lived with your father who was often out for work , he traveled selling things , he called them ‘useful trinkets that everyone needs!!’ But in reality they were just tools he did not have use for anymore. Every last moon of the month he returned home just to leave again in the morning. You missed him when he left, sure you had people to talk to and you borrowed books to read but every book started to feel the same and every person started to ask you the same question over and over.

‘When are you getting married?’

Of course everyone was looking out for you, they wanted the best. But your father liked having you home and not off tending to some man. But as soon as he left on his horse in the morning the village seemed to break out in song explaining why you should settle down.

“Its him!!”

“Hes here!?!?”

“Where?!?”

“How could you miss him?!?”

“Theres no man in town as admired as him!!!!”

You quickly bypassed the excited villagers slipping into the nearest store with a sigh.

“ ah, y/n. Lovely to see you. Goodmorning.”

You smiled at the voice, it was comforting.

“Hello Aizawa, good morning.”

“Hiding again?” He asked as he dusted his shelves.

“Was it that obvious? Do you have any new books for me?” You asked walking over.

Aizawa was a kind man, he mainly sold bread and knick knacks . But sometimes he would get in a couple books hidden away in his shipments just for you. He pat your head and sluggishly went behind his desk past a curtain.

“I have, but im not sure if its to scary for you.” He teased coming back through the curtain with a red book.

“If i can deal with fire boy out there i think incan handle it. How much?”

He laughed and patted your head again. “Free, my best customer.”

Quickly you put the book in your basket and gave the man a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, i can always count on you when Father is out. You are a great friend to him.”

“Oh thank you, now go go, and tell me what you think of that book. Its a true story, im told.”

His comment interested you , but everything Aizawa said had some kind of tale to it so eh.

*

The sun shined on your face once you got back outside , everything seemed quiet so maybe you could grab some freshly made muffins and go home. The little bakery was down the road a bit but the woman in charge was nice and enjoyed seeing you. She was a older woman with black hair and liked to be called Momo. She happily gave you some muffins and even gave you an extra one for your father when he returns.

Finally you could go home and read this book Aizawa was fawning over. On the way home you were reading it not paying attention to where you were going. And bumped right into him him.

“Y/n!!” He swiped the book from you

“Ugn..Dabi…may i have that back?”

“Why do you read such… flimsy things?!?” He held it upside down trying to read it.

You reached up trying to get it and he walked away still ‘reading’ . The villagers also saw their favorite man again.

“Dabi!!”

“Its him!!”

“You're everyone's favorite guy

Everyone's awed and inspired by you

And it's not very hard to see why!!!”

You rolled your eyes watching him stop to pose for the ladies .

“No ones as amazing as Dabi!!!”

“No one's slick as Dabi!!!”

“No one's quick as Dabi!!!”

He stepped onto a fruit stand to pose again , “No ones as loved as Dabi!!!!!” He said full of pride , he tossed your book and you ran catching it only for Dabi to wrap an arm around your waist pulling you to him and nuzzling your cheek.

“Y/n why do you like these things? You are so finicky.”

“Its something i enjoy. Dabi.” You wiggled free holding the book to your chest.

“What is it even about ?” He turned to pose for some ladies .

Glancing down you read the back. “A handsone man, cursed to live his life alone as a feathered monster in a cas-“

He took the book flipping the pages then looking at you. “Handsome?!? There's no pictures!!!”

You swiped it back placing it in your basket. “Im sure hes a lovely man. Unlike you.”

Dabi growled at the comment and hooked your waist again to steal a muffin from the basket.

“Hey!!?”

“Easy y/n. You might be married before you know it.” He took his leave .

“Hmph.” You scoffed at his words finally going home to read, looks like you were only having one muffin instead of two today.

Meanwhile, up in a tall tall castle a man was looking out the window out into the forest , his claws clicked and his wings ruffled in an angry way.

**

Father returned that night and you could not be happier to see him. Even Aizawa came by to say hello a d to see his friend for a minute. You told your father all about your days without him and the book Aixawa gave you. He loved that you liked to read, it kept you out of trouble. He did not like this Dabi person, he was not right for you..

Father stayed for a little like he always did and was off to the tavern with his friends into the late hours of the night. It was his usual routine, see you, the tavern then be off again at sunrise. Something felt wrong though, the wind was cold and you kept finding red feathers all over the village like the ones in your book.

Father left with his horse after saying goodbye to you. You stayed on the porch watching till he was no longer in sight. All you could do was go on with the day.

Around night time Fathers horse ran back into the village spooked and thrashing around. You ran over grabbing his reins and cooing slowly.

“Easy easy.. what happened to father?!?”

The horse neighed and seemed to be shaking.

“Father…?”

Dabi wandered over to you hooking your waist to him again. “Y/n, why so frantic ?”

“ father is .. i dont know ! He might be hurt!!! Dabi i dont know!!!”

“Sshh.. shhh…” he cupped your face bringing you too him. “Maybe hes.. ya know. But i could go find him, i am Dabi, after all. But i wont do it for free.”

“What? I have no money!!”

“No no.. i want to.. marry you.”

“Dabi thats not fair!!!” He let go to hold his arms out. “Lifes not fair.!! But that is my offer” he walked away swinging his hand.

**

You took off into the woods on your Fathers horse in the middle of the night . You had to find him yourself, if Dabi really did find him then…. no.. no.

Lightning struck over you spooking the horse lifting his front hooves knocking you into the snow running off.

“Hey!!!” You stood up clutching to your coat looking around.

Just endless snow and woods… and.. feathers..

You followed these bright red things to a castle pushing the gate open going in.

“Whos that?” A candle asked

“Not sure what do we do?” A teapot asked.

“We cant let..!!!” A clock began to say .

Heavy steps were heard coming down the stairs with very long wings dragging from behind. The objects backed away from this creature cowering.

When the door opened he stopped and saw you wander in closing it up behind you clutching your coat tight.

“Hello…?” You asked, going in further. “Please.. my father is lost in the woods.”

He tilted his head thinking back on the man who did the same thing you were doing. He stepped closer watching you stop and see him. You grabbed your coat and stared with big eyes.

He was.. the man from the book.. very tall, huge red wings.. blond curly hair , robes ., claws..

“You shouldn't be here…..”

**

@redflannel @babayaga67

[mrskurono]

hello i am back once again but with this

https://twitter.com/nonlovso/status/1374142549519122436?s=21

(the op elaborates more in the replies + the embedded one on atsumu) in case u can’t see it -> https://twitter.com/nonlovso/status/1374155371145756679?s=21

i love reading these types of tweets, just people talking about the character in canon, analysing what furudate was trying to depict when he wrote these characters. also the phrase “monsters can only thrive among monsters” ???? fuckjng love that, so much to unpack tbh.

idk i just rlly want to see these characters thru the eyes of the author. it’s hard for us readers when 1) we don’t know the thought processes behind the making of each character, and 2) many characters we only see on the volleyball court. but people act differently in different situations. i know it’s a pipe dream but i always hope for more canon haikyuu content outside of volleyball, just regular slice of life content, just teens being teens (i know haikyuu-buu exists but it’s not confirmed to be canon so 💀)

- 🪢 sorry this become somewhat of a rant. this has been on my mind ever since i started liking suna, i couldn’t find posts / tweets like this for suna so i rlly struggled trying to fully understand him (which irritated me bc it felt like he was a one dimensional character 😡)

The amount of nerdy that I am I LOVE shit like this.

Which you know what is interesting is the way each can be laid out for each characters struggle with loneliness and how Sakusa’s is clearly the easiest to identify and yet people chastise him almost the most (Have y’all ever met only children? They can be a little weird and I’m married to one ok so I get it) But ironically Bokuto is one I never thought about (though I’ve thought in depth over Akaashi’s bc he latches to the 3rd yrs and then gets physically left alone) 

Bokuto’s loneliness is weird bc of course when Furudate let out who has siblings (which I got way too nerdy about that bc the family dynamics were real obvious after Furudate gave us siblings to characters) Bokuto is the youngest among three and anyone who’s ever had/known three kids is the baby is almost always the golden child in some way. On purpose or not. Like how much older are the sisters? Are they close? Did they baby Bokuto and that’s why he’s so focused on the team? (bc he needs someone to not really “take care” of him but at least guide his emotions at least) We see Oikawa’s sister is obviously old enough for him to have nephew that old so clearly they weren’t raised too much together (age gap) But Bokuto being the baby among two older siblings (female) in an Asian family really would speak to his need for attention bc he’s 1. The baby and 2. The only male child. Not faulting Bokuto at all bc like, he could really be a dick but he’s not. Which makes me feel like the sisters are closer in age bc if you’ve ever had siblings you know your ego gets to be in check no matter what. Bokuto’s loneliness is just something fun to pick apart bc it’s not exactly loneliness (or at least I don’t see it that way) like out of all of them he’s def seeking validation more than anything it feels like. Anyways- Sorry I’m rambling I like character analysis way too much XD

