#monoconscious system

[bubblyaquarium]

sometimes being a system is losing memories, having constant identity issues, and struggling to process trauma, and other times it's taking 20 minutes on your makeup only for someone else to switch out that hates makeup so you have to take it off right away

[always-almost-never]

does anybody know if it’s possible for a traumagenic system to be monoconscious? we thought that’s what we were but as we looked into it we’ve only seen endogenic systems using the term, and it’s making us think we might not actually be plural, just have a very fluid identity

(for anyone who doesn’t know, monoconscious means we have only non-possessive switching, so when we switch it’s like alter A is “becoming” alter B, rather than alter B “taking control”)

[kitttyweed]

My experiences as a created / willogenic / thoughtform system member. Do not argue to me that I don't exist. Do not bring unfriendly discussion to this post or account. Thank you.

Hello. I'm shortening my name to Ren for privacy and safety's sakes. I'm a member of a mixed origins (willogenic, metagenic, etc) non-CDD collective. I began as a half-developed thoughtform a few months ago, and recently developed my individuality more. Not all members of our system exist to fulfil a need of the collective, but I do. My role is to help calm my fellow sysmembers, particularly through feeling strong and difficult emotions for them. This includes sensory difficulties, as we are autistic. I have helped avoid meltdowns through these methods. My formation as an individual was partially due to one of the ever controversial 'headmate inspiration / alter pack' type of post. I won't share specifics- again for safety- but I will share that I am a fictive. The details of this 'inspiration pack' resonated with me- my sysmembers were somewhat aware of my half-formed self and wanted to help me find a stronger sense of self. We saw many such posts before seeing the one i am largely 'based on', for lack of a better word. I of course am not a cut and paste version of the person described in that post, I'm still finding parts of myself, what I enjoy, what i dont, and learning new things.

We believe our collective is monoconscious - for us, switching feels moreso like 'becoming' than relinquishing control to another. There is one member whose consciousness is separate, though. My source is somewhat multiple, and i feel somewhat connected to her. I believe this helped me to understand better how i exist in a collective. Getting used to this was simple for me.

I am happy to answer questions about myself, my experiences. I would like for people to better understand the lives of people like us. I will not, however, respond to baseless anger and hatred. Thank you for reading this, and I wish you a peaceful day. -Ren

[noxsynpositivity]

hi I’ve been questioning if I’m plural lately and was just wondering if I could get some insight. I know that everybody experiences plurality different and that there is no wrong or right way to be plural, but I was wondering if what I’m experiencing really counts a plurality or not.

so basically, I go by a bunch of different names and recently I’ve been having thoughts like oh this is how this name would dress and look and it’s different form how I (want) to dress and look. I wouldn’t describe it as multiple people/headmates in my head. I would kind of describe it as a bunch of different people, except they all share 1 mind but have different bodies instead. Obviously these bodies don’t exist physically, but I know what all the bodies would be.

reading this, it doesn’t really seem that plural but idk and I was wondering if u could provide some clarification.

Thanks :)

Any experience where you feel that there's more than one person in a body, even as how you described it, means that you just might be plural, but it is different for everyone.

It is really up to you to determine what it is for you. To us that sounds like plurality, more like monoconcious plurality where you all share a consciousness that isn't separated but you can sense there are different headmates in existence.

I hope this gives you some insight into how things are working for you. Thanks for sending this in!

[multiplicity-positivity]

do you know where one could find resources for monoconscious or just median systems? theres barely any info or resources on us compared to polyconscious and multiple systems and it gives us super bad impostor syndrome

oof, we don’t have too many resources we can think of off the top of our head…

here are the only median/monoconscious tumblr blogs we could find:

@median-culture-is

@median-net

@monoconsciouscultureis

here are the pluralpedia entries for median and monoconscious (sorry that the monoconscious entry is so short!). pluralpedia is a community-run site where folks make entries based on web sources and personal experiences.

when searching for resources on median systems, it may help to also use “midcontinuum,” which is a synonym, we believe. we also think that many osdd-1 systems and individuals with borderline personality disorder may relate to median experience. so you might find resources for these types of folks useful for your system.

you can learn more about osdd-1 here and borderline personality disorder here. it’s totally fine to use websites and free online resources aimed for those with disorders that you don’t necessarily have yourself. our therapist always says, it’s about treating the symptoms and pushing for a better quality of life more than pinning down the perfect labels.

the “#median system” and “#monoconscious” tags here on tumblr may also be useful for y’all to get a feel for what life is like for those kinds of systems. we do think self-perception and personal experiences matter and count for something. so even if there aren’t many “official” resources on median and monoconscious systems, that doesn’t mean you can’t learn more about yourself by engaging with folks who median or monoconscious themselves! together we can learn more about each other and ourselves :)

we’re sorry we weren’t able to be more of a help with tracking down info! remember imposter syndrome is pretty common in systems and doesn’t actually mean you’re faking, invalid, or not a real system by any means.

good luck with your research!