But god yes the lack of content outside the volleyball realm drives me crazy. Especially post high school in that short 5 year span before MSBY v Schweiden. Which this is my total bias talking but I constantly want to know when and how it happened that Kageyama just, mellowed out. He’s reintroduced not even really with a scowl. Totally unphased by the dumbshit Hoshiumi does, he’s surrounded by little kids (which I still wanna know when kids started to like him bc he’s the only one seen with a lot of younger fans repeatedly) and he smiles like a lot. Growth from the MSBY team always circles back (for me at least) for the four of them being together and growing like that. But Schweiden doesn’t have that substitute brother feel? I mean I think Kageyama and Ushijima get along real well (simpletons) but what about the other teammates? (Hoshiumi still has feral vibes that never leave I love him for that) But Kageyama was with them graduation on basically so who helped him mellow out? Who had such an impact on him that Kageyama kinda relaxed back into his interested, wide eyed and calm middle schooler self who was just enjoying playing volleyball. Like, Furudate??? You can’t just give me my man vibing being sweet and dealing with Hoshiumi’s bullshit and not tell me when it happened?? Was it personal life growth?? Was it the team?? FuruDATE GIVE ME ANSWERS

No one ever really points this out (or at least I haven’t seen it) but the two panels we get of Suna timeskip he’s smiling. I don’t know why but I just feel like that speaks to his character a lot. That he’s actually really a happy individual he just hated high school. He was in the lowest academic class, he loved volleyball but hated any variation of the twins and Kita and he was good at what he did but never really shined over having to deal with everything else. Which I mean he’s def not a spotlight kinda guy but even when they’re watching past games for prep Ukai has to point out Suna is the main point getted for Inarizaki (bc everyone is focused on the twins) I dont know...I just kinda find Suna interesting bc he’s seen as almost mean but timeskip Suna is smiling, chatty with Komori and good enough to be in the top leagues. He always struck me as one of those kids who hated school but was incredibly smart. Which is why I probably liked canon Suna a lot quicker than whatever the fuck the fandom depicts him as. (not to mention the being the older sibling so anyone who’s older knows you tend to be the emotionally calm one to not stir the pot and keep things calm at home which would really explain Suna’s deadpan look a lot just from personal experience as the eldest child)

See now you made me go off, this was supposed to be short but I passed out last night before I could do anything XD Now everyone knows Im a nerd :l

[mayabishopapologist]

station 19 - season 4, etc

this is long but i want to put down my thoughts before thursday comes and i guess i have A Lot To Say.

honestly didn’t pay much attention to this show until halfway through season two—  always liked maya and was glad that they gave her more to do. going into season 3, i was excited for more character development &stronger storylines. however, by the end of  301 the dip in quality was glaringly obvious. a quick google search revealed that there was a new showrunner and, well, it showed. 

while the show had been going in a really good direction with balancing the screen time between andy and the other regulars, this season, the plot was all over the place. it was uber dramatic and just. so much happened just to happen? seemed like every other episode had a major event(deaths alone; ryan,rigo,pruitt?!!?). they were so frequent, it was hard to process. it was also hard to get invested as the characters themselves moved on(or were shown to have moved on, extremely quickly!) 

i enjoy the show for what it is and i have no delusions about broadcast tv shows (or shondaland productions, for that matter)but the suspension of disbelief.... i mean: a stabbing, a robbery, a shooting and a car crash? all in one episode? please! lmaooooo. drama for dramas sake is always boring and weakens the story.  

& as for the characters... .

everyone felt like a hollow version of themselves this season and it was hard to watch sometimes, actually. characters switched motivations /personalities for the sake of the current episode and i know this show is very ‘monster/emergency of the week’ but. some consistency! please! like—

maya: she’s always been determined and focused but they went so far with it this season, it was almost cartoonish. her competitiveness was hinted at in season 2 but she was always portrayed as self aware. ‘the beast,’ as she dubbed it to andy, was something she knew of and tried to contain, because she knew it could get out of hand. 

yet, in season 3 she suddenly forgets this and just. becomes the most power hungry/singularly focused person, ever. she goes after the captain position behind andy’s back, (citing andy’s emotional state, because of the death of her best friend as a reason she shouldn’t get the job?? huh. since when is maya this purely callous??!) she just doesn’t give af, suddenly, about andy at all, and goes for a job that she is hardly qualified for(she was lieutenant for like, a few months?)

and then after she gets the position, she just. loses all sense of reality? literally she was so unhinged(fun to watch but so much) and it was like. um?? maya has never been the uptight one (they've mentioned and depicted andy as being the one like this, multiple times!) and we know she knows how to have fun, so, for her to all of a sudden just. not know how to read the room? yeah okay. to make her so intense and severe, especially w the drills and training was, a choice. a bad one, on the writers part. like, i get that they needed her start as captain to be dramatic or whatever,  but there were ways to do that. and even the animosity with the team and her went so far, i just think that whole storyline was amazingly lazy, honestly.  

and the friendships!! andy and maya’s friendship is just, a mess. at this point they've spent more time at odds, and the idea that they're supposed to be best friends with this super close bond? yeah, i just... i dont buy it tbh. if they'd spent more time building up their connections and making us understand why they would be friends and showing them being there for each other past a few scattered scenes her and there? maybe. but so far, that hasn't been the case.  making that bond real, solidifying that friendship, would have made this conflict have more of an emotional impact. but doing it now? making maya ‘turn’ on andy, this soon and this drastically just. it made her seem like she was extremely jealous and had been waiting to pull the rug out from under andy all along. and also, why would they stay friends when, so far, maya has showed, time and time again, that she’s willing to let her wants/ambitions leech on her loyalty to andy? (jack thing, job thing, etc). although, it’s not like andy’s a good friend to maya either, she’s selfish and seems to like it when maya is in her corner but isnt always there for her. they went so far with the idea that maya was this coldly calculating asshole that she was almost a villain?? it was so silly to me.

and the traumatic home life plot they gave to maya was clearly their attempt at some adding nuance to her character and trying to explain why she would act the way she did, but to me? it fell flat. it was rushed, and they went from zero to 100(why did her mother come to talk about her divorce/abuse at maya’s job? like she was literally working? idgi. no boundaries lmaoo) 

and i actually relate and sympathize w maya a lot. and while i liked that they were exploring the many ways abuse can present itself, it was very... hm, ham-fisted. just super rushed and then wrapped up so quickly. they have, i think, written themselves into this dark place i fear they have no intention of exploring. 

and while i understand it, i hated how far they let maya go, especially because i don't feel they’ll adequately address it. they move on so quickly( maya was deaf for like half a season and then. she just. wasn't) and i hate the idea of her just being ‘fixed’. a relationship and an apology doesn't undo years of abuse, idc. also will they ever address maya’s um, thoughts about death??? because that was super heavy and not just something someone gets over? going to need for her to get actual professional help. that isn’t her girlfriend, like. asap. 

speaking of carina, i do like her and maya together a lot. big part of why i watch, ngl. but i need their relationship to be a lot more reciprocal. like, lets dial it back on the codependency, maybe. carina cant (and shouldn't have to) hold her up so much ! that’s not love. also maya needs to start being a good girlfriend. they started off that way, i know they can get back there. but like, we hardly got to see them settle into it, we got those cute 30sec clips of sweetness then maya was lashing out and cheating and it was like. wait a minute! what??? 

for s4, i want to see them working at reconciling—im talking, groveling, awkward in-between moments where carina isnt sure she can trust her. okay, tough conversations, hell, even jealousy because let's be real. maya working with jack is a lot for carina to just. take? i know i absolutely would not be happy about that, but i also wouldnt take maya back so... anyway! brushing over that would not just be a missed storytelling opportunity, but it would also be super unfair to carina and do a huge disservice to their relationship as a whole. as cute as they are, having cute moments with no real depth would get very old, very quickly.

carina: what can i say but-perfect, amazing, fantastic, WOW

seriously, carina is almost unrealistically perfect. she takes a lot and has been through the most (can they be nice 2 her this season? like just for fun) going forward, im going to need her to be more than a plot device to calm and soothe maya. i get that she was introduced as a love interest, but in season 4(as a season!!regular!!) that cant be all she is.

speaking of, it was really weird to me that she was promoted to station 19 and not greys because... what is a gynecologist going to do at a fire station? the general consensus seems to be that she’ll join warren’s PRT but like. she’s not a general surgeon so that’s a reach but, i want her around so ill buy it. i just want better and more for her tbh. not just screen-time, but also character development and depth! also friends! tired of carina being isolated, they did it on greys which. a waste! i meaaan, amelia was RIGHT. THERE. just look at the material! for s19, i want her, vic and travis to be friends or even just her and vic, like yesplease! i also want to know more about her and im tired of her being treated badly. like, i think society had progressed past carina being shitted on, thanks!

vic: my fave!!! they did so lazy by her this season ugh. she’s so charismatic and charming and just so good!! yet, her storyline was all over the place. we hardly got to see her sit with her grief  (spontaneous crying aside; barrett doss is so good!) she was just kind of... around. and that relationship w jackson. lol. it was so obviously for crossover potential and well. i didnt hate it or like it. actually, i was mostly indifferent. bored, even when they were onscreen together. i just didn't care and wanted more of vic, not vic and whoever. i know they're up in the air rn but i wouldn’t be torn up if he doesn’t come back. 

i want more for vic past just romantic entanglements. i know we’ve gotten a bit of her past, but i would like to see more! also, what about employment accomplishments? her artsy theatre friends? her family? just. more vic, please!!

she’s so fun and cool and when they let her, she shines. they need to let her! 

jack: my boy! so dumb, but i love him sm. he def needs like. major help, though lmao. and maybe it’s just me but im tired of his sex addict plot. like, we get it, but can we move on now? kthanks. they need to let him work on himself especially, the constant self sabotage. it's getting old. for ALL of them, actually, seriously, how many times can they all get in their own way.

andy: don’t really think about her. the mom storyline seems like it would be wonderfully dramatic, im intrigued. she and sullivan are cute, i guess. hope they make it.

ben: no major issues w his storyline, hardly remember it honestly. i liked the rapport he was building w vic and want them to explore that relationship more, its cute. 

travis: so funny and adorable, let him do more.

dean: loved him in all his entitled first born African son glory. i didnt so much love the baby plot but that always bores me. his sudden love for vic though. lol. since when? it def, came out of no where and while i really enjoy their friendship, to me, there is zero romantic chemistry there so i would prefer it if they just. stopped. lmao. also. the way he treated her because he could get a handle on his emotions? ridiculous. has humanity not like, gotten past the ‘he’s mean bc he likes you’ thing?? like grow up maybe?

and this isnt just about dean but like. are there not more single young people in seattle? why do they all have to sleep with the same 5 people. ik for the sake of plot, workplace relationships are easier but still. i think they should branch out. really. 

overall, i want better for all of them, and i think if the writers would just. take a moment and stop trying to tell so many stories in such little time, they could do better! also, whoever’s out there. please, enough w the crossovers! dont want to be forced to watch greys just to know what’s happening on 19. i get that they're in the same universe. it’s only mentioned every other episode. we. get, it. i liked what they did with private practice, it was like once every few seasons. and i know they won’t do that, but maybe, two a season. 

this is so much. but this how does have a ton of potential and i just really want it . like, get there.

[dingobabywrites]

 so, in light of recent events, people have been discussing when they think Dean and Cas realized that they were in love with each other. While I 100% believe dean realized in purgatory, I dont think Castiel realized until Dean broke Naomi's connection.

BUT!!!!

I also think that is around the same time Sam realized it too. Obviously Charlie already knew ( " what about Castiel, he seems helpful and..Dreamy" she's a lesbian. That comment wasn't for Her!") I think Charlie was the one to point it out to sam and I think the two of them agreed to keep it to themselves since neither of those two would have been able to handle that information. So, I wrote a little thing about how I think it went down.

I also wanted to give myself an explanation for those wierd looks and mystery note from the end of the episode...so yeah...here's that.

Sam hobbled down the hall to the guest room, his hand still throbbing from knocking Dean unconcious . It was…worrisome, to say the least, that he was having this much trouble with healing from such a minor injury, not to mention the other things that were happening to his body; the fatigue, coughing up blood. Troubling, but, as much as he hated to admit it, worth it. Dean had been pissing him off more than usual lately anyway. It wasn't just the trials. Sure, he was frustrated with Dean for thinking he wasn't strong enough to handle them (he had fought against Lucifer in his own mind for christ's sake) but it was everything else too. His loyalty to Benny still didn't sit right with him. He had been so quick to kill Amy, just because she was a monster. He didn't care that she was just feeding her kid. She was just a monster to him. But for some reason, Benny got a pass. Sure, the guy saved both their asses, he was grateful for that, but even Bobby knew it was wrong.

And then there was Cas.

 

Sam wanted nothing more, than to tell Dean that he should have learned his lesson the first time with the Angel. It wasn't like he didn't like Castiel. Of course he did. He was appreciative of everything the guy had done for them. Dean was right that he had saved their asses more than once. It was just….at the end of the day, whether they liked him or not, Castiel had betrayed them. He understood that perfectly. What he couldn't understand, was why dean was so suprised by him doing it again. Hell, Dean had been the one to bring up that fact that the guy wasn't acting right since he got back and yet, there he was, praying to him, putting his trust in him again. It was maddening, to say the least. He had tried to talk to his brother about it, but Dean immediately shut down.

So, yeah, his hand was still hurting, but it was damn worth it.

He turned the corner to find Charlie stuffing her things into her duffle. He knocked on the door frame with his uninjured hand. "Hey, there."

"Sam." She half smiled, when she turned around, her eyes still a little bleary from crying. "Hi, I'm just…just packing up to head out and…" she sniffled and plopped down on the bed, covering her face as she began crying anew.

Sam walked into the room and pulled up the desk chair, sitting down in front of her. "Dean told me what happened, while you two were under." He said. "I am so sorry about your mom, Charlie." He placed his hand on her shoulder as she began crying harder. "I know how hard it is to let go like that…"

"Dean was right," she sniffed. "I needed to stop holding on."

Sam let out a bitter scoff and pulled his hand back, squeezing both hands between his legs. "Yeah, Dean's always right, isn't he? Too bad he can't follow his own advice."

Charlie looked up, her eyes sad and confused. "Holding on to my mom was the reason I was stuck there. If he hadn't made me let go, I would have died.we both would have."

Sam shook his head at himself, trying his damndest to let go of his own bitterness to be there for his friend. "Ya, I know. I'm sorry…just…I know you're hurting right now, I just want you to know I'm here for you."

Charlie sniffed again, wiping her arm across her face to dry it before leaning back and staring at Sam. "I don't get it." She said, as firmly as possible.

Sam, leaned back and shrugged. "Me neither, really. I always thought all djinn fed off happiness. It's like every time we figure stuff out, something new comes along to throw us off our game."

"Not that." Charlie said, waving his statement off. Sam looked at her, confused, not sure what she was referring to. She took a breath and pulled a book out of her duffle throwing it on Sam's lap. 'Mystery Spot' By Carver Edlund. "You say these books happened in real life. That everything written in them actually went down…but the past two times I've been around you guys…you certainly dont act like you do in the books."

Sam skimmed the first page of the book and chuckled, tossing it back on the bed next to Charlie. "Yeah, well, things have just been different, I guess."

"So, you used to love and support each other, no matter what and now you just, what? Stopped?" She asked.

"It's…" Sam scoffed and shook his head. "things are just, more complicated now…"

"You maybe, wanna elaborate there buddy?" She asked. "I may be a genius, but a mind reader, I am not."

Sam let out a breath and scrubbed a hand through his hair. He figured it might feel better to at least get something off his chest. "To be honest Charlie, I dont think Dean is cut out for the job anymore."

"Why not?"

"His judgment, for one thing." Sam answered. "I don't know, just ever since he got back from purgatory… he's been…it's like he can't think straight anymore. He used to be no nonsense when it came to killing monsters and only trusting people he knew he could trust and now… I mean, I get it. Purgatory was rough on him, but the guy has literally been to Hell and back. I don't see why this time is any different."

"What do you mean?" Charlie asked softly.

"I mean like, being friends with a freaking vamp." Sam answered, coldly. "Yeah, Benny wasn't like the others, and I get the whole 'brother's in arms' aspect, but it still doesn't make sense." He waved his hand, gesturing back at the book before letting it drop. "That Dean? That Dean would have never put his trust in a monster. That Dean wouldn't let people back into his life that had screwed him over, and now…I don't know, now it's like he just doesn't care about letting people in that who could hurt him, or…people who already have."

"So, it's not just about the vampire." Charlie said. "Who else has Dean been trusting that you don't think he should?"

Sam gritted his teeth and shook his head. "Cas really messed him up Charlie. I mean, the guy already turned his back on us once and Dean just let him back into our lives like nothing even happened."

"Ah." Charlie said, with complete understanding. "Okay, I get it now."

"Get what?" Sam asked.

"I get why Dean has been acting wierd, duh." She said, like it was obvious. Sam sat, staring at her, trying to peice together what puzzle she seemed to have completed. "Oh, my God. Do you really not see it?" Charlie laughed.

"Um, no?" Sam said, skeptically.

"Wow," she scoffed. "And here I thought you were the observant one." Sam waited for her to explain herself, still utterly lost on what she was talking about. "It's Castiel." She said, speaking to him as if he were a child.

"What about him?" Sam asked, hoping like hell that she wasn't talking about the angel brainwashing his brother or something.

"I've read the books, Sam." She said. "I know all about Dean's special Angel friend."

"No." Sam shook his head. "No, chuck stopped writing after Dean went to hell. There's no way you could have a read anything about Cas."

Charlie scrunched her face and bobbed her head back and forth. "Mmmm, not exactly." She reached into her bag and pulled put her laptop, turning it on. "Remember how I said the books were online now?" Sam nodded waiting for her to continue. "Okay, dont get mad," she said as she typed "but, he may have kept writing a little bit longer than you thought…."