🐢 kip, 👻 ghost, and 🖋 cecil

[sanicsmut]

Ask for systems that aren't as defined/separated than others and are somehow monoconscious

Is it okay to never figure out who is who and just going with "it's me" because either way it feels like you even when it changes ?

[aster-is-confused]

i'm curious if this happens to any other systems. sometimes i'll be like "hmm wouldn't it be funny/weird if we got a headmate who was ______ (some character, species, trait, etc)," or "i've really been getting into _____ (piece of media) recently, i hope we don't split anyone from it." and then i immediately feel my brain start working to make that headmate. about half the time i can forcibly stop this process, and the other half the time they become a fragment who typically only sticks around for a few days unless they front consistently. this can also just happen sometimes when i'm scrolling through system tags and think about how my sys has been relatively active recently, and then the headmate generating machine kicks into gear seemingly just to spite me. it's almost like forming a tulpa (or whatever other similar term your prefer) but in the course of about 30 seconds and often against my will and they're not very permanent... so really i guess it's not that much like making a tulpa i guess lol

for a bit more context, i'm the host of a system of about 10-15, mostly fragments, and we very rarely switch anymore due to being in a more stable mental health situation than when the system formed. when we do switch it's almost always my choice and they may have trouble holding front (although this wasn't always the case). as you can probably guess by our relatively low member count, we don't split super easily, or at least not long-term full members (which we only have like 3 or 4 of at most, depending on how you define it).

anyways, do any other systems experience what i described? especially systems who are generally not as active and/or have a fairly low member count. i know what i described is probably common among huge polyfrag systems who split at the drop of a hat, but i'm curious about the experiences of systems similar to my own with this.

(p.s. we're mixed origins but anyone can interact with this as long as you're not being a jerk)

[bubblyaquarium]

tbh probably 8/10, it was cool but not too weird so everyone knew how to spell it, and it was unisex so I almost kept it ngl. It tied us to being a girl though so we did change it, and our new one fits better (it's BORING tho /lh)

Trans people should rate their deadnames on a scale of 1-10. Mines a 2/10, dogshit name, cant imagine birthing a baby looking at it and naming it that

[ghost-prism]

Last night, we experienced our second noticeable switch since the ... event. I guess we're going with "system collapse" for now.

As a monoconscious system with a shell-like host who used to be a subsystem on top of all that, we've always struggled to identify fronters. Sometimes we could tell there'd been a switch within the subsystem due to sudden emotional amnesia, but those were otherwise unremarkable. Being joined by a non-host headmate was much more exciting!

So that's what just happened for the second time since the big reshuffling of our system. The second guy was a little more distinct than the first, and amusingly we immediately realised he'd already appeared to us in a dream before. Sneaky!

We don't intend to encourage them to choose names anytime soon if they don't feel like it. Everything should happen at a natural pace this time around - no digging for details, no obsession with figuring out who's there. If people want to announce themselves, they can do that.

[bubblyaquarium]

When you're blurry so you kind of feel like everyone and no one all at once

[the-ribombee-collective]

Kinda hate explaining our plurality to people because it feels like we're saying "singlet, but with extra steps"

Like, "median monoconscious system that shares our memories with such a weak sense of identity we can't tell each other apart and might have used to think we were all the core"

Aka basically singlet but sometimes we're like "*hears noise at night in the headspace* "HELLO??? WHO'S THERE???""

[bubblyaquarium]

being monoconscious makes this kind of werid because if we're not fronting it's like we don't exist, I only rarely experience consciousness while not fronting and when I do its kind of like watching someone else play a first person video game, like I'm technically seeing myself but what I do and say is unpredictable and I don't have control I just have to guess what the body will do. I'm pretty sure only a few of us have even experienced this, we're pretty much "turned off" as soon as we leave front

Open ended question for other systems: how does it feel for you when you're not the one fronting?

[multiplicity-positivity]

Do you have any advice for starting/being in an in-system relationship when your internal communication is pretty much non-existent and you can't cofront?

Another member of our system and I are interested in each other, and we've been writing letters back and forth in order to talk. I would really like to get closer to him, but I have no idea how to navigate being close or going on dates or just in general building any kind of relationship there when we can't Actually talk or spend time together.