"He what?!" Sam said, furious. They had told that dick to knock it off after that stupid convention."How long?"

"Relax." She said, scrolling through some page on her screen. "He stopped after you sacrifice yourself to Hell, actually. It was beautifully written by the way, super emotional, but no one has seen or heard from him since."

'Good!' Sam thought to himself. He felt a little bad for that thought, since Kevin was now the prophet it meant that the reason no one had heard from Chuck was likely because he was dead, but at least no one else could know more about their lives than they already did. "Okay, but what does any of this have to do with Dean? Why would Cas be the reason he's acting wierd?"

Charlie sighed, cringing to her self a little. "Well, as you already know, where there's a fandom, there's most likely fanfiction…"

"I'm aware." Sam said, peeved by the memory of stumbling upon the fanfiction written about him and Dean.

"Look, I'm not saying anything is definite, but alot of people who write fanfiction are really good at reading between the lines." She clicked her mouse a few times before closing her laptop and setting it back in her bag. "I mean, I've read all the books myself, and I totally know that you guys are real people and not some fictional characters, and it's completely not okay to speculate on your lives and feelings or whatever...but I mean, it's kinda hard not to see where they're all coming from."

"What are you talking about, Charlie?"

"Dean said that Benny helped him fight through purgatory, right?" She said. "He met him pretty early on in his time there, no?"

"Yeah," Sam said, still completely bemused, "I guess…Dean hasn't really talked a lot about what happened while he was there. He told me some things, but he never really went into detail."

Charlie nodded and shrugged sheepishly before continuing. "Okay, so he met Benny early on, and Benny told him he had a way to get back, right off the bat. So, why did it take them so long to get out of there?"

"Dean said he spent alot of his time searching for Cas." Sam answered.

"Exactly!" She exclaimed, like that should have been the answer.

"I'm sorry Charlie, I still don't understand what you're getting at here."

"Sam, he could've come back at any point after meeting Benny. They only spent as much time as they did together, because Dean wanted to bring Castiel back with him. Even after everything he did. Don't you think that's a little…suspicious?"

"That's exactly what I've been saying!" Sam said. "Why would he do that?!"

"Yeah, Sam, why?" She said, still trying to lead him. "Why would someone run back into a fire, when they have a way out? I mean, I think you, of all people, would know the answer to that."

Sam gaped at her in shock. It took a minute for him to register what she was implying, but once he did… "Charlie, that's…"

"Just a thought!" She defended before he finished. "I'm just saying that Dean doesn't normally put his trust in people. Except, maybe…the people he REALLY cares about and the people that protect them. Maybe there's more to the story when it comes to his trust in Benny than you thought. I definitely feel like there's more when it comes to Castiel."

"Charlie, come on." Sam laughed a little. " You know Dean. He's…"

"More complicated than people give him credit for." Charlie cut him off. "He also knows how hard it is to let go of the people he loves. He's actually really bad at it. Maybe, worse than you know."

"Charlie," Sam started, before being cut off once more.

"He's definitely more concerned about you than you think." Charlie said firmly, standing up as she did. She began packing once more, keeping her eyes averted from Sam's. "He's not trying to control you, you know. He raised you, Sam. You mean alot to him. You ever think for a moment that he's just really scared for you? Scared of losing you? I mean, back to my point, he is really bad at losing people."

Sam sat in silence, petulantly mulling over Charlie's words. She was right, probably. Dean may have been scared, but it was still possible that he just couldn't hack the life anymore. Sam wasn't some child. And the other stuff she was saying…she was way off base. There was a big difference between reading about someone's and living it.

"I sent you the link to the website I used to read the books." Charlie said as she zipped up her bags. She slung her backpack over her shoulder crossing her arms as she stared him down. "I know you lived through it all and everything, but not every part was about you. There's a few things you may have missed."

"Yeah, I don't think that's gonna happen." Sam shook his head.

"Just a suggestion." She shrugged. "It might open your eyes to a few things you don't understand. I get not wanting to relive those times but…if you ever decide that's something you might wanna do, hit me up. I can tell you what chapters to skip, or whatever. And, if your really curious about Dean's relationship to Castiel, 'On the Head of a Pin' is a good place to start. The torture chapters are pretty rough, and I know you'll want to skip over your parts…but the other stuff.…" she shrugged.

"Okay." He said, at a loss for more words than that.

"You ready to roll?" Dean said, from the doorway, knocking on the door frame before entering the room.

"Looks, like it." Charlie smiled up at him as he entered.

"I didn't interrupt anything did I?" Dean asked looking between her and Sam with concern written all over his face. "You guys look a little spooked."

"Ew, gross, no." Charlie said, scrunching her face at Dean's implications. "Sam, was just helping me with my bags. Right Sam?"

"Uh, yeah…" Sam said, standing up and grabbing her duffle off the bed.

"Eh, come on, you know I'm just teasin ya!" Dean chuckled, jabbing her on the shoulder playfully. "He may have the hair, but the body parts are all wrong, right?"

"Definitely." Charlie agreed.

"Come on." Dean said, tilting his head toward the door. He waited for Charlie to leave the room, then cast a skeptical glance at Sam before following after. Sam was sure he was in for an earful after she left. He began dreading it as he said his goodbyes, anticipating the lecture as he told Charlie she was welcome to comeback at anytime. But it wasn't the only thing on his mind now. After bidding Charlie farewell, he went inside, giving the two of them their time alone. He hesitated for a moment, convinced that the trials were seriously messing with his head if he was even considering this. Then again…

He headed to the library, grabbing a peice of paper and a pen on his way and sat down. 'This is just stupid.' He thought to himself as he wrote down the words 'On the Head of a Pin'. He heard the bunker door open. Dean walked up, the look on his face telling Sam that it was time for his ass- chewing, so he decided to cut it off before it could start.

He clicked the pen closed and stood up, ready to defend his actions. "Okay, look you were right. I-I should laid low. I-I know." He said as Dean approached him."I should have hung back. I'm glad I was able.."

Then Dean grabbed him. Then Dean pulled him into a hug. It wasn't at all what he was expecting. He was lost, but relieved and hugged his brother back.

Dean chuckled and patted his back before pulling away. "What do you say we find our prophet?." Dean smiled, before smaking him in the chest and walking away.

Sam was left to himself, completely bewildered by what had just occurred. Dean had certainly not been acting like himself, but this was a whole new level. Maybe there was some truth to Charlie's words? Maybe he really was just scared? Maybe Sam really didn't know everything about his brother. Now, wasn't the time to think about that, though. Dean was right, the had to look for Kevin. They had work to do. Research.

But Dean had to sleep at some point. Maybe Sam could do a little light reading in that time.

If Charlie was right about Dean being scared for him, who knew what else she was right about?

[purpli-writes]

Makoto Naegi's Normal School Life

Summary:

Makoto Naegi had always wanted to go to Hope's Peak Academy but when he was informed he'd be one of a kind in his class?

He wasn't so sure.

Day One of My Naeishi Week: Monster AU

You can read it on AO3 here

“Are you paying attention, Naegi-kun?” Nanami asked, staring at Makoto a little worried. “This is important information, I think.”

“Y-yes, I am Nanami-senpai,” Makoto replied quickly. “It’s… a lot to take in, though.”

“That’s normal, probably,” Nanami responded, pulling out her Gamegirl. “It was with me, anyway…”

“But, I think the golden rule is just to treat them as you would anyone else,” Nanami added. “They’re after all still your classmates, Naegi-kun.”

Makoto nodded. If Nanami could handle her class he would probably be fine.

Assuming his luck didn’t go against him, of course.

Entering his class for the first time was going to be the hardest, that Nanami had promised.

Makoto had always thought of himself as a somewhat sociable person but now all he wished is that he could go hide away in his dorm.

They might buy that I’m sick, right? Makoto thought desperately as he stared at the classroom door.

Still, despite his nerves, Makoto reached for the handle.

He was sure he had never been more nervous in his life.

That was sad, wasn’t it?

Makoto slowly opened the door, ignoring the beating of his heart.

“Ah, Naegi-kun,” a mature voice greeted, startling Makoto. “I see you’ve made it here in one piece.”

Makoto dumbly nodded, staring at his teacher.

“Would you like to introduce yourself?” the teacher prodded, smiling softly.

Slowly but surely, Makoto made his way to the front of the classroom, ignoring the stares he felt on his back.

“My name is Makoto Naegi,” Makoto began, staring straight ahead. “I’m the Ultimate Lucky Student and I’m pleased to make your acquaintances.”

“If you could find your seat, Naegi-kun,” the teacher said. “We could start a more formal meeting.”

So far, Makoto thought as he made his way to the one empty desk, school seems pretty normal…

Maybe it won’t be so bad after all!

Makoto found that his classes for the most part passed smoothly, however it was a bit awkward not knowing anyone at first.

Luckily, Maizono, Ikusaba, and Hagakure were quick to talk to Makoto, claiming that he had seemed interesting.

“Naegi-chi,” Hagakure had said, beginning a question he had already asked several times before. “Do you have any magic?”

“No,” Makoto answered, getting a bit annoyed. “Up until a few weeks ago, I had no clue that magic was even real.”

“Huh…?” Maizono had said. “Humansssssss really have no clue?”

“It would make sense,” Ikusaba said. “They have explanations for everything, why would magical instances be any different?”

“I mean little kids believe in magic,” Makoto said. “But as we get older we just stop believing…”

“That’sssssssss horrible!” Maizono gasped, tail shaking slightly.

“Perhaps it’s just part of their lives,” Ikusaba said calmly.

Makoto nodded at that, not knowing what else to say.

“Well, Naegi-chi,” Hagakure began. “If you ever want to learn magic, learn it from me!”

Glancing at Maizono and Ikusaba told him that he might not want to take Hagakure up on his offer, yet Hagakure had looked so excited. Saying no outright would be like kicking a puppy...

“Thanks, Hagakure-kun,” Makoto said. “I’ll… think about it?”

Hagakure smiled brightly, and slowly the conversation turned to more normal things.

chiaki nanami:

nanami: naegi, how was your first day?

naegi: it was… interesting but not bad.

nanami: see? i told you it wouldnt be that bad

nanami: probably

naegi: i mean i havent really talked to most of them yet

nanami: you might do it eventually, naegi! i believe in you

nanami: maybe…

naegi: ...thanks?

nanami: no problem!

Makoto slowly tried to introduce himself to the rest of his class, some more successful than others.

But there was someone who kept gaining Makoto’s interest despite Makoto not talking to him.

Ishimaru Kiyotaka.

It seemed his small friend group had noticed his interest although Maizono and Ikusaba didn’t seem exactly eager to mention it.

Makoto didn’t know whether to be thankful or worried.

“Naegi-chi,” Hagakure said as they walked to lunch. “Are you ever going to talk to Ishimaru-chi?”

“Huh…?” Makoto said, scratching at his cheek. “I do talk to him, Hagakure-kun.”

“That’s not what I mean, man,” Hagakure whined out. “Since it’s obvious you have a crush on him why don’t you talk to him?”

“What…?” Makoto asked. “I don’t-”

“It’s obvious, man,” Hagakure said. “I could predict your future with him for a measly 100,000 yen!”

“...I’ll pass, Hagakure-kun,” Makoto said.

As Hagakure and Makoto made their way to the lunch table Makoto couldn’t help but ponder Hagakure’s words.

I can’t have a crush on Ishimaru, I haven’t even really spoken to him…! Makoto thought. ...Right?

Makoto went through the rest of his day, trying not to think of Ishimaru.

If anything, it’s a bit creepy, right? Makoto thought to himself. I mean, we don’t even know each other!

“Naegi-kun,” Maizono began, slithering up to Makoto at the end of their final class. “Did ssssssssomething happen?”

“Huh?” Makoto asked, looking at Maizono. “I don’t think so, why?”

“You ssssssssssseemed a bit out of it,” Maizono explained. “Thissssssssss doesn’t have anything to do with Ishimaru-kun, doessssssssss it?”

“W-wha…?” Makoto said. “How did you-”

“I’m pssssssssssychic, ssssssssssssillly!” Maizono smiled. “Jusssssssssst kidding, I jussssssssssst have good intuition!”

Makoto stared at Maizono in a bit of a shock.

“Maizono-san,” Makoto began. “I think I might have a bit of a problem…”

“And you have a crush on him?” Ikusaba asked plainly. “Despite not interacting with him other than superficial moments?”

“When you say it like that…” Makoto said, scratching at his cheek.

“Hey! Humans have short life spans!” Hagakure said. “So of course he’d fall in love quickly!”

I didn’t think my lifespan was that short… Makoto thought.

“I think it’sssssssssssss ssssssssssssweet,” Maizono added. “Love at firsssssssssssst ssssssssssssight, right?”

“It isn’t love!” Makoto protested. “I… just… I don’t know.”

“Well you won’t find out if you don’t talk to him,” Hagakure said.

“Hagakure-kun is right, for once,” Ikusaba said. “You’re going to have to talk to Ishimaru-kun to confirm your feelings.”

“It won’t be sssssssssssso bad, Naegi-kun,” Maizono said. “Ishimaru-kun can’t be that bad to talk to.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Makoto said. “Well, wish me luck.”

“Hopefully we don’t have to man,” Hagakure said. “You are the Ultimate Lucky Student aren’t you?”

Finding Ishimaru wasn’t hard. From the little interaction Makoto had with him he knew the guy liked to study.

Religiously.

Makoto went to the library and unsurprisingly Ishimaru was there. At least his intuition wasn’t wrong.

“Ishimaru-kun?” Makoto said, walking up to Ishimaru. “Could we talk?”

“Of course, Naegi-kun!” Ishimaru said in his usual loud voice. “Students communicating is fundamental for a working school environment!”

“It’s more of a personal matter,” Makoto said, looking away.

“Oh? Please do share, Naegi-kun!”

“I realized I don’t really know a lot of my classmates that well,” Makoto said. “So I wanted to get to know you better, Ishimaru-kun.”

What a copout… Makoto thought sullenly to himself.

“I would also be interested in furthering our relationship, Naegi-kun!” Ishimaru responded, smiling with his arms out.

chiaki nanami:

naegi: ...i need your help, nanami

nanami: huh…? what do you need naegi?

naegi: i dont know how to flirt with one of my classmates

nanami: oh? youre already flirting with one of your classmates?

nanami: um… thats… a problem

naegi: i know

nanami: just flirt with them like you would a normal person, probably

naegi: i dont know how to flirt with people

nanami: im not good at dating sims, naegi…

Slowly but surely Makoto was sure he was making progress with befriending Ishimaru. His friends offered him tips on what they had learned about Ishimaru but he wasn’t exactly sure he could accept all of their help.

“I could have one of my minions follow him, man,” Hagakure offered during lunch.

“There’s probably a love spell I could cast on him,” Ikusaba said during the middle of their third period. “Although I would have to go to the dragon realm…”

“You could alwayssssssss trap him, Naegi-kun!” Maizono had said cheerfully at the end of the day.

Yeah, his friends were probably not the best people to consult on this matter.

“Naegi-kun!” Ishimaru yelled after Maizono had left him for the day. “I think it would be pertinent for us to study!”

“Huh…?” Makoto said. “Study…?”

“Yes!” Ishimaru said. “It would help us better understand each other while still keeping on top of our school work!”

“We could… just hang out?” Makoto offered. “That would also help us better our friendship…”

“But what about our studies?!”

“Studying isn’t everything in a friendship…” Makoto said. “I mean it’s also important for friends to relax with each other.”

“Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-what?!” Ishimaru cried out, looking shocked.

Did Makoto… break him?

Did I really say something that weird…? Makoto thought.

“I understand, Naegi-kun!” Ishimaru said, starting to cry. “Thank you for teaching me, Naegi-kun!”

“You’re… welcome?” Makoto said, scratching at his cheek.

“Naegi-kun! You can decide the place we relax!”

As Makoto led Ishimaru to a park he had discovered nearby he noticed Ishimaru’s tail wagging.

Huh, I didn’t know that he could do that… Makoto thought. It’s kind of cute…

The routine of hanging out with Ishimaru continued for a few weeks and Makoto found himself happy with how things were going thus far.

Too scared to make a move, Makoto had accepted that he was resigned to only being friends with Ishimaru.

Not that that was a bad thing, despite how his friends had teased him.

Yet today, Ishimaru had been acting a bit weird to Makoto. More red-faced and loud, almost as if he was annoyed.

Did Makoto do something?

“Are you really that dense, Naegi-kun?” Ikusaba asked, blinking at Makoto. “I wonder how you’ve made it this far.”

“Huh…? What do you mean?” Makoto asked, tilting his head.

“I think it’s pretty obvious, man,” Hagakure answered unhelpfully. “Are you going to eat that, Naegi-chi?”

Makoto pushed his tray towards Hagakure who accepted it wordlessly.

“I think Ishimaru-kun might be reciprocating your feelingssssssssss, Naegi-kun,” Maizono explained. “It would explain his recent behavior.”

“H-huh…? You think?” Makoto asked.

“It’s obvious,” Ikusaba said. “Even Hagakure gets it.”

“Mhm!” Hagakure agreed, muffled by food.

“Don’t worry too much, Naegi-kun,” Maizono said. “It’sssssssssss going to work out perfectly!”

chiaki nanami:

nanami: heard from one of my classmates that you have some good news incoming

nanami: ….probably

nanami: it’s probably pointless to wish you good luck, naegi, but i told you it’d be fine.

nanami: ...maybe

“Naegi-kun!” Ishimaru yelled at the end of the school day, startling Makoto.

“Ishimaru-kun…?” Makoto asked, trying to ignore what his friends had told him during lunch. “What’s up?”