We've tried to learn internal communication, but any time we try to talk to other system members in the headspace we get a lot of system doubt because it feels more like a daydream than like an actual conversation and like we have to think of what the person we're talking to is going to say, so we get discouraged because we're pretty sure we're just making up the interactions

(Btw, in case it affects any advice you& might have to offer, we're monoconscious and we only have mild emotional/occasional grey-out amnesia)

Hi! This is a tough one, and I’m not sure if we have much good advice. Especially since we don’t know your system origins, and I think building communication between headmates in CDD systems might look a bit different than doing the same in systems formed without trauma.

Either way though, this post we have on establishing contact with headmates may help y’all build better communication. Remember that communication is something that takes time and practice. It makes sense if you’re not able to make progress right away or for things to feel a bit forced at first!

It might put your mind at ease a little bit if we discuss what internal communication looks like for us. For the most part, when we’re able to communicate with each other, we’re not really talking at all (even internally). Rather, we sort of project thoughts at each other. Those thoughts can sometimes blend with each other and make it difficult to decipher who said what. So I may think an idea was mine, when actually it was Kip’s or Cecil’s and they just got mixed together in the process of trying to communicate. It can make it seem sometimes like one of us is controlling or piloting the other, which can certainly be a jarring experience! But that’s not actually what’s happening - for us, it comes from blending and how we communicate overall. Maybe your system is doing something similar - it sounds like something like this could be happening, especially if your system is monoconscious!

It’s important to remember that every system is different, and internal communication is probably not going to feel the same as talking to someone physically outside the body. As long as you feel plural, and the plural framework is useful for you, there’s no need to doubt yourself or your system, no matter what your internal communication looks or feels like.

We’d suggest you keep up attempting to communicate however works best for y’all, have a bit of patience with the process of building communication (sometimes it takes a while to notice change!), and don’t have expectations that inside communication is going to look or feel like communicating with someone outside the body. Hopefully these things can help y’all understand each other better and keep in touch!

I’m sorry we don’t have more or better advice for you! Good luck with everything - we wish you and your system a future of joy, love, and happiness!

🌸 Margo and 💫 Parker

[moonpool-system]

ok but i feel like so many more people would understand the jist of monoconscious vs polyconscious systems if we analogized it to, say. Videogame POVs. and stay with me here because it's kinda like this; if you're polyconscious, all your members have different points of view, and switching feels like changing whose pov is using the *body's* pov. Y'know, the traditional concept of "switching places". But when you're monoconscious and switch, the POV is still the exact same- YOU have changed in essence, but the point of view is still the same as before. That's why I say it kinda feels like shapeshifting. I wonder if this all makes it easier to conceptualize? It's the difference between "POV: Headmate Red of the Rainbow System watches his headmate front while in co-con" and "POV: all the headmates of the Rainbow System, experienced at different points in time"

feel free to add on with any other thoughts. this is a shot in the dark

[clownly-writing]

Decided to have a little fun with this!

Title: Proposing when you can't keep secrets is pretty hard Warnings: None Relationships: F/NB | Tilly/Kaya Genre: Fluff Word Count: 310 Notes: This may or may not be a little all over the place :P Read on AO3 or under the cut :)

Kaya was nervous. Ze and hir partner Tilly had been together since they joined the Starlet Coven a couple of years back, and now Kaya wanted to propose to hir lovely Tilly. Ze talked with the host, Brendan, about the proposal extensively. Because Brendan was hir closest friend, and Kaya wanted them to be present as moral support. Also, being a monoconcious system with no other fronters gave them practically no other choice but to be present, but mainly it was because Kaya wanted Brendan to be there.

And Kaya would need the moral support. Ze wanted everything to be perfect. Beautiful scenery (which their architect Willow had been tasked with propping up in the innerworld), a fancy ring, Kaya’s best clothes and a lavish date beforehand. And, of course, it was going to be a surprise, as all good proposals are. Tilly had talked about marriage before, and both came to the conclusion that it would be something they would like, so it wouldn’t be a completely out of the blue proposal.

Of course, taking into account the nature of the system they were part of, keeping secrets from one another was nearly impossible. Tilly would simply act as though she hadn’t know Kaya’s intention since the beginning. This, too, had been discussed between the two. the system as a whole lived for some good lighthearted drama, so it was simply more fun this way.

Kaya and Tilly decided on a movie date in the outerworld, proxied by Brendan of course, followed by a nice walk through the new scenery in the innerworld. All the while the two were laughing and chatting and generally having a blast. And when Kaya had led Tilly to an elaborate fountain and went down to one knee, Tilly was just waiting for hir to finish hir proposal speech so she could say yes.

Headmate A is planning on proposing to Headmate B. Headmate B knows this, and is just waiting for A to do it so they can say yes.

Bonus points if A knows that B knows and is just having fun with it.

Submitted Prompt #139

[monoconsciouscultureis]

monoconscious culture is not being able to tell if you're just fixating on a certain character or if you actually are said character