“I have something to tell you, Naegi-kun!” Ishimaru said, continuing to yell.

“I don’t think you have to be so loud, Ishimaru-kun…” Makoto said. “Unless you want to tell everyone in the school…”

“I know these feelings are not exactly wholesome but I can no longer deny my attraction to you, Naegi Makoto-kun!”

“Huh…?!” Makoto said, feeling his face redden rapidly.

“I understand that you may not reciprocate these feelings….!” Ishimaru said, trailing off as Makoto stared blankly at Ishimaru.

Before Ishimaru could say anymore Makoto closed the gap between the two of them connecting their lips.

“Ishimaru-san, I think I might like you too.”

naegi phan klub:

Soldier Girl: Looks like they finally got together.

Snake Songstress: Finally! I’m happy for them!

speak to the dead: ...maybe we should add him to the group chat now?

Snake Songstress: No…! Think about how embarrassed he’ll be.

Soldier Girl: Adding him now.

Naegi Makoto was added to the group chat

[ananobrain]

Geraldine works for the twelve (and might have killed Kenny)

So, everyone agrees that geraldine always felt a bit off and useless, right? She’s always around the house being, as she said, “hyper-empathic” (which by itself could be a personality disorder https://exploringyourmind.com/hyper-empathy-syndrome-much-good-thing/) and overall just a good daughter helping her mom over come grief and blahblahblah — bullshit.

I had this revelation while watching 3.07 so I’m basically going to analise a few scenes of that episode that might have gone unnoticed (while bringing a few dialogues of this season), bare with me.

1. Hélene explaining her concept of monster to Villanelle During that scene, Hélene says: “monstruous people like you often feel they have to fly solo like they have to keep things bottled up inside them. Thoughts. Feelings. Secrets. And that can affect their ability to be truly monstruous.” and then “whatever it is you can tell me. I dont want us to keep secrets from each other.” and something about that clicks with how Geraldine acts, always sharing, trying to make Carolyn talk and open up. Maybe that’s just her being hyper empathic or maybe that’s just her trying to use her mother’s grief as a way to get information out of her. As Geraldine said in 3x02, 

2. Carolyn investigating Paul with Mo.

So, this scene is important for many reasons, one of them is to figure out how Paul hides his work for the twelve while living his life doing “standard white people stuff”

and then, it gets obvious:

- a bottle of chablis, a stir-fry kit and a bath bomb. what does that say to you?

- that he’s planning a lovely evening in?

hold onto that.

3. The shrink talking about Irina to Konstantin x Irina mentioning Stanislavsky

Ok, throughout the seasons we had some resemblance between Irina and Villanelle, they’re both very smart, dramatic and as far as psychology goes, we know that psychopaths are born and sociopaths are “made”, sort of, and these lines get kinda blurry during the show. 

So, Irina’s shrink describes her as: extremely bright and also manipulative. calculating. almost entirely lacking empathy. 

But empathy is a funny thing in this show. Villanelle’s showing some empathy. Hélene could be empathetic with her kid and with Villanelle. So, are they faking all the time? Is it impossible for them to feel things? We know that Villanelle said to Eve. Geraldine’s the opposite of that, right? Anyway.

In their next scene, we see Irina talking about performance, that’s the key word.

- You should read some Stanislavsky

- I’m not acting.

- Exactly. You’re over-acting.

I don’t know much about Stanislavsky but I do know he was really important with the psychological realism in the theater and later created a system that “mobilises the actor's conscious thought and will in order to activate other, less-controllable psychological processes—such as emotional experience and subconscious behaviour—sympathetically and indirectly.” Meaning that the performer should seem as real as possible, the role and the actor are connected and always showing their authentic emotions in scenes. For an actor to really display emotion, he needs to know how this emotion looks like, what it feels like.  As it turns out, Irina was talking about control of emotions, she knows how to read people, she’s calculated. 

Geraldine always seems to know what to say to get a type of reaction out of people, she burst and gets on her knees to talk about Kenny, and how Carolyn needs to let her in, she manipulates her mother into giving her something. At first she cries and sobs:

and Carolyn says “I’m doing more for your brother than you could imagine” , then Geraldine’s expression shifts almost into a grin

that was fast

And Carolyn, once again, shuts her down because obviously she doesn’t share information with someone she does’t trust. Remember that.

So many emotions, right? It almost seems like, i dont know, a performance. 

Next.

4. Geraldine manipulating Konstantin

Back to the 3x07. She goes to Konstantin and aparently she wants to get away from her mother’s mood and make him a nice and thoughtful dinner because thats who she is. Thoughtful.

So, she gives Konstantin some clue for him to play with:

and then he goes with the bait, of course, because Geraldine shows how manipulative she can be and her expression shifts completely to this:

then she lies

Carolyn sharing that type of info with Geraldine? I don’t believe it. As I said before, she doesn’t share information with someone she does’t trust.

Then she says that Konstantin would “disappear into the ether” and how would she know?

Then she lose it and makes a scene, which is revitalizing, really. and then Konstantin gives up, so she says “seeking out someone whose brother’s just died, taking advantage of their grief  when they’re at their most vulnerable. what kind of person does that?” “a shit”, Konstantin says. and then again, what was Geraldine trying to do this whole time with Carolyn? what did she say when Carolyn said “i’m doing more for your brother than you know”? she asked for more. she’s taking advantage of her mother’s grief.

Konstantin confesses he used Geraldine to spy on Carolyn and then nice and sweet and hyper-emphatic Geraldine says:

Ouch. Would a hyper-emphatic say that?

5. Carolyn arriving at home

ok, this scene is perfect. just look at it.

candles and incense AND

did the yoga mat ring a bell? anyone?

Carolyn says shes going to run a bath and 

Geraldine’s always at home, seemingly a dull life (as carolyn said in the 3x4) but no,

yes, she’s drinking some wine, practicing yoga, relaxing...she’s just doing a painfully standard white people stuff. she’s just planning a lovely evening in, right?

Her yoga mat? Blue. Paul’s yoga mat? Blue. then again, she goes for more info

Carolyn works for the MI6 after all (even though she might as well be a double agent she isn’t stupid)

then Geraldine burst once again calling Carolyn an emotional iceberg and then goes on about finding ways to express her emotions and thats impossible to live life refusing to feel things. All that just to get Carolyn to react and, hopefully, to see Geraldine as trustworthy, maybe share one thing or another. Which doesn’t work because Carolyn says in the trailer for the sf “dear geraldine i think it’s time you left”

So, what I think is: 

a. Geraldine might be a sociopath who works for the twelve.  Sociopaths can be 

- “Manipulative and Conning: They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used.” 

a class act

- “Pathological Lying: Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.” i gave an example before but here’s another:

thats when she kissed Konstantin

- “Shallow Emotions: When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.” and again

Gemma Whelan is doing a fantastic job i just need to point that out 

b. She might have something to do with her brother’s death. She either gave info for the twelve or actually got her hands dirty. We know that Kenny was getting somewhere with his investigation. Does she have motives? Could that have been Konstantin all along? I don’t know. But we do see Carolyn at better pills watching a footage that might show who killed Kenny.

c. Carolyn must know Geraldine is onto her or, at least knows she has been lying to her face (she lied about Konstantin’s visit and didn’t tell Carolyn he was spying on her)

d. I believe Geraldine could kill Carolyn in the sf and as Carolyn said:

Konstantin did say “everybody’s mother deserve it” so it wouldn’t shock me that much.

Anyway, that’s my theory. Geraldine works for the twelve and was trying to get info on her mother, either to investigate the MI6 or to see where Carolyn loyalties lies (that if Carolyn does in fact work for the twelve as a double agent). Or maybe Geraldine is just someone who wants to keep no secrets, just like hélene.

[citialiin]

3:31 AM desperate narcissistic desire to explain how i write things 

it should be pretty obvious that i really like animation.  it is the crutch upon which i build my personality cuz i got nothing else.  usually when i write, i visualize my “reply” as a storyboard sequence, so it’s like, the important beats that i need to address.  consider latest massive reply i need to write to b/lossomingbeelzebug -- they are usually, like, 6+ paragraphs, so i just make a mental reel of the important scenes.  what happens in the scene/what the camera focuses on ends up being what i think i should actually write down. obviously i dont ACTUALLY draw out the replies before i write them, but i thought i would try this time to draw what i saw in my head really quickly. 

thomas’s reply: thomas is talking to z and they are sitting on the bed and thomas put his stupid felt frog toy on a piece of wood that is covered with shelf mushrooms. 

my withered, shriveled brain immediately thought of this sequence: zig makes an off color joke that might be kind of rude or awkward so he coughs and turns his head. he looks at the frog for longer than necessary and the camera quick zooms to the frog.  maybe hes spacing out ? comes back to reality and doesn’t remember ANYTHING thomas said because he was spacing out so hard looking at the frog that he just smooches his cute little alien bug monster face.

then the draft reply looks like this:

“ the silence that follows is a little awkward, and he clears his throat and averts his eyes briefly, finding solace in the pleasant scene of the tiny frog’s wild fungal adventure.  they flicker back to thomas, briefly, and he gathers his face into his hands and dots kisses over his lips and nose and cheeks; he slathers his affection to hide is burgoening sense that he is difficulty paying attention when other people are speaking. ”

And tomorrow, when it isn’t almost 4 AM, ill like ... go back and fix it and clean up the sentences/spelling mistakes/incomprehension.

i always wonder how other people begin to write their replies. do you visualize things? do you just understand what to say next via words, immediately? i think can comprehend thought process in words, like, when i need to wax philosophical about how hard it is to be an alien or whatever, but for action, i usually just think of a sequence (a cartoon sequence because my brain is repulsed by visualizing real people for whatever reason) and then write down exactly what happens in the sequence.  

this is basically how i write every reply.  well. when i write replies.  i havent written any of my like 19 drafts cuz im so tired every day misery wretched misery i hate school and my figure drawing professor hates me so we’re even

[cristinablackthornkingson]

Jonathan Fray. Part 1.

Quick Disclaimer: Alot of this story is taken directly from the Last Stand Of The New York Institute by Cassandra Clare, Sarah Rees Brennan and Maureen Johnson. The next part will have much more original content and much more of my own writing.

It is a warm June evening in 1991 when Magnus Bane first spots Jocelyn Morgenstern hurrying through the streets of New York. Though at the time he did not know it was Jocelyn, from his living room window he could only make out the shape of a woman with bright red hair.

''So whats the plan for this evening, do you want to go out?'' Magnus is pulled from his thoughts by Tessa coming up behind him.

''Out on a Friday night during the summer holidays? Are you mad? I think you're rubbng off on me Tessa Gray, a night in sounds good to me.'' Magnus says in an amused tone, turning to face Tessa and grinning at her.

''So what do you want to do then?'' Tessa asks. Just as Magnus opens his mouth to reply, there is a sharp knock on the door.

''That's probably Catarina, she said she'd call around after work.'' Magnus says, striding over to the door. When the door swings open, the smile immediately drops off Magnus' face. Standng before him is not Catarina Loss, but a slender, willowy woman with long tangled red hair and sparkling green eyes. Peeping out of the top of the sling wrapped around the woman's chest is a small pale hand, clutching the woman's ty-dyed t-shirt.

''Who are you?'' Magnus demands.

In a shaky tone the woman says

''I am- I was Jocelyn Morgenstern.'' The name conjures up memoires of years old. Magnus remebers Valentine Morgenstern's blade going into his back and the taste of blood. It makes him want to spit.

''I don't remember ordering the bride of an evil maniac.'' he says in a cold, harsh voice. ''What about you Tessa? Did you order the bride of an evil maniac?''

''I have come here, Magnus Bane, to beg your aid.'' Jocelyn quietly says.

Magnus grips the edge of the door until his knuckles turn white.

''Let me think.'' he says. ''No.''

He is stopped from closing the door in Jocelyn Morgentsern's face, by Tessa's voice.

''Let her in Magnus.'' Tessa softly says.

Magnus wheels around to look at Tessa.

''Seriously?'' He asks in a tone of disbelief.

''I want to speak with her.'' Tessa says in a strange tone.

Magnus relecuntly allows Jocelyn in and closes the door behind her.

Jocelyn stands awkardly by the door, the tiny person in the sling kicks its feet and stretches its legs.

''You have a baby.'' Magnus observes.

Tessa pads toward them silently and stands by Jocelyn. Even though she is wearing black leggings and an oversize gray T-shirt that reads WILLIAM WANTS A DOLL, she still aways carries an air of formality about her. The t-shirt is a feminist statement that boys like to play with dolls and girls with trucks, but Magnus suspects she had chosen it partly because of the name. Tessa's husband has been dead for long enough that his name brings back happy, faded memories instead of the raw agnoy she had felt for years after his passing. Other warlocks had loved and lost, but few are as hoplessley faithful as Tessa. Decades later she has never let anyone else come even close to winning her heart.

''Jocelyn Farichild.'' Tessa says. ''Descended from Henry Branwell and Charlotte Fairchild.''

Jocelyn blinks in shock, clealry not expecting a lecture about her own genealogy.

''That's right.'' Jocelyn cautiously says.

''I knew them you see, you have a great look of Henry.'' Tessa softly says.

''Knew them? Then you must be.... are you a warlock too?'' Jocelyn asks suspiciously.

''Yes I am.'' Tessa calmly says.

''I understand if you find my crimes against Downworlders unforgivable.'' Jocelyn says. ''But I- I have nowhere else to go. I need help. My son needs your help. He is a Shadowhunter and Valentine's son. He cannot live among his own kind. We can never go back. I need a spell to shield his eyes from all but the mundane world. He can grow up safe and happy in the mundane world. He never needs to know who his father was.'' Jocelyn almost chokes but she lifts her chin and adds ''Or what his mother did.''

''So you come begging to us.'' Magnus says. ''The monsters.''

''I have no quarrel with Downworlders." Jocelyn says. "I... my best friend is a Downworlder and I do not believe he is so changed from the person I always loved. I was wrong. I'll have to live forever with what I did. But please, my son did nothing.

Tessa edges closer to Jocelyn and softly asks

"May I hold him?" Jocelyn hesitates for a moment, holding the tightly wrapped bundle of the child close. Then slowly, reluctantly, her movements, almost jerky, she leans forward and places the baby with enormous care into the arms of a woman she has just met.

When the baby is no longer clutched against Jocelyn's front, the swell of her stomach is immediately obvious. She must be about 6 months pregnant. Tessa's heart goes out to her. Jocelyn is clearly very young and is going to be a single mother to two very young children, it will not be easy for her.

"It seems you forgot to tell us something." Magnus calmly says.

Jocelyn places a protective hand over her stomach and quietly says

"I came here about my son, I know for a fact that he has the sight and more, but this baby might not."

"Have you had any medical care throughout your pregnancy?" Tessa asks in a concerned tone. Jocelyn shakes her head, her red hair falling into her eyes.

"No, I knew I was pregnant right after the uprising when I began to have all the same symptoms I had with my son. I know no mundane doctors I could go to and I will not go to The Silent Brothers." Jocelyn firmly says.

"Would you allow me to have a friend set you up with a mundane midwife? My friend Catarina Loss works at the local hospital, she can organise for you to have care there and you could deliver the baby there." Tessa asks in a hopeful tone. Going for 6 months without any pre-natal care is extremely dangerous, especially with all the stress Jocelyn has been is bound to have been under lately.

Jocelyn is quiet for a moment, before she reluctantly nods and says

"Yes alright."

"Who's going to look after the kid when you give birth? You mentioned your best friend, is he around to help?" Magnus asks. He isn't about to offer to watch Valentine's son, but prehaps Catarina could arrange child care for Jocelyn.

"No, its just me and my son, and the baby." Jocelyn says. She hasnt thougth about who will watch her son while she is in labor, it has been the last thing on her mind lately.

"I could watch him, I promise not to do any magic or anything around him, I live not far from here, I could watch him at my home or yours, whatever you're comofortable with." Tessa offers, wanting to help out as much as she can.

"I..." Jocelyn hesitaes, looking from her son to Tessa.

"Its not as though you have anyone else to help out." Magnus points out.

"I understand why you are hesitant, we are strangers, but over the next few months you could get to know me and I you, little Jonathan here could get to know me too, I can help you at anytime, I had two children and plenty of grandchildren, great-grandchildren and so on, I am extremely expierenced in caring for children of all ages." Tessa explains.

"Okay... thank you." Jocelyn queitly says.

Tessa smiles and turns back to the baby in her arms.

"He's beautiful." Tesas murmers. She moves the baby to her hip, held fast in the circle of her arm, with the instinctive loving and casual air of a parent. Magnus had seen her once, holding one of her grandchildren the same way. "What's his name?" Tessa asks.

"Jonathan." Jocelyn says, looking at Tessa intetntly, then, as if she were telling them a secret, she says "I call him John."

Magnus looks over Tessa's shoulder and into the baby's face. He is older than Magnus had initally thought, his face has lost the roundness of babyhood: he must be alomst two, and already looks a great deal like his father, though he does have some of the Fairchild features. He has light blonde curls, the exact same color as Valentine's and many of the other Morgenstern's, clustering on his small head, and green eyes, glass-clear and jewel-bright and blinking arond curiously at his surrondings. He seems to have no objection to being handed to a stranger. Tessa tucks the baby's blanket more securely around him, and Jonathan's small fat fist closes determinedly around Tessa's finger. The child waves Tessa's finger back and forth, as if to display his new posession.

Tessa smiles down at the baby, a slow bright smile, and whispers. "Hello John."

It is clear that Tessa has made up her mind. Magnus leans in, his shoulder resting lightly against Tessa's and peers into the child's face. He waves to catch the baby's attention, movning his fingers so all his rings sparkle in the light. Jonathan laughs, all pearly teeth and the purest joy. Magnus feels the knot of resentment in his chest ease.

Jonathan wriggles in a clear singal that he wants to be let down, but Tessa hands him to Jocelyn so that Jonathan's mother can decide wheather he should be put down or not. Jocelyn may not want her child roaming a Warlock's home.

Jocelyn does look around apprehensively, but either decides it is safe, or small intently squirming Jonathan is stubborn and his mother knows she will have to let him go free. She puts Jonathon down, and Jonathan goes toddling off determinedly on his quest. They stand and watch his bright little head bob as he grabs up, in turn, Tessa's book, one of Magnus' candles and a sliver tray Magnus had left under the sofa.

"Curious little thing, isnt he?" Magnus asks. Jocelyn glances toward Magnus. Her eyes had been anxiously fastened on her son. Magnus finds himself smiling at her. "Not a bad quality." he assures her. "He could grow up to be an adventurer."

"I want him to grow up safe and happy." says Jocelyn. "I dont want him or this baby to have adventures. Adventures happen when life is crule. I want them to have a mundane life, quiet and sweet. I hoped Jonathan had been born unable to see the Shadow World, but I have never had much luck with hope. I saw him trying to play with a faerie in a hedge this afternoon. I need you to help me. I need you to help him. Can you blind hm to all that?"

"Can I tear away an essential part of your child's nature and twist him into a shape that would suit you better?" Magnus asks her. "If you want him mad by the end of it."

He immediately regrets the words when he sees Jocelyn stare at him, white-faced, as if she has just been hit. But Jocelyn Morgenstern is not the kind of woman who weeps, not the kind of woman who breaks, or Valentine would have broken her a long time ago. Jocelyn holds herself tall and asks in a level voice. "Is there anything else you can do?"

"There is... something else I could try." Magnus says. "If you want your child safe though, he doesn't need only a spell to hide his own Sight. He needs to be protected from the supernatural as well, from any demons who might come crawling to him. The same applies for the child you are carrying."

"And what Iron Sister and Silent Brother wil do that ceremony for me without turning me and John over to The Clave?" Jocelyn demands. "No I cannot risk it, if he knows nothing of the Shadow World he will be safe, as will the baby."

"My mother was a Shadowhunter who knew nothing of the Shadow World. " Tessa quietly says.

Jocelyn stares at Tessa in open horror, obvioulsy able to infer the story of what happened: that a demon had gained access to an uprotected Shadowhunter woman, and Tessa had been the result.

There is a silence. John has turned curiously to Tessa and lifts his chubby little arms out to her. Tessa scoops the little boy up and this time John does not try to wriggle away from her.

Jocelyn blinks and begins to smile slowly, before saying.

"Jonathon never goes to strangers, maybe- maybe he can tell you are not a stranger to The Fairchild's."

"Maybe. I will help you with The Ceremony. There is a Silent Brother I know who will keep any secret, if I ask him." Tessa promises.

Jocelyn bows her head in appreciation. "Thank you Theresa Gray."

It occurs to Magus how outraged Valetnine would have been, to see his wife beeseeching Downworlders and to see his child in the arms of a warlock. Magnus' thought of responding to Jocelyn's appeal with cruelty receeds further. This seems the kind of revenge worth getting- to prove how wrong Valentine had been, even after his death.

He walks over to the two women, and he glances at Tessa, and he sees her nod.

"Well then, it seems I am going to help you Jocelyn Morgenstern." Jocelyn flinches.

"Don't call me that. I'm- I'm Jocelyn Fairchild." She quietly says.

"I thought you werent a Shadowhunter anymore. If you dont want them to find you, changing your last name seems a fairly elementary first step. Trust me, I'm an expert. I was not born Magnus Bane." Magnus explains.

"I was born Tessa Gray bu you should choose whatever name seems right to you. I've always said there is a great deal of power in words, and that means names too. A name you choose for yourself could tell the story of what your destiny will be, and who you intend to become." Tessa softly says.

"Call me Fray. Let me join togetehr the names of the Fairchilds, my lost family, and the Grays. Because you are... a family friend." says Jocelyn, speaking with sudden firmness.

Tessa smiles at Jocelyn, looking surpirsed but pleased, and Jocelyn smiles down at her son. Jocelyn strokes her little boy's face and they all watch as the baby smiles, lit up with the sheer joy of living. He is a story in himself, sweet and full of hope, just beginning.

"Jocelyn and Jonathan Fray." Magnus says. "Its nice to meet you."

[yellowbluemoonshine]

The reason why i want redemption for Shigaraki (please read it)

three big reasons of mine:

1-

he is someone who forced to being a villain. i am not saying that he would be good, if he had a better life. i am saying he is someone who became a villlain, bad guy with force. ha has no choci but to be bad. if you think his all life, he never had a chance.

he was happy kid who just wanted to be a hero but just cause of it, just because he want to be himself, his father abused him. he felt so stress that it itches. he saw his parents death in front o his eyes, he accidently killed them, he killed his father cause of self defense at just 5 years old. i think there is no need to explain how much this tragedy can destroy a someone s especially a little kid s child. but shigaraki feels so guilty about it and blaming himself so much that he started to think like “there was no tragedy. i am not a victim. i did it on purpose. everything is ok” but its not true. nothing is ok.

yeah its not just that tragedy, he was ignored by people. there was a lot of people around him but he was ignored. this is why he started to hate them unconsciously which is extremely understandable. then is it over? no

he was manipulated by all for one for years. the way of his raising him is no different from torture, abuse. giving him a presents, his surname after he killed those guys? he basically destroyed his mind. and retraumatized him. he never gave a chance to feel ok. so its so unfair to say “he did everything cause of his own will” since his mindset is completely working wrong cause of his all life.

also redestro noticed that shigaraki s life. so if you really think he was just doing nothing and afo gave him what he wanted, you are completely wrong. his life is completely horrible.

2-

there is still goodness in him despite everything he had been through. yeah he had a lot of tragedy but he is still human who has choices, right? well its easy to say like that. i wasnt even expecting this cause afo, everything destroyed that kid s mind so he doesnt need to be better person than this. thats what i thought but he became something more amazing than i expected.

shigaraki met new people, his first relationships after tragedy, after all for one. he could just punish them like overhaul did, he could just use and throw them like redestro did but he never do that. he respected them. he started to change but its not cause of lov member s characters. the biggest reason is shigaraki has always this kind of person. who is open to emphatize with other people. he did it even though he doesnt need to.

he feels gratefull to afo and kurogiri for what he did for him. he misses them. he listens and respects lov members, people around him, people who are besides him, outsiders like him. he didnt just take care of them, he is also thinking a future for them.

he knows that he will never feel better, there is only anger, pain inside of him. but he saw people like toga, twice, spinner blah blah. he saw that people needs to destroy to live.

he said “i want them to live how they see fit” he basically care about them even though he doesnt care about himself at all.

he was ready to die only to move destruction. but when it comes to his comprades, outsiders, people who have no home, shigaraki is taking care of them.

he was also doing that as a kid, even before tragedy. this is true kindness, big posibility the reason he wanted to be a hero. he wanted to help people, even after all that tragedy, he is still doing that. despite everything, he still has a true hero hearth inside of him.

3-

he is not happy.  yeah he is a ultimate victim, yeah he has true hero hearth but if he was happy a little, i would ok with it but no, he isnt. yeah he cares about his comprades, he wants them to live freely. he is laughing when he destroyed or when he thinks that he will destroy something but thats it. this is just coming from his kindness but it doesnt mean that he is ok with his life.

its so obvious that he still blame himself for the thing he had no control like killing his family. he still doesnt accept that he is victim and keep playing the bad guy. he doesnt think a future for himself cause he has no hope. he knows that too.

“like: nothing” is proof of that. there is nothing to hold. he is not enjoying destruction s itself like toga. look at toga, we know she is also victim of her quirk. but at least she is happy, she is living her life with her own way. problem is shigaraki is NOT living his life. he doesnt care about his heathy, his apperance, he doesnt propely sleep or eat. At least he was happy with his villain life, i wouldnt be like this. He needs redemption unlike toga who is ok with her villain life.

if she was happy like toga, i wouldnt care these much.

and killing innocents ... i dont think that is what shigaraki really wants. shigaraki loved heroes but now want to destroy them. he is destroying the thing he loved, he still loves inside of him.

if he wasnt feeling empty, pain and unhappiness these much, i could simply ignore it but i cant

not just because of these 3 reasons, its also because of that everything happenned cause of ignorance.

Idk why guys are reading this manga but

i am not here to watching a innocent child s becoming evil,monster and destroying everything he loved and i am not here to watch innocent kid s having a tragic painfull life just because he is unlucky. İ am here to watch heroes, true heroes. İ want to see how epic they are. Even shigaraki stans think that shiggy is happy, evil but he is not, he is not happy at all. Only redemption can bring justice to his life. He doesnt need to be epic character, all i want is just satisfying ending that gave him a happiness he deserves and survival.

(i keep talking about these things, i know. i think i will keep doing that. cause i needed to say, i think